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Chapter 51

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Tuesday, February 16, 2011
Current Master Builder List:
Things Im Building:

A Better Life
A Digital Video Business
Chapters of Manifesto
Fight Sequence Designs
Costumes
Archetypes and Mythos
Inventions
A Drawing Foundation
A 20-Page Comic Book Issue
1 Page of Comics
A Rebuilt Egypt
New Earth
Parallax
Mono
A Franchise
A Better Cartoon Show
A Ripped Video Collection
A DVD Collection
Cities, Wasteland Fantasy World

A few days, if not one or two days ago, everything was going fine for me. But like usual, once Andrew
was here, he triggered some kind of unspoken subconscious stress mechanism in me by not relenting in
whatever it was he was pursuing at the moment. Hes an intense kinda guy.
Needless to say, contact with Andrew kills any contact I have with my muse, creative, soul or creative
spirit. I think his angered presence sabotages that without even being aware he (Andrew) is doing so. This
is the second time this month thats happened. I sense a disturbance in The Force. His negative chi is
killing my positive chi, making it incredibly difficult, if not impossible to channel that accumulated
positive chi of mine into something creative and inventive. The day before he came over this morning, I
had been celebrating a win in my drawing. I did a record breaking 18 pages of fight design. In one day! I
wrote a note to myself, reminding me I also need to do a Action + Panels = Action Comics, 10-20 pg
issue. And Im closer than ever to that goal. Andrew was a big antagonist and obstacle, but not one big
enough to leave me entirely out of commission. If the goddamn Manga Creator and Comic Book Creator
software printing option hadnt gone retarded on me, Id already have 10 pages of fighting imagery in
comic book form printed out by now. But instead I had to redo it all with that crappy Digital Image Pro
software. Fucking just my luck. Ill tackle the task of using Digital Image Pro to cut and paste some
fighting pages in the next few days. Not tonight. Its 1:02 a.m. for Christs Sake. I should be sleeping. I
really should.

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The Parallax Mono Comics have three stages of production, just like any other animated series:

Pre-Production
Production
Post-Production

Truth is, I spent more time in pre-production than I probably ever should have. Got a lil too sloppy and
lazy along the way, but finally got my groove back just recently. Now Im just beginning to enter into
producing some of the actual mid-level production work: Panel layout, Script, inks, pencils. I need to let
my attachment to and addiction with the pre-production phase GO. Theres no use lingering there any
longer. It will only hurt me. Now its time to get down to business. Post production is selling, editing,
revising, promotion, advertising, publishing, and general publicity and publication. Considering how
dense I want the book to be, its still going to be a while till my project ever gets the chance to see the
light of day. But I am slowly but surely getting up to speed with drawing action happening in panels with
swords, martial arts fighting, action, and whatnot. So at least Im off to an OK start.
Damn. I never thought to advertise my webcomics URLs in the front and back of my actual printed
comics books. But If they do get distribution, that could be a brilliant marketing move. Everyone checks
the words in comic books, and the adverts! WCN and Mono Comics and Toon Realm are prime
candidates. Okay, maybe not Toon Realm, but definitely the other two.
If you cant draw, or dont feel up to the task, you can always edit and re-edit your art instead. After all,
editing artwork was a task practically made for people who cant draw.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
There. 2 Comic Book Practice Issues: Completed; Done; Case Closed.
I compiled 2 20-page Chapter Layouts for Mono Comics.
Some of it is random, but it is beginning to have a tangible flow to it, even if it is mostly sketches.
Finished making some real comics finally. Though some of thema lot, actuallyare unrefined,
technically they still do count as comics pages.
However, technically, Id say it qualifies as a comic scrapbook considering a lot of it is slapped
together. But, 2-Comics issues are still 2 comics issues, even if theyre Slapped together. Though the
chops or draftsmanship is a bit shitty and sketchbook-abstract in certain spots, on the plus side, its
nonetheless all original artwork. All the art in these 2 pages was designed, drafted, created, and edited
together by me. Im the producer of these 2 20-page comics issues of Mono Comics.

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Artist-Writer Animation-Comic Book Auteur Masters

Windsor McCay
Katsuhiro Otomo
Osamu Tezuka
Todd McFarlane
Jhonen Vasquez
Aaron McGruder
George Lucas
Rob Schrab
Yoshiyuki Sadamoto
Masamune Shirow
Moebius
Jim Davis
Steve Purcell
Bruce Timm

The Original Visionary Animation-To-Comics Pioneers

Windsor McCay
Osamu Tezuka
Katsuhiro Otomo
Moebius
Todd McFarlane

As far as I know, none of these guys (the early pioneers of comics-to-animation adaptation) really
emphasized what my work emphasized, exactly the way I do it. Lesser artists do that, but not any of the
Eastern and Western Masters. Im going to have a lot of fun adapting the fight sequences. I want to
adapt my fight scenes Dragon Ball style, except do it in my own original style like I have been.
Adapting Martial Arts Fight Design into Animation Fight Design is one job I can be very, very proud of.
All comedy animators treat martial arts as comic relief, never taking the process of drawing the moves
or outsourcing them seriously. Because they are or do one of 2 things: 1) Unaware of how to portray
realistic fighting in animation, or 2) They stubbornly refuse to adapt to modern circumstance, and stick to
drawing simplistic comedic gags and dialogue.
Though Mono is the main personality of Parallax and New-Earthand what a personality he is!the
real star of Parallax and Mono Comics is the Fight Design and the Production Design, just as it is with
any piece of Asian literature or cinema. The Real Star is always the Fight Design and/or Layouts.

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Completed:

Rough Pre-Production Scrapbooks

Character Designs (Mono, Jen, Jim, Plague/Nosferatu)

Coming Soon:

More Layouts and Production Design

More Character Design
More Storyboards and Panel Thumbnails
More Comics Pages
More Costumes
More Cut-And-Pasting
More Fighting Brainstorms
More Scripts
More one Shots (20-Pg Chapters)

From 2010 Now in 2011, I copy from the old Shaw Bros. wuxia films, Katsuhiro Otomo and
Hiroaki Samura comics a Whole Lot. To say nothing of George Lucas Catherine-Winder-produced
3-D animated series: The Clone Wars. I think the influence is a mutual two way one, in Clone Wars
case, if you ask me. They borrow from my online art as much as I borrow from their poses and light saber
battles. I watch just about every episode on Cartoon Network every Friday, whenever I get the chance,
which is basically all the time. All these have given me a lot of inspiration. A whole careers worth of
inspiration. Right now, these influences have replaced both Kill Bill Volume 1, Ghost in the Shell, Spawn,
and The Matrix as my biggest influence and inspiration of the moment. I pay attention to every
nanosecond Anakin Skywalker is on screen in Clone Wars. He is the ultimate samurai swordsman. I want
Mono Jubei to be more like him in some ways, or at least stay consistent with him. Anakin Skywalker is
the biggest model and inspiration for Monos physical design form and costume at the moment.
DeviantART is no longer an inspiration. Nowadays, theyre just another one of my rivals.
Essentially, to describe Monos physical appearance and aura, Ill just simplify by saying hes essentially
Anakin Skywalker with Wolverines Voice, whether its Scott McNeil Ocean Groups Wolverine or a
later rendition, Steve Blum and Nicktoons Wolverine. Either is acceptable. Its all the same concept in
my eyes.
Im going to be drawing, producing, co-producing, executive producing, writing, storyboarding, (maybe)
directing wuxia fight sequences, and pacing and designing Mono for the rest of my life, till the day I die!
And Im completely happy with such a fate, if it ends that way. Id be more than happy to live out this
potential End-Game in both comics and animation forever, because its my passion. Im happy with it.
Im happy doing it. Typically, your Mystical Destiny is not one you question a lot. You Destiny does last
the rest of your life, if youre lucky. Comic book choreography, or Straight-Up Action, is my
Destinys Definitive Calling Card. Its not meant to be shared the way my Mono Designs were. I need to
guard my secrets of this art: Comic Book Choreography. Thinking as Choreographers of Asia think
will make my manga-comics that much more powerful. The only way to keep it powerful is to fend off
encroachers with continual practice and training, progress through practice and experience, and not

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sharing my martial arts-related secrets. Teaching my tricks and illusions to no one, just like what
Yoshiyuki Tomino did with Gundam, except instead of War and Martial Artswhich is what Im
doing he did it, his magic, War and Mecha or Giant Robots.
When you accept a film, you are essentially accepting the contents and themes the film represents
as well, much of the time. It will have content, statements, dialogue, themes, motifs, or scenes you
agree with in your heart somewhere. If people accept Parallax, theyre accepting Action, The
Martial Arts, The Aesthetics of Violence, and certain other things, like fantasy, heroes, lore,
mythology, and SF (sci-fi).
The best Action-Choreographers, anywhere in the world:

Bruce Lee
Yuen-Woo Ping
Jackie Chan
John Woo
Corey Yuen

Western Martial Arts Choreography is a true underdog of the Choreography world. Audiences and
fans tend to think of it as slower, clumsier, more awkward, less effortless, lazy, less important, less
perfect, un-coordinated. And sometimes, it is. But thats slowly starting to change. Particularly in the
American Action-Adventure Animation genre. American animators, slowly, but surely enough, are
slowly learning how to think and draw like Southeast Asian Animators, over the passage of the last
decade in animation. Show and genres like Franime, Samurai Jack, Teen Titans, Avatar the Last
Airbender, Ben 10, and The Boondocks, and Generator Rex, led by animators, designers, producers, and
directors such as Genndy Tartakovsky, Craig McCracken, LeSean Thomas, Joaquim Dos Santos,
Bruce Timm, and Glen Murakami have silently been leading a revolution in American animation fight
design and on-screen choreography in television animation, with enough skill to rival the animated
motions of nearly anything from France or Japan. And while its true, I dont look like a fighter, and in
truth Im not much of one in real life, on the page, when at my best, I am a Dragon. I am the Dragon of
the Page and Screen.
Progress Report: My Fighting Design Skills actually seem to have attained an intermediate level of
artistry and design by now. Im making up most of my poses. Im exaggerating and stretching the
anatomy of the pose. And its not just one pose. Its a sequence, intermixed with non-fighting imagery.
Ive got a while to go until I reach a Korean-style advanced level. But Im definitely showing
improvement and making progress. Im thinking in the language of choreography and
daydreaming fight scenes, just like it is recommended. The next step is fleshing out the drawings, and
mixing it up with dialogue, drama, reasons the main characters fight, so that last one is from a
literary, narrative, and storytelling perspective. The important part is getting real poses down on
paper, following the way of the Ink and Pencil Dragon. Intermediate level means you have enough
diligence, will-power, endurance, and durability to continue on designing fights, continually, over
10 years or so, so until around 2020 Ill still be at an intermediate level as a fight design
choreographer and designer. I can practice every day and get 10 times better if I want but as far as Im

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concerned Im stuck at, or will choose to continue to stay at beginner-intermediate level until enough
years of training have gone by (2020).
With action comics, maybe it just is that simple. Maybe it is all just dialogue dialogue, action,
action. But for some reason, I still find simplification of things kind of shocking. Its too easy. Or maybe,
it just seems too easy, but really isnt.
In terms of action sequences, those 2 20-page issues were a nice warm up. Only 9 more years to go until
Im actually pretty good! Thats barely any time at all. A lot will have changed by then. Well have an
even newer president. Scary thought. Obama is good enough.
Im really not used to anyone but me endorsing or openly supporting my creative enterprises and
ventures. Im used to being the only one who endorses himself. Im used to having no support, whether
outspoken or subliminal. Normally I dont get any support, and in a way that statement still holds true
today. Im used to the loneliness, stigma, criticism, lack of support, and genuine social isolation that goes
with being not only a 22 Master Builder and INTP-INFP Architect-Healer engineer, but also what has
come to be known as a world-beater. In a way, Im a comic book world-beater. I wont say the M-word
(Give up? Its Master), but Im sure some would try to classify me as that too, even if my style ended up
not conforming to the genre stylings.
And as a world-beater of show-business, I dont ask much of this world. Just that you all Drop to Your
Knees, Bow Down, and Forsake All Other Gods Before Me! Nah, but sometimes I feel that way.
Ultimate World-Beaters: (People who are vastly superior to all others in their chosen field)

Osamu Tezuka
Katsuhiro Otomo
Todd McFarlane
Quentin Tarantino
Yasuhiro Nightow
Dave Sim
Bill Gates
Steve Wozniak
Ted Turner
Lance Heiskell
Stephen King
Isaac Asimov
Leo Tolstoy
William Shakespeare
Moebius
Tolkien
Howard Stern
Oprah Winfrey
Steven Spielberg
George Lucas

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Akira Toriyama
Bruce Lee

I just have to have some Faith, that if I do die in the next 30 years, that my death wont be a total waste.
How exactly did Dave Sim finish the miracle that is Cerebus, sitting pretty at 300 issues, 6,000 pages?
Thats an easy one. He had faith in Father God and the Good Lord Above. It sounds cheesy but everyone
can use a little faith. Im sure at some point he tapped into his faith to achieve what was once considered
humanly impossible. Dave Sim probably prayed a lot and found Strength through his Faith to find the
Courage, Diligence, and Energy to complete Cerebus. He did become a member of the clergy after he
finished Cerebus after all, or so the Dave Sim Legend goes. Dave Sim created a miracle from scratch, on
a very low budget. You want to see what an actual miracle of a masterpiece really looks like? Buy a
Cerebus phonebook graphic novel. Read The Lord of the Rings. Read Spawn. Read or watch AKIRA by
Katsuhiro Otomo. Watch Star Wars. Those are all one-man-army-made monuments of creativity and
innovation. They are miracles of ingenuity, made possible by God Himself harnessing his power through
the genius of my favorite literary and filmmaker auteurs.
And once where I had atheist scientific curiosity to explore, I now have faith in God to see me through to
success. I refuse to let my Egotism get in the way of my Faith in God to give me Strength to draw
6,000180,000 pages. Its going to take faith (in the Lord God) to complete something as dense, thick,
massive, epic, longwinded, and complex as Parallax. Parallax is a work of genius. God has bestowed me
with the wonderful visions I refer to as New-Earth, Mono Jubei, Mono Comics, and Parallax, and God
will give me the Sacred Power to Finish said Masterwork. God has given me a lot of things. Genius and a
God-like Fortitude, for one thing. And also a world-beater temperament. God wants me to build a
foundation of safety for myself. God will provide me with much comfort, if I have faith and show Love to
Him, even in Death. Im still partially Zen and Taoist also after all. Cant forget those. My genius
technically doesnt come directly from me. I channel that energy from God. God gives me the power to
make miracles happen with my creative and intellectual genius. If there were ever a case for the Lord
God, it would be me and my Story. Both from life and from fantasy, or my head and imagination. God
has helped me endure much social travesty. Gods helped me endure much humiliation at the cruel and
unholy hands of Hollywood, TV, cable, bullies, bad neighbors, people on drugs and in traffic, and the
media. God has given me the strength and power to overlook such blatant insults. I dont believe anyones
going to Hell, except very vile, very violent, sadistic, sick minded sociopaths and psychopaths that enjoy
causing pain in others and threatening them. That is the kind of stuff thats the Devils handiwork. If
youre a sadist or sociopath and show no regret, youre burning in hell after you die, if you arent
sentenced to a fate worse than death in prison first, that is. So dont be mean.
Creativity is fueled by god. Almost any act of true creativity is a miracle made by God. Creativity helps
us reconnect with Lord God our Savior.
If Ive ever created any miracles or thaumaturgy during my life, it wouldnt have happened
without Lord God.
God gives you Willpower you wouldnt otherwise have.

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What do you get when you combine Tim Burton and Jhonen Vasquez style auteur animation-theory with
fight design and Asian action filmmaking from filmmakers such as Yuen, Otomo Katsuhiro, and John
Woo, you ask? You get my style
In terms of drawing, my draftsmanship is not the best, my form isnt the best, but my content is. Ive
crafted a form and style like no one else, and I tell stories and create comics and animation like no one
else. The only people who draw like me are the ones who are imitating my example. Theyre not
very good at hiding that fact either. Its pretty obvious theyre mimicking me. People still know its
me who started this movement.
About modern Asian cinema: Less Chop-Socky Cheese and more Martial Arts Choreography.
My martial arts choreography aerobic practice, and my study of classic Hong Kong action filmmaking
have really slowed down my drawing practice a bit. But that is okay. Im taking time off to study. Im
revitalizing my energy levels and spirit with as much more traditional experience as possible. Once I get
back into drawing Ill probably be back with renewed vigor from having waited so long to resume
sketching fight designs and choreographed storyboards and page layouts. Im also kind of waiting to buy
that Otomo storyboard art book from Amazon.co.jp.
Training and Practice in drawing and art with mechanical writing non-technical pens and sharpies
and not art pens, Number 2 pencils, or mechanical pen is the artistic line quality equivalent of what the
series Dragon Ball Z refers to as training with weighted clothes. Youre setting limits to yourself on
purpose, intentionally making it impossible to have good line quality. That way when you finally switch
over to a more flexible medium like pencils of all sorts, it makes practicing with actual line weight that
much easier on you! Pencils are the best medium for demonstrating line weight and line quality of
copied and original drawings.
Okay, Im almost positive Ive been training in mind numb, limp, mechanical pen fatigue, inker, and
weighted clothes mode for long enough. Its time I began refining my work a bit. That, and adding
choreography to my compositions and camera shots. Im getting sick of seeing Mono only appear through
writing-pen ink. Ive restricted myself a bit too much, to the point of suffocating the line quality out of my
artwork entirely! I need to stop this practice.
Its kind of the In-Thing in Hollywood now, if youre an action director, to hire and subcontract a HongKong choreographer in-studio, on-set to work with Hollywood actors, screenwriters, and directors. I think
its obvious who I am talking about. The usual names: Yuen Woo-Ping, Corey Yuen, Tarantino, The
Wachowski Brothers, Kill Bill, The Matrix. First off, I could never completely villainize that technique,
because on one level, it does succeed. It does work at enhancing the illusions to a certain extent. But in
another sense, they dont seem to be trying to improve the American action choreography system for the
most part. Theyre just neglecting it in favor of importing talent from Hong-Kong, which technically isnt
really improving American film, or American film choreography. Its just enhancing the status of Hong
Kong choreography by people becoming aware the early directing work of choreographers like Yuen
Woo-Ping. I used to be a lot less critical of the imported/localized Hong Kong film talent theory than I
am now. But that was before I began academically studying fight choreography, fight design, fight
rhythm, and fighting on screen. Thinking like a real American choreographer in other words. Im just as

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serious about being a choreographer of artistic projects as I am about being a film editor or
costume designer.
Avatar the Last Airbender and Samurai Jack and Star Wars: Clone Wars are a bit less superficial in terms
of approach and logistics of their choreography. Theyre assisted by Asian Choreographers, but their
making more of an effort to do their own thing along with that, the whole subcontractor thing. In other
words, hiring Asian Choreographers to direct all the fight scenes in your project and production doesnt
allow American action fight designers to learn anything, and the result is: American choreography
remains vastly inferior to Hong Kong and Japanese action film choreography. Not as much is changing in
America with the former group (i.e. Wachowski Brothes, Tarantino, etc.) as many in Hollywood would
imagine. Most of the time, America imports filmmaking talent nowadays to make its own films for me
because it cant do it itself: An Unfortunate Truth in the modern era of fight comics and wuxia
appreciation. The American has evolved into something a whole lot weaker and more reliant on Southeast
Asia and Southeast Asia film and film-talent because of this. America can stay competitive in the world
film community by training its own staffs to match or one day even surpass the level of Asia. There
are no shortcuts to this goal, other than to work every day, strategize every day, draw and write
every day, and train practice every day, 24/7. And read up on martial arts choreography and Asian
cinema in books and watch documentaries about it. That and pausing DVDs of anime and Hong
Kong KF cinema.
I still worship Tarantino. I still love both Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction, but the best scene in Kill Bill was
done by a famous anime studio, and when it comes to style, Pulp Fiction is Tarantino being Tarantino.
Kill Bill is Tarantino being all the Southeast Asian filmmakers he admires. It would be cool if he did a
Yakuza movie that combined the aesthetics of Pulp Fiction with the choreography of Kill Bill. That
would be cool. Thats kind of what Im trying to do. Kung Fu suit cool and guns.
The bigger the name of the actor, creator, producer, or director collaborating with you on your film or TV
project, the more buzz that project is going to generate and the more likely it is to make a profit it will
earn for its investors. When it comes to working with people, your entire career is correlated with star
power. The more of a star the people working with you are, the better of a chance your project has of
attaining a profit. Brand names are valuable in Hollywood (and consequently, Asia and Europe as well).
I have an extreme case of hemorrhoidal diarrhea. I cant tell whether its a curse, too much OJ and coffee,
or just bad health, bad bowels.
New Media Old Media: If I ever do make the transition from new-media star to old-media
superstar, its going to be a challenge. Its going to take work. Real work. And not a little work
either. A lot. Im going to have to prove myself every step of the way. The internet is used to
treating and seeing me a certain way.
Im going to need to buy some flipbook-animation-test software from the internet.
I dont want to approach speed motion in my comics in a conformist Japanese way. I want to master
my own brand of action effects. I dont want to draw dust clouds, bullet flames, and action sequences
in animation or comics in a traditional Japanese way. I want to add to the lore. Its the subliminal

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illusions and effects I get caught up in, because I really want to innovate. I think around 50 pages of
sword swipes shadow image animation frames would make for a beautiful flip book animation test.
Its much harder to draw fighting if you approach it from a detached perspective. So easy it is to bore
yourself, get frustrated, and burn yourself out with fatigue when you only think of your fight design as
Okay. Im going to sit down sketch and draw a fight scene now. Thats ineffective. Thats the
method I used to use and wore myself out with.
What you really want to do is think of it as a choreographer and fight designer. Treat it like your
directing a real fight in a real movie. Ask a lot of questions related to your fighting: How many
different fights am I going to draw? What techniques are my characters good at? What moves do they
use? What are my camera shots, angles, and perspective? How many fighters am I constructing? What
is the rhythm of the fight? How long is the duration of the rhythm of the fight? What kind of moves
do/does my fighter/fighters know and can execute? The potential fighting combinations of fight
choreography are not limited to just a few. As a matter of fact there is limited diversity to the variety of
fighting combos, combinations, and rhythms one can use in their execution.
There really isnt that much useable fighting art out there. Most of it is all the exact same clich. People
using and reusing the same clich and iconic poses in animation.
If I were a hero, Id be the underdog. My story is that of an underdog. Meanwhile Mono is the type of
Asian Hero thats known as The Loner, as referenced by the word Mono.
In the magical world of American television actor roles and archetypes, there are the abused and
abusers. Those who attack and those who are attacked. Predators and prey. Bullies and nerds. In TV, its
like republican and democratic, youre either on one end of the spectrum or the other, never right in the
middle where it should be.
If you attain strength, TV will portray you as the abuser, the predatory and sadistic bully. Youre the one
that gives abuse to the rest of the cast. You know, The Sadist Villain.
If you dont have enough strength, TV will portray you as the loser, the nerd, the weakling, the one that
receives abuse from the rest of the cast. You know, The Weak Nerd Victim.
American TV has trouble with gray areas, particularly channels like the so-called big-five networks.
There are really no gray areas or middle ground in American primetime television. It is moronically
simplistic narratives for the moronically feminine and simple minded. The idiot box.
Tokyopop has no plans in the direct future to publish any original manga or OEL/American/World
manga. They went on record with me in an email of saying it was expensive and time consuming. And
they didnt find many good unsolicited submissions, but instead found quality work through Rising
Stars, recommendations from people they know, and convention portfolio reviews. In other words,
Tokyopop has lost money with original manga, and didnt find much good material when they were
pursuing it. But clearly theyre still in love with Min Woo-Hyung and me, so Im not worried. When the
time is right, Im sure theyll still be around. But for now, Tokyopop is devoting more effort to pushing
the books they already have licensed. Princess Ai, Priest, Rising Stars of Manga, and all that.

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In other news, Chrono Crusade is playing on SyFy tonight. Im intrigued by this title.
Which media outlets do press releases: Yahoo, AWN, ANN, Mania, ICV2, Animation Magazine, Time,
Toonzone, Adult Swim, Tokyopop, Manga, Funimation, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Disney.
Tokyopops struggles as a publisher and original manga player have taught me a valuable lesson: Dont
spread yourself too thin. Stay with what works.
Im a celebrity superstar power player personality and entertainer with social phobia and social anxiety.
Im also a sensitive male in some ways, but also a courageous one. And I also have phonophobia and a
tendency towards weight gain and obesity, brought on by the weight gainer pills I take. My adoptive
father is also socially aggressive, sarcastic, and short-tempered. But I didnt inherit any traits from him,
obviously, considering were not blood relatives.
Im through with Florida. Im going to start saving up for being able to move to Hollywood, California.
Im going to start a reserve fund specifically for moving to and living in the City of Los Angeles,
California. As soon as I can afford to, Ill be heading out there for work at some point during my
adulthood. Parallax: The Los Angeles Chronicles! Mono Jubei Goes Hollywood! Its gonna be freakin
awesome. Im moving to Los Angeles to become a screenwriter and artist of some sort. Well, at least
hopefully. But I aim to do as much networking as possible whenever I am in Los Angeles. Hong Kong,
Tokyo, Toronto, Paris, London, Los Angeles, Chicago, Fort Worth, Atlanta. I want to eventually see all
the major cultural cities. Not with the media or anything though.
Eventually, Ill submit some material to Nick Weidenfeld eventually. I know theyre getting really
impatient with me in terms of submitting my material, but Ill be ready when Im ready.
Holy Shit! Im hypomanic right now! The thought of finally getting to see Los Angeles in the next 10 to
20 years, to work in its most beloved industry: Hollywood. Its like going to the Promised Land of my
Personal World. Its like a kid going to Disney Land. I know Its going to take a lot of money out of my
SS paychecks, but the savings over 10 years will be worth it
All the entertainment stuff happens in Los Angeles. Animation, Hollywood movies, animated series,
novels, comic books, indie comic books, film, television; Ive spent my whole life in the wrong
environment, one thats not creative, cultured, sensitive, iconic, and showbusiness-ey. Thats all L.A. is.
Im perfectly happy with that arrangement. Ive spent my entire youth living in the middle of buttsville.
Maybe I can finally recover some honor.
SS Paycheck: As much as I love books, the long term decision to save up my savings fund should clearly
go to my business travel expenses. Which do I want more: Books and DVDs, or an apartment room in
L.A. with a chance to make it in the Promised Land? Really, when you get right down to it, the only
reason I havent already moved to Los Angeles is because I cant afford to yet.
If I save up $70 a month for 10 years, Ill have around $9,000 in relocation expenses, to give me a little
bit of time to move to L.A., find an apartment, and land an internship at a Los Angeles studio. Even if I
run out of funding, at least Ill have gained experience as an happy-to-help-you intern. It will give me,
connections in Los Angeles, steady employment (even if its just as an intern) and maybe a little bit of
money on the side. Ill also buy a digital camera and cell phone of my own to take pictures of the city of

P a g e | 13
Los Angeles and random tourist attractions from my stay there. It will be like being a frontiersman. If this
plan works I will truly be a Made-Man. Ive got to remember that if Im working in Los Angeles, I need
to network. I also need to learn to drive.
I never expected to become a entertainment and technology world leader and player at the mere age of 27.
Not many get to experience this type of opportunity. Ive had to face some staggering challenges, and Ive
overcome pretty much all of them. I lead the Technology and Information sector of the international
community. And I do it all from Florida. When it comes to technology, people just trust me. They have
faith in me. It may not pay much, but the rewards for being in my position are infinite and vast. It was like
the less important Ive tried to be in the real world, the more present and visible I have become. By now,
Id be lying if I said it was really about anybody else. After all, who else has my level of presence in
modern classical media of any and all varieties that my likeness and contributions to the world have.
YouTube is aware Im historically the first person ever to upload an anime video to their site. Theyre
aware of it. Im aware of it. Theres really not much else to say about it. Okay, well actually a lot has been
said about it. But I never received credit for it, purely because I chose not to conform to copyright and
uploaded my videos independently, and millions of fellow anime uploaders emerged over the year. But
the truth is Im the first YouTube anime uploader in history. I had those video clips about half a year
before YouTube went online, in the year 2005, 6 years ago, so I have the proof. Not that I need it. Many
acknowledge me as the creator of the genre by indirectly referencing my various names Ive used,
which is flattering. I may have invented YouTube anime uploading, but I certainly dont control a
power like that.
Comparing Mono Comics to Yazurai
Mono Comics: Star Wars Conan Elric of Melnibone

Hero, Dual Wielding Sword, Trenchcoat

Main Character
Apocalypse-Action Story
Moral Grounding
Justice
Film Noir
Paramilitary Organization
Yazurai: Pulp Fiction Invader Zim A Better Tomorrow

Anti-Hero, Gun-Fu, Black Suits

Ensemble Cast
Crime-Action Story
Moral Ambiguity
Honor and Crime
Film Noir
Organized Crime

P a g e | 14
So now, Ive got a Spin-Off of Mono: Yazurai. About the Criminal Underworld and Criminal
Organizations and Tarantino-school anti-heroes that exist within such a world. In one series (my first
one), I deal with what it means to be a hero. In my second series, Yazurai, I deal with what it means to be
a villain with a code of what he as the anti-hero perceives to be honor and chivalry.
I have a sixth sense when it comes to self-defense. I posses a pre-emptive defense tactic. I know when an
opponent is going to attack me, psychologically or physically. I have a psychic intuition when it comes to
attacks, verbal or physical against myself! This can make it easier to manipulate my opponent, fake my
opponent out, and develop a defensive strategy. I dont always see it coming, but I always know if its
malicious or not. What Sumner Redstone and certain journalists have against me is quite malicious.
Fortunately I often see their attacks before their unleashed or thrown at me, and I can act hyper-quickly. I
defend at lightning speed. My defensive and evasive maneuvers are second to none. I capable of preemptive evasive and defensive maneuvering, both psychological, emotional, mental, and physical. Im a
ninja man! Fuck yes. In boxing, its call ducking and weaving.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Im actually a pretty big Roger Ebert buff now. Hes a bit topical, I know, but hes quite the prolific
author, screenwriter, and critic. Theres something he and I have in common. Its hard to put it into
words.
ACCORDING TO ASTROLOGY:
I have a public career, not a private one, because my connection with the public is that strong. I speak to
the people. I know what the public really wants, and I know how to rally behind things and causes the
people really want.
I can create an amazing atmosphere, whether its architecture, a world, a city, a painting, or a pen and ink
sketch. I know how to establish a real strong atmosphere.
I get a great pleasure out of engaging in forbidden or unauthorized behavior. Sometimes; not all the time.
Im always direct and honest. I have a natural appreciation for anything literary and artistic. Written
words have a very high value to me. What I talk about and say and write about always carries a lot of
content.
I love decorum and etiquette. I avoid harsh and crude actions, people, and things
My ability to discriminate real breakthroughs and to spot new trends makes me able to work in areas at
the very fringe of technology. I love all that is new and different. Electronics, computers,
communications, everything electrical, is right up my alley. Im a free spirit.
I make luck happen almost by sheer belief. I create my own opportunity and lucky situations through my
confidence, enthusiasm and faith in the future.
Reincarnation, psychic experiences, and all thats occult and hidden from common view. I plunge right in,
dig through the whole mess, and leave no secret unturned.

P a g e | 15
ACCORDING TO ASTROLOGY:
Im very aware of vulnerabilities in myself and others. I also have a natural ability to see into the hidden
depths; that which underlies and informs the material world around us. Keeping secrets is easy for me and
I may find myself in the position of trusted confidant.
Long Journeys interest me.
I may startle others with my direct conversations, always getting right to the nitty gritty.
A world traveler, I enjoy fair, just, frank, and broad-minded persons. I dare to dream big.
I like new philosophies
I like long novels.
Im a business, media, science, technology, internet, comics, animation, anime & manga creator power
player auteur, and powerhouse.

The Highest Ideal of the Enlightened Genius of My Mind

To Write and Draw The Next 6,000 Page Cerebus Graphic Novel Series
To Write and Draw The Next 2,000 Page Akira Graphic Novel Series
To Create, Write, and Storyboard The Next 26-episode Cowboy Bebop / IGPX TV anime show

This is my journey. To create something that might one day be this good.
My presence is a brand. My presence is one of the most powerful things there is about me. Im an
Influencer. I influence people with ease.
How to be an Art Ninja
Manga-ka
If people know what my book will look like before I make it, or see me unleashing my work into the
media, or know what it looked like when I was working on the project, or see the comic book or script
material ANYWHERE before I release it, Im NOT being an effective art-ninja, i.e. a manga-ka. No
manga-ka art-ninja allows anyone to see him working. He always does it in private, and the manuscript he
produces must be seen by no one but his agent.
That is why the only time I can have my computer in wired-mode (non-wireless) is when the monitor is
face down over the keyboard, and its battery is being charged. If Im going to do any scanning, typing,
writing, editing art or writing, filling in blacks, the laptop must always be wireless. Otherwise the Trojans
will detect it and hackers will feed on it. There is a way to keep it wireless all the time. Every time Im
not using the computer, close the monitor, and plug the computer in while the screen is dead

P a g e | 16

PARALLAX:
The Chronicles of Mono Jubei
Created, Written, Storyboarded
& Executive Produced by

JM Strebler

Based on the
Comic Book Series by

JM Strebler
I really like projects that are primarily masterminded and executed by one person, at least on the surface
level. There is only room in showbusiness for one auteur per project, the vast majority of the time. It helps
to know whos in charge of the project.
The Influencer
My Most Influential Contributions

YouTube Anime
Mono & Parallax Archetype
Myself (Face, Likeness, Skin Color)
TVPC concept
Editing Style
Co-Production Lobbying
Action [Filmmaking (Hollywood, Anime, Animated Series), Literature (Novels, Comics, World
Manga)]

Im not sure how they do it in Japan, but technically, in most American studios, storyboard-panel
composition visual narrative storytelling and camera shots and camera transitions go hand in hand
with the outline and screenwriting process. I dont want to compartmentalize them too much. Im
going to need to find a new production method technique that synthesizes and integrates
storyboarding with screenwriting. Just like a script narrative is usually not sequentially written, not
all of the screenwriting is done before the storyboard and panel department gets to have input by
providing new artwork.

P a g e | 17
As long as you tape all the good shows at night and during the early morning with DVR or watch some or
all of them live, TV actually has a lot of good shows on still.
Jesus Christ! I never noticed this. I have the most boring compositions in the world! My designs and line
quality are superb, but the way I arrange contours and scene compositions is so crude, amateurish, and
boring!
I believe you get better at drawing and publishing comics by practicing.
Publishing is like drawing and writing. It takes experience and practice to get it right. Self-publishing
offers that opportunity to hone your skills. My publishing process is actually quite experimental. Im
becoming a huge fan of experimental publishing. Kind of like experimental comics. Just as comics art
can be experimental, so too can the business and strategy of the publishing process.
Through experimental On-Demand self-publishing and self-printing, Ive published 2 issues of a
practice version of Mono Comics. The art is sloppy and sucks, but theyre still binded comics. I plan on
producing a lot more in the future with the faster, more detailed, and more refined I get. I predict Ill get a
lot better at drawing fully rendered comics and printing them with ease, entirely on my own with a little
help from Lulu Publishing.
One valuable lesson Ive learned is that no one produces perfect comics on the first attempt. NO ONE. It
takes practice and experience to be good at comics. I should know. Im obsessed enough about comics.
Issues, Episodes, Chapters, and Volumes require a certain rhythm to them, if youre going to be drawing a
fighting fantasy serial in them. Quality is an afterthought that comes second. Rhythm and pacing comes
first. If you continue drawing 20 pages of random fighting art and dialogue pacing, the quality takes care
of itself if your developing your drafting and rendering skills separately. Eventually, the two will be
combined, and youll have a system of both art and pacing, or rhythm set up. Get good at pacing stick
figures and contours and gestures, then clean it up, redraw it, and revise it later! The rhythm accumulates
into something more beautiful, detailed, and complex over time. But it wont become that unless you
develop the pacing-rhythm and structure as well.
I was watching the documentary on the Documentary Channel, Dream On, Silly Dreamer, about the death
of 2-D animation in favor of digital animation at Disney and how it basically killed the morale of many
of Disneys most passionate and compassionate souls that they were employing. I mean, they still produce
2-D Features, but it clearly isnt anywhere near the level it was at in the 90s and earlier. There are some
inspiring artists in that documentary, falling on hard times. Many of them didnt find equivalent work.
When I look at that Disney documentary, and the shit that is Disney Channel sex-drugs-rock-and-roll
network, it kind of gives me a new appreciation for my own current position. Makes me want to hire
those people just so they can HAVE something to work on. I just wish it was that simple.
Locally produced anime productions, even after things like Avatar The Last Airbender, Dead Space, and
IGPX, is still an unthinkable insult to America (and/or) The Japanese anime industry in many people
minds. But this is my business plan, and I am sticking to it. I want to be like Tezuka, Otomo, Toriyama,
and Walt Disney the man, except with anime and manga production. Maybe people at Disney and in
American animation are opposed to one man departments. But at the same time, it only stays a won

P a g e | 18
man department until supporters and co-workers join in. I wouldnt be a won man department if other
artists, studios, and producers would just reach out and help me. But Williams Street is above reaching
out apparently. Nickelodeon and Disney on the other hand, at least act like they care a little more when it
comes to their best, most loyal or most generous employees. Phils generosity to me when he was
teaching at the Disney Institute and also teaching me, during the same period, is a testament to that. Ill
never forget what he gave to me in terms of friendship and knowledge.
I like detail, but I need to stop with this I want to conform to anime and manga phase. From now on,
its just animation and comics. You can have perspective, fight choreography, detailed effects,
anatomical/architectural/and fabric hyper-detailing as well as a cinematic philosophy and curriculum
without it being manga or anime, if you ask me. And Im going to prove it. Im tired of trying to conform
to the Southeast Asian animation-comics industry. I dont hire, outsource, or subcontract to Japanese or
Korean animators and directors, unless they really, really want to work with me. Which most of the time,
they dont want to work with me. So I have nothing to worry about.
In some ways, most American animation looks exactly the same (all cute). And in a way, all anime and
manga look the same (hyper-rendered, cute, and designy). I dont want to do the same old thing and look
like everything else. I want to do American animation design that isnt cute. Phil used to tell me You
need to make it cute. Fuck, no you dont.
Made in USA
For now, I dont believe in outsourcing to Korean animation studio contractors just to plan and
produce a decent character design or quality action-boards sequence. I aim to be the Pixar and
Williams Street of Action Cartoons. In other words, every last line is created in my sketchpad, on
my laptop. Not all the way overseas in another country. That other method strikes me as something
someone would only do if they had the luxury of an animation production staff and budget. I dont
have that. So I have to make up for it. Namely, by self-produced and made production. Asian cant
do that for me. Sorry. Im not really dissing the overseas market. Its justI believe in not relying
on people I dont well to do all my work for me. I want to be like Katsuhiro Otomo. Im pretty sure
he doesnt use assistants for his production designs. And besides, the Japanese community has the
most respect for those who dont blatantly copy them. Even if it is done out of respect. Or at least it
seems like it sometimes.

Hollywood doesnt believe in outsourcing

Literary Writers dont believe in outsourcing
Pixar, Williams Street studio, LucasFilm, and Weta Digital dont believe in outsourcing
Superhero comics dont believe in outsourcing
American music doesnt believe in outsourcing
Animated series pre-production departments dont really believe in outsourcing
Google, Apple, and Microsoft dont believe in outsourcing
And I dont really believe in outsourcing. Not anymore anyway. Its easier just to do it all myself.
Most people who still have their own creative talent left dont believe in outsourcing.

I do still have some leftover local American pride. I havent sold out completely you know.

P a g e | 19
Does it really that that much honor, courage, humility, nobility respect to be awarded posthumously.
Youd think someone would want to award me in THIS lifetime.
I dont know what will happen to my work after my life ends. It might outlive me by quite a few years.
Im human. But my work is not.
My career is a Journey. It doesnt pay money. It pays in pages of sketches. And in paper stacks full of
scripts and comics filled with ink and pencil lead.
I apparently cant scan all of the production notebooks and folders for Mono Comics anymore. Honestly,
I didnt think this far ahead. I never would have guessed Id eventually make it to 500 pages in a big trade
paperback-like stack. Now its impossible to scan all my page, because no one is assisting in making it
happen. Im not that bad. I dont even know if Im going to be able to self-publish it all when all is said
and done. It might just remain a stack of papers one third of a foot tall or taller for the rest of my life. Its
approaching phonebook size. I wouldnt be surprised if I end up with 1,000 to 1,300 pages of art and
script, or a lot more, by 2020. The density and thickness of a book, Stephen King once said in On
Writing, is always a great indicator of how much work and labor the author has put into its construction. I
like to think the results of my creative planning speak for themselves.
Im making an epic. Of literary proportions. But Im afraid neither therapists, people I know, nor family,
nor the internet can or ever will be able to help me on this Quest. Only I can save me. And I shall be
saved by science and work. Im part Asian. Is it really such a good idea to have western medical people
and mental health scientists picking apart my brain like this? They never do stuff like this in Asia. I envy
them quite a bit. Mostly because they dont face any scrutiny the way I do.
Im shelving Parallax. At least for now. For now, I need to live my life and just let my manuscript sit
there, in my writing desk drawer. Maybe if I hide it Ill want to work on it again. This might be a good
way to teach myself some patience.
Im beginning to resent the idea of multitasking. I dont think its as good for my life as I used to think it
was. Youre twice as slow, you take twice as long to do things, and it increases your stress and reduces
your health. Ill put it this way: Multitasking is evil.
People dont even want me to save up money I already own, in my own name. The playing field will
change if I have money. People would still resist me, but for different reasons. Thats why the big wigs
are afraid of me. Theres still opposition even when Im succeeding.
So Ive really become a joke to America, eh? Just a big joke, right? Hmm. Why dont I agree with that?
Honestly, women have no place on the battlefield. I hate and despise the idea of girl warriors and girl
fights. All girl fighters can ever really do is talk trash. Theyre actually quite weak. You go up against
male opponents who have no mercy like my neighbors, and youll get raped or killed or something.
Something bad will happen to you if youre a girl whos trying to fight like a man. God did not bestow
women with the ability to actually fight. The only people girls can actually beat up are the male
weaklings, and thats not saying much. Girls will always be helpless and unable to fight in reality. The
whole girl fighter concept is just that: A concept. Its not reality.

P a g e | 20
Its Friday, and Andrews here doing what he does best: annoy everyone into wishing him ill!
Im going to use my homemade montage filmmaking DVD-R prototype as part of my inventors portfolio
and presentation to the clients I sell my new tech inventions to. I just tell them the truth, that YouTube
used my invention without compensating me, it became a hit around the world, and I never got credit for
it. Thats proof enough to help me sell new ideas. Who needs a business card when you have the tech
presentation I have? Everything thats been used against me in the business world, I can use as proof Im
that good. Whether its the theft of my identity (identity theft protection) or tech companies exploiting my
tech without fair compensation (proof of how much money my work can make for you if you buy from
me). And if people are going to draw my character online without asking me, Ill use their drawings as
part of my influence portfolio. Sucks being you. Especially if you steal from me.
From now on, Im asking for the market value of all my assets.
Im no longer in the business of competing in animation. Its all for children. I have yet to see someone
prove otherwise. Animation is such a wretched, stupid, childish medium that just about no one other than
greedy business men make money in. What at filthy line of work. Its fucking evil. Animations for tards.
I fucking hate animation. Ive out grown it, and anime as well. Im so glad Im not relying on it to make
me money. I have talent, but not enough to earn a living. And I dont have enough connections in
animation or a big enough network to make any money it in it either. Its a waste of time even being
interested in in. Science is far superior to animation.
If the comics and animation industry is indeed hypercompetitive, career suicide, and humiliating as
the horrific tabloids would imply, I see no reason to waste my time, energy, and genius on a suicide
mission. NOTHING is worth that amount of suffering. Fuck that. If its never going to pay Im not going
to get involved in it. For a medium thats perceived by the public as happy and cheerful the kids
aspiring to work in it sure are a rude and miserable bunch. Truth is, Im not gonna work wih or for
assholes that big, with egos that big. Not gonna do it. Fuck it. I dont have to deal with that. No ones
forcing me to, so I quit. You made me quit. Thanks. Im through with animation and comics. Waste of
time. A fraudulent get rich quick scheme. I refuse to work with jerks, people like that. Rats of all shapes
and sizes and whatnot. Theyre just going to have to fend for themselves. Im not going to be their laptop
and let them ruin the entire industry then attempt to blame their epic failures on me. Because they are epic
failures. Im not going to work with asshole epic failures with big ugly mugs and mouths.
In some ways, it seems like science doesnt give a shit about your personal life. There is no science
paparrazi or rumor mill. Just science. Thats why I dont like animation anymore. It actually gives a shit
about your private and personal life, and Im afraid I find that unacceptable. Thats the politics of
animation and anime. Ill never be ready to deal with. So I quit. I gave it up. Im over-emotional and Ill
never win in a public display of personality like that. If more girls were engineers, that would probably
change, but there are no major female engineers. All the better for me.
It really is too bad I wasted so much of my life in the arts. Im finally pursuing a real job. About time. Ive
finally found something I can do, thats not art. I got almost nothing but criticism with my art anyway.
Fuck that.

P a g e | 21
Powerful and notable tech inventors and entrepreneurs, as well as animation power players, for the most
part, are not really all that young. Only about 1% of them are: The Mark Zuckerbergs, Jhonen Vasquezes,
and YouTube inventors of the world.

P a g e | 22
1

Chapter 52
(Vista)

P a g e | 23
2

Sunday, March 06, 2011

I think the consensus in animation and anime is hes too powerful to work in our medium. So
Im headed elsewhere. Somewhere less cutthroat than media.
Certainly glad Im not working in entertainment anymore. What a nightmare.
At YouTube everyone just follows and copies what I do. Its not really challenging anymore, and
there isnt as much innovation or originality as there was in the beginning.
I dont LOOK like a millionaire. Do I? Therefore I am not a millionaire.
Millionaire Low-Life:
Could Steven Spielberg still be as successful of a filmmaker if Viacom did as many on screen
attacks and parodies of him and his life as they do to me? Or is it simply hes off limits because
hes not on the internet. Ill bet that is the case. Im up against impossible odds. Ill never win
this way. Oh well. I think the odds are stacked against me a lot more than they were for Walt
Disney and Steven Spielberg. No one openly opposed them. People make a sport out of opposing
me. Its a lose/lose situation. Im losing on both sides, and people, entrepreneurs are plotting
ways to turn it into spectacle, as the Chinese call it.
In childhood, you have allies everywhere, but when you reach adolescence and adulthood, they
all turn into deranged, envious enemies, waiting to stab you in the back. Im surrounded by
enemies. Somehow I lost all my allies.
God Talk
TV in general, Television Cable Animation and Anime are False Gods. I dont worship or
glamorize False Gods. Theyre a sin and affront against the Real God. Theyre a threat to his
presence. As a matter of fact, Im no longer devoting my life to animation. Im only going to
devote my life to fitness, meditation, and The Lord-God, Master of the Universe. Im going to
start writing about God more than animation and comics, anime and manga, if I can find enough
things to write about. Art Should Be Used as a Tool of God. Not a Tool of Deception. Thats the
Devils work, and I cant account for that. Its not my responsibility to see after the sinners of
animation. Lord-God is my Savior, and that is enough for me. I derive all of my Power From
God. I am With God, and God is With Me. Doubters can go Fuck Themselves, fucking
Heathens. Burn in Hell for All Eternity. Im not persuaded by the Power of Your Evil. God made
all 50 Chapters of my Journal Possible. I might not have realized it in the beginning, but God
did. And God made the internets power possible, making it possible for people to work from
home, learn more, do better research, and make communication easier. Let the Days Light of
Gods Good Grace shine down on all of us and Dethrone the Darkness that has overtaken
Casselberry and Seminole County, Florida. Bless Florida and help it overcome the Darkness its
harbored at times. I cant be a good, Godly leader without Gods Good Grace Enlightening my

P a g e | 24
3

Pathway to Peace. God has Gifted me with the ability to Vanquish Darkness. When the Satanic
Presence of Brian Johnston Raised Its Horns with his Unholy Authority, I used my intuition to
Vanquish that Powerful Tyranny and Send it Back to the Dark Fiery Pit of sociopathic Hell is
surfaced from. God gives us all the potential for blessings and light, but it is our responsibility to
see that opportunity. Leave it to the media to portray the absence of Money as an evil absence.
Money is the cause of Much Evil. Only through Hardship and Suffering do we become Great and
Holy Beings of Enlightened, Luminosity and Luminous Consciousness. The Devil Punishes us,
Steals from us, ruins our good name, tempts us, insults us, and pits society against us, even when
we are doing the right thing. He, The Devil does all these things because he does not Want us to
become Enlightened, Luminous, and Holy. He is a Dark Presence and Desires for Humanity to
do the same. The Devil is the ultimate Tyrant, Terrorist, and Sociopath. The one with The Most
Power and Evil. He pulls the strings of the smaller groups, as opposed to his entire Army of Hell.
The Devil Aims to Discourage Us, make us Give up in our pursuit of a better life. I believe there
is much God in people like Barack Obama and The Dalai Lama. They are blessed peacemakers,
and I trust in the vision they have for this planet, even when others do not. I find comfort in their
presence. It puts people at ease. It is Gods Will for us to Build a Better World for Ourselves, our
own Wealth, and Health, and a better future. The road to ruin is not always paved with Good
intentions. Sometimes it is paved with Ill Will, Destruction, Deception, Hatred, and Malice.
Every Area Satan is Good At. I can already tell God wants me to pursue Zen Enlightenment and
His Will, as well as His Message. We need it now more than ever. Almost everyone has lost
hope. We must remember that God wants us to have hope. And if the Church stops providing
God for us, as some of it has, we start providing it for ourselves, by seeking our own Inner Power
and Wisdom. For the future, but also for everything else. Meditation and Martial Arts Aerobic,
and prayer, are three ways for me to keep in contact with my Higher Power, my God. I cant
afford to let it roll around unchecked, otherwise it wreaks havoc on my life. Ungodly,
undisciplined self-righteous life can do much damage in this world. No one is immune from this
character flaw. We all have the potential to destroy the world. We all have that kind of ungodly,
beastly power. You dont have to not believe in Science just to believe in God. I believe in both.
Its the Tao of Science, or the Curriculum of God.
I am a supporter of a Drug Free America. I am highly opposed to using drugs of any kind to
solve your problems. And the only reason I take medicine is because Im forced to by my
pharmacist father.
My Influence:
In the beginning I sought to form my own franchise, TV show, and comic book, and so far Ive
founded noneyet nearly all comics, action movies, and animation that been unleashed since the
debut of me and my work is permeated with my design, style, archetypes, and mythos. Im not as
influential as George Lucas or Robert E Howard. But they have entire decades and half-centurys
worth of a head start on me.

P a g e | 25
4

Its not a good idea to go around thinking of yourself as superior to everyone else. Never think
the world revolves around you. The more superior you think you are, the slower you get.
Most of my favorite authors are white and very respected, aside from some black Civil Rights
and Political leaders like Martin Luther King and Barack Obama. But theyre more uncommon
examples. I dont read a book or comic or watch a show/movie because of the authors skin
color. I read/listen to/or watch it because of the content.
Civil Rights is not about skin color. Civil Rights is about equal social treatment of all human
beings, and the realization of that social, cultural, and political vision. When it comes to Civil
Rights, you dont have to be white or have to be black to promote Civil Rights. Civil Rights
relates to equal treatment in general. God took much notice of the Civil Rights Movement in
America in the 1950s and 60s. But now that Barack Obama is president, will inequality continue
to be common place in the future, or is it a case of Mission Impossible (Equal Treatment)
Accomplished because humanity has one or two prominent, permanent, long lasting examples.
Recent True-Power

Civil Rights Movement

God
The President of the United States
The United States of America
Los Angeles
Anime
Manga
Japan
China

My Japanese book from Japan, about anime production designin films like Last Exile, and
the Ghost in the Shell mythosarrived in the mail today. I cant wait to learn perspective
and production design better by studying this books interior artwork. Some of my favorite
Ghost in the Shell layout painting is in this book.
Perspective and Production Designand perspective-based production designare three of
the animation and comics building blocks and curriculum fundamentals, for all animation
produced anywhere, whether in France, L.A., Hong Kong, or Tokyo.
Yknow, maybe my drawings arent so crude after all. I think some rival artists tend to
underestimate not only my originality and creativity, but also the stability of my vision.
My life has turned out to be just as big of an adventure as the stories I write about are.

P a g e | 26
5

Where do I go from here? Maybe I can collaborate with Phil in the future on something.
Something like his most recent short film. I could really see myself being pleased working on
a film like that. Id love to contribute design work to projects like my friend Phils most
recent one. But how can I convince him that Id probably be up to the task? Working with
someone prominent like Phil could lead to paying creative work in the long run, if not work
in general at least. Id love to get hired by him and work on something as ambitious as The
Archer. Working as a character and costume and production designer on Parallax has
prepared me for just such a task, should the opportunity for freelance animation work with
Phil one day ariseif hes still interested in working with me, that is. We get along really
well and hit it off on a social level, so interacting with Phil in an art setting isnt anything
new for me.
All this is actually really fueling my desire to return to work on Mono Comics. If its helped
influence all of this, then I dont see why I shouldnt CONTINUE working on more character
and production designs. Im not defeated. Im just getting started.
Im actually really eager to eventually get my portfolio of production design, costume design,
character design, and fight choreography poses reviewed by Mr. Asian film staff art
director himself: Phil. I think he would have some great insights to offer, in terms of review
and critique of the current state of my artwork.
Currently, Im editing my animation series bible. Trimming some of the fat in the blueprints,
or Series Bible. Im narrowing down which of my drawings Im going to revise, re-envision,
redraw, and present to my animation prospect, client, or buyer. Just finished revising many
of my character designs.
To submit a series bible, you need:

Model Sheets of Main and Secondary Character Cast Designs (Character Design)
Description and (sometimes) Designs of Environment (Production Design)
Episode Outlines for (4, or) 5 Episodes, Spec Scripts
Potential Storyboard Models, (for me, Fight Choreography Sequences too, for the
animation production staff)

My genius for strategy & strategic planning is unparalleled. The planning stage of any anime or
manga project for me is my favorite element of the pre-production and production process of
comics and animation.
Best Strategic Books

Hoshin Planning
The Art of War by Sun Tzu
Strategic Planning For Dummies

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The Laws of Power

Producing Animation
Any book on Japanese/Chinese Business

Studying some books:

For Production Design: The Art of (layout) Ghost in the Shell and Other Films (import)
For Storyboarding and Composition: The Cerebus Guide to Self-Publishing
For Staging and Choreography: Fight Choreography: The Art of Nonverbal Dialogue
The Danger of Instant Recognition
There are definitely a healthy amount of dangers and strategic disadvantages to what is
essentially putting the cart before the horse. Getting too ambitious too early can easily turn you
into a laughing stalk among hipsters and otaku nerds. Just ask my critics. Theyll call you a
pervert. Theyll say you have no real talent. Theyll insult your essential character. Theyll toss
shit at you every time you talk or laugh. But worst of all, theyll make a vain attempt to make the
actual higher-ups distrustful and disrespectful of you. These are the experiences with my younger
and same-age or slightly older peers Ive come across. Anything to stop you from getting ahead
of them, basically. And they dont care how dirty the tactic is. To them, its just a means to an
ends to attempt to make the very people theyre competing against not compete against them. All
thats a crock of shit. It takes a considerable amount of patience and humility to not engage such
people, to tune them and their crazy maker ways out and just forge ahead. Stop looking for
shortcuts and short term goals, and sacrifice your popularity in the here and now to preserve your
good name and reputation in the long haul. There will always be crazy makers, but youll be less
susceptible to them once youve arrived and have been established in the industry for a long
time. Most young adult and teenage fans dont trust or buy upstarts and newcomers. It can be
tempting to want to prove yourself and your validity early on in your career, but thats a suicide
move. You just need to keep your privacy, avoid being too public and political early on, and
keep to yourself and your work, the way most people with future legacies do. No one used to like
Dave Sim, Todd McFarlane, Hiroaki Samura, Toonami, Kurt Cobain, Jhonen Vasquez, Dragon
Ball, or Spielberg in the beginning either. They all had to prove themselves over time. Instant
recognition is not something to strive for if you want any kind of real staying power. The path to
real success is a long and winding road, with many pitfalls, no real guarantees, and no one to
trust, anywhere. Its easiest just to play fair and have a lot of patience, as well as do wholesome
work every day, and train/practice every day for the future. There are no overnight success
stories at the very top. This journey will drive lesser mortals insane with impatience and a feeling
of no appreciation or recognition. They dont have what it takes, people who arent willing to
play fair.

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Unfortunately, in my case, DA and Adsense ended up being more of a false start and
unsuccessful shortcut for me. Just because DeviantART works with some manga artists, and just
because Adsense made Google the richest company in the world, doesnt mean theyre going to
work for me. It was an honest mistake. I saw the success of others, and I assumed too much. The
internet is not a good way to get rich. I refuse to rely on the internet to supplement my income.
Im done with that shtick. Unfortunately, if the internet sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
If you ask me, one of the fastest ways Ive found to succeed in big business and earn billions or
millions of dollars, is to know things no one else knows about (secret insider knowledge) and to
do things no one else is able to do (insider tactics). If you have a talent only you know how to do,
that can 90% of the time become your brand, market monopoly, and niche. That is the easiest
way to get rich. In other words, keep trade secrets, and keep them really, really well. If youre
the only one that knows How, youre more likely to be light years ahead of your peers.
Things to teach myself:

Fight Choreography for Animation

How to be a Showrunner for Animation

There are some things I havent taken into account enough as a would-be producer. For instance,
where is my financing going to come from? Who in Los Angeles or Atlanta is going to put up
their own money to finance Parallax as a real show? And how well will I be able to handle,
coordinate, delegate, facilitate and lead any and all day-to-day operations of a show? All these
things must be accounted for. All my staff, crew, and cast must be accounted for, and a lot more.
The format is TV animation, of the action-adventure variety. The process of the animation is
international and collaboratively influenced heavily by Asian subcontracting studios. What is my
experience and expertise for this role? Ill be taking an active role of not just a coordinator,
facilitator, and showrunner of my project, but Ill also take an active participation in the creative
production, pre-production, and post-production process(es). All day to day operations, the core
team, as well as financing, budgeting, and schedules, Im probably going to have a hand in. Im
not good at those last three things yet, as I dont have experience in the financing, budgeting,
scheduling, and post-production areas. Ive got experience as an artist, a screenwriter, a script
formatter, conceptual design, character design, storyboarding (or comics) and storytelling,
sequential art, and online marketing as well as PR.
Production Aspects I could likely oversee:

The Writing Department

The Pre-Production Department
Key Frame and In-Between Animation Department
Subcontractor Coordination Department
Storyboard Department

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ADR and Voiceover Department

The Directors, Voice Actors, other Producers,
Background and Layout, Ink & Paint, CGI,
Color Coordination
Marketing, Organization, Budgeting, Financing
Day-to-Day Operations at the Studio
Hiring and/or Firing of Key and Transient Staff
Scheduling
Quantifying Production Output
Editing

I dont have a strong enough production plan yet. So far, I dont know how Im going to turn the
concept in my notebooks into a full fledged day-to-day animation studio operation, with people
collaborating with me, working for me, and everything. How am I going to convince my
potential staff this is an idea worth doing. Whats going to convince them to help me realize this
dream and write and coordinate, and time, and construct, and animate it? How many pages and
drawings will go into the production. Animators have to draw a TON of sketches and drawings.
Storyboard artists, production designers, and character designers also have to do a TON of
drawings.
Thats going to take some skill as a Builder on my part
My script, storyboards, layouts, and character designs need to be approved by not only me and
my staff, but also the higher ups. The cast and creative team need to be hired if the project is ever
greenlit.
Subcontracting studio and an American pre-production and production studio need to be in place
Also, What are my production priorities? This needs to be established in the future.
Im actually the main representative of the Parallax Project and Production Committee. And
thats not going to change if it succeeds at being developed officially and openly, unless the
higher ups see otherwise.
I sit at the apex and center of the Parallax Production Committee. Since its my idea, should it
become a hit, my abilities and presence are going to be on display 24/7. My nuts are on the line.
Mono is essentially me in terms of the way he thinks. Hes strong, and a leader, just like me. But
Im not on camera. That honor is reserved for him. Hes the star. He and Steve.
Im going to need to work on my direct behavioral, etiquette, and communication skills, for
when I AM in charge of a staff. My staff needs to stay informed of the status of our production.
Theyre putting a lot of work into our crazy dream, and they deserve to be kept informed.

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Take it from a so-called expert. Just sitting around talking about wanting to produce animation
isnt going to make it happen. It takes planning, preparation, self-education, and eventually,
execution.
Episode Idea:
Rescue Mission: Defying Death
Mono and Shadow Op 7 are dispatched to the Southeast Chronis Region after it is hit by an
enormous and deadly natural disaster, of which is one of the worst New-Earths history has ever
seen, to help survivors and console families of the deceased.
I was born to do pre-production animation work. Be it film, music videos, or TV series. My preproduction bible (my first one, the one for Parallax) is one of the strongest there is, professional
or otherwise. Its quite a strong configuration, in my opinion.
If I dont eventually get a job in animation or comics, Im going to be sitting on my mothers
couch drawing lifeless sketches for the rest of my life. Its life and death with my life. If I fail,
Im dead. Sooner or later, if I dont get a job of some kind, Im dead. Thats really all there is to
it.
One major flaw in my early thinking was to neglect the intermediate level young adulthood steps
of my plan. i.e. If this happens 10 years from now, I will react by actually working hard. Ill
never get there if I dont work hard now! The only way to be productive down the road when
opportunity knocks, is to create and initiate your own opportunity by working hard 24/7, here
and now, not 10 years from now. In a way, its not just a flawed form of thinking. Its general
procrastination as well, and who needs that. Dont put the cart before the horse. Dont get ahead
of yourself. Just work on your spec material. If you dont have that to begin with, no one is going
to work with you.
Good gravy! My family looks HIDEOUS in the spotlight! Just like me. Doesnt bother me
though. But the thing is, I dont mix business and family. Mixing business and family is a recipe
for destruction and career suicide/disaster if your family is anything like mine.
If all goes well, Ill be donating a certain percentage of my next month social security paycheck
to one of the Red Cross (.org) Charities to help Earthquake and Tsunami disaster survivors and
probably families in Japan. And then Im finally going to order the storyboard book. I care about
Japan, and I dont just want to buy anime and manga to support that good nation. I hope they
dont mind me sending money to their relief efforts.
Im getting better at this Manifesting Mind-To-Matter thing. This power, to make many things I
think about real. For instance, Im now a screenwriter of a very well written script. I seem to be
on my way to catching up to the amount of screenwriting Yoshiyuki Tomino, Aaron McGruder,

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and Savin-Yeatmen Eiffel have done! A year or months ago (check other journal, No. 11), I set
to the task of teaching myself how to become a great screenwriter one day and writing a killer
screenplay for television, and after the printing of my incomplete spec script, Shadow Walker, I
seem to be well on my way. Thats the first real original script I ever wrote, and its got
everything: Mystery, intrigue, suspense, violence, deep thoughts, philosophy, spiritual
monologues. Through sheer will power alone, my dream of becoming a screenwriter has become
realized. Now I am. Only 90 to 100 more scripts to go until I reach Savin Yeatman-Eiffels
Level.
I also made a vow to increase the proficiency of my skill as a storyboard artist and production
designer as well. Now that Ive gotten started in those areas (with Comics Vol. I & II as
storyboards) (and sketches of cityscapes as production design), Im slowly (but definitively)
building something out of nothing. Its making something appear out of thin air. Making a
formatted project out of nothing. Like an entire magic trick. Manifestation of objects from thin
air, like a magician (Scripts, layout, storyboard-comics)
For once, all the planning Ive done in the past seems to be working out in my favor.
Despite the horror of what is occurring in Japan on countless level, Im going to charge ahead
and read my astrology reading here:
Astrology Reading: Learn lessons from esteemed mentors, teachers and guides. Hard work and perseverance can
help lead you upward to the executive penthouse. Don't do work that someone else could take credit for. Let things
take their course. Let go and let other people do the driving while you sit back and enjoy the ride. You're in the middle
of a three-ring circus -- though it may feel calm where you sit.

Strategic Goals:

Design and Draw with Pencils.

Develop Mono Proposal
Write a Script
Draw a Finished Ink/Pain Layout
Draw and Format Model Sheets
Sketch More Fighting Poses
Draw Comics-Storyboards (Both Comics and Storyboards Combined)
Patent Inventions
Edit and Complete Montage Film
Develop My Career
Save Up Social Security on Debit
Stop Watching Television in Middays when nothings on for hours on end
Attain Funding, and a Budget

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Get Hired by Someone to Do Something Important and Creative

Be the Boss. Find a Team of Employees who Want to Work For me, With Skill

End. Thats the end of it.

I have tons of self-discipline, discipline, willpower, and fortitude stored away, not only at my
disposal, but also in reserve! I am an artist. I am a writer and screenwriter. I am a storyboard and
comics artist. I am a production designer. And Im a character designer and illustrated fight
choreographer. And when I say I am this, what I really mean is I have tons of power in this
area. I dont just have power and will power in these areas. I have fortified reserve of power in
each and every one of these areas as well, just sitting around, waiting to be used at my disposal.
If spec creative work was money, Id already have $1 million.
No matter which industry I inevitably embrace and integrate into, its still going to be a matter of
me convincing people with more funding and influence than me to say yes to me. Im nothing
unless I get funding and backing from corporations. They can play JMs Proxy Publicity
Cheerleader all they like, but eventually Im going to need them to actually say Yes to me on
some level. Otherwise if they say no to my ideas, Ill know theyve only been stringing me
along and playing games with me. Its either Yes, You can, Joe!, or No, You cant Joe! with
my potential employers. All this PR nonsense is getting on my nerves because it means nothing
compared to getting someone to actually grant me permission to work on my ideas with them.
Im sick of all this cryptic signals garbage. If someone REALLY endorses me, theyre going to
grant me some form of official permission to work for them on my ideas for a real career, not
just a play career. Im sick of playing games. You KNOW who I am, so why are you still
playing and toying with me as opposed to working alongside me to bring my various visions to
life. If you really support me, you will employ me regardless of what critics claim about me. You
already KNOW what theyre saying and what theyve said about me. No, realistically speaking,
you can either accept those criticism and employ me regardless of the immense criticism, be
truly brave and bare with me, OR you can back out an an inopportune time and leave me open to
the same vulnerability thats been here all along. If the latter is the case, why string me along
with games just to reject me ultimately when you already are aware of my ideas to begin with? I
dont understand the politics of new media I guess. Why is everyone so indirect? Why did
everyone stop saying yes and no. If Im ever the boss, I plan on using direct communication.
I REALLY want to break out in regular comics and regular animation, so I can finally quit that
shitty WCN site. What a ripoff. They wont let you delete your account on WCN. God Ive come
to hate that site. This is not how I want Mono and New Earth to get out there! By shitty
webcomics?? Fuck this man. I hate the underground now. The WCN site is making it that much
harder to sell something to Hollywood.
Horoscope for today/yesterday:

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Finally, you are on a stable career track. Stability is what you've wanted
Its true. I do want stability. And I do feel my career is finally getting stable, ever since I dumped
the internet (girls).
My first spec script ever, Variety Houris complete. Sitting pretty at 30 pages, printed through
Lulus digital website. Ill be ordering a copy in the next few weeks, as soon as its finished
printing and I get the money.
1st Script. Script No. 1: Variety Hour (God Voice, Shadow Walker, The Phantom, and Mono
Talk, Mono Fights)
Pretty good. Makes me want to write 20 or 40 scripts more.
Each of my scripts is going to be 30 pgs per script. Its been decided. Screenwriting is getting
easier for me! I might end up a professional screenwriter after all! This is what Im talking
about!
Content vs. Form
Screenwriting: Ive already mastered screenwriting form. My scripts are properly formatted
on at least 40-50 pages, all perfectly formatted.
Its the content of screenwriting I have not mastered. My content doesnt entirely make sense
yet. For now, much like my journals, Im filling the form.
Sequential Art, Storyboards, Layout, Character Design, Story: I have the content for these,
but not so much the form.

In literature, I have mastered form, but not content.

In Art, I have mastered content, but not form.

Areas that need work:

Screenwriting: Content
Art/Design: Form

Finished-&-Binded Scripts:
1. Shadow Walker: The Script (18 pgs.)
2. Variety Hour (30 pgs.)
Storyboards in Development:
1. Comics Vol. I

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2. Comics Vol. II
Clearly, time is money. Or more specificallyMy timeis money.
Some people are actually very impressed with my reputation for keeping my power and
influence a secret from the public. Theyre actually impressed with something I do so easily for
the most part. They admire my character for it, and my ability to take it all in stride, despite
possible massive PR and marketing discrimination and racism on Americas part.
Am I on my way to becoming Otomo / Yoshiyuki Tomino meets Yuen Woo-Ping yet? Well, I
guess Id better review my script print out, scan it, and find out! Exciting! Unfortunately, the
reality of Hollywood and Tokyo is, writing, literature, and story doesnt matter half as much to
Easterners as it does to us Westerners. Story and literary merits dont matter to Asian
storytellers. Not when it comes to action. Hate to sound politically incorrect.
Finished the first draft of my first full-length fiction bookIts 73 pages long.
Variety Hour: The Manuscript Vol. 1
Scary accurate horoscope for today. It reads:
You're tired of the secrets. You've had it with furtive glances, masked emotions, clandestine meetings and anything
else that even remotely smacks of behind-the-scenes dealings. Enough, already. You want it all out in the open,
regardless of what the neighbors -- or anyone else -- have to say about it. In fact, the more public the announcement,
the better. Hoo, boy. Better warn all interested parties before you tap that water glass with your knife.

Im glad it brought up my neighbors. I was wondering WHAT people other than me and my
family thought of them. I think theyre a bunch of fucking assholes mostly.
The tradition of the old power of the norm and status quo is slipping away. Ive been fighting the
old and/or current status quo for a while now:
Old Status Quo

Hollywod
Disney
Viacom
Sitcoms
Superheroes
3-D Animation
VHS
Walt Disney
Stephen Spielberg
Microsoft
Classic Animation

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New Status Quo

Black and White Comics

Genre-Benders
Hong Kong
Japanese Anime
Co-Productions
International
Asian
Action
Manga
DVD
Martial Arts
Bruce Lee
American Manga
Web Comics
McFarlane and Jhonen Vasquez
YouTube
The Web 2.0
Steve Blum
Google
Scienc-Fantasy
Rap-Rock
Cartoon Network
Pokemon
Twitter
Blogging

Do I really spend Too much time talking, and not enough creating (drawing/writing)?
Im actually living inside my imagination. I dont have a physical manifestation. No wonder my
brain poops out book after book and comic book after comic book. Theres a whole and universe
living and manifesting inside my imagination. Driving is a Living Hell in my universe. God
sends me to hell every time my parents escort me to therapists or art lessons, which are a waste
of time, when I think about how much of that time I could use to continue living in my
imagination. No one but me see my imagination, other than when I put it in books, art, fiction,
and comics
DeviantART is the perfect example of what kind of artistic illusion of grandeur you can achieve
with only a few artists and a near non-existent budget. Beautiful visionary character design and
production design work. Particularly with Japanese and European artists. Not much I can do but
sit back and watch in fear as the Homeland Collapses, as no one really knows why.

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You Know! Katsuhiro Otomo and Gainax arent just creative powers. Theyre an overwhelming
Force of Nature. Kind of like some people I know (like the guy with glasses and dirty short black
hair. That guys powerful!). When youre a force of nature, when youre Pinnacle Project is
unleashed, its a force of nature. But at what cost! And here I thought Williams Street was
powerful.
Failures Lessons
When it comes to anime or animation production, or even comics and manga, no matter what
kind of artist you are, one rule holds true. Confidence is manifested in competence. The most
confident employees and workers are the most competent. Theyre the ones who get put in
charge to do everything: The James Camerons, Spielbergs, and Katsuhiro Otomos of the
world. The gods in my eyes, because theyre the most competent. I cant do everything the way
they do all the time on every project. Im not as talented as they are. Ive already made the
attempt to do everything myself, the so-called right way. It exists in the form of a little
webcomics bomb called End Times, the crappiest most unprofessional comic in the world. And
ultimately my Ultimate Earliest Major Failure that taught me a priceless, valuable lesson. You
cant do everything yourself for very long, with any kind of real endurance. I couldnt handle
being in charge.
Like at Webcomics Nation. Ill admit, I failed.

Some people thought it looked fancy but there were countless technical flaws,
I got distracted by porno online,
no one wanted to look at it
The people that did look, did nothing but belittle, insult, and make fun of it. Big
managing and DIY fail.
I liked it, but a lot of people didnt. They found the interior art style crude and
pretentious, not real, I wasnt trying. When I was really trying harder than I ever
had before, in private
To say nothing of all the production and publicity delays, media disasters, tasteless
parodies and porn rip-offs.
Just a full on disaster. Development Hell.
It never made any money.
And meanwhile it destroyed my family and social life.
It was like my first stay at AiFL in webcomics form.
I just remember everyone online sort of viewing me with a lot of skepticism, hatred,
envy, and suspicion. They were critical of my intent of making an auteur comic.

Im not going to make that mistake again. If I ever do draw on TV or film projects, its not
going to see the light of day. My crew can take it home. Im just glad the End Times pitch

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development phase is over and I can move on to hopefully better things. Its a poor example of
not only my will power, but also my marketing abilities.
Writing is easy! Writing is the most natural feeling in the world to me, whether fiction or
nonfiction, whether screenwriting or novel writing, whether first person or third person. I just
love it. It makes my day. I write all day, and I write all night. I never really do stop writing.
Someone call an exorcist because Im possessed with my muse. Because my life has become so
chaotic, its powered up my muse, and as a result Im like a machine, like a word factory with its
conductor in hyper-drive. No amount of insults, discouragement, belittlement, slander, or
opposition and rejection could ever make my literary willpower falter. My muse is as powerful
as my genius for strategy and engineering.
Apparently Google seems to be at war with some of the TV industry, despite revolutionizing
how TV gets made and seen. Well, theyre at odds with TV, and Microsoft.
Screenwriting has not be hammered into my subconscious over the course of the last decade as
journaling has. Its a conscious effort, like reading a book or something. It takes just a little more
mindfulness than stream-of-consciousness writing and gesture drawings. Not too tough. But it
can be shut on and shut off, much like a light switch. It is an energy that can be channeled, like
sketching, reading, or third person narrative authoring.
You know, JOE isnt such a bad guy, once you get to know him. In private, hes actually quite
timid and jovial. Not at all a bully.
My creative nature as a fantasy storyteller is similar to that of George Lucas and Tim Burton. To
further explain my nature, Ill just say I dont rely exclusively on visuals and art to full
demonstrate my creative vision of iconography. A lot of it is intangible concepts and words.

If I die, I want the YouTube staff to lock my SAB account, and freeze it in time as a part of
internet history, and disable comments. After I die, if I have my way, it will have no comments
after I die, and no video updates. In a way, I consider it a way of preserving my place in internet
history.
But for now, since Im still alive that just looks a littledark. For now, lets not go there, shall
we?
Its truly mind boggling that I managed to meet David Lucas, through my comp, seemingly win
his good graces, have him compliment my project, and actually get to collaborate with him a
little. The guy is everywhere and invisible all at the same time. He truly is a ghost. Hes like a
real life ghost! He moves like the wind in the eyes of Hollywood. Peter Cullen acts in a similar
way. I wish I could be that stealthy. Maybe I can be, later on down the line. My spec scripts first
draft is finished, David Lucas and Phil Ferretti might one day be able to work with me on paying

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projects, I know the Art Director and Supervisor of a local Chinese 3-D animation film. The
house is quiet. Things really seem to be looking up for me. This makes me quite happy. All my
ducks are in a row.
Phil Ferretti actually got to work with a Chinese animation studio on the Archer and the Suns.
Once he gets back from where hes visiting, hes going to write me back again, to talk to me
through email about my questions about his production process.
I have returned: To watching DVDs and Roku, and ripping DVDs to my hard drive. I had taken a
break from it, but now I feel I want to expand my collection.
As soon as Jo Ann, my alleged therapist found out Im pursuing writing full time now, she
bombarded me with guidance telling me Youre going to need an education in that now that
thats what youre doing. Why, Ive started to wonder. So the students there in the class can rip
off and rape my best ideas, Brian Johnston style? I dont think so. As long as I write, aint gonna
happen. You either are a writer or youre not. Sure, you practice, work at it, learn the format, and
develop your ideas over long periods of time, but other writers, generally are only interested in
stealing your best ideas. In some ways, its exactly like art, what with commercial plagiarism,
which many have tried on me (even fewer successfully so).
If I can get steady work as a staff writer in TV on some show or operation, whether its with a
major studio and talent, or anywhere as just about any type of writing I can do really, that could
mean a steady paycheck. My scripts never really hit the internet like my art did at one point. I
learned my lesson from art. If you want to put your work on the internet, and youre only
moderately talented like me, get ready to be ignored and rejected, and get ready for no one to
notice you or compliment you, if youre in my kind of situation. I got noticed, but not by
desirable people. Just a bunch of freaks. I aint down with that, no sir-ree. If I write, I do it
Hollywood style. But the thing is, if theyre going to pay me, they need to pay me for actually
getting and doing work, writing scripts, and devising storylines, treatments, and outlines. None
of that get paid to sit on your ass and do nothing for months on end crap. Thats not a good
look. This isnt the lottery. Its a job. I dont want to get paid for not working. I want to get paid
according to my writing output, with a possible exception of the deal of creator money.
Working Spirit
For my visuals, I study Shaw Brothers, anime, and LucasFilm projects.
For my script production (i.e. my entire current studio production) I study anime, FUNimation
shows, the Shaw Brothers studio system they devised in the 1950s, and Fantasy and ScienceFantasy Pulp Literature for my storytelling and Script Outline Dynamics. This is how stories
should be told. This is how I want my stories, the ones I watch, to be told. This is not a public
statement though, but yes, my production process does strive for intensity, spectacle, grace, and

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dynamics. Everything Great Action Screenwriting should be! Things are as they should be in my
corner of the globe, if you ask me.
Its a real joy writing outlines. Sometimes it more fun to do that than writing the script itself
When I took my first and only community college film class that was part of their program,
which had been praised by Steven Spielberg, when I first started taking the class, though I did
get an A, B, or C in the class and passed the class, there was a HUGE misunderstanding between
me and my classmates and professor at the beginning. I cried at my desk when it happened, and
couldnt hold back the tears coming from my eyes, I was so happy to be taking a Spielberg
Approved film program class. But unfortunately, my classmates and professor did not know I
was crying because I thought I had made it finally at the time. But the whole class thought I
was having an emotional breakdown of depression or something, and treated me as such. I
became a college laughing stock at that point. In an ironic twist, that class is also where I met
one of the worst turning points of my life, Brian Johnston, who also misunderstood my tears.
And basically portrayed me as a meltdown crybaby online from that point on.
Since then I have never cried out of excitement. Ever. Not since that class.
Ce La Vi
And WOW.
The public REALLY hates the way I look, primarily because whenever someone tries to be me on
TV, they never use makeup or use clean wigs or even wash their own hair. The makeup
departments at a LOT of marketing and PR divisions in Hollywood have gone to GREAT
LENGTH to make me appear authentically disheveled and dirty by apparently never, EVER
putting appealing makeup or clean facial hair
The result? Im uglier to the general public and my looks are more despised by in-crowd girls
than even Green Days public image was when they shot the Dookie album longview video and
did publicity photos with no real makeup, therefore appear just as I do now disheveled, ugly,
normal, and dirty. It truly is tricking people that way and messing with my public persona and
perception. Ive got the disheveled mugshot look purely because Hollywood studios choose
never to use makeup or hairstylists in their Hollywood hair and makeup department for their
method-style actors, in an attempt to delude the public into thinking Hollywood gets me
because they only choose to make me look repulsive on camera. I know all about that hair and
makeup manipulation trick. If you dont get hair and makeup done in that department, and go on
camera in a Hollywood marketing or film/TV camera shot, youre going to look REPULIVE.
Almost every major player in Hollywood worships Japanese and Hong Kong action cinema. And
yet no one in America gets to see the English translation of the scripts Hong Kong and Tokyo
wrote. What are we worshipping exactly? We havent even seen these story scripts (any of the

P a g e | 40
19

hundreds of them) that are supposedly so great and harder to write than American screenplays.
Every major director and writer praises Asian screenwriting, and yet no ones seen a single script
in America by Tomino or Shaw, but are those same Hong Kong and Tokyo based writers of
action cinema really as good as power players as high up as Spielberg, Tarantino, and Robert
McKee say they were? Is Asian action sequence scriptwriting really so Amazing and better than
American action screenwriting when the reality is, for fight scenes all the Hong Kong / Japanese
screenwriters wrote is they battle or they fight? Is it instead more of a case of the emperor
wearing no clothes? Its very possible that I already write scripts for action stories, with more
detail in the action sequence description than Yoshiyuki Tomino or the Shaw Brothers writing
staff did in the 60s or the 70s-80s. Its also possible that the reason the Chinese and Japanese
action scripts arent show to Americans because they arent as literary or impressive on the page
as American scripts. Why else would they be concealing their scripts? Because theyre better?
Doubtful. More often than not, in Hollywood when production work is concealed, its for 1 of 2
reasons: Its either far superior and the studios is terrified of people plagiarizing it. OR, its far
inferior to the majority, and overhyped. Im guessing its the latter. I cant help but think of all
the Japanese song lyrics and subtitles with ENGRISH in them. Why would the scripts and
screenplays be any different?
Heres the thing about Asian scripts: Theyre often action packed and spectacular obviously, but
hardly ever verbose. Verbosity is not a characteristic of Southeast Asian screenwriting. However,
verbosity IS a trait of American and European screenwriting.
To write action scripts for anime that are verbose in description but intense and dynamic in
action is something Im pretty sure hasnt really been done a lot. Im bringing those two separate
cultural elements together, which means, on some level, Im not just making up content,
description, and dialogue, Im designing a new script format in many ways, integrating Eastern
and Western screenwriting elements. The Matrix and Kill Bill can be verbose, and they were two
of the only scripts to ever do that type of screenwriting before I did. Im designing a
screenwriting formatting prototype, blueprints for how numerous scripts in future Hollywood
will be written. When Tarantino and George Lucas busted out onto the screenwriting Hollywood
scene with Star Wars and Pulp Fiction, they changed the name of the game. Suddenly, everyone
was trying to write scripts just like them. Everyone in Hollywood wanted to be a George Lucas
or a Quentin Tarantino in the 90s.
Content: Star Wars, Conan, Anime, Shaw Wastelands (Short Fiction), Book of Revelation
Description: Conan, Pulp Fantasy, Elric, Star Wars, Anime, Frank Frazetta, John Woo, Shaw,
Wastelands (short fiction), Book of Revelations
Dialogue: Anime, Tarantino, Stephen King, John Woo

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20

I write my outlines the same way I would a pulp-fantasy story for a Robert E. Howard/Moorcock
fiction anthology.
New Genre: Sword & Planet: Kung-Fu Apocalypse
Well! how bout that?
Literary, and Very Revolutionary.
About Gundams Yoshiyuki Tomino:
Actually, I havent really read a single script written by Yoshiyuki Tomino. He could be a
horrible writer for all I know. Thats not entirely the reason I admire him. It has more to do with
his status as a screenwriter, his success, the longevity of his staying power (hes has one of the
longest running careers in anime), and his revolutionary abilities to kick-start a genre like mecha.
Actually, Im my favorite writer. I probably like my own writing better than Tominos, but I hate
to admit that about myself. Everyone would disagree with me if I admitted my opinion about
Tomino publicly. It sounds vain to say you are your own favorite artist or writer, even when you
are. So you pick others who are more famous to fill the humility void. Now Ken Wilber, Stephen
King, and Sartre: Those men can write. Ive read their work, and unlike Tomino, I admire it for
the actual writing. Sounds kind of silly in some ways, yes?
Elements of Martial Arts Film

Poses
Anatomy
Rhythm
Motion
Storytelling

Im becoming a LOT more proficient at this production design thing. Now THIS is what anime
should look like, in terms of production design. I edited those two images together to create
something very science-fantasy like. I like Jedi, and I like New-Earth, so I combined the two.
Now this is what Im talking about! This is the kind of Production Design department Im going
to make an effort to factor in to Parallax/End Times/New-Earth.
A revolution in modern Western-hemisphere American Action Animation is has begun, and is
well underway. And it all started with the following TV shows: Batman, Aeon Flux, Spawn,
Samurai Jack, Invader Zim, Teen Titans, Avatar the Last Airbender, and Star Wars: The Clone
Wars. It used to be that Japanese animators and animation production committees and crews in
Japan would emulate, mimic and reverse engineer American cartoons like Jonny Quest, The
Flinstones, and early Hannah-Barbera and Fleischer Superman cartoons, in an effort to make
their cultural mark on the history and production process of animation. It succeeded, and what it

P a g e | 42
21

evolved into was one of the biggest revolutions Television broadcasting and the world animation
community (&) industry has ever seen in the history of time. The Japanese had a competitive
edge and got really far ahead of us in the creative, hyperdetailing, and storytelling departments
for a good long while. At least 1 to 2 decades of consistent progress, improvement, and
commercial prosperity. That would be anime. But now, slowly but surely America, Europe, and
even China are rising from the ashes of defeat and gradually evolving to match and go beyond
the highest level of animation production it can reach, both in 3-D digital and in 2-D traditional
and hand drawn, the old fashioned way. The result: A new golden age of American TV
production, which has already started, thanks in part to people like George Lucas, Titmouse, The
Avatar Committee, Williams Street, and on The Hub: Mitsuha Hongo (Deltora Quest) and Jeff
Kline (Transformers: Prime; GI Joe: Renegades). The shows mentioned in the last paragraph Ive
written here have reached a whole new level of innovation and quality, and its partially
influenced by my own animation and storyboarding production work Ive done in the last 10 or
so years on Parallax, with characters like Mono and Jen James, and otherworldly fantasy realms
like New-Earth. This new kind of Action timing, design, and production value mastery has often
been influenced by my very own vision and style. Because of people like me and the names Ive
mentioned in this paragraph, American animation, at least in terms of visual quality and designdetailing, and timing, editing, camera shots, writing, filmmaking now actually is able to compete
on the same level as Japanese anime in one sense. Many actually call what we do in America
with shows like Avatar and Batman anime already even though I dont call it anime anymore.
Id rather call American TVs current best crop of anime-ish animation its done in a long time
what I should call it: The way American animation always should have been made: Like Star
Wars. Like Conan. Like Blade Runner and Ghost in the Shell, or Akira: Just like a big budget
Hollywood live action, action film that took 4 times as long to make, except were making it on
1/10 the size of a Hollywood budget or less, with impressive financial results and
critical/audience reaction.

My production process knows no national boundaries or specific culture. It is a hybrid of all the
main ones.

P a g e | 43
1

Chapter 53
(Vista)

P a g e | 44
2

Friday, March 18, 2011,

Im becoming a LOT more proficient at this production design thing. Now THIS is what anime
should look like, in terms of production design. I edited those two images together to create
something very science-fantasy like. I like Jedi, and I like New-Earth, so I combined the two.
Now this is what Im talking about! This is the kind of Production Design department Im going
to make an effort to factor in to Parallax/End Times/New-Earth.
A Revolution in Modern Western-hemisphere American Action Animation has begun, and
is well underway. And it all started with the following TV shows: Batman, Aeon Flux, Spawn,
Samurai Jack, Invader Zim, Teen Titans, Avatar the Last Airbender, and Star Wars: The Clone
Wars. It used to be that Japanese animators and animation production committees and crews in
Japan would emulate, mimic and reverse engineer American cartoons like Jonny Quest, The

P a g e | 45
3

Flinstones, and early Hannah-Barbera and Fleischer Superman cartoons, in an effort to make
their cultural mark on the history and production process of animation. It succeeded, and what it
evolved into was one of the biggest revolutions Television broadcasting and the world animation
community (&) industry has ever seen in the history of time: anime. The Japanese had a
competitive edge and got really far ahead of us in the creative, hyperdetailing, and storytelling
departments for a good long while. At least 1 to 2 decades of consistent progress, improvement,
and commercial prosperity. That would be anime. But now, slowly but surely America, Europe,
and even China are rising from the ashes of creative defeat, like a phoenix, and gradually
evolving to match and go beyond the highest level of animation production it can reach, both in
3-D digital and in 2-D traditional and hand drawn, the old fashioned way. The result: A new
golden age of American TV Production, which has already started, thanks in part to people like
George Lucas, Titmouse, The Avatar Committee, Williams Street, and on The Hub: Mitsura
Hongo (Deltora Quest) and Jeff Kline (Transformers: Prime; GI Joe: Renegades). The shows
mentioned in the last paragraph Ive written here have reached a whole new level of innovation
and quality, and its partially influenced by my own animation and storyboarding production
work Ive done in the last 10 or so years on Parallax, with characters like Mono and Jen James,
and otherworldly fantasy realms like New-Earth. This new kind of Action timing, design, and
production value mastery has often been influenced by my very own vision and style. Because of
people like me and the names Ive mentioned in this paragraph, and the crews that work for
them, American animation, at least in terms of visual quality and design-detailing, and timing,
editing, camera shots, writing, filmmaking now actually is able to compete on the same level as
Japanese anime in one sense, or something very close to it. Many actually call what we do in
America with shows like Avatar and Batman anime already even though I dont call it anime
anymore. Id rather call American TVs current best crop of anime-ish animation thats been
done in a long time what I should call it: The way American animation always should have
been made: Cinematic, with lots of intense action and vibrant colors. Like Star Wars. Like
Conan. Like Blade Runner and Ghost in the Shell, or Akira: Just like a big budget Hollywood
live-action, action film that took 4 times as long to make, except were making it on 1/10 the size
of a Hollywood budget or less, with impressive financial results and critical/audience reaction.
My production process knows no national boundaries or specific culture. It is a hybrid of all the
main ones.
I call this new revolution in filmmaking that people have started, in the post-Matrix, post-Avatar
Committee world:

P a g e | 46
4

The Art of Action

The American Action Television Revolution
Everything from cinematic vision, to auteurs, to fight choreography, to hyper detailed work.
As for me, Im feeling more secure in my creative, innovative, and cinematic literary vision. Ive
been doing this type of thing for so long I just cant help but feel more experienced, wise, and
confident. I feel more able and capable of creating works and stories of epic scale than ever
before. And Im not even an artist currently. Id probably feel less confident with my vision if I
was currently an artist, Id just find some way to get lazy on it and ruin the whole thing. Im
through with that.
Some careers in art or literature dont happen until long, long, a long time, eons after youve
given up on them. My vision is just now beginning to take shape, a decade after I created it. A
decade is a very long time. Its like a prison sentence if Ive experienced the things and types of
situations I have. But I kind of thought automatically nothing really interesting would happen in
my career as a designer-storyteller in the first decade. And nothing did.
My vision contains a lot of power. Perhaps even too much for me to successfully manage on my
own. Im eventually going to have to hire a staff to help me manage my visual power. Other
people who also have power already.
If the Main Kung-Fu Superstars of the modern day cinematic world is actually able to be
boiled down to three main star martial arts actors: Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and Jet Li, then the
Main Kung-Fu Studio System in the modern day cinematic world can be boiled down to one
main historic studio: Shaw Brothers Shaw Scope. I emulate directors and studios (John Woo,
Akira Kurosawa, Shinichiro Watanabe; Shaw Brothers, Production I.G., Gonzo) more than any
one star, even if he happens to be Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee. Thats just how I think and thats
my tactic. I think in terms of coordination and delegation.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Some of my production design photo-edits are beginning to match the production design level of
anime, which technically is not an easy thing to do.
There is some hidden aspect of my existing. Some kind of secret power that swarms my presence
that I cant completely visualize or define yet.
After writing a long, long, very long sequence of fight narratives and imagery in my scripts, Ive
come to realize that when you get really, really good at writing or drawing fighting, you cannot
escape the fact that fighting cinema and literature is not just about fighting. Its about the nature
of violence, heroes, weapons, social order, culture, and The System. The Corrupt System we
often find ourselves living in. Martial Arts Action is about bringing social order about through

P a g e | 47
5

rebellion and militant action, which isnt always the answer. But at times, it is. Circumstances
thrust these kinds of situations upon us, even if like me, we arent all violent or aggressive in
nature, most of us will be confronted with such terrors despite our meek, nonviolent natures. And
that is where Action gets its soul. I may not be a violent person, but if Im powerful, which I am,
theres no denying Ill attract individuals who ARE violent and destructive to society. And it is
how we deal with defeating these obstacles that action draws its story from.
No more screenwriting for today. I edited my scripts earlier this evening. Ive done enough
screenwriting for one day.
Theres got to be something art related I can babble and lecture on about. But now that Im
putting twice the power into my writing, I feel twice as powerful as a writer and screenwriter.
If I could have just one wish, it would be for the general American public to understand me
completely, and actually recognized all the things I do to help this world and its people. No one
acknowledges my creative influence or achievements. Is anyone even keeping track of what I
do? I doubt that. This knowledge is a huge burden to me, knowing that whatever I do it wont be
good enough to deserve to be appreciated by the public. The thought of never being recognized
fills me with hopelessness, and desperation. Its my first and foremost pet peeve. I dont get any
acknowledgement or recognition from the fans. Just a little bit of acknowledgement would be
better than none at all. It bothers me to think about it sometimes, that I never get credit, that my
name is always excluded from the credits, other than in rare instances. No one ever credits me
for any of my influence. I just wish someone cared enough to document it, or even to ask, at all,
in any way whatsoever. That is my wish: The wish to be credited and recognized, and not made
into a cartoon character thats disassociated from me.
I have a mathematics disability, Im pretty certain. I just had a dream about it actually, where Im
in a classroom, failing a math class with one of my old nerdier classmates as a tutor. This type of
thing is called dyscalculia. Its like dyslexia, except instead of being bad with words, youre
bad with math.
Tech talk
Ive created my newestand one of my most importantinvention(s) just now, after strategizing
how to construct its linear playback and user interface. This invention gives you more freedom to
watch whatever you want than the DVR and VCR! It surpasses them in versatility. My TV-PC
now has its own channel, that airs clips and episodes played on linear or shuffle playback, on my
TV, with a playlist of WMV files! But because its only beginning to manifest into reality, it relies
completely on an HDMI cable to be activated. Im going to have to buy a $200 or so new TV to
do my tech experiments on. But I already have a long enough and PC compliant HDMI cable
that integrates the TV and PC, essentially turning them into a new device, or TV Channel,
exclusive to my TV and my TV only. Im using construction techniques on both my TV and PC

P a g e | 48
6

that have never been done before, merely by messing around and tinkering with file
management, WMV Player, DVD and TV-to-DVD rips and an HDMI cable.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Im just now starting to negotiate with attorneys about contacting venture capitalists, or at the
very least, consulting my attorney about venture capitalists, in my consultation. If I can get an
attorney to represent me, he can do a lot of the selling work for me, and Ill be well on my way to
getting payments for my engineering.
As it turns out, I can make a whole hatful of money licensing my patent to investors and
manufacturers.
Im officially an inventor now. And if I can attain a patent, or maybe even perhaps numerous
patents, like say, 6 to 7 or sonow that I have a patent attorney to pitch them all to who accepts
my ideas and helps me file for patentsits very possible that within the next 2 to 5 years,
between the ages of 29 and 33, its very well all my life goals, or many of them, will have been
achieved: Fame, wealth, millions of dollars, fat stacks of royalty checks worth thousands, or
maybe even millions of dollars coming in every month and every year from sales, mindshare,
brand recognition, space on the market. Just the stuff scientific dreams are made of. The stuff
patent dreams are made of. And if those types of things happen, and my technology gets
publicity, I can leverage my publicity as a wealthy inventor to pursue work in comics, animation,
and literature. Just as Ive always wanted to do. Or I can stick with what Im good at: Inventing. I
know Im not allowed to violate my contract. I know that much.
Steps to take toward finding a career as an inventor:
Invent product (updated)
Present findings to patent attorney
Get support of patent attorney
Attain representation of patent attorney
Verify originality of Invention (previous art search Google Patents)
Payment. Get funding.
Paperwork
Patent invention with attorney
License Patent to Clients
Give input, collect payment
Continue collecting payments
Submit other ideas for patents
Get other patents
License other patents

P a g e | 49
7

All of my youth has been devoted to art, entertainment, and creativity. Self-Expression. Much of
my young adult life has been devoted to technology, business, entrepreneurship, and science.
Ill worry about money when/if I make any. Not going to happen for at least 5-9 months anyway.
No need to worry about something 3 years down the road. Im not worried about making a lot of
money while living here. If my bank account gets too epic, Ill probably move and buy a house,
but like I said, not happening for a while.
My future wealth has been foretold in prophecy numerous times. Predictions of my future
constantly foretell of a lot of wealth and power being attained after rising from what is
essentially nothing, a nowhere beginning.
Even though it is rooted in my own power, or peoples reaction to it, I do tend to shrink from my
own powerful presence, especially when its overbearing and manifested through people who
dont like me at all really. Thats very scary to me. Sometimes when people overreact violently
or aggressively with hostility to the presence of my power, Im unprepared for power like that,
and I tend to want to shrink away from it. Who wouldnt want to shrink away from power
manifestation that violent? Like when neighbors/people-in-traffic yell, cuss, and honk at me, and
threaten to beat me up, threaten violence against me. What I dont realize is its my own power
causing this behavior in these people. All those negative reactions are part of all that power.
Thats what they dont tell you in power school. Im lucky to have lived to see the glory of
young adulthood.
A lot of proprietary and legal jargon has entered my life. I dont understand all of it, but my
attorney does clearly want to hear me out.
I should be proud. I engineered an entirely new type of next generation technological process.
One I cross-wired and constructed from scratch, singlehandedly. Its like putting a typewriter and
television together to create the personal computer, which is what Steve Wozniak and Jobs did.
Cross wiring; tinkering Its innovative. Thats for certain. And it might just be worth money
too. Lots of moneyto someone(s).
I did a partial prior-art-search on my new technology I invented-engineered on my PC, on
Google Patents, and fortunately for me, nothing even close to my system came up. As far as
originality goes, Im in the clear. Now its merely a matter of patenting the invention I have, and
licensing that patent to a client.
I have little doubt Ill have a patent for my invention at some point.
Well, I am accomplishing some life goals. Ive become an inventor-engineer and am attaining a
patent of some kind. Just because you have a patent doesnt automatically mean you are rich and
there are infinite business opportunities. Yes, getting a patent costs a lot of money, but a patent
needs to be licensed or sold for its licensor (i.e. creator) to make any money off of it. It can be

P a g e | 50
8

hard and difficult finding places that accept patent submissions. Some of the people I contacted
dont even know what a patent is. Whats that? one of them asked. Inventions, I said.
Im a genius. A great thinker. An inventor and engineer. And I also now will within the next year
have my own patented brand of digital technology, exclusively licensed by me. Im a license
owner. I own the rights to my exclusive patent license. And yes, I have an attorney. A patent
attorney. I am a powerful inventor of new technology and systems! But enough about me. How
are you today?
Ive got a LOT of legal paperworka whole stack of papersto fill out by the end of the year.
Its a headache, but the legal mumbo jumbo must be done if you ever want to have a deal.
Paperwork is part of making a business deal. The good news. I have a whole year to finish most
of my opening paperwork by.
Ive never known or admitted this before, because Ive never realized it, but Ive got an
intuitiveperhaps even psychiceye for power, detail, intensity, and depth. But especially
power. Intensity, detail, and depth all lead to power. Ive got an eye for power. If something is
powerful, I notice it. I can spot it almost instantaneously.
Ive been off of the message board obsession for over 4+ years now. Ive been DA and ASMBfree for 4+ years, which is not to say they stopped paying attention to me. But I stopped paying
attention to them. How long? For 4+ years!
I havent posted on DeviantART or the Adult Swim Bored consistently since at least 4 years ago,
or 2008
Things I can do with my next check

Donate it to the Red Cross of America, for Japan

Buy more production art books for anime and manga
Buy a new flatscreen TV
Save it for my career
Buy the work-related book from Amazon
Put it on my debit
Lulu Book
Wiki Book

I used to wonder why I was so obsessed with myself, why I was my own biggest fan, why I
didnt care about other people enough. I used to think I was vain, self-absorbedthat is, until I
became famous and everyone began talking about me, obsessing about my hair and face.
Suddenly it didnt seem like vanity. Its now come to seem like the entire world is as obsessed
with my appearance as I am, but in a different context than I am, one that is either a lot more epic
and dramatic, a lot more powerful, or a lot more negative and ugly. Theres very little middle

P a g e | 51
9

ground when it comes to the way I look. Many love it. Many hate it and despise it, get disgusted
by it, call it freakish. Nowadays I dont know what to think anymore. I know the world doesnt
revolve around me, and yet the TV makes it seem like it does, making my temperament and
personality and psychological likenessand in some cases physical likeness, both appealing and
repulsivethe star of numerous notable films, animations, and TV shows. Its not the me thats a
celebrity. Its my likeness that is. That famous resemblance that my own parents deny exists in
the first place. Thats fucking weird, man! And how will this effect my newest career as an
inventor anyway?
Communities Im popular with:

Webcomics fans
YouTube employees and fans
Google fans
DeviantART fans
Adult Swim fans
Cartoon Network fans
Manga fans
Anime fans
Animation fans
Scientists and Intellectuals
Internet fans
Hollywood and Animation People
Celebrities
Journalists
Family and friends
Fellow writers
Japan / Tokyo
China / Hong Kong

With these communities, Im actually kind of a hit. I guess I just never realized it because no one
ever told me how popular I really was with these communities.
Data banks:

CD Collections
MP3 Collections
Ripped Video Folder Collection
DVD Collections
DVD Wallet
Book and DVD shelves

P a g e | 52
10

Microsoft Word Folders

Web Favorites
SplitAtomBoom
Debit Account
Roku
Amazon Unbox
Microsoft Digital Image Pro Folders
Science and Legal Folders
Stacks of papers

Geometry, & Mecha Design Building

Squares
Triangles
Ovals
Rectangles
Cubes
Circles
Tubes
Octagons

Jhonen Vasquez and Katsuhiro Otomo in some waysdespite the fact that one is from the Far
East, and the other is from the Wild Westin terms of their influence, style, and careers, and
especially their engineer NT Visionarys approach to mechanical design and architecture,
actually have a surprisingly large amount of things in common in their mechanical or mecha
design styles. Something about the texturing of their forms and their usage of deformed
geometric shapes, is highly imaginative. It incorporates a very fantasy-based element into their
Sci-Fi vision in general. Both started off as underdogs and influenced tons of equally skilled
artists and designers who came after them. But they were and still are the conduits. The attractors
of all the energy and power and creativity and vision, all spewed out like genius vomit on the
screen and comics page. Thats something other genius modern day artists like Todd McFarlane
and Frank Miller never really did in the same way, even when theyre just as powerful and
influential / creative too. Jhonen is like Bruce Timm, but with more mecha. And Otomo is like
Moebius and Tezuka, but with boatloads more mecha. At least speaking in terms of raw design
muscle. My design muscle seems to be getting back some of its power. Watching an episode of
Generator Rex helped me with that problem, mecha designer block. Theres also Syd Mead and
Corey Senderov Jackson, but Coreys kind of obscure. Hes not famous as Jhonen is. But yes,
corey is a genius of mechanical design too. He took Jhonens production design for ZIM and
amplified its formulas aesthetics. The Jhonen Vasquez and Katsuhiro Otomo design formulas
are very recognizable. I recognize them the moment I see both of them. Even if its just through

P a g e | 53
11

me, in my mind, the two famous designers are linked. Theyre like demented long lost twin
siblings or something, one from Japan, one from America.
NOW. Its not just about architecture, science, technology, weapons, and martial arts anymore.
Now its about Mecha. NOW, its about Machines. Something infinitely more powerful than
nearly any human. So in a way, Im becoming the Ultimate Master Builder. Im now entering the
world of Building and Designing Mecha and Fantasy Mechanics or Science-Fantasy
Mechanics. Why wait for someone else to build it. Machines and Technology, and the Industrial
Revolution, all originated in America Im pretty sure. So why has Japan been kicking our sorry
American asses in this area lately. We need some kind of competitive edge. And Im going to
work towards That Goal. Industrial Goals. Of Industry. And Machines.
Made In AmericaYet Again
The Computer Revolution is merely following its engineering heritages footsteps. Just as the
Old School Original Industrial Revolution start in Europe and North America in the 18th and 19th
Century by Brits and Americans, The Personal Computer Revolution is the Industrial
Revolutions Heir, and just like the Industrial Revolution, the Personal Computer Revolution
Started was started by Brits and Americans, in AMERICA, in the 20th Century. We. Americans.
Are. Still. KING. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Im a visionary. That means I get visions, and see things. Ethereal realms and beings. Other
dimensions and plains of existence. Theres the Universe and Cosmos, The Everyday World,
The Dream World, The Future World, The Past, The Spirit World, the Shamanic World, the
Paranormal World, The Afterlife, The Archetypal and Mythological World, the Psychic
Realm, Heaven and Hell, Kinetic Energy, Spiritual Energy, the Fantasy and Science World,
The Science-Fiction World, the Science-Fantasy World, The Realm of Imagination and
Creativity, which creates many of the previously mentioned realms and worlds.
All of my best artwork is otherworldly. In an appealing way mostly. I dont like scary
otherworldly images. I cower from such demonic visions of monsters, ghosts, and demons,
among many others, and deviant people and masterminds who want to do us harm.
The media has definitely turned me into a real life alleged freak that scares bullies, small
children, neighbors, and the conservative members of the United States. Im the target of a lot of
spectacled sadists, bigger freaks and monsters than Ive ever been, who for some reason want
prove to the media, Hollywood, and journalists how much they resemble me. They dont, but
they sure seem to desire that goal, almost like resembling me while getting media attention and
trying to force people to consider this self-proclaimed resemblance to Joe is more valuable to
them than actual money. Im sure it has something to do with being starved for attention.

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I think Ive pretty much lost all of my faith in traditional live TV broadcasting, for any and all
live channels, both ones I love and ones I hate. I am indeed plotting to throw the baby out with
the bathwater, so to speak. Its replacement will be video:

Quitting Normal TV
DirecTV DVR, DVD, Ripped WMV played automatically, Windows Media Player, and Roku
and online video sites like Netflix, YouTube, and Hulu, will be live broadcastings ultimate
replacement. That means no Adult Swim, no Ani-Mondays, no Cartoon Network, no
Boomerang, and no regular TV in general. Im quitting, Im breaking free. Maybe it might
be a good idea to schedule all or some of this video content. Unless it shows up in my DVR,
I wont be aware of it in the future. There stopped being good live TV somewhere halfway
through the first decade of the New Millennium. Im proud of my unawareness of whats
being played on television. If I can quit message boards, I can quit normal TV. Ill just let
the programs I do record take me the whole day to watch, with many long breaks from
watching to do work on my own projects.
New Art-Secrets No Showing Mom (or Scanner) My New Art Policy
I have a new policy where Im not allowed to show my Mom my newest drawings, as Ive
realized her over-encouragement of my art is doing more harm than good. My Mom is my
number 1 fan, and she always says such nice, kind and encouraging things. Perhaps shes being
too encouraging. Im going to fix this. All that does is set me up for discouragement when I meet
people online who arent in the least bit enthusiastic or happy about my work, and have nothing
to gain from my success.
Because of this new policy, productivity is shooting upward. I got 46 drawings done today alone.
Yknow, Katsuhiro Otomos more detailed drawings are much easier to study and draw from if
you look at them with a magnifying glass. Theres all these tiny little forms, textures, mechanics,
and lines. Ill bet he uses magnifying glasses.
Ive begun work on the Parallax production papers. Ive got script-work, storyboarding, and
layout started. But it all starts with a script. The three main pillars of my production are
happening! The storyboards are angry. The layouts show depth of field. And the script is
properly formatted. Production is UNDERWAY! Production is ON ITS WAY!
Finally, Im making some headway in the areas of layout, storyboard, and script. Ive gotten a lot
of work done. Looks like I might get a deal after all. Maybe if I keep working. I dont care if I
get a deal or not. Thats not what Im doing this for anymore. Im doing it to test my willpower
and work ethic. Shouldnt be a problem.

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Technically, Im not just an inventor and patent holder anymore. Im also a licensor. I license all
my patents. So far I have 6 pending patents, 1 of them is 99% guaranteed to be patented, and 1
likely license, of which I am the licensor.
My favorite inventors in history:

Johannes Guttenberg
Thomas Edison
Benjamin Franklin
Philo T. Farnsworth
Nikolai Tesla
Steve Wozniak
Tim Berners-Lee
Anthony Wood (DVR, Roku)

Whatever the next industry and medium I pioneer as a follow up to YouTube Anime is going to
be, its going to be something I get paid for this time around. And I sense its not that far off,
assuming I can fend off imitators and get enough legal protection to earn a profit from my work
next time. I refuse to make the same mistake, the same unprofitable mistake, ever again. Ever
since YouTube and Google gave me the brush off, Ive vowed to A) Never share my own trade
secrets with them ever again, unless theyre the licensee of my product, B) Legally protect every
single idea I come up with, just as soon as I have enough money to legally protect my ideas and
products. The Internet is the number 1 way to get ripped off if you are a visionary of the web
generation. Theres still a lot of money to be made, but it can only be claimed with copyrights,
patents, and trademarks. Not with the buddy-honor system. There is no buddy-honor system
online. Clearly.
Im trying a new technique of self-hypnosis therapy to help me overcome my idea and product
submissions process phobia when its time (sometime within the next year) to submit my ideas to
multinational corporations, R&D Depts., acquisitions editors, producers, agents (for TV, movies,
animation, comics, film studios, and novels), book and comic book publishing companies, and
animation production studios. Suddenly approaching, cold calling, and sending unsolicited
submissions to the powerful Hollywood and tech industry players who can make my dreams
happen (or not) by merely saying yes or not, or sorry, not interested, or congratulations weve
accepted your ideaisnt so scary anymore.
Fears:

Driving
Travel
Responsibility
Success

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The Unsolicited Submissions Process

Criticism
Public Humiliation

Thats 1 fear Im going to revel in.

Getting your pitch or submission accepted or rejected by a licensee or an agent is not a reflection
of your worth. Because its subjective, and its difficult for most, and a lot of people have a hard
time with rejection from publishers and distributors, and you need to get used to doing it a lot if
youre going to succeed at it, as all true warriors can and do. Then maybe I can step away from
this rut Ive been in where Im a laughing stock. Once I dont get rejected by a client, then I
might cease to be a laughing stock.
Im one of the first, greatestand youngesttech and home electronics inventors and licensors
of the current generation! Im so young and brilliant, I cant believe it! Im getting my first
technology system patent at the age of 27.
The inventors who have the biggest influenced on me? Philo Farnsworth, Steve Wozniak, Tim
Berners-Lee, Anthony Wood. They paved the way for what I do, with computers and TV.
Farnsworth made TV possible. Wozniak combined a typewriter with a computer to make the
Personal Computer. Berners-Lee wrote the Hypertext Transfer Protocol for the internet. Anthony
Wood invented the Digital Video Recorder. And Ive added yet another layer to this combo
platter.
Patience in your email response time is a big part of being a professional. In waiting for and
sending responses, you need to act like a Zen Master, like you have all the time in the world.
That means waiting up to a week or more to send or receive responses.
I really, REALLY HATE my government conformist average name my parents gave me. Joseph.
They wanted me to have that name because they were hoping Id grow up to be a dull, boring,
and obnoxious conservative, just like they. I hate how dull the name they chose for me was. It
was like they didnt even put any effort or care into naming me: Joe/Joey/Joseph. I fucking hate
my parents for naming me Joe. Its a name of mediocrity. Im considering legally changing my
first name from Joseph Matthew Alberts to James Matthew Allen
I, James Matthew Allen, wont be sharing a penny of my royalties with Andrewever. If he
were to ever stop abusing his time privileges with me, I might consider buying him a gift card
every so often. But overall, if not completely, he can throw all the greedy, violent tantrums at me
he wants, but hes not getting shit from me. Oh well.
My parents think by messing with me, they can mess with my destiny and destiny in general.
Thats not right. My destiny is too powerful, famous, and important for yahoos who Im forced

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to live withto be messing with it, selfishly. If theyre not going to let me be, Im not going to
let them be. Im even considering moving in with Chris, up North.
If my estimates are correct, I wont be able to receive a patent for my product until at least
midway through my birthday month, which is 2/3rds of a year away. Waiting that long to take
legal action kind of scares me. People will attempt to commit a lot of crimes and get away with
a lot of newsworthy things, and celebrities will fuck up between now and then. And Im sure
Andrew will attempt to make my life hell with his constant anti-Obama-Tea-Party talk from all
those hours he spends watching Glenn Beck and Fox News. Such horrible people these people
are. I fucking hate every second of being around them. Theyre nothing more than human walls
standing directly in my path to success, on purpose and intentionally. I hope CN and Williams
Street actually bother to help me out in this difficult time.
Nothing profitable or good in my life ever really comes easy to me. Not profitability. Not
popularity. Not acceptance into mainstream pop culture. Not legal or physical or emotional
protection either. Its going to take me an entire year of saving up money just to get legal
protection for my first major proprietary product. And thats not counting the potential initial
rejection from initial licensing companies. My success on YouTube is kind of just a fluke, and
Ive still never made any profit from it.
All the PR Marketing and Internet Slander-ish look alikes that pretend to be me dont really
factor into what Im doing currently. I even asked my attorney about all that. Hes not even
familiar with such activity. Things are slowly but surely getting easier. But my business
operation is similar to that is similar to that of a military operation. It takes evasive maneuvering,
strategy, tactics, legal and physical protection, and a stone cold defensive strategy.
My career path is at odds with itself. Ive learned, entertainment and art are self indulgent and
evil. Science and technology are noble and good. Art is narcissism. Science is altruism. Its a
classic case of good (altruism, contribution, utility) vs. evil (selfishness, pessimism). Artists are
generally degenerate and evil people. Scientists want to improve the world. There can be good
and bad on either side, but art tends to aim toward the bad. Art attracts deviants and degenerates.
Science attracts thinkers, builders, innovation, and ingenuity. Not too hard to figure out, unless
youre stupid.
And also, the internet community has gotten overcrowded. Its basically a sardine can and human
barn now. Cant say Im into that. Considering being around a large group of people, whether in
person, on TV or online, makes me puke just by sensing it, Id say the overcrowding of the Web
2.1 is actually starting to drive me away. I have no desire to indulge the social in social
media. To me its just media. I only care about media. I dont give a fuck about social
media. Fuck being social on ANY level. If theres one thing I hate more than animation and
comics, its social interaction with blowhards, which can pretty much describe any large group or
gathering of people anywhere.

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Competitors all seem to want to take me on directly, and they all seem to think they can
frustrate me so much that Ill reveal my strategy out of frustrations, in an attempt to get
respect. I know better than to fall for that one. I dont take my opponents on directly online
anymore, unless its on an official place of mine.

The good news? I stand a 50% chance of attain financial independence.

The bad? I need to save my money to pay for the legal aspects of this goal. It wont
happen right away.

Its a bad idea to indulge in too much beforehand bragging, even if you are going to succeed
and become more successful than all of your competitors.
My engineering career is ending up making my art career look like a fucking stain. And to me, it
has become a shit stain. Thats what happens when people use viruses to steal your product from
you.
The further along I get in my career, the more profitable secrets I come across. Im turning into
Bill Gates. Bill Gates has TONS of secrets. But its getting to the point where Im risking my job
if I reveal too many secrets, even when I in fact have dozens of powerful secrets. Power, money,
and secrets are closely linked together. But at the same time, if I talk too much about my secrets,
it can cost me my career. No wonder Bill Gates ended up with a secret monopoly. Being open
about his insider info could cost him his job and all his profits. Truth is, talking about profits,
makes you lose all of them. I used to think the idea of having a lot of insider trade secrets was
cool. But now that Im seeing the reality of what it takes to keep all of them, and how many
years you have to keep them for, the reality of being rich and successful sounds more strenuous
than fun. Im starting to see how being a licensor or a trademark really is uncomfortable at times.
You cant talk to anyone except the people who know as much as you do. Keeping secrets
confidential, private, and concealed isnt even a choice after a while. When you get to a certain
point, you can get fired, sued, endangered, and generally punished for being a blabbermouth
online. Especially if youve got loose lips involving the secrets of someone youve never met.
Im used to critics when it comes to art, but when I reveal to people close to me my aspirations
and plans to be a real life inventor, the first reaction I got was aggressive criticism from my
oldest therapist and adoptive brother. First thing to come out of their mouths once they heard I
was considering being an inventor? YOU? Youll never be an inventor! You dont have what it
takes! Youll never succeed! You need an education for that! Your chances of success dont
EXIST! And my parents? Youre not getting any money from us to fund your crazy ideas!
Youre on your own!
Despite such glowing praises from my private life about my career choices, Ive persevered,
mostly by concealing my ambitions from them, as they are obviously cynical dream murderers.
Every last one of them. I need to stay away from them in terms of my career. My parents,

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therapists, and brother are NOT here to help me. Especially not financially. Its my job to figure
it out on my own, with or without their help. Always shield your dreams from critics and angry,
cynical people. Like Andrew.
OK, with each passing month, patenting and licensing are becoming more and more of a reality.
As a newly created corporate licensor, or at the very least a potential one, I need a plan. A
strategic, and configuration plan, a way to apply my technology. Eventually, my system will be
built into a prototype at a lab or R&D facility somewhere, at wherever the licensee company is. I
see this technology as an integrative technology. Honestly, I have 2 options. I can be a licensing
company founder and president, or I can license my technology and integrate it with a preexisting business. I see my media technology, among many other things, as that of an integrative
media technology. A technology that gets integrated into pre-existing technology of a similar
nature. The sky is the limit, depending on how creative, innovative, and inventive the people Im
licensing to are. It can change the internet, home entertainment hardware, computer hardware
and software. It can do a lot of things if it reaches its maximum potential. But its going to
remain obscure for a while, until someone is actually interested in licensing it and developing,
engineering, programming, and prototyping it, and then integrating it into existing media
technology.
Sunday, April 03, 2011,
I really dont have all that much to my name: No friends, no family, no offspring.
But what I do have is a tech and media dynasty, and a huge personal fortune. So its not like Im
lacking in material possessions. Im going to have enough to take care of myself, but it will be
lonely at the top. Better get used to it I guess.
Its going to be a long 7 months.
Im getting more and more absorbed into my own little universe, my own little world. Its been a
long time since Ive been outside. Im getting older, and as a result, I have less and less time for
the bullshitty real world. I dont thrive in reality. I thrive in my own little world. In a way, Im
very glad I can just tune everything else out.
Without anime (&) manga in my life, I have NOTHING. Anime is the only thing I really care
about.
My adoptive brother was a die hard Christian. For about a month and a half! Then he quit. Ha
ha! Andrew makes me laugh. He never really sticks with anything. Hopefully he wont stick with
living here either.
A small (or perhaps large, for all I know) amount of success is kind of making me lose my
direction.

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Success:

YouTube
Licensor
More Money
Debit Card
Mindshare
Branded Product
Attorney

I dont know if and when Im ever going to retire. Ive done a lot. Should I retire in 3 years?
I feel like destroying my so-called anime credibility. I will begin by drawing non-anime
characters. Muah hah hah hah! Im not even going to draw manga anymore. Just American indie
comics or experimental comics. I can draw as shitty as I want to and no one cares if its an
experimental comic.
And because of this freedom from anime-manga Im giving myself, I think thats part of the
reason I did 100 drawings in less than 2 weeks. BECAUSE OF that newfound freedom.
All you need to be in comics is to make a comic. The rest is self-delusion.
Brian Michael Bendis
Twitter
Well, if thats the case, I already work in comics. Ive already made comics, a series bible,
scripts, storyboards, novel chapters, outlines, model sheets, mecha design, production design,
and costume design.
In other words, Ive talked about comics, and now Im making comics. Ive also made
storyboards.
Self-Analysis of Parallax
Parallax is a superior show. I know for a fact that Ive achieved my goals with my pitch for a
show. The pitch itself is near perfect, flawless. Strong, detailed, deep, dynamic, and powerful.
Visually speaking, it is one of the 5 best visual shows to be produced in the last 10 years, and if
the show never gets made, the pitch itself will in time reveal itself to be one of the best animated
series presentations in the last ten years, if not one of the best, most visually stunning shows
itself. Its one of the first American animation projects to seriously compete with and in the

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Japanese and French Markets, which have the monopoly on detail and visual quality. Visually, in
terms of hyper-detail and fanciness, its one of the greatest shows in Western animation of all
time. No one can take that achievement away from me: The quality of my series concept. Its
everything a contemporary animated series should be: Hyperdetailed, full of perspective,
cinematic, similar to anime and Franime in form. Fast paced. Fancy-shmancy. Im proud of it!
Im quite happy with what Ive accomplished with the Parallax Project. In the end it did
everything it set out to day: Change the modern face of animation and comics. But especially
animation. Many shows openly mock and slander me with all kinds of misrepresentation. That
doesnt change the fact that if were sticking to the issue, my show kills the shit out of your
show, if youre one of the JM parodies. And it looks better than the parodies and paraodycreators work too. So I guess you could say my art is better than theirs and superior to their
shows in every conceivable way. Get this: I actually planned my show! If youre mocking me or
my shows, its obviously because youre work is inferior to mine, and 10 times more half-assed.
You aint foolin anybody.
My design and art production techniques are kind of gaining respect in their own right, at least in
the United States. By now, a lot of people know that if you do business with me, youll be
getting high-end production techniques, good choreography, good design techniques, high
production values. Its all part of my brand.
Six Continents with Six Populations

North America
Europe
Asia
South America
Africa
Australia

My brother hides his beer in energy drinks. What a nifty secret. But then again, I guess now that
Ive written it here when my comp is plugged in, there goes that secret.
Painful and humiliating? Why, thats the American medical communitys middle name!
My family that lives with me is fighting with the media (web, news, TV, Hollywood) over who
gets control over access to me, who gets to have access to me, who gets to waste and use up
the largest chunk of my time. Who exactly does get to license Joe Rights. Better fight to the
death with eachother to find out. Ha! I say let them kill eachother. I could care less. I dont
particularly like either of them. These people have lost their minds. What makes me so valuable
that the whole nation is stepping over itself to get a piece of my time and focus? Why are they so
obsessed with bonding with, identifying with, and glorifying me.

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The worst thing about both sides is how pathetic and immature / disrespectful theyre being
when it comes to spending time with me. Theyre like children and little kids in adult bodies.
This fighting and feuding between the media and family is getting out of hand, out of control.
Youd think people could be more mature about a conflict of interest.

Black is just another color for being hardcore, in terms of entertainment. Goth entertainment
seems to have faded in popularity, and fallen out of favor with the public recently.
To McFarlane, Spawn is a red cloak and eyes. Mono is a black cloak, eyes, and sword, when he
isnt human, but instead in power mode. He is very much based on Spawn (and when hes
human, Seto Kaiba), in the same way Spawn wanted to add to things like Sin City, Otomo,
Batman comics, and Frank Miller. He built it to fit that mold. And he succeeded. Im fairly
certain Ill succeed one day too.
My adoptive brother is a huge family bully. He bullies his own family. Pretty low blow, treating
his 4 year old son so abusively, on an emotional level. He takes out his anger on his family the
way Cary our dad takes out most of his anger on Andrew. Sometimes Cary takes his aggression
out on me too, but he reserves the bulk of his emotionally abusive rage for Andrew, belittling
much of whats important to him. This is a very abusive family I come from. Andrew was
getting treatment for addiction at one point. He called it a vacation. I guess he didnt learn
anything apparently because hes returned to his demons, and thinks he can ingest alcohol all day
and night and use it as an emotional shield. And to think I based Mono on that bully. Not
anymore. Andrews too much a con artist to be any sort of real actual creative inspiration for me.
People think Mono is me being angry, when I make Mono scary, but Mono Rage is inspired by
Andrews famous anger issues.
The fact that Ive never had sex, ever, has left room for some wild speculation from the media
and strangers to fill in the void with wild speculation about what I guess they just assume is my
sex life. Nope, not much to tell. Ive never had sex, and for all I know I never will either. Its
more of a pain in the ass seeking sexual gratification than anything else. As far as Im concerned,
humanity is better off without sex, sexual indulgence, promiscuity. There would be less
deviancy, sex crime, and rapes, as well as no sexual battery, no pornographic industry, no kids
having sex, no porn of the aforesaid thing, no sexual politics, no man hating, no misogyny, no
feminism, no penis envy, no gender politics and politicking, no marriage, no male/female power
struggles, no molestation, pedophilia and prostitution. If people werrent having sex there would
be no deviant sexuality, period. It would be a better world if everyone was like me. A cleaner,
less dirty world. Sex fuels a lot of rage in this country. Its not just a pleasure and procreation
travesty as it is, Its also bringing humanity down. Into the gutter, a million times over. Sex is
evil. Why have it? As far as Im concerned, no sex is like no death. Everyone is better off. Sex
overpopulates the world with idiot kids who grow up into idiot adults aka my neighbors.

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Today was difficult, but I refuse to let exhaustion, laziness, and fatigue win in their war on me.
Ive got to stay on my feet, and keep working. Ive got to continue generating energy. A lot of
people are counting on me. Not my family, but all the rest. Unless the medication knocks me out,
I have to stay at the tracing pad and computer. I know I have problems with fatigue, but I cant
afford to get lazy and immobile. Ive become a perpetual energy machine and I need to stay a
perpetual energy machine. I need to keep my energy levels up. I let fatigue and exhaustion get to
me a year or two ago, and the lack of energy and kinetics/inertia really put me behind. I cant
afford to lie in bed sleeping all day and night, despite how massively depressed I am.
Fortunately, I dont think Im capable of blowing my brains out, therefore its easier to test my
limits and still manage to avert catastrophe and tragedy. On the plus side, Ill produce more work
and be able to sleep at night more easily. I also dont break for emotional volatility from those
around me. My only outlet anymore is to keep typing and keep sketching. The space in my life is
so dense. Its thick. As long as I can get my body to move, I have no choice, I have to move
forward. I have to succumb to the momentum. God I suck. Im such a Sex-Nazi. Id rather just
kill sex altogether than make a compromise. No sex for you!
Black is the best color of all. I like black trenchcoats, and will eventually buy one when I get the
money for it. Unless the whole landscape is black with low-key lighting, whats the point? It
means nothing to me if it isnt black like coffee, power, and metal. I use black to express my
power.
Ive gone through a time machine. A decade in primary seclusion has put me out of touch with
the world. I dont know what its like out there anymore. Im a hermit and I know how much a
lying deceiver TV is.
The power technology and my contribution to humanity have given me, has made me not as rich
as, but just as powerful as almost any politician, let alone contemporary TV animation or anime
series creator, producer, or actor. Im just as powerful as any other celebrity. Im like a living
historic genius, or some such thing. Like the Resurrection of Jesus or something. This kind of
power is not to be taken lightly, and it is incredibly difficult to control. Half of my power is tied
to my genius and hard work. The other half is tied to my physical and emotional manifestations.
I am the Top. Im up there with Barack Obama, Tolkien, Tezuka, ad George Lucas in terms of
peacemaking and power. If they want to give me some kind of reward, posthumously, it
wouldnt change anything. Id just be reborn or go to Heaven. I just wasnt meant for this
generation. Only fellow geniuses understand me or speak my language.
Im not a real American. Not by blood anyway. But I do know Americans dont understand the
concept of subtlety. Hardly anyone in America has any subtlety. They think theyre entitled to
treat everyone else living here like shit. Fuck that. Now that I think about it, Fuck America.
America never really did accept me. I dont even know if Ill be living in America 10 to 20 years
from now. It all depends really.

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Chapter 54
(Vista)

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Saturday, April 09, 2011,

I just came to a realization. No one actually makes comics nowadays. Everybody

just talks about making comics. Not Jhonen. Not Jamie S. Rich. Not Jim Lee. No
one! The only artists I know of who are still worth their weight in drawing labor
would be Todd McFarlane and his colleague Greg Capullo. The only reason Im
not succeeding in comics as much as I want to is not so much because of
competition anymore. They cant play vampire dress-up and drain me of my
energy and will to continue anymore. God gave those things back to me. I dont
experience fatigue anymore. Just a little bit of anger. But really, what I was getting
at here is, the only thing standing in my way from succeeding in comics has been
myself. I and my lack of confidence in the past and present have been my biggest
obstacles lately. Ive lost a lot of enemiesfortunately. Brian really isnt even a
threat anymore. His sociopathic socially hateful criticism-hyperfocus on things, his
crosshairs, doesnt seem to be on me anymore. Thank God for that. If theres one
thing Brian really, REALLY knows how to do, its rally behind phony causes of
hatred to rip into random not-guilty shit. Hes good at destroying things he doesnt
like. Why he stopped bothering me, he was never really around to tell me. But
damn. Thats one angry cyberbully sociopath. I guess life is getting easier.

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So I read Invader Zim is headed back to the recording booth! Im psyched! Im one
of Jhonens biggest fans and friends! Im sure hes going to be happy about it.
Jhonen needs to be onboard if its truly going to work though.
The only thing that can help me overcome my fear of drawing bad comic book
pages is to actually draw bad comic book pages. And lots of them. 2,000 or so. 110 comic book pages to 50 100 to 100 500 to 500 1,000. By the time I reach
500 1,000 comic book pages, Ill already be an expert at drawing comics, but
productivity alone, even IF the pages all suck. Experience counts for a lot.
I may have gotten very good with science, but I cant just give up my comics and
animation work and career without a fight. But almost everyone in animation and
comics thinks I punked out, now that Im not online as much.
I need to push. I need to force myself (to work) every so often, if not all the time.
This is the only way Im ever going to finish a project.
I WILL draw lots and lots of comics. IF I force myself.
BOOKMARK
Sunday, April 10, 2011,
You know, though I am a bit muddy, I guess Im not really as bad of a comic
book artist as I thought I was. Maybe my standards are becoming too high to
realize I actually am succeeding finally in the art department.
Im light years behind detailed comic books. I know nothing of how to draw that
way. I cant draw something that detailed just from my imagination. Fuck it. I
have to keep it simple or Ill never produce anything. I know the anime and manga
community hates simple with a passion, but I really have no choice but to simplify.
Its really all I know. I like detailed art, but I cant really actually draw it. There. I
admitted it. Glad THATS over with.
Im artistically gifted in a way most artists will never be whether theyre in real life
or in the fantasy realm of online life. Hardly any of them are as good as me. Im
better, I draw better than over half of them, maybe almost all of them. I draw coats
better, I draw swords, fighting, production design, and inks better, and Im a

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thousand times more original and do a thousand times more drawings than any of
them do. I draw better than most.
Ive begun practicing Zen again, as a form of stress relief. To clear out the
pollution and noise of my mind. Im currently reading various e-texts on Zen and
Buddhism. You do not try Buddhism. You are Buddhism. Because Zen is all
things. Zen Teaches us to exist both in and as The Moment. This Moment. Nothing
more.
The Future of TV/Video Watching On the TV-PC
More stuff like Google TV and Roku.
Youll have a box on top of your TV that interacts with both your
TV and computer (i.e. Roku), and through that box, every
Commercial, music video, TV Show, animated series, anime, movie, OAV,
promo, AMV in the history of their respective mediums, Content, and
genres will be accessible in a searchable Google and
YouTube/Hulu/Netflix like database and user interface to you
available to watch whenever you want, wherever you want, as
many times as you want. Youll be able to program your own lineup,
and arrange content in an order pleasing to you.

Im an organizer. Im a builder, so of course I like building and organizing my own

private digital multimedia and self-printed literary collections. Im about as cutting
edge as they come, so much so that it has been known to put me at odds with
society from time to time.
Im going tosooner or laterwrite a broadcasting business plan for a 24/7 anime
network, of my own style and brand. If I ever get rich, this will be one of the first
things to manifest on my financial checklist: Financing a 24-Hour Cable Anime
Network. Where would the network be located? Most likely, in either Los Angeles,
Chicago, or Atlanta, Georgia (as part of Time Warner and Turner Broadcasting).
As far as day-to-day operation go, I might choose to leave someone else in charge.
But Ill approve, finance, organize, and delegate everything. Especially in the
beginning. I want to make my network compatible with YouTube, Roku, Bright
House, Twitter, FaceBook (maybe, if its still around), DirecTV, Netflix, and the
Internet in general. I want my network to be 2.0-Friendly. But I also want to be

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5

accepting of anime distributors, studios, and companies of all varieties. Ideally, I

dont want to have any enemies in the anime industry, at least as far as my channel
is concerned. As far as Im concerned, we are all friends in anime, at least when it
comes to networks. Sure, were competing, but its a friendly competition. Not
nasty at all. Ill leave the nasty part to Adult Swim.
Different stuff:

Website
Comic Book
Animation
Broadcasting
Technology
Book
Film

My newest invention arrived in my mind today: The Digital Simulcast for TV. I
use WinTV as a means to achieve this end.
I definitely hate kids. I hate youth in general, actually. Kids arent cool, and they
dont have, nor do they deserve to have any power. Its too bad so many kids and
teenagers are on the internet. Most of them cant handle the power that comes with
such status. Most of them abuse their power. Im not a breeder, and I never want to
be a breeder. Kids are more hassle than theyre worth. When I was young, I would
constantly fantasize about being (not turning into, BEING) a successful and
influential adult. Now that Im almost 30 years oldIm 27, 2 years to goI dont
miss my youth. It was like a prison sentence. Im glad I got most of my life sorted
out. I made my share of mistakes when I was young to this day, but I feel like with
each passing year Im less and less likely to make them. I do like the idea of living
on my own though. But thats not going to be for a while. Even if I get rich from
my career, I might still live with my parents for a while. Being a loner is nice, but I
like having mom and dad around. Im so close to being in my 30s! Thats exciting
for me! Quite! I dont know why youthful minded people associate age with death.
Most people afraid of getting really old and dying have a deep seated, cowardly
fear of what waits for us after life. You know, the afterlife. I have no fear of death.
Ive already faced it before with the Hitler Jr. ordeal. He made me face death, and

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6

now I have no fear of what awaits me after this lifetime. An eternity of bliss. A
reincarnation into a new equally good future life. Eternal rest. It could be any of
those things, it could be none of those things. But Im sure posthumous recognition
is gonna be awesome, so theres that to look forward to! I like the idea of
witnessing my posthumous legacy and success Ill witness as a different person in
another life. Ill see what I looked like in this life, in the media, and Ill feel a
kinship with that stranger whos famous and respected, and probably be obsessed
with him, not knowing or at least not knowing for certain I am him in a spiritually
objective sense. All of us could have live previous lives we never even knew
about.
Im part French, as Ive just found out. My birth father, aside from having Asian,
Middle Eastern, Australian, and British heritage, also had a French last name:
Sorrell. The name has its origins in France.

This piece is one of my all time best illustrations. Out of all my fine art work, it is
the most fine. It was very influenced by and reminiscent of my favorite fine artist,
the famous French Romanticist, Eugene Delacroix. Its almost like something

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7

straight out of the painting Lady Liberty Leading the People. I need to study
Delacroix more often. Im drawing and illustrating at my best when Im drawing in
pencil and charcoal like him. My work has very similar textures, a similar feel and
style to it, very dynamic, realistic, and dreamlike. I am the Eugene Delacroix of
anime. Now this is my kind of Franime! Voila! Viva La Anime!
Aesthetic Art Influences:
Frank Frazetta, Frank Miller, George Lucas, Blade Runner, The Matrix, Ghost in
the Shell, the French New Wave, The Hong Kong New Wave (John Woo),
Anime/Manga, Hong Kong Film Martial Arts Choreography, German
Expressionism, Science-Fantasy, Sword-&-Planet, Notan, Neo-Noir, Chanbara,
Auteur Theory, Cyberpunk, Classical Romanticism
If its cool and it started or led a high culture movement, Im probably influenced
by it.
Dammit. Why are redheads and Soviet women so damn hot anyway?
As an artist, Im not always just drawn to the surface and texture of things.
Sometimes I like analyzing human perception in general. How we take things in,
how we react to things, why we react to things the way we do, why things appear
the way they are. Its not just about what were actually seeing with. Its about
what were taking in through our eyes in an overall sense. For instance, in some
ways Michael Moorcock is a bad writer. His syntax in some of his books is some
of the most primitive Ive ever come across from a classical British writer. In this
sense, hes a Pulp Writer. But if you take into account his entire vision, the mood
and feeling behind his vision of things like Elric of Melnibone, and various High
Pulp Fantasy Conan Wannabes, there really is something there. Something
quite literate and amazing just like Lord of the Rings, Conan, and Cerebus. Also, if
you really study how hes presenting and formatting the narration and description
in his stories, its like hes written the ultimate fantasy TV show or film script
outline, and its 150-450 pgs long! That is quite epic! His published work feels
more to me like my own script outlines than an actual novel like the kind Stephen
King and Tom Clancy write. Theres a big difference between some writers
presentations of style. There is a big difference between the presentation and

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8

format of Michael Moorcocks writing style, and that of Quentin Tarantinos

writing style. For starters, they work in completely different genres and mediums,
and neither of them tells or narrates stories the same way. And yet they are both
great, creative geniuses who happen to be writers.
Things interchangeably tied together:
Dance ChoreographyFight Choreography
DirectorExecutive Producer
AnimeManga
AnimationComics
Indie ComicsManga
Science RationalismReligion & Spirituality
Art and LiteratureScience and Technology
AsiaEurope
JapanChina
AmericaEurope
FranceCanada
JapanHawaii
Science-FictionFantasy
ActionAdventure
ArtMusic
FilmTV
Video GamesAnime
ActorVoice Actor
Comic BooksLiterature
InternetTV/Radio/Film
ComputerTV
Crime NovelFantasy Novel
HeroSuperhero
InformationMedia
SwordGun
VampireDemon
SamuraiNinja

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9

Pirate SwashbucklerSamurai Sword Wielder

WesternSamurai Lore
Im pretty much going through a cocoon phase. Some might view it as an
ostrich phase, where he only thinks hes in a cocoon. Im in hiding. I enjoy
hiding away from the world.
No wonder I want to move out west. My brother is a venomous narcissist,
constantly bragging about career advancement which he never actually attains,
and impossible to live with. The entire reason I want to move and live on the other
side of the country is to cut myself off from him and his daily venom, verbal
ambushes, sabotage of my relationship with my parents, and general abuse. He is
the general cause of any and all of my problems. I need to separate myself from
him physically, for good, forever. There is no salvation or redemption from being
near this formerly little, but now big and quite abusive bully of a family tyrant for
too long. The only cure to his plague is to sever ties with him. Permanently.
Animation professionals are definitely cool in a way Hollywood and live action
TV pros never will be.
Drugs are bad. Theyre all illegal. And they kill you. That or make you star in a
porno. Is there something you do not understand about this?
A lot of people are into risky and or illegal activity, like sex and drugs. Ive never
done either of those ever. Sex isnt really illegal, but it is risky if you hate the idea
of having to raise kids like Andrew, as I do. I also dont really socialize. I abstain
from numerous dangerous activities. My life really isnt that eventful, dramatic,
dangerous, or threatening. The drama and violence is really where my narcissistic
sibling is.
Famous French Geniuses:

Jean Paul-Sartre
Jean-Luc Godard
Albert Camus
Thomas Romain
Savin-Yeatman Eiffel

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10

Eugene Delacroix
Honore de Balzac
Charles Baudelaire
Famous French Geniuses: (Continued)

Jean Cocteau
Gustave Flaubert
Victor Hugo
Jean Piaget
Francois Truffaut
Voltaire
Emile Zola
Jean Cocteau
Michel Godry
Paul Cezanne
Paul Gauguin
Edward Manet
Henri Matisse
Claude Monet
Jacques Derrida
Rene Descartes
Blaise Pascal

Wednesday, April 13, 2011,

I dont draw to be popular anymore. Its a bad idea to rely on your art to attain
profit and popularity. Its like gambling. Theres never any kind of guarantee. Not
even a small one.
When it comes to my style, and the market, I see a void in the market. I draw
exactly the kind of art I want to see, not what youd want to see, or what anyone
else wants to see. Its all about what kind of art I want to see. Art by other artists
doesnt satisfy my aesthetic desire. Only I can fill that void. Most art feels empty to
me, and not in a good way. Im one of my own favorite artists, because I draw
exactly what I want to see.

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11

Im my own focus group. I know I love it. And if I like one of my pieces of art, I
know theres a fair amount of professionals and art appreciators out there who will
like it too.
Honestly, I think theres a little bit of Moebius (Jean Giraud) in not only Katsuhiro
Otomo but all the modern day manga and anime greats. I just realized I draw like a
French comics artist. I always have. Its in my blood and genetics (DNA). God
blessed me with the extremely intelligent and analytical creative ability of your
typical French or Chinese Comics/Literature/Philosophy/Cinema artist. By nature,
by blood, everything I do wants to be deeply intelligent and creative.
Ive tried to preach to the world the aesthetic superiority and genius of Hong Kong
cinema, the French New Wave, and French animation, and especially French
comics from the golden era, but everyone ignores me when I do that. So my only
option is to incorporate its archetypes and turn them into my own mythological
design archetypes, and expose these amazing archetypes to people this way. The
showing-by-example way. The first thing I notice about French comics is their
superior draftsmanship, textures, line quality, proportions, and design. A lot of
Katsuhiro Otomos mechanical design textures originated in French comics, most
notably the Moebius mechanical and architectural design textures that factored into
Blade Runners production design, Akira, and later, Ghost in the Shell. Manga
actually looks a bit watered down compared to the best retro Franco-Belgian
comics. In my opinion, its just as good as manga, and if I can find it for sale
online, I predict its going to take up a large share of my floor and shelf space,
where all my comics and books go.
Theres also a lot of philosophers and philosophy to get caught up on.
I guess it is okay to return to art lessons with Donna, as long as Im only trying to
please myself, which I am, and am not trying to please the masses. If I do return to
lessons with Donna, Im going to be relaxed about it. You can never have too
much art education, as long as your teacher has talent and isnt too authoritarian
like some of my early teachers were.
But hey, Im a comics artist with French and Chinese blood. I guess I can do no
wrong. Not to sound arrogant or anything, but Im invincible.

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12

Every time I drive downtown to see my childhood therapist, someone in traffic or

some billboard hassles me somehow. Theres always a lot of roadblocks and
obstructions when you go to the Winter Park Poor Peoples Hangout.
Money kind of bugs me. Its like thats the only thing people around this
neighborhood and house care about. I have a lot of enemies now, when I barely
have any money. Due to human nature, when I actually make a lot of money, Im
sure Ill have 100x more bullies in my life. It would be like being one of the news
buzznames all over the headlines. A lot of people are going to hassle and threaten
me. Its better I accept it now, and not be shocked by such hostility once my bank
account expands in size. Not going into figures, but some tell me if Im successful
Ill make 12 figures. No one is really aware of that secret of mine yet though. Not
beyond what kind of public statements Ive made. Money nowadays is a downright
mythological concept. People are mostly angry they dont have more of it, and they
resent those who have attained such status, regardless of who they are. Everything
is a factor in why people hate you when youre rich. If youre me, obviously some
racists arent going to be happy about it if they are made aware a colored ethnic
is worth more money than theyre even able to conceive of. Ive heard the horror
stories.
And a lot of people abuse me, which leads to quite a few money vengeance
fantasies. Thoughts of When I am king you will be first against the wall, with
your opinion which is of no consequence at all, because I am a paranoid android.
Cary gets pissed whenever I buy ANYthing without consulting him first. What a
hypocrite.
Eurasian Comics Choreography Secrets:
When drawing impact of movement in action, when things collide with one
another, always draw the camera view in freeze frame, a split second after there
has been a collision of movement through two colliding forces. This is how the
Japanese manga-ka choreography action in Japan, when it is on a comics panel or
computer screen.

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13

Funny thing. But when you think about my bloodline, it does make sense. The
truth, the real truth about anime, manga, and comics overseas, is this. Theres other
things out there than just Bleach and the Japanese manga market. In France and
Belgium, there are like a million other mes working there! In France/Belgium,
theres like a million professional comic book artists who are just like me that no
one in America knows about! Why?? Because theyre not promoted in America. A
LOT of people are completely unaware of French-Belgium comic books, even
though they utilize an aesthetic just like mine. In other words, there are artists just
as amazing as me out there, but because I live in Central Florida of all places
instead of France or Belgium, people just assume Im a freak occurrence. A one
man act. Far from it. Its geographic displacement is what it is. People in America
just assume all there is out there is Spongebob / Family Guy on TV all day and that

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14

gawdawful Bleach series. The American manga and comics market BOTH
openly ignore the France-Belgium comics market. Theres a lot more to it than just
Moebius / Totally Spies. French/Belgium comics are VERY designy, VERY
eccentric, detailed, textural, and amazing. Ive seen quite a few of them. They all
have French names. And they all love guns, swords, fabric, detailed cityscapes, and
noir trenchcoats. Everyone in America claims or at least thinks or pretendsthat
my drawings suck, that I draw everything simplistically and the wrong WAY,
asshole. Thats America for you. In France, theyre not so quick to jump into the
spectacle of American pseudo-snobbery, and thank god for that. People in America
say the same thing about French animation (it sucks!), so at least Im not alone
in my style or opinion. French geniuses get hassled by American opinion all the
time too. Freedom Fries anyone? Not exactly a relationship of brotherly love.
Bad diplomatic relationships hurt the entertainment industry too.
In terms of international art, I am one of the next generation Western Art Masters.
Im influenced by all the places my mixed heritage and lineage comes from, from
The American North and south, to Europe, to West and Southeast Asia.
Every time I sit down at one of my desks to sketch and draw, I think, How would
the French-Belgium comics market approach design-drawing this piece.
All of the worlds best design work is hidden away in French and Japanese comics
and animation studios, never to be seen by Americans outside of specialty retail
and certain websites on the internet. Where you at, we got the whole COUNTRY
behind us!
Storyboards: OTOMO, Sim, Moebius, Jhonen, McFarlane
Outlines and Script: Quentin Tarantino, Jean-Paul Sartre, Thomas Romain,
Yoshiyuki Tomino, Robert E. Howard, Michael Moorcock
Production Design: Corey Jackson, Syd Mead, Jhonen, Japan
Animation Production: France 3, Marathon, Production I.G., JM, Titmouse
2012 is not going to be a bad year. And its certainly not the end of the world. But
a lot of cool eventful stuff will be happening that year. Whether its Barack
Obamas presidency, good movies and comics and manga/anime, or the 2012

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15

Auteurs We Love List by Animation Magazine, and a lot of big releases in

entertainment, its easy to see how that could be mistaken for the Apocalypse.

You mean, Im not gonna get my own show?? You mean to tell me, all that
bullshit I put up with from assholes, fags, and losers on my TV and computer
screens was for nothing?? I get nothing out of it?? Yup. Pretty much. Life sucks.
Get over it. Its nice having ambition, but its important. The thing is, TV isnt a
solitary medium. There are no one man operations in traditional TV broadcasting
like there are in literary publishing, self-publishing, and the internet, and hence
numerous, endless problems arise from this assumed cooperation. Id hardly call
team cooperation what passes for TV shows these days. I like not working in
television. I prefer publishing and the international market. Maybe if I quit TV, the
media corporations (i.e. the Illuminati) will stop slandering, spying on, and
harassing me in their shows. I have no control over what happens in TV. TV is
dead to me; literally, its a dying medium. And a dirty mudslinging political one. If
someone on my TV insults me, its not my concern. Ill just respond in the
mediums I can control, i.e. comics, books, technology, and the web 2.0. Why
would I want to compete in a medium/genre I have no control in (i.e. TV). Thats
part of why it doesnt bother me like it used to. You dont need TV just to get big,
famous, and powerful. I already am those things, and the only show Ive worked
on is lowly GoAnimeTV. Thats my first, last, and only claim to fame. There is no
future for me in TV like there was at one point, so Id better start aligning my
priorities in the proper non-television based direction now, while the gettings
good. Anime is out too

France has a very good relationship with Japan. The United Kingdom and China
dont, though, or so Ive read. Franco-Belgian, Franco-Japanese, Franco-American,
Sino-Japanese, Sino-American, Eurasian, Eurasian-American, sino-English; it gets
complicated. And confusing! Some of those relations are not so good. Some are
amazingly diplomatic and peaceful.

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16

Favorite comics type things: Image Comics, Dark Horse Comics, Jhonen Vasquez,
Spawn, Cerebus, AKIRA, Katsuhiro Otomo, Hiroaki Samura, Moebius, Enki Bilal,
Blacksad, Blueberry, Incal, Star Wars, Conan, Blueberry, Code Lyoko, Bruno
Brazil, The Forever War, The Incal, Amazon.fr comics section

I finished even more art today. Im happy with how it turned out.

Im considering moving overseas to pursue drawing French comics professionally

as an expatriate, Felipe Smith style, except I wont be going to Japan. Ill draw
comics in France, if at all possible. I hate what American comics in the mainstream
have become most of the time. But I absolutely love what French and Japanese
comics have become, and what French comics are becoming. I think Mono and his
Parallax Album and its Tomes would fit in just fine over in the Franco-Belgian
market. If nothing else, Im going to order a lot of comics from the French
Amazon.fr website, just as Im ordering anime art books from Amazon.co.jp lately.
This material Im ordering from overseas is serving as great inspiration. I get good
vibes from France. Paris and all that.

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Well, Im going to have to x Tokyopop off of my submissions list, even though

they did seem like the easiest most obvious choice to submit material to. Their
closing in North America.

That leaves the following:

French Comics Album Publishers

Yen Press
Seven Seas Manga
Image Comics
Dark Horse Comics

Labor intensive work is becoming a huge trend with me. I spent around 1 to 2
hours on the following piece:

I applied the rendering techniques Rima Jabbur herself taught me and Bam, Voila!
Masterwork. No one in manga really renders fine art with a no. 2 pencil and eraser
the way I do. This is starting to realize the vision I have for my work ethic. Ive

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18

been visualizing myself getting more uncomfortable, spending more time on each
drawing, the French method, which is what I used in this instance, and this stuff is
turning out beyond Good. I finally invented a new stylistic technique for my bag of
tricks: Fine art comics. Ive seen people like Alex Ross use the technique, but I
never thought I myself would master it as well. Viva La France! France will not
know what hit it.
Since Im me, I can never have one style for too long. Each of my styles, one after
another, is born, lives, and dies, and then its on to the next one:
Favorite Genres in French Comics

Science-Fiction
Heroic Fantasy
Fantastique
Mystery and Suspense
Manga (import)
Manwha (import)

American books which are big in France:

Sin City
Ronin
Batman
Spawn
Battle Chasers
Priest
Akira

Im not out to make money or get famous. Im out to find a place where I belong,
and where I belong is France and the French comics scene. Even if only in spirit
and media distribution.
In art:
Lack of definition makes a composition muddy

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Black, thick ink black, establishes a pages weight and heaviness. Light white
pages have no weight or heaviness at all.

For drawing, supplies:

Mechanical pencil, for panel/page layouts

Tracing Paper, for proportions and research
Light Table, for cleanup and inking
Scissors, scanner, Digital Image Pro, for cutting and pasting panel images
Digital Image Pro, for black ink fill-ins

My greatest teachers:

Katsuhiro Otomo
Todd McFarlane
Jhonen Vasquez
Robert E. Howard
George Lucas
Moebius
Akira Toriyama
Jamie Hewlett
Dave Sim
Hiroaki Samura
Bruce Timm
John Woo
Yasuhiro Nightow
Min-Woo Hyung
French Comics
Yoshiyuki Sadamoto
Fung Chin Pang

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20

Bill Gates has Windows and Microsoft. I have the Parallax empire and YouTube
anime.
Im not making it a secret that I do in fact want to be included in the French comic
book market. I want to follow in the footsteps of Moebius and Enki Bilal, along
with all the newer French artists I have yet to truly appreciate, but will when I buy
their albums.
Im an auteur. Every piece of art I do is perfect.
When it comes to comics art, film, and illustration, they dont get more detailed
than Moebius. He was the original pioneer and revolutionary. He influenced all the
hyperdetail revolutionaries: Blade Runner, Star Wars, Cyberpunk, Ghost in the
Shell, Marvel, Todd McFarlane, Image, Katsuhiro Otomo, science-fiction, manga,
anime, Steampunk, Invader Zim, Franime, Avatar: The Last Airbender.
This early afternoon, I dreamed about my above-average, hidden, strength, and
power, which I am able to use to inspire awe.
Im an artist with French blood. That means all my art is flawless and perfect.
Everything I do is perfect. My lines are flawless and Godlike.
Im a perfectionist who achieves perfection. Im perfect. Flawless. Godlike.
International. Eurasian.
Im going to draw 5 to 7 volumes, with each of them being 100 pages long each.
Im going to focus on 50 to 100 pages at a time.
The Franco-Belgian Style:
No matter how detailed some of their art gets, every French artist does their share
of simple, squiggly, bad drawings. Its part of the process. Doing crap drawings
is just another small conquerable part of the art process. This is the process it takes
to create great art. French artists seem to stigmatize simple and primitive drawings
quite a bit less than the Japanese do, and yet what the French do with comics is the
closest Western equivalent there is to manga, purely due to how detailed and
stylistic the perspective and production design is.
Work is getting easier. Im staying with it more

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21

Ive got better thing to do than sit around in my room, laying on my bed, fretting
over the next time I start work and continue working. Suddenly I dont have as
much anxiety attached to my pencils and paper as I did between 2003-2010. Thats
almost a decade I spent fretting over the effortless creation of ingenious FrancoAmerican drawings. I was very insecure about criticism and attacks from TV and
the web at one point. Thats pretty much faded away now that Im not concerned
about looking good online, and dont upload art to my computer or have a
webcam, much, if ever. All the fretting, anxiety, and horrific fear have vanished,
leaving room for a calm, peaceful, centered more highly evolved artist. I dont
draw worse than I ever have. And I dont draw better. Because Im getting older,
Im also becoming more relaxed. Wisdom, age, time, and experience have
mellowed me considerably. Im glad I dont have that teenaged art anxiety
anymore, like I did right after I failed art school. Just go with the flow, Joe,
yknow?
Now that I think about it, its probably a bad thing to think all that shitty shit is
based on me. It ISNT based on me, not if you ask me. Im too cool to inspire
something that lame.
Areas Ive mastered:

Costume Design
Hyper-detailed character design
Positive and Negative Space
Notan
Architecture
Abstract Sketch
Pencil Fine Art

Areas I have yet to master:

Full Compositions
Filling Panels Up With Real Art
Depth of Field in (full) Compositions
Choreography
Cleanup

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Fan respect

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1

Chapter 55
(Windows Vista)

P a g e | 88
2
Thursday, April 21, 2011,

Im an early explorer and pioneer, of the contemporary international arts and media scene.
American-World International Relations
Franco-American Relations
Franco-Japanese Relations
Sino-American Relations
Anglo-American Relations
Sino-French Relations
Franco-Belgian Comics Relations
Sino-Japanese Relations
Sino-American Relations
Japanese-American Relations
Sino-French Relations
Can you really pick and choose your regions of diplomacy like I seem to be making and effort to
attempt doing though? I like to study cultural international relations, and countries national
identities as they relate to each other. This intermingling of national identities, art, media, and
cultures derives very much from not only my own bloodline, but also from my upbringing with
world entertainment during my late adolescence.
Im a studier and appreciator of binational relations. Binational is a new word. Most world
negotiations and diplomacy are attained and negotiated on a binational level, not a pan-national
level. You achieve harmony and respect between nations 1 to 2 nations at a time.

Ive just recently taken an interest in marketing as it relates to behavioral economics and the
endowment effect. The truth is, if were talking about marketing things we like, for the most
part, buyers, whether new or old, really only like buying things they think they already have in
the same or another form on some level. Its a subliminal, subconscious thing. If you can appeal
to peoples property possession subliminally, but also psychologically so they make that
association, its 100 times easier to sell to them.
Man, Florida has one of the highest crime rates in the entire United States, and the United States
itself has the highest violent crime rate. No wonder the news reports so many murders and rapes
in Florida. There are a lot of them each year. Theyre all over the place. Though the news is
sensationalist, there is some truth there, like the high crime rate in Florida.

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3

Emotional-Feeling-Economics Marketing Strategy:

Always appeal to the part of peoples desire to buy things

related to what they already possess. (Their Collection of
possessions)
Never sell something on innovation and revolution alone.
Emphasize
old
possessive
associations,
not
new
paradigmsright away anyway.
Too much innovation (change) is traumatic. Dont overload
your buyer. Let them try a little / buy a little.
Sell familiar names and faces to give people comfort
Make people comfortable by utilizing the things at least some
of them are familiar with.
Dont sell with negativity and harshness. Make people,
everyone, feel comfortable, welcome, and good.
Think of all the things out there youve ever wanted or
attained and got the most, or a lot of, benefit out of, and
apply that desire to the minds of buyers other people. Do they
want the same things you want? Not always, but sometimes
they do. Sell to those people, the people most like yourself on
some or many levels. Find psychological commonality.
Have empathy for your consumers. Revel in commonality.
Dont bother people. Dont be blatantly or intentionally
annoying, especially on purpose. Annoyance achieves only one
goal. It angers and annoys us. It doesnt sell jack shit.
AstrologyTalk:

To me, the most powerful media is the kind thats able to and capable of inspiring the largest
amount of wonderment and awe that inspires across many generations. Scorpios are not the only
awe-inspiring whoa-getting Zodiac signs (theres also Aries and Sagittarius), but they are some
of the best, most efficient at it.
The Power and Magic of Awe
When something inspires awe in entertainment, we do see it as possessing a fantastical form of
magic, something that also inspires awe. Wonderment, awe, magic, wonder to behold. If you
dont feel an awe-inspiring reaction in yourself from watching other peoples work, youre not
going to inspire it in anyone else. I associate awe with wonder, spirituality, surprise, secrecy, and
inspiration. Fear? Not so much. Not all enormous and big things should or have to be scary. Its

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dishonorable to approach the feeling of awe in such a way. Some, like the Pyramids and
mansions, are inspirational. It depends on the context.
Wonder Boy. What is the Secret of Your Power.
Wonderboy
Tenacious D

POWER POINTS: My powerful Scorpio energy manifests itself most noticeably in the things I
build with my Master Builder 22, INTP Architectural and Systematic energy. My systems are
more powerful than my actual technique. Their foundation is heavier and more secure, and go
beyond me even from the very start. But my Master Builder and Scorpio Rational NT show most
visibly in the areas of cutting edge technology and pioneering/revolutionary media arts, for film,
art, and literature, or comics and animation. When Im working in comics is when and where I
get to show my True Scorpio Power and Colors. Its a Steamroller, most definitely, kind of like
Katsuhiro Otomo and Dave Sim. Questioned, but Still In Command; Still Captain of the Ship. My
Scorpio Power will help lead a technological and Literary Media Arts Revolution, and were
already seeing signs of this power at work on a perennial basis in many ways. The result is aweinspiring power that only those with an equal amount of natural power possess. I can spot fakers
and pretenders pretty easily (i.e. marketing pyramid schemes). The real irony, is that my own
original nickname (Joe) was turn into the opposite of power by the way the media
presented it, and therefore its also become a real weakness in the way the public and media
perceives it. If you want people to think you are NOT powerful, go on TV calling yourself
Joe when your real name is Brian. JM. James Matthew Strebler. Now thats a very
masculine, creative, and powerful name. Non-gender based for starters. You dont know whether
its a man or woman, but there are more males on TV with J-related acronym first names than
women. Ill say that much.
Friday, April 22, 2011,
Im incredibly happy that one of my favorite auteurs, John Lasseter, made the TIME Worlds
100 Most Influential List. Well, he is the modern day Walt Disney in many ways. But I like
being happy for colleagues and peers like him. People who deserve the praise, not people who
dontas it should be. Hes as normal and down to earth as I am, only a lot more respected and
famous. In some ways, he is a symbol for all I aspire and hope to achieve in animation and
comics one day. Tim Burton, Todd McFarlane, Jhonen Vasquez, Osamu Tezuka, OTOMO, and
Tolkien have not made the TIME 100 as of now. But it would be cool if they did.
22 seems to be my lucky Career Number, the sign of the Master Builder

Laptop Journal 22: Steve Blum becomes my colleague and friend

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April 22, 2011: I find out John Lasseter makes TIMEs Worlds 100 Most influential
People list

Steve Blum, John Lasseter, George Lucas, and Todd McFarlane are 4 of my favorite colleagues
and potential future friends.
My Notans are getting more abstract. Notans can be used to make patterns for abstract art, or
they can be used for comic book and animation compositions. My Notans are very black around
90% of the time. The traditional--and still typical to this daymanga composition, even in books
like Dragon Ball Z, Tezuka, Ghost in the Shell, Blade of the Immortal, and Akiraall my
favoritesunless its French, Spawn, Jhonen, or Sin City, unless its one of those American
comics, the composition is going to end up looking very, very gray and white. Normally in
Japanese manga of all sorts, if not all of it, not a lot of black is used in the majority of
compositions, and it doesnt really have any existentialism in it. None of that weight of darkness
to it. For the most part it seems like most manga artwork is meant to be light reading. Not heavy
reading like Spawn, Franco-Belgian comics, or Sin City. Manga pages dont have existential and
psychological weight to them the way Notans do, even when Notan is very popular design
concept with the Japanese. The Japanese, in one sense, use real neo-noir Notan shading quite
sparingly.

The Mono Chronicles

Things to focus on:

Storytelling
Narration
Story
Plot
Point A Point Z
Establishing a scene
Dialogue
Verb sentences
Visual Transitions
Transitioning
Motion
Freeze Frame

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Secrets of the Comic Book Page:

The real secret to How to Create Comic Books, and Their Pages lies in the panels. The secret
behind a good comics page and a bad one lies in how much thought, effort, and energy is put into
designing, drawing, and constructing each panel.
Sometimes, in order to reach and get into Heaven, youre forced by God to go through hell.
Why is it like that for me?

Im really starting to like the idea of individualizing panels. Im going to need to take
storyboards and comics pages one panel at a time. It will take forever to do all that new artwork,
but if I face it with the right motivation and intention, it wont be that difficult to adjust to doing.
Basically I primarily copy full page drawings from books like Akira by drawing them full page
size, then I shrink them downuntil I can draw my own.

Im a creative genius. I have a LOT of creative power. I can write anything. I can draw many
things. I can strategize and engineer things that change the face of civilization.
For me, drawing and art arent just a form of recreation and leisure. Theyre also a weapon. Art
can be used as a weapon.
I do have a primary source of income: Social Security paychecks. Other than that, my career in
showbusiness earns me pretty much nothing.
Comics is a pretty artist-dominant medium. Most of my real heroes in comics are more artists
than they are writers, with exceptions like writers such as Dave Sim, Aaron McGruder, and
Masamune Shirow.
Yeah, I can write and draw a 3,000+ pg. stack of papers, filled with 50% art, 50% writing. Just
dont ask me to make sense of it. Dont ask me to make an epic, or even coherent narrative out of
it.
BOOKMARK:
Though I do fear them the most, I have an affinity for large and enormous things. As a natural
Sagittarius, I like big things. I dream about big things, or I did at one point. I like big books. I
like books with a lot of pages, really fat, thick books. Books, both cinematic and literary, that are
big in scope on some level or another, whether its the visual compositions, the themes, the scale
of the action and fighting, or a combination of all three/four things. Difficult life, be damned.
One way or another, the books I author when Im in my 30searly, mid, and lateare going to
be fat and big. As Ive decided, all my animation work will be just a branch of my distinctive

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primarily black-and-white visual comic book style. Tools of the trade?Swords, blood, guns,
and martial arts. Its going to be stock in trade, sort of like Scud: The Disposable Assassin TP in
some ways, but also like DBZ. This series has become my burden. Its the weight of my
decision to bear the responsibility of creating a new genre of literary epic, something thats never
been seen before. When Im the one working on it, as I am, thats nearly almost a guarantee:
That it will be original in many ways. Power in literature, much as people like to deny it, IS
defined by page count. Anyone who makes it to my level of pages3,000+ and countingis
going to be at a pretty powerful and high level of experience, not to brag or anything. I like the
way the Vision of my Universe is stacking up on paper, but its only going to get better. Ill only
stop improving and stop working once Im dead. Then I can call it quits: Once Im dead, which
isnt going to be until at least my 50s to 60s, or later. Ill have at least another 3,000 to 8,000
pages of comics, scripts, and literature done by then, and its going to be a hell of a lot more
polished by then too. 20002010 was my warm up period. I had to get a sense of what I was
doing with my life, was developing the formation of my current skill level, and honing my skills
and craft to perfection, to a more prepared state where Im more capable of telling a story with
pictures and words on paper and computer, and where Im at now, where I can harness this
enormous power of mine into something less abstract. Something more narrative and solid.
20002011 was my abstract conceptual development mode, the mode where Im allowed to be
sloppy and not worry about the end product. Now 20112030, is the period of my life where I
begin to ease into a phase where I polish more of my work and make it easier to enter a trance
like state: The Zone, or Productivity Zone, and really develop, design, clean up, and polish the
story as it is told in panels, transitions, camera shots, and basic visual narration. Damn. Im
getting exposition-y again. Im also going to curtail getting to exposition-based and epistolary or
monologue-ish about my actual productivity and work. This is talk, and talk is cheap. Ive begun
to realize this concept, and I can finally shut up for the most part and get to work on The real
story, The real narrative. No more bullshit explaining while getting nothing done. If Im
going to work on anything, its going to be my verbs and outlining / storytelling skills, doing the
math and figuring out how many scenes are in the average TV or comic book episode.

If your temperament is similar to mine, you too always strive to become the very people you
admire the most. The things theyve accomplished, within your own context, you want to be your
life accomplishments too. You want to compete with them and match what theyve done:
Names of Gods that come to mind?

Otomo Katsuhiro
Moebius
George Lucas
JRR Tolkien

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Thats kind of it for me. The rest of the names kind of branch down in my mind and in reality
from these four. In other words, I clearly seem to aspire to create one of the great magnum
opuses and modern classic of world narrative language and world cinematic literature. There
isnt a shortcut to this goal, it does take an insane amount of foresight, fortitude, storytelling
power, and wisdom. At the very least it wont happen until Im (at the very least) a full grown 40
to 50 something adult, or long after Im dead in the eyes of posterity at the most. This is a project
that goes Beyond Will Power. Beyond Patience. The rewards and the End Game of this Goal
Transcends both Time and Space. It pays well too, needless to say, what with getting royalty
checks for the rest of your natural life and beyond the grave. After all, the job of creating great
world cinema and literature is not for the impatient and overtly young and inexperienced. Nor is
it for the timid. Only the truly brave and strong can survive the grueling test of training, practice,
willpower, and execution and incredibly tidal wave of criticism and opposition that comes with
the territory of achieving something that great. This is what will define an auteurs strength in the
long run. Not brute force.
Im also giving myself the next 30 years to draw a few pages, and then learn to let that
momentum snowball into the 10s, then 100s, then 1,000s, then 10s of 1,000s. It will start off easy
enough. My journals and sketchbooks did after all. I need to go easy on myself while Im doing
this. I need to love myself with purity, not just my work. And Im not going to allow myself to
get fat or any fatter than I am now. Ive had it with that eating thing. But for the book, approach
it as it comes to you. Take it one page at a time, and dont get psyched out by the big powerful
picture and flip out at the scope of it. Dont think of it in such larger than life and death terms.
That doesnt help me or anyone else to think in such a self-defeatist way. And if Im writing
down the word fuck too much, thats a good indicator Im not loving what Im doing at the time.
Fuck = Hate, and if you say fuck a lot, deep down you probably hate what youre doing at the
time youre writing down the word fuck 50,000 times on the internet, in your journal, or
wherever. Thats very much an over-ambitious high school thing. Been there and done that.
Plenty sick of it.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011,

In comics youre actually able to draw the same image 20 different times, 20 different ways, in
20 different panels, with 20 different angles.
How is this so, you ask? All you have to do is use 20 different kinds of camera shots/angles to all
portray different shots of the same pose. Easy breezy. I actually havent tried this technique yet,
but Im going to.

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Ive just about had it with studying How to Draw Comics books. Education only goes so far.
Just because you read those books doesnt mean youll automatically master comics. There is a
necessity to study actual real comics and copy from them, not just studying books about comics.
Getting re-acquainted with the past:
Busted out my old comics collection. Shit man! Some cool fucking shit right here.
Some of my old favorites: Spawn, Blue Monday, The Punisher, Battle Chasers, Blade of the
Immortal, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Oh My Goddess!.
I just kind of decided I needed some newer inspiration. And since I got amnesia at one point, its
like a lot of them are new to me in a way.
Im a little skeptical of my art inclinations. I dont trust myself when it comes to mastering
certain things I draw. Its weird how Ill just abandon certain styles when I get really, really near
perfect at them. The thing is, Ive got to fight this tendency, to abandon everything I get good at.
If Im perfect at drawing Notan or fabric, Im going to need to linger there for at least 10 or more
drawings.
Artists who show the biggest influence from my fighting design style:

Min-Woo Hyung (Priest, Ghost Face)

George Lucas (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Force Unleashed)
FUNimation (Darker Than Black, Claymore, Devil May Cry)
Todd McFarlane (Spawn)
Man of Action (Generator Rex) (Ben 10)

Shows like Avatar, Generator Rex, Samurai Jack, and DBZ are taking fight sequences in
animation to the next level. My biggest influence in this area is the Shaw Brothers Studios, and
all the choreographers that their studio influenced (John Woo, Jackie Chan, Yuen Woo-Ping). I
also have yet to finished reading all of John Krengs Fight Choreography book. I kind of
skimmed the second half of the book, instead of studying and underlining the second half of the
book like I should.
Typically, Im calm and even tempered. But then God puts me next to the wrong person, and that
person, I honestly just want to light on fire and watch themBURN. For the rest of their life.
Like Team Rocket.
The three sort-of De Facto shows I refer to for the rhythm and timing of my fights and
compositions on the page would be (currently): Samurai Jack, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and
Generator Rex. But theyre not just well done shows. Theyre also quite a bit of fun to watch. Is
Generator Rex a bit light on its literary feet? Yes, but theres no denying the fight scenes are

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quite compelling. Lucasfilm, Genndy Tartakovsky, and Man of Action are amazing at stuff like
swords.
In a way, regardless of the medium I chooseart, writing, technologyits true what they say
about it. Its not just a natural ability. Its a virtuosic talent. Its no different than the kind of
genius OTOMO or Dave Sim or Todd McFarlane have. Any revolutionary, pioneeringor even
obscuretalent and skill is a blatant display of willpower, and in some cases, a force of nature.
Its like a train, it charges ahead regardless of whats going on in the world around it. I took a lot
of shit on DeviantART when I was there for approaching my art this way, secretly, while only
posting a few key Deviations, the ones I considered to be my best ones at the time, time and
time again. I was surprised at how much backlash I got for approaching my art in such a noncaring, superficial, untalented nature, like it didnt count for anything. Im a real life force of
nature. I know theres something taking place here that not all artists have. The Virtuosic
Force Element. Its like playing the piano for 6 to 10 hours straight. Except my tool is drawing
or office supplies and a laptop keypad. Turns out comics is the perfect medium for this type of
talent. Thank god Google Documents showed up out of nowhere finally. Now I finally have a
direct way of linking my creative works and projects to the masses online for free. As long as I
link it to one of my mainstream venues like Monocomics.com, JMStrebler.com, or Blogger,
among a sufficient number of others, I think Ill be just fine. Google Document Downloads is a
life saver. What a great way to share my work, my latest masterpiece.
There are consequences to my parents keeping me as an adopted prisoner in their Floridian
summer house for the rest of my life: I might never have a career, Ill never have another day
job, the media will never see me in my element, Ill probably stay fat (because theyll continue
force feeding me), Ill be waiting and letting time pass by and wont be able to do anything about
it. Ill never have the career I desire. I wont be permitted to travel or fly. I might never get hired
or rich in a career. My circle of friends and influence will remain subtle, limited, and cut off. Ill
continue being stuck force fed anti-psychotic medications against my will, and if I rebel theyll
continue to not let me talk to lawyers or regular people, only baker action, hospitals, and doctors.
My influence will continue to be exclusive to TV and the web. Ill continue being obese. My
career and mark on business and entertainment will never start. Ill never get rich. The
mainstream medias view of me will continue to be indoctrinated and overshadowed by my
adoptive parents and adoptive brother (and Floridian residents) view of me, and NOT my actual
real friends and birth familys view of me: People who actually like me have no say into how the
world itself views me nowadays. Theyre more influenced by Andrew, Cary, and Peggys rather
biased and shameful opinions of me, than Im sure anyone at Viacom, Time Warner, or any other
shitty media company would ever choose or like to admit. Its their Dirty Little Secret: Shut up,
Boy! Were talking here!!!! These are the results and consequences of my adoptive parents
trying to force me to live with them.

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I like when my father protects me. Like when he puts the smackdown on teenage prostitutes who
try to hit on me when Im out in public. He aint having any of that shit, and neither am I. Its
kind of fun to watch them get arrested for this type of salesmanship. Im not joking when I say
Im not into that. And that includes letting my dad kick their asses if they approach me when Im
out in public and they see me. No way Im getting caught up in prostitute drama. I dont want
sex THAT badly. Actually, I dont want sex at all. Some girls simply dont understand this, and
are persistent in trying to sell me sex digitally or in person nonetheless. These Andrew-esque
advances from girls dont make me comfortable. Why do younger girls keep trying to rape me
and attempt to get revenge and work their wiles on me everywhere I go? Its quite disturbing.
Im on a strict no-fangirl diet.
I know my family, and I know when theres real scandal going on with me and my family, my
family is not only tight lipped and dismissive about the reality of my and therefore the worlds
life situation, it isnt just that: Theyre manipulative, and they lie about everything. Like the Joe
Clones, The Internet gossip, Neighbors, the Joe-Is-a-Sleazebag hype and rumors, media
persecution and blacklisting of one of Hollywoods most popular players.
Saturday, April 30, 2011,
Im going to write Mono Chronicles the old fashioned way: 1 scene and 1 situation at a time.
I will be writing a bunch of short form narratives and short stories at a time, as part of a large
scale narrative that ties them all together. Or I can make each episode self contained on one
level.
I could never charge money for my work, or sell my work. I work for free. Nothing Ive
produced will ever be for sale or have sponsorship on TV. I dont work for money. This is a form
of creative altruism for me. My main source of income will always come from my poverty. My
main source of income will continue to be social security paychecks for a long time.
Being at the top of the entertainment hierarchy is one huge game, and one huge competition.
Even with the rise of the internet, its the most desired and limited place to be, almost everybody
wants to be there, and there are like a million people working in the industry, while everyones
crawling over and stepping on everyone else to get to the top of the hierarchy, theres probably
less than 10 or 20 spots at the top available to be filled, to be the Akira Toriyamas, Musashi
Kishimotos, and Todd McFarlanes of the world. Its like an entertainment dynasty. The people
who do make it to the very top get to have their vision seen everywhere and anywhere, 24/7.
Their aint much room at the top. Theres 1,000s of people competing, and 99% dont make the
cut. The nature of success is hyper-competitiveness.
Technological Powers:

Upload to YouTube

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Author DVDs
Author TV-DVDs
Author Mixtape CD
Watch Roku (Hulu Plus, Netflix, Crunchy Roll)
Record TV with DVR
Use HTPC to watch computer videos in bed
Organize Videos
Watch YouTube, Veoh, Toonzaki, Hulu, Crunchy Roll, Funimation.com
Rip DVDs
Edit With Windows Movie Maker
Watch Amazon Unbox
DVD-Recorder DVD Player

I did get anime onto YouTube in 2005.

And YouTube went on to win the TIME Invention of the Year Award on November 7th 2006.
Thats 1 Degree of Separation from winning an award for ingenious contributions to humanity.
Thats one accomplishment of mine. I won TIMEs Invention of the Year Award indirectly! Still
counts though.
Empires I Built and Helped to Build:

YouTube
Google
Anime
Cartoon Network
Adult Swim
Manga
The Internet
Streaming Video Online
Streaming Anime Video

Characteristics of my Empires:

10 or more billion dollars in profit (private wealth)

Billions of viewers (Worldwide audience)
100%+ Growth in Half a Decade
Positive Press

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Press Coverage
Buzz
Respect
Millions of Devoted Fans
Fame and Icon Status
Vast influence and brand recognition
Brand Status
Corporate and Media Innovation

These are the type of things I can attain if I am credited and promoted by my bosses properly.
These are the type of benefits the world will see I become as powerful as I hope to be.
Franchises and Mythos, and Franchise Mythos are their own universes. Theyre like an actually
real world very much so in the fact that the audience, viewers, and readers get to actually
traverse them, and get to know all the inhabitants of these alternate realities. A Franchise or
mythology is a window to another world, a foreign, alien world. Building such a world or
universe, building an alternate reality from scratch, be it Cerebus, DBZ, Naruto, Computers,
Software, The Internet, YouTube, anime franchises, Spawn, Star Wars, and other huge alternate
worlds is the Master Builders and INTP Architects dream. Mythopoeia is very aligned with the
Master Builder and INTPs value systems. The system is the alternate world and universe.
New Parallax Villain:
THE BEAST Inspired by TV, the internet, technology, the weather, and Andrew
The BEAST is not so much a character as it is a negative force for evil Force, Manifested. It
doesnt show up. It manifests, and its incredibly scary, dark, violent and powerful. Its
pandemonium incarnate, chaos manifest.
In my real life, The Beast was Brian Johnston. Now its my adoptive brother Andrew. He is The
Beast when he gets really angry. Hes a potential Antichrist in my personal world. Its
impossible to be completely safe around The Beast, and Hes It. His tantrums put this entire
family in the middle of the Fiery Pit of Hell. I dont think he realizes how evil his is sometimes.
Im changing my last name, from Strebler to James Macabre. Getting sick of all the sex
Strebler innuendos on TV. Why do they think Im stuck with the name Strebler just because
my official website uses it? I can change my name 100 timesif I want to. My name is never
permanent
May 2, 2011,
Osama Bin Laden, dead. Killed in Pakistan, in a well-to-do house,

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Osama Bin Laden, Worlds Most Wanted Terrorist and Criminal: Dead 1957
2011
His reign of terror is over. The tyrant, terrorist, evil religious zealot, and anti-American murderer
is finally dead. Its been a long wait, and a long time coming, but Barack Obama and his military
unit has achieved what George W. Bush and his infamous presidency never could. That news
made me so excited last night. As soon as I found out I ran across the house and yelled at my
parents to turn on the TV, there was a good surprise waiting for them. They turned on the TV
and were all awe struck, just as I suspected they would. I like surprising people with present,
particularly my family. Egyptian protests and Cairo celebration aside, this is a huge stepping
stone towards True Peace in the Middle East and North Africa. Terrorism is clearly on the way
out. Democracy is all the rage. The course of history has been altered, shifted, and changed by
the American government yet again.
If I do leave the country and live overseaswhich I probably will, considering what a hassle it is
living here with all this chaosit still probably wont happen for a while.
Finally, I have an HDMI compatible TV in my room, so now my laptop computer and big screen
TV, are both connected in my room, along with Roku, the DirecTV box, and my DVD PlayerRecorder.
Videos to watch on my TV:

Netflix
Hulu+
Amazon Video On Demand
My DVD Collection
My ripped and downloaded video collection
Crunchyroll
Toonzaki
4KidsTV.com
Funimation.com
YouTube
Veoh
Theanimenetwork.com
Manga.com

Those are all now compatible with the flatscreen TV in my room/office/studio.

Content nowadays in broadcasting is mostly of a nonlinear nature, ever since Tivo and DVR
came out, its revolutionized both entertainment technology, and content distribution through

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broadcasting it. YouTube, Hulu, the HTPC, and Roku have kind of been icing on the cake. Never
before has TV and video watching been so nonlinear and been so influenced by place-shifting
and time-shifting. Dont like whats airing during the daytime. Thats easy, just pick out one of
the numerous non-linear based content programs available on the internet and stream it on your
TV via HDMI cable, or watch one of your favorite shows on Roku during that time instead.
Problem solved! TV watching just got a lot more comfortable. No longer is the viewer at the
mercy of mediocre programming. The viewer can program his or her own high quality
programming 24/7/365. And the selection of content will only become more vast and diverse as
time goes on and more people upload and broadcast more programming, TV shows, and movies
to be watched, both old and new, from numerous entertainment media studios and companies.
This is the most freedom Broadcasting has ever experienced in its entire history and its all
thanks to YouTube, DVR, and the HTPC-TV.
What makes me so high and mighty anyway? My arrogance isnt even justified anymore. What
have I done lately thats so smart or intelligent anyway. Nowadays I attract nothing but scum and
dumb people, and its entirely because they know of me from the internet. But I never know
them. Cuckoo nutjobs come out of the woodwork and gravitate towards you when you get
famous. Yes, Im famous, but Im not smart anymore. Im as dumb as a rock. I probably dont
even have a high IQ anymore. So I can engineer technology and run my own websites and invent
technological systems and author PARALLAX. Big deal. That doesnt prove Im smarter than
you. It probably makes me dumber. Im such a dumbass. I question the validity of my current
arsenal of linguistic skills. Im successful, and famous, and an icon. And powerful. But Im not
intelligent. I just have engineering and creative skills. Im a big bag of trouble. Nobody wants to
bear my burden. Including me. No one, including me, can handle my burden. And you know
what? I cant exactly say I blame them. Maybe the propaganda is right. Maybe I am dumb. They
have everyone believing how dumb I am because I got good grades in school. Maybe I should
fall for this ruse too. I may as well, considering the fact that everyone bought this crock of shit.
So may I should too.
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Truth is, royalties from IP Licensing is the only way Im really ever going to be able to make any
money in a career of any sort. Its a good way to make a ton of money, like 6 and 7 figures.
Well, if I suck compared to everyone else, at the very least, my drawing chops and power can
smoke Piros any day of the week, along with most other American manga artists. I have more
talent than all of those guys. Plain and simple. Fred cant compose a camera angle or fight scene,
or layout, or ink composition to save his life.
I can. End of Story.

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If theres one thing that really, REALLY pisses me off to the point of murdering you, it would be
when someone calls me a loser like my brother seems to take perverse and compulsive pleasure
in doing. Every I hear the word loser I want to put a shotgun barrel in Andrews face and pull
the trigger. Cant call me a loser anymore. Youve got a hole in your face. He also claims Im not
a genius, when his IQ is about as low as a scumbags will go, limbo style.
But look at OTOMO. He lives in a universe he created. And he never seems to lash out at
anybody, even when they insult him. What a respectable man. Its like nothing gets to that guy.
Why cant I be more powerful, more forceful and foundational in my talent, and less angry, like
him. Hes a my hero. Even when he has the weight of the world, both anime and Japanese, on his
shoulders, and he never once backs down. His castle still stands and will for the rest of recorded
history. I only wish I could be the director man he was. How does he achieve so much stability?
Age? Power? Foundational roots in an entire industry? If I did as much work as he did, and if I
worked as hard and as long as he does, and if my work was as potent and powerful as his, it
would be like the worlds largest volcano erupting right in Florida. I dont knows how he bears
the weight of that awesome power and responsibility, because Im sure hes famous enough
people recognize him from photos. But the thing is, he did AKIRA in Japan, somewhere near
Tokyo, or in Tokyo. Im doing PARALLAX and MONO CHRONICLES in the United States, in
a place with no such tranquility and a stability in Florida. And I find myself asking myself time
and time again, is it possible to be Katsuhiro Otomo in Florida?? Is it possible to have that much
power in Florida, one of the least respected states, the Germany of the United States? Is it
possible to do AKIRA or anything like it, even just the manga in redneck Florida? Even I can
see that the situational and geo-cultural circumstances, are a bit different, and just as, if not more
challenging, and the odds are highly stacked against me, so to speak. That was then. AKIRA was
then. This is now. PARALLAX is now. Now theres otaku culture. Now theres Cartoon
Network. Now theres Adult Swim and YouTube. Now theres my celebrity and public stature
with the media and news worldwide. Now theres American Next Generation high powered pop
culture. Its hard to do something so massive and sprawling under the radar. I cant help but feel
that this journey wouldnt be half as hard, or at least not as intimidating if it went on under the
radar. But every drawing I do, every time I go online or interact with people in Florida, it gets a
LOT of attention. I dont know what to dobut I HAVE to do my job. No one has much, if any
information about OTOMOs private life. Hes a God, it would probably be disrespectful or
disrupt the balance of nature to do such a thing to someone so powerful. And yet nothing is off
limits when the American media targets me. No detail is too private or beyond idiotic American
spectacle, no matter how dumb or pointless. OTOMOs power comes from working. Mine just
comes from the Gods and societys perception of me, and how strongly people and the media
overreact to it. Its quite an awkward contrast. Everyone focuses on OTOMOs work. No one
Focuses on OTOMO. Everyone focuses on me. No one focuses on my work. Its like were long
lost Taoist harmonious element. His Yin to my Yang. Or My Yin to His Yang. In some ways, its
very difficult and unfair to compare the two of us, due to the circumstantial differences and the
career paths of our lives and how different they are. Socially, its like night and day, but in terms

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of creative power, were like long lost brothers, mentor and student, father and son, sensei and
protg, or something like that. His life possesses a tranquility and intimacy to it in many ways
(well, on the surface anyway) that mine has never known.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011,
Well, Akira and Ghost in the Shell are movies after all. Its more difficult to achieve cinematic
television than cinematic movies. TV is made to be shallow and disposable, and bright and
colorful and ignorantly flamboyant: Anything Viacom makes and whatnot. Viacom has an anticinematic-TV policy. Cinema is hard and dark. Its not really bright and fluffy like TV. Im
starting to realize that.
Thursday, May 05, 2011,
Have just found out about I.P. licensing agencies. For licensing I.P. Logical enough on my part.
The prospect of becoming a millionaire before I turn 30 or 35 is boggling my mind. Am I really
going to make myself rich? Im really going to become a self-made millionaire?? This is one of
the greatest things thats ever happened to me. I have the greatest job and bosses in the world!
Fortunately, I do have a plan in place, that could potentially cement my small fortune I may one
day make from my entrepreneurial skills.
Steps to Take Towards Earning a Salary
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Attaining a Copyright
Licensing Agency
Contract
Licensing Profit (Percentage)
Application of Prototype

Im not the first self-made millionaire ever to come from an abusive home situation. If it wasnt
for other people, Id be living a life of peace and quiet.
My power makes for a rather shitty show-and-tell presentation. If only I could actually get it to
show up by willpower alone like Katsuhiro Otomo can do with his power. That would indeed be
cool.

Brian Johnston had some wickedly Dark Beastly Secrets he was trying to conceal from the
public. Like the fact that he has the instinct to kill, probably over and over again. Hes already
killed one person, and if no ones watching him, he will kill again, over and over again actually.
His method of choice for murdering those that get to close to him, a shotgun. His favorite place
to kill, their house. The people he hates the most: Me and people with poopee Jew mustaches
Awfully coy phrasing, considering it was written online by a coldblooded sociopath and killer,

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who has no qualms with manipulating the public and national media. Deep down Im sure hed
love to kill many people if hes ever free from jail. Hell have good behavior until nobodys
looking, in which case he shoots the one closest to him.
My dream in life is to draw cyberpunk-steampunk textures of cityscapes like the following
Artists:

Syd Mead
Corey Senderov Jackson
Katsuhiro Otomo
Moebius
Production I.G. layout artists
Ralph McQuarrie

Im well aware of how impressive and awe-inspiring much of my art is. My best work is and
always has been awe-inducing. In a way, for a long time now, Ive ALWAYS wanted all of my
art to inspire awe. Thats where the power is. If you can inspire awe in the public, you can attain
tons of reputational power. Most people dont inspire awe. Awe is a rare reaction, even among
professionals.
Things that inspire awe:

Big Things, Huge Things, Enormous Things

Complex Things
Raw Power Manifested
Magic
Dynamic Images
Designy Images
Intense Action
Art Realism
Innovation, Pioneering Work
Ingenious productivity
Miracles
Breakthroughs
Revolution

Anime Attacks and powers the Publicity Villains have in real life. Favorite enemy Attack Tactics
and Assaults:

Backdoor Subseven Trojan Attack (Adult Swim Message Board)

Pod People Mirror Assault (TV)
Media Circus Attack (Groups of People. TV)

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Girls Gone Wild Seduction Predator-Prey Bait Infiltrator (Interthreat)

Perverted Clown Label Defense Barrier (TV, Message Boards)
Webcam Infiltration Seduction Attack (DeviantART)
Hex Curse Attack (Supernatural)
Media Circus Assault (TV, News, Newspapers)
Propaganda Justice Assault (TV)
Viacom PR Rep Attack-Assault (Viacom)
Webcam Surveillance Eye Mole Infiltrator Attack (Message Boards)

Possible descriptions are will be here later.

My gun-holding-hand anatomy is becoming more accurate. Im good at drawing barrel, but when
it comes to putting the hand around the gun handle, I almost always mess my drawings up
somehow. If youre going to be the John Woo or Quentin Tarantino of comics, its more than a
little necessary to know how to draw hands as theyre holding firearms. Swords aside, handguns
is the greatest symbol for the Hong-Kong & Action genre there is! Childrens shows arent too
big on guns, and understandably so. But its pretty easy to get away with showing a gun in an
adult action cartoon, like what Im doing. Its the ultimate action stock in trade. Guns and swords
and martial arts (and architecture and the color black) are going to be the main reason people
tune in / hit the bookstore or visit Amazon each week/month/year. Theyre not coming to me for
flowers and rainbows anymore. Clearly.
Did 5 new drawings of handguns, all in a row, today. Guns are one of my all time top props.
That, and buildings, aerial perspective, black trenchcoats, and swords. These elements make my
best storytelling work what it is. Kids dont understand guns. Adults do. Guns as props in your
show or book virtually guarantees a young adult and adult audience for your work. Guns are a
cash cow in animation. As demonstrated by Todd McFarlane, Peter Chung, Aaron McGruder,
and Adult Swim. An action movie without guns is like a blade without metal.
FINALLY, when Im drawing action illustrations and panels, Im actually starting to get the gun
Right! All my early drawings of guns, though good for that time in my life, are not good now. I
couldnt draw a gun handle or trigger ring to save my life. Now I can, from a profile view at
least.
My work is all about balance and equilibrium. Balancing two different often opposing sides.
Balancing guns on one side and swords on the other. Black on one side and white on the other.
Martial arts on one side and shoot-em-ups on the other. Beauty and design on one side, and
chaos and violence on the other. Science fiction on one side and fantasy on the other. Cinema on
one side and literature on the other. The Apocalypse on one side and Ascension on the other. Its
a yin-yang balancing act with ALL my techniques and elements.

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Fortunately all hands holding guns essentially look the same. If you can master the
understructure, you can draw a good gun being held by its grip every time! I dont know yet if
thats the case with swords.
Types of Fantasy:

Power Fantasy
Dark Fantasy
Action Fantasy
Masterpiece of Power

Butterfly effect of society:

Anything that someone, that people do now will 1,000 times as much historic weight, 100 years
from now
Whoever designed Rexs power levels and how they function at manifesting must have been
studying my art powers as they manifest, because the two powers (one from reality (mine) and
one science fiction (Rexs) are identical. Kind of makes it a lot easier to sort my powers out in
terms of their psychological implications, because Rexs power fluctuations match and identify
with mine. Awesome.
Like it says on Wikipedia for Rexs profile:
Control of his powers is linked to his emotional state, and can fail with low self-confidence, agitation
or inner conflict. As shown in the episodes 'Plague' and 'Rampage', his power can also fail when wornout and tired.

Most mind readers online abuse their power. They invade youre space and attempt to infiltrate
your consciousness with mind games. They attain thoughts from your mind that could not be
attained any other way. But the question is, how do we defend ourselves, our minds, our
families, our children, our national security, or privacy, and our careers from them. They could
destroy all those things if given free reign with their minds. A wrathful psychic is a deranged,
dangerous individual. A lot of them are female. A lot of them are young. But where do their
psychic powers of telepathy come from. And why do they abuse said powers so much when
theyre posting offensive, often fraudulently imitative, art online.

Sunday, May 08, 2011,

My top goal and or hobby is always the area I hyper-focus and hyper-concentrate on the most.
And its the area I work the hardest at. In this case, between 20042011, its been 2 things:
Manifesto and Parallax. Not a day or week went by in that time when I wasnt producing a new

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page or group of pages of writing and a Mono character design sketch. That, those things:
Manifesto and Parallax are the goals and daily work routines I set my mind to. What Ive been a
genius at. My social day to day private home life and health: Not so much. But Im not focused
on it, so that would explain why Im so BAD at it. Im HORRIBLE at what I DONT focus on.
My art highlighting skills are getting a bit rusty. Im getting a bit too comfortable keeping
making my drawings far too simple. The key is more hatching.

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Chapter 56
(Windows Vista)

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2

Monday, May 09, 2011,

You can really only seek a comics or animation education for so long. Eventually, you have to
produce the panels. Not everything you use in your work or learn can be taught in a traditional
sense. No one can teach you how to be the next Todd McFarlane, Dave Sim, Katsuhiro Otomo,
or Jhonen Vasquez. The more innovative/elaborate your art and writing gets, the less there is that
can be taught to you in the traditional sense. You just have to dig in, put in the hard work, and let
loose. You can really only learn from experience. You can really only learn so much from the
fundamentals. Nothing is more educational than having the bravery and fortitude to learn by
doing. Sometimes, emulation and imitation of more experienced artists, and learning to think like
them, is the best teacher.
I did 4 original comic book sequential art pages today, all in sketch form. I own a lot of comics,
so I used a lot of reference
I always was more prolific and productive at art without the pills. But since Im forced to take
medication against my will, by my parents, I have no choice but to manage to attempt drawing
with antipsychotic drugs in my non-ill system. Its a good thing I dont get addicted to pills. I
think my parents have been trying to get me hooked on antipsychotics drugs for a while now.
Fame isnt so bad really, other than the fact that it sort of makes me want to kill myself
sometimes. My family REALLY makes me want to kill myself. I really, REALLY hate living
with these people. Its torture. Someone just kill me already. Id watch more daytime television,
if it didnt make me lose my will to live, which it typically does. Id rather die than watch
daytime television. Not even joking. Hang me or shoot me, it would be better than daytime
television. If I have to choose between daytime TV and death, I pick death. Just fucking kill me
now.
I hate, hate HATE competing fairly (i.e. without my journal or YouTube). Its not that Im afraid
of losing. Its that I always win and demolish competitors when I really try.
I wonder if audience level is power level. If thats the case, my power level is somewhere
between 200,000 and 500,000. Thats my audience size online alone. My TV audience is kind of
non-existent.
Highest Ratings Online:

Youtube
Adult Swim [dot com]
Webcomics Nation
Tokyopop.com
Twitter

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Lowest Ratings Online:

DeviantART
Photobucket
JMStreler.com
Monocomics.com

I wonder how Ill manage my YouTube page if my creative work ever starts selling. Maybe I just
need to go through the proper kind of venue for this sort of thing.
Ive got the literary muscle of a French author and writer in me. And as we all know, or at least
many in the international community do, about how wordy, verbose, and long-winded it is. Like
Dave Sim (Canadian. Canada is a very French country). Or Jean-Paul Sartre. Two of my Frenchinspired heroes.
And as Ive just found out, upon doing a search in Google that French writers (like myself in
some ways) have won more Nobel Prizes for literature than novelists, poets, and essayists from
any other country except Britain.
Speaking of France, other than Britain, France would probably be a great country to publish and
translate my literary monographic book series, The Manifesto Volumes, in. The intellectual and
existentialist literary pleasure of Manifesto might be lost on the American market if it ever saw
print other than the self-print kind. The French are huge on literature, just as the British are. I
knew I was smart, but an internationally renowned literary genius? Well, Im not to brag,
butyeah, Im pretty good.
Its pretty easy to spot my work in the open market. Pretty much everything I touch and do will
have the mark of power and genius, the stench of someone doing something real, and noble, and
true. No matter what I do, whatever I end up doing, itll be a work of genius. Thats pretty much
it. Which one is my one? How do you spot it? Thats easy. Mine is the best one. The one that
outshines all the rest and monopolizes quality. That is my personal guarantee. Pretty much
everything I do is going to send chills down your spine. THATis how you will recognize me in
the crowd.
Its not easy being one of the Kings of Longevity. Just look at Dave Sim. Surely no one would be
stupid enough to think it was easy being him when he was working on Cerebus the Aardvark.
But he never worked in film or TV animation.
Thats where were left with the second and third most long winded media artist of the current
era: Katsuhiro Otomo and Todd McFarlane. Cerebus is 6,000 pages long. AKIRA is 2,000 pages
long as a graphic novel, plus all the production artwork of the animated AKIRA feature film.
And Spawn is 150+ issues, or about 3,000+ pages so far, with 1 short lived animated series so
far. This is the kind of community I want to eventually be a part of. And Im well aware that the

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only way Im going to join this group, this league of artists is through the actual comics
themselves. Drawing the sequential art: Thats the secret. Ive just named the best
comics/animation in the world, well, more than 50% of it anyway.

Dave Sim
Todd McFarlane
Katsuhiro Otomo

Those are my 3 friends. The three legends, give or take Jhonen Vasquez, and Steve Blum. John
Lasseter is in a similar place too, but its still kind of a different situation with him. Honestly, I
dont think any of them mind if I geek out around them. Were all fans here. And were all
professionals. If I need guidance, I read their books time and time again. Their work never fails
me. I always find new things about their art I like.
I still watch some TV, but Im so done with TV. I might be done with anime too, at least in terms
of appreciating it like I used to. What has anime done lately thats so special that its actually
earned something as important as my respect? Nothing. Thats what.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011,
Google topic of the day: Martha Graham
Got a real life Twitter response from one of my artistic heroes today. Jill Thompson
(@thejillthompson) wrote me a Twitter response! That makes me so very happy! I love Scary
Godmother. Im surprised we have so much in common. Not everyone knows who Jill
Thompson is, but shes a Burton-esque art God! One of the most famous American female comic
book creators there is. Its like Steve Blum all over again. Awesome. I love having online
correspondences with famous comics and animation people, as well as manga and anime people.
Thursday, May 12, 2011,
Its been kind of a quiet last few days. Not that Im complaining.
For the first time since 2001, I have writers block. Well, for now anyway. I dont know what to
write about. Ive written about everything worth writing about in my world. My mind needs rest.
I originally wanted to be an L.A.-based TV animation assembly line style worker. Just
working in the studio system, serving my bosses the executive producers and directors. But due
to complications, and changes in the industry, thats clearly never going to happen, so I moved
on. No more animation assembly line for me. The internet killed that. No ones going to hire a
guy like me. Im a bum.

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I might just take Chris up on that offer to live with him in Carolina. I hate Florida. If thats the
only opportunity to get the hell out of here I have, Ill take it. Being a resident of Carolina
temporarily would probably be cool.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Funimation is kind of like a butcher and rape anime company. They butcher and rape almost
everything they touch. I hate them in some ways. Funimation isnt an actual real anime company.
Theyre an American butchering factory. They butcher good anime, and turn it into shit.
Favorite Comics:

Blade of the Immortal

Conan
Trigun
Akira
JtHM
Paul Pope
Spawn
Dark Minds
Battle Chasers
Evangelion
Naruto
DBZ

Influences on my choreography:

Martha Graham
Yuen Woo-Ping
John Woo
Dance
Ballet
Flexibility
Martial Arts
Kung-Fu
Hong Kong
Women

Scenes in comic books work much better in short, dynamic, and energetic bursts, instead of longwinded scribbles. Instead of trying to make every scene 5-10 pages, its much better to condense,
and go with 2-3 page scenes, with heavy dialogue at times, and no dialogue or monologues at all.

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As it turns out, drawingparticularly, drawing panels in comics pages, McFarlane pacing

styleis an even better option and alternative to TV than even surfing the web and writing
journal pages is.
When it comes to comic art, nothing begets nothing. Its next to impossible to think of
elaborately detailed artwork without first looking at other elaborately detailed artwork. If I spend
just 30 minutes a day drawing, Ill gradually become better over time, just as, for me, Im always
going to need something to copy from.

Copying from other art

Practicing for 30 minutes a day
2-3 page scenes
Panel Stages, developmental stages

And thats about it.

According to Numerology or some such reading, I was born on the 17th day of a month.
Therefore
Fame as a writer is indicated.
-Numeroscope
I cant let my family end up being the gatekeeper for the media to use to my private life after I
die. I need colleagues to protect in my later years and posthumously, both from my brother and
from the media. I need friends and protection. Im really hoping my career will provide me with
a newfound social life and new career friends and colleagues. It would be REALLY BAD if Im
still living in Florida, let alone this room, when I die. I cannot sit by and let that happen. I need to
find a writing and technology and art entertainment career in this lifetime. If I spend my whole
life holed up here on meds, for the next 40 years, Ill be a LAUGHING STOCK! My
parents/sibling/neighbors are such a bunch of pricks and losers. Theyll never in a million years
be able to elevate my social status and standing. Theyre unreliable, and Ill never be able to trust
or rely on them. Thats what my upcoming career is for. Now, that, Im in awe of.
Saturday, May 14, 2011,
Screenwriters who write better:

Yoshiyuki Tomino
Aaron McGruder
Thomas Romain
Daria writing staff
Peter Chung

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Sam Keith

Screenwriters that DONT:

Seth MacFarlane
Matt Groening
Trey Parker
Matt Stone
Walt Disney

My bread and butter is writing the following:

Swords (individual and dual wielding), Fantasy, High Fantasy, Science-Fantasy, Action, ActionAdventure, Dark Fantasy, Intrigue, Violence, Drama, Martial Arts.
In other words, mostly, I write down a lot of fighting (and some talking). I describe martial arts
moves in a thousand different ways, just like anime, the Shaws and Yuen Woo-Ping did.
I never write scripts out of anger. Thats one thing I dont know how to do. But I do like to make
fun of shit when Im screenwriting. Often time, you cross me, you become a villain. Im not shy
about writing people I hate into my stories.
Apocalypse Samurai is a good title. I like Samurais and I like a good fantasy version of the
Apocalypse. The rest is just icing on the cake. Whether its martial arts, a sword fight, or a
shootout. My storys back-story is better than every other animation back-story combined, except
perhaps Gundam and certain anime. My series is about God, authority, good, evil, and war, but
also combat and the End Times. How many American animated series actually get to make that
claim?? Huh?? One of the trademarks of my animation writing style is my highly developed and
complex back-stories. Even Avatar: The Last Airbender doesnt have a series back-story that
detailed. I approach making TV shows like writing novels. The back-story in animation often
feels tacked on. Not deep, heavy, forceful, or weighty. The back-story in my series is a Force.
Not just a tacked on plot element. Back-story is the spine of my narrative. Back-story gives your
plot power and thematic realism. This is the New Way of Writingor perhaps authoring
animation. My animation writing style is so powerful, it could revolutionize the animation
writing process, altering how animated series are written forever. I dont just like to make a serial
and continuing story, I also place a lot of value on history, and back-story fictitious history.
Fortunately, you dont need to be a good artist to make your stories deep. Many of the best
writers in history really suck at drawing, so its okay if youre a screenwriter for animation and
have trouble drawing, like I do.

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Compare and Contrast

Gundam & Parallax
While yes, Gundam and Parallax are both science fiction mythologies, are large in scope, have a
backstory and world history, that is where the similarities end:
Parallax has no giant robots, its not written and drawn by a team of Japanese people, and its not
a space opera. Its an earth sword opera. And the way it looks has nothing in common with
Gundam. Its not that detailed. And I dont want it to be either. In the Gundam universe, there are
good characters on both sides. Later on I might follow that model, but for now, for my fictional
world, its purely good versus evil. Evil is evil. Why sympathize with the enemy?
Gundam is about war, giant robotics, and the men who pilot them.
Parallax is about war, covert operations, good versus evil, and people. Well, I dont really
continually emphasize any one particular motif the way Gundam does, other than maybe
swapping Hajime Yatates robots for blades.

The 2-page rule. Write all chapters and scenes, and draw all comics scenes, as 2-page segments
or short story-narratives. Thats what John Steinbeck did with the Grapes of Wrath. And its
what Todd McFarlane did in the early days of Spawn. Fill up 2 pages with literary chapter
description or sequential art, and before you know it, they add up and you have a book or comic
or script in your hands. 2-page rule.

John Steinbeck of:

Action Scenes
Martial Arts Screenwriting
Animation and Comics Writing.
Motion
Atmosphere

Ive realized I do have an eye for detail. Ive foreseen the future of my screenwriting career in
the stack of scripts Ive written so far. I have the potential to invent some of the most detailed
fictional literary descriptions ever, in screenplay form no less Not even a novel!
Ive never seen my palms sweat this much. Makes it difficult to type actually.

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When I first got Roku, I wanted to give it my full attention, no multi-tasking, no getting
distracted, but the more I think about it, the more I think I should treat it like TV, with
distractions, multi-tasking, and all/everything. I can watch more if I dont isolate my viewing
habits. If I multi task and use the computer while Im watching Roku anime shows, I can get a
lot more watched
I know its hard to believe, but watching real anime isnt really fun anymore. Watching anime is
real work and takes practice and patience. Real focus and concentration. Whenever I watch
anime without using real focused work and practice, I get lost and exhausted. Because anime is a
thinking mans medium, it takes real focus to watch. Theres so many distractions around my
house almost every day with Andrew, Anthony, and Peggy, theyre a handful, and it takes focus
to disregard them and focus on my work or task at hand: Watching Netflix/Roku/Anime
Series Watched Today

Nabari No Ou (3 eps)
Blood+ (2 eps)
X: The Series (1 ep)
Lesser known areas

Screenwriting
Comic Book Writer
Character Design
Production Design
Storyboards

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The full moon of the Buddha has blessed my writing ability tonight. I made more progress earlier
today in teaching myself how to be a successful screenwriter of animation than I ever have
before. Buddha blessed me and my literary work today. I got a ton of screenwriting done. Its
hard to explain. My writing process was so productive, it was almost like God / The Buddha
himself was channeling his spiritual power into my creativity. I was brought to tears at one point
today even. Ive always wanted to be this productive at my writing, but I never have until now.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011,
Damn. This screenwriting gig is hard work. The work takes just as much energy as drawing if it
is narrative writing, except with this type of work, Im actually able to do it. Im not going to go
on and on about becoming a great writer and screenwriter of animation. Dont want to jinx
myself. But I will say Im getting better at screenwriting.

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In my animation writing, Im writing stories that have never really been told in animation before
in this country. Its pretty amazing.
In the last 2 weeks, Ive completed 6 pgs of scripts, and 15 pgs of sequential art 1st draft work.
Im making some real headway.
Still though. It kind of sucks that I cant find an appropriate publisher for my comics. No one
wants to publish my comics. I used to bug the shit out of Jamie S. Rich and Jhonen Vasquez in
hopes I could work my way up through the industry. That backfired in a big way, and now none
of the big publishers would publish me in a million years. I still have some options though:
Option 1: Write a script for TV.
Option 2: Draw a few pages of sequential art and see where that takes me.
Option 3: Keep looking to attain a patent and licensing agency of I.P.
A: Do options 1 and 2 to pass the time till 3.
Instead of Parallax, I might be using the name Apocalypse Blade or The Apocalypse Sword
for my comics name.
Action is actually a relatively new genre in film, anime, and animation. The Hollywood action
movie genre itself has only historically been around since the 1970s, allegedly according to
Wikipedia. Before that, it was samurai films, westerns, Hong Kong kung-fu flicks, and Acme
anvils dropping on cartoon Coyotes heads. Not many firearms and explosions and whatnot. By
the end of my career, I could very possibly end up re-inventing the modern action
film/cartoon/anime/manga/comics genre in general, which would be great. Like I said, I dont do
action movies. I do Existential Action. Post-Modern Action for a Post-Modern world culture.
Newest story idea:
The Spirit Wars
A novel about spiritual warfare in society.
Honestly? The whole having a real audience thing is still new to me. Im not experienced in
the area of having an audience. In the past, everything Ive done has been for me or my friends
and family. Im used to not having an actual real life audience. Im not used to so much criticism
and attention and focus on my activities. It used to be that I wouldnt even give the idea of a
viewing or reading public a second thought. Everything was beautifully autistic in its nature in
the beginning. Thats changed.
The best TV shows dont just make you passive and stationary, or feed your laziness. The best
TV shows are so compelling and intelligent, they compel you to act, to get off your ass and do

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something, even if its just work. The worst shows make you depressed and immobile, in a
fatigued rage due to how bad they are.
Thats the secret. The more time you spend working on a comic, the longer it gets. Just ask Dave
Sim: 20-30 years makes 6,000 pages. So I just need to keep drawing comic book pages for the
next 20-30 years and Ill be safe.
The new president is a robot. Or at least, thats the tagline to an upcoming Parallax storyline.
How else could the president be so efficient? Heh. . Im a robot!
Just did a Googleshare count. My two most famous pseudonyms (JM Strebler, Spindack) pulls
up 60 results in a Google search engine if you type them in as they are. My names bring up 60
different result page links. My name brings up 60+ different search results on the most popular
site in the world: Google. I dont really know if Im famous, or respected for that matter. But I do
have a healthy stake in the worlds most popular website. Not bad for an industry newcomer, and
a guy who never appears in the press or mainstream media, only the internet. Its pretty mindboggling to think that my name(s) show up 60 times on Google.
My ideals and my lifestyle are constantly at odds much of the time. My philosophy and aesthetic
sense goes so high and visionary, and yet some people portray me as so frail and depraved
List of Words and Names I Talk About the Most
Drinking Game

Steve Blum
Toonami
Mono
Parallax
Google
Adult Swim
Dragonball Z
Wuxia
Jhonen Vasquez
Anime
Sean Akins
Williams Street
AnimeTV

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Strategic Planning and Career

No matter what area or project I pursue professionally, no matter what I do, its going to utilize
strategy and strategic planning, as well as logistics and tactics. Every business decision I make
utilizes a strategic plan. Ive got a strategic plan for all my professional pursuits.

Screenwriting
Comic Book Publishing
Animation Production
Licensing and Inventing

So far, as the clich goes, Everything is going according to plan. Ive written unofficial and
recreational tutorials for how to do all these things, because a strategic plan is similar to an
educational tutorial.
Im a mastermind of sorts. Planning comes easily to me. Strategic planning is one of my talents.
My book projects are my force, my superpower: my superpowered force. My comics projects are
the mountains I can move, the sphinx and pyramid I can build. My book projects are a wonder to
behold, both in terms of thickness, and in terms of aesthetics. My Scorpio power is manifested in
my book projects, whether literary or cinematic, epic or dramatic. Ive got a solid story, and Im
a solid writer and artist. Ive got something here: a whole career! Im a literary and cinematic
genius; a genius of books, images, action, and words.
Im on the toilet with hemorrhoids for half the day. I take medication in the morning, afternoon,
and night because my parents are convinced I have schizophrenia. Im a binge eater, and I drink
too much coffee, which gives me diarrhea. And my room is clutter with crinkled papers that have
art, writing notes, and printouts from webpages on sites like eHow.com and Wikipedia, etc. My
life is not glamorous. But I do have a life
My philosophy:
You want to look down from a hill on a sea of objects, know that you invented the prototype for
all those (nouns), just see an ocean of them, and be able to say Hey! I did that. Thats the
concept internet engineering is based on. To be the God of whatever world, multiverse,
franchise, or business, or book you create, and just see limitless, endless duplications of it spread
out, either literally or figuratively, like say on TV. Like How Osamu Tezuka invented manga and
anime and is the God of Manga. Or how Spielberg invented the popcorn movie. Or how Bill
Gates invented software for the PC. Or how Steve Wozniak invented the PC. You want to be the
all powerful Creator of it all. Of Everything. I have that going for me
I want to be able to say about widely used things I invented/created All you see before you.
Thats like being a God in real life, literally. My dream job is being a God of a medium

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technology, or product in the mainstream and pop culture. The reason so many geniuses and
Rationals want to create and invent something is because if you invent, design, build, and/or
create something that achieves wide usage and becomes iconic or popular and mainstream isif
its a hit, then that fact, that you created it, promotes you to the ultimate status as the God of this
new movement, revolution, genre, franchise, medium, technology, media, or product, and are
then promoted to and established as the lucky son of a bitch that knows all and sees all of the All
Powerful Creation. In terms of that product or concept, you hold the ultimate power. The creator
or inventor of a thing always remains the ultimate power player and expert or God of that
thing. I got streaming anime on YouTube. Im the God of streaming anime being broadcasted
online. That is my ultimate power. Im very powerful in the fact that I made streaming anime
video online possible, as is documented by lots of things (and people of course). Damn Im
lucky. Because Im the creator of the technology, medium, and media, Im automatically
considered by many to be the most powerful person in online anime broadcasting, and one of the
most powerful power players in anime broadcasting in general. Im up there with Japan,
Toonami, Adult Swim, Sean Akins, Steve Blum, and Ted Turner in terms of power. I dont
always enjoy the fact that I have to keep my power leveland the fact that Im an anime
broadcaster Goda secret.
My approach to filmmaking and comics storytelling is considered unconventional to many. I
dont aspire to draw what would resemble industry stereotypes, such as superheroes or magical
girls. My style is its own creation in and of itself, with heavy usage of and complex arrangement
of positive and negative space, white and black. In a way its noir, and yet it isnt. My aesthetic
sensibilities and what I find appealing is quite international and slightly askew. But in a good
way. My style is uncommon, but I suppose thats part of what makes auteur theory what it is.
Good Channels with quality content: BBC America, Ovation TV, The Hub.
You know, I dont think anyone in the media, old or new, actually wants to visit me in my house,
and especially my family. Ive heard of editors and publishing employees visiting authors and
their families, but there seems to be a lot of propaganda against doing that with my life. Better
keep your distance. JM is dirty, and no one visits him, but he does have an active social life.
With his family anyway.
Im making good money on Twitter lately. Yes! I am the ultimate salesman and marketer!
It really is a shame that the only people really against me are aggressive and nasty-minded
sociopaths and nutjobs. I have yet to encounter a mentally stable or sane person who has any
sort of a real beef with me. Theyre all freaking psychotically crazy. If youre me, all you have to
do is sit back and watch maladjusted, mentally defective fools and jerks with mental disabilities
try to rush you. So sad.

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Monday, May 24, 2011,

Im planning on practicing my newest skills:

Building, planning, and running an Animation Studio, or at the very least, producing
animation production.
Linking Economically on Twitter

Apparently, no ones trying to break into traditional American animation for the most part
anymore. Its incredibly unpopular in the hierarchy of American and creative young peoples
ambition in terms of collective consciousness. The vast majority of my Twitter friends are comic
book related people, the rest are mostly anime. Only one or two or a few focus solely on
animation, and theyre all related to Cartoon Network and Williams Street. Titmouse, CN, Nick
Weidenfeld (Adult Swim and CN), and thats about it. Whatever happened to aspiring to work in
animation production. The fall of Disney and Nickelodeon had a lot to do with that, Im quite
certain. When outlets dry up, so can talent, unfortunately. More for me I guess. But I wont have
a studio if theres no one out there to hire. Who should I consider hiring?
Im really going to need to revise my writing and artist portfolios. Ive lost track of what is my
best work. Im sure theres SOMEthing of value in all this junk.
Things to talk about on Twitter:

YouTube videos
News Articles
Animation
Anime
Manga
Retail
My projects

I earned $1 online today. I only earned $10 from Google for 3 friggin Years!
I just got a raise! $1. I earned 1/10th the total profit ($1) in 1/100th the time (1 day).
Ways that could make money:

Getting paid for lnk.co-based Google search results that youre associated with
Adwords ad with lnk.co
Tweeting

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The Martial Arts Fighting and Action Cartoon Genre

Historic Title: Dragon Ball Z
The Martial Arts Cartoon Genre was Singlehandedly Masterminded and Invented by the Toei
and Funimation produced Japanese animated series Dragon Ball Z, which actually began on
Japanese television in 1989, more than 2 decades, or 22 years ago. It popularized martial arts in
animation, made it a LOT more acceptable to draw realistic, fast, and intense violence, combat,
and martial arts fighting on TV. Everything I draw in my Mono fight sequences, I owe to DBZ in
one sense, just as Naruto, Cowboy Bebop, The Boondocks, and Avatar do as well. If its got
intense fighting and martial arts violence in the animation, its borrowing from Dragon Ball Z.
DBZ pretty much invented the intense animated fight scene. It was highly innovative action
cartooning. DBZ is action cartooning. And I am an action cartoonist.
I have an analytical genius for pinpointing the source of creative or cultural influence and power
thats part of a movement or revolution. I know the names of all the movie, film, animation, art,
writing, and sometimes comic book movements, revolutions, genres, and styles. Im good at
finding and researching the source of enormous social influences and analyzing its source and
where the power of a movement, style, genre, or revolution derives from. Im good at spotting
the source of power, like DBZ with action cartoons.
No one was sure what to make of Mono when I first introduced him on the internet. Primarily
because the character represents something innovative and new in culture, and at the time, before
his costume design was so highly imitated on online galleries by other artists, no one had seen
anything like Mono Jubei or Parallax before. The swords. The guns. The black coat and grim
face. When I debuted my vision online in its introduction format, no one was sure how to react to
my designs. But as time went on, Monos likeness has been adapted by an army of artists in
virtually every medium and violent or fantastical genre there is. (In television and film, in 2-D
and 3-D animation, in Asian, French, Canadian, and America animation. In international coproductions. In manga. In comic books. In superhero comics. And in Hollywood and TV). Now
its a popular look to have, for both entertainment and parody purposes, and everything in
between. Pretty cool. And my writing aint half bad either!
Unfortunately Andrew lies to his family. He brags to me about how much money he has hidden
in his room, and then throws tantrums using the word fuck a mile a minute all day long,
complaining about being unemployed. Hes not unemployed if he has a stack of $20s in his
closet that hes hiding from Mom and Dad. What a dumbass.
Im going to use my patent licensing money (if I make a lot of it) towards leasing or buying my
own office building to work in on computers, comics, and animation. And Ill be using the
licensing money on funding my comics ventures of course, but especially my animation
ventures.

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Wednesday, May 25, 2011,

Managing your business starts with managing your life, your studio-room and your general self.
The Power of Presence
My power is my presence: Where I am and what Im doing or writing or drawing at the
moment has enormous influence, both now and in the future.
And honestly, I wish there WERE more ways to cash in on my face. But my face doesnt draw
100 page comics, now does it.
Celt-X notes: It seems like I almost always close the entire Celt-X writing program every time
right after I write down something good in it. This is a note to myself to leave the program
open after I write each idea, so I can learn to write in it through subliminal learning and
discipline.
So what is art school like? I asked Phil back in the day.
Oh, you know, creative atmosphere. Artists. You draw better than half of them.
Rock Lee, Vegeta, Trunks, Goku, Mugen, and Afro Samurai. Quite possibly the fastest, quickest
characters in anime. My action writing work is some of the fastest and quickest there is. When at
my fastest, everything around me is blurred. Its like moving in a racecar. Im the fastest thing
alive.
Literary Leaders:

Fantasy: JRR Tolkien, Robert E. Howard

Science Fiction: Isaac Asimov, Grand Masters
Science-Fantasy: Michael Moorcock, George Lucas

Screenwriting Masters

George Lucas
Quentin Tarantino
Yoshiyuki Tomino

Nicole really liked me. Well, she liked my possible money anyway or at least thats the vibe I
get in retrospect. She was probably just as sure that I was going to become rich as I was. I didnt
realize it at the time.

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There are 2, maybe 3 things I care about, at all: Being strong. Making Money. And training, so I
can write things like my journals, and design cartoon characters posing and in action. I cant
really think about much, if anything, else. The goal is all consuming, and the goal is to be a
strong artist who can design and tell stories with strongly designed characters. Nothing else
matters. All objects in my path are considered insignificant except for the goal. Not a single
object exists in the piles and stacks and piles and stacks of books, papers, DVDs, CDs, comics,
and magazines in my room that wasnt created or purchased with the intent of helping me reach
my goal as a professional later on down the road.
The whole Johann, Death Note, Monster, Inspector Lunge thing. I think that was God testing
my strength. Holy shit Im strong. It took real fortitude to survive such hardship.
I used to think there had to be a set length for a comic book series or graphic novel: A predetermined length, width, or volume/amount of pages. Well, yes and no. There can be. But thats
not always the case. Its not always that calculated and predetermined. The comic book series
your making can be as long as you want it to be, where you dont pre-plan how many pages
youll be finishing. It takes as many pages as it takes, whether its 2 or 100. Or thousands more.
It really depends.
TVs making me sick again. Whoops. Looks like I cant leave the house to go to therapy. Ill
vomit if I see people outside. Or on TV.
Ive created around 140 comics pages in total so far, and around 70 new pages this year.
No one seems to appreciate or notice my desire to become a prolific cartoonist. As a matter of
fact, most just mock me.
Every once in a while, Ill pick out a random sketchbook page, and Ill feed it to the wolves. And
man do they like to eat what I feed them! Then they vomit and regurgitate it and show me what
they puked up 2 minutes later. Bravo! Bravo! Yer so amazing! Always good for a laugh.
First I had a stack of random, unrefined writings and art. Now I have that, plus a stack of comics,
plus a small(er) stack of scripts.
Its very fitting I had a dream about launching spaceship into space. This is not just the launch of
a possible art and writing career, but also, the rough layout version, or early draft of both my
pilot script and graphic novel. Both are well past the beginning of their production. What I hold
in my hands and put on my desk and stacks of paper today is the clipped together early
prototypes of the ultimate form my screenplay and graphic novel will take. Its like seeing the
rebirth of my art career. Ive reached an entirely new level today. This is how Im going to do all
of my first drafts (anti narrative, random material, but still entirely in traditional format, and
dense, binding.) In other words I have the first prototypes of not 1, but 2 whole manuscripts. My
work is finally starting to drift toward a finished form, or at the very least a more structured,

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structured form. Getting to this point was NOT easy. By now Im used to people calling me bad
names, thinking Im the bad guy, and whatnot. But I have the manuscript to my name, I have the
bibliography, and they do not, and that is what matters. Theyll never catch up to me now.
Whether I realized it before or not, Im popular now. Really popular. Being popular can be fun
and profitable. Especially if people like you. Exploiting my popularity for profit is something
Ive always wanted to do, but never knew quite how. Now Ive found a way to exploit my
popularity, a perfectly legit way. But its my secret. Popularity is incredibly beneficial.
Ive also recently started making a small, small, VERY small amount of money online. But hey,
thats one more dollar I didnt have to get a day job for.
YouTube is both the symbol of and the cause of the video revolution occurring on the internet.
Digital Video is the key word here. That and streaming video, all digital.
I like DIY art. I like designy things. I like homemade things. I make all of those.
Im working on a lot of low-budget high-production-values stuff. I love the idea of homemade
production artwork: Storyboards, layouts, model sheets, scripts, and comic book pages all
produced not in a fancy studio like in the 40s, but instead produced the publishing author way:
At home. I like being able to work and draw and write from the comfort of home and just upload
it to a website somewhere and or hand it in, drop it off, mail it to, email it to, or in other words,
just pass it onto a studio or publisher and just do it that way.
Getting to have input on a famous TV show, is not at all a common thing. Audiences are
accustomed to having input on mediums that are set in stone like animation. I think everyone
takes how much input they get to have on the internet for granted. In TV, no one gets to have
input on how its actually made and constructed who isnt actually working on the show.
Animation, and to a smaller degree, comics, is a sealed off process. Because of the internet, fans
are accustomed to having so much input that in the past theyd NEVER get to have in a million
years. On the internet, everyone has say so. In animation, no one really has any real say unless
theyre working on the show. Thats a pretty huge difference.
Things are getting weird. When I feel like Im in control, I REALLY feel like Im in control.
Im going to be okay. Im an optimist. Ill be fine. What are these powers of mine? Im having a
crisis moment. I cant control all the energy.
Are my parents really that blind and delusional to all the weird shit thats going on? HOW are
they blind to it? What is the science behind all this?
Why couldnt I rest? I need rest? Its okay now. If things can get that out of control so easily,
then they should be able to go back in control. The news just tells people what they want to hear,
even when its destructive news.

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Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I guess, in the beginning, I never thought to take my Master Builder 22 title so literally. But I
guess I actually can build a world on paper, if I actually put effort into it. I am a world building
artist after all. Im a world-builder. Im an architect of worlds and cities on paper, as long as it
uses perspective.
Im still coming down from a manic high. Hypomanic, most likely. That would explain how I
could draw 80 pages and do exercises at 10 p.m. or 11 p.m. at night, after I had been in the car
for a long time and did my day job of looking after the Hesss house. I was manic. But I was also
productive, and I got a lot done. I also cleaned my room when I was hypomanic.
Hypomania: Drawing / Notes Log:

Sunday: 40 pages
Monday: 40 pages
Tuesday: 20 pages

Total: 100 pages in 3 days.

My best highs are natural. Before I had the manic incident, energy drinks and caffeine would
give me energy to spare. But my best energy bursts are natural highs, manifested by mania.
I want to talk more about world building, but Im not sure what else I should write about it.
Theres got to be more good art out there than just Blade of the Immortal, Neon Genesis
Evangelion, and Spawn. When I find an art style I like, I copy from it. A lot. Art is art, and if
youre drawing comic books, you shouldnt draw inspiration only from comics. You should
study everything. All kinds of art mediums and genres.
I want to spend more time on each of my drawings. Up until now, the most amount of time Ive
spent on one drawing when someone wasnt forcing me and I drew for the whole time of my
own volitionwas when I spent around 2 to 3 hours on one drawing. The Mono sword holding
cover. The pencils took 2 to 3 hours. I want to up the ante to at least 4 to 5 hours, which
shouldnt be too much trouble if I just spend an entire day with one drawing. More time typically
means a more crowded composition. Still, its worth a try. Ill train myself to spend more time
adding texturing to each drawing.
Are computers really that powerful? Can they actually really take away my will and strength to
draw? Theyre really powerful enough to do that? As soon as I got back on the computer from a
2 day absence, my artist block returned.

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What IS Parallax? Its like Manifesto. Its a big stack of papers sitting on my desk, disorganized.
How many pages long is it? I dont know. So far I havent done a recent page-count. The stack is
messy, sloppy, rough, disorganized, and unrefined. Just like me. Even picking the stack up to
look through all of it is a chore. What makes me think organizing those papers will get any easier
with the more of those pages I create?
What a burden it is trying to catalogue, document, organize, and bind Parallax. The thing really
is turning into an epic. But its far from refined. Its not cleaned up. Its a scrap heap. There isnt
enough sequential art. Its not binded

Long running independent comic book series

Graphic Novel Series (this might work) like Akira or Cerebus
Graphic Novel
Epic Comic Book, Epic Graphic Novel, Epic Series
Independent comic book series

I didnt know much at the beginning. I didnt know a lot of things. I didnt know how to draw a
lot. I didnt know how to publish. I didnt know how to polish my pages or do cleanup. I didnt
know what actual final format I wanted. All I knew was I wanted it to be long, an epic narrative,
and that I wanted it to be a comic book that had a lot of pages. I knew I wanted to have it be
dense, a saga or dense epic. I didnt know whether I wanted it to be fantasy, indie, epic, or
manga. Now I actually do have a lot of work done on it. It actually really is a dense stack of
papers now, even if theyre not the finished pages. Those will be a lot easier to achieve if I have
it all organized or at least fleshed out on paper in sketches and pre-production. I have something
special here. A lot of effort, thought, analysis, practice, planning, and work, if nothing else. But
now that I have a full size stack of plans, wheres the cleanup? Why is it so disorganized? How
am I going to explain this to journalists who want to know about this project, my job, my work,
my book. Will it ever make it to bookstores? Will it ever get published or self published. It needs
to be polished and cleaned up for that. Still, the form, the vision I had in my head (of a large
book of papers, is there. Maybe I should be more specific in my visualization.
The good news: I have plenty to show for my efforts. Ive done hundreds of pages. I know where
Im going, sort of.
The bad news. I dont have any of the finished product. No real pages. No comic book started.
The good news: I have 800+ pages of conceptual artwork, and some comic book page prelims
finished. Im not in short supply of useable material. But the key question is, do I need all 800+
of those prelim pages? Can I use them all. It is 800+ pages drawn for my self-assigned Mono
project after all. Everything from clothing to guns to backgrounds and anatomy. The good news?
I made all of it up. Its all from my own creativity and imagination. So thats a plus. At least its
all my property. My product. It may be unrefined, but its still my product.

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Page Count!
(2011)
Total Pages Produced:
Parallax Artwork: 800 pages
Manifesto, Journal, and Commentary Writing: 3,800 pages
Total Writing-Art Page Count: 4,600 pages
Total profit from art and writing: $0.
I love publishing and drawing Mono Comics, or Parallax. I dont feel like I want it to end. Im
just so used to drawing and designing it, the series. I dont know what Ill do when its over. The
conclusion of the series might be tough on me. Does there have to be a stopping point. I guess if
people started reading it and I made a little money off of it, then I guess I could call that a
stopping point, because the story lives on in my heart and mind. But yes, unfortunately, like any
other serious narrative, it will have to conclude eventually. Im not looking forward to that day.
Im off to a good start though. 40 page comic of slop is not that bad. Im glad no one else is
really going to see it. Currently, Im in assembly line mode. Im a 1-man assembly line. My
work periods last longer than they used to. Sure, the actual spirit of the franchise and brand
probably lives forever, like any successful franchise, mythology, and brand, but eventually, the
narrative that lives on in my head will eventually need to conclude
I dont respect people with money any more than I respect anyone else. Just because you have
money isnt going to make me respect you. Why do you think Ive already told rich losers like
Jay Leno and Seth MacFarlane to go fuck themselves. They think they can do anything and get
away with murder just because someones paying them money. That aggravates me. Whats
wrong with doing free work? All I do is free work. I do it because of my impulse to generosity.
The best reward is a job well done. Not money or being rich. No ones going to win me over
with material possession. Money and shit like that. What bullshit.
I dont WANT easy work. I want a challenge. I dont want easy rewards, compensation, or
material possessions and good, or anything else thats easy to attain. I like a challenge. No
challenge, no reward. Easy jobs sicken me. Ive tried easy things, and they dont make me
happy.
When I tell you bye, you will truly learn what it means to be abandoned by someone. When
leave you, its permanent. I dont return to those who abuse me. Once I set my mind to bye
fuckers mode, its permanent. When I say goodbye, I leave, and I dont ever come back. Fuck
whether the people there need me or not. I dont give a shit if you need me. You piss me off,

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embarrass me, humiliate me, mock me, or agitate me, youd better prepare for life without me,
and get used to never seeing me again. I dont take this shit lightly.
Speaking of which, leaving Japan for good in terms of loyalty isnt that hard, is it?
Japanese anime and the Internet are the Devil. Theyre evil. They steal everything from you and
drain you of everything. Thats no way to go through life. Both are monopolies, thus cementing
their reputations as inescapable demonic tyrants of the future. I can no longer endorse such
things. I just want to get this crap out of my life. Its poisonous. Theyre over-anonymous and
collective false Gods. Theyve come this close to replacing God in the hearts and minds of
children, which is why they are evil to me. Such delusion is poisonous. They turn innocent
children into slaves. I cant endorse such seedy practices.
So what is there other than anime and the internet that I can get into? Well, theres French
comics, drawing comics, not my house arrest and not shrinks. Not TV. Theres American
animation I guess. But good, new American animation has been in such short supply recently.

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Chapter 57
(Windows Vista)

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Thursday, June 02, 2011

Life is one big pressure test to see how well you deal with crisis situations, insults and abuse/lack
of consideration from the public, stolen identity, hostility, rejection, poverty, pressure from your
peers and employers, people with evil inner characters, deception from powerful media figures,
and sharing a living space with enemies and people you generally hate and dont wish well.
This is life. Or at least, this is my life. How can there be a God if my life is set up this way. There
isnt a God. No real God would make life this unbearable and stressful. No real god would allow
a guy like me to be this unappreciated from people who clearly know better. I can honestly only
take so much disrespect, before I leave you, plain and simple. I dont stay around people I dont
like.
So they want to beat me, do they? Well see about that. Not if I have anything to say about it
though. But seriously, how are you going to beat and flatten me when youre ugly, dumb, and
morbidly obese? Or when you never wash your hair or wear makeup when youre on TV every
day? Do you think youll just magically be attractive that way Youre ugly, fat, AND you
cant draw. The deadly trio.
Writing is like martial arts, action film, firearms, high fantasy, science fiction, engineering, and
science. Theres just something proudly masculine or male about it. Females arent excluded. No
one says they cant participate, and yet they almost always choose not to participate.
I earned some serious money today.
Friday, June 03, 2011,
Theres more to making and building or constructing comics than just drawing and maybe
writing. Theres scripts, perspective, panel layouts, interior panel compositions, character design,
production design, page construction, and dialogue design. Thats pretty much it. The pages of a
comic book need to be as detailed and as textural as possible. Actually, now that I think about it,
there isnt more to making comics than basic drawing composition and writing.
Anime and manga may be out in the open, but the Japanese technical drawing process, what
methods and techniques Japanese artists use to create their graphic fiction still to this day
remains a mystery. How can manga and anime be so popular when no one actually knows how
its made, or the techniques used to make it? Those books on How to Draw manga dont show us
much. Theres a certain sacredness and mystery to the East Asian drawing process that I dont
find in the west. Westerners seem to want everything out in the open. Meanwhile the Japanese
and Chinese want to conceal everything thats underneath the surface. Its confusing. How are
we going to learn from the Japanese, if they never show their process or technique?

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Areas of interest: Areas to Create Samples in

Script
Visual Description (outline, narration for scripts and novels
Layout Pages
Model Sheets
Storyboards

For these samples of my work, all I have to do is create a brief portfolio of around 20 to 40 pages
of work, or 5 to 10 pages for each production medium category. These are all areas of interest.
Not everything I do should be so long winded like my books.
I do have an overall structural blueprint for my comic series. Just not a textural one. The truth is,
Im not going to be able to foresee exactly what my comic book pages will look like ahead of
time. I need to give myself some freedom in terms of design improvisation. If I try to set the
basic look in stone before I create it, Im destined to be disappointed. Meanwhile if I give myself
freedom, Ill be surprised and less likely to be disappointed, assuming I work hard. A lot of
people are watching me, and many will be questioning my motivations and decisions. It comes
with the territory.
Monday, June 06, 2011, 12:45 a.m.,
Im going to start off the early hours of the morning writing.
In terms of vocation, I consider myself a writer above all else. Im a technologist, filmmaker, and
artist second.
Im also consulting a psychic online. What is there to say really? I didnt even know who I was
lately. Im lost and I need help. So Ive decided to seek private consultation on the matter of the
psychic world.
Ed Catmull, Ub Iwerks, and George Lucas: I do admire Hollywood auteur-technologists of that
sort.
If an actor or a writer or a director or a producer can create something cinematic in television.
People like Jhonen and Steve Blum, and Peter Cullen and Todd McFarlane are true masters of
television animation. They take what is historically a mediocre medium (many people consider
television inferior to film), and they really build something grand and cinematic out of it.
When I compete publicly, Ive developed quite a reputation for not showing my best work or
putting in my best effort in terms of what I put into the spotlight with myself. Its true, I do fight
while holding back and concealing a lot of my actual real power. Like my infamous comic book

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issues. The interior pages look like a sketchbook. Because technically, thats exactly what they
are, pages from my sketchbook and nothing more. They just happen to have binding on them.
What Im publishing now was not meant, planned, or designed to be shared. What Im
publishing is kind of like an art version of my journal. Maybe I should stop holding back, or stop
being so secretive about holding back. If I keep holding back from the public, and only
performing in isolation and solitude, people will most likely misjudge myself and my abilities.
Theyll probably think thats all Im really capable of, when I know thats not the truth at all. But
they perceive it as how things actually are because its what Im actually putting on display
Therefore it must be his strongest effort. Not by a long shot.
The minute you upload words, art, or video to the internet, or self publish a binded publication
regardless of category, genre, or how talentless and shitty it isis the minute your literary career
begins. Ask Van Gogh. Ask Anne Frank. Ask anyone who got recognized posthumously. How
you live your life, what you give out and put out there. That is your career. Career is life. Life is
career. The more experience you gain, the more of a career you have. Internet publishing, though
most of it outside of YouTube and DeviantART, is still shit, is still publishing, even if its a
video or Jpeg. Thats why the government is funding digital preservation of everything published
on the web, so it CAN be put into context, and people CAN appreciate it and keep up with it in
the future.
Truth is though, no matter how advanced and universal technological innovation gets, and no
matter how easy it gets to become famous, there will be some constants:
1. People will always try to and want to seek out glory, whatever that glory may be.
2. Youll still have to actually DO something notable or respectable to get noticed and
written about, even if its only being born into the position. And everyone wants that
latter something. Everyone wants to be known for skill, as opposed to just status, even if
the first something type does evoke a lot of jealousy.
Ive got a whole new barrage of names of artists who have grown to influence me:

John Woo
Shaw Brothers
Yuen Woo-Ping
Windsor McCay
Ub Iwerks
Min-Woo Hyung
Ed Catmull
Genndy Tartakovsky
Michael Moorcock
Robert E. Howard

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Jean Giraud Moebius

Corey Senderov Jackson
LeSean Thomas

Im starting to become more aware of where my talents lie.

Im an author and screenwriter first, and a designer and conceptual artist second. Its not that I
have more talent in one area than another. But really, what it took me forever to learn is that the
area you have the most confidence in is your real talent, the one you can make a name for
yourself in.
Im actually a pretty big fan of The Last Unicorn. Emotionally speaking, it is like a Da Vinci
painting. Its that moving, aside from being beautiful and cerebral to look at. But theres no
denying the films poignant nature. I can only hope to make an action television movie as poetic
in its aesthetics as The Last Unicorn, even if Im dealing with animation for mature audiences.
Thats the Idealist in me. When youre writing and illustrating fantasy stories, how can you not
aspire to be as good as that film is and was?
Friday, June 10, 2011,
I own 5 whole French cinema comics tomesOban Star-Racers, Moebius: Metallic Memories,
Valerian, Orbital 1: Scars, and Blacksadand Im getting 3 more tomes (all un-translated,
directly from France) in the next few days, all un-translated.
Ive lived an eventful life. I have a lot of life and personal work experience to draw from for my
filmmaking and fiction.
People keep talking, writing, commenting on, focusing on, and telling stories about me in the
media, news, folklore, internet, TV, movies, and pop culture. Kind of makes it hard to live a
normal life with so many people watching me and overanalyzing as well as second guessing my
every nano-move.

Sunday, June 12, 2011,

Im actually a very innovative artist. Im one of the more innovative artists and writers of the
early 21st Century

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Monday, June 13, 2011,

Ive come up with a new story idea. A story about a very evil and vindictive medical doctor. He
lobotomizes his patients through surgical procedures, in an effort to murder free spirits who
show any signs of life, genius, and creativity, wanting to eliminate these emotions and mental
states from his patients, Hitler style to cleanse the world of emotional filth, all because the
good doctor hates the fact that he isnt creative and has deep jealousy baggage and issues with
people he sees as creative, due to a freak accident he got into when he was at a University.
Desiring to turn the world into a bleak and mentally barren place. He lives in Florida.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011,

I think I know what my problem with drawing such childish, shitty comic book pages is. Ive
isolated the phrase and image of comic page, comic book, comic, graphic novel and
sequential art in my mind into something labeled, and left brained. Something Im not putting
any visual creativity into lately. The only way Im going to be able to draw comics is if I dont
think of it as drawing a comic while Im putting pencil and pen mileage on the page. Drawing
comics pages needs to not feel like drawing comics, because all my comics pages turn out bad
because Im not approaching it the right way, the natural way, the upside down photo right-brain
way, where Im not attaching symbols and labels to what I draw. The more I think of it as
drawing comics so I have to be amazing the shittier I will draw comics panels. I also need to
apply the Corey detail (crowded page) method to my comics. Stop drawing like Jhonen, start
drawing like Todd (McFarlane).
(Future note: Those were actually thumbnails, not panels. Makes enough sense)
Theres no one my age living in the United States who draws the way I do. Its bitter, lonely
work. It really is. But its also a lot of fun. And my comics actually are starting to get better. The
thing is, the ones Im the most disappointed with, I guess I kind of forgot that those were gesture
drawings, or sequential art gesture pages as I call them. I should not judge the quality of my
finished art on unfinished sketches and gesture (Future Note: thumbnail) drawings (The Natural
Way to Draw) alone! That way of thinkingthat everything should start as a squiggle and end as
a squiggleis dangerous!
(Future Note: Um, Yeah. I was stupid back then.)
Wednesday, June 15, 2011,
I am kind of hoping to get good enough to help define the comics and animation standard, by
which all future projects are measured.

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7

Truthfully, I feel like Im just now starting, or at the start of a long, long artistic, cinematic, and
literary journey. I love telling stories inspired by those three things: Literature, cinema, art.
Though Ive done a lot of work in the past, thousands of pages in fact, I feel like its a fraction of
my actual ability, like I can still do a lot more. A ton more actually. Especially in terms of
animation, mainstream fiction, and comic book work. I dont even feel fatigued or tired
currently, though I drew 5 or more comic book pages today in my comics page sketchbook, Ive
still got a lot more pages Ive got marching around in my head. I need to let those visual ideas
escape onto the page until they are comprehensible, and not just a jumbled mess of squiggles and
lines (Future Note: Translation: I drew a lot of big thumbnails without knowing it), and halfformed shapes.
Considering what a big deal I made out of drawing the ultimate super cool actual comic book
sequential art pages and other such verbose terms, as opposed to just sitting down with a comics
sketchpad and just doing it, just making comics like playing a musical instrument or exercise or
writing scripts or somethingWhat was I getting at? Oh yes, working within a structured preestablished framework (i.e. a formatted and tailored-by-me sketchbook) has done wonders for
my comics page productivity. Im actually approaching panels like regular drawings now! And
not just imagery to enhance a storys telling! After a lot of suffering fatigue and/or stress, and
waiting, the time for me to draw pages naturally and semi-easily is here! If I were using my old
system, Id still be drawing stick figures now, and they would be terrible. But now my comics
are actually taking on a solid and tangible form and structure. Making a comics sketchbook has
got to be one of the smartest ideas Ive ever had. If you cant force yourself to do something, set
up a work system like CeltX or comics sketchbooks that will make you write or draw in proper
format, whether you have an easy time with it or not. (Future Note: Comics Psychology 101:
Drawing random comic storyboard pages and page layouts and panel compositions is good
therapy, good at revealing how your unconscious mind thinks when its composing page layouts,
by indicating how you think on paper in terms of telling a visual narrative story on a
unconscious subconscious primal level, with transitions, pacing camera angles, mise-en-scene,
and other elements, like lighting and action.) Because with a structured work format system, you
become accustomed to working in format (screenwriting, comic book penciling) without even
thinking, stressing, or getting a chance to worry about it. Its not so much a crutch as it is a
technical cast to wrap around my broken creative bones and realign the understructure of my
process and heal it into a working recovered whole that wouldnt function right without such a
system: The cast.
Areas of my Profession that Ive refined and am refining
Comic Book Artist (comics sketchbook)
Screenwriter (Celt X left open)

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Areas that could use structure

Storyboard Artist (Sketchbooks)

Layout Artist (Sketchbooks)

Im quickly becoming a young Master Artist, and a Literary Grand Master. Im a Master of quite
a few things. In Art, Im a Master of Form, Anatomy, Perspective, Design, and Ink. Art is
easy enough. Im already a 21st Century Art Master in Training. Im also a 21st Century Film and
Literary Master in Training, as well. Its nice being a genius and Art Master.
And since Im a Master Artist, every line I put down is perfect. If only I had realized this sooner,
and not been so insecure about my art in the past. But at least I can change that now.
If Dave Sim was an atheist who accepted Jesus H. Christ into his life as his Personal Messiah
and Lord and Savior, maybe theres something to that. Maybe it really means something. The
Lord helped Dave Sim perform the miracle of creating Cerebus. No man can create a Miracle
alone. Christ the Lord God is the only one that can perform miracles. I cant exactly say I turned
to God or Christ through all the difficulties Ive dealt with dealing with really, really evil people
who are going to burn in Hell for Eternity, looking back and all. But I know God was looking out
for me back then. Jesus Christ, Lord-God was keeping an eye on me and Protecting me from the
evils of the media and world, and my enemies Satan put in my path as Obstacles to Holiness.
Both my parents had much God in them. They were very at peace with the Lord. The Lord
protects me spiritually and physically, and makes my body strong against any enemies attack.
Im sick of believing theres nothing in this big wide universe other than just the cosmos thats
bigger than yourself. When Im stuck in terms of what to draw, I turn to God and Lord Jesus
Christ for Inspiration. Jesus H. Christ creates all humans as perfect in the beginning. He blessed
my face and body with perfection just as he did to all parts of me. Now that Ive accepted God,
Buddhism, and Christ into my life, maybe they can give me the strength it takes to conceive and
create great art, and make it easier to get to sleep. I cant make an entire book all on my own.
Since everyones forsaken me, both publicly and privately, both people I know and people I
dont know, I still have The Lord-God to keep me company and reward me for my efforts. Ive
been through too much suffering and difficulty NOT to turn to the Glory and Wonder of the
Lord-God. He is the most pure, perfect, powerful thing of all.
I learned a lot from Buddhism.
I dont believe you should preach about and convert people to God, so much as you should live
God if you do in fact believe in the wonder and Glory of The Lord-God.
While I am good at regular drawing and normal art, Ive got a long way to go until Im any good
at drawing actual comics and sequential art, with dialogue and panel compositions, and the like.

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Ive come here to draw some comics, and do a whole shitload of ass-kicking. Im not here to
make friends, or be friends with you, or anyone for that matter. Im here to do my thing, and that
doesnt involve pals, chums, or compliments or praise and all that other crap. Im here to get
down to business.
Online community:

YouTube
Twitter
DeviantART
ASMB
Manga Forums

Why I upload my artwork to Photobucket and WCN, and scan it, and why I need to stop:
Hoping hackers will imitate it so it will get noticed
Hoping people who are fans will see it
Hoping animation studios will see it.
Wanting to be noticed and imitated
Wanting praise
Wanting a job
-------------------------------------------------------What usually happens:
I get dissed
No one acknowledges me as the originator
People rip me off.
My process gets slowed down. Showing off slows me down.
It gives me artist block
Theres a reason hardly anyone in the America I love ever draws fabric, production design, and
martial arts choreographed fighting. Its hard to draw. The drawing difficulty level is an
extremely high one, and reference material is limited to a few notable series and books. Its hard
to make this stuff up

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Tuesday, June 27, 2011,

The Three-Day Rule. My attention span only really holds up for any one particular task or topic
for around 3 or so days. Whatever task I assign myself, it almost always lasts for three days,
then, on the morning of the 4th day, I get fatigued, or run out of energy, or burn out, then pretty
much almost always move onto the next thing, or point of interest. Thats the mechanics of my
technique and work process.
Its the 3-Day Power Limit. I have power and energy for 3 days straight, then its over and onto
the next topic, job, genre, assignment, project, project area/category, research subject.
Finally, Im painting again. Ive also been busy charting the pacing and timing of my manga, and
yes. Its manga, if you ask me anyway.
The only thing that makes my insecurities and anxiety go away is drawing thumbnails and
painting, and maybe writing in this here journal. Ive also been studying my animation producer
book. For once, I feel ahead of everyone else. The only art thats really going to get you
published is sequential art, and Ive already ventured out and begun work on that. I want to paint
using as many coloring and painting techniques as I can. I painted the Max Payne logo from the
film, in dark red. My desire to manage an enterprise/organization/business has even begun
showing up in my dreams while I sleep. It was kind of weird seeing myself or being myself in
these dreams, campaigning, strategizing, running errands, and delegating anyone who will listen,
even in my dreams.
Part of the reason Im choosing to make things happen, instead of just sitting around, waiting for
shit to show upand for people to stop by and for things to happenis that it can be incredibly
depressing, panic-inducing, and irritating, just sitting around receiving information from the
media. Its easy to drown in a sea of useless information through TV and the internet. Especially
when much of that information is misinformation. Lies and mud. It will make you go crazy
thinking your sitting there, collecting dust, getting fat and going crazy because the country makes
itself look like its falling apart.
Saturday, July 2nd, 2011,
As a writer, every word you write makes you better as a writer. Just as when youre an artist,
every new sketch or drawing you do makes you better as an artist. Work = win. Practice results
in great improvement.

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Things to write:

Martial Arts Fight Sequences Narrative Description in script form

Action Scene Narrative Description (weapons, powers, vehicles and violence)
New Earth History
Character Biographies

I should probably realize, its quite dangerous to announce what I do before I do it, pretty much
ever.
I cant think straight. All I can think about is that patent Im probably going to have at some
point in the not too distant future. Its driving me fucking insane. I hate being a genius. No one
understands me. No one in animation or comics did either. My only friends are made up.
Sunday, July 03, 2011,
Plenty of Master artists or writers have written conversational pieces, so-called behind the scenes
expositions in book form: Min-Woo Hyung (Justice N Mercy), Dave Sim (The Cerebus Guide
to Self-Publishing), Ken Wilber (One Taste), Thomas Romain and Savin Yeatman-Eiffel (The
Making of Oban Star Racers), George Lucas (numerous Star Wars-related publications).
I guess Manifesto is my own version of that, even if it is a bit long-winded. Who am I to be
writing one of those books, you ask? Good question. I constantly wonder that myself. But I
didnt write all of these commentary pages with an actual real audience in mind. The only real
audience I had in mind for reading all of this was me, between bouts of churning out paintings
and scripts and model sheets and production design. My Twitter account kind of has a similar
function. Its meant to be conversational. Just like the above mentioned books. I guess I did get a
bit caught up in the moment with the whole director commentary-type thing. Ah well.
There, fixed my window a little bit. Fixed that maddening and annoying hole.
My self-published work sucks. Well, most of it anyway. And Ive published quite a bit. Its just,
I didnt anticipate it to look so sloppy when bound. Its sloppy, unrefined, and it sucks. It has a
very unprofessional and unrefined feel to some of it. Im glad no one can see it other than Lulus
binders and database.
Just as Tarantino has a vision of Asian Action being the new Hollywood and the next
international direction of cinema, Otomo Katsuhiro has at times proceeded into his career with a
similar risk-taking and stylistically-fueled cinematic approach in an effort to focus on where he
see Asian cinema headed, and with books like Hipira, he clearly sees anime headed in a Dark,
Shadowy, Burton-and-Jhonen-esque direction. Dark anime, Gothic anime, and the like. Dark
Fantasy. Were already beginning to see signs of this shift with amazing films such as Karas and
Sword of the Stranger. Ive taken a lot of heat and criticism for this aesthetic choice, but

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Tarantino also got a lot of criticism for doing Kill Bill Vol. 1 just like he did with Pulp Fiction,
and I love those two films. Personally, from the very beginning Ive been trying to draw and
write my own doujinshi version of Kill Bill, with swords, chambara, wuxia, guns, the mafia,
except with more of a George Lucas and Robert E. Howard / Moebius vibe, and painted Black
for my aesthetic pleasure. And in comic or animation format of course. Writing this stuff takes
time.
Cleanup Drawings

Fortunately, Im improving in the area of cleanup. All it takes is real work. The ability to sit
down and just flesh out a final drawing and all the wrinkles and folds that go with it. Cleanup is
actually can be fun and easy, as long as you have an mp3 player, tracing paper, scotch tape,
a flat drawing surface, and an eraser equipped #2 pencil. Thats what I used to finish the
drawing above.
I dont work with other artists unless theyre like minded. I really only work with people
anyone reallywho think like me. Im not interested in people who pretend to think like me like
we see on TV, or god forbid look exactly like me. Not interested in that last type of person. But
yet, I do mostly only hire like minded individuals, which isnt too hard to do in the Chinese,
British, French, and Japanese market. Quite a few artists and writers in the Eurasian international
creative media community think almost exactly like I do (see French comics market journal
entries).
Sunday, July 10, 2011,
Some seriously crazy stuff happening to some of my in laws lately. Some of it actually making
the news. Not going into too many details on that matter. No comment. Still, Im glad shes safe.

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I once had a vision of the American comics industry one day being as big in pop culture in
America as the Japanese comic book industry is in pop culture in Japan. I had a vision.
DeviantART, Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Marvel, Comic-Con and Anime
Expo very much manifest that newfound popularity in a way. But even though comics popularity
is on the rise in America and in bookstores, its success, while it would be as big as Japans if it
came to that, it would be a different type of success than the kind of success Japanese manga-ka
are accustomed to. Its only natural that success in one culture isnt measured, quantified, or
experienced in the same way in 2 to 3 separate and different cultures and countries. In other
words, the statistics are the same, but social interaction, perception of that success, and the
mindset revolving around that success is not. Japan has Osamu Tezuka and Katsuhiro Otomo.
America has Walt Disney, Calvin & Hobbes, Batman, Superman, if were talking about the ultrainternational mainstream. The cultures of America and Japan have changed a lot lately, along
with attitude about what defines and qualifies as success, thanks in part due to the internet, but
the names associated with success have not changed while the culture and technology has. Odd.
The industry is changing. Ive witness this change firsthand, and have braved the minefield. The
adaptation medium has changed into a whole mini-industry, with success stories ranging from
Transformers to Jhonen Vasquez.
Success truly is the best revenge. Succeeding is a much more effective form of vengeance than
any form of sadism or malice ever could be.
Screenwriting and novel writing is a dying art form. American literary narrative in general is a
dying art form. Im keeping it alive.
If I do become rich and powerful, the first thing Im going to do is hire a team of lawyers to seek
an injunction against my parents, doctors, psychiatrists, therapists like Bryant and Jo Ann Cooke
(infamous for being bad doctors) and all the medical people in my life to force them to stop
seeing me and attempting to coerce me into taking antipsychotic drugs like they have been. This
will more than likely increase my energy levels, diminish weight gain, increase creativity, and
allow me to be awake at night, since I dont want to sleep at night all the time, and shouldnt
have to.
My writing and art are functioning at a level well beyond my Zounds childhood days. The
comics I draw now are bigger and more detailed than my early comics ever were. And there seen
by a bazillion times more people. In a way, theyre better. But oddly enough, the artwork I did
before lessons with Phil and the 2000s, is still less crisp than the inks I drew for Zounds years
ago. I also did more than one thumbnail sketch per panel with Zounds, and actually redrew
things.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011,
My standard is a lot higher than other peoples for some reason.

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I learned a new composition trick today. The dividing line 2-character composition concept.
If I get a lot of writing or artwork done and completed in regards to End Times, I think it would
be a much wiser and noble idea to not broadcast it. Tweet bragging seems just a tad bit silly, now
that I think about it. Ive done a lot of writing for my End Times story, around 110, about the
size and density of a feature length screenplay. And the best part is, quite a bit of it is actual
script writing and outlines.
My room is also getting a makeover so it should look a lot better than it has in the last few years
within the last few weeks.
Friday, July 15, 2011,
Got an email inquiry from the Head of Marketing at a Berlin-based art prints retail site that sells
primarily to Europe, but also to America. He said theyre interested in selling my art, where I can
be compensated for each sale. Ive been picking out some piece to submit to them, if theyre
interested in submissions. Fortunately, Ive got some of my older art I can sell. Im happy
someone wants to sell my art and has that much confidence. They also reminded me indirectly
that I still have a portfolio.deviantart.com site up, but I lost the URL and closed my other DA
account (the regular one). I completely forgot I had that account. I guess it did pay off. Now Im
going to probably get to sell Expressionist illustrations through the capital of German
Expressionism itself: Germany! Thats international art credibility. My art might sell a lot better
to the Euro market (France, Germany, Britain) and the Southeast Asian market than the U.S.
market by quite a bit. Im in love with the idea of shipping and selling worldwide though. I do
like a prospect like that.
Business PR Lesson of the Day: If no one in your home town or country is willing to bother
endorsing or even advertising or supporting you, seek allies and assistance elsewhere. If no one
in America wants to help you succeed, seek help overseas, technologically and financially.
Theres always someone out there who can help you, but they might not actually be living in
your own country.
Never leave up to Japanimation what you can draw yourself, or hire equally talented European
and American production designers, animators, writers, directors, and storyboard artists to do
with your own resources.
I need no Japanese staff of artists, because I can draw just as well as many Japanese animation
artists. Im just as good as a Japanese designer. As a matter of fact, some of them even like my
work as an American artist. The only artists who want to hire Japanese artists to work for them
are people who cant draw as well as the Japanese do in Tokyo. I dont have that hindrance. My
art style is incredibly detailed and stylistic too.

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Wednesday, July 20, 2011,

Im NOT powerful. Im influential. Vastly influential. I cant command things. I cant just say I
want something and get it like a politician or film director can. Influential means people are
directly and/or indirectly influenced by you and perhaps your contributions to society, like if you
create something thats widely used, like I did. Power means you can exert some form of force
and can tell someone to do something and theyll do it. I have none of that. Im influential. NOT
powerful. My influence on this and future generations will outlive me, more than likely. I dont
entirely control my influence. Its taken on a life and world of its own and goes far beyond me,
like any good influence someone creates does. Better to have influence than power. Influence is
passive, meaning one doesnt use or need force to exert it. It just is. Power is raw control. Force.
Now that I am highly influential, for the most part I dont feel an overwhelming need to gloat or
brag about it. It just is. Influence is passive power. Power is force. Or at least, thats the way
theyre perceived by many.
About The Resistance. From Doing The Work. The Resistance is a very real, very threatening
menace to society and our well being and success. How much resistance one faces while trying
to achieve a goal or ambition is directly proportionate to how worthwhile that goal is of
pursuing. For example, drinking energy to get the energy to do causal exercise to become healthy
again? How my mom is for energy and exercise, but not speeding up my heart rate to burn
calories automatically with energy drinks because its dangerous in her mind? Resistance. Bully
neighbors? Resistance. Viacoms conspiring against me: Resistance. People impersonating me
on TV trying to drive my fans away and ruin my reputation and name (Joe)? Resistance. Fatigue
and unease due to working hard at drawing? Resistance. Bryan Johnston? Resistance. My family
not acknowledging Bryan Johnston as a threat against everything I represent and stand for and
my health and well being in general? Resistance. People online writing rude, dismissive, and
condescending things about me and my credibility? Resistance. My libido? Resistance. Living in
the middle of Florida? Resistance. Theyre all blocks and barricades to True Self-Actualization
of the Self.
If nothing else, I hope to carry a message that inspires love, and compassion for all people
(especially the down and out), and hope in all people, or at least anyone who is willing to listen.
Honestly, the more time I spend thinking about children, and my own (birth) parents, the more I
feel I might make a good father, parent, and husband. Who inspired this in me? My mothers,
Peggy and Mary Anne, my birth mom and adoptive mom), my birth father, and most of all,
Nicole. I saw and still see a certain chemistry and relationship foundation in them. Relationships
with solid foundations build lives with solid foundations. Right now, my life, and some of the
people around me is parasitic and hostile. But fortunately, I doubt that will last. As long as Im
living my dream, the hostility, whether sooner or later will eventually be blocked and subdued by
an intervention from the Gods, or whatever power and positive energy exists in this world. I give
out too much positive energy not to ever get some of it back. YouTube is the perfect example of

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this. YouTube repays all my positive energy with more power and positive energy, and little
negative. Its one of my sources of strength, the part all my enemies fear and hate: The Internet:
The Place where I not only survive, but help the world, and thrive. Actually, thats just
computers in general. I dont fear technology, like so many do. No true Rational, no true Man
of Science, such as myself, could ever truly fear technology. Especially with the current state
of the internet. If nothing else, in technology, I see hope. To me, the hope in technology is its
innovation and potential. The New Frontier. The Wild West. The Pioneer Years. The
Entrepreneurs Dream Come True. I dont fear technology, Im not an old person or senior
citizen. Im still young, and therefore still have plenty of energy and future experience left to
invest in this new medium. Same with the science and art of computers. I fear evil and
sociopathic people like Bryan Johnston who abuse the technology and endlessly attempt to use it
for misdeeds and evil, but I dont fear the actual technology theyre using. Thats in neutral
territory. Technology and Science isnt evil unless people in authority or with intelligence choose
to make it so, like hacker-crackers and whatnot, unethical hackers and various forms of
cybercriminals, who plenty of Law Enforcement has its sights set on already. Clearly, the Law
doesnt trust technology, even when it is popular. The criminals got to the internet before us.
Its our job to apprehend them. I love cockamamie theories too, especially ones about 9-11.
Family Guy? Hmm. What kind of Resistance Antagonist inspired bitchery are we cooking up
tonight.
My vast influence on the world is ubiquitous and omnipresent. I never get tired of saying that
one! I might be weird, but Im still vastly influential, regardless. Im now one of the most
influential professionals in the world.
Im not that powerful in big business or entertainment, but in terms of power, in terms of
technology, media, and computers, Im one of the most powerful people on the entire internet.
Purely because of what I did for YouTube and anime. Its nice being one of the most influential
people in the entire world and United States, even if Im not allowed to admit this online.
People who write those Most Influential People lists really expect people to believe THEYRE
the most influential list, when one of the most influential people of all (yours truly) isnt even on
that list? What a crock of shit.
You know, I HATE drawing comics now. I hate everything about it, every last bit of it. I hope it
dies a horrible death and burns down or gets shot by a militant terrorist or something.
Its nothing like what it used to be. Its not worth pursuing anymore. So it can burn down to
oblivion for all I care.
Animation, comics, anime, manga, and TVand the people who endorse such idiocyhave
become the bad guys. Theyre the Villains of my life story. Ill be damned if I conform and sell
out to them.

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OK, Ive made my point. The past is dead to me. Art is dead to me. Boo hoo. Moving on.
Im beginning to think due to how good I am with science, no one else really knows how to do
what I do for my work. I created it.
My attorney actually works for a Silicon Valley, Fortune 1000 tech company. This is my first
real direct business negotiation and relation with someone from Silicon Valley, or really, my first
business relation with anyone in big business of any manufacturing industry. Almost as good as
the time I found Steve Blum (email) and John Lasseter (signing and public speaking), not at the
same time, of course. I also have found Jhonen Vasquez, Jamie S. Rich, Dave Sim, and Todd
McFarlane.
AnimeTVs pretty sick of me by now, so I wont put them in that context. Theyre on their own.
I think even the fact that I still bother to even watch their show pisses them off. Oh well, moving
on.
Im not an artist or writer anymore. Im an entrepreneur. Im a licensor.
Ive erased and eradicated any and all signs of animated or family programming from my digital
cable box. There isnt anything on those channels worth watching anymore anyway. I think Ive
pretty much already said everything thats on my mind. I hate the sound of laughter, especially
on television, and I hate watching people fake smiling, or even posing for a camera. I cant bring
myself to endorse such bullshit.
Ive got to be careful not to let success go to my head. It already has. Its made me incredibly
angry at those who underestimated and looked down upon me, condescendingly. This sudden
intense anger Im feeling has been festering over time. Ever since I failed in my first career and
people noticed I was failing and said so but intentionally did nothing about it. Made me so mad.
Its okay. Im safe now. The ties have been severed. I wont be returning to the scene of the
abusers and evil people.
Experience my power on YouTube.
My digital engineering abilities are a Gift From GOD, which no one else has or has been blessed
with. Not only has God blessed my brain and hands with a profitable gift. Hes blessed me with
an individualized niche that no one else knows how to do. I had to study an advanced computer
science textbook to know half the basics I know now. That textbook, Computer Concepts, taught
me the fundamentals of computer science. I know it back to front. I studied it intensely for 5-10
years. Ive also studied a book on basic computer programming with Liberty BASIC.
I now like Roku almost as much as Google. Anthony Wood, the inventor of DVR and the
founder and co-inventor and chief engineer of Roku is my current hero of the moment. Hes
what Jhonen used to be to me.

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I cant sellout to Japan! America is counting on me! Im the one thing (The IT leader) stopping
Japan and China from beating us and this country in the Tech sector. Things like YouTube. And
Google. The Japanese IT industry cant compete with that. They want to beat us, and if they ever
do, theyll boast and brag and make us Americans feel like shit about it for the rest of eternity.
Theres no recovering from a fall like that. I love my country, and I for one am not going to let
this Great Nation, The United States of America fall behind Asia and Europe in the IT race. Im
Americas poster-boy for innovation, science, writing, technology, and progress. America has the
greatest military and science and government (and economy) in the world. But we also have the
best computers in the world.
Im definitely defeated. But I may as well turn defeat into future victory. Or turn my loss into my
gain. For instance, I lost out on YouTube financially. But I did gain some confidence and skills
from my experience in dealing with YouTube.
Sunday, July 24th, 2011
This was a triumph. I achieved something huge today. I engineered my first working folder
management user interface for my computer today, using nothing more than some obscure
specialized Java application software. My systems are getting more complex. I programmed my
own UI (user interface).
When my computer is wireless, it creates a forcefield of safety energy around me and anywhere I
go on my comp or online. No one is able to track and map what Im doing like theyre able to do
when Im not wireless. Wi-Fi rocks! Especially considering how it blocks any and all viruses and
cyber-spies. As long as its wireless, its impossible for the media to intrude upon, and its safe.
Information Management and Safety 101: Go wireless.
Having power is indeed enjoyable, and a valuable asset. But like any valuable asset, it can
endanger your privacy and well being if the wrong people find out about it and know you
possess it. This is why its always best (more often than not) for truly powerful people to go
incognito and anonymously for as much as possible. Just like if youre super rich someone can
sue or endanger you, and make you feel like you have a target on your back, so to can power do
the same thing. Power is invisible unless were talking about the results it gets or thee forces it
moves, but still, much of that element is still very intangible. Never intentionally advertise a
valuable asset you posses, unless youre prepared and protected at least a decent amount from the
risk and danger that goes with it. When you have power, doing something as simple as revealing
your identity in any public way whatsoever is incredibly dangerous. Theres a price to pay for
possessing assets. Ill never brag about my power publicly ever again. Not now that I know about
this.

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Tuesday, July 26, 2011,

I dont just need to build a career. I need to build a life. MY life. I dont just need a DIY
autonomous career. I need to build a DIY autonomous life! Something real and tangible. Not just
in my mind, on the comp, or on paper.
My parents are the most infamous people in my family other than my adoptive brother. Hes
really infamous too. Theyre infamous for being incredibly annoying, unsympathetic, nonempathic sociopaths and narcissists, who think I should be grateful to them for treating me worse
than most other people do.
I was carrying some serious cash in a check Mrs. Hess wrote me. Put all that money in the bank
though. Its for my career. That $210 is going toward my career. Every dollar in my bank
account matters apparently. In my opinion, this is true.
From now on, 90% of the money in any and all paychecks is being forwarded to my bank
account, from today onward. Its time I wised up and got serious about my goals.
Finally, Im getting serious about my high powered finances. Id rather accumulate money and
wait, than get all impatient like and go on a mad Amazon spending spree with my debit card.
Already done enough of that. At one point I went completely overboard in my spending,
spending at least $200 to $300 at online retailers. The people Im buying from are getting rich,
but more importantly, I am not Im going to change that. I made a resolution in January of 2010
to write, as a screenwriter which segued into the novelist thing. And now Im making a new
resolution in July of 2011: Stay clean and accumulate wealth by saving all my money and
spending only barely any of it, or not any at all. Im being watched 24/7 in the most threatening
and dangerous life threatening way possible by crazy fuckers, so Ive got to watch myself. These
people have no limits or boundaries. Theyre aim is probably to do me a whole lot of harm, if not
kill me and drive me crazy like they already are. Fortunately everyone hates them already. And
no one will care when they die. No one cares when skunks die. They smell like a corpse when
theyre ALIVE, and they smell like a corpse when theyre dead. Not much of a difference if you
ask me. DJ may as well be dead. His lifes pretty worthless, he has no friends, and no one likes
him. So its no skin off my back.
So for now, my current power level is at 210: in other words, $210. If I spend all that money, I
lose its equivalent power level and my power level returns to 0.

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Friday, July 29, 2011,

Stories-To-Novels I can work on,

End Times
December Waits
The Phantom and the Voice on the Phone
Shadow Walker
The Dream Lords
Oliver-E: Quantum Sorceror

The archetypal depth and profundity of my intellectual, academic, and creative work knows no
bounds. By academic, I mean The Essays. To me, the more profound the project, the more
entertaining and creative it is. Is there any insight there? Is there a lesson or moral to be learned?
Thats partially why I like icons, Jungian and mythological archetypes, philosophical theories,
and science so much. Its profound.
That one bully neighbor finally gets arrested for his drunk and disorderly conduct and is hauled
away by the cops for harassing everyone around him and being a generally ill tempered and vile
belligerent sociopath, and suddenly HE wants pity because Im looking at naked people on
his computer?? He actually thinks looking at porn online somehow makes me as bad as all the
curse words ad homophobic slurs hes screamed at me from across the fence? All the times hes
bullied and molested my mind psychologically with stalker-ish bullying behavior and gaslighting
techniques of a sociopath, and suddenly he shouldnt be getting arrested?? Hes been
wronged?? Im the bad guy because of what I use my computer for? What a psychopath.
Worst. Bullies/Neighbors. Ever.
I kind of have a natural gift for writing, literature, computers, electronics, and the dramatic.
Powerful Racial and Ethnic Icons and Role Models I admire (but often dont mention in writing):

Barack Obama
The Buddha
Martin Luther King
The Dalai Lama
Bruce Lee
Michael Jackson
Aaron McGruder
Jimmy Hendrix
Abraham Lincoln
Katsuhiro Otomo

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There arent many books about multiracial cultural and racial identity.
Honestly, I cant really think of any tan-skinned American entrepreneurs, let alone Silicon
Valley ones. Im one of the first major tan-skinned, multiracial engineers and inventors. Good
god thats going to be the subject of a lot of debate later in my life. I just know it. I guess I can
always play dumb, like some people already expect me too. No ethnic person can be that smart.
Or prolifically literate and creative. Stay out of Forbes, boy. That sort of thing.
The truth is, racism, discrimination, and prejudice is a part of history. With Germany, it
manifested as hatred against Jewish people. With America, it started off and manifested as
slavery. Yes, the majority of people in certain, if not most nations, were discriminatory in the
past. But as many factors today indicate, that is not how the majority of people think now, or
currently. Let it go. Its in the past. People who have no choice over their personality, what they
are, or their biology, and should not automatically be considered evil just because of who their
ancestors were. As a Natural Healer, I must not just based only on the past. Healing, True
Healing, takes time, and wounds of the past and insult to cultures and races and religions can
only be healed by building a more open and less hateful future. Honestly, if someone exists the
way they are, God makes all people as they naturally are. Hating someone who is made and
wired differently than you or me is essentially committing blasphemy against Gods Holy
Design. Racism and Prejudice goes against God, and what God really wants, which is peace,
harmony, and healing. Thats what heaven is, and if the world wants to mimic Gods Design, it
needs to find peace, harmony, and prosperity, in itself and in philosophy refers to as The Other.
Racism teaches us to destroy and bully the other, which is why it is evil and not on the side of
God, or at the very least, an indicator of true mental illness and sociopathology. Hatred is a trait
of the Sociopath. The Sociopath is the most Hateful person there is. Hatred is a modern day Sin
against God.
Diffiuclties on the Path to Success (from a Traditional Standpoint)

Single
Adopted
Overweight
Disheveled
Multiracial
Unmarried
No prior work history or experience
Tan-Skinned
Florida
The South
Living in Poverty
Secular

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What do I think of Joaquin Dos Santos? Hed probably never in a million years want to work for
me. I have no control over a worker like that and am all too aware of it. I know hes a little too
pro-Avatar to be reliable, so Im definitely not counting on being able to rely on him for fight
production. Hes a separate entity, thats pretty much all there is to it. Our politics obviously
differ. Its not that I dont want to work with him. Id love to work with him, but Im 60% hed
never work for a guy like me in a million years, even IF hes worked for JM Animation and
Titmouse. J.M. and Titmouse, overall dont really seem to have an unspoken beef with me. They
seem easier to work with than Michael Dante Dimartino and Brian Kionowhatshisface. They
think Monos a joke, most likely. And I doubt they even know what a comic like Blacksad is.
I just hope Im up to the task of using my own art style to integrate the looks of the animation
choreography of Joaquin Dos Santos with the sci-fi production design of Corey Senderov
Jackson. Since they dont seem to want to pursue that never before seen integrated style
themselves, I guess Im going to have to offer up my own fan-art interpretation of it. When
youre unable to hire specific people, sometimes youve just got to fill in the pieces yourself.
Japanese and American anime fans, for the most part, hate me and everything I do, and say
everything I do is bad and sucks, regardless of how much I pioneered YouTube. No amount of
promotion or convincing of other people or the fans on my part is going to ever change that. I
lack charisma. People DONT like me, and therefore my sales are very poor. Whether or not they
like you influences your sales. If the fans think youre an asshole like they do me, youll go
broke, much like I have. The animation industry is more social than ever. It has a lot to do with
me not being a socialize, and the industry wanting every last person to be social.
I dont ever remember my time spent in unemployment being thislucrative before. Awesome!
Ive got like tons of free videos to watch!
Best Fighting Sequences For a New Anime Series:

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Generator Rex
Black Dynamite
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (All Seasons)

Ive gone back to choreography mode. Ive actually been watching freestyle dance choreography
from So You Think You Can Dance on Ovation TV. Those people have some amazing moves. I
got inspired. I actually invented some of my own dance moves, primarily involving the legs and
feet. This is the first time Ive ever practiced dancing. Ive practiced fighting, tai chi, yoga, and
martial arts, but never dancing until now. Im actually kind of compelled to keep in shape by
keeping my body moving, even if its just to do a tai chi routine or dance choreography.

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My strategic plan is going well so far. Im actually pretty good at business planning.
When asked about his opinions on the state of the animation industry in Japan, the anime
veteran points out that world-wide economic troubles are creating unnatural levels of
competition in the animation realm.
Animation Magazine
I actually kind of like being a super-genius.
Joseph M. Alberts: Super-Genius.
Im actually a Master Magician, an Illusionist with a Magicians Secret.
YouTube is my grand illusion. Howd he get video to appear on his computer??
I have no title other than scientist right now.
Modern Production Elements of Western Animation (New, to the West at least)
Where the TV Animation Innovation is

Fight Design; Fight Choreography

Production Design; Architecture and Perspective (fantasy and science-fiction)
Mecha; Machines
Costume Design
Lighting Conceptual Art Design
Conceptual Art
Screenwriting
Action; Weapons
Aspect-To-Aspect Transitions

Being trapped as an invisible man floating around a small room, with treasure Im unable to
spend, is pretty depressing. I dont like being a prisoner to this room.
Naturally, Im drawn to dramatic and cinematic pages. Through studying Akira and French
comics, Ive realized what type of comics page best fits my drafting style. Large page 2-panel
compositions are my specialty. The large 2-panel composition is the style Im most drawn to,
and its the kind of page I have the easiest time drawing. Drawing a dividing line going through
the middle or bottom of the page, and drawing 2 large images to fit those camera shots or panels;
now that I think about it, it is pretty dramatic and cinematic! Ive found my natural style. I should
make all my comics panel page compositions 2 panels. Thats the magic formula. 2 is the magic
number. Im naturally comfortable drawing large 2 and 3 panel page compositions. Ive already

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drawn lots of 2 and 3 panel compositions. Suddenly drawing 200 pages of 2 and 3 panel pages
doesnt seem so difficult anymore!
My panel composition style is awesome and beyond perfect. It has a certain dynamic flow to it. I
love how dramatic, detailed, and cinematic my page layouts are becoming.

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Chapter 58
(Windows Vista)

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2

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Nearly all my professional idols and heroes have always told me how much they love my
artwork. And yet, the upstarts, fans, and various assortments of industry trolls and wannabes
cant stop going on about how much they hate it. Its like, the more professional they are, the
happier they are for others success. The less professional they are, the less supportive they are of
others.
There is a whole hell of a lot of pressure to excel in animation and comics. Even when youre
obscure like me. And theres even more pressure to succeed in anime and manga too. When
youre talking about famous entertainment genres like action, animation, and comics, the
pressure will always be high.
My adoptive mom has admitted she thinks Im beginning to become a bit influential now. Better
some encouragement than none, I guess. She hasnt said things like that before, even when I
asked her.
Sword Manga:

Blade of the Immortal

Afro Samurai
Rurouni Kenshin
Vagabond
Claymore
One Piece
Chinese Manga

Sword Comics:

Usagi Yojimbo
Conan The Barbarian
Star Wars

Sword Anime

Rurouni Kenshin
Blade of the Immortal
Yu Yu Hakusho
Murder Princess
Claymore
Afro Samurai
Escaflowne
X/1999

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3

Sword of the Stranger

Karas

Im working on an End Times revamp. One with actual real sequential art, and not that sad
pathetic little sample bit I drew some time ago. This time I want to make End Times more
refined, with less cut and pasting from my sketchbook, unless that technique still works.
Mono Series:

End Times (pilot)

End Times: Visions
End Times (the revamp)

End Times: 00
End Times: 2.0

New End Times: Adding a Lotta Things!

More weapons
More Actual Sequential Art
More Perspective
More Martial Arts
More Noir

Japanese manga and Star Wars aside, the only auteurs in comics who come anywhere close to
achieving my level of science-fiction fantasy graphic novel storytelling and art quality would be
the French comic book scene. Id like to say America has a rich history of science fiction and
fantasy graphic novels, but honestly, most of what Ive seen on places like Amazon and on
online retailersand the few non-established titles produced in the United States are actually
really weak and horrible. The art is bad, the story and dialogue, even worse. The storytelling,
mediocre and clich.
Current Genre and Sub-Genre Favorites:

Wuxia
Sword and Planet Science-Fantasy Pulp Literature
French Auteur Comic Trades (post-2000)
Action and SF Seinen Manga
SF Anime
Fight Animation Choreography

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Monday, August 22, 2011 (continued),

I dont know. Maybe the critics are right. Maybe I am a filthy moronic jerk and fool of epic
proportions, a fraud, wallowing in his own filth and waste debris all day (every day). Ive lost my
talent for drawing, at least temporarily. I dont really show a talent for art like I did in the past.
Every drawing I do looks lazy, half-assed, and mediocre. Who am I kidding. I can name at least
5 different TV shows from 5 different media conglomerates who will probably not only agree
with this misguided sentiment, but quote me on it in the form of character dialogue, not crediting
me for the original statement. So theres that too.
Thats kind of funny. For a long time, ever since like 2003 around when Invader Zim ended, for
a long time Ive felt Jhonen should draw more comics. He hasnt yet though. But the ironic part
is currently he seems to be hoping I draw more comics! Awesome! Ive never had someone hope
I draw new comics before. I really appreciate that.
How can I draw new panels and storys out in panel form? I should probably start with panel
thumbnails.
With comic books in America, why do I keep trying so hard? Most comics in America arent
well drawn or designed, and many of them are ugly and sub-literate. Im feeling insecure. Am I
struggling for a standard in comics that doesnt exist yet? I need to stick to exaggerated SF
architecture and textures like Orbital and Darkminds.

Im actually starting to get sort of cinematic in my comic book pages. Ive been studying other
comics, and Im actually starting to get pretty good at utilizing camera angles of buildings in

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5

perspective and whatnot. This kind of dynamic progress is unusual for me. Usually it takes
forever for me to learn something like anatomy and costume design, and yet in some ways I feel
like perspective and vanishing points come naturally to me. Ive drawn buildings in perspective
before, but not usually that Im able to fit in a panel or two.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011,
Lance Heiskell (aka Achknee). Now THERES a good businessperson. Truly a great
entrepreneur. Ive admired his business skills and cool composure when I first met him online,
years back when the Oni Press Message Boards were still up. That was a fun place to be online,
back in the day. At one point it kind of stopped being as enjoyable to be there, what with fanboy
troll and all that. But yeah, Im huge fan of Lance Heiskell, brand manager of Funimation. He
makes big media and big business fun. For a Texan, hes all right. Trinity Blood is dubbed by
Funimation. So are Dragonball Z, Claymore, and Yu Yu Hakusho. Four of my all time favorite
anime. I dont like everything Funimation dubs, but none of it is all that bad usually. Some of the
English music adaptation theyve done for titles theyve gotten the rights too are quite
memorable and infectious. Like Yu Yu Hakusho and whatnot. I wish Funimation did more
shows like Yu Yu Hakusho. Heiskell played a big part in helping Funimation become recognized
for being able to go beyond just Dragonball Z.
Old American Shows to Study

The Maxx
Spawn
Batman: Animated

Favorite books on Japanese Warriors I own:

Bushido: The Code of the Samurai by Inazu Nitobe

Ninja Shadow Hand: The Art of Invisibility by Dr. Ha Ha Lung and Christopher Prowant

Invisibility teaches some valuable lessons about the art of stealth and invisibility. And the truth
about my invisibility is, almost no one has seen my real face. Just a thousand faces that look
lesser so. I can live with that. That still reveals no one knows what I really do look like in real
life. Next to no one has seen my real face. Im good at being invisible while Im alive.
I also read books on will-power, and study them. Intensely.
Ive read:

The Iron Will by Orison Swett Marden

The Skinny on Will-Power: How To Develop Self-Discipline

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My family on the other hand, seems to take pleasure in doing the opposite and never bothering to
read anything on these topics. They dont have honorable will-power OR invisibility.
Real, teamwork supports winners. But real teamwork, not fake teamwork, isnt about defining
winners and losers or any other kind of judgementalism. Just because youre part of a
community or team doesnt automatically give you the right to pass judgment on peers. That
kind of thinking, the mob mentality, is not always appropriate. Violent, aggressive teams do not
always work. There needs to be diplomacy an negotiation.
The nihilists have won. Weve won this battle, for now. The old way of life we knew, whether in
technology, politics, media, communications, industry business, production, economy, war,
military, science, culture, justice, cultural identity, entertainment and spirituality, both for better
and worse, is out of power, and a new way of livingin whatever form it takes for most if not all
people now, has taken the form of what seems to be a status quo. Ideal living is just that: An
ideal. Daily life is always going to have its share of burdens. For now that seems to be terrorism,
a lack of quality in the media, and the Great Recession. These problems evade solution, but if
one can look past detractors and the negative, were living in a surprisingly positive, popular, and
beneficial era of humanitys history: The Early Beginnings of the New Millennium.
Do powerful, rich, authoritative, and established people always feel they need to get married and
spawn kids, because Im not going to do that.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011,
I must confess, Adult Swim is one of the best written programming blocks on modern television,
maybe one of the best, most intelligently written programming blocks in cable TV history. Its
just as smart as Frasier, The X-Files, Seinfeld, and the Simpsons are.
Sometimes I have to sit back and ask myself. Isnt it enough just to be a good nonfiction writer?
You have to be a good storyteller, narrator, designer, and artist too?
I saw Elijah Woods voice on American Dad. Now that I see him on something other than Lord
of the Rings, could it be another casting dream? OK, you ARE a good writer Seth MacFarlane. I
hope youre happy now. Elijah Wood is like Steven Jay Blum in some ways. Its more than just
acting. Its theatrical. Its a presence. And then theres the whole Bridge to the Fantasy Realm
thing. Until right now I was unaware Elijah Wood even did voice over TV work. Hed probably
LOVE to do a dramatic show. Jeff Goldbloom? Also a good voiceover investment. I should
make a list of actors I want to work with. But its hard to imagine working with celebrities like
that in dramatic animation. Nothing is impossible though. Still, my main man is still Blum.
Racism has held my career back quite a bit. Because Im not really entirely white, people dont
exactly entirely listen to me. Because of my tan skin, no one takes me seriously as an intellectual.
Im the Barack Obama of creativity.

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Im not going to kill myself or anything, but for all I know, I could die of old age or a heart
attack before my time. I could die before anyone in mainstream showbusiness greenlights,
publishes, or distributes any project Ive created. This could have to do with the fact that I have
problem finishing my projects. I dont want to suffer posthumous recognition if I dont have
to. I want success during my life. I always have. It seems like media and fans openly defy me by
refusing to recognize me in any sort of official way.
Sunday, September 4th, 2011,
Things have actually been going better than usual. Not too stressful actually. I cant think of
anything specifically to talk about. Ive pretty much addressed every major topic in my life.
Monday, September 05, 2011,
I dont know what to do. What am I going to do. I create, wrote, and drew what is possibly the
worst comic book one shot artwork in the history of comics! I SUCK!!!!! The lines have no
confidence, security, effort, or soul. The images are slapped together. Theres no sense of
narrative. Theres no polish there. Its the worst comic book one-shot ever created. I hate myself
right now, for letting myself go and produce something so horrible. Im the Ed Wood of comics.
Great. Im going to be infamous for how bad my comics are if I dont watch myself. Its so sad.
Im so untalented. Its disgusting.
No one takes me seriously as an entertainer. Everytime I talk about my drawing process online,
people think its a fucking joke. They think Im fucking joking, that I dont really have any
sincerity to my words, and that I dont really mean what I say and do. Its the ultimate cruel joke
on me. No one takes me seriously. No one wants to be on my side, mostly because people dont
treat me like Im being serious. I fucking hate it.
Im starting to become aware Im a force of nature. I dont have to worry about power.
In other words, my creative and intellectual work is a tour de force. In a way, so is my
personality, not that thats something I did on purpose.
I like computers and I like animation and comics. For a long time now Ive been pursuing all
three fields independently, while also trying to integrate them in some way. But how do you turn
it off. I cant shut this thing off. Thats the scary part. Everyone wants to be a tour de force, to
achieve that power in the world, but once you have it: how do you breathe? How do you shut it
off?
Im not a Christian or Catholic, but I believe in Divine Intervention and Divine Retribution. How
else can one explain Obama being able to kill Bin Laden.
I should be proud of myself, Ive lived through and survived life in 2 separate centuries: The
Twentieth Century and the Twenty-First Century (1900 2100). I was basically obscure and no

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one knew who I was in the 1900s, at the end of and last decade of the 1900s. It wasnt until 2 to
3 years after the year 2000 when the media and society started noticing me. And I remember
very clearly, when I was first introduced to the public and media, it was not on positive terms.
Not at all. It was an unfriendly welcome and hostile introduction on numerous levels, particularly
in the 20022003 period.
I have some of the greatest videos in the world at my disposal. I shouldnt be this sweaty and
lethargic and fat. I shouldnt be this burdened and annoyed, and yet I am. I must not be watching
enough of my own videos and Roku.
My name is I.L.M.
Well, I got the funding. All the groundwork is in place. I have representation, and a budget. This
project is becoming more stable with each passing month.
Sunday, September 11, 2011,
Id write more about what today symbolizes, but I did a pretty extensive write up in my blog last
night at midnight.
Monday, September 12, 2011,
No ones ever really done, created, drawn or written a character like my character Mono Jubei
before. Mono is 100% original and new. Hes innovative, what with his black coat and sharp,
thin blade, and his spikey brown hair. Im very proud of Mono Jubei. From the moment I
unveiled him online, he did end up being imitated a lot.
Manufacturing and industry actually kind of runs in my familymy birth family technically.
My birth father, Glenis Ralph Sorrell for example was a skilled laborer, an automotive
manufacturer, according to his death certificate.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011,
I see the possibility of being an economically and financially powerful and successful artist in
my future. In the next 10 years, theres a good chance I could be one rich artist-writer-producer.
Ill have capital, and lots of it. I dont think Ill have any real fame though. Ill have money, but I
definitely dont want fame. I dont really have any overwhelming desire to be famous. Im good
with media, business, small business, and big business. If I do become rich, I doubt Id abuse
power like that, or even take it for granted. And I wouldnt show off that kind of power or
showcase it either. I need to clean my office. Right now, my bedroom makes a great office. I do
a lot of managerial things already. I manage notes and what little capital I have now. Ive also
been filling out paperwork, but have been dragging a bit. I love having a desk. You dont really
have an office unless you have a desk to work at. The idea of having money available for food,

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drinks, anime and Hong Kong DVD box sets, manga, music, and comics is appealing to me more
and more, especially now that my business goals are closer than ever to being met. When you
meet your business goals, that also means you can meet your convenience and recreational goals.
I did go through a period of deep insecurity and uncertainty a few years back, when no one was
paying me for my contributions to a certain website. Ill never make a mistake like that again.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Science-Fiction, Fantasy, and Science Fantasy and all their subgenres are three of the most
creative genre there are, this side of the avant-garde, indie, comics, and animation.
Cary and Andrew and Mom have all got some serious issue with their blood pressure. They all
have high blood pressure. Im the only person living in this house who doesnt have
psychotically high blood pressure
Areas to develop discipline:

Writing Fiction
Screenwriting
Picking up a pencil and Storyboarding
Picking up a pencil and drawing comics

Monday, September 26, 2011,

There are millions of anime drawings out there, in Japan, in print in America, and on the web,
maybe even billions of anime drawings in existence. So when you have that much of it, is it even
a commodity, and how do you contextualize such a vast ocean of artwork? People have become
desensitized to the original appeal of anime art, because theres so much of it that just attempts to
be cute and not actually detailed, which doesnt really count for anything.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011,
American TV traditional animation is near-dead, creatively and technically. What remains is a
corpse of an industry that once was. The only thing keeping it alive is shows like Thundercats
which came out this year, and a handful of shows that came up a few years back and are
continuing today. Action could singlehandedly save animation, and help us go back to rivaling
Japan, instead of failing to compete with them. If we dont make new action and/or adventure
shows with high production values, our little TV industry will die.

Thursday, September 29, 2011,

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For every 10 to 20 pages of comic book art, youre really only going to be happy with 1 or 2
pages of that 10 to 20. That is why Ive done over 60 pages of comic book layouts, mostly
thumbnails, and yet am only happy with 7 to 8 pages of that group, most of which I had spent the
extra time to develop, polish, and clean up into finished pieces. The more time I spend polishing
my work, the more Im going to like it.
That drawing of Oliver-E in the H.U.I. dashboard, is really detailed for a rough sketch.

Its amazing what you can do with tracing paper, like what I did, where you develop certain
segments of a drawing individually, hence leading to a greater sense of detail. Artful tracing is
how they draw things like Image Comics and Anime Animation Cells / Storybaords, and its
also how I can draw like Corey Senderov Jackson, Katsuhiro Otomo, Syd Mead, Todd
McFarlane and Moebius, the kings of layered detail. And to think, I achieved a detail level of
this caliber without too much fretting, preparation, stress, fatigue, depression, or anxiety this time
around. And thats because I took breaks. I didnt draw it all in one sitting or session. I broke the
seat and the machine parts up into segments that I did on and off throughout the day.
George Lucass Star Wars, John Woo, Quentin Tarantino, The Matrix, and Bruce Lee all heavily
influenced anime and manga choreography.
Sunday, October 2nd, 2011,

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Until recently, Ive been guilty of constantly overpromising, overdoing, and under-delivering in
comics terms. Sucks.
Eh! Goals, and life goals are for chumps. If you have a goal or numerous goals but no skill or
discipline or action taken to achieve them, youll never get there. Better to be directionless with a
lot of hard work and fearlessness than directed and goal driven without any real skill or talent. So
screw having goals. My only goal is to draw thumbnails, and keep making new ones over and
over again. That works for me. Never mind finishing a comic or getting rich. I see no reason to
be concerned with those things. Im tired of being and seeming like a goal nazi. Goals.
Ambitious goals are for chumps who dont want to or dont know how to live in the current time
period, or take action this actual moment, as opposed to 10 years from now. That Labor God
Drawing only looks painful and difficult. The only reason it Looks Impossible to draw is because
you havent bothered to attempt drawing it and failing at it yet. It wont look so hard once you
make some repeated and failed attempts at it.
Tens of millions of channels have been created on and exist on YouTube. The hundreds of
millions of videosthat those tens of millions of YouTube filmmakers makeare seen 2 billion
times a day. These statistics have been checked for accuracy. YouTube is on its way to having
the bulk of its video database seen more than 1 trillion times, if this activity stays consistent.
There are few feelings as good as the one where you get to take comfort in the empire you built,
engineered, and designed yourself. Like online streaming anime video, which I pioneered. Love
it. Cant get enough of it.
Googles now allowing content owners to put ads on their Googleshare. Definitely an
improvement.
Best ways to make a living online $$$:

Twitter monetization
YouTube Video Adsense Monetization (of any kind)
Web Link Monetization
Search Engine Results Monetization
Popular Website Webpage Banner Ad Monetization

The current problems facing my life, on a personal level, really have nothing to do with business.
But they do have a lot to do with preserving my peace of mind, well being and integrity, and
protecting my health and life from the intrusions of my family.

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The truth is, I dont live in the United States, and specifically, Floridas Seminole County and
Casselberry of my own free will. I have no free will. Im forced into a life in my Florida
bedroom of servitude here, like a slave in a jail cell. Im forced to stay here. Im not in Florida of
my own free choice. My parents are forcing me to live in Florida, and refuse to move, so Im
stuck here for now I guess. There are few things worse than being forced to live in a city that
hates you and a city you hate equally as much. Not exactly the most human situation. Actually, it
is quite an evil situation, and not of my own doing. No one other than Chris has offered to allow
me to live anywhere outside of Florida. For all my adulthood, Ive been forced to live in Florida
against my own free will. What kind of idiot actually chooses to live in Florida out of his or her
own choice and free will. Smart people dont CHOOSE to live in Florida. None that I know of.
I went to the doctors office today, for a physical, and he told me I have anemia. My symptoms
for that thing means shortness of breath, fatigue, and feeling out of sorts. All of which Ive
had. That and a low white blood cell count. I was wondering why my drawing process left me
feeling so diminished. Its a physical thing I think. Anemia.
Honestly, Id rather be right and dead than alive and frustrated, punished, or humiliated.
Its kind of arrogant to want to become famous and powerful while youre still alive.
I dont give a shit about anatomy for the most part. All I care about right now is perspective and
production design, and how they apply to modern science fiction Franco-Belgian comics.
Converging Lines, Horizon Lines, Vanishing points, Architecture: Just the basics of drawing
architectural forms and designs.
Good news in J.M. World:
So Im finally starting to see a little bit of royalty $$$ trickle down my way. Im so very, very
awesome! Its not a LOT of money, but its enough to make me sit back and start to realize
maybe I AM on the right path. I get to keep people happy with my online work, and it finally
looks like Im turning an actual profit. But this is only the first day of this newfound royalty
income. If it were more official and I was an equal amount as popular, Id be earning a lot more.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Ive never really studied much of French art, literature, comics, cinema, and TV animation for
the most part until just in the last few months. I mean sure, Im familiar with the whole Franime
thing, and have seen some shows of French origin on digital cable animation channels, as well as
the Disney Afternoon back in the day, but I hadnt even considered the whole Jean-Paul Sartre,
Romanticism, Ontological Phenomenology Science, and people like Picasso, Franco-American
connection, French comics, Moebius, and Eugene Delacroix connection until just now, meaning
just recently. Everythings better in France. Well, almost everything.

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Saturday, October 15, 2011,

Ever since I realized how much the French comics, literary, and animation market already
accepts me, suddenly I dont hold American or Japanese multimedia opinion of me in any sort of
high regardPretty much at all. America is full of right wing idiots like the people living with
me, and if whats airing on TV for the most part lately is any indicator of collective intelligence,
Id say public American opinion of me is pretty much borderline psychologically retarded. I
dont need American media to praise me in anyway. My work wasnt designed for the American
market. Its a bit too ingenious to be lowered to that level. Once I get out eventually, I have my
doubts as to whether or not Ill ever come back, to Florida or even the United States. Im not
happy here. But now that I know theres a whole underground society of people who are
equally oppressed (the French and Chinese, NOT protesters), somehow that really puts me at
ease and mellows me a bit. Im suddenly not feeling as hostile towards the strangers around me
anymore. Primarily because I know there are others out there. The European market accepts me,
my presence, and what I represent on a very deep levels, on a level that far transcends my native
territory Ive grown accustomed to.
OK, tell me again. WHY am I whoring myself out on the internet still?
And seriously, do Americans who arent myself truly see how horrible and stupid and shitty as
fuck over 90% of American mainstream traditional pop culture is. Whether its movies,
animation or TV. If youre looking for ingenuity in filmmaking and broadcasting, traditional
American media is not a place to find it. Everywhere I look, Im looking at shit. For the love of
fuck! This life in this place is torture! They will pay. TV was good in the 90s for the most part in
my opinion, but then 2002-2011 happened, and suddenly regular TV looks like a parade of shit
compared to some websites. This does not make me happy. But then again what ever does.
I heard from watching the science channel that the body of a man with Aspergers ages faster than
those who dont have the condition. Your body fails on you faster. So technically, I have the
brain of a super-genius rocket scientist, but the age of a 45-50 year old man. Not EVEN joking.
When youre a supergenius like me, youre body basically fails at adjusting and cant cope,
therefore making many people with Aspergers physically disabled and weak, while the brain
functions in the 1% (genius level, the highest level possible).
I find covering my TV screen with a blanket is the best way to block the negative Feng Shui the
TV screen is trying to puke into my room.
Its always good to use a fake I.P., and a wireless computer, preferably a Macintosh laptop
running Windows (safety genius).
I submitted my sales proposal and inquiry for End Times to the French Gov-funded Film France
today, in hopes that I might be able to get funding for a French TV or film co-production. Maybe
this will turn out better than my AnimeTV fiascoHopefully.

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Friday, October 21, 2011,

Im awaiting 2 separate email responses, hopefully within the next few weeks, from France Film
and Lulu.com. One on publishing, and the other in response to a submission.
Saturday, October 22, 2011,
There are quite a few in the NON-anime community that definitely thinkat times justifiably
sothat anime is A) Racist, B) Stereotyped and Consistently Clich, and C) Commercial, and
therefore not real art. Some anime is all of the above. But not always. But yeah, commercial
anime can get pretty discriminatory and horrible. Thats kind of why I stopped supporting it as
much. It saddened me to see so many Americans on the internet not drawing like real American
artists, but instead like Japanimation-wannabes with no minds of their own. Ill take
squigglevision over Asian outsourcing any day. Hate to name names, but Bleach, to cite one
example, is a perfect example of racist, light skinned stereotypes in commercial Japanese
animation that most people in America notice instantly and automatically write off as antiAmerican in some way. If this were 1945, Bleach would be used for Nazi propaganda, most def.
Anime is fun and all, but it isnt real art. Its commercial, and therefore not entirely pure, just like
animation in every other country. There are a lot of fans that dont agree with this kind of
objective sentiment. But ultimately, like Hollywood and videogames, anime and manga arent
real art. Theyre entertaining, and they use creativity, yes, but that isnt the same thing as being
Leonardo or Picasso. Theyre Commercial art and commercial media, which means theyre not
real art.
12:51 a.m.:
In about 40 minutes from now, Ill know if Ive found a cure to my so-called sleeping
addiction. I may finally have so-called insomnia again. Thank god for that. I was or am
getting sick of only existing in the daytime. I miss being a creature of the night. Ive missed that
insomniac mindset so.

12:59 a.m.
I seem to have overcome the bull and elephant tranquilizers being fed to me on a nightly basis.
My nighttime consciousness has been restored. The rightful order is restored.
Time for planning!
While the world sleeps, I work. I draw. I write. I plan. I read. I watch late night television. No
thanks to the medical community. Secret consciousness.
1:04 a.m.

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Still not really tired. The test run of these Insomnia Power Capsules seems to be working, going
according to plan!
1:19 a.m.
No. As a matter of fact it ISNT my bedtime. How about you?
Sunday, October 23, 2011,
So, Ive been getting the newest impression from the public. Im getting the impression some are
comparing me as a writer to HP Lovecraft. Honestly, he isnt technically as strong of an
influence as, say Michael Moorcock or Yoshiyuki Tomino. But still, its actually pretty cool
getting compared to anybody great, now that you mention it.
Monday, October 24, 2011,
Film France is interested in building the French animation industry, and Im feeling like I can
help. I dont know yet if they function like an agency, financer, or producer.
But rest assured, I have just as much of a desire to participate in and fund French co-productions
as French society does. It was French comics like Moebius and franime for TV from studios like
Moonscope, Sav! The World, and Marathon Media that really sold me on the potential of this
wonderful industry. I want to see how far I can take my project with a French animation studio
and a large amount of influence from the anime and the contemporary French comics industry.
Wednesday, October 26th, 2011,
I dont know if its an ethics problem, or a racial problem, but I dont know if I could watch
anime all the time. It would be like watching Disney all the time. Not unless were talking about
the studios and shows I like.
I dont know why, but Im a French fanatic now. I think my love of Japans animation is fading
in the face of new hobbies and pursuits. I justdont like anime like I did. Its not the same
anymore unfortunately. USA! USA! I dont know what to think, especially since I thought Id be
as passionate about animes popularity now as I was in the past, years ago. Turns out passions
die out. I just feel its time I move on. I dont hate anime, but Im not fascinated by it, now that I
have more power, respect, or freedom. My old hobbies never gave me any of those things.
Dont fall for Scribd, and its alleged allure JM. They just want you to upload your writing so
they can ignore that too, instead of you getting proper credit and recognition for it through real
publishing. Scribd could just be another rip off site, a writing version of DeviantART, and
therefore very unprofitable and horrible. Dont you DARE sign up for Scribd just because some
indie comics editor online does.

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Saturday, October 29, 2011,

Steve Blum, because of computers, is my number one partial Hollywood connection. Ive met
people like Jhonen, John Lasseter, and Todd McFarlane in the past, but I get the best vibes from
Steve Blum. Hes the most open to input from me out of all the famous people I know or have
met, and I cherish that aspect of our potential friendship. One day, I hope to officially be able to
call him a friend and co-worker. Until then, Im just happy being able to email him every once
in a while.
Tuesday, November 01, 2011,
Im the typical start-off failure. I submitted some of my artwork to a Top Shelf guy and he said
Youre work is not of professional level yet. OK, I guess I can accept that. Maybe I should
submit to someone else. Nothing Ive ever sold has ever sold 1 or more of anything. And
YouTube wouldnt give me credit as the inventor of streaming anime online either. And even on
top of that, Viacom went out of their way to delete one of my videos and attempted to shut down
my first YouTube account, which they succeeded at doing (causing me to fail on purpose). Well
you know what? Forget that. Im moving on. Whether or not Im going to succeed while Im
alive is in question. I want to succeed. I want to sell a story. I want that more than anything else
in the world really. More than popularity, definitely, or friends; Ive chosen to live the life of a
loner, and in a way I pay the price for it.
One of the goals of my life, that no one knows but me, is the fact that I want Parallax or End
Times to be as thick of a book as Manifesto Volumes 1 and 2. But would it be shitty or not.
Thats tough to forecast.
If youre going to be an artist youve got to love the process more than the product. Never fall in
love with individual drawings you do. Ive done that before and it endangered my entire well
being as an artist. It first happened on DeviantART when others fell in love with drawings I did
that I would normally disregard. Dont fall in love with any particular page. Fall in love with the
stack. And honestly, I think the only reason most artists who try to draw as many pages as Dave
Sim draw that way is probably because they have a burning secret desire to be envied by other
artists (Mines longer than yours). I get it, and yet I dont. Im not drawing stacks of papers to
advance my status. Okay, maybe a little bit, but not overwhelmingly so. Im just naturally
productive. I naturally produce a lot of pages, mostly of squiggles, unfortunately. But accepting
the squiggles with the masterpieces and Monos is important too. I think the public admires and
envies my individual visions, oddly enough, not the stacks and stacks of prolificacy I spew
outward onto paper. And mindless writing looks more coherent than mindless art, primarily
because mindless art is produced by machine, meanwhile filler art is constructed from the ground
up, and therefore takes longer to master.

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Finally, my dad brought home a wireless keyboard. Now I can perform a search function on
Google, YouTube, Netflix, Wikipedia, and sites like them, as well as browse through all the
video and creative files on my hard drive without having to get out of bed. Im typing this
particular paragraph entry in bed lying down. Its relaxing once you get the hang of it. Writing in
bed on your TV screen rocks!
Anatomical foreshortening is a really great idea. Im extremely pleased with how my
foreshortened drawings and anatomical cinema-camera compositions came out in my
sketchbook.
Yeah, I admit, I kind of already am sort of famous. And Im very powerful in the media, so much
that its a bad idea to mess with me, even when a lot of people still try to. I just deny Im famous
on a public level because I dont want people to extort, blackmail, and frame me, like some of
them have already tried to do. My celebrity is a danger and hazardous to my health, so its best to
just convince people Im not famous. Fame just makes strangers suspicious. People seem to want
to view me as a worldwide celebrity in the making, and yet they also want to marginalize my
status and standing in society, all at the same time. Its hard, if not impossible to be both a
superstar celebrity and have no social standing on the social hierarchy, being unpopular in other
words.
Im beginning to suspect the reason Otomo might have been interested in my literary work in the
beginningthis is one theory anywayis perhaps because he likes my labyrinthine usage of
words and paragraphs crowded onto a page in the same way I admire his usage of architectural
and mechanical shapes and lines on a page. He tends to shy away from word heavy pages with
exceptions like his notebooks he used to write the world of AKIRA. Or I could be totally off
here. Otomo is a man of few words; a man of Japan and France and America, much like myself.
Were men of the world. I do tons of words and little art, and he does tons of art and few words.
Its almost like were Yin & Yang. Very cool we are.
Thursday, November 03, 2011,
Yes. I got my Neat Scanner in the mail today, and it worked miracles for my digital database of
artwork. I scanned over 700 pages of artwork from old folders in my room today. Im thinking
about publishing a new art book, deluxe size and fatness, for all that artwork. I want to make an
art book at least 100-200 pages long.
So yeah, organizing the majority of my artwork on the computer sounds entertaining enough.
Enough to keep me busy anyway.
I thought I was gonna be The Next Todd McFarlane? What a joke! Not even Todd McFarlane
could be the next Todd McFarlane. Those days are over. Im surprised I was ambitious for that
long. With a pigeonholed and categorized creator image or shit job like mine, Id be lucky
landing work in a 1 star movie, let alone 5 star show. Fuck my old ambitions. They were an
unfulfilled crock of shit. No offense to those Ive always admired, but theres no hope left in that

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area. Just me and a sketchbook, much like its always been. I like drawing, but I REALLY like
scanning 700 pages (of art).

Thursday, November 10th, 2011,

Its hard to concentrate. Everyone keeps trying to get my attention from all directions. Its
sickening. Andrew tries to get my attention. My cat tries to get my attention. Neighbors try to get
my attention. Parents try to get my attention. The TV and internet try to get my attention. Im
fucking sick of thisbullshit. Why is everyone so pathetically desperate to get my attention?
Knowledge Test: Time to figure out what I learned about screenwriting:

Conflict
Scenes
(Scene) Cut To:
Scene Components (Act I, Act II, Act III)
Questioning Self-Criticism
The Work You do Now is the Work you can do.
Self-Acceptance
Resistance
Faking an attempt
Setup and Payoff
Emotional Shift
Metaphors and Verbs (Action Narration)
Scene-to-Scene
Outline(s)
Fight Narration
Metaphorical Description

Friday, November 11, 2011,

Friday night. Lotta stuff is on TV tonight: Spongebob, Green Lantern, Ingenious Minds,
Thundercats, Generator Rex, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Phineas and Ferb. They really seem to
be pulling out the big gunsat least in terms of ratingsaround 10 p.m. on Friday now,
probably because its Veterans Day Evening and everyone has today off. Its like my TV is on
steroids.

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I updated my webcomic site not long ago too.

Saturday, November 12, 2011,
My art process is very, very powerful. The whole world shakes and awakens whenever I draw. I
can feel the energy in the air, shaking the foundations of society and the world, every time I
draw. I fear this power. I dont see how I could ever go broke with an artistic energy as powerful
and world-shaking as this. Its like an earthquake whenever I channel and harness my power and
energy. I dont have to worry about money. It will take care of itself eventually. Everyone wants
power like this, like the kind my art production evokes. A lot of pressure and noise goes with this
kind of power. Not all the time though.
For my inking style, Im switching to digital. Sure, its drawn by hand, in terms of the interior
contour, but its inked digitally. Digital inking is the way of the future. Its much more effective
than Black Sharpie Markets, and essentially creates the same effect, but with printer ink. Theres
also the Black Background. Im a pioneer in the field of Digital Notan-Noir-Expressionist Ink.
Digital Inking is a lot of fun. My storyboards and comic book pages are going to look awesome!
This is my own Brand of CGI! Cel-Shaded Black Compositions.
I originally started drawing and inking everything by hand, with Sharpie Markers. And I
originally started off copying from Bruce Timm, Frank Miller, Tim Burton, and Todd
McFarlane. But eventually, I grew to be more influenced by shows like Oban Star-Racers, and
Invader Zim, and artists like Min-Woo Hyung.
Starting to use my real name online more often. Part of it is my sense of responsibility has
grown, so Im less afraid to reveal my real identity. There is less fear and paranoia in me,
thankfully.
I finally have my own Netflix account now, under my own credit and my own name. Feels good.
With a visionary imagination and lots of skill, you can essentially build a movie shot by shot, on
paper from the ground up, through things like layout, storyboards, character designs, and script.
You get to design and construct the composition or mise en scene from you head and
imagination, and pretty much build it into what feels on paper and sometimes screensas an
actual movie. It takes perspective, set design, lighting costume design, character design, camera
shots, and camera angles.
When drawing framed compositions, its filmmaking first, comics second.
What I draw like now is exactly how I draw in reality. Not how I should draw, not how I want
to draw. Not how I would draw if only I could. How I draw is how I draw!

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Ive got some movie storyboards in my head. I keep asking myself aloud how I can make them
real, giving many speeches on the subject to my rather open minded mom, who is just about
always supportive of me no matter what I do, for better or worse.
I now have a full grown mustache going on, and my beard is getting thicker in certain places too.
Wednesday, November 16th, 2011,
Not getting much sleep tonight. All the good shows are on in the middle of the night, late in the
P.M. and early in the A.M.
Dont take pills from strangers, kids. That means your parents.
Seriously though. Its 4:04 a.m. and Im not even fatigued. This is amazing.
I know Im going to succeed professionally as a screenwriter. Im just going to need the patience
to let the pieces fall into place.
Staying up this late on occasion is actually quite nice. While the world sleeps, I work in secret.
I dont drive yet. Havent gotten a chance to risk my life driving yet. Thats gonna change. I
think Chris, if he ever gets back to Florida, would be happy to help me practice in that area. Ill
start off driving close by, and then gradually branch out to greater distances. Maybe even a mile
or more.
So Im acting and taking action toward deleting my account from WCN (Webcomics Nation), so
I can get some of those rights to revert back to me. Theyre technically a Limited Liability
Company. They never claimed to own my property or the publishing rights to it, so that had sure
as hell better apply to my property. My comic and WCN arent working. This relationship needs
to end. No more Webcomicsnation.com/jm. Im done. And if they dont eventually let me delete
my account or delete it on my behalf, I will sue and take legal action against Joey Manley, if
possible. I dont want to take legal action, and I wont, if they dont give me a hard time about
deleting my comics and account.
Industrial Design Training
Extrapolating Synthetic and Hypothetical Function
It wasnt sort of amateurish. People could look at these drawings, the mechanical parts, and see
a joint, see a linkage, and realize that, that would probably work.

Terms of Detail Heavy Art

Complex

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21

Detail-Dense
Layering
Kaleidoscopic
Synthetic Extrapolation
Bells-and-whistles
Crowded

Syd Mead DVD quotes:

More detail-dense. Less finagling.
Pick one thing and be good at it is a big fat evil lie. If you want to do everything, do it. Do
everything. Be a Jim Cameron. Be a Todd McFarlane or Clint Eastwood. Be a Jhonen Vasquez or
Aaron McGruder. Dont just claim you wish you could do everything. Just do it. Do everything.
Its well within the realm of possibility. Polymath status is easily attainable.
Detail in Drawing: When drawing, you essentially have to teach yourself to learn how to notice
everything, every detail, every line, every form, every texture, every pattern, every shape, every
device: Everything. All the parts, patterns, and pieces whenever youre drawing. Its a perceptual
technique, involving the highest levels of concentration.
Learn to live daily in the flow. Dont even pay attention to the end product, let alone live in
it. Thats not good for an artist.
Our natural vision of our surroundings contain all the details if you really look, with some or a
lot of movement. Its the artists job to observe those billions of details as exactly as he sees it,
the ones most people dont see, analyze, or remember. Finely rendered detail is just a faithful
copying or tracing of what we see in reality, in our natural vision that most people miss.
Production Design or Art Direction is just a fictionalized and fantasized version of landscape
painting. It has all the details of a landscape painting, but it doesnt exist in reality: Yet. And in
production design, its a landscape painting, but theres no motion unless otherwise stated. Its a
dead landscape.
Mead: People ask me, do you think youve been copied by a lot of other artists. I dont really
know much about that sort of thing. You cant really say. You cant really say that: Whether or
not you have
Consider: What Century does your creativity exist in, spiritually? What nation or continent does
it exist in spiritually. Syd Mead, for example is an 18th Century Artist existing in the Twentieth
Century, envisioning the great beyond.

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22

I got 3 main presents today. Two books and a documentary DVD about the following artists and
illustrators who are among my favorites: Enki Bilal, Frank Frazetta, and Syd Mead. I learned a
lot of things about these geniuses I didnt know before.
Excellent outlets:

Pulp Fantasy
Screenwriting
Fanfiction
Short Stories
Illustration
Photoshop
Print-on-Demand Self Publishing
Webcomics, Web manga
World Manga
Storyboards
Douga
Image Boards
Model Sheets
Mechanical Design

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Chapter 59
(Windows Vista)

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Saturday, November 19, 2011,

A scene transition is essential a cut-switch from one location-situation to another. In comics, the
cut is easier to notice than it is in animation, movies, and TV, when the cut to a new scene, or
scene-to-scene transition is established. There are more non-scene-to-scene cuts per scene in
film and television than there are in comic books, and the scene cuts in movies are more subtle
Sunday, November 20, 2011,
My scene outline writing exercise is working brilliantly. Ive written lots of scene outlines
already, and I have lots of material to develop more in depth now. Im actually really good at
writing scene outlines. I view it as a raw test of storytelling and narrative power, one test Im
passing.
As far as scene outlines and journal manifestos go, my journal is thought and theory. My scenes
are action, event, and description, both long and short, and in the best case, a mixture of both.
I also have to continue compiling my Martial Arts Glossary Document tomorrow, this Monday,
around the end of November.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011, 12: 11 a.m.,
Outlines/Thumbnails: Its very fitting that The DNA of my comics storytellingits backbone, its
master Visual Plan. Its prototype and blueprints for all future pages, The System for my Comic
Book & Manga Manufacturing, would descend from Heaven and enter my headspace on the very
numerical calendar date meaning that would match up with the number that defines who I am
and what my Destiny is on the Eve of a Tuesday (November 21st) in 2011: Black and White
Comics and the Number 22, The Number of The Master Builder. Ive been praying for this day
to happen for at least 10 years or a straight decade, but the Answer to all my troubles and the
springboard for my career Path in both Manga and Indie Comics, and Webcomics and Digital
Comics, from this point on didnt hit me until now. And I now I have it in a neat little folder, a
Comics System Manufacturing Folder. Because when I develop A) A Good System of
Production, and B) A Discipline and Will Power to Utilize that System, Im damn near
unstoppable. And I dont even need a fully written script to proceed! Just outlines.
God provided this insight to me. Its Divine Providence.
No humans may take care of me or look out for me. Then again, some may. But one way or
another, I have Faith that God will eventually Provide Peace for me at the end of my Long, Long
Journey. God gives us all everything we need to be happy and prosperous, but it is our job to
identify what that Divine Providence and Allowance is. For me, its Social Security checks and
my own hard work, and therefore genius. And through this Philosophy, no matter my conduct or

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behavior, I am at One With God, and All He Surveys. Sometimes you just have to let Gods
safety net catch you when youre in a freefall from Heaven down to Hell.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011,
You know, unless you can publish a mini-biography that says something along the lines of He
is [blank name] of [blank creative project] fame, you cant really cash in on making a book like
Manifesto a hot bestseller. So Im going to need to work on blank, which is okay, because I have
the prototype model sequential art page sheets for it
A reflective cloak that functions with the same visible reflectivity as a mirror could be used as
not only a cloaking device, but a source of invisibility. Cloaking, subterfuge, and stealth are both
related to the power of invisibility. I can be invisible on the internet. So can a lot of people. Its
an easy power to abuse, the cloaking nature of digital invisibility.
Thursday, November 24, 2011,
Finally, Im studying real fighting and martial arts. Mentally more than physically, but the two
are one and the same, are they not? Choreography is one of my favorite professional cinematic
fields nowadays. Even Donnie Yen has an official choreography site. Amazing! By studying the
choreographers, I am in turn studying choreography and choreographed fighting. It all started
with the book Im reading on fight choreography by John Kreng. I find it disturbing there isnt a
category in the Academy Awards and Oscars for martial arts choreography. Talk about getting
shafted!
If theres 2 things I like, it would be fight choreography information, and French comics with
perspective. But if you want to create fighting on page and on screen, you must go further than
merely being a connoisseur of watching fighting happen on page and on screen. You must know
how to create some of that action yourself, not just appreciate it when others manifest it.
Im considering attending the Wah Lum Tam Tui Temple, to study beginner Tai Chi and
possibly Kung-Fu, with the Temple Martial Arts Instructors.
There are some important elements of writing: Subject Matter, sentence and paragraph structure,
word arrangement. Three of the most popular writers online are Roger Ebert, Neil Gaiman, and
Scott McCloud. Theres a whole army of fans online for anything those men write. Does that
mean theyre better writers than usual, or that theyre popular? Considering that the average
American cant writewell, cant write well anywayId say its the latter, though I do think
they do have their share of insights. Many of the best writers are the least popular, like Sartre,
and Ken Wilber. Popularity obviously is not always an indicator of literacy.
I keep forgetting to put question marks at the end of my questions. And I keep mixing up
theyre and their as well as its and its, and Your and Youre. These mistakes
are purely mechanical, and relate little to the actual subject matter I write about. Criticizing my

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own writing for that reason, to me, says Im too lazy to think of any real criticism for Joseph, so
Ill tear apart his use of grammar and the English languageJust pure laziness on a critics
behalf. If thats the best criticism people have for my writing, other than long-windedness
which to me, writing long paragraphs, isnt a bad thingthen I must be in pretty good standing. I
aim to write as much and as good as the best of them.
On the subject of verbosity. I enjoy verbose writers, probably a lot more than condensed writers.
If someone writes big paragraphs that are numerous pages long, or at the very least one page
long, big deal: Who cares? Technically, theyre doing the right thing.
I wonder what the Better Business Bureau would make of my interactions with Viacom and
other conglomerates, in regards to defamation and plagiarism. Hmmm. I wonder. Ha ha!
Ive begun intensifying my studies and practices of science fiction & fantasy, and the specialized
martial arts. My goal is to become stronger and more efficient. Someone who gets things done.
Someone who finishes what he began many years ago. But right now I gotta go watch that
Generator Rex / Ben 10 crossover special. On CN.
Wednesday, November 30th, 2011,
The best way I can think to explain and sum up my lighting and shadows vision for Monos
world of New Earth is, it is one big comic book Doujin fanart of the Animated Series Version of
Spawn. Its closer in terms of contrast to that than it is to any other anime. I dont feel like
Spawn had anywhere near as many episodes and nowhere near as much preproduction materials
(storyboards, character designs, production design) as it could have.
But the cool part is, Todd McFarlane based a lot of Spawns design on Batman, and never denied
this fact, Just as I base a lot of Monos design on Spawn and Batman, and I never deny this fact
either. To me it actually kind of feels like some Unknown Tradition of Art and Design being
passed on. Something about the Spawn 90s animated series really speaks to me. If Sin City were
ever a cartoon show, it should look like that.
People judge everything I do by Adult Swim and anime/manga standards, Shonen comics or
whatever the hell other reference points theyre using to evaluate the work. Not interested.
Spawn is all I really care about. To me, overall it still feels quite American. Very Black.

Photoshop Elements 7, and the other software Im going to buyCorel Painter X and the comic
book software, Manga Studio EXare all more than suitable for Editing my background,
foreground, character, and black painted artwork. Theyre great for cutting and pasting. I
couldnt do that with Digital Image Pro. Not easily anyway.
JMs Webcomics Nation Account

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R.I.P.
2007-2011
Finally, I can move on with my life.
As my software arsenal increases, my online presence decreases.
Im through drawing webcomics. I really just plan on drawing self-published and traditionally
printed stuff.
Photoshop Elements is a Godsend. I love it. Its really amazing for background-character
combinations.
If I do succeed, good, if I dont succeed, Im not going to give the public the chance to really
know who I actually am. No one knows anything real about me, and I plan to keep it that way.
Honestly, Im beginning to change my mind about my line of work. I dont want to do that
anymore. All I want to do is a packing job. I write and whatnot. But I dont want to be a novelist,
a cartoonist, an author, a comic book artist/writer, or a TV screenwriter. Thats now officially in
the realm of hobbies. Not to be taken seriously. Im not good enough at them, I dont have the
work ethic to pull that off, and no one took me seriously to begin with. Finding a job is my job.
Not becoming something creative. Thats just a very passionate hobby. It uses the same amount
of work as a job, but work is work, and play is work. Im always working, even when Im
relaxing. Im just used to working really hard at my hobbies. The internet doesnt really help us
with things like that. And it never will either. Its unlikely to change. Ill keep rambling and the
world will keep sucking. None of that looks to change anytime soon.
Saturday, December 03, 2011,
Though artistically and currently, I am at a very powerful levelat least in terms of texture and
detailI dont feel like Ive come anywhere close to reaching or exerting my maximum strength
and power level. Im a lot more powerful when I use software to edit my art. And working at the
power level Im at currently with my copy of Photoshop, I simply look like Im working a lot
harder and exerting a lot more power-level energy than I actually am. If Im actually this
powerful and detailed because Im first trying compositing, at the age of 28, I cant help but
wonder what artistic power level Ill be at in my 30s. Creating detailed compositions is easier if
theyre created by computer. It adds to the illusion of my creative vision. Im really not drawing
anything new. Its all in the compositing and digital editing. Its actually a lot easier to do than it
looks, which is odd, because normally everything I do is a lot harder than it looks.
Comparing my style to other pre-existing styles is pretty pointless. Its useless and pointless.
Every time I upload one drawing, it gets compared to 10 or 20 different other artists characters
and styles online. Everybody wants to be all comparative about my visual style. My style has too

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much variety and diversity to be compared to just one artist or just one style of art. Its the same
thing with my writing. Im not out to imitate anyone really. Ill study certain styles and copy
from them temporarily to teach myself how to draw, but that stylistic mimicry constantly shifts. I
dont look exactly like anybody most of the time. I got the Frank Miller and HP Lovecraft
comparison a lot, but the simple fact that Im compared to both styles at once makes it a muted
comparison, because each of their styles is nothing like eachother, and therefore makes my style
different by not being exclusive to one particular pre-existing style. My work is very innovative.
I keep looking for something that already exists to compare it to, and I keep finding nothing that
exists already other than my own work.
Sunday, December 04, 2011,
Ive drawn around 100+ pgs of comic book art, all of them suck out loud. But at least I drew that
many attempts at comics pages. Because, yes, theyre attempts, but pretty much none of them
succeed at looking good. 100 bad comic book pages. Eh, its a living. At least I have 100+ pages.
Even if they are all poorly executed. After drawing 100 bad, failed pages, at least now I have
around 4 to 6 actual good ones.
Its weird drawing 100 pages. Ive drawn over 100 pages, put in a good, solid, work-filled effort,
and yet I dont feel like doing all that work has improved my skills any. My comic page
drawings are still as crappy as ever.

Commentary 1 Ive written 60 20-pg chapters on this laptop

Commentary 2 & 50 20-pg chapters on the PC room PC
Book 1: 600 pages
Book 2: 700 pages

(Commentary): Thats roughly around 2,200 pages on both computers recently.

+(Manifesto/older pages): 1,300 pages
Total pages Written:
3,500 pages written
800 Mono Artworks
300 art pages (Art Book)
+100 comics pages
1,200 pgs of Art
+ 3,500 pgs of writing =
4,700 pages of Creative Content

Monday, December 05, 2011,

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This is awesome. Im currently using this computer from my bed. Im writing, watching video,
and surfing the internet, remotely, from a wireless keyboard and mouse. Im not even sitting at
my desk in front of my laptop as I do this. Its awesome. Anything digital, I am and can do from
bed, aside from loading the DVD into the ROM-Drive, but thats not a problem. I can watch and
listen to Windows Media Player, type in Microsoft Word, use Photoshop Elements, watch
Netflix and internet video, watch DVDs, watch DVR shows, and watch Roku (Netflix, Hulu, and
Amazon on Demand, etc.) all in bed, without even having to leave bed or get up and do stuff. I
have reached the next level of Zen in laziness, and Im never going back. Sitting upright to watch
everything on a little monitor, and not a flatscreen big screen TV suddenly feels like too much
work. Finding a date and a wife suddenly feels like too much work too. Im going to marry my
TV and HDMI cable!
Friday, December 09, 2011
Going to All That Trouble
I predict most competitors will give up with whatever false face and act theyre displaying now,
in the long run. It wont last. THEY wont last. The Competition wont last. MY Competition
wont last. If youre out to give someone else grief and trouble and drama, with no better reason
than that for existing, with all your lack of profundity, talent, or skill, youll eventually tire out
and throw in the towel. Ill have nothing to do with how or when it happens. Nor do I actually
care what happens to such people or when it happens, or anything they have to say ever. But I
know one thing about them. Theyll fail and land in the dust. Every last one of them.
Im also at a distinct advantage in terms of formatting and providing work and output in the
proper format. Its not that hard to format your projects properly to industry standards, is it?
Actually, I guess it is that hard for some people.
I finished a brief short story, based on one of the outlines I wrote, and put it on my online
journal. Turned out pretty good, for something I just sort of wrote by hand, then rewrote in type
format and finished earlier today. Its title: The Joy Ride. The moral of the story? Probably that
you shouldnt do cocaine and drive. Perhaps I should write all my upcoming fiction by hand. Ive
got a whole stack of fiction outlines. I think Im going to turn them all into short fiction, to begin
with, if not also to develop into scripts as well. The Joy Ride actually doesnt have much
dialogue. It is one mans destructive descent from this mortal realm of existing, deteriorating into
a supernatural descent into limbo, leave a long path of self destruction all the way down into Hell
itself, dragged there by God Himself. Its pretty decent for short fiction, which is a genre I dont
normally read that often. I picture that story as one long scene, but in reality it ended up being at
least 3 to 5 scenes long. It started as an outline less than half a page long, and ended up being 2
dense pages of fictional narration. I put many of the things I hate with a passion into that story.
---

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Yes, it is a known fact that Im an ingenious mystic in the flesh. But despite the fact that Im a
supernatural visionary of sorts, I can still be envious of the accomplishments of others, and I can
become deeply resentful when no one gives me any real recognition or appreciation for my hard
work, victories, accomplishments, success, or intentions. Thats how many mystics and geniuses
are.
There are no such things as overnight success or get rich quick schemes if youre a 22/4.
Theres NOTHING materialistic about being a real life 22/4. It doesnt just benefit to have
patience. Life as a 22/4 REQUIRES patience. It takes years, even decades of building individual
projects. There is no yielding to the consumer market when youre functioning at this high of a
level. Some 22s, such as Dave Sim and Quentin Tarantino, are deeply resented and envied by
some, perhaps many of their peers. And the 22 is famous for being mislabeled by the media for
being evil. You know, the so-called bad guys of the industry, whether its new or old media.
Might as well be both. People that powerful always spawn jealousy, pronounced by people who
never in a million years could ever comprehend what kind of power people like Sim, Tarantino,
and me yield. Tarantino and Sim are 22s also. Not just me. That happened when they were in
their prime. Eventually the controversy and slander died off, as it always will and does, paving
the way forget thisactual respect! I know Ive got my own detractors to deal with in my
career, just as Tarantino, Bill Gates, Todd McFarlane, and Dave Sim (all 22s) did during the
beginning of their careers.
On Power: In terms of television, movies, comics, and animation, attention to detail and
complexity/depth, or to simplify it, the screen or pages composition density pretty much always
is equated with power. Its surface power. Anime is surface or density power. So is Blade
Runner, Spawn, Moebius and Akira. Whereas movers and shakers like Bill Gates and HH The
Dalai Lama are internally powerful. Their power is Economical (Gates) and SociologicalSpiritual (HH The Dalai Lama). Their power, while always at least somewhat tangible, is not to
always detectable on the surface.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011,

Trending topics:
Hang Gliding
Start Signal
Celtic Music
Ireland
Scotland
Gun jargon
Klout
Pandora
Science-Fiction and Fantasy Anime

P a g e | 184

Irish Beauty

6-Figure Audience Level Success does have its share of advantages. Its a great way to get
noticed by just about anybody. But it can attract its share of critics. And I know some people in
the media when to great lengths, lobbying to wait to see him fail. But Ive taken chances with
things like freedom of speech on the internet, and for the most part, it paid off. Not so much in
money, but in status. How did I get to this point of 6-figure success? Where a small group of
people hang off of your every word, freely, of their own volition, while knock offs of the thing
youre actually trying to sell dominate the market in the same way I do.
Follow your heart. Your intuition. It will lead you in the right direction
Jewel
Intuition
Im the most successful person I know, but the media and internet, for the most part, has chosen
not to reward that. Their actions speak for and reflect on themselves: Poorly, in most regards. I
dont even have to say anything to them anymore. Ive earned this status and brand recognition.
Piracy, obesity, health, and addiction seem to come up a lot, in terms of genuine criticism from
haters. And yet such criticism never comes locally if you dont count non-human things like
media. By now Im used to that. Doesnt scare me at all. I am strapped after all. Well, my brother
is, not me, and he really hates people that fuck with me in general.
Saturday, December 17, 2011,
In the Realm of the Heavens: Science Fiction Technology Inventions
Neuromechanical-Neuroelectrical Aviation: Skyships for are powered by Neuromechanical
Aviation Power. Air ships and airplanes that are powered by neurological signals.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011,
Been kind of busy lately. Been doing color collabs with Danielle Johnson, or as shes known
online, stonergoth187. Shes very pretty and very cool. Good with Photoshop and with internet
casual internet conversation.
Also, Im pigging out during the holidays. One good thing about Christmas is theres always
something to eat.
And Im getting considerably better at speaking Japanese.
I know the Japanese word pronunciations for:

You

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I
Yes
No
English
Excuse me
My

Hmmm. I know no one probably wants to actually pay for a copy of Manifesto, my journal book,
which predates my blog and twitter account, and the entire pop culture internet. So Im going to
have to find ways other than a pay system to get Manifesto to the public, so they can still read it
without having to pay money for it. No one wants to pay to read my journal. I know that much.
But that doesnt mean its not worth reading. Its very worth reading. I cherish almost every page
of it. Im a better, more powerful writer and person because of Manifesto. I cant help but feel
my series may help others somehow.
Friday, December 23, 2011,
I launched the official e-book site for the Manifesto Series this morning. Ive been updating it
day and night since its invention on December 23rd 2011.
Im on my way to being a great writer and artist some day. One of these day, I suspect Ill be
very successful. Even more so than I am already. Just as soon as I get around to finishing
something.
My author pseudonym is JM, or JM Matthews, inspired by my middle name.
If I ever do make it to Asia and Europe, Im sure Ill write about that phase of my life too.
Perhaps Ill even do some writing while Im there, in the international hemisphere.
I have yet to master an efficient storytelling strategy, system, and technique yet, but I have a lot
of writing in general.
I kind of ended up writing an e-book in the same fashion I same way I ended up going from
drawing regular comics to drawing webcomics temporarily. No forthcoming webcomics for
2012, but lots of private ones.

Sunday, December 25, 2011,

Christmas hasnt been too bad for me so far. Got books, DVDs, and new wireless headphones
that work on both my TV and computer.

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I prefer the stylized method of holding a glock. Sideways. Like a gangster. Holding a gun in this
fashion. Its impractical but it looks neat.
I got Reservoir Dogs and Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 3 for Christmas from my parents.
Pretty great. I love Star Wars and Tarantino.
Good academic book publishers:

Creative Writing: Writers Digest

Animation: Focal Press

Ive been trying a little too hard to be naturally epic with my art and design. Its not as easy to
do as I probably think it is. Its real back breaking, arthritis and hemorrhoid causing labor! Ive
been trying too hard to make my art and design epic like my writing, like what I see in
anonymously produced anime. Its too perfect of a vision to ever manifest on traditional paper,
unless its aided by a computer. My writing is systematized through a computer matrix grid, or
word processor, which is naturally build to format pages. With writing the formatting work is
done. The format is already laid out. I dont have that luxury with art. In art, Im doing
everything by hand, including formatting, with the exception of Photoshop Elements and Manga
Studio EX. But even then I have to do hand drawn images of art Im going to scan before I can
integrate them on my computer. In the future, all my detailed art might be digital.
Putting white ribbon patterns on black cloth. I CREATED that anime technique. Tons of
Japanese and Eastern designers started using it right around 04 and later, which is the same time
my Mono costume designs hit the internet. The Japanese so stole that design theory from me.
Not that I mind all that much. It looks cool. D Gray Man, Priest, and Trinity Blood. Their
uniform designs in particular paid a really big homage to my style, my own American costume
design. Im the first known American cartoonist to use what I like to refer to as the ribboning
technique. I was looking at certain aspects of the costume design in Evangelion and Trigun
Maximum when I came up with the idea. I didnt steal it. I made it up. I dont know where the
ribboning technique came from. Traffic centerlines (maybe). My imagination interpreting traffic
centerlines.
Coming in 2012: More Notan. More character design. More ribboning. And more pattern and
production design practice.

Monday, December 26, 2011,

I must have stumbled across something good. Dad tried to underhandedly ban me from his
computer the minute I got up to get a drink.

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Maybe thats the problem. America wants me to be a 1-hit wonder. YouTube but no Mono or
Parallax? Is that the thing. Critics keep condemning my piracy, but everytime I pitch a legit idea,
its also pirated and stolen, by Deviants. Its a no win situation. I lose if I play fair and by the
rules, and I lose if I take the quicker route (hosting random material online). Viacom and Time
Warner keep attempting to discredit every legitimate thing I do, regardless of whether its legal
or not.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011,
Subject matter I know and have mastered so well I could teach it or write the book on it:

Storyboarding
Character Design
Costume Design
Fabric and Clothing Wrinkle Design
Inking
Acrylics
Charcoal
Noir Lighting and Shade
Production Design

Subjects that.not so much:

Choreography
Composition
Fighting
Sequential Art
Panel and Page Composition and Arrangement

Things that ended in 2011

WCN account
Twitter account
Creator-Driven animation
Manifesto Website

Onward to 2012
Saturday, December 31st, 2011,
Who give a crap about L.A.? Let it burn in Hell for all I care.

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My Twitter account go infested with parasitic hangers on, so I deleted it. If they hadnt infested
that Twitter account, I might have kept it. Nah. Let em burn.
Man! I hate atheists! So arrogant and full of themselves. Thinking theyre bigger and better than
God Himself. Atheists make me puke. I may believe in myself, but I dont put myself before
God. Takes an awfully big pair of entitled balls to do that. I hate people who try to kill God. God
gave me all my talent and genius. I draw comics and art to serve God. I believe in a God, but its
an enormous sin to be arrogant and conceited enough to put yourself above God in anyway.
Especially if youre rich or famous or powerful. God gave you ALL those things, and yet youre
still going to spit in his face? (Seth MacFarlane?) Obviously god never blessed Seth MacFarlane
or any of those other heathens with brains to go with their fame, otherwise theyd see that God
matters too, just as much as any material object or person. Those who turn away from God to sin
are the worst kind of people. Borderline criminal. Corrupting our society with a Godless overscientific ideology. I could care less if people convert atheists. Theyre a bunch of secular idiots
regardless. God gave me my genius too. They call it gifted class for a reason. Because
intelligence is a gift from God, and so is creativity. If there wasnt a God there wouldnt be any
intelligence or creativity and imagination either. God gives us all things good. The media has
become so annoyingly godless. No wonder no one likes those people anymore. Its such a
shortcut in life to be an atheist. Worshipping yourself. Other bullshit like that. Atheists are
arrogant enough to think that just because they dont think God exists, that a God doesnt exist. I
can say my house doesnt exist too, and I can say the planet earth is an illusion of my
imagination, but that really doesnt do anything to take away from evidence to the contrary.
Gods already given me the form. Hes given me the power to build, manifest, create, and
construct a contentless book and comic book with no real discernable content in it yet.
But God has yet to bless me with Content, to fill the form with, the form God helped manifest
and create through me
But I need to Seek Gods Content & Gods Form. Not just Gods Form. If it was just about the
Form and not the Content, my Mission to create great art by Form alone would have ended years
ago! But Form without Content has no meaning. And Content without Form has no structure.
Ive created content and form separately. But I havent integrated and synthesized them in any of
my actual projects yet, like a book or a novel or script. If its screenwriting, I only have form,
and no real content. If its comics, I have form, but not content. If its a book, I have form but no
content. And if its fiction, I have content, but no form. My New Years Resolution is to
integrate content and form into the same project, by slow and short lived, but steady efforts. Ill
start off slow, as I always do, and get faster and work harder over time. Ive got enough free time
that nothings really distracting me.
2011 is ending. 2012 is less than an hour away. Looks like someones expecting me.

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Ive been looking forward to 2012, for quite a while now. Dont know if anyone else has though.
Tuesday, January 03, 2012,
There will be no sleeping as of this night. Nighttime is for writing and drawing. Not sleeping!
Question sleep!
I like having Barack Obama as a president, and on a personal level, I want him to stay president,
as do many others, no doubt. We should form a club. Well, I am on the official
Barackobama.com newsletter mailing list. Id donate to help keep the balance of good and evil
so to speak, but I never have much, if any money. Lets just say Im not a Republican. Bush
helped me realize that, ever since 2002. Well, him and Bryan. I dont want to sit back and watch
that happen again. If that means I should vote, I just might. That would be incredibly messed up
if Bush ended up serving 2 terms getting to screw up this country and world, but Obama, his
polar opposite only served one. How messed up would this world be if that happened? Pretty
messed up if that did happen. Why take power away from someone whos running the country
well and well liked and replace him with some Republican nobody who doesnt even matter
and isnt famous like Obama? And the fact that Andrew hates Obama is sending off red lights of
Mass Destruction for the world in my mind. If Andrew endorses it, with his criminal record, and
his partial prison time, Im definitely a little worried. People like Andrew screw up this world a
LOT more than we do. Andrew is evil. At least in terms of politics. He wants power and nothing
else, no matter how much he screws it up politically. His kind had their chance, and they fucked
it up royally. Im on the Left. Andrew is Republican, and Im pretty sure he hates me just as
much. But its not like he has the power. Andrew also thinks the French are a bunch of faggots
that make films about giving blowjobs to each other. Michael Moores a joke! Well, he is a
criminal. And he does talk like one.
I do like to shoot the breeze about Hollywood, anime, world culture, and Hollywood.
Comics are in a health state right now, worldwide. Theres a revolution going on in comics
publishing lately, according to Animation Magazine. A comic book review of a popular comic
series went so far as to talk about the current renaissance going on in comics now. Im so
happy they said that. Parallax apparently is a big part of that. Woo-hoo! Im fueling a
renaissance. Im honored to be leading this thing. I guess the comic book pages I have drawn in
the last 10 years arent as bad as I thought they were. Theyre genius! Thanks media. I knew my
work was good, but revolutionary? Even I didnt compliment myself that much, and I
compliment myself a lot
New Millennium Renaissances and Revolutions:

Anime
Animation

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Comics
Manga
Franime
French Comics
Books
TV
Webcomics
Streaming Video
Hollywood
Online Broadcasting

Its the New Millennium Renaissance!

Comic Books had a golden era between the years 1990 & 2010
About comics.
Im not part of the Comics Renaissance of the New Millennium!
I am the Comics Renaissance of the New Millennium!
Webcomics Nation (WCN) is pretty influential.
Eventually, Ill put a new comics website up. Not for a while though.
The industry hinges on whether I can complete a sufficient amount of pages or not.
When youre an industry Power Player like I am, a lot of things hinge on your decisions.
Yes, its true. Though I know I had a lot of followers, I deleted my Twitter account. No need to
panic. I just wanted to devote my efforts and energies to drawing comics.
Thursday, January 05, 2012,
I dont believe in copyright-based piracy. I think its a bullshit pro-sellout stance. It also
promotes corporate censorship and stifles freedom of speech and new employment opportunities
online. Its going to take more than the backing of Viacom, a handful of anime studios and/or
artists, and anti-internet people for me to think otherwise. True, the internet is different and not
the same as TV or DVDs, but anime started in piracy. Asking anime to change now is asking it
to go against its roots. Copyright is popular in Japan, but theyve embraced selling out to
animation conglomerates from day one (see Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh!). Therefore the Japanese
opinion on copyright should simply be tossed in the garbage, like the bullshit it is. Dont
criminalize those who oppose censorship and endorse freedom of speech (i.e. YouTube anime).

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How to write animation, with Brian the Dog of Family Guy:

When I watch the world go by, I think of it kind of like a huge camera, with this screen (points
to brain). Yknow, every little interaction, every moment is another scene captured by this
camera (points to eyes).
Brian the Dog
Family Guy
If I dont watch myself, I might start using that technique. Actually, Im kidding, I think I will.
Its actually a very insightful observation about screenwriting, as written by Seth MacFarlane.
My family is a good work of inspiration. One day Im going to look back at the time I was living
with them, but not anymore, and Ill think to myself, they gave me a lot of inspiration for my
creative narration and storytelling, even if they were really annoying and loud half the time.
Saturday, January 6th, 2012
Gothic Influences on my artwork:

Jhonen Vasquez
HR Giger
Edward Lear
Edward Gorey
Tim Burton
HP Lovecraft
Todd McFarlane
Frank Miller
Bruce Timm

Things Andrew might do if left unchecked:

Kill his family with a gun.

Kill me with a gun
Kill his wife with a gun
Kill his parents with a gun
Kill himself with a gun. Death seems to follow Andrew quite a bit. Hes a bitderanged.

He makes so many threats and says so many nasty things. Quite the local moronic, evil spectacle.
How do you survive a brother like that?

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You know what? Telekinesis is really just another way of defining the science and mysticism of
tai chi. Tai Chi is linked to telekinesis.
I think my telekinesis reverberates through Andrews noise-hole (mouth) and makes him
uncompassionate, nasty, and angry. Everytime I succeed, he gets angry, violent, aggressive,
sociopathic, threatening, and loud. And every accomplishment (even celebrity contact,
ESPECIALLY celebrity contacts) that I mention around him he wants to disqualify and start
arguments about. Hes a narcissist, and wont get out of the way. He treats my gain like it has to
be his loss. Hes definitely competing against me. Though he does live in the same house, hes
not on my team. He doesnt support me at all really. Hell sometimes give me free food and
automatically expect me to do everything he says just because he spends a tiny bit of his actual
money on snack food when I dont expect it. He only gives when he wants to take in some
fashion though.
Im going to start practicing Chi manipulation and reiki
Finally, I have a strategy for dealing with haters in my neighborhood. I record their voices from
through my window on tape if they keep making a lot of noise, then take the tape into my
therapist Jo Ann, she hears the voices of neighbors yelling through windows on tape, suddenly
the medical community realize Im not so schizophrenic after all, and never did hear voices, just
sounds asswipes make. And maybe win a $100 million lawsuit against Viacom. Perhaps some
day. If I really lobby for it, which quite frankly wouldnt be all that difficult to do, considering
Viacoms PowerPoint 5.7 Presentation for the justification of Killing and Murdering and
generally censoring and silencing me through TV and internet and the YouTube lawsuit. In
general. Just one possible outcome. Thanks for making me rich, Viacom! Couldnt have done it
without you! Viacom trafficks in lawsuits. Maybe I should start following THEIR example. My
damages, pain, trauma, suffering, and defamation of character First Class Lawsuit V. Viacom is
worthat the very leastAT LEAST 10% of what theyre main lawsuit against YouTube is
worth, which according to them is $1 billion which is total unjustifiable horseshit, obviously.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012,
Im sensing a lot of raw energy in these writings. A lot of power. But no focus or direction. I
dont even remember what Ive been writing, unfortunately.
Man. Description in classic fiction literature kinda sucks. Its all dialogue. Dialogue, dialogue,
dialogue. I had no idea. If I wanted to read dialogue, Id go to the Internet Movie Script
Database.
Ill make due though.
Parallax: The Novel.

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How to Write a Chapter for Parallax

Character Sketches / Development

Plot
Scenes
Outlines
Action

Parallax:
1.
2.
3.
4.

A Novel
A Script
A Comic Book Series
A Graphic Novel

Read Star Wars Novel for reference.

The very future of creator-driven animation on TV could lie in the hands of projects like
Monsuno and my show idea, Parallax. I represent the hopes and dreams of most aspiring and
struggling animation creator-writer-producers of the auteur anime variety.
Black Cape Spawn (My Spawn) is awesome! I got to thinking, what if I drew Spawns cape like
I drew Monos trenchcoat, in comics sequence or sequential art? Thatd be awesome! Im
starting to take a liking to Black and White Spawn. Noir Spawn. Indie Graphic Novel Spawn.
Manga Spawn.
Even if I DID design my own Japanese anime show, or animated series like I suspect I did, this
secret goes to my grave with me. Im a good designer, but the world is not ready to know what a
world class Asian-Style Character, Costume, Mecha, and Production Designer I am. While, yes,
in one sense I do design Japanese anime for a living, I do it for free. To charge money for my
services would make my underpaid Asian counterparts feel violated. I cant just email or go to
Japan and ask for a royalty off of my work. Doesnt work that way. Its more like being an intern
working as a conceptual artist than it is being a producer or boss or something.
Dont really get any fiction writing or drawing done at nighttime. Kind of hard to do. But alls
fair in love and war in the daytime.
Andrew (wk) is partying hard. In the living room. LOUD.

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The world never really sleeps. America sleeps. And people like my parents and brother
sleep...like corpses in the middle of the night. But if the world followed their philosophy, half the
world would be dead, in spirit, if not also in body, like my parents and brother already are. If the
entire world went to sleep all at once, half the world would be DEAD! Its always daytime
somewhere, and if entire continents slept during the day, chaos and death would consume the
world. It would be like M. Night Shyamalans The Happening, where everyone falls down. And
dies. Thats just not right. Japan. Not a big fan of my Dad. Or brother. Florida reminds me of that
movie The Crazies, where everyones a murdering redneck bent on killing everything in his path.
Glad I dont go out anymore. Not much to see. Just homicidal maniacs and sociopathic rednecks
with no souls, who drive like narcissistic sociopaths. Im so done with this. I dont know if FLA
will ever be redeemed. I like Real Radio, but thats it. Everything else is creepy; the TV,
outdoors, where I live, the daytime. I wish there was something I could do about it.
Yknow, sometimes the Chinese DNA part of me says some very harsh things about the
Japanese. And yet the French part of my DNA reminds me of how much the open minded part of
me loves Japan unconditionally. Its like my conscience. I get these feelings I cant control, like
how I feel about Japan. Because my heritage is part French and part Chinese, its love-hate with
Japan in my mind sometimes. Chinese and Japanese do not always get along. I dont want to
give into that culturally inherited nastiness.
From now on, No ranting about Japan on a computer. Im not really that angry with anything
Japan or Japanese, and I have Asian colleagues to consider and honor such as Osamu Tezuka and
Katsuhiro Otomo. Sometimes your heads not into it, and sometimes you lose your cool. That is
what happened to me. But is it really disrespectful to Japan just to talk about Japan? In Central
Florida? Ive been to Little Asia in Orlando, just like any other Floridian J-Fan. Will people
respect each other? Will people ever be that cool? Who knows? No one ever wrote the rules on
this book. IM writing them. Not trying to put anyone in the hot seat, butwhen youre in the
hot seat for so long, its tough to tell who around you can handle it, and who cant.
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012,
Well, I made the switch. From now on, for the moment, Im a professional author. I write and
draw books for a living. Im a pro now. I dont make much money currently, but at least I have a
job title to put down on forms at doctors offices. I dont plan on keeping my author status a
secret really. Not now that Im listed in certain retailers.

Name: Joseph Alberts

Job Title: Author

Now that Im published, my job isnt a secret anymore.

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I think Im going to take a short break from drawing. Maybe for a day, maybe for a few days as a
form of celebration for how far Ive come. Im very happy with my progress. I made a lot of
breakthroughs in January 2012 and December 2011. After I get accustomed to being a pro
author, Im going to hit up the sketchbook with some more notes and sketches. No sleep for the
wicked after all.
Thursday, January 26, 2012,
I will make a salary and receive royalties for my efforts...someday. I just know it. And if Im
wrong in the end, if that day comes when I fail, Ill apologize. But until the day when I earn a
salary, gets here, the meantime wait and all the idleness it involves will feel like slow torture and
may drive me insane, due to overwhelming impatience to wait until I reach my destiny. My
financial destiny will be like a tidal wave one day, but in the meantime, until it happens and old
age arrives, Ive just got to make sure I dont go psychotic from all the waiting I have to do just
to get there. Financial Destiny panders to no man. All my hard work will probably pay off at
some point. But until that happens, Im the most financially bankrupt guy in America. And Im
sure other less patient people like Andrew will feel the need to remind me of that misfortune and
bad luck, too. Most artists and online fans dont care about money. Yeah? Well I do. They can
keep being broke or trust fund pirates their entire lives. Me? I wanna get paid. And I will get
paid one day too. I just need to give it some time. My Google Creds are clearly worth nothing in
the big scheme of things. Apples doing pretty well though, financially speaking.
Hey, there I am on TV again. Yup, my face on someone elses body, like a Halloween mask or
something. By now this clone phenomena is actually rather unremarkable. It actually feels
pretty dull and forgettable to me every time I see it. Its not even noteworthy anymore. More like
something forgettable. Why bother to complain. Itll just continue happening as long as
someones making money off of it and not paying me that money for my likeness. That too
doesnt bother me either. I look really, really dull on TV. So I look like Harry Potter. Big deal.
Why should the Harry Potter-likeness disrupt my career? Doesnt really bother me. If people
want to lie and be frauds about who they really are, I guess thats their choice. But theyre
mistaken if they think they can ambush me and force me to care. I do not. Not really. Seen it 1.2
million times before.
Most writers and authors dont publish well known books until they 40, 50, or a lot older. With a
little luck and tenacity, Ill have achieved something at this age very few people who are writers
or artiststhat arent actors or musiciansdo at this young of an age, businesswise.
Probably a bad, misguided idea to play the Me against the world card.
Book publishing is such a wonderful industry, the depths of which Im only beginning to
discover. With a little positive marketing on your side, you can do some truly amazing things,

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and get not only rich that way, but famous too. That is essentially how it works. The media feels
it needs to promote someone. May as well be you or me.

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Friday, January 27, 2012,

Jhonen wrote in his blog today that hes had trouble mastering the art of drawing the female
form, in his blog. I emailed him, hoping to encourage his pursuit of continual drawing. Im
hoping Jhonen will fire back at the world with new comics one day, or animation. Hes one of
the greatest auteurs, writers, designers, and producers to ever work in the field of comics &
animation, or manga & anime. He shouldnt sit back and not do anything. He should keep
working on getting better, in his sketchbooks and on his computer, because I have a sixth sense
about him. Like the harder he works, the more refined his art will get, even to this day and
beyond. I Feel Sick. I just hope he does more comics like that. Thats my favorite one that isnt
Nny. The girl in the black jacket-coat he drew was really good. The color area had a very nice
style to it. As did the head. I really hope he does more sci-fi stuff like that. Jhonens a sci-fi
master, and he might not even be aware of it. So its my job to make him aware of it. Well, that
and promote my own book to the world.
Most if not all good drawings are based on reference material of some kind. Hands down. Very
few great artwork is entirely made up. No reference material / intangible reference = poop-shit.
From now on, Im only drawing something if its in front of a mirror. I dont care which room of
the house Im in, as long as Im using a large mirror and its big. Most of my worst art is made
up, not based on anything. Makes enough sense.
In The End
Have I really not reached my goal yet? Nearly every goal I set up for myself has or will be
reached in the next few years, pretty much. So therefore, is where Im at now really where I want
to be in disguise? Maybe Im exactly where I wanted to be and I just didnt know it. I just didnt
realize it. Im happy with my portfolio. Its complete. Im happy with my book(s). Its/theyre
complete. I am what I am and thats all that I am. Maybe it wont get any better or worse than
this. Maybe this is just where I was meant to be, where God assigned me to. Wherever Im
headed, Im sure nowadays its in the right direction, wherever that may be. I need to stop
thinking in terms of where am I head, and start thinking in terms of what am I doing now. Now is
where it is. The Place is Here. The Time is Now. The Present is Now, and the Future is Now.
Before I became an animation screenwriter professionally, I used to be very afraid of writing for
animation. I dont understand the logic. How do I structure someone elses world in a medium
constructed of artwork? I would askuntil I wrote the most complex series and animation
script in the history of the medium, based on my own idea. After a while it was Hey! This isnt
so hard! I dont know why I never tried this before! Im great at this! As an animation writer, Im
amazing! And now Im a screenwriter, when Im not a novelist or a cartoonist. Its always
harder, or looks harder until you try it yourself. Then its quite literally the easiest thing in the
world.

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Im a writer who just happens to write for animation too. I write the ideal brand of animation for
adults and mature audience. Something not so childlike, infantile, simple, humorous, or
traditional. I write about all sorts of topics that would be taboo in a childrens program, which is
why I dont write those. I write about religion, ballistics, war, honor, weapons, the end of the
world, culture, history, exploration, heroics, male chivalry, and humanity. Ive always felt the
best mature animation is about more than just the alleged fanboy fundamentals: Curse words,
sexual content, drugs, blatant sadistic violence, and a snarky attitude. In other words, 80-90% of
what we see nightly on Adult Swim, sans the former anime lineup they did some years back.
Adult animation was originally just intended to be vulgar and offensive. I strive for something
that is at least a little complex and deep in content, story, and form.
But the irony of animation is that for most kids, its something a lot of kids aspire to do
professionally when they grow up. And yet when those same kids grow up they quit on
animation, after realizing how hard it is to actually get work in the industry. That or not
understanding the politics of the industry, and screwing up somehow without ever really
intending to.
I had all the ambition in the world as a kid. I had maturity and a vision and desire and ambition
to succeed. But once I achieved a certain level of status, I realize, I can afford to be complacent,
and not be the center of attention all the time.
Themes of Parallax:
What does it mean to be a heroic figure in an alternate universe earth, far, far away?
How much does destiny factor into a heros fate?
Whos the better hero? A Human, or a human that becomes a God?
Where is God in the Apocalypse?
Is society truly able to rebuild itself if so much of it is destroyed?
How should the military government of an alternate reality be governed and run?
Is a Paramilitary Task Force ever above the law, even in an alternate reality?

Kenjutsu & Tai Chi Chuan Japanese and Chinese Swordsmanship

Back in the 70s and 60s or earlier, initially, teaching the secrets of martial arts to American was a
huge taboo in Eastern Culture. There was a lot of resistance against it. Bruce Lee was one of the
first major seekers and teachers of martial arts in the Western World. If I did an art book or
illustration book about kenjutsu and sword-slinging, in terms of American artists, Id be the first,

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unless someone beats me to it. Actually, because Art Manifested has art like that in it, I already
am one of the first, partially. Hiroaki Samura, Min-Woo Hyung, Frank Frazetta, and George
Lucas have all done sword related art books. Swordsmanship is one of my favorite artistic
subject matter, this side of architecture, acrylics, and costume design.
You know, I cant help but wonder how much money Id make from hits to my banner ads if I
put up a site specifically for the sole purpose of displaying a JPEG image of my real life or
reality-based portrait prominently displayed on my website with banner ads above, the same way
people in TV and on the internet try to cash in on my likeness with sponsorship. Im well aware
every time I show my real presence it gets instant views, and lots of them, almost like Im a
celebrity. Why not cash in on that fad myself? That would be awesome. It would be the ultimate
form of self-promotion, except my brand of self-promotion doesnt use teenage-level insults and
cheap shots. I could easily play fair and still make a nice profit from whatever it is I do. All I
have to do is show my face and I could even make money off of nothing more than showing my
actual likeness. How awesome is that, that I have it so easy? Ive run away from the likeness of
my portrait (Evil-Eye Bad Luck Evil JOE) in the media enough to make the display of it
profitable pretty much every time and it makes the ladies swoon like groupies. I can totally cash
in on that! I OWN that content thats being used for profit (MyFace).
Apparently, Google would rather shut down the internet altogetheras opposed to admitting
theyre wrong and made a mistake. Smart.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Publishing books is really a very cost effective way of making money. I dont even have to sell
that many books to retain a profit. I certainly dont have to pen a bestseller. Even just a few
copies sold would be very amazing.
I dont really draw manga. I draw comics. Some people classify it as manga though. If the
Japanese were to officially dub my work as manga in some way, then I might consider a genre
name change.
Energy level is correlated with focus level and the ability to focus. So according to science,
energy drinks will increase your ability to focus on your goals and tasks in art, writing, reading,
studies, and video viewing.
Favorite digital shows: Blood Plus, D Gray Man, Kiba.
Andrew doesnt like me and Barack Obama, because hes intensely and violently envious and
jealously hostile toward both of us.
My newest Numeroscope from a psychic who can see the future said the following about
Andrew:

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A person who is envious of you (Andrew envious of you, Joseph) may try to direct Harmful and
Hostile Unlucky Vibrations of His Own Making at you in the form of tantrums, screams of
hostility, curse words, threats, arguments, and hostile internet and phone campaigning (this could
happen sooner than you think) in an attempted plot to prevent you from getting a large amount of
money
Andrew will be at his most intrusive and sociopathic encroachment in February and March.
Beware.
Good thing I wrote it down, so I can prepare.
2012 is my lucky year. I can kind of sense it. And the first half of 2012 is probably the luckiest
part of 2012 for me. My luck could very well change very soon.
Im not sure how the whole Amazon and Barnes and Noble squabble will turn out, and so far I
dont know if thats really my problem, and not just Amazons. Amazons doing well, and
because of that, apparently Barnes and Noble seems some kind of problem with this.
It definitely took courage to publish my book. And my entire family tried to thwart and
undermine my attempts to promote it to the world, every step of the way. It has been a chaotic
journey, but Im well on my way. Just got a call from Amazon today, with publication
information about the team thats working with me. But Im pretty much in safe harbor now,
even if I cant really talk to my parents on good terms anymore for the rest of the year. If thats
the price I have to pay for publication, to be punished by my family for succeedingironically
enoughI can live with that. My family essentially disowned me and called me all sorts of
labels for wanting to succeed and making assertive decisions, but I can live with that. Im
starting to see where Eminem is coming from, with his mom suing him. Thats like me and my
Mom. Not a healthy relationship. But today is the milestone. Im not sure if anyone can stop me
from win.
My Sacrifice
In the last few days I made a life altering and risk-filled business decision. I bet my whole life on
my career. I knew this day would come. The day I had to choose between my family, or my
career. All my hard work has led up to this moment in my life. I chose my career. And my family
might never forgive me for it, or at least not until a few years from now. But obviously, its
impossible to turn back now. Theres really just the future left. Im taking a risk, just like Jhonen
did. I risked everything. It was both an edifying, thrilling, and painful experience, all at the same
time. My parents might never trust me again. But Ive got just as much of a shot as anyone. So I
made a decision.
If I post ANYwhere on the internet OTHER THAN YouTube (the voice of the people), my
views generally fall on def ears. Nearly every time. Its fucking weird.

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Wednesday, February 08, 2012,

Chinese Pig Zodiac people need to focus on their daily work and do not make any unforgivable
mistakes, otherwise (or else) your competitors will take advantage to ruin your reputation.
Chinese Horoscope
Any potential unforgivable mistake I make can be exploited, raped, and taken advantage of by
my competition/rivals (probably with a stolen and cloned facial type and body type) in an
attempt to destroy whatever goodwill and reputation the world has built around me.
What does Adulthood truly mean? Well, in the mature world, for starters, Becoming a Man often
means the Death of the Parental Figure, Figures, or all things related to Parental Figures. What
More Important symbol of coming of age is there than the Death of Ones Parents, their NonExistence, and Non-Presence in Ones Life in Ones Current Era or Generation.
Found a new hobby. Smoking Marlboro cigarettes and drinking rum-and-orange soda. Oh yes!
And eating fast food. Well, that and meditating with a chi ball.
Windows Vista, my operating system might still sucks in terms of safety, but ever since Ive
discovered sandbagging, a security mechanism found in the most advanced computers, I also
found out that Google Chrome (Not regular Google) uses sandboxing. Now its finally safe to
browse the internet in privacy, without having to worry about hackers accessing your PC
remotely from their shitty little PCs. Macs use sandbagging, and so does Google Chrome.
Sandboxing is a brilliant way of preserving safety, privacy, and defense on ones computer. Even
if you have a crappy low-security PC, the least you can do is use Google Chrome. For your own
privacy, well being, sanity, and safety, if nothing else. I means seriously, how hard is it to adjust
to Google Chrome. It doesnt even cost anything.
Current emotional mood: Relaxed and mellow. Must be the cigarettesits like a Paris caf!
Well, getting buzzed definitely makes it easier to read what Ive written. Im not weighted down
by analysis. I just do it. I read the manuscript I wrote. Such fun!
This is the second time Ive ever been really, really drunk. The last time was when I went out
drinking and getting buzzed with Amanda M. and John D. Im now pretty aware of what a
lightweight I am. Im not really much of a social drinker. I drink alone. My god. Ever since I
succeeded in the publishing world, Ive been drinking heavily to deal with my success.
The only tangible thing Andrew can be relied upon today, is be annoying to others 24/7, and
delude himself into thinking hes actually popular, when all he does is sit around the house and
scream and whine to his parents and me in that horrible voice all day and night, 24/7. Andrew:
The most annoying eccentric person I know. If there was a god, or Justice in America, I wouldnt
BE related to him.

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Maybe I should just chill out and have faith in a positive future, even when no one in my family
other than me puts any stock whatsoever in me, or the future. Well, I do. I have faith in myself,
and I have faith in the future, which as it turns out will be here a lot sooner than anyone
previously expected, and its making some people nervous and agitated. Not my problem.
On Invisibility and Formlessness

Visibility: If Im aware of myself, so is everybody else, and therefore Im visible.

Invisibility If Im not aware of my presence, no one else is either, and therefore Im
invisible.

So when am I not aware of myself? When am I invisible?

During Meditation
During Unconscious Sleep, often after drinking
When Im not around, Im not observed
Solution for Invisibility: Absence, Drinking, Meditating, Sleeping, Dreaming

Now that Ive officially arrived (horoscopes words. Not mine), Ive been doing what I
suppose anyone of my caliber and stature in this industry would do at this point, after decades of
struggle and strife. You know, the usual stuff: Watching TV in bed, alone. Drinking heavily.
Sleeping the day away. NOT going online. Weeping openly. Contemplating how far Ive come
in this world. You know, the usual nonsense of someone whos made it or arrived. I dont
know if Im comfortable saying Ive arrived just yet. I dont have it that easy. Id probably
know if I did have it that easy. Life would be different. Easier somehow. Tough to say exactly.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012,
I think Ive had my fill of the gibberish that is numeroscopes and horoscopes. I think Im done
with horoscopes and horoscope-ish thingsfor a while. The more I read into those things, the
more broke I became. Theyre too vague to be useful.
Ive been putting more emphasis on tactics lately, and not just logistics. Not sure if I should
continue to write. About what? Being famous? I dont really see the point in that. I decided a
while ago that I wouldnt explain myself to the public as much if my success ever started
speaking for itself. And it sort of has. Im getting tired of talk. Im finally acting.
My author name, and book title, and cover image, are actually starting to get some Googleshare
unto itself, thanks to Amazon. Theyre giving me a lot of inexpensive exposure. Now I have my
own product available. I guess that means Im now a professional. Promoting it could take just
about forever. But it will be well worth it. Ive gotten some publicity and press coverage from

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the Boston Globe and CBS Finance, both of who featured my book. A&E sent me an email,
interested in featuring my book. And Im all out of copies of my book, so Im ordering some
more to hand over to journalists, magazines, and newspapers, in case they ask. I still dont know
whether or not to link it to my pre-existing online identity. Would that help or hurt sales? Im
extremely cautious about the idea of taking that route. No one listens to the internet version of
me. I get respect as the author version of me, when I go the hard, but legit, route. Amazon sent a
press notice to a lot of people about the book. Pretty cool.
If theres one thing I dont need, its encouragement, recognition, vindication, or positive reenforcement. Im successful and popular enough. I dont need more of the samefrom anyone
really, especially not losers on TV.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012,
What is there to do now that Im newsworthy, or at least potentially so?

List of remaining things to do:

Lose weight and exercise

Continue drawing
Continue writing speculative fiction
Continue screenwriting
Study Martial Arts
Make More AMVs
Maintain my Internet Rep
Save up some money. Just a bit.
Keep drawing comics
Write more books and scripts

The way I see it, you want journalists as an ally, not an enemy or foe. The media and news has a
lot of influence with the power to both awaken & enrage. Im not out to make the media mad
or anyone really. Im just trying to do my job. Contrary to previous belief, Im not out to feud
and be enemies with anyone. Just because thats the spectacle some in the past have wished to
sell doesnt mean it represents anything resembling truth and accuracy. I dont force others to go
against me. They forced themselves into it. I didnt have any say in the matter.
Current most popular Google Search Titles:

SplitAtomBoom (YouTube) @ least 2 pages

Art Manifested by JM Matthews (Google/Amazon) 9+ search results

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What exactly DO you do to deal with when a serial rapist PR guy steals your face and likeness
and runs amuck? Ive seen the identity-theft-rapist mugshots? How exactly do people benefit
from raping my likeness numerous times and going on a violent rampage in the news? How
come everyone trying to be me is malevolent, and not benevolent? Are all evil twins sexually
aggressive and malevolent? That is pretty scary actually. Cant exactly say I approve of such a
thing.

Zen & The Art of Power: Lessons in Power

The Art of Influence, Lesson 1: Reaction
If the world is reacting to you, you control the world. If all you do is react to the world, the world
controls You. One way influence can be measured is by quantifying reactions to various
phenomena. The Influence of Reaction is Not a Two-Way Street. It only one way, and one way
only. For every conversation or interaction, there is reaction, either individually or in a group.
Those in conversation who get others to react control the conversation. First Person to Speak is a
relative term. Instigation predates reaction, and reaction is a sign of being influenced, not of
causing influence.
There are other things to talk about than just how successful I am.
Monday, February 27, 2012,
TV is acting pretty psychotic. It has been since Bryan took over and hijacked it. Not that I care.
Doesnt bother me if someone wants to humiliate themselves. Not really much of a likeness to
begin with. Not at all worried really. I dont think its safe to even make a show in such a shady,
malicious environment anymore. If you make a show now, you leave yourself wide upon to the
disturbing behavior patterns of others. All you can do as a TV worker is yield to the market.
Steven Spielberg and John Lasseter are the most powerful people in Showbusiness, yet how
often do we see them appearing on TV lately. I saw Lasseter on a rerun of an Ub Iwerks
documentary a month or two ago, but thats pretty much it. As a matter of fact, are animation
celebrities even real celebrities? Theyre powerful and influential, but not really very famous
outside of conventions and other public appearances. Otomo is widely known in animation, yet
hes never once appeared on American TV. Hardly anyone at all important in Japan ever does.
Its not considered very fashionable in Japan to be so mainstream in America. They dont find
that cool at all. A person like Jhonen Vasquez and Seth MacFarlane holds no relevance in Japan.
I doubt they even know who that is for the most part. Invader Zim and Family Guy were NEVER
popular in Japan to begin with! My output carries a lot more weight over there than both creators
combined. Not that Im boasting or anything. Just truth-saying. I influence Katsuhiro Otomo,
officially, and it kind of turns into a Japanese version of Six Degrees of Otomo/Tezuka from

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there. I dont need to advertise my connection to Katsuhiro Otomo, George Lucas, YouTube, and
Steve Blum, my ultra-famous connections and friends. Enough people know about my
connections that I technically dont even need to mention it. Anywhere. Ever. Other than here, of
course.
Tuesday, February 29, 2012,
I know next to nothing about current events taking place in the Arab World. Is there a way to
resolve the Israeli-Palestinian fighting and conflict? Its not the end of the world.
Trouble Areas:

North Korea
China
Israel
Palestine
Iran
Iraq
Bagdad
Afghanistan

These are where the real fighting is happening.

Doorway. Opening
I received the most amazing omen today. Art: Manifested, my artbook, is available in the foreign
section at Amazon.co.jp. Thats a milestone for me! I cant believe my artwork collection is
available online in Japan. I never thought this day would come so early. Thats where Osamu
Tezuka lived! So I suppose, in a way, CreateSpace self-publishing and co-publishing was the
right choice to make my debut. It just feels really incredible. This is the first time Ive had the
privilege and honor of having a book of mine distributed online in Japan. Not bad for a Gaijin.
That traditionally hasnt happened in the past. I know the Japanese prefer traditional print to
digital format. Japans love for the printed page far outweighs their interest in digital technology.
Theyve achieved extreme competence in the former, but in many ways theyre still adjusting to
the latter.
American TV is pretty intense sometimes. If its not one of my favorite shows, chances are its a
comedy with a bunch of rapid fire American cultural references. America is good at rapid fire
referential stuff. Thats a lot of references. I think I counted around 4.5 million in the last Adult
Swim episode of Family Guy.

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I seem to have lost a lot of my rage, rebellion and anger, now that Im actually the person I want
to be. I have no reason to be negative or rant online. Success tends to do that to you. It ruins
your anger. Ive done my job, and done it successfully. Works for me.
Finally found the MySpace page of my former romantic gal pal, Nicole

http://www.myspace.com/photoport
Shes all gothed and punked out now. Still very attractive, but shes still cool. I can tell. Her
personality really emerges part way online. Nicole used to have short pinkish-orange hair, like
Nami from One Piece.
Hi Nicole! Gee-yod shes hot.
Thursday, March 15, 2012,
Its so fun to lie and say on the internet that Ive been to jail when I never actually have.
People are so stupid theyll believe anything I or someone impersonating me will tell them.
People, society, is incredibly stupid compared to me, and therefore easy to lie to and manipulate.
TV appeals to the stupid people out there, not smart people. Smart people are working, studying,
engineering, and reading books. Some of them use the internet. TV isnt for smart people.
I perceive reality primarily through my emotions. My perception of reality is primarily filtered
through my emotions. That applies to a lot of people, but not most.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012,
The One-Man-Army Strategy. The Whoa! He did all of that work on his own?! effect. In my
later years, a decade from now, when Ive finished more work, I might just be able to use that
effect to my advantage. Im doing the work of 10 to 20 men. Not 1 or 2. My energy level is quite
high. To me, work is power. The more creative work I do, the more powerful I become, and the
higher my power level gets. Other than training in the martial arts, doing a lot of work is the
Number One Way to build up your Power Level. Work is Power. And if Work is Power, I have a
lot of Raw Power. If Each Page is a Power Point, my Power Points Are at 7,000+.

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Thursday, March 22nd, 2012,

Its weird to think that, with the way publishing is shaping up into a more digital formatI cant
help but realize that there could be a big chance that what I write here, on a computer screen
might continue to be on other computer screens. Forever! For eternity. I produced my writing on
computer screen, and my posthumous recognition might also be on a computer screen. My work,
like the work of numerous authors my own age, both graphic and literate, will be digital both in
life and death. But a manuscript as prolific as this one, is too long to be one book. In printed
form it would have to be divided up into volumes and chapters on demand, just like what Ive
already been doing with Lulu.com. If my entire word processor were printed, it would fill
numerous bookshelves. My Journals alone would look like the Encyclopedia Britannica Series.
Like Cerebus, Lord of the Rings, War & Peace, Naruto, and Akira, but longer. If theres one
principle in literary works as filled with power as the work and labor itself, it would be Length of
the Text. How many hours were spent on the book, and how long is the book? If you want to be
one of the most productive, you must ask these things. And even though Ive made it into a page
count range belonging in the 1,000s, I must have spent the first 1-2,000 words of my text and
manuscript just bragging and boasting about what a prolific literary genius I was. That effect
eventually wore off.
Friday, March 23, 2012,
Drawing comics is all about strategizing through finding new ways to problem solve and
combine formations out of two separate elements: Words and Pictures.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Unless its a basic noun, Im often very terrible at illustrating the concepts I write about. I just
need to practice more often. I have plenty of writing, or source material to draw from. So Im
sure I will practice the Prose Illustration technique in my sketchbooks. Its a necessary skill if
youre drawing a comic book from a script.
Books to help with this:

Blacksad
Scott McCloud
Drawing Pictures, Writing Words

I guess I just had to have more faith in myself that I COULD draw comic book pages. Because I
can and I HAVE.
Comics and animation definitely arent dying. Especially if you count the comics and animation
in France, China, Korea, and Japan.

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Actually, comics and animation are gonna get a whole lot better.
Im not trying to fit into the anime or animation world really. I tell comics stories my way.
Good Sequential Art is like gold! Good comic book pages are like gold bricks. They have a lot of
power and economic value, and if you produce enough of them, they can make you rich and
wealthy. The more gold, or sequential art you produce, the richer youll become. So thats what
Im doing in my room. Im creating gold. When I draw comic book pages, it feels like Im being
legally allowed to print money. So awesome. For me, 1 comic book page is worth 1,000 written
journal pages.
Sunday, March 25, 2012,
Its not so much that I hate or dislike Japanese people, or any type of aversion for that matter.
Theyre human just like me. Its just that its more that I dont trust or understand most of them.
They are weird.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012,
I launched my newest site, End Times Comic, Tuesday, which would be yesterday.
I couldnt help but notice every girlfriend, friend, or teacher Ive had in my life, now or any time
during my adolescence and childhood was a creative and/or intelligent person in some way. Lets
see:

Sue Choi
Chris Hess
The Hess Family
Amanda Martin
Clay Holliday
Phil Ferretti
Rima Jabbur
Johnny Bartlett
Donna Frank
Nicole Cook
Jo Ann Cook
Darnell

Theyre all so creative, talented, and smart! Theyre all good at something, just like me.

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Chapter 1
(XP)

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Lets see here. Which cartoonists and comic book creators have had their visions/comics
turned into animation? Or film for that matter.
The Boondocks
Invader Zim
Spawn
Thats all of em.

Honestly, after all Ive seen, done, been put through and have been through, I dont even
know if I WANT to be famous anymore, or powerful, or influential, and perhaps not even
rich too. Im THIS close to being all of those things, and yet they sort of seem like more
trouble than theyre worth. When youre successful, people easily mistake you for a
hero just because youre popular. That is unfortunate. I know its a positive view, but
still, the road to ruin is paved with good intentions, as the old saying goes. That includes
how one goes about labeling people of various success levels.
Why am I doing this anyway? Why do I still write in this journal on a daily basis when
Ive never gotten any real financial reward out of it, or even a job well done type of
message. From anybody. People know about this journal, and yet no one talks about it.
No one in the media wants to know about it. I cant GIVE these books away. And Im
terrible at marketing them. So why am I here? Why do I still care about my journal
writing chops. What am I doing. Thank God I started the Mono journal. Thats one way
to break my hypnosis/addiction/whatever that I have for the seductive tika-tika-ing of my
fingers breezing across the keyboards. Im the Les Claypool of the keyboard. Yeah, thats
cool and all, but I feel its time to move on.How many times have I said that now?

Spielberg is definitely a visionary directorHe knows where cinema is headed.

He forsaw:
The fall of Privacy (5 or 10 years we wont have any privacy)
The Writers strike (were all gonna lose our jobs)
Me (some whiz kid from out of nowhere will come along and well all lose our jobs.)
As for me. Ive foreseen a lot of things:
I foresaw:
Tokyopop and Viz Manga section in bookstores (initial business plans for a local
business shop, which is the equivalent of the manga section in ways. Its a similar image)

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The internet (Tim Berners-Lees Dream realized)

Anime
The Second Coming of East Asia

If you want my honest story, the whole My Art on DeviantART thing kind of happened
by accident, actually. Well, either that or it kind of just started off as a little mini
experiment of mine. I didnt think it would catch on in the mainstream anywhere NEAR
as much as it did. There was just one flaw in the publication plan. All the work was old.
That way of uploading is considered incredibly wrong and unprofessional by some very
established artist. God if I know who other than Phil, but supposedly, the rule of them
according to Phil when I was taking art lessons from him was to only include your new
best work. I WANTED to honor that unspoken code and set a good example to other
artists. But it never really worked out like I hoped it would in that sense.
Cerebus took somewhere around 30 years or more for Dave Sim to complete. No small
feat. And its all self published, just like Parallax.

If theres one thing I hate it would be people who waste my time. I HATE (HATE
HATE) having my time wasted. I HATE having to wait for OTHER people.
Man, this endurance thing is pretty cool.

There are other minor powers one can have:

The power to be humble

The power to not seek glory
The power to lose weight
The power to do decent work, even when its hard and distracting (like art)
The power to break a habit or not eat too much
The power to take a beating and keep on ticking
The power not to overreact or let things get to you

Lost more weight. Now not even a day after I lost weight the other night, Ive lost
another 4 lbs overnight. Im now at 285 lbs.

Everything I put down on paper is a giant Chronicle. My various writings and sketches
are but a mere extensive Chronicle of my life. The Jay Chronicles.

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Slowly, and patiently, I find myself drifting away from the internet and television. And
Im gravitating more towards technology in general, computers, art, regular publishing,
and DVDs.
But back on topic.
Long narratives:
Star Wars
The Matrix
Lord of the Rings
Cerebus
Bone
The Odyssey
Being and Nothingness
War and Peace
Akira
I realized something. The world of today, at least in terms of modern generations, has
never seen a real epic in person before. There ARE no brand new epics. My Journal was
just a preview of whats to come. My comic strips will be much longer. But only if I
work with a strong endurance factor, like say a Hamburger Train Endurance Factor. If
theres one thing Ive learned about fellow artists, its that most of them are a bunch of
lazy nutjobs who dont like real work. That and theyre fortunate freaks for having
such talent. Just like me.
Now that I know Im never going to become rich and famous as the saying goes with
my art, Im finding other, non-journal things to do to occupy my time. There are a few
that enter my thoughts when I think of non comics related work:

Lose as much or more weight than Ive lost already. All 40 lbs of it
Save Up Money with my SS payments and Etrade. Buy things off To-Buy List
Meditate all day, everyday, all night every night
Master rough sketching, my easiest style of drawing to master, but also my ugliest
Continue with DVD authoring and filmmaking. Branch off from YouTube

Virtuosity, Notan, Endurance, Anime Frame, Artists Block

Though neither of them have been greenlit by any television channel, animation studio,
or publishing house, in preparation for my potential career (and just for fun), Im
developing 2 of my best series concepts, with great gusto, while I let the other 2 or 3 just
kind of sit around. I have titles for all 4 of them. Not a single one of them is the same,

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other than a few trademark archetype characteristics. Parallax is the frontrunner, the make
or break title that will decide whether or not I have the option to option the rights to my
other 3 ideas.
My Parallax-Follow-Up is a another science fantasy series, about science, and magic,
their similarities and differences and the either hidden or subconscious relationship
between themin a fantasy world of course, where me and my crew, in terms of
development, can bend the rules of reality to suit the storys world. Its a little Potteresque, but no moreso than Parallax started off Sin City-esque. There are tons of
differences.

Ive done 400 rough pages for Parallax so far. Many of these have the potential to be
turned into completed panels. I mean, I may as well use those older pages. Just because
theyre rough doesnt mean I cant clean them up and add to them.
Currently listening to: FFIII (OAS) Its quite epic. Quite good.

Ill admit Im a sucker for 2 things: Hero archetypes, and genre analysis.

An art portfolio only requires around 6 or so pages of artwork. If it has the comic book
average of 5 panels on every page or so, the average amount of illustrations necessary for
those 5 pages would only have to be 30 pages of prelims, if youre editing your panel
artwork together on computer software. And rest assured, I have way more than 30 pages
done. Too bad its all of Mono, but hey even Im starting to move on from that.
Always remember:
If you make a big deal about taking the first step, you probably never will.
Ambition makes you look pretty ugly. Kickin, screamin, Gucci little piggy.
When I have come of age, I know exactly what I want to be that Im not now.
A virtuoso of the page (comics, panels, sequential art, graphic novels)
[stay thirsty, my friend. You will get there, in time - JM 2003]
That means I actually still have a lot of pages to go through.
Also, Ive realized that in terms of comics productivity, in terms of the order the comics
material is created, I used to like to think of story/word based concepts, then try to match
new crappy artwork up to themboy what a mistake that was. Approaching art with the
left brain first? How much does that suck (in certain ways). Nowadays, I prefer to think

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with pictures (random and unconscious, pre-verbal in terms of format and organization)
before I add any words to my sequential art.

Lit-cred
Street-cred
International-cred
Cinema-cred

Literature is the art of words. Their content. Their form. Their placement. Their
arrangement and order. And their meaning.

Im no longer actually really concerned with the internet, be it any and every site. My
will-power is so strong that the only thing that could break my desire and ability to work
endlessly on Parallax, just as I have been, would be me being thoroughly convinced that I
dont have the ability to eventually finish a story such as Parallax. Until that day of
realization of lack of ability comes, Im going to keep drawing until the day I die. I dont
care about my birth familys trials and tribulations. The failure and success lies with me
and only me. Regardless of whether or not I am up to the job.
I really am obsessed with my work. All other art has lost its meaning to me for the most
part. Maybe Im putting a little too much energy into thisConsidering Ive already
written four books. I like taking on Herculean tasks and discovering the creative leader,
perhaps even hero, in me.
No longer do I desire any of my old dreams. From this point on, the only thing I want to
do is make comics. And lots of them. As of now Im just sorting it all out in my head.
Thats kind of how it goes. Im in the conceptualizing and planning stages. Very
little of my world has been developed for my first series outside of Mono himself,
which in some ways is discouraging, but in other ways it just makes me want to work
harder. Unfortunately, my obsession for my work is all consuming, and half the time it
turns me into a complete heroic Spartan-esque douchebag genius who hardly anyone, if
anyone wants to, or likes to, get along with. Yes, I can be a jerk to nearly everyone, and
everyone hates me for it. However, I look at it this way: At least Im a productive, hard
working jerk. If I lose in the game of career and life, no one can ever again say it was
because of lack of planning or hard work.
Its tough to tell if Im working hard enough, even if I just am now realizing I finished
authoring 4 whole multi-hundred-page books. Its just, I really want to know if Im
working as hard on Parallax as Tolkien was working on Lord of the Rings. Thats some
of the greatest world-building Ive ever seen, other than the city of Blade Runner or the
world of Gundam or Akira of course. Its just when I think fantasy or science fiction, on
an unconscious level I often cant help but think of anime and manga in association with
those things as well.

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Thats kind of the thing about fantasy. Its real looking, and yet so unreal. Its like when
you look at the screen, its a window to another world or universe, somewhere, that
someone imagined, and maybe that a whole group of artists embellished from that initial
vision. That would be escapism. I do also love linguistics and syntax. To say nothing of
my brand new drawing techniques I learned only a few days ago.
My projectsmy favorite ones that ismay not have a brand or mind share, market
price on them yet. But I know theyre worth more to me than my own life. My work IS
my life. More so than any other competing element of my life.
I am diligent with my writing, DVD authoring/ripping, and TV/DVD watching. I just
need to harness some of that diligence I have for those less important things and apply it
towards something I obviously have some hesitance and reservations about starting on.
Maybe because of the pressure from the media on some ways. I have to figure out how to
learn to tune all those distractions out. If I can just do that Ill be set for life in terms of
my career, at least in terms of how hard Im working on the right thing. Never work with
too messy of a work station. My work station is messy as all hell. I need to fix that.
I think Im going to eventually order a past life reading off of the internet.

(if you ask me) The most innovative action films of modern times:
The Matrix (Yuen Woo-Ping)
Fight Club
Kill Bill: Volume I (Yuen Woo-Ping)
Key elements: using Yuen Woo-Ping, boring from Hong-Kong and Japan anime/action.

Hmm. What exactly is it that these eyes of mine can see, that other people cant? Well,
they did see the vision and world of Parallax, after all. That is something. That book is
my mythopoeia. In terms of my fictional world, I technically get to be the Lord and God
of my own universe. I already have had the power to create a fictional universe-world.
And now I get to compose all the smaller details. The big picture is already established
and sturdy. Now I just got to make sure other parts dont collapse. Though Im not really
powerful in the real world, I do have control in my world. I created it, therefore I am the
almighty powerat least in the world constructed by my imagination.
The whole reason I want to make enough money to live off of is not just for survival, but
also because of all the cool stuff I can buy and rent off of the web! I love buying
entertainment online!
My god how much I love improvisation. I love the concept behind improvisation,
whether in art or in literature, music, and filmmaking. Jack Kerouac was a master of this.

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One of the greats, one of the greatest. Most of my workactually now that I think about
itis in fact improvised. A lot of my most energetic work with the most vitality was
created and thought up, not in any kind of planning stage, but instead, on the spot.
If I appear on TV one day, as the celebrity I am, what a joke it would be. Id be attacked
and slaughtered by the entire studio audience. Its pointless. Theyd set me up to be
embarrassed and attacked and argued with. Or at least if I was in the position Im in now
they would. Thats kind of been my relationship with the more critical side of television
already. People want me on TV but they dont know how to get me there, so they
compensate for this absence with cheap clone-like figures. Its disturbing, man!
Novels and traditional cinema, and maybe (or maybe not) TV animation may not be an
option anymore, even if I do dabble. Those are beyond my power.
When it comes to art and comics, though, to survive, Im going to have to be humble in
my socializing, meanwhile being practical and realist-rational in my technique. However,
I need to be Artisan-vast in my vision, both now and until the day I die, or at least until
the day I look back and see all of Monos (aka Tzus) subplots and visuals brought
together in the way Ive been planning. Just because I think on a large scope does not
mean I can afford not to analyze the logistics of my technique on a much, much smaller
scope.

The most thrilling type of Narrative Entertainment, for me on a personal level, has always
transcended the constraints of the human body and reached something beyond the body
that is very important: The Soul. The intangibles. Western entertainment is not exactly
indulgent in soul feeding. Actually, in the West its quite the opposite. Western
entertainment often, if not always, WANTS its audience to sense the body, as opposed to
the soul and other various intangibles.

Ordered Manga Studio today. Best thing I ever bought myself in a long while.
Hi. Its me. That guy. That guy that does whatever he does.
Id hate to jinx myself because I am superstitious. But I think I may have very well found
a way to be invisible and disappear completely. People cant hurt (let alone react to) what
they cant hear or see.
Considering how much is at stake, this house should not just be treated like a house. I do
like how the outside of this house looks inviting though. My parents have a decent eye
for nice looking houses.
But anyway, this house should in fact be treated like a base of operations. And a 1 man
operation. No one else can be trusted in this vicinity, except me

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The Japanese soldiers of ancient times knew well of:

The power of sight (or lack of)

The power of hearing (or lack of)

There are endless ways to fool these two senses.

My art brain has been wired to only draw Mono when it comes to my good new art,
perhaps by osmotic pressure, and unintentional conditioning. Mono is now like my
journals. Ive intuitively trained my mind how to draw and write them perfectly, and
theyre my comfort zone, but when I try to step outside that comfort zone, the quality
goes in the crapper. But the key is how to get out of this comfort zone (Mono, Journals).
Though I do love Mono and Journals, I need to be more well rounded. Its not healthy
being creatively good at only one aspect or thing or character or concept or design!
(2013-According to Bruce Lee, you SHOULD stick to what you're good at).
That leaves me with only one choice. From this point on up to a time when Im drawing
something other than him, Im not allowed to draw Mono for now. I can draw anything
BUT mono. But no Mono.

After some careful genre analysis and observation of the science fiction and fantasy
genres, Ive I know one thing. Budget doesnt matter. Were only limited by our
imaginations, as opposed to budgets, or computers, or connections. All those things arent
even an issue anymore. Its the infinite mythical realm of human imagination that can
either send us soaring into space or make us crash and burn.

Honestly, I believe five years is more than enough time to get a job done. I dont see any
reason anymore to do any more work on Parallax than what I already have. Ive done
enough labor intensive back breaking creative work. Ive done enough work! Ive made
my decision. Im through. My art life is over.
There are many fans lurking on the internet who will gladly proclaim to you that my epic
works are epic crap, and that whole forests have been murdered just to be used to print up
my garbage. I can live with that. - Sorry for stealing that line from you, Stephen King.

I now have 2,000+ pages of speculative, free to use reference material at my disposal,
both drawn and written, but mostly written. I have all the plans, plots, and schemes. I
have the basic and visceral vision. It obviously took a lot of work to reach that point. But
now I have something to show for all my efforts. A collection of notes, plans, journals,
sketches, and illustrations, which I can utilize in my future projects however I see fit. My

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notebook and journal pages, when combined and all put in a stack on the floor, are
actually thicker than the phonebook. Thats amazing if you ask me. I have no clue why I
worked so hard on nothing but practice. A little refining, and I could stand to make a lot
of money!
You know, I think it was a mistake of me to assume I could handle the task I set out for
myself of doing this big thick phonebook size stack of a book known as Parallax.
Despite the internet, and TV spies, and headhunters, and marketing brand managers, and
bullies surrounding me, and cyberstalkers, and corporate rivalries, make no mistake, I did
get a lot of work done. But the world defeated me. Now I just feel defeated. I feel no
motivation to continue carrying on. I cant do something that massive all by myself. Too
many people using the Mirror / Body Double Tactic on me. Perhaps I make for good bait,
or an obvious victim

I think I remember one of my psychic readings I got for free online said much of my
recognition would come post-humously.
And another said Id have a large audience in the later years of my life.
I invented a new term for what I do, other than using the pre-existing terms author,
engineer, artist, and designer for animation and comic books
What Ive chosen to call myself is an Internet Auteur Entrepreneur. Not to be confused
with what some in the media might call film, animation, or comic book auteurs. Im
doing new and innovative things with creativity and design on the internet, and carving
out what is generally a solid niche for myself in an advanced technological field. A field
ruled by the left brain. Im bringing more right brain elements into the web and the Web
2.0, as both an artist and a writer. My colleagues are no different. All the YouTube and
DA kids.
I think I know why Parallax was just recently brought to a grinding halt. I didnt feel like
I was just doing it for me anymore. I felt like I was trying too hard to please other people.
I need to make it personal again.
Apparently, a lots been written in the media about me, my life, the world of Parallax,
and Mono the protagonist I created (both directly and indirectly).
Favorite topics: God. The Cosmos. Justice. Sentimentality. Humanity. Compassion.
Bravery. Power. Masculinity. Nobility. Power. Strength. Immortality. Life Stories. The
Exposure of Hypocrisy. Technology. Innocence. Civilization. Myth. Systems. Art. SelfExpression. Emotion. Intensity. Beauty. Anger. Eccentricity. Solitude. Isolation.
Exploration of the Internal Self.

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80% of the imagery on TV, and 50% of what is seen and read on the news (not so much
the actual content, but the way it is presented) is the handiwork of the devil. The devil
controls fear.
GI Joe Resolute, featuring Charlie Adler and Steve Blum, as it turns out, is the most
popular streaming video on Adult Swim website currently, with stellar net ratings,
perhaps even YouTube level. The GI Joe Resolute film, which I watched a week or two
ago, currently has more than 1 million hits on Adultswim.com No. 1 in da Hood, G.
Personally, I think Adler and Blum did a great job on it.

Ive just realized something. For my comics and animation work, speaking for myselfI
cant speak for any of my colleaguesdamn, Im such a lazy American. My work rate
might be intense and powerful, but Ill be one of the first to admit its much too slow. The
animators and production artists in Japan and France make my little WCN operation look
like a joke, in terms of the intensity and shortness of the work schedule. I feel quite
humbled and humiliated when I see how hardcore they are about their work. They HAVE
NO lives outside of their workloads for the most part. Scary thought, and yet somehow I
greatly admire and am impressed by that mentality. Thomas Romain of Oban Star-Racers
fame is a good example of a French artist with that kind of hardcore animation mentality.
I have recently discovered a new anime technique I want to incorporate into my style
other than Notan and the animation cell technique. Basically, I now want to study the
Japanese version of squash and stretch choreography and motion design Japanese
animators use.
FLCL
Dead Leaves, Gurren Lagann
Basquash
Afro Samurai.
I guess Id better get to work studying that old book Timing for Animation.
Studying this type of motion, movement, and action and applying it to my own work
would certain be a good idea. Give it that insane extreme bouncing off the walls
quality. It might be a challenge in terms of how to place the form on the page, but it
would be well worth the effort and work put into it if I can succeed at it.

I feel like every time I show one of my brand new sketches to my parents, that Im
jinxing myself somehow. I feel like, on a certain level, they dont comprehend what Im
trying to go for, so why even try explaining it to them. I did around 40 drawings today,
but only showed 1 or a few of those to my mother, when a year or two ago I might have
very well shown all of them to my parents. Now Im only showing 1 or a few. Weird.
And maybe I should continue in this pattern cuz its making me more productive than
usual for some reason. This project is really starting to put a lot of emotional weight on
me I drew a very scary looking drawing of Mono in an attack and defend pose less than

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20 minutes ago. His anger as a fictional character was the direct result of my own inner
anger. Like Donna said. Art isnt just an emotional thing. Its a spiritual thing. I like
taking lessons. Theyre very insightful.
Types of Wuxia:
Gun-Fu
Wire-Fu
Badass longcoat
Shaolin Kung-Fu
Tai Chi Sword
Heroic bloodshed
Fencing
Swordplay

Some of these young artists truly are a networking nightmare. If someone is overeager, I
can understand that. However, theres no excuse for rudeness when youre dealing with
comic books and animation, in terms of real world interaction. Being rude in your style
is one thing, thats an illusion half the time, but being rude in real life is quite another.
Apparently, quite a few people (surprisingly enough) still view this position of status Ive
attained as greatness, glory and glamorous. I dont know if Id go that far. I may or
may not have a lot of influence online, but in the real world that only goes so far. And
yes, even if I have achieved status and fame on the web, I still do have to live in the
real world like everyone else. Its really kind of a balancing act. I do get quoted a lot,
unwittingly. What a nightmare.
Im not one to overstate my social position. But apparently there are some fans out there
who just kind of assume because I created something as big as the concept of Mono that
apparently means I have one of the most glamorous job titles in all of animation and
comics, due to how well known my style is becoming, and the fact that Im the go to guy
of sorts in a lot of young artists minds, in terms of the web. Im not sure what to make of
this newfound way Im apparently being view by some.
The term anime, if you type it into Google, brings back 200 million different results.
The term YouTube, if typed into a Google search brings back 700 million results.
Thats odd. I was so caught up in doing my thing, I never stopped to analyze just how
popular these things are nowadays.
For all of 2009 or so, Ive felt like a prisoner to my own small amount of success. Ill
explain. Drawing my Mono books has kind of become a damned if you do, damned if
you dont venture.

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If I DO work on more material, I have to endure all the pressure that goes with it, and
also I have to somehow maintain my insanely high standards, even though Im in no
condition physically to meet them half the time. Still, Ill try anyway.
If I DONT, the void and shame not working on or finishing my best project ever, leaves
in my life will haunt me and follow me everywhere I go. It might even drive me insane.
To say nothing of the demanding press and media, who keep hounding me to keep
plugging away.
Its just a losing battle. If I DONT work on Monos book, I suffer, if I Do work on
Monos book, I suffer. Im punished by the powers that be no matter whether I succeed or
dont do anything at all.
I know exactly what my problem is too. Well, sort of. I hate practicing and training. I
fucking hate it. I hate practicing! Its so dull and boring most of the time! Its such hard,
harsh work. Honestly, I hate working in general, even if it is drawing on a blank page.
But the thing is, I want to enjoy practicing. And yet I dont. I fucking hate it. (Why did I
hate practice? Get to the source of the motivation of this hatred of my process and the
things affecting it... - 2013)

Ive narrowed down my brand image quite a bit. My brand is my job and what I create
and design. In other words, my brand is Mono and Parallax. Manga, fantasy, webcomics,
anime just kind of go along with that, in terms of the context Mono is in. Mono actually
makes for a pretty kick ass brand for me to utilize. It goes back to Branding 101. Why is
Monos style a brand? Why do I consider it that? Because Mono sells. Whooping ass
sells. Manga sells. The internet (if done right) sells. Action and fantasy sell. Up till this
point, the longcoat thing has primarily been an cinematic Asian Triad and Yakuza thing,
and a Highlander thing, ever since John Woo and whoever did Highlander created that
fantasy archetype (the longcoat) in their movies, Highlander: The Movie and John Woos
classic A Better Tomorrow. But up till this point, its primarily been the forte of Asian
artists and filmmakers. Im the first white American artists to draw longcoats in that way,
other than, say, Todd McFarlane (Sam and Twitch) and Frank Miller (Marv in Sin City).
Other than that, it was later the Wachowski Brothers with The Matrix trilogy, classic noir
films, and cyberpunks own longcoat archetype, which was Blade Runner (which is
almost guaranteed to stimulate an artists imagination upon watching it). Actually, now
that I think about it, it is kind of hard to know WHO started it. But Im participating, at
the very least.

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Thats interesting:
The (digital) publishing industry is changing:
The article said this:
More and more books digitally published
From Associated Press
May 19, 2009 3:14 PM EDT
NEW YORK - A shrinking economy and rising technology have transformed how,
and how many, books are being published.
With publishers cutting back new releases in response to declining sales, an
estimated 275,000 traditional books were released in the United States last year, a
drop of about 9,000 from 2007, according to Bowker, a New Providence, New
Jersey-based company that compiles industry statistics.
Categories with the biggest reductions included travel, religion and biography,
Bowker said Tuesday.
But the number of "on-demand" books, a category featuring works with tiny,
digitally stored print runs, topped 285,000 in 2008, the first time they outnumbered
traditional texts. In 2006, there were fewer than 22,000 on-demand titles, which
have become an increasingly popular way to bring old books back in print or keep
recent releases from going out of print.
Thats really cool. 2008 was only a year after I made my debut on the indie comics and
webcomics scene by publishing the first issue or two of my comics digitally. Good to
know Ive stumbled upon yet another growth industry: Digital book publishing. Right up
there with webcomics, online broadcasting, and streaming video.
Comixpedia.com had its 4th annual list of the some of the most influential people in
webcomics. On the list was Fred Gallagher, Steve Purcell, the guy in charge of Marvels
Webcomics division, and in 6th, was my current boss Joey Manley, and the article briefly
mentioned Webcomics Nation and independent creators. Im assuming that includes me.
I must admit, being included on a list is a great ego booster. But it aint easy to do! Thats
for sure.
If you look at the schedule of all the channels lately, action cartoons (what I do in other
words) are seriously in the minority, even when theyre hit shows and incredibly

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profitable, theyre still in the minority of shows made. Does this fact make me unhappy?
A little bit. But at the same time, knowing no one except a fortunate few are trying what
Im tryingin the United States, is kind of a welcome change of pace. The only people
who really seem on the same page as me in the TV landscape is the action, anime, and
Western action adventure staffs of stuff like Star Wars Clone Wars, Iron Man, Ben 10
and Wolverineand Avatar and the Boondocks. The fact that few actually truly try what
I do on anything more than a superficial level makes me an action auteur, kind of like
Tarantino I guess. Except with trenchcoats instead of Uma Thurman and mafia suits.
Technically, if I didnt know better, Id think people viewed me as one of the main
players of the action auteur cinematic cable television scene. And they respect me for it.
But there are people online who have never met me who are just very derivative of
everything I do, and I know for a fact that due to their lacking originality, if I dont sell
any of my work they wont either, unfortunately. But yes. The action auteur market is
incredibly profitable for industry veterans and pros, or other people at the top, who are all
32 years old or older, despite having personalities that say otherwise and make them
seem to have a mind thats younger than that.

That book, Tales of the Bloodsword, is a godsend. That first trade paperback edition must
have at least 200 really decent action panels in it. Its quite possibly the most action
packed Eastern comic Ive ever read in my life, other than maybe Dragonball Z. It has no
peer. But yes, DBZ does come in a close second, because it has close to almost as many
as Bloodsword does, but even DBZ doesnt compare in terms of action panels.
Bloodsword is just nonstop action.
Photoshop CS is good for creating online Flash Artwork Galleries, or so I hear.

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Chapter 2

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

2 facts about me:

Technically speaking, I can do basically anything, finish any goal, reach the top of
any field. As long as I put my mind to it.

I dont build small. I build my empires and projects with nothing less than epic
proportions.

Also, my work might not be egoless. But it is thankless most of the time. No one ever
shows gratitude to me for anything. That is what thankless work is all about.
That numerology thing is probably true. I do indulge in thankless work, and I am afraid
of taking. The last thing I want to do is take anything from other people, be it money,
fame, appreciation, credit, glory. Unfortunately, I now realize Hollywood is full of
takers, not people who dont take. Its full of people who DO take.

It says about my number, according to superstition and numerology, any thought

I have can literally become real, regardless of whether I want it to or not.

Pioneer, groundwork layer, Master Builder, revolutionary, pioneer

Yep. Thats me. I build foundations, using my engineering as an aid. I lay the
groundwork that establishes the foundations of institutions for many future generations.
Even IF Time seems to have slowed down for the last two decades or so, due to how fast
the media speeds human perception up. This all goes back to the time-space continuum as
it relates to infotainment, information overload, and the media somehow I would guess.
But, yes. I do hold myself up to the same standard I hold other people up to. No
hypocrisy in the motivation there. I hold myself up to the same visual standard that I hold
all my favorites of the best Tokyo-based animators and manga-ka up to. I couldnt care
less how much of a genius they are. I want to be as good as them one day, if I can help it
at all, even if it is just for show.
Because when I least expected itmaybe I should take note of this for laterby some
holy miracle of impossible feats, I was suddenly back on my computer chair and logged
into the comic book software againManga Studio. Before I knew it I was bookmarking
panels and sizing up pages once again. Despite an inexplicable, unexplainable, very
powerful self-defeating attempt at self-sabotage, somehow Im right back where I started,
at least in terms of comic book pages. I sense Ive still got a few weeks, or at least a few
days, to go until I get my drawing mojo back. Because it took such a heavy blow, I can
already tell its not going to be an easy recovery. But it is possible, and it will happen if I
just let it.

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Now it seems I am at a battle of wills and wits with the most difficult and worthy
opponent of allMyself. My other half actually feels like its fighting it out with my
good half in a battle for supremacy and Mastership over the rest of my adult working life.
My scary half wants to just end everything right here and now and not see me realize my
full potential. I sense a much stronger, pain tolerant version of my id, ego, and superego
acting up. The id wants to end me. The ego wants to protect my work, and therefore me.
And the superego sees beyond both of them, things like spiritual and emotional
fulfillment, while the other two aspects of my consciousness have none of that. I never
thought Id hate myself this much. Until my adult age set in.
Mr. Horoscope sums it up pretty well:
Tension is apt to build to quite a high level for you if you are not careful with how you
use your words, dear Scorpio. The tricky thing to keep in mind is that forces are going to
be at work that will try to push you one way and pull you another. You may be
encouraging a need to focus on the collective, while others seem to be worried only about
themselves. Still another force is acting that calls for outdated remedies and traditional
structures that simply no longer work for your purposes. Blaze your own trail!
You have a lot of drive right now, but are you letting it steer you into bad places?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I have the power to master my field, change the medium entirely, and alter the
way people in the west think about comics, forever.

I can also get very discouraged when things dont go my way, and if I feel even
just a little pressure theres no telling what kind of stupid things I might do to
sabotage my future success.

Good news. Got another 3 or 4 comic page layouts completed. Thats the first of any
pages Ive done since the near death incident. Im surprised how well this recovery is
going.
The anime god? Thats the first time Ive ever heard that phrase. The anime God would
have unlimited authority, respect, power, and knowledge I would think. The anime god
would create most if not all anime being in his own image. Heh.

I know what I want out of my work. Other than to be a One-Man Army. I want to
practice and work with the cold efficiency of a machine, a computer, a factory.
Machines perform things fast, with no effort, and do everything perfectly. Machines
dont get stressed out or feel emotions. They merely do their job, never getting

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discouraged, angry, depressed, sad, or, in general, emotional. I want that emotionless
efficiency. A machine and factory doesnt let opponents or the media psyche it out.
In terms of jobs, I already am a machine when it comes to journaling and DVD authoring.
Currently, Im not in any kind of condition to draw artwork that actually turns out good.
If I try to draw anymore today, anything and everything I try to draw will turn out bad.
Fortunately it wont stop drawing soon. I just need a little time. Two, three weeks tops to
just forget about the art for a while.
The world is a different landscape now than it was 10 and 20 years ago. We are not living
in the same world we used to not that long ago. War came and went. And so did a whole
lot of pop culture. I, with a handful of other early adapters, helped indirectly kick-start the
popularity of anime (200 million entries in Google), manga (100 million entries in
Google), YouTube (800 million entries in Google), and internet (used by over 1 billion
people worldwide), Cartoon Network (seen in 87 million U.S. Homes and in 160
countries worldwide), and Adult Swim phases of pop culture, along with a handful of
other young and influential people. Or not. Was it me or was it others too. Well, later on
it was others, but not really in the beginning.
And even with as much influence and style as I have now, I openly admit I cannot
actually control the growth or patterns or business aspects of the mediums I helped
pioneer on smaller and large scales throughout the current age. Sure theyre giant empires
now, but when I started doing free stuff for them, as an early fan, out of the generosity I
find in my heart at times, they werent 1/10th the size we see them at today. Theyve
grown incredibly big in such short amounts of time. Its been very entertaining to at least
try to measure some of their growth like what Im doing right now. To say nothing of
their online presence becoming a tad bit, shall we say, overcrowded and overpopulated.
The cyber-communities around these phenomena are just very highly populated and
dense in certain places, with people of all sorts, from all walks of life, which is part of
why I stopped interacted with them recently as much as I used to. I just got lost in the
shuffle. The tidal wave of fans and people, most of whom have no clue who I am or what
role I play in all of this, in the big picture of history and posterity. There is a freedom that
goes with not working for anyone officially though. You have a lot more freedom as a
free agent in some ways, to say and do whatever the hell you like and want, and that is
liberating.

Finally I did it! I finally did a decent drawing again. After weeks of anxiety, Ive done a
drawing Im proud of. Its a picture of Mono pointing a highly rendered version of a
handgun at the camera, John Woo style. Other than Conan, Star Wars, Sin City,
McFarlane, Dave Sim, Otomo, and Syd Mead, John Woos early work is fast becoming
one of the biggest influences on my work (Hard Boiled, Last Hurrah For Chivalry, A

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Better Tomorrow), speaking in terms of aesthetics and use of violence in a cinematic

light, what with the firearms and black trenchcoats (more of a reference to gun-fu than
goth culture). John Woo and Yuen Woo-Ping, combined, have a much larger influence
on my narrative and cinematic work than The Matrix ever did.
When I set out to write a narrative, truthfully, Im more likely to give it a cinematic and
visual form, just because thats how Im used to ingesting narratives other people write
(as opposed to novels). When it comes to narrative and narratology, Im a visual thinker.
Im a visual director-auteur. So even when my journal is 1,200+ pages long, even with all
that literary experience, I still prefer to narrate my stories in a simple, more visual and
action (i.e. literary violence from comics and cinema) based format.
Material I need to study for visual violence reference:

One Armed Swordsman vs. the Nine Killers (Shaw)

Last Hurrah for Chivalry (John Woo)
Hard Boiled (John Woo)
War (Jet Li)
Dance of the Drunken Mantis (Woo-Ping)
The Invincible Armor (Woo-Ping)
Contract Killer (Jet Li)
House of Flying Daggers (HK cinema)
Chinese Hero: Tales of the Bloodsword (HK comics)
My fighting tutorial books (various)
Kung-Fu Comics (various)

All of these are available in my house to be viewed for free.

Cinematic influences:
Cyberpunk
Gun-Fu
Science Fantasy
Fantasy
Quentin Tarantino
John Woo
Blade Runner
HK Cinema
Wire-Fu
Spielberg
Well Im 25. A respectable age, sort of. Currently no one knows who I am. And it will
probably stay that way at 30. Im not getting my hopes up. I think it will work out in
some form or another. Im just not exactly sure how yet. My artwork is too much of a
double edged sword to be reliable.

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I have a new goal for sketching, now that I have a whole phat stack of paper:
I want to work up to drawing the equivalent of a professional animators page rate, either
from Japan or America in the 1940s at Disney (Ub Iwerks).

Im planning on buying Heavy Liquid and Storm Riders: Clash of Evils from
Yesasia.com

Which one matters more in getting a job? Work history, an education, or a portfolio?
Is there a market for my DVD authoring-ripping, Flash Video, webmaster, adsense, and
webcomics thing? And if so, where do I find it?

Scorpio Horoscope
You don't have to try to attract people (or money, or whatever else you want). Your
natural magnetic energy does all the hard work for you, so just see if you can point it in
the right direction!

Katsuhiro Otomo is to production design, angst-ridden violence, and cinema what I am to

bleak and intense visions on the page and screen.

I dont know about a great artist, but I do really want to become a great writer one day.
For all I know, I could be finished for good or just getting started. I just dont know
anymore.

Im a super-engineer, super-ultra-genius.

As a young, new generation entrepreneur, I still to this day have a handful of business
influences, in terms of corporate figures:

Sean Akins (anime)

Osamu Tezuka (anime, manga)
Bill Gates (monopoly, oligopoly)
Ted Turner (cable monopoly, animation networks and animation)
Tim Berners-Lee (the internet)
George Lucas (computers, showbusiness, entertainment, Hollywood)

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Making DVDs
I have an engineers awareness of a the media products (DVDs) form, that all DVDs are
labeled digital discs in labeled cases, that have content-data or digital video written to
them, that are organized by Disc Menus, and making them really only requires certain
actions and skills. That making them only requires certain skills. And those skills can be
learned.
Secrets of Tech Magic
Magic of DVD Making. The Magic Trick of making a DVD from nothing, making a
DVD appear out of thin air. Of course there is the INTPs fascination as a would-be
wizard, with the secrets and magic of media and technology. And the art of making a
comic book, webcomic, and original DVD appear out of thin air.
Magic list:
Illusion
Making Something out of nothing
Making something appear out of thin air
Wizard
Magic
Secrets
Trade secret
Secrecy
Insider information
Anime
Manga
International Co-Productions
OEL Manga
DVDs
Big Business
Cable TV
Streaming Video
Engineering
Webcomics
Production Design
Self-Publishing
Planning and Strategy
Ive just noticed. I do have a superpower. I know how to produce technical magic. I can
magically, with a computer, supplies, and my bare hands build a DVD from scratch and
make one from nothing, content and all! That is my power. I can magically make DVDs
appear.

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The best leader is often one who is overburdened and overstretched according to my
business astrology book. Picasso was another notable Scorpio, who revolutionized
modern art. Being overburdened and overstretched can be good, and its a sign of success
and leadership. But it can also make you feel like your brain tissue is being torn in two.
Or at least, thats how I feel. I feel like I tore my brain tissue.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Stop thinking so much about myself. Start thinking about other people. Stop being so
selfish. Give compliments, and not just to yourself.

My creativity is dead. Ive lost my passion for art.

Ive just found a new area of Hollywood I was completely unaware of, until just a few
days ago, that Im actually very good at, intuitively and aesthetically speaking. And that
is the fashion of anime, manga, and live action cinema. They call them costume design
and costume designers. Similar to production designers in some way, except its with
fashion and clothing design. I didnt realize it until other people noticed, but Monos
attire sets a great example in costume design, in almost any medium. That and the fact
that I have a whole stack of random rough costume designs. I have more fun creating
Monos costume design than I do drawing the rest of him, except maybe his spikey hair
and angry face.

Heres an interesting personal tidbit:

I like buying, chasing, getting, purchasing, collecting, arranging, and attaining
thingsBut I dont feel better once Ive gotten used to having them. I like buying and
shopping for things I like: CDs, DVDs, software, books, video games, but Im bored once
I have them, and even after Ive worn them in, Im hesitant to use them. Like they say, I
like the hunt and the chase. Theres thrill in the capture, but no thrill in the usage or
digestion. I like getting things a hundred more times than I like having things. I like
having things too sometimes, but thats just not as fun as when I first attain or receive that
stuff.

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JM Strebler 2009

Chapter 3
(Regular PC Windows XP)

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JM Strebler 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
What is this overwhelming sense of strength Im feeling? Right now, I feel so strong, Im
actually losing touch with reality. I can feel the out of control energy in the air. I dont
even feel human right now. I feel the force of nature around me. Its a force. Something
possesses me or the energy surrounding me.

I know the truth now. Well, part of it. And in a way, it turned out to be simultaneously
what I hoped and what I feared, all at the same time. Not only am I competing and
working nationally, but internationally as well. With everywhere and everyone on the
planet. I still have a chance to be the greatest. But not if I dont work harder than Ive
ever worked before in my life. I dont stand a chance of competing. Unless Im strong on
every level, both physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I dont stand a chance. There
are no easy answers here. And I will fail if I dont train and practice and work hard to be
as good as possible. Theres only one answer I can think of for my dilemma, and that
isto transcend my old limits.

In a way, my webcomics have become more powerful than I expected. They are one of
my strongest strategic defenses. Mono is a wall in some ways, and I like that about him.
Its the same thing with the world he lives in.

Finally, the media seems to be picking up on my pop cult-ure nostalgia theories, what
with my various YouTube pages and whatnot. And it starts with that 2 Legit show on
MTV2. I approve. The show is really, really cool. Its like the one place I can go to
actually watch the Maxx, instead of staring at it on my classic vintage dust covered VHS
shelf in my room. I wonder if theyd ever be looking to hire an intern like me, or better
yet, an employee! I mean my YouTube and webcomics sites are quite a site to behold, in
terms of portfolio material.
What Im watching in terms of programming blocks:

Har Har Tharsdays (Thursdays)

Ani-Mondays (Mondays)
MTV 2 Legit (Fridays)
Adult Swim ACTN (Saturdays)
4KidsTV (Saturdays)
You Are Here (Fridays)

Im considering starting up a web entrepreneurial entertainment business. Basically, Im

considering hiring, enlisting, employing, and or intern-employing assistants and
employees to help me pick out videos for my YouTube site, for favorites, public
announcements, commentaries, and general operations. Im beginning to see the true

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value and importance of what I do, and Im probably eventually going to need help to
keep my enterprise going.
Thunder-Lightning Studios LTD (AKA Thunder Lightning Productions LTD) is
basically what I do in association with business partners. Whether its Lindsey or an
anime studio The name will probably be changed if I ever get out of the webcomics
business.

dark action, martial arts fantasy, cyber-noir-expressionism.

OK, so it turns out Im going to be updating my online Webcomics Nation gallery, once a
day, for the next 90 days all in a row, just like a cartoonist. Thats 3 whole months worth
of new-to-you material. I think the diehard fans will get a kick out of it. I must admit, my
website is starting to feel pretty addicting to me. Almost right after I made the
announcement that the next three months are going to be all new material, readership shot
up on my Parallax website. I was fairly amazed how well that turned out.
Ive made my decision. By the time I am older, I want to be the dark action webcomics
version of Dave Sim, and I want Mono to be my Cerebus.
My stylistic career goal is to be Jhonen Vasquez and Tim Burton meet Conan, Tarantino,
and John Woo. Michael Moorcock is a good example of that. But the problem is, his
career is so obscure that hardly anyone in pop culture has heard of his most famous hero,
Elric of Melnibone.
Currently Im reading the book The Hero With A Thousand Faces by Campbell.
Something tells me Chinese Kung-Fu comics are starting to catch on. So is modern day
kung-fu cinema. Like stuff by Yuen Woo-Ping and the Shaw Bros. Studio.
Im starting to think I might actually be able to pull this thing off! Hell yeah! Im inching
up on 100 published pages. Slowly but surely I am getting there, after much trouble and
turmoil. Will I make it into the 1,000s. Tune in to find out! All I know is I can feel that
good old fashioned wuxia AND Scorpio power pulsating through my veins and general
being and existence.

As an orientalist, Ive known for a long time how important the East Asian market is.
Japan, Tokyo, China, Hong Kong, Beijing, South Korea, Vietnam, Taiwan, the
Philippines; all of them. But especially Hong Kong and Tokyo. These are small countries
in terms of geography, but big companies in terms of influence.

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In big business, in terms of marketing and market presence, emotional intelligence is just
as important as resource power.

Im quickly turning into a Master Writer. Im just completely falling in love with the
process of crafting and laying down words on a page, page after page. If theres one thing
no force in the world can force me to do, it would be to stop writing. No person on
either TV or the internet or in my local community has or will ever be able to get me to
stop cranking out words like the factory I am.
There are two kinds of people in this world.
People who have a habit for and talent for, showing up at a good time
And people who have a talent and knack for showing up at the worst time
Im the former.
With the internet, strategically speaking, I am ALWAYS taking into account the timing
of things. No choice. I have to show up at a good time, otherwise I can potentially stir up
a LOT of negative spiritual energy, just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Too bad my parents dont agree with this psychic fact.
As a Scorpio, I am a man of many secrets. I have many secrets. My life history. My
family and medical history. My entrepreneurial and engineering style. My drawing
techniques. My production techniques.
Philism: Whatever college you attend, you become a poster boy for that school.

When youre one of the most successful people in an industry, any industry. When you
are the guy in charge, at the dashboard of the title Creator and Executive Producer, and
you have your own whole property you built from scratchyou dont just have and attain
and exude power. Youre literally drowning in it.
Currently, my YouTube site gets around 40-50 hits a day.
Im making an effort to improve my plot construction. My syntax and linguistics are
strong, but my story and plot are weak. Im not even sure if I know how to construct a
plot. And Ive been writing seriously for over 10 years! Thats a long time!
My story about the Spirit Blade turned out relatively well for one of my first serious
fiction writing attempts. I was actually happy with how it turned out. Thats one of the
first ever instances of a narrative from me.
I wonder, why do I feel so invisible when people talk about me? Why do people always
treat me like Im fucking invisible? I wonder if things are going to stay this way for the
rest of time.

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Now that I have a career on the internet, and in comics, honestly, Im very close to
having absolutely no desire whatsoever to have association or employment in the
television industry. Its a filthy business. Or at least thats what its become. I have no
desire to be part of that. Who in their right mind would? Im a ghost now. Im through
with swimming with the sharks.

Dark Wuxia
But still, it is incredibly tempting, just getting the chance to doand doing
something thats never been done before, mostly in comics. Epic battle sequences
have been done in Yuen Woo-Ping and John Woo films, where theyre really
dragged out and choreographed insanely well. But theres a huge difference between
staging that wuxia look with actors on a film set, and drawing those same characters
with a pen and pencil on a flat 2-D piece of paper. Other than 60s wuxia, there is
also Star Wars. In a way, I am combining the cloth and stoic imagery of gallant
knights of medieval Europe, with the dark blackened fashionable look of Goth
attitude and attire. That alone has never been done before. And for that reason, it
could take a while to develop. Im not just planning it out in my mind, but also
conceptually. On the blank page. Its my job to make this modern day mythology
and synthesis up. Swords. Trenchcoats. Battles. Martial Arts. Anatomy and the
drapery surrounding it.
Swords and cloakish geometric shapes in my design. Those are two of my overbearing
trademarks in terms of my visual design.
I have now not only found a new home comfort in the television stylings of Adult
Swim, but also in the literary works of Michael Moorcock. By now I own 7 of his
fantasy books. I cant praise that science-fantasy author enough. Something about his
writing content and style is just soingenious and inventing. Like he knows hes able to
think well beyond people like me, but doesnt look down on my type because of it. And
hes stayed off the public TV radar for as long as Ive been alive. Which is quite a feat,
considering how amazing a character like Elric of Melnibone is. Studios never seemed to
have gone on record of having exploited Elric for profit the way they did Conan. I
wonder if thats a conscious career decision on Moorcocks part as an author of serious
literature, or just a spell of bad luck. One has to wonder. Im sure he makes a living on
book sales alone though, he writes so many.

Surprisingly enough, Im really starting to enjoy Stan Sakais Usagi Yojimbo. Im starting
to enjoy Sakais work almost as much as the work of Frank Miller (Sin City). OR what
about Usagi Yojimbo meets Akira, Conan, Elric, and Sin City? That would be pretty
cool. Actually, thats kind of already what Ive started doing in some of my black

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overlap. Still, I believe this particular exploration to be a private exploration of my
artistic style. Not a public one.
I used to be disappointed at myself for not drawing well enough. But Ive learned I
draw plenty well enough. Not everything has to be super-anime-ized. Fuck that shit.
Honestly, I dont care anymore if I draw as well as Todd McFarlane or Yasuhiro
Nightow. As far as Im concerned, I still have the power to draw better than a lot of
artists still, in terms of aesthetic appeal. I was stupid to compare myself only to the
mostly (only) Japanese artists who can kick my ass in drawing. So what? How bout I
draw however the fuck I want to? Ive seen perfect simple drawings too, from artists like
Bruce Timm and Jhonen Vasquez. Two artists who got very rich off of their work in the
90s and early 2000s. Simplicity should be my middle name, regardless of what realism
Nazis think of me. And to think all this time, I kept trying my hardest to be something I
can never be: something Im not. A detail Nazi. The truth is, I never did draw that
detailed or perfect to begin with. Theres actually no difference in terms of skill level,
between myself now and myself before the world noticed me, OTHER than the boatloads
and boatloads of public scrutiny and pressure that were force on me to do better and
perform better. Oh yeah! And Draw more detailed!!!111!!! Can you do that for
me??? Fuck no I cant do that for you! The criticism and pressure was vast, like an
ocean of words. I am a cartoonist / fantasy illustrator. OK, so I DO draw like Brendon
Small and Tim Burton half of the time, and the other half I have something of wonder.
OK, so Im NOT the most detailed artist on the planet. I can handle that, just as long as I
admit it. Am I going to let that fact or what people say and rumor about it get to me and
discourage me from doing more work? Not likely.
Honestly, I can see why so many people like YouTube. Because it really is that
democratic. It does offer a level playing field where nearly anyone of any walk of life can
compete. So nice. I love it. Who would have thought, what a novel idea, a website that
plays nice and fair with its usersmostly.

Favorite video watching sites

Adult Swim Video

4KidsTV.com
YouTube Anime
Funimation.com
Animenewsnetwork.com video section
My DVR

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From now on, Im going simple and exaggerated, like Tim Burton meets Yasuhiro
Nightow and George Lucas / Michael Moorcock (mythology)
I also have a new mini-assignment. My new job, or assignment is to draw a lot of
2 things: Fighting poses and architecture, until I have enough architecture and
fighting poses for A) A city and B) a continuous fight scene. Simple enough, right. I
guess well see.
My horoscope told me Im about to receive a payoff from a risk Ive taken in the past. As
an entrepreneur, that is exactly the kind of news you want to hear. Any day of the week.

Theres never any money to be made from the career fields I start, when I first start them.
But then people start imitating what I do and getting paid for basically doing the same
thing I do, and they leave me wondering, Why are we doing the same thing, and theyre
getting paid for it and Im not? I wonder why that is.

You know, that review kind of is right. The entire time during which I was complain
about the fact that I was unable to write a long work turned out to be the time I finished
writing one. All 2 Volumes, 1,200 pages of it. Manifesto.
But yes. Its true.
My only real goal in life is to draw and write a long form fantasy narrative work. Either a
comic book or a novel. And it needs to be at least 600 pages.
But hey, I guess Im off to a pretty good start with the Parallax comic book. And yes, Ive
created thousands and thousands of pages with non-sequential, non-narrative art and
literature. BUT, they never shape up the way I hope they do, meaning they dont tell a
poetic story, which is really all I honestly want.
Someone ALWAYS thwarts my attempt or jumps into and gets in the way of my career
goalto create a drawn and written long form (Not short story) multi-volume work.
But I think if I stick to quantity, Ill eventually achieve quality.
Quantity leads to quality.
Ive written 1,000+ page books with ease! Without even trying. And yet, when it comes
to the one or two things I try the hardest at. Someone in the crowd always thwarts me and
my effort or I always fail. All the things I put little to no effort into become huge success
stories. And yet all the things I put virtually all my physical might and effort into (like
say, a long sustained science-fantasy literary epic multi-volume saga) (along with me)
seem to fall flat on their and my face and fail to be completed. When will the failure to
endure, persevere, and complete my mission, end!

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I dont believe one should boast about their proudest achievements, real OR imagined,
just to get ahead in life. I believe one of power should always hide their real power level
and go incognito for as long as they can, to avoid disrupting the world and universes
natural balance of power.

Im not very interesting as a person, in real life. Im actually pretty boring and calm most
of the time.
I tend to live most of my life through the characters and people I see in my comp and TV
screens, and in the books I write and read.
Every great book has influences. Influences on my Journals and Manifesto Volumes I, II,
and III:

Ancient Chinese Texts such as the Tao Te Ching and The Analects by Lao Tzu
and Confucius.
One Taste: The Journals of Ken Wilber
Epistolary and first persona narrative novels by many of my favorite authors
The Lord of the Rings
One of Kurt Vonneguts novels
Frank McCourt, Gao Xingjian, and Dave Eggerss memoirs
Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre
Jack Kerouacs On The Road
Classic Science and Philosophy literature. The Story of Philosophy, for instance.
Karl Marx (title of my book, basic idea of revolution)

Finally finished editing the first ten chapters of Vol. I of Manifesto. Great. Im so happy
right now. Tired, but happy
3 Advil + Pencil/Paper + Reference Material = Quality Drawings
My two favorite jobs are: Creator, and Filmmaker. Whether its through comics or
through streaming video animation on the web.

In showbusiness, there are always politics, egos, and studio nonsense at stake, or so Ive
heard. But theres also a lot of good things, like fans and networking.
I must be pretty good at hiding my power level. The massive, ocean-like amount of
power I really have is and shall remain my secret asset. I never ask, I answer. I never beg
and say please. I turn people away.

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Memorable Works

Toonami
Tom
Naruto
Big O
Cowboy Bebop
Samurai Champloo
Adult Swim
The Cards
AnimeTV
IMDB
W.I.T.C.H.
Megas XLR
IGPX: The Immortal Grand Prix
Gurren Lagann
S-CRY-ed
Wolverine
FLCL
Anime
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex

Ill admit it, I do tend to fantasize a lot about success. About succeeding without having
to work for it. Its like I secretly contemplate being someone like Dave Sim or George
Lucas without putting in the man-hours to arrive at that goal over many years. And if any
little off putting thing happens, I get all disheartened and discouraged. Thats the trap of
fantasizing. Thats the thing about it. It butters up your expectations, and then when you
put any sort of pressure or weight on them, KRAK! They snap in two and you fall to your
death from the now-broken bridge.
Maybe I should just practice tracing. Tracing helps you get better at drawing. I lack
patience when it comes to drawing time.
I do like giving and being generally selfless. If I believe in something, I will give in the
name of it endlessly and serve it selflessly, whether its a cause, a revolution, or a master.
This no fattening high calorie foods around the family house rule is KILLING my
vitality. If I dont eat, I dont work. If I cant eat, I cant work. Not if Im literally
starving.
BOOKMARK

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Its odd writing a graphic novel. Im reaching through the blackness, darkness, and cold
abyss of nothing, diving in and floating around, in hopes of pulling out
somethinganything. A sword? A house? A city? A world? A castle? A hero? A book?
Who knows! I havent looked at reference comics and art books in god knows how long.
I think thats part of the problem, is Im not looking at whats out there already, or at least
not looking at that sort of thing enough. Ill never get back up to speed if I dont do any
professional artwork studies from my manga and Dark Horse and Image and indie
comics.
Powerful Players in Animation
Steve Blum, John Lasseter, Todd McFarlane, Jhonen Vasquez, Corey Senderov Jackson,
Shinji Kasai, Dave Sim
The more fans you have, the more projects you do, the more work you get done, the more
titles you complete, all pretty much determine the level of your brands influence.
Power Level: Determining Factors

Fan energy and loyalty

Googleshare (# of websites your on)
Mindshare
awards won
Book credits
Comic book credits
TV credits
movie credits
number of articles and interviews
(celebrity factor)
Amount of politics and ego on the job

I am adopted. But technically dont have a real blood relative family. Ive never met my
family.

No one I used to know recognizes me anymore. Especially not online. Kind of

depressing.

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JM Strebler 2009
But heres a real question. Why doesnt anybody in America want to draw like a
Westerner anymore? Bush is no longer president, and while the U.S. is going through a
Great Recession, which has proven catastrophic for businesses in America and abroad, I
foresee the dark clouds clearing. Eventually.
But Ive been having problems knowing whats causing my stress, which is probably
responsible for my creative blockage.
Part of me doesnt even want to live this life anymore. Its over, J. I just cant handle how
stressful the poor life is. Even when nothing is happening my mind is hardly ever at rest.
Whenever I lie down on my bed, my mind is racing and pacing quite a bit. And if youre
mind isnt at rest, chances are neither will be your body.
Id pay good money for the secret How-To Theory, food or soft drink ingredient, or
energy drink that would make me more inspired and have more energy to deal with
producing my work in my sketchbook. I work hard, but not as hard as the best.
I draw best when I am:

Relaxed. Spiritual. Zen-manifested. Listening to good music. Rebellious.

Revolutionary

I draw the worst when I am:

Depressed. Blocked. Stressed. Panicking. Terrified. Sad. Fatigued. Paranoid.

I dont remember there being so many girls trying to break in to the animation, anime,
and comic book industry. Now there are tons.

Apparently, I cant stay invisible and work in television at the same time

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Chapter 4
(Windows XP)

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Ive really got to learn to manage my energy levels better:
Brainstorming time:
Positive

Power / Energy
Discipline
Concentration
Stamina / Endurance
Motivation
Reasoning
Work Ethic
Ease
Resources
Allies

Negative

Fatigue (makes you more susceptible to intimidation, bullies, and stress)

Intimidation
Potential competition
Stress

Fatigue is what put my mom out of work, for the most part.
Fatigueno-energy, anti-energy, negative-energy (idleness)
(lowest level of fatigue and lethargy energy possible)
vs.
Dave Sim / Otomo / Tolkien energy
(Highest level of energy possible)
Energy Drinks / Mania
The way I cope with the ultimate stress of CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and the
various social, spiritual, creative, and financial tests it will put me through from this point
on, will most likely determine part of the outcome of the rest of my life, for the rest of my
life. If I pick up a sketchpad and am feeling too lazy or like Im not up to the job, Ill
now know where that feeling is coming from. Its coming from the clinically lazy demon

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inside of me. Ive got to cope with the amount of idle time (punishment, depression, and
stress time) that CFS has been putting me through, and all the artistic blockage its given
me as a result.
Fatigue
Stress
Energy - Work
Hoshin Time!

Why isnt the 600 page comic book done

The 600 page comic book isnt done because I never finished the work on it
Why did I never finish the work on it
I didnt finish the work on it because I didnt do any of the work
Why didnt I do any of the work on it
Because I dont have enough energy to do one page (let alone 600), and I find it
intimidating
Why do I not have any energy, and why do I find the work intimidating
Because of the stress and consequential fatigue that comes with everyday life
Why cant I handle the stress and fatigue that comes with my depression every
day? How will I deal with this?
Exercise by walking on treadmill. Take power naps. 3 meals a day. Energy drinks.
That and get most of my work done during middays.

Coping with chronic fatigue: Finally, I have something to blame my laziness and lack of
productivity on, other than my lack of motivation or talent.
Because of chronic fatigue: Im not finishing a lot of drawings and books that I start. And
because of fatigue, my main goal in life (writing-drawing a longer multi-volume work) is
not complete.
Just had some Red Bull. Seeing if that helps me gain some extra energy.
Shows Im watching on my computers:

Naruto Shippuden
W.I.T.C.H.
Oban Star-Racers

Red Bull seems to be working. Im not drawing yet. Though I AM thinking about
drawing in quite a detailed manner. Im picturing myself picking up a pen and taking out
a piece of paper and doing one of my usual ink doodles on it.

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How was I able to be so productive at the AiFL?

In a creative environment
Around people like me
Drank tons of Red Bull energy drinks all the time, every day (energy)
Manic (energy)

As this clearly proves, I am most productive when

Im in a creative atmosphere
Im on a manic emotional bender
Im a compulsive Red Bull / Monster-aholic

Energy Drinks help with:

Overcoming Fatigue
Drawing Energy
Writing Energy
Book reading
DVD watching

Ive had some energy stuff (power drinks, or energy drinks), and Im feeling very awake
currently. Well, sort of. But I did get a few good drawings of hands done in ink with a
pen.
.Well now. This almost feels like science-fiction, if I consider how much of a recovery
this feels like. All my energy came back. Got a couple years back on my life I guess.
But one has to wonder, how long will the power last? How long will this energy and
power-force last in my system? I was feeling helpless back there a little bit ago, and yet
here I am.
Power point:
Power Asset: My art. My writing hardly gets noticed at all compared to my art. Ive
never really figured out why this is. But whenever I do a new drawing nowadays, its
headline news and the talk of the town and all the hot buzz at that DA website,
even when the drawing Im doing is incredibly shitty. Some of it gets leaked, and some
doesnt. But all of it evokes dynamic reactions from the cyberworld. My art is a big deal
online. And a lot of it isnt even that good! Some see this fact, some dont. Ill never
figure out why and how that works.

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Honestly, I dont think I like success and fame and power. Those things just make you
lazy. I dont want to be lazy
It is way past time for me to give myself a deadline to meet
My comics visual development is actually turning out great. Much better than I
expected. It appears Im finally putting my money where my mouth is and just shutting
up, stop talking trash like everyone else, and just drawing, and treating drawing with the
same importance I place on hygiene and writing.
I actually dont hate Spongebob like I used to, which feels kind of odd. I actually dont
mind that show as much anymore. Its become like the new Pokemon for me. A positive
and innocent show that has won me over in the end. The good thing about Spongebob is
that the show always seems to show up on TV when theres nothing on any of the other
channels. I dont watch shows I dont like anymore. And I especially dont watch shows
that dont like me.
Something in my intuition informs me that I wont be considered such a villain 30 or 40
years from now. Eventually people will get tired and exhausted from insulting, mocking,
and misrepresenting me. The world will follow YouTubes example one day.
If America meditated and contemplated half as powerfully as the Far East does every day
by the masses, the Western World would be a better, more spiritually powerful place. It
would certainly be a less violent place.

Comparison:
Megatokyo and End Times
Megatokyo:
Mainstream comic
Pencils (no ink)
cute
Popular
Autobiographical
Leet Speak
Rabid fanbase
Lighthearted
Eastern
Tokyo

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End Times
Indie comic
Ink (no pencils)
Serious
Dramatic
Fantasy
English
Small fanbase
Dark
Western
Fantasy Land
My comic career as of late has kind of been a race against the death clock. Ive lately felt
that I need to get the basic and (if time is left) finalized idea down on paper and many
hundreds of pages of itbefore my time has cometo die. Ive sensed my work is
bigger than me. I did create an entire universe of locations and characters and cinema
after all. If I simply die off with an unfinished book, and leave my actual conceptual work
to developed by someone else, theres way too big of a chance theyd screw it
upespecially if they were close to me. My funeral I havent even bothered to think
about. Im too young for that sort of thing, but not too young to start planning my career.
Its amazing how egotistical some of these copycat losers are. I mean cmon. Its as
though each person, or in some cases, groups of people ripping off me and my life and
lifes work, on top of having no soul or originality, actually have the rudeness and nerve
to think, or should I say assume, that theyre the first people who have ever tried this
crime on me. They all each individually like to think theyre the first to do this sort of
thing, that they think this is the first time anyones ripped me off, like theyre idea to rip
me is so original. Even their crimes of plagiarism are unoriginal ones.

So far I have submitted my software idea to both IBM and Microsoft.

Even though theyre probably not interested, Ill keep brainstorming just in case. There
are probably many ways to use streaming video, Macromedia Flash, ripping, and DVD
authoring.
Im also doing all this submitting to huge billion dollar companies as an exercise to
overcome my former fear of having my submissions rejected by a smaller, less profitable
entertainment company. After all, they dont get much bigger than Microsoft and IBM.
Nice practice in the art of the pitch

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As the old saying goes, if you want a career in showbusiness, get used to rejection,
because you will be rejected again and again before people dont turn you away as much.

I dreamt I was being stalked and followed in close range by Adam De La Pena, the Im
With Busey guy. His ugly face kept showing up at each outdoor window I ran to. I
kept running away from him, but his face kept showing up in front of me through a
window whenever I look out the window of my house. He looked kind of like Jambi from
Pee Wees Playhouse, except he wasnt wearing a turbon and his face looked like it
usually does. His face appearing in my dream must be a symbolism for Viacom, Comedy
Central, and Nickelodeon. In my dream I was being stalked by an annoying talking head
that looked like either Adam de La Penaor Josh Peck. Some modern day cheeseballs
television guy. They showed up everywhere in my house I would go to, which was
always a window to look outside. And they kept begging, pestering, verbally harassing,
and annoying me through the window over and over, through some insane egomaniacal
conman impulse, actually having the audacity to want me to actually be part of their
horrible clown comedy or cartoon show, and I kept yelling at them to leave me the hell
alone and stop stalking me, but they didnt care about that. All they cared about was
getting me involved in their dumb comedy central shows somehow, so they could use me
for ratings. Horrible dream. I hate seeing clones and shadowy figures in my nightmares.

Anyway, Im actually getting pretty good at video-related software. DVD authoring,

DVD ripping, and nonlinear editing are all a part of my specialty. I love the idea of
creating content and Mix DVD(s). Thats what I prefer to call it now: Mix DVD, a term
inspired by the terms Mix Tape and Mix CD. I even typed in Mix DVD and honestly, I
found nothing on Google related to Mix DVDs Which is good news for me because the
term Mix DVD isnt taken.
Well, I do have options. From this point on, these are the only things I really want to do.
They all involve my talents and they all involve selling

Sell Screenplay for a film (kill fee, royalties)

Sell a concept for a TV Show (kill fee, royalties)
Finish writing and sell my Memoirs (kill fee, royalties)
Sell a comic book series to an indie or manga publisher (kill fee, royalties)
Sell an idea for engineered video software (kill fee, royalty)
Sell my technical skill and get a job as a webmaster or engineer (per hour/week)
Sell various pulp literature short stories to Weird Tales (pay per word)

Any job that is suited to my valuable talents and that pays royalties based on productivity
is a good job by my standard.
My secret weapon is Ginseng Green Herbal Tea. Nothing special in the medical world,
but a miracle worker in my private home domesticated life.

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Japanese pop cultureand anime and manga culture in general, from both the East and
the Westdont seem one tenth as excited about high fantasy and Post-Apocalyptic
fiction in cinema and literature as they do in things such as science fiction, heroic
bloodshed, action, and cyberpunk. Thats okay I guess, but theyre missing out on being
involved in some really amazing genre-based stuff. The only exceptions I can think of are
very few, such as Ragnarok, Karas, and Claymore. I think the nerd factor of high fantasy
and sword and sandal, if anything, tends to intimidate the Japanese in other directions,
like sci-fi. But if thats true, why are the Japanese so obsessed with cybernetics and
science fiction, when in a certain way those things are just as nerds, albeit far less
European in nature.

But enough about me. Its not about me. Im not famous enough for it to be about me. Its
never really been about me. That would be selfish. Its about Cartoon Network, and
anime, and comics, and animation production, and analysis of technology, and current
events, and pop culture. Im one of the last people it is about. In a way, Im just like all
the other 6 to 7 billion people in this overcrowded world. Just because Im more spied on
doesnt mean Im more famous. If I was really in charge, this world would not be a very
good place. I dont even know what this world would be like if I was in charge, but I
doubt it would be peaceful. I kind of am in charge of a small following of people who are
fans of my work, but I doubt any of them would care that much if anything happened to
me. Honestly, I have my doubts as to whether theyd even find out about it or not.

The potentially spiritual and social energy is quite real, particularly the one that travels
through technology wires and the internet. It moves around like a network and virus, just
like out of Otomos short film Stink Bomb, from the Memories DVD. The infections from
my aura function in a similar way. If I call attention to something in one of my public
statements, it directly effects that thing right away, whatever it is Ive talked about. Scary
but true. Its a little like playing God, except its not an instance of playing God on
purpose. It just kind of exists. But how do I get rid of it? How do I rid myself of this
spiritual virus and disease of contagion?

The economy is picking back up and getting back on its feet, thanks to Obama. Money in
this country has grown somehow, and as a result, so have my shares and stock options.
But only by a little, day by day, dollar by dollar, at least for now, the economy is
climbing back up to profitability.

A nervous artist produces nervous drawings. A solid stationary and stable artist
produces solid lines and drawings. Individual lines are just as important as the
whole picture. Some drawings take up to years to complete. Or sometimes they take just
weeks or months. Always know if youre ahead or behind of another artist. Competing
with the distant kings who are already established is entirely different than competing

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with direct peers and people closer to your level, who are either in person or on the
internet, but always merely slightly older or slightly younger in age. Spend many hours
studying and analyzing the line-marks and line quality of both allies and competition,
trying to figure how they created a certain line, and find out if I could do the same thing.
Its a good idea to really love certain lines in each of my good drawings.
I am not a Japanese artist. I am not an actual artist of color. I am but a mere white,
America artist.
Concealing your power level is a well known concept in anime and manga.
Speaking of power, Im starting to understand why I find anime and manga so
aesthetically appealing. It appeals to my spiritual nature and astrological nature. 20% (2)
of the 10 most influential manga-ka of all time in Japan were both Scorpios, Osamu
Tezuka and the creator of Naruto. They left a legacy of commercial, spiritual, artistic, and
visual power. Truly a wonder to behold. Scorpio values and anime art and culture go well
together, especially in terms of managing power. Like the mushroom cloud in Akira, and
the ocean of on screen explosions that have followed to this day since in Japanese
animation. Anime power represents the strength and density of my spiritual power. Its an
allegorical, metaphorical symbolism for my own power. Not attempting to brag,
butThe exact same statement goes for and applies to my INTP-Architect-mastermind
scientific wizard-esque power

Manifesto, the book I wrote the first draft of, is:

A Declarative Text, a Bible, a Declaration of Independence, Constitution, a Philosophy,
Handbook, a Guidebook, a Journal, a Value Statement, an Autobiography, a Memoir,
Analects, System, Political Matrix, a Users Manual, a Book, a Strategy Guide,
Rulebook, Blueprints, Instruction Manual, Empire Assembly Manual, Shamanic Text,
Spiritual Handbook, Book of Prophecies, Law, Organized Code, Credo
Manifesto is all those things to me, and more. For better or worse
Things to do when I get bored:

Edit my Manifesto (Manifesto)

Update website
Produce new art material (valuable) (Parallax)
Watch my ripped video collection (WITCH, Oban, Naruto)
Rip more DVDs from collection and Netflix

Once, when I was young, my brother Andrew was complaining about me. He was saying
I get treated like royalty and he gets treated like shit.

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Jeez. Editing a book will take a lot out of you. That and drawing cleanup artwork.
Apparently, my visual art style is important, and significant enough for other people to
copy it and want to copy from it. I guess my art can be like a creative fountain to some
people. Odd.
Some people ruin everything they touchdont they? I believe so. Just because someone
has might, doesnt make them right.
I have a problem. I have reached a dilemma. I love animation, comics, and the better side
of showbusiness and Hollywood. But I absolutely hate the politics of dealing with it. And
its tough to be involved in one without somehow being involved in the other, regardless
of which order they come in. What to do. What to do. I know this much about the secrets
of politics in media. If someone, or someONEs intentionally make a project intended to
slow you (i.e. competition) down, or take away or mock your power and strong points,
assassinate your character, or slander your name, in the hopes of building up their own,
no doubt about it, youre dealing with RAW PR politics.
Im starting to understand why people always focus on me over the rest of the crowd and
most of the competition. Its a status thing. Many gravitate to me over perceived preexisting status. I have a certain amount of status in my fields, something that makes
people follow me no matter what I do. Someone might be a better artist than me, but
because Im the more visible artist, the attention still goes to me for some reason. Im
beginning to wonder if Ill ever understand my own status.
I wonder when the next on-air ambush is going to happen. You just know its going to
happen. Sooner or later. People get power-mad and greedy. Someone is bound to snap
eventually, in terms of trying to steal my power.
Popular Asian speaking context:
The (inanimate noun object) is my (valued associate in human being form).
My gun is my ally
(After some strategic analysis, I have deduced that) Part of the reason my projects fail to
ever get off the ground. People are more powerful in numbers than individually. I do not
have an army. I dont have numbers. I dont even have any friends online, or off. I dont
have a community, be it spiritual, creative, entrepreneurial, or economical. Im NOT part
of a club, clan, or troupe. Im a mad scientist loner. Nothing I do will ever catch on unless
other people, unless someone else, takes it to heart and takes what I do seriously. Doesnt
really matter whether its someone important, fashionable, or corporate. As long as it
somebody. The internet and computers have allowed me to do too many things, on my
own, all by myself. I really need to partner up with someone. But I dont know how. I
always kind of figured most people detest me and cant stand me, hence me having no
friends or people to rely on. The only people I interact with on a consistent or semi-

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consistent basis would be my adoptive parents, one shrink, and an art teacher.
Somethings not right here. No one on the internet other than Lindsey is willing to help
me apparently, with perhaps the exception of a few.
No one ever achieved anything great in modern media alone. No sir. That includes me.
Even if you do something, the fans will ignore you in favor of flashier, more colorful
things.
I used to share Tim Berners-Lees give-freely philosophy. But that was before I began
giving too much to stay sane. My philosophy no longer places an emphasis on free, but
instead on dollars and making a profit, and marketing, and PR. And earning money. None
of this give it away for free shit. That kind of thinking is dangerous. If I were to continue
that way of thinking, Id die broke and no one would remember me, unlike Tim BernersLee and how they remember his story and always will. Avoided capitalizing on his
invention my ass. Well he capitalized on his fame just fine with the royalties his memoir
bought him. Hes not as selfless as the media makes him out to be. Either way, hes still
getting a check at the end of his life, Im not. Thats all I need to know.
I dont WANT to be selfless and egoless anymore. I dont even know if I ever chose
to be those things to begin with. Now theyre just a burden that infuriates me. Come,
steal from me, steal my shine. I dont mind! I wont sue you if your character looks just
like me, cuz Im a hero saint like that! Such utter bullshit we feed ourselves so we can
sleep easier at night when we rob others of their dreams, accomplishment, and ambitions,
and make it impossible for them to succeed while we leave them facedown in the shitty
muck. Being an engineer just isnt rewarding socially speaking. It doesnt serve a
pragmatic purpose. But it does make you wonder if God hates you.

This is so exciting! The animation streaming video technology, that I helped invent,
engineer, and create, is starting to catch on outside of the United States! Jetix is still
around in Europe, and they use it on their websites now, quite a bit. Streaming video of
animation online is starting to catch on in not only America, but the United Kingdom,
France, China, and Japan, among others. And not just on YouTube. I mean, in general.
Yes they all love YouTube. But theyve also taken to adapting YouTubes and my video
technology on their mainstream media websites. Jetix UK (Chaotic, Huntik, Magi
Nation, the French Totally Spies official site, the official Hong Kong Storm Riders
movie promotion site, and lots of foreign official Japan-based un-imported Japanese
anime sites all use streaming video! The very technology I helped design and engineer! I
did that! I engineered it so people are able to watch videos (in America and other places)
on another countrys website! Maybe without even knowing it! And surprisingly
enough all the titles mentioned here are international animation co-productions. Im
contributing to the business of worldwide TV and film co-productions! No longer am I
just a client. That is so awesome! Im good with cyber-media branding apparently,
especially with co-pros.

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What I am doing now, and what I will do in the next 5 years, now that Im actually
getting some attentionwill perhaps DEFINE the entire rest of my career. Im setting up
the archetype as I speak. So its very important that I do my best, work very hard, and put
a lot of care and concentration into what Im doing, and not screw the whole thing up.
Now is my chance to get NOTICED.

Secret information about my SECRETS. BIG, JUICY, SECRETS

I make my own DVDs by the bulk

I pitched one of my tech ideas to IBM and Microsoft
Im the reason theres anime and co-productions being broadcasted on YouTube.
Had to break copyright law to make it happen, but I made it happen.
Streaming video in WMV format is based on the technology I built on my PCs
I created Parallax
I have my own webcomic, printed comic,
I have my own published 2 Volume book series
Ive traded emails with Bill Gates and Steve Blum

But the question is not only how do I keep these secrets, but also, how can I motivate
myself to hoard them. How can I not be tempted to give away my secrets. Part of it is in
the whistleblower or secrets out allure. Im guessing Im assuming that somehow I
would be aggrandized if the public was aware of these powerful secrets on the same level
as I am. But, being egoless and selfless enough to not reveal powerful secrets not only
proves you are the bigger man, but it also reflects well on you for future generations.

Well, its official: Parallax, my online comic, is a big fat hit. The average indie comic
book sells around 1,000-2,000 copies. Parallax has an alarming 8,000 views and readers.
That means my comic series is a hit, without even being printed.
Honestly, even though I like the idea of drawing a hit comic, like Im already doing, I
HATE the idea of promoting my work in person. Because if you cross that line, suddenly
it becomes less about the work itself and more about hyping yourself and your own
fameby being in such a public place where everyone can see you. Such political
nonsense. There is a lot of pressure to make the rounds and promote yourself or your
work, in person. At a convention.

Best, Toughest Fighting/Shooting Cinema:

Early John Woo films

Early Yuen Wo-Ping films
Dragonball Z

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Yu Yu Hakusho
Tenjou Tenge
Cowboy Bebop
Samurai Champloo
Ghost in the Shell
Akira
Afro Samurai
Trinity Blood
Street Fighter
Naruto (Rock Lee, Naruto, others)

My favorite kind of genre movie is the genre-bending movie. Movies like Crouching
Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Kill Bill, and The Matrix.
I like pan-Asian works like Avatar and the live action Blood+ feature film.
Im also a big fan of genre-blending, much like what studios like Production I.G. and
author Michael Moorcock are able to bring to life.

Legend, Epic, Myth, Mythos, Mythology, Mythopoeia, Saga, Chronicles, Journey, Hero,
Archetype, World, Universe

Genre-Bending Pan-Asian
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Dragonball Evolution
The Forbidden Kingdom
The Legend of Chun Li
Yuen Wo-Ping
Blood The Last Vampire

The press has called my generation of webcomics creators innovative. Thats really
cool! But yes, I do consider Parallax to be a very innovative project, in terms of design
and concept.
And also, Ive now become a stronger, more powerful and established player than ever
before. That kind of thing tends to happen when you work your ass off, and make an
effort to do something no ones ever seen before.
But really, what is the higher meaning of all this? Its one word:

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Success.
Professionally, and in terms of public relations and my brand, Im more successful than I
was three or four years ago. Books are being published and articles are being written
about the two relatively new genres Ive chosen to work in: OEL manga and webcomics
Honestly, I doubt I can keep up with handling both reviewing anime for AnimeTV and
Parallax. I dont want to be a juggler. Im much better at just doing Parallax.
Maybe instead of cyberpunk, I could call my new science-fantasy genre cyberdark.
Recent Accomplishments:

Animation Magazine writes a positive article on webcomics

The streaming anime/co-pro online video market opens up in Japan/China,
France/UK
I learn about genre-bending pan-Asian cinema
Parallax has a audience more than 4-times the size of most indie comics in print
Ive quantified and pinpointed the oceanic, workaholic scope of Akiras power
and influence

I spoke to a patent attorney today and yesterday, and I even got a quote of how much I
could make as an inventor: $100,000,000,000 ($100 billion). In other words, I could be
right up there with Bill Gates.
My invention designs and concepts could turn me into a millionaire, or even a billionaire,
depending on how far it goes and how influential it is, and depending on who the buyer
of my patent is.
I dont know, suddenly I feel a bit more content. Probably because of all this talk of
money with legal type people. Suddenly I feel like I have nothing left to proveor at
least, a lot less.

No matter which way I look at it, Im looking at a potential ocean of power and money at
my disposal when I get older. Fame? I dont really know. Oddly enough, I cant really
picture myself being any more famous than Berners-Lee since I am an engineer, which
isnt the most glamorous of jobs. I also plan on keeping my head shaven, as I feel my
regular hairstyle attracts way too much attention.
Im Bill Gates meets Philo Farnsworth and Tim Berners-Lee.

3 most powerful Anime Techniques

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1. Akira intro Bomb Blast

2. Kamehameha Wave Blast
3. Rasengan Attack
I am highly systematic by nature. I thrive in orderly corporate atmospheres. My unique
individual skills include project management, administration, and anything to do with
organization. I am the would-be master of organizations. I work well with my hands and
have an innate understanding of structure, design, and rhythm. My highest potential is to
invent or create a plan that eases mankinds burdens.
I express myself best through spirituality
I feel a great need to transform the world with my visions. Im a light-worker whos good
at Reiki
I express myself best through building a better world.
22
They call me the Master Builder because I am capable of manifesting great changes in
the earthly plane. I do this through the construction of some kind of empire, whether it is
of a social, financial, or religious nature.
I am a master of manifestation, who knows how the power of a negative thought or image
can destroy potential. I fulfill my highest potential by bringing my ideals into every day
reality.
My power level has reached 52 mindshare and Googleshare points. This is entirely
going by my two most famous and powerful pseudonyms. I have at least 2 others, which I
am not counting here. But there I go bragging again. But how can you not brag when you
get that many positive mindshare points.
Its official. Im more successful than my all time greatest arch rival. Like, 10 or 20 times
more successful. And that couldnt make me happier. I beat him big time. Hell never be
able to hack me or stalk me ever again.

Things I am planning to watch on my TV, through my laptops hard drive:

Ripped DVD file folder
Naruto.com, streaming Naruto Shippuden
Netflix

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Youtube
Oban
Gundam Wing
Witch

I love the influence that Im given by harnessing my mad internet, broadcasting,

webcomic, and anime powers. I am the dominant Mastermind-Master of visual splendor,
and raw vast, epic, and virtuosic vision. I am to visual splendor and epic power what Bill
Gates is to money. I dont like to compare myself to Spielberg, but like Spielberg or
Tolkien, I have an epic and vast mythos of a vision to share, and I harness the power of
that universal vision through comics and anime. Anime power is visual power. Visual
energy. Explosions, dynamic and epic battles, cool fashion design, beams of light, smoke,
swords and guns. Symbols of power. It is the image of both chaos and perfection,
manifested simultaneously. That is the ultimate visionary vision of power. There is no
higher vision that is more epic then that of pioneering anime. Except perhaps cyberpunk
and high fantasy. Death and destruction, and incredible mind-blowing beauty. My power
is linked to and part of this anime power, due to how much I embraced it. This epic magic
trick and final illusion. Anime is one big magic trick. And to make it successful, one
needs secrets, strategy, and extensive planning for all the key power elements of the
vision. Its in the anime ninja handbook and instruction manual. Also, when harnessing
the manifestation of my inner influence, I am often the most burnt out shortly after I am
through being the most productive for a short time out of all my power hours. Shortly
after Ive released all my spiritual and mental energy through the act of putting branded
new archetypal-related ideas, visions, images, shapes, lines, and designs on paper, Ill
often lay down on my bed and rest for hours on end burning out my brain on bad TV,
post-productivity. Its just, using my visionary powers at their highest level drains me of
all my vitality and energy. By now Im used to it.

Whenever I invent, create, design, or engineer something a new archetype, invention,

mythos, prototype, model sheet, costume design, drawing technique, vision, Im always
skeptical of myself subconsciously for some reason, as if my subconscious mind is saying
I dont believe a person as bad as you could come up with something that good,
because every time Im being extremely innovative, its almost like I want to prove Im
not as innovative as I think I am on the surface. I end up constantly searching through my
book collection made by pros, and scouring the internet for signs of life from people who
got there first or beat me to it. Low and behold, no one has. The results really are that
useful and good.
This HTPC (using my television as a computer monitor) routine is going to change a few
things. Im glad I got there first (like usual). TV often sucks, and the internet is often too
weird and active, but when you combine the two you get the perfect combination!
Combining TVs and PCs is the way to go. Its like combining peanut butter and
chocolate. HTPC is the Reeses Pieces candy of home theatre and PC systems. Its just
that sweet. Im telling all my friends about this next time I see them, if theyre still

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around. This family room post-brother HTPC is spoiling me. Now Im almost becoming
more and more afraid to watch regular television and switch the TV to regular mode,
because I already know whatever I find there isnt going to be any good (regular TV).
Got a long way to go until Im at my creative apex. But Im starting to have more faith in
my abilities. Im less worried if my actual objective abilities will live up to my epic
expectations. They will, if I am patient, keep them a secret, and give them time to evolve
into their most mature state, some time around the 30 year old range.
Honestly, Im kind of getting tired of Toonami. Theyve had their time to shine. But
theyve moved on by now, for whatever reasons. Time to find some anime thats never
been played on television. Other than Claymore and Hong Kong action of course.
Well, if you cant turn to the anime king for your answers on how to sell big projects,
who CAN you turn to?

Back in 2005, I had completed around 400 pages of concept art pieces for Parallax.
By now, 2009 (midway), Ive drawn around another 300+ pieces in a similar amount of
time.
Thats a total of 700+ original conceptual art pieces for the world of Parallax. This is
getting exciting. I hope I reach 1,000 pages of art exclusively for my Parallax graphic
novel, eventually.
Out of the 300 new pieces Ive done, more than two thirds of them (200 pgs.) is actionrelated material and poses. In fact, I have more than enough material to draw a whole
mini or medium sized scene (5 to 20 pages) if I want, purely based on what Ive already
done and completed.
Even though I am prolific with fight scenes (apparently) despite lots of criticism implying
the contraryfrom competitionapparently Im on my way to being either the next Stan
Sakai or Dave Sim, or at least it seems like that. I didnt think I would generate 200 pages
of fighting and other violent imagery this fast. But also, I need to keep perspective,
foregrounds, and backgrounds in mind when Im illustrating fights, because seriously, a
lot of my compositions are Street Fighter Compositions, meaning its always a profile
with 2 characters, both standing on separate ends of the page from a sideways profile
view. Yes, I need to work on that.
Im prolific at drawingfighting, costume designs, production design, and cityscapes.
Its going to take a little while for my talents to develop and reach their apex power peek.
Ive kind of got to get used to waiting around doing nothing and drawing all the time, and
putting effort into my work. This is definitely different from how it was, from how things
were, in some way, but Id better get used to it. Otherwise Ill just get left behind like in
the past and I wont have a competitive advantage. This taking tens of years to finish

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one or two books is becoming more commonplace in my life. Im getting used to it, and
its not stressing me out if I dont work all the time. Afterall, during the last three and a
half years till now, (05 mid-09), lots of stuff happened on TV, on the web, and in the
news and mainstream media in general, but very little and few eventful things happened
in my life that stand out in my mind, other than the normal routines Ive always gone
through since 03-09.
Ive heard some say Life is an Art Form But is it true? Life is only an art form if things
happen during it.
I did an aura reading of myself today. It said Im Headed in the right direction.
I am kind of eager to get all the junk and clutter in my room picked up. I might even get
some new shelves in there, to help organize my viewing, notation, and reading material. I
wouldnt normally be this excited about cleaning my room, but Ive been reading this
article I printed out from online, that talks about the benefits of clearing the clutter in
your room. For one, stationary piles of clutter generate large amounts of stationary
energy that more often than not keeps you from getting things done. It also has been
known to strongly keep a person in the past, according to studies.

Will I ever run out of things to talk about and stop writing? retire, so to speak? Not
anytime soon probably. Some said I shouldnt do so much work for free and for other
people, others tried to use the information here against me on TV and in as public and as
in as humiliating a fasion as possible. And even others claim I dont have that much to
write about in my life thats so important a long time ago (brother). Stephen King
himself once said if you can write for free, you can write forever. That saying must
have sank into my brain way more than I realized, just like the saying Working in
animation means you never have to grow up. Both were enormously influential in my
career philosophy and work policy.
Thaumaturgy. Or miracle working, as some call it.
Supernatural abilities I suspect I have:

Precognition
Sensing evil
Empathic (clairsentience)
Aura Reading
Light-working
Thaumaturgy

Scorpios, INTPs, INFPs, and 11s in numerology) all know thaumaturgy good and well,
even if they dont know what that word means and are only going by intuition. I know a
miracle when I see it.

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Miracles:

The TV
The World Wide Web
Akira (anime and manga)
Osamu Tezuka
Alternative Rock
Progressive Metal and Progressive Rock
Toonami
Cartoon Network (early years and still at times now)
Albert Einstein
Bill Gates and Microsoft
Cerebus, Tolkien
Steve Blum
Conan
Star Wars
Hipira by Otomo
YouTube
The Renaissance
Picasso
Bruce Lee
The Shaw Bros
Yuen Woo Ping
Frank Miller
Quentin Tarantino
Ghost in the Shell
Co-Productions
IGPX
Dragonball Z

Yes, I do believe in miracles, but only when I witness them firsthand. And only when
they have a manifested and tangible formfor the most part.
Im stuck. I dont know what to do. I wonder if other people my age are like this,
uncertain of their futures. Plus, money never really solves all your problems. It just
makes life more complicated. Still, if my invention doesnt sell or get made, and if I
never finish a decent and professional creative work, does that mean Im gonna end up in
the poorhouse or facility or institution, or wherever people on welfare go?
God. I hate having no money. I hate being poor and on social security welfare. I hate
being so poor I might never have my own house, let alone palatial estate. I hate it.
There are a few things I wonder what will happen to after I die one day:

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My friends

My family

My ethnic categorization

Posteritys view of me

My place in history

My life story (what may or may not account for it)

It is very hard for me to sit still for too long, unless Im reading, watching, browsing, or
listening to something very amazing, awe-inspiring, and compelling, in which case I can
definitely sit or lie in place for a long time. But only if its really that compelling.
The new password for my email is ***ology1
Finally, Ive discovered a secret techniquefor transitioning from words to pictures
that works! They call it thumbnails. Ive always been aware of them, but havent actually
tried them until now. Thumbnails arent too challenging to do, and they fit my style of
quick sketching! Theyre great for turning scripts into pictures, and inventing new panels,
or perhaps I should say panel roughs. I feel like I could actually get at least a fewif not
manypages of comics done with this method. At the very least Ill have storyboards
and layouts for the first draft of the cleanups.

I definitely want to check out the Neo-Tokyo and Samurai Gun animes.

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Chapter 5
(Windows XP)

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Monday, August 24, 2009

Im not rebelling. But I dont really like talking to superficial people.

Uh, yeah. The dark anime black trenchcoat sci-fi fantasy look (Speed Grapher, Darker
Than Black), though I havent officially unleashed any official work of my own yet other
than my webcomic, the whole look is already starting to bore me. Just like Katsuhiro is
hard to contact and created the dome of light look from scratch in his manga and
anime, so too did I do the trenchcoat and katana / guns / dark anime look. So says the
prophecy of Katsuhiro.
Lately Ive gotten into studying the art of Francois Schuiten.

My drawingswhenever I upload them to my DA accountwhile the display numbers

are always low, the reactions of people all across the internet say otherwise. Its very
emotionally rewarding. But in fact, each of my drawings tend to get more media attention
(particularly in TV animation, film, and the internet) than 90% of whatever else is out
there. Im one of the only people who is revered on all three major sites (YouTube,
Adultswim.com, and DeviantART).
Despite great progress in my thumbnails, Im still struggling in generating material
for a decent comic book panel.
Well. Life has gotten in the way (Sometimes life just gets in the way).

So this is the thanks I get for bringing free anime video downloads to the internet?
A blacklisting of my name, condemnation from the professional anime and fan
community, and no respect from any of the otaku or fans, and a constant beating at the
hands of my local community and the media? This is how people treat someone of my
stature? Like I dont even deserve to be alive? Like everyone hates my guts? Like people
trying to cover my accomplishment up and refusing to acknowledge the fact that Im the
one who made something that important happen? In that case, how do I take my
accomplishment back? My only major invention and work of engineering so far has
utterly ruined my life. How can I go on living and entertaining others if I know good and
well that no one will ever acknowledge me directly for what I have done? I am not
enjoying this
I should probably admit, I am not a budgeting and production values expert. Many would
tell you I have NO sense of production values, and Im more used to working on the
lowest budget imaginable. Not even a shoestring budget. I work with NO budget. I

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consider it to be the ultimate test of artistic honor and craftsmanship, to see if I really am
the one man army I sometimes feel like I am, or if its all just hype. Sometimes I see that
area clearly, other times not so much.
I wonder what Ben 10 Alien Force Season 3 is going to be about, to say nothing of the
third series that is up and coming, and the upcoming Japanese Ben 10 manga as well.
I think Ill be fine in both my animation and comics careers. Master Otomo-Sensei
clearly sees potential in me, and that is all that matters to me. If the Master sees potential
in me the potential pupil, then that gives me all the confidence I need to do a job well
done. Lasseter has Miyazaki. Sean has Production IG. Lance has Gonzo. I have OtomoSensei.
I have found a fanart crutch, to help my creative wounds heal, and most of all to get me
back up on my feet: Tracing paper. What I dont know how to copy freehand, or dont
feel motivated to, or feel crippled by, psychological, whether its because of the layered
detailing, the bells and whistles, or the textures, or whatever it is thats stopping me, I can
trace onto tracing paper and eventually redo.
Im not worried about cheating. Inkers and clean up animators base their whole system
around creating drawings that theyre basically tracing off of pencillers and head
animators.
Tracing paper and thumbnail drawings, and combinations thereof are going to keep
me busy for a while now. Now that regular drawing is as hard and painful and
traumatic as it is Im doing the next best thing. And Ive got a million drawings in
my room, mostly from my book, DVD, and comic book collection, that I want to
trace. If I really do go through with copying this stuff it should last me a whileAt
least until the beginning of next year.
Comics, film, literature, and animation are so very cool, in the fact that you can invent an
entire world, name it, create maps for it, and basically rule over it like an omnipotent and
all powerful Brahman or deity, lord and master of that world, IF youre the one that
created it. Creating a world of my own is fun! Part of the reason I went that route is
because the world Ive grown up in has mostly scared, scarred, and rejected me, so I
escape to the one Ive created, where I have the ultimate might and power. Thats how
any mythopoeia works. I love the action in my mythical world. Its a dangerous looking
place with some really cool architecture. Right now it only exists publicly at my
Webcomics Nation account, as part of my Parallax franchise. Im falling in love with the
world and mythopoeia of Parallax, and the inner-mythos legendary archetype Mono
Jubei. Mono is like a friend to me. Hes really come to life lately. He is the WesternEastern Hero that I imagined, in my post-apocalyptic world, which is very much part
Wasteland.

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After using tracing paper for a little bit, Ive figured out why its important to use off and
on. Using tracing paper is another way of keeping the hand moving, which keeps
an artist in the drawing mentality and mindset. Drawing with pencil and tracing paper
over detailed and dynamic drawings is a great kinesthetic exercise. It builds up detail, line
texture/quality, and structural design muscles in your mind, arms, and hands. Tracing
paper is good for trace-sketch kinesthetic exercises.
BOOKMARK
I am growing fond of the title:
Full Parallax: The Legend of Mono Jubei

There are not just visually iconic, visual, imagery, and design archetypes in creative
narration. I completely forgot the story element, or at the very least I neglected the value
of my own thematic, plot, story, and content archetypes merely because it seems like fans
notice the visual element moreshame on me for falling for that. Story is just as good
and powerful as art in some ways, just in a different way.
How many kung-fu movies take place with science fantasy, and dark fantasy, themes,
with science-fiction influence? Thats right I was the first one. And if anyone comes out
at this point with similar concepts, thats a tell tail sign theyve ripped me off.
I need to practice more often. So far Ive only drawn a little bit of wuxia.
And I havent drawn any chambara poses and illustrations, let alone sequences.
Better get my ass in gear if I want to be the next Hiroaki Samura

Got some production design and panel layouts onto paper today, printed out some rough
scripts and drew some rough ink sketches, despite massive female opposition from
competition. Feeling a bit disoriented from lack of sleep and rest. Ive been working to
the point of where I feel massive pain in my stomach and limps just for sitting up and
trying to hit the board. But man did it hurt so good. It hurt to work that hard, but thats
probably not a bad thing. Like they say, No pain, no gain. And today gave me a LOT of
pain. I wonder if I even have any good karma anymore. I wonder if bad karma has taken
over my life, from just about everyone. Have I gone bad, or has the world gone evil?

Notes:

You have to work fairly quickly and consistently to get work as a comic book
artist.
Going at full speed the entire time

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Multi-page layouts (24 pages).

Get the artwork design down in the very beginning. Not just after the script is
done
Become a visual thinker (storyteller, visual narrator), not just an abstract one
(visionary)

I finished 8 small size thumbnail-esque comic book page layouts today, so far, for all of
or part of today. All during the Monday Ben 10 Alien Force Labor Day Marathon.
Mostly because I was bored and I wanted to stay active, out of fear of getting restless and
not doing anything. I also drew those pages shortly after reading the first part of Working
Methods: Comic Book Creators Detail Their Processes. I swore I wouldnt do any major
new work before the beginning of next year, but I made an exception this time. It seemed
easy enough to start that small, so I did it.

In comics, more lines = more detail, and more detail = more power
More pages = thicker book, and a thicker book = more power
Also, Violence is power. More action = more violence, and more violence = more power
So, three things equals More Visual Power:

More Detail
More Endurance-Length
More Violence-Action

I now have a total of about 20 pages of sequential artwork in rough form, some shrunken
down to thumbnails, some not so much. Either way I now have enough practice pages
that if I want, I can do a whole 20-pg. practice comic book issue, assuming I dont mind
cleaning it up or considering it non-narrative. But hey, I should look on the bright side. I
wouldnt call it a practice issue if Ive already finished this many concepts for pages.
Now, after that little exercise, I know I can get a good 50 to 150 to 270 pages out of my
workload by the end of next year. I cant wait till I get to my visual art experiments
attempting to synthesize notan, dynamics, wuxia, and chambara, all on paper! All in
cinematic form. I get to play Kurosawa for a few years. Hooray! Talk about
productive. Its all in three things when it comes to that: Anatomy, the costume, and the
poses. You start off with thumbnails and smaller panels, then enlarge them on sketchbook
or computer paper by hand.
Art is pain and suffering
Suffering and pain are art

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If youre anything like me, you live for the suffering that goes into creating some of ones
best work.
The truth is, there is truth in suffering. There is progress in suffering.
But there is no glamour in suffering.
Sometimes thats what it takes. Sometimes an artist has to suffer for his art. With no
suffering, there is often no art.
Some artists think art should all be only fun and pleasure. I am not one of those people. I
used to be. But I am not anymore
There is value in getting torn apart by haters and critics. Not on the surface, but in the
long haul.

Ive been productive since 2004. Ive done 1,000 pages of art in that time span. Give or
take the extra ones I did but my have buried away in my room somewhere accidentally.
But yes: 1,000 pages all generally related to the characters and world of Parallax.

How do you measure power and influence in the world of comics and animation? Im
pretty sure its measured by how big, massive, and at times impressive the horde of
imitators are. For instance AKIRA is such a book. And film for that matter. Both projects
are so cutting edge, they are without a doubt the definition of contemporary animation
and anime. AKIRA has more imitators than almost any other project in modern comics
and animation, be it manga or western comics, anime or animation. Katsuhiro Otomo is
the Brahman of it all, not counting Todd McFarlane (comic books) and Bruce Timm
(animation).
So what do I have to show for my efforts lately? Thats easy. Ive already said what I
have to show for my hard work: An 1,000 page book of sketches (sketchbook). It would
take at least half a year to scan all of those and bind them into any sort of self-published
book anthology. Perhaps After the book is finished, Then I can bind together some of the
pre-production work. For the most part, this property is a 1-man operation. I had a helper
at some point, an assistant, student protg or whatever one wants to call it, but that never
really worked out in terms of getting the kind of vision Ive been going for. But still, 2
people working for one person will often be more powerful than one, if both people have
talent. And we do.
Lets just say Ive got a lot of pen-and-ink mileage under my belt, and none of it was paid
for. I did it all for free. All 1,000 of it are speculative (or spec).
The best way I can think to describe the Scorpio art Ive seen from myself and other
people is: Simple and direct, yet forceful, innovative and influential-powerful. Scorpio

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artiststhe ones Ive seenare often cornerstone artists, and pioneers. Picasso, Tezuka,
Lindsey Cibos, Masashi Kishimoto. All artists. All Scorpios. All innovators.
With this artistic and creative power of both art and literature, over the years, my aim is
to merge the two forms of self expression, the two mediums, and not only invent a new
type of higher art that has not been seen before, anywhere, ever before me, but also to
build up a empire consisting of thousands of stacks of paper, containing literature and art.
The Sting exists in my creative work too. Mono destroys lots of bad guys, thugs, and evil
forces, often with a sword or gun(s). And his arm with swords or guns often actually sort
of represents a black scorpion tail. If we look at Monos body language in a symbolic
way, some could say his arms in general are deadly weapons in the world of New Earth.
Mostly that Sting is used on tyrants, terrorists, and Darkness Creatures, or Demons. A
blow from Mono, if it is physical is the deadliest form of attack an evil villain can feel.
Whether its getting impaled, beheaded, sliced in half, or losing a limb while one is still
alive. The destruction and violence just do not stop in Parallax.
Why do people consider me a good looking guy? Why are the ladies so attracted to me
when I show off from a distance, and sometimes, when Im walking down the street. The
way people react to my face, youd think I could become a male model, actor, leading
man, or rock band musician. I guess some people do indeed think I have that look to me.
That so-called sexy look. Me? I dont see it. And I never have. But because of how
people react to me in person and in the media, it makes it difficult to promote my
product. All people want me to promote is my face and likeness. Because that is often
what sells. Thats what gets instant hits on the websites. I dont get it.

My numeroscope says I literally flee from chaos and aggressive behavior.

It also says I tend to attract weaker people than myself. No wonder I get approached by
women and children so much on the web. And thats the truth.
Women, and children are in fact vulnerable and weak.

I finally found someone I know who will buy at least 1 of the DVDs (that I make) from
me. Im not sure how much they want to pay me for said DVD(s), but the DVD they
asked me to produce is already halfway done. Only 2 episodes to go.

In terms of my art, my concepts are good. But my follow-through is a bit weak.

Introduction to Asian pop culture:

Sailor Moon
Akira

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Ninja Scroll
Ghost in the Shell
The Last Unicorn
Manga anthologies
Akira Kurosawa

Im not really a misogynist. More like a man who is thankful he is a man, and not a lady.
Im just appreciative I have the power of raw male strength and masculinity on my side.

Shame on my poor soul. Ive forgotten about the pure joy of creating a wall of words, a
mountain made up of words, either written by hands or in the form of text in a literary
book or on a computer screen. Its the force field of verbosity, long-winded literature, and
delusions of grandeur, or megalomania, which, being diagnosed as paranoid
schizophrenic, I can in some ways relate to. Not in all ways though. I really should
check out that movie A Beautiful Mind and read the book too, both of which are about
John Forbes Nash Jr.
But as I was saying, I do get some recognition. Just not all of it, like the president, Bill
Gates, Ted Turner, or the Pope does.
The energies of the earth and universe as defined by physicsand the energies of the
spiritas defined by mysticsare one and the same. They are ubiquitously
interconnected and interdependent. Should pantheism come before physics, or should
physics come before pantheism?

I dont know. Im beginning to suspect most authors, such as Dave Sim, JRR Tolkien,
and Jeff Smith, who write epic sagas, either for comics or high fantasy, never had to deal
with CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). Which is reason enough to buy a few books on
the subject (fatigue). I used to think it was just procrastination, but I stopped
procrastinating about most of my self-assigned tasks a long time ago. Procrastination
isnt whats slowing me down anymore. The fatigue of the medication and my occasional
burnout is. For instance, for the last half of 2009, after the success of my 5 neo-noir
Mono covers that looked perfect to me, suddenly I felt massive burnout in terms of my
comics, webcomics, and art in general, even if I was (and still am) going to art lessons on
a near weekly basis.

Traffic and being in the city, in the car with loud noises, bright lights, large crowds,
disorient me and easily throw me off balance.

I am overdue for some recognition from my colleagues, the media, and the public.

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Sound Share Investments:

AAPL (Apple) ($100+)
TWC (Time Warner Cable) ($40)
IBM (IBM) ($100+)
GOOG (Google) ($400)
Not so good
TWX (Time Warner Inc.) ($20)
MSFT (Microsoft)

Good Jobs:
My invention
DVD Authoring & Manufacturing
Online Stock Trading
Adsense through video site web design
Comic Books
Google, Adult Swim, YouTube, DeviantArt. They all wont give me a single penny for
my efforts, just like all of their other users. Those sites are all so greedy. Ive contributed
so much content to their sites and have helped make their sites as popular they are, and
yet they still want to keep all the profits to themselves. What a rip off. They all want to
keep me in the dark about profit sharing. Fuck community spirit. Its better when
everyone gets paid. They only want people to THINK theyll go out of business if they
share profits online. Look at E-Trade. Theyre doing quite well for themselves, and guess
what. They share profits.

When one types in the terms streaming anime video into a Google search, ironically,
the Google search will pull up tons of sites right from the very first search result with
those exact words in the search titlebut nothing on the history, technology, science, or
business of the medium. Probably because of the copyright controversy.

Well, I do get unfairly singled out quite a bit by the public and other professionals and
institutions. Looking back, honestly, it doesnt bother me that much. If it did Im sure Id
say so. Speaking of which, they love to talk ABOUT me, but the truth is, on the internet,
no one is ever really there when I need someone the most. Internet people are the most
selfish and unreliable people Ive ever known.

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You know, it might just be me, but I feel like Danny Phantom and a few other cartoons
have what I consider to be some of the worst soundtracks and sound editing in the history
of animation. The Danny Phantom theme song and score for each episode sound are the
musical equivalent of farting. Ben 10 the first edition (not Alien Force, which I actually
sort of like) comes in second place, and SpongeBob and Fairly OddParents tie for third.
All these shows, to put it simply just sound bad. Ive never heard such bad sound
editing in an animated show. Its like they dont care that theyre entire shows sound bad
and look mediocre. What horrible-sounding shows. Their voice casts are pretty annoying
too. Chowder is up there as well, but at least Chowder has good jokes at times.

Other than anxiety and depression, fatigue makes it Very hard to deal with friends and
family. And very rarely do they ever actually seem caring or sympathetic to my stressful
situation.
They only seem to act up when I do, in a sad attempt to keep pace with me that fails
nearly every time its attempted. Hence leading to the conclusion that theyre more than a
little obsessed with imitating whatever it is they assume I stand for or represent, both the
good and the bad. So according to some my weird behavior puts me in the spotlight a
lot faster than my hard work does.

Ah hell no. I can NOT work with someone who has no clue who Quentin Tarantino and
Kevin Smith are. How could she not know who that is? How could anyone in my field
possibly be that unaware?

Even though I do mess around on the internet way too much, and at times, on a personal
level I can have too much free timeeven though I do work 24/7even though I feel as
though I have a lot of accomplishments I could brag and gloat about, one of the last
things I actually want to do nowadays is brag and gloat.
My amazing famous and celebrity colleagues positive perception of myself has triggered
something strong in me. His perceived cool balances out my perceived fool. Just about.
Obviously, hes been very supportive of me and my career, for as far as I can tell. His
opinions of me are an excellent antidote to the way the media unfairly singles me out at
time. Most people dont even know I know how to reach that guy. He makes such a good
and powerful ally! I just cant get over how perfect he is for the leading role in my action
story.
And with my introduction to someone elses fame, Im only more aware of the fact that
the sayings Youve made it and Youll never work in this town again, as vastly
different as they are, they still apply to Hollywood and show business in general today.
No one might say that out loud, but as long as the most powerful people in the industry
are thinking said sayings in their minds, the way I know they do from time to time, then

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the rules still stand. Even IF the internet, Google, and YouTube now function as the great
opinion equalizers.
But still, everyone keeps track of what I do. With that in mind, its hard to believe Im on
friendly and semi-private terms with one of the most powerful, gifted, popular, richest,
and successful people in both anime and animation. The guy who critics, fans, and
professionals have referred to as prolific, king, brilliant, and superstar. He
actually referred to me by my first name. That means something to me. Ive got a long
way to go till if and when I ever reach his level in my own field, but introducing myself
to such a person seems like more proof Im off to a good start. Every time I look at his
image, I realize just how much more work and time I have to go and put into my career,
to even get close to where hes at. Hes dug his share of ditches at the beginning. But
seriously, the fans seem to hang onto his every word as some say.

My success years period isnt going to start until another 4 or 5 years, because all the big
names have that in common, that their success years started when they werent young
anymore.

As much as I want it to succeed, there are numerous factors working against (NOT FOR)
the existence and establishment of an American anime or American manga industry,
despite the fact that there are a whole boatload of artists who clearly want to draw in the
manga-anime style, hanging out at places like Deviant Art and Tokyopop.
Theres a reason theres a whole dubbing industry of American (voice) actors taking an
active part in Japanese animation import and localization production, and things like
American anime and American manga dont have so much luck. Part of it is
nationality. The whole foreigner or gaijin aspect. Some people discriminate against
that element. Not all of it is discriminatory. Some of it is, but other criticisms are just
regular criticisms, mostly from American fanboys and fangirls with big mouths and even
bigger egos. Theres a whole publishing academic industry made by American con
men who produce useless books with no real connections to the real anime or manga
industries in Japan, of tutorial book American authors who basically cash in on gullible
artists who are desperate to break into anime and/or manga, but dont know how and have
nowhere to go to with their aspirations and abilities, so some of them turn to these books,
as opposed to turning to actual working anime industry talent.
There is a world of difference between artists working in anime and voice over artists
working in anime. Anime is not dubbed the same way American animation is dubbed.
With American animation, voice actors, for the most part, have more freedom to work in.
With Japanese anime dubs, voice actors must match their lines to individual frames and
sequences of animation, using less frames overall.

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American Anime:
IGPX (dub, co-pro)
Big O 2 (co-pro, probably no dub)
Franime (co-pro, dub)
Teen Titans (v.o., anime influenced)
Avatar: Last Airbender (v.o., anime influence)
GI Joe: Resolute (v.o., anime influence)
Digimon Data Squad (v.o., co-pro)
Afro Samurai (v.o., co-pro)

Well, I suppose Deviant Art isnt so bad. To this day, I still cant believe I actually have
Japanese and East Asian fanart of my Mono character. Generally when fans draw fanart,
if they do draw a rendition of your character, they wont tell you about it. Im starting to
understand why this is. Its not part of the national Japanese temperament to go up to you
and say yeah, thats what I did. Thats more what I do. Not the Japanese East Asians.
Also, like I was saying, I still cant believe I get to have my sucky-ass art compared and
likened to the actual artwork of real anime artists in Japan. Those guys (and girls
apparently) have always been gods to me. They are at the highest level and warrant
admiration and respect in terms of their abilities. Its not like the real world where there
are no Japanese living anywhere near me, and there are no people of East Asian descent
to speak with. Its different in the third dimension. At the same time, it is weird, because
many Japanese artists online definitely seem to resent their own popularity online, as well
as the fact that nearly every American they meet online equates their nationality with
animation. I can only wish I had it that well off.
There are no girls living anywhere near me. Thank god for that one. I hate girls. Give me
old people and guys with dead bodies buried in their beware of dog backyard any day.
No girls being on my part of the street makes me realize how glad I am that as far as off
the internet is concerned, theres no annoying and obnoxious girls living on my street.
Theyre annoying and persistent enough when it comes to the media. Seeing how
annoying they are on a screen just makes me glad Im not being force to live around any.
The way the media obsessively portrays these little girl and teen girl type figures on
channels like Disney Channel and MTV, youd think theyd be living in every
neighborhood. Wrong, not every neighborhood, not this one. Just every TV screen.
Theyre some of the most obnoxiously irritating kids on the planet. We should be so
lucky to see all the girls in this world die.
People I almost always see on the web or TV, who never live anywhere near me:

Asians
Girls
Criminals
Celebrities

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Creative people other than me

People who look anything like me

I tend to drink too much alcohol if the town bullies down the street harass me too much.
Alcohol is the one drink that makes those insane fucks tolerable, without having to want
to kill yourself just from listening to their horrible little voices. What a bunch of fucking
pricks. Worst neighbors in the country. Its hard to find neighbors worse than the ones
around here I dont know.

I know exactly what medical condition is stopping me from reaching my Final Goal (the
literary action narrative). Fatigue is stopping me. I just dont know what to do to cure
myself of it. The bipolar depression pills dont do anything whatsoever to prevent chronic
fatigue. And partial obesity contributes to its strength too. As long as my fatigue exists,
my ideal book (the comics) wont (exist). And as long as My Ideal Book doesnt exist,
the fatigue will continue to manifest, because it is equally the sum of my problems, and
the blocked path to my external realization. Thats really all I have to say for now

Ive learned some valuable things from looking back through some old high school
drawings of mine. Ive learned never call it quits, no matter how bad you think your
artwork is. The artwork I did in high school was for the most part, so ugly, unappealing,
and bad, that it makes the artwork I do now look downright good by comparison. Im
glad I stuck with it. God Ive improved. Ive improved so much. I never used to do
drawings as good as the ones Im doing now, even though a lot of people on the web say
what I do now sucks. But theyre people I dont know or care about, so I let it slide.

Comic Books and Burnout

I work harder now than I did when I was little. From the moment I started work on it
online, Parallax was a nonstop job. I analyzed, strategized, and updated my website (one
of those actions) every day, of each year, for the last 2 and a half or so years. No wonder
Im burnt out. As I read somewhere, when you work that hard, youre bound to suffer
from burnout sooner or later.
Analyzing the burnout; whats causing it?

Overwork.
Not being prepared to pace myself.
Working too much, 24/7, obsession
Not taking breaks
Fatigue
Creative burnout

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Depression
Not being acknowledged by the online community

At first I thought it was chronic fatigue, but then I realized what Im dealing with is more
likely to be artistic burnout mixed in with a healthy amount of stress, overwork, and
artistic burnout from working too hard on the projectthat mattersin the first place.
Ive waited for an opportunity like this to establish myself as a writer, character designer,
production designer, and creator, my whole life. And now that Im at the place Ive
always dreamt of being, its tending to be more stressful than I anticipated. I have a
migraine right now. I anticipated getting to this point. I was initially excited when I
fantasized about my career getting to this point, reaching over to the other side of
success, for instance, but now that Im where Ive always wanted to be, now that Ive met
and gotten on the good side of one of the American animation-anime industries top toon
player-auteurs, the initial excitement, of being near the top, has worn off.
Some things that happened:

My project didnt create as much public response as I hoped it would. Its

generated buzz and praise from industry people, but not open response.
I made my debut with a flurry of energy and creativity and innovation, just like I
hoped, but now I feel like Ive ran out of energy and inspiration. My energy and
inspiration are lacking.
Ive found that the amount of energy and time of dealing with and managing
Parallax and the fan response to it is more than I can handle.
I didnt plan ahead, and now I feel like Ive used up my resources and ended up
out of direction and creativity.
Ive lost some of my initial confidence upon actually doing in real life what I set
out to do to begin with, in the beginning all along. Its just not what I expected.
Now that I finally have a real audience, Im intimidated of doing anything, at least
in terms of my creative work. Suddenly my private sketches dont feel so private.

So I have heard creative burnout happens to every artist sooner or later. Im no exception.
This is probably normal, considering what level I am at. High creativity absorbes a lot of
energy. I have heard the best thing to do is just wait until patiently, until its gone. But it
is a battle, and it does make you feel very tired.
Too little energy, not enough time or creativity, too few good ideas, too much pressure,
and my family constantly acts like they need me.

Am I the only one that wishes that the three big cable animation networks (CN, Nick,
Disney) would make shows of recent times that were A) original, and B) Not always
poached from Marvel. Marvels good and all, but I dont want to see them become the
only non-anime action player in town.

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If its a comic or animation, and if its published, other artists will all copy from it. I
know Parallax is heavily copied from. Darker Than Black and Equilibrium, definitely
look derivative to me in certain ways. This doesnt upset me like I once did. I just take it
as a testament to my own popularity.
My fortune Cookie says:
Take facts with dignity
If I dont take the public and secret facts in my life with dignity, neither will anyone else.

It used to be that I originally just wanted to pitch the Mono project to a studio for a show.
But that fell through. Then I got stuck doing it as a comic. That failed as well. Then I got
stuck doing it as an indie-web comic, and Im really struggling with it. Im all burnt out
from constantly developing it over the last five or four years nonstop, obsessively. And
now everyone is on my back to continue doing just that. And to top that off, Im only just
starting to be able to make some of my drawings more detailed, while the rest look like
failed napkin doodles.
But then again, if I spend every waking moment trying to plan out my future moves
and designs, drawings, and compositions, all while doing no thumbnails and mini
sequential art pages along the way, then I most certainly will end up burning out, at least
temporarily

Note to self. Research MTV Comics digital series Invincible. Look up article.

You know that old Hollywood line? The one about aspiring talents just putting their stuff
out there in the media, and getting approached by producers or directors or studios or
companies that want to do projects with you because youre just such an amazingly
charismatic star talent? Thats a fantasy. A fucking lie. It never happens that way. And if
it is true, its probably not for anything big. No one bigger than me has ever approached
me to work with them, and Im borderline famous. Or infamous depending on how you
look at itI mean I get quoted, misquoted, and lampooned in the media without my
consent a lot by other people, but thats nothing to brag about of course. Actually it kind
of sucks.

Things I still need to work at:

Cities Architecture (Moebius, Otomo, Star Wars)
Fighting Action (Shaw, Yuen-Woo-Ping, John Woo, Jet Li, Chambara)
Panels Pages Storytelling (That new book I got featuring Mahfood)
Dialogue Headshots (anime DVDs)

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I really need to work on my storys Tough Guy Stance, Sword Swipes, and the Bruce Lee
Punches. As is made obvious, these all fall under the category of fighting and action
To paraphrase Muhammad Ali:
There are many things that have happened to me in the last 10 years or so, in my career as
a comics and animation creator, that have never happened to any creator, anywhere, ever
in the history of both comics and animation, manga or anime.
9-11, big brother W, The War on Terror, the internet, anime going pop, manga going
mainstream, Gary Busey, YouTube, the internet, Cartoon Network, Pixar, Tim Burton.

Here is a list of creator names, next to the main reason I admire them:
Dave Sim: Courage. Strength. Endurance.
Katsuhiro Otomo: Detail. Power Fantasy.
Todd McFarlane: Vision. Consistency.
Jhonen Vasquez: Creativity. Innovation

These free form, free association writing sessions are really great.
These writing sessions really function as a form of Zen meditation for me, or just regular
old meditation, except without consistent breathing. I am concentrating, and I am staying
focused on remaining in a trance (the writing process).
But the question is. How can I turn my drawing and sketching sessions into a meditation
sessions as well?

Well well! Im on the road to recovery! Looks like my creative burnout and dryspell
might just be over. Or so my sketch notes may indicate, cuz I have completed some
sketches. I just need to remember to not work so hard, take breaks and pace myself,
otherwise Ill revert right back to where I was and be at square one. Ground Zero.

While, yes, both my name and pseudonyms are on a lot of famous and not so famous
things: Veterinarians office posters, comic book credits and covers, YouTube Channels,
hardback books, websites, TV show credits, Google search results, the truth is you can
never entirely escape the real world just because your name is on famous things.

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I love this whole indie Empire of Stuff Ive built. I want nothing more than to live up to
my reputation and title of Master Builder (22), but also, Architect, Creator, and Designer.

There are two elements of my art I produce exceptionally well (IMO), with exceptional
ease.

My Notan Comic Book Covers and Illustrations

My Cityscapes

Lesser known elements of anime and manga:

Real Light
Camera Angles
Aspect Shots
Aspect to Aspect Transitions
Close-ups
Notan
Perspective
Timing
Planning, Strategy

God has blessed me with genius, but cursed me with unpopularity, due to my
eccentricities and the PR-media propaganda of powerful rivals.

9:15 p.m. Monday

I believe the media has put me on somebodys mind by now. Right now I FEEL like Im
everywhere. But Im not everywhere. Im right here. In my house. Weird feeling though.

I was expelled from, art school, shortly after being sent to a psychiatric ward for having
a nervous breakdown.
Ive been expelled from school twice. Once from public high school, and once from a
liberal arts school. Formal education in my world has always been such a horrible
experience.
A lot of shy people are really very humble. Im not exactly the same way as that though.
Honestly, my shyness is probably some defense mechanism to hide my unashamed pride,
egotism, egomania, and megalomania. It is not a character trait I can change. Its just the

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way God made meHandsome, cool, timid, meek (in person), and a firm believer in the
power of myself.

My webcomic and YouTube page give me a power, fame, and stature I have never
known before till this point. In general its a new feeling for me. Im starting to
understand why people want things like this so badly. Because power has more emotional
reward behind it than not having power.

There are 2 things I need to do to keep improving my style.

1. For the most part, simplify my visual style. Make it more exaggerated, stylish,
sleek, and cartoony.
2. Condense and reduce the length of my narration. Instead of aiming for an
impossible 600-800 pages, scale it back to 10200 pages, then go from there.
And while Im working on those adjustments, keep up the good work with the following:

Action and Fighting.

Cityscapes
Notan Covers
Panel Composition and Pacing: Storytelling

Favorite current artists/illustrators:

Thomas Romain
Kenji Kamiyama
Francois Schuiten (virtuoso art style)

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Chapter 6
(Windows XP)

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Friday, September 25, 2009

As of today, I will no longer be updating the visual work on my DA page. Ive become
more than a little fed up with the blatant plagiarism of my and others work there. From
now on the only place my artwork is going is into my personal non-digital collection, and
on my official website at WCN.

My greatest power so far, in terms of the influence on society and culture, would have to
be streaming anime video of virtually any anime, both licensed and non-licensed,
both dubbed and subtitled, local and international, mainstream and obscure,
blockbuster and bomb, and infinite variations and varieties thereof, available to
anyone with internet access, by millions of different people from all walks of life on
the internet. People around the world of all genders, ages, races, nationalities, and
professions can now watch anime on the internet, to put it quite simple. Im partially
responsible for that. Im responsible for inventing and engineering the technology
(uploading files with Adobe Flash Player uploads, which initially started off as
Quicktime files, only they were converted to Windows Media Player format) that made it
happen, and YouTube, due to their high accessibility and brand visibility (as well as their
non-monetary nature) helped popularize it. So I guess I have a very special and rare kind
of power.
My brand influence and salesmanship abilities, apparently, do not exist in the real
world. In the real world, without a computer at my disposal, I couldnt even sell a
cheeseburger to a starving man. This goes for books, comics, art, my work, anything
really. But on the internet, where face-time (which I hate) is not necessary or required
and basically nonexistent, for me at least, the skys the limit.
When Im just handed a bunch of somethingIve seen this happen time and time
againmy productivity plummets. But when I actually have to fight for something,
suddenly, then it matters.

Because of anime, and the internet in general, my influence is vast now. Incredibly vast.
Like, ubiquitous vast, when it comes to computers, anime, and world culture. Its like I
have a whole army at my disposal, a whole ocean of followers, admirers, hangers-on, and
fans, all obsessed with me, ready to fight and kill (the competition) for me, despite the
fact that theyve all never actually met me. Theyre awesome. I call them the 555 crowd.
And boy, do I like watching them devouring the competition. But then again, the
competition had it coming. We rule the world, and the night. Not you. If Im this
ubiquitously influential at the mere age of 25Who knows how influential Ill be at 50,
or posthumously? If you take the Butterfly Effect into account, my making streaming
anime possible to be used as widely as it has been, that almost kind of feels like the
Manhattan Project of media battlegrounds. But will it be as far reaching of an

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influence as Tezukas, Otomos, or Berners-Lees? I mean, technically Im not just

influencing what people see. My engineering work is influencing every facet of how
people watch anime online. Including making it possible to begin with, by my early
tinkering and importing-converting of video files from The Toonami Digital Arsenal
popular Toonami Video site to a DVD which I authored, and later to my YouTube
channel in the year 2005, where I was the first person ever to do such a thing. A
technique which spawned an ocean of people who copied the technique and applied it to
their own YouTube channels, along with Veoh and a handful of other pioneering sites
Theres no way to understate the importance, ingenuity, power, and innovation of
an achievement like that. Even if I never officially get credited for it, I still know I did
it, I still know the achievement is real. First, there were computers. Then there was the
internet and anime. Then there was internet anime video. Its like one giant hierarchy of
media influence. The influence of my engineering online (streaming Flash-based
anime) is spreading and growing at a rate of more than 200%, 24 hours a day, 7
days a week, in over 20 countries. In this regard, yes I am one of the media masters.
Now its more of a matter of not reaching the highest plateau, but has more to do with
retaining my title. However, by now Im almost certain Im one of the most powerful,
young, and successful modern media figures in the world. For that if for no other
reason.
Theres power in numbers, and Ive got, like 5 to 10 thousand people on my side.

There are people who are rich, but not powerful. There are people who are powerful but
not rich.
I am powerful, but Im not rich. Or famous for that matter.
I can produce faster drawings if I trace over certain parts of my characters anatomy and
just embellish and add things on to it. Kind of like how animators trace over certain parts
to make their characters move.

Im starting to see some real potential for innovation and originality shine through in my
character Mono Jubei. Hes not identical to any of his comic book forefathers:
Hes not wide enough to be Marv. Hes not skinny and rail thin enough to be Johnny the
Homicidal Maniac. Hes not superhero enough to be Batman. Hes not sci-fi enough to be
Neo. And hes too bleak to be Set Kaiba. Hes original. He is his own character. And the
black trenchcoat element of his look appears to be catching on. The badass longcoat
black trenchcoat anime look is becoming iconic actually.

Otomos Influence: Mushroom light dome; Angst; Layering; Hyper-Detailing; Cities

JMs Influence: Black Trenchcoat; Samurai; Elite Team; Demon Slayer; Apocalypse;

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Dual Wielding; Science Fantasy; Dark Fantasy

Now THIS is the kind of Scorpio Influence Im pretty sure Ive heard about.

The good news is, I met my daily drawing quota for today: 5-10 pages or more. And I did
just that. Actually, I went over the limit, but thats probably a good thing. If I learn to
stop at 5 to 10 drawings a day, give or take, I can become a master of pacing myself.
Whoa. Turns out the mystery artist who drew his own version of Mono in a really
detailed style titled Dark Man has a name I recently discovered. Hes an actual manhua
(Chinese comic books) artist and illustrator. His real name is Fung Chin Pang. His
comic is titled C.A.T. (Confidential Assassination Troop). It is the coolest thing in the
world!!!! Aside from me of course . Hes actually pretty well known in China. Just not
the United States. I know who he is though. Well, now I do anyway.
So far:

Blood Sword
Confidential Assassination Troop
Claws of Darkness
The Four Constables
Storm Riders

I will order them all, from either Amazon or Yes Asia. Whichever place sells them

Harry Potter and the Eerie Echoes of Queen Elaine Dr. by JK Strowling
Its my new novel Im working on.

Nowadays, I find myself attempting to play catch-up with the Chinese and Hong Kong,
almost as much as Im trying to play catch-up with Japan. Its a filmmaker-designer
thing.

Apophenia
Rainman (film)
Knowing (film)
A Beautiful Mind (film/book)
Numerology
Psychic
Autistic Savant
Aspergers Syndrome

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Indigo Skys theoretical influences (re-look up name)

Moebius

You know, part of me actually likes being hated, now that I know what it feels like. I
used to get so upset when I found out people hated me, mostly because I felt like I
wanted to be universally liked. But it took me a while to realize no one is universally
liked OR unloved. Every human being who has ever lived has been both liked and hated
by somebody, at some point, both the famous and obscure, both the best and worst of us.
Its part of being human. I wonder why they dont warn people about this fact in school
and on the job or growing up. I used to actually think it was possible to please everyone if
youre perfect enough. I believed that lie wholeheartedly. But now that Im older, I
suppose I know how it really is. Everybody eventually dies and faces the afterlife. No one
ever gets exactly what they want, even if theyre a billionaire. Life isnt fair, but it is
something to get used to. And no one is universally liked OR despised, no matter what
you do or say.
But Ive never really known whether Im truly a hero or villain. Im treated by others and
talked about like Im both. But is it possible to be both?

I can be classified as an artist-scientist, scientist-filmmaker, and artist-filmmaker. I

love science, art, and cinema, as well as narrative and literature.

My family never really taught me to think of myself as a scientist, or a filmmaker, for

that matter. I kind of had to figure that out on my own.

TV Animated Series
Animated Film
Website
Comic book franchise

Apparently, some people have caught on to my small little underground cult following in
the media. Is this what Jhonen went through? Or Kevin Smith? Well, Im sure it wasnt
exactly the same for them, but there are some similarities. Like the overwhelming word
of mouth on the web 2.0.
Brainstorming:

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Ways to make money OTHER THAN drawing comics and animation

Screenwriting
Comic book writer
Novelist
Web Design
Streaming Video
Selling My Time (Teaching, etc.)
Freelance DVD authoring
Illustrator

Supposedly my latest dream represents the fact that I have a whole nuclear explosion of
repressed anger, hatred, and rage for all the people who have been giving me shit. All
these insults from people, both locally, and in the mainstream and underground media,
make me mad as fuck.

Its now blatantly obvious to me that there are higher ups out there, some associated with
me, some not, who have chosen to make it their full time job to interfere with my goals.
Its their full time job to interfere with my life and work and see to it Im not paid in full
and never have real full time job. Now I say its time to repay the favor. Im going to
make sure they ultimately dont have it any better than I do, assuming I know whos
trying to thwart my attempts to make a living. And at times I do. As long as their intent is
to make it difficult for me, my intent is to turn that problem and negative energy right
back around on them.

True, I do consider myself a decent writer, but I have no real content. Well I do, but it is
very hectic, and constantly shifting. I need subject matter to write about. Content, in other
words. I need a cause, a philosophy, a reason for writing and rising from the grave and
abyss of murky depression and anger each morning and night, where the bleakness of the
pitch black night is the prevailing color. You can really only get away with writing a
book about nothing so many times before people hate you and shun you just that much
more. Maybe I could write an essay about streaming online digital video. Ask a lot of
questions about that, do some brainstorming, then write about it.

I actually like the graphic novel collections I own more because of their length, duration,
virtuosity, and general scale more than because I actually like the artwork. Afterall, I get
more out of looking at the collections stacked together on top of each other on the shelf
(their bigness, so to speak) than I do from actually reading them or browsing their
artwork. Its all about the size of the book. In all honesty, the bigger is the better, even if I

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never get around to reading it. Their density is hypnotic. Just the big picture of it all, of
the whole thing is endlessly impressive to me.

Notan
Notan is not a new concept. It is the concept of Yin and Yang, Light and Dark, Positive
and Negative, Masculine and Feminine, Full and Emptyamong other dual and polar
oppositesall applied to design and art, using the colors of black and white. But there
are other elements, including Radial and Bilateral Symmetry, as well as Axis Line(s).
Notan is also about balance, and symmetry, as well as finding the form within the form.
Its also a very geometric and ink friendly school of design. One name I like to refer to
it as is Silhouetted Geometry.
Soon it will be time to closely study the Notan pieces I have already done and finished.

Creative career
You are slow to action, but decisive and unrelenting once set in motion. You will
become a Force of nature, whose methods are as predictable and dependable as they
are unstoppable. The voice of duty, honor, and responsibility. You have the power to
change the world, not through bold action, but through the thorough and
unwavering application of proven means.

I know what its like to have influence over others, and I know what its like to be
influenced by others. I like to influence way more than I like being influenced. Some of it
is intentional influence. Some of it is accidental or unintentional influence.
Factors of Influence

Theres financial, selling influence.

Theres charismatic persona influence
There is creative, artistic, and stylistic influence
Theres also mental, psychological influence
Theres also the influence of utility (utilitarian influence)
Utilitarian and financial influence go hand in hand

In the beginning of my career, I wanted creative and financial selling influence.

What I ended up with at this point is utilitarian and psychological brand influence.
I did attain some creative influence, but not quite the kind I expected or hoped for.
Most of the latter kind has turned out to be quite superficial.

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Filmmakers, auteurs, authors, and artists all have a very heavy influence on society
unlike many others. But even they do not have the forceful and more direct
influence-power (political power) that people like politicians, journalists, and
marketers have. Their influence can be felt more directly. I mean just look at the
news, the minute a certain location of scandal or controversy is shown on camera, if
the location is consistently covered, based solely on directions they download from
the internet, crazy and gullible media-influenced people will show up to that very
location almost instantaneously, seemingly unaware that theyve been influenced at
all.
Honestly, I dont know why anyone would really give a shit about me or my fate.
Whether I succeed or fail. Live or die. Thats not really their problem. Or burden. It is
mine and mine alone. Not anyone elses. If I die it doesnt matter. Not in my opinion. Id
be surprised if anyone mourned my death. Other than maybe my friends and family. I just
dont care about myself like I used to. People wouldnt even notice if I was gone, Id bet.

The amount of demasculation that has gone on in the last ten or fifteen years is certainly
enough to sicken the common full grown man, whether hes Hemingway or Dave Sim.
Everything is getting demasculated: TV, movies, mainstream media, celebrity, fashion,
cartoons, anime (mostly through the process of toning down the violence, and adding
more femininity). Violence & Fictionalized Destruction = Masculinity. There are no two
ways about it. And nowadays and also well into the future, guys will always need an
outlet to express their non-feminized ways and true testosterone and machismo. Modern
culture, particularly in America, is not doing it. Japanese society, though highly
respected, and though it has produced some truly stunning works of masculinitywith
classic franchises like Ghost in the Shell, Gundam, Cowboy Bebop, Ninja Scroll, Naruto,
Dragonball Z, and Akira, all very masculine in nature for much of themin terms of
their in person culture, Japan has always emphasized femininity and demasculation from
the very beginning. America has never just dived into that pro-feminist way of thinking.
It was a slow learner to embrace a more sensitive culture, and still is to this day. China
has always been a step up from Japan in terms of how it resembles America and in terms
of how it embraces masculinity, and if that embrace of the male mentality resembles
Americas in any way, what with such very masculine heroes as Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan,
Shaw Brothers movies, and Jet Li. Not to mention directors like John Woo and Yuen
Woo-Ping. School in almost any aggressive first world country can quickly become a
warzone for bullying. That is not what I am discussing here. Thats not real masculinity.
Its just immature domination issues. Theres no honor in such ways of growing up. The
fact that that type of youthful male aggression in the real world is so shameful is part of
why violence in underground pop culture has manifested in places we didnt used to
expect it to show up. Like the wise martial arts of the Far East, the Shaolin Monks of
China, and anime and manga action, or more specifically, Seinen and Shonen, and other
such male-oriented genres.

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As much as I wasnt sure about Funimation in the beginning, Ive really warmed up to
them. Ive finally noticed that they actually know how to make damn good boxed set
DVDs, which is all the rage in my recent shopping spree. I am a boxed set-aholic. Id
buy a million box set series if I could, just so I could say I had that many. But yeah, I
eventually plan on buying everything Funimation releases on DVD, particularly their
OVAs and boxed sets of their TV series. Them, Viz, Bandai, and Tokyopop. Those seem
to be the three or four main players in the DVD variety pack game. Funimations come a
long (very long!) way from just doing DBZ and Yu Yu Hakusho, not that I dont like
those series too. I very much do.

Well, its official. Im on my way to producing enough material to have something to

show on my site in early 2010 well into that (next) year. As long as I get some
momentum going this year, mini-comics and short stories asidewhich might still be
relatively challenging2010, should be considerably easier than 2008 and 2009, in terms
of the ease with which I can upload webcomics.
Strategy Session:
Mini Comics and Short Stories
Solution: Thumbnails, Burnout notes, rough scripts. Development over time.
Im also going to reverse engineer some of my favorite comic books using my analytical
thought process, and figure out the pacing and how to make thumbnail sketches of the
whole thing, to give my own pages a much more mechanical feel.

A new M.O. is manifesting and emerging on the criminal forensics scene. Serial killer
and serial rapists look-alikes. And serial killer, serial rapist look-alike mugshots.
Mugshots of alleged serial killers and rapists place in the news media designed by
masterminds to intentionally look like innocent people, in an attempt to frame them.

Success Story

YouTube is now currently seen by 1 billion people around the world per day
Google is used in more than 100 languages/countries
Ive worked with AnimeTV, Bang Zoom Entertainment, and Steve Blum in the
past
Google is the Worlds Biggest Media Company, Its founders worth 10s of
billions of dollars
The reason Google never advertises traditionally is because of positive testimony
and word of mouth from people like me.
I am considered too innovative to monetizeyet

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Google is The greatest media, business, and technology success story of our age

But the question is, Im worth money. Lots of money. How in the world will I ever be
able to monetize my mindshare, innovation, creativity, influence, and hard work (if
ever)? And which is more likely to be monetized? My technology/innovation half, or my
showbiz/entertainment half? Or both?
My web real estateas they say in the tech industryis not as profitable as my actual
raw innovation and influence on culture and society, which partially explains why to this
day I still dont make that much money.
My Greatest Web Real Estate:
My YouTube Channel
My Webcomics Homepage
They are the things that are most tangible created by me
Its the new big thing in HR and PR marketing to make sure youre biggest advocates and
PR workersmany of whom are only paid emotionallyare the ones who give you
business and sales, and no one else. The people that pay your bills (the fans, people who
pay) are the same people who promote and advocate you.
Every big media company does that: Adult Swim, Jhonen Vasquez, Funimation,
Tokyopop, Bandai, Toonami, Cartoon Network, DeviantART, Amazon, Google,
YouTube, Steve Blum. For the most part, they only target the fans they already have in
terms of who they choose to advocate their product. Fans make the best PR workers.
Thats for sure. Their motto seems to be why bother even reaching out to new clients for
your brand when you dont even have to? Every phrase of praise from fans and the media
is an advertisement for something.
Web real estate is determined by web traffic / net ratings, and how many people actually
see the individual webpage.
No, I am not re-inventing the wheel. I am re-inventing home electronics, one design and
prototype sketch at a time.
I need to realize that just because Im not on the public radar anymore does not mean I
can stop working hard on good material for then next time I re-appear, even if it is far
away. Doesnt matter, I need to keep myself busy, otherwise the slow pace Im working
at now will leave me unprepared to return to the similar, and fast-paced schedule I was at
less than two months ago.

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So Ive recently discovered a secret technique, kind of hidden like the Law of Attraction,
only different. They call it remote viewing. Supposedly you can see into the future if
you do enough random writing, drawing, and note taking. The government was using it
for a while there, with psychic spies. Ill have to look into this.

The good thing about being successful in the media, is that, due to how much other
people praise you, whether its in a book or on TV, or an award by a committee, media
praise can make almost any kind of bold proclamations I make about myselfor that I
have mad in the pastseem all the more justified. In other words, if I have enough
people behind me, backing me and my career up, my bragging and arrogance is no longer
bragging and arrogance. Its self-realization and truth telling. So instead of people
calling me arrogant and deranged, most just admit that all Im doing is acknowledging
my superior work quality and talents, which are made of pure genius and power. In other
words, if I do in fact end up succeeding just like I thought I would from the very
beginning, I wont appear egotistical, arrogant, smug, condescending, or
megalomaniacal. At the most, Ill appear confident. I mean with all the other arrogance
and egotism of the other lesser mortals surrounding me, my confidence doesnt look so
unjustified anymore. The more other people praise you, the less that means you will feel
you need self-praise.

If I were actually paid for my 260,000 views worth of productivity on you Tube. If I were
paid 60% of that, Id already have earned $160,000 in personal royalty profits by now.

Wow. Im now officially a 1-person media company according to YouTube and an

article about the site.
Bad things often happen when Im force to force myself, or Im just naturally motivated
to force myself to do stuff I dont, friggin, wanna do.
I get quite a charge and thrill through expressing myself in comic book pages. It is sort of
a silent language for me. Im on my 20th page of sequential art. For me, comic books are
an opportunity (once again) to think on the page. I used to be so restricted when I
attempted to draw comics pages, and as a result, mine looked stiff and lifeless. But now
Im loosening up a bit. I started off drawing rough versions of my favorite comics titles,
my own versions of them, their pages, on gridded computer printer paper, and did a lot of
my sketching with ink and writing pens. Surprisingly even though theyre sloppy, theyre
actually pretty dynamic and have a certain appeal to them. Personally, I like them, and if
I have the energy Ill clean as many of them up as I can. The cool thing about gridded
paper is it encompasses and is well suited to any panel proportion, direction, or size. The
panels are often not defined until the drawings in the thumbnail boxes are.
I got 10 original layouts for sequential art pages done today. Awesome. Very little of my
material has been tainted by the stank of the internet yet, somehow.

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Ideas: Software ideas, internet software ideas, home electronics ideas.

There are a few places Im thinking about moving to:
Ft. Lauderdale, D.C., Los Angeles, Colorado, Michigan

The worlds and lives on my TV are infinitely inferior to and less fascinating than what
arises out of the story of my own life and creative mind. TV nowadays is nothing but
filler. Its unwatchable. At least my own life and the world of my imagination are
tolerable. Its like theres an anime world going on 24/7 in my own private life. Life
should be an adventure. And fortunately, my own life is. Its hardly ever boring.
Nowadays, a blank computer screen / printer page IS my TV show. I broadcast the
concepts that come remotely viewed from my mind, straight onto the blank canvas of
printer paper, much like a Renaissance painter. This is the genius of my creative life. And
I put the tail end finished result on my website(s), be it an ink or pencil drawing, a
comment, a poem, a music video, a megamix film, or an essay. As long as it looks
polished its fair game. And 2010 is looking to be an exciting year for me, considering
Im already starting to gather material for it, which I have partially already laid out for
myself.

Im an adult all right. But. Am I a bad uncle? I have a 4 year old nephew, Anthony, who
is over hear all the time. Well, at least he was at one point, before Andrew and Jinnels
divorce and unofficial custody fight. Am I a bad person? I hardly ever play with my sonlike nephew, Anthony. I wish there were more ways for me to help him. His emotionally
unstable parents and environment(s) are making HIM emotionally unstable as a result.
Its just now that I think about this when I realize: this is not a normal situation. Anthony
was an unplanned birth, kind of like I was, except his situation is worse. At least I had a
normal childhood before things got all messed up and invasive. He doesnt even have
that.
As a media figure, I talk to dozens of random people a week, and the vast majority of the
time the only people I know of who always somehow manage to turn the conversation
into an accusatory and invasive argument where Im always wrong, are my adoptive
parents. They always act like theyre wasting theyre time when I try to talk to them, like
Im such a nuisance for just wanting to discuss my career with them. All they ever want
to do is dope me up with anti-pschotic drugs and peddle me off to Winter Park and
Orlando for forced therapy sessions and (unnecessary) art lessons, where I am forced to
endure the stress of traffic jams on a weekly basis. Its a huge inconvenience.
Cary (my adoptive father) just accidentally deleted and destroyed a lot of my best
digital artwork. And the scanner to my laptop doesnt work, so I have nowhere to rescan
it to.

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When it comes to influence, you never really know what other artists and writers and the
fans will pick up on, that you do. Things that start off being unintentional but still well
known end up getting consciously imitated by people of the same style.
When it comes to culture, humankind, human society, when society judges its icons and
celebrities, and mythology, as soon as theyre done seeing the details, they almost always
look to the ideals, the ideas and concept behind the mythological forms. People fall in
love with ideals.
Im actually quite lucky. Im talented in a lot of different areas. I have a genius for many
things, not just one. Im very much a polymath renaissance man. And because of that my
transitioning between recreational trades, I predict, will actually be able to sustain me
spiritually and creatively until I find gainful employment in one or more of the areas I
have talent in. Im good at almost 10 different fields and trades, if not more. Its merely a
matter of time until I break through in one of them financially: everything from web
design to costume design to poetry and video editing. But one of my main areas of
expertise is being a writer. And an author.
FCP, author of Confidential Assassination Troop, is like an Art God to me. He, Bardon,
and TakaruONE are the most talented Deviants on DA in my opinion. Ive got nothing
but love for their work and them. They have a very professional aura to them, and have a
more detailed style than I might ever have.
I have many favorite manga, but the number of Manhua or Chinese Manga that I
really like, as well as Manwha, or Korean Manga, is growing as well.
Theres Priest, of course. Everybody likes Priest. I like the artist Josevs dark and
macabre action work on Claws of Darkness. And I love FCPs creator-owned CAT
manga, along with the Street Fighter motion comic I saw on Sci-Fi Ani-Mondays 2 to 3
weeks back. The quality of non-Japanese manga is evolving and improving.
Making good comics is by no means an easy task or job. Its backbreaking work, if
youre any good at what you do. Thats kind of the secret anyway. Hard work = quality.
The more hours, days, and years that are put into a project, the more epic and timeless it
becomes.

I know that the mainstream media television shows tend to like to do a lot of mudslinging
at me and my associates. But seriously, they can only kid themselves about reality for so
long. Because at the end of the day, if you only take into account creative vision. Whos
vision/show do people and the most talented and creative ones nearly always want to
work on? Ours or theirs? Who makes more money? Us or them? [yeah, we thought so]

11

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At any rate, others will perceive you as being very wise and seek out your counsel.
Although money may not matter much to you, you will try to raise it as you see riches as
being a manifestation of good energy. There is also likely to be some travel and difficulty
settling down as you seek to place yourself in the world where your help is needed most.
22
You are a role model for others. With your personal power and riches comes a
responsibility to society and it is very possible that the livelihoods of many people may
depend on what choices you make. You are very wise, judicial and kind and many
will call you an exemplary human being. It is also very likely that you will be famous for
making some kind of mark on society.

This is what my numeroscope life cycle reading said will happen to me when I reach the
age of 40+. And you know what. I dont doubt its accuracy one bit. I will leave a huge
mark on society, people will seek me out, and people ARE going to depend on me to
maintain their well being, like it or not.
I need to Beware of midday restlessness. All I ever do is fiddle about if I try too hard.
Especially if its one of my unlucky days.

My newest hobby has struck me like a lightning bolt. I now am in the pursuit of
educating myself in the technology arts and becoming a mecha designer, modeled after
Japanese artists. Oliver-E: Quantum Sorcerer is basically an animation or comic book
vehicle for everything I wasnt able to get around to doing and working into my stories
with Mono and Parallax. Oliver-E can best be described and pitched as the following
tagline: Its Gundam Wing meets Steamboy and Harry Potter. Its people using giant
robots in the past, in an alternate universe instead of in the future. There are giant mecha
pilots who also function as scientists and technologists. The mecha in my universe do not
run on oil, gasoline, or electricity. The power that fuels them is Quantum, their power
source. Quantum is a mystical, secret power source and energy that gets harnessed much
in the same way electricity does in the modern era. Im doing a Star Wars-like timeline,
with the whole A Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far, Far AwayWith Mecha!

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New drawing artist term. Nanodetailing (nano referring to something tiny, or very small
as to be undetectable). Then theres the old one: Bells and whistles.
I know what I want for my birthday. Dragon Age: Origins by Bioware.
Upon further investigation, theres got to be a reason why everybody talks about me, but
no one in the media refers to me by my real name. Either theres something very
advantageous, or very disadvantageous about being name-dropped. Brian my stalker was
one of the only people to do it, but he meant it in a negative way. He would never say my
name publicly in a positive way.
New horoscope arrived today, talking about dreams and ambitions:
Take some time to pat yourself on the back today. Look how far you've come in reaching
your career goals. Many of your old dreams have become your reality -- good for you!
Now, it's time to think up some new objectives to conquer.
Lets see, Theres:

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Meeting my creative and career heroes (mostly), not to mention the power players
Working with professionals on a creative project or projects
Getting my own comic book
Getting famous and powerful
Influencing TV
Kissed a girl
Get paychecks in the mail
Invent something
Design a badass anime / video game hero

Time to think of some new objectives.

A lot of people from DeviantART seem to enjoy spying on my computer, mostly through
hacking, if not word of mouth from their online friends. They may or may not know Im
aware of who they are and what they want, but I do.

There is a massive amount of power in two things: A) Written words. And B) Good art
Other than that, I have power over a few other main elements:

Technology-Media Power (TV, Internet, Engineering, Streaming Video)

Spiritual Power (Third Eye Open, Ethical, Mystical Insights, Wisdom, Psychic)
Creative power (Visionary, Detail, Design, Organic Structure)
Intellectual power (Genius, Invention, Linguistic, Engineering, Analytical
Strategic)

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Chapter 7
(Windows XP)

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October 30th, 2009,

Part of my problem is I do in fact take the sayings You can do the impossible, you can
do anything you set your mind to, anything is possible literally. No kidding. I believe all
three of those sayings apply to me, and that sense of conviction has actually helped me
reach the impossible every once in a whilein my mind at least.

I do consider myself to be a bit of a modern day healer and shaman, at least according my
MBTI Test. I believe a higher power-force exists in this universe, and this planet that
makes all sorts of great, epic miracles happen. But the thing is, power is power for a
reason. But the thing is, your average human being is not in control, theyre merely
spiritual sheep and puppets in the big picture and in the Higher Forces eyes. Youre
average person doesnt have spiritual powers. They merely follow the forces that compel
them. They can barely even escape the influence of the modern media. It takes a special
kind of person (not just me) to communicate with and tap into those forces. Some can
even control them, Im pretty certain. Not me though. I can communicate and harness
them, but Im not entirely in control of them. I just sense them and communicate with
them in certain ways, like with astral projection, Transcendental Meditation,
lightworking, and healing. These have the potential for bringing the world Balance and
Peace.
Whether its lust or the desire for fame and power, Im sick of going through life as a
slave completely controlled and manipulated by my fears, desires and urges. I want True
Strength. True Power. Spiritual Strength. Spiritual Power. I would meditate intensely,
alone, for a whole day, in isolation, if I could and knew I was able to. And I wouldnt
brag to anyone about it if I DID get that far in my meditation practice.
I published my book of essays today: The Essays: A Collection by J.M. Strebler. Thats
my latest, newest release in the world of online and offline self-publishing. The book is a
paperback. It costs $4-$5 per copy.

In 16 days, Im turning 26. Thats OLD. Well, for me anyway. Thats close to being
a geezer, and yet even closer to 30. Thats more than halfway to 50.
From now on, every time I believe or feel Im right, Im going to look for a betting
opportunity.

I know one thing. My biggest enemies will pay. I know exactly what theyre hoping to
get from me as well. Theyre hoping Ill write one long tirade on the world wide web
about their pathetic excuse for competition, which would draw all this attention to
them, their company, or whatever it is theyre trying to promote shamelessly, and get all

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this extra power that goes with one of my negative opinions. Like I havent thought that
far ahead. I really dont think thats going to happen. Not if I have anything to say about
it.

I have just recently discovered the concept of negative spiritual energy. If a persons
psychological and spiritual nature doesnt feed off of positive spiritual energy, it feeds off
of negative spiritual energy. Basically anyone whos taken a massive pummeling, verbal
tongue lashing, and beatdown from me and got their ass kicked by me spiritually, yet still
acted unaffected by it is driven by that negative spiritual energy. Negative energy never
stops other more powerful negative energy if its applied directly to the more powerful
negative energy. Because evil functions like an energy vampire. It feeds off other
negative people, words, places, and situations: Basically anyone whos a bully in some
way, shape, or form. You name it. Negative energy is power. They all feed off of that
power. I can sense it in them. A very negative power. They dont call me psychic
because Im a total dumbass. Some people dont feed off holiness and positive energy the
way they feed off of evil, amorality, deception, manipulation, and negative energy. They
want the power of more powerful people and things like me and what I stand for, and
they seek to attain it in the easiest way possible: By attempting to drag me down to their
level.

Ive now authored 5 books. Im a bit happy with that. Its not something everyone else
can claim fortunately for me.

Whether we know it or not, we are reborn every 7 years or so during our lifetime. I dont
know who dreamt up that theory, but its very true. So, that would mean my next spiritual
growth spurt will occur in 2011. Im 25 going on 26 now.

You cannot finish 100 or 50 comic book pages until you finish 1 comic book page.
To draw 50 pages you need to draw 1 page.

Im overworked and underpaid.

Finishing my Essays Book = Creative Burnout = Artists Block, Fatigue, and General
Exhaustion = No new work on website or comic.
Burnout fatigue is what I have. Burnout fatigue is often a very scary feeling, due to
how helpless it makes me feel.
My Third Eye opened a few years ago. And I havent been the same sense.

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Apparently the unspoken rule in TV broadcasting is that, if one channel is winning in

the ratings, every other channel has to lose. And the same goes for the rest of you
Thats a very Japanese success philosophy. You can only have one winner doing one
kind of thing exclusively? Otherwise it confuses the market? Thats the stupidest thing
Ive ever heard.

The most powerful energy points in my body are my eyes, brain, pelvic area, colon, and
hands.
Song titles:
Atonement
From Here to Jerusalem
Suffering Never Ends
Hard to Find

Ive been able to sense it for a while now. Something is spiritually and/or
strategically off about my drawing processOther than Talk is Cheap. Get over
your burnout and Just Do It. The main problem Ive been dealing with is that in
terms of my dedication, sure the sense of entitlement, duty, and obligation are there.
But theres something missing. Passion, pleasure, and happiness. Things that if I
had while drawing would bestow my process with a newly rediscovered vitality.
Katsuhiro Otomo brought a Passion, Pleasure, and Vitality to his vision of Akira
that I havent been able to tap into in myself completely yet with my work.
Why am I not drawing when Im constantly writing and talking about said act.
Im lacking vitality and intense passion for the spirit of my art. The passion needed
to bring it to life and the vitality needed to harness that creative power and energy
I talk and write about drawing and its process more than I walk the walk. I can
talk the talk, but I havent walked the art walk yet. Ive never understood how
certain artists have it so easy, where it seems like they have limitless energy, passion,
and enthusiasm for what they do.
That was odd. Someone referred to me on the Adult Swim Message Boards by my
actual name (Spindack). Hardly ANYone ever does that.
I hope no one does anything crazy because of me, like commit suicide or something
scary like that, if I ever die and am gone. Would my absence really make people that
depressed?

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The look isnt so much what Im going for anymore. Ive already achieved that
and gone well above the call of duty in that area
What Im MORE concerned about is my productivity and prolificacy throughout
the years.
It works like this: Ive already seen the worlds lengthiest, most epic indie comics,
and they are as follows, in no particular order:

Cerebus
Spawn
Bone
Scud
Blankets

These are all the famous titles that go beyond 300 pages. With some of them going even
beyond 1,000 pages. Theyre big, weighty, expensive books. They are graphic novels.
Comic booksModern Western Comics, Graphic Novelsas literature. Im starting to
see why Ive grown so obsessed with this area. Because my peers are all young, right
around my age, and they all seem to be looking for a quick fix: a mere 200 pages, or
Tokyopop/Dark Horse size for the most part. I want to do things just a little bit
different. I dont want to make literature for an audience with a short attention span. I
want to create a book readers can really get into over extended periods of time.
Something epic and a massively long narrative that takes more than a day or two to
finish for the average reader. A manifesto of graphic literature. Kind of like
Manifesto was for journals. It would be the ultimate big scale product of my own.

At first I wasnt aware that more than 20 people and 5 organizations have access to the
output/input of my laptop, so I got careless. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now. Its
not like my family and friends were ever aware of that fact, that any hacker on the web
had access to my Windows Vista account and anything I did while using it. They still
dont believe thats the case actually, even though the media has tried, in its ugly way, to
prove to them thats the case, theyre still pretty oblivious to my fame. Any mistakes I
make in that sense, even the worst ones, my parents are unaware of, even if it does appear
on the news and TV. And it has.
I REALLY need to stop making so many bullet-point lists in these here journals. Enough
with the listing of power sources and powerful things. I have enough power. Im not
power mad anymore. I was power mad at a certain point, but not anymore. Thats
because I feel like Ive reached a point of being powerful enough. No need to make
50,000 lists about it that take up half a page each! Jesus.
Some celebrities need publicity in order for other people to acknowledge their presence
on the scene. Due to how much PR and internet material there is out there about me,

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mostly good, I need no introduction. Nor do I need publicity anymore either. Unlike
some celebrities who feed off of obvious PR, I need no such recognition. Much like
Google, everybody already knows who I am. They might not know my real name, but
they know of me. No one is really able to hide that fact very well. Good for me. Im a
man who needs no real introduction because hes famous and powerful enough already.

Notable Documentaries:
Chuck Amuck: Chuck Jones
The Devil You Know: Todd McFarlane
Avatar: The Making of
Biography Channel
Ken Burns
JRR Tolkien doc. On Ovation
Ovation TV
Anime: Scrolls to Screen
Spawn Animated (the making of)
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon: DVD special features
Anime: Drawing a Revolution
Ghost in the Shell DVD: The Making of Ghost in the Shell
Anime: Concept to Reality
Akira DVD: The Making of Akira
Adventures in Voice Acting Vols. I - III
My own original character through spiritual and creative momentum has come alive and
hijacked his own book and starring role, making it almost impossible in the past to work
on anything but his and his costumes form. At least I can recognize it. Recognizing it is
the first step to redirecting that energy to other elements of Parallax.
2010 - Ive come to actually like those upstart networks, Qubo and Ovation. Theyre
only two watcheable daytime networks I can think of that dont force everyone on almost
all of their shows to act sociopathic and aggressively psychotic and chastise their
viewership. Much better than CN and Nick. Those networks have become more than a
little corrupt. Especially for childrens networks. Its nice to hear words from an
independent source. That element probably wont change for a good long while.
As for Qubo, true, some of its shows may be horribly done. But if I have to choose
between a horribly done show thats cheesy, but positive, and a more entertaining show
that makes me feel like shit for listening to it, I pick the horrible show. Any day of the
week. I guess thats just the Idealist in me. I hate to admit it, but its true.
Artists, Visionaries, Authors, and Storytellers who might be able to do remote viewing:

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Katsuhiro Otomo
Sean Akins
Todd McFarlane
Osamu Tezuka
Martin Luther King
Nostradamus
Masamune Shirow
Ridley Scott
Syd Mead
Spielberg
Tarantino
John Woo
Ken Wilber
Jhonen Vasquez
Yasuhiro Nightow
JRR Tolkien
HR Giger
Bill Gates
Larry Page
Ted Turner
Abraham Lincoln
Benjamin Franklin
Leonardo da Vinci
Pablo Picasso
They all would appear to have detailed visions of the future

BOOKMARK
Johnny Quest, G.I. Joe, Batman, comics-manga, modernist anime, and the Spawn
adaptation aside, my American animation vision is one of the most detailed character
designs ever created in the history of non-Asia, non-Asian, Western animation.
Especially more than stuff made pre 1980s. How did I achieve my level of high
production value and detail? Well, I studied a lot of detailed stuff. I studied stuff that
WAS detailed. I studied stuff in the foreign market, mostly from Japan, but some from
Britain, France, and China and on the internet archives as well. By copying from stuff
that was detailed, I was able to bring a lot of detail into many of my own drawings and
designs.

The only way Im going to finish Parallax, as a book series, is if I focus on each
individual chapter at a time, and not so much cutting it into a book series. I should focus
more on just telling a story that goes on for what seems like forever over timejust like
my journals, written and drawn in the same wayexcept its made up and doesnt exist
in real life.

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Currently, Im in a Batman drawing phase. I keep trying to draw Batmans head and
upper bust, over and over again. Its actually starting to look on model in some ways. Im
actually considering drawing my own indie comic version of a Batman Manga, or as
some would say, a Bat-Manga, featuring Batman, his gadgets, the Batcave, and
Gotham City. Ive always kind of wanted to draw fanart and fan-manga of Batman. For
this I will be studying the Batman: Black and White graphic novel series from DC, where
various mainstream and indie comics artists with much stature behind their names all
draw short stories taking place inside the Batman universe.
Other potential fanart icons: Star Wars, Akira, Spawn, Final Fantasy, Zelda, Dragonball,
and MAYBE Elric of Melnibone, Trigun, Marv (Sin City), Gandalf, Conan, Hellboy, and
Cerebus. These are some of my all time favorites in pop culture.

I used to worry about the finished product of my ideas so much. The publicity and money
and all that. But that was one of the main mistakes I made. What you really want to do is
focus on the labor intensive development process, not what comes about as a result of it.
So from this point on, Im focusing on my visual narratives exclusively as nothing more
than what matters: Production Design and Storyboards. Basically you want a sense of
the visual flow, NOT the final product. It makes it much easier to endure the labor that
goes with it if you focus on it that way. I used to think about everything hypothetically,
mostly in terms of finished Graphic Novels and Anime Co-Pro or Animated Series
Bibles. I used to approach it from a very strict technical perspective. But I eventually
came to find THAT version of my process to be incredibly depressing, oppressive, and
limiting. Eventually it came to feel like a jail sentence, like there was nothing liberating
about it. Thats one mistake I dont plan on repeating. Never place emphasis on product
over concept. You will lose your way, sooner or later.

Drawing and design has almost become as easy as Journal Manifesto writing for me. Its
almost like its not really a challenge anymore. Is that bragging? Dont know. But
drawing feels a lot easier to me than it used to, lately. I love it. Ever since I started
training myself not to over-think it, its gotten easier. What more is there to say: Life is
good.
I think I know how to draw like a the cyberpunk manga and anime production designer.
Study actual blueprints, technical drawings, and schematics for actual real technology
and mechanical designs and devices and vehicles. Doesnt sound too hard if I just study
them and draw from them. Might be the start of something.

Turns out that if you look at an airplanes actual engine as seen in illustrated blueprints
on paper, speaking in terms of design, its actually very aesthetically pleasing. It looks
more detailed than anything Ive ever seen in animation, anime, manga, or comics.
Technical mechanical illustrations for real life inventions (like plane engines) are the

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most complex designs of all. It looks both kaleidoscopic and labyrinthine in its spatial
organization, like something right out of a Katsuhiro Otomo coffee table art book. It will
be good reference for when I make an effort to draw mecha.

Im probably too detailed for American animation, and not detailed enough for American
comics. Honestly, Im having my doubts as to whether or not I actually want to officially
work in television animation in the United States. What they do to animation in America
3/4ths of the time is borderline criminal, in terms of the lack of maturity, and the
dumbing down of its content. But anime and co-pros are too competitive, not to mention
the language, discipline, and cultural barrier. Those thing are all standing in the way of
good animation reaching the American market. The French, Japanese, and Chinese
markets on the other hand are off to an amazing start. If I could live there, I would, but I
cant, so I wont. Ill just continue staying here in my current residence. I have more to
lose by moving than I do with staying still.
New philosophical thought:
Just because its the most of something, doesnt mean it cant be beaten or improved
Like prolificacy, detail level layering, speed, or intensity. Just because these things often
have trouble being duplicated well, or because they attain the level that they do, doesnt
mean I, or any other artist who I know of, who is good enough, cant come along and
shatter that level or record. All the most detailed animation derives its detail levels from a
medium thats used to being detailed: comic books.
Its true. I do like incorporating certain aesthetic values of real airplane engine
mechanical diagrams into my mechanical and architectural designs and concept art. Its
just as detailed as the debris in Akira. Im not expecting everyone to be happy for me
when I make a new discovery. Actually some people hate to see me get ahead because
theyre afraid that automatically means theyll get left behind by the world, since theyre
paranoid like that. Someone needs to tell these people it doesnt work that way. Just
because one person does well doesnt mean everyone else is necessarily going to fail.
Yeah, they will if they let themselves be miserable, but that last part is purely optional.
Ive never heard the words good job, nice work, or congratulations, from
anyone in at least seven to eight years. No one ever compliments or motivates me
anymore. Ive had to rely on my own mind to motivate myself, which isnt something Id
recommend. When I attained the biggest achievement of my life: YouTube and
finishing my books, inventing the place shifting DVD technology, getting listed in a
Google search engine, and launching my webcomics site with actual corporate
brand sponsors, my parents never said Good job. They were skeptical and critical
every step of the way. I was not rewarded for what I knew to be my shining
achievements. On the contrary. It felt a lot more like a punishment. The media was pretty
relentless too, especially Viacom and Time Warner. Instead of celebrating my

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achievements and being happy for me in what I felt to be my moment of glory, no one
thanked or even acknowledged me. If I didnt know any better and wasnt aware of what
I actually did and how much I contributed to the world in actuality, from an outsiders
perspective that day/time of the year for me looked to outsiders like every other day. No
fame, no articles written about me, no interviews, no fanmail, no congratulatory meals,
no gifts of any sort. Just criticism. Lots and lots of criticism. And ridicule and disrespect
from the mainstream media. They all ignored my accomplishments, and chose to criticize
me personally. It was very depressing.
Am I arrogant?? Yes. Am I going to apologize to my critics for BEING arrogant. Never.
They can take their business elsewhere anytime if theyre really that upset with me.

Daily Horoscope:
Today you may put a halt on your activities for a little while, dear Scorpio. You may
take a good, hard look at things and realize that the climate of trust you need in
order to be productive and creative is missing at the moment. It's a good time to get
some order back into your relationships, and remind others of their responsibilities to
you.

Ive got a pretty big list of cheap stuff I want to buy for cheap, cheap prices. Most of this
stuff only costs $2 - $10 a pop.
Websites to buy them from:

Amazon.com
Milehighcomics.com
Newkadia.com

The things Im going to purchase online are:

New issues of Spawn: Issues 107 195

Manga Trade Paperbacks: On average? $8 a pop
Sword Comics (Conan, Elric, Dragons Lair, Star Wars and the like)

Im also planning on eventually cashing out with one of my paychecks, and trading it in
for a $100 bill.

I dont know if Katsuhiro Otomo considers me to be his American heir or what, but I do
know a little bit about him. Hes the one quite a few people consider to be the modern
day heir to Osamu Tezuka, known as the God of Manga in Japan, according to Tesuka
himself, who has worked together with Otomo before, on the anime classic: Metropolis.
Thats a weighty, fancy title. Yet it may nonetheless be true. Otomo is the God of Manga

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heir prince, preceded by Osamu Tezuka. Otomo is considered the modern day Tezuka the
same way John Lasseter is considered the modern day Walt Disney. Each have managed
to carry on a very important, very Godlynot to mention prestigiouspop culture and
animation tradition.
Otomo is one of the hardest working manga-ka in Japan. Im sure he works at drawing
just about nonstop. He more than likely gets a lot less sleep than I do. Hes admitted to
spending around 2 and a half months at a time on a more detailed page of one of his most
detailed works: Akira.
And so, that is my new ambition. Even though I have the freedom to relax. I want to
spend up to two to three weeks to two to four months or more on one really big, or at
least medium sized, hyper detailed illustration.

A REALLY old friend of mine from ancient times of yore came to visit today. And not a
single minute of the visit was spent channel surfing or watching TV. TV sucks too much
to interrupt my friend time AND my family time.

From studying great artists such as Todd McFarlane and Katsuhiro Otomo, masters of
layering in comic book and animation form, I have come to learn and teach myself
something incredibly valuable merely by observing their process (they never taught this
to me in art school/classes). More time spent working = more detail in each piece.
It boils down to one relatively non-complex formula, which is:
Insane amounts of time put into each drawing = An insane amount of energy in the
art.
I find illustrations, production design, art, architecture, and paintings from Japan, Modern
East Asian anime and manga, and classic early 1900s and Italian Renaissance paintings to
serve as the best inspirations for my modern drawings. This is because the classics and
international architecture and production design provide the most detail. That and Image
Comics / DeviantART.

Honestly, Im VERY interested in selling, copyrighting, and licensing Mono, in America

as a branded animation, video game, anime, or feature film character. Im not stupid. I
know a character concept like Mono could go for a lot of money in Hollywood. Mono
Jubei and his likeness is worth a lot of potential royalties.

I have $10 in cash in my wallet right now. Ill be getting another $5 in cash later this
morning. When I get my s.s. paycheck next month, Ill get $100 in the form of ten $10

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bills. So if I dont spend this chump change Im getting right now, by the beginning of
next month Ill have $130, in cash, what with next weeks allowance.
Technically speaking though, I technically get $160 each month.
That means I make a total yearly spending salary of $1,920.
This means I earn $9,600 every 5 years.
And $19,200 every 10 years.
So by the time Im 35, Ill have earned around $20,000.

With the urge of half the things I do, no matter what it is, its subtext, everytime, is
always I want to screw your ass over. Well, thats all well and good, but Im not going
to just sit back and let that happen if I truly do get my way.
Nobody ever adapts webcomics to animation. Or anime or Japanese manga for that
matter. Didnt you know? Its an unspoken rule of the industry.

Nothing makes you more attractive to a bunch of superficial slutty ass whores than if you
datefor however brieflyone really hot, really superficial and slutty ass whore in the
very beginning. Its a snowballing effect. Its like the hotness of the bitches attracted to
you gets magnified over time somehow. No guy seems to be able to explain this. I
certainly dont get it. I never thought I was attractive enough to attract that initial hot slut
to begin with.

Im getting REAL sick of my parents psychiatric-pharmaceutical extortion plot against

me. Thats the only way they can get me to willingly ingest potentially deadly antipsychotic pharmateuticals. This is not borderline criminal on Cary and Peggys part. It IS
criminal to prescribe someone like me anti-psychotic drugs when I dont have the
condition. Cary and Peggy Alberts are both medical criminals Im afraid. Theyll deny it,
but I could care less if they go to jail for it. Part of me wants to see that happen. If I
continue to take these antipsychotics as my parents have a vision all because of my
neighbors shouting at me and my parents defending them, 1 of 3 things will happen to me
in the next twenty years, BECAUSE OF the medication Im taking, other than obesity:
1. Heart Attack
2. Diabetes
3. Stroke
Fast food my ass. It aint the fast food thas going to kill me. Its my parents. Ill die one
of three ways, and it will be 100% my parents fault for being frauds that prescribe me
deadly anti-psychotics, fraudulently. Through extortion of course. I really should start
writing down the names of these evil things Im taking. They are disease in a capsule, and
they are going to murder me afterall. Indirectly of course.

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Work routine:
Start off with something easy. A primitive doodle of just about anything. Use this for
warming up. Then pull some image from the printed materials of my room or from the
computer, and copy that, starting with the upper center or general upper or front arm area
if its a character design or storyboard. Copy, copy, copy. If I feel bored with copying,
spice it up with some good artwork Ive never seen before from one of my favorite
manga or anime artists from animegalleries.net.

To Buy List
M.O.D.O.K. N Me by Jhonen Vasquez (Marvel)
Widgey Q. Butterfluff by Steph Cherrywell (SLG Publishing)
6 glass frames for my top drawings, to use for reference
Blade (Marvel film) DVD
More Gigabytes of memory for my laptops hard drive
Turns out AnimeTV, or goanimetv.com, is going into its second season finally. They
already finished the first episode for that season. Im very happy for them. Season two is
gonna make season 1 look like a joke. Somehow the production values just look a lot
better and a lot less grainy.
Shows to watch during daytime:

DVR recordings of Adult Swim anime shows

DVR recordings of daytime Qubo and Ovation TV shows
Primetime and early morning CN shows
YouTube
DVD anime and film collection
Netflix Rentals

When I take all of that into account, I really shouldnt complain so much. There is
actually a lot of good shows to watch, just as long as you remember to record them and
watch them during the daytime.

Ive grown to like seeming dumber than my mark. In truth, I have an IQ of 130, which is
technically 10 points below genius level, which is an intellectual ability I apply to
technology, art, business, film, entertainment, and literature. I often like to act dumber
than I really am. I am cultural by heritage and blood, as I am half-British/English, and I
also have some psychic inclinations. A lot of people really hate me, unfortunately, so I
know better than to step into social situations. Im also adopted, and my adoptive parents
look nothing like me, but thats never really bothered me. Why should it? One thing I
HAVE realized is, the majority of British people are not violent. We are not good fighters
like our American counterparts, for the most part. If someone in my neighborhood

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wanted to beat me up, they probably could. My adoptive brother is not such an easy
target though. I often wish I COULD go back to where I came from (Michigan, Illinois,
and Britain), but unfortunately I lack the resources to do such a thing. So I cant escape
Florida even though I want to badly. Other people can easily move out of Florida. I on
the other hand, am basically stranded here. My parents here seem to enjoy being in this
shithole of a state way too much, and they control where I can move to for now, so
theyre the ones in control. Not me. Now that I think about it, the local (FL) media has
never really been all that curious about me as an individual. Far as theyre concerned, Im
just another local citizen. Gee, nothing gets past them, does it? Its probably because I
stay cooped up in my house all day. They definitely hate both me and anime in Florida
though. Well, those two things (me and anime) are synonymous after all.
Nothing gives me greater joy than secretly becoming an actual independent media
broadcaster and giving all the big broadcasters a run for their money. No matter how
much they diss me on their shows, theyre never able to make my actual shows, or
videos seem less cool than they already are, because theyre right there, on my
broadcast channel for people in every corner of the world to see. More than a few of them
would love to see me ruined. Well of course those people would. I am their competition
after all
Ive directed a student production before, technically speaking. Yes, they did use
industry level equipment. I in fact got to be the director of a local independent film
production, going on as part of a local film school that has been known for doing student
productions. I still remember that actually. I was able to sit in the directors chair after
one of the producer guys was assigning parts to the group of people that were there. The
room was an actual real film set for filming locally made films, if I am not mistaken. The
producer of the production said things like You be the cameraman, You be the grip.
Now you be the director he told me, directly, and let me sit in the directors chair to get
situated for a moment. Once I was in that position role, I learned what it felt like to be an
actual director, at least temporarily. The best way to describe it is, no one argues with you
about your choices for the most part, and everyone actually wants to do what you tell
them. Action I called out, and we got one take. The take went on for about five or six
minutes. It was a dialogue scene with two actors conversing based on what they read
from their scripts. Cut! I said a few moments later. OK, that didnt entirely work for
me, lets try to do it again, I said to my actors of the moment, not feeling entirely
pleased with the actors performance. Touring film school was nice. Apparently, the
producer seemed like he thought I seemed like a Director type or at least thats what it
seemed like. He never did say why he chose me to be the director of the visitors they had
there for the moment, other than It seemed right to have me as the director. Its
amazing being a director of a film production with a real budget, even a small one, even
if its only temporary like it was in my case.
This may sound weird, but I always wanted to be the professional cartoon dork-man who
was never able to get the girl, and was always self-deprecating as a form of humorous
irony, just like Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I kind of wanted to be like those guys when

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they first started out. My how times have changed. I seem to have achieved the opposite
effect somehow.

I do believe my character designs and storyboards of characters (particularly Mono) are

getting more elaborate and detailed. Examples? ...OK, heres some:

These all used only partial reference in other work. Some of them are 100% made-up.
Others I used a reference-model, mostly on the web at Google Images and
Animegalleries.net.

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Moving on. In youre career, it almost seems like we often achieve the exact opposite of
the very thing we want to attain. I dont know how the sociology or science of that works,
but it is true much of the time. Animation is weird like that. I was hoping for a safe,
harmless, friendly, and quiet environment/studio to make animation in when I grew up.
What I ended up with was everything but. People think they know a lot about me, but
they dont really know anything. They just think they do. They warn you about letting
your audience get to close to you. Unfortunately, I did not heed that advice, I had no idea
what I was getting myself into. Something very big and beyond my own individual
control. I never saw it coming.

Hot, Popular Topics, Projects, and Artists in the Art World:

Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, Gainax, and Neon Genesis Evangelion

Thomas Romain, Oban Star-Racers, and French and Japanese Anime CoProductions
Katsuhiro Otomo and Akira
American Manga-Ka (the best of the best)
Paul Pope
Bleach and Tite Kubo
Min-Woo Hyung and Priest
Yasuhiro Nightow and Trigun
Todd McFarlane and Spawn
Bruce Timm and Batman
Jhonen Vasquez and Invader Zim
Disney Feature Animation
Syd Mead and Blade Runner
Moebius and French Comics
Robert Crumb
LeSean Thomas, Aaron McGruder, and The Boondocks
Frank Miller and Sin City
Hollywood Blockbuster Films
Anime Series
Classical and Renaissance Masters (Van Gogh, Picasso, Da Vinci)

Im pretty sure I want to buy a windbreaker, whatever that means. Ive seen them though,
and I like the way they look.

[Parallax] is a dark and rich story that has caught the attention of countless tastemakers
in America, from Hollywood execs and writers to designers and fine artists, not to
mention a legion of fans. As [one man] said in some publication somewhere, [Parallax]
is currently evolving into one of the most enthralling unpredictable stories in the entire
medium.

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People seem to associate my work with masculinity, power, and strength

People also seem to think of me as a cult artist with a distinctive personal style.

I wrote an email format fanmail, or fan email to the Shaw Brothers Studio today. I
figured, hey why not? Maybe Im the first guy to write a letter like that. But to me its a
big deal because I didnt even know the Shaw Brothers were still around, but I learned a
few things through their website. Run Run Shaw, the studios founder and the main
producer of the tons of films SB has done, was knighted by the Queen of England a long
time ago. And also, Shaw Brothers was also one of the co-producers of the incredibly
influential pre-Akira cyberpunk classic Blade Runner, another one of my all time
favorites. Truth is, for an American in Florida, Im becoming VERY (more and more)
familiar with the Shaw Studios catalogue of films. Shaw Bros. also supposedly does
animation of some sort, but I do not yet know what animation or anime project they have
done. Honestly, Id love to do a co-production with Shaw. Them, Funimation, Tokyopop,
Bandai, Production IG. Any of the big East Asian studios would be amazing to work with
Im sure.

I think Ive reached a point where I want my private persona to be bolder than my public
persona.

Honestly, I dont hate girls or women. I just admire a certain kind of women more than
others. I like Tomboys and Tomboy types. Women that are tough and dont let
themselves get pushed around as easily as the more feminine types:
Women like:

Amanda
Rima
Nicole
Lorelei
Wendee Lee
Chiara Zanni
Hillary Clinton

I like women who can appear tough without seeming too much like a cutthroat, uppity,
whore bitch. The names above belong to women who are nothing like that. I consider all
of the non-celebrity women on that list among my best friends and colleagues. Theyre
not afraid to stand up to bullies, even when the bullies are men. That is so awesome. In
some ways theyre both incredibly attractive and tough as nails.

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I got my first Gamefly game today. TMNT for the PS2. I played the game I did really
amazing. I was a kick-ass, whoop-ass take no prisoners badass Ninja Turtle fighter. I was
playing for a long time at one point, and in Survival mode, I beat 75 fighters all in a row.
I even beat the Shredder, like, at least 5 or 7 times.

I want to destroy the literary limits of animation. And everyone knows to destroy the
limits of something, you have to destroy it, and rebuild it from scratch.

One thing I remember growing up, about all my favorite cartoons, shows, movies,
films, anime, programming blocks, and music. Almost every time I get into
something, I like it fast. On some level, either limited, or enduring, I was always into
capturing the fast element of my entertainment, and appreciating it as such. To me,
speed is beauty. To me fast movements, in terms of characters, camera movements,
and editing transitions all appeal to me aesthetically. The high adrenalin stuff. To
me, showbiz is like Nascar and the Daytona 500, or racing in general. In my world,
in my book, the fastest, fastest thinking, fastest moving, stealthiest player wins.
Always and every time. Whether its 90s Saturday Morning Cartoons, funk, heavy
metal, martial arts, boxing, fighting, talking, singing, racing games, fighting games,
movie chases, battle sequences, attacks, fiction and fantasy movie weapons usage,
ninjas, Asian (Chinese and Japanese) stealth. To me, for most of the time, the faster
the rhythm, response to outside stimuli, power, energy, adrenaline, testosterone,
fighting, pacing, motion, movement, efficiency, and stealth is, the better. Because of
this, as it is, its either a blessing and gift, or a curse and setback. Because of how
much Ive grown accustomed to the things I make or pick out being so fast paced,
Ive realized that the world does not share my philosophy of speed and stealth
aesthetics, and nowadays, because of how fast Im used to moving when it comes to
my own terms, the whole world often looks like its moving in slow motion. I could
write an essay on how much I love being fast. Actually, I think I will. Sooner or
later.
Im able to turn on my power. I just dont know how to turn it off. Power isnt like
electricity where you can just switch it on and off.
Ive realized something. In the warzone that is media entertainment, if youre outinformed when it comes to your enemies and rivals, then youve automatically got less
offensive power than they have. That is why Viacom is so powerful. They gather secret,
and illegal, counter-intelligence (some of it cyber espionage-based) on their rivals and
use it to their advantage by applying it to where they assume its going to hurt their
competitors the most. Theyre famous for that technique. But now that I know that, Im
done with underestimating their offensive power. They just want you to think theyre
dumb. Theyre smart enough to know when someones really insulting them. Theyll
merely air an episode of iCarly, or Drake and Josh, or Spongebob and none of their cult
shows as a surface and public yet according to us fictional response, and they dont

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plan for that to do any less damage than a full on PR war or smear campaign. Thats part
of their secret technique. Ive learned that just by watching them. I didnt even have to
hire a lawyer, spy, hacker, or publicist against them just to figure that much out.

Wow. Im everywhere. I really am everywhere. Apparently when you become

mainstream, you end up everywhere. And the truth seems to be, one of the powers of
being a celebrity is omnipresence, apparently. Not everyone thinks of that element. I
certainly didnt, until the media started focusing on me with an incredible amount of
intensity, mostly good, but also at times bad. Its almost like everyone wants to finish my
sentences for me, except my family and friends maybe. Everyone else though, yes.
Honestly, I doubt Id even be universally known and omnipresent through the media on
some level if there was something in me, my life, my abilities, and my story, that wasnt
appealing to all people on multiple levels. Its as simple as this, even if they do slander
and lie about you like theyve done to me at times, you wouldnt be a good person most
of the time if you werent omnipresent.
Essay: Why I Still Love Independent Comics Better than Most Manga
Jhonen Vasquez. Robert Crumb. Matt Groening. Aaron McGruder. Evan Dorkin.
Usagi Yojimbo. Conan the Barbarian. Cerebus the Aardvark. Jim Mahfood. Osamu
Tezuka, Katsuhiro Otomo. Moebius. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Men in Black.
Jamie Hewlett. Frank Miller. These people and characters alike all rose to prominence
through one field: Comics, with most of those comics being independent comics.
The truth of the matter isBlack and white doesnt sell. Even if its the only thing I do. It
never did sell well, even in the 90s and 80s. All young people want to see is A) Manga,
and B) Stuff thats in color.
Drawing black and white art has never been a way to make a living. No one gets rich that
way. Clearly my original motivation for drawing comics was not to get rich and maybe
not even to make a profit. I dont know. I dont remember.
Ive got a new dress style now. I changed my look a little bit. The man I see in the mirror
now doesnt even resemble the man I am used to seeing.
One of the main differences between indie comics and manga is the format. Manga yields
and conforms to a format, just like X-Men and Superman do. The fans hate to admit that,
but it is true. Bug eyes. Sexy physiques. All that crap.
One of the main similarities between manga and independent comics is the color
scheme. Both are done with pen and ink, and both are filmed in black and white. I do
like when I find similarities between more than one genre. I love that element of merging
genres or synthesizing them. I didnt used to be into what is now regular culture
(computers, anime, the internet, YouTube). I used to lead a very normal life, all things
considered, looking back, where I wasnt concerned about making a profit to live off of. I

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used to be so into the counterculture. I used to be one of the intellectually and creative
elite. But my new careers and hobbies tragically ended up destroying a lot of my old,
outdated and early careers and hobbies. Video games, magazines, American cartoons in
the 90s and 2000s, philosophy, Zen and Buddhism, Taoism, great thinkers and
revolutionaries like HH The Dalai Lama and Ken Wilber, Spawn, Sam and Max, Super
Nintendo, talk radio, 90s alternative rock and metal music, Todd McFarlane. I remember
there being a lot less choice between all the things I found cool. There werent half as
many choices back then as there are now. And I certainly wasnt famous. And I didnt
have the internet to escape to every 2 seconds.
By now, I pride myself on the strength of my inner fortitude to withstand, stand up to,
and endure obstacles, opposition, misfortune and pain. If I dont have the strength to
endure setbacks of all kinds, both expected and unexpected, then I have no reason to be
proud. Honestly, Ive almost grown to like having my patience tested. Because I always
know that no matter how bad and painful the setbacks and obstacles are, what comes after
them, for the most part is indescribably spiritual and physical reward.
I dont think I even like comic books that much anymore. Not to read anyway. I like
some of the panel art, but I hate to actually read comics most of the time. That goes for
manga too. Even the most literate comic is only semi-literate. I dont make comics for the
story. I make them for to give life to the image I have in my head. *menacing TV music
plays*. Sources point out that JM doesnt really like reading comics.
Im tired of always going to other people. Its way past time I let people, let the masses,
come to me.
More modern post-2000s cinema to come out of anime is visually based on and inspired
by the various action films of Quentin Tarantino and the Hollywood action films
influenced by his style. What with stylization, magical realism, and aesthetically-based
violence. They call Tarantino the cinema of cool for a reason. Im fairly certain Kill
Bill has been a homage to that movement in the East Asian action genre. Other highly
influential filmmakers in Japan would be John Woo, Bruce Lee, and The Matrix.
I wonder what its going to be like being a guy who draws closer to the anime and manga
style, yet who mostly does web and independent comics. If I can out-Miller Frank Miller,
that would be awesome. My comic books wont sell well, but theyll probably get a good
reaction overall, and they will be innovative. Competing in the independent comics world
will be MUCH easier and less competitive than competing in the manga world, with
other manga-ka. In terms of draftsmanship, those gals and guys would murder me.

As far as I can tell, from now on, or maybe from a little earlier on, the quality of my art is
limited only by how hard I work and the quality of my internal vision, but mostly, it is
limited by how much time I actually spend at the drawing desk, and how many hours I
spend there with my pencil moving. If I spend a ton of hours, the final product will look
decent. If I spend only a little bit of time, then it will show. I dont want that latter part to

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happen, so I will do my best to not let my occasional fatigue show through. Im not being
lazy if Im tired. Its fatigue, where Im physically incapacitated and literally cant draw,
and often also cant think about drawing. The burnout fatigue is a recent obstacle, but
nothing thats big enough to overpower my mind and physical being most of the time.

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Chapter 8
(Windows XP)

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Inventing real world phrases and images in my mind before I see them manifest on places
like TV and the internet is often a bit shocking. Im constantly haunted by the feeling that
someone is spying on me 24/7 and ripping all my phrases and mental images off, when in
fact I just have a very powerful mind, and literally see their moves in my head before
they make them. Its a wonderful strategic benefit. I mean, seriously, who DOESNT
want to know what their competitions moves will be before the competition actually
makes those moves. I am able to see and evade those things. If I walk into a trap, the
majority of the time its because I LET myself do such a thing. Either that, or I dont plan
and prepare in contingency format enough, for the times when I let my guard down too
much.
Since Parallax failed commercially and in terms of business sales figures, Ive been
considering seeking out a new direction with my art. Ive decided I want to work my way
up to something either local or national. I want to find work doing something industry
related, that is related to industry experience. I want to do free form comics pages,
storyboards or animatics, and the writing of scripts, for both feature films and TV. I want
to be as productive with art and narrative from this point on as I have been with
journaling in the last nine years. I need to transfer that energy into what I consider to be
the right outlet, and not an outlet that leads to dead ends (i.e. this). Sure the work is five
times harder, but thats kind of what intrigues me about it. If its five times harder, that
just means the finished product will probably be five times better.
I plan onand want to startwriting at least 20-40 26-minute scripts for various
episodes of Parallax. And maybe even a 90-120 minute feature film script as well. Since
Im typically not that good at art, and am usually better with literature and writing, Ill
stick to what Im good at: Words, and making my script as action-packed, violent,
thrilling, mysterious, and dramatic as possible. I want to write animated action scripts that
continue on in the tradition of Todd McFarlanes Spawn and Batman: the Animated
Series. I used to not really be interested in writing scripts for my own show, until I realize
it might be one of the best ways of conveying the reality of my vision to other people,
particularly people in the business. It will basically be the equivalent of writing my own
anime show: writing my own animated primetime action series.
After script development comes more sketchbooks, but also storyboards for each episode.

There. I finished my first page worth of Parallax television scriptwriting less than 20
minutes ago. Didnt turn out too bad. Actually, it turned out pretty good. It was the
beginning of a dialogue beat between Mono and his boss Noah at S.O. HQ. The really
amazing part is that it felt like a real script page, even though it wasnt written with
scriptwriting software, and it was my first attempt, all done on regular Microsoft Word.

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Genres, formats, and mediums Id love to make a more advanced system out of:

Anime (DVD, broadcast episode)

Co-Production (Broadcast Episode, DVD)
Manga (Book)
World Manga (book)
Independent Comic Books (issue, book)
Graphic Novels (Book)
Comic Book Pages (Page)
Production Design (Paper)
TV scriptwriting (Script)
Screenwriting (Script)
Storyboard Art (Paper)
Digital Video (File)
Web-comics (Website)
Novel Narrative (Book)
Web Design (Website)
International Business (Business Paradigm, Building)
Manufacturing (Product)
Design (Paper)
Animation studio (Building)

Other than Thunder-Lightning Productions, Im considering using the term Think Tank
for my company name. That might work.

Now that Im finally getting better at screenwriting for original animation that is adult
and/or night-based, Im starting to learn a thing or two about pacing my scripts.
Apparently, just because you can use the dialogue, description, dialogue, description
screenwriting pattern, doesnt mean you should. By now that type of format feels a bit
clich.
In my storytelling, I take the George Lucas approach. When I write my best script,
treatment, outline, storyline, and beats, there are a lot of things going on. There are a lot
of things, people, events, actions, and stuff going on in my script. It is my world (NewEarth) after all. When I make something epic, I make it epic. There will be a lot of stuff
going on my projects, just like any big budget film.
Awesome. I now have around 46 beats written for my screenplay-TV-script. Thats more
than 5 scripts worth of plot, if not a lot more! Actually, its more like 10-20 scripts worth
of beats.
Action cartoons are kind of hard to write, but they are fun and challenging.

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My goal is to design and build by hand a invincible media Fortress of screen scripts,
storyboards, and comic book narrative panel-pages. Ive got another work review coming
up pretty soon
Im tired of relying on my celebrity connections. From now on, Im letting my own
words do the talkingon paper, and on Final Draft 8.
I believe its time to part ways with television, or at least television that doesnt agree
with my skill set or ideals. In other words, things that arent fantasy and science fiction.
Im actually a pretty decent screenwriter when it comes to drama, action, fantasy, and
science fiction. I can tell a joke like anyone else, but its often comedy I have the real
problem with. I should stick with the demented, pitch black, humor Im good at. For
practice anyway.
I find original anime and comic book scripts are a hell of a lot easier to write and produce
material for than English anime dub rewrites. At least in terms of dialogue, mostly
because thats all they are. All the actual descriptions are just translated version of
Japanese anime scripts that were used for the Japanese recording session.
I am a rock star. And everyone knows rock stars are the target of a lot of fan hatred and
tend to get sloppier than the more corporate types. Rock stars arent clean. They never
have been, not even when Elvis was alive. Elvis, one of the first real rock stars, was
sloppy as hell. Same thing with Jimi Hendrix, and later Kurt Cobain. They all led messy,
messy lives. Rock stars are the opposite of civilized much of the time. And theyre highly
criticized. I kind of like the idea of being too sloppy to be presentable. Looking back at
working for AnimeTV, I did eventually feel out of place when I realized everyone
working on that show was either an anime dubbing exec, a dub artist, or an aspiring dub
artist, three things which I have no desire to be. I really just live to tell stories, not use my
actual voice.

You know, I dont really go around thinking of myself as the future of animation and
comics or anything grandiose. I prefer to think of myself as the potential future.

I find that one thing which almost never fails to affect the speed of my writing is the
amount of energy I possess. Things like how high my energy and adrenalin levels are.
The truth is this: I need to cut my task management down to size. I need to pick a smaller
amount of fields, mediums, and genres to master. Because my current energy level
when it comes to sketching, panel making, and script writing, seriously isnt cutting it.
From this point on, Im limiting my amount of goals for my work schedule, to bring them
down to a less hyped, less scary, manageable size.

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Schedule
1.
2.
3.
4.

Read
Develop and write script snippets
Develop more comics panels with Grid Technique
Fill up sketchbooks and paper with I know what

And thats the end, or should I say start (?) of it.

Man, Im arrogant. I dont want to be arrogant anymore. Or at least, not so much that my
own arrogance undermines the quality of my regular work. I say I can accomplish all
these amazing things with art, but have I done anything in reality? No.
Think internationally. Start locally.
The truth is, Ive put myself in a difficult place, mostly because Ive unintentionally
bitten off more than I can chew. Ive definitely been in over my head a few times in the
last few years. Right now Im just glad Ive chosen comics as my vocation and not
animation. Animation is a very collaborative effort, and takes collective manpower,
money, computers, a team, and resources. Comics just takes you and a piece of paper and
whatever tools you draw with. Comics, assuming theyre simple looking to a degree, is a
much less tedious and time consuming process, especially if youre just doing one story
arc or page.
Anime and Manga Online
Boards.adultswim.com
FUNimation.com
Manga.com
AnimeTV
Tokyopop
Megatokyo
Webcomicsnation.com/jm
YouTube
Wikipedia
Anime News Network
DeviantART
All this overabundance of freedom and choice in my life, with no one telling me what to
do, is suffocating in one sense, ironically. Apparently I dont make a good boss for
myself, now that my parents arent forcing me to work at a day job or go to school. I just
wish I had an editor or agent or someone of that sort. Someone to coach me. Im
downright sick of coaching and mentoring myself. A man can only teach himself so
much, on and off the internet. Young artists love to follow my example, but it often

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seems like none of them even try to transcend it. All they ever seem to do is imitate my
stylenot go beyond it.

One characteristic of genius is unpopularity with the trendy fashionable crowd. They
generally dont gravitate towards the intellectual crowd, which is mostly a bunch of
nerds. Valuable nerds, but still nerds.
Another characteristic of genius is being ahead of your time. Genius is often not
recognized right away or instantly. Its not always easily recognizable
Genius can feel like a prison cell. Its lonely and depressing, figuratively and literally. Its
not actually a prison cell, but it does resemble one.
Genius is always valuable, but its source is not always recognized or even considered
valuable right away.

BOOKMARK
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Waking Life and Ghost in the Shell are probably the two most philosophical animated
properties ever made. However, all both films really do is quote philosophical fiction and
literature in general. Very rarely do they offer their own theories. Lets face it, animation,
be it anime or animation in the West is not anywhere as philosophical of a medium as
live action cinema and philosophical novels.
I do things around my house like record DVDs and make websites and surf the web and
draw and write animation and comics, not so much because I actually want to do these
things, even if I do. I do these things to eliminate boredom.
I no longer defend anime like I used to. Most of what kids in the anime community do
nowadays isnt justifiable or able to be defended. Its ridiculously stupid, just like quite
a bit of anime, with some exceptions.
What do you do when you want to die, but society wont let you die, and yet it also wont
let you live. That is what happened to me. Id rather be dead than alive. Spiritually I
already feel pretty dead, thanks to all my imitators.
Ive never understood why, if people think youre hiding something, its always
something bad. Thats the public medias own paranoia at work, unfortunately. They
tend to be pretty send it to the government and take no prisoners ish about it. The only
secret I have, that I know of, is I tried to get into animation and failed.

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Power colors, aura reading, business astrology, thaumaturgy, lightworking, Reiki

mastery, third eye, remote viewing, clairsentience, empaths. I know of all these things,
regardless of how obscure they are among academics and new age mystics. But that
doesnt change the fact that I often feel like my life is a curse, and I truly dont want to
live and dont want to die. Honestly, as of now I dont know which would make me
happiermy ownlife or death.
I dont like being a part of spectacle, unless its just me and a crowd at a friendly special
occasion friends and family party, no imposters allowed in, just so they can steal my
shine. If its about something, it might as well be about me. Well, me and a few others I
guess. But only if they can take the heat like I can.
The ones who really control the cosmos of modern showbusiness and entertainment are
the stars, the auteurs. The bigger the star is, the harder it is to get that star to move about
freely, because it moves so much on some level.
WCN, and Thunder-Lightning Productions aside, I launched my newest mini project
today. Today, I launched my studio-lab. The start of my potential future production
facility: JM Laboratories.
Long Term Planning Notes:
My daily and long term planning and long term logistics are often strong. But my
short term day to day minutia planning, sorting out the small details of day to day
planning and living, often confuses, surprises, baffles, and intimidates me. I can
often have this big five year to decade or two-long range plan, but if I get too bogged
down in the daily details, the step by steps that lead to that, I can easily find myself
intimidated and overwhelmed by the short range obstacles. One of my all time
weaknesses is day to day hustle and bustle and day to day boredom. That and letting
my mind go blank, not thinking about anything at all, in other words relaxing
without concentrating on some directed distraction in some way, like a DVD or CD
album. Drives me a bit crazy. I like having something to do. I like having
assignments. So why not assign myself stuff?
Lesson learned: Always know when your opponent has more might than you.
Always know who will yield to you and who wont. Know the power structure of the
playing field.
Ever since I hit high school and transcended it, I havent really had much of a problem
with regular insults, you know, being called weird, gay, stupid or whatever. I take
pride in my weirdness, Ive never been gay and dont plan to be, and I cant remember
ever actually being stupid, other than maybe the time I had temporary mental amnesia. In
many peoples eyes, I am borderline genius and beyond. But Ive never needed to feel
intelligent just to feel secure as a human being. Im a good person. I know that by now. I

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might have my quirks and eccentric elements, either major or little, but at least I can
sleep.
Whats my favorite guilty pleasure around Christmas Time? People are gonna laugh at
me for this, but my favorite guilty pleasure is relaxing around the house, hanging out with
my mom (adoptive) who loves me dearly and who I love dearly, watching mostly stuff on
the Hallmark channel about Christmas stories and talking a little bit about how lovely
these shows and movies are. The Hallmark Channel is way more heartwarming than
Disney Channel in some ways. And I can relate to those older person Christmas an
Holiday Specials better. Golden Girls and Touched by an Angel are GOOD shows and I
dont care what any punk kid on the internet says about me because of that. Christmas
TV is some of the best TV. I love Hallmark just like I love Qubo and Ovation, which are
for kids and the art elite.

Honestly, I think the internet people that mock me are just jealous of my fame and
influence. Well, that and theyre kids with no lives, mostly. Afterall, its not like anyone
in animation or animation journalism writes articles or books about the ASMB.
Apparently theyre not journalism worthy. Animation and technology journalists already
give me press coverage. Ive already read one article about the innovative modern
generation and genre of webcomics in Animation Magazine.

These anime, Hollywood, and cartoon people. Some of them are so power hungry.
Almost as much as me . With them, its just power, power, power, and more power!
Box Set Upcoming Viewing List:
Wolfs Rain
Dragon Ball Z
Yu Yu Hakusho
Batman: The Animated Series
Heat Guy J
Witch Hunter Robin
Spawn
The Vision of Escaflowne
Last Exile
Things to buy:
DVD software:
1Click Copy
Ulead
$100

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Christmas Gifts:
$100
Photoshop
Dreamweaver
Sorenson
$300 - $500
More Memory for hard drive
$100s
DVR for room
$100
Sub-Total
$900

I think, at this level, its a little dangerous to still think of myself as a so-called mortal. I
dont know about genius, but because of the immortal, godlike, nature of my work, I can
no longer afford to consider myself mortal. Im a divine creative and intellectual spirit,
almost mythological like, at home with the gods and deities, but out of place with the
mortals and normal human beings. I am Hercules, or some other Greek God, or Leonardo
Da Vinci, Picasso, Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, Barack Obama, Spielberg, Shakespeare,
Einstein, Bruce Lee, John Woo, or another one of the numerous Social Gods out there.
Its 1 a.m. and Im not sleeping yet. How odd. Usually the meds have me well knocked
out by now.

Mudslingers come and go. Some of them are more challenging to deal with than others
Some of them end up on drugs or in jail. Or both. Ive seen that happen a time two with
these people. You do these great things, then suddenly someone comes along runs up to
you and throws mud on you, in mid sentence.

Been researching sword books and sword comics lately. A LOT of them, both Asian and
Western. Doesnt matter which hemisphere they are from or derive from, if they offer
info about sword, sword techniques, the mystical nature of the sword, and magic sword
stories like Elric and Conan, if they have it (those things), I am interested. Its an

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addiction. Not a serious one, but still an obsession. Theyre a symbol of power, for one
thing. In a way, the sword is a symbol of a more pure power, as they represent the past,
and history. Guns are a symbol of impure power, as they represent contemporary times,
where guns have been used for all sorts of dishonorable deeds, especially in the American
media, which tend to foster more violence, hostility, and corruption.
BOOKMARK
I find it ironic, very ironic, that my so-called web-comics siteat the currently Trojanattacked and infected WCN comics hosting sitedoesnt have any comics on it, just
sketchbooks and covers for the most part. I feel like Im getting closer to being able to
deliver on the bread and butter of what I do. You know, the action, the fighting and
combat sequences. And dialogue scenes. Ill start off with a few panels here and there
like Im already doing, then Ill just grow it outward, and teach myself discipline in that
area until Im more professional and confident with my process. Right now Im just
getting used to drawing good comics. Im just barely getting started. I will only draw a
long, drawn out extended multi-story narrative through sequential and serial chapters.
However, yes, its not even 2010 yet, its December of 2009, and I already feel like Im
starting to master this thingat a beginner level anyway.
My draftsmanship is getting better. Its not getting worst. The notion of me drawing
something really heavy in spirit, isnt seeming so scary anymore. I can fight fear and
paranoia with work, and restore my health that way. If Im on the treadmill, Im on the
treadmill for survival, but above all, my art.
Im actually fairly good with a sword and a trenchcoat, when it comes to paper and pens.
I have attained something closer to perfection and power in those areas that is at a higher
level, physically and spiritually, than I ever expected to attain. Those are two of my
power areas: Swords, spirit energy, and trenchcoats. Honestly, I have no clue HOW I
got so advanced in those levels. But Im glad I am that advanced in one sense. When it
comes to trenchcoats and swords, and creating art inspired by them, it seems even some
of the Japanese artists and studios acknowledge my general skill level in that area. I have
not perfected those areas yet, but Ill just say Im really, really good and cool at them,
and leave it at that. Truth is, I hate to brag, especially about that area, but when it comes
to the Highlander Meets Matrix Look in terms of costume design and costume
designers, Ive definitely found my niche. Part of what makes my niche and area of
auteur skill so distinctive is the fact that I excel at costume design. Ive brought a lot of
attention and fashion savvy to that area of Hollywood and anime that hadnt been there
before, clearly because of how distinctively original Mono Jubeis anime costume is.

Areas of my Art that Started off Really Amazing

That I need to do a lot more work on:

Detailed Cityscapes
Film Noir Covers

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Screen writing Page Formatting

Cut-&-Pasting together Comics Pages on Comic Book Creator software
Trenchcoats (angular and curved, wrinkly)
Full Compositions (BG, char, and props)
Aspect Angle Panels (manga style)
Oblique Angles
Digital Black Ink / White Eraser fill in (on computer)
Tracing action poses
Fighting panels/scenes
Ugly Demons
Mecha
Swords; Firearms
Motorcycles
Costume Design, Cloth and Drapery
Charcoal and 2B Pencil Anatomy
Black overlap
Abstract Notan
Fractal clothing
Fantasy Architecture
Perspective
Grid Paper Technique

Ive only scratched the surface of these skill and technical areas of practice. Keep
reworking it. Any of these is a potential candidate for tutorials

Like many people, I am able to concentrate on 2 things at once. I can draw while
thinking about writing, or write while thinking about drawing. Im always in 2
places at once, due to my thought process.
Perhaps part of the reason I dont develop anything in Parallax BUT Mono is for
that very reason. To me, my stories often give off the illusion that my books are just
one big continuing narrative vision on paper, a giant castle or fortress that I am
slowly, day by day, building, one brick at a time, per day. Perhaps because of all this
Ive evolved into a state of mind where Ive unintentionally started viewing all
details in the story other than Mono and his Quest through the Apocalypse as a
Means to An End, and nothing more. Mere details to be dismissed and sacrificed
from my daily thought patterns in a failed attempt or experiment to trick myself
into constantly seeing the big picture, not the Quest that leads up to it, and the
millions of footsteps around New Earth it takes to get there.
Story Structure for Parallax:

Hero (Mono) is introduced

Villain (Nosfor) wants to enslave humanity and take over world
Hero goes on multiple Quests to stop Villain

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Hero eventually defeats Villain and saves universe.

The End

There is a technique of momentum and stamina, when they are at their strongest. For lack
of a more clever term, I will call it the catapult technique. The stronger the mechanism
is shooting you into the air, the higher youll fly and the further youll go for a much
longer amount of time.
For example, developing discipline early on leaves a much more powerful market than
developing discipline later. But yes, discipline itself can qualify as a matrixa System. If
the technique and strategic system of discipline is set up, and if its foundation is
hammered deep enough into the ground of your psyche, thus taking root, then the power
of its thrust, or the momentum and endurance that follows the thrust or launch will be
that much more powerful. This is what happened to my journal: It developed roots in my
brain as a house ten years ago or so, and ten years later, its a foundation, a fortress. The
same thing is happening to my comics pages and layouts for panels and pages in general.
So Ill call this newest technique my Matrix of Discipline.
As of now, Im not planning on tackling:

Films
Novels

Unless Ive already mastered

TV Animation
Comic books

Im happy that nothing I do is ever really all that clich. It has a lot of imitators on the
web, but theyre all basically ripping off the formula I invented for my own usage. So
saying Im stealing for using the clich of Mono and the story formula I invented for
Parallax is a bit like calling Akira Toriyama clich for using Goku, when there are so
many other shonen protagonists just like Goku. The thing is, when Toriyama created
Son Goku, Toriyama, invented the archetype, therefore he is original now and forever, no
matter how many times he uses his own clich. You arent qualified to be considered a
sellout and clich user when you are the inventor the archetype that all the other guys
and girls clichs are based on. Its like being an inventor. Once you invent it, thats
about it. Its impossible for the inventor to rip off his own invention.
Short science fiction story title: 51 Ways to Kill the Earth

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For some reason, my mind has been in a very weird, very amusingly creative mood in the
last day or few. Its like a million ideas are forming in my head all at once, especially
since I realize my mind is always in 2 places at once, which reminds me, I should resume
reading that chapter from my Gainax Documentary book. My mind hasnt felt this
unslave-like and free in a while.

Characteristics of aspergers:
Hyperlexia
Genius
Introversion
Analytical and Contemplative mind
Obsessive pursuit of specialized topics
Awkward clumsiness

As far as Im concerned, Ive noticed due to how far my stylistic skill level has gotten,
Im beginning to do things with the medium of manga, in my sketchpadand on my
computer and notebooksthat has never been done before. Even for anime and manga it
is something new. I also hope to adapt my work to the screen just as Osamu Tezuka,
Akira Toriyama, Masamune Shirow, and Katsuhiro Otomo all did, adapting comics and
graphic novels and continuing trades and anthologies to TV and animated film, and
making a healthy profit off of the licensing the franchise property while Im at it. I cant
speak for others, but for me, the term licensing rights and royalty checks are music to
my ears, though I am by nature an independent comic book cartoonist. A lot of artists
who are really young in this world are unaware of just how rich licensing rights to your
own comic book can make you in reality. Franchises make creators, writers, and artists
rich. That is how you get million or hundred-thousand dollar paychecks in the first place.

If a show only makes you the good guy, it supports you.

If a show only makes fun of you, theres no hope
If a show makes you the good guy and bad guy, its ambivalent
Good Guy Shows. Shows I often feel like I can relate to:

Pokemon (art/writing)
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (art/writing)
Samurai Jack (art/writing)
Invader Zim (art/writing
Pixar (Art / Writing)
Chaotic Marillian Invasion (Art/Writing)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Writing)
Dragonball Z (Art/Writing)
Naruto Shippuden (Art/Writing)

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Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds (Art/Writing)

Pearlie (Writing)
Jacob Two Two (Writing)
Blood Plus (Story/Art)
Code Lyoko (Art/Writing)
Storm Hawks (Story/Art)
Oban Star-Racers (Art/Writing)
Samurai Champloo (Art)
Moribito (Art/Story)
Fullmetal Alchemist (Art/Writing)
IGPX (Art/Story)
Naruto (Art/Story)
Monster (Writing)
Gurren Lagann (Art)
Death Note (Writing, Art)
InuYasha (Art)

I never forget a compliment. I also never forget an insult.

There are two effects I achieve in my work:

The Patented Stanley Kubrick Mindfuck Technique (Akira, the Shining). In other words,
WTF
The Rima Jabbur effect. The I draw just like Leonardo and Raphael, but Im a 30 year old
Lebanese woman who just happens to be that good to be able to draw like he/shes
straight out of the Italian Renaissance because Im smart enough to reverse engineer the
Renaissance style.
Ive already reverse engineered DBZ (for story), Bruce Timms, and Frank Miller style
(for art), to a degree.
My new book, Video Engineering, came in the mail today.
I just realized. Its impossible to embarrass my parents the way the world tries to
embarrass me. Nothing embarrassed my adoptive dad. No amount of slander or
defamation on the internet or TV even touches him. Its really weird. Hes nothing like
me in that sense.
Wanted: Dead or Alive
Since Brian Johnston wanted to have me killed and constantly attempted to manipulate
the media into exposing my real face and mannerisms, I think its a pretty safe bet to

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say anyone in the media both mainstream or independent mimics his worldview and
follows in his footseps, in other words, if theres an emphasis on my face in an ugly way,
just like what Johnston attempted using hacktivity, chances are its a racist bigot who has
some form of ill will toward me. Its not a gesture of good will in any sense of the term.
That includes people on talk shows, on the web, anywhere, and in the journalism media,
like newspaper and TV. They cant fool me, much as they might want to. Im psychic,
and when youre psychic and can sense when people are being evil, like I can, no matter
the distance, its actually a pretty obvious PR warfare tactic. Its hard to think of a post
Brian rival, any of the notable ones, who Hasnt used such a deviant tactic.

Im growing less and less fond of the internet with each passing day. Im being tempted
more and more to just quit that shit altogether and just focus on my work. I dont know
how well known media figures do it. Im not able to without looking like a fool.
Everytime I go online, or watch TV, I am butting heads with someone new each day.

Got attacked by two trolls on ASMB today. That same asshole as usual the annoying
two, and some other bitch. Fortunately I attacked them back, so its all god.

Japanese studios tend to only want to work with famous Westerners if

A) They have their act together
And
B) When theyve reached their moment of career maturity
Its a silent status acknowledgement thing. I am not either of those. The closest Ill ever
come to that sort of thing for the time being is with AnimeTV, which is still a step down
from that co-pro kind of status level.
Why are the trolls and moderators online so obsessed with my DVD making powers. Its
like with my competition nothing is off limits for insult, except my DVD manufacturing
abilities. Yeah, like Id ever make a DVD for you with the way you talk to me. Figure the
fucking thing out yourself if you hate me so much asshole. If competitors and other
people in the industry are really THAT desperate to test me an lash out at me, I can
always take my DVD making trade secrets to the grave with me, and no one will ever
know how to do all that Ive done, even posthumously, because they treated me badly.
And singled me out. Thats what they get when they fuck with Joseph Matthew Alberts,
aka JM Strebler. Id love to help the actual nice people out and teach them the secrets of
my DVD authoring capabilities, which is what everyone seems to want to pry out of me,
but Im afraid rude people might get a hold of it the way they got a hold of anime after I
got into that too.

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Due to how much conspiring theres been against my concept, Parallax in both the right
wing and left wing media, Parallax is sort of labeled as a show with baggage. Its
already been through a lot, and its probably not even established. Not that much anyway.
Everytime they single me out, I go Thats really just more baggage to be added to the
baggage thats already there around Parallax folklore in the real world.

Im not exactly feeling the Christmas spirit. Nothing good or entertaining is or ever will
be on TV from this point on. I would be surprised if regular cable goes out of business
altogether. That included Cartoon Network, especially since theyve forgotten what their
best shows are, both Western and anime. I also have no friends to talk to. I have nothing
to do with my time. Technically speaking theres nothing I really have to do. I just sit
on my ass and do nothing most of the time. I dont have a job to go to and keep me busy.
Im an internet and TV pseudo employee, therefore Im technically unemployed. But
whenever something weird in my life happens it makes it onto the web and TV somehow.
How is the key question mark here.

Im taking a new direction with my WCN account, consequently demolishing all the
content that had been on there up till this point. Well it got stale, so Im taking it in a new
direction, one closer to where I really want to be. From now on, no matter how much of a
masterpiece my production artwork is, its going to stay unseen unless its going in a
direction of some sort. Unless its visual narration or sequential artwhich is my new
quotaits not going on my website, no matter how ingenious or good it is, or how much
I like it. Thats because STORYTELLING and NARRATION are my new quota. If its
not narrating a story, its not in. No exception. Im ready. Its time. Or at least it is and I
will be by early next year. My comics narratives will get longer and longer as time goes
on, I suspect, now that Ive opened up the floodgates with my more technically-based
grid paper to guide me. The really good individual related sketches are going to have to
remain out of sight from the public for the most part, and hidden, unless its done the way
Fred does it over at his site on Megatokyo.

Im pretty sure you need money in order to collaborate with real artists and studios. Most
professional studios and artists need money to function. Including Asian ones. Good will,
alone, while it may be good intentioned, does not have the power to make co-pros
happen. Only cold hard cash can. For more collaborations between Japanese, Chinese,
French, and American animation and comic book publishers and studios, there needs to
be more money. Whoever has the most money will probably get the farthest, regardless
of whether theyre a good guy or not.

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Sequential Art, Manga Page Drawing Skill Level

Beginner / Amateur
Intermediate / Average
Advanced / Pro
Right now I can only really handle short stories. Ive got to start small and miniature, or
Im never in a million years going to get to where I want to go to.
Format Rule:
1-4 page mini narratives about the first or last subject that comes to mind

First Mini-Story idea:

Title: Rebel
Genre: Action
Premise: An impoverished young orphan boy in a deserted town attempts and eventually
fails to defend himself and survive with only a few weapons against a powerful invading
evil war army
Influenced by: The character Artemis Fowl II
Protagonist: Looks and acts like Artemis Fowl in some ways.
Status: 1 Rough Layout Page complete and Villain Facial Structure started.

Some of the only creative non-theatrically based Scorpios I can find are
Bjork, Masashi Kishimoto, Pablo Picasso, and Osamu Tezuka

Comics (Page) Rate:

Parallax: 2
Other: 1

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A script or screenplay does not need to be written in sequential order, from

beginning, to middle, to end. It can be written in any order and out of order, even
from end to beginning.
The same can be said about sequential art. It does not have to live up to its title. It
needs to fit together in sequential order, as sequential art, but when all is said and
done, it can be drawn out of order. You can draw the last and middle chapters first
and the first chapter last. And you can draw the bottom panels before the top ones,
or even the middle ones, and vice versa. Doesnt matter if its in order as you create
you projects sequences.
Its okay to start at the middle or end of the story first, or even have different parts
of the story be drawn different ways.
Main artistic influences overall:
Akira Toriyama, Katsuhiro Otomo, Batman, Frank Miller, Bruce Timm, Sin City, Usagi
Yojimbo, Samurai Jack, Star Wars, Todd McFarlane, Jhonen Vasquez.
There is an overabundance of symbols of power in Parallax. Everything from Monos
blade to black trenchcoats to samurais to dramatic wind and dual wielding of weapons.

At this point with anything you do, you burn a thousand bridges, and open a thousand
more.
-Becky Cloonan

High fantasy heroes didnt always used to have spikey brunette hair, angry faces, and
martial arts combat skills, nor did they have black trenchcoats and heavy artillery, nor
have they always been in prolific and epic comic book narrative form, unless you count
Bone and Cerebus in one sense. Ive been responsible for much of this recent change.
Maybe I have too many things going on in my world. I guess time will tell.
I also believe its dangerous to assume like I have been, that Adsense will save me in any
way, shape or form, the way it saved Google. First of all, Im not Google. I dont even
know if Im officially associated with Google, even though I am technically listed by
name in their search engine. Yeah, its getting that bad.
When I was a young adult, I constantly went power mad. I constantly wrote about how I
wanted various symbols of power, whether it was having my own project in the media, or
having a public voice or image. My horoscope has informed me numerous times in the
past that youve very powerful, Youre the most powerful astrological sign, Your
master number 22 is very powerful, or you have been given a bit of power today and
you should be careful how you wield it Yeah, power kind of is a sword, and a double

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edged one at that. I feel much less inclined to brag about my enemies or power, now that
Im aware I have them. Enemies pretty much always come attached with the power you
receive. If youve got any real power, that is. And you cant exactly advertise youre
power either. That automatically triggers both defensive and offensive maneuvers in
others, in what is often the most power-hungry andsometimes obviousstrategic
manner possible. I have no delusions about it anymore. Everyone wants power in some
way shape or form. But it is now clear to me not everyone attains it. Sometimes power is
amazing when it is used, some times it is liberating and empowering, or healing, or
entertaining and enlightening or insightful, in cases of miracles or genius. And some
times it is manifested in the form of treachery and intentional fear and panic mongering,
particularly in the media. You eventually have to teach yourself how to tune all that noise
and shouting at you out, and learn to harness and control your own power, regardless of
who invariably doubts or believes you.
My critics in the media have said they expect Parallax to be poorly done, if ever
completed at all That was the early assessment within the first three years of Parallax
and Monos publication online in his own webcomic.
I have a lot of really bad, really horrible sketches and generally bad and not very good, or
poorly made drawings lying within either my brain or soul. I know their there hiding.
Theyre waiting for me to clean them out of my system, and rinse them off like dirty
bathwater onto the page. The sooner I can get all the dirt and bad smell (bad art) out of
me, the sooner I can get to the beautiful, finished, refined, and labored work, and actually
appear clean. Ive already seen some of these clean drawings. But a lot of what Ive
drawn is the artistic equivalent of dirt.

Drawing sketches is to drawing comic book panels

As
Writing my journal pages is to writing a novel or script.

I found a new secret way to powernap. Heres how I do it. I lie down with the back of my
head on my pillow, get comfortable. Keep warm and covered by covers, preferably with
the lights off, but having the lights on is okay too. Close my eyelids close and resting in
place, stare off into space into the patterns, colors, and darkness that is moving around
underneath my eyelids. I easily slept for 20 to 30 minutes using this technique. Its very
much a form of restoring vitality: Power napping.
Why do they, the celebrities get acknowledged and recognized for being a genius /
Buddhist / Scorpio / mystic / author / technologist / inventor / artist / auteur, and I only
get called bad stuff. Its probably racism or something. Maybe I should just get used to
not being acknowledged positively by the mainstream, something Ive always desired.

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Im watched by others, but not acknowledge by anyone. Im used to that element. People
like to watch me without offering to actually communicate with me directly. Oh well.
Talking aloud too much is a sin, in my opinion. That is why I write 1 million times more
than I actually speak in person. My written and verbal speech do not match up. Some
view me as this guy who speaks in public a lot. Actually, I was diagnosed by my therapist
with selective mutism when I was young. I was terrified of speaking to strangers. I still
am, kind of. I never really got over it. Its just my public persona presents me to the
world as this loud, overbearing, overconfident disheveled thing, and that just isnt me.
Super Hero, Legend, Guru, Master, Teacher, Protagonist, Professional, Self-Publisher.
I am all those thingsand more.
My newest book came a few days ago, and it sucks. Its an outdated book on Video
Engineering, released in, oh I dont know, 1999! Sucks. And to add insult to injury, the
fucking book is basically a college textbook. Not EVEN a working manual.
Am pretty sure Ive been getting better at designing comic book pages. If Im not
drawing panels during the day, Im drawing panel borders. It sounds very silly and
stupid, but it is working. Im getting more used to conceptualizing and executing comics
composition. The best way to approach comics is like a cartoonist, and pretend you have
a deadline like Ive been doing. Cartoonist may lack detail, but they draw with a stone
cold discipline and drive that I admire. I want to have that, and I seem to be acquiring it.
But I still estimate it will take at least five to ten years to master. If it takes eight years
less than that, all the better. Good. That will be an over-calculation. Good. I love overcalculations.

I doubt my parents have any sort of realistic expectations for me, in terms of my personal
life. I dont think they have a plan for me to ever move out. If I ever move out, I cant say
its thanks to them. Honestly, Im beginning to think they actually do expect me to live
in this piece of shit Florida suburb for the rest of my life. Live here. Die here. For life. I
suspect they themselves want to die here in Florida, the worst state ever, and are
expecting me to do the same, even when its against my will. Like son like parent. Like
loser like loser. That seems to be their whole plan. Theres no hope in their future as old
fuckers so there shouldnt be any hope for me either. Fuck that shit. Fortunately I have
my art and literature, which seems to have shrunk back into the shadows for the time
being. So at least I still have some hobbies to nourish my soul. I have my doubts as to
whether or not Ill ever be able to afford food stamps with them or whatever, but who
cares. Its my hobby not theirs anyway.
Anyway, as I was saying a page or two back, this page rate thing seems to be picking up
a little steam. I made a wish and it came true. Yeah, big deals. I know. I made it to a
whole 2 20-pg. issues. Not bad for setting my mind to something. Beats jailtime like the
article above I guess.

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I do value freedom. I value my freedom. And being famous means you HAVE NO
freedom. That is part of why I have no plans to be famous. Some people make the most
elaborate and arrogant plans, mostly involving PR divisions, on how theyre going to get
famous. People like Adam boy. I have no such plan. So if I ever do attain fame it will
not be through any actual planning on my own behalf. I do write down and concoct
master (business) plans for attaining all the things I actually desire, like drawing comics.
Ive only been at it for a few months, and in the last week alone, Ive actually managed to
bang out a 40-page issues worth of both rough thumbnails and substructure (panels) for
the most part. Ch. 2 doesnt have any actual art in it yet. Only panels. Im saving that for
when I have a bit more reference material handy.

Auuggh! Hide from your computer, or youll end up on the news!

The farther away I get from DA, ASMB, and WCNas seems to happening, almost as
though on cuethe less and less I feel like I actually want to return to those so-called
thrones and come back. I might never return. Those places are too dishonorable for
whatever little amount of status I have attained, which is still something, even if it is only
40 pages of sub-structured sequential art and future art.
Movies I want to watch on DVD (because I doubt Id see it in the theatre):

Tim Burtons 9
Avatar
The Imaginarium of Doctor Ponassus
District 9
Alice in Wonderland
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
Watchmen
Ang Lees version of The Hulk

In terms of the way I use darks, or inks on clothing and composition, Bruce Timm and
Frank Miller are not my only influences. Toulouse-Lautrecs use of black paint in his art
prints were also a big influence. I remember checking a book out from the library a few
years back, when I was researching his work. I found his prints so beautiful.
If I draw panels for 1 hour everyday, or at least close to a consistency rate comprised of
that much, Ill be that much closer to having cleaned up comics, or at least thumbnails
and gesture sketches, and Ill be a lot better with a ruler, at least on panel mileage.
Hmm. They seem to JUST NOW be noticing on the ASMB that I have Asperger
Syndrome. Which is odd, because I never really brought it up there, and if I did no one
lingered on it if I did bring it up, hence me not remembering the act of talking about it if I

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ever did, which I doubt. I also have manic depression and Adult ADD, but they dont
seem to talk about those things much. Now my or whoevers it is Asperger condition is a
big discussion topic there. It is weird to see how people misjudge you based on nothing
more than a few paragraphs you write online here and there, and old school records
someone has somewhere, based on when you actually went to school.
After how poorly shes handled anime in the last few years, Kim Manning is probably
going to drop off my anime faves list. She maybe be good to the fans but why do I
feel like I am not one of those fans, even when I am?
Yeah, I love 9-11 conspiracies!
Thats weird.
Its kind of hard to understand why they believe that, but there actually seems to be one
or more person online that think my life story is a work of fiction, that I just made the
whole thing up to manipulate people in my favor. Something along those lines. Well,
actually Im not expecting to win everyone over to my side. Doubters have a right to
doubt. Honestly, I dont remember trying to convince people of any kind of real
conspiracy. Honestly, I think there have been people who have conspired against me, yes,
but conspiracy entails real power, and usually things involving the government. Thats
not really my forte, government stuff.

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P a g e | 347

Chapter 9
(Windows XP)

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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Only 3 days or so until I get my paycheck. Thats going to be sweet.

I have power probably. I have the power to make the impossible real, in the real world at
least, mostly with engineering and technology. But there are different kinds of power, and
Im beginning to doubt I have the raw creative power people such as Alan Lee, Katsuhiro
Otomo, Moebius, and Syd Mead have to make an entire imaginary universe out of
nothing. To make a living visual world of splendor from scratch in other words. And
though Im pretty sure I have both Steve Blum and Katsuhiro Otomos blessing, I dont
know if I will ever measure up to their greatness. I wonder almost every opportunity I
have if I will ever be as good as them. Parallax is the only vehicle I can think of, in terms
of crossing that bridge and building that world on the other side of Time and Reality. Im
beginning to wonder what would happen if I literally did work as hard as the Japanese do.
First of all, I have doubts as to whether or not my current social reality will permit it. Is it
possible for me to work as hard as the Japanese do, for as long as they do each day and
night, without my parents and society harassing me all the way back to hell (hence
locking me and my power away in a mental institution), for no other reason than they
think Ive worked so hard Ive lost my mind, and for no other reason than that my
productivity scares them? In other words, will going at full power, which is basically the
international work ethic standard, whether its cranking up my libido or adrenaline, or
mania and grandiosity (delusions of greatness and grandeur, megalomania,
schizophrenia, psychosis destroy me? Or will it actually save me (from this horrible
life) by helping me reap what I sew? Thats what they think real power is) and running at
full power by never leaving my computer or sketchbook for days, weeks, and months on
end. Will my parents condemn and punish me and institutionalize me just for tapping into
my real life Super Powers. My parents dont even want me to admit I have incredible
physical and creative Powers.
Phil: So far you have nothing to show, NOTHING to show, NOTHING to show, nothing
to show, nothing to show, nothing to show.
Then I did have something to show. I showed him Mono:
HAHAHA! He looks like a pirate.
That goddam phrase, ever since Phil told me it, has haunted every corner of my existence
and mind ever since I wanted to get my own deal back in 2001. It was like I wasnt good
enough because I didnt have any material, and when I did have material it was never
good enough. No wonder I ended up on the web.

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I feel torn. I feel pulled in two or more directions. Im torn between failure as a comic
book artist and success as a comic book artist. And part of me is just pissed off that my
dad is still enough of an idiot to keep using shitty assed Windows XP software when
Vista doesnt even cost that much.
My parents have no lessons left to teach. Theyre fucking idiots. I should be teaching
them. Im the only one around this house that makes any sense anymore.
Somehow the internet is draining me of my spirit. The more hours I spend on there, the
less vitality I have.
I suppose Im just going to have to get used to not being able to publish every last piece
of art related to my character, even if the quality of it is improving.
My parents are delusional health nuts. Apparently, they think spending 24 hours on the
computer working on projects is bad, and yet they somehow find it acceptable to spend
15 years nonstop in a Central Florida suburb the most boring place on earth, and hardly
leave the house or travel very far away from it, if ever, if at all. My parents hate the idea
of driving long distances. Theyre global-phobic, not to mention travel phobic. Im
beginning to think theyre scared of leaving Central Florida, along with the south in
general, aka Hell.
When I turn on the TV, I want it to be good. I want it to be watchable and quality
entertainment. Unfortunately, more and more of it increasingly isnt. Its not even
entertaining, let alone high quality, deep, well executed, good intentioned, mature, calm
cool and collected, all there, or visually appealing. Most of it is the opposite of that.
Portable media:
DVDs
Streaming Video
CD Music
Computers
The Internet

The media has a response set in place for every time I attain a major achievement:
Every great and valuable achievement I attain gets devalued by someone or something in
the media once I attain it. As if my intangible wealth means nothing.
Every time I achieve a major success or powerful achievement, someone somewhere
wants to disqualify me. Instead of seeing the success for what it is: Success, my critics
would rather refute the value of it entirelyWhy? Because someone like you attained
it, which is just idiotic.

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Sword and Trenchcoat, manga style, is basically my trademark. And a symbol of my

styles power.
Im a fantasy kind of guy:
Theres Dark Power Fantasy (Akira, Moebius, Elric)
City Fantasy (Ghost in the Shell, Akira, Blade Runner, Star Wars)
Sword and GunCoat Fantasy (Trigun, Conan, Spawn)
I love darkness in art. I love Dark Story-Based Art. Its kind of my thing.

I firmly believe swords and trenchcoats of all colors and formsbut especially katanas
and black coatswill be just as integral to the American, Chinese, Korean, and Japanese
manga worlds as capes and spandex tights are to superheroes, Marvel Comics, DC, and
whatnot. Im remote viewing the future of the comics industry as I write this, and right
now, what Im getting a vision of is the Yu-Gi-Oh modern day cape and cloth list,
except its in manga form: Not just anime franchises.

Parallax: The Dark Blade is really shaping up. I constantly kick myself whenever I
realize Im not the one who created Elric and the Multiverse, and his Elrics Black Blade.
So I create the next best thing: My own interpretation of the Elric and Middle Earth
Universes: Mono and his Dark Blade. Kind of like Batman The Dark Knight. Except
hes got a Sword with both dark and light spirituality. Parallax is the governments
codename for the raw power of Jubeis powerful and destructive warrior spirit. Mono is
basically my own Elric fanfiction and Fanart, along with DBZ/Batman/Yu-Gi-Oh fanart,
in the same way you could say Cerebus and TMNT and Sin City are Conan fanart.
The good news? People arent just inspired by my character. Theyre also very inspired
by the long and arduousand often laboriousepic journey to make that thought a
reality. People have always wanted to know what makes a visionary tick.
Thats nice. You talk loud. But I talk louder. And I talk louder in numbers. So fuck you
guys.
Shit Piling up My DATABASES OF STUFF:

Earthlink Favorites (Bookmarks)

Laptop Favorites
DVD Wallet
Box set pile
DVR recording list (need to be put on DVD)
Book pile

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Stacks of shitty papers

Ripped video folder
YouTube Favorites
Yahoo Inbox
Wikipedia records
Google Search Results
Google Books
DeviantART anime and manga section
MyAnimeList.com
AnimeNewsNetwork.com
Amazon.com book/comics/DVD/music Wishlist
Windows Vista Media Center
Microsoft Word Documents (both comps)
Microsoft Digital Image Pro JPEGs, etc.

Favorite things (words I say a lot):

Entertaining Academic Television
Iconic History
My Mom
Innocence
Kindness
Mature women
Nicole Cook, New School Female Role Models
Work, Hard Work, Play Work
Ghost in the Shell
Akira
Conan
Power Visions, Power Fantasies
Speed Metal
Fast Editing and Rhythm
Crying out of happiness or sadness
Getting in touch with my emotions
Moving moments
Happy Endings
Narrative
Epic Storytelling
Mythopoeia
YouTube

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Interactivity
A Good Future
None Scary thing
Action, Fighting, Martial Arts, Weapons, Violent Entertainment, Blood
Cool Things
Ingeniously Designed, Engineered, and Masterminded things
Justice
Revenge on Bullies
Humor, (not comedy. Thats too obvious)
Laughing maniacally
Peanut Gallery Commentary
Class Clowning

New Millennium Post-2000 Commentary

There were a lot of notable celebrities, bands, entertainers, producers, directors, artists,
writers, who were discovered, hit their stride, and broke out in the 1990s and 80s. But
what about the New Millennium. Truth is, most of the notable people who were about on
the scene in the last ten years were also around in the 90s as well, even if they werent as
prestigiously ranked last millennium, even if they werent as famous then back in the 90s.
I mean sure, a lot of pop culture and new celebrities have manifested in the last ten years,
but the truly sad part is, none of them can measure up to or even compare to the previous
generation that preceded them, with rare exceptions.
Dont get me wrong. A lot of stuff has happened in the first 10 years of the New
Millennium. But not a lot of new faces have appeared, other than perhaps Larry Page,
Chad and Steve of YouTube, and Barack Obama. I admire all those guys.
New Animation Auteurs:
Aaron McGruder
The Avatar Team
Sean Akins and Jason Demarco
Steve Blum
Dan Green
Shinichiro Watanabe
Frederator
Marathon Animation
Mamoru Oshii
Ed Katmul
Shinya Ohira
Shoji Kawamori

How famous are the genres, categories, mediums, and general systems Ive influenced:

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Post Apocalyptic Action

Anime
Manga
OEL Manga
Cartoon Network
Toonami
Adult Swim
YouTube
Streaming Anime Online
DVD Authoring
Internet Message Boards
Cowboy Bebop
Steve Blum
Dragon Ball Z

Honestly, I think my influences fame has transcended that of Adult Swim. YouTube gets
75 million results in a Google search. Adult Swim gets 1 million. Theyre apparently just
barely hanging on when it comes to the internet. They just dont want to admit anime is
more popular than the AS programming block.
Google-related sites now get approximately 1 billion video streams a day.

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Google and YouTube get:

1 billion views a day
7 billion views a week
30 billion views a month
365 billion views a year
Its gets more than 50 times the patronage of any other video service.
I do a lot of free work for YouTube. I have been working for YouTubeor at the very
least, co-designing content for them (and DeviantART, and Adult Swim of course)
since right around YouTubes inception.
Id estimate 5 to 10 to 20 million people have channels on YouTube, though my
calculation could be off by quite a bit

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Out of the entire internet, er, I mean 1 billion people around the world, in six continents
that watch a billion videos a day, only 1% of those 1 billionor at least hundred
millionor so lurkers actually contribute a lot of content. In other words, only 10 million
users, members, or channel owners on YouTube contribute the majority of videos that get
seen 1 billion times each day on YouTube.

Site Name My statistical rareness Amount of people on the site

ASMB: 1% rule (8 million served)
YouTube: 1% rule; content co-designer, co-developer (1 billion served)
Google Search: 1% rule (most visited site on the web. No. 1 in the hood, G)
Tokyopop: 1% rule (millions)
WCN: 1% rule (millions)
Wikipedia: Lurker
DeviantART: Lurker

Topics of interest:
New book I got:
Perspective For Artists by Rex Vicat Cole, original publication date: 1921.
Animation Magazine write ups on:
The Princess and the Frog
Marathon Animation 10 Year Anniversary (Totally Spies, Martin Mystery, Gormiti)
A.S. DVD-On-Demand Online Store

I do like companies and studios like Marathon and Williams Street and Nicktoons.
Companies that prove homegrown animeor a reasonable facsimile thereof: Martin
Mystery, IGPX, Avatar, and GI Joe: Resolutecan be done.
One recent pastime and hobby of mine is digging through my massive personal DVD
collection of TV shows and movies of various sorts, mostly anime, all those discs and
whatnot, almost half of which were authored or recorded to disc from either television,
other DVDs, or the computer, all by me, the DVD author and engineer.
Im considering taking a page out of the DeviantART and Blogger handbook, and starting
to log what Im watching and listening to. So here goes.
Currently Watching:
DVD: Xavier: Renegade Angel (DVD); Digimon: Data Squad DVD, Code Geass
TV: Johnny Test; Super Hero Squad

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A famous person once said:

Before a thousand articles can be written about you and your full time showbusiness
career, a thousand and one articles must be written about the career of someone just like
you in some way.
I really need to learn the ultimate test in patience and compassion:
Learning compassion and tolerance for the business men and women who steal from me
creatively and strategically. If I can tolerate these people, I can tolerate ANYone in
showbusiness. If you can tolerate thievery without having to resort to lawsuits, you have
learned the ultimate patience. But damn it truly is a test of my patience. Theyre stealing
from me and my brand, theyre not asking permission to steal, and trying to steal from
my branded style, and still expecting to make a profit off of it and get away with it
somehow. Its like theyre asking me to ruin them in retribution by making examples out
of them out of sweet sweet revenge.
But no, in a plagiarism situation like this, I must take the ultimate high road: Not
overreacting. They dont like it when I steal from them to send a message by putting
videos of their shows on YouTube, like Ive been known to do. So why would they think
Id make an exception when they instigated doing the exact same property crime to me in
one sense in the very beginning, when I first got my original and innovative ideas.
In one sense, its very complex: No one likes an artist that threatens everyone into
acknowledging them, or not stealing from them, as some DA artists phrase it in similar
ways. Heavy handedness can be a big turn off to fans. And yet limits and boundaries
must be set. There are lines no man or girl should cross. Like stealing from another artists
livelihood against their will. For starters.But then again, maybe theres a reason certain
unnamed artists and designers have done what theyve done. Maybe they see where Im
at as where it really is the best place to be, objectively speaking. I know I feel that way
sometimes. But if where Im at is so special, how come they never point things things out
to me. Write me an email some time, even if its from an anonymous source or passed
along discretely. There are ways for artists to communicate with one another where I
dont have to be left in the dark about things like this. But its more the fact that I was left
in the dark about the real situation that mostly gets to me, more so than any amount of
money I could get. I mean if I really wanted money, I could probably get it, just wait
around for the tech industry to catch up with me a few years down the road (aka 10 years
or more from now of course). But while theres that much time to wait around for
everyone else to catch up to me in the long run, I dont know how long I have left in my
life to wait. Period. I could die an early death of a heart attack for all I know, and my
prophecy would go unfulfilled.

Currently watchng: Star Wars: Clone Wars (DVD)

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Things of recent times, that manifested on the mainstream, that I never saw coming:
Toonami, Dragonball Z, Naruto, co-pros, DVD, webcomics, the explosion of anime and
Cartoon Network, the explosion of piracy, the explosion of manga in America, YouTube,
the media turning on me, digital animation and Pixar.

On the subject of YouTube, which I have been on all day, probably because the end of
the first decade is nearing, YouTube is innovative, and highly talked and buzzed about in
various places, even five years after its debut.
I mean, theres no denying it, Googles YouTube has been as integral and revolutionary
to online video in the beginning of the Twenty-First Century as D.W. Griffiths early
pioneering filmmaking work was to Hollywood, movie making, and filmmaking in
general in the beginning of the Twentieth Century. Its been another historic decade for
world history, and much of it involves the internet and cinema of all sorts, animated, live
action, and otherwise.
The early 1900s had D.W. Griffiths new film grammar and system.
The early 2000s have YouTube new web video grammar and system.
It only gets better, more evolutionary, and more revolutionary from here, in my opinion.
How do I fit into to all this, you ask? Well, lets just say Im the guy who never learned
the difference between movies, comics, and television animation. I got them all mixmatched into one hybrid visual narrative style, typically three to four or so vertically
based elongated panels on each page, all shot in camera angles like a live action
Hollywood movie, with some references to and hints of avant-garde cinema, film noir,
and Japanese animation, or anime. Im very proud of how far Ive come in my career,
despite the lack of funding for the most part other than social security checks, for being
incompetent at living life like a normal person.

Watching:
Chaotic: Marillian Invasion (DVD);
Pokemon: Archeus and the Jewel of Life (TV)
So, Peggy is having surgery on her back again I think. It sucks, but Im pretty sure she
has to go through it.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

This hour, and this time, 11:30 is in the hour of the last day of the last year of the first
decade of 2000. 30 more minutes to go and well all have that insane decade behind us,
for better or worse.

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Friday, January 01, 2010

Well, that didnt take very long. New Years was fun. Lots of fireworks around the
neighborhood, which I actually didnt mind too much, had some beer, had some whine.
Havent gone to sleep yet. Im considering moving to Colorado, in a big two story house,
somewhere near the Rockies, and just abandoning Central FL, mostly due to the fact that
I hate most of the assholes that have moved into here. Anywhere is better than being
around those dickwads and dipshits.

Since Ive been drawing the so-called uncopyrighted public domain Black Anime
Trenchcoat Look since around 2004, when I created my first design, which was actually
based on Gendo Ikaris jacket from Eva, but I came up with the ingenious design to
change the head and extend and accentuate the flares of Gendos Jacket, Mono has turned
out very different indeed. For his face and hair, gave him a Grown up Calvin look,
from Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin had spikey hair long before Ichigo, much like Mono in
the United States. A lot of artist in anime have copied the black cloak look since I created
and designed it as a costume. That just cements my reputation as a modern day designer
of great importance for the future of anime and animation as well as comics and manga in
general. Its hard to believe, with The Matrix and Neo out there, even with the anime coproduction, The Animatrix, which ironically has no Neo-like black trenchcoats in it
either, much to my surprise. However, in retrospect, Im sure if they were made aware of
what I was working on at the time, even the Animatrix crew would have tried to hash out
a half hearted Mono-rip. And theyre the Matrix people.
But the truth is, before I started drawing Mono, there were no black trenchcoat-wearing
male leads in anime that played a major role in the story and plot of the manga or anime.
There were trenchcoats of other colors: Red, gray, white. But never pitch black and silky
like the angular Batmans cape in his model sheets from The New Batman/Superman
Adventures. Thats an invention of my own creation. No small feat. Im quite proud of
this achievement, because there are a lot of artists in Southeast Asian animation and
comics that draw this way now. Its amazing. Its amazing to think my designs were that
inspiring to them in some way, and if it wasnt my work that inspired them to do stuff
like Code Geass and Darker Than Black, and Strait Jacket, it was still someone before
them who saw my work on the web somewhere, either on Deviant Art, Tokyopop, or my
webcomics.
Before me, I studied stuff like X/1999, and Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust. People in
Japan had thought to use sword wielding characters in all black, and even have them
wearing fancy and silky black suits with a black cape (X/1999), but no one thought to
combine the two elements: Suits and capes, and just assume the flares of the coat will
pass for enough of a black cape, whether its like Batman or Vampire Hunter D.
Like I was saying, it doesnt matter how many disrespectful, creepy, and pathetic knockoffs of Mono appear on DeviantART. Everyone still knows Im the only one that isnt a

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thief, that draws Mono, and theyre not. Theyre just some losers riding my coattails who
no ones heard of. Mono is a Buddhist. He is not interested in worldly desire.
New Subject to research online: HOW to deal with difficult people

About perspective in art:

Perspective is one of the hardest fundamental elements to learn in all of art and drawing.
Talk of vanishing points, horizon line, tracing paper, rulers, foreshortening
and converging lines can stump, confuse, and defeat even the best of us character
designers. But if you want to make a successful comic, successful epic anything, with
successfully high production values, perspective is just something you have to learn, even
if no one teaches it to you and you are self taught. The two generations of international
artists that understood perspective the best would probably have to be the Italian
Renaissance generation, led by Leonardo da Vinci, and the Tokyo animation and comic
book revolution in Japan, led by Osamu Tezuka and Katsuhiro Otomo. Nearly all comic
book artists in Japan have a thorough understanding of perspective, unlike the sorry sacks
here in my own country, including myself. My art may have a lot of successful concepts
with poor execution, but the perspective, looking back, is utterly lacking. Not so much
my architecture in and of itself, but the perspective itself. My drawings rarely have any
real weight or gravity to them. And even DBZ has gravity, despite all the flight sequences
Akira Toriyama draws.
What do Bone, Akira, and Cerebus all have in common? Though vastly different in
nature, they all seem to use the same analytical and artistic technique at certain spots. All
three of them use a horizon line to establish the background textures and form in the
widest camera shots possible. Part of how they get it to look so epic is having background
that is guided by a clear or partially clear view of distant horizon lines to begin with. I
believe its referred to as illustrated aerial perspective. Its a great way of establishing
visual distance and depth in camera shots as part of comics that often go on forever. Just
use aerial perspective-based shots.
And in manga, speed-lines are all very calculated lines, nearly always drawn with a ruler,
and all converging on a vanishing point with their grid or converging lines. So
manga uses perspective-esque methods not only for its point of speed-line intensity, but
also for its point of perspective line convergence (converging point).
Even real architecture, real live action film with real actors (like Tokyo and Blade Runner
and Lord of the Rings), and CGI Hollywood movies like Star Wars and other big budget
CGI movies adhere to the laws of perspective most of the time. Understanding
perspective as it relates to art and drawing is like understanding English and typing as
they relate to writing and literature, or computers and HTML as they relate to the
internet. Youre learning the basic understructures of the medium. If you dont
understand the fundamentals, it can ruin both youre projects execution and its aesthetics.

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I used to be terrified of painting landscapes. Particularly because it involved learning

perspective and painting. But now I actually really want to explore all kinds of aerial
perspective drawings and sketches on both sketchbook and notebook paper.

I just realized what makes my influence in the animation world so special. Not since Walt
Disney, Maya Deren, Spielberg, George Lucas and Stanley Kubrick has an American
filmmaker in general (or in my case, an animation and comics filmmaker), let alone a
Floridian and Michiganian one, influenced Japanese popular culture this much. The
Black Cloakish Trenchcoat Look has actually really caught on in Japan, and for once its
not because of John Woo, Tarantino, or the Wachowski Bros. My look caught on in
Japan, and while they may not like the way I look in person, they certainly do like my
costume designs. DeviantART has aided this evolution of multicultural design. Man, no
wonder Otomo paid homage. If theres one person who can make artistic and stylistic
influence work both ways, it would be me and my black ink pens. Thats a huge honor
and privilege to know I was the one that did that and got to do that. Im one of the first
major artists in the United States to cause the gravitational pull of artistic influence to
travel back over the Atlantic Ocean, from the United States to Europe China, Korea, and
Japan. I mean, seriously, who else in the OEL or world manga scene outside of Williams
Street and Franime can make that claim? I might not have the same amount of love,
power, and respect in my home country as the icons, but the people in the know, know.
Its sort of like controlling the power of gravitational pull, controlling influence like that.

If theres one thing I hate, its being creatively stifled. And I get more than enough of
that.

You know, its actually kind of fun teaching myself how to learn and draw and
incorporate perspective into my repertoire based on a Perspective for Art book that was
initially published in 1921. Im supreme old school like that.

In three days, after nonstop studying of the book, Ive read and underlined 57 pages out
of Perspective For Artists, in less than three or four days
Speaking of stuff from Amazon: Coming soon:

Samurai and Ninja Action Scene Collection

Wolfs Rain box set
Yukikaze box set
Boogiepop Phantom box set
.Hack//SIGN DVD
2 more Perspective book

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JM was lost in life. Until he discovered anime at the video rental store one day. Then
from that day on, he loved anime. But he would later find out, that anime, its
community, and its world, didnt always love him back. As a matter of fact, sometimes
people in the anime industry spoke of how much they hated him with a passion, and
thought of him as nothing more than a poison in the anime world, poisoning the
industry. He never let that stop him though. He just kept on doing his thing
To be continued

Now I know why I have no problem getting a million words of word processor mileage
out of myself each day, whereas if I do one tenth that amount with my art, I feel
physically exhausted and drained. I dont know whether its because of genes,
temperament, zodiac sign, Myers Briggs Type, mania, depression, ADD or Aspergers.
But no matter which way you slice it, experiencing real authentic, and actual emotions is
like a roller coaster ride for me. Its often too intense and scary for me to handle. Im very
sensitive emotionally. Experiencing emotions is so powerful its draining and exhausting
for me. If I approached it from an analytical point of view like I do my journaling, if I
wrote and drew everything from an analytical perspective more than an emotional one, I
might be able to get 10 times more work done. My analytical mind is a lot more powerful
than my emotional mind, or at least a lot more stable. Psychic emotions are powerful, but
they are also physically and psychologically draining. Arguments and nearly any kind of
emotional creativity whether its music or art, take a whole 24 hour days worth of energy
out of me, meanwhile Ive built up this whole system of stamina, momentum, and
endurance on the left, unemotional, intellectual, and analytical side of my brain. Maybe
thats it. Maybe I just have to figure out how to get a lot more emotional work done (art
and design) in a non emotionally draining and non dramatic way. My emotions are
notoriously hard to control, especially the powerful ones. But Im beginning to suspect
there might be a way to harness all this powerful and empathic or just plain emotional
energy. Well that explains why I get so depressed when people online insult my artwork.
Its not because I dont have a thick skin. I do in a certain way. But probably due to my
spiritually mystic and emotionally psychic abilities, I constantly remember feeling
depressed in an emotional way. I guess I am sort of emo, but not by choice. No wonder
Ive been so afraid to show off my artwork. Its not just because of plagiarism, though
Im sure that factors in. If one of my drawings gets criticized or insulted, directly or
indirectly, due to how intense and unstable my emotions are at times, especially when I
dont meditate and am manic or depressive, a criticized or insulted drawing almost
always equals a hurt feeling with me. Boo. The musics bad and so you should feel
bad.

Well, Ive only owned it for 4 or so days, give or take, but in that short time, Perspective
For Artists has proven itself to be one of the most useful art instruction books Ive ever
owned. Its hard to get distracted by, well, almost anything, when the reading is this

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compelling. Im on page 83 currently. Didnt take very long to get this far.Actually, I
need to update. Now Im on page 96 of the book, and the book is around 260 pages long.

Ive been developing the final version of my own comic book illustration style,
practicing and mastering it, probably, for around 4, 5, or 6 years now. I started off with
character designs, but lately in the last two or three years alone, Ive been expanding
outward in my developmental areas of focus and have gradual come to acquire better
skills at panel composition, architecture, and perspective, as well as sketching with a
pencil. I still dont feel like my work is professional, ingenious, or international looking
enough, which are all trademarks of the Southeast Asian school of design. That and
France. If I can teach myself to eventually be a more simplified stylistic version of them,
Id be happy with that.

2010 is not just the Year of the Tiger. It is also the year of the corporate showbiz
acquisition, apparently. Lots of companies in showbusiness are either joining or being
acquired and purchased by other media companies:
Want examples?
Show Brothers is licensing certain titles it owns to Funimation
Disney bought Marvel
Fox is joining with Time Warner
Naruto Shippuden got licensed by Disney XD
Viacom is buying Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Im sure there will be a lot more further developments in those areas

This may or may not be the first time this has happened, but
More than 6 of the top 10 selling Amazon.com manga bestsellers in the Amazon manga
pages, are world manga, also known as American manga. One of them is a book Ive
actually been meaning to pick up myself: Tokyopops Warcraft: Death Knight. That one
looks to be just a little extra awesome.
Lot of personal shit has been going down in my life recently that I dont care to go into,
thats kind of slowed me down but that I have to learn to accept nonetheless if I want to
survive. Things involving the health and well-being of family members in my family. I
dont care much to talk about it. Lets just say Im going through a significant life
experience right now. And you can make all the international number one bestseller book
lists in the world, and you can get as far ahead in life as youd ever dreamed to, but, your
parents are still going to die someday and leave you all alone, whether you want them to
or not. Younger artists dont seem to understand the key life issue that you encounter

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when you get older and reach a certain point of maturity. Things I never used to care
about, suddenly I care about more than anything else. Thats lifeI guess.
It will probably happen as soon as I write this (whoops) but there doesnt seem to be a lot
of chaos going on in the world right now, at this very moment. Not enough shit stirrers
working in the news I suppose. Not enough spectacle and sensationalism, I presume. Or
maybe Im just not watching any news so I wouldnt know. Either way its been a quiet
day, for the most part.
You know whats really good. Anxiety Attack fear induced temporary seizure twitches.
Thats always fun. Please take note if you are reading this in your textbook.
Apparently, the media is not content with just putting look-alikes on the national and
local TV media as well as the local papers. Now theyre sending out pamphlets too. Even
though it was addressed to Dad, I took a lighter and lit my copy on fire. Burn in hell lookalikes in the media. Id burn it ALL down with a lighter if I could. Burn that whole clone
media empire down to the ground with that same lighterif I could. If I see any of you in
person Ima light your ass up. Now my pamphlets all crumpled up before my Dad even
got a chance to read it. Ho-hum. Oh yeah! And it smells like smoke too! Cuz thats how I
roll.

Childhood: Nowadays I dont remember it well enough to say one way or the other.
Adolescence: I had a rough adolescence. I was not a happy teenage boy, but I did have
my moments. Bullies. Depression. Fear. Anxiety. Classmates. Weight. Physical ailments.
Mania. Brian. Rejection.
Adulthood: Loneliness. Passion. Confusion. Persecution. Racism. Bad health. Weight.
Isolation. Neighbors. Hackers. Technology. Stalkers.

Im afraid Im fresh out of self-pity. I really just wanted to leave something incredible
behind for all of history, you know, future generations. But little did I know Id end up
the pity case of the decade. And a lot of people profiteered off of that pityexcept me.
I dont know why the corporate president made it an unspoken rule that anyone is
allowed to hack into my files and exploit my writing labors for free. I neither want to nor
plan on working for free for the rest of my life. Ive already basically cut the laptop out of
my life. What kind of Hollywood nutjob assumes I want to work for no pay.

Hipira is a partial reference to me. Im glad Otomo is directing the anime as well. Its his
sequel to Akira. And I know its about me too. Either theres another artist and creator
out there who draws gothic cloaked cartoon characters that are part of the manga

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aesthetic, or its me. Actually, not even Invader Zim and Dr. Seuss were gothic,
technically speaking. Zim is more crazy sci-fi than anything else.
New Story concept:
Mono and Co. investigate a right-wing tough-minded special unit criminal investigator,
the famous Elroy Jonathan, after he murdered his wife and two children in the most
grotesque, demonic, and sadistic fashion possible after he got paranoid and suspected
them of carrying a demon gene, as he seems to enjoy calling it. He believes all demons
should be annihilated, but goes about his plans of destroying what he perceives as evil,
much differently than The Task Force of Shadow Op. 7, run by Noah, who is one of an
avowed rival and general enemy of Elroy, due to a disagreement over his rather evil
politics.

There are advantages to being an action filmmaker. Action filmmaker has got certain
advantages on comedic animation. You can do quite a few things in action animation and
action anime that you just cant do in Disney-esque over-simplified comedy animation.
Ill list some of them:

Firearms and shootouts.

Mature situations
Blood spillage
Martial Arts portrayal
Fighting sequences
Intensity
Aesthetics of violence
Characters, themes, and content for mature audience, instead of just young
audiences

There are certain things you can do with action that you cant do with other genres and
mediums in entertainment

About an hour or two ago, I was in the house, alone, completely alone, and finally, for the
first time in long time, I had silence. I had peace. With no outside influences trying to
interfere like theyve been known to. It was Zen-like, the ambiance on my street. I just
wish every day could be this peaceful and good. Usually when the whole familys here,
they raise and make a lot of ruckus, and it is annoying. Now Im starting to feel like Im
less of the cause of all of that. I dont blame the chaos on them because its not just them;
its the whole state, country, and world. I got my samurai book today too.
In my opinion, with Barack Obama as president, hes been doing so much good, winning
the Nobel and things like that, that hes got so much power now hes becoming a symbol
of society, a new paradigm icon. Hes the link between the world now and how the world
is going to be decades from now. With him in charge, the U.S. has a better chance than

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ever to become as mature of a country as Europe, Eurasia, China, and Japan, true leaders
in world affair and maturity. Barack is a role model for people like me, and a paradigm of
a civilized and mature society, for civilized and mature societies everywhere, from now
to forever. He cant escape that destiny toward greatness. It is his now and forever. He
cant evade what he is. Its in his nature, in his humanity, and that shines through, for he
is a presidential beacon of light in a decade that at times was very much filled with
darkness, especially during the first two to four years.

Currently my blog pageviews are at 180 hits and counting

I think I have it figured out finally, after years of searching.

I have the potential to be a master. Not a professional. Not a hotshot. A Master. I have the
potential to be one of the first true American Shonen-Seinen Master Storytellers of the
New Millennium. Using my unique indie comics style, I could craft something truly
dynamic, intense and remarkable. It could be Akira and Blade of the Immortal meets
Dragonball Z! That would be amazing! If I could reach that level, I truly could be a
master of storytelling. And then comics wouldnt be as challenging as they are now. But
with all the competition out there, why complain? I want to master showing fighting and
whatnot on paper, in visual narrative form, and make the feel and impact of it as powerful
and virtuosic as possible (i.e. Dragonball Z). I mean, yes, there is the epic and postapocalyptic science-fantasy big city backdrop, but when you get right down to it, its an
action book, like Kenshin, Yu Yu Hakusho, Air Master or Kenichi: The Mightiest
Disciple. Its a book about beating the crap out of your opponent. Strategic fighting
moves. Kung-fu, etc. I simplify my content, and dont over-intellectualize it to give it a
wider demographic appeal. If the whole thing was one big Philosophy 101 Lecture
Session like my journal and essays were in the past, Id lose 80% of my audience, and I
dont have much of an audience to lose. I have around 15,000 online readersif that.
Which is good by indie comic book standards (A popular indie print book sells around
10,000 or a bit more in comic shops if its doing well), but not very good by manga,
anime, and Hollywood numbers and figures. Unfortunately, I hate to fess up, but with a
lot of these cats in America who are drawing manga on sites like DA, they seem to be
missing out on just what the Japanese version of manga is truly supposed to be about.
Theyre missing the point, not me. Theyre missing the fact that manga isnt just about
inking and photoshopping illustrations with flashy textures and colors, and no horizon
line. Thats a superficial rendition of the medium, and only approaching it from an
illustrators perspective doesnt do it justice. Not when no ones actually drawing any real
actual sequential art, with weapons and action sequences. Where is the action? Where is
the intensity and the fast movement with speed lines? Its not there in those works. And it
is unfortunate. I believe that is why American manga is often not getting the respect it
deserves internationally. I want to master these elements before my competitors truly get
a chance to even figure out what theyre doing wrong and get a chance to catch up to me.

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You know, as far as I know, the anime and animation industry is mostly white people.
There is still a lot of discrimination out there. I honestly dont know if the animation
industry worldwide is really ready to accept an animation auteur or power player of color,
especially one that is partially Arab-American. No wonder I dont want my face on TV. It
reminds me of why I didnt want that to happen. Because of discrimination. People arent
used to it.
Every time I ask, who will appreciate this posthumously about one of my gifts, the first
word that would always come up was journals. But unfortunately, the journals are a
little to intimate. They get caught up too much in day to day minutia to be considered real
literature. What people are REALLY going to want to see after Im dead is my essays,
my artwork, and my comics. Up until this point I was only thinking of nonfiction in terms
of contributions to future generations. Now Im much more realistic in what will appeal
to future audiences. Comics and depth. Not day to day minutia.

Just about all, if not all, of my friends have faded out of my life. I havent forgotten them,
but still. I miss hanging out with my old friends. Chris, Johnny, Amanda, Jason,
Jonathan, Phil, Rima, Nicole.
The only teacher-mentor I have currently is Donna the painter.
My brother is not exactly social anymore. Its like he doesnt have any friends anymore
other than Mom, Dad, me, and his wife. Its weird how unwilling he is when it comes to
pursuing new friendships and relationships
Part of why I went into animation and comics, and started to use the web was to find new
relationships and friendships. Ive resisted the urge to go on Yahoo Instant Messanger
and MySpace, even though Ive been on both of those websites in the past. I havent
made any new friends since art school, which is where I met Nicole Cook.

I won an award in 09. Time magazine honored me with the title of Most Un-Photogenic
Celebrity of the Decade Award, narrowly beating out Billy Joe Armstrong of Green Day
and Richard Simmons of Sweatin to the Oldies. Tee hee fucking hee.

You would think with the way people over-react in hostility to giving my content views
online on any site but YouTube, WCN, or Blogger, youd think I was charging them
money to see this stuff or something.

You know it really sucks having no friends and being unpopular. Im an expert at this
very subject. No one wants to associate with me because my rivals have more charisma
than I do. People keep trying to use my face on TV through imitation as though using my
likeness was some kind of good luck charm. Rub my hair and you get good luck! No.

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I really need to stop defending myself from attacks. If my parents, brother, friends,
colleagues and fans dont care enough about me to defend my honor from insult by
people I dont even know, then I guess I dont care about them either.
I know there seems to be a rivalry developing between superheroes and manga. But
which one reigns supreme in the bookstore market. Which one sells more in bookstores,
which genre makes it onto more bestseller lists? I suspect manga has been doing better in
bookstores than superheroes. But that is just a suspicion.
As for manga vs. superhero books, I believe manga storytelling is a great content
alternative to superheroes, outside of and other than independent comic books. You can
still draw many appealing things like fighting and action in manga comics in America
without having to rely on those annoying capes and tights. And you dont have to make
your protagonist kill his own supporting cast, either. That seems kind of rude and
obnoxious to me, looking back on certain artists.
But yeah, manga is the one way to make a decent living at drawing comics in America
without having to resort to superhero storytelling clichs, superpowers and all that. Ive
always believed just having powers (not superpowers) is good enough. Why use such
an dumb adjective when adding things on to your characters powerful abilities.
Super anything is lame.
Well, Im screwed. Everything in filmmaking is a family business. If you dont have a
biologically connected and creative or intelligent family like some people, you dont have
a career. I have no connections. Im never going to make it in showbusiness, or business
for that matter. Ill just continue getting exploited and ripped off without compensation
for the rest of my life. Gee, paying me. What a radical Hollywood idea! Too bad no
one is smart enough to do such a thing.

Apparently, my horoscope thinks Im trying too hard. Im either succeeding too much
or failing too much. Or both. I just dont know anymore. I must be putting too much
effort and energy into all of this. Its exhausting.

I love Yen Press. And Tokyopop. Yen Yen Yen. Love it.

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Im interested in checking out these:

Soul Eater
Cat Paradise
Boichi
Black God
Night School
Black Butler
Zombie Loan
Crimson Shell
Darker Than Black
Ideal World
GA: Geijutsuka Art Design Class
Jack Frost
Laon
Moon Boy
Oninagi
Pandora Hearts
Raiders
Shoulder-A-Coffin Kuro
Spiral
S.S. Astro
Step
Other
Confidential Assassination Troup
Blade of the Immortal
.Hack//
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Felipe Smith
Priest
Trigun / Trigun Maximum
Bleach

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Chapter 10
(Windows XP)

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Monday, January 11, 2010

From my INTP book:
Architectonics is the science of spatial relationshipsorganization, structure, build,
configurationand Architects are obsessed from a very early age with systems design.
They are also the architects of curricula, of corporations, and of all kinds of theoretical
systems. Architects design systematic structures and engineer structural models. They
look at the world as a place to be reshaped according to their designs. They work well
with systems and are obsessed with technology
Architecting is the process of designing models, 2-D, 3-D, and 4-D dimensional models.
Architects make structural plans, models, blueprints. Working alone at their desks, the
coherence of their design is what counts, the elegance of their configuration.

Theoretical Framework

The structure of a Cartoon Network

The structure of manga and anime
The Model Sheets of an international world co-production
The production process of a co-production revealed
The architectural structure and model of an online broadcaster
The architectureand visual surface textureof a media empire
The groundwork, model, and blueprints of a media empire
A media engineer (Internet) (Marshall McLuhan, Tim Berners-Lee)
How to build an empire and plan of sequential art.
Blueprints and model of a Epic Graphic Novel and Trade Paperback
Structure and Texture of an Epic Power fantasy
The configuration of a Franchise/Media Empire/Co-Production
Studio/Broadcaster

And 22, The Master Builder is also a similar theory like the INTP Architect, except it
kind of varies a little bit in the explanation.
The Master Builder is the visionary of a Media Empire of Websites, TV Shows, Movies,
and Comics. The configuration of all these structures

Its true. You should never meet your heroes.

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Themes traditionally illustrated by Southeast Asians:

Swords
Trenchcoats
Effects
Beacons of light
Fashion
Explosions
Fighting and Combat
Guns
Vehicles
Martial Arts
Speed

Historically, these themes have not been excessively portrayed by Americans during the
40s, 80s, and 90s.

If I fail, Im beginning to wonder what would become of my internet career. Or my TV

career for that matter. Some people already know who I am. But how will they react if I
fail, give up, go home and suddenly dont show up anymore, ever again? Now that Im
in the publics mind, even if indirectly, can they unimagine me?
Thank you world. I love you too.
Is my draftsmanship level publishable? IS MY DRAFTSMANSHIP LEVEL
PUBLISHABLE?? I think it most definitely is. I was told at the age of 13 by a local SLG
Publishing employee / comic book store clerkat an old comics shop in my townthat
my work is publishable. And that was 13 years ago. Print worthiness isnt the issue
here. Its now almost all about panels and storytelling. If the storytelling isnt coherent,
no one other than yourself will publish you. My work has been publishable at a national
level for more than 10 years running. I could get published fairly easily if thats what I
pursued, despite my parents. But Im still making an effort at mastering and refining my
craft. Im a perfectionist, so I guess it has to be perfect.
I know exactly what separates my bank account from the bank account of a famous
person: Luck.

From now on, from this point on, Im adding a horizon line and vanishing point dot to
ALL of my drawings and sketches. Or at the very least, the majority of them. It just really
adds that much to the quality and depth of my artwork.

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BOOKMARK
Historically speaking, unless you count post-Akira, post-Tezuka Japan, television
animation and linear perspective have never exactly been friends. There are more
television animated series in America, that pretty much have no perspective going on.
Especially with companies like Hannah Barbera. As a matter of fact, no classical-styled
show ever used perspective. Disney was in perspective, but thats because its film, not
TV. American television animation has a history of going the stylized route and pretty
much has disregarded the laws of perspective for many decades, until Batman: The
Animated Series came around with its Ted Blackman designed backgrounds, which gave
it a spatial depth of field within its world that few if any other shows had at the time. As
a matter of fact, epic visual narrative stories, in my opinion, are not even worth exploring
unless they incorporate perspective into their production design. If it doesnt use
perspective, realism-wise, chances are its going to look like shit. Like my early stuff. It
often looked like shit until I started learning perspective, for the most part.
Talking about something publicly typically means you dont care that youre
inflaming it, and inflaming the situation. Apparently a lot of people on TV have no
trouble attempting to inflame my non-union created situation.
This really sucks. I spent more than 7 years of my life developing a television network
concept for a network (Cartoon Network) that turned into nothing. Since it failed, that
partially why I started posting some of the imagery for that project to the internet:
because I lost hope.

In a certain sense, I JM have learned that not everyone has gotten to have the
opportunities Ive had. Ive kind of been born with a silver spoon in my mouth in some
ways, and Ive had a lot of stuff just handed to me. Not my talent though. Well, okay.
The talent too. My talent was a natural gift I was born with and developed at a very early
age
Soul Eater is a good manga and all, but there is so much fanservice in it, its borderline
hentai in numerous parts.

Were writers. If we could get women, we wouldnt be writers.

Anime has lost its meaning to me. I recently did a web search on Google for anime, and
what came up that I looked through didnt look anything at all like what I have in mind
when I say anime. Therefore I believe I will merely refer to it as Japanese animation.
Saying anime almost feels like saying a dirty word nowadays.

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Im beginning to think keeping those extra $70 dollars I have stashed away in my
walleta secret from my parents is a good thing. Normally my wallet has no money. But
from now on, Im considering taking my wallet, and the $70+ in it with me everywhere I
go, that way if I want to pay for a book, or DVD, or CD, or fast food, I can. Having
money is a great feeling. Having $70-$100 handy in my wallet just feels right.
With $70 handy, I have enough for the following things:

Shaman King box set

Most books
Food
Bamboo Swords
Shaw Bros. movies
6 manga paperbacks
Some anime box sets
My favorite old shows on DVD, like Sam and Max and other cult classics.

Theres a lot a guy can do with $70-$100.

Im getting just a little fucking sick of that one rule that say Joseph cant have money and
everyone else can. Fuck whoever thought of that rule. I have $70. In my wallet. And its
all mine. Until I buy stuff of course. Actually, at the end of this month, if all goes well,
the tally will be at approximately $170-$190 by the beginning of February.

I can make enough off of things like technology, DVD / video engineering and authoring,
web publishing, banner ads, inventing, home electronics, and internet Flash video that I
dont even feel like I even need to attempt making money at comics, animation, or
literature in general. I dont do those things to make any money anymore. Id starve if I
did that. The world is just waiting to sabotage and reject me if I even try to make a
profit from my creativity in an economic down period like this, so I just wont. I already
make plenty enough money from SS and the government. And as long as I keep my
mouth shut and never really open up to people about it, it looks to stay that way. How I
feed myself, afford rent, and survive will just have to remain a mystery to the inquiring,
over inquisitive masses.
Though I often dont feel that way, according to some, I am respected, liked, and
admired by many. It also says my work takes precedence over human contact.
Because of your desire to experience everything in life to its fullest before you let it go,
you may tend to overdo sensual experience such as sex, alcohol, drugs, and food
Instead of formal education, much of your wisdom comes from your tremendous range
of activities and your contact with people of many classes and races and walks of life.
This can put you in great demand as an alive and witty lecturer and teacher. You tend to
be flexible, progressive, and restless.

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You enjoy dreaming of accomplishments never before achieved, with yourself as leader
and promoter. People recognize your abilities.
I need to take things slower with my production process: 1 page a day, with lots of
reference used, IF THAT! No more than 1 page a week or month or so.
Yes, 1 page per week or month sounds perfect. And I can just build my energy and
consistency up from there.

Since there is no Adobe shareware anywhere to find on the web that I know of, I bought
my first piece of Adobe software today, after YEARS of saving up for it and anticipating.
There are three main softwarethat are very expensive, I might addthat I associate
with Adobe, the tool of the pros: Photoshop, Dreamweaver, and Flash. I now have one of
those. The possibilities of what I can do with computers with those software alone and
the material I already have is basically limitless, as long as I buy the right stuff.

Wow! Qubo is amazing for a kids animation network. Its just like CN and [adult swim],
but without all the lewd references on shows or their website! Hurray! Finally a network
without a dirty mind. Adult Swim has turned into Adult Stank. Qubo is like an actual real
network trying to actually be entertaining, but without all the mess and damage CN and
Nickelodeon and Disney have caused to the market! Hurray for lack of corruption! Qubo
may have some blatant Christian references, but nothing suffocating. Besides, they got
rid of Veggie Tales a long time ago. Its turning into quit the decent animation outlet.
Them, Sy-Fy, and Ovation are three of my new favorite channels.
Thats weird. My sixth sense is going off like crazy. My Attack of the 40 Feet Away
Super Creepy and Ominously Distant Yet Distinctly Violent Neighbors Sixth Sense is
going off again. I wonder if theyre plotting something. Do they plot how they insult
people? I know that feeling all too well. Its a sickening feeling of my stomach, like
something really bad is going on not far away, but I dont know what it is. Some very
creepy people live way too close to me for me to feel comfortable living here.
Tuesday
During Monday, yesterday, I was more busy yesterday than Ive been in a long time.
I:

Bought Flash Professionalat least I think it iswhich may or may not be the
right version
Argued with Cary
Tried to quell an argument between Andrew and Cary that was upsetting Mom
Did my best to keep up withand write aboutthe Haiti refugee and relief effort

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Kept up with the Adult Swim Message Boards (ASMB)

Watch the news on and off
Upload my live video premier to my uploading account on Veoh of Anime
Megamix III
Catch up on Ani-Mondays, mostly Monsters and Descendents of Darkness

Even with my meds, I wasnt able to fall asleep until 3 or 4 a.m. of this (Tuesday)
morning. I woke up this morning (Tuesday) around noon, or 12 p.m.

Secrets:
Ive written numerous books
Ive created, written, and drawn a webcomic
My YouTube site
My internet dominance
Working with Steve Blum
My Telly eligibility
Speaking to Jhonen Vasquez online
My Aspergers
My hospitalization
Being born in Michigan
Brian Johnston
My brother and parents life

Apparently, my local doctors office took my picture on their computer today, to protect
me from identity theft. If thats the truth, good.

The idea of Intrusion Prevention Systems seems interesting and worth learning. And
since Im good at systems, I might be good at it if put in the right circumstance.

This journal is closer to YIM than any actual kind of private thing.

Ive reached an entirely new level of stature and influence now. Now, I dont have to rush
myself, because if I do it could result in disorder and chaos on an epic scale, for no other
reason than the world is not prepared for it.
I uploaded a single simple as all dickens sketch to the most popular art-related
international website in the world, including Asia, and within less than 24 hours, within
less than 10 HOURS (!), there was at least over 40 different (if not a lot more) pale
imitation drawings, some of which went up in less than a minute after I posted mine.

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Now THATS power. No one said my name or used my avatar when they alluded to me
with their imitations, but then again, they didnt have to. Their blatant imitation and
similarities gave them away. Those Japanese are fast.
But seriously, I dont even have to do anything to be on peoples minds all the time
and have tons of good will on my side. Im a famous and powerful internet LEGEND,
one of the very first of my kindever! Thats the achievement of a lifetime! I could
wait 40 more years to put out a book and people would still know it was by me!
Because Im prominent, and there isnt any more of YOU denying it. I am what I am, and
what I am is BIG.
I wouldnt say Im power mad like some claim, unjustifiably. But I do derive a lot of
happiness and spiritual fulfillment from true power. True Power actually makes me really
high. Its like a drug to me, like smoking a joint. Im a little addicted to it, kind of like
hard work and strategy. Im addicted to those things too, often because they lead to
power. No doubt. I LIKE sitting back and doing nothing while simultaneously realizing
that Im also at the real center, as they say in the professional industry.
I am after all part of the real life Immortal Struggle Between the Forces of Good and Evil.
How could I NOT be integral to humanity.
BOOKMARK
Showing off my work on the computer = The death of its quality and stamina. There is no
quicker way to get sick of my own work than to make it public or on display, whether its
me doing it or someone else doing it secretly in an effort to sabotage me by encouraging
that very thing. I made the beginner mistake of putting my highest quality, favorite,
classic, and most labor intensive and detailed drawings in my scanner and
uploading them to my hard drive. Mistake No. 1 was that. The best art is a secret.
The best art is invisible and undetectable. Production art, conceptual art, and illustration.
My best artwork is always a sacred secret. No exceptions. If its scanned, someone
knows about it, and thats never good. Because that someone could be anyone. An
American toddler with no real wisdom or talent, a Japanese or Chinese teenager
with a lighting quick plagiarism ability and no respect for the law or her fellow
artists. It could be anybody, and it often is anybody: Anybody bad.
Ive just now realized not all of masterful artwork is creative, its just that the final
illusion makes it look that way. But with production design, painting, architecture,
photoshop, manga, and anime, a lot of it is just mindless tedium. The more detailed
you draw, the more tedious the process gets in the beginning. Im sure with a little
hard work, you can overcome this. But it is a test of patience and tolerance for mindless
details (the bells and whistles, as I call them). The millions of speedlines, and parallel
lines that make up the architecture and hatched action panels of books like AKIRA. How
does Otomo do it. Well, I doubt he does it in one day.

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My spiritual energy is manifested in some of my drawing abilities and basic 2-D

objects. Like swords, dual swords, fighting imagery, aerial perspective, trenchcoats,
guns, poses, design originality, and perspective.
Animation and comics have improved in Japan, France, and China in the last 50 years.
Not so much in the United States.
Clearly, my in person presence doesnt command respect, but my words written on a
screen or page, and my designs and concepts, do, somehow.
BOOKMARK
Doing pretty well. Im doing my self-required Daily Perspective Practice exercises,
familiarizing myself with perspective until it is easy, if not until a long time after. If its
not tedious in some way, even if its only drawing dozens of straight lines with a ruler,
then its probably not improving my skills. So in a way, tedious discipline is a good
thing. I used this technique on my writing style a long time ago. Now Im utilizing it to
be put to work on my art and meditation style.
Nothing is impossible. Impossible is nothing.
My rivals may be more popular than my allies, but that doesnt make them better than
my allies. It only means theyre more popular. And Id never join them anyway. I may
play their game every so often, when all is said and done they will never be able to call
me an ally. That honor is reserved for the people who actually deserve it.
Theres never been a failure vs. success struggle like mine before, in the case of this vs.
that, of my family vs. my success, or my family vs. my career.
I dont know why Im so drawn to studying underdogs, and aiding them in their pursuits.
Ive never known why Ive been so drawn to such people. I dont know whether its their
compelling universal struggle or the fact that I was and still kind of am one of them. But
it is so. Im also very in love with the idea of fighting, battling, and eventually killing and
basically destroying what symbolizes the establishment and status quo, just to achieve
getting the upper hand. That feeling of vindication is yet another natural high for me.
I find power napping during the day, afternoon, evening, or morning is helpful to my
creative process. Getting enough authentic rest (not antipsychotic medication
unconsciousness) is a brilliant way of dealing with, and stopping/curing-yourself-of
creative fatigue, stress, and creative burnout.
Types of exercise to do:
Sit-ups
Push-ups

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Jumping Jacks
Arm Rolls
Treadmill
How can you tell your losing weight:
If you sweat, suffer
I tried doing exercise. I can do a lot more jumping jacks than I can sit ups. I can barely
even do 5 sit ups in a row without getting incredibly tired and stressed.
I want to get back in shape. I want to live longer and look better, and not get heart
disease.
I just realized how hard Ive had it. In my childhood, I was healthy. Health-wise, I have
forever evaded the subject of health due to persecution from the outside world, and it all
went downhill from there. Now Im obese. But I have no desire to stay this way. I want to
exercise. I want to brush my teeth. I want to fight obesity and tooth decay. I dont care if I
am the sexiest eligible bachelor alive. I want to stay fit and lose weight. Im sick of the
beginning of my adulthood being robbed from me by the weight-gain inducing shock and
trauma that went with my teenage years, weight gainer pills, stress and panic eating, and
food restrictions put in place by my family and doctors. It hasnt been a fair trial.
The martial arts arent the only physical arts. The mystic and health arts are just as
important to survival as literature and the fine arts.
Influences:

Braindead 13
Sin City
Conan The Barbarian
Sam and Max
Cerebus
Spawn
Star Wars
Ninja Turtles
Frank Miller
Bruce Timm
Batman
Todd McFarlane
Jhonen Vasquez
South Park
Anime
Naruto
Dragonball Z

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Yu-Gi-Oh!
The Matrix
John Woo
Pulp Fiction
Man Bites Dog
Soul Caliber
Spielberg
John K
Primus
Tool
YouTube
Tim Berners-Lee
Bill Gates
Tim Burton
M. Night Shyamalan
Barry Sonenfeld

Influences

Akira
Ghost in the Shell
Katsuhiro Otomo
Burger King
Disney Afternoon
Blade Runner
Genndy Tartakovsky
FLCL
Adult Swim
Toonami
Production I.G.
IGPX
Highlander
Gundam
Cowboy Bebop
Inuyasha
Walt Disney
Stephen King
Ken Wilber
Jean Paul Sartre
Kevin Smith
Syd Mead
Blade Runner
Michael Moorcock
Elric

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THORES Shibamoto
Kosuke Fujishima
Yoshiyuki Sadamoto
Final Fantasy
Metalocalypse
Bill Gates
Ted Turner
Albert Einstein
Leonardo Da Vinci
Pixar
John Lasseter
Hiroaki Samura
JD Salinger
Alex Grey

Its kind of dangerous for me being as clueless as other people are about the ways of the
world as the people that live with me, isnt it?
The more Cary says no to me about certain things, the more I want to do any and all of
those certain things. Buying trenchcoats. Buying weapons. Buying surveillance
equipment for my house. Buying software and DVDs and books. Buying junk food.
Anything with the word no at the beginning, Im probably going to do, just because it
was phrased in such an obnoxious way. If he says No killing of thy neighbor, I will kill
my neighbor
My attention span, on average does not last longer than 20-30 minutes. That goes for
most tasks I attempt to do. They take me 20-30 minutes or less on average, and then I
stop.
Nothing makes the society of your country more suspicious of you than living with an
extraverted family and being the only person in that family who is secure enough in his
solitude to stay indoors for 10 years, for the most part.
Ive recently discovered XM radio. It has CNN and 90s music on that thing. I really
should get some XM Radio and iTunes again, so I have something to listen to while Im
writing. Im starting to hate writing with no background music.
Matching wits with the Deviants in the future wont be easy. They are smart, and very
fast in some ways. And theyre pretty good at computers too, but only if its Photoshop or
DA HTML Code.
I on the other hand have psychic intuition, branding smarts, and technological
engineering genius, and secret technology, or as some call it, trade secrets, on my side
Hmm. Why exactly am I more popular than my competition? You want a long Christmas
list?

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When you invent something new, but dont have status on your side
Generally there are three main kinds of reactions, all doubtful and negative
A) The competitive, Hey look at me, Im a toddler and Im doing the same thing
you are! reaction.
B) The Doubting Doubter Your idea will never work or sell reaction
C) The Hater Your idea sucks, is gay, and is weak and horrible reaction.
Thats three types

The Doubter.
The Hater
The Competitor.

Some of my neighbors are Haters. My parents, doctors, and brothers are Doubters. And
some people on the web are Competitors
Some of my favorite political manifestos are:

The U.S. Bill of Rights

The United States Constitution
The United States Declaration of Independence

I like historical writing documents and manuscripts of all sorts, but the poetry of those
political manifestos holds a dear place in my heart. The are documents, written more than
300 years ago, upon which this Great Democratic Nation of ours was founded.

He who holds the secret key to technology holds the power. Ive decided what to do with
my technological experiments. Im going to continue researching, experimenting,
engineering, and developing in my home-made laboratory, and keep discovering and
utilizing even newer, more cutting edge breakthroughs that no other country has outside
of the United States.
Its no surpriseor accident, for that matterthat four of my biggest influences in terms
of career achievements are all Scorpios: Bill Gates, Ted Turner, Pablo Picasso, and
Tezuka. I dont look, dress, act, or sound like any of them. But I understand their sense of
power. I honestly feel I do. Perhaps their power even more so than their zodiac sign is
what inspired me about them. None of them started off that famous or rich. And they all
built media and creative or business empires of various sorts from scratch. Some Scorpios
are good at that. But the thing is, their not just masterminds. Their physical images to

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society are iconic figures in and of themselves. I feel something in common with them
that I dont with ordinary people, even though Ive never met them. I can honestly say I
have that emotional reaction to them as icons. Perhaps it is the scope of their influence,
how its affected almost everyone in the world. Perhaps it is the magnitude of their
careers, honors, and achievements. Its like theyve each won the equivalent of the Nobel
Prize of their individual professional fields, without actually receiving the actual Nobel
Prize. I admire that. I admire the hell out of it. They make me feel like I could be there
one day too, if I were only to work as hard as they do. That is my brainlessly blithering
Happy-Go-Lucky Horatio Alger showbiz philosophy acting up again I guess.

Empires are mostly built on stable ground.

I know Jo Ann the tyrannical, intrusive shrink all too well. Ive been her victim/patient,
since childhood. Shes screwier than a screw when it comes to how she gives advice. All
these shrinks my parents attempt to force me to see each week/month/year are off their
rocker. And shes leading them like Moses to her self-proclaimed promised land. Well,
she doesnt actually say that, but thats how she thinks and acts. She always thinks she
knows whats right for people like me. She keeps trying to find out all my secrets, punish
and penalize me for them once she finds out, and shes always blaming me for everything
that goes wrong in my personal life, just like my adoptive parents do. When those quacks
are recommended by Cary and Peggy, of course theyre going to be. Consider the source.
Theyre always trying to force me to change against my will. Jo Ann pretends to listen to
what I have to say, but all she ever really does is wait for her turn to speak, just so she
can boss me around, tell me what to do. I fucking hate it. However, I will give Jo Ann
credit, sometimes she can be sympathetic and intelligent in her decision making. Not
always though. And shes one of the few people I dont know very well who has the most
data about me. Her notes about myself that shes written down in her notepads over the
years is almost as extensive as the notes (i.e. Manifesto Volumes I III) that Ive written
down by hand and computer about myself. She knows almost as much about me as I do,
shes the one person who can claim that, but shes probably unaware of this fact. Legally
though, shes not legally allowed to release those notations, or else she can get in a lot of
legal trouble about the patient-doctor privacy breach. Not even the conglomerate spies in
the media know as much about me as she does. Shes an expert on me, whatever that
might mean. She might be against some thing involving me in some ways, but I will say
that at least she doesnt go around ratting people out like some people in journalism and
the media do. She never ratted out my secret information for profit, fame, exploitation the
way Trojan-Adware-hackers and Brian Johnston did when they found out about me. So at
least she has trust going for her, to a degree.

Ive just realized that the various communities I partake in online and in the media, are all
very different. Despite the fact that they function with and thrive upon, large groups of
people, not everyone is successful in all of those communities like I can at times be. What

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make fly in one community, sinks in another. What may get you respect in one
community, may get you laughed out of town in the other. If you combine the allies in all
of the communities I do business in, you will find a lot of allies:
Where You Can Find Community

The anime community

The manga community
YouTube
DeviantART
The Adult Swim Message Boards
The television animation industry
The Hollywood film community
The Internet community
The local community
The World and National community
The genetic and family communities

I tend to drift back and forth between the rather enormous and popular crowds in one and
all of these communities. Hey, Im a pretty popular guy I guess. A lot of people across
various communities have heard of my pseudonym. Community, by definition, is about
respect, recognition, influence, and politics, if you want to get down to the nitty gritty.
Not everyone admits these things, and not everybody does want these things, but a lot of
people who do want respect as members of their own communities, will secretly want
respect and to be noticed, but theyd never admit that, probably because theyre afraid
their peers will make fun of them.

I actually am hoping to find out more about the Warsaw Philharmonic Orchestra, the very
same orchestra that composed a large portion of Yoko Kannos most famous composition
work. Including Escaflowne and Wolfs Rain, among many others, if Im not mistaken.
I definitely dont like the word selling. Sell is such an ugly, greedy word.
Im worth around $1.2 million, which is about twenty times what most early CN creators
were worth upon selling a show in the 90s, the Renaissance of Television Animation.
Good for me. I poo on your paltry cartoonists salary.
List of many websites Ive made a mark with:

Google
YouTube
Boards.adultswim.com
Tokyopop.com
DeviantART
Webcomics Nation

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Veoh
Japan Forum
Bumpworthy.com
Yahoo
Gmail
Myanimelist.net

So I am at the frontline of the media battle. But its not like I can speak out. No one ever
lets me say what I really feel like saying. Its the nature of politics. I wish there was an
exit or escape from this domesticated living hell. Its almost as bad as being a dad or
getting married. Cary and Peggy use a lot of their power against me, but it feels as though
Im not allowed to physically retaliate against their punishment and or abuse, or else the
whole world jumps me, just for hurting those fuckers. Ive wanted to sucker punch Cary
in the face for a long time, due to how he treats me and Andrew, but I know theyd try to
have me arrested if I assault Cary. Sucks but theres not much I can do about it, except
take Carys abuse hour after hour, day in and day out, and take it all like a little bitch.
Carys face is so ugly. It looks rotted, hostile, and old with that long shriveled miserly
nose and beady little eyes. I want to fucking hurt him. I want to punch him right in his
ugly little face, at least give him a broken nose or shiner. It would make me feel a lot
better to see his face get damaged somehow. And then the healing process can begin.
If theres one person who frustrates me more than my birth father, Glen, its Lance.
Why is he so obsessed with my alleged sex life and putting it in the form of anime. I hate
that in a way. It doesnt make any sense. Why are people like him so intrusive and nosy??
Youd think with the millions of dollars he makes per year off of anime he doesnt even
make himself, hed be happy and content just to focus on his own sex life like Sean did.
No such luck with that weirdo.
I think the media has actually (probably accidentally) tricked me into thinking that just
because I write down and say something aloud and it comes to life in movies and TVs
made by people I dont know, that I can pull off that same magic trick on my own. In
other words, Im so used to seeing big enormous things manifest out of nothing on TV,
the web, and film merely because I said so on the computer in writing, that that means I
can achieve the same effect if I build it from scratch in my notepad and sketchbook when
in fact I dont have the raw talent to do such a thing by myself. I either need help from
other artists, or a lot of pencil and pen mileage on random paper ALREADY in order to
make manifest things that come out of thin air, be it a conceptual art piece or a layout
design piece. My art still needs a lot improvement, pencil mileage, and refinement.
I gotta admit, as ruthless and criminal as the underground Triad and Yakuza is, they have
an uncanny aesthetic fashion sense considering that theyre organized crime. Theyre
much more fashion savvy than the Italian mob. Im sure if I was Chinese and a member
Id be killed really early on for attracting too much attention, but still I do appreciate how
they dress, considering how much their morality is lacking. But the thing is, Monos
black trenchcoat is partially making fun of both the government in America and alluding

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to organized crime in Asia. The black trenchcoat Mono wears is inspired by early Hong
Kong based John Woo Yakuza films, and the sophisticated-yet-hyper-violent kinship of
films that feature hitmen and mafias, like Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction, except there
theyre wearing black suits and not black trenchcoats. And The Bride from Kill Bill
wears Bruce Lees jumpsuit or all bright yellow.

The Systematism of Mythopoeia

One of the best things about building, testing, creating, engineering, and starting the
existence of a living system is to watch it come to life. Part of why I like the study area of
Heroic Science-Fantasy Mythopoeia is the systematic element of it, how things like
visual Mythology really come to life in design, construction, and narration. AKIRA,
Blade Runner, Star Wars, Gundam, and Lord of the Rings are perfect examples of this
phenomena. Its the Systematics of Mythology that really fascinate and inspire me.
Giving birth to a planet or even universe like Star Wars or Middle Earth and watching
them come to life. The Systematism of Mythology is endlessly complex and fascinating,
because were dealing with a plain of existence that only exists within that book or
comic, or that only exists within that TV or movie screen. However, it is also endlessly
challenging in terms of figuring out how to make it come to life.
All systems are nonlinear in nature, kind of like modern videogames, or reality itself, as
opposed to stylized entertainment. Mythopoeia is nonlinear. Youre not just creating a
narrative for one path to go in one direction. Youre creating a roaming and exploring
space that is incredibly, perhaps infinitely and endlessly vast and wide. With Mythopoeia,
the narrative takes on a nonlinear world path, where the final illusion on the surface and
often underneath, whether painted, animated, inked, illustrated, or digitally created, looks
kaleidoscopic. That is where layering comes in. Mythopoeia Worlds, due to their
nonlinearity, are built on layers. Their nonlinearity is built on layers. Layers of Linear
Pathways, when put together create and invent one enormously expansive and free
nonlinear pathway. That is when things truly become labyrinthine, long, and dense.

The mainstream of Japanese society does not hate me for drawing world manga. They
just havent heard of me. Its the Japanese intelligentsia who really hate me. Japanese
insiders and all that. I know better than to attempt (and probably fail, like everyone else
in the mainstream) to win their approval. Like I actually need it. Please. What a joke.
Thats like trying to win the Yakuzas approval if youre an American or Chinese.
Theyll fucking kill you and not even feel the least bit of conscience about the matter. If
people wonder why Mono at times often seems more like a bad guy than a good guy, its
because in one sense, he is. He is bossed around by a tyrannical future Western
Republican Apocalypse Government Sector. That and he looks like Marv (Sin City) and a
member of the American black trenchcoat Yakuza all in one. He looks scary and
menacing at times, but hes got a noble heart deep down, which he tends to keep a secret,
mostly so he can be a badass most of the time.

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Time to take a break. Ive been busy all daysort of.

Well, Im now an amateur programmer who knows a tiny bit about programming. I
downloaded the Liberty BASIC software for free off of the web, and began going
through the tutorials, teaching myself, slowly but surely how to input by cutting and
pasting pre-written code into the BASIC compiler system, and I was actually able to
create some GUI (graphical user interface) windows that were actually linked and
connected to the understructure of my laptops operating system. In other words, in one
sense its kind of like hacking into my own operating system and file folders, because I
could actually access certain submenus and computer folders on my computers hard
drive. Im actually trying to decide which one I like playing around with more: BASIC or
non-linear systems theory. Actually, theyre both sort of tied together. The great thing
about BASIC, or more specific Liberty BASIC is that it is perfectly suited to someone of
my own skill level, which is beginning or intermediate. Some people are much bigger
experts than me at this stuff. Then again, they have degrees, and I dont. So far Ive done
a pretty good job of learning Liberty BASIC on my own. This is the kind of complexity
and systems design I was made for! I was born for this stuff! I love it! Its one thing I
know how to do that not everyone else does. Even a lot of webmasters dont know how to
use BASIC, other than maybe the more ingenious and highly intelligible.
But honestly, programming with Liberty BASIC fulfills my love of systems, and thats
really all there is to it. If someone makes a big deal out of it, its not like I told or paid
them to. Thats just them reacting to whatever it is I have to offer: Programming
computer software in this case.
Ive got to learn to stop being angry and cocky. No one likes that element of my
personality. Not the ladies. Not my family. Not my friends. No one. No one does. I miss
that meek element of my persona I had before becoming bigger than I was at the
beginning.

After seeing how far Ive come on the internet, attaining a small amount of mindshare
and all that in the mainstream, I realize Ive already transcended being one fourth of the
way to be exactly where I dreamed of being when I was the age of 13. Im that much
closer to being exactly what I wanted to be, what I dreamed of being. I wanted epic
success. And by now, with a little help from and thanks to the media, both mainstream
and underground, both linear and digital, I have a little bit of that epic success. But its
come with a price. A very heavy price. Im sure when the end of my life comes, Ill look
back, and Ill ask myself, Was it all worth it? I dont know how to answer that
question, because I still have a while to go. But for all I know, I could be nothing more
than a fad, though I have been around in the limelight for over seven years to a degree
without stepping into it completely. It has not always been easy. I just make it look easy.
Its not because it is easy.

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Whats my story?
Lets see. Some guy tried to kill me. I created my own pop culture figure. I became an
artist and writer with a cult following. I contributed a large amount to YouTube. Lots of
look alikes tried to steal from me.

There are over a hundred or two beautiful birds way up on the branches of trees right
outside my house, all chirping away like crazy. Its a beautiful sound
There are no multi-racial British or Middle Eastern anime and manga fansoutside of
me. I stand alone. Anime is mostly a white-Japanese thing. Kind of isolating, actually.
Anime just isnt popular in Britain and the Middle East the way it is in France, America,
and Japan. I kind of like being the only card carrying member in town.
One thing I really hate is linguistic profiteering. Using linguistic associations to fads and
trends in your name and whatnot to profiteer off of other people less corrupt than you.
Sometimes I wish I could unravel the mysteries of my popularity:
For instance:
Why is it that when some random genius guy somehow manages to draw this:

to whoever drew it
No one notices or cares except a handful of his offline coworkers and friends.
And yet when I do something that takes no time and little effort, like this:

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(Which is not half as good as the other guys work)

For some reason people gravitate to mine, and I constantly see imitators of all skill levels,
and none for the hyped piece. Its weird! People should care about example Anot B.

If Im denied security, comfort, and safety, like most artist half the time I stop working,
or start working if I truly believe its for survival and Ill die if I dont succeed, or at least
starve.
If Im guaranteed comfort, security, and safety for the rest of my life, I have no reason to
pursue art or writing as a career anymore, which means no more public displays of my
work.

I can not live this lie anymore. I hate drawings. Im never going to draw again. Id be
drawing 24/7, if there wasnt so much emotional anxiety and spiritual weight tied to it.
Anything I do in the public domain someone is going to get copied. Badly. And that
deeply disturbs me. But it feels so empty in the mainstream without me there to do new
designs. But when youre both a legend and the laughing stock of America and Japan,
why even continue to try, or even make the attempt. There is no honor in trying. Only
doing. There is no try. Only do.
Im not an artist anymore. I quit. People want to watch me fail. Well congratulations, you
people got your evil wish as competitors.
I used to want to actually draw. Anything. Not just comics. Now I cant work up the
strength to even lift a pencil and put it to paper. It was a long drawn out struggle and
fight. And the medication has made me so much more uncreative than I used to be. The
Phils and Rima Jabburs and Trinity Bloods and Production IGs and Hipiras and Monos,
and IGPXs, and Toonamis are a thing of the past.

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R.I.P.
JOSEPHS ART CAREER
1983 -2010
If Im a victim of anything, its having too much ambition.
I wasnt going to say anything until I realized God and talent themselves arent even on
my side anymore, and neither is inspiration.

Things I bought online:

Espionage: A Reference Handbook
DVD Wallet
Gad Guard Complete Box Set (Geneon)
The World Famous Warsaw Philharmonic Orchestra
Information Security Management Handbook
Adobe Flash Professional

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Chapter 11

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Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Master Builder Builds A Script
I still do hold hopes of one day becoming one of the great modern day American episodic
TV writers and producers, or maybe just writer. I want to script an animated series. I
want to Author a TV Saga, less like Mike Judge and Matt Groening or Trey Parker
Matt Stone, and more like Yoshiyuki Tomino, of Gundam Universe fame. Now that I
know hes the mastermind and Immortal TV God behind the entire thing, and not just
Hajime Yatate, which is nothing but a pseudonym for nameless others: Team Spirit.
I want to be just like a combination of Katsuhiro Otomo, Akira Toriyama, and Yoshiyuki
Tomino when Im their age.
In other words, I take this job incredibly serious. With Parallax: The Apocalypse
Samurai, The Dream Lords, and Oliver-E, I planning on penning all of the initial
Volumes (Sets), Seasons (TV show), Story Arcs (writing), Chapters/Episodes
(scripts), and Bible Scripts that make up the heart of those three series. I sense that if I
really buy some good script formatting software to get used to working on, I can take
TV animation writing to absolutely new levels of transcendence in the U.S., in a way
that is not often seen as coming from the United States, but instead people are used to
seeing it coming from Japan or Britain with such good screenwriting. But Im a good
enough linguist and general writer that if I worked hard enough at mastering the art of
narrative (and write enough scripts between now and then), I can probably get quite a
few decent gigs as a TV screenwriter. I might use a pseudonym for much of my work
and I might not, Ill just have to see. Ill consult my fellow producers, writers, and
creators in the industry for that element. I want to start a design and detail revolution
in modern animation in the West, but also one of high literary content in television
in the U.S. Up till this point TV Writing in the U.S. has been South Park, Seinfeld, and
The Simpsons, and not much else, in terms of multidimensional writing. Studios are
always looking for good screenwriters, and if I can prove myself as a highly literate
writer of television drama, for animation no less, I could go very far, financially,
intellectually, and creatively. When Im 40 or older, I want to be a great dramatic serial
animation screenwriter. I see shows like Avatar, The Boondocks, and Samurai Jack and
look at their stories, and get very excited about them and my own potential to maybe be
that good one day. It is possible to make up to $50 million a year screenwriting, as a
screenwriter or writer, but thats just about only for major networks like Fox.
Ill explain why I really, really like the Final Draft 8 software. Thats easy: Because it
does everything for youEXCEPT write the actual words. It formats the pages, sets up a
script writer interface type thing. Though it is over $100, seriously! Who could ask
for more than that! I love their slogan! Just add words So simple and brilliantly
concise. I fucking love that slogan! Thats all I have to do?? Fuck I love it. It really
speaks to me. It understands my situation. I do well over and more than enough words.
Its just all in the wrong format: Psychotic epistolary monologues. Im sick of writing
that way. I want to write fantasy monologues, epic storytelling narration, and great

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action sequences. (Later in 2011: Then this means I have to read those things by others
too). Anything is possible with screenwriting. You can be as epic as you want if youre a
head writer, or at least literary bible supervisor, or even story concept man.
Eventually, I am planning on writing spec scripts in my spare time. I plan on
writing out all 26+ episodic scripts for Parallax, which pans out to about 650 pgs of
script, or half the length of Manifesto, pagewise, because each speculative episode
script of continuing sagas and narratives would be approximately 25 pages in length
each, which equals 25 minutes for each 30 minute episode. Honestly, I love writing
screenplays and scripts so much that Ill even go so far as to write 100 200 pages if
I can. (Retrospective: I really need to stop doing the Number and quantity jumping
ahead thing. Its crippling me. Just start) Im not expecting all of my scripts to make it
to final form. Ill leave what actually gets sold and optioned up to my producers and
agent(s), whenever I get around to getting one, if I get one that is. As of now Im just
focused on the writing. Of course Ill do a lot of note taking, revising, and strategizing in
general, by hand, but when it comes to formatting, everything (or at least most of my
work) will be done through Final Cut 8 (Retrospective, what I mean to say is, CeltX). Its
just easier that way.
I love my newfound passion as an American action-drama and fantasy screenwriter.
Finally! I wrote an action scene. Though I did not start from the very beginning, or
write my script in chronological order, its true. Page one of my TV script is finished!
That was a lot easier than I expected. But damn, that was a good action scene script!
Im so happy with my progress. If I didnt know any better, Id say my script almost
sounds natural now! (Retrospective: Please see first page of Manifesto. It begins
again.)
So now, though I only feel like Im just getting started, in terms of production process, I
do feel like Ive already proved myself proficient in the areas of dialogue and
description in my screenwriting, if done non-chronologically and in small intervals.
However, I could easily become burnt out if I dont focus on developing the
understructure, or story, and the scenes or transitions and whatnot that hold the glue of
my book together. Pre-formatted software just makes doing the nitty gritty of the work so
much easier! Its actually kind of hard to believe that its this easy!
Here is why INTP Architects and 22 Master Builders are important in society.
When theyre building the structural system of their own personal future
foundation, theyre not just building a house and institutional matrix for
themselves. Theyre building all those extra houses and institutional matrixes for
other people, and entire future generations to find comfort and a home in. And
because of their timeless nature, they want to make sure the institutions and
foundations they build will indeed stand the test of time, for decades and centuries,
if not forever. In other words, the builder types are looking out for everybody,
humanity as a whole. Theyre not just looking out for only themselves, their

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employment, their friends and family, but no one else outside of their small bubble
in the world.
Im constantly envisioning things I create affecting massive amounts and large groups of
people. A lot of people dont think about this, but good entertainment, franchises, media,
and narratives benefit the world a lot morespiritually, economically, and sociallythan
their bad equivalents do. Whenever a good collective project on a massive scale happens,
it doesnt just set one creator for life socially and financially. It creates jobs, and fans, and
in some cases lifetime hardcore devotees, if it turns into a big enough hit. That is how the
industry works. And it stimulates more work modeled after it to follow in its example, all
around the world. That is what Walt Disney and Steven Spielberg, and Quentin Tarantino
and David Fincher did. That is what Katsuhiro Otomo did. That is what Osamu Tezuka
and lots of other pioneers and auteurs have done and did. This is the selfless side of
success. Successful entertainment stimulates the altruistic, giving, cultural, and
compassionate side of humanity that many do not consider when it comes to mere
entertainment. It keeps the world and humanitys spirits up, and that alone is priceless.
Without entertainment, society would become unruly and disturbed, most likely. Good
entertainment brings light to humanitys lives and keeps massive amounts of spirits up
around the world in six continents and countless countries. If the cultures are happy and
prosperous, then the world is happy and prosperousFor the most part.
So, you may be asking yourself. Why did you choose to become a screenwriter,
instead of just an artist or idea man? Thats simple. I choose to become a
screenwriter for the benefit of future mainstream entertainment generations. For
generations of frustrated anime and animation fans just like myself who are tired of
almost all Western animation being aimed at only 2 12 year old children, and
there being nothing literate, adult, or sophisticated about it. For anyone who likes
violent animation, but wonders why the only real violent cartoons for the most part
only seem to be created from, greenlit, or produced in Japan and are sent over here,
and were only merely allowed to snack on their leftovers, instead of creating our
own beautiful, elegant, literate, and at times violent archetype. People who fit these
descriptions are probably the type of demographic or influenced generation that
will appreciate what Im doing here the most. And the more that dream of creating
decent American-produced and written anime or anime-influenced dramatic
American action cartoons will have a new, more localized and sophisticated genre to
hopefully take inspiration from and be inspired to one day work in, just like I was
hoping to do in my adolescence. Except when I was growing up, no one was doing
the exact sort of thing I wanted to do professionally. Not to the extent of literary
sophistication and stylish vision of action I wanted to create. There was similar stuff
like Akira, Spawn, Star Wars, Conan, and The Matrix, but none of it does it exactly
the way, in the type of production process and method or technique I am presenting
and designing or authoring in this new system of storytelling. (Retrospective: Ive
got a lot of words in me. I could stop these words from escaping me and flooding the
page even if I wanted to. Its almost like Im possessed by some higher power: a
literary force.) No one will be prepared for it when it is at its most unleashed,
particularly if others actually choose to follow my example, for whatever reason. My

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actions may look selfish to the people in my private life now, but actually, more than
anyone living with me, Im constantly considering how my actions will affect
posterity. I dont know who Im looking out for exactly, but all I know is that Im
looking out for people almost every day of my life, in an empathic, psychic visionary
way, in my head.

BOOKMARK
Well, I have roughly about 3 pages of first draft scripts typed up and printed. Im
quite happy with how it is turning out. The action descriptions are great, and so is
some of the dialogue. I cant believe I got this much screenwriting done in the first 2
days aloneof having my own screenwriting software on my computer(s). I saved
myself around $200 in software budget expenses by going with a cheaper brand of
screenwriting software. Occupying time in a mere 30 minute episodic continuing
story takes more concentration and effort than I initially thought.
Im writing an entirely new kind of American animation scriptone with maturity,
and sophistication, and fantasy, martial arts, violence, drama, and action in general.
Im starting to realize that the history of my fictional universethe realism and
reality of it allis underdeveloped, and so are the stories, biographies, and histories
of my scripts major and minor antagonists. But I can fix that, just like any other
problems that pop up during my production process.
I think my style of screenwriting will eventually pave the way for some entirely stylistic
archetypes and generally new screenwriting techniques:

Post-Apocalyptic War Stories

Progressive Dark Fantasy
A genre of putting mature animation violence and martial arts as well as fighting
sequences in script form. Its all the rage in Japan and China, but not yet in the
United States
Combining them all

Anime Im aiming to buy:

The Skull Man DVD

Moribito
Dragonball Z
Kenichi: Mightiest Disciple
Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam
Black Blood Brothers

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The real miracle here is that I no longer worry about How much am I going to get paid?
Will my work be accepted? Will I become an official professional entertainer and
writer one day? Im just worried about writing one great script and testing my
screenwriting abilities to the utmost. When I am not writing scripts daily, I am filling
my folders up with notations related to the story, dialogue, scenes, episodes, and
descriptions of my world and saga.
If I died, what would become of the internet? How much influence do I really have on the
internet? How much power do I have over it? And how much of a void of emptiness
would I leave behind me.

My horoscope was going on about me being in a good position over some victory, and
my power being at full force (Post Note: May 29, 2010: I think my horoscope was
referring to my action screenplays)
Ive deduced that the happiness over a victory probably has something to do with my
newfound technological advantage with software such as Adobe Flash, Dreamweaver,
Magic Ripper, 1 Click Copy, Celtx, Liberty BASIC, and my ability to utilize them all
for myself in the most advantageously strategic manner possible. Fortunately the version
of Flash I bought turned out to be the right version. It cost me roughly $200.
The bad news: I may very well never catch a real break in show business, as an artist or
anything else for that matter, and look-alike clowns will just continue breeding with pink
sheep. And retarded looking photographsthat are edited and manipulated on
Photoshop will continue to pollute the clean air on the internet, at Yahoo or wherever.
The good news: Im probably going to be making a lot of money somehow anyway: How
Ill make that money is none of anyones business other than my own. Ill give you a
hint: Its not made through Dow Jones. But yes, I did have some money there initially, in
an economic experiment. That failed, but it doesnt surprise me. No one makes money in
stocks when the economy is down, except rich people. But thats because theyre already
rich.

I never really realized my hands had Reiki healing lightworker powers until recently.
Nothing is every just handedor givenover to me and just me. Its all hard work,
strategy, and compromise on my part.
I am 1 against 100. I am rags to riches. I am zero to hero. I am failure to success. I am the
American Dream. I represent what people want the most, which is not everything at once
or in the very beginning, from the starting line. I represent a hard won victory distantly
trailing a hard days labor of work.

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Everyone wants to be perfect, but its all in the effort and attempt. There is no such thing
as perfection in the real world when everyone will find a flaw in something. The truth is,
the only thing close to reaching perfection is the ability to never stop striving to be more
humble, never stop striving to be more flawless, not in the actual acquiring of such traits.
The more one tries to be perfect and humble, the more it backfires. Therefore its all in
the attempt.
Speaking as a perhaps one time former veteran of ultimate selfishness, one could say the
current cultural world landscape encourages us to be more selfish, less giving, greedier,
and less concerned about the welfare and well-being of others from all walks of life. If
its not a part of our daily family lifestyle, its like its unimportant or doesnt exist,
merely because it is happening far, far away, somewhere other than here. Lets not kid
ourselves here. Everything that exists in our minds is real on some level, even if only on a
cognizant one. And some of us even have the power to turn our own thoughts into the
real thing, depending on what it is were thinking about. Such is the nature of reality.
Seriouslywhere does one go from here? People with advanced literary abilities tend to
write like they really think. Thats what they say anyway. You definitely get to a point in
your life when you want to move beyond the unschooled and rebelliously angry Am I
nothing but a fucking joke to you and your cronies phase. Glad that time in this life is
over.

The difference between an epic narrative (comic, television series) and a normal one?
Its vaster, bigger, grander, and especially longer than your average narrative
Ensemble cast. Greater amount of subplots and chapters.

Current and future sword fantasy and fiction

Samurai Jack (katana)

Frank Millers Ronin (katana)
TMNT (dual katana)
X/1999 (knight sword)
Star Wars (light saber)
IGPX (katana)
Highlander (katana)
Karas (katana)
Kill Bill (katana)
Outlaw Star (katana)
DBZ (Z Sword)
Yu Yu Hakusho (spirit sword, katana)
Tenchi Muyo (light saber)

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Come to think of it, it is traditional to put fantasy swords in a past setting. Few think to
actually place them in another world or this world in the future. Swords are almost
always put in a historic context, quite literally.

When exactly did the mindset shift from It should be pretty good so I like my own
work to It needs to be mainstream, perfect, Japanese, epic, a million pages long,
incredibly detailed and dynamic, and better than everyone else.
In other words, the only reason I got some issues of Zounds done was because my
ambitions were modest. I wasnt out to be everyone else. Then again everyone wasnt
after me when I was doing Zounds, and I didnt have editors and DeviantART fans to
please, but still. Anime really screwed up my goals. Im going back to simple and
simplifying my style to more like Jeff Smith and Jhonen Vasquez. I dont need the
respect of the mainstream crowd of kids just to make artwork I like. Who gives a fuck
if no one else likes it? It wasnt made for them to begin with.
I need to learn to worship and embrace my bad art. The worst of my drawings in the past
used to frustrate and anger me, much like they did with other people on the web. But now
Ive come to realize that you should either love your workbad work includedor dont
love any of it at all. You have to learn to take the good with the bad.

Im starting to grow and expand as an artist. The style of my reference material is

changing. Im learning not to rely on other artists work for inspiration so much. Ive
realized that reference material doesnt just have to be pre-existing art made by other
people. The sources of my art could very well be lying in the patterns of nature,
existence, photography, and the third dimension in general. I like looking at scientific and
Hollywood photographs and pattern illustrations for the inspiration for the patterns that
appear in my designs. Everything from gears to snowflakes can make for a good design,
sketch, illustration, painting, or ink drawing. Drawing from other artists all the time,
without ever looking at the real world, can often leave my artwork with a very watered
down feeling.
Webcomics Nation and Joey Manley are two of the most powerful forces in webcomics.
Google is not only the worlds most powerful media company,
But theyre also the most powerful company on the internet.

Things of mine which are powerful:

My drawings and artwork

Parallax
My online persona
My self-made DVDs and videos

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My WMV files

Speaking of power
I could be mistaken, but if my intuition is right, and it usually is, Im now apparently one
of the most powerful people on the web, at least according to how many times my
various pseudonyms show up in virtually every major corporate search engine in
existence: Google, Yahoo, Bing, Lycos, MSN Internet Explorer. You will find my
various name pseudonyms. Not my real name, mind you, but that is just the way I like it.
I have so-called incognito fame. I have power now, and influence, and pseudonym
nameshare. And when you have that finally, you have nothing left to prove to anyone. I
could probably retire now if I wanted to. Just live off of s.s. paychecks for the rest of my
life, like Maryanne, my mom. But for as long as Ive known she lives that way, Ive
always wanted something grander. Something more. Something a little more glamorous.
Thats kind of how I work. I work with the desire to prove myself capable of handling
whatever task is in front of me, until Ive achieved my goal and have nothing left to
prove. And then I move on. That goes for the internet, not just my creative projects.
I suspect I am probably ahead of my time in many ways. I engineer the technology and
structural models, architecture, institutions, systems, archetypes, and prototypes upon
which civilization and culture are based.
There are two kinds of major NT Rational Geniuses who get things done in big ways:
The First
The Field Marshall: The man who takes all the credit and glory. Who rallies behind the
forces and cause and guides the authorities, troops, and armies to victory over all
opposing forces. He can visibly be seen on the PR frontlines, and is the center of attention
at all times. He has all the physical power in the world, and is the character everyone
remembers: Two good examples being Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and General Patton.
The Second
The Mastermind: This is the strategic planner and visionary wizard of magic, who with
the swift push of a button causes a giant explosion to happen far, far away. He guides all
the major players and chess pieces on the battlefield, and creates the steps and plan that
lead the forces of good into battle. While operations are happening, the Field Marshal
remains ultimately visible while he, The Mastermind, remains unseen, undetected, and
invisible, until long after his bulls-eye has been efficiently blown up or destroyed and
demolished, and after his victory has been attained. He creates the plan that all his more
visible forces rely on: Examples being: Sean Akins, Albert Einstein, Tim Berners-Lee,
Katushiro Otomo, Philo T. Farnsworth. He is a P.R. and planning ninja. His tiny
actions look miniscule in comparison to the final efficient result of his painstaking and
top secret planning, or Master Plan.

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While the visible recognition of the Field Marshall is incalculable. The unseen influence
and power of The Mastermind is almost Godlike in its scope and efficiency. The behind
the scenes influence that he created is incredibly vast. This applies to big business
especially.

Being a comics creator-mangaka and a writer-artist creator is not easy. I do everything

for myself and by myself, unlike many others, who only focus on one or a few things.
I took up comics, indie comics, and manga, because its the one place, the one medium,
comics where you can show off your skills as both a writer-author and artist-designerillustrator. Many comic book creators are multi-facetedjust like myself. Thats part of
why I like the comics and animation creators I do in the first place.
Speaking of art and comics, Ive always wanted to draw and write a modernist graphic
novel in one dense volume. But as much as I hate to admit it, you typically do not start
off that way. Instead you work the traditional route, working on individual monthly
regular sized issues.
So that is what I will do. Ill work on 20-page individual issues, with an average of 4-5
panels per page, give or take. Im finally getting better at perspective and composition.
Ive got to get so good at drawing individual comic book pages that, at some point in the
futureeither a few years or decade from nowdrawing 20 pgs a month will just come
naturally to me.
Actually, I already have finished:

1 non-sequitor art book with a painted, digitally edited cover

2 self-published Parallax mini-comics
35-page underground scrapbook issue, which isnt published.

The artwork in these books Ive done comes in all varieties, from very good to very bad.
What matters is that I did them.
It is one thing to be all talk about fighting and martial artsyou can say anything till
your blue in the face, actually. That doesnt mean youve made it realbut it is quite
another to actually draw them in action.
But the thing is, before I did 35 pages of my most recent scrapbook comics pages and
sequential art, I checked the records on my computer of old comics pages, and before I
did my most recent scrapbook, I already did another 35 comics pages of random
narrative.

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That means Ive drawn a total of over 70+ pgs of sequential artwith some of them
being refined, and some of them not so much.
Actually, Ive done a recount of my re-edited scrapbook, and the new version of my
comic book sketch and sequential art scrapbook clocks in at around 95 pages. Or in other
words, roughly about 100 pages of artwork long.
My scrapbook is looking mighty fine. Some of the pages are clean(ed up), some are not.
But bottom line, the first 100 pages of new conceptual artwork in the last 12 months /
year or so, are done. I definitely feel like Im getting better. I might not even have
thought of this binded scrapbook density strategy if it werent for reading the Asian
business strategy bookno, not Notan. And not Hoshinabout accomplishing a lot
more by doing less. This strategy seems to be working in an incredibly efficient way. Im
acing this new (to me) strategic style.
Id sayif any time were a definitive indicator from this point on, that indicated Im well
on my way to finishing that 20 page comic book issues or 200 page graphic novellong
before I dietoday would definitely be that day, it would be that indicator Im going to
finish my lifes major work. I have the 100 page scrapbook to prove it. Ive been wanting
to reach this level in my epic quest and journey for a long time now. This just proves that
I can do it. I have the will power, I have the strategy and plan. I can get there at some
point in the near or distant future. And yes, I indeed really want to finish my books.

While it is true that I took to the process and art of writing, narrative, philosophy, and
literature, at quite an early age, around 16, 17 years old or so, which is the age I started
writing journals and essays of my own accord and reading Ken Wilber, I took to movies,
comics, TV animation and show business in general, and especially art, at an even earlier
age: elementary through middle school and beyond.

I actually am quite the virtuosic drummer, and have been known to play a mean rhythm
back in my day. I dont talk about that much here. No reason for that exactly. But yeah,
Im a pretty proficient drummer. I have three or four favorite types of drumming, in terms
of rhythm.
Biggest Genre Influences

Jazz of all types

Metal, of all types
Alternative rock
Contemporary Progressive Rock

These three forms of drumming take the most rhythmic complexity and skill. I love
drumming over the music in my favorite songs and albums:

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Favorite Albums to Jam Out Loud To

Green Days Dookie and Insomniac

The Smashing Pumpkins when they have Jimmy Chamberlin
Weezer
Tools Lateralus
Primuss Tales from the Punchbowl, Pork Soda, and Sailing the Seas of Cheese
Marilyn Manson Antichrist Superstar
Pantera Reinventing the Steel

This is ass backwards. Why can I write a monologue like a genius, yet I cant write any
sort of extended narrative to save my life. I guess that means in my unconscious mind, Id
rather talk, theorize, and commentate than actually tell any kind of serious story. I need to
fix thisSomehow.

Hmm. There havent been a whole lot of indie comics in the action genre, other than
mostly the ones that got turned into movies, franchises, and whatnot.
And though I do love, movies, animation, and television, Im not directly aiming to work
in those mediums. As of now, Im putting a concerted effort forward to perfecting action
sequences and drama in literary graphic narrative form. Im finding fighting and
perspective to be 2 of my most difficult subjects to teach myself and learn. If I could
draw them easily, Id already have 500 pages of that very subject matter drawn by now.
However, I am finding a lot of inspiration in Chinese manga like Blood Sword, various
sword comics, and more mainstream comics like Conan and Star Wars from Dark Horse,
as well as manga like Blade of the Immortal. Im also into studying films choreographed
or directed by Yuen Woo-Ping and the Shaw Bros. Studio, as well as early John Woo HK
films.
The thing about it is, I dont want the end result of my work to come across as cheap and
shoddy, or cheesy, or Ed-Wood-ish. My production goal is to be mega grand in my
production value, on an almost inhuman budget: Next to nothing. One of the truly great
things about making comics is that its cheaper to produce than it is to produce a
Hollywood TV show or movie.

Ive been off of the internet communities for roughly about a week now, give or take a
few days. And forgetting about those places is kind of like forgetting about hell. Its
easier to do than I thought.
Things in the future

Perspective
Drawing fights and action

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Comics and reading

Streaming media
Dreamweaver
Amazon and Netflix
Panel Composition
Binded Scrapbooks
Numerous Future Volumes of Self-Publishing
Software Development (Liberty BASIC)
Web development
DVD watching/authoring/ripping
Screenwriting, Script Production
Less PR advertising of my direct presence on my part. That kinda sucks.

There are a few traits I need to work on developing:

Patience, self-discipline, consistency, endurance, and good health.

I know a thing or two about strategy. Not to brag or nothing.

For example:

Step 1: Predict your opponents moves (if you have one) well ahead of time, lightyears before he makes ANY move.

Step 2: Always make a concerted effort to Map out unseen territory. If you
know the terrain better than your opponent, competition, etc, you have more
maneuverability than nearly all your opponents.

Disney and Viacom are pretty timid companies in terms of risk taking by todays
standards.
Mono is animalistic in some ways. I have a secret technique for designing his clothes and
weapons. To me, theyre not just these deadweight props and costumes. Theyre a whole
extension of Mono and Jubeis form and body. Basically, his coattails function in regards
to his figure, body, and form like a cat or dogs tail would to an animals body. Tails and
swords and guns are very much living and alive on the page. They flow out from and are
connected to the energy and spirit of Monos body. His Chi.

So Ive finally gotten around to studying and thoroughly going through the seemingly
over-comprehensive and rather intimidating Yasuhiro Nightow instructional manga ink
and drawing book, Pen&Ink It has to be one of the most difficult to
comprehend/penetrate instructional books Ive ever owned. Then again it is Japanese
secret strategic production technique, so I guess I shouldnt be too surprised at how

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complex it is. If I finish this book anytime soon, dog ears and all, Im going to study the
tutorials in Manga-Ka America next, as those look just as challenging. But at least theyre
written in a welcoming, supportive, and friendly tone. Its not quite like DeviantART
where no one reveals their secrets and everyone is trying to beat you. And thank god
there are resources like that. First stop, Pen&Ink. Next stop, Manga-Ka America. So I
guess when I said I was getting out of the business of comics, I kinda lied there. Heh.
Sorry bout that. The print is so small in certain parts of Pen&Ink, its very intimidating
looking, due to how ingenious and complex it looks on the surface. Its truly a book that
represents the Japanese level of comprehension. In that sense, Pen&Ink, despite being
translated into English is in some ways more Japanese than American. It goes on and on
at a very advanced level and expects you to do just fine keeping up with its pacing. Easier
said than done. I figured writing strategically in my journal might better prepare me for
the task of devouring the contents of this book successfully, kind of like how I used it to
get myself to draw sometimes (previously often very unsuccessfully, until what seems
like recently).

There, I finished the three main Artists Features and Interview intro section to my
Pen&Ink book. Only two or three more main sections to go. That wasnt half as painful
as I thought. I actually learned a lot of things from that book so far, even though Ive
been reading it for less than 24 hours.

My early arrogance in pursuing my career was not justified. I may have met some
powerful people, but that doesnt automatically mean I always will have powerful
artwork to match my social skills. Two entirely different things.
And while, on an American indie comics level, I maybe have been working super
advanced, on a Japanese or Chinese manga-ka level, Im still to this day way back at the
starting line. Im somewhere between beginner and intermediate, as far as Japanese art
skills are concerned. American art is at a beginning level in comparison to Japan. No one
in the industry comes right out and says it. The Japanese know good and well they draw
better than most foreigners. They just dont like to admit it, due to how humble most of
them are.
Things I need to focus on (Do Less, Achieve More):

Self Management, manage yourself over time, and make the best of your life.
Time management. Theres not really such a thing as too much or too little
time. Time is relative. Its ALWAYS too much or too little
enjoying life and competition, (competition gives you a chance to experience
life by enjoying the sweetness of defeat and victory)
relaxation, (breathing)
Not letting my mind strangle my hands from picking up a pencil and
drawing, (Just do it. If you talk or write about it too much, you wont end up
really drawing. Youve got to let your spirit go to work).

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tracing paper to skillfully trace with (keeping drawings clean. Buy more
tracing paper)
copy machines to reduce and enlarge paper with (and software), (size
consistency with panel and pages of comics art)
buying the right technology (manga studio, Photoshop, Painter) (tools)
not being so greedy, (watching Adsense every two seconds)
not letting fear or anxiety get in my way, (realize suffering and joy are two
sides of the same coin)
focusing on contentment, transcendental meditation, (You have the right to
be content, and relaxed)
Investing or sacrificing for important goals, (You need to decide and figure
out if you really have what it takes to reach your goals)
focus and concentration, (Gives you a touch of superhuman zen simplicity
while finishing tasks and living life)
using both focus points of my brain (the two that think about different things
at the same time), (Reading and drawing, for instance, left brain right brain,
physical and mental, note taking and sketch making)
subtraction (art terms), (Refined technique. Placement of detail in certain
spots. NOT everywhere on page.)
name (panel layout in manga), (How Japanese artists approach panel
layouts)
not letting people wasting my resources and time. Not wasting other peoples
time. (biggest amateur spiritual and time management mistakes you can
make in your day to day life)
Getting the opportunity to be attacked and experience adversity in
competition and the game of life so you get a chance to show off your skills as
a result of adversity. (and boy do I getting to show off)
Experience the human drama, trauma, suffering, and struggle are all part of
the funof the drama of the game of life. (it takes true Zen spirit
detachment not to suffer through these things, stay focused, and not let them
get to you)
Learn what the Almighty Destiny intends for me to do with my life. (Destiny
is the ultimate boss. If youre on the wrong track, he sets you right back on
the right one)
Aiding Destiny Along through insight, intuition, skill, talent, ability, and
hard work (like me and comics). (do everything within your power to help
your own Power of Destiny guide you)
Theres no such thing as failure(s), only chances for improvement and
refinement. (Every so-called failure is a learning experience)
The wisdom of detachment from emotions, positive and negative (Zen,
detached from Self and self-centric emotions).
Practice being a vessel for the Almighty Destiny, God, etc. The Divine Holy
Power, the Holy Spirit. Let their force and energy work through you. If I
produce good art, thats my destinys work, pushing me in the right
direction, not actually me

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Dont get stuck in the anti-motivation poisonous I want, I want, I want, I

want phase of thinking and desire. Accept your holy destiny. If you truly
know how to embrace your destiny, after your life is over you will get exactly
what you want.

Up till this point, Ive actually kind of partially survived on decisions and actions based
on blind intuition. Though Im not officially aware of my actual heritageand I have
doubts if anyone else really knows about it eitherIve actually revealed some factual
data to myself just by saying and doing certain things. For instance, drawing trenchcoats
(Monos gray and black tail trenchcoat), that resemble certain types of holy vestments
(not on purpose or knowingly so) with line patterns and everything(!), naming my
imaginary son Thomas or Thom when my birth mother claims my birth father has the
same name. Speaking British slang when I know little to nothing about authentic British
culture. Being drawn to Asian culture, when I was supposedly Chinese in a past life. Just
weird almost supernaturally synchronous stuff like that. Stuff I did or said that looked
meaningless in the beginning, that has a lot of meaning now.
The best punches in cinema and graphic literature, almost always show the fist flying
downward. Thats part of why they call it the Southern fist in Shaolin kung-fu, Im
pretty sure.

Theres no Wikipedia page on flight in fiction, folklore, and fantasy.

Im going to draw a comic book series, but more specifically a book, that somewhere
in the 50 150 page range. I can handle 50 150 pgs. But before I work up to that
level, Im going to overcome my habit of starting off with a quota that is
unmanageablelike say 800-1,200 pgs of panel artand instead start off with
something I know I can eventually do: An issue that is 5 to 10 to 15 to 30 pages. The
easier and less planned I make it for myself in the beginning, the less I have to live
up to. The less I have to worry about accomplishing all in the beginning. Besides,
looking at things like Sin City, Usagi Yojimbo, Cerebus, Akira, and Spawn is like
looking at the End Game of an entirely different artists pinnacle of his career. Ill
never get to therethe topunless I learn to start with more humble goals, at the
bottomi.e. 1 3 pages starting off. Ill be so busy with and exert so much energy
on getting started it will feel like I made a book that was a lot longer, instead of what
it is in reality: 1-3 pgs. Maybe I should use my visionary manifestation abilities, the
power of the law of attraction, to focus on making just 1, 1 individual page real, then
simply moving onto the next one. I use my power to approach comics NOT EVEN 1
page at a time, but instead, 1 panel prelim page done numerous times, leading UP
TO the very middle, first or last panel. It starts with a vision on a whole page, not a
cramped, overcrowded not well done image in one panel that is so primitive like Ive
seen myself do sometimes. I need to create a bunch of different full pages images or
names (i.e. panels), then cut those individual pages and images, characters and

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backgrounds, in ink and pencil, through scanners, printer and computer, reduced
or increased to scale to fit the page. Comic book graphic novels are build from one
panel page to regular panel to multi-panel page at a time.
Finished another comic book page today. Todays one was my first real action page, with
2 panels. I now have three polished pages done within the last two or three years or so, so
I seem to be off to a good start, gaining momentum, and improving a whole lot. I actually
can draw certain types of action shots now. So this is my 3rd polished page. Ive now
completed 3 whole entire pages of sequential art. Im getting better! Hell yeah!
How I did it: I take some of my regular drawings, and re-arrange them using the copy and
paste options in Microsoft Digital Image Pro software, and enlarge and shrink the
drawings and align them to fit the panel or name space as I see fit. Pre-set up user
interfaces dont seem to work as well when it comes to fitting my drawings to panel
proportions. So Ive decided to have a go at it the old-fashioned way. As long as the
original drawings Im copying and pasting are turning out good, Im as good as gold.
The good, bottom line, thing is: I seem to have found, or perhaps stumbled onto, a
formula that works.
From now on, Im going to seek out an agent for each field I try to break into. Agent for
comics. Agent for animation. And agent for TV and film. I hear thats the easiest way to
get your work seen by publishers, studios, producers, and editors.

By some miracle, I am now able to use the Amazon Associates option on my blog,
where if people click on your link to the product you picked out in your blog post to
advertise for Amazon, you get a cut. Naturally, I chose popular anime titles, since that
seems to fit me.

I like working out of the home.

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Chapter 12

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If Im really that terrified of submitting to publishers, producers, and editors, then it

seems I have no other choice than to seek artistic representation. Im not going to concern
myself with selling unless I know I can succeed at it. Im going to focus on doing the
work, then Ill send it off to creative agencies, and have them do the business work. Just
like if I ever file for a patent Ill get a patent attorney. I wonder why getting a patent
attorney is so much easier than even finding a comic book agency or agent.

Though I am one of the original pioneers and Master Builders online who saved Japans
anime industry (in a way), and made it possible for billions of people to watch streaming
anime videos online, controlling that powerful online juggernaut of a force proved to be
something else altogether entirely. Its next to impossible to say you invented a medium
that big, even if you did. There are a few reasons for this:
Juggernauts are beyond any one persons control. If the Japanese corporations and
American corporations cant legally control it, even though god knows theyve attempted
many times to use their greatest trump cards to accomplish just that, theyve failed,
because its the internet, and the internet is stronger than and beyond the control of any
one corporation, media company, TV channel, programming block, or power player. Its
amazing to think that I engineered the technology that made it possible, but its also kind
of scary to know I have no control over its maintenance and growth, and no financial
stake in my own invention when its that profitable and successful. I want to be a part
of its success, but its too powerful for one person to control, including the man who
invented streaming anime online (i.e. yours truly). Its a Frankenstein-like juggernaut
empire. Ive created a monster! I might even be forced to go to the poorhouse while my
invention just keeps collecting some of the most powerful international momentum
in the world. I did that! Yes! What have I done?
I think its about time I move on from manga. Let someone else get all the fame, women,
and money in that medium. If Im so untalented like they say, surely it wont be hard to
find a replacement. Should be fuckin easy, right? Good luck with that. Im pursuing my
real talents of file engineering-management and essay writing from now on.
Entertainment is nowhere in my foreseeable future. Ive gotten so fucking fed up with
those anime and manga people, who are really just arrogant, credit-taking assholes that
are full of themselves and never acknowledge their predecessors and elder statesmen.
Something about this relationship between me and them, maybe culture, maybe the
internet, just isnt working. Im leaving Japan to fend for itself. Good luck Japan. I might
have stayed with you if you actually bothered to show you cared about me once in a
while. You guys never did. So Im leaving you. Addiction is one thing, but abuse and not
showing any acknowledgement or appreciation are quite another. My room is filled with
Japanese manga and anime stuff. What am I going to do with all of it now that its just
garbage to me? Its not easy knowing no one really cares that much about you or your
career. Maybe now would be a good time to retire.

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Anime Collection:
My Anime List
Adult Swim Other Anime Forums
Amazon Anime section
My DVD collection, official and unofficial
My YouTube page
DeviantART
My book collection
Funimation.com
Tokyopop.com
AnimeTV
Ive spent the last 15 years of my life talking about and doing nothing but anime. Whats
going to happen if I quit on it. Whats going to happen if I quit giving Japan my soul,
attention, goodwill, support, money, and business? Ive already taken my AnimeTV
plaques off my wall.
Is it possible for me to breath, exist, live, and not have five more sanity breakdowns and
suicide attempts without anime? The industry is turning too young for my tastes. I
justDont want the same things I did when it was all new to me. Now it just all feels
old. Maybe Ill get back into American shows, future ones like Avatar, Ben 10 AF, and
Star Wars: Clone Wars. I do like good Amercan products too. But this new No anime
policy does feel a bitweird.
Scorpio is considered by many to be a power sign, the most powerful sign in the Zodiac.
One of the Power Signs
The Numerology number 22/4 is considered the most powerful Numeroscope number,
The Master Number 22, One of the Master Numbers
Either Ive got all the power in the world and the universe revolves around me, because
of the internet and digital media, or I merely think I do and am unable to separate my
thoughts from reality. Im willing to bet its the former.
Also, Ive observed that Im often not content to be big. Now that Im powerful, I dont
just want to be powerful. I probably, deep down in my subconscious mind want to be the
Most Powerful, either in America or in the Entire world, and at least in media.

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Well, it looks like things are looking up for me, but looking way down for the people
who came before us:

The new technology and medium I pioneered on the web has gotten a write up in
Forbes.
I received a notification saying Im eligible for a media industry award (Telly
Award)
Adult Swim has started using some of the technology I helped with: DVD-onDemand

Forbes Magazine recently compiled a list of The Most Powerful People in The World
1. Barack Obama (U.S. President)
2. Hu Jintao (Prime Minister, China)
3. Vladimir Putin
4. Ben S. Bernanke
5. Sergey Brin and Larry Page (Founders, Google)
6. Carlos Slim Helu
7. Rupert Murdoch
8. Michael T. Duke
9. Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz al Saud
10. William Gates III (Entrepreneur, Founder, Microsoft, Windows)
11. Pope Benedict XVI
12. Silvio Berlusconi
13. Jeffrey R. Immelt
14. Warren Buffett
15. Angela Merkel
16. Laurence D. Fink
17. Hillary Clinton
18. Lloyd C. Blankfein
19. Li Changchun
20. Michael Bloomberg
21. Timothy Geithner
22. Rex W. Tillerson
23. Li Ka-shing
24. Kim Jong Il
25. Jean-Claude Trichet
26. Masaaki Shirakawa
27. Sheikh Ahmed bin Zayed al Nahyan
28. Akio Toyoda
29. Gordon Brown
30. James S. Dimon
31. Bill Clinton

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One thing I do find weird, though, is that I have such a small amount of money, and yet
my zodiac sign, Scorpio, proclaims people like me to be some kind of race of Economic
Masters and Geniuses. If that were true, Id be richer than God. But instead, I live in
poverty. The only money I get is the money from the government for living assistance
every month. I certainly dont feel like an economic Master or Guru, even though money
is just as important to me as it is to any entrepreneur.
Ive more than held my own against Cartoon Network, Adult Swim, NBC, Viacom, and
Disney. Those guys are real certified sharks. I cant really think of many people working
in television who are as powerful as the men and women running those networks. They
have more power than any actor. God I hope theyre not reading this and getting a
swollen head. Though I suspect that is exactly the case. Those guys will never pal around
with anyone, and no one is their real friend. All they have is employees or enemies, and
very cold, distant relationships with anyone near them. Kind of an unfair media power
structure if you ask me. They dont like taking chances, and yet they still expect millions
of people to tune in every day. Thats more than a little silly. Its not really fair to the
people of this world to only give most of the power and money to 1% of the people.
Ive recently started getting into the Gundam Universe again. Mastermind Yoshiyuki
Tominos visionary metaseries.
Theres:

Mobile Suit Gundam

Zeta Gundam
Gundam ZZ
Mobile Suit Victory Gundam
Mobile Fighter G Gundam
Gundam Wing
After War Gundam X
Turn A Gundam
Gundam SEED
Gundam 00
Gundam Unicorn

Im going to rent, buy, and collect the DVDs for all of theseeventually. Ill make a
private Wish List on Amazon in the meantime.

Im beginning to think all of my efforts to become big and successful are all in vein,
sabotaged by none other than myself. Ive got no one to blame but, my fat self.

Im considering joining up with an agency, at least in terms of selling something. Im

planning on eventually purchasing a copy of the Writers Market, the Artists Market, as

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well as paying out of my pocket for the memberships at The Creative Artists Agency
and The Writers Guild of America.
I DID IT. I FUCKING DID IT. I know the secret now. After a decade of struggling with
that very mystery, after tons of work, a decades worth of artistic experimentation and
labor, Ive finally come across a manga technique that works.
Heres the deal:
Despite great progress in my thumbnails, Im still struggling in generating material for a
decent comic book panel.
Me 4 or 5 years back, exhausted, frustrated, and helpless
I can now DRAW A PANELThanks to Digital Image Pro. I can now DRAW A
PAGE OF PANELS, REGARDLESS OF HOW MANY THERE ARE. THIS is my
major victory against the amateur-saboteur side of myself, the part of me I hate. Ive
defeated that part of my being and have emerged victorious, against nature, against
ignorance and frustration, against my own lack of talent and skill, and maybe especially
against even God himself, who could have helped me overcome the panel mystery
trials and tribulation at any time, but instead gave me nothing but fatigue. Yeah, eff you
God. I accomplished my mission despite you not wanting me to. Now, in the next 10
years or so, now that I know how to do panels on a comics page (in cut and paste
storyboard editing form of couse), I can REALLY afford to show off. Fuck. Yes. This
calls for celebration. A hearty meal. Dancing and sex. Or not.

Now that Ive determined what Im really good at and can do really easily, its time to
hone those crafts to a tee. To perfection and flawlessness. Whether its DVD authoring,
costume design, comic book page illustrating, or screenwriting, if Im any good at it
whatsoever, it will be keeping me busy and full of activity, starting this year 2010, and
carrying me all the way through to 2015 or 2020. Five or ten years, just like I gave myself
5 or 10 years with Monos design and my journals. If its too obscure to be recorded in
books yet, and/or Im the only one who knows about it on an expert level, then dang it, I
know what I must do.

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I am an aspiring screenwriter. Of what genre you ask? Anime action and martial arts
fighting of course, as well as sword and planet, military fantasy, and science-fantasy.
Literary reference material?
The Matrix (screen-time; screenplay)
Kill Bill (screen-time; screenplay)
Dragonball Z (screen-time)
Shaw Brothers (screen-time)
Naruto (screen-time)
Yuen Woo-Ping / John Woo (screen-time)
AKIRA (screen-time, production books)
Blade of the Immortal (comic book layouts)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (screen-time)
Samurai Champloo / Afro Samurai

Im not out to brag, but in my opinion, because of what Ive managed to pull off through
my comics so far, Ive managed to take comics and animation in an entirely new
direction, in both the East and the West. Western Animation Action and High Fantasy in
animation wasnt taken as seriously in the past before I carved out my own niche in it, on
the internet. Before me, there was Japanese anime, Bruce Timm animation, and Todd
McFarlanes style, and of course George Lucas and Lord of the Rings. Fortunately, now
theres also me and what seems like a bit more of a serious, post-Disney, post HannahBarbera approach to animation. Ive given much of Western filmmaking the stylistic
facelift it really needed (in my opinion). This might seem like Im making it up now, but
in 10 years from now, its all going to be very different, and Ill be responsible for much
of that progress.
Just like what happened to Todd McFarlane, I have the networks coming at me with these
big plans for MY books, wanting to turn my vision, Parallax, into some kind of silly
Childrens show, just like they tried to do with Spawn, with that same ignorant mindset
that just because its a comic book, its for kids, and should be a childrens cartoon or
some kind of stupid-assed comedy show. Its the same exact situation of people who
fail to recognize what Im really about. And when I say theyre coming at me, theyre
really jumping out of nowhere at me, those networks. Its animation history repeating.

I have two forms of labor I have left to complete on a consistent basis for long periods of
time before I can call it a day Those two things are
Comic Book Storyboards (5-10-Page Intervals)
Action Screenplay Scripts (26-Page Intervals)

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Easy enough, now that I dont have to worry about formatting as much, if at all, thanks to
software.
Learning is a never-ending quest. I, JM, am on a never-ending Quest to learn Knowledge.
Knowledge is power, and Im always on a Quest to learn the Secrets of Asia, its art, its
business and industry, its people, its spirit, and its culture, be it Hong Kong or Japan. This
way, I can apply these skills and knowledge and use their power to enhance the quality of
my own career and life
Its all about the power of knowing How; The Power of How. Theres the Power of
Now, and the Power of How. Often, Analysis, Research, Intuition, Study, and Deduction,
tell me exactly what I need to know in order to know How to do something.

How to make a comic book illustrated novel.

How to sell a project
How to make animation
How to sell a movie idea
How to be productive
How to sell a patent
How to make money
How to draw better

Curious people, especially in America, never get bored of asking How? I know I never
get bored of it.
Wanna travel but hate flying?
Hire a chauffeur and Drive around. Or take a train.
Wanna visit overseas but are afraid of flying over vast oceans?
Call a travel agent and take a boat.

Scripts??! HA! Ive ALREADY written over 1,200+ pages worth of 5 entirely different
books, all with very little spacing between each line. How friggin easy is writing 30
volumes worth of 26-pg scripts going to be. REALLY easy, if my estimate is correct. Ill
start off with writing nothing but descriptions, in the first few scripts, set them up like a
regular book manuscript, then condense them down and sprinkle dialogue segments
throughout. At first it will just be fanfiction or fan script except it will be in industry
format, based on what I see in my reference material. But then Ill internalize it and
REALLY get the hang of it, hopefully by halfway or two thirds of the way through this
year. Sometime around June or August of 2010, I should have the internalization of it
mastered. And thats probably overestimating my learning curve in adjusting to pro-level
screenwriting.

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In my sketchbooks, I really let my imagination take flight into the great vast beyond,
literally and figuratively. I was finally able to capture mono in flight, in a quick sketch,
where hes in his usual attire, except his body is upright, and he is floating thousands of
feet above the ground, powered by his own super-human abilities, with two drawn
swords, DBZ style. I added the swords, or katanas, for that extra bit of creative flavor and
it looks quite awesome. Ive always wanted to draw Mono in flight with a background,
weapons and everything, Flying Swordsman style, for a long time now. Now I finally
did, and it looks amazing, even for a rough sketch out of random. Its certainly one of my
more epic and creative sketches. I like the Asian cinema (and mythological folklore)
concept of flight in Chinese and Japanese cinema, so I finally utilized the technique
myself. Id made previous attempts, but none in this much anatomical and drapery
structure and detail.

Even though I do love Kill Bill I & II and The Matrix trilogy of films, and view them as
the best Western attempts at action in modern cinema to date, at the same time, the films
unfortunately suffer from the perhaps unintentional flaw of doing more pragmatic using
of East Asian cinema than actual re-interpreting. The best element of the best scene in the
Matrix, the shootout fight choreography, was not actually directed by the Wachowskis
directly. They merely oversaw the sequence. The real director of the sequence was the
famous Hong Kong fight choreographer, Yuen Woo-Ping. The same is true for the finale
of Kill Bill Vol. 1. The real secret to those films new style is not so much the Producers
or directors, but the borrowing and derivativeness of the Epic Scenes Asian fight
choreographer himself: Yuen Woo-Ping. Without him, those films would have been a lot
clumsier than they were, and not elegant martial arts poetry in Western form (to a
degree). To say nothing of the commission of Production I.G. to create Kill Bill Volume
1s anime-style O-Ren Ishii Sequence.
I know exactly why Asian cinema sells so much in America. Because it is consistent in
style. Consistency of a well liked style sells. Thats often the reason a lot of sequels and
shows bomb. Because the movie or show doesnt deliver on its original archetypal style
that made it a success in the first place. If you can stay consistent with a talent, you can
become incredibly rich.
March seems to mostly have a spirit of goodwill about it. At least in my little world. Lots
of good things have been happening in my world lately. I might finally get to make
money off of some of my work. Assuming Im able to self-edit it enough to live up to my
own standard, and assuming anyone is actually interested.
Everyone in the media seems to know about Nicole, my old girl who is a friend by now.
But the Winry avatar Im using on the ASMB seems to be REALLY confusing people.
Winry from FMA looks just like my Original girl who is a friend whos name I wont
say here. Winry is basically a cartoon version of that friend. The likeness is uncanny.
Insider joke not many people get I guess.

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You wont get noticed in the anime world or taken seriously on a mainstream level, if
you dont have the support of the Otaku and Anime Industry Machine. Because it is a
machine. If youre chosen for that sort of glamorous lifestyle, like any machine, including
Hollywood and TV, it chews you up and spits you out. Not even many longstanding
industry veterans get the goodwill of this circle. And no one knows how to control it,
including the people with the most amount of goodwill in that area. Im not one of those
people. Actually, Im kind of glad Im not. Because that leaves the outer territories to me,
what with comics like Cerebus, Galaxion, Paradigm Shift, Jhonen Vasquez, Todd
McFarlane, Jeff Smith, Frank Miller, Stan Sakai, Katsuhiro Otomo, Production IG, the
creators at Williams Street, and Scud. The pure indie self-made self-publishing grounds
in other words. The otaku HATE people like us. That is why we need to stick together,
because everyone already knows if youre self published, the Anime Machine will show
you no love. I realized something important today. All those creators who do the books I
mentioned, will never be where the real spotlight is. If were not there yet, we never will
be. We fringe counterculture non-anime outsiders need to stick together. The show biz
mainstream is not a kind place to us.

Unemployment, and weight problems all seem to run in my family. Not my adoptive
family. My birth family.

Every time I get discouraged, I feel like Im ready to retire and throw in the towel. This
big dive into insecurity happened, oddly enough, right around the time one of my books
came within an inch of being sold through Amazon.com.

This is what the I Ching predicted about if Ill be able to make money, obstacles and
whatnot:
Humiliation, but in the end good fortune.
In other words, my rivals and enemies will probably try to humiliate me to death, but
when that dust clears, Ill probably make money.
Gross out humor, perversion, idiotic nymphets, villainization, fecal matter, shit jokes. All
these will be used in my enemies arsenals in numerous attempts to humiliate me. Theyll
also probably be used in various political embarrassment ninja humiliation attacks. Good
thing Im courageous enough to handle it.

Next Assignment:
Im going to be developing my old/new style of Notan illustrations. I cant go around
trying to please DeviantART all my life. Eventually Im going to have to turn to my
intuition and gut instinct, and the opinion of my more prestigious peers. If theyre using

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the same stylistic visual techniques Im using, and theyre super professional and
published internationally, that is good enough for me. Im going to be using two kind of
drawings Ive done some time ago, a year or three ago, that utilize the Japanese Notan
style and technique. In my artistic philosophy, what you Dont Say has just as much of an
impact on your audience as what you Do Say, both in life and in Visionary art.
Therefore, in my coming illustration work, I will be working with a very contrasted
composition element. There will be two types of drawing:

Black and White Foreground character sketch or drawing.

Black Film Noir Background.

Black and White Foreground Character sketch or drawing, or silhouette.

White Yen Press style background

In the past, I used to just call the ones with black BGs comic book or manga covers,
and call it a day. But now Im in the mood to experiment. Im beginning to want to just
draw black and white angular shapes and patterns on what will in the future be a
computer generated black ink background. Ive got some good illustrations lying around
dormant in me. I just need to find a way to get them out, onto the page.

Some Notes on Art and Drawing

I reached a new all time high level in my artwork today, or is it tonight, at the beginning
of March 2010. Ive started drawing partially Japanese-styled dojinshi, adding my own
little twists on the piece I did today. Im excited with how it turned out. Its one of my
best manga-related drawings Ive done yet.
Also, the only way to reach the really detailed anime style masterpiece level in anime is
by drawing dojinshi or at least pretending youre trying to draw like established artists.
Also, with the higher you climb and skill and mastery, the fewer amount of friends you
have. Well, that happens to you if youre me anyway. Dont know about other artists. But
then again, they may draw better than me.but theyre not me, so chances are they will
have a much easier time with the fan magnetism thing. Actually, I find time and time
again that with the better my real art actually gets, the fewer amount of friends I have in
this world, regardless of whether Ive broken into the mainstream or pop culture or
not. Other famous artists have the same problem in some ways: Not being even 1/100th as
popular as youre most famous vision.
One should always be sure not to lose their cool and modesty if one were to start drawing
illustrations that actually looked professional on a national level, or at least did a drawing
like that every so often, with reference.

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Its sort of hard and difficult to share the new me with old friends. Im not sure what
theyll think of my new transformation.
Did this drawing yesterday:

At this point, Ive discovered I really like and have an easy time with copying, dojinshi
style, so I may focus on drawing mostly anime dojinshi, or at least something based on
anime and equally challenging. Ill draw almost anything, as long as its angular, sleek,
and folded like this piece. For some reason, why do I feel like the whole copying dojinshi

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thing is starting to make me feel just a little bit like Nyanko-Chan. I dont know if Ill
ever reach that level, but with this piece, I seem to be headed to a more detailed style. At
least Ive broken away from my typically more simple style. At least Im headed in the
right direction, in terms of my drawings Japanese-ness. Someone on the web called that
drawing above very Japanese. I felt kind of honored that they thought it was a
Japanese drawing in any way whatsoever. My guess is, it was the designy element, the
detailing, and the costume detailing and design. Even if its based on pre-existing animemanga, Ive still added my own flavor of originality to it IMO.

I definitely do copy from other artistsbut more specifically, the mastersas a way to
teach myself how to draw well.
My biggest fine art influences: Rima Jabbur, Eugene Delacroix, The Ninja Turtles
My biggest comic book influences: Yasuhiro Nightow, Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, Frank
Miller, Jhonen Vasquez.
Animation: Bruce Timm, Jhonen Vasquez, Corey Senderov Jackson
Ive studied certain works from these artists the most, and emulated them quite a bit.

Modern Day Romanticism:

Syd Mead (Blade Runner)
Paul Cezanne
Eugene Delacroix
Steve Spielberg
Ghost in the Shell (Film I & II)
Conan The Barbarian Novel Covers
Simon Bisley (Conan)
Boris Vallejo (Conan, Aqua Teen movie)
Julie Bell (Conan, Aqua Teen movie)
Yoshiyuki Sadamoto paintings
Alex Grey
Lord of the Rings
Rima Jabbur
Leonardo
Raphael
Michelangelo
Donnatello
Gonzo (Logo)
THORES Shibamoto
Last Exile (OP)
Range Murata

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Think Post Apocalypse New-Earth Dystopian Wasteland

Study (and research imagery and information of) These Fine Art Paintings:
Reference and combine the following in my Production Paintings
(Production Design: Photoshop, Acrylics, Charcoal, No. 2 pencil)
Get it to resemble these schools / styles

National (French) Romanticism

Renaissance Religious and Secular Painting
Conan Novel and Comics Covers (and Production Design / Compositions /
Layouts)
Blade Runner Star Wars (Production Design Production Designer Syd Mead)
Lord of the Rings (Peter Jackson, Weta Digital, Alan Lee
Metropolis Fritz Lang
Star Wars Production Illustration Ralph McQuarrie
Dantes Inferno Literature and Production I.G.
Alex Proyas Production Designer Patrick Tatopoulos (I, Robot)

I think I really need to learn to stop talking to myself aloud. I just need to become more
accustomed to silence. Silence often surrounds me, assuming those particular predator
neighbors arent outdoors all day and evening, shooting their mouths off at anyone within
screaming and engine-revving distance. But I digress.
Ive seen it happen time and again. Someone in my life, some mentor, teacher, role
model, more established pro, or colleague offers a small piece of wisdom, insight, or a
lesson moral, or even a code of conduct to life by. Thats where I often step in. I
overhear the statement, take it out of context, run with it, and eventual catastrophe and
disaster in my life happens as a result of me living by such a code. The world survives
and we live to see another day. It definitely seems to be a repeating personal recipe and
formula for personal misfortunate and disaster. Maybe its not so good when I read too
much into things.

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And now a word about my biology:

Phonobobia, Hyperacusis, and Hyperacuteness.
I have all three of these conditions, and they could have been caused by my aspergers
syndrome, since it is technically a form of autism.
I have super sensitive hearing. I can hear everything outside my house, and certain
sounds terrify me.
Sounds that terrify (and that sometimes traumatize) me:

Outdoors
Town bullies yelling things at me
Aggressively driven automobiles
The sound of real screaming (not tv screaming)
The sound of horror movies
The sound of many Hollywood action movies in THX
The sound of a movie theatre (THX and surround sound)
Concerts
Loud sounds created by other people, or ones I cant control
Crowds of people
Live studio or theatre or stadium audiences
Stand up comedy
Sports games
Traffic
High and Middle School kids
School grounds at crowded times
Belligerent sounds
Real carnage and disaster
News sounds
Car horns
My brothers voice when hes belligerent
Fireworks

In otherwords, almost everything social. It comes with being a linguistic genius.

As long as there is too much sound in my area, I cant attain peace. Fuck, if theres too
much sound, I cant even focus or concentrate on what Im doing.
Unharmonic sound makes me sick. Or at least ill.

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Ive learned a few things. In some ways, within the minority, I am common, its a small
industry after all. In other ways, Im not common at all. Im in the 0.01%.
For example, in being ingenious and having the talents I do, that isnt common at all.
If I put what I do up to the minority of existing participants in the industry I work in, my
talents are actually commonplace. It depends on how you look at it.

In truth, anime is a small industry. I added up all the people filling the main and semisecondary roles in anime from around Japan, the U.S., China, Korea, Canada, and France,
and there were only roughly about 15,000 people listed alphabetically, working in anime
at any point in time, dead or alive. Adult Swims most popular anime series, on a typical
night, get around 300,000 or so viewers, maybe 500,000 or so if it was Death Note or
Bleach. Everything else gets between 150,000 300,000 viewers.
So if you add up the fanbased, there are around 165,000 315,000 active anime people
working and participating in the industry at any one time. The conventions make it look
10 times bigger than that. There just arent that many hardcore or esteemed anime people
out there at any one point in time.

I develop my own style by getting inside the mind and headspace of my favorite artists
and illustrators and drawing in their own style as much like them as I can. I am the
ultimate copy-artist. Its how I work, practice, get better, grow, evolve, and learn. Doesnt
matter where theyre from. If I like their style, I will copy from it.

What exactly constitutes the mainstream nowadays:

TV
The national news
Talk Shows
Radio shows
Newsstand Magazines
Awards Shows
Tabloids
CNN
Yahoo News
Hollywood
Parodies
Public shout-outs
Wikipedia

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When it comes to me, there is a lot of ground to cover. I am famous and all. But even if
you take all the fame and power away, there is still the franchise of underground projects
Ive done:
[The underground empire]

Self-published, non distributed Journal books

Essays book that almost got listed in a bookstore
Self-published, locally distributed Comic books
Indie-Manga-Webcomics, on a national site
Underground collaborations and correspondence with toon players
Message Board Press Releases (Other Anime, ASMB)
Blog commentary
DVD indie manufacturing
Portfolio of artwork (private collection)
Online Photo Album and Art Portfolio (DeviantART)
Pirate Online Broadcast Channel (YouTube)
MixTapes
Short Films, Anime Music Videos

I like the best artists in the world

I like the best writers in the world
I like the best bands in the world
I associate with the best countries in the world
I own the best albums in the world
I like the best filmmakers and TV producers in the world
I like the best animation creators in the world
I like the best shows and movies in the world
I like the best songs in the world
I watch the best channels in the world
I got to the best websites in the world
I watch the best anime in the world
I like the best comic books in the world

Only the best, that put the rest to shame with the test
They are the best, strongest, most ingenious, most brilliant, most skillful visionaries this
side of the universe. From all over the world, or at least its more fine points
Seeing some kind of a pattern emerging here? I thought so.

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Im immortal, and Ill continue to be immortal even during and after death. The fact that
Ive become a famous icon in the underground circuit and will become an even bigger
icon in the future, will more than likely make me famous enough of an icon to be a part
of history. And when youre a part of history, if you achieve the possession of any sort of
revolution, empire, legacy, or institution in societys history of any sort in general, in
other words, if they put you in history and textbooks, do documentaries about you on TV
And in magazines and books and whatnot, you already are immortals. My creative
projects are the easiest way for me to attain powerful immortality and never really die.
Immortality is best achieved through lasting legacy and revolution.
When Yuen Woo-Ping choreographs a fight scene in one of his movies, the script will
often be shockingly simple for that fight scene, and can be as simple as saying in the
screenplay They fight, leaving the movement ideas up to Yuen. It really is that
easyfor him anyway.
Wuxia, anime, and HK Cinema are all about animation and movement, speed and stealth.
Strategy and everything else.
Favorite lesser known, underappreciated Asian Filmmakers and Projects: Shaw Brothers,
Yoshiyuki Tomino, Zatoichi: The Blind Swordsman, Storm Riders, The One Armed
Swordsman, THORES, Cellar FCP.
One of the only real ways to reach immortality and eternal life is through fame and
timeless celebrity documentation. Being documented as a celebrity. Because being
remembered is another way of being eternal. Youll always be there. Even after you die.
Theres good news and bad news that comes with my success story.
The good news is: I will achieve my goal and vision of becoming a great artist and writer,
and general creative force.
The bad news: It has been created at the expense of my popularity, sanity, health, close
relations, and/or social life. I dont have any of those things anymore.

Parallax Notes:
Spoiler Warning:
At the end of my Parallax Book, Mono Jubei, the reincarnated samurai, upon defeating
the evil Cult-Leader and Overlord Antichrist Nosferatu, Mono, upon dying in the final
battle with Nosferatu, ascends into the cosmos and attains the rank of Ascended Samurai,
and attains Immortality, and becomes and authentic Sage Spirit. This subject isnt
discussed until the conclusion of the first and maybe only Parallax graphic novel.

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Japan has borrowed all, or at least MOST of its modern innovations from other cultures,
including: The internet, film, technological manufacturing, car manufacturing, high art,
martial arts (China), celebrity, writing, literature, TV, radio, news, and modern food. As
well as comics and manga, anime, animation, modern weaponry, and music. Am I
leaving anything out. The DVD being the only partial exception, even if it was co
invented with either Sony or IBM of America. The CD was invented by IBM.

Webcomics dont pay. Comics and animation, of any sort, dont pay. Ive been looking at
too many of the success stories, the creator executive producers of the world. I need to
look at more of the interns and assistant animators and in-betweeners. See how much
theyre making. Not much more than me. I know that much.
Adult Swim wont accept Parallax. I know that much. So I need to look at my other
options:
Film Roman OVA
Manga OVA or DVD series
DVD Series
CW4Kids
Ani-Mondays
Disney XD
Nicktoons Network
Franime
Cartoon Network
SyFy
In other words, basically anyone whos still or just starting off on air should not be ruled
out automatically, just because some of their shows suck or whatever.
Anime just isnt a sound business decision anymore, like it used to be. It used to be a
wise thing to invest in, but all that glory is gone, now that sales are declining and its
declining in popularity. Hollywood pays. Mainstream live action TV pays. Animation
and anime dont.

I am the God of speed and stealth. Im also timeless and immortal, due to my fame. My
comes from my fast quickness, stealth, and speed. MY power is the power of motion.
That would explain why I hate things that are slow and slowed down. Motion is meant to
be fast.

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Favorite Fast things:

Music: Primus
TV: Toonami, Adult Swim
Anime: IGPX, Dead Leaves, Samurai, DBZ
Regular Animation: Sam and Max
Comics: DBZ, Akira
Sports, History: Racing, Samurai, Ninja

Unfortunately, not everyone in mainstream (or independent) media speaks the language
of fast, the language of velocity. If I ever get a screen media project, or whenever I do, I
will give my crew and staff specific instructions to make it always extremely fast paced
and action-ish as much as possible.

Alcohol has grown on me. It kind of helps me forget about my daily stress for a short
time. I suspect that is why so many become alcoholics. Im fueled by energy drinks and
alcohol.
Some days I get work done. Some days I get nothing done.
Some days are good and peaceful/easy. Some are hellish, stressful, and horrible.
Some days I have money. Some days I dont.
Some days there are people around to talk to. Other times theres not
Sometimes Im up to my job. Other days, Im incompetent, and far from capable.
Never stop working on improving Improvement and incremental change are just
another way of expressing the Japanese work philosophy known as Kaizen.
Ive been practicing Kaizen without even knowing it for a long time now. Always
working toward improvement just comes naturally for my mind. If I reach a peak or a
new level, I naturally want to go beyond it to the next level of quality.
In a more traditional anime studio (not an independent co-production one like on Oban),
you drive to work and stop by at a typically L.A. based studio everyday at work hours,
walk inside the studio, take your seat and get to work, individually, or collaborating with
producers and other artists and writers. I used to dream of living that kind of good life.
Now Im stuck with this ghetto assed production lifestyle, where Im stuck doing a
million things as though Im in the Dark Ages again, from my ghetto ass house. I hate it!
I fucking hate it! And on top of that, because my project is not corporately funded, Im
forced tosingle-handedlybuild Thunder Lightning Productions and Epicenter Studios
into an actual business with no budget, only my own power, will-power, and limited
beginners resources, and maybe a little encouragement from my more famous allies
every once in a while. This lifestyle sucks! Nobody envies this lifestyle. No one even
wants to be me. If youre working in mainstream comics and animation, at least

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somebody wants to be you. Nobody wants to be me. So depressing. If no one wants to be

me, then that makes even me not want to be me.
We recently bought a punching bag, particularly for Andrew and his anger and rage
issues, now that hes started working out. I suppose Andrew does sort of need an outlet
other than concrete walls and wooden doors to punch when he gets really mad. In the past
hes left many holes in our houses walls and wooden doors doing that.
Now that Andrew has a punching bag, the tall kind, he actually let me use it. Now Im in
one sense able to train at getting stronger just like hes been able to. One of my kicks
knocked the entire metal punching bag over, but fortunately Andrew caught it before it
toppled over. Im not saying Im that strong, but the training garage dojo will make me
stronger if I keep at it.

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Chapter 13

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Friday, March 19, 2010

Not much to write about as of now. Lost 6 lbs.
The thing is. I know how havingand suffering frommental and physical fatigue is. It
came in with my weight gain problems that were a result of the anti-psychotic pills my
parents make me take, just in case I claim to be famous again.
With fatigue, its a very heavy, very weighty tiredness. A lot of physical activity is near
impossible, unless you want to break bones, sprain muscles, puke, or have a heart attack
from over-exhaustion and overexertion.
Fatigue is a battle or war with not only lack of vitality and physical weakness, but also
physical exhaustion.
When youre struck and stricken by fatigue, its a battle just to not remain stationary for
the entire day. It causes the clutter in your room to get out of hands, with messes up the
feng shui. Simple, easy tasks take a lot of extra inaccessible energy and strength to finish,
or even get started on. Its a torturous, painful, laborious, ordeal doing real work or even
clerical work when youre suffering from medical drug and depression induced fatigue.
Online broadcasting channel (SplitAtomBooms Channel) reached the 50,000 viewer
mark in the last week or two. Pretty amazing.
The first time I made a TV show with an animation studio, or more specifically, anime
company, it didnt go so well. I got let go from the anime dubbing studio that hired me in
the first place, Bang Zoom Entertainment (Rurouni Kenshin, Bleach, Samurai Champloo,
Heat Guy J) after season 1 of Anime TV, along with all the other online reviewers, for
reasons unspecified.
A lot of people seem to think that if you have Adobe Flash Professional, you can just
automatically make streaming video websites like Hulu and YouTube with only Adobe
Flash, and nothing more. Buzz! Eh! Wrong. You need web design software as well, to
design the HTML for the GUI, not just the streaming video compression software like
Flash.
Hmm. How am I going to market my skills as a web designer, developer, programmer
and engineer of internet television and streaming media video, so I can hopefully make
an actual niche out of my skills one day. One that actually pays. Or at least one niche that
actually functions more like a team business.
Im planning on becoming more of an official webmaster one day. Ive found some
online webmaster forums that seem pretty good for networking online. They even have a
whole folder on one forum specifically for hiring workers. I know I already run some
websites, but theyre owned by someone else. For instance, my Blogger, DA, and
YouTube accounts, obviously belong to the companies that founded said websites.

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Honestly? Yes. I do want to become a paid uploader. Theres a lot of those on

streaming media sites.
YouTube, Bang Zoom, Adult Swim, DeviantART, Williams Street, Funimation,
Tokyopop, Cartoon Network, Viz, Production I.G., WCN, and ANN could have made me
a lot more rich and famous than Ive ever been, if they had only chosen to put their all
powerful spotlight on me. But they have collectively chosen to make me one of their socalled insider behind the scenes fan-professional. They have enough publicity power on
the web that they could make a retarded midget famous in the anime and media world if
they wanted to. And yet they choose a lot of people who do a lot less than what I do. I
dont know if theyre all in cahoots, but for some reason theyve aimed the spotlight
around me, as opposed to actually being on me. The thing is, Im very famous with
insiders, webmasters, writers, marketing copy writers, and bosses within said companies,
but for some reason, perhaps guided by some sort of hidden wisdomWeird. Maybe
there is some industry politics reason for doing this. I mean, they are known for having a
lot of power. And also, I know theyre not that stupid. Theyre not anywhere as stupid as
the trolls and everybody else. Theyre smart enough to already be aware of me secretly. I
know for a fact that all the famous media companies always keep an eye on the real stars
and indeed I am one of the real stars, therefore they all know of me and my work. I guess
being famous in the inner circle does pay better in the long run. Im sure they know
that too.
A lot of people from Japan are commenting on many of my videos on YouTube.
Even though Im indifferent to Spongebob, I still like the voice actor whos portrayed
him for 10+ years, Tom Kenny. Hes a pro and a veteran. He is to comedy what Steve
Blum is to drama.
I do like being the boss. Being the manager of a science teamwhere people take orders
from meis sounding better and better.

Man. Animation has changed a lot since I was a kid. Almost no kid in America draws
like an American anymore other than me and a few others. They all draw, or at least
attempt to draw in the Japanese anime style.
The question is not When is Mono actually holding two blades like Musashi?
The question is When is Mono Jubei actually NOT holding two blades like Musashi?
And with that black trenchcoat, his threads are stylin.

I really am growing tired of explaining my motives to a world that neither understands or

sympathizes with my philosophy, other than a special few. So from now on, Im going to
avoid explaining myself and my motives in my journals as much. I already know all there
is to know about me. Time to let other people do some guess work.

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My element of power is movement, motion, and quickness or speed. If things arent

moving, Im not living. If things arent moving, Im not profiting. Things have got to be
in motion in some way, in a fast way for the most part, otherwise Im one of the walking
dead. The only thing that makes that bearable is drinking and eating and DVDs and
internet. Otherwise Im the walking dead. If Im motionless, Im dead, Im poor, Im not
profiting, Im depressed and bored. I definitely get a thrill out of things in an imaginary
or hypothetical world that are swift, stealthy, and fast paced.

Just today, upon exploring the power of my motion expertise, I stumble upon a very
beautiful digital art style I was not aware of, that isnt Photoshop.
Its called digital CGI Motion Graphics. Its how shows like Naruto and IGPX of
recently use CGI or motion graphics To create a blur surrounding moving body parts
and limbs, moving backgrounds, and moving props. Its just good for blurring moving
objects in general. If I ever get into full on animation, Ill be sure to use motion graphics
and speed blurring on Monos anatomy, flairs, swords, and weapons, as well as all the
other characters and backgrounds he moves, jumps and flies around with, as well as some
of the backgrounds. Not to mention multiplaning. It will reproduce what the speed lines
do in my comic books.
Lately, Ive been up to my latest hobby: Editing video and creating motion blur for
certain segments with Adobe After Effects.

Im not so much an artist or illustrator as a designer, author, and engineer. Im an

engineer.

BOOKMARK
East Asian cinema talk:
Im one of the first of a new generation of comics creators and filmmakers on the
American scene. Post-John-Woo, post-Tarantino-Kill-Bill, post-Wachowski-Matrix, and
post Toonami and Adult Swim. Post-Postmodern Asian-Influenced mid-20-somethings.
And weve got a taste for action and destruction and violence and intensity in their
cinema patronage. We have access to the internet in ways previous generations didnt.
Were all coming to terms with both our lives and our magical manga powers. The first
Western generations a long time ago invented the mediums of comics and animation in
America, then Japan reverse engineered the technique and improved on it through people
like Tezuka, Otomo, and Miyazaki and Mamoru Oshii and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. Then
they in turn influenced the second to newest generation: The Tarantinos, Sean Akins,
Jhonen Vasquezes, Stu Levys, Todd McFarlanes and Wachowskis of the world,
followed a while later by the Nyanko-Chans in the world, all the way up to me and the
guy who does Paradigm Shift and the girl who does Galaxion, all making a concerted

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effort of modeling our work after the Far East once again with a new generations chance
to make a new kind of non-traditional impression on the East Coast Rising.

BOOKMARK
An authority figure is most powerfulmost of the timewhen he can give out
authoritative commands, direction, and instructions to his subordinates. That is the nature
of authoritative influence. People do what you ask or tell them to.

I guess my job for now is drawing fighting comics that are neither manga nor superhero,
and especially not indie, but take influence from both manga and indie.

The object is to win the war, not the battles. Arguments and smaller criticism, and public
reaction is a battle. Being the man in charge, and finishing all the projects, big and small,
is winning the war. In other words, my day to day struggles are battles. My career and
career goals are the wars.
Life and ones career is nothing but one big war made up of a lot of day-to-day, hour-byhour, week-by-week, month-by-month, smaller battles. That is the nature of Bing-Fa.
Each page I fill up with art, each sketch I do is a battle against the powers that be. The
powers that be want nothing but to hold me back behind them, most likely.
As much as I hate to admit it, being a proud woman-hater, the truth is, I just sort of
understand the collective psyche of women, even though I am a man. Why else would I
have such a good relationship with my mother and be so magnetic to so many females.
My former boss, Bang Zoom! Entertainment, has gotten some really high public praise
from Sean Akinscreative director of CNand Production I.G. of Japan, two of the
most prestigious names in animation, not to mention all the anime and co-productions
theyve worked on with people like Steve Blum, Johnny Young Bosch, Michelle Ruff,
Yuri Lowenthal, and Wendee Lee, with almost every major anime company, from
Bandai, Tokyopop, and Sunrise to Manga Entertainment.
In terms of anime, its turned into a very weird situation. China is finally catching up with
Japan in the East Asian animation industry. Japans success has declined in the last three
or so years, meanwhile the Chinese market has been quickly catching up to Japan, in
terms of the cinematic quality of Chinas animation. But it has yet to be seen whether or
not Japan and China will both end up rivals years from now, or allies. Funimation,
notable licensor and localizer-dubbing studio of what is all American and Japanese
animation, was actually the first major pro-Japanese company other than Tokyopop to
dabble in licensing Chinese cinema, albeit, live action classic Shaw Bros. wuxia films. It
still counts though. CN, or Cartoon Network has yet to air any Chinese anime that
doesnt end up looking like a shitty parody of itself (Chop Socky Chooks; Hero 108),

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while networks like Nicktoons are being a bit more liberal in their diplomatic approach to
promoting both contemporary Chinese and Japanese animation, as can be seen by
Dragonball Z Kai and Avatar the Last Airbender: Sozins Comet. Bottom line: It has yet
to be seen whether China and Japan will end up animation allies or rivals. Whether or not
Mono and Parallax fit into this equation has yet to be seen. Mono and Parallax could
always turn into nothing and/or turn me into one big loserif they fail.
I saved $1,000 in costs and expenses by doing nothing more than DVD-Recording,
burning, and ripping my favorite shows and movies, mostly anime.
SoWhat am I going to do today? Today, last day of March, the 31st, prelude to
tomorrow, the 1st of April, which is the day I get a DVR installed in my room.

Most reliable networks for providing recordable DVD material:

Cartoon Network / (Adult Swim)
Ani-Mondays
CW4Kids
Toon Disney
Nicktoons
Qubo
History
Ovation

Outlets
YouTube Video, Film, Anime, Animation, Broadcasting
DeviantART Anime-Manga Art, Comics Art, Illustrations, Galleries
ASMB Discussion, Animation, Anime and Manga
Wiki Education and Research
Google Information, Research

I can tell my encryption program wore off again.

Youd think with all the influence and power I have over the internet through sites like
YouTube, that negotiating and attaining an internet royalty content ownership contract
would be like nothing at all, that it would be the easiest thing in the world. It isnt. I get
treated like Im just a nobody with no experience. Instead its the hardest thing in the
world. Well, if Im ever interest in selling a property, I do have the phone number of an
anime studio Ive done volunteer work for.

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While I may be good with a script and writing, Im not very good at constructing a basic
comic book page. Ive never been all that good at it. I thought I could teach myself to get
better at it through sheer power of will or the power of autonomy, but that didnt quite
workout. Turns out resolution only gets you so far, and that goes for comics too. My
ambitions made so instead of planning and plotting 1 to 3 steps ahead and mastering that
simple beginner level so I could evolve to intermediate, kept thinking 12,000 steps in
advance, not taking the before hand strategizing to get to that point, into account at all.
Heres a question? How can I sell the content of my DVDs to retailers and/or online and
not break the law? Now thats a puzzle. Theres always the possibility of making my own
website of that nature. Every successful method I try ends up being illegal according to
copyright law. Like my YouTube page. It draws a very large worldwide audience, and
yet, Im not obeying copyright law. Oh well. Neither are the millions or thousands of
other anime fans on YouTube. Its become the norm online to break the copyright law. In
Japan, companies care about copyright protection. In America, hardly anyone does.
Thats part of why YouTube does succeed. It breaks the law and still wins.

Im glad Im backing off from computers for a while (starting today). Im going to be
quite busy sorting through all my new private room-based DVR recordings. Sgonna be
awesome. I dont know if Ill end up with any web-worthy video footage, but the bottom
line is, Ill have a lot of good footage and favorite shows of mine, digitally recorded on
DVR. That means, for the most part, I might never have to watch daytime and primetime
filler ever againfor the most part. No more putting up with all those bad sitcoms and
talk shows. I can just skip the motherfuckers.
And I never WILL watch them anymore neither. Especially not now that theres a choice
and I can watch any good current show I want to. Its really THAT easy nowadays. Ill
have nothing to do with such manifestations of boredom and lack of economic choice.

BOOKMARK
Probably not going to write much currently, at least for a little while (or I might. Dont
know). Mostly thats because Im obsessed with my TV and the DVR attached to it now.

IMPORTANT NOTE ON FICTION WRITING: The only way I can write fantasy and
fiction without an actual ending is by not writing an ending at all. Just let the story run
onand onthroughout the beginning and middle of the narrative, and eventually
cutting the narrative off at some point, and calling that the ending. If I plan out the
ending too much, that sets up one of many setbacks and roadblocks on my path. 1) If I
write out the ending ahead of time and have the ending in my mind, subconsciously I see
the book as already finished, and henceforth I have no reason to finish the damn thing.
Im just saying the same damn thing twice. 2) It takes the fun out of it. No longer will I
be able to surprise myself if I know what happens, especially in the end. I need to make

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my middles and beginnings as fun as my endings, so that endings are no longer the ideal
and beginnings are no longer drudgery. I probably need to intuit out and strategize and
write my novels and scripts in the same way I write my Manifestos: Without a planned
out ending or middle. Just write it. Simple and easy as that. Parallax is no longer going to
have the calculated ending and finale I had planned out in my mind. Theyre always
striving for the Goal of Finishing His Quest. But he never reaches it in the book. Or
maybe in one of the sequels the finale of Parallax will be the back story and it can
henceforth become some unseen sequence that the audience never fully sees in any one
book. Im planning on doing many Parallax books and volumes, some seen, some not:
Prequels, Sequels, Graphic Novels, Novels, One-Shots, 30-Minute Scripts, 2 Hour Movie
OVAs, Screenplays, co-productions, soundtracks, apparel, action figures, posters, video
games, DVDs, websites. You Name it! In terms of licensing, Im more than happy to go
there later on in my life, should the offer present itself. Thats just how I am:
Entrepreneurial and business minded. Global Thinker. All this for a story thats never
officially been finished.
Im not exactly comfortable being as popular in public and on the internet and TV as I
am. Being popular like myself isnt always easy. Nor is it safe. I cant go on the internet
or out in public publicly without some vampires and parasites trying to feed off of my
popularity, positivity, and charisma in some way, even if theyre just copycatting what I
do (and less successfully soby a lot). Im cursed with a lot of popularity in this world,
in numerous countries, cities, and states and in all sorts of media outlets all around the
world, mostly due to the internet. Its really quite terrifying. Ive become too popular to
interact safely or sanely with large crowds, in public, either indoors OR outdoors. The
crowd always attacks me in some way, either because I am that popular or because I am
that unpopular. Obviously, if producers are going to base their trendy TV show actors
and protagonists on me like they have, I cant be THAT unpopular.
Actually, now that I admit it, Im actually quite popular to the public. I have so much
extra, unneeded magnetism.
I shouldnt let my overseas and domestic internet peers discourage me with their claims
of me being a bad artist. A lot of people have told me Im a good artists despite that. Im
the best artist in Casselberry, maybe even in Orlando too. At least in terms of imaginative
design. Not to mention every time I look at the average style of the cartoons they play on
Cartoon Network and the like, my drawings and compositions always end up looking a
thousand times better. True, some of my work is not as badass as the best kind I do, but
some of it is that good. I need to remember that next time I fill up a sketchbook. I draw
better than half the American and Canadian shows on TV. The French and Japanese have
got me beat in terms of detail, and theyre not afraid to brag about it on sites like
DeviantART, but at the same they dont just kick my artistic ass. They kick everyone
elses artistic ass. Thats how Asians are. Art is one of their cultures best modern areas.
Im better off not even trying to compete with them.

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In a way, Cary is very two faced. He leads a double life. One in which he claims to both
love and cherish his wife, Peggy, and his job as a locally liked manager as a
pharmaceutical rep at one of the local drug store. On the other end, he lacks love for his
two sons, myself and Andrew and is constantly harassing, abusing, and starting fights and
confrontations with us, with a lot of confidence that we dont matter compared to that
Currently, with Mono narratives, and storytelling, I have:

1 Premise Page, Synopsis Page

1 Series Genre and Format Page
1 page of Fiction Writing
5 pages of scripting and screenwriting

Thats 8 pages total. Its all part of my series bible. No longer is it just a series bible. Its
a comprehensive literary treatment and write-up.
Page Tab

Graphic Novel: 100s of pages

Scripts: 26 pages
Novel: Around 150, 200 pages
Screenplay: 120 pages
Projects and Work Format

Film Animation: Screenplay: Script Pages

Animation Program: Layouts, Model Sheets, Scripts Storyboards
Comic Book: Panels, Pencils, Inks
Novel: Narrative

Half-Blood Prince
The truth is, my life is often divided into halves.
I have my fathers heritage and blood, and my mothers as well.

Im biracial, multi-ethnic. My birth parents were of different ethnicities/psyches

Im Half-White, Half-Arab
Half-Mystic-Healer, Half-Designer-Genius
Half-Scientist-Writer, Half-Artist
Half-British, Half-American

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Half-Right-Brain, Half-Left Brain

Half-Northerner (Michigan, Illinois), Half-Southerner (Central/South Florida)
Half my family is adoptive, the other half, blood, and no the two havent met
In other words, Im just about Half-Everything.

Turns out, according to National Geographic, part of my lineage comes from East Asia.
Mongolia and China. Im part Asian. Im part American, part Chinese. Ive always
thought I was connected to Asia spiritually in some way. And it turns out I amI have
ancestry there. So every victory I win in America is in fact a victory for Great Britain,
The Middle East, Australia, Africa, and East Asia, because I have family that can be
traced back to all of those regions at different times over the last few millennia. Its
natural for Asian writers to want every script or literary line they put down on paper to be
the most profound statement in the history of the world. But really, youve got to give
yourself a chance to write badly. To write a lot, one must overcome ones predilection
towards perfectionism, and maybe even prolificacy, but only if one isnt good at doing
epics. Maybe I should change my pseudonym to JL Strebler (James Lee Strebler). Sounds
more Chinese. Names are a big deal in China.
So technically, I already do have the natural talent to qualify as some form of an Asianminded artist. Its in my blood. All this time, I just wanted acceptance as an Asian artist
and filmmaker, and as it turns out, in terms of my blood ties, Ive had that secret weapon
in my biology and mind all along! Im ALREADY part Chinese and Southeast Asian. I
rock! But Ive also got the European art bug mixed in with the Asian Art Bug. Lucky me.
Ive got good genes I suppose. No wonder I like Sushi (Jap), anime, manga, manwha,
manhua, Asian culture, J-Pop, J-Rock, Asian history and filmmaking, wuxia, kung-fu,
Asian celebrity, travel, Buddhism, and meditation (probably among others). Its hidden
deep within the root of my genes. Historically speaking, I have ancestors linked to that
part of the world. This is big news in the world of my life. I always respected and
defended the Chinese, but now that I know Im one of them in terms of biology on a
historical and genealogical level, Im suddenly starting to realize the obsession with
Asian intellect, planning, creativity, etc., was justified on my part.
In a way, my newly discovered lineage branches from my family history on my blood
parents side, now that I know Im part Mongolian, has given me a newfound feeling of
credibility and authenticity, at least in terms of my passion for East Asia and its influence
on the United States. Im just as good of a filmmaker, artist, and comics artist as anyone
with Asian-Mongolian lineage.
The upcoming generation of artists and writers in America have no conception of
storyboarding, screenwriting, perspective, notan, or even architecture. I guess that leaves
it up to me to deal with. Ah well. The job of one man doing the work of the many.
Actually, Im a workaholic, so I kind of like it that way. I like the thought of one day
maybe, just maybe being at the level of Otomo, Sim, and McFarlane.

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Ive come to realize Im a recreational sinologist. I love studyingand reading up on

Chinese culture. I like studyingand educating myself inChinese art, culture,
spirituality, martial arts, pop culture, business, entertainment literature, and history.
I do like living in the United States, working in technology and the entertainment
industry, especially considering that the United States is now considered by many in the
international world community to be a true world player right beside Great Britain and
Japan in terms of being an Entertainment and Cultural Superpower.
Britain is a superpower in content and entertainment because of:
Music
Art
Literature
Japan is a superpower in content and entertainment because of:
Anime
Manga
Filmmaking
Video Games
The United States is a superpower in content and entertainment because of:
America, of course!
Hollywood and TV
Pop Culture

What I produce is really crap, shit, and garbage, and other such shitty nonsense. Thats
kind of all I put out. And if you ask me, I dont mind that fact one bit. At least Im
working. Strebler holds nothing back. Far as Im concerned if Im working on it, and
publishing it, its shit in the eyes of the world. But I have no reason to let a little thing
like low quality hold me back.
How to work toward making money off my shit:
Writing a novel
Writing a screenplay
Authoring DVDs (but in what fashion?)
Starting a website.
Designing software

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Im considering getting a day-job as a typist, since all I seem to ever do lately is type, and
Ive gotten very good with a keyboard. I honestly do believe a job as a clerical typist
wouldnt be too hard. Or an ad typist.

Definitely aim for manifesting your vision, but make sure you don't become too
unrealistic about the outcome.
-Horoscope

Ill do my best to abide by that advice. Make sure to get the first few panels right before
you try to make an entire issue right I suppose.

Things have definitely changed in the last 20 years since 1990. For one thing, due to how
paranoid society has become about its well being, most neighborhoods arent as close as
they once were, even the small ones.

Also, for a while now, what with the media making the big deal out of anime, young
adults, young adults who use the internet, and prosumers, among other things, Im aware
theres something special about me and my generation that doesnt exist in other
generations the way it does for me.

Compared to companies like Sav! The World, Manga, Bandai Visual, Tokyopop,
Funimation, and Bang Zoom Entertainment, I suck at figuring it out on my own how to
set up the financial and physical working environment foundation for a production
facility. Im failing to take the reality of the situation surrounding me into account. Day
to day life, and everyone near you has to be taken into account. You cant just sit around
hoping youll get to escape to Japan Fantasy Production Studio Land one day. That was
the number one mistake I made. Ive gone into this comic book making thing too
confidently. Same goes for animation. Ive been too direct.

Im not much of an artist most of the time. But I do make one kickin badass screenwriter!
Moreso than a novelist probably. But damn am I good at screenwriting. Not even one
person on DA even knows how to format a script, so Im light-years ahead of the artist
community. Most artists arent writers, let alone screenwriters who are as good as I am.
Very few know how to properly challenge a master of literature and words, like myself.
All I really need to do is stick to the plan, and stay with it until things calm down a bit.

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Damn horoscopes. Such an idiot I have been to even accept them, and even bother
reading them. Theyre a waste of time. I could be watching my DVR shows or burning
DVDs in the time it takes to read those horoscopes.

My strategy is continuing to evolve and change.

Im through with comics pages.
From now on its animation all the way.
What Im going to work on weekly from now on (during the day and on weekdays):

Screenplay. 1 page of script per week.

Full-Page Horizontal Storyboard Paper. 1 Image per page
Novelization / AKA Treatments for Future Scripts
Screenplay Material (Script Springboards):

Fight Scenes
Recon
Team Meetings
Task Force Meetings (Tom Clancy)
Subplots
Chemistry between protagonists
Back-story
The Apocalypse
The Final War
Investigations
Minor Character interactions
The People of New Earth
Sailing the Seas

See what happens when you focus. I did just that and now Ive ended up with 9 pages of
solid script, just about all with content. Ive got 17 (or twice as many) pages to go until I
reach a complete non-sequential 26-page script! Im close to reaching that point (the
completion of my first script).
Im a screenwriter. A really good screenwriter, and a few mainstream outlets aside, there
arent a whole lot of new industry positions open for 20-something aspiring master
screenwriters. Yeah, like those type of people would ever hire an underdog me. You need
a natural talent for the medium, and connections to get writing jobs like those. Im
probably best off simply continuing the development and maintenance of my Easterninfluenced action-drama screenwriting formula.

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In terms of screenwriting, an Outline is just another, shorter, form of fictional narrative.

To me, writing an Outline for my screenplay feels quite a bit like condensing the form of
a novel down to a fictional short story, which in turn manifests into an outline, which is
revised into a final screenplay, a fancy way of saying script.
It can be such a nightmare working in Asian-influenced action-drama screenwriting and
animation. Not the work itself, but all the politics that often accompany it, both public
and private.
AM I trying to alter the essential look and feel of the writing of American Television
animation, with a borderline American Anime? I dont know. Never have. Id rather light
the fuse and let history sort it out long after Ive done my thing and my colleagues do
theirs. I follow the literary example set by well made anime, anime like Cowboy Bebop
and Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex, among countless others. But in that same
vain, Im also writing a hybrid bastard child of the medium. Something even newer,
perhaps a bit more Western in nature than many of the more clich anime archetypesI
want to emulate what I see to be my personal favorite elements of animeand yet at the
same time create a certain type of New Archetype, New Paradigm, New Mythological
Style that hasnt been done to death on American television before. This is nothing like
what Batman, The Simpsons, King of the Hill, Pokemon, South Park, or Family Guy.
While I do acknowledge each of their unique contributions to the medium, I still have a
strong desire to diverge my visual and narrative styles essential formula. Not even
Pokemon is entirely sequential in nature. A lot of the episodes seem like continuation of
last episodes lead in, but theyre not always. When theyre always walking around trees
and mountains and lakes, you could put any one episode of Pokemon next to any other
episode of Pokemon, related or not, and you wouldnt be able to tell of the latter episode
was not meant to be a lead it, they only want to create the ILLUSION of the show being
this big epic serially written narrative, when it is in fact only hinting at such an illusion,
when in reality that is not what it is. Many of the episodes are self contained and designed
to interface seamlessly with any other episode, throw in the always annoying Team
Rocket, and youve got a Pokemon story arc! Yay! Good for you. Besides, Pokemon isnt
even an American show. Its a Japanese show initially inspired by something as cheap
and dispoable as a Japanese videogame. But it hides the obvious well. I have an equal
amount of criticism for all the more pop culture-ish shows out there, and I have reasons
behind each of them as to why I want to do a show that is nothing like each of them. Like
the lighting. Every single one of the shows Ive mentioned is lit up like a daytime sky
rainbow, and in my opinion it distracts from whatever overload of content their writers
are trying to cram into each episodes story. I take a more Invader-ZIM-ISH, CowboyBebop-ish approach to primetime animation storytelling. In other words, more low key
lighting, fewer members on the writers and artists crews, more cinematics, more action
and violence, more eccentricity and detail. If Im in charge, thats simply how it will be.
If you dont like it, work on your own wonderful, brilliant project if you think you can do
so much better than a guy like me. As for my show, None of this scheme of the week
crap that is so popular in primetime.
I have a writing staff of 3 people so far: Me, Myself, and I.

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Action Cinema in my movie Collection:

The first real action movie I got intoif you dont count Indiana Jones and George
Lucass Star Wars trilogywas Face Off starring Nicholas Cage and John Travolta. It
was also directed by John Woo and considered by many to be his best American film, but
that didnt apply or matter to me at the time. The circumstances would change over time.
I like Face Off a whole lot. The cinematography and camera work really moved me when
I saw it in the theatre. Not long afterwards, I saw pseudo-action films with quite a bit of
violence, both rated R: Pulp Fiction, and later, Fight Club, both on VHS, before DVD
was mainstream. 1999 was a good year for action movies. I went with some friends from
my high school class and we all went to see the first The Matrix. Though I thought the
Matrix was kind of gimmicky, I enjoyed it, especially the shootout scenes and the martial
arts sequences. If I dont count anime like Ghost in the Shell, Akira, Blade of the
Immortal, Dragonball Z, and Cowboy Bebop along with a few others, Kill Bill was the
real turning point in my cinema and action movie watching career. The way it
emphasized and alluded to Southeast Asian cinema and amalgamated it really inspired
me. I wanted to see more movies like the ones it was based on, other than Bruce Lee
movies, which I was already familiar with. I wanted to check out the more underground
video DVD releases. So I did some research on Chinese culture, Chinese and Japanese
film, and eventually learned about such things as Wuxia, Shaw Bros. Yuen Woo-Ping,
John Woos Chinese oeuvre, Jet Li, The One Armed Swordsman, and Zatoichi, and Ive
also started reading Chinese manga and studying semi-academic books on Asian action
and martial arts fighting and combat cinema in general

Science Fiction in China has endured a lot of government censorship and persecution
over the years, probably due to how creative it is. Either that or how it involves science. I
dont understand how Chinese officials so strongly dislike science fiction literature of
various sorts when Japan pretty much has free reign with that genre. I have no idea why
the two countries react so differently to it in terms of censorship. One embraces it, the
other censors it. Yet both are Southeast Asian. Science-fictionand later, cyberpunk
have always been a staple in the anime, and henceforth, manga, community. To me, if
were dealing with cyberpunk and dystopia, things like Blade Runner and ZIM, creatures
of science aside, the two genres are heavily linked to architecture, especially in terms of
filmmaking. Post-Apocalyptic Cyberpunk-Dystopia is all about the aesthetics of
architecture and mechanical technology.
What are my interests?
Architecture, INTP, Sushi, Anime, Manga, Stoicism, Buddhism, Zen, China, Strategy,
Animation, Comic books, World Manga, Internationalism, Building, Action, Motion,
Sushi, Chinese Food, Black hair, copper skin, Invisibility, dojinshi, webcomics, internet,
busy compositions, detail in animation and illustrations, Romanticism, web video,
AMVs, meditation, Taoism, Chinese cinema, Japanese cinema, cyberpunk, progressive

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mindset, martial arts, katana, stealth, drama, humorlessness, peace, tranquility, people not
wanting to see me if Im angry, humorous, or playful, only serious and direct, secrecy,
lack of political passion, no industry politics, saying No to people a lot, someone
always needing me for something, silence, virtue, patience, discipline, workaholic,
perfectionism, someone always try to stalk and spy on me and misrepresent me in the
mainstream media, finding yelling frightening and off-putting.
The list goes on!

Everyones still into epic works for the Twentieth Century. Im all about writing and
illustrating Epic Sagas of the Twenty-First Century. Its as difficult, if not more so, to
write an epic work of fiction in the Twenty-First Century as it was to write one for the
Twentieth Century. At least Im starting at a young age. 26 to be precise.

Screenwriting for cinema is hard work. Its not exactly brain surgery, nuclear physics, or
anything of that caliber, but it isnt exactly a picnic either. Sometimes its fun. Not
always though. Sometimes Id much rather just get to write in my Manifesto Journal all
the time like Im doing right now, but I know that only leads to a dead end. Plus, writing
dialogue, and action descriptions, is often really fun. These scripts of mine have the
ingredients and the making of something big; something profitable in the long run, for the
long haul. When I have at least half the scripts finished (13 episodes or more), then Ill
probably be light-years ahead of the competition. Most of the people competing against
me dont know the basics of writing a script. But I do. Ive learned screenwriting and
how to be a screenwriter professionally, from the ground up, mostly by intuition, but
especially through repetition of action and rote memorization. Day after day, regardless
of whether or not I have anything to say or write down in screenplay format, I still
manage to make a habit of at least opening the screenwriting software program on a daily
basis, and just sit in the chair through mechanical repetition just staring at the
screenwriting word processor screen, waiting, seeing if anything emerges and manifests
itself from my subconscious.

The Race is longand in the end, its only with yourself.

So who? Who am I really competing against? Am I competing against anybody?
Everybody? Nobody? That part was never clarified. Some people seem to have hinted at
an antagonistic attitude toward me, but as it turns out, hardly anyone has the courage to
outright challenge or compete with me. No one seems to want to directly compete with
me. Even Viacom is afraid to do that. Theyre not stupid. I dont really have anyone
brave enough to be my competitors yet. I kind of doubt that I ever have had competitors.

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Well, I have gotten a major American anime dubbing voice talent to provide a read
through for my character. If he supports my ambition and doesnt mind working with me
on a project, Ill hire him. I also want to hire more talent from Bang Zoom.
No more of ass-uming This thing is going to succeed. From now on Im operating
under the assumption that everything I say and do is going to fail miserably so Ill finally
be able to return to my life and do something not creative for a change.
When breaking in to show business, especially when I only have a few connections, it
almost seems like Im given two choices, both of them horrible. Do my usual routine
funded corporately where I have my name and likeness dragged through the mud on a
very public, very consistent basis where Im not allowed any say or complaint in the
matter, or shut my mouth, disappear, and do My Life Me or whatever that thing is and
be a next generation young mover and shaker. Like I said. Both outcomes seem equally
unfair when I compare them to how much I actually contribute in reality.

Stats: My latest video upload to my channel, an AS clip, my highest rated ever, received
300 views in the first 12 hours it was broadcast. Thats higher than any of my other
videos.
Broadcast Digital Cable DirecTV Controller Pause Function DVR DVR Database DVD-R DVD Collection Hard Drive YouTube and Veoh Other website
I now have complete and utter power over what I get to see on my TV or computer and
DVD media player. Anything I see at anytime can be frozen with my pause button,
rewound, fast forwarded (commercials) or recorded onto my personal Playlist.
And while the Tivo Premiere does look to be a device that looks even further into the
future, in terms of internet, movies, cable TV, Im perfectly happy being one step behind
that, just as long as I have a record and pause and fast-forward/rewind function on my
digital cable box and controller. Its like wanting an iPhone when you already have an
iPod and Macintosh. Why push it, especially when you just bought said things.
R&D Inventions I Designed:
TVDVD (Authored DVD)
TVPC (Cable Box)
Media Studio Software (Application Software
Streaming Anime Video (SAV the world)
Inventions and Technology for the New Millennium and Twenty-First Century:
CD
DVD

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DVR
Cable Box
DVD Authoring
Streaming Video
Flash Video
PC
DVD-R Disc
DVD Recorder
Upload Website
PC Media Player (video player)
Digital Cable

As I was saying. Virtually everything that appears on my TV is within the realm of

possibilities to use for my DVD, hard drive, and websites one day. And Ive collected a
LOT of content. Nothing is out of bounds anymore now that I have pause, record, and
rewind on my DVR controller.
Stats: My newest video received an additional 200 views in the last 2-3 hours, bringing it
to a total of 500 views in the last 15 hours. My newest upload is halfway to 1,000 views
in less time than 24 hours. Yet again I amaze even myself.
Counting web hits is like counting money. In a way. Each view is like a dollar, and I
make the big bucks. Especially considering my most popular message board profile has
over half a million views. Thats the audience equivalent of at least $200,000. Im worth
at least $500,000 or more.

To-Do List

Continue Writing and Researching screenwriting and screenwriting content

Research Literary Market with Writers Market
Practice writing Agency Query Letter

If I sign a contract for my book project, it could very likely get paid 2-3 author advances
for $10,000 each! Im used to getting less than $200 at once. My salary appears to be
going up, up, up, along with certain parts of the market.

Thats part of why I dont like much of television. It has no real depth. Its just about all
very superficial. It lacks intelligence, style, and profundity for the majority part.

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Chapter 14

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Its true. With my dreams and ambitions, the more I chase after and hunt it, the more it
runs away. Ive been chasing after the dream of working in animation and comics for
years, and that still evades me. And yet screenwriting and Essay book authoring have
actually been sort of easy.
Stats: My current and newest video upload has gotten high ratings. Its currently at a total
of 3,000 views in under 2 days or 48 hours.
I just realized that, its always a win/lose situation in big business. If some other show is
getting more ratings, Im getting less. On regular TV you cant watch more than one
channel at once, therefore if someone else wins in the ratings, me and everyone else
loses. Its the see-saw effect. Ratings go up and down like a see-saw if a viewer isnt
watching just one thing on TV. If one person wins, everyone else is considered the losers.
So better it be you who is winning than some greedy bastard.

The TV Selling Market.

The Majority:
Comedy is a 95% buyers-and-sellers market. 95% of the animated programming that
gets aired in primetime or late night slots, be it on Cartoon Network, Disney,
Nickelodeon, or HBO, is in the animation comedy market. Its all comedic animation. Its
all basically sitcoms. Funny sells
The Minority:
Drama and Action are a 5% buys-and-sellers market. The other 5% is made up of
action, action-adventure, drama, science-fiction, fantasy, and science-fantasy. Even
though these shows will often sell just as well overall with the public, and moreso than
comedy on the DVD market. But when you look at the real primetime slots in the world
of Childrens television: Early morning before school, primetime, and Saturday morning,
the latter genre group (TV made for the serious minded drama fans) dominates all of
those timeslots, the time most children, teenagers, and young adults are watching. In
other words, my audience, my demographic. The drama-fanatics like myself live for
these times of day.
In terms of selling a new action-fantasy-drama based property, Ive come to realize there
are really only a few places on TV you can do that currently (sell an animated version of
Kill Bill or The X-Files, or the next anime hit. Its all about finding where your audience
is and going to where they go. They like the internet, so youre going to want to license
and extend your brand to internet tie-ins of course (like SyFy and Manga.com, or
Adultswim.com, where fans can watch episodes online and chat on message boards).
Right now, the market for action-drama American-made, or at least American
demographic animation (be it anime, co-pro, or western action-drama) is a very small
one, comprising only 5% of television programming on the 3 to 5 big mainstream

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animation outlet networks, almost all on cable. The only places that buy serious attempts
at animated shows, at least currently, would be Williams Street Productions, 4Kids and
Funimation, Manga Entertainment, Bang Zoom, Tokyopop, SyFys Ani-Mondays, and
Cartoon Network Studios. These are the studios that do the Monsters, Bleachs,
Chaotics, Yu Gi Oh 5Ds, Ben 10s, and Star Wars: Clone Wars of the world. (i.e. the
shows that someone actually cares about enough to start a website about and likes). And
from my experience, the comedy market is a LOT tougher, harsher, less compassionate,
and just plain meaner than the drama and action market, especially on primetime
animation and anime. It takes a certain amount of sensitivity and empathy to tell a
dramatic and dynamic TV story and write the perfect action screenplay or script.
I dont know how, and I cant speak for employers or competitors or peers or colleagues,
and I may be being megalomaniacal, but oh well, Im going to say it anyway: Sometimes
I feel like I have the midas touch at least in terms of picking future classics, at least in
terms of what I get enthusiastic and about and what I get into. All the stuff I really get
into, 10 years later many consider those very projects to be modern classics. Meanwhile
the projects that insult me kind of fall apart. Well, I never said I didnt have power. At
least in a historic sense. The common man hates me and everything I stand for, but the
Chosen Ones recognize me as another Chosen One, just like them. They are of a similar
temperament, and therefore have an easier time feeling empathic towards me. That is
something the common man or pedestrian on the street will never do: respect me. But my
idols all do. Guess I should get used to that feeling. Feeling underappreciated at the
bottom but over-appreciated at the top.
All my heroes really like my ideas. Or at least the ones who know of me and my dreams
do. There isnt a hero of mine who isnt a fan of my work. Its a mutual admiration in
some ways.
Its impossible for the competition to enlighten my heroes with any bad info or
misinformation about me either. My mistakes? My heroes and idols Im sure already
know about those things and they still accept me as one of their own anyway. Thats the
true blessing Theyve seen my mistakes and dont care. Unlike my competition, they still
have a desire to see me succeed. They know Im exactly what I seem like. A Hero. A
Wild Child. A misunderstood and sometimes cocky brainiac professor with a vision to
prove.

Top Animation Genres that Disney and Cartoon Network should buy, but might not.

Action-Drama Programming Blocks (anime, co-pros)

French-American Co-Productions (Marathon Animation)
Japanese Co-Productions Sounded Edited in America (IGPX)
French-Japanese Co-Productions (Oban Star-Racers)
Shonen Anime Titles (Naruto, DBZ, Yu Yu Hakusho, Bleach)
Seinen Anime Titles (Cowboy Bebop, Big O II, Wolfs Rain, Outlaw Star)

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It would also be nice to see any of those type of shows take up more than just 5% of the
average successful animation-related networks schedule.

Parallax: Redeeming Qualities: Selling Points

Fast paced and intense action and action scenes

Unique Premise
Cool Protagonist
Highly detailed and stylized world (anime-influence)
Good Story
Nice cinematic storyboards (anime-influenced)

With the harder I work, the harder God activates a lunar effect-esque reaction throughout
the media and news. Its as though the world stops turning just because Im working hard
towards my destination. Its almost as though the world senses when Im actively
working.

I dont think people like to think of it this waythey think its all play, especially the
kidsbut, having your own website, building it, and updating it, is an art and a
discipline. It takes vigilance and timing.

Animation Production Logistics is one of my favorite subjects Ive ever talked about. So
is my zodiac sign, and mystical philosophy theories.

Many of the main henchmen and antagonists in my comics are going to be the pigs and
feds. A lot of them will get killed off in John Woo style shootouts. I figure Brian
Johnston wanted to be a cop before he killed that one dude, so therefore, in that particular
universe of creativity, cops, or more specifically, authority figures, are corrupt and evil.
Also, Im finding myself wanting to do indie comics like Scud and Spawn and I Feel
Sick more and more, and books like most Japanese manga less and less. Instead of
running away from my most direct problems, Im going to wrestle with them on my
own terms, on my own home turf, made in the United States. In my mind, Ive made
the decision to travel back to a headspace in the history of my imagination, when there
was no manga, when there wasnt that much Asian artwork to draw from.
Back when I couldnt draw that well, I was inspired more by Japanese art than American
art. Now it almost seems to have reversed, and Im starting to like American art better
than Japanese art. In the big titles, its more detailed. Layouts are muddier, but thats part
of the style. Japanese comics arent as detailed as American comics, for the most part.
Not for artists like Todd McFarlane, Jim Lee, and Joe Mad. Anime is as detailed as
American comics, but only because more than one person is drawing it.

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Critiques of my comics. Almost all of my panel-based pages leave a lot to be desired. I

want every panel to not have any whiteness in the composition until Im able to draw it
WITH composition in the background. I cant cheat around the basics until Ive already
mastered them, and that includes learning architectural perspective. And camera angles
with compositions of both characters and backgrounds, foregrounds and backgrounds that
dont feel flat. And I do all this talking of saying how I dont know how to draw panels.
But have I ever actually sat down and tried, or is this another example of me thinking the
process through, but never actually going through with any real effort, and fretting over
nothing, like an area Im actually really good at.
I need to write a note to myself to meditate more often. Those meditation exercises work
wonders on reducing my stress levels.
These are the things people think when they see my writing and artwork online: Joe is a
God. All Powerful, All Mighty, All Influential, All Famous, All Talked About, All
Worshipped, All Knowing! I am The God of Streaming Anime Online after all.
God. Heh, I like that name. I should probably mention that Ive slipped back into
empowerment mode. Im back in power mode. I want more power than I already have. I
want to go straight to the top. I went the longest time without actually wanting true
power. Its a Scorpio, 22 Master Builder, and INTP thing. We want power. True power.
We want to create everything that you see before you. Whether it is computers, Silicon
Valley, the Manhattan Project, Hollywood, or cable television. Does that make us bad
guys? Does that make us look like bad guys? Maybe and maybe not. I really dont know.
All I know is I want power and I want to attain it through the internet, TV, cinema,
anime, comics, and entertainment. Forget being King. Actually, forget generally about
being King of All Media. I want to be Lord of All Mediaor the God of All Media.
Ending up a celebrity locally, nationally, and internationally definitely has helped me get
some recognition and acceptance in the mainstream.
Ill start off doing everything in-house, but will eventually shift to hiring subcontractors.
So to pass the time in the next 5-10 years, Im going to have to learn about patience and
the art of waiting. That or Im going to have to find something to do, to avoid hanging out
on the internet or watching TV, that helps pass the time.
Things to do to pass the time over the next 5-10 years
Research, study, and analyze topics of interest
I could sleep all day, take power naps.
Drink coffee and soda, and eat, cleanse out my system eventually
Watch DVR
Watch YouTube
Check my email

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Check funimation.com and animenewsnetwork.com

Get the mail when I know its arrived
Wait for my disabilities check to come at the end of each month
Spend my disabilities check on alcohol and books at the end of each month
Drink alcohol
Snack on supermarket food
Drink soda and orange juice.
Meditate
Get caught up on the new shows airing, ones that dont insult me
Wait for the bad shows to eventually get killed off and canceled

30 to 35 is the achieving age. By that time I should have a lot of scripts finished.

Heck yeah. My ingenious and innovative streaming video publishing skills are light years
ahead of the competition. And so is my DVD authoring. But currently the former skill is
more pragmatic. YouTube isnt even close to what I can do. I like YouTube, but theyre
technology still isnt as innovative and inventive as mine. Actually, much of their
technology is based on cross engineering my technology, when it comes to animation. So
Ive got the Powerful video making secrets of YouTube on my side, without them even
being aware of it.
My lifes actually kind of boring, now that its not in the limelight or in danger anymore.
April 21st 2010
I am now officially on vacation from my work projects and the internet. From now on
Im taking a break where I dont draw or even think of drawing or sorting through my
artwork papers for as many days/weeks/months as possible. I need to find a way to make
the months and years go by without work.
Some of the best stuff of the last 15 years hasnt been advertised, pimped, or promoted in
a traditional marketing way at all: Toonami, Anime Music Videos, Anime, Adult Swim,
co-productions, Manga, YouTube, Amazon, Microsoft, Cartoon Network, streaming
video, and Google. All of the best stuff and people function as their own advertisement
through their quality alone. They all use the internet, word of mouth, and inner circle
marketing to stay profitable. People flock to those guys. Not so with me. No one flocks
to me.
A friend of mine also sent me their email address that she typically had never mentioned
to me before. I wonder how often she checks her email. Not that often from what Ive
heard. Still, I may as well give it a chance, because shes the only one of my childhood
friends who still contacts me. Chris and Amanda havent contacted me in at least a few
months.

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Ive just now discovered that some people have embedded my FMA video from my
YouTube page into their website articles and message board threads. The thread has
hundreds of posts, and its at Anime News Network. The other embedded video of note
was at a website called Platform Nation. The critics are raving about things related to my
videos, and in some cases, my videos themselves.
The quality of the storytelling of the new adaptation of FMA: Brotherhood is just
phenomenal. I mean its some seriously powerful stuff
Platform Nation article about Adult Swim and anime
The words in that quote are featured right beneath an embedded video link to the FMA
promo video I uploaded to YouTube myself, before anyone else had. It feels great getting
press coverage. High praise indeed! Reading that made me so happy! Ive actually never
gotten good press that I was aware of that was directly about me in some way before. Up
until this point, almost all of the talk about things related to me was negative. But this
time the press and buzz surrounding my work, specifically my YouTube filmmaking, has
been incredibly positive and encouraging. Its a good uplifting feeling. So now someone
else thinks Im seriously powerful too, not just me! Im glad Im not the only one who
feels empowered by where I and people like myself are at now.
I do feel I deserve to gloat a little. Just a little. But to be honest, its actually a little hard
to believe Im actually finally a little popular. Or at least moreso now that Ive backed off
a little.
People at the Anime News Network site dont usually embed and cite my videos if ever.
Until now. The fact that theyre even giving me credit for or citing me for anythinglet
alone one of my best broadcasted anime videosis a big deal to me, because Anime
News Network is a big deal to me and plays a big part in my online life. They are the
press after all, in one sense. In other words, Im finally getting some credit in the anime
media press, and Im doing it my way, on my own terms. Its great! Good press is one of
the things Ive come to want the most, perhaps even more than influence or fame. At least
as of late. One thing Ive learned is that, if youre getting press coverage in the media, not
everyone, even the authors of the articles, is going to tell you about it. No one told me
about this. I found out about getting my first press coverage.
My FMA video has been cited in numerous places in the online press:
Anime News Network (ANN) (on their message boards)
Platform Nation

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These are the first (and perhaps last or onlyyou never know) places that have ever
given one of my YouTube videos press coverage as its called in the media.
Because of all the press coverage citations one of my videos is getting, my work is now
more successful, famous, and influential than its ever been before
As far as my fame goes, theres:

The websites I run

The press coverage (citations)
The internet, TV, and media brand mind share
The search results (of my projects)

I finally have one of the handful of things Ive wanted ever since I started my career:
Press coverage in the media.
Its a huge honor for me, getting positive press coverage. The nice thing about getting
real press coverage and actually being famous for something on a small level is that if
you like to brag about your accomplishments, the press says so many nice things about
you, you no longer even feel the need to boast or gloatbecause someone else is doing
that for you. This is an all new thing to me. I must have reached the next level of success
or something. Press coverage in the media sure does make you feel pretty successful. The
trick is not letting all that praise and notoriety go to your head. First of all, compared to
other more mainstream public figures, Im not that big of a deal
Press coverage

ANN
Platform Nation
Other achievements include:

AnimeTV certificate of recognition

AnimeTV credits listing
Telly Award Eligibility
Pulitzer Center backing of host website (YouTube)
[adult swim]s DVD-on-Demand
Forbes Magazine streaming video write-up

Now that I think about it, the Adult Swim un-official henchman gig has actually kind
of ended up being my actual thing. For now anyway. A little press coverage goes a long
way IMO. Its definitely gotten me noticed on some level more so than previously.

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Starting soon, I guess its going to be a time for me to strategically plot my next course of
action. The last thing I want to do is get lazy while Im on top. But as of currently, Im
pretty sure low key is the way to go. Flashy just doesnt work for me, unless its flashy
movement in one of my videos.
How to write a 26-minute Individual Episode Television Screenplay
All Scripts, regardless of format, need to be divided up into three main sections, or in
some cases, acts:
Beginning [Volume I, Part I]: 8 Pages
Middle [Volume II, Part II]: 8 Pages
End [Volume III, Part III]: 8 Pages
Total Number of Pgs.: 26 Pages
Though my journal pages are a bit cluttered and disorganizedto say nothing of
uneditedthere is some useful material here. Actually there is a lot of useable content
here, as far as theoretical commentaries and abstract non-narrative monologues go. I can
just lift different topics out of here and use those ideas, theories, and monologues in
allegorical or metaphorical form in my novels and screenplays/scripts.
For my novel/screenplay, my characters and world are pretty well developed. Theyre
about as real as theyre going to get. Whats really underdeveloped and that needs work is
the plot or narration, character and world conflicts, and thematic development. But I
dont believe in coming up with a theme too early in the production of my stories, unless
its absolutely necessary for the continuation of my stories development. My Mono
sketches and the Manifestos have given me a lot of generally new and innovative material
to work with. Makes my job now and in the future that much easier.
Best Written CartoonsBest Writing in an Animation:
Ghost in the Shell (franchise)
Akira
Astro Boy
Monster
The Simpsons
Family Guy
American Dad
South Park
Naruto
The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Beauty and the Beast
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Batman: The Animated Series
Mobile Suite Gundam (franchise)
Oban Star-Racers
Tim and Eric

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Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Squidbillies
Metalocalypse
The Boondocks
Chowder, The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack
(continued)
Death Note
Code Geass
Moribito
Home Movies
Mission Hill
Best Animation Writers/Studios:
Cartoon Network
Warner Bros.
Pixar
Williams Street Studios
Production I.G.
Sav! The World Productions
Jhonen Vasquez
Aaron McGruder
Brendon Small
Avatar The Last Airbender (writing staff)
Yoshiyuki Tomino
Hayao Miyazaki
Katsuhiro Otomo
Genndy Tartakovsky
Trey Parker & Matt Stone
Sean Akins & Jason DeMarco
Seth MacFarlane
Tom Root
Story Concept: There are a few ideas Id like to explore in my fiction: Speaking to
inanimate objects and holding extended conversations with them. In other words,
inanimate objects coming to life in the mind of the person speaking to said inanimate
object(s). Be it a talking sword. A talking mountain. A talking phone. Or a talking house.
Inanimate objects given what is perhaps a soul and being brought to life is both eerie and
interesting at the same time. Since the objects dont have mouths to speak through, they
speak telepathically to their hosts. I know its a theme thats been done before, but
there are many ways it can be done that hasnt been done yet.
Typical Asian movie story format:
1. Hero is scarred and defeated by an Evil Lord.
2. Hero runs away, goes into hiding

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3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Hero travels, meets ancient master

Master teaches disciple new moves and trains hero disciple for a long time
Master Sensei is killed by assassins
Hero returns to homeland to avenge Himself and his fallen master
Hero emerges victorious from battle with Evil Lord

There are 7 Main Ways to write a novel:

Action (Novel, Screenplays)

Dialogue (Novel, Screenplays)
Interior Monologue (Thoughts) (work on it)
Interior Emotion (work on it)
Description (Novels, Screenplays)
Flashback (work on it)
Narrative Summary (work on it)

There are also 4 Types of Writing, or Methods of Writing

Writing Without Planning or Editing (Manifesto, Novels, Screenplays)

Editing as you Go (Manifesto, Novels)
Planning a Little, Writing a Little (Snowflaking)
Outlining Before You Write (Screenplays, Novels)

All I have to do is study, learn, memorize train with, and practice with these various
methodsor at least most of themuntil I can master writing a book.

One of the greatest things in the world about Americas youth culture is that we dont
have lives, or places to go, or anything to do, and we celebrate this fact. Asians are never
content unless theyre able to go off on their little adventures. It sickens me. I love having
nowhere to go and nothing to do. Its an American pride, an American passion: Do
nothingness. We, the kids, dont do anything and are proud! Why cant the rest of the
world be more like us.
Its true. My life is boring. It was especially boring when I was a kid. Nothing interesting
happens in my life. Ive got nothing to do and nowhere to go. And I am calm. I like it that
way. Some people like to act like they think either my or their lives are so busy. Theyre
not. Most people in America dont have very interesting lives. Nothing happens to me. I
dont make a very good protagonist. Nothing happens to me.
Finally got to see Ben 10: Ultimate Alien and Generator Rex. Both shows were actually
very good. The production qualities were quite anime-like in many ways. The Totally
Spies movie is going to air, that looks interesting. And also, Dad bought James
Camerons popular movie Avatar on DVD. Next up is Beyblade, the next Pokemon
series, and the new season of Boondocks.

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Havent got much writing done lately. Im feeling way too much in the spotlight, and Im
feeling lost in myself. My mind is going at the speed of light. My mind is in outer space
right now, ever since I learned better ways to write a novel and screenplay. Its actually
kind of hard to come back down to earth when I get this spaced out mentally and
spiritually. I feel almost unstoppable from doing just about anything and everything.
Pretty cool. The power feelings are back.
When youre gambling on major projects and playing around with Power Players,
Entrepreneurs, Producers, Writers, and Auteurs in the big leaguesthe major leagues
of mainstream entertainment, even when its something as small as webcomics and
indie comics, there is, without a doubt, a lot to take into account. There are a lot of things
and people and strategies to deal with, to name just a few factors. My acclimation and
assimilation into the mainstream of showbusiness, has had its moments of glamour (fan
discussion, press coverage, characters based on you), and risks (hateful locals, media
bullies, regular bullies, the more malicious side of the media and press). Its easy to get
overwhelmed. Especially when youre dealing with ambitious ideas and people, like I do.
Theres politics, sharks, and egos to contend with. Its almost like fighting in an alien
warzone, except half the time its friendlier. The other half, it can be just as nasty. That is
how Hollywood and showbiz is! Crazy, right? Yeah, I know. With terrorists threatening
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and their lives being in potential danger like that, there
seemed to be a bit of a situation developing there over at South Park Studios, and I dont
even like them that much. But I know a potential disastrous political and PR situation
when I see one. Tried my best to avert that one. Im sure thats not the first time some
Hollywood animation producers mouths and egos got them into serious trouble. And
here I thought my internet humiliation situation was bad. It almost seems like nothing
when I compare it to what the South Park team is dealing with lately.

Fuck. Yes! Ive finally discovered some of the secrets of popular literary narrative
storytelling that works for me. If I work hard enough at it, I can write a novel length
outline! There are 7 elements to narrating a story apparently. I started to internalize, most,
if not all of them today. I tried out this technique earlier and what I got was a narrative
that just felt full, and very literary!
If I keep this type of good work up with my screenwriting, you never know. I might even
be able to one day become the next Yoshiyuki Tomino. The American version of
Yoshiyuki Tomino! Except my genre is Sword & Planet Dark Science-Fantasylike
George Lucas, but without the spaceshipsnot space opera Giant Mecha ScienceFiction. No ones ever done that before. I want to write at least 100 to 200 different 5 to
20 page battle and fight scenes. Go all out. Use the 7-Elements-of-Fiction For Dummies
style. Go all All You Need is Kill or Shaw Bros Style on my readers. And you know
what? I dont think theyd mind either. As long as the descriptions are artistic and vivid
and theres decent action and emotional power in my narrative, I dont think my audience
will care about excessive use of violence. The censors might, but not fans.

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Im beginning to think I might never be independent enough to live without assistance, be

it wealthy lifestyle or not. I just dont know what to do. Im very intimidated by the world
outside my house. I dont drive. I dont travel. I dont have money. And I dont to a lot of
other things either. I may never be able to live independently and entirely by myself.
Maybe I should get married, or at least live with a girlfriend, or with someone who can
support me physically. Its the Aspergers and the manic-depression. The outside of my
house terrifies me. Im doomed arent I.
I simply dont understand myself as of late. Its like everything I tell myself to do or not
do ends up being some sort of unintentional reverse psychology. Its like a stoplight and
Im hitting the gas and break at all the wrong times.
If I tell myself to Stop, I go.
If I tell myself to Go, I stop.
Its so fucked up! How do I go when I tell myself Go, and stop when I tell myself Stop?
The 7-component fiction writing system is more effective than my self-sabotaging ways.
If I stick to that strategy, there is basically no way I can get thrown off course or
distracted from finishing my screenplays and maybe novels, or novel-outline-screenplay.

If Im really so afraid of people hacking into my work, I can set up walls that keep me
from accidentally wandering into danger areas.

Every 7 years we go through a rebirth:

7 year old
14 year old
21 year old
28 year old (November of next year)
Apparently, I am not alone in my Viacom hatred. Spielberg and the Dreamworks SKG
crew, though they havent issued many press releases, or any public statements on the
matter, also seem just a tad bit upset with Viacom too. Well, its good to know Im not
the only powerful person upset with Viacom. Spielberg and Dreamworks are too.
The AnimeTV fandom keeps comparing me and AnimeTV to Simon Cowell and
American Idol. Ive never understood that element. Do people really like to hate me as
much as Britney Spears and Simon Cowell? Am I really that damn obnoxious to some
people. I am if I open my mouth. So I guess I wont open my mouth then. I do like people
like Simon Cowell and Howard Stern. I like how they just like to make fun of shit.
Sometimes Im mean like that. But other times I am nice, at least in my opinion.
Also,

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When did I become such a selfish, self-absorbed internet and TV celebrity? Chances are,
it was when I stopped being the misunderstood genius visionary who at one point gave
ceaselessly to the careers and economic lives of other people I admired for a long time:
SLG, Jhonen, Steve Blum, AnimeTV, Bang Zoom, Production I.G., Cartoon Network,
Williams Street, Lance Heiskell and Funimation, Tokyopop, John Lasseter and Pixar,
YouTube, Google, Toonami, Ken Wilber, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Matchbox
Twenty, Katsuhiro Otomo, Michael Moorcock, Masashi Kishimoto, Bill Gates, Larry
Page, Ted Turner, Walt Disney, Tezuka, Mike Lazzo, Sean Akins, and Adult Swim. At
one point I stopped talking about those guys so obsessively. And their fame took a hit
because of it. Who knows? Maybe Ill go back to idolizing them at one point.
CN is almost like an espionage organization in and of itself. They dont just admire their
top creators and shower them with attention and adoration, which is always nice. They
downright spy on them. How do I know? I AM one of their creators. CN has hacked my
system with viruses, stalked me online, and hacked into my personal computer camera
that can actually see my bedroom. That was a weird experience. But if this is all some
crazy effort in the name of drafting me as a new school creator, I guess I can deal with
it. Having no privacy or respect from your non-showbusiness peers is just a small price
to pay for success I guess. CN has put me through a lot in the name of my Mono idea.
But I like to think they have a good reason for it.
How to Get Paid a Lot of Money to Be a TV Writer and Novelist

Struggling With Ups and Downs as an Aspiring Writer

Come up with Story Concepts and Plot Ideas
Gather Creative Ideas in a Collection Notebook / Folder
Write an Outline
Write Script Scene in or Out of Sequential Order
Organize Script and Arrange Scenes in Proper Sequence
Finish Script
Repeat Process. Write another Script
Keep up This Process Until Youve Written All Your Episodes
Edit Scripts
Cha-Ching!$$$$ Youre Gold. Get Rich, Powerful, and Famous off of Licensing
and Franchising

The Jig-Saw Puzzle Method: Filling The Form

One method of successfully completely a finished screenplay is by using the jig-saw
method. If you cant get the image to fit together sequentially and adhesively, then dont
bother. Fit the image together non-sequentially, like a Jigsaw puzzle, where you can go
left to right, right to left, up to down, down to up, any direction, it doesnt matter, just as
long as your producing work related to the story youre telling. Filling the form, as its
called in the Artists Way book. Eventually, the pages fill up. Another way is to put blank
pages together with the pages youve already filled up until when all put together they

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still make a stack of papers that feels like a script with writing on the first page, so it still
feels like a script, even though its 10 or 15 pages short or so. Thats one way to get a feel
of what it feels like to already be at the finish line, because everybody knows few things
feel as good as a completely 25 page script in your hands, so substitute and compensate
for what you dont have (completion) with a PARTIALLY finish, but still whole script in
your hand. This will motivate you to CONTINUE filling the form until the form is filled.

My life now represents new projects and Great Works that Im going to make manifest.
In the future, the outcome of my career will be that Ill possess not only an innovative
and pioneering career, but also an ancient and justified source of power Ill possess. The
most powerful power there is in business: The power of talent and vision. Art isnt the
only field that gives creative people power. Literature and writing do too. Like the
screenplay Im working on, for example.
Im actually a pretty decent writer. Not so with my artwork most of the time. Some of my
art is good, even to this day. Most of it though, stopped being mostly good when I
dropped out of art school. For now, Im sticking to screenwriting. And maybe an
occasional storyboard panel here and there, if I can ever manage to clean it up. If not,
thats fine. Ive still got screenwriting.
Im now on page 13 of my screenplay, meaning Im halfway through to completion of
my first 26-minute screenplay, or my 26-page screenplay. I havent proofread much of it
yet. Im savoring that until the end. There is martial arts and talk of military operations.
Its beginning to turn into something that resembles John Woo meets DBZ and Tom
Clancy, at least in terms of stylistic content.
New Concept: The smog cloud of misfortune. There is a presence that haunts and stalks
most downtrodden individuals, causing not just one thing to go wrong in someones life
but nearly everything. What to name it though: The swarm curse. Its a visual metaphor
for bad luck and misfortune. It also goes by the name paparazzi, and smear campaign in
real life. It is nearly always accompanied by mugshots, paparazzi members yelling
peoples names and spectators insulting, harassing, and cussing at the subject of the
curse. Just all the negative things in life that many normal people who havent been
hounded by a media circus before are just terrified of getting swept up in, even though
most people talk about media circuses just like everyone else on the planet. But you
especially like to talk about it if your name is Talking Head or Hypocrite Pundit.
Psycho-Twin. Psycho-Twin always ends up in the news. And he always bares a
striking resemblance to some person who no one knows about that is a lot more important
than him-her (i.e. you), who never does get famous, or get the same level of recognition
for some reason.
My Tarot deck reading today said my power in the future would be ancient and
justified. If thats the case, Im looking forward to the future. Those are two of my
favorite kinds of power: The ancient and justified kind.

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Ancient Power? Star Wars. Martial Arts. The Spirit World. Archetypes. Mythology.
Justified Power? Kenzo Tenma. Justice. Technological Innovation. Vision. Anime.
The Parallax Mythos finally seems to have attained a state of mythological cohesion. In
other words, when I refer to things like Apocalyptic science-fantasy, I and other people
know exactly what I am referring to: My most famous project, Parallax and Mono Jubei.
My world I made up is finally starting to have enough details that it all kind of sticks
together and never really falls apart anymore. I kind of like peering into the crystal ball of
my imaginary world and just watching that world get lost in itself. Because that is how
existence is. It replicates real existence in the actual real world, as all fictional worlds do.
In other world, it feels like the world I made up is still alive and moving around on its
own and breathing, even when Im not imagining it or making things up about it. It just
feels alive, even when I put it away like a good book.
I dont know if its just the extra weight Im carrying throwing me off, but for some
reason I feel like Im in a downward spiral. This always happens when A) Im waiting for
the mail. Or B) Im taking time off from work. If I dont keep myself busy, I feel like my
life is out of control, beyond my control, and unmanageable.
There is no one Parallax. Parallax was created and authored/written by me and the
famous Dollar Killinger writing staff.

I seem to have already developed a cultish Che Guevara-like following, except Im not
really evil like he could be.

If Im not completely in control of my situation, I tend to get scared.

If I could go back in time and offer the kid me one piece of advice to better improve
myself, it would be this:
Dont waste your time reflecting and contemplating in your journal your whole life.
Thats wasting your life, because even though what youre are writing is good and will
probably be read after your dead, it will only slow the work on your creative projects
down in the long run, and will only make you more obscure while your still alive, and
believe me, you dont want to procrastinate on your art and fiction writing. But especially
dont stall on your fiction writing. Youll wait far too many years before you actually
become active in it. And look out for those nervous breakdowns and incarcerations in
psychiatric wards. Theyre a bitch. Even though the forces that drove you to that point are
evil incarnate. Dont mind them though. Brian, your neighbors, psychiatrists who want to
know way too much about you, rival artists on the web, real life evil twins, evil and
secretive corporate TV masterminds, high school kidsTheyre mean, vicious, evil little
faggots and thats really all there is to it. They will drive you to an early grave if you let

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them. Also, try not to be afraid of growing up. Youre going to have to eventually,
delaying it will only result in disaster on both a private and public level. If I could have
known how to avoid and discharge these things all along, Id probably be even more
successful than I am.
Maybe I really am a Builder and Titan: Or at least, online I am:

YouTube
The Adult Swim Message Boards Anime Community
The Contemporary Animation and Anime Community
DeviantART
Internet Message Boards
The Internet in General
The Online Streaming Video Community, both corporate and recreational
The Japanese manga and American manga scene, both in America
The Adult Swim, Toonami, and Cartoon Network Community
The Co-Production anime-influenced action-drama industry
Post-90s animation, anime, and TV
Contemporary Asian Cinema
Anime on TV

Not to brag or anything, but I am one of the cornerstone members of each and every one
of these communities, mostly anonymously, which is why no ones really heard of me
when I did in fact help Build Them All. They wouldnt be or have turned out the same
without me. That is because Im not only a Founding Member of all of them
professionally and recreationally, but also one of the elder statesmen. These allevery
single one of themrepresent certain parts of my anonymous handiwork in one way or
another. Ive played my part. Ive had my share of influence. Thats no secret. Im
technically the equivalent of a boss or manager in most of these fields, or at least my
opinions, thoughts, and words have as much influence as such. The big wigs in these
industries all listen to me. Never mind the small fries and rude contemporary upstarts,
who havent done their dues nor paid their respects. None of the trolls as we call them,
are as established as me, despite their boasts, and Im quite proud of that fact.
I work my ass off for slave wages and at my own poverty level while the fat cats above
me (entrepreneurs, writers, producers, directors, animators, artists, illustrators, company
presidents, webmasters, licensors, brand managers, voice actors, marketing people, and
distributors) can eat, sleep, have sex, pay their bills, and just live a little easier in general,
at the mere expense of me, their henchman and underling not being able to do any of
those things like they can. Seems fair enough to me. Theyre mostly greedy Americans
and theyll never pay me for anything. What do they care? Theyre rich Im not. Far as
theyre concerned thats the end of the story and they dont owe me shit. Theyre lucky I
helped build their industries and never asked for anything in return. It takes quite a bit of
heroic selflessness and humble altruism to do what I do. All this giving I do could never
be repaid by money. The price of my level of giving is priceless. You cant put a price on
it because it simply is that valuable. I can still look at myself in the mirror, and go, There
goes one generous, egoless, selfless, altruistic, humble, giving, and not greedy guy. Come

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to think about it, there is no limit to my giving. What Im doing is just as generous as
giving to any charity on this planet, except it is being used in a more pragmatic way. Its
the sweatshop slave labor policy. Meanwhile the world repays me by hurting me, stealing
from me, mocking me, disgracing me, humiliating me, and calling me a general criminal
scumbag pig, and Im perfectly okay with that at this point. Karma catches up to
everyone in the end. Just ask the Buddha himself. I give as though Im living in a
sweatshop, endlessly, patiently, and selflessly, never seeking a reward, and I get into the
Kingdom of Heaven or end up reincarnated as something good in the next realm of
existence, just because I was such a darn beautiful and selfless martyr in this life, in terms
of how I gave to society. Its a very spiritually pure thing. Im a philanthropist and charity
giver, and I give to charity and philanthropy by stimulating pop culture, entertainment,
and technology without ever getting paid for it. That is a reward to me in and of its self.
The reward of doing the right thing, of giving to big business, and never taking the vast
majority of the time. I am that selfless and compassionate I guess. People in the business
can diss me all they want, but clearly their greedy and selfish ways dont really fool the
public, by trying to discredit my selflessness. Because my selflessness and egolessness
are real and authentic.
So maybe I did inherit the gift of spiritual generosity from my Dad the Monk. Ive been
giving all these years, endlessly, in ways I had never thought of before. Im actually a
very giving person. Im just glad I realized it. Im a giver, not a taker.
Ive had all this time to realize, I need to use my power to be humble and selfless, or
spiritual, not powerful and selfish, because that is abused power, and power must always
be used responsibly or disaster is assured. I must use my power in a way that benefits all.
Otherwise the usage of my power could seriously backfire. YouTube is a site all benefit
from. The same thing goes for CN. If I was the only one that derived benefit from those
things Id be selfish. Id only be helping myself. That doesnt win you respect in the long
run. Im glad Ive made this spiritual breakthrough in my wisdom.
On the subject of having boatloads of power. Nobel Prize Nominee Thich Nhat Hahn the
Buddhist Monk living in France, wrote one of the best manifestos on Power ever written,
basically saying that spiritual power, altruistic power, compassionate, loving, and
generous poweramong other kinds of poweris the most powerful power of all. But in
my opinion it is only sometimes the most impressive kind of powerin my view that is
typically social status powerbut physical and visionary power are two of the most
visually stunning types of power. But altruistic and spiritual power has a large place in
society too. It is the type of power that tests people every day of their lives of all walks of
life, from rich to poor, from powerful to powerless. Theres hardly anyone alive who
wouldnt want to have some form of spiritual power, were it easy to attain. The last few
paragraphs Ive written about why I feel myself to be giving is that exact type of spiritual
power. You cant even buy power like that.
The dedication some young people have to anime in the United States and Asia borders
on spiritual and sacred in some communities, or at the very least, many fans of anime and

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manga feel very passionate about the pastime they are all such fans of, and are a little
zealous, to say the least. There is definitely a thing as being an overzealous fan in anime.

Adult Swim taught me a valuable lesson with shows like GI Joe, The Boondocks, and
Star Wars. If you want to do any kind of anime show on Adult Swim, if you have
aspirations for that as a creator of fine Quality animated programming on late night
television, the fans are without a doubt going to hate you from day one, almost as much
as they hate King of the Hill and Family Guy, purely due to the politics and nature of the
thing. If you do anything that even remotely resembles Parallax and you want to take it to
publishers or networks or animation studios, with the fans alone, youre going to have a
full blown fight on your hands with the sheer volume of anti-American sentiment and
bias among otaku in the U.S. industry and Japanese industry especially. Youre viewed as
nothing more than an unimportant intruding foreign outsider, and they will say a lot of
hateful things about you. Get prepared for you and your staff to be bombarded with
internet and snail hatemail by the truckloads. People dont just want to hate you. Theyre
going to hate you, but if you want that glory of working against the status quo, and
eventually winning, you dont even have to ask yourself if its worth it. Im one of the
most hated board members in the history of the ASMB and the Adult Swim community,
purely because of what I represent: Americans making a concerted effort to compete in
the international television scene. Plain and simple. That is what it boils down to. Fans by
now are so spoiled by non-American Japanese anime, their little minds cant even fathom
something that good being done in America even though it already has (Avatar, IGPX).
Theres just a natural bias against non-Japanese epic anime series being produced that
exists within the fan community. This goes way beyond me. I guess I didnt see that in
the beginning, and used to take the whole thing personally and my feelings got hurt. Now
I know theres not really anything personal about it. Its reverse-xenophobic bias, plain
and simple.
My work:
Unprofessional
Vision-based
Professional
Sloppy
Rough and unrefined
Stylistic
Good idea / bad execution
Secretive
Secret
Internet
Webcomic
Hated
American, lifestyle, pen and ink
Crap (in a lot of peoples eyes)
Sluggish

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Sloppy
Aggressive rivals
Masculine
Disconnected, Abstract, Ugly
Things I associate with Manga and Anime Word Game:
Perfect.
Japanese.
Cinematic.
Action.
Fighting.
Cool
Epic.
Archetype.
Dramatic
Mythological Mythos
Fantasy
Science Fiction
Cyberpunk
Architecture
Weapons
Swords
Guns
Serial Narrative.
Continuing
Saga.
God-like efficiency.
Not typically American.
Asian.
Fast.
Stealthy.
Powerful.
Powerfully
Visual. Better.
Detailed.
Layering.
Aspect-To-Aspect,
Camera Editing.
Planning.
Strategy
Engineering
Camera transitions.
Interesting and Odd Usage of Close-ups.
Fashion
Beautiful
Filmmaker Masterpiece

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Auteur
Japanese
What I spend years building, someone may destroy, blatantly imitate, and sully overnight.
I have to go in prepared for that. I have to build anyway. I cannot build anything for the
sole purpose of having it completed. Building should be a form of self-expression.

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Chapter 15

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Sunday, May 02, 2010

Procrastination Log:
Things I am procrastinating at (becoming cognizant of it)

Losing Weight
Exercise (Jumping jacks, treadmill, sit-ups, punching bag)
Eating Right
Staying clean (showers, brushing teeth, washing hair)

Good fictional Types of Western Fighting:

Conan sword fighting
Star Wars Lightsaber Sword Fighting
DC Animated Universe Combat
Avatar Airbender Kung-Fu
Kill Bill Fighting
Matrix and Blade Fighting
Batman DC Comics

The History of Architecture in Film, Comics, and Animation (International)

Manga (Akira, GitS, Blame, Dragonball Z)
Anime (Akira, GitS, Trinity Blood, Gundam, Big O, Pokemon)
Film (Blade Runner, Metropolis, Batman, Caligari)
American film (The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars)
American Animation (Avatar, Invader Zim, Batman, Totally Spies, Oban, IGPX,
Generator Rex)
Japanese Architectural Pioneers (comics, then animation)
American comics (Dave Sim and Gerhard, Star Wars comics, Mr. X, Moebius, Me)
Im a real architect now in the eyes of many, at least in my own eyes. Ive designed cities
that could pass for sketches of the real thing, at least in terms of perspective. At the end
of the day / my career, I must ask, how far did I go, how far did I take it not only as a
comic book and animation auteur, but as a production designer and architect in general,
in the context of not only fictional, but real architecture as well. I could say a similar
thing about fashion design and designing fictional costumes. How real does it feel?
How real are its textures?

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Oftentimes, the architects who design architecture of the future real world consciously
imitate. What they see in film, whether its in Germany or the United States, or in Japan,
where real architects imitate what filmmakers design in manga and animation as well,
letting it influence not only other animation, comics, and entertainment, but the
architecture of the real world as well. In other words, Katsuhiro Otomo and Syd Mead
are two of Japans most famous real life architects, not just famous filmmakers, and in
Otomos case, a manga-ka with very detailed and powerful architecture.

Mono is Conan meets John Woo and Yuen Woo-Ping with Samurai Swords. Maybe
theres a little Scud in there as well.
Poses:

In anime and manga, the poses are almost always slick, stealthy, and animated, or
very fast moving at times. Instead of a freeze frame of motion like DC, Dark
Horse, and Marvel, they convey the camera keeping up with the movement itself
in some way.

In Western comics like Conan, Scud, Spawn, and Star Wars, it looks like the
movement has frozen in time, we can see droplets of blood going through the air,
yet at the same time, not really moving anywhere. There is more of a sense of
flexibility and blatant dynamic posturing. We see bodies covering the landscape
and heads getting knocked backwards in mid whiplash.

Weapon Usage and Holding Style (Swords and Guns)

In Eastern Comics, like Naruto, DBZ, and Blade of the Immortal weapons are
used stealthily of course, but there is a lot more to it than that. There is a subtle
technique and eloquence to their movement, and speed. Swords are slashed
narrowly, and brandished in the blink of an eye, with many speed lines.

In comics like Scud and Conan, weapons are brandished almost flamboyantly,
with much pride and are often the focal point of compositions. Swords are held
firmly out in front, swung and shown off in a more focused forward way. Nearly
every time we see a weapon, we see the whole weapon, the whole gun or sword,
confidently out front, not hidden in motion blur or slight of hand.

Honestly, I dont remember which one I saw first, Nicole (my x) or Rei Ayanami, but one
thing really strikes me about both girls now: Reis hair, is strikingly similar to Nicole
Cooks, except Nicoles hair color was orange-reddish, and Rei the anime characters is
blue. But the structure, the way their hair is cut and trimmedfrom what I remember
about Nicole, when I compare Nicoles hair to Rei in Neon Genesis Evangelionis

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essentially the same. This was not a conscious connection in the beginning, but it is kind
of startling now

Been reading up on Conan and its creator, Robert E. Howard, Conan: The Phenomenon a
lot lately in the last day; Well, that and another coffee table art book I own called Film
Architecture: From Metropolis to Blade Runner. And doing so much reading of fun
books like those in the last day has reminded me of something very important to me: The
essential fact that I love reading and have done and will continue to do a lot of reading in
my lifetime. Its hard to believe Howard corresponded with H.P. Lovecraft in his
formative writing years. Kind of like how Ive corresponded with Jhonen Vasquez,
another famous goth, in my early years as well. Thats one thing I have in common with
Howard. We both write stories with much romanticism and we both correspond with
famous gothic literary figures when we were still young and obscure. There are actually
quite a few things about Robert E. Howard that remind me of myself, like the fantasy
literature and the full time writing ambitions. The List goes on.

I am pretty happy that Barack Obama is president. Honestly, Im glad hes making an
effort to fix the economy. Im glad someone is. Hes brought peace to much of the world.
And that in and of itself is quite an achievement, regardless of his race.

Why I love expressionist architecture

The classical abstract beauty of German expressionist architecture, its abstract usage of
structural geometry, and its influence on modern architecture and building in general in
Eastern Europe, among many other places truly speaks to me.

Favorite Comics and Literature Artists of The Moment:

Frank Frazetta
Boris Vallejo
Frank Miller
Todd McFarlane
Jim Lee

Cartoon Network is one of the main pioneers of the unoriginal uncompensated

adaptation method. If CN likes the style of a certain creator, artist, producer, or writers,
its been known to blatantly, perhaps even shamelessly, ape that auteurs style without
actually notifying or compensating that creator in any way. They do it to me too. Not to
mention Marshall McLuhan, which can be evidenced in many of their more Visual
Bumpers. Their branding department has literally been trained not only to emulate
Marshal McLuhan, but to think like him too, even though hes dead. One of the earliest,

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most infamous examples of evidence of this is in their one 90s series Cow and Chicken,
an obvious rip-off or in their own minds replication of Ren & Stimpy. In an animation
article about the show, the makers of Cow & Chicken blatantly admitted to copying Ren
& Stimpy without really adding anything on, to the point of bragging about this fact,
saying things in the article like We want to do another Ren & Stimpy or We want to
recreate (the) John Kricfalusi (look), to which one of my mentors who used to work at
CN on a speculative creative development basis, responded around the year 2000 or
2001 by saying to me Yeah, well if thats so true and youre not lying, why not just
bother to hire John Kricfalusi. Its a lot easier. He did raise a good point. I think the
word Im looking for here is authenticity. And he has at one point or another in his
career, in the past worked for every big corporate animation company in some way or
another. Hes been employed at various times in his career by the three big names in
contemporary animation: Cartoon Network Hannah Barbera (creative development) /
Nickelodeon, on Doug (intern), and Disney during the 90s at the Disney Institute
Animation Program in Florida. Now hes an administrator at the Art Institute of Fort
Lauderdale.

Integral Parts of the Internet

Google Search
YouTube Video and Filmmaking
Blogger Opinion, Words
My Space Networking
DeviantART Artwork, Anime, Manga
Megatokyo Webcomics
Yahoo Email, Chat, IM
Amazon, Netflix, Adsense Commerce

The website of one of my first art teachers, Rima, has gotten around 1,800 or so views.
My YouTube channels alone, collectively, have gotten around a quarter of a million
views. Not counting my writings on Adultswim.com as Spindack, which have gotten
another 100,000. That name has also ended up on one of Adult Swims Cards.
Now is definitely not a peaceful era. Were still recovering from a lot of death and
destruction and open hostility from the beginning of the Twenty First Century.

Why is everyone around me acting so selfishly lately? Everyone keeps thinking only of
themselves, and not the benefit of anyone else. Such selfish people. It disturbs me.
Its tough to fathom the fact that THISa world where Obama is the first black
president, where people can watch anime online for free and find anything on Google,
and a world where there are a million of me on TV, in movies, and in the media, and a
million Mono clones of my character Mono are all over anime and the internet. Though

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Im quickly on my way to becoming a God of Media, its tough to believe a world as

relatively peaceful as this is what that racist killer Bryan Johns Ton was talking about,
when he thought his destiny was to ruin my life and stop me from becoming successful. I
have no clue what he saw in his futuristic vision of me that shocked him so much. Maybe
morbid jealousy. You know YOU. NOOOO!!!! It CANT BE YOU!!! How could you
rule the world and not MEEEEEEEE!!!!! Oh well. His plan to assassinate me was
thwarted, and now Im on top of the world. Im sure this dream world is his nightmare
world. A peaceful world with geniuses like myself in charge of entertainment and the
media, and a black man running the country as president, and a world where I am
considered a hero and Bryan is considered the equivalent of Hitler in every epic story,
which is basically what he is, due to the actions he took between 2002 2003 in
Massachusetts. This wonderful world were living in, this era of peace and change in the
new millennium, this is exactly the type of happy world Blowhard Johnston never cared
for. Im beginning to understand the situation as he saw it, better. Because I won and
became an all powerful God of history. He didnt and faded away into the past. It ended
up being my greatest dream realized, all thanks to his worst nightmare being realized: a
successful and happy me. The rightful order of time and space has been restored.
Pandoras box is now closed for the most part. Im just glad I can put that dark chapter of
my life behind me. From this point on its smooth sailing. Im in control. And first order
of business is to restore my enthusiasm for the things I was working on before he
disrupted.everything. I can finally return to my former working glory I had
experienced with people like Phil, Rima, and the Art Institute and Crealde and Valencia
between 2000 2007 or so. Starting my own webcomic and having a Deviant Art site
really dried up my vitality and chops creatively. I had a dry spell for a long time there.
But now Im drawing perspective, Mono, buildings again and everything. Its great.

People arent copying me. When people say what I think, whats really happening is
Im thinking of what they will say before they say it. My psychic empathy powers have
activated, and I could tell what one or more persons were going to do or say before they
did it.

Crazy family member psyche 101:

Andrew:
Hes got issues with his body. He has a negative self image, and body image issues.
Deep down he doesnt even think of himself as worthy of leading the life hes either
fallen into or been given. Deep down he feels unworthy of just about anything in his life,
including me. He hardly ever feels safe or not vulnerable, over all.

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Cary:
He clearly doesnt know how to balance his work life with his family life. He just doesnt
know how to split the two. He only knows how to be a manager. He often forgets how to
be a real father in favor obsessing over his work. His whole life is work. Just writing
work this many times reminds me of him. He doesnt value intuitiveness, being psychic,
or insightfulness, no matter how brilliant it is. He doesnt really ever hold himself
accountable for his own actions, even when it comes to medicating me, putting me in
therapy and psychiatric wards where I suffered many abuses emotionally and physically.
Ours is a hard family to manage, and on top of that Dad has no real strategy, theories or
ideas on how to manage this family. He doesnt really bother to manage his family: Only
his job. .

Ive never really been able to get inspired on demand.

Things Ive done in the last few days:

Buy mothers day present

Bury my face in Conan coffee table book
Watch DVR shows
Deal with Andrew
Sleep
Listen to music

I did make an honest effort to present my vision to the world. Due to my volatile
emotions and a certain amount of cruelty from peers at all levels of society, along with a
good old fashioned dosage of bullying and mean-spiritedness, I got laughed at and
rejected and impoverished right back to ground zero. My life became so epic, it really,
REALLY got and still gets in the way of any type of creative work I could possibly do.
My dad is an asshole. He actually enjoys watching others bully me. That certainly hasnt
helped my career much.

Being an animation producer is hard work. Its so complex, based on the books Ive read
on co-productions and producing animation. Its just as complex a task as any scientific
job. Sure it sounds easy on the surface, but there are so many details to keep track of, and
no one telling you the right way to do it. Every project is different, so depending on
which animation producer you ask, youll get a different explanation for what makes a
good producer, how to be a producer, how to structure your work routine, etc. Still, I
should study my Producing Animation book more. Especially since it was written by one
of the producers of George Lucass animated series: Star Wars: The Clone Wars and
Todd McFarlanes Spawn.

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Wearing Producers Hat

One of the goals of the television executive producer is to keep the staff excited and
motivated about the direction and destination of the animation project. It takes diplomacy
to balance the demands of the creative production staff and the demands of the corporate
business staff. It also takes numerous visits to the overseas post production studios to
make sure their output on the project matches up with the vision of the localized postproduction and production of the project; especially on an international co-pro. No matter
what happens, as a producer you need to make sure everyone is functioning at the same
level. A project NEEDS to be delivered to the network on budget and on time. There are
a lot of factors and elements you cant possibly know going into a managing a TV project
ahead of time. As an executive producer, storyboard artist, and head writer, I function as
one of the lead storytellers on the project. My function as a producer-writer-storyboard
artist is to tell a compelling, emotional, dramatic, and dynamic story, as efficiently and
effectively as possible. Of course I also must take all of the staffs feelings and opinions
into account as well, not just my own. I have to keep the crew and cast Im working with
as motivated about our project as I am, so that they dont feel like theyre wasting their
time. Im involved and oversee virtually all aspects of TV production, and have a fair
amount of say-so and input in all of them. Its also important to keep the localized region
studio of the production in sync and in cooperation with the overseas region studio of the
production. Storyboards, screenwriting, directing, rough animation, and voice over are all
done in house. Cleanup, ink and paint, and effects are done overseas.
Animated Action and Fantasy Series that remind me of my own production style:
Of course, I might be biased, but these are almost all of my favorite news shows airing on
TV and still in production currently.

Speed Racer The Next Generation

Iron Man: Armored Adventures
Ben 10: Alien Force
Ben 10: Ultimate Alien
Generator Rex
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Naruto Shippuden
Chaotic: Marillian Invasion
Chaotic: Secrets of the Lost City
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
The Boondocks
Totally Spies: Undercover
The Amazing Spiez
Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds
Miss BG
Jane and the Dragon

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Pearlie
Adventures from the Book of Virtues

Ive analyzed my motives and the reasons for the things I do, perhaps even endlessly
right here in these here journals. But to this day, Ive never completely understood my
own feelings for the need to be publicized, remembered, and famous. The first day I
got press coverage was one of the happiest days of my life up till this point. Maybe thats
the mode of communication Ive chosen to reach people with. The distant yet warm one.
My ultimate goal is to be written about in Animation Magazine, and ranked as one of the
Most Influential filmmakers list that they do ever 5 or 10 years. My life means nothing to
me unless I can get at least some recognition, which I already have gotten some of. But at
the same time, part of me just wants someone to see my authentic public image and see
that person they see before them, on the DVD extras menu or in the trade magazine, and
make me their role model for a change, not just other people all the time. I want to be a
role model to some kid or young adult some day the same way people like Steve Blum,
Jhonen Vasquz, Todd McFarlane, and Dave Willis were to me growing up

Now that I think about it, I dont make television. I make great and timeless cinema in a
comic book and television narrative format. Im not in the business of making unoriginal
or derivative works of cinematic art. All I ever make is good stuff. Thats the only thing I
produce: Good filmmaking. I dont make bad cinema. Honestly, I hate regular television.
Theres nothing dynamic about it whatsoever. I function at a level of storytelling and
effort, as well as energy, which goes beyond that. Im out to make the next Star Wars,
Fight Club, Man Bites Dog, or Pulp Fiction. Not the next Scooby-Doo, Family Guy, or
American Idol. Those shows are all way too TV-ish for me.
All the greatest TV executive producers in television, be it comedy or action, are really
filmmakers in disguise. The best narrative TV shows always feel like a movie, whether
its dynamic compositions, cinematic music, low key lighting, drama, or a spectacle of
events. I dont watch TV shows that arent cinematic in some way, unless its a
documentary, music video, or some such thing.
I dont believe we as Westerners can just sit back and let the Japanese and other East
Asian natives draw all the good American broadcast shows for us. I feel even if its not
as good, and it might not be, its still our responsibility as American producers,
filmmakers, and storytellers, to tap and fill some of the market. Fortunately, Im sensing a
strong resurgence in my artistic productivity.

My biggest influences right now, things I want to copy from:

Conan / Frank Frazetta / Boris Vallejo

Star Wars
Scud: The Disposable Assassin

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Invader ZIM / I Feel Sick

Kinds of work I can do, by myself, when Im alone:

Write a novel
Draw storyboards
Write a screenplay
Draw on paper
Draw model sheets
Paint illustrations

Kind of work I can only do with resources:

Running a website
Running an animation studio
Doing a TV show

Power is about more than just feeling good. I need power to sustain me.
Im going to need all the physical, spiritual, and emotional power I can get to defend and
run counter-offensive moves against the ancient and evil forces conspiring to this very
day against me and my teams. The forces going against me never stop working or
plotting new and unexpected surprises to bring me down. The Gods are not in my
favor. The Gods very obviously do not favor me, so I cant rely on the favor of the gods.
But I need ancient and powerful good to defend my mental and physical health against
the dark forces of ancient evil in modern guise.

Got some books and DVDs in the mail in the last two or three days:
Blade: Graphic Novel
All You Need is Kill: Novel
Gundam Seed box set Vol. I
The Maxx: Complete Series
Sam & Max: The Complete Series
Garfield and Friends: Volume I
Im still waiting for my Captain Simian DVD. Should be cool
Since networks refuse to broadcast most retro stuff from the 90s on TV in the new
millennium, this has in turn helped me discover a new collecting hobby. Collecting not
just anime on DVD, but also classic 90s Saturday Morning and other such cartoon, on

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DVD, in box sets and complete DVD collections. Most of these kinds of official and
unofficial DVD box sets from 90s shows are pretty cheap because not a lot of people buy
them, but theyre really awesome. Its just another manifestation of reliving my
childhood, now that Im all grown up and am officially an adult. I celebrate my adulthood
by reminiscing over my childhood through box set DVD purchases, which thanks to the
internet, are now available where they wouldnt have been ten or so years ago, when the
only real shows re-issued on DVD were the super popular ones.

Refining My Art Style

As a producer, I have a dire need to refine my artwork, if nothing else to test my drafting
abilities, if not to see how far I can take a drawingto completion, hopefully. Its still
okay if my early drawings are sloppy. All artists work that way just about. But I need to
see if I can refine any of my work. I need to see how good my cleanup abilities are. It
doesnt matter how inspired by Tim Burton and Hiroaki Samuras sketchbook styles I
am, I can not afford to be that sloppy in my drawing technique until Im at least
somewhat more competent at something a lot more professional looking and less abstract
and hairy. I may think going abstract in all my sketches puts me at an advantage by
giving me more freedom to roam in my process, but if Im not finalizing and doing
cleanup for at least some of it and making an effort to hide more of my early results, then
that reflects poorly on my true drafting abilities as an artistif I dont put more effort
and delicacy in to my process and stop being lazy, my art will just end up looking more
and more depressing, sloppy, disorganized, uncoordinated, and unrefined. Thats
definitely not a result I want: sloppy work. I deep down want clean and maybe even
elaborate work. The truth of the matter is, just because it feels natural when I draw it as
a gesture, doesnt mean its going to look natural, Unless I refine it: A lot. I need to
spend less time producing new drawings, and more time refining and adding details and
correcting the anatomy and perspective of revisions of the ones I already have. Tim
Burton might draw that way, but that is only because his line of work no longer requires
him to. Hiroaki Samura can draw that way well (abstract sketchbook-like), but that is
only because he understands the anatomy and three dimensional structure underneath. If I
need to copy, copy, copy from drawings that actually do inspire me, then so be it. There
is no shame in copying for the majority of a days work.
My deadline for new drawings is Friday of next week. Not counting today, I think I can
come up with some pretty good material between now and them, even if I am mostly
drawing in retardo mode today, as far as anatomy is concerned.
After I realized I was able to learn how to write both a television script and a screenplay,
and could also cover all the bases that led up to it, like connecting scenes together and
writing outlinesIve been producing a lot of scripts since then. I began to take my
screenwriting career a bit more seriously during the very beginning of February of 2010,
and have been working at improving in the area and developing my screenplay concepts,
nonstop, for the last three months straight or so. Im actually quite a bit nearer to
finishing my First Draft of the Parallax pilot script or even various random episodes. Part

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of it is I like writing premises, outlines, and treatments, to say nothing of scenes, beats,
twists, synopses, and episode titles. Its just a lot of fun. Its work, but fun work, this
screenwriting thing.
Next Step as a Producer Engineer
Im going to be focusing on online broadcasting. No more of this 10 minute videos
only garbage. People want to watch full episodes, not clips. YouTube doesnt really do
anything beyond 10 minute clips, even though they have the power to. Guess delivering
that power is up to me.

Due to the lack of quality titles in the Western original manga community, there has been
quite an unhealthy bit of backlash in the following regions:

The American otaku community

The Japanese manga community
The message board community

This happened right around the time I was joining up with the original western manga
community. I was one of the people being targeted by the critics all over the internet
especially. All that backlash was really harsh on my stress levels, and dried up my artistic
skill entirely, causing me to often feel fatigue, stress, and artist block in many areas.
Every area except journaling and message board posting. It can be very hard to produce
anything when public backlash is causing everyone to gang up on you publicly in such a
mean-spirited way.
Characteristics Im missing:

Greater amount of discipline and self-discipline as an artist

Greater amount of discipline and self-discipline as a screenwriter
A Solid and Safe Foundation of high work ethic
An eye for detail
Work Ethic
Workaholism

Slowly but surely, I am, slowly, day by day, small bit by small bit, building a solid
foundation of discipline as a screen writer. I got some more work on my episodes done
today.
The psychiatrist I see, Bryant, keeps trying to talk me into living away from my family in
a group. Nice try, but Im not a big fan of getting raped away from home by some
mentally ill homeless guy, Bryant.

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As non-literary as Japan sort of looks on the surface half the time, it does have its share
of great contemporary writers who have emerged within the last 40-50 years.
In terms of personal favorites among Japanese authors, screenwriters, manga-ka, and
novelists, my favorites would be Otomo Katsuhiro (AKIRA), Yoshiyuki Tomino
(Gundam Universe), Urasawa Naoki (Monster), Masamune Shirow (Ghost in the Shell),
and a novelist I discovered a few weeks ago named Hiroshi Sakurazaka (All You Need Is
Kill). That last name is both tough to memorize and pronounce. But theres no denying in
my mind that those are good mature writers, in terms of creating mature books,
animation, and manga. In the age of the Arrogant Asian, these Japanese writers all seem
more than a little humble, and thank God for that. When one considers how limiting the
Japanese language and the kanji system is, with symbols and whatnot, achieving literary
depth in Japanese literature without resorting to fortune cookie wisdombut instead
taking after science fiction, psychological horror, cyberpunk, suspense, and Tom Clancyesque technothriller literatureand making it all flow like literary gold with depth to
spare, is no small task.

Otomo Katsuhiro
Shirow Masamune
Yoshiyuki Tomino
Urasawa Naoki
Hiroshi Sakurazaka

Ive just realized. Im not that powerful of a person, but I am occasionally able to
influence powerful people, and even inspire confidence in some of them. Mostly through
the internet and private correspondences.
And though I can act somewhat angry and hateful in private sometimes, some people
who know of me consider me somewhat of a humanitarian, or at least a person with
humanitarian values. Though I dont like to admit it publicly or through the media, I do
care deeply about my fellow man, and the fate of humanity, compassion, unconditional
love, meditation, the wisdom of sages, and all that. Most people think Im just selfish
though.

Parallax is not entirely a direct reference to Japanese culture. Its too mythologized to
reference just one thing, even if the protagonist does wield a blade and use martial arts. It
uses the context of the samurai warrior in an allegorical fantasy sense. Nothing more,
nothing less.

Who would have thought having so much free time would simply be so boring? Its
incredibly boring in my life currently. Theres nowhere to go and nothing to do. Dull.
Boring. In a way, it doesnt seem like anyone else out there is actually even trying to
compete or keep in step with me. Its like people only want to watch what I do
because Im the leader

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The animation and comic book landscape doesnt feel very healthy to me. I dont have
anything on the market, so Im out, and Jhonen and Steve Blum almost feel like theyre
retired or something, considering they havent done a major project in a while. So who
does that leave whos actually entertaining and not just there for the hell of it? Theres
Totally Spies and The Amazing Spiez. But there arent really any big names attached to
those series, even though they are basically fun shows. Theres Aqua Teens, Radical
Axis, JM Studios, and the Boondocks I suppose. Theyre always there, or at least for now
they are. But without any active peers, the industry feels a little deserted. And Im not
talking about all the talentless hacks and filler shows like Kids Next Door, Tom & Jerry,
and Penguins of Madagascar. Theres no real talent coming out of that latter group of
shows and whatnot. There never has been. I also cant remember the last time I read a
regular comic or American manga that actually influenced me, as opposed to just getting
noticed by me.
Did I earn or deserve my own unpopularity in any particular way? Im looking for
reasons as to why I am so reviled and unpopular, and Im drawing blanks.

If all those famous cartoon, anime, and TV characters are in fact based on some form of
my likeness, and they are me and I am themand if Cartoon Network and YouTubes
enterprises are partially based on and inspired by my contributions, like Ive claimed
before, I dont think Ive realized it before, then it means one of many things: I did help
launch and build an enterprise and foundation thats worldwide and seen by millions of
people. If they are based on my likeness, then that means my likeness is responsible for
contributing to the foundation of a multimedia franchise empire. But if Im in fact that
important, why dont those people pay me what Im really worth? Why do they feel the
need to deprive me from my own success and deceive the public like they have been.

Im retiring from the art world. Time to burn all my art that exists so far.

If Im going to turn a profit, Ive got to figure out what Ive got to sell, what my selling
qualities and points are, who Im selling to, and how Im going to sell it (selling strategy).
Commodity:

Anime credibility
Animation credibility
Power
Influence

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DVDs
My knowledge and expertise
My YouTube site
Online entertainment / content
Digital video
Creative ideas
Myself
My presence

If my birth parents hadnt left me and put me up for adoption, if my family history were
different and my fathers grandparents had stayed in England, history might have turned
out differently. I might be living a different life entirely in Michigan or Great Britain
right now. What I wouldnt give to not be forced to live here: In Florida. What I wouldnt
give for things to have turned out differently, and not be stuck in this life that I am.
Stop calling my house
Florida is just like one big prison. If you ever need a reason to hate America, just visit
Florida. It will give you plenty of reasons to hate America.
Sent a Fuck You letter to somebody in the media today. Not saying who though. I will
say they more than deserved it though. If I could start a physical fight with the person
and/or people I would. But unfortunately theyre all the way across the country. Id love
to kick their ass, but I just dont have the resources to deliver a true ass kicking.
If I ever become a boss to other people at a studio, I will have a no hot chick policy.
Attractive women arent allowed anywhere near me when Im the boss. That image on
TV of me interacting professionally with 7 hot bitches and prostitutes all at the same
time like the Jonas Brothers or whatever do, is an illusion, and I plan to put that fact on
display in my office. If youre too attractive, you wont get hired. Sorry bitch. Scram.
Repeat after me: B is for Boss. Not Pimp.

Due to my amount of fame and blatant indirect visibility increasing recently, in various
parts of the media, and the occasional active criticism from people in the media, both
corporate and independent, my priorities have either shifted, evolved, or gotten corrupted
completely. For a few weeks back there, I barely did any writing at all, and forgot my
core purpose in diving head first into this mission, end game, and objective, getting lost
in broader strokes of time and losing touch with my real self. I did some Zen meditation
at one point, and waited, mostly alone or with Andrew in the house, fending for myself
and probably failing at itwaiting for my mother to get home from her sisters recent
funeralshe passed away a few days agoIn all that, I had time to reflect, but no one to
share my alone time with, which only ended up making me feel lost, lonely and confused.
But just now, Ive come to re-realize a few things. I need people to keep going. I might
get to still live my dream and have all the money I ever wanted. And last, but certainly

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not least, the entire reason I became a writer was to create something, some kind of
foundation of some lasting legacy of literature, both of narrative, story, and monologues
and philosophyand maybe some technological notes that reveal some of my more
classified trade secrets of my engineering work and inventions. If my parents die to early,
that might be the end of me, right there. Im not as confident about my ability to function
independently as I used to, with the older I get. I can barely take care of myself, be it
fitness, health, or hygiene, or even finances. Im both poor and unhealthy. Not a good
look for a future king of pop culture media to have. If possible, I will avoid that fate. If
destiny permits me.
Came up with a new story idea. I usually get titles or visions before I flesh out the details,
but this one is not too bad.
Shadow-Master
[Or]
Shadow Walker
About a guy who has the power to turn into a shadow, or his own shadow, or blend in
with someone elses shadow, or hide in the shadows. I dont know what genre it would be
other than maybe like Parallax with Dark Fantasy, Fantasy, and maybe a little bit of
horror.

Already started writing out the chapter premises and some actual chapters for the Shadow
Walker novel. Decided to make Jack Knight, my old character concept, the Shadow
Walker. For my first real attempt at writing regular fiction, the chapters Ive come up
with so far are just as good, if not better than my short story The Phantom and the Voice
on the Phone. My newer fiction story has a lot more plot and is actually intriguing and
suspenseful. How I felt writing the chapter captions for Shadow Walker and watching
and feeling the chapters all the way up to Chapter 12 flow together so easily for once or a
change made me feel the happiest Ive ever felt actually writing fiction. Usually its
torture. Yesterday, it was a cinch!
Watching cartoons nowadays is a joke. What kind of rational adult watches cartoons
anyway? None thats how many. Educational television is much better. I think Ive
actually outgrown cartoons finally. That or Ive just gotten really, really sick of them and
what they stand for: Not growing up and all that other stupid retarded shit. Id rather
watch a DVD or old shows. Actually, Im beginning to suspect Ive outgrown Adult
Swim in general. Its juvenile and immature. Sometimes I still visit their message board,
but that to is trivial in my life lately. That would explain why I dont visit as much.

From now on, Im doing an emotional radar: Ill be writing down my emotional state:

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Friday, May 14, 2010 AD: Current emotional state: Triumphant.

I finally realized my emotions are one of the most powerful things about me. So I will be
recording them for posterity and myself, to get a better hold of them. How do I feel when
I watch modern cartoons that arent inspired by my own, or that are just plain bad, like
that new Garfield show when I compare it to the original: Quite furious and angry. Its
ignorant and arrogant and proud of it, and that makes me really, really mad. Arrogant
people are one thing. But powerful arrogant people make me want to beat them up.
Badly. Needless to say they make me really, really mad.
Current mood: Powerful hunger, emotional eating. Stomach deprivation.
Im an emotional stress eater. And I have powerful stress and powerful emotions. High
calorie food is like crack to me. If food were crack, Id be a crack-addict. When your
emotions are as powerful as mine are on an epic scale like they are, sometimes it feels
like food and work are the only things that can truly quell them. That and the stress.
When youre as big of a guy as I am, powerful emotions means power hunger.
Current mood: Well fed. Happy and jovial. Entertained. Normal.
Me, my family members, my friends, my lovers, my enemies and competitors, my
employers, peers, colleagues, mentors, associates, and co-workers, make for quite the
ensemble cast, dont we. For better or worse, I suppose. All of us are pretty much
perceived as how we really are by the people who matter.
Message boards baffle me a bit. When Im there, all the users there do is stalk, harass,
and insult me, or belittle me when I am there. But when Im not there all they ever do is
complain, cry, and whine about how much they miss me and wonder aloud about why
Im not there anymore. Well, you know, if you hadnt insulted me, I wouldnt be absent
in the first place! I dont go to websites to feel bad or humiliated, and if they cant
understand that, I guess they dont deserve to be near me. They miss me?? Yeah right!
Nobody misses me just for being absent for a few days/weeks/years. If you really want
someone around to interact with so much you wouldnt have driven them away to begin
with by treating them like shit in the first place. i.e. Me.
Well, I did get what I wanted: Widespread media press coverage. But it didnt turn out
like I expected it to. A lot of the things written and said about me in the Associated Press
and media ended up being very negative, not just positive. It ended up being really
humbling and ego shattering. I used to think if you were popular in the press, the only
things written about you would be positive. Of course, that was before the rise of the
internet and the decline of respect society has for itself. It wasnt just me. It was a
changing world as well. But also, everytime Ive butted heads with a talking head, their
ratings are the highest ever, naturally, so of course now everyone is desperate to use a
fake image or replacement of me or argue with me or make fun of me indirectly in a
vain and pathetic hope of nothing more than improving their ratings.

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Other names I go by: Joseph Stalin. David Letterman. Tiger Woods. Britney Spears.
Michael Jackson. Steven Colbert. Barack Obama. When they say these names (and other
much hyped media figures) they know good and well theyre talking about me. Others
are well aware of this too. Their basically code names and substitutes for my real name
half the time. That way they assume they can get away with talking about me/them and
everyone will be too stupid to know the wiser. Its a superstar metaphor thing. Who
exactly is the Associated Press trying to fool with this witchcraft and deceptive trickery. I
know youre talking about me. I dont need you to admit youre all lying to know that.
Ive come to realize that I dont even need to say this information on the internet anymore
for it to reach somebody. My computer(s) in my house, being the shitty PCs that they are,
get so hacked into by the elite members of the press and public, both locally and
nationally, that I dont even have to turn to the internet anymore. I can deliver a message
right here on my word processor, and it will STILL get seen by 100,000 in less than five
minutes when someone imitates it on the news or DeviantART, YouTube or something.
Now thats epic.

Current mood: Frustrated. Uninspired. Restless. Blocked. Unhappy.

Current mood: Drunk and hopped up on Monster.

When Im drunk, for a change I can truly draw and appreciate my own artwork in a way I
simply wouldnt be able to if I wasnt drunk off of my ass. Alcohol definitely helps my
creative process. Drinking helps my art in my humble opinion, in the fact that when I
drink Im actually able to draw for a change, as opposed to being so high strung my wrist
is so inhibited, its impossible to let loose on the page. Alcohol goes good with artwork
and working on art. I cant draw if Im not drinking something.

Current mood: Creatively stumped. Blocked.

Now that I think about it, I kind of wish sword fights were a bit easier to draw. I guess I
can always study manga, but still. Part of me wants to make everything up. I know thats
not realistic thinking though. Forgive me. Im full of alcohol, but at least Im actually
trying to draw a swordfight for a change. Typically, on an average day Im all talk and
theory and I never actually make that attempt. But I did this time, for a change, because
Im feeling extra bold.
.Sobriety sucks.

Current Mood: Deep. Contemplative. Introspective. Sobering up.

I dont know. Sometimes I just get lost in the depth of literary merit. I get lost in the
depth of words in general. Deep writing hold such a vast amount of philosophical

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meaning and beauty to me. Its so beautiful. I was reading Manifesto Vol. IV, the book I
wrote, and I was so inspired by it, when I really sat down and read it objectively. Almost
every sentence, every paragraph is a gem. A work of art. A poem. Dont know about the
syllables though. Its just like Jack Kerouacs On The Road. It just flows for days and
days, and theres so much ceaselessly rapid content there. I love it so much! Its sort of
like Beat Poetry, or at least monologue-based spoken word stuff. Im so prolific in some
ways. Not to be in love with myself or anything. I just know Im very good at writing. I
dont even know if I need that much editing. I was initially criticized by my writer peers
in person and online for being long-winded and verbose. Basically, for writing more than
everybody else, i.e. being prolific with my output. Now the prolificacy of writers like
myself is seen as epic and a virtue. My how the times change. No one criticizes me
online for being long winded or starting every sentence with I anymore. Cuz now
everyone does that. Yet another one of my potential innovation that has never been done
before.

Part of me is glad everyday I dont have to rely on drawing or even writing comics for
making money. Im glad web design pays so well. That way I dont have to end up going
broke, homeless, and insane attempting to draw comics that I stopped wanting to work on
a long, long time ago. Im much better with technology and computers. But not
webcomics. Im glad DVD comes so easily to me. DVD authoring and fiction writing are
two of my most advanced areas. Theres virtually no competition in the DVD business,
whereas with art theres nothing but mean and nasty teenaged competition online. That
just isnt me. The art and anime community has turn into something very evil in my life.
Its like drugs or violence. You know its gonna kill you. The art business isnt as easy to
get hired in as it used to.

Topics of my life story:

Arab-Americans
Chinese-Americans
British people
Internet business
Webcomics
Adoption
Michigan
Bullies
Celebrity
Stalking and Cyberstalking
Mental illness

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TV animation
Animation history
Psychiatric hospitals
Shock therapy
Florida, Illinois, and Michigan
Friendship
Multiracial people
Buddhism
China
Anime
Manga and American Manga
YouTube
Corporate America
Slander
Music

Current mood: Lust

Mood: Forceful. Determined. Encouraged. Tenacious. Creative. Power of Will.
The truth about my art is, my problem is really nothing less or more than I dont know
when to give up. People in the public try to discourage me a LOT. But from them I learn
nothing other than how to deal with migraines by taking energy drinks, alcohol, and
Advil as well as putting on headphones and listening to some damn good/fine music.
Drawing art can be frustrating. But frustration is a part of the process of developing
creative self-discipline and will power toward producing art, little by little, drawing by
drawing until you have a sufficient amount of output, work, and drawings. Frustration
builds character, especially when it comes to discipline and turning self discipline into a
habit like what Ive done with my writing and fiction writing. The same thing is going to
happen to my art, as long as I internalize the self-discipline and will-power management
theories in my new book Shouldnt be all that hard. Starting today, Monday, May 17th,
Ive gotten at least 8 drawings and 6 pages of those drawings done today, all as part of
my regiment.
Mood: Comforted. At Peace. Talented. Accomplished.

Clearly, though some scholarly critics think differently, IMO, Dave Sim isnt a
misogynist in my eyes. True, he does hate some things: Aggressive feminism. But thats
different than hating women themselves. He seems more to me like a misunderstood,
misread, and misinterpreted masculist, who is very pro-masculism. I myself am a bit of a
pro-masculist myself. Im just not as angry about it. Not in my work anyway.

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What has stopped me before from using Photoshop is not motivation, but Money and lack
of education or studying up on Photoshops. That calls for a Photoshop book purchase.
And what has stopped me from painting by hand has been a secret phobia of getting wet
paint on my body, arms, shorts, pants, and cloths. I know that doesnt seem like a big deal
to painters. I dont know if thats from having hemmohoroids or what, fear of making a
mess, but I have a fear of spilling paint on myself, my clothes, my table, or my carpet and
making it dirty, leaving a stain. I guess subconsciously Im afraid of it because a part of
getting stained and dirty feels irreversible to me. If I wasnt afraid of getting messy with
paint supplies, acrylics, water, brushes, watercolors, and and charcoal. If I can somehow
conquer this fear or perhaps just anxiety or frustration or phobia, I could build a great life
for myself as a great painter one day. With enough supervision from my current secret
middle aged art impressionist / post impressionist teacher-mentor Donna Frank, I can
probably defeat my fear of painting with some help from her. I painted one cover image
of Mono with her help, and a few other illustrative paintings, and with more guidance
from that particular teacher, I could actually one day not be so afraid or anxiety-ish about
painting by myself. And then theres computer motion effects and Photoshop.

Taking credit is fucking stupid. Taking someone elses credit is even more retarded, but
frankly I dont give a shit what people do with their time. Recognition is stupid. Only
stupid people seek those things. People who try to steal my or anyone elses credit are
clearly blind to and missing the big picture. That making things happen, not hogging the
spotlight too much, and working behind the scenes is what really matters. Not superficial
recognition. That isnt worth anything. I dont know why the spotlight and recognition is
so important to some people. Its not important to me whatsoever. Like I said, I couldnt
care less about when other people try to steal the credit from me and whether they fail or
not. Theyll always fail until they learn what this business is really about: Making things
happen. Making Big Things happen. Huge earth shattering, civilization altering, life
changing things. Like YouTube and anime. What most people dont realize or at least
arent aware of, even in the industry is that having random other people you dont know
at all try to steal what little credit there is to steal from you goes hand in hand with being
the mastermind behind the whole movement and revolution. With the internet and
modern media, thats just a fact of life if youre a guy like me, one of the movers and
shakers and record breakers.

Didnt have a chance to write or surf the internet much today or this evening. Mostly due
to the fact that I spent most of today drawing. And I read in my educational $11 How to
increase your willpower type bookthats about developing inner strength and
disciplinethat your mind can only really focus on one thing at a time, even when youre
multitasking. Even upon the first day after finishing reading that book (in 1 day), I feel
like Im already making progress within the first 24 hours. And the new monthly

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sketchpad and new mechanical erasable pencils probably didnt hurt my drawing skills
either.

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Chapter 16

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Now I know where I got the pen & ink gesture science fantasy drawing thing from: The
form. Not the content. I got my pen & ink trademark from the Tim Burton art and
interview book, Burton on Burton. In the early stages of my artistic life, I copied the style
of those Tim Burton drawings a lot. It both improved and stiffened my art style. It did
attain that designy, visionary element. But at the same time it made my line quality very,
very stiff and tilted: Sketching roughs with a pen for 10 years in a row or something. It
transferred over to my mechanical pencil drawings as well, stiffing and hardening my
hand movements with a mechanical and No. 2 pencil. One other big early adolescent
influence was Bruce Timm, his storyboards, and his model sheets for the original Batman
Animated franchise, before it started sucking around the time they did stuff like Static
Shock, Brave and the Bold, and Batman Beyond. That was very NOT Bruce Timm, in my
opinion. Probably some of the most Un-Timm-like Timm stuff I have ever seen in my
life. What inspired me about batman was the sleek angularity, the stylization, the
anatomical exaggeration, and the use of ink and positive/negative space in a neo-noir
style. That was way before I discovered what and who influenced it: Frank Miller, Walt
Disneys Sleeping Beauty, and Millers Sin City and The Dark Knight Returns.

In the last 3 days, Ive drawn 40 pages of artwork. None of them are scanned. I think for
now Im better off not scanning them. Not right away anyway.

I wonder who the most powerful men in Hollywood, animation, anime, manga, and
comics are now. I know that Forbes Magazine ranked Barack Obama as the most
powerful person in the world, and the Dalai Lama as one of the 20 most powerful. But I
wonder who the most powerful auteur and player is in animation now, now that Walt
Disney is gone. Hayao Miyazaki? Steve Blum? Masashi Kishimoto? Sean Akins? John
Lasseter? Gen Fukunaga? Kristy Lijewski? Stu Levy? Chad Hurley and Steve Chen? I
know of them all.
While I am one of Barack Obamas biggest famous supporters for obvious reasons, my
brother, aka Riley Freeman is one of his biggest critics and haters. He has been since the
Primaries. He voted for John McCAin, if I am not mistaken, which sucks balls IMO. But
hes free to think as he chooses I guess. Hell rant to this house to anyone who will listen
every time the media consistently praises Obama. Definitly an Obama critic. But
paradoxically, he also hates W Bush, and has hated him since his approval ratings
dropped. Andrew will turn on any president whose approval ratings drop, even if by a
little. His sense of logic and problem solving isnt exactly there. Glad I dont share a
bloodline with my brother. Andrew may be a true warrior in some ways, but his political
views are extremist and ignorant.
Toshiro Mifune.

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There are a few places I am considering living, other than Casselberry, where I already
live: Los Angeles, California. Mount Dora, Florida. Boulder, Colorado. Ann Arbor,
Michigan. Maybe Hong Kong, too.
Just like it takes money to make money. It takes power to accumulate power. If you dont
have power to start off with, if your not put any kind of powerful position by destiny or
society, you probably wont have power at the end of your life either. Im not that
powerful, and Ill probably never end up that powerful either, no matter how good my
strategy is. Leave the power to the power players, of which I am not one of. And you
know what? I really hate when they call me powerful or portray me as incredibly strong
and powerful in animated or anime TV Shows. Thats a lie. Im not powerful at all. If I
was so powerful, or at least as powerful as they say, I would be working on a TV show or
have my name on a famous product. I have none of those things. Becoming a powerful
cartoon character in a famous TV show makes me less powerful, if anything. Why?
Because its silly idealism. A fantasy. It isnt real. Youre never powerful unless youre
rich. And Im not even half way or one one-hundredth of the way to being rich. Part of
the reason I dont feel powerful like I did in the past about my career and whatnot is
because I dont feel powerful or empowered. Theres nothing I can do of my own free
will that would create such an effect that would make me think Man, I have a lot of raw
power at my disposal! the way Tim Berners-Lee, Katsuhiro Otomo, Bill Gates, Lance
Heiskell, and Ted Turner do. Im not big on that level. I dont have that kind of
psychological, economic, cultural, and social power. So Ive started a few trends. Why
would that be power? Thats not power. Its only power if someone knows you did it or
are responsible for it. I dont have either of those benefits. Therefore I dont have any of
the power. Powerless sounds more accurate to me.
Current Mood: Pissed off, taken advantage of, and exploited unfairly. Bored. Invisible.
I hate God. He always wants me to fail. God, whatever he/she/it is never wants me to
succeed. And when God is working against you, when something that powerful is trying
to sabotage me, Ill be lucky just to survive.
My websites do have one powerful aspect though. The networks for some reason almost
always save their good shows and movies for when I make updates to my internet sites,
but especially YouTube. Sometimes I get lucky and at times people pay attention to my
ASMB updates or posts too, and their commemorate that with an entertaining primetime
esque broadcast in the middle of the day, too.
So far Ive made it through 5 days straight of my 3-pages a day practice routine. But due
to how fatigued and self-sabotaged I became yesterday, fate has suddenly cut me off yet
again. I think 42 or so pages of drawings is enough. Im probably overdue for a few days
off, so I can get my energy and motivation back. I am a little blocked because of my
sudden burnout of leaving the house to go to therapy.
Damn, unfortunately the government is the only one willing to pay me. Whoops, did I say
that out loud.

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Career Goals?
Yeah, I have a few that I wont stop or be happy until I attain.
In no specific order, my life dreams

Get hired by an animation studio for something

Become a screenwriter-producer
Finish an epic narrative
Start my own website
Get more press coverage
Dont go to the poor house
Design an entire fantasy world
Design a building, cities, and cityscapes for both science-fantasy and the Real
World (aka landscape)
Fill up 1 sketchbook a month
Own Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Final Cut Pro, and a Macintosh
Lose 50 lbs.

My ultimate Dream and Career Ambition is to become a True Urban Master

Builder. I want to design buildings, and entire cities using nothing more than a
sketchpad, drawing board, and computer illustration software. I want to be the next
Syd Mead, Moebius, or Katsuhiro Otomo. Influencing Japanese design is one of the
highest professional honors I have achieved yet, what with my black and gray
badass longcoats and trenchcoats. But I want to go one step beyond that. I want to
be the visionary Builder, Constructor, Mastermind, and General Architect that
influences Japanese architecture in Southeast Asia the same way Otomo and Syd
Mead influenced modern downtown Tokyo, Japan. How am I going to achieve this
amazing feat, you ask? That is simple. Provide some form of production design for
an anime-influenced movie, comic book, webcomics, TV animation series (or if Im
lucky, all of the above) the way Jhonen Vasquez did with I Feel Sick and its
influence on Invader Zim, and the way the Gundam production designers have on
Hong Kong and Japan. The Japanese are huge architectonics buffs.
Building a fortified foundation, both in terms of process and methodology and/or
output-results, is the ultimate way to attain control of a powerful system. An
entrepreneurial business-based comic book or animation venture of any sort,
whether national or international, is a lot harder than building a technological
systematic foundation for free, especially if youre a natural genius as an engineer,
but an unnatural one as a draftsman.
Ive heard a rumor that the various footage that I used in my film Anime Megamix
Vol. I has been seen over 2 billion times on YouTube, or at least that is the number

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of times various uploaded clips of that film have been seen on YouTube, which is
nearly all anime.
The main element I can think of that makes my anime influence less superficial than
a lot of young artists anime influence of this generation, is not just that I dont use
the clich and stereotypical shirtless males and big eyes. Im going for much more of
a hybrid feel. What I mean by that is Im not just going for and aiming for a purely
Japanese influence like a lot of Franime (Marathon Studios, Moonscope, Code
Lyoko, Totally Spies), French-Japanese (Oban) and Japanese-American coproductions (The Animatrix, Kill Bill, Batman Gotham Knight, IGPX, Big O II) do.
Up till this point its almost always exclusively been about the Japanese influence
with contemporary American animation. But the thing is, Im one of the few people
in the industry for a much more hybridized co-pro pan-Asian vibe to it. Avatar was
the first to do it, or was it Jackie Chan Adventures and The Boondocks (?) that
included things like Chinese food, Chinese culture, wuxia pian, kung fu fight
sequences, Taoism, wire-fu, trenchcoats, gun-fu in their animation. Im working
towards the ultimate goal or End Game of including all or at least most of these
things, along with other elements, such as Chinese comics and anime, sciencefantasy, and cyberpunk. I guess the point Im trying to illustrate here is it should be
a genuine Asian influence, meaning Japanese, Hong Kong, Tibetan, and South
Korean. You dont need purely Japanese staff just to do something that displays
where you pull your Asian and anime influence from. Anime influence travels well.
Fighting travels well. That specifically hyperdetailed, hyper-rendered, architectural,
violent, and fast-paced aesthetic, if done well and worked on for long enough, speaks
volumes to nearly any culture, demographic, or society, but especially white, young,
analytical, and creative. If anime influence is truly well executed and aesthetic, its
appeal is just as universal as any popular or cult anime franchise, because it has the
same textural feel. The textural feel is still there. And that is an entirely new kind of
selling point. The anime-influenced brand. My Mono film noir and Mono
conceptual designs are living proof that if your low on money, resources, audience,
and staff, you dont always need to resort to working with an Asian studio or hire
Far Eastern contractors just to get the textural anime-esque vibe going on. The
French studios, Frank Miller, Bruce Timm, and Todd McFarlane were the first to
prove this fact to be correct. I love what they do. Some fans will scoff at this theory,
but that doesnt refute it at all.
If theres one area of Asian culture I have mastered, it is the glare, the intense
uncensored Chinese rage, aggression, and fury upon which so many martial arts
films in China and Hong Kong have been based, and the stuff influenced by it from
other Asian countries, like Japan with Dragonball Z and Naruto. That is one way I
channel my Scorpio power, through raw ancient Chinese social outrage, violence,
and anger. Some might label this a controversial artistic storytelling and narrative
literature strategy, but thats just all the more reason to do it. Parallax was and still
is intended to express the raw yet still noble aspects of Asian culture, mainly
violence and anger as expressed, like a Tiger and Dragon, through the martial arts,
along with billion bullet factory shootouts, ballet violence, temporary supernatural

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fantastical flight, swordsmanship, and wire-fu. People in America, when they think
of stereotypical Asians, or just plain Asians for that matter as violent angry people
on the level that American rage and hatred is viewed as, as this uncontrollable,
scary, violent thing. But its there in Asian culture just like its everywhere else,
even if Asian anger towards America is incredibly taboo and villainized. Its not
considered a normal American filmmaker technique to portray true Asians as
generally irate and angry. To Americans Chinese are these weak, feeble, chinky,
fortune cookie monks or Zen Masters, or just plain young elegant geisha-esque (yet
always controlled and subdued. Never like Tank Girl or Nicole, never a real true
likeable punk rock bitch) females or shrimpy little geeky college age males who only
know math and working in a factory but nothing else. Very racist. Very
stereotypical. Ive never seen that as the true reality of Southeast Asian culture.
Mono was always intended to be an iconic symbol as what I see as the best, most
noble, and rawest in heroic culture, both western and eastern, both local and
international.
It is kind of cool being famed in story throughout the world. But it does often seem like
I dont have an actual phone number. The only calls my house gets are for the rest of my
family, hardly ever, if not never, for me.

Influences and Innovations on Pop Culture Ive made through the web:

Goth meets Conan Apocalypse Action

Web manga
Streaming anime video
Black Action Trenchcoats in manga
Dual Wielding
Architects and Architecture are cool
The hip designer archetype
Indie Martial Arts

Im glad I still have my indie credibility intact, unlike some people. And as long as the
mainstream continues to not really know who I am, Im pretty sure Im still in a safe
position to keep my integrity.
Technically theres no such thing as a famous and popular anime screenwriter, with the
two individuals of Katsuhiro Otomo and Yoshiyuki Tomino being perhaps 2 of the only
well known exceptions
But yes, no such thing as a famous screenwriter the same way there are famous artists.
You dont generally enter the field of screenwriting to become famous. I think most
knowledgeable entertainers are cognizant of that. Writing is profound, life altering, and
important of course, but it wont exactly make you a famous celebrity. I love it enough

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that I dont need that reason to produce millions of words. That element just kind of
flows from me. Sort of powerful I guess. But inspirational motivation aside, it can be
kind of tough to control in terms of how long you spend working on it.
Actors in television and movies designed with makeup and wigs to have a face like
me on TV generally sicken and creep me out. Face stealing is one of the creepiest
crimes Ive ever seen. A face is like money. It must be protected. Its generally morally
wrong to steal such a thing.
I kind of like being and generally want to continue being an internet, comics, and literary
auteurIn my own mind if nowhere else. Auteurs are generally unpopular and hated by
anyone who isnt the press and trade magazines. Oh yeah, and their army fans and
devoted followers who arent generally as vocal as their critics.
Phil once told me the truth about how showbusiness is set up, and how it works for the
Spielbergs and Disneys of the world. Television, film, and corporate media are set up so
that theres a giant hierarchical pyramid set up, with the top guy(s) in the industry way up
at the top, defending his branded position, power, fame money, and reputation with all his
might, some might even say psychotically, with his life, and he can step on anyone lower
down on the hierarchy pyramid, ESPECIALLY at the bottom where Im at, at any time
he likes. He becomes this iconic and worshipped God while all his minions and fans fall
all over themselves to please him and make him happy. No one dares question him
because hes the most powerful, and everyone else is an insect that he can step on at any
time he wants. Some could call this the ultimate form of narcissism, egomania, and
megalomania. And in many ways it is. All the articles get written about him, everyone
admires or pretends to admire him, what he says goes (or else), and he gets literally
anything he wants; Drugs, sex, women, dates, lovers, fans, endless adoration, cheering
fans. All the attention and money anyone could ever want. And then theres me and
everyone else, way at the bottom of the pyramid, or very close to it. Not a god, not
wearing makeup. An insect that everybody steps on, or else the master-God will demolish
your ass.
And that is how entertainment works. Not a fair system, but thems the breaks.

Retaining, maintaining, and generally keeping your tenacity of a work ethic, and flow of
productivity, and self-discipline or willpower through the times when you finally get
burnt out, and the ability to keep plugging awayeven when all your opponents are
attempting to use psyche-out techniques on you, pretending to get mad or upset with you
when they dont care anywhere near that muchis truly not an easy task. Its not easy at
all. As a matter of fact, its hard work. Its one of the hardest things to do. Its never easy
to keep plugging away when the feeling of exhaustion, fatigue, procrastination, and
burnout manifests itself your life once again.

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There are some live action film directors whose work I turn to for inspiration on my own
style, some more for content, some more for form:

Steven Spielberg
Quentin Tarantino
Tim Burton
John Woo
Yuen Woo-Ping
Ridley Scott
M. Night Shyamalan
Kevin Smith
The Wachowski Bros.
George Lucas
Peter Jackson

Work Log:
Parallax - Script: 12 pages
Shadow Walker; Novel Outline: 5 pages
The Phantom and the Voice: Novel Monologues and Plot Development 11 pages
Actual Professional Looking Artwork: 12 pages
Total Number of Professional-Level Pages of Art and Literature:
Pages Completed so far in total: 40
Month/Year Accomplished: May, 2010
Age of Author: 26 years old

So currently, my career work scheduleas I like to call ithas me working on 4 projects

at once. My creative-discipline level seems to have reached full strength again.
Currently, Im writing 2 novels, a screenplay, and storyboards all at the same time again.
It was a lot of fun collaborating with Steve Blum on that comics-related website dialogue
script, writing the dialogue script for him as Mono. Blum makes a perfect Mono, just as I
suspected. No one can top his rendition of Mono. Steven Jay Blum just understood the
psychology of Mono better than any other actor I know of, Hollywood, animation, anime,
or otherwise. I think I might call it The Mono dub. Now its my job to continue
designing, writing screenplays, and drawing storyboards for my project. The fact that I
have to keep working doesnt bother me all that much considering how fun, furious, and
fast being both a novelist and screenwriter can be.

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The Writing Process:

From Concept to Publication
1. Premise Synopsis
2. Outline
3. Scene
4. Description
5. Dialogue
6. Chapter
7. Beginning
8. Middle
9. End
10. Novel Script

Am I worried about being able to make history nowadays? No, even if its only by
association or in a tangentially related manner, I already made history. My whole
generation of peersGeneration Xmade history in both the 90s and 2000s for taking
part in two or more of the most interesting and dynamic, fast-paced decades of history.
That is more than enough for me. If I had been even vaguely aware of how far I would
get to go in the following decades, knowing ahead of time, as a teenager and little kid, Id
have proclaimed myself retired a long time ago, out of pure euphoria. Ive become a
hundred times better as a thinker, engineer, artist, and writer since then too. I dont think
many kids now aspire to grow up to be writers nowadays, except really, really smart
ones. Of course, something tells me its always been that way.
So I left my house to go driving to therapy with my Mom, down the street of Orlando
Avenue, and I couldnt help but notice, Central Florida has grown in population. But one
of the most striking differences about my home town, Casselberry, is right around where
Winter Park is, on that road that turns off the highway, that leads to the old, old, really
old Catholic preschool I went to, Good Shepard Preschool, thats a school thats part
youth church where I met my best friend Chris Hess, and part preschool, right next to it,
blocking the whole view of it from the busiest road right next to the train crossing, theres
this Enormous, gargantuan, and epically designed fancily designed and constructed three
or four story apartment complex thats just enormous. It makes the whole area look a lot
nice then it looked when I went to the school hiding behind it. That road used to look so
simple, low budget and humble. Now its this big Juggernaut of a building. I never would
have expected such an enormous construction of architecture to be build in a place like
that, right where the preschool areas is, down the road from Lake Lilly. That main
highway road that traverses across all those sights to behold is often a very busy road,
and often congested, but at least he architecture is nice. As a potential architect, I can
appreciate the Growth and Building Aspect of the area surrounding Lake Lilly. If I didnt
know any better, Id say its an up-and-coming area of either construction, or a place
where theres a lot of cars driving past. Actually, it kind of seems like both.

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Marketing Reverse Psychology 101 Says:

I have more shit than you do merely by doing the same thing you do, because Im special
and know secret techniques in business that you dont. Nyeh. This sort of reverse
psychology deception and trickery is common practice among the Japanese and
Americans on sites like YouTube and DA. Someone shows the exact same video or
visual imagery and gets 1 million views/visits/fans more than the previous person who
preceded them.
Generally, I understand the often deceptive and manipulative psychological implications
of TV. Im aware of it because Im a natural psychologist:
For instance, if TV characters on shows are constantly portraying me of lacking this or
that quality, then chances are theres someone, an actual real person saying the exact
opposite and clearly wanting to convince the world you have that opposite qualityof
what is said about mein spades. The opinions of TV writers/actors and my peers on the
internet are two separate things entirely. Their separate opinions couldnt be more
opposing. If the internet says Yes, TV says No. If TV says Yes, the internet says
No. Its really nothing more than one big silly political back-and-forth mind game and
reverse psychology method two separate mediums play with each other. And because Im
one of the leaders of the internet, against my will I get caught up in these rivalries and
arguments, and many words are put in my mouth that I never said in reality.
Before the 2000s dropped on America like a huge revolutionary explosion, it used to be
the in entertainment, just being nationally popular was enough. But me being the
ambitious person I am, even back then, I wanted to achieve something even greater than
national bestseller status (the 100,000 to 1 million audience member range). I wanted
international recognition. I wanted fans and associates in the global and international
business, entertainment, and media community, particularly in Europe and Asia, for
reasons unbeknownst to be at the time. Little did I know I would later discover that that
was more than likely because I had cultural heritage linking back to those continents. It
was an unconscious international hometown pride thing. I was raised to think and grow
up thinking I was a white American citizen and little to nothing more than that. Boy was I
misled. Fortunately the internet came along at just the right time to open up a gateway
towards international recognition and fame for me. On the internet and in animation and
comics of course.
People come to me for good action film on paper. I can make action scenes just as good
as anything the Japanese or Chinese can turn out.

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Artists to buy art books of:

Todd McFarlane
Tim Burton
Jamie Hewlett
Syd Mead
Avatar
Hiroaki Samura
Yoshiyuki Sadamoto

Asian cinema is not easy to make: Harder work, more attention to detail and
movement/pacing, lower pay, smaller budget, smaller audience, shorter schedule,
language and cultural barriers. But I believe the end results speak for themselves,
timelessly and universally in some ways.
Wow, that 5-Hour Energy drink really works. It really can help you develop discipline
and work hard.
For example, for all of today, from 12 noon onward, Ive been sitting in place at the
computer room computer desk, nonstop, stationary, with my head in a book on Asian
cinemas influence on America, underlining passages I like for 4 hours nonstop, with no
TV watched whatsoever, just totally intense and hyper-super-focused. Powerful energy
drinks can increase the intensity of my focus, discipline, and concentration.

The male/female demographic of popular youth-based websites and TV networks:

CN and YouTubes audience is populated mostly by males (guy stuff)
With Disney Channel and DeviantART, its mostly females (girl stuff)

Im beginning to feel like Ive gotten in a bit over my head in terms of my site on
YouTube. That site is now bigger than I am. Im just some guy. That site is actually very
popular. More popular than any kind of potential popularity Im used to, not counting my
public internet persona.
I just realized, I draw like an Asian-influenced Goth. I am technically a Goth at heart.
Like most Goths, my mind and pen linger on the macabre, fantasy, discontent, and
Darkness, and my favorite color is of course black. Ive always liked black in a gothic
sort of way. And when I was a teenager, the only literature that spoke to me was fiction
and fantasy about monsters, creatures, hellish minions, serial killers, death, and the
undead. Most of my tee shirts and long-sleeves and turtle necks and turtle neck longsleeves I wear are all black, as black is my favorite fashion color, and some of my jeans
are black too. But Ill often balance the black out with lighter blue jeans or khaki pants or
khaki shorts with elongated pant legs. Ill wear all black sometimes because I like the

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macabre fashion look, i.e. the Goth look. My hair though is Burton-like. Actually Tim
Burton resembles me in quite a few ways: His disposition, his outlook, his creativity, his
design sense, his hair, the way he talks, the way he draws.

Elements that will be incorporated into The Mono Saga:

Oblique Angles
Notan Design
Black and White Artwork
Pen and Ink Techniques
Wuxia Pian
Science Fantasy
Dystopian Architecture
Aspect Angles
Speed Lines
John Woo-Style Shootouts
Sword and Planet
Heroic Bloodshed
Sword Fights
Perspective
Im still hard at work on The Mono Saga. Im going to start off approaching it like a
comic strip and less like a comic book. Ill do a page at a time. I dont know how long the
first few pages will take me to do, but if I keep reading the Skinny on Willpower, I just
might have what it takes to get started on that series. In the beginning its going to be all
1-page illustrations and comic strip influenced sequential art pages.

So those loud obnoxious neighbors who keep stalking me do work for the media, either
as web writers or as journalists. Theyve done a healthy amount of eavesdropping and
spying on me, and have done a considerable amount of attempting to fuck me over. But
the news is onto them, clearly. They wrote a similar neighbor spy story about Sarah Palin,
ironically enough. She apparently has the same problem I do. Moles and spies of
everyday affairs. Just so they can profit off of any potential scandal they can find.
Theyll get theirs. Eventually. Maybe I can get a neighborhood petition signed to have
them driven out of the neighborhood, or I can just blow the whistle on them, whoever
those creeps are. Whatever theyre up to, it clearly wont end in a happy ending for
them. The last neighbor to try spying like the kind theyre doing got arrested by the
police. If they want to go there, theyll face the consequences of their careless, noisy, and
wreckless actions. Writing a million bad news stories about me and making a thousand
look alikes of me wont keep them from getting arrested for invasion of privacy just like
the last guy ended up in (jail) when he was finally exposed. If they dont get the hell
away from me and leave me alone, theyll end up in jail too. Eventually. I mean, its not
like I dont know where to find them if I want to, for starters.

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I can accept being outcasted and ousted from my own international family lineage, and
the Asian community rejecting my artistic attempts to be accepted by them, even though I
am technically Asian myself. I can accept that much, even if it isnt really fair to me. But
e-humiliation and e-libel is really where I must draw the line: American journalists trying
to label me a depraved criminal and all that. That is the ultimate insult in my eyes. That
doesnt just show their rejection of me. It is an open display of cultural disrespect. It
deeply offends me.

Today on the ASMB, someone, Nyanya I think, accused me of bragging about how
much better Im doing than most of us and that I didnt need to do that. All I said was
what I was working on in a little more detail than usual. I wasnt trying to make everyone
else look bad or say what all my accomplishments are. Now they think Im a
douchebag. Great. Now everyone thinks Im doing better and am more successful
than other people, and a bragger. That kind of hurts. Im not that high and mighty, am
I? I dont really think Im better than everyone else, but Im beginning to feel like
people feel that way about me, just because Im sort of successful and people talk about
me. But because certain others seem to resent my success, its making me a bithesitant
to embrace it. I mean, I like being successful, but if it has to make everyone jealous and
resentful like some of them are, is it really worth it?
Success kind of stinks because any mention of an accomplishment can be viewed as
arrogant bragging, as I learned earlier tonight.

Computers
Self-Publishing
DVDs
Streaming Video
The Internet and Web 2.0
Manga
World Manga
Co-Productions
Anime
Action Cartoons
Animation Networks
Filmmaking in Comics
Archetypes
With these tools and numerous others, I help to build the future foundation of future
civilization.

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Achievements That Are Enormous in Scope

Auteur Status as a writer, producer, author, designer, and illustrator

Blockbuster creative projects, constantly imitated and emulated
YouTube (Billions of people, billions of dollars at stake)
Anime Streaming Video (Video Websites)
Master Storyteller and Visual Stylist
Epic, Long-Winded Narratives
Inventor of Practical Inventions (TV-DVD, TV-PC System, Creative Software)
International Fame
Press Coverage
Internet Dominance
Broadcasting Dominance
Tokyo, Paris, Hong Kong, Hollywood, Great Britain
DVD Entertainment
Web Brand Management
International Audience
International Television Animation Co-Productions
Modern Media Empire
Citizen of the World
Auteur-Theory
My Mission as an Animated Action Filmmaker

To sum it up and simplify my career objective: I like violent adult animation. I like
violent adult comics. I want to make quality violent visual storytelling in animation and
comics for primarily young, male adult audiences. I want to incorporate more maturity
and (violent) action series into American animation.
Not violent childrens animation. Not anime. Not action anime. Violent adult American
action series. Like Bruce Timm, only less sleek and even more violent than his gimmick,
and not for family audiences. For young adult audiences. I want to be both the John Woo
Quentin Tarantino Auteur of American animation. Im aware this could create great
controversy, but my intuitive side tells me incorporating mature violent content into my
locally produced American animation series will be one of the best, most effective ways
of competing against Asian-based filmmakers. Which is not to say I wont collaborate
with Asian animators, cleanup crews, and filmmakersBut the content has to be
American-written, designed, voice acted, and produced, even if Asians end up being
involved in my project(s), which is not outside the realm of possibility.
Im already past the first step of producing and pioneering a much more intense, violent,
action-packed, and mature brand of animation screenwriting for television. Im emulating
and reverse engineering the storytelling methods of famous Japanese action storytellers.
Former Toonami shows like Dragonball Z, Rurouni Kenshin, Cowboy Bebop, and Yu Yu

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Hakusho, as well as filmmakers like Yuen-Woo Ping, John Woo, Tarantino, George
Lucas, and the Shaw Bros, which are all good for Martial Arts animation studies.
Im off to a good start. My content has definitely taken on a form in my head and on the
page that reads violently enough.

And to commemorate my turn towards the dark and violent side of cinema, Ive decided
on a thematic motif, a recurring theme to go with for June and the whats left of May:
The Motif Is:
Blood
Im going to see how many ways I can portray the liquid substance known as blood:

Decapitations
Mutilations
Blood flying through the air
Blood splatters
Bloodstains
Blood oceans
Raining blood
Puddles of blood
Bloody clothing

No. of blood drawings today: 2.

Anime and Manga Allies:

Otomo Katsuhiro
Todd McFarlane
Steve Blum
Eric P. Sherman
Bang Zoom! Entertainment
Roy Pitts
AnimeTV
Masashi Kishimoto
Akira Toriyama
Shinji Kasai
Hong Kong
Stu Levy
Lance Heiskell
Sean Akins
Cellar FCP

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Thats a lot of people in the higher ups. Theyre kind of my bosses.

One thing Ive learned about the internet is that, if people are doing something on the
internet, its not going to make any money unless Im doing the same thing. Thats just
how it works.

I really feel like made a breakthrougha very serious breakthroughwhen I drew my

Le Samourai French New Wave fanart of the Melville classic. I drew a perfect Mono
drawing, big inked, detailed, dynamic, with weapons and everything. I was more than
happy with it. That is not what is unusual about it. What is unusual about it is that Im
reaching a phase of my drawing career where doing drawings has become like my journal
writing, so self-disciplined and easy and the foundation has become so stable and
powerful, that I can now do great artwork at any time of the day, spontaneously, making
my freestyle drawing so spontaneous and instantaneous I dont even realize that is what
Im doing. When I drew Le Samourai, I wasnt even aware that I was drawing at the time
when I was drawing it. It was just an impulse, just another action. Not a chore, task, or
anything else that feels heavy like that. Its the first drawing I did where I didnt notice I
was doing work, or was even aware that I was drawing something challenging. I was
vaguely aware in a way, but not so much that it interfered with my process and technique
and blocked me, or even fatigued me or made me burn out, like it has before. It was
effortless, and an actual good detailed work. That is what amazed me about it, how
effortless, quick, and easy it was, even for a drawing of that dynamic level.

There are only four things in modern literature that go on forever: The press coverage of
Barack Obama, Cerebus, Wikimedia, and my word processor literature library archive.

I guess I kind of do have the Midas Touch at times. Most of the stuff I work on clearly
has a visionary auteur quality to it. No wonder everyone in Hollywood and in Tokyo are
working so hard at reverse engineering my ideas and concepts. Theyre valuable to the
world, in a futuristic sense. Co-productions wont become really popular until years from
now, when they match the quality in content and form of regular anime.

Though the structure and format of a finished screenplayas compared to a finished

novelvaries greatly, there is one element of the production process that both types of
projects have in common: The Outline. No matter how you write it, the Outline is always
a narrative storytelling description told through the third person. No matter which one
you are writing at the timea novel, or a screenplaythe process of narrating, crafting,
and writing the Outline is essentially the same. Its a detailed summary of each chapter,
or scene, or both. Ever since I started writing outlines for chapters and scene scripts its
been one of my favorite parts of the process.

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Its easiest to market my talents when they fit into that specific segment of the market
(Tube), where most of the people there dont view me as nothing more than an intruder
nuisance (i.e. Nickelodeon, Adult Swim, and DeviantART). I get the largest amount of
consumer participation at YouTube.

One of the many quotes I remember reading in Robert McKees Story struck me very
profoundly when I read it back around 2002 or so, and it still resonates with me today:
The audience of a Hollywood film is still vast and loyal. Distributors have the same
motivation now they had then: money. Whats changed is contemporary auteurs cannot
tell story with the power of the previous generation. Like pretentious interior decorators,
they make films that strike the eye, and nothing more. As a result, the storm of European
genius has become a slough of arid films that leave a vacuum for Hollywood to fill.
Asian works, however, now travel throughout North America and the world, moving and
delighting millions, seizing the international spotlight with ease for one reason: Asian
filmmakers tell superb stories. Rather than scapegoating distributors, non-Hollywood
filmmakers would do well to look to the East, where artists have the passion to tell stories
and the craft to tell them beautifully
The art of story is the dominant cultural force in the world, and the art of film is the
dominant medium of grand enterprise. The world audience is devoted but thirsting for
story. Why? Not from a poverty of effort. The Writers Guild of America script
registration service logs over thirty-five thousand titles yearly. These are only those that
are registered. Across America hundreds of thousands of screenplays are attempted each
year, but only a handful are quality screenplays, for many reasons but above all: Todays
would-be writers rush to the typewriter without first learning the craft
Robert McKee
Story

There are certain levels of literary achievement certain written projects reach. Theres:
Here is the hierarchy:

Novels (Fantasy, Science Fiction, Thriller)

Screenplays (Hollywood, Hong Kong Action)
Television scripts (Drama, Comedy)
Comics (Superheroes, Graphic Novels)
Animation Scripts (Cartoons, Anime)
Internet writing (Message Boards, YIM)
Comic Strips (1 A Day Gags)

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Ill write any an all of those, just about. I do eventually plan to write for royalties when I
actually complete a project. That could be anywhere from half a year to five years from
now. I wouldnt rule out the possibility of a TV screenplay being finished by me before
the end of this years.
When I write my first novel (that novel perhaps being Jack Knight: Shadow Walker,
which actually seems to be building momentum), Im going to self-publish it for the hell
of it, sell it through Amazon, and then shop it around to agents that are connected with
publishers.
Its often not clear in the beginning to me which medium I will ultimately end up telling
my initial story concept in. Currently, I work with premises and Outlines, not with
specific media. I work with a word processor of numerous varietiesboth screenwriting
and word processingand a blank stack of papers. Because that is all I really need in
reality in terms of how I begin the process of working with my projects.

Projects I like to work on:

Comics Graphic Novel (script / artwork)

TV Animation Screenplay (script / artwork)
Novel (manuscript)
Hollywood Action Movie Screenplay (script / production design / storyboards)
Website
Storyboards

Ironically enough, I didnt realize how important scripting is to comics, manga, and
graphic novels until just now. I really should write out the plot of each page of
panelsand morethat I draw, even if its just a handwritten premise. But it can
also be a hand written outline, or a typed up script.
I know how to write an animation screenplay, for either film or television. And I also
know how to write a novel. Now Im learning the final step: How to write a comic
book and graphic novel script. Then I learn how to draw the panels of a comic book and
graphic novel. After I learn more about A) How to plan and write a novel, B) How to
script a graphic novel / comic book, and C) How to draw a graphic novel / comic book,
Ill be all set in terms of setting up the foundation of all my work in the future.
Id love to write up to 100 to 200 scripts or more when it comes to comics, television,
animation, and manga, but it really is reliant upon not only how disciplined I am and how
much willpower I have, but also how dedicated I am to my craft.

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Ive learned a whole bunch of new stuff about new ways of expressing myself through
drawing and writing. In the last few weeks Ive picked up a lot of new techniques:

Comic book script formatting

Thumbnails
Storybaording
Writing Outlines
The 7-Step Novel Writing Method

Thats 5 brand new creative techniques Ive picked up in less than a month. Quite
amazing.

New Strategic Plan

From nowthe year 2010 at the age of 26until thenThe year 2030 at the age of 46
Im going to do the following:
During the next 20 years, Im going to write and draw as many of the following as
possible, on a weekly, if not mostly daily basis:

Comic book scriptwriting

Comic Book Sequential Art planning and drawing
Storyboarding for Animation and Comics
Drawing Thumbnails for Animation Storyboards and Comics
Writing Outlines for Novels, Screenplays, and Comics
Writing Novel Chapters using the 7-Step Method
Writing TV Animation Screenplays
Painting in Acrylics For Comic Covers and Illustrations
Filling up 1 or more Sketchbooks a Month with Art

Im going to become as hyperfocused as possible. Using all the discipline techniques Ive
taught myself to this point, what with the Willpower and Fiction/Screen Writing books
Im reading.

Within the next 3 years (2013), I am planning on finishing the following:

My first completed TV Screenplay
My first completed Novel
My first completed Comic Book Script
My first completed Comic Book Issue
My first completed TV Episode Storyboard
My first fully painted Illustration

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When finished with them, I will self publish all or most of them, just like the Manifesto
series
One step at a time though
First of all, I want to work from home as much as I can on my projects, and I dont want
to relocate for a gig if I dont have to. Im only going to relocate to live near an animation
studio to get work done if its absolutely necessary. Im planning on writing all my
scripts and novels in my bedroom, eventually on a Macintosh, if I can afford it.

As for being a novelist, I need my first novel to be 200300 in length, or more. Ill start
off writing it like a short story, but then Ill keep adding to it over time until it elongates
by around 50100 pages. But it all starts with a premise, Chapter Premises, and Chapter
Outlines. Some of which I have already written.
Two of my favorite macabre authors and artists, other than Tim Burton and HP
Lovecraft, would have to be the 2 Edwards: Edward Lear and Edward Gorey.
As far as Im concerned, the more truly weird the network, or book, or story, or comic or
movie, or show, or album is, the better. Not just weird as in dark, but also, or either,
weird as in weird. The weirder it is or gets, the more its going to keep my attention.
Weird is usually associated with dark, but it doesnt have to be! Space Ghost is weird.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Toonami, Cartoon Network and Adult Swim are weird. Anime
and manga are weird. Dragonball Z is weird. Stephen King is weird. All You Need is Kill
is weird. The Adams Family and Alice in Wonderland are weird. John Woos films and
Asian cinema in general are weird. Tim Burton is weird. Edward Gorey and Edward Lear
are weird. Steve Blum is weird. IGPX: the Immortal Grand Prix and Cowboy Bebop are
weird. Quentin Tarantino and George Lucas are weird. Jhonen Vasquez is weird. The
Maxx, Spawn, and Sam & Max are weird. Cerebus is weird. Most of my favorite things
are too weird for a lot of people. Im just a weird kind of guy. Weird is both my aesthetic,
and my source of entertainment and inspiration. Weird entertainment has both the
tendency and potential to either enlighten the mind or warp it to freakishness. Or both.
Weird is a whole industry. Weird is a genre. The Chinese and Japanese have mastered the
art of weirdness, both in culture and in entertaining storytelling.
Im on the verge of another 7th year growth period of my life, where Im about to be
reborn spiritually and psychologically again, around the end of 2011, around November
of next year, when I turn 28.
I dont know what it is, whether my mind is slowing down or not, or if Im getting older,
but my concentration is stronger than its ever been all of the sudden. That and my
patience towards other people feels Zen-like and limitless, regardless of how poorly they
speak of me. I just suddenly feel like I have a lot more time on my hands, and therefore
more patience. Things that would have previously infuriated and instigated me dont

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leave a dent in my psyche at the moment. I cant for the life of me figure out how I got
this way or how it happened. Whats changed about me in the last year and all that.
Maybe Im feeling more secure in my career, and therefore that assurance and patience
for my work is trickling down to the more mundane, everyday aspects of my life. I feel
great. Not depressed or angry at all.
Current mood: Infinitely patient. Zen-like.

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Chapter 17

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I have in my possession a lot of secret information and trade secrets, not least of which is
the books and magazines I read.
Here is what I refer to as the books I own that hold all the secrets of my universe:
The Secret Library of J

Animation Magazine 20 Year Anniversary Collectors Issue

Ninja Shadowhand: The Art of Invisibility
The Laws of Power
Beyond Strategic Vision: Effective Corporate Action and Hoshin Planning
The Asian Influence on Hollywood Action Films
Story by Robert McKee
Ghost in the Shell by Mssamune Shirow
Akira by Katsuhiro Otomo
The Artists Way: A Spiritual Path To Higher Creativity
The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination
Film Architecture: From Metropolis to Blade Runner
How to Draw Comics The Marvel Way by Stan Lee
The Art of Oban Star-Racers
Hipira by Katsuhiro Otomo
Manga! Manga! The World of Japanese Comics
The Brand Called You
Writing Fiction for Dummies
DVD Authoring and Production: An Authoritative Guide
International Television Co-Production: From Access to Success
The Existential Pleasures of Engineering
Bushido: The Code of the Samurai
The Art of Shaolin Kung-Fu: The Secrets of Kung Fu
Awakening the Buddha Within
The Idiots Guide to Being Psychic
Strategic Planning for Dummies
Reversing: Secrets of Reverse Engineering
Manga Start-Up Guide: Pen and Ink: How To
How to Draw Manga: Making Anime
Wikinomics: How Mass Communication Changes Everything
Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
The Medium is the Message by Marshall McLuhan
Citizen Marketers: When People Are the Message
Information Security Management Handbook (Fifth Edition)
Understanding Movies
The Skinny on Willpower: How to Develop Self-Discipline
Your Career in Animation: How to Survive and Thrive
Do Less, Achieve More

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Secrets of the Young and Successful

The Asian Mind Game: A Westerners Survival Manual
Producing Animation
Animation: From Script to Screen
China Forever: The Shaw Brothers and Diasporic Cinema
On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King
The History of Animation by Charles Solomon

By now Ive learned some of the secrets of people overseas. I know if something is
considered really good, mind boggling, and amazing in America, no matter what it is, the
Japanese will always question the motives of said arts creator and call it crap as long
as there are Americans who like it, purely because Americans like it and it is customary
in Japan to say and think the opposite of what they think in America, regardless of what it
is. Nothing personal.

Am I choosing sailing over flight just to spite the American-Floridia tourist and airline
industry, which I think is a joke? Yes, I am

I think Im going to need to see a chiropractor. For at least the last 2 weeks, Ive been
feeling a very sharp pain in my back everytime I sit upright to write or use the internet. It
hurts to do any type of clerical work. I guess I never thought so much time spent working
upright in a chair would hurt or injure the bone or muscles in my back. My wrist also
hurts quite a bit. Whether or not this intense pain will go away remains to be seen.

My brother is a typical Guardian temperament. He obviously think just because TV and

movies have authority, everything the TV And Hollywood and the Orlando Sentinel
feeds him is right, accurate, and should not be questioned. How gullible can you get?
Anime Analysis Mode:
Scrutinizing Parallax and Mono and question why I am doing what Im doing:
There are people with careers,

There are people like me. People who are working towards careers that last
forever

And then there are people who know glamour and fame and get to be on TV for a
whole 2 minutes! And then everyone forgets about you and shits on you for the
rest of your life.

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Which one do you want?

I finally have some spare memory on my hard drive again. Around 130 half hours worth
or so. Thats plenty of room to add plenty of titles I like. Currently Im using my ripping
software to rip Kill Bill Vol. I. Before that, I ripped my .Hack//SIGN DVD episodes.
That was fun. Ripping DVDs is a whole lot of fun. So is using my DVD-recorder on my
TV. I recorded Adventures from the Book of Virtues on Qubo and Dennis the Menace on
Boomerang.

Friday, June 04, 2010

Got a little bit of writing done today. Got a LOT of ripping of DVDs done today.
Authored 2 DVDs with my DVD recorder, and ripped the entire series of that amazing
cartoon, The Maxx, all 13 episodes all ripped in one day, from morning to evening while
watching DBZ Kai around the end. Great shows. The episodes for The Maxx are short
though, around 11 or 13 minutes each. Very Adult Swim-ish in terms of being in the 15
minute format. If it was on Adult Swim it would fit in. AS should do some project with
Sam Keith the way they did with John K and Mike Judge. That would be amazing, what
with Keiths badass painting skills. I keep watching fragments of The Maxx over and over
again. Its like Invader Zim in that its set up about as close as its going to get to a comic
book in the form of a TV show, where you can either watch the whole series all the way
through, or you can watch fragments of it and dissect certain scenes.
Junes going to be a busy and challenging, but very rewarding month for me on an
individual personal level, my psychic intuition is telling me.

If Im ever going to become a full fledged Graphic Novelist, somehow, some way, some
day, I need to figure out how to break free of these oppressive chains of inhibition and
self restraint for higher creative and artistic expression. Im already plenty literary. I just
need to work on the art part. While everyones away from the center activity in my house,
I now have a brief amount of time for creative growth, what with solitude as it feeds the
muse and all that.
Writing For Comics (How To)
Theres layout scripts. Scripts with primitive rough panels that look like comic book
layouts, because they sort of are.
The secret to writing a continuing narrative in comics lies in not only being able to
make that transition and breakdown from worded scripts to visual pages, down to
panels, but also breaking it down, one scene or image or chapter at a time as it leads
into the next chapter/issue/page/panel. You have to break each category of section of
each story down into as small of transitional increments and segments and

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compartmentalized pages as you can, then break it down into visual descriptions of
panels and pages once you get a good page-and-panel flow going, and one
image/scene/action/sequence leads seamlessly into another, the next one.
If I would have known this, I probably could have gotten started on my comics scripts a
lot earlier, even if they were nothing more than daily comic strips of three panels a day,
like Ive just started doing. Anything to keep the pencil and/or pen moving after all.
Update:
When drawing panels, you can only show a moment happening one at a time, once
at the most.
The Japanese manga has a hundred year system of manga set up. Theyre way ahead of
us. They have a deep reservoir and foundation of a Japanese manga mythology and
storytellingnot to mention franchising, especially latelyindustry.
Meanwhile people like me and Piro are leading the charge in American Manga and
manga influenced comics and graphic novels. This system is almost seventy or eighty
years newer. Thats a long time that weve gone without building up our own American
system of manga, our own deep foundation. Fortunately, people like me and my manga
contemporaries at places like Webcomics Nation and DeviantART are, slowly but surely,
building a much newer, much smaller foundation, that is just beginning to get off
the ground and take flight, but will probably take roots and develop into a deep
foundation within the coming decades and century, just so long as we work very,
very hard.
Otomo writing me into his book as an homage to my achievement, was one of the highest
honors and greatest achievements I have ever felt in my young life. Now Im starting to
see for what it is. He recognized something universal in me and my style that Im
beginning to suspect he saw or sees in him self. That sense of naivety, creativity,
exploration and wonderment. And then theres Naruto. Its like, I dont know how it
happened, but now especially, looking at the way the tides of opinion toward American
manga are slowly turning in its favor, I feel like the struggle is slowly lifting, and the
torch is slowly being passed. That is why I need to get back in shape, stay healthy, or at
least dont over indulge in food, and live a long time, so I can draw and write and
produce a lot of stories like my destiny says I should. Regardless of how popular or
successful they are during my lifetime, or to posterity, regardless of whether I end up like
Osamu Tezuka, John Lasseter, Dave Sim, Todd McFarlane, Frank Frazetta, or Robert E.
Howard, or a combination thereof. There is no denying how much I contribute to this
current generation of storytellers. Regardless of whether people love or hate me.
Got more Tiger Eye Gems, and Got some books in the mail today, and in the last few
days.

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Star Wars From the Adventures of Luke Skywalker by George Lucas (a novel)
Acrylic Painting For Dummies
The Complete Idiots Guide to Creating a Graphic Novel by Steve Lieber
Romanticism, a Taschen series book
Skywalking: The Life and Films of George Lucas by Dale Pollock

When Im painting, at the beginning my brushstrokes would show. It sort of worked for
my Blue Cloud-Sky acrylics painting, because you can get away with letting brushstrokes
show in things like fire (red, yellow) and clouds (blue, white). But when it comes to
tough textures and thick things like surfaces of objects and human skin, Im generally not
going to want to intentionally want my brushstrokes to show. Romanticism is a mixture.
In Romanticism paintings, the brushstrokes can be either visible or invisible.
The three primary colors are Red, Yellow, and Blue.
Other main colors include Black, White, Orange, Green, Purple, and Brown.
When I get better at painting with textures, I want to make an attempt at drawing anime
in a Romantic fine art style. Fine Art Manga, Fine Art Anime eh? Almost all color anime
is done one computers recently. I want to draw Fine Art and Romanticism-based efforts
at creating my own style of anime and manga, not just pen and ink / Black & White.
Some backgrounds in anime are painted by hand, but the majority of the foreground
imagery is done digitally, or just with inks and pencils. I aim to change thateventually.
I want to do what I did with my cloud drawing and apply it to effects, costume design,
and anatomy. None of that Photoshop stuff unless I want to switch into computer
coloring mode. That might work.
My deviantart page really only exists not because of desperation gimmick making on
my part, but purely because the Deviant webmasters are greedy and too manipulative to
bother to program in a function that lets users delete their pages at will. That way they
can torture you for EVER AND EVER AND EVER. AND EVER AND EVER AND
EVER!
The farthest Id go with End Times would be self publishing through Lulu, and maybe
create space, but thats it. Theres no publication process for me. I cant work like that.
After it gets drawn on paper, its going straight in a drawer to collect dust. It wouldnt do
me any good to have someone else do the art for my End Times. Im such an asshole
egomaniacal megalojerk, Id probably see the artists work, and say That sucks, then
proceed to continue attempting to draw it myself, even though that artist drew 100 pages
for me, for free! Working like that only hurts your collaborators feelings and makes me
look like an asshole, which isnt too far off from reality. Im too demanding to
successfully work with others. Thats just too compromising for my tastes. Im not good
with the give and take thing. I just take, and I give my creative work to myself, case in
point, Manifesto Volumes I-IV. Most artists arent that good. Most artists are only going
to slow me and my own artwork down.

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I know whats wrong with my life, and its not the perfectionism when my art skills are
actually quite weak.
Its the fact that my newfound public stature is interfering with my desire and ability to
reach the level of a great artist. The drawing process sounds simple enough, but there is a
whole system of language and technique that goes with it. Not to mention pr bullshit.

Uhyeah. Comics! Lets talk about drawing some comics! For the fifth millionth time in
a row without anyone listening.
There are 2 Main Reasons why:
A: Parallax isnt a co-production yet
&
B: Im not rich and famous
The Answers to A & B.
Answer A: Parallax isnt popular enough to get turned into a co-pro. Adaptations take
power and popularity. 2 Things I will never have, so there is no reason to bother.
Answer B: Because Im unlucky. Luck is a factor, and if youre unlucky,
screwed.

youre

Being part Asian artist myself, I do love a good Asian artist. And if I had my way, of
course, all the Asian artists working for me would be as efficient at drafting their scenes
as Imaginary Friends, Min-Woo Hyung, Otomo, and Cellar FCP. I should only be so
fortunate and blessed. I love Min-Woo Hyungs Conceptual Art Book Tokyopop
published.
Im definitely considering having my agent(s) approach Min-Woo Hyung to be a special
guest conceptual artist for my animation staff. Hes got enough talent to lead a staff,
especially if the outsourcing was done in Korea, which is where he lives.
Im not going to be too forward or anything, but Ill just say more Japanese character
designers are inspired by recent western cosplayers than there used to be. American
Anime got a lot better and more designy in the post 2005 era, with shows like The
Boondocks, Spawn, Star Wars, and The Last Airbender. Plenty of Eastern Based
Designers love this kind of work. To cite an example: Min-Woo Hyungs official
conceptual art design book was released by Tokyopop specifically with an American
audience in mind. Guess Id better keep drawing Mono, and my other characters. My
other main characters need to be as expertly designed as Mono.

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5 Main Books Im studying:

Min-Woo Hyung Art Book

Acrylic Painting For Dummies
The Idiots Guide to Creating a Graphic Novel
The Asian Influence in Hollywood

Well, Im not the best manga artist in America (nowhere close). And Im not the most
accepted or popular artist either like Jhonen Vasquez is. But I am one of the most
tenacious and persevering. Probably my biggest problem is that I dont recognize my
artistic drafting weaknesses right away, leaving room for others to point this fact out for
me. Acrylics and Notan have really been helping me though, especially in my color (and)
cover compositions.
Re-Visions
You can draw anything super detailed, easily. As long as your willing to make the
attempt to draw it 100 to 400 times in a row: An example being: My favorite hero. Its all
about repetition and not being afraid to draw the same thing over and over at least 10 to
20 times or a lot more. I got a very good motorcycle in 3 4 attempts, when the first
attempt was near unrecognizable.
Newest Willpower Goal:
I will draw every sketch I produce at least 4 times or more, less if it turns out perfect
before the 4th try.
A Testament to this fact: The only True Power Art Ive ever drawn has been through the
result of numerous preliminary attempts. At the very least 2 prelim sketches. Just as the
best writers rewrite, the best artists redraw. There is no real drawing. Only habitual and
ritualistic redrawing.

As of now, the only authors Im interested in studying are Stephen King, Tom Clancy,
Michael Moorcock, Isaac Asimov, William S. Burroughs, Tolkien, and Robert E.
Howard.

The internet is a lot like a perfect, sealed-up, well-guarded, secret world. Its secret
power.
People being aware of my power, the Power word, only creates problems. It creates
people who secretly plot against me and who secretly scheme to surprise me with various
forms of attempts at sabotage in just about every field I could ever pursue.

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New Ritualistic Compulsive Disciplined Habits

Practice them All ASAP, Often

Let Go, and Let God, Amen.

Self-Discipline
Thumbnail Panel Layouts
Thumbnail Page Layouts
Muti-Point Perspective
Ripping DVDs
Burning DVDs
Monthly Sketchbook Documentation
CeltX
Screenwriting Outlines
Novelization Outlines
Comic Book Screenwriting (Format and Structure)
Storyboards and Thumbnails
Reverse Engineering The Mind of the Designer
Reverse Engineering Cinematic DVDs
Reverse Engineering Fight Scenes on Screen
How-To Draw Firearms (Manga How-To)
How-To Draw Fighting and Combat
Acrylics Painting Practice

Top Authors of Political Intrigue:

George Lucas
Leo Tolstoy
Masamune Shirow
Tomino Yoshiyuki
Otomo Katsuhira
Todd McFarlane
Stan Lee
Tom Clancy
Isaac Asimov
Some are clearly more informed than others, but all know how to tell good tales political
and military intrigue. Not counting George Lucas, Tom Clancy is the main inventor of
the Elite Political and Military Intrigue Genre. The whole Ghost in the Shell franchise
would exist the way it does if it hadnt taken storytelling and literary narrative cues from
him.

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Concept: Tom Clancy / Stephen King meets Star Wars / Tolkien / Conan meets
Michael Moorcock meets meets Akira / Blade Runner / Moebius meets Yuen-Woo
Ping and Min-Woo Hyung. Clearly, I too many influences. Only I can visual this
style in its entirety. This is where my visionary daydreaming begins. Just as only Dave
Sim could visualize and manifest Cerebus. Only Todd McFarlane could visualize and
manifest Spawn. Only Tarantino could visualize and manifest Pulp Fiction. Only Bill
Gates could visualize and manifest Microsoft. Only I can visual, manifest, and build a
foundation for Parallax with my own two hands. Ill build that castle, if I must. Im not at
all afraid to anymore. I do have thumbnails and a greater amount of discipline after all.
Took me a while, but Im already more than 1/4th of the way there. I have more direction
and focus in my work than I did before: By a lot.

Conan influenced Frank Miller who influenced Bruce Timm and Todd McFarlane
Moebius and Syd Mead influenced Blade Runner and Otomo who influenced
Todd McFarlane, Trigun, Dragonball Z, and Naruto.
Yuen Woo-Ping influenced The Matrix and Kill Bill
Tom Clancy influenced Ghost in the Shell, clearly.

I like to get to the real roots and soul of whos influencing me. Dig down deep to the root,
the glowing source, and preserve it for yourself.
Its the Six Degrees of Influence Seperation. I like to know what those influencing myself
consider to be their own source of influence and power.
Anything I read is liable to influence my writing (and art) in some way or another.
Wiki Prints: Coming Soon!
Stephen King
Science-Fiction
Tom Clancy
Patriotism
Books: How to program home electronics (Beginners Guide)
Book: Safe Driving: Beginners Guide
Wiki Pages in need of Studying / Review:
French New Wave
Soviet Montage
Eisenstein
Jean Luc Godard
Maya Deren

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When I see a word heavy text, I have a tendency to want to read it all the way through,
uncondensed, in its entirety, no matter how verbose, technical, wordy, or overphilosophical, over-technical, and scientific it is. Big mistake. Ive got to figure out an
efficient way, perhaps even a system, that revolves around skipping the parts I dont
understand, because at least that way I can say I read and finished my book collection,
instead of giving up in the first chapter or half way through half the time, and not
finishing anything. I always wondered how Dad ever got through that former-collection
of all those Tom Clancy hardcover novels. He skipped the parts that went over his head.
That was his secret reading technique. Is it cheating? Who cares as long as I can finish
and understand the meat of the book.
I read Stephen King in middle school, Ken Wilber in high school, and Tom Clancy in my
young adulthood.
I am a workaholic, but I need to work ten times harder if I want to get anything of real
significance done.
Almost every great, famous writer has a primary home for his stories. A Narrative
Backdrop. A place your world calls home.
With Tom Clancy, many of his books involve America, Russia, and the Soviet Union,
espionage, military strategy, the race for Nukes, all that and whatnot.
For Tolkien, it was the sprawling Mountains, Castles, villages, and Hills with the Fantasy
Lore of Middle Earth.
For Stephen King, its the suburban Main and The Apocalypse somewhere in the desert,
what with The Stand and The Dark Tower series.
My backdrop is the politics and military science of Clancy meets the mountainous
regions of Middle Earth and the Dystopian and Cyberpunk Metropolitan areas of Blade
Runner and Otomos Neo-Tokyo, or perhaps Neo-America, I joke.

Yes yes, I know, but this is anime were talking about and you must somehow learn to
control youre amazing, chemically imbalanced, and Very American Patriotic Impulses.
Patriotism is bad yo
No actually, love of your own country is a very good thing.
Turns out I have a lot of influence on the final outcome that a lot of my younger peers
dont know about
Id hate to see America turn into a passive country like France or Japan. Those places
kind of suck compared to America. My character designs are made in America. I
wouldnt give that fact up for all the money, fame, and positive reviews in the world. Im

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not really trying to compete with the Japanese in art, but I know for a fact Im just as
good at what I do as half of them are.
Barack Hussein Obama, The 44th President, and First Multiracial-American, AfricanAmerican President of the United States of America is a wonderful breath of fresh air for
this country. He actually makes me proud of my own countryThe United States
again, and proud to be an American citizen again. I couldnt say that for the Bush
Administration. Clinton I just ignored, even though overall, he was a good president too.
Bush though was a very, very bad president. I can relate to Obama in a certain way. Its
hard to explain to people who dont get the way I think. I never feel patriotic with a
Republican president most of the time. I try to be bipartisan, but I cant lie.

Im definitely not good at reacting to or competing against competitors who are young
adults or younger than myself. To me, theyre all still coloring with Crayola crayons and
shitting in wet diapers. I dont like kids in general, therefore I despise kid competitors
twice as much as that. Fucking hate dealing with those people. Theyre so arrogant,
inexperienced, nave, gullible, and immature, and they do anything the mob of crowds
tells them to do.
I look at these shows and I dont always see power or perfection.
Maybe my motivations for going into televisionprimarily fame, power, and money
sent me in the wrong direction. I dont think I was cut out for TV.

When you think about it, the Web 2.0 is like one big information library of various
genres.

Wikipedia is giant e-library of information and knowledge.

DeviantART is a giant e-library of art and illustration from mostly unknowns.
YouTube is a giant e-library of video of nearly every kind

I engineered a way to play WMV video in my Windows Media Player as a Video

Playlist, kind of like a Mixtape or TV schedule (minus the commercials). I taught myself
how to do this through intuition, self-education, experimentation, and my own genius of
course. I didnt even have to read any instructions on how to do it. I guess I just know
Windows Media that well, that I can make up engineering solutions by experimentation
and get them to work through intuitive engineering alone!
I call this product/result, The WMV Playlist
My genre, visually speaking, is cyberexpressionist dystopian romanticism.
My literary genre is sword-&-planet dark science-fantasy.
Its a synthetic style.

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Saturday, June 12, 2010,

The more pages and the longer a narrative is, the more epic it is in format. A work
isnt an epic work unless it is longer than most other works. The size of one epic is
equivalent to at least 3-10 shorter works.
With each page you add to your narrative, thats one page more epic than it was
before the page was added. Thats why you have to work in small bits at a time, one
panel at a time, one thumbnail at a time, one drawing at a time, one page at a time.
Retrojunk.com is onto something there, as is Toonami Digital Arsenal. Theyre onto
something very important. Something very Disney/Spielberg-like, and that is: a certain
type of magic. The Magic of Memories. Reliving your childhood through movies and TV
shows on DVD can be a magic, exciting and incredibly fun experience.
Competition is good at replicating my style. But the real question is, can they replicate
my fecal matter successfully?
If I ever get wealthy, Im going to put my money to work for me. I might even acquire
some small companies, or at least pay some of their bills so I can get some of their
revenues, kind of like how Google bought out YouTube. Theyre my heroes. There is
none higher. I get five points off the word quagmire.

Ive done enough work for today, but unfortunately there isnt much on TV until later
tonight.

In my comics work, Im combining 2 genres that arent normally combined:

Western literature like the Bible and Odyssey, and Southeast Asian martial arts, or wuxia,
which technically also started as Asian insider literature, but was just a very simplified
version of literature; Yet again my style combines 2 things that wouldnt normally go
together.

So, I think my birth mother has a thing for Holy Men. Her latest partner is a priest named
Doug. She didnt say what his last name is.

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Self-Assigned Projects

Clean filth in room / Finish cleaning room

Work on TV Screenwriting
Author Comic Book Scripts
Work on Thumbnails/Layouts (fill up thumbnail paper)
Practice Acrylics
Work on Comic Book Panel Drawings
Punch up outlines
Work on dialogue

I keep forgetting to follow one of the main rules of modern Hollywood. If someone
attempts to take from you, in terms of bad PR or badmouthing you, you do anything but
give. Never give to someone in the media who takes from you. If you do youll regret it
for the rest of your days.
Every showbusiness genre has implications you are going to have to deal with if you
work in that field. What are the ones for manga, that most can agree upon?

Well, for starters the Japanese arts and entertainment business.

Cinema
Comics, comic books, and graphic novels
Action stories (more often than not)
Small business
International culture
The world publishing industry
Branding

I just realized, Im already aspiring to work in numerous powerful fields:

Animation / Anime
Comic / Manga
Novels
Hollywood Film
Online Broadcasting

These are some of the most powerful, glamorous fields there are.

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Thumbnails: Continued
By nature, my right-brained, creative, visual, and artistic half is naturally very
spontaneous and impulsive. It often doesnt plan, unlike my strategic left-brain
hemisphere. When it comes to my creative process, impulsiveness and spontaneity are the
kings of my mind in terms of that part of my life. I can only do so much linguistic
planning before I draw, if at all. Otherwise I wont get any drawing done if its too
planned out, even if I wish that wasnt the case. For example, Ive tried printing out and
designing pre-arranged storyboard-panel paper, but when it comes time to fill the boxes
up with various dynamic and cinematic action imagery, often Ill end up defying and
rebelling against myself by not producing anything, whereas Ill get a lot more storyboard
panel thumbnails done, because my subconscious keeps telling me everything about a
thumbnail panel should be simple, impulsive, and spontaneous, yes, even the images
frame, which I so far have only drawn completed pictureswith framesby hand. Its
almost like subconsciously, in the back of my mind, Im unwilling to adjust for myself,
listen to myself, or do something when I give myself a command; its like a part of me is
rebelling against my own self! Or at least the left hemisphere of my brain. This not
getting along with myself concept is relatively new to me. I never used to feel this type
of internal schizophrenic division and rebellion. Or at least I never tried to control it
because no one told me this opposing element of my subconscious mind and self was
there. Weird!

Pretty much finished cleaning my room today. Thats a relief

In one sense, all my creative projects, much like The Matrix and Kill Bill, are homages in
one sense, and yet they also go beyond that.
In terms of screenwriting, I take everything I like about the cinema and channel it into my
screenplays.
In terms of comics, I take everything I like about my favorite comics, and channel it into
my sequential art.
When one thinks about it, when as an author you set out to make a great work of modern
art: are you truly ever being original on all levels, or are you merely imitating whats
already worked throughout history, by using archetypes, even if youre work isnt clich
ridden. For example: Everyone tells hero stories, but not everyone pens good hero stories.

Experimenting with systematic working techniques, in relation to drawing comics panels

and finding out what works, is a bit like experimenting in a science lab by mixing
together various chemical compounds. If you mix the right combination of theories and
techniques, youre bound to find a cure for something holding you back. If you get it

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right in the experimental or theoretical stage, that can be very effective later on, in the
long run.
To put it another way, if I can get it right in the beginner start-up phase of development,
where I can produce a few thumbnails at a time with ease, that will eventually evolve into
panels, and later, pages and even later after that chapters. Patience. All bridges must be
built one brick at a time, and all Mystical and Spiritual Journeys must begin with but one
step.
Writing my comics series books is about as easy as writing a new version of the Gospel.
It is my own Gospel. I do like writing about the Gospel more than I used to lately. Show
business is such a sinful medium. Considering the Trinity of my heritage, especially
when one looks at it from a spiritual and ethical context, other than Dino of Moral Orel, I
dont think [adult swim] cares much for shows that focus on religion, or that question or
contextualize it, even if it is putting it in mythological terms.

An ongoing saga, if it takes the form of animation like Gundam and Dragonball, has
numerous beginnings, numerous middles, and numerous ends. But the outer
structure, the big picture, only has one of each of those things. And one must also
figure out where the story pauses and resumes, whether its for a commercial
intermission, a scene transition, or the end of an episode. Ive got to study my TV
series on DVD to better understand this formula of narrative timing and rhythm.
If I look at it a certain way, the premise conceptualizing phase feels as though it is
coming to a close, leaving room for either
A) Generating new concepts for Season 2,
Or
B) Developing Storyboards and First Draft Scripts for the first season (Season 1) of
Parallax. Even Im surprised I got this far. Needs more action and drama though.
A lot of it is really thinly veiled plot and story. Its still pretty good though, in
terms of the concept, and in terms of the narrative evolution and rhythm.

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So Im currently left with 2 choices:

A) Invent the conceptualization for a potential and optional Season 2, which would
follow Season 1, where Id be more experienced, confident, comfortable, and in
my element.
Or
B) Bring Season 1 further into reality, by expanding, manifesting, and realizing the
concept I already have for Season 1, and make Season 1 a reality, at least in terms
of the potential future stack of 26 scripts Im developing and writing.. Im finally
getting the hang of developing and generally working on my own narrative, and
creative storytelling project. Few things are more enjoyable than working on
something that actually has the potential to be a fully realized concept.

If Im really, truly able to at some point develop an assembly line style formula, I might
even be able to make it all the way up to 50/60 to 100+ 30-minute long
scripts/screenplays, which would give me one mega killer portfolio. Im trying not to
think too much of the whole compensation and money thing. That would just
intimidate and slow me down, and make it that much more difficult to maintain focus if a
silly thing like money and payments were involved in my thought process as of this time.

Screenwriting 101: How to Write a Real Screenplay (TV and Movies)

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Start writing a 26 pg. to 120 pg. screenplay

Finish formatted and revised screenplay
Submit screenplay query to agent
Hear a Yes.
Continue to oversee development of script
Watch the script come to life on screen
Begin career

Hmm. With the closer I get to realizing my vision, as a result, the more and more the
context of the writings in this journal are beginning to sound like a showbusiness or
media website and/or mainstream magazine with each passing day! Im really starting to
sound like the international, mainstream, powerful and successful Hollywood player Ive
always wanted to be! Im sounding more and more exactly like the person Ive always
had ambitions of becoming. I understand the screenwriting and Hollywood process better
than most already, but one day Im going to learn so much about the process from behind
the scenes Ill know even more than all that!

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By now, YouTube has the worlds largest video viewing audience in the world. There are
more times YouTube videos have been viewed than there are people living in this world,
which is to say over 6 billion video views. YouTube is a revolutionary online
phenomenon, and Im proud and honored to say I was able to contribute anime and
animation videos and content to something that worldwide and big. Currently, the 2006
YouTube and Google Acquisition is the biggest thing Ive ever been a part of, directly or
indirectly.
The secret to succeeding in the mainstream:
Lets start with my small percentage of YouTubes success. My site is most successful
and embraced when people dont perceive it as intruding or overbearing. In any other
place or site, I come across as overbearing or imposing. Thats a big no-no in the world
of media fame. True entrepreneurial auteurs are able to dissolve into the background,
while still witnessing whats happening and being aware of whats going on. Plus the
understructure of my online residence is a humble one. I never say or do too much,
especially recently, and I never interfere directly with the people who have a desire to
watch my video, even the ones who leave me comments. Especially the ones who leave
me comments. The comments speak for themselves, especially on a place like YouTube.
No one leaves me any comments on DA, but on YT, they leave tons of comments. I
currently have 150 comments people have posted on my website, with most of them
being for Gorillaz videos
This just proves that it is possible to be big and mainstream without being too imposing,
intimidating, or intrusive.

Considering returning to my favorite school, AiFL at some point. Should be fun and
educational.
I mean, if I went back, would it be all that different from the first time I went, I mean not
in terms of my behavior, but in terms of what the school itself is like. Its probably the
same.
Mostly, I want to return so I can meet new people, network, and get to hang out with
people closer to me in both personality and age. Being around other creative people is a
powerful thing for me. I completely forgot to network last time I was there. The first time
I was there, all I did was goof off and flirt with girls. I think things have changed for me
so this time its strictly business, not as much fun.
With the older I get, the more I want to receive a better education. Since my desire is to
be a screenwriter and maybe storyboard and comic book artist, it might help receiving a
degree in the media and animation process in general

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Parallax Texts

If my initial 24-episode run pilot series of Parallax takes off and succeeds with
fans and audiences, then Im planning on doing one of all of the following things,
at some point upon completion of the final drafts of most of my debut series
episodes:

Comic Books, Anime, Manga, and Literary Science-Fantasy Novel Spin-Offs and
Tangentially Related Spin-Off, and Parallax Universe series of various sorts,
written, drawn, produced, designed, and directed by other people supervised by
me, producer.

A Potential 1-Season 26 Episode Prequel Series to the First Season 1: PreApocalypse Timeline, to show what the ancestors of the main cast did and how
the characters are all deeply interlinked over numerous generations in history,
both past, present, and future. It would answer a lot more as yet motivational and
personal questions the characters have about themselves and the world and
society they live in.

2nd and 3rd Seasons to expand upon the potential popularity of the first Debut
Season. Maybe other seasons as well.

Licensing Merchandise: Video Games (Role Playing, First Person Shooter, SideScroller, Fighting., Tee shirts, Wall Posters, DVDs, Soundtracks (Metal,
Symphonic, Hip-Hop- Strings, Techno).

Anime and Co-Pro Mono cinema anthologies, for people with world and
international animation tastes.

A potential Hollywood Movie, if Hollywood is Interested in cashing in on

Adaptations of Parallax of Course

All this production work will be sponsored and managed partially through my
independent media and filmmaking studio, Thunder-Lighting Productions .

Im gonna ride this cash cow money train just as far as it will take me. After all, I never
said I WOULDNT Cash out and go the George Lucas route. Licensing on Parallax could
easily turn me into a multimillionaire. Just doing one show can easily result in six figures.
I can only imagine what licensing might do to help me.
But if this takes off, will my current YouTube and Webcomics Nationand my
Spindackhandle get buried?? Those are already pretty big if Im being brutally honest.
Maybe I can tie them into my brand somehow, like doing an original content YouTube
page when I can get compensated for, like Manga Entertainment, Pixar, or Gonzo and
other big name official YouTube sites. Ive got plenty of history and experience with
YouTube, so my involvement would probably be hands on, if I can work out a deal

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through my media studio company as such. Maybe I could direct or produce some inhouse commercials and short films, like Tim Burton with that one music video, or Sean
Akins w/ the Toonami creative directing commercials production house. And I could also
team up with Adult Swim too! But really, having my own studio just means I have to be
smarter strategically, logistically, and business wise, and that theres more paperwork to
fill out. To say nothing of my companys logo appearing on the tail end of the credits.

Currently watching: Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

For the first time, I might add. Just what did happen to Anakin Skywalker between then
and the Darth Vader era anyway? The Clone Wars television series can only cover so
much. The TV show (the one being made now on CN anyways) never explores the
Anakin-to-Darth Jedi-to-Dark-Side transition period. Its entertaining though. Very
entertaining.
Im also watching a History Channel Documentary on Knights of some kind.
Current Mood: Mythological
Current Job: Writing the Scripts, Screenplays, Scriptures, or Script-ures of Parallax. Its
called an animated series bible for a reason. My nickname for the scripts are Scripture.
If The Series Bible is the visual design elements of World Building, then the Literary
Bible, or Scripture is the Literary and Content Elements.

The dynamic of my entire career debut is riding on how well I can draw a sword fight. I
need to draw swordfights like a True Samurai-Knight Jedi would, if he were Yuen WooPing. My combat style is Funimation pioneer series like DBZ and Yu Yu Hakusho and
Samurai Champloo meets Jedi light saber fights meets Yuen Woo-Ping and Shaw Bros. I
need to study and copy these verbatim to develop my own on-page compositional
weapon and hand-to-hand combat style. I need to think like a Street Fighter Arcade Game
Designer. Words and synthetic analogies can only convey this energy so much. The rest
is up to my pencil and pens.
IMHO, the Japanese are incredibly good and efficient at what they do in some ways, but
they still have yet to beat us in two ways: Storytelling-Literature, and Military Science.
Theyre definitely still catching up to us in that area.
In Big Business, people generally only copy me and use desperation tactics and act all
psycho when they either A) Losing business, or B) Going out of business, and they want
someone (me) to pin all their own shortcomings, blame, and inefficient employment and
work methods on.

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Dangerous Content theyll sue you with:

Anime
Nicktoons
Hollywood films
Fansubs
Scanlations
Things they wont, Legally Ambivalent:
Retrojunk.com (Maybe, lots of work)
Toonami Arsenal (No)
Adult Swim Forever (No)
Mostly crappy ass original content (No)
Web animation (Maybe, too much work)
Storyboards (probably not, too much work to get in the way)
Online Comics (Maybe, Too much work)
Banners (Maybe, easy)
Googleshare (yes, sort of manageable)
Prose (Maybe, easy in some ways, at some times)
Acquisitions and mergers (yes, but $ is required)
Current mood: Irate and disgruntled.
My family is having another earth shattering screaming competition. This is their normal
way of communicating.

Something tells me if I went back to re-attend AiFL, it wouldnt end up being socially
disastrous like it was the first time around. Two times the charm IMO. Who knows, it
might even prove to be a good place to meet friends and network with like minded
creatives. Way better and more cultured than the uncreative ones Im around in
Casselberry. The Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale probably has a lot of future friends who
I could network with one day. Just because their not professional yet, but still talented,
isnt a reason to avoid them. I like the idea of networking and making friends in Ft.
Lauderdale.

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Chapter 18

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June, 2010,

I finally finished reading one of my new favorite semi-academic and scholarly books
written on the subject of Asian Action Cinema:
The Asian Influence on Hollywood Action Films
Asian Ingenuity and Creativity are where the power is.
Asian cinema is where the power is
Noir and Architecture and Fight Choreography are where the power is.
Im where the power is. Im in Asian Cinema

Part of the reason Middle America is so turned off by urban culture and rap / hip-hop
music, as well as metal music is not because its all bad music, like many will tell you.
Some of it is very good music in my humble opinion. But the thing is, when youre
dealing with metal and rapnot hip-hop mind you, but rapyoure dealing with
territories of music that become entire lifestylesprimarily youth-based lifestylesand
especially with raplifestyles that can at times involve death, drugs, destruction,
weapons, pornography, amorality, and gangs, and just sex and violence in general. Hiphop, the best kind, is mainstream enough where its considered safer or at least safe
enough to listen to and enjoy just the way it should be, to be appreciated as an art form
without you having to get sucked into the lifestyle.

Ive found a new genre (to me) that I want to study, practice in, and master, and that is
Hong Kong-style action filmmaking. I want to become just as much of an expert on Hong
Kong action cinema as I am with anime and manga. No small task.

Classic Western Comics:

Moebius
Winsor McCay

I have begun studying Sino-Japanese relations for a very crucial reason. It is a place
where there can be much harmony and peace in the future, given enough time to heal in
the future. There is much unrest and animosity between Sino and Japanese culture and
nations to this very day, and it disturbs me to see unrest and animosity in what is
otherwise such a peaceful region as of late. Where else could my Healing powers be put
to use to restore lost relations. Im also interested in Sino-America and Arab-American
relations. Japan already is a good American ally for the most part. Im a healer. I heal

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things. That includes racism and prejudice. I suppose I got that desireto bring peace to
the worldfrom my biological father. I sense a wounded heart in the nations of Asia and
Southeast Asia when I think of contemporary unrest in Sino-Japanese relations. Some
might view me as a meddler, but at least Im meddling in affairs that matter and affect the
world on a deep spiritual level. I believe in Zen-Generation Diplomacy. The only politics
I believe in on an international level are the politics of diplomacy, tolerance, negotiations,
harmony, love, and peace.

Frankly, Im not the biggest fan of Western, and in some cases Eastern, otaku in the
anime industry. In terms of Japanese culture and history, their knowledge about Japan
and Asia in general hardly extends beyond knowledge of Japans manga and anime
industry. Hardly ever does an otaku know anything about generalist Japanese history,
humanity, and culture on a level deeper than anime and its exported consumer product
market. This represents a generation of superficial otaku, it feels like something that
appreciates the surface illusion anime and manga create as an industry, and nothing more,
nothing beyond or behind it, hiding behind it. There is no deeper support for animes and
mangas home turf, Tokyo, Japan, so to speak.

Been tending to and looking after the Hesses house, and their giant pet turtle while
theyre away. So far its been a successful responsibility of mine. The Hesses are
longtime friends of me and my family. Id cross an ocean for them if they asked me to.
Theyre some of my all time favorite neighbors. No one living here recently is even close
to them in terms of how good our fellow family relationship is. The turtles name is
Tortoise. Very simple name, but the turtle is so friendly for a turtle! Their backyard is
so big, downhill, and forest-like.
Fun With New Media Tutorials
Tutorial Lesson Product Ideas:

How to burn DVDs

How to rip DVDs to Windows Media Video and your hard drive with Magic
DVD Ripper
How to author a DVD with WMV and Quicktime footage

Even though I am as big as they come on many levels, Im not really allowed to say the
obvious anymore. Wish I could, but when I did that, every time I did it, it would make
people act greedy, defensive, confrontational, inclined towards carnage and basically
stupid. The thing is, once you become a player, youre no longer allowed to tell the truth.
Success by its very nature forces one to be deceptive and lie to the masses.
Up till this point, all of my speech and phrasing here has been very obvious, Ive held
very little back and tried to conceal very little.

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It took me a while, but Ive come to realize it. My art is one of my strongest powers,
other than my technological/analytical/abstract/linguistic ingenuity, power of creation
(4/22 reference), vision, and my physical form. My art by now has gotten so much
exposure through the media and other artistsboth talented and hack artistscopying
from it and imitating it and being influenced by it that its now basically like a detonated
bomb. Every time I activate that area of my brain, draft something up in a laborious
process, or unleash the beast so to speak, its like a large fiery explosion. It causes a lot
of noise, demolishes lesser opponents, and generally garners a lot of media attention
every time I add a piece to the mosaic, which is how Otomo describes it. Well said.
Bottom line, I can control what goes into my art with great precision in most regards, but
I cant control what comes out of it once its been committed to the page. That kind of
outward power is impossible to control because it involves the society around me in
general and their choices of actions. In a way, being an artist of my caliber is like being a
dynamite manufacturer. I can only watch the impact of my handiwork from a distance,
its so explosive.
Ive already noticed and become well aware of the explosiveness of my creative impact
on society. Very Kurt Cobain like in some ways, except Im pretty sure I dont want to
kill myself. Not anymore anyway.

I should go all Dave Sim and George Lucas or Spielberg or Stephen King style
and unleash wave after wave of prolific high energy coliseums of impact, with it
being so influential to the point of it actually being dangerous due to the fact that
people might react rashly and with blatant aggression?

Mania must be acting up again. Im feeling enormous amounts of power and energy
surging through my body, my being. I feel like I could work well beyond the Japanese
level of workaholism (12 hour days or 24 hour days) and still do fine, still achieve
Herculean feats of work, power, energy, discipline, self-discipline, creativity, prolificacy,
and general productivity. When Im like this I can literally make the Impossible Possible,
I have so much power. Mania gives me such power, or makes me feel like I have such an
enormous amount of power over the world and civilization. I like this energy level. Its a
natural high. Me without depression or lethargy = a lot of Herculean power on the page
and screen.
I feel like the Black Trenchcoat Master. Few people in the art world, in America can
draw silhouette, black overlap, Notan style trenchcoats as well as me. The only ones who
can really compete with me in that area, in terms of detail and quality are Todd
McFarlane, Frank Miller, and Southeast Asian artists from Tokyo and Korea.
Im also buying an Evil Eye Charm.

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Im not planning on it, but, seriously, if I died, what would become of the web 2.0?

Adobe products to buy:

For video making: Premiere Elements
For web design: Dreamweaver

It just occurred to me. As a psychological defense mechanism against my own personal

stress and trauma, for I dont know how long, Ive often, almost obsessively and
unconsciously resorted to the psychological defense mechanism known as projection. I
project the best, worst, and most similar qualities of myself onto other people and just
about all the people who I come into contact with, whether its by direct interaction or
indirect eavesdropping in the media. Other people do a lot of projecting on me as well.
Im not sure whos doing it the most. Its a passive-aggressive way of addressing various
elements of my psyche in a semi-epic manner.
The Amazing Positive Projections (people I see myself in and always have, in one
way or another): Sean Akins, Todd McFarlane, Syd Mead, Tim Burton, Bill Gates,
Ted Turner, Dave Sim, Jhonen Vasquez, John Lasseter, Peter Cullen, Shinji Kasai, Tim
Berners-Lee, The Dalai Lama, Barack Obama, Eminem, Tool, Primus, Manga-Ka,
Katsuhiro Otomo, Osamu Tezuka, Naruto, YouTube, Bruce Timm, Jean-Paul Sartre,
Buddha, Spielberg, George Lucas, Yuen Woo-Ping, Michael Moorcock, Isaac Asimov,
Steve Blum, Ken Wilber, Corey Senderov Jackson, Yoshiyuki Tomino, Steve Purcell,
Yasuhiro Nightow.
Fuck all that shit I said before. I AM these people. Everything good Ive said about them
before I really probably meant about myself in the back of my mind. Even the ones I
worshipped as heroes. Theyre still good and amazing and all that, but if Im speaking
honestly, the truth is they represent the ideals and the best things I see in myself when
Im at my best.

From now on, Im closing up shop at 11 oclock at night. Im going to bed at 11 p.m. at
night. That is when Im calling it a night: At 11, give or take a few hours every so often.
There aint no mommy or daddy to tuck me in anymore, so its up to me to organize my
bed at night.

Development: A Spiritual Quest

Concepts like evolution and conceptual art fascinate and captivate me for long periods of
time. In terms of film, anime, manga, comics, and Hollywood, and animated series, the
development process in fantasy storytelling is one of my, if not the, most enjoyable
aspects of production. Theres something about the magic trick of making something

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manifest out of thin air. Its literally a real life magic trick. Ive spent 6+ years (20042010 and beyond) on the development process of my Mono concept, not because I
needed to, or because I disliked the rest of the process, but rather because I guess I just
like the conceptualizing and development process of comics, film, anime, and animation
that much. Developing speculative ventures, like Monos world and YouTube, is not
just a profession for me. It tends to take me longer because its just as much a hobby as
anything else.

JM Site is Up
The new website is up, and its running quite smoothly. With a few small setbacks here
and there, it looks to be shaping up to be a fairly decent place to visit. Perhaps even better
than WCN. Not sure yet really. But it does give me more freedom.

While I am easily discouraged, I am not so easily encouraged or empowered when it

comes to new ventures. Im really only confident when someone close to me encourages
me to pursue something in accordance with good will on their part alone. All my big
ventures Im taking on today, essays, comics, web design, publishing, manga, art,
literature, journals, writing books, are the result of someoneeither a close friend in my
early life or an authority figure or parent or family member in my early lifeencouraging
me at an early age. I dont respond well to negative criticism, especially zealous negative
criticism(s). The Brians of the world and whatnot. Im not that courageous, and Im
actually very easily discouraged. And whenever someone really drills me, I have been
known to go on the defensive.

Linguistic Precision
Im definitely able to wield the power and weapon of words with very high amounts of
precision. I often know exactly what kind of effect my words are going to have, whether
on a random person or on the media in general. Ive had plenty of time to practice my
word precision with computers. Words are my precision system. Just like art books are
my precision system as well. Imitators never have the kind of precision my work does.
Shame to watch them blow it every time. It really is.
Its a big thing to me to make my word usage precise. And so far nearly everything Ive
saidthat wasnt said by someone elsehas been incredibly precise. Rarely do my
words miss their mark. I love having precision. Knowing I affected just the right person
or people at just the right time. Not everyone has this gift.
Thats yet another reason I like Hong Kong Kung-Fu, wire fu, John Woo gun-fu, Yuen
Woo-Ping and Shaw Brothers films, because when theyre combat of attacks make

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contact, and it often does, its almost always a precision blow, a precision strike. With
traditional Western action filmmaking, theres no precision for the most part unless its a
sniper. Just a lot of hard swinging and clumsy motion. Asian cinema has precision, and
lots of it. I aim to make my action scenes not just dynamic, but filled with precision. Its
more powerful that way. Its not just swords and guns Mono is wielding. Its weapons of
accuracy and precision. Mono can fire off 20 50 rounds of his hand guns in the shooting
range, all without missing the bulls-eye. If thats not precision engineering, I dont know
what is.
The NT Rational Mind, especially the engineers like the Inventor and Architect, like and
enjoy making everything they do in their work precise. Often, Ive given up on some of
my sloppier pre-production drawings because they werent precise enough. The precision
of their execution was not up to par with my normal standards. Its an INTP/NT/22
Master Builder thing If I can get a drawing / comic book page of sequential art
regardless of the method I used to attain the looklook exactly the way I want it to, then
my precision goal has not failed. As a matter of fact, its succeeded in many ways, in my
small opinion.

Favorite TV Networks:
Cartoon Network
Adult Swim
Ani-Mondays
SyFy
PBS
CW4Kids
Ovation
Qubo
Channels I dont really see pulling a TechTV and getting any stupider: SyFy, Ovation,
PBS.
Channels I DO see pulling a TechTV and getting stupiderby quite a lot: Cartoon
Network, Adult Swim, CW4Kids, Disney XD

Good visuals and good story. Can one have a movie that has good visuals without good
story? Can one have good story without good visuals? I propose an answer of No, you
cant.
Good storytelling, good narration and visual narration, and good visual storytelling, all
require superb story and plot, even if its only dialogue, inciting incident, or
backstory.
Going back a moment, I wrote:

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Should I work at a slow pace and use it in limited amounts and sparingly, only
being able to create small increments of raw ability and progress?

Or, should I go all Dave Sim and George Lucas or Spielberg or Stephen King
style and unleash wave after wave of prolific high energy coliseums of impact,
with it being so influential to the point of it actually being dangerous due to the
fact that people might react rashly and with blatant aggression?

In other words, do I want to write a haiku, or an epic poem? Or both? I have the
ability to do virtually either of those.

Made my decision. I want the second one. Im going to be a virtuoso type author. Im
going to have my output be virtuosic, regardless how much some people want to
manipulate the media, my allies will keep me safe.

Science isnt just a foundation, and art. Its also entertainment for the intellectual.
Over the last 10 years, Ive received a lot of praise for my innovative design and
development skills from the media, which is always nice. I like deference. I like when
people ask me Howd you do that? I like when people mythologize what I do as one
big magic trick. I dont know why I enjoy that view of myself by other people exactly. I
just know I do enjoy it.
This journal, or Manifesto is really nothing more than a means to an end, henceforth
making writing in here the means, and my literary career the ends.
Means = work, method, effort put in, energy put in, process, practice
End = result, reward, money, goal, end game
Ive forgotten that writing in my Commentary, or Journal, is nothing more than a
means to an end. If all this work Ive put in isnt applied toward a practical goal, like
writing a screenplay, drawing comics, or writing a TV series or comic book, all this work
Ive put into practicing and day dreaming in word processor form means nothing. I cant
forget, this is just playing around. Its goofing off. Im not doing actual work right now as
I write this. Im just writing for the pure joy of it, writing to hone the precision of my
words, writing to improve through training. Writing to make something out of nothing.
But most of all, writing to adjust to fiction writing, none of which I have done here in
these folders yetbut I will.
Places where my discipline is the strongest:

Getting distracted (scatterbrained, browsing)

Writing in the Commentary Journal
Eating to gain weight
DVD Ripping

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Web design

Places where my discipline is the weakest:

DVD Burning
Painting with Acrylics
Writing Fiction
Screenwriting
Drawing storyboards,
Drawing thumbnails, and comics panels
Sketching with a pencil and pen
Writing novels
Watching full movies and series

The reason I have so much discipline in writing in my journal and eating is because it
comes as naturally and as easily to me as breathing. Sometimes it even lessens my pain if
Im having any. Its free therapy, talking to myself with words printed on a screen. Art
only wishes it could be that therapeutic and unconsciously intuitive. Maybe it will be one
day, if I ever stop writing about it.

The Hollywood Celebrity Superstar System and the Criminal Justice System do not
exactly go well together. One is perfect, one is infinitely flawed, both in societies eyes.
One gets cheers, one gets jeers. One is sexy, one is ugly. One you cant get enough of,
one you cant get away from fast enough. The internet sometimes tries to force the two to
mingle, even with unsubstantiated evidence or a sensible alibi half the time.
How aerial acrobatics are animated or filmed in anime. Its a bunch of really brief
camera shots are filmed and spliced together into a screen time that makes up for less
than a second. There are at least 4-5 major camera angle shifts or more per second in the
more dynamic anime. This technique is very affective for capturing intense aerial fights
or motion where characters are falling or flying through the sky.
BEHOLD the power of my ocean of words!

In terms of an ends (after a means) raw power inherited through private hard work of
power is not enough of a point of satisfaction to me. Just sitting there or lying in bed,
relishing in, and bathing in my power in place, just sitting on my ass and doing nothing,
just resting on my laurels and being idlebut nonetheless still feeling powerfulwhile
watching TV, reading or whateverisnt enough power to spiritually satisfy me. To b e
completely stimulated and have spiritual fun with power, I need that goose bumpinducing feeling awe, vastness, precision, and wonder. I like the final illusion of power as
manifested on a page or computer / or / TV screen, not the embodiment of it in my idle
social status. Creating powerful movement is another form of Ultimate Power for me.
Just sitting around, knowing myself and my work is powerful, just having that aura about

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me, is not enough for me. I often forget I have such vast amounts of power at my
disposal. Unless I get the opportunity to see my power in full on action, it does really feel
like actual power to me, it feels like boredom. Its hard to acknowledge that all elements
of my being and body contain large amounts of power, even when they do. Mania and
anger are the only two emotional states that literally make me feel my power and the
energy of my power.

There is one hurdle standing in my way to drawing more often. If I draw anything
cinematic or illustrative whatsoever, guess who nearly always shows up whenever I do.
The clones. The Danny Phantoms and Aaron Stones of the world, all ripped directly off
of my Mono Jubei character universe. Id be more flattered by their imitation if it wasnt
so cheaply done and if it wasnt trying to profit off of my market loss. Im gonna get over
this hurdle somehow. Its like Bruce Lee Brucesploitation all over again, except this
time its comics and animation, and Im still alive.
The line between who works exclusively in comics and who specifically works
exclusively in animation is becoming less clear and distinct. Todd McFarlane, Japanese
manga-ka, Jhonen Vasquez, Kevin Smith, and Bruce Timm, have helped make the dual
function of animation-comics creator-artist all the more popular. And now its even more
popular than ever. Theres even a magazine devoted to this field of playing a dual-role.
The magazine is called DRAW! I might subscribe to it actually.

Short Story
Samurai Tales: Mono Jubei
Chapter I:
Mono sat at his office desk, contemplating his next move. He considered going to the inhouse dojo to train, but thought better of it, when his eye stumbled across the pile of
paperwork he had to do. More contracts to extend his employment, more dossiers he had
to look over. Mono was just getting so tired of it. He his eye kept being drawn to his
reflective katana, resting, mounted in its holster on his office wall, in times when he was
called in for action. It also gave him a pervading sense of comfort. It was also a magic
sword, designed specifically to not only kill, but also repel demon creatures of this realm
and beyond, so its presence above the ground brought Mono Jubei some sort of comfort
he couldnt fully explain. It was like a nightlight in form of a magic sword designed to be
a talisman. The other thing in Monos office that kept drawing his eye to it was the
ancient copy of Bushido which had been passed down to him by sensei-Lung. Mono
picked up his partially deteriorated copy and began to thumb through it.
(Bushido Quote)

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The case files for Monos current assignment were particularly disturbing. They involved
graphic evidence of violent torture and aggressive mutilation. All in the name of a higher
power.
The End
Filmmakers Commentary: Basically, this could prove to be a real evolutionary step, a
real turning point. My desire to work with Mono is now so great that his life is actually
creeping into my daily journal entries. My mental concentration techniques must be
working. Cary is leaving tomorrow to go to a funeral, probably before Ill be awake. That
will probably be interesting.

Drew 12 panels worth of storyboards and created my own official domain name.
Jmstrebler.com. It already has my essays and bio on it, and its going to have my gallery
there as well, just as soon as I get the software.

I just got the most interesting literary short story anthology in the mail: A collection of
short stories about life after The End of The World that was a book published in 2008.
Wastelands: Stories of The Apocalypse arrived in the mail today from Amazon, along
with my Evil Eye talisman. Stephen King is one of the short story contributors. Even he
is compelled by this topic: fantasy as it relates to The Apocalypse. The Editors name is
John Joseph Adams. Nice name . Its not just the stories and words and literature that
are superb and good. The cover art of an Apocalyptic Wasteland landscape by illustrator
Daniel Kvasznicza is mind-boggling as well.
On the subject of The Apocalypse, in 2010 alone there were over 5 movies with a dark,
bleak apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic backdrop:

Legion
The Book of Eli
Daybreakers
Terminator:Salvation
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
2012

Im not keeping score per say, like a rabid Giants fan (aka Carl), but that is a pretty big
slate for 1 year, and thats only so far.
Post-Apocalyptic fiction, science-fiction, fantasy, horror, science-fantasy, and dark
fantasy or power fantasy and bleak fantasy, seems to be slowlyor in this case
quickly expanding outward from sub-genre to what may perhaps one day be a full on
genre.

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Im definitely one of the fatter Chinese-Americans out there. I weigh 100 lbs. less than
the official worlds fattest Asian man, a 440 lb. 26 year old Chinese man. Just further
proof I need to shed many dozens of pounds.
I do consider Conan, Elric, Jedi Mythos-Lore, Lord of the Rings, and Wuxia films of the
60s to be right up there with King Arthur and the Three Musketeers, in terms of their
swashbuckling visuals. Some call wuxia Heroic Bloodshed, but in a way its all a very
swashbuckling genre. Who would have ever thought the End Times could be so
dynamic and swashbuckling. Kind of funny.
Like it or not, its my job to set the world standard, even if I feel unpopular with the incrowd online most of the time, and less influential from the really cool guys. And like it
or not, I am setting an example for other artists who follow the path I have chosen for
myself. That is the nature of innovation. The more innovative you are, the more appeal
your act has, the most major players and Average Joes alike will copy you, and copy
from you, some might say plagiarize you and rip you off. But you dont really become
aware of these kinds of things unless youre officially closer to the very top of the
hierarchy.
In my invisible rulebook, the more pure action or combat, and vivid description and
emotional energy a scene has, the harder that scene is to write, at all, let alone write
successfully. I get tripped up on transitioning between dialogue, description,
emotions, and actions at times. Its the transitioning and rhythm of the narration
that gets to me. Thats not to say Im not able to write it. Its just to say it takes a
larger amount of concerted effort.
The most popular modern pop culture artist and designer in the world is either Walt
Disney, John Lasseter Todd McFarlane, Frank Miller, Jhonen Vasquez, Katsuhiro
Otomo, or Musashi Kishimoto. Or all of them.
The criteria an artist must meet to make this, my, list? Easy: Social and media
popularity and coverage, fame, fan popularity, cultural relevance, commercial
success, profitability, influence, how much they changed their respective medium(s),
raw creative and artistic skill, raw name dropping mileage, facetime, and versatility.
If they dont meet all, or at least most of these criteria, they dont get on the list.
Im mostly drawing comics, webcomics, manga, and webmanga, because Im hoping it
will eventually create a pathway for me to step through and get my foot in the door of
animation, anime, co-production, and cinematic-television animation
There, I finally said it in my manifesto. And it only took me 10 whole years to admit Im
doing comics primarily it leading to an eventual job in television animation and anime.
Co-productions, storyboarding, screenwriting, production design, character design, and
all that. In a way, all I really want to do is get the chance and opportunity to work
successfully on the next Spawn, Boondocks, Invader Zim, Loonatics Unleashed, Avatar,
Star Wars Clone Wars, and/or Generator Rex. I adore those shows, and long to be in

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charge of my own show of that style, except I get to do it my own way. Like they always
say, do your own thing. And yes, Comics offers filmmaking and creative fulfillment
career opportunities, but frankly, it usually doesnt pay the bills unless your Todd
McFarlane. If Im being blunt, the only thing I really want to do is get put in charge of
my own show by a network at some point. If Barack Obama can run the world, I can sure
as hell run a little old show. Its destiny. What? I love television. Im not going to lie and
say Ive never thought about it, or comics are my one and only amibition. I wanna
work in TV. That is my ultimate dream. I got a taste of it with AnimeTV what with them
putting my name in the credits of the episodes I contributed to, and it being a TV Show,
but I still want more.
My Mono comic books are my chance to execute my version of John Woo Le Samouraiinspired films, Invader Zim, Akira the comic book, Sin City, George Lucas Star Wars,
Tarantinos style, and Yuen Woo-Ping films. I want to do not so much something
completely made up, but my own version of what I value about those films, in comic
book form.
Dont ever trust or put up with those who insult you, play mind games, or who try to
undermine or criticize your authority, if you are in a position of authority.

After more than a decade and a half of searching, Ive finally found my own artistic and
comic book design style. Its very much my own, and very much the first of its kind.
Much like Tarantino and the Wachowskis a lot of the influence I take from other
storytellers comes from overseas, mostly Asia. Asians arent always the best a plots, but
they are the best at telling a truly good story in an incredibly dynamic way. In terms of
actual story-telling, the best pure quality filmmakers and story-tellers, in terms of Asian
cinema, are Akira Kurosawa, Osamu Tezuka, Katsuhiro Otomo, and John Woo. Theyre
not just good and iconic Asian filmmakers and the most influential in the world: Theyre
the best. The only other storytellers in the world who come anywhere close, are Walt
Disney, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Quentin Tarantino, Stephen King, and Todd
McFarlane, with Bruce Timm, Peter Jackson, and Jhonen Vasquez bringing up the tail.
Ive read things in the media about there being a stigma against American creators in the
manga world. But the truth is, theyre completely ignoring the original stigma in
America against not only Japanese comics and animation (or anime and manga), but also
an entire stigma in America against Japanese creators and anything Japanese made as
well. The only reason there is so much reverse stigma (stigma against American creators
and artists) is because the original stigma against Japan has subsided to begin with. If
fans werent discriminating against American creators, which is the new fad and trend
with some in anime and manga, those same white people would still be hating on the
Japanese, like they did when anime wasnt considered cool in America, like in the early
and mid 90s. Truth is, until there actually is some sort of officially made and greenlit
American made manga and anime, made by one or more American artist-creators, theres

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always going to be stigma and prejudice against someone. It just happens to be against
Tokyopop OEL manga right now.

Im not a big fan of showing off my hardcore abstract development stuff. That stuff is for
my eyes only mostly. Im generally only a fan of showing off my most cleaned up pieces.
Like my black bleak cloth drawings.

I feel like Ive almost mastered clothing and drapery. That and negative space, or the
color black. Im extremely happy with the detail level of my current style. I think Ive
finally found the beginning of my professional style.
By now, assuming Im using reference material, I can now truly make up art that is
occasionally at an international level of design and draftsmanship

Ive come to realize, being part British, part Arab, and part Chinese isnt a mental
illness. Its not immoral. Its not a sin. Its not a sickness. Its not a disease. Its
not communist. Its not pro-terrorist. Its not illegal or wrong. Its not evil. Not
in the United States anyway. It just is, and people should really just deal with it instead of
living in their patriotic non-racial fantasy worlds.
I realize that if someone more racially proud were in my shoes, I suspect they might
attempt to make a big deal out of it. But I never have until just recently. I have numerous
features that make me stand out: My glasses. My clothing. My hair. My face and ficial
structure. My body type, or weight. My nose. And my skin color. Until now Ive only
look at the inside of myself and other people. And yet no one ever seems to treat me with
the same courtesy I give them of using my psychic abilities to not only disregard their
appearance and look past the surface, but I actually make the effort to read some peoples
souls. And yes, I can sense evil.

Just finished adding comics to my website. Theyre Mono website comics, or

webcomics.
The capabilities are there to do a Notan Frank Miller-like version of Star Wars. A Star
Wars shot-per-shot movie based neo-noir version of Star Wars in storyboard, comics
format. But no one but me seems to want to do it yet.
Just like with Star Wars, Pixar, and Spawn, just like when no one saw the values of
computers for filmmaking, digital animation, and the value of independent comics, I
cant help but feel like Im doing something similar with webcomics and fantasy. No one
currently really sees the artistic, economic, or commercial value of comic books
published in website form yet either. Parallax could make me the George Lucas and
Quentin Tarantino of contemporary webcomics.

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As far as webcomics go, most people dont look at them as a business. Probably because
most of the time they arent in terms of artistry, marketing, and design.
I have yet to find out if Id make a good director or producer. But I am aware I have the
potential to become a filmmaker of the page.
The Japanese filmmaking market is considered so advanced and further ahead of us in
traditional 2D animation, that if an American recaptures and re-represents the Japanese
design style at a level anywhere near the Japanese one, thats still considered a huge
innovation in America, even when its clich in Japan for one reason: Many Americans
dont know how the Japanese technique works. Its such a secret that if any American
figures it out, thats considered a big deal in the United States.
The Most Difficult Elements to Draw in Animation (according to the top studio)

Humans
Hair
Fabric
Architecture
Effects

Its too bad CN is so obnoxiously smug and doesnt like to challenge themselves with
innovative creators most of the time. If you look at the official unofficial list of the
things in television animation that are the most difficult subject matter to draw, none of
the content of their daytime programmingand most of the content of their nighttime
programmingthe vast majority of what they do is too terrified of attempting anything
on that list. The list of creative challenges that have stumped animators and animation
producers for over a century, not counting the ones in Japan. Most corporations dont like
to challenge themselves to break that barrier, lay the foundation, and break new ground,
but especially in television animation, where its even more difficult to innovate than in
film.
This is exactly as I feared. Im becoming too successful. My art is falling into the smug
too-much-success burnout syndrome. Ive had a tiny, small, miniscule, taste of fame and
success, and due to my inexperience, I really let it get to me. I mean, seriously, look at
how much its slowed down my animation and comic book production. Ive become
terrified and intimidated of starting again. I think that just because Ive done 2 comic
book pages and a few successful design illustrations that that somehow gives me the right
to A) Never draw anything new, or never draw again in general, or B) Bring my whole
production process to a grinding halt. Ive become HBO animation, or Jhonen, or Bruce
Timm. Im producing less purely because Im overwhelmed by my success. Thats part
of the danger of success that if youre not careful, no one will warn you about. My
success has seduced me in the most deadly manner possible. It is artistic poison. I got
smug and arrogant, and as a result, my art had become stale there for a while.

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Fortunately, that newbie fresh meat success Syndrome seems to have subsided a bit. You
cant let the power, success, fame, pressure, and especially competition scare or
intimidate you out of the desire to compete and continuing to work. One of my main
advantages is that Im already at this level in the public eye at such a young age (26
years). Because no one really knows or says my real full name in the media, I dont have
to worry about being called out by potential competitors and challengers.
In terms of Hollywood and TV animation in the last 10 years, both nationally and
internationally, without falter, and without question, the most profitable genre of the last
20 or so years in Hollywood has been action-adventure. The Star Wars, Avatars, and
Matrixes of the world.
In terms of Hollywood and TV animation in the last 10 years, both nationally and
internationally, without falter, and without question, the most profitable genre of the last
20 or so years in Hollywood, for decades now, ever since George Lucas, has been the
famous genre of action-adventure. Violence, combat, intensity, dynamics: These things
earn a profit and make money! When people think Hollywood and anime, they think
action-adventure. When its done well, that pretty much is one of the new winning
formulas. Comedy and romance are almost all horrible.
Fabric illustrators:
Todd McFarlane
Cybersix
Bruce Timm
George Lucas
Katsuhiro Otomo
Trigun
Jhonen Vasquez
Genndy Tartakovsky

Finished 43 pages of drawings and sketches for July so far. My output has increased in
the last few days. Maybe the internet and Cartoon Network really are bad for you and
slow your work rate down.
Crowded places online, due to how much garbage people can cram into their uploads and
profiles, is now actually starting to feel like crowded places in the real world. Definitely
something to be avoided. Some sites are just crowded and noisy.
I DID IT, I DID IT, I DID IT!!!! I DID IT!!!!
I finally drew a 6 panel rough (but not too rough) comic book page!!!!! 2 to be exact!!!!
Thats 10 panels total. I left 2 panels on my second page blank because I didnt like one
of the thumbnails. But its all thanks to the thumbnails and stock material thats been
piling up in my house. Even my fancy pages in the last three years werent made up on

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the spot. Im finally living my dream. Im a real comic book artist now. Granted a sloppy
one, but that still counts. I did do some warm-up panels early on today, where I copied
some panels out of spawn, but this time the later result of that copying was something
original. Some of the art is weak in certain areas, but overall Im very happy with the
pacing, flow, and rhythm or music that flows from the panels.
Now that Ive conquered the starting element of drawing comic book pages, I can
probably only get better from here on out. A LOT better. A lot less cut-and-pasting from
my sketchbooks, and a lot more on the spot thumbnail-to-panel stuff like what I did
today.

Time for a critique:

In a way, these 2 pages resemble a cross between a storyboard template and digital comic
book panel template. Except I designed the templates myself. Im getting a John Woo,
Spaghetti Western, Tarantino vibe from this book so far. I cant wait to see how future
panels will turn out. Overall, Im very happy with these 10 panels.
On the +:
Good start. Strong composition skills. Good dynamic camerawork. Good guns. Nice use
of oblique angles. Some serious work and training was put into it.

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On the :
Mono and his costume look a bit wishy-washy and flimsy. Anatomy is not very strong.
There are two blank storyboard panels there. More effort and time could have been put
in. Some poses look a bit off. Not really detailed enough in all panels. Some panels look
off and uneven.

Now that the first two relatively easy pages have been drawn, its not necessarily clear
sailing from here on out, but it probably will get easier. Today, July 5th, is the day I
finally lifted myself out of the gutters, out of my rut. I finally started an activity that Ive
been waiting 15 or more years to start, but never got around to: Drawing a comic book
page. And it only took the assistance of a page of small thumbnails to get there. I feel like
I can live again. Id been procrastinating around doing that activityproducing finished
sequential artforever. I feels really, really, really good. No one else really knows why
this achievement is so important to me. But I know, and thats all that concerns me.
Its nice knowing Im not the only artist struggling with drawing and finishing the act of
drawing comic book pages. Its something many artists procrastinate at, fear, and get
intimidated by. Even Jhonen Vasquez himself once told me, Take youre time. Theyre
not easy. And hes already mastered the entire mediums of comics and television
animation! Well, I can take my time that much, otherwise I wont get any work done.
In the next few weeks/days, its going to be time to move onto even more future panels.
Part of my entire secret to succeeding at drawing comic book pages in the first place as of
today was realizing I cant afford to get high or drunk off of my own fame or success. I
have to keep charging ahead, regardless of whether or not anyone wants to actually
follow me or go with me in any way or not.
Unfortunately, by the time my comic book series is completed, even when Ive started
drawing it already, by the time Im 6 (or more) chapters into it, Ill probably have made
so many enemies in the industry no one will want to take my phone calls, emails, or snail
mail submissions. God, I really am turning into Dave Sim, arent I. Everyone loves to
hate Dave Sim. I was afraid this might happen. The minute I start doing the real world, or
what Im supposed to do, everyone suddenly stops paying me any mind. Hey, it happens.
Thats awfully depressing irony.
But I could probably return to WCN any time I wanted, and publish almost anything Id
want to. They do afford you that kind of freedom, regardless of how good or bad it may
be. But when I think about it, by now do I even want to go back to them? Would anyone
even care if my work manifested there again?
Honestly, I feel like with the whole comic book thing, a lot of people, a lot of the fans
were rooting against me, and hoping, maybe even praying that Id never get this far.
Guess I proved a few people wrong.

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By now, Ive realized that it is my destiny to be challenged, fight for my dream, and win.
After many years of fighting a losing battle, one day I win, despite an entire civilization
of opposition, and the fact that every time I open my mouth, someone hiding in the
shadowy background flings shit at me every time I speak. Thats just how my destiny is.
Its doing the more difficult things, in a difficult place, with difficult people. Thats how I
function. I thrive on opposition, difficulty, and setbacks. I like the biggest challenge and
opposition in the world, mostly because of the rewards involved, and the glory at the end
of the road I journey down. Struggle is a spiritual pursuit for me. My obstacle could be
God himself, and Id still murder him if he were in my way. Im not going to be any nicer
to mortal opposition. God is clearly not on my side, but my strength is.
Today, I am at one of my strongest points, ever, purely because of what Ive achieved
and started as of today. I am so going to destroy television as we know it, and rebuild
from the ashes Ive created. Im building us a better television cartoon show.
All anyone around this neighborhood wants to do is yell curse words at me and mock me
whenever I laugh. I refuse to speak to any motherfucker in these parts. Id rather talk to
myself for the rest of my life. At least that would be a conversation worth having.
Some seem to think that Ive reached the end of my journey, the whole drawing comics
thing. But in fact, no, Im nowhere close to finishing this Epic Journey. As a matter of
fact, in my honest opinion, this is just the start. I wont be anywhere near being finished
until I have hundreds more pages modeled after the template Ive created today. 2 down.
2,000 more to go. Its going to take me at least another decade or two until the year 2020
or later when Im more in my element. Today was a good start, but I hold no delusions
that my goal is anywhere close to being finished.
Ive got a very large mountain to scale and climb.
The thing is, if I sell a show, Cartoon Network wouldnt just be buying my show. Theyd
be buying me and my style, personality, and persona, or so Ive read. That might be a
problem, considering how sloppy my style is. Its not nearly as clean as my art style. Im
for sale, huh? Guess Id better be careful then.
Im more glad I know how to draw my pages now than ever before. The Google search
results for Drawing a comic/manga page and How to draw a comic book / manga
page are one big wasteland of factual discord. Im glad I can teach it to myself
nowadays, and am already able to draw comic book pages.

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Things I draw better than most:

Martial Arts
Flight
Architecture
Firearms
Fabric and costumes

For once, Im glad not to be famous. Im glad I dont have a famous name or a famous
face or a famous story. Obscurity suits me well.

As some already know, a lot has been written about my various public personas. But
nothings been written about me, the man behind the intellectual barrier.
Ive written a lot about myself though. Apparently I myself am my number 1 biographer.
Im the most reliable source of information about myself in real life. The rest is fantasy
taken as reality, frankly. What actually has been written about me by other people in the
media, indirectly mostly, isnt very courteous or respectful. Ive written more than a
million words about myself and my life and career.
But now that I think about it, the media isnt what really gave me my power and
influence to begin with. Just because you have an Anime News Network write up, a Time
Magazine or Rolling Stone article, or a Wikipedia article does not necessarily make you
more powerful and influential than me. It can make you more well known than me, but
that does not necessarily guarantee you have the same level of Godlike power I do. It just
means you have press coverage. I dont really have any press or media coverage. But I
am influential, and I do influence a lot of people who do get shows and write-ups. I know
that much.
Despite illusions to the contrary, theres really only so much of me (Joseph M. Alberts) to
go around. Theres not enough supply of me to meet how much demand there is for me in
a lot of places. So some people cut corners and try to create excess me. Bad idea(s). And
Id love to sit here and debate How amazing the fans say I am and Why people say
Im so great all the time, 24/7, but I have a life to recover from those who have tried to
take it from me right under my nose.
I got subpoenaed a lot when I was in my early teen years. Fortunately I never ended up
having to serve on a jury and prove some guy I dont know is guilty beyond the shadow
of a doubt. Ive had just about all I can take of the modern day mockery known as the
justice system.
Ive actually struggled with quite a few things in my day: Mental illness, Poverty, Bad
hygiene, Obesity, unemployment, psychic abilities, genius, unpopularity, abandonment,
disgruntled peers, dysfunctional family, the state.

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Chapter 19

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Thursday, July 08, 2010

North American produced manga and anime are going to eventually get as good as
Japanese anime and manga (probably) the exact same way Korean and Chinese animation
and comics got as good as Japanese manga and anime: By plagiarizing it like crazy.

Wow. I really am an amazing fabric designer. Im one of the best animation-comics

fabric designers since Todd McFarlane! Just more cartoonish and designy. My fans seem
to think so too. Im such an amazing fabric designer that many of the top fabric designers
in the world, the Japanese fabric designers in anime, copy me and my style. Its hard to
not be arrogant and cocky when youre this good and amazing, but I try not to be too full
of myself. Otherwise how would I ever get new work done?

I wonder what Generations X, Y, and the Boomerang Generation, is going to be like

when they finally mature as generations and become the next Baby Boomers, or whatever
follows the Baby Boomers. Somebodys got to run 7-11. Someones got to bag my
groceries and make my food. Someones got to be president. Someones got to sell a
million records. Someones got to make my favorite TV shows. Someones got to
become my new idol and favorite entertainer other than the old and reliable choices.
Someone is eventually going to grow into such roles. Bad things will continue to happen,
but so will good things. And the media will continue to go psycho and rogue.

Man. Working in TV is hard. If youre in one of the higher positions, there can be a lot of
pressure involved to act a certain way. Meet expectations or whatever. People can count
on me to play the jerk or at least thats what my low status rep says at times. And
nobody likes to pay a jerk to be a jerk.

So apparently, there are some people with less of a life than me who take the whole
internet people thing quite seriously. Too seriously, probably, as a matter of fact.

Some people are good at causing disasters and breaking things: Like town bullies and
terrorists, and Viacom executives, for example.
And then theres myself, who just wants everything to work and watch everyone be
happy. I love it when plans for success work. Some people refuse to anticipate success
and happiness, viewing it as this impossible illusion, a task fit for a fool, an idiot, a
goofball. But were really only as foolish as our own dreams are.
Despite being mocked by the media an awful lot, there are fans in the anime and comic
book communities, along with other communities, like animation, who do in fact miss
me, and feel the presence of my absence when Im not around. I appreciate those people;

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if anything shows my true value, it is how much people notice my absence when I dont
show up. Not everyone is remembered when they dont show up. I, on the other hand,
am. In terms of this relationship I have with my admirers and fans, my family and
therapists have never understood this. Theyre kind of selfish when it comes to where Im
allowed to be. In a way, I feel like my family and doctors want me all to themselves, to
the point of excluding the community of admirers who hangs off of my every word and
cherishes every moment with me. Its the media and my family and friends squaring off
against each other, overshockinglythe pal-around rights to me, Joe, Joseph, JM
Strebler, Joseph Alberts. In other words, the media doesnt like my family and friends,
and my family and friends dont like the media, but they both want more time spent with
me than one another. Theyre both competing for my time. You cant buy or fake
acceptance like that. Its too bad the people I talk to on a daily basis dont get that aspect
of my public persona / personality. It just makes it that much difficult for me to go on
each day. Middays are hell. I often feel like Im the only one with the pleasure of not
having to rush off mindlessly to work or school in the middle of the day.

Im in my mid 20s now. Im still young. I started publishing comics, online around 2007,
or the end of the first decade of the New Millennium. Unfortunately, I think Ill have to
handle my career one day at a time after all and just slow down a bit. I struggled a lot
more with drawing comics around the end of the New Millenniums first decade, but now
I think Ive finally found my groove, my brand, my niche, and its not getting burned out
or going away anytime soon. As a matter of fact, my comic book page rates are gaining
inertia with each passing year from now on. I drew my first published webcomic, that
ended up online, in 2007, at the age of 23. I was 23 years old in 2007. 07 was a good year
for me career-wise. It was the beginning of my career as a comic book artist. Well, at
least in terms of Webcomics Nation and online publishing and awareness anyway. So
technically, 2007 was the first year my comic books were published, online or anywhere
for that matter. Im working my way up to animation and print publishing.
Maybe I should just let nature and destiny take its course and let my leaves fall where
they may. Maybe I will have to wait until Im old and gray to get any recognition. Maybe
no one will notice me or give me any real credit until Im in my early-to-mid 30s orat
the very leastlate 20s, which isnt for a few years.
I dont have a problem with waiting. But I do have one question: Just what the hell am I
supposed to do in the meantime while Im waiting for all this stuff to happen to me and
justify me and my career.supposedly.
When I think about it, Im beginning to question whether all the stuff I thought was
based on me actually was or is. Now that I think about it, I know those shows arent
talking about me, because no ones that good at second guessing a person theyve never
met, even if that person is a notable celebrity. Kevin James is too morbidly obese and
white to be me in any significant or noticeable way. His personality is the opposite of
mine. So what do he and I really actually have in common. He gets women. I dont.
Thats a pretty big difference.

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This generation is more advanced then previous generations. Its slowly evolved beyond
the peak of previous generations over time. This generation is indeed younger, but that
doesnt mean its necessarily worse.
Im a universal genius with superstar productivity. Im an Indigo Child. Spiritually, Im
more evolved then Osamu Tezuka, Yoshiyuki Tomino, George Lucas, Steven Spielberg,
Stephen King, Bill Gates, John Woo, Tchaikovsky, Beethoven, Bruce Lee, and Pablo
Picasso put together. Im just as spiritually and creatively advanced as any of those guys.
Ive slowly begun to learn that it is possible to transcend your forefathers. When I stop
being blinded by their status is when I am able to make an accurate assessment. Im just
as good, if not better than any of those mountains of power. I dont have as much power
or influence as them, but I do have as much spiritual and creative power. I have Mono. I
have YouTube anime. I have The Essays Collection. I have Manifesto Vols. I IV. I
have my Cityscapes. The Japanese in particular, have proven that they can transcend in
many areas, probably because they believe that they can transcend the past in the first
place. You have to believe you can transcend your cultural ancestors in order to reach the
next level, whether its in costume design or architecture. Progressive people believe in
transcendence and the ability to transcend. That is why they do. Bands and people like
Katsuhiro Otomo, Syd Mead, Corey Senderov Jackson, Ken Wilber, Tool, and Primus
believed they could transcend and go beyond what the predesessors achieved, and
therefore they naturally personify in their best moments the true nature of what
progressive culture is all a bout. Progressive = Progression, semantically speaking.
My art, writing, literary, design, style, technique, mediums, work, and leisure style are all
progressive. Anywhere I can make an impact, I make an effort to also be progressive. Im
going for something entirely new, something never done beforeever. I want to make
the history people will use as a template for their own work and design styles, many
decades into the future. I want to write the history people study, not blindly follow the
history that preceded and came before me. America and Japan areat least nowby
nature, progressive nations. Real revolution is always progressive.

Heres a list, of things. 5 thingssome of which I have, and some of which I dontthat
90% of people want, but dont have:
Theres

Power (have and dont have it)

Fame (have it, and dont have it)
Genius (have it)
Wealth (dont have it)
Beauty (dont have it)

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So far Ive had to learn how to teach myself how to deal with all 4 stress commodities
that go with being a power brand in a new medium. Ive had to deal with all the successstressors except 1: Enormous amounts of power and enormous amounts of wealth. I
already have genius, fame, and some power.
Speaking as my own inner therapist: I need to stop making my system of self-acceptance
so approval-based in the way Asian companies, Asian storytellers, and Asian artists on
places like a certain art website do. The entire Artists Archive and No Turning Back
system is a laughably unrealistic Asian-based approval system. Popularity with a fickle
crowd of unknown, shallow, shady, unrealistic ideal system set up by God-knows-who
for God-knows-why is a scary thing. Fuck that. Its an unneeded stress factor. I shouldnt
base my sense of self-worth on public-approval. None of my heroes do. And chances are,
when you seek approval through public opinion, chances are 99% of the time youll
never win, youll never get it no matter how skillful, brave, noble, ingenious, talented,
famous, or respected you are with the general non-internet-based local and national
public, or critics and fans. Thats how big internet pop fails more often than not.

I think I know what my problem has partially been: Approval and recognition. Various
manifestations of these very things, be it an award, wealth, influence, or a compliment.
At some point in my adolescence or young adulthood, approval was denied me, and I
either over reacted or didnt overreact, but became just as angry, and infuriated over this
very fact, to the point of literally going crazy and ending up in a mental institution. I
knew I was a genius and talented, but when no one in my life would acknowledge that,
and it left me feeling very hurt and rejected over a long period of time, leading to long
bouts of exhaustion, perfectionism, workaholism, overcompensation, and general
depression. I got a lot of approval as a child growing up, especially for my artwork from
those I loved. But that whole world of mine changed and did a three-sixty by the time I
reached young-adulthood. It was like living in an alternate universe, what with everyone
acknowledging my quirks or likeness, but no one ever really acknowledging my actual
talent. Made me feel a bit like one of those reality TV stars: Famous for no real justifiable
reason whatsoever. Fame, power, influence online, and ingenuity in my design, building,
and work didnt exactly help matters either. Actually, quite the opposite: They drew a lot
of polar opposite negative attention and publicity to me. At the beginning of my young
adulthood, with the withdrawal of my familys, friends, and local communitys approval
and disownment of me altogether, on an epic level, I began to seek recognition and
approval in all the wrong ways, and all the wrong places, mostly online, because at the
time I had nowhere or one in the real world to turn to with my most private, intimate
feelings: My deep seated need for approval, recognition, and encouragement. Hollywood,
the otaku community, the internet community, the celebrity community, and the TV
entertainment and manga community are not exactly famous for their generosity and
approval of all things talented. Actually, theyre basically the opposite of that. They eat
up the shit and burry the ingenuity, and act like its okay. Bad move. Or at least, in the
long run thats not a crime youll always get away with.

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I have nowhere to go to for any real sort of recognition or approval, not a wife, not a TV
show, not a place in Florida, not a movie, not a person on my street, no teachers, no
therapists. No one and nowhere. I have no one or thing to turn to for comfort and
camaraderie, or kinship, other than the spiritual warmth of the comfort of my own aura,
and the power it gives out. The only actual real comfort Ive ended up with in my life, has
been the zen-like power of comfort through my own soul and my own self. I go to refuge
in the power of myself. I turn inward because in terms of outward, theres really nowhere
to turn to or go to equal my compassion, generosity, warmth, creativity or intelligence.
God and Jesus were never there for me. I looked for them, but never found either one in
the big scheme of things. Its just me. The older you get, the more you realize the world
isnt good for anything, other than letting you down with the failure and disappointment
brought on by fake, fickle, unemotional, uncaring strangers. How can anyone anywhere
expect me to like anyone or anything I like that I see on my computer or TV, ever?
Unexplored, uninvestigated, un-enquired, unexplained, and generally mysterious and
unknown areas that remain unknown, undetected, and unseen are what really fascinate
and inspire me. Im very much an investigator at heart, even if most of the time I dont
know it. I like inquiring, discovering, investigating, exploring, mapping, researching, and
studying.
I need to stop relying on external factors to just to feel approved of. I need self approval.
If I remain dependent on external factors to feel approved of, and never find approval
from a reliable source (aka The Self), Ill always be emotionally vulnerable, whether Im
in my house, in traffic, watching TV, or on the internet. My sense of self-esteem and
personal approval needs to be internal. It needs to come from inside my mind and body.
The most important and powerful approval I could ever achieve is my own. What the
people I dont respect think of me or say about me shouldnt matter at all for one second,
because external approval, TV, movies, peers, is worthless and unimportant and useless,
because that type of approval from those type of people is usually pretty miserable and
unsatisfied. That type of approval (exterior approval) isnt important because it never
matters or makes an actual difference. Im glad I learned this early on.
Ive not got a lot of questions, and even more writing material to reference than that.
With a little help from someone in my family, Im actually finally able to start making
my screenwriting software journal sessions rival my normal journal writing sessions, in
terms of the amount of effort put in. Naturally, my (relatively new) screenwriting
journals use and have fewer words than my Manifesto Journal, but it rivals Manifesto in
terms of productivity and creativity. Each one serves a different purpose. One is for my
career, the other is for venting and letting it all out (this one being the latter).
The screenwriting journal is one place to get my thoughts on Monos world sorted out,
and get to think as strategically as possible about the reality and construction of my
vision.

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BOOKMARK
With a total audience so far of 276,000 video viewers for YouTube alonecumulatively
speakingIm one of the most powerful names in local Florida broadcasting. I have one
of the largest audiences out of any local entertainer (or) broadcaster in Central Florida. I
dont only have Floridians as an audience. My audience is one of the most international
around, and includes a decent amount of Eurasian audiences.

Im a master of two brand new technology fields I helped create, or at the very least,
pioneer:

DVD Format Authoring: DVD Authoring with online or computer produced

videos of home or professional caliber.

DVD Format Engineering: Combining DVD authoring with unconventional kinds

of non-professional non-studio source material.

Ripped-Video Engineering: Ripping DVDs and TV clips to the WMV library and
show list.

Format Integration (Format Combining, Format Synthesis) (Combining Windows

Media Library with WMV video files Hard Drive TV Channel).

BOOKMARK
Detailed cinema and animation, that uses cyberpunk or layering, or detailed engineered
mecha or highly detailed architectureis or has become an entire genre in unto itself.
Most hackers and crackers and other such leet individuals have mal intent and want
to do SOMEONE damage. Thats kind of their whole purpose. Theyre obviously modern
day bullies and thugs. Mere data and information vandals who like to wreck shit cuz its
fun lulz
Seth MacFarlane is technically the highest paid writer in all of Hollywood, just as John is
considered the most powerful. Seth McFarlane makes $50 million a year. Thats Pixar
level money for doing Family Guy. Kind of ironic, considering how much I used to insult
him on the ASMB.
I really dont know why the people involved in my life are such incredibly selfish
douches right now. Not only do they have a me-first-all-the-time attitude. Theyre
incredibly mean, narcissistic, and selfish, unwilling to help anyone of any sort but
themselves.

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My parents and family have stripped me of all outlets to release my pure male rage,
anger, and aggression that gets very, very, very, very, VERY pent up having to listen to
how fucking stupid the people living with me are. I seriously want to go on a murderous
killing spree downtown and kill and destroy everyone and everything I see, except
myself. Im the only thing I see that doesnt make me want to kill, well, just about
everyone in society. Especially dumb motherfuckers. Makes me want to buy a gun. Or a
knife. Or a sword. Or a shotgun. I guess theres always Mono Jubei. Hes aggressive
enough to be therapeutic for me.
If my voice goes really high pitched when I laugh, thats the inner Asian in me coming
out to play. Asiansor in my case, part-Asianstend to laugh in a really gitty, really
squeaky manner.
For humility and my spirits sake, Ive never felt the need to shove my rivals and
enemies power in peoples faces. Or the amount of setbacks Ive had to overcome to get
to where I am. Who wants to be weighted down from a life story with that kind of info
anyway? Not many people are interested in hearing about that; about my problems. No
ones interested. Almost no one feels sorry for me anyway, so why even bother brining it
up?
Its funfusing. Fun thats confusing. Do you have to grow up when you go into anime,
animation, comics, and manga, or dont you? Theres 2 things Ive always heard people
say about animation in particular. You never have to grow up, and Never give up.
Some of these kids now think that anime makes you more grown up which is kind of
wrong in my opinion. Those who are immature now will probably always be that way
half the time.

How to make an Honest to god really, really good Nicktoon:

Step 1: Invader ZIM The Nightmare Begins
Me on premiere night: Wow that was a good introduction of the world!!!
Step 2: Avatar: The Last Airbender Avatar Aang
Me on premiere night: Wow that was a good ending-finale!!!
The End
Andthats all she wrote.

In the world of broadcasting, all the insiders know no one is really allowed to compete
against cool with cool, seeing as it just about always confuses the market.

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Im pretty good at concealing my power level in traffic and in person. No one

recognizes me from anywhere. I look weird and disheveled, but not powerful. Some
people try to make the vehicle they drive an expression of power, like pickup trucks
and whatnot. A lot of people who drive pickup trucks are power hungry, or at the very
least want to show off their power to establish their predatory and territorial dominance.
Ive just realized something. 99.999% of all animation fans on the web only know
how to appreciate dramatic, serious, action-based animation, not actually build it up
and create or narrate it through screenwriting. Thats just not done (yet). Drama in
animation is considered infinitely less saleable, more difficult to write, and more
difficult to develop and sell than traditional comedic lighthearted childrens gag
animation. What the Japanese and French do is considered alien, impossible, futile,
and foreign to 99.999% of all American television writers. The vast majority of
writers in American animation, TV or otherwise, dont believe in action-based and
dramatic anime-like storylines, whether its addressing violence of an adult nature,
progressive serial narratives, or anything in between. My field is specialized. My
position is a very Jhonen-ish one, except with a lot less comedy, and much bloodier
and edgier, darker, more like his comics. What many fans crave is underprovided
and under-delivered by the U.S.-based animation industry at large. Why reinvent
the wheel, right? Right?? Wrong! You SHOULD re-invent the wheel. Jhonen had to
learn to write a script and adapt to the medium of animation, just like the other
American animation master, Aaron McGruder and everyone else in the industry.
Maybe I dont watch enough drama on TV shows. Maybe thats part of my
problem, I dont watch a lot of TV drama, because most of it tries to be a soap
opera.
As for figuring out and learning how to write dramatic animation, you can watch
dramatic movies, but its inevitably something youre going to have to teach yourself
ultimately, and learn through doing. Learn to write a certain genre by writing that
certain genre.
My screenwriting journal is turning out beyond perfect. Im so happy with the direction
its taking. Its turning out exactly as I predicted. Im spending more time than ever
before screenwriting, or more specifically, developing the content of my screenplays and
scripts. Im having a family member(s) give me a conscious reminder to not forget to
work on scripts, especially when Im bored, angry, and depressed. I also have two
screenwriting journals in two rooms, so its not like Im unable to harness the power of
my literary energy flow. Quite the opposite. Im very able to do that.
In a way, things are going just as I had hoped. The Screenwriting Journal is usurping
Manifestos monopoly on my creative thought process, and that makes me really, really
happy. That and Screenwriting Journal is becoming more compulsive. Its feeling more
and more necessary to work on in to relieve stress. Quickly but surely, Im covering all

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aspects of developing my world I hold the ultimate power and influence over. For my
spec script series, Ive currently got 26 30-minute (half-hour) episodes in development,
which is actually really awesome. Im very proud of my writing.
Having the spotlight put on me can sometimes make me freeze up and kill what little
productivity I had produced in the first place. Being the center of attention fills me with
fear, terror, panic, and anxiety. No wonder I choked right around the beginning of
AnimeTV season 2 and they didnt ask me back for that season. I clearly didnt do well,
work well, or function well under the spotlight and pressure, and Im sure they could
sense that.
The only way Im going to be able to compete on an international level against the
international leading filmmakers in other countries is if my quality rivals, matches,
and / or surpasses their own. I might collaborate with them or I could be competing
with them at some point. This is showbusiness. You just really never know.
Fortunately Ive come a long way as an author, screenwriter, comic panelist, and
storyboard-artist in as little as one year. Its taken me less than 7 months of training
and learning discipline to have reached the level Im at now. I started working at
itimproving my screenwriting abilitiesin February of 2010, and its July of 2010
now. So Ive been training my skills as a screenwriter for about half a year now, give
or take. In the last 6 months of so, Ive managed to churn out 14 pages of actual
(disorganized, 1st draft, but still correctly formatted) script, or screenplay. Only
2 more pages of scenes (or scene excerpts) until Ive finished the page count
equivalent of an actual 26 minute screenplay. I could finish this goal a lot faster if I
wrote more often and/or every day, little by little in my screenwriting journal, like
Ive been doing. When I make the whole page formatted from the beginning, instead
of text, I tend to write slower, and produce less per day. Due to the content being
more forward and heavy, for me personally, that takes a lot out of me, even when
Im using energy drinks.
I have ties that go pretty inward with Google and Time Warner, the two biggest most
powerful media companies in the world. This year Forbes Magazine in their new power
list ranked the co-founder of Google, Larry Page as the Number 5 Most Powerful person
in the world. Fortunately, Im starting to get listed at the top of a Google search for my
name again. Spindack aint doing so hot ever since Spinback entered Google search
engine, whatever Spinback is, but the other guy I am is doing quite great.

I just realized. I dont know anything about the female genderliterally

Generally, nowadays in the world of auteur-based creator-centric animation, the act of
buying a show basically = buying the rights to the creator. Creator and their names are
their shows. Most people in the know associate Invader Zim with Jhonen Vasquez,
Dexters Lab with Genndy Tartakovsky, Family Guy with Seth MacFarlane, The

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Boondocks with Aaron McGruder. Its a creator centric world. Its getting to the point
when people think the creator IS the show, creator = show, when technically thats not
true every single time. Just most of it. The same law applies to movies and comic books.
I sure hope those sons of bitches at Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, and Williams Street
are happy, now that theyve ruined and destroyed the art and total quality of Western
animation as we know it. They became out of touch with what the fans and viewers really
wanted a long time ago. They have no clue how to run a real networkthey only know
how to ruin them. I could have done it so much better. I know I could have. If I was in
charge Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon could have been as big in business as Google
and YouTube, but because theyve failed to heed my warnings about their doing the
wrong thing, Im quite certain theyve doomed themselves, particularly with comedy, but
also drama, and Southeast Asian animation. Their networks are no longer funny or
entertaining, contrary to what their middle American propaganda says. We are now
officially in the animation-plague Dark Ages here in America. I dont exactly call a 2hour long Kids Next Door marathon followed by a gay-ass 2-hour Johnny Test marathon,
in the middle of a Sunday, breakthrough programming. Those are 2 of their worst
shows of all time, and most poorly drawn, to add insult to failure. Im glad Im starting to
siphon my ties to CN. I dont feel a connection to their network anymore. At all. TV
during the day time is even worse than daytime television during the 90s.
Honestly, Im retired. I dont feel powerful like people with real power do. Most people
who have real power arent confined, trapped, and relegated to one single place their
entire lives like Harry Potter under the stairs or something. I am, therefore physically and
socially I have no real power, otherwise how do you explain me never having enough
money or transportation to leave my house, except to go to therapy and art lessons, which
I dont like that much of course. All this being cooped up indoors and terrorized by
disgruntled neighbors and parents all day isnt healthy, or so the Chinese culture says. My
only real escape is sleep and alcohol, and maybe writing. Everything else is torture, just
about.
Of course, it is a Sunday today. My most unlucky of days. Its not a Holy day in my eyes.
Not with the things I must deal with every Sunday. Sunday is evil. So are Monday,
Wednesday, and Friday.
Forbes ranked John Lasseter (the animation whizzes) and Quentin Tarantino and Peter
Jackson (the auteurs) as 2 of the 5 of Hollywoods most powerful entertainers. So
where does that leave the anime and manga communities. That and internet broadcasting.
Eh, give it a few years. Itll grow. Lets not forget Animation Magazines Top Auteurs of
the Last 20 years. Theyre powerful too. Im up there, but Im not on the official list yet.
Ive met or talked to (both digitally and in person) a surprisingly high amount of the
worlds most powerful people. Id say in terms of interacting with the most powerful
people over the computer or in person, They do have that It Factor going for them.
Before you get hazed at the threshold of success and fame, you seem to become the target
of a lot of bad things/people. Including some people who misuse and abuse quite a bit of

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their power, and if you ask me, they do that because theyre terrified of losing what little
power they do have, so theyd rather be selfish and offensive about the whole thing.

Organization: When I think of it, what would I rather have:

A blank, medicated mind like my parents and a disturbingly clean room and no
creativity or self-expression, like my parents.

Or a filthy disgusting room, and an energy-drink-fueled mind and body, which is

what fuels comic book pages, storyboards, screenplays, and a lot of unhealthiness,
like my heroes. But still get hated on by my parents quite a bit. I am adopted after
all.

I doubt I could ever retire from comics. I dont draw comics for money. The comics
scene has changed so much, the scene I was trying to break into no longer exists. The one
that exists now is a hellish ghetto of pop culture, inhospitable to life.
I still want to do 2 of 2 things.

Story Boards and Panels. 1 Page rough illustrated compositions like they do
at Sav! The World Studios

26 episode story arc, 30 minute scripts for scene and story arc practice.

Theyre both more related to animation than comics. It all boils down to one crucial
element: Sequential Narrative Storytelling. They dont call me one of the most powerful
people around in the business for no reason. They call me that because I can pull off
Herculean feats like this with the world working counterclockwise against me. And I can
still come out all right and survive, even when and if the odds are stacked against me.
I dont yet know whether or not my actual future career, however it might turn out, is
going to make it difficult or easy to hide my private family and collegiate life behind my
career. Im still figuring out how the Hollywood system works. I live in the middle of
suburban Floridian nowhere, and already, I feel like a lot of my privacy has been invaded
and treaded on by the monster known as the press and media. Maybe I shouldnt write
about it if I want to preserve it. But if I end up with a lot of privacy and prolific work
history like Stephen King, Ill be grateful to whoever or whatever made such privacy
possible.

Im very happy with my current status. I seem to have left quite a overall good
impression with the few potential contacts Ive made in the industry. These are people I
just like hanging out with and being around. Theyre very influential, but they also

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have very good people skills. I can definitely see why some of theyre as successful as
they are.
There are some colleagues who I do have high hopes for. These colleagues are true
Master Geniuses in their areas of expertise (character design, voice acting, layouts). Id
love to hire all three of them for one or more of my shows. Theyre an incredibly
valuable asset to myself.
Its true: Funimation, Otomo, Min-Woo Hyung, FCP (Fung Chin Pang), and Manga all
understand what my vision is about: Power, Movement, and Beauty
Favorite recent artists in Asia:

Min-Woo Hyung (Korea)

Fung Chin Pang (Hong Kong)
Felipe Smith (Japan)
LeSean Thomas (Korea)

I hope a lot more of their art gets published in America, and not just on the web. Im
hoping to see more books, comics, and shows from Asia with art styles and visual design
like theirs.
Im not sure if I like the concept of not being able to talk about any of my work or who I
know, and yet Im well aware shutting up about everything is in my best interest, perhaps
even in much of my contract at one point.

Im a freelance vision-innovation in some ways. I go wherever the innovation and vision

is, to whatever website or TV show that might be at the moment. When Im channel
surfing, Im always trying to scout innovative storytelling and usage of detail. If the show
or website stops being innovative or detailed, I stop going to that website or watching that
show. In this way I at least feel like I can be wherever the innovation is happening. For
instance, while Florida isnt the most innovative state, the United States is one of the
most innovative countries, and for that, Im glad I live here. I go to wherever the
breakthroughs are being made, cuz every other place bores me to death. I roll to where
the good times are.

Im surprised and confused that Japan doesnt count manga as epic literature, like the
stuff Akira Toriyama, Katsuhiro Otomo, and Osamu Tezuka do. Its all big in scope, and
its page count continues on for like 2 million pages. But if they dont want to count
manga and screenwriting as epic literature, thats their problem, not mine.
Im the youngest, and one of the, if not THE, only young person or 20+ something who
aspires to write epic novels in the form of scripts, storyboards, and panels when he grows

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up. Im aspiring to do the opposite of what the mainstream is doing. If theyre doing short
format comedic material, Im doing longwinded drama and action scenes.

I may or may not get posthumous recognition some day, and I may or may not have a
legacy to look after in the future, in terms of my career. But I do know one thing:
Currently Im my own best archivist and biographer. No one really documents my life
publicly.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Im publishing my first real action comics scene today. The Title is Parallax: Krin vs.
Mono which is a pretty self explanatory title. Published it on WCN, Webcomics Nation,
my old friend. The only thing is, its coming soon, and while Im waiting, Im trying to
toggle around on my dashboard a bit, and seeing if I can figure out how to activate my
stats counter.
My comic book art style is not technically manga, or anime for that matter. It uses
Japanese Notan like manga, and its a cross between Todd McFarlane and Frank Miller.
My comics are manga in a way, and yet they arent. Perhaps theyre progressive
manga, which is to say one of the newest schools of manga style. Progressive manga
and stylized manga is like what Paul Pope and Todd McFarlane do. Something about it
feels like manga, but it looks significantly different on the surface. But yes, I like to call it
progressive manga. And stylized manga, which is similar in definition to how you
describe stylized cartoons like Dexters Laboratory and Bruce Timm. I like the angularity
of progressive manga and Bruce Timm or Jhonen Vasquez, so I try to incorporate that
into my work as well. I like sleek angles.
Today, I finished my newest finished, cleaned up, and inked comic book page that I
published on Webcomics Nation, today, on the same day I finished it. Its a sword battle
sequence, 1 page long. Im hoping to do a lot of other pages this good. So far, its my
most cleaned up and professional looking page yet that wasnt cut-and-pasted together
from scanned sketchbook images. This page had no cutting and pasting of compositions.
It was entirely made up with no usage of pre-existing drawings. Im still going to need
more training before I have enough discipline to do stuff like this kind of inking and
penciling regularly, but I definitely feel Ill get there sooner or later. Im already partially
there. Im supremely happy with the quality of my Krin vs. Mono page. So much so that
Im planning on turning it into a print and getting framed and put on my bedroom wall.

Now that Ive got my AH (auditory hallucinations) under control, its not even a problem
anymore, let alone a scary one. Its just me, the emotional recovery from the disease, and
the work. I still believe Sue Choi and Katsuhiros Asian Omens or Prophecy to be
accurate. I am the chosen one. And manga is my specialty.

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List: Most Primal Influences on my Paper Filmmaking Style

Filmmaker Auteurs
George Lucas
Steven Spielberg
Tim Burton
Quentin Tarantino
David Fincher
John Lasseter
Kevin Smith
Syd Mead
Production I.G.
John Woo
Katsuhiro Otomo
Mamoru Oshii
Comics Auteurs
Todd McFarlane
Frank Miller
Jhonen Vasquez
Dave Sim
Katsuhiro Otomo
Osamu Tezuka
Rob Schrab
Jamie Hewlett
Frank Frazetta
Benjamin Reid Phillips (Knives Out)
Yoshiyuki Sadamoto
Hiroaki Samura
Frank Frazetta
Moebius
Animation Auteurs:
Jhonen Vasquez
Bruce Timm
Todd McFarlane
Jamie Hewlett
Aaron McGruder
Walt Disney
John Lasseter
Steve Blum
Eric Radomski
Yoshiyuki Sadamoto
Corey Jackson
George Lucas
Kenji Kamiyama

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Literary Auteurs
Dave Sim
Tolkien
Stephen King
Michael Moorcock
Isaac Asimov
Tom Clancy

I gotta admit, Jhonen Vasquez is a great production designer, but Corey Jackson is an
even better one, even if it was Jhonen who inevitably ended up getting the Annie Award
nomination.

Production resumes: Assigned to Draw

Layouts (Corey, Invader ZIM, Akira, Blade Runner, Ghost in the Shell TV/film)
Cityscapes (Zim, Ghost-Shell, Akira)
Perspective (Linear Perspective Books)
Notan compositions (Notan Book, Frank Miller, DA)
Concept Art (Knives Out, Min-Woo Hyung)
Hatched Double-Hatched Illustrations (Pen Technique Books I own)
26 Scripts (Oban Star Racers Making Of, Yoshiyuki Tomino, Tarantino)
Comic Book Pages (with help from teacher, in beginning) (manga, folders)
Concept Boards (AKA Storyboards) (Oban, Producing Animation)
Acrylic full-page paintings (Teacher)

JM investigates:
Q: Why am I unable to draw comic book panels in narrative sequence, or pages, or
sketches for panels?
Answer 1:
Because Im afraid. Im afraid of failing. Im afraid panels wont meet my expectations,
and suck like whats on TV.
Answer 2:

Q: Am I behind of everyone else, or behind everyone else (artists)?

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Impartial Judges (objective of subject)

Corey (ZIM) trusts in me to succeed
Todd McFarlane (Spawn) trusts in me to succeed
Yasuhiro Nightow (Trigun) trusts in me to succeed
Katsuhiro Otomo (Akira) trusts in me to succeed
Jhonen (ZIM) trusts in me to succeed.
George Lucas (Star Wars) trusts in me to succeed.
Min-Woo Hyung (Priest) trusts in me to succeed
Lance Heiskell (Funimation) trusts in me to succeed
Steve Blum trusts in my to succeed
Thats a lot of power, a lot of trust (in me), and a lot of belief from others I can succeed.
Now all I have to do is try, and not be afraid to fail, and I will probably succeed
Partial Judge (biased subjective view of myself
The point is, there is enough trust and belief in me from other people. If all those people
trust and believe in me, the least I can do is trust in myself and my ability to work hard,
and repay the favor they have given me by believing and trusting in myself and my
abilities too, just like they do. If I dont believe in myself and trust in my own powers and
abilities, thats borderline disrespect in all the great people who do place real belief in
me. The only way I can trust in my hype is to believe in my own hype when Im doubting
it exists. I dont know exactly why it is that so many people seem to have a strong and
powerful believe in me when I often havent even believed in myself. How come they
have such an easy time believing in me. Because they have an objective view of me as a
subject.
In terms of reference material, my three main sources of reference and research material
for drawing my cities is: Akira DVD, Invader ZIM episodes, Akira club book, Ghost in
the Shell Stand Alone Complex animation, Ghost in the Shell films 1 and 2.
To be honest, I feel as though most of the more recent designers in animation dont tend
to give production design and costume design much regard. Theyre either copying my
style with flares and overcoats, or theyre doing something more clich.
I could do a Trenchcoats & Cities minicomic, where every panel in a 2-panel book is of
Mono and his city, with Mono in the first panel in various camera angles, and various
cities in the other(s). That might be fun.

When I actually do manage to focus intently on something, it tends to be a type of

extremely intense hyperfocus. But due to my ADD, I cant always control what I focus
my intense mind and powers on. But when I truly do focus on something with
hyperfocus, I show ingenuity and master whatever the task is in record time.

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Mastery comes through discipline, training, practice, insight, inspiration, and especially
repetition.
I need some way, method, or technique to harness the intensity and power of my
hyperfocus and hyperfocusing abilities on, even if its just on blatant repetition and
blatantly copying, plagiarizing, and imitating myself.

Scorpio
They drive themselves hard, and usually drive others unmercifully. They despise
weakness in themselves or in others.
Scorpios always lead double lives one for the eyes of the world and another for
themselves.
In business and politics they have clever ideas, but they are best as advisers of others.
One of their main problems is that they have a habit to "put off things until tomorrow.
They have incredible personal magnetism, so no other class of people makes more
friends or have more enemies than those born in this period, but their strong
personality carries them through like a resistless wave.
Although this people may not intentionally set out to be mysterious, they manage to
appear enigmatic anyway. They hate being crossed or manipulated, and can react to such
treatment with sarcasm and vengefulness.
Sooner or later, they generally become interested in occult matters, they readily develop
unusual clairvoyant powers, and quite often gain fame and distinction as writers, painters
or poets. They are natural philosophers, deep students of Nature, and observe and analyze
other persons' characters better than any other class.
Usually persons born in this sign have, or make, two sources of income. They often have
to go through a great deal of trouble, difficulty and sooner or later success and fame
nearly always find them.
Transformation, change, ego-death, rebirth, transcendence; intense emotional
involvement with the process of personal growth; movement from individual certainties
to the "mysteries of life"; spirit breaking through the limitations of individual ego.
Intense, passionate, brooding, magnetic; stubborn, unyielding, driven by emotions; stands
up for self, usually covertly, manipulates power; understands deeper layers of the psyche
beyond the ego, unable to communicate this well leading to misunderstandings; intrigued
by the "dark side" of life; the underground, people whose job involves going beneath

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surface appearances; sexuality, especially the transformative power of the orgasm; selfmastery, breaking free of illusory limitations, the Hero.
But there is a sexual component of poisonous tail also, and until Scorpio learns to control
those strong urges, Scorpio may find yourself in uncomfortable situations.

The life Im leading for the eyes of the world:

Finished,
Polished art,
Entertainment,
Innovation,
Power,
Fame,
Productivity,
Publishing,
Anime,
Creativity,
Uploading
Blogging
Internet
Counterculture
Animation
Showbusiness
manga,
American manga,
Celebrity,
Bullies
TV,
Pop culture,
Being cool,
Being uncool,
Popularity online and in the media,
Acknowledgement,
Magnetism,
Secularity,
Masculinity
Girls
Competition
New Things
Liberals and Conservatives

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The Life Im leading for myself:

Journals,
Sex,
Food,
Weight,
Orgasms,
What I look like,
My real name and image,
Hunger for power,
Buddhism,
Anime,
Local scene,
Patriotism,
Sketching,
Bathroom time,
TV watching,
DVD making,
Drama,
Health,
Family,
Health,
Privacy,
Enemies,
Bullies,
Isolation,
Parents,
Love,
Sensitivity,
Affection,
Computers and internet
Competition,
Rivalry,
Fame,
Loneliness,
Family,
Dealing with family,
Family structure,
Florida, Central Florida
Love of family,
Fathers never home anymore,
Desire and ambition
Comic books
Art
Writers block
Hunger for power

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While it will take a while to recover emotionally from the trauma of the last 9+ years, Im
off to a good start on my spiritual recovery. These earplugs and my low key computer
status especially, have made it a whole lot easier not to get caught up in the circus, and
the earplugs put in one ear or both at a time help tone down the auditory hallucinations so
I no longer have people behind walls yelling into my ears and literally driving me insane
and into the psychiatric hospital for months on end of electroshock therapy and emotional
suffering like they had before. My mind is finally quieting down as of the last week or so,
thanks to earplugs and information about auditory hallucinations (AH). When I had
auditory hallucinations, it would be a battle just to stay at the word processor or my
sketchbook or on the web for a whole day like it was easy to do at the beginning. No
there is mostly just silence and peace, thanks to my new coping techniques.
Ive done two beautiful cityscape drawing, talked to my oldest best friend on the phone,
drew a bunch of lesser drawings, and compared my public life elements with those of my
private life. Ive reached my power limit. Ive exerted all my power for the day. I think
part of the secret of learning to harness and channel my power is knowing when my
power level and power supply has reached its limit, for the day. Those cityscapes have
enough depth of field and layering in them to represent a lot of power manifested
physically on the page. Thats Invader Zim and Otomo kind of power. My power is
finally manifesting. I built 2 duplicate images of entire city horizons, just like a city
camera shot out of Zim or Akira.
But if I have McFarlanes or Otomos actual power level at some point in the future, I
cant help but wonder about my health. These guys clearly dont have the same genetics
as I do. I feel a lot more deformed than them, genetically speaking. How would being one
of the worlds most ultra-powerful people affect my private life and body, or my biology?
There seems to be an emphasis on the physicality of power in the American media. I have
my doubts as to whether the possession of ultra-power makes everyone who possesses it
look good. In a physical sense.
Ive just found out today that Im not just a Scorpio. Im Scorpio with a Sagittarius cusp.
Being a Sagittarius, I am a natural filmmaker. Im a natural master of high cinema and
epic epiphanies, and epic visionary utopia and dystopia, texturally and aesthetically
speaking. Being part Sagittarius makes you a natural at quite a few things. Thinking on a
big, vast, utopian-dystopian, and epic scope of a world I manifest on paper. And also
being one of the best marketers in the world. My selling abilities are very powerful.
Whatever I focus on is ten times as likely to be sold on the corporate market. End Times
is Dystopian, but in Dystopia lies an aesthetic creative Utopia, a kaleidoscope renaissance
with tons of linear and 2/3-point perspective, at least on the surface. Thats kind of what
the deal is with shows like Invader Zim and Blade Runner, both made by Sagittarians.
My way of visualization is naturally cinematic. Im a natural filmmaker, and its a natural
thing for me to think in terms of making it vast and Herculean, or at the very least, epic
unlike any other vision ever seen. Im just an epic kind of guy.

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Something in me suspects my parents are driven by fear. Its forced them to endure my
adoptive brothers poor judgement and the bad things his arrogance and pride forces us
all in this family life to endure. My parents have ostrich syndromes. They stick their
heads in the sand, and the sand is their comfortable stable, sterile family home setting in
the house I also live in. And they hide their emotions in their hard work. Im not going to
deny the fact that my adoptive parents work hard and are workaholics like myself. They
are. They do honest, peaceful work and are generally peaceful people, but when conflict
arises, here or anywhere else, they hide behind a false sense of middle class working
security. When you do that youre setting yourself up to fail when everything eventually
falls apart when one major bad thing happens.
Media and news corporations in the mainstream are actually quite morbidly and
psychotically selfish much of the time. They seem to figure if theyre miserable due to
the excess of their success, they often make concerted efforts to make what limited
audience they have miserable with them. Corporate America seems to encourage being
morbidly empathic. The way they seem to see it, if theyre not powerful or happy, no one
should be. Thats the psychotic emotional state of the mainstream media (news, radio,
TV, and sometimes even film, which takes a lot longer to make so its released slower).
Word on the street from the experts is, the animation industry is a ton more hypercompetitive now than it was like the kind of industry I saw growing up in the late 90s.
The industry in a way, especially for comics, is better than ever, but it is also more
competitive. Very, very, very competitive. One look at certain corporate community
websites will verify that fear and suspicion. But Id dare to say that that might be because
of how popular its gotten. Every time I go online I am besieged by tidal waves of people
who want me for this or that reason, and basically want my time and attention in one
form or another. This makes me feel confused: The overabundance of demand for big
names (ME??) on the market. Who knows. Maybe all those kids promotion of me in the
online world is justified. Ha! Yeah right! Youre still nobody, Joe ya big faggy dork!
Well, sort of I guess. Anyway, yes, basically, that is it, the media is now one big chat
room, one big message board, one big YouTube, and theres so many people out there
competing against each other for your and my attention, and the industry moves at
hyperspeed. Its easier than ever to get lost in the shuffle, lost in the mix. Part of my own
power is the ability to make whatever area Im at stand still for a moment. Not impressive
to many, but its better than getting lost with everyone else, in an ocean of attention
seekers in most avenues of media. All the old mediums and avenues of distribution (and
some of the new ones (like DeviantART, MySpace and YouTube and Twitter) have
quickly become hyper crowded online. With most of those sites its not only hard to stand
out: Its hard to find a real audience in general.
I mean, dont get me wrong, its one of the most inspiring things in the world getting to
talk to industry luminaries so closely and openly, but every time I get closer to reaching
my own personal goals in the industry, I feel like the more I succeed and the more
influential I become, the more of a dangerous chance there is of me forgetting where I
came from, the school of hard knocks.

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Anyone whos been around the block a few times, in Los Angeles and Hollywood
entertainment knows that most of the time, youll achieve the opposite of what you hope
for. The true masters of the field know how to really anticipate that. The Mark Hammills
and Steve Blums of the world.

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Chapter 20

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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Im always harder on myself than other people and companies. I dont know why that is,
but I couldnt imagine being harder on other people than I am on myself. 99% of the time
Im a pushover and go easy on everyone else, even people who get in a lot of trouble and
get involved in media circuses and whatnot.

What is my ultimate goal in life? What is my deepest desire? Thats easy

Become a multimillionaire by the time Im 34 by creating a profitable franchise.

Become powerful to a degree that satisfies me.
Attain a role of authority in animation.
Create my own mainstream TV anime co-production that I write, and design.
Create a comic book graphic novel thats big and thick.
Write a screenplay for a TV Show and a manuscript for a fiction novel.
Get listed in Animation Magazines Top Auteurs in Animation list.
Get in shape. Eat a lot but not to gain weight.

If I can achieve all these things, I can then rest on my laurels for the rest of my life

So Dai Sato has basically admitted he feels anime has lost its pride, and that the
stigmatization of anime fans as nerds different and better and worse than other
subcultures is as big of a mess as it is because of all the self-hype by fans on the internet.
I wonder what he thinks of me, if he thinks Im one of the bad ones or one of the good
ones. He was mad about anime though.
Some, I dont know whether it was Dai Sato or someone else, described online manga at
sites like DA as super indies which is a name that I actually like quite a bit now that I
hear it. Very apt title.

All this neuroticism of worrying and anxiety over things thatwith a little bit of
practicecan easily be within my control is pretty pointless. Unless Im going to do
something about it right then and there, Im going to need to stop fretting over it
anymore. Im getting too old to be fretting myself to an early grave. In terms of
sequential art and screenwriting and storyboarding, Im either doing it or Im not doing it.
There shouldnt be that much of an optional in-between for me, no matter how much
internet, videos, and TV are available. Im either drawing and screenwriting fantasy, or
Im not. The more I sit around talking about it, the more I ruin it. If I write about
telling myself and tell myself a million times over in my head I need to draw to
forward my career, obviously if I havent listened to my inner voice by the 50th time,
its unlikely Ill react any different during the 500th time. Such bullshit on my part.
Im such a hypocrite not to draw all the time, talking about art on the internet all the
time the way I do.

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I need to get to the bottom of the reason for my constant worry. What is the emotional
trigger and cause of it? Whats driving it, and inciting it? I need to ask myself these
questions until I know the reason why. Too tired tonight to figure it out though. Still
stressed over it though. (Thats obvious, my fatigue and depression was caused by
obsessive dedication to work and the resultant career fatigue and work stress that
resulted. All I have to do is keep my career and job stress under control and I can master
almost any massive task I set my mind to the way I have with screenwriting and action
sequences)

Its not easy being so popular that wherever I go, people follow me around and show up
wherever I do, even in my own house and when Im out and about locally. One of the
things someone I met out in town today told me about seemed quite peculiar to me. She
told me You must be really popular. A bunch of people showed up right after you did.
Youre popular. Its nice when you hear a lady tell you something like that. Ive actually
never really thought of myself as that popular of a person, but I guess she thinks
otherwise.
And before she got to work, she said Your look is really In right now. That look is really
popular! Its the In Look! She really seemed to like my look.
Thanks, I said. Actually, Ive had this look all my life
Really??! she said.
Yes, I said Actually Ive always looked this way
For the first time in a long time, if ever, someone whos not my mom likes my look. That
was uplifting to hear that from a beautiful lady
Im so used to people on TV and in person acting like they hate my look, or really
actually hating it with a passion (my now popular hairstyle), that it was actually a huge
surprise to hear someone in town likes the way I look and is smiling about it, who
strongly believes it to be the It Factor look. What a nice woman. People almost always
used to make fun of my hair. Now its the most popular hairstyle around by some
miracle.

Steve Blums recent projects:

Hulk vs. Wolverine

Naruto
Wolverine and the X-Men
The Super Hero Squad Show
Adventures in Voice Acting
GI Joe Resolute
Dantes Inferno
IGPX
Toonami

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Beauty and Filmmaking

Players in Hollywood ARE attractive and beautiful people.

Players in Japan and anime DRAW attractive and beautiful people.

Theres a difference.
I want to get better at drawing:
Women
Perspective
Anatomy
Vehicles
Mecha

When it comes to telling stories with sequential art, comic book pages, drawings, and
series or projects of almost any sort, Im a super-great starter. I can start a trillion projects
all at once if I want. Im just a horrible finisher. Im not as good at ending my stories as I
am at finishing them.

I hate super-young artists who lie about (and exaggerate) their abilities. Particularly on art
uploading websites like you know where. You know the type some 12 year old girl in
Korea or the United States whos probably Asian of some variety, who posts these super
detailed anime anatomy drawings in compromising and colorful poses, sometimes with
skimpy attire, who write things like I got this good by practicing for 15 whole hoursin
TOTAL! Tee-hee!!!!!1111 Fuck that shit. That art is good, but its not honest. Its fake,
just like the kids who make it. Truly good art isnt just good art. Its real. Its not fake like
some always young teenage anime artists do. Its not a lie, like it is with those kids. Why
ARE they so terrified of showing their earlier work. What they dont realize is that due
to their age limitations, what theyre drawing at least in terms of illustration IS their
earliest work, no matter how good and amazing (and fake) it is. You dont start off a
master. You get that way, gradually, over a life time and decades of improvement and
practice.

My comic book drafting abilities are nothing special or impressive at all. I dont even
know if I actually want to make comics anymore, knowing how bad I actually am at
it. The only thing thats going to save me in my quest not to suck is hard work and
practice. I need to draw at least 5 to 20 more pages of comics for the hell of it. Ive got a
lot of bad comic book pages to get out of me, that are all trapped inside me until I put pen
and pencil to paper.

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I really wish my family didnt rely on me and my presence in this house so much.
Theyre trying to keep me trapped in this house and have complete control over when I
leave and enter the house, or at least my parents are.
I also wish I had some colleagues and some peers on the local scene, but there are none.
No one who I talk to online lives anywhere near me. Why DO those people who know
nothing about me in real life think and say they think they know so much about me. They
dont. All they have to go off of is buzz, media hype, and online word of mouth started
by people who have never actually known or met me, and who are probably compulsive
liars in that regard. Why do people buy into this shit. People are so gullible when it
comes to media hype. Theyre so easy for these media players to brainwash and make the
first in line for whatever kind of fraud shit it is these losers are peddling.
The failure or success (and approval) of my career and line of work, due to its financial
nature, is profoundly linked to my well being and private solitude. If I dont succeed, Ill
never be alone, let alone be alone as a recluse my whole life, which is my ambition, to
live in comfort and solitude. I want to succeed so I can isolate myself from most of the
world, live in a more peaceful place than the unpeaceful uncomfortable, stressful one Im
forced to live in now. I will never be at peace unless Im living a lifestyle of nearcomplete solitude, in a house with no one living there other than me. If I dont have
money, Ill never be able to pay my bills and living expenses, Ill never be able to afford
real reclusive solitude.
I actually feel kind of LUCKY my parents are too stupid to put 2 and 2 together and
realize all those people with my face on TV are based on me. Im lucky they dont realize
there are a thousand look alike images of my face on TV in the last five years, when in
fact Ive even tried to make them see this fact, and yet they still claim ignorance by
saying they dont see the resemblance. Im lucky they ARE that stupid. Id probably be
more worried if they wizened up to this market scam and identity theft, but they havent.
Theyre still just as blind as ever to this resemblance the fact that people are using my
own public likeness to slander me, even after seeing someone on TV with a wig and
mask of my four eyed face for the 2 millionth time. Theyre the last people on earth who
would ever catch onto that. Everyone else has, but Mom and Dad still either lie or remain
as stupid and blind as ever, and burry their heads in the sand. If I had smarter parents,
theyd probably want to sue somebody just like I used to want to do.
Nearly every show on every channel, as a collective effort to make TV seem as
interactive as the internet has heavy usage of the word you. Active writers and actors
like to overuse the word you 500 times per episode, as a way to make the viewer feel
more involved than in the show even when nothings changed. Every fucking channel
indirectly addressing the viewer with the term You. Its getting really annoying. I
dont like feeling like every channel is trying to talk to me with insults and
compliments. Thats creepy. Whoever does that is creepy, and has issues.

P a g e | 583

Im pretty sure as far as this point on, I already draw at a professional level. My drafting
abilities are already at pro level, so Im not worried about drawing detailed enough. Its
the actual comic pages I get worried about sometimesfrom time to time.

I visited the largest city in Central Florida today: Downtown Orlando. Lots of
skyscrapers, lots of people walking, lots of apartments, lots of parks and architecture, lots
of businesses, lots of parallel parking. It was very different than what I am typically used
to in the part of Florida where I live, Casselberry, which is much smaller. Orlando is
HUGE. The library is HUGE.
My therapist says I tend to be hypervigilent: Preoccupied with studying my environment
for potential dangers and threats.
That would explain my brothers bizarre, sociopathic, hyper-aggressive guy behavior. All
the drugs hes on. That shit makes him act like a total psycho. Hes so high on all kinds
of medical drugs whenever hes here. I dont think hes even aware of how offensive and
obnoxious his behavior is, because hes neither clean NOR sober. Makes enough sense.

Wednesday, Jul 28th, 2010 -- It seems as if a phase of your life is falling away, yet you
aren't that unhappy about its demise. If you are floating along, waiting for something to
come up and inspire you, this could be it. It's like expecting guests, yet you don't know
who they are or when they will arrive. Nevertheless, there is a lot to do right now, so get
busy without wasting a precious moment.
And how! Dont let the door hit youre asses on the way out:
Including Andrew, his drugs, and the stoned and high people he hangs around with
Drug and alcohol induced loudmouth neighbors
Drug-induced Deviations and comments on DeviantART
Drug induced journalists and their drug-inspired pedo and terrorism based stories (i.e.
Brian Johnson and Comedy Central, both highly drug influenced. What they talk about)
But yeah, I hate drugs. Im anti-drugs. Drugs ruin you, they ruin your speech and career.
They get you arrested half the time. They make you look, act, and talk ugly. And they
ruin society in general more than any one race of people do. Hell, the people who
persecute people from other races they dont like are ON drugs half the time. Thats why
theyre so paranoid and hyper-vigilant. Republicans love drugs. Anyone who supports
George W. Bush anymore has to be on drugs. Thats the only way to explain a choice like
that: Drug and alcohol usage. I could go on about the evils of drugstheir evil influence
on society and their evil clouding of perceptionALL DAY! But I wont.
Ive just started to realize. Im already powerful without even having ever attained my
goals in life. Even if I dont have a show on or a comic book or a million dollars or a
digital entourage of fans, Im still incredibly powerful. But what makes this power I have

P a g e | 584

now different is the fact that I dont feel a need to brag about it. The incredible power I
possess now is the power of self-realization. Im finally aware of how strong I really am.
Stronger than most people. Theres not even a need to quantify it anymore. Its that
overwhelming to me. Part of what caused this shift was getting to the root of my
problem: The drug free thing, and the quitting of approval seeking through the media,
realizing how much of TV is made by people who are clearly on drugs, and therefore
inferior to me. That and the I like being a bad guy philosophy. Thats a huge shift: I
used to want to quantify and appreciate my power. I used to want to be the good guy all
the time. I used to want to be liked and approved of by everybody. And I used to think all
of TV was made by people who were drug free. That goes for my neighbors too. I was
foolish enough to not realize theyre alcoholically abusive and on drugs half the time. No
longer do I feel the need for everything to be okay.

Hypersensitive
Hyperfocused
Hypervigilant
Hyperdetailing

When I do something good, I tend to overkill.

It must be impossible to have a girlfriend. It is also impossible to have sex with a

girlfriend. When youre me, this is just the way things are. Society would punish me if I
tried online dating, so I dont do that. Again, thats just how my life is. I rarely question
it.

How have I done so much with no real or reliable parental, educational, or vocational
guidance from anyone or any authority figures during my time coming of age? No family
members or teachers or mentors have been there to guide me in the last 10 years. Quite
the opposite: Ive been the only leader to myself that I know of. No ones bothered to
show me the way, maybe because Im inventing my own path, maybe because no one
cares or knows me that well. But when you spend youre whole life being a baffling
mystery to other people, no one wants to reach out to you, maybe because no one thinks
you need it. People have tried to psychoanalyze me and categorize me, but no one
actually tries to lead me. Leaders dont usually follow. If they did they wouldnt be
leading. Who guides Bill Gates? Who guided Spielberg? Who guided George Lucas?
Who guided all the leaders of the world? TV doesnt offer answers. Leaders offer
answers. Innovators offer answers. But who guides a leader with no good example to
follow?
I dont get a high power level reading from my look alikes. Far from it, if anything I get a
truly weak vibe from them. They have half my look (usually exaggerated) with none of
my power. Honestly, Im starting to wonder why I get upset by this kind of thing,
especially when they steal my look but never my power. Maybe the reason it used to

P a g e | 585

upset me was the thought of someone trying to steal my power. But the thing is, theyre
so bad at stealing anything from me. They can hardly even get my look right. They
couldnt steal my power in a million years. Just because you resemble someone and try to
copy their actions both bad and good doesnt mean youve stolen their power. And that
fact comforts me for some reason. My power is safe with me. No ones found a way to
abduct and corrupt it yet on any kid of real level. Bryan may have actually attempted to
steal my power a long time ago, in a shortsighted attempt, but hes a news headline now.
A joke. And for the rest of his life hell never transcend that. It will haunt him, burn at
him, tease him, eat him up, and yet hell never be able to change it, because deep down
thats how he really views himself to be: As bad as all the false hype surrounding him.
And I think we all know what happens to people who are in jail. They get raped, and are
forced to shower with other dudes. Yes, the obese ones too.
My Manifestos are like JC Pennys catalogues: Shallow, yet dense. Manifesto and my
first few little comic book pages were a nice warm up. Pretty soon Ive got to get serious
about the whole quality thing. Ive seen childrens books more complex than Manifesto. I
want to do something with a little more weight to it. But its never going to happen
unless I turn in real work, and stop doing this ink pen gesture drawing bullshit. You
cant make a book out of that! You can make a book out of a portfolio of paintings and
sequential art pages. But epic is hard. No question about that. But no one would attempt
it if it wasnt worth it. I should consider how much I seem to like easy pre-assembled
things. Like books that have already been written. From now on, since there doesnt seem
to be anyone to compete with in my vicinity, I guess Ill just have to compete with
myself. And my first inclination is to do something big. Something really big. Not my
Manifesto Volumes either. Im bored with those already. I want to try my hand at
comic books and painting and perspective, and of course video editing and
inventing. Maybe screenwriting too. Anything and everything under the sun.
Nicknames:
Architect
Designer
Mastermind
Master Builder (Master of Manifestation)
Healer
The Value of Farsightedness (Sagittarius)
Visionary (Sagittarius)
Scorpio (Power Sign)
The Value of Fortitude (Scorpio)
I have the power to use my visionary abilities to build something really big, huge, and
epic out of nothing.

P a g e | 586

Phil, my x-mentor once said in his typical showbiz Rodney Dangerfield-style comedic
way, If you had something to show, Id hold it in my hands and say Man, HBO, UPN
would LOVE this! But you have nothing to show.
And at the time, he was right. It was 2000 then. Hes wrong now though, seeing as Ive
got a large portfolio of material. I used to be simultaneously obsessed with, hopeful
about, and terrified of experiencing rejection. But after how much rejection Ive gone
through, I dont think its really so scary anymore. Not now that I have so much
presentable, or at least close-to-presentable material.
Do I even get any new ideas anymore. Not lately, but in terms of how I approach it, it
does take effort and brainstorming to think of ideas
How to get through an entire decade (2010 2020)
1 Second, Minute, Hour, Day, Week, Month, Year, and Decade at a time.

Im just another fool who sought the glory of the internet anime community, only to lose
in art competition and have everything he stands for belittled, as opposed to be the talk of
online forums everywhere. The former is what happens when you lose. The latter is what
happens when you win and dont fail, by some miraculous stroke of luckiness.
Seriously though. The internet is not a good or sane place to go for constructive criticism
of any sort. The reasons people give you on certain forums and showcasing websites for
not liking your work is, to put it lightly, moronic. I stand for making my work more
cinematic, violent, and action oriented, and Ive been criticized for all of those things.
You know, for using close-ups in wide, wide shot panels. Pisses me off that some people
think I should change that. Or my use of Notan neo-noir and basic use of positive and
negative space. Some people dont like that either. Or black trenchcoats with swords and
guns. Or dual wielding.. Self-explanatory.
Does anyone like artists and art itself anymore? Or do people just like fashionable things
and trends now? Things that have art in their title, like DeviantART and art school, and
the art of animation and comics, rarely seem to be about the art in and of itself anymore.
What the fucks WRONG with YOU. Trying to make ME feel THAT way. Fuck you
making me feel all hated and insecure and shit. Eh, not really. I think they WANT me to
feel that way, but Im too busy to feel much of anything for those people. Too tired to.
Power Things:
Politicians
Religious Figures, God, Jesus

P a g e | 587

I think the fact that I had and still have some power was most manifested in the fact that I
know and knew it when Ive seen, felt, heard, or witnessed it, and definitely felt like I
wanted more of it. But who doesnt want to feel more power around or in them when
theyve already felt it at a low level once before. Once you get a preview taste of power,
or come into contact with a powerful person, you always feel like you want more of that
initial feeling of power.

The underground and indie is now a state of mind. It isnt really a medium or genre
anymore. Not since the internet eliminated the concept of obscurity, and everything is
famous now. To me, underground and indie entertainment, has always meant weird,
wild, cool, and hard to find entertainment.

Im actually not so good at the whole resting on your laurels thing. Even though I have
many admirers and achievements and a lot of power and epic accomplishments, I still
feel a sense of heavy aspiration, burden, and restlessness. Im not comfortable with my
own idleness even when its the result of power, popularity, influence, and success.

My Googleshare-Mindshare power search engine point level is at one of the most

powerful levels its ever been at. 13 results show up on the front page of a Google search
if someone types in my nom de plum. 13 Google Front-Page Power Points! Yeah!

Animation is one mean, tough little industry these days, according to some at the very
top, and I suspect theyre right for the most part. The current generation of industry
professionals is divided into political regimes. As far as the internet goes, though I am
somewhat of a rogue freelancer like Vic Mignogna or Dan Green, I am part of a few
working regimes: Adult Swim, Williams Street, Funimation, Tokyopop, Manga
Entertainment, Bandai, Cartoon Network, YouTube, and Bang Zoom! Entertainment. Not
to mention Time Warner, Google, and Webcomics Nation. Im associated with these
brands more than any other entertainment companies. And because I am often the lowest
ranking member of many of these groups, competitors and competing studios, competing
creators/writers, and competing companies will frequently target and belittle me as the
nail that stands up too tall, but now that I know thats just the industry at work, I know
not to take it personally. Thats just how industry politics work. The more worked up you
get about it, the more you lose out as a result, more often than not. Its best not to whine
about it, even if you do have your own website. If you whine too much people wont
view you as a real professional, especially when you havent even proved yourself yet.

Collectors Items and Professional Rewards I Own (favorites):

YouTube-related Telly Award Eligibility Notification

Press Coverage at Platform Nation website

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AnimeTV Certificate of Recognition

Listing in real anime-related TV show credits
Finished and Inked Comic Book Page of Parallax
Article Write-Up in Forbes Magazine about Online Broadcasting
Digital correspondence with one of my industry heroes
DVD-on-Demand Adult Swim Shop Article

Ultimately, I think Parallax is going to work bestformat-wiselike Spawn, Sin City,

and JtHM. But thats not to say I cant get my start in webcomics, because that looks to
be the case. Webcomics can pay well, but there are certain limitations of the webcomics
form I dont like. Just recently, I realized that if you compare certain epic fantasy comics
to what they might have been as webcomics if the creators went that route instead, due to
the fact that the books are 1,000+ pages, it would never work as a practical webcomic
format. Its hard enough to read them in traditional form; its even harder to read them by
clicking on each page to get to the next page. Or scrolling down. Theyre like trap doors
added to an already labyrinthine maze. I prefer the old way of doing things. Its easier to
flip through 1,000+ pages if theyre on paper than it is to click your way through 1,000
pages of scanned artwork. Thats just insane. Print-it-out comics and GNs (graphic
novels) are so much easier! I like the feel of big comics in print better than a big clickable
database. 1,000 hand drawn pages could take forever to scan! Forget-about-it!
The only people who dont struggle are the people who are in, the people at the top. I
have my doubts as to whether or not Ill ever be in a position that comfortable.
There are two main visions that keep coming to me in my minds eye:
An image of a heavy 600-page book (of some sort, maybe journal, maybe comic book,
graphic novel feels too pretentious to me)
An image of the back of a man with giant translucent wings reaching outward from his
arms, or above his arms, as his shadowy back is diagonal on the page, one leg is lifted,
the other is attached to the ground or slightly above it, and there is all kinds of luminosity
of the sun rising or setting in front of him, as he flies off into the luminous sunset. Thats
like the end of Parallax, but at the same time, not. That Human Flight on Wings image is
the final image in my imaginary 600+ page comic book. So I have the last image, but not
the other 1,800 3-panel-page images.
Im inert right now. Im suffering from procrastination. What I need is the marathon
runner perfectionist motivation to achieve momentum with forms on a page.
The pioneer, the most influential innovator of any field is always the one who takes the
first step. He is always the first to walk any newly discovered road. The first to big action
is always the most influential of all pioneers. That is how the innovation hierarchy works.
The first is always on top of the hierarchy.

P a g e | 589

My presence seems to have a certain amount of momentum to it. Whenever Im in a

room with other things and people, Ill often find others feeding off of my high amount of
intensity, charisma, and energy. Im the momentum healer. I bless peoples spirits with a
momentum when theyre in my presence. Im a mover and shaker: Literally. Im one of
the people who gets things moving.

Im still kind of in awe of the fact that you can BUILD a BIG HUGE comic book novel
or series out of what is basically thin air and minimal resources, like paper, pencils, pens,
computers and stuff. Im always surprised by what limited resources you need to build a
successful comic book from what was previously nothing at all. That element, the Builder
Architect element, is the coolest thing in the world to me. Its like building a car in your
own garage, or building your own house, or building a computer from spare computer
parts. That building technique element will always fascinate me.

Description Indoors and Outdoors Comic Book Settings

Johnny the Homicidal Maniac Location: Interior. In a run down house near a city
Akira Location: Exterior. In a Large City
Cerebus Location: Exterior-Interior. Middle Ages World
Dragonball Location: Exterior. Out in open fields and the country
Naruto Location: Exterior. In a group of forests

Parallax Location: Interior. In Agency Headquarters Exterior. In City-Wasteland.

The genius of anime has no association with me currently.

From now on
Life is my TV show.
Life is my blank manuscript page
Action is my pen, pencil, and keyboard
Time spent on my own is the drawing process.
Experience and progress are my finished portfolio, and magnum opus.
Life isnt a support system for art. Its the other way around.
Stephen King
Im beginning to wonder and ask myself, which takes up more of my time, Life
experience, or my lifes work? I have a life now. Im beginning to think I always have
had a life. Just because Im not mastering one of my chosen professions doesnt mean

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Im not gaining life experience. Every one of lifes disasters and failures is an future past
experience in disguise.

Early August,
Starting today, Im only going to draw action and fighting themed sketches for a
while. Enough with the stationary pose(s). Its time I added some motion. After all,
if a comic doesnt have real action and violence in poses and movement, then its not
really part of the action genre, is it? Im sure theyll mostly turn out fine. But as
soon as I did one awesome drawing, I was tempted to scan it. I have to resist the
urge to go digital with every new drawing of mine that has charisma and appeal, just
because its a good, appealing drawing. Ive got to be more discreet with my quality
work. Otherwise I know the consequences of scanning it on an open network. Someone
will attempt to devalue it by imitating it for their own devious purposes.

Currently there are more notable female manga artists in America than male American
manga artists. Currently, the only male manga and quasi-manga artists I can think of are
the following: Todd McFarlane, Jhonen Vasquez, Adam Warren, Joe Mad, Felipe Smith,
Piro, and Jared Hodges. And then theres me, JM Strebler, or Joseph Alberts, whichever.
Off to a pretty good action-oriented start today. Did 10 brand new pages of all fighting
poses.
Thats interesting, not only am I doing one of the first action manga comics by a
minority ethnicity ever. Im also doing one of the first shonen-seinen fantasy-actionsci-fi hybrids ever.

There are a few problem areas in my action copy drawings.

The characters lines of action arent diagonal yet. Theyre horizontal and
vertical, meaning stiff.

Also, there are proportions in my sketches and copy studies. Theyre often off. I
need to draw lines that are fragmented in the beginning to work out my
proportions.

Part of my power in the media is that my power is Im able to cut like a sharpened
scissors, blade, or knife, right to the heart of the matter as opposed to pussy footing
around, dodging the point, ignoring obvious facts, or pulling punches like some of the
more obvious choices. This brutal, blatant honesty in my public statements in the media
works to both an advantage and disadvantage. This is part of what makes me a true leader

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of the modern digital era. Not being afraid to get to the heart of the matter nearly always
regardless of what the subject matter is. That comes with being a Scorpion.
Im starting to understand that the desire to increase my various kinds of power levels is
not as strange, amoral, or alien as I once treated it at a certain pointI believe it was with
a sense of shame and embarrassment, like the way I felt about power supposedly wasnt
normal and would be looked upon with scorn by future generations if they ever found
out. I was only deceiving myself in assuming that much about the way society works.
Lots of people want more power than they already have. As a matter of fact, most people
do, as it utterly beats the feeling of being unimportant, non-influential, non-historic, and
helpless (for starters). The more I read about power, the more Im starting to understand
why I feel the ways I do about power so much. Most entrepreneurs either want power or
want more power than they already have. I know I already have some power, so I guess
with me its a matter of being dissatisfied with the power level I already have and
wishing I had more influence and power than I already do, because to me, what I do have
doesnt seem like much. Doesnt seem like a whole lot to me, when I compare it to other
people near my level, or at least the people I interact with, and who I enjoy spending time
with.
Also, the balance of powers that can be felt in the conflict between my private family life
and public career seems incredibly uneven. Like my public persona has all the power in
the world, but the real me has close to none of it, privately, or publicly. Im living a
double life and using a nom de plum, but for the most part, my first life (the one I started
with) still has little to no influence or power or wealth for that matter, and the public
figure Ive created for myself has the reality of influence (in the media), a powerful social
network, and at the very least, an aura of prestige, glamour, and wealth (even when and if
its nothing but a fantasy in the real world, which it is, even with a famous likeness). In
other words, somethings just not adding up. Somethings off balance in my existence as
a whole. Both lives, both sides of my life has pros and cons on each side, but quite
frankly, they are unevenly divided in their distribution of reward and recognition. As a
matter of fact, my private and hidden half of me is beginning to resent and envy (in some
ways) the more public and prestigious half of my life and self, due to how envious Im
becoming of the things associated with my other self. I call it self-envy, or another name
for it could be pseudonym-envy. Im beginning to dislike being someone who Im really
not in person. But my wishing to return to the day when I was only one person and not
some schizophrenicly envied public monster and sociopath/psychopath, and part of me
deep down wonders, will my life ever get back to normal, or will I be stuck as 2 identities
forever? Jesus Christ I hope not, and yet I fear it might just be stuck like this for the rest
of recorded time. And I fucking hate that prospect. The actual fame I have achieved in
my public celebrity identity is not the one I had wanted to begin with. Its the secret Im
starting to not even want to keep, but rather find some way to destroy, or at least make
vanish and disappear in favor of seclusion and peace.
I also dont like how my parents, particularly my adoptive father, lords his power over
me. He does it in such a superior and arrogant way too. If you want to know what it
means to lord your power over someone, merely look at how Cary my adoptive father

P a g e | 592

lords his authority and power over me, the whole works, putting on airs, acting high and
mighty. Everything. Just because hes a parental and partial authority figure.

About Obama. In 2010. My birth family loves Obama. My adoptive family truly act like
they despise him, and Im sure they do. Im afraid I agree with my birth family. Obama is
a great president, and has been from the beginning. Im still planning on eventually
buying The Audacity of Hope.
Every online troll whos ever badmouthed me shows obvious indicators of their own
status in regards to me. Theyre all secretly hoping I fail economically and creatively for
the rest of my life, all because theyre terrified of not being able to play judge, jury, and
God with someone elses life. Of course theyre all hoping I fail. Me failing (in their
personal opinion) makes them look that much smarter and better. And they WANT TO
look smarter and better than you, and me, and anyone else whose values dont coincide
with their own. After all, just who the fuck am I to succeed instead of or without them,
eh? Just who the HELL do I think I am to not instill hatred and envy at every opportunity
like some celebrities. And yet I dont see any of them whatsoever willing to compete
against me in the race for success with anything more than depressingly arrogant
Photoshop work and a whole truckload of self-aggrandizing and selfpromoting/endorsing opinions that put everyone else other than them down. Is that really
the way to make $50 million a year like Seth McFarlane of Family Guy does? Doubt it.
My success does frightening things to the people who envy me more than your average
fan.

No doubt about it. The Action and Science-Fiction genres are two of the most influential
and profitable genres in Hollywood

Parallax
PROBLEM: Others have no time for you as you are apt to have too many irons in the fire at any
given time.
SOLUTION: Be sure that you have a 'product' to match all the 'advertising' you do. Is it
fact or is it fiction?

Is there a Parallax product yet or not? Is Parallax fact, or fiction? That problem is very
true to me. Ive spent a lot of time advertising my product that, frankly, is fiction until I
manifest it more

From now until the future, Im on a comic book sabbatical. From now on, my job is
watching DVDs for fun/research. And lots of them too! Finished one disc today: The
DVD is 5 episodes of Gundam Seed, which is an excellent show by the way.

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One lesson Ive learned is that, even when faced with overwhelming failure at the hands
of vicious poor sport hit-bellow-the-belt, mean as hell losers and nerds bigger than you a
million times over, you must never give up, even when you feel like they are surrounding
you. That is what I learned from my role models.

Turns out I dont perform well when the spotlight hits me or when Im under a lot of
social and media pressure. Career pressure has almost ruined me time and time again. As
a matter of fact, I perform like shit under pressure. Im like Michigan J Frog. I cant do
shit when the world is paying attention to me, or when Im under pressure or
experiencing any form of fame or infamy. Im not a performer, or theatrical in person for
that matter. Yes my storytelling involves acting, drama, and theatre, but theres no place
for those things in my private life!

Biggest influences going into animation and comics: Martial Arts and action movies from
Hong Kong and Hollywood (Wuxia, Shaw, Pulp Fiction, Fight Club) with intense
violence and low key lighting, various action, science-fiction, anime, and old Steven
Spielberg, Maya Deren, and Star Wars films, and some John Woo and French New-Wave
international cinema; Image comics by Todd McFarlane, Sin City by Frank Miller;
Designs by Bruce Timm and Jhonen Vasquez / Tim Burton. For layout and production
design: Moebius, Syd Mead, Fritz Lang, Corey Senderov Jackson, and Katsuhiro Otomo.
Detail and textural vividness and complexity of a drawing alone does not always a good
design make. Ive seen some very vivid, very detailed work that is frankly very ugly.
Aesthetic beauty and appeal accounts for a lot of what really makes a design good.
Simplicity is often only aesthetically pleasing if the drawing has some sort of aesthetic
appeal to the viewer.

JMS AMERICAN-BASED PRODUCTION DESIGN AWARDS!

THE GREATEST CITY-BASED TV PRODUCTION DESIGN
IN ANIMATION HISTORY (MOSTLY WESTERN; ASIA = SELF EXPLAINED)
TED BLACKMAN (BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES)
SYD MEAD (MECHA DESIGN, GUNDAM)
JHONEN VASQUEZ (INVADER ZIM)
COREY SENDEROV JACKSON (INVADER ZIM)
MARATHON ANIMATION (TOTALLY SPIES, MARTIN MYSTERY)
TITMOUSE (MEGAS XLR)
JM STUDIOS (AVATAR, GI JOE)
SAV! THE WORLD PRODUCTIONS (OBAN STAR-RACERS)

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Ive spoken to 2 of the 4-7 most influential production designers in animation, and
relentlessly copied their style in an effort to improve the production design of my own
projects. These designers (Corey and Jhonen) understand science fiction or anime
aesthetics and multi-point perspective better than anyone else.
Production Design in animation has gotten progressively better and generally more
evolved through history with the passage of time. Its really exploded in Japan and Asia
in general over the last 2 or 3 decades.
I always keep the aspiration to design cities with vivid perspective near and dear to my
heart.
I have an overwhelming desire to envision, manifest, and build visions of my own urban
cities of the future on paper. That appeals to the part of me that likes architecture, detail,
science, and travel. But much of it is really just a desire to build a mosaic of architectural
vision, OTOMO style.
Other than that, I enjoy drawing fighting, firearms, and designing trenchoats.

200 Pages of Fighting Sketches Mark

If I go over some of the pages that have both elements and count the same pages for both
instances, Ive done a total 400 Mono sketches and drawings, and a collective total of
about 200 fighting and combat related pages related to Parallax. Thats one epic fight. It
often feels nonsequential, but Im pretty sure I can make it flow more if I try. Still, thats
like a 200 page book of fighting sequences and transition pages right there in my
sketchbook. Thats a whole lot of ass whoopin goin on. 200 pages of fighting is a rather
large amount. Im not sure if Im happy with most of those drawings yet. I have to let it
sink in. Now its really starting to feel like Shaw Bros. Wuxia in my very own
sketchbook. This is very good, in 1 to 2 years or so, Ive managed to come up with a
DBZ-level amount of action, and Im completely out of shape! Whether storyboards,
image boards, comic book page panels, or all three Im going to have a lot of material to
work with, almost like an infinite amount. Well, actually, I already kind of do have a
massive amount of material to use.

Monday, August 09, 2010

I dont write to win contests and praise. I write for the exercise, because I love it. I like
art for arts sake, and writing for writings sake. Thats how I finish so much writing and
artwork each year and month. Im developing my series Star Wars style. Im getting
better at the act of mapping everything in my world out.

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I hate to admit it, but my birth mother is a greedy, intrusive, compulsive liar. She lies
about almost everything, and expects me to believe all of it, instead of calling bullshit
like I should.

I hold no real allegiance to conventional webcomics. Parallax may partially be a

webcomic, but that doesnt mean I give two shits about the webcomics industry one way
or the other. As a matter of fact, I dont give a shit about webcomics in general, with few
exceptions. Most of them are shit, shittily drawn, shittily written. Shit. Get the picture? If
I did start caring about webcomics or the so-called industry of webcomics, Im sure my
overeagerness would backfire somehow. No one wants to pay for a webcomic and they
probably never will either. Mono doesnt belong to the world. Or the public. He belongs
to me, myself, and I. In my own private collection. Mono doesnt belong to any industry,
be it anime, manga, webmanga, comics, superheroes, indie comics, graphic novels, or
webcomics. I hold no stake in any of those industries. Its a bad idea to lump myself in
with any proven OR unproven industry or community, seeing as how when Ive done that
in the past its always backfired on me with hideous repercussions. Im not on Adult
Swims side, or Williams Streets side, or Cartoon Networks side, or Jhonen Vasquezs
side, or the anime community and industrys side. Forget all that shit. Joining teams
is bullshit. Just do as much as you can yourself. Do everything yourself. Dont force
yourself to hold allegiance to or thank anyone, other than yourself of course. My large
amounts of script, screenwriting, and fight sequence material was manifested purely of
my own accord. I didnt rely on anyone to get my results. People can reject me, make fun
of me, and tell me No all they want. Ill keep writing regardless. I may write and
storyboard my Mono stories quite a bit, but at the end of the day Im still going to carry
on. Ive still gotta carry that weight.
I draw differently than I did as a kid. There is a lot of anger I channel into Monos eyes.
His glare reminds me of my own. I see myself, my own anger, in his glare, in his eyes
especially. Its the opposite of the staring off into space eyes. Something about
channeling the overwhelming power of my anger, paranoia, and classic genius-fueled
rage into my work satisfies me. Theres something about it I find therapeutic. Monos
eyes are not Windows to the Soul as the Japanese say. They are a direct channeling of
my own anger onto the page. Much of my vision is fueled by both anger and hatred for
the circumstances of my life. Am I happy? Not at all. Im miserable. Am I productive and
prolific? I dont know. I guess so. God help you if you get directly in my way and block
my path in any direct way whatsoever. If you get in my way in any direct way
whatsoever, I run your ass over and dont think twice about it. What happens when a 4
year old stands in front of a semi-truck on an expressway? The little kid magically
becomes a stain on the road. That is what happens when you get in my way. I merely run
your sorry ass over with my own force and the strength of my will.
Part of the reason I dont give up, even when I fail or lose numerous times, isnt because
of tenacity, so much as its because I literally dont know how to give up. My tenacity is
so strong, my will is so powerful, I couldnt stop filling up sketchbooks, books, and word
processors even if I wanted to. Giving up, quitting, submitting, yielding isnt in my

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nature. I dont know how to do any of those things, even when the whole world wants to
harass me for it. My energy level is like driving a vehicle you dont know how to stop. I
dont know how to stop going. My output level is on autopilot, regardless of whether its
shitty or a masterpiece. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I get it wrong, either way,
Im never able to stop plowing forward. Willpower is a compulsion to me. Im a virtuoso
auteur in that sense. And I do indeed feel like I could write and draw 5 to 10 times as
much, with enough free time on my hands. When youre energy force level is on a
nonstop path forward and you dont have any way of stopping yourself from moving
toward your goal or just moving in general, it can be hard to deal with sometimes. Its
Tetsuo-Syndrome. My creative output is one giant glowing dome of light in a crowded
city.

When I was a young boy,

My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said, "Son when you grow up,
would you be the savior of the broken,
the beaten and the damned?"
He said "Will you defeat them,
your demons, and all the non-believers,
the plans that they have made?"
"Because one day I'll leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join The Black Parade."
When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said, "Son when you grow up,
would you be the savior of the broken,
the beaten and the damned?"
Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go.
And through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
And when you're gone we want you all to know.
We'll carry on,
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I can't contain it
The anthem won't explain it.

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A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams

Your misery and hate will kill us all.
So paint it black and take it back
Let's shout it loud and clear
Defiant to the end we hear the call
To carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches
On and on we carry through the fears
Ooh oh ohhhh
Disappointed faces of your peers
Ooh oh ohhhh
Take a look at me cause I could not care at all
Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part
I won't explain or say I'm sorry
I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar
Give a cheer for all the broken
Listen here, because it's who we are
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
Just a boy, who had to sing this song
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
I! don't! care!
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches on
Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part (We'll carry on)

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Do or die, you'll never make me (We'll carry on)

Because the world will never take my heart (We'll carry on)
Go and try, you'll never break me (We'll carry)
We want it all, we wanna play this part (We'll carry on)
Welcome to the Black Parade
My Chemical Romance

Daytime TV isnt sad enough for my tastes. When Im feeling tragically sad, I need
another sad story to help me feel less lonely about my own sadness and abusive parental
figures.

Current and New animation I Highly Endorse:

Bakugan: Gundalian Invaders

Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds
Chaotic Marillian Invasion
Star Wars: Clone Wars
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
Sabrina the Animated Series
Ben 10 Ultimate Alien
Generator Rex
Ani-Mondays
Monster
Gundam 00
Naruto Shippuden
The Boondocks
Invader Zim

There seems to have been a shift in the race of my life:

Theres been a shift in the theory and performance balance scale.
My performance is finally catching up to my theory. Im starting to get my mania and
schizophrenia under control like never before, my screenwriting, comic booking, and
storyboarding is finally catching up to my journals, or Manifesto, so much so that its
cutting into my Manifesto editing time. That and the local/international/media and
generally ubiquitous carnage pandemonium mob finally seems to be letting me be in
peace.

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It takes talent and skill to be a powerhouse producer; it takes talent to produce form after
form and paragraph after paragraph, page after page of creative work without quitting or
stopping, without relenting. It takes a lot of work and practice to be a virtuoso. No ones
mastered the art of powerhouse virtuosity yet, even if theyre work seems perfect with no
flaws. That just means they work a lot harder at practicing more than everyone else.

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Chapter 21

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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Maybe I should start off fresh.
When illustrating my characters for my books, I find it helps to think like an animator.
When it comes to my experience, I have experience working as a student to 2 main fine
artists and 1 professional animator who had worked on multiple notable projects for now
mainstream animation companies in their heyday, MTV (Beavis and Butt-Head), Cartoon
Network (Cartoon Cartoons), and Nickelodeon (DOUG). He would always emphasize
timing, motion, and thinking 3-dimensionally. Those elements of focus make it easier to
draw just about any animation or comic book character, whether theyre a cartoon
character, a superhero, or a manga and anime character. Mono and his trenchcoat for
example. I often find myself rough sketching Mono as an animator on my staff would.
Im pretty sure Im more of a lark than a night owl, and I rise with the sun. Im a daytime
person. My biological clock has adjusted to being a daytime person. I like the quietness
of night, but I like the first sunshine of the morning better, and the condensation on the
lawn in the morning.

Having an iron will and perseverance and never giving up, enjoying struggle and
obstacles is a trademark of success.
Actually, the truth about books is, you can tell which authors have the strongest reservoir
of power and the most powerful amount of will power by how thick their books are. The
more epic the scope, the bigger the book, the more pages in the printing, the more
powerful the authors will is. There are only so many people with perseverance and will
power that strong.
This journal is 2,000 pages done of my own accord. Manifesto is clearly a reservoir of
literary power, and so are my sketchbooks, or at least artistic power.
You dont just wait for success to happen. You make it happen, if you want any sort of
powerful success whatsoever.
I wont succeed if I dont have perseverance and an iron will.

Discipline is Perseverance, and Perseverance is to continue doing a job in spite of

Difficulties, Obstacles, and Discouragement.
To start off with, to overcome this test of my will, I need to first not put so much weight
on my goals. I need to stop putting so much psychological and spiritual weight on the
papers I use. If I didnt know any better, Id say someone put a spell on me or my manila
folders of papers that makes me intimidated, exhausted, afraid, and paralyzed from
desensitizing myself to them, and getting used to holding that paper and seeing it. Im

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reading too much into this assignment of creating new artwork. Im making this into a
whole big stupid deal of a thing when in reality I could just be drawing. I really have let
other, younger artists inexperienced and unwise standards get to me so much. Why is it
so much easier to draw on command and have discipline with my teacher when shes
forcing me to draw than when Im drawing myself. Maybe I should force myself too. I
cant do things the Jhonen way where I only create when Im inspired. If I have enough
of an iron will Ill have as much of a reservoir of power with my art and pencil sketches
as I do with my writing.

It seems as though, for some reason, Japan is starting to make more of an effort to accept
foreign manga, even though it hasnt been around very long.

The truth is, when it comes to greatness, greatness and success dont go to you and where
you are. You go to greatness and success and where they are.
When it comes to American manga, there are no most influential artists. Myself
included. Theres not enough American manga artists out there to make a real industry,
period. Because of the innovative nature of my work, truthfully, I cant think of any peers
who are also into wuxia. Itskind of an outcast loner thing, kung-fu in comics in
America. Im all alone!! I have no equivalent peers to study. The ones who are
established are either Japanese manga artists or American animated series creators.
Because of the isolationist nature of what I do, some people really resent that, call me
untalented, a lesser artist, and condemn and belittle everything I do, purely because its
outside the box known as the norm. Due to the specialized niche-like nature of my
work, Ive both successfully and ironically segregated and separated myself from the
mainstream of the art world, where the blind sheep really hate me, and so do some of the
pros. Working with no peers is kind of embarrassing. And demoralizing, or at the very
least, awkward. It kind of ends up making a lot of people resent me because my success
is not widely matched.

Im going to need to balance out the visual and literary elements of Monos world more.
Ive got to create fewer journals and more sketchbooks. Less screenwriting and more
storyboarding and/or paneling. I cant let the left side of my brain get ahead of the right
side as much. I need to let the pictures in my head catch up to the words. With words, I
can fake it, but with pictures, I cant. Maybe that explains it.

The majority of high quality, high production value, high creativity level television and
broadcasted programming during the last 20 years has come from 2 main sources
primarily: Cable TV and the YouTube generation of online broadcasting websites

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For some reason, I feel nakedly open and defenseless when I find myself embracing the
Asian element of my personality and consciousness.
Failing to realize or manifest my dream of creating a Hollywood franchise has kind of
resulted in a deep sense of feeling lost. For instance, if showbusiness isnt really waiting
for me, what is?
Theres got to be a better way to bide my time when Im not using a laptop or computer,
whether its with DVDs, TV, CDs, books, magazines, or drawing and writing. If Im
biding my time properly, I wont be bored or depressed about the future.
BOOKMARK
Goals

Power
Screenwriter
Creator (Comics, Animation, Manga, Anime)
Wealth
Career, Prestige
Influence on current and future generations
Favorite Old Filmmakers / Films:

Blade Runner
Ridley Scott
Maya Deren (Meshes)
Shaw Brothers
Fritz Lang (Metropolis)
Yuen Woo-Ping

Im not a comic book artist. Im a filmmaker who invents his camera shots and scenes
using a blank page of paper.
Theoretical Principles of Filmmaking

Visually dynamic imagery increases appeal, not decreases it.

The Japanese are the most dynamic current animation filmmakers in the world
Star Power helps projects compete
Most good American animation borrows from Japan and Asian filmmaking
Big eyes are not always needed
Its not about the filmmaker. Its about the film, in terms of fantasy
Lighting effects, obliques, and multiplaning are often not fully utilized in America
Hyperdetailing is not always necessary to tell a dramatic story

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No project is ever guaranteed to succeed. Its the same with failure.

If a comic has good panels, there is a better chance of it having good storyboards,
should it ever be animated.
Even in fantasy, the best world is a real one, never a fake one

As I have just recently found out about one of my business idols and biggest influences,
Ted Turner, mastermind behind the Turner and Time Warner broadcasting empires, owns
an expensive house in Jefferson County, Tallahassee, which is technically in the capital
of Florida. Well thats one thing I have in common with one of my favorite entrepreneurs
and billionaires: we both live in random FL towns. Hes very much in a place I hope to
be in some day, or something resembling it. Now Im one degree of separation closer to
my goal, geographically speaking.

There are three things Im most likely never going to be able to do:

Start a career
Die peacefully
Retire

Im pretty sure Im retiring from art lessons though. Those lessons suck and theyre not
helping me become more productive at all. Theyre DE-motivating me. Im probably
going to be quitting lessons for good. I hate drawing with a passion now, I hate ART with
a passion, and especially television animation. Im quitting all of it unless my outlook
changes, which is unlikely. Art lessons wreak of my own adolescence just a bit too
much. I fucking hate it. I need to put an end to this source of misery.

So you mean to tell me all those people asking questions directly related to me on
message boards just want an excuse to talk to me directly? I never would have guessed.

There are more rich people with too much time on their hands using the internet than I
initially thought. And more Japanese people. If I had the kind of money they have, I
wouldnt use the web. And yet for some stupid reason, they do. Rich people still use the
internet. Famous people too. Part of me thinks they do it just because they want to make
the poorer demographic of other internet users feel envious. Gee, how CAN you afford
such fancy shmancy software to use for your crappy anime artwork anyway? To people
like that, art online is some sickening game for them that they manipulate with great joy.

I wonder. Writing things down in a word processor is dangerous. God only knows whos
got access to see this page. To say nothing of any other form of writing.

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The current younger generation of anime fans has no appreciation for their forefathers,
the pioneering fans like myself who paved the wave of acceptance to make it okay to like
the things they like. If it wasnt for people like me, theyd still be mostly watching
American shows, because anime never would have become popular and trendy and
attracted them in the first place. The current generation of fans shows absolutely no
appreciation, gratitude, or gratefulness to my generation, which was mostly male. Now
its almost all female, which is something I still fail to understand, in terms of how that
happened and why it happened the way it did. Instead, the current generation trashes my
generation, considers us nerdy loser geezers and calls us names, usually related to some
kind of sexual dysfunction, assuming we actually have sex lives in the first place of
course.

Art. Real, good art, is not easy. Not at all. Anyone who says otherwise is misguided or
lying, or theyre probably not as good as they think they are. Arts hard. Arts hard work.
Thats why I dont draw. Not anymore anyway.

From this point on, I will go to great lengths to erase the memory of my past as an artist. I
dont want people to know I used to draw. I dont want anyone to find that out. Im going
to have to keep that as much of a closeted secret as I can. Im embarrassed about ever
having considered myself any kind of an artist, be it painter, illustrator, or designer. It
was overrated by the elite social people. It was nice in the beginning, but then it just
turned into a nightmare. I shall go to great lengths to conceal my past, because frankly I
find all that wasted effort and energy and all those failed attempts embarrassing.
R.I.P. Josephs Art,
1993 2010
Mamma, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head. Pulled my trigger now hes dead.
Freddie Mercury
Queen

Masculinity is only one element of literature, writing, the writing lifestyle, and
storytelling in general.
Never look back. Only look forward.
Being a heroic man, an honorable man of iron will, takes sacrifice, great sacrifice, and
probably a lot of outrage over true injustice. Enough to make one want to vanquish those
of wicked intention in their heart.

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The actress gave up all her old dreams, and traded up, now she is a queen. Royal families
dont have time, for that shit. Your crystal ball, you keep it hid.
Eels
Well, if Chinas animation at some point in the future still isnt able to compete with
Japans animation, or anime, it certainly wont be due to lack of trying or funding. Ive
been keeping an eye on China since many months before China ever officially became
the worlds second largest economy. I started that shit yo! I gets moneys. Especially in
Asia. I guess Im just badass like that. The balance of power in Asia has finally shifted,
and it seems to be shifting to my side finally. I am part Chinese after all, so this economic
news definitely applies to me, especially since Im considering potentially doing business
with the Chinese anime industry, assuming they want to work with foreigners and/or
Americans. And I owe it all to Fung Chin Pangs fanart of Mono he drew and painted
digitally in Hong Kong. That image so captivated my imagination, its responsible for
much of the potential Im seeing in China. Dark Man or something of that nature. Also,
theres The Storm Riders, Wuxia, Shaw, John Woo

Its okay if Im not popular in the comic book market right away or anytime soon.
Katsuhiro Otomo himself also had to struggle just like I have with years upon years of
struggling with unpopularity and not being recognized or acknowledged by the
mainstream before Domu and Akira. Otomo didnt start off as the creator of AKIRA,
contrary to popular American success lore. He did a lot of earlier, weirder work that was
actually very amazing too, even in retrospect. But still, theres no mistaking that the
story, behind Otomos success and career, is a long drawn-out one.

Honestly, if given the choice I dont want to have to choose between working with China
and working with Japan. Or America for that matter. Im hoping to go rogue and work as
a comic book creator of various stories for all three (countries). China and Japan may be
rivals in animation (or they may not), but either way, as an American, Im not sure if Im
subject to such polarizing politics. But yes, there is definitely some politics in terms of
how Chinese and Japanese animation studios interact. If only they could figure out how
to work together the way the Chinese and Japanese chanbara and wuxia live action film
industry do. In other words, there are a lot of politics involved in diplomatic
showbusiness public relations between Japan and China. Theyre stern rivals in many
areas if you actually bother to look.
North Korea? On YouTube? Well, cant be any worse than seeing a BP account on there,
in the big scheme of things. BP is pretty horrible too, and they also have an account on
their. To me BP is up there with North Korea, in terms of evil.

If I ever do pursue drawing ever again, which is doubtful, I would approach it differently.
I would approach detail not as Todd McFarlane would (which is overkill), but as Otomo-

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sensei would, which is underkill in the characters, but overkill on the backgrounds, but I
might not even do that much.

Honestly I dont remember a lot of the things I did during my youth. I was so involved,
so in the moment, it feels like now that the moment is over, all I know is Now. All that
really has ever existed to me during this period of my life is the moment Im living in
right now. Everything else just feels like a blur. Im having trouble with the names, faces,
and events I dont have deeply memorized and ingrained in my memory, whether they
were enemies or friends. Like I said, my childhood is a blur. I went through so much
trauma during my late adolescence and early adulthood confronting the people
surrounding me, Im lucky Im not senile at the age of 26. Im going to be 27 this
November, on the17th of that month.

Im very interested in action literature, or even action adventure and crime literature.
Lets name some names.
Theres:
JRR Tolkien
Stephen King
All You Need is Kill
Anime light novels
Conan
Elric
Michael Moorcock
George Lucas Star Wars
My fiction writing, both short and long-winded, is probably a mix between Mario Puzo,
Robert E. Howards Conan, and Star Wars (pre-film novel), with the narrative rhythm of
a Hollywood action movie and a wuxia pian narrative.
Im inventing a whole new literary genre. Apocalypse Wuxia. Sword and Military. There
are many names I could submit for this new school genre Im building. And now that Im
exclusively a writer, I feel like I could really do it!
Dear Diary,
Went on the internet today, observed a commune of sick-ass sickos, then left the
computer, leaving the sickos to do their sick mentally ill things they love to do. I dont
have the heart to tell them what sick fucks they are, so I let them rot in their cyber
isolationist commune.
Television wasnt all that different. Big industries fueled by mentally sick losers.

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Ed Richards
Mom and Dad watch the shittiest television.
Business Influences:
George Lucas. Walt Disney. Steven Spielberg. John Lasseter and Pixar. Todd McFarlane.
Ted Turner. Tim Berners-Lee. Google. Bill Gates.

Its hard to believe that at one point, my manga Parallax was listed in and sharing a
Webcomics Nation manga table of contents with Jared Hodges, one of the artists listed in
the recent book, Manga-Ka America. Thats a big deal! Im a little star struck. Jared
Hodges is a superstar of the American manga and comics industry, with Tokyopop and
everything. To think, for a short while back there, some of my own comic book work got
to share a table of contents with one of the most popular local Manga-Ka in America.
Maybe I can keep my fingers crossed some of his good luck wears off on me.

George Lucas is onto something with his business model. He had the right idea starting a
company like LucasFilm. He has done what all good Hollywood auteurs should probably
do: Set up his own system instead of sitting around complaining through public
statements about the existing one. I will admit, At times Ive been guilty of the latter
action, but thats really only because I wasnt aware of the option to set up my own
system. People in the industry and fan community, who issue public statements of
complaint about the industry and people who piss them off, mudslinging and pulling bad
politics on message boards and press releases, arent really contributing anything of value
or worth. Theyre all talk and boasting pomp, no action. Nothing gets done with people
like that.

American Action and firearm Cartoons:

Bruce Timm
Duckman
Spawn
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
GI Joe
The Boondocks

Greed and wealth are definitely big time sins and corrupters of the soul, in terms of how
evil they are. Since Viacom is the greediest company, clearly theyre the most corrupt

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and evil as well. Anyone who works for Viacom and who has money made by that
company is going to burn in hell. Spongebob included.

Parallax is a BIG project. I think Im starting to realize that. Just the sheer scope and
ambition of the project is rather difficult. It just makes me realize I have a lot more
ground to cover than just what I already have. Theres a lot of stuff to write about when
youre talking about a hypothetical Post-Apocalypse Era.

HA. I like being an uploading, HTPC, and DVD authoring engineer. Paving the scientific
and technological way for the home entertainment systems of the future. I finally figured
out how to hook my notebook PC up to my big screen living room TV on my own. I can
watch tons of videos on my big screen living room TV. DVDs being played on my
laptop, Amazon Video-on-Demand downloads, ripped videos from my collection,
YouTube, official streaming internet video (legal). All on my computer and living room
big screen TV. Amazing!
Episodes I watched on the PC-TV today:
Boondocks: Its Going Down
Trinity Blood: Episode 5
Sengoku Basara: Episodes 1 - 2
Storm Hawks: Episodes 1 2
Cowboy Bebop: Episodes 1 3
Total Number of Episodes Watched:
9 anime related

I think my bedroom is conspiring against me. No wonder Dad keeps trying to force me in
there. Knows something about that room throws me off. The polluted landfill feeling, or
the murdered Feng Shui. Every time I go into that room I trip over books, cut my foot
when I slam my foot against the metal part of my bed accidentally, have to dig through
everything just to find what Im looking for, get spied on by the Trojans in my laptops
webcam, get yelled at by the walls (neighbors) right around my bed, listen to neighbor
mock imitate my laughter every time I find a funny show (because I laugh really loud),
feel like the TV is possessed by the devil and insulting me on the TV channels through
the characters, writers, and actors, and, oh yeah, never be able to wake up or fall asleep
peacefully or comfortably. That room (my ultra-cluttered bedroom) is obviously cursed,
possessed, and haunted. I wonder who lived there before me.

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I think Im starting to understand why I desire power so much. Power makes me happy.
Its my material reward, much better than money. Power makes me happy. The absence
of it make me suffer miserably.

I may not be a genius, but I succeed and excel at almost everything I put a real strong
amount of effort and concentration into. If I dont try and make the effort, I can produce
thousands of pictures and millions of words, and it will all be meaningless if Im not
doing said activity mindfully. When I focus, concentrate, and work hard, I succeed. When
I lose my focus and dont put enough concentration into my work, I fail on a qualitative
level.
Dont focus or work = fail.
Focusing while working hard = succeed.
Im starting to think there is no right or wrong way to write a comic book script, whether
its pure narration or panel description and compartmentalization of the narrative. As
long as the polished, approved, and finalized vision looks all right, I honestly feel it
doesnt matter that much how the writing process goes, as long as its productive and
produces great art and dialogue, it will be fine.

Useful Books to Study For Comics and Animation:

How to Write for Animation by Jeffrey Scott

Producing Animation by Catherine Winder
Your Career in Animation: How to Survive and Thrive
Writing Fiction for Dummies
The Complete Idiots Guide to Creating a Graphic Novel by Steve Lieber
Wastelands: Stories of the Apocalypse
The Asian Influence on Hollywood Action Films
How to Draw Fighting: Manga Style (Collection of Books)
Drawing Kung-Fu Comics (Chinese)

Dont Start Writing Without it:

Comic Book Script

Narration
Outline
Screenplay
Thumbnail
Panel Breakdown

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Scrolls (Notebook and Sketchbook Collections)

CeltX Screenwriting Software
Panel
Storyboard, Image Boards
Ruler, Mechanical Pencil
Microsoft Digital Image Pro (Black Colors)
Lulu.com
Createspace
Webcomics Nation (Webcomics, Sketchbooks)
Webstarts.com (Webcomics, Sketchbooks)
8.5 x 11 Printer Paper
Sharpie Markers (inking)
Micron Pens (inking)
Useful Books to Study For Comics and Animation:

How to Write for Animation by Jeffrey Scott

Producing Animation by Catherine Winder
Your Career in Animation: How to Survive and Thrive
Writing Fiction for Dummies
The Complete Idiots Guide to Creating a Graphic Novel by Steve Lieber
Wastelands: Stories of the Apocalypse
The Asian Influence on Hollywood Action Films
How to Draw Fighting: Manga Style (Collection of Books)
Drawing Kung-Fu Comics (Chinese)
Invention List

PC-to-TV
HTPC (Tivo Premiere)
Video-On-Demand (Amazon, DirecTV)
DVD-on-Demand (Adultswim.com/shop
TV Shows-on-Demand, YouTube-On-Demand,
Netflix/Hulu/Funimation-on-Demand. (my own invention concept)
Print-On-Demand
Webcomics
Web Manga, Web Comic Books, Web Graphic Novels
Internet ripped-stream Video-to-DVD-on-Demand

Thats very typical of me as a Sagittarius-Scorpio cusp sign that I tend to fret myself to
an early grave if Im too idle. I despise being too idle. Im not a big fan of
procrastination. I used to be idle and procrastinate all the time when it came to my
creative projects, until I realized how much anxiety, boredom, and depression being idle

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was costing me. Ive regained a lot of vitality and energy and have a lot more vitality and
energy now. Im drawing action poses and comic book pages, and writing novels and
outlines and script manuscript segments like crazy, ever since I learned its okay for my
workload to be nonlinear and not be linearly constructed all the time from beginning to
end. Not necessary most of the time. You can work on whatever you want at whatever
rate you please, and as long as your productive, itll still eventually be perfect, most
likely. Sagittarius is the Action sign, the sign of Taking Action. Therefore Inaction and
lack of Activity is more often than not offensive to a more accomplished Sagittarius.
Things I want to buy:

A longer HDMI cable for my PC-to-TV convenience

More Video-on-Demand from Amazon
Rosetta Stone for Japanese, Chinese, and French.

Im turning 27 this November, in around 3 months from now. Thats a mere three years
away from 30. Im looking forward to my late 20s and early 30s. Really looking forward
to it. I have the rest of my life to explore art, storytelling, filmmaking, and technology. I
just hope Im employed sometime around then. Im starting to enter early phases of
marketing anxiety. Fear of having to go out and promote my work. Do I really have to
go out and promote it if I dont want to??
Ive found that the less I focus on my financial goals, and the more I focus on continue
starting and continual continuation of what Ive started (like my storyboards and short
story outline / novel collection), the closer that automatically brings me to my long-term
goal of making a lot of money from my work. Because you wont make money if you
dont sell something, and if you dont sell any of your work, its more likely because its
not finished than it is because its not good. Thats just the way it is. Typically, in art and
literature and film, the best stuff is the stuff that gets finished. At the very least its the
most polished work: The finished stuff. But the beginning and the middle of the writing
process come way before the finishing.
I need more energy drinks.
Caffeine, 5 Hour Energy, Monster, Red Bull, Nos, Rock Star. All great energy drinks.
Monday, August 23rd, 2010
When and if I get and can afford my own house, Ill transform it from a regular house
into a Digital Home Electronics Wonderland. For instance, for every room that I have a
TV with a digital cable box with DirecTV or Bright House, Ill also have it connected to
a laptop notebook, PC, or Macintosh computer using an HDMI chord, in every TV using
room! And Im sure in one room Ill have a Tivo Premiere or whatever other HTPC is out
at the time. Maybe Ill connect one of my HDMI chords from one of my computers to
one of my TVs using a Tivo Premiere. You never know. Everything my father forbade

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me from doing with computers and TVs and the connections between the two, Ill do. But
first, I need to teach myself how to use home electronics more efficiently: VHS VCR,
TVs, big screen TVs, Digital Video Recorders (DVRs), speakers, DVD Recorders,
HTPCs, HDMI cables. The works! To say nothing of all the ripped and burned DVDs
and PC videos. And burned CDs.
22, The Master Builder, Building the World of Tomorrow, Today

Dave Sim, Cerebus, Author (Comic books, Cartooning, Epics, Graphic Novels,
Fantasy, Sword and Sandals, Black and White Indie Comics)
Todd McFarlane, Spawn, Todd McFarlane Productions, Artist, Producer, Writer,
Publisher (Comic Books, Superheroes, Independent Comics, Franchises,
Animation, Anime, Manga, Detail)
Quentin Tarantino, A Brand Apart, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, Director, Producer,
Auteur, International, Action, Violence (Film, Cinema)
Bill Gates, Microsoft, Windows, Microsoft Word, X Box, Windows Media
Player, Inventor, Entrepreneur, Businessman, Technologist, Programmer

22:
Most talented in their field
In the top position of their entire field
Loved by many fans. Not loved and scorned by many more.
View as bad guy by some, for being the most popular
Fields Biggest, Most well-known pioneer

Latest gadget Im toying around with: YouTube DVD Burner. Yes, someone actually
made software for burning YouTube videos to DVD. The Burning interface is similar
to a DVD Authoring software interface. For YouTube, theres Quivic for ripping, and
YouTube DVD Burner(s), for authoring and burning.
Technological Abilities:

Author a DVD
Rip a DVD to WMV format
Make a WMV Playlist
Upload a video to YouTube
Burn YouTube videos to DVD
Use TV Screen as a monitor
Write on a word processor TV screen
Turn internet video into WMV files

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I seem to be haunted by the apparition of annoying and worthless people who keep trying
to find some excuse to talk to / interact with me, and some of these losers even have the
nerve to attack my character in a way too personal manner, as if thats somehow likely to
get a response. Ive got news for them. It wont, so fuck them. I have absolutely no
desire to talk to, converse with, interact with, or generally exchange words with anyone I
dont already know. Its been that way for at least a few months now. Ive stopped going
to the most likely criminal hangouts, DA and ASMB, a long time ago. Theyre abused
their Joe time quite blatantly, and make almost all of their stabs at me of a personal
nature, which only verifies Ill never bother to talk to them ever again, so oh well for
them.

Honestly, I dont know how much of a nerd I am, either in reality, or in the eyes of the
world. BUT, Ive always been a slacker at heart. I hung out with my share of slacker
friends of equally humorous amounts in middle school, private high school, and art
school. Im a slacker-genius-engineer-artist-writer-designer-author-otaku-animation and
comic book creator. I pursued a career in entertainment, in some ways, purely because
Ive always thought it might be able to pay for my lifestyle as a slacker who doesnt like
to do real work and have an actual real job (aka day job). Thats how big of a slacker I
am. And yes, there are a lot of slackers (aka losers) in both comics and animation. Just
look at Clerks, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Adult Swim, Beavis and Butt-Head, Pulp
Fiction, Fight Club, and Megas XLR. Those shows are clearly made by slackers, FOR
slackers. I write therefore I slack. Part of me likes the idea of writing and drawing my
own characters not to actually become popular or beloved, but purely out of my love of
getting to slack off all day, be generally lazy and unproductive, and of course never grow
up. These things are clearly all linked. Cartoon Network is like 24/7 slacker-TV.
Truthfully? Id say Asia can appreciate a good nerd. But they have no appreciation of
slacker culture the way America and Britain do. I dont know exactly how slacker-ish the
Hikikomori actually are.

Its all up to me. I must be doing something wrong. Maybe Im not working hard enough.
Maybe Im not likeable or charismatic enough. Maybe Im just lazy and dont try and
work hard enough. Maybe Im just not cut out for this line of work. Clearly Im doing
something wrong. Maybe its my perfectionism. But one way or another, Im not
enjoying myself when it comes to art. Therefore theres a good chance I could be doing
something wrong. Other artists have gotten a hell of a lot farther on the ladder of success
than me with even fewer resources than I have. This confuses me quite a bit. People treat
those people like theyre always doing something right, and me like Im pathetic and
always doing something wrong, just because many of my drawings are stylized, as
opposed to hyper detailed. Some very good artists seem very influenced by my vision,
but apparently Im not good enough of an artist for those colleagues to actually admit
such a thing. Im such a failure in some peoples eyes that theyre ashamed to admit
association with me, out of fear of reprisal from the public, out of fear of becoming as
unpopular as me. But honestly, psychologically speaking, I prefer where Im at now:
Alone and unsupervised. Id sooner serve as a soldier under Bush in the Iraq war killing

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Muslims and whatnot than ever visit DeviantART or the Adult Swim Message Boards for
any extended amount of time or fun. Talk about games and torture. There are some
truly repulsive personalities of individuals on that site. Its a wonder they havent
killed themselves yet, let alone learned how to wipe their own asses. In other words,
theyre sociopaths probably.

So I have here some advice Im taking notations of about how to overcome the evil
creative overlord and tyrannical emperor that is Perfection and Perfectionism. I can
get better at art, but not unless I can stop trying to be perfect in EVERYTHING I do. Its
not possible. Heres some of my notes of how to be better and get better at what matters
most in my life:
Perfectionism Checklist

Stop Comparing Myself to Other Artists, online. Seriously, go OFF-line for a

once in my life. We all are unique and have our own individual strengths and
strong traits, as well as advantages. God gives all of us the blessing and gift of
talent at something. Each time I spend comparing myself to others, whether
talented or not, is time wasted. Thats time Im spending overlooking and
undervaluing myself and my own talents, abilities and work. Notice I never think
that way about my writing and writers, and the writing I do never turns out that
way. This is part of the reason for why that is. Every time I compare myself to
those who are supposedly better or more talented and ingenious than myself
that is an open insult to my own ego strength and self worth. Believe it or not
Joseph, there are people who see my work and wish they were somewhere near as
good as me. Yes, even the Asians. There are things I overlook, elements of my
skill set and personality that many others dont have, even when Im totally
unaware of this fact. And I am. Thats just the way it is.
Set Realistic Expectations, Or Else Failure, Misery, Suffering, Insecurity,
and Pain is Inevitable. Its pure idiocy to think I or anyone else will create a
masterpiece within the first few days/hours/minutes/seconds/weeks/months.
Getting good at something, anything, takes at least 10 years. Whether its painting
well, inking well, penciling well, screenwriting, or writing a full on novel or short
story compilation of a book. One draft will never lead to anything but an endless
and epic volume of revisions.
Artwork and Good Art is NEVER actually finished. It really only just comes
to a stopping point, which some may allegedly call completion. Even good
drawings and books are never really finished. Even masterpieces. If youre
going to venture into drawing art, you must learn to accept that art is nothing
more or less than a series of tweaks, improvements, adjustments, retakes,
rewriters, redrawing, and revisions. Never stop working on good art, even if you
call it done it never is. Improvements and revisions can always be made, even if
something looks like a finished Master Piece.
Learn to enjoy, accept, and embrace your love and Gods love for the
process. Nothing can be more discouraging than always desiring some form of

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finished product, something saleable, something you can pitch and selling
availability, etc., etc. Thats pointless. Take it one minute, second, small bit at a
time.
The End

All this lack of relationships and rest and relaxation and living around stressful people
and harmful individuals and lack of good television much of the time is making me a bit
high strung. Ive become so tense and uptight. I cant help but sort of envy people who
dont have my kinds of problems. I dont envy the fact that theyre less famous, powerful,
male, and successful than me. I envy the fact that they seem refreshed, rested, and know
how to relax and arent all kinds of tense and stressed like I am. I envy the fact that they
arent forced to appear like they have the whole weight of the world on their shoulders,
like they arent going to be considered the inventor(s) of the technology upon which
entertainment and civilization is based. I dont think they could handle the dense, tense
amount of pressure I must deal with, all while not having good health, a girlfriend, or any
money/hype/popularity whatsoever.

There are two main emotional reactions I have to when people trash me publicly, on the
web, TV or anywhere else.
Either:

I go ballistic, and get into flame wars, write rants, and cuss people out.
I retreat and become withdrawn and reclusive.

Also, Im doing too much drawing for the computer and not enough drawing for me,
myself, and I. Its almost like the computer has become my own boss, demanding I
produce more work.
Viacom lost their $1 billion legal lawsuit against Google. It didnt even end up going to
higher court. It feels nice to be on the proven winning side of a corporate battle for a
change. I was hoping Google and YouTube would win. But I was pretty sure everyone
knows that already. Viacom is only one examplealbeit, a major exampleof just how
far and desperate a big corporation will go, what depths of economic, business,
entertainment, and creative-entrepreneurial failure the competition is willing to stoop to,
in effect achieving nothing morecertainly not any money or profitthan revealing just
how afraid, conceited backhanded they want to be, as opposed to just approaching me
directly and doing business with entrepreneurs like myself. They rather fail in the most
epic manner possible than ever acknowledge me as the force to be reckoned with that I
am, and acknowledge the fact that I know what Im doing, and that Google, YouTube,
and a fair amount of internet entrepreneurs know what were doing. We have 2 billion
views a day and billions of dollars in profits. Viacom has a devious lawsuit for $1
billion that failed to even get off of the ground and even be able to reach the higher

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court. Thats what you get for sneaking and tiptoeing around my back like Viacom did
and probably will continue to do until they can actually bother to play nice or fair. They
went up against almighty me, myself, and Ioh yeah, and an internet business. And
guess what! They lost! The entire online world is laughing at Viacom now. And they
definitely deserve it for being so arrogant, greedy, psychotic and ignorant when dealing
with a true powerhouse, like me. Theyre not even worth my time.

Im becoming popular enough that its actually starting to seem as though every time I
drop a name on a certain message board theres a Sales Spike or Spike for short.
Today, I Spiked Gundam (both Seed and Wing) They Spiked at Amazon somewhere
around 2 or 3 hours after I mentioned them on the ASMB. Damn Im good.
Im resolving to both speak and read Japanese and the kanji language system. No small
task. Japanese is a lot harder of a language to learn than English. The Japanese language
is notoriously hard to learn, but since I am a linguist, Im sure I can eventually figure it
out. I know the Japanese vowel system of grammar: Ah, ie, eh, oh, u
Think of all the things you can do if you know Japanese: Read kanji on Japanese internet
anime sites, watch anime untranslated, watch Japanese videos on YouTube, read
Japanese publications and manga, and websites. Understand what a Japanese person is
saying when you hear him or her talking! So many amazing things that can be done if
you understand Japanese.

Man! No wonder I dont like reading the news. I interpret its emotional impact more
deeply than your average conservative (or liberal). If some big catastrophe or
controversial story is happening in another state, because Im psychically empathic, I can
sense its spiritual energy and resonance from all the way across the country. The bigger
the impact or spiritual energy, whether positive or negative, I can sense its spiritual
energy from a remote location. All I have to do is see the news photo or read the headline
or story. And sometimes its quite terrifying, some of the things these journalists publish.
I dont know if reading or watching the national and local Floridian news every day is
necessarily a good or healthy emotional and spiritual thing for a psychic empathy to do,
considering how hazardous most of the occurrences are to the spiritual state of the world.
It gets pretty intense.

So what exactly is it that makes an evil person tick. What is it that separates myself from
Hitler Juniors of the world. What is it that fuels the fire these people have to be as evil as
they are? What makes them tick? I believe part of it is none of them have the slightest
hint of a conscience, and if they say they do, Im sure its just to cover their own assholes
and make themselves look more righteous. And if they do have a conscience as some
of them would like to have the masses believe, its certainly not felt for everyone. Its felt
for and only for those that resemble the Hitler Juniors in some way, which is hypocritical.
Just more hypocrisy.

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As I have learned, theres always some name people are dropping in the media. Always
some flavor of the week in broadcastings, the news. By now theres a new flavor of the
week and in topic every week, and sometimes every other day. Dont buy into it.

Ive always believed that the best franchises are the most epic ones: The Dragonball Zs,
Star Wars, and AKIRAs of the world. Ive already conceived my own rendition of an
epic heroic science-fantasy series involving reincarnation, warriors, and Earth after
the Apocalypse, about a young paramilitary agent named Mono who saves the
earth. Ive also drawn over 600 pages of sketches of the series protagonist: Mono
Jubei with his trademark katana swords and gray-black duster jacket overcoat. My
story concept is incredibly strong in some ways. In other ways it still needs to be
developed. My concept is out there, now and till the end of history. The only thing
missing now is the storyboards and screenplay. But considering Im only 26 years old,
Im off to a great start in my opinion, and Im not the only one who thinks so. There is a
lot that can be said about Parallax and The Legend of Mono Saga. There is a lot that can
be written. Truth is, Im not Aaron Macgruder. I dont have a desperate need to retain
control over my idea, assuming at some point someone is willing to fund my idea in
Hollywood. Im just as satisfied to take a backseat role to more experienced artists,
writers, producers, and directors. Im willing to relinquish creative control if that means
my idea will get made and become something big. I may regret it later, but truth is, Im
probably not fit to be captain of that ship. Ive really just got to work on creating great
source material.

Subjects Ive learned lately:

How to I apply what Ive learned
The definition of encroachment
What an HDMI cable
How much net worth you can earn as a technology inventory ($100,000,000,000)
Where to find gallery websites that arent DeviantART
How to turn a TV screen into a computer monitor (HDMI cable, PC-to-TV)
How to author DVDs
How to paint with the color black on Digital Image Pro
How to use a DVD ripper
Computer science intermediate knowledge
How to drive more safely (be one with the car, focus on surroundings)
Who my birth mother is

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What my birth fathers name is

My self-discipline needs a lot of work. I dont know if others see me as a disciplined

person. No one has ever told me Im good at discipline and self-discipline. Self discipline
is hard to measure for a lot of people. Im severely lacking in the area of Creative selfdiscpline.
Im only just now beginning to grasp the concept of anatomical, figure, and life drawing
perspective. How lines become people that are three dimensional objects. Perspective is
definitely a super weak area of mine. That, foreshortening body parts, and architecture.
Most of my actual real sketches have a crude flatness to them. Some artists grasp
anatomical perspective right away. But not me. Ive been drawing for a whole 13 YEARS
and Im just now becoming aware of the absence of anatomical perspective and threedimensionality in my artwork.
Drawing figures, anatomy, and body parts in three dimensional perspective is a powerful
thing. It can literally be the difference between a drawing that comes at you and comes
alive, and one that dies on the page.

Im afraid DeviantART is no longer an industry option for showcasing my artwork. Two

many encroachers and competitors lurking there, ready to sabotage my work at a
moments notice.
So as a result, Im finding new distribution outlets for my artwork.
Im planning on doing a Manifesto-esque artbook that is to my sketch books and sketch
notes what Manifesto publishing is to my journals. Every year or 6 months Ill publish a
book that collects the best of my sketchings and drawings. An Art Book. Sounds like fun.
But itll be a pain in the ass to scan everything, considering I pick my drawings by the
hundreds. On my laptop I can publish private Art Books that collect my art, through
Lulu.com.
Im beginning to realize that God wants us all to fulfill our potential, friends and rivals
alike. God doesnt want to see you or I or anyone else fail. Only people want to see
people fail
Comic books and graphic novels, from a creators perspective, are not a product
creatively speaking. They are a process. A continually evolving, changing, and improving
process.
Im afraid Ive been forced to issue an ultimatum to myself, about art. What Im doing
instead of art is just what Im doing now. Overusing Google and the word processor. Its
now a hindrance. Im doing this when instead I could be drawing and sketching and
going through the artistic process-to-product of drawing sketchbooks and storyboards. I

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must choose. Either I succumb to this computer with Google and Microsoft word, or get
off my butt and start to draw again. I think I know what the right thing to do is.
Broadcasting companies (MTV, Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, Nickelodeon) dont
create or produce anything. Broadcasting companies OWN. They own YOUR project and
story. They own OTHER PEOPLES projects and stories. They do not create anything.
They do not produce anything. They own everything. Production is the animation studios
and comic book creators job. The creator and studio are the Producers and Creators of
the work. Its a bad idea to get confused about this matter. The fact that I create and
produce quality stories makes me quite valuable in the long run, even if Im not all that
talented.
Ive got no one to blame but, my fat self.
-They Might Be Giants

There are a few areas I am considering becoming more self-aware and educated in:
Current Events
Newspaper and Internet Articles
Health and Fitness
Theres anime current events, and then theres REAL current events, which regular anime
avoids at all costs.

Apparently Im coming out of art retirement just a tad bit early. I wasnt even retired for a
week after drawing a few sloppy pages that disappointed me. I do a few sloppy pages and
Im ready to quit forever?? The hells wrong with me?

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Chapter 22

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Monday, August 30, 2010

I have a conscience. I help other people whenever and wherever I can. At least I have that
going for me. Most criminals and would be criminals, real sociopaths like my rivals, lack
one key component ingredient that goes with being a real human, and not a monster in
sheeps clothing: The ability to care and feel for what happens to other people. In other
words: Compassion; Conscience: The possession of these holy, blessed, and ultimately
profitable and useful characteristics and things. If you dont have a conscience you wont
have any humanity, and are more likely to become a deranged, corrupt, cruel, evil
criminal who enjoys making other people feel bad about themselves and other people,
who enjoys sabotaging, hurting, killing, and belittling other people. God himself is less
likely to stop crime than morality and having an actual conscience is. That is what
separates the Monster, the Devil Himself, from God and the Saints, even to this day, after
all these billions of years.
Being an author and authoring many books and graphic novels, and creating concepts for
films and TV shows, isnt just a career choice. For me, it is a matter of conscience, a
matter of the superego. My superego: If you dont make the effort to pursue a major
project, youre a coward. Youre nothing If youre not prolific at creating works of
beauty, youll be screwed and your life would be ruined. Its finishing books and comic
books in as prolific a manner as possible, or failure.

The id is my failure in life

The ego is the creative work and organization of my life I do everyday. Day to
day things
The superego is my creative achievements and accomplishments. My legacy to
society

The mystery of figuring out how to draw science-fantasy martial arts comics.
Mysteries that baffle me:

Yuen Woo-Ping style fighting moves

Fight moves in still motion
How to draw human anatomy in perspective
How to draw moving human fighting anatomy in perspective (exaggerate or
represent?)

No one can draw the page-by-page sequence of my style in action as well as I can.
New Exercise:
Copy, adapt, and re-quote visual camera shots on my TV to visually still and mute
camera shots on my page. From the TV screen to the computer paper printed penciling
page: How-To-Do-It. Key thing to ask is what to change, what to keep the same. Lets

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start off with something with a lot of dynamic motion: Old films Yuen-Woo Ping either
directed or choreographed
Analyze Yuen-Woo Ping Chinese Cinema for:
Movies have:
Sound, Motion and animation, lighting, camera shots, camera angles, movement, color,
the cinematic feel, storytelling
Comic books have:
Illustrations. Still or pause frames. Camera shots, lighting, black and white notannoir, camera angles, the cinematic feel, storytelling, artificial motion and
movement
Exercise: Movie/TV screen Pause Gesture Drawings
Wherein the composition of anatomy and background/foreground is transferred from a
paused TV screen to a raw sketchbook notebook page by creating a rough image with
pencil and/or pen.
Movies Ive applied this technique to:
Snatch, Maya Deren, Rurouni Kenshin

Recent Gundam anime series can be a bithard to understand. The franchise becomes
obscured in military jargon.
The two most complex science-fiction anime franchises would be Ghost in the Shell and
Gundam.
Slogans

Show. Dont tell.

Just do it
1 page at a time
Drawing is a process, not a product

I know some Japanese artists mock my art, for supposedly being Crude and
Simplistic, but then again, Im not here because I want to be the best artist in Japan. My
goal is to be big in America, the United States, and one of the best artists from Michigan,

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Illinois, and Florida, and if the Japanese like my work, then good. But I dont believe in
pandering to a Japanese audienceanymore anyway.
I draw as well as 1/4th of my industry heroes, Genndy (Samurai Jack), Jhonen (ZIM), and
Bruce Timm (Batman). I question whether Ill ever draw as well as Todd McFarlane
(Spawn). I dont know how good George Lucas draws. But none of those guys have had
to deal with the kind of things Ive dealt with in my personal life: The problem of having
sociopathic parents, siblings, and peers to deal with. I dont get a vibe from any of them
like they have to deal with hostile, sociopathic people all day, directly, in their daily lives.
Im not saying theyre spoiled. I kind of doubt that. But they certainly dont have to
deal with adoptive family members like Cary and Andrew, the Bad News Bears.

Applied Anatomical Perspective, and Still Motion Capture (sketching cells from
animated shows and frames from movies) are two indispensable basics that are necessary
to understand for anyone who wants to draw fighting comics, fighting storyboards, and
animate fight scenes in animation. Fighting is moving human anatomy. It has a
choreography element, a rhythmic dance element, a dynamic element, and a contortionist
element to it if its exaggerated and extreme, like what Yuen Woo-Ping does on a yearly
basis.

What I bought with my paycheck:

2 Sword Masters collection DVDs

Yuen Woo-Ping and Quentin Tarantinos Iron Monkey
The Art of Osamu Tezuka
The Art of Moebius
Power Marketing Book
Gantz anime Vol. 1 DVD
Learn Japanese audiobook CDs

Problems of my PC
Mislabeled DVD rips
Shortage of Memory
Overcrowded hard drive (undeleted, useless software)

Tuesday: Watched an entire 10 episodes of Wolfs Rain, in the living room yesterday.
Took around 5 hours in the afternoon and night to do

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Wednesday, September 01, 2010:

Wednesday: Set a new record today. I watched 15 entire whole anime episodes of 2
shows in less than one day.
Episodes Watched:
Wolfs Rain: Episodes 11 15 (out of 30)
The Vision of Escaflowne: Episodes 1 5 (out of 26)
All in all, it was a very relaxing day. It was nice sitting on the couch watching the
episodes that were playing through my PC hooked up to the TV. I should really try
internet video more often too.
The question still looms large in my head. How am I going to get animation industry
funding for Mono?
If you can make it in anime, manga, Hollywood, and Hong Kong, youve got it made.
You can make it anywhere after that. For example, Steve Blum has it made. Hes the
most Hollywood-esque man Ive ever spoken to behind the scenes. He speaks
Hollywoodese. The two biggest Hollywoodese people Ive met in the real world, in my
private life are Phil and Steve. They speak pure Hollywoodese, and do it very, very well.
Ive learned a whole lot about showbusiness and TV from them. Theyve both conquered
TV, and Steve Blum (aka David Lucas) is still doing it to this day.
Swordsmanship, marksmanship, hand-to-hand (and) unarmed combat. I like them all. If it
applies force and its efficient, graceful, and violent, I probably like it.

Foundations being builts for the rest of my life:

Screenwriting
Comic book scripting
Research and Development
Character Design
Storyboarding
Comic book drawing
Print on Demand Self Publishing
Internet Video
Marketing
PC to TV
Ripping
Pen and Ink

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Todays Haul:
Watched:
Wolfs Rain: Episodes 16 20
Escaflowne: Episodes 6 10

Connecting my laptop PC to my living room widescreen TV is like discovering Reeses

Peanut Butter and Chocolate cups for the first time, or like dating for the first time, or
likethe greatest, most comfortable and comfort-inducing invention since sliced bread.
Using this technology Ive recently discovered and started utilizing (surfing my ripped
DVD and internet video collection) is simultaneously more comfortable for me to do than
traveling, drawing, writing manifestos, AND surfing the web.
Im definitely a screenwriter. Technically I only write TV shows that are extremely
cinematic and that basically qualify as films. Filmmaking and action come first.
Animation comes second.

Most successful business people are blatant backstabbers, and do a considerable amount
of backstabbing of others, and cheating, to get ahead.
Competitor is just another way of saying sabotaging encroachment. Im not stupid.
Im well aware of the fact that the only reason I havent made any profit from my internet
ventures is because cheating and manipulative interlopers have intentionally made an
effort to interfere with my online business ventures. I havent made money because there
are people out there who are making a strong, concerted effort to interfere with and stop
that very thing. That is what competing interlopers do. Interlopers interfere with your
business and profits. They try to keep that money from getting to you and redirect its
flow to themselves. Typical aggressive business tactics.

Theres got to be some way to make money online, OTHER THAN YouTube.
Theres:
Online video publishing
Author
Inventor
Engineer

Im really not very influential on the internet. Im really only very influential when it
comes to my relationship with my friends and family, and even that is iffy at times. No

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one in the regular media really ever chooses to be influenced by or listens to me. Doesnt
really bother me, but obviously it would be easy if they did listen to me. But they dont.

I like getting a lot of alcohol consumption and pencil mileage out of a random weekday.
Thats how I like to spend my time: just drinking and drawing the entire day away, with
nothing better to do, nothing else to do. And in so doing that, I have unintentionally
become and ended up as one of the masters of The Sword & Coat fantasy genre.

Everytime I go to DA, look at the art, and especially when I read the arrogant-as-acrazy-motherfucker comments, its like I can feel it, the site or the people using their little
bad mojo to attempt to drain the strength and power right out of me. Its like they possess
some evil anti-creative energy and powerful mind games. Talk about abusing your
psychic energy. Theyre definitely a bunch of abusers on that site. I mean they are
deviant kids after all. Not surprisingly.

Im definitely a conduit for something deeper. Depth, or spiritual power and energy
perhaps. It would help to meditate more often now that Ive returned to Zen.
Im a conduit and catalyst for revolution and change wherever I go. Thats one of my
assets. I make things happen around me just by doing nothing other than being there and
minding my own business. I cause change and revolution wherever I go, by doing
nothing at all. Ive got so much power I dont have to do much of anything at all to bring
out a noticeable amount of change in the people and circumstances around me wherever I
go.
I just finished my 10th kinetic cloth page drawing today alone. Hows that for stupid.
Only 100 more pages to go.
Im going to build myself a castle over time. One that consists of an enormous solid
foundation, using the power of my precognition, to guide my way along my journey and
path. My foundation I build with my bare hands, and construct and build as a mosaic,
from the ground up, shall be the future foundation of the comic book industry. My vision
will shape the future of the entire medium. Im going to be not only a revolutionary of
design and style, but a pioneer of the new and future schools of comics. If I succeed at
comics, then eventually, I will branch out to and work the same magic with animation.
I am a mere fledgling Sword & Coat student no longer. I am now a full fledged working
Sword & Coat Master! If I dont wield a sword for animation, anime, manga, and comics,
whos going to??! If not me, then who! Ive read and studied a lot of Spawn, Star Wars,
Samurai Jack, and Conan. I just hope this newfound confidence doesnt go to my head. I
love studying genre work. And if theres one thing I love as much as studying genre
work, its studying genre-bending work. I work in the following genres: ActionAdventure, Science-Fiction. Fantasy. Speculative Fiction. Martial Arts.

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Lately, with the onset of my webcomics and my gradual exposure to the sometimes nice,
sometimes monstrous mainstream public, from Brian Johnston to Cartoon Network, I
cant help but be feeling just a little anxiety about and fear of success and fame. Ive
become a little phobic of fame and success, but especially fame. Being envied and lusted
after by various womenwell, it scared the shit out of me quite frankly, figuratively
speaking of course. Im just more than a little terrified of the fans. Theyd eat me alive in
pieces at a con somewhere if they could.
On the internet it is far too easy to become caught up in and sucked into the sea of
everyone elses bad ideas. So its best to just not go there if possible.

Im laying the groundwork for an entirely new type of production method in America for
comics and animation, that will probably be popular with and used by artists that follow
in my footsteps for years to come
Whatever little amount of money I make from my comics will go to producing and
funding my animation projects.
I much prefer categorizing my work as science-fantasy, because then it includes two
genres and all the universes within them, all at once.
If anyone is intrusive enough to enter my home, either invited or uninvited, I dont get
any work done for the rest of the day.
One of my favorite hobbies is researching, searching, compiling, ranking, and organizing
my private and personal lists online and off. For instance: My Anime List, my YouTube
Favorites list and my Amazon Wish Lists. To say nothing of my ripped video collection.
Finished watching all the 30 episodes of Wolfs Rain tonight about ten to 15 minutes ago.
Great story, great dialogue, beautiful animation, masterfully timed and plotted. Just a
perfect show in general. One of the most cinematic films Ive ever seen.

God gives the vast majority of uswith rare exceptionsto make things right in our life.
I strongly believe that, that everyone is given a chance to do the right thing at some point.
But the problem is, some of us choose not to do the right thing, or worse yet, we are
biologically and psychologically incapable of doing the right thing. Ill admit some
people naturally dont have a good intuition or even an actual conscience. But not the
majority of us.

Episodes watched today:

Escaflowne: Episodes 11 15

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The kind of comic I want to see hasnt been drawn by anybody yet. Its my job to draw
the kinds of comics I want to see.

What is a visionary? What is an auteur? Is a visionary a psychic? Does a visionary get

real or perceived visions of the near and/or distant future?
An auteur is a highly original stylist and filmmaker, and has a highly valuable and unique
style.
A visionary filmmaker is a pioneer and revolutionary, and starts movements and
revolutions in art, filmmaking, business, literature, and/or science. A visionary doesnt
just predict, foresee with farsighted foresight, and envision the future. A visionary plays
an active role in making that vision real, a manifested and living, existing, systematic
reality that came from his mind and no one elses.
Osamu Tezuka and Katsuhiro Otomo are the two main visionaries, creators, storytellers,
filmmakers, and pioneers of virtually all modern Japanese manga (first) and eventually,
anime as well (second, in both career instances). The real secret about adapting your body
of work from comics to animation is simply to use the money you make from working in
comics and literature to pay for funding and producing animation in either separate TV or
Hollywood Movie ventures or adaptations of your comics work (aka Jhonen Vasquez,
Frank Miller, George Lucas, and Todd McFarlane style.
I have the most respect for artists, writers, visionaries, and creators who can master one
or more fields or projects with equal dynamics, proficiency, and speed. There is much
Gemini in me and my spirit even if thats not my sign. Im drawn to dual symbolism,
dual roles, dual job titles, dual numbers, dual forms, and many other dual phenomena (I
have 3 parents (2 adoptive and 1 biological) who are Gemini. Dual Wielding Swords and
Guns, 2 Props (Swords and Coats) My lucky destiny number is 22, the Master
Builder and 4 which when divided by 1 becomes 2, and is also 2 + 2 and 2 x 2. Symetry
and parallel imagery and design or twinning. TWENTY-First Century, The 2000s A.D.
2012 is when the Mayan Calendar stops, leading to fear and speculation about massive
destruction in some, even ones who arent Mayan! Imagine that! Stupid. Any disasters
that happen during the year 2012 are pretty much guaranteed more hype than they
deserve, due to how paranoid the media is trying make middle America.

These Manifestos, these Journals, hold the key to the secret of a happy life in some
ways. I didnt realize it at the beginning, but I have in fact given myself a lot of hope
simply by facing my own difficult life with the same optimism, courage, and hope every
day. Through incredibly antagonizing and difficult circumstances of pain,
disappointment, loneliness, skepticism and hatred from others, and general misfortune
and setbacks, I have come to be my own hope and savior by truly working with God in

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some ways, or maybe whatever other higher force and energy power controls the
universe. My message is always one of peace, harmony, tranquility, happiness, decency,
humanity, and hope. Through true entertainment and life experience, we find true
humanity, and through true humanity we find God.
My power is Gods power. Gods awesome power is my awesome power. Through
power I find God. To better understand power of energy and Chi is to better understand
God. When I feel power, real energy and power, I feel the real God. So is it any surprise
that I want to learn how to better understand power. Because to me, that qualifies as
understanding God. Im not talking about an abuse of power. Im talking about a true
humanitarian and spiritually deeper understanding of power. Theres no abuse in that
kind of understanding at all.
Just as cussing is a sin, too much noise pollution is just as much of a sin, and should be
considered as such. If this is true, Americas roadways are essentially a Hell on Earth.
One of the unholiest places to be in the world is on a crowded, noisy road. No wonder its
so stressful to be around. In a sense, its evil. Anything that noisy and stressful is evil.
Other evil things:
Cussing
Stress
Waste
Bullies
Harassment
Spying
Stalking
Hacking
These all qualify as modern day sins.
The Ravages of Times Passed
Life in a Post-Apocalypse Jail (or) Insane Asylum / Mental Hospital.

Its often not easy to do the right thing.

Most of the people on the internet who draw manga dont seem to know the first thing
about: A) The history of Japanese manga, and B) animation production. I have an
extensive knowledge of the animation production process, both limited and full, from any
country. Its all the same essential production process, with small exceptions.
The generation of shows kids are growing up on now is depressing. They dont have as
much of a college age cult following the way the shows I grew up on did, or like anime

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nowadays does. College-aged kids of this generation love anime, boy do they love anime.
There are more girls 25 years old and younger watching animation now than ever before.
Is that a good or bad thing? Well. It kind of makes thingsdifferent. Girls never used to
watch animation in my generation growing up. Or anime and reading manga for that
matter. There was just too much other pop culture stuff to distract them. Girls, though
have clearly proven to be powerful consumers in some instance, especially in terms of
anime. Anime fangirls are incredibly proud and devoted to being fans. Of what exactly,
Im not sure, but they kind of remind me of female Jhonen Vasquez fans. Theyre quite
verbal in expressing their enthusiasm for this or that thing.
I havent drawn a comic in a long time.

In the near future, as soon as Im able to afford one, Im going to buy a new 8 x 11 inch
surfaced light box for $50 $100, to trace and clean up my sloppier and less polished
drawings, and draw over and clean up more of my past, present, and future sketches. My
drawings almost always look horrid on the first attempt, so Im going to begin making
multiple attempts at more of them once I have an electric light box, the kind comic book
inkers and animators work with. Itll be brilliant!! If anything, it will increase my
polished drawing output by quite a bit. My ultimate aim is to increase the amount of
layering and polish in each drawing, whether its a character or architecture,
compositions, and costumes.
My style is most certainly angry, violent, designy, aggressive, and big, but it is not
mean. Mean is a very popular style element with some people in entertainment,
particularly TV and movies, and especially TV. But mean is not my thing. I do my best
not to be mean, and pick on people, even when some of them are weak, that doesnt
matter to me. Why would I want to be mean to people who cant defend themselves?
As an artist, Im constantly asking myself, What would Fritz Lang do? What would Syd
Mead do? What would Jhonen do? What would Corey Senderov Jackson do? What
would Yasuhiro Nightow, Todd McFarlane, Frank Miller, and Katsuhiro Otomo do?
The absence of classic Disney nostalgia, once it was iradicated from the airwaves of
TV, actually seem to be a Pandoras box for something truly gruesome and horrible. As
soon as they stopped showing classic Disney paradigms on TV, and only showed tween
sitcoms, do you know what emerged in Disneys mysterious classical animation absence?
Horrors that must not be named from the abyss of TV production Hell! Unholy
manifestations like To Catch a Predator, Im With Busey, Drake and Josh, iCarly,
Hannah Montana, and Family Guy. All equally horrible. It turns out as soon as society
and humanity was left with out a humanitarian role model to turn to on a daily basis
(Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny, Walt Disney, Tex Avery, Spielberg), people started using
the very television entertainment shows what large amount of power they had, to kill
the closest person TO THEM. Horrifying shit. Thats what happens when society doesnt
have positive role models. Society massacres itself with the next, epically worse thing.
Thank god for real role models like Jhonen, Steve Blum, Williams Street, anime, John

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Lasseter, YouTube, and Google. Googles right. Dont be evil.. Unfortunately not
everyone in TV heeds this grim but smiling warning. I know a small group of influential
people in anime, the most influential group of all, hate stuff like 4Kids and Mickey
Mouse and wanted them driven out of town, but when I compare them to the horrors we
have seen in primetime during their absence, I realize they arent so bad.

I dont know if this is a widely held view, but manga and indie comics and action comics,
in a way, making them production wisesince its one person doing his own thing and
not a whole studio systemis a lot more like rock n roll and badass heavy metal and
great music than TV animation is. Its the same thing with regular books. Youre free to
do as much as you want to, as much as people want you to, and as much as youre able
to. Its a lot like recording music. Youre harnessing the very energy that comes out of
you, to a badass distinctive style. Art is music and comics. Art is subjective so you never
know whos going to like what, or hate what. But when you think about it, each comic
book storyteller and illustrator-designer-author has their own unique and energy fueledrhythm of doing things. Every time I draw Mono, its like making a thumb print. It is so
my own that theres no way of mistaking it. Drawing with pens and pencils on paper, at a
table, with a light box or without one for cleanup, is like playing a musical instrument.
Because its creative art, what comes out is ALWAYS your own. You just show up, do
your thing, use your pencil, guitar drumset or whatever, then leave after your done, and if
you do that successful you will have captured something on audio or paper, something
unique, and your own, and stylish, and spontaneous. Such a beautiful thing. I was a
drummer before I was an artist, in junior high, and I learned a lot of things about the
creative process and drawing in general as a result of all my time spent practicing the
drums. I love the ad lib, experimental, spontaneous freestyling element of the two art
forms: Music and art.
At one point in my tale of heroic fantasy starring Mono Jubei, Mono becomes Knighted
by the Mongolian Emperor of the 20,000 year old Eastern Chronis Region, some time
after the New Earth media journalists find out he is the True Reincarnation of an ancient
and quite famous warrior of legend: The Legendary Jubei of Southeastern Chronis. High
Fantasy often does not have an equivalent of East Asia, unless we count the savages of
some of the regions Conan of Cimmeria explores. Im planning to build my heroic
fantasy world just a little bit differently than Robert E. Howard built Cimmeria. My
world is a bit different than the one real people live in. Its not billions of years old. It
was created in a Big Bang situation tens of thousands of years ago, and it takes place in a
future-based alternate-Earth timeline.
My style, in a short amount of time seems to be turning from Tim Burton meets Blade
Runner to Moebius meets Conan, at least for now.
For the most part, not even established Western animation industry veterans in America
know the first thing about making authentic Japanese anime, from either a technical or
production standpoint. The only book on the subject so far has been from the How To
Draw Manga series, Making Anime, which quite frankly wasnt as insightful or

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technical as it had the chance to be. There is no bible of western How to Make Anime
book series. There are documentaries of studios and creators, forewards to biographies,
history books, coffee table books, and creators/produce memoirs, but not production
reference books meant to cover that exclusive topic. The Americans dont know enough
about anime to write one, and the Japanese are too secretive to write one and unwilling to
share technical information, due to how valuable information and statistics are considered
in Asia. In Japanunlike it is in the westanimation production techniques and methods
are anything but transparent to the general public, anywhere in the world, let alone Japan.
Ive seen The Disney Notes, but I havent seen any such notebook equivalent from
Japan, whether in private or on the internet, so Im skeptical as to whether or not a
Japanese equivalent exists.

My career has been one continuous battle against everything in the world to get my job
done: Writing and drawing comics. Ive faced obstacles and tests at every level.
According to folklore, Im actually really good at drawing a crowd. I am a PR marketer
of packed crowds.

At least half of the news about anime and the anime players and industry out there, in
Japan, South Korea, China is either fabricated and biased by the people writing it, or
severely misinformed, mostly because its not coming from the source. Well, that and
Japan is one of the largest misinformation capitals of the world. America has the stress of
information overload. Japan and China definitely have the opposite of what America has,
as far as information circulation is concerned. Bad news never travels up.

So since I cant be Japanese, whatever it is that Moebius did, I want to do that. Be the
greatest comic book artist in the history of the contemporary world, a great that inspires
the greats. Im planning on making an AMERICAN TV animated series, and an
AMERICAN comic series, and an AMERICAN animated film. Its just easier to sell that
way.
Ive seen the limits of my success. Im not that lucky. Im not that bad and Im not that
good. Im actually kind of bland. Ill never be worshipped by fanatics the way David
Lucas and Jhonen Vasquez are, or even Masashi Kishimoto for that matter. Im just not a
big enough star. I dont even have local credibility. The biggest Ive ever been and ever
will be was during art school at the Art Institute. I probably wont succeed in publishing.
Im better off drawing my 6001,200 pages in private and then filing it away in a
drawer for the rest of my life, let it sit there for years, then either take that book to the
grave with me or eventually scan the pages and submit it somewhere
Things I can do with a light box:
Draw more than 1 character on a page (tracing)

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Draw a full composition (BG and character, tracing)

Ive definitely deluded myself in some ways, in terms of the actual limits of my abilities.
Ive learned that Im not really able to draw 600 pages, either now or ever. I can barely
manage 1 page, let alone 10, 20, or 40. So Im going to make my goals more realistic.
Instead of attempting to draw a big stack of pages, Ill focus on a few thumbnails of
panels at a time, and 1 comic book page at a time, for a very long time, referring to the
storytelling abilities of Moebius. 1 page is enough work. Im aiming to finish 1 page or
maybe 2 or 3 in the next ten years. I need to slow down my pace.

If you can think like Moebius when drawing, youre basically also thinking like Otomo
as well, because in Otomos technique and approach he also wanted to think like
Moebius, and Moebius wanted to think like Katsuhiro Otomo. One thought like the other,
back and forth. Both thought like each other. Both used the super-laying hyper-detailing,
and kaleidoscope textures technique. Im planning on imitating that style. I want to
master the art of cramming kaleidoscopic textural forms, or kaleidoscope-textures into
one individual place, especially with buildings, mountains, machinery, mecha, and
production design of any and all backgrounds. I want to be as good as Moebius one day. I
want to master the Kaleidoscope-Textures Technique that both Moebius and Otomo
mastered by the age of 30 to 40. Kaleidoscope-Texturesdespite their complexity and
eloquencehave a certain denseness, density and thickness to their line quality.
Every single part of every single line feels pressed together, which is very aesthetically
pleasing.

Lets see, I have:

S-angles
Fractal Lines
Notan
Black Overlap
Aspect Angle
Kaleidoscope Texture Layering and Bells and Whistles (Masking)
Favorite Artists:
Windsor McCay
Walt Disney
Max Fleischer
Chuck Jones
Herge (Tintin)
Osamu Tezuka
Moebius

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John Buscema
Frank Frazetta
Katsuhiro Otomo
Todd McFarlane
Jim Lee
Joe Mad
Dave Sim and Gerhard
Stan Sakai
Hiroaki Samura
Tim Burton
Syd Mead
Ralph McQuarie
Alan Lee
Rembrandt
Eugene Delacroix
Leonardo
Romanticism
Production I.G.
Gonzo
Jhonen Vasquez
Jared Hodges and Lindsey Cibos
Fred Gallagher
DeviantART
Dead Leaves Director

Places to showcase my artwork online:

JMstrebler.com
Webcomics Nation
Photobucket
Blogger
DeviantART
Lulu

At long last Im at a level Im actually satisfied with quite a bit in my new artwork. Its a
level I just reached today, even without a light box. After working that hard, I feel like I
can give myself permission to sit on my ass and rest for a little bit, at least for now, and
just relax, waiting for tomorrow to come, because Ive done more than enough of my fair
share of production design for today. All Ill say is I finally feel like Im actually learning
to think like Moebius would, as an illustrator and artist, if that makes any sense. Kind of
like how I tried to think like Frank Miller and Bruce Timm with my Parallax covers. Now
Im dumping the black temporarily and trying out an entirely new, entirely revivalist
style. Its looks more like a Moebius-Otomo production design piece from the 60s and

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80s than anything else Ive done up till this point. And with some luck it will eventually
morph into a permanent fixture in my synthetic style.

As an artist, speaking specifically as an artist, I have strong emotional reactions about the
behind-the-scenes production quality of my drawings. Whether or not Im happy about
my life and the drawings I do as a result has a heavy influence on the emotional state of
my life. If I do a bad, weak, timid, or shoddily produced drawing, it fills me with
depression and despair about my career and daily life. If I do a truly good, literary or
cinematic drawing or illustration, it fills me with deep happiness and hope for the future
of my career and personal well being. It feels almost as good as getting paid and spending
money, to me. The quality of my drawings I do each time heavily influence my emotional
stability and outlook towards my career. Im rarely happy if Im not doing drawings Im
happy with, and the more time I spend on my drawings often equates with the happier
they sometimes make me. Quality influences Emotional Stability and Career Emotions.

My ultimate career goal is to achieve a godlike omnipresence in whatever industry it is I

choose to work in. If youre the most influential person in a medium or genre, youre the
Ubiquitous and Omnipresent God of that genre. For instance, Osamu Tezuka is
considered the God of Manga, and therefore is also considered ubiquitously
omnipresent in all subsequent manga visions and creators who followed him, including
his protg Otomo Katsuhiro.

You can literally feel the presence and revolutionary impact of Moebius and Otomo in
hundreds of comic book, animation, and illustrative artists, mainstream and otherwise,
today, from Dragonball to Spawn. Naruto. From Invader Zim to Avatar.

I always did feel that when brought together in print form, these journals would make for
one hell of a damn good read, and they did! (Manifesto Vol. I IV). Thats my own
personal, unedited literary mosaic. Waitll you see what I can do with a comic page.

I seem to have gained back my talent for drawing again. Im actually as good as Ive been
saying I am for the last decade and a half, once again. All Ive really got to do is keep up
the nice work, and keep striving for high amounts of kaleidoscope textures, or detail,
which is the more simple way of putting it. This feels very right to me. Designing and
drafting at this high of a level, both a national and international level.

In terms of online art, theres way too much human-anatomy-based non-architectural,

non-geometric drawings going around. Apparently, most young artists online only want
to draw people, hardly ever buildings or kaleidoscope textures on mecha, production
design, and architecture.

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Background Music is vital to making good art. So are food and drinks

Live Action Film Directors (Favorites)

Akira Kurosawa
Yuen Woo-Ping
Steven Spielberg
Alfred Hitchcock
Fritz Lang
D.W. Griffith
Maya Deren
Ridley Scott
John Woo
Quentin Tarantino
George Lucas
Orson Welles
M. Night Shyamalan
Stanley Kubrick
Sergei Eisenstein
Ridley Scott
Peter Jackson
James Cameron
Tim Burton

My abilities to invent original filmmaking, art, and literature have always been one huge
puzzle to me. I mean, seriously. What better puzzle is there than How do you create one
of the worlds greatest, most perfect comic book graphic novel masterpieces, in this or
any other era? Thats a huge puzzle! A riddle! Even to this day, How to make your own
well made, epic graphic novel and successfully execute and finish it is a mystery! Thats
one problematic puzzle, I really, really want to solve. Every person who has written a
script or novel has solved the mystery of how to write a screenplay or novel. Anyone
whos created and published a draft of a graphic novel has solved the secret of how to
make a graphic novel. Those who do, know How To.
Learning to harness the great power to accomplish great things will not come to the 22

in his/her early years.

-Numerologist
And then theres that.
Everywhere I go, websites, outside, traffic, therapists, parents, family, TV Shows,
press, newsmakers and journalists, the law, filmmakers, actors, comedians, talk
show hosts, the government, people who are It, rivals, enemies, friends, media
companies, celebrities, are all coming at me, rushing me, fighting and crawling over

P a g e | 638

eachother in competition to get a piece of my attention, presence, and time. I cant

handle success. I try to escape it, but everywhere I go someone wants to relate to me and
grab a piece of my time, or at the very least my permanent or even temporary attention. I
dont know what to do anymore. I cant handle all this pressure of all these people
rushing at me. Its like playing in a football game and Ive got the football on the field.
Everyone is rushing me! Auughh!! People are watching my every move. Technology
makes it so were ALL celebrities. But especially me because I am one of the masters and
Kings of new technology. Im not used to having no privacy. Its scary having a larger
than life reputation and persona. Its noisy and crazy and you just dont know how to
please everybody. Im not sure WHY exactly everyone is approaching me in such a
blatant, at times desperate way. Endless questions and inquiries, both in private and on
the internet communities.

Hidden within the second drawer of my writing desk in my bedroom is a blank version of
the book I keep envisioning myself drawing, writing, authoring, and creating. Its there
for safe storage. Its a blank manuscript. The manuscript of what will become my future
graphic novel Parallax. It will be the very same stack of pages I will draw cartoons and
comics onuntil finally, one day all the pages will be filled up with visual narrative, and
the story will be completed. Its the safe storage of my lifes work. The great graphic
novel, the book of JM, that will eventually be completed one day. All 700800 pages of
it, all in a pile

Mono does have a weakness: His occasional anger and rage if people mess with his head
too much. That and the fact that he cant stand to see those who are weaker than him
victimized or hurt by stronger people. But that last ones more of a virtue. Its really only
a weakness or Achilles heel in the minds of his enemies of course.
Drawing, or any type of work for that matter, kind of makes me feel dead inside. No
wonder I dont like it. I die a little inside every time I attempt it, and especially when I
fail at it. I die a little inside every time I look at DeviantART.

My foreign language education audiobook CDs came today. Looks like a lot of fun,
learning the basics of foreign language. Could prove to be very useful at some point in
the future.

Anime fans who watch animemuch as I love animewill never be the majority of
Floridians. Even Im smart enough to know that much from living here this long.
Anata wa ka enays ka? (Do you understand?)

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Today is such a boring day. Well, at least its a quiet day, for the most part. It was quite a
bit noisier this morning, but now all that has gone away.

Recently Ive begun taking up an anti-consumerism, anti-capitalism stance. Only morons

believe they always need things like money and whatever money buys. That is a false
American Prophecy. A False Delusion, encouraged by the mainstream media, and some
independent media as well. Do you need money to survive? some may ask. Not
necessarily. Ive never had more than $500 - $1,000 at any one given time, and Ive
survived enough to eat to much and become obese off of pharmaceutical prescription
antipsychotic weight-gainer medication in the last 26 years. Oddly enough, being broke
has made me fatter and more comfortable (America). Not starving and less
comfortable (Africa) Clearly I havent needed money that much. Ive really only felt I
needed it, despite the fact that Ive never actually needed it on a larger scale for my entire
life. My parents have been amazing providers and have paid for the vast majority of
things in my life, and theyre not even anywhere close to being rich. Theyre middle class
at the most, and yet theyve still provided me with one of the most comfortable, nonlaborious, unintentionally pro-sedentary lives possible in the history of the Twenty-First
Century. Did I suffer a lot, did I get persecuted and bullied and threatened and harassed?
Yes, but who hasnt. And besides, even after all that unemployment. I was born into
getting to live in a big, food and drink-stocked, comfortable, air conditioned house in a
mostly peaceful neighborhood, and I didnt have to pay for such a lifestyle
Most of my suffering has come from fretting over potential financial shortcomings in the
future. But thats more than a 50% chance of being decades from now. But either way,
Im not worried about the present, just the future, which is better than having to worry
about where I am now.
Chapter 100: Trial By Embarrassment

Thaumaturgy List:
Todd McFarlane Miracle Performed: Created and Drew Spawn
Picasso Miracle Performed: Invented Cubism, Revolutionized Art
Bill Gates Miracle Performed: Created, Wrote, and Drew Cerebus the Aardvark
Katsuhiro Otomo Miracle Performed: Authored Akira
Bill Gates Miracle Performed: Invented Windows, Founded Microsoft

What Im drinking, all within the same timespan:

Smirnoff, Coffee Jumbo Cup, Pepsi Max, Red Bull Sugar Free
You got to keep hydrated. And caffeinated.

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Horoscope notes, about Me i.e. You

Disciplinary, stability, determination, practicality

Teaching through experience
Mature, serious, quiet, emotionally detached
Stability and determination in ones personality
Extremely serious, difficulty taking matters lightly
Fear of failure
Imagination and vision on high
Deservedly popular with all kinds of people
Rocklike character
Stick-to-it-ness, Backbone of companies
Little understanding of how you appear to others
Unphotogenic, likeness on film is extremely poor
Film fails to capture my true appearance
Great appreciation for education
Tendency to retain fluids
Sensitivity to medicine
People and creatures in need gravitate to me, sensing my compassion
I need peaceful surroundings in order to flourish
Periods of solitude are essential for my emotional balance and well being
Parapsychology
They have a nave charm about them that people find attractive
You have large dreamy eyes with a faraway look and an angelic face
You may be totally unaware that you have any faults
The world of their imagination and fantasy is very real to them, a place to escape
to when the outer world becomes too noisy, demanding, or simply uninteresting.
Be careful not to put yourself in harms way
You will face life trials of humility and pride
You do not expect others to take care of you, and sometimes refuse or simply do
not seek outside help
You are often very ambitious, but quietly so
You are very concerned with how you appear to society, your rank?
You dont just project confidence. You simply ooze it
You want to appear successful, and you generally succeed
You are big on family and forever worry about security, for you and your
dependents
If success seems to come easy to you, it hasnt
You practice some form of self-denial and reserve
Their quiet air of success is often the result of conscious effort
They are success stories. Their childhoods may have been difficult, but they
slowly but surely turn their lives around.
They feel more comfortable with formality

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Consciously or subconsciously, they specifically choose the company of people

who make them look good
Some of these individuals practice strict self denial, while others abandon
themselves to hedonistic pleasures as a form of self-destruction. They may exhibit
both types of behavior. At every turn they confront fear and insecurity. How well
they deal with the conflict makes their success as well-adjusted adults
There is always a choice to be made, and the right one is never easy because it
usually involves success which must be earned

So apparently some strangers can commit third degree felonies against me quite publicly,
unashamedly so, and no one even tries to apprehend them. They just sit back and LET IT
HAPPEN, purely because deep down the spectators of these crimes dont like me much
more, if at all, than the perpetrators committing the crime first hand, and publicly no less.
What a crock of bullshit.

Why does everyone talk about me like Im their best friend or something? Im not your
friend. Not at all.
Welcome one. Welcome all! Its time for another wonderful episode of everybodys
favorite Documentary Show, This Is Your Death! Where people DIE in REAL life! Only
on TV!!!
Man, I am so glad Im never really a part of thatgarbage. It takes more than a
resemblance of a contestants name or face written in a Death Note to get me to actually
participate in something that evil.

Even when you get discouraged, its important never to give up, even when it feels like
the world has turned its back on you. I gave up one time and one time only, around 2-4
months back, but that didnt last and I soon came to my senses. I can never give up for
good. Its too worth it to ever stop doing what Im doing.
Why is my mom so nice to my prick-fucker backyard neighbors, even when theyre mean
as shit. They smell like shit too. Fuck them. Theyre a bunch of pricks and can go get
fucking ran over by a semi truck like they deserve to for all I care. I refuse to place nice
with those faggots. Ill start all the shit I want with them, and theres not a goddam thing
my mommy can do about it. Fuck them. Fuckers.

Ah, I can always count on retreating into my inner world, my inner universe of fantasy if
the real world gets tough, noisy, antagonistic and frightening. My room is a definitely a
miniature 10 x 10 fortress of creativity, intellectualism, and imagination, through which I
often escape with my eyes closed into the realm of my inner consciousness, the realm of
my minds eye. Ive spent entire days day dreaming and living in the inner universe
inside my head. Aspergers allows me to channel that inner imagination realm. Its a

P a g e | 642

world I often make real and tangible with a pen (or) pencil and paper, or a word processor
screen. Reality isnt safe for me. It frightens me away, says bad things to me, vicious and
sociopathic things as manifested in the people near and surround me, following me
around, talking through walls and car windows. Its horrible. I retreat into the inner realm
of my own imagination and mind.
But then again, thats the life Ive chosen. The life of a secular modern day prophet and
Mystical Contemporary World Visionary. A heretic. A Shaman. I always get visions of
the things I build before I build them, in some way or another.

I like anime.
ANIME?? ANIME?? DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE INTO ANIME
NOWADAYS!!!!!?? Modern anime is for uber-nerds and DeviantART super-losers!
Youre better off listening to your own dads record collection, which is awful by the
way.
Whenever I die, my death is clearly going to be low profile, some odd decades from now.
Im not famous enough for anyone to care about when I die. Im fine with that, actually. I
dont really want to be remembered anyway. Honestly I could care less. Why would I
want to end up like Kurt Cobain with some kind of tormented death anyway. People
mocked his death when it first happened, and my adoptive mom still said he died a
druggie, his mind was really screwed up on all kinds of drugs to this day anyway. I
dont expect much better than that anyway. Why should I seek more respect and
acknowledgement than that anyway. Why would I want everyone to respect my death
like they do Satoshi Kon. Im well aware that would never happen to me. No ones going
to be that nice to it. Im very used to it by now. Nothing offends or angers me anymore.
I know exactly how Ill die. An invisible event most likely, just like what happened
with Brian Johnston. You really cant take credit for something like that, for the actions
of a person like Brian Johnston. His friend is still dead because of him. And it was
actually featured in the actual news and media. Nothing will change that. I cant do
anything about how Ill actually eventually leave this world, or my career, so I dont fret
over it. Theres really nothing I can do about it.

The fans will NEVER find me. And I couldnt be happier about that fact. Im a hermit.
No one finds real hermits. Some fans are dangerous, thoughtless, and mean, and want to
hurt and ruin you, or so I hear. Fans are still going to have sex with someone, but its not
going to be me, thank god. Ive already dodged that bullet by quite a bit. Why DOES
Jhonen like groupies so much anyway. Jhonen likes emo and gothic girls. Im not into
anything like that.

P a g e | 643

Favorite symbols:
Sword
Cape
Trenchcoat
Black suits
Gun
Fighting
Rain, Light, Beacons
Architecture
Mythology
Hero
Flight
Duel
Armed Forces
Investigator
Technology
Cyberpunk
Quest
These commentaries are no longer about myself as an individual. Theyre about the inner
realm of my imagination.
Forgive them lord above. They know not what awesome and mighty powers they toy
with. That would be me of course. Author of 1,000s of written pages. Builder of great
worlds and industries and companies: New Earth, Parallax, Mono, DeviantART, Google,
YouTube anime, anime, manga, Time Warner, Adult Swim, Toonami, Mature
Animation, online video, the Internet Industry and Community Worldwide. I have build
myself an empire of great influence and broad, stable reach.
Barack Obama is the most eloquent public speaker in the world right now. I believe that
is where quite a bit of his heart and power comes from, his booming well spoken voice,
and his Grand Vision. He is in fact a very good president.

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P a g e | 645

Chapter 23
(Windows XP)

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Friday, September 17, 2010

Ive just realized. If I attain my ideal level of powerassuming I have any now or in
the future to begin withbeing powerful enough in my eyes will always be being too
powerful in my competitions eyes. Some people think Im already too powerful, and I
havent even really been all that busy with work or anything of that nature.

Brilliant examples of people working from source material good rip-off examples

Kristy Lijewski working from Bleach and Tite Kubo

Lesean Thomas working from Aaron McGruder and Shonen manga
The Dragonball Z TV Show staff working from Akira Toriyamas Dragonball Z
manga
Ted Blackman working from Mister X
Bruce Timm working from Frank Miller
Todd McFarlane working from Katsuhiro Otomo, Yasuhiro Nightow, and Jack
Kirby
Jeff Smith working from Walt Disney
Osamu Tezuka working from Sergei Eisenstein, Walt Disney, Fleischer, and
Maya Deren
Katsuhiro Otomo working from Moebius and Stanley Kubrick
Steven Spielberg working from Hitchcock and Orson Welles
Quentin Tarantino working from John Woo and the French New Wave
The Wachowski brothers working from Ghost in the Shell
The Avatar animation studio working from Cowboy Bebop and martial arts
John Lasseter working from Classical 2-D Animation (Chuck Jones, Walt Disney)
Dean Motter and Mister X working from classic live action film architecture
Production IG and Ghost in the Shell working from Akira and Katushiro Otomo
George Lucas CGI team working from Genndy Tartakovskys 2-D Clone Wars
rendition
Corey Senderov Jackson working from Jhonen Vasquezs I Feel Sick and Nny
books
M. Night Syamalan working from Hitchcock and Spielberg
Michael Moorcocks elric borrowing from Robert E. Howards Conan the
Barbarian
Frank Miller working from Japanese Notan, film noir, and Conan
Ridley Scotts Blade Runner borrowing from Fritz Langs Metropolis
Cerebus borrowing from Conan and Lord of the Rings
Lord of the Rings borrowing from Homers Classic Mythology Literature
George Lucass Star Wars borrowing from Joseph Campbell Mythology and
Kurosawa
Final Fantasys Cloud Strife borrowing from Nintendo and Miyamotos Zelda
Satoshi Tajiris lovable Pokemon world borrowing from the Shigeru Miyamoto
universe

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Masashi Kishimoto borrowing the Shonen action look from Dragonball

Every artist in modern history borrowing in some way from Picasso / The
Renaissance
Tom Morello, Limp Bizkit borrowing power riffs from Primus
South Park borrowing shock humor from Beavis/Butthead.
Family Guy borrowing pushing the envelope topic-shock humor from South
Park
Spawn Animated Series borrowing Adult animation style from Aeon Flux
Genndy Tartkovsky borrowing popular Samurai Lore with Samurai Jack
Miyazaki borrowing techniques from the staff that did The Last Unicorn
Tool and Alex Grey borrowing Visionary Artist styling from Ken Wilber
Japan borrowing gothic and angular design elements from Tim Burton
Jhonen Vasquez borrowing literary stylings from HP Lovecraft
Kill Bill borrowing the same Action Scene Choreographer from The Matrix and
paying form and genre homage tributes to all major movies of its genre
Jackie Chan borrowing from the Choreography of Yuen Woo Ping
Akira Kurosawa borrowing literary merits from Shakespeare

3 Common Characteristics about Animation Magazines 40 Auteurs We Love list

(1987-2007)

None of them grew up on the internet

By now, theyre all at least 30 to 40 years old or older each
All of them (by now) have been working in their prime for at least 20 years (872007)

My career goal is to make it onto a media press influence list like the 40 Auteurs list that
Animation Magazine does every once in a while.
The two most influential Beloved Lists are:
Manga-Ka America (comics)
Animation Magazines 40 Auteurs We Love (animation)
Animation Magazines 20 Shows That Changed Our Toon Landscape (animation)

My cleaned up panel artwork is often not up to par with my preliminary and sketchbook
artwork. Probably its not as good because my mind is uptight with a self-imposed
cleanup uptight mindset. My arms get really uptight because I know thats The final
image dun dun dun! And my perfectionist stiff arm-hand takes over almost immediately.
Ive got to find a way to make my cleanup paneling process more laid back and relaxed.
Like cool dadeyo. Cool, relaxed, and laid back when drawing panels, thats me.

P a g e | 648

Art book Subjects:

Todd McFarlane
Frank Miller
Bruce Timm
Min-Woo Hyung
Paul Pope
Greg Capullo
Jhonen Vasquez
Yoshiyuki Sadamoto
Yasuhiro Nightow
Frank Frazetta
Katsuhiro Otomo
Osamu Tezuka

Ive got to get better at cleaning up my own artwork. Its time to switch from pen to
mechanical pencil. And get eraser happy, and revisionist-happy, and go power mad with
the eraser on my line-work. I can do this! Yeah!
Im beginning to question my art power, and my power over my own bedroom. Do I even
have the power to clear a path to my drawing desk, let alone clear all the junk off of the
surface of the desk?
Also, is it Animation Doomsday? Im hardly seeing any outlets for new animation on TV.
Most of it is reruns and Japanese anime, in terms of late prime night time material.
Theres a lot of new material on places like DeviantART, but very little of it has
substance, and a lot of it is international, which means it doesnt really count in the place
I live in (The U.S.).

BOOKMARK
I know what it is all my new art until today (when I drew Mono holding a Giant Cannon
Gun) has been missing. Its been missing that 90s sense of funk and surrealism, that
artists like Jamie Hewlett (with Tank Girl) and Rob Schrab (with Scud: The Disposable
Assassin) did in the 90s. The Dead Leaves anime director and Thomas Romain
(Basquash) also have that extreme, explosive, aperspectival sense of cartoonish Tex
Avery like sense of exaggeration that works so well in illustration. And also, John K is
good at that sort of thing too. And Jim Mahfood used to have it as well. Hell, just about
everyone used to draw that way in the indie comic book scene of the 90s. I am a big fan
of the bowlegged cannon gun poses Jamie Hewlett has been so fond of in illustrating his
book Tank Girl. This type of John K style might work well with my action sequence
illustrations, panels, and drawings.

P a g e | 649

Recent Art-Related Topics Ive covered

Light box
Revisions
700 pg. Sketchbook
Cleanup work
Funky Style (Schrab, Kricfalusi)
Finished Art Illustrator Mentality

I must be terrified of sex. I dreamt I was on a ledge, and some girl kept trying to walk up
to me, I kept trying to warn her to stop, get away from me, and not go near me, as there
was a poisonous snake right next to her that ignored her in favor of baring its fangs at me
and hissing at me. When the girl remained still, nothing happened, when she kept began
walking toward where I was standing on the ledge of the building, the snake began to
crawl along side her, and show its fangs and venom leaking from its fangs too. The girl
was unaware that every time she approached me, a poisonous snake would always try to
beat her to the punch and bite/kill me with its poison drenched fangs before she could
reach me, until I broke down and cried on the rooftop, yelling at everyone not to come
any closer.

My self is my own biggest brand asset, even if all I do is hide. Even if I do never
officially show up on TV, Im being judged by other people every day of my life. I guess
Id better work on refining my image, whether its staying clean or losing weight. I bet
Ill take a shower every day. Hey hey hey hey.
But still, a question arises. How can I take advantage of and exploit this newfound famed
reputation and newfound awareness people have of me 24/7. Im sure theres some way I
can spin it to win it, i.e. make it work to my advantage, as opposed to disadvantage. If
people are so concerned and worried about my hygiene and health, I could always
focus on that, making it perfect for when the public does see it, which is inevitable. That
fame of my reputation will eventually happen. To a degree, that fame of my brand
reputation already is out there. But it could be more. I could always stand to be more
clean and work harder than I already do. Next up: cleanliness and Lulu publishing of my
sketchbook.
I dont know what to do. Google Adsense made my Earnings page dead and inactive, and
cut me off from their system, essentially leaving me with no way to make any money or
revenue whatsoever from the web. Adsense ripped me off! People will figure out what
theyre up to eventually, the Monopoly Google, Adsense, and YouTube have on internet
money, that they are unwilling to share with their perceived pro-Google prosumers
employees like myself. Im money, and yet I never have any. Something crooked,
corrupt, fraudulent and seriously suspicious is happening with Googles internet inside

P a g e | 650

workings. They can use all the PR they want as camouflage. That doesnt change the fact
that theyre ripping their biggest fans off. So if Im not going to make easy money with
AdSense, as was promised to me, how can I make money online, anyway? Is it possible
to make money online from ratings that arent Google. The biggest mystery stumping
every web entrepreneur online is how to convert page views to dollars.
Ive really got to get used to the backlash that almost always goes with trying to earn a
profit. Competitors will always be willing to call you evil purely because you want to
make a living, which is flat out bullshit.
Hmm. Thats odd. Maybe my account was just broken, because as soon as I turned it on
again, I earned a quarter. Maybe Im smarter than people give me credit for when it
comes to money. Heh heh. Ill shut up and stop talking if you pay me. Ha ha!
Who says ranting never got you anywhere. I made at least 1 quarter online from ranting.
And Ill continue to not complain anymore if I keep earning, because the whole not
profiting thing was the entire reason I started ranting. That did make me pretty happy to
see I earned a quarter today though. Thats a lot of money by internet standards, and a
hell of a start considering I made NO monies last month. My CPC percentages were up
today, and as a result, I got a lot of money for fewer views. It truly is a miracle.
Heh. Yep. I accept both hush money and bribes to stop complaining and talking in
general.
It feels as though my little mini windfall has restored some of my faith in the Adsense
system. I also realized today that it never updates the figures at the same time. The closest
its ever come to being consistent in updates is updating hourly every so often, which is
probably better than no reliability.
Man, it is obvious YouTube is a marketing goldmine. If you hype and market the right
thing on YouTube, people will flock to it! What other website has that high of a customer
conversion rate?? Its just too bad theres not more websites like it that have that big of
an instant audience. It truly is a once in a lifetime opportunity, particularly in terms of
marketing. Having a video page with that kind of visibility is a miracle in this day in age.
I can only think of a handful of other events, places, people, TV shows, movies, DVDs,
and websites with that kind of visibility. Puts me in awe and makes me jealous all at the
same time. I wish I had that kind of visibility. But I dont. Most tend to overlook me in a
way they never would those things. My self occasionally gets some good visibility, and
so do my accomplishments and ideas, but for some reason it never feels like its enough to
make me feel smug or arrogant in any way whatsoever. And a lot of people talk
directly about my hype. Very few though actually talk about me. Surprisingly little
considering how much they know of me in some ways.
It is pretty true. Despite the good intentions of my overprotective parents, I am ill
prepared for adult life. Subconsciously I in some ways show a desire to be young forever,
and thats hardly ever, if ever a good thing. I dont know the first thing about surviving in

P a g e | 651

the real world. My parents did little to no prep work in that department, other than maybe
trying to pull some strings for me with a partial scholarship to art school (which was
eventually ruined by me unintentionally for overdosing on real world freedom anyway).

My artwork lies somewhere in the intermediate skill level for the rest of my life, Im
afraid. Its not a completely simple iconic style, and its not the most detailed
kaleidoscope textural style either. It has elements of both. I will never completely match
the artistic drafting power of an artist like Todd McFarlane and Katsuhiro Otomo, but I
also wont be the simplest draftsman in the world either, which is a relief. Too much art
coming out of the pipeline lately is about superficial substance, and little to no originality
or style. Middle level is a level I can definitely live up to.

Recently, the Adsense payment threshold has been reduced, quite dramatically, from
$100 to a mere $10. Ive got less than $2 to go.

My style is now more than enough detailed to be profitable for me.

There is no better or worse between artists. There are differences in style. But one artists
way of drawing is never superior to anothers, regardless of detail level. Not everyones
art needs to look alike, and no one persons art is better than the next persons. Everyone
has their own individual pace and style, and one artist trying to force others to conform to
their way of approaching art is fascism of the art world.

Every time I make a move, someone else always does to, in an attempt to keep in step
with my rhythm.
So Ive just found out about a driving service called car sharing and Car rentals, that
cost $25/hour. Thats amazingly cheap. I could easily rent a car of some type for $25, and
hire one of my friends, family members, or acquaintances to drive me around the country
that way. Awesome!

For me, its going to take Faith to succeed. Faith in numerous things. Faith in myself;
Faith in my own Power; Faith in my creative skill level; Faith in the profitability of my
talent; Faith in my true audience and colleagues, and Faith in my Grand Pioneering
Vision.
My drawing level is permanently stuck as intermediate, middle, slightly advanced,
some would say mediocre also. Not me though. And you know, for once I am okay
with that. Id rather be a mediocre underated, obscure moderately talented illustrator
drawing 20-50 drawings a day than an impressive fancy style anime genius drawing only

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1 or 2 sketches a day, cuz he cant get off of his lazy ass. If success is going to make me
less productiveand it hasthen Im going to go in the opposite direction and become
unpopular but very, very productive.
Art List
Tank Girl
Spiral Notebook Comics
Light Table
Moebius-Otomo-Ghost in the Shell
Mechanical Pencil
Mediocre hyper-productivity
Cleanup
Scanning and Uploading Proportions to WCN

An anime and manga can always stand to be darker and more macabre. Blacker and
blacker. Black as metal times infinity. Japanese are too light. Dark anime just isnt.
Japanese artists tend to be rather clueless in terms of how to present a dark and macabre
vision that scares people and gives children nightmares. Jhonen Vasquez, Tim Burton,
Spawn, and Batman dont have a gothic equivalent in Japan. I love dark and macabre. I
love action movies from Asia. I also love magical fantasy of an epic scale.
At first I strived for Genius. Then I strived for Influence. Then I strived for Detail. Then I
strived for Power. Whatever the Highest Ideal is, naturally, by nature, Im always going
to have a subconscious perfectionist desire to strive for that. Ive always strived, against
both society and my own timid introverted nature, to create the none other than what I
like to refer to as The Great American Magnum-Opus, Manifested and Transcribed
Directly from my Imaginations Minds Eye.
I couldnt help but notice I like to deal with big things. As they say in hip-hop, I like to
do it big. And as they say in science, I am a Big Thinker. Big with a capital B. Most of
the time, the Bigger the Scale of Beauty, the Better. If you want my opinion, when it
comes to literature and filmmaking, the Bigger, the Better. Classic Scorpittarius trait.
Hmm. What is my favorite word?
Mythos. Hero. Wuxia. Mystic. Secret. Invisibility. Epic. Visionary. Power. Mastermind.
Manifestation. Compassion. Nonjudgmentalism. Progressive. Transcendence. Nirvana.

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YOUR PLACE IN COMICS

Scott McCloud on Style
You cant choose a style. Sometimes it chooses you.
Style usually describes surface details like LINE QUALITY, a way of drawing
FACES or ones use of DIALOGUE.
But mannerisms like that are just BY PRODUCT of an artists attempts to present the
WORLD as they SEE it.
--And to capture the ASPECTS of COMICS that may have captivated them as
READERS.
Behind the struggle lies their fundamental outlook on LIFE and ART-A statement of their PASSIONS and PRIORITIES---An echo of the TIMES and PLACES theyve come from
--And a signpost to WHERE they want their chosen art to TAKE THEM.

Genres Mono Franchise Belongs To

Action-Adventure
Alternative / Experimental
Detective / Police Drama / Crime
Drama
Fantasy
Manga
Military / Spy Fiction
Pulp Action
Science Fiction
Sketchbook / Gallery / Pin-Ups
Thriller

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The 4 Main Tree-Root Genre Thinkers

The Classicists

The Animists

The Formalists

The Iconoclasts

The Classicists:

First is the devotion to Beauty, Craftsmanship and the tradition of Excellence and
Mastery.

The Desire to Create Art that our descendents could dig up in a thousand years
and still think Hey, this is good stuff!

The Understanding that Perfection may not be attainable in this lifeBut that
thats no reason not to strive for it

The Formalists

Then theres the devotion to comics itself, to figuring out what the form of comics
is capable of.

The Eagerness to turn comics inside-out and upside-down in an effort to

understand the forms potential more fully

The Willingness to let craft and story to a back seat if necessary, in pursuit of new
ideas that could change comics for the better.

Computer Related Item To-Buy List

Adobe Photoshop CS5 ($200)
Memory Upgrade ($300)
Wacom Bamboo Tablet ($100)
Manga Studio Debut ($25-$100)
Other Things to Buy
Spiral Notebooks (comic book pages)
Gridded Sketchbook Paper (Panels)
Light Box (Cleanup)
Lulu Sketchbook (Panels and sketches)
Mechanical Pencils with 0.7 or 7.0 lead (I forget which)
Food
Car Sharing
Apartment

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The Japanese anime studios are definitely the definition of perfectionism. Them,
Spielberg, and George Lucas. You look at anime and manga in Japan, you are looking at
perfection made manifest. Visual Perfection and Visionary Perfection is one of animes
main assets.
The 3 best sites to find new school American Manga and webcomics at online would be
DeviantART, Webcomics Nation (WCN), and the Tokyopop.com fan-created manga
section.

Im getting better at revisions and re-drawing my artwork. I have like a million old first
drafts of drawings, just waiting for new revisions.
Thats my new word for redrawing stuff: Revisions
And the new word for re-drawings is: Drafts
One of my better drawings went through as many as 4 drafts. And Im pretty sure I can
always do more than 4 drafts of a drawing if I want.

Turns out I have more than enough first draft drawings to last me through the next few
months, as far as source material is concerned, in terms of revisions and future drafts.

Advice:

Working on more than one drawing/page at a time

Light box tracing for cleanup
Copying first drafts for second and third drafts
Starting and stopping work on drawings each day
Spending more than one hour on a drawing over the course of days, weeks, and
months
Drawing with a mechanical pencil
Drawing with my wrist primarily (bringing back that old useful habit, a Phil nono.)
Using hairy lines (another Phil no. Useful to me)
Think of the form as a three dimensional object
Work with blotchy shapes for clothing
Pencil lightly if possible, light enough to erase if necessary
Dont make it outliney all the time.

I know Ive said this before but I cant get over it. Im actually very influential online, in
places like the Adult Swim Message Boards, YouTube, and DeviantART. All the social
media sites in other words. I cant un-imagine those sites.

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Just got my Avatar the Last Airbender Making-Of coffee table production and story art
book in the mail today, and upon first impression of browsing through it, I got 2 initial
gut reactions:

Holy shit. That show really is a masterpiece of animation production taken to the
next level.

Holy shit. I guess Im not doing enough work to get by in anime yet after all. Not
only is every page of the book beautiful, but Bryan Konietzkos production art
clearly outnumber the volume of work Ive produced in my prime. I need to get
back to working my ass off, and stop being lazy.

One thing Ive learned from my new book would be:

Clearly,

In comics and manga, its all about capturing the emotion still narrative of the
silent frozen moment. The individual moment and image.

In animation and anime, or filmmaking, its about bringing everything to life,

which in some ways is a much harder, much more difficult task.

Im not just an illustrator, designer, and storyboard artist unto himself. Im also a very
competent production designer. I must never forget that. Im good with backgrounds,
layout, architecture, and the aesthetics of architectonics. I must never forget that.
Production Design is indeed, with little doubt, one of my very favorite areas of animation
filmmaking pre-production.

NOTES FROM AVATAR

Notes on Co-Producing With Seoul and the Avatar Team
Mike: Because Bryan and I had worked on various animation productions, we saw
firsthand the benefits and drawbacks of working with an overseas studio. When we set
out to make Avatar, we knew we wanted to use the Korean studio system in a different
way. The goal was to put some creative control and decision making into the hands of the
Korean artists, and give them the freedom to make the best animation they could.
BRYAN: Back when I was working on Invader Zim, I had the opportunity to travel to
Seoul, South Korea, to train the animation crews in Jhonen Vasquezs idiosyncratic style.
I was really impressed by the Korean artists talent and work ethic, but I was frustrated
by the general system set up by the various American animation studios. It was such a
limiting and rigid system that didnt allow for the Korean animators to show their

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creativity and do their best work. They werent given the time, budget, or incentive to try
to augment the work delivered to them by the Americansin fact, they were generally
penalized for it.
When we joined forces, Mike an I not only had a story to tell but a passion to restructure
the system so the Korean animators could be treated more as artists and encouraged to
add to the shows creative process, rather than merely executing the Americans ideas. It
wasnt easy, and our ideas didnt always work, but luckily people like Mark Taylor, the
general manager of Nickelodeon Animation Studios, and Miken Wong, our line producer,
believed in our vision and helped us to forge a brave new system for Avatars
production.
MIKE: By the time the series began, a group of the animators and color supervisor
whom we had work with on the pilot had started a new company, called JM Animation.
Even though they were a brand-new company and had worked on an American TV show
before, we believed in their tremendous dedication and talent and knew they would use
their creativity to think outside the box.
However, due to the fast-paced schedule and JM Animations size at the time, there was
no way they could physically animated all thirteen episodes. So we turned to DR Movie
and their sister company at the time, Moi Animation. Both companies had impressive
resumes and years of experience working on both U.S. and Japanese productions.
JM Animation took on the Herculean task of animating the first two premiere episodes.
After seeing off all the production material from the artists at Nickelodeon (including
character and background designs, storyboards, an animatic, and color models), we
eagerly awaited the first pencil tests. I remember watching QuickTime videos of JMs
first pencil tests with Bryan and Dave Filoni. We were totally blown away. The beautiful
quality, the emotional acting, the dynamic action exceeded even our highest expectations.
I knew then that the animation on Avatar was going to be something really unique and
special and would compliment the epic nature of the story.
The most satisfying part of working with Korean studios was getting to know the artists
on a personal level. Over the course of the series, we took numerous trips to Seoul to
work side by side with the artists. With each trip, I was even more inspired and impressed
by the artists and their work. And we developed many great friendships over the years,
which have lasted long after the production ended.

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I am planning on adjusting my storytelling and pacing style to something

moreachievable. Something simpler. Some kind of Chapter or Episode based
structure.
For instance, I think it shouldnt be too hard attempting individual comic book 1-shots,
each of a 5-page to 10-page to 20-page comic Chapter / Episode installments, with
each one being a self contained brief short story, gradually, and not to dramatically
evolving into a continuing story-arc. Or, at least, thats the plan, Stan.

Chapter I
Episode I

The Journey Begins

[synopsis]

If I cant think of anything, I simply brainstorm and come up with one singular storybased sequential art image to come up with for the first page or panel of the storybook,
then I just keep adding to it and adding to it until Ive finished Episode 1, which will be a
limited number of panels and/or full page illustrations. Ease into it. No pressure.
And there is no requirement for the art. It can be as stiff or as loose as possible. As
sketchbooky or polished and clean. As simple or complex as possible. All that matters as
of now is that I get those images on paper. Use some anatomy, use some perspective and
landscapes and its good to go.

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PARENTS:
Both my sets of parents, living and deceased, have been both demonized and deified in
public media narrative, folklore, and story the world over, in stories from places as
diverse as Japan, Britain, and America. In these authors and screenwriters narratives,
some seem to portray my two sets of parents as the root of all good. Others the root of all
evil and the Devil himself, but really what is that supposed to lead me, their long lost son,
to truly believe about them. The media has done anything but humanize them, and as a
result, myself as well.
ENGINEERING:
The modern era of technology, sociology, law, crime, and paranoia, has introduced the
world to a new archetype in the world of existential engineering: a new theme:
The Engineer vs. Himself
The Engineer vs. The Engineer
Genius vs. Genius
As is best seen in anime of all narrative places to look:
Monster: Kenzo Tenma vs. Johan Liebert
Fullmetal Alchemist: Edward Elric vs. Evil and Misdirected Rogue Alchemists
Death Note: L Lawliet vs. the anti-hero Light Yagami
And in some literature, TV and Movies:
Harry Potter vs. Slytherin and the Evil Lord Voldemort

Things I can make and buy:

Make: Crimson Red Paper

Use: Sharpie markers

Purpose and Goal: Drawing Specialized black & red covers for Parallax

Make: Black digitally inked and printed computer paper printouts (with digital
software)
Use: White ink, whiteout like white Micron pens

Purpose and Goal: To draw blade runner like architecture of cities at night.

Resource URLs:
White ink pens: http://www.jetpens.com/product_info.php/products_id/2108

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White paint sharpie marker

http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&site=&source=hp&q=White+ink+sharpie+
markers&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=CrfyE81uaTImFM4GNMmb3T0AAACqBAVP0FHhVA&psj=1&fp=7b3e9e0669ddb0a1
Innovative New Art and Drawing Technique: Drawing Notan with a pen whiteout and
sharpie market whiteout on black paper to create a Japanese Notan type feel.

Elements of storytelling I like:

Epic Mythology
Fantasy
Aesthetic Violence
Fighting
Guns
Swords
Cities / Architecture / Cyber-Expressionist Architectur
Design
Notan-Film-Noir
Aspect Angles
Literature and Cinema
Trenchcoats
Costume Design

Bryn made my cousin embarrass myself and my cousin over the internet so much, in such
an extreme way, my family actually disowned him by denying hes my actual cousin. I
think my parents find my cousin so embarrassing that He couldnt possibly be related to
you just because he looks just like you. Hes obese. He couldnt possibly be related to
you. Clearly Bryn was hoping to call my perception and mental stability into question.
And he succeeded at manipulating other people, my family and neighbors included, into
doing just that. He really gaslightedme in as efficient a manner as possible. Which is
what sociopaths do. They call your own credibility and perception into question.

I guess this may be how my life was always meant to be. Alone. Tormented. Unable to
cope with terrifying, aggressive, and dangerousbut also ultimately unstable
surroundings. Never getting real compliments or acknowledgement. Not fucked up
enough to get real handouts or charity.
But in one sense, its true, Im a self made success story.
In comics, film, television, and animation, especially in Japan and Europe, but also in
America, swords are considered an both an archetypal symbol of numerous things, and a
pop culture icon. Swords, the sword, is mainstream. Everyone uses swords. Same with

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guns. BUT, swords are not mainstream in the context Im utilizing them. Indie comics
and my own hybrid design style are not mainstream, so Im in good standing. Id love to
be mainstream, but I dont want to compromise my visual style to do it. So Ill start off in
the indies, or webcomics indies. In other words, what Im already doing. The webcomics
market has virtually replaced the comic specialty shop market in terms of who gets the
most exposure. Local shops never stock the same thing. Webcomics sites do.
You know, its hard to think of a mainstream animation or anime artist who doesnt like
comics. Just like its hard to find a Japanese person who doesnt know how to draw well.
Answerman talks smack about DeviantART! Good for him!
The internet is filled with garbage anime-inspired "art" produced by "artists"
who've done little more than copy a few character designs from Naruto and Bleach
and Inuyasha without any regard for anatomy, depth, and composition. That is not
really "art" in and of itself.
Theres definitely some type of segregation going on in the art community: Between
professionals and fans/beginners. Between Asian and American artists online. And
between TV and internet, or comic books and webcomics, or comic books and web. So
how does one work around this conflict and still succeed. I would say YouTube, but that
would be taking the easy way out.
Id love to use more research and reference material when drawing my comic book
pages, but Star Wars and Conan and Blade of the Immortal aside, I always seem to come
up empty and feel frustrated over there not being any styles out there exactly like my
own. I guess theres always photo galleries and DVDs though. And the Pause button on
my DVR remote in my room.
I stopped caringthat 2.3 million fictional Hollywood and Japanese actors/TV show
protagonists/comedic reliefs/antagonists/and cameo characters of all shapes and varieties
are all based on me, the God himselfa long time ago. Im used to that ostracism and
embarrassment from my neighborhood and family by now. By now Ive lost count of
how many fictional media characters there are based on my life story: Some
memorable, some not so memorable. Theyre not my friends. When youre at my level,
its easy to confuse strangers with friends and forget what you stand for. Fame can
corrupt you so much and leave you insane and drunk out of your mind. When I succeeded
in getting recognized by the media and becoming ubiquitous in pop culture, I found
myself drinking more. In many ways I resent my own popularity, ubiquity, and lack of
privacy. Its like nothing I do is my own anymore. The media owns or at least thinks it
owns every fucking thought that comes out of my head, and god forbid, makes it onto the
page. Makes me want to blow my brains out. Success is really getting to me. Im losing
it. I cant deal with or handle all this focus and attention on myself. Its made me go
cookoo.

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Phil told me Dont call me until you succeed. And so Im not going to. Ive made a
resolve to live up to his standard and not even try to contact him again until I succeed.
The light box is the real secret right now. Buying a light box will be key in doing all
sorts of progressive steps to diving into drawing comic book pages. The almighty comics
pages. Who needs photoshop when you have a lightbox? Light box can do cleanup.
Lightbox can trace images onto panels. Enough said
Im not a very big fan of nicknames. And worse yet, code nicknames, and even worse
yet, condescending fictional antagonist character code nicknames in anime. DONT
CALL ME THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CALL ME JOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPH!!!! GOD.
DAMN. IT. FUCK. YOU!!!!!! Youre nickname is Richard Nixon.
And another thing angering me. I cant just go willy nilly and do and say whatevers on
my mind anymore. The spotlight is on me 24/7, 7 days a week. It never goes away. Im
always somewhere. The market and brand of me.
Yes, I have actually had to do quite a bit of coping with my recent fame in the media, or
ubiquity as I like to call it. Just seeing images of your likeness everywhere you go. It
can be a real living hell. A real nightmare.

Superhero Covers that Influence My Work:

Batman
Spawn
Blade of the Immortal
Cerebus
Conan
Sin City

Coverbrowser.com
Webcomicsnation.com
Mangafox.com
Newkadia.com

In the world of comic books, covers matter. Cover artwork matters.

My name is Joseph. My parents never admitted to or claimed to have named me after

Saint Joseph, the father of Jesus H. Christ. But whenever the discussion of the origin of
my name comes up, they always mention it. Jesus father is always the one they mention
when we talk about where my name comes from, so I guess thats who Im named after.

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And when I was little, they gave me a small miniature sculpture statue that was inspired
by Saint Joseph.

Maybe I was right about Florida beinghaunted. Or cursed. There is something very
creepy about certain parts of Florida, and this phenomena, even if true, is incredibly hard
to track, document, and quantify.

Most obscure artists have the exact same popularity rating: For most people, online or
otherwise, its 80% non-reaction / silence / being ignored, 10% criticism, and as little of
an amount of good as 10% positive feedback. Most successful artists never listen to
anyone other than themselves, even if a lot of people do praise them, most of them dont
care about that kind of thing, which is part of why theyre as well known as they are:
They have that wall of indifference built around them.

My TV-PC Technology, manifested as market products, is HERE! The first notable

example, and a prototype that I myself, one of its early engineers, want to buy badly is
here, and its called ROKU. Its specifically built to stream internet streaming videos
from sites like Amazon Video-On-Demand and Netflix straight to your TV. This small
little box makes it possible to do things that were previously only possible with a laptop,
a ripped video collection, and an HTMI Cable. Jesus, the technology is catching up to my
dream fast!
Im one of the early pioneering engineers and individuals behind the conceptualization of
not the DVD Player obviously, but rather, the Digital Video Player (or DVP as I like
to call it). Roku is the Tivo of Digital Video Players, then and Tivo Premiere.
Hey, I want to make the history books and textbooks too! But hey, at least I have the
Roku box and YouTube. My theorizing in those fields is pretty valuable and historic in its
own right. If youre one of the first persons to do something historic, that automatically
makes you a part of fields history.

By now, because of my inventing skills, Im one of the greatest unplanned pregnancy

adoption success stories to ever to become an entrepreneur and make a name for himself.
Every single one of my major successes and achievementsYouTube, streaming video,
the TV-DVD, Parallax, Mono, DVP (or) HTPC & The Digital Video Playeris
without a doubt a story of self-made success. Im starting to realize that, no matter how
much I or anyone else brags about themselves, truly epic success is never bragged about
or talked about enough in the eyes of the media and public. People never get bored of
analyzing my success, so its okay to talk about it a lot, because the public is doing the
exact same thing, except the public is bragging for me about my own success and
achievements a lot more than I ever could nonstop for one lifetime. The number of

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articles written in the press and by journalists about YouTube, by now, contains more
words than the YouTube founders could ever say or write about YouTube themselves.
Im equally pulled in two or more directions. Between pursuing art and literature, and
pursuing science and technology. Im medium, genre, and media minded and conscious
of all those different areas, so Ill likely keep all of these areas in mind when Im
developing my ideas independently of the mainstream system. I dont patent all of my
ideas, but I do record the theoretical ideas behind each of them.

Things some mystical spirits say to/about me:

You could have the 27 curse, where you die at the age of 27
You could make $100 billion as an inventor of technology
Recognition for you, your work, and your theories comes post humously
You wont receive credit for your system. The applier of your system will. Hell
get fame and wealth

So, it appears my charter high school diploma and the possession of the second highest
graduating GPA in the charter high school class of my adolescencebefore I briefly
went to technical art schoolseems to be beginning to pay off. My education has helped
me find a brand new niche. That and my own ingenuity.
Im seriously considering becoming a freelance inventor. One book I want to buy is the
one that inspired Thomas Edison, inventor of thousands of patents. The books title is
Experimental Researches in Electricity by Michael Faraday. If I end up becoming a
freelance inventor in the business and technology world, I could use the profits from my
initial patents to fund research and development for future patents. Then I can study
DVR boxes and buy Computers, DVR boxes and DVD-R boxes, dissect and disassemble
them, and study how they function and operate, perhaps even reverse engineering them
for my own knowledge and research. I could also set up my own Research and
Development laboratory and office locally, even if its only in my house, I could put a
secret laboratory in my house. I already have around 1415 potential patent concepts in
development already. Im just adding onto what I can already do with a DVD-R Disc and
an HDMI connector cable. YouTube and Roku could very well be a taste of the future. A
small taste of whats to come.
Though I am a scientist, author, and inventor, I still enjoy being an artist and designer.
Im starting to think I want to use my future knowledge of electronics and see if I can
make differentiated user interfaces integrated on various hardware and software systems.
Or at the very least, finding out which of their components are compatible and
incompatible. Im starting to feel like a cable guy / Best Buy employee. But
professionally, and potentially, freelance electronics engineer sounds about right. Im

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aiming to learn the basics of electronics than gradually progress to structures, systems,
and designs that are more complex.
I know better than to rely on family and therapists for advice or support in my career as
an inventor. In the beginning, I can foresee, due to their low opinion of me, they will
initially have some serious issues with viewing me as a genius inventor. None of them
think Im smart enough for have the potential for a career in technology and science, and
yet, Ive already done so much. Ive already had ideas and careers stolen from me twice
in the tech industry and an endless amount of time in the art industry. If the fact that
everyone steals from me isnt potential, I dont know what is.
You know, I dont think the whole internet young adult lifestyle is for me, whether it
was now or any other time in my life history. I just dont feel like this way of living, this
kind of lifepenniless and isolationistis really for me. It just is not for me, so Im not
involving myself with it for the most part. Miss me all you want, Im not coming back.
My life is at a different level now. I dont have time for the things I used to have time
for. All I have time for now is the important things that actually do affect reality, which
is to say, not art, and not any of my fans, being the psychos that they are.
The streets are littered with the living dead bodies of men who wanted to make it in
showbusiness, and invested all of their savings, their whole lives into it, and it never
worked out for them, because no one showed up. Its a sad fate, some might even say I
suffer from that very fate, but thats the reality of the situation. Unfortunately, like me,
for many well-intentioned people out there, they invested their whole lives into their
careers without funding or investors to fall back on to finance their showbusiness career,
and they ended up like me, selling to deserted crowds of zero people, where no one
shows up on a consistent basis. Actually, the more invested you are in your showbusiness
career prematurely before it never gets the chance to take off, the more likely you are to
get evicted, kill yourself, end up broken and homeless and on the street, in a miserable
job that you always hoped youd never end up with but that ended up being the only
place that would accept you. The only real audience or investors I have are my parents.
I guess Casselberry, Florida, Adult Swim, and the internet are going to have to make due
without action comics anymore. Ive taken this as far as I can. I cant take it any further.
Its over. Its over for my comics.
----So, you ask, what makes me happy? Thats easy. Ive become addicted to being made
happy by nostalgia. Nostalgia = Euphoria
-----

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The unfortunate truth, that I hate to admit publicly is the fact that my face has attained a
Ben Franklin-like status in contemporary society. No one recognizes me, but they always
think I look LIKE Somebody, one of my numerous media portraits. My media portrait
sells! My face should be printed on a stamp or something, its so iconic and famous.
The most famous things about me:

Mono, his trenchcoat, and the Parallax cast

My Face (Eyes, hair, glasses, skin tone, facial shape)
My YouTube Contributions to the Internet
My first name: Joseph

Im recognized everywhere, from America to France to Japan. To China and Canada and
everywhere in between. Its a worldwide phenomena. I think Im one of, if not THE, first
examples of someone who has become both so famous and so obscure and anonymous at
the same time.

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Chapter 24

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Friday, October 1st, 2010

As an inventor, I could earn somewhere between $100,000 and $3 bill. No matter how
you slice it, if I can sell, I can make a lot of money, or as Miss Choi once told me when
she predicted my future, Youre gonna make a lot of money.
There have been inventors in animation before: Pixar (anonymous staff members and
engineers), Ub Iwerksbut as it turns out, to put it un-technically, no one is doing what I
do (not even George Lucas or Spielberg). I am the first. Im the first major player in
animation to be an inventor and an auteur and a screenwriter-designer-author. Turns out
Im just not as bound by limitations as everybody else. My first invention to be submitted
for either patenting or licensing, was submitted to IBM in 2005. They passed on it. But it
felt good submitting something to a big powerful company for the first time. Even when I
was rejected by them at the time, I was not discouraged in the least. My first invention to
be put to wide use was my DVD-R engineering invention, which was first applied to
YouTube, un-credited to me. That one spread like wildfire, and anonymously so. No one
knows I created it, that method of Macromedia Flash Video streaming and uploading.
So, so far Ive had some success, and some rejection, but what little success I have had
has set me on the road in the right direction to try even newer things. Good things are in
store for the future as long as Im around.
However, if there is one real-world task I can handle, it is inventing and engineering
technology. Ive already tested my abilities in that area with what is now the process of
watching anime online, particularly on Googles YouTube. YouTube was the first
instance of people being able to watch anime videos online that werent just a download
that you had to go to the trouble of loading it onto your computer. With my innovative
technology, people can now watch tons of anime online, instead of just a few Quicktime
clips, all of which one has to download instead of just clicking on. I invented that!!! And
the fact that my Massive Godlike Influence on modern animethrough my invention
goes unnoticed by the media and public makes it all the more influential and powerful.
Millions of people on hundreds of websites, both corporate and independent are using the
result of my technological internet engineering without even being aware of it or
knowing it. They use the technology without even realizing Im the one that manifested it
and made it real. The number of streaming anime sites is multiplying with each passing
year. It just keeps expanding. Its a whole online universe with billions of clicks. I did
that. This is exciting. Influence most people are unaware ofor at the very least are not
cognizant ofis the most powerful kind of influence in the world. Finally, my power is
actually real, and not just hypothetical. I can pull up any site of that genre to verify that
my influence is indeed very real, and so is my power, because I made all of those things
happen.
As for my line of work. Im not going to try to argue that my scientific contributions are
more important than my art. Of that I am uncertain. But I do have a more consistent time
with science than I do with art. Science is consistent. Art isnt. Simple as that. Science
provides reliable results. Art doesnt.

P a g e | 671

Ive now reached maturity or experience in almost all areas of my life, except
relationships, sex, and being out in the world. In those areas I have no experience, so in
some ways its hurt my growth. Im a genius in many other ways though.
Oh. Yay. More art theory. More art talk. Gee, how exciting. Yuck. Clearly, as I can attest
toif not a lot of other people toobusiness and art dont go well together for the most
part.
Im just going to take my chances as a screenwriter and scientist.
So far I have 7 official patent ideas Im developing.
-----If Japan is really superior to the United States, like they think they are, how come they
dont have power and money like we do. How can you think youre superior and not have
more power or money than the person you believe youre superior to.
To Buy List:

Video Tuner (card, cable, box, whatever. For receiving streaming video signals on
my PC)
For Windows Media Center
For PC-DVR Software
Lulu book
Lulu self-made sketchbook
Pinnacle Studio
--------

Few Things are as bad as working on an empty stomach. And yet that is exactly what my
parents are constantly pressuring me to do. Responsible act? Or irresponsible one? Either
way, Im malnourished, even when I am obese to a degree.
-------If you want my opinion on the matter, drawing production design for Blade Runner, or
AKIRA, or Cerebus, is a harder task for a person like me than something like creating the
Windows Operating System from the ground up. How does that work out anyway? I
mean, the number of people who use Windows dwarfs the number of people who have
actually seen, let alone paid for a DVD of Blade Runner, AKIRA, and Cerebus by about
100 or even 1,000 to 1. And thats underestimating the uneven numbers. The statistics are
probably a lot higher than 1,000. How could one thing be so vastly less socially profitable
than the other.
--------

P a g e | 672

The Law of 4s.

Books, Comics, TV Animation, Feature Film

Artisans, Guardians, Idealists, Rationals

Thanks to my engineering contributions to YouTube, Im still one of the most influential,

powerful, and popular people on the web (or is it still web 2.0?). Whats next for JM
Strebler after the whole YouTube thing? Not sure, probably more, but less familiar,
areas of progressive technology for me that are in equally dire need of reshaping. Its
tough to say what Ill be pursuing next. Its still being decided. I do know this much
though. Im interested in working up to specializing in general technology markets, and
not just the web 2.0 and video. I do like a good challenge.
-----Finally beginning to understand the anatomical structure of arms and legs better. Now my
muscles and bones actually connect and dont constantly bend out of proportion or in the
wrong anatomical direction. I broke a lot of those anatomy laws when I was really trying
to exaggerate my fighting poses. Now I know what works and what doesnt. I even made
Da Vinci-esque anatomy limits chart. Even Rob Schrab follows the rules of anatomy, and
he exaggerates everything. Same goes for anime. All professional artists follow the limits
of anatomy. You can only bend and pivot the axis point of a limbs connector joint so far
in certain directions. If you go past the point without connecting the bone or muscle, the
fighting or style pose will look unrealistic.
----My cover layouts are becoming more complex and dynamic, but in one sense, theyre
still pretty simple. Still though, at least Im filling up the whole page with composition.
My covers are starting to look like a cross between Frank Miller and Spawn (McFarlane).
Im starting to really enjoy how wild and dynamic my fabric and cloth is getting. Very
Spawn-ish. What I really want to do is get inside McFarlanes head and figure out How
would he approach this cloth blowing in the wind. At times I can be very good at
copying the idiosyncrasies of certain artists, designers, and creators style elements and
really figuring out how to think like my favorite artists do; whether its McFarlane, Frank
Frazetta, Corey Senderov Jackson, Masashi Kishimoto, Moebius, Syd Mead, or Vasquez.
If its a good, appealing style, I probably wish to absorb it.
------

P a g e | 673

Things Im looking forward to:

Laptop Tuner
Roku
World Building (book)
Electronics (book)
Paul Pope Comics
Light Box
Comics Pages
Screenplay(s)
White-Ink Pens
Black and Red Paper
----Production Aspects I Am Responsible For:

Character Design
Screenplay
Storyboard
Production Design

And now, a little self criticism:

I suck!!!! My unfinished sketches and gesture drawings are BEYOND shitty!!!! Actually,
my entire style is BEYOND shitty!!! Im a no-talent hack. A procrastinator. And no
matter how good my idea, project, or plan is, Im always too much of a fucking pussy to
follow through!!! God I hate me!!! Im so arrogant and full of myself, always bragging
all of the time, while underperforming as compared to my peers and disappointing and
not delivering. Companies have gone OUT OF BUSINESS on my false promises. Im the
worst person in the world. Too much of a loser to have a real life because Im living in
bullshit land, some fantasy world where Ive fooled myself into thinking I have the power
to actually FINISH one or any of my important, historical projects What an ass I am. I
actually think Im a professional. How cute. Not really.
-----Well, even though Im not very popular in the mainstream, I do have 1 subordinatefriend. Not saying who, but she does just about everything I ask of her, in terms of
drawing and art. Shes either a student or an employee. She views herself as my
student. But I prefer to think of her as an employee/fan. We havent spoken much
lately, but Im certain she still looks up to me, which is awesome.

P a g e | 674

----Lately, Ive been interpreting my own dreams in terms of the ones I remember, and my
dreams are telling me some important, insightful things. The new. Supposedly, Im
giving birth to new things in my life, new projects and a new lifestyle. Lets see

Mono: Revised
Parallax: Revised
Light Box
Mono Cleanup
DeviantART, new avatar
HTPC, watching anime marathons on TV in the afternoon, one series/episode at a
time
Inventing
Andrew is nice to me
A less crowded house
Walking around house when no TV is on
Watching videos on my comp-TV when theres no shows the networks are putting
on
Work Quartet: Storyboarding, Production Design, Character Design,
Screenwriting
------

If I ever die an early death, some potential people to leave my art collection to, to present
to museums and archivists: The Hesses, Crealde, the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale, Phil
Feretti, Donna Frank, Jo Ann Cook. And maybe some websites like DeviantART And
some of my online friends like Lindsey Vest. Im passing whats left of my work on to
my friends and family, in other words. I dont care what the internet thinks of me in this
regard. My decision is my decision.
----Subject Matter and Fields of Study Im Studying and Teaching Myself
World-Building
Artwork Layering
Tracing and Cleanup
Light Table
Basic Japanese
Inventing
Patenting Inventions
Electronics
Electricity
Physics

P a g e | 675

Algebra
DVR engineering
Anatomy in perspective and proportion
Like my horoscope guessed at: Yes, I truly do resent the blending of my work life with
my home life. No one let me separate the two. I had no choice in the matter.
Sometimes I wish I could counsel people on the internet. You know, just listen to them
talk about whats on their mind and hear out their problems. Listen to whatevers on their
mind, and empathize with them, let them know theyre not alone in their solitude or fear
or even hatred and anger at the internet, for mocking or humiliating or rejecting them or
something like that.
I dont think its such a good thing to argue with and make fun of my TV aloud anymore.
Ive always loved doing the slacker commentary, talking back with talking heads, making
fun of people on my TV and whatnot, but the effort has become futile. Now the TV
responds to you and argues back with you, or at least that is what it feels like. My TV
always cops an attitude with me when Im watching it. I feel like its alive and glaring at
or at the very least, conspiring against, me. I know it sounds crazy, but my TV must be
possessed by a ghost or demon or something.
Even though I am prolific, from time to time, people have viewed my wordsperhaps
rightfully soas hateful, angry, and destructive, but what do you expect from a reclusive
shut-in loner. Sometimes my words can manipulate people emotions just a little bit too
easily. Sometimes my words sell. Sometimes they turn entire organizations and groups of
people against me, particularly when Im in public. My words are powerful. Theres no
denying that. But not knowing when to stop talking or shut up can lead to some
dangerous unintended consequences. Ill admit some of my public statements, due to the
freedom of the internet, when misinterpreted and misused by people I dont know and
never will, come across as misuse of the freedom of speech. Sometimes I just wish
people wouldnt take what I say so seriously.
My therapist is encouraging me to contemplate and consider who or what I am grateful
for, be it advice or guidance, or something someone did or said to or for me that has
helped me in my journey.
Making friends in and doing business in Asia and Japan is a tricky, delicate business. The
Japanese are passive-aggressive and secretive about a lot of things, most notably art,
literature, and business, or commerce. Japanese take great pride and sensitivity, or
delicacy, in what they do, all while being some of the most disciplined and hardest
working employees on earth. Japanese youth can be very reverent, yet very irreverent.
And opinions about Japan and its people, from an American, or Western, perspective,
have been very mixed. Even before the Second World War, Japan was still highly
misunderstood by other countries, and they continue to be misunderstood and isolated to
this day. I still hold a deep respect for them and their culture though. Japan holds a deep

P a g e | 676

place of reverence in my heart, regardless of how any of my family or friends view said
relationship with foreign culture.

If there are talent scouts in the media, for music, comics, manga, anime, film, animation,
TV Broadcasting, or web development and technology, or any one of those thingsand I
only list that many things because thats all that I doI just hope they dont hesitate too
long to advertise the presence of their interest in recruiting me. Im eager to get the ball
rolling and snowball this bad boy known as my career. Yeah! Id also love it if they
invested some travel resources to come visit me and discuss negotiations of my hiring,
contract, and potential relocation. I have a feeling it could be Cartoon Network, Adult
Swim, Williams Street, Manga Entertainment, Bang Zoom, or Tokyopop, or Funimation,
but then again I might not know anything at all.
Some insiders have predicted, within the next few decades, there will be a mass
distribution migration, from old media to new media, thanks to sites like YouTube and
various online comics and literature sites. If that happened, Id probably be set for life.
But I doubt it will happen anytime soon. I certainly WISH it would, but realistically
speaking, such a thing happening overnight is doubtful. Oh well, that just means Ill have
more time to practice my act and work on new material for future potential gigs.
Things Im most thankful for:

Barack Obama and Social Security

Japan
Hollywood
Violence in Action Stories
Comic Books
Anime
Kindness
Meditation
Burger King
Adult Swim
Jhonen Vasquez
My favorite entertainers, filmmakers, storytellers, artists, inventors, and
entrepreneurs
DeviantARTs good Deviants
Women who find me attractive
Parents Love
AnimeTV
YouTube
Google
Adoption
Intelligence, Creativity, Humor, and Imagination

P a g e | 677

Talent Scouts
Agencies for Talent
Computers and Home Electronics
Electronics
Katsuhiro Otomo and Dave Sim
Todd McFarlane
Compassion
Generosity
Money
Ingenuity
The ability to build your own empire
-----

There is an age limit to getting a show on TV. In the U.S. at least, the minimum age for
executive producing a show is 23, but thats still pretty rare. You have to be at least well
into your twenties or thirties to be a producer in television.
---Im considering buying weight loss supplements, or appetite suppressants.
Things Left to Buy:
Pinnacle Editing Studio
TV Tuner
Roku Streamer Box
White-Ink Pens
Ink Pens (Mechanical Pilot, etc.)
Beginners and Basic Electronic Parts
Weight Loss Supplements
Im very happy with the results Ive achieved in my art through using a light table. In the
near future Im going to be using that same lightbox to do a lot of inking and cleanup of
sloppy early or earlier work.
----So Im taking some weight loss supplements my dad bought me, and Im truly grateful to
him for that. It took some convincing, but now I have the supplemental pills Ill take once
or twice a day. That Depakote medicine is deadly. You take Depakote your whole life
when you start off weighing as much as I did, eating as much as I did out of stress, that
weight gainer will kill you dead with a heart attack or stroke in no time. Depakote is a
fatal drug and needs to be banned from the market due to its deadly side effects of
causing obesity in a lot of the people who take it for whatever disorder they have.

P a g e | 678

I love energy drinks, and I like leading an active, energy filled lifestyle, filled with a
whole lot of big scale projects. As long as Im the guy in charge on some level, or at least
one of the guys in charge.
You might have some troubles with those who disagree with you, even on a superficial
level. Try to scale back your goals and milestones until everyone is more or less on the
same page.
The horoscope is right. I aint moving forward until everyone is at least sort of on the
same page, which theyre not right now.
----It is sort of true. Trouble seems to shadow and overshadow my presence wherever I go.
There has been a folklore myth built around this theory. Its not easy being popular,
influential, successful, and important. Anyone who teams up with me becomes more
powerful by association. That includes businesses as well.
----Much of the time, I have a lot more going on than most people realized, if not all people
except the ones Im involved with.
----Theres a certain energy field around me that has a huge influence on the social situations
I get involved with. It changes the things that happen directly around me. It changes the
energy field.
----Here (Casselberry, Florida) is not where I belong. I was not born here, and I probably
will not die here. There is a deep sense of unrest about my destiny, as it relates to my
current life. Ive got too much international hunger and wanderlust to stay in one place.
---As far as screenwriting goes, if its just filler Im writing and producing, it doesnt take
me very long, but I dont like writing filler. Makes me feel like a literary filmmaking
poser or auteur fraud. If its just filler I can produce it in bulk. Its the quality writing it
takes me forever to produce. I dont just want to write a screenplay. I want to write
quality screenplays. Not just sub-par scripts. My standards and minimum are a bit high.
-----

P a g e | 679

Ever since I was a young child and discovered comic books, Ive been on a writers and
artists journey to find and understand the necessary (and often hidden) skills and secrets
involved in creating, producing, and making a comic book series and epic graphic novel
of varying lengths. I want to learn the secrets of comic book making and production, and
the secrets of writing books.
----There are three main databases I hope to leave an impression in at some point. Actually,
almost any mainstream online database of professional work is a good place to be, like
YouTube and DeviantART, but where I really want to be is the IMDB database,
Wikipedia, and the ANN Encyclopedia. Those are the hardest ones to get into. Now that I
think about it, Im already on ASMB, Bumpworthy, Google, Google Images,
Tokyopop.com, AnimeTV, Yahoo Search, DeviantART, and YouTube. All my peers in
the industry are there too.
Its mind boggling to think that an entire universe, and entire empire of entertainment and
ground-laying design workwhose final form is seen round the world by millions of
peoplecould flow from nothing but a mere mechanical ink pen on a piece of paper, and
the imagery it creates. I manifested and built ALL THAT EPIC SUCCESS with nothing
more than a few thousand strokes of something as small as a mere keyboard or ink pen.
----In the next few years Ill be buying a new comp. And it wont be a PC. PCs are primitive
and lousy, and leave you with no real defense against cyber-criminals like Brian Johnston
and Panda Rin. I use Windows, but for the most part I hate it with a passion. Its never
safe. I hate the concept of screen-sharing. More like screen-hijacking.
----My dream of working in the industry I love just might one day become a reality. Im
currently developing a strategy to make it happen. Ive finally found a potential business
partner who isnt YouTube, Google, Tokyopop, or CN, which is great. The companies
values seem aligned closely enough with many of my own that I certainly wouldnt have
a problem showing them work samples, a portfolio, and fitting in with the values of their
corporate culture. This potential business alignment strategy is right up my alley. A
promotion in that company would mean a lot to my career. They seem very enthusiastic
about the very values Ive been emphasizing for a long time now. And theyre in Los
Angeles. Id love to relocate to L.A. at some point. Thats where, as they say, all the stuff
happens.
-----

P a g e | 680

I have a solid foundational understructure developed currently for:

Screenwriting (TV, film)

Novels (rhythmic pacing)
Comics (Script, Panels)
Storyboards (See Comics/Thumbnails/Gestures/lightbox)

All the Basic Formats Im beginning to understand the behind the scenes fundamentals
of. Now all I have to do is restudy, memorize, and internalize all the notes Ive taken.
----Screenwriting prompts:

What is secret, what is shared/public

Write scripts about your dreams.
Revenge Plot
Hostage Taker
----

It is true though. No publicity is bad publicity. None of the publicity Ive gotten has
worked against me, even when a lot of it has been negative. Doesnt bother me. I get
lots of publicity and its all benefited me.
----The creators, and writer-artist team behind Penny Arcade, as I have just found out, made
the list of TIME Magazines TIME 100, they were named in the Artists section right
among people as big as Conan OBrien, James Cameron. Theres 2 TIME 100 Lists. One
of them is the 100 Most Influential and Powerful People of the current year and years
past; the other list is the Biggest Icons, and Greatest Achievers and Most Influential,
Powerful People of The Entire Twentieth Century (last century). Those two creators
are proof of the increasing, power, influence, and fame of webcomics and online art and
comics. That achievement is a victory for comic books and webcomics of all genres and
varieties, everywhere. Its a compelling argument in favor of comics online and web
exclusive comics.
----Hmm. Maybe I DID choose the right profession. Maybe there isnt something hideously
wrong with me, like everybody in the media says. Thats good professional company to
be in though. They must have done something right to earn that kind of status. I hope Im
that established one day. *sigh*.
----

P a g e | 681

The Epic Gene

When it comes to epic mythologies in literary, filmmaking, and graphic form, its not so
much a repeat of the specific status and achievement I want in my own work. I dont
want to replicate the look of their style verbatim or make as much money as them, or act
like them in life. But what I do want is to maintain enough hyperfocus in my abilities so I
can follow the workload, workstyle, vision, and epic template theyve set for the world,
whether its Todd McFarlane or Dave Sim, JRR Tolkien, Isaac Asimov, or Katsuhiro
Otomo. The point is not to replicate the surface or textures, but rather replicate the work
ethic, the power of focus, discipline, and the workload. Just having the power and ability
to do something really epic and massive on the surface and in its content, and be the sole
mastermind and architectonic builder of it all, single handedly, is something I always
strive for in my philosophy. That is why my journals are over 2,000+ pages. They already
express a yearning in that direction, even if the content quality is mediocre in many spots,
its still a decent format of a first attempt at something epic. The Epic Yearning and
Desire to make an Epic Magnum Opus and Masterpiece, a one man spectacle. Todd
McFarlane, Dave Sim, George Lucas, and Otomo are colleagues and contemporaries in
my mind, and all have that element covered in spades! I want that. I want it all to myself.
Im selfish like that. But it is the world I created on my own after all. Its the whoa and
wow factor. The publishing and filmmaking spectacle of Epic and Productive
Virtuosity.
----It is nice verging on being one of the most influential people in the entire world. Not
officially anyway, but there are quite a few things Ive mastered that I can do very
powerfully, efficiently, and influentially like no one else on the internet, or the world for
that matter can match or also do.
----The TIME webcomics write-up was good and all, but due to its social significance, I
cant exactly see myself going onto my favorite message boards to brag about it. Or even
my blog. Thats just not one of those things you can casually brag about without feeling
like youre belittling the social significance of it or something. Awareness of such a piece
of news and information is reward enough in and of itself. Normally I would boast about
something this big. Not this time though. Im just happy. I feel no need to share this
knowledge.
----I dont want to become more arrogant than I am, now that I seem to be a rising star. I
want to take whatever power and influence I have and channel all that energy and power
into my work. Whatever profits I might make at some point will go to funding future
ventures and projects. Its not like Im going to have that much money. I dont have any

P a g e | 682

money now, so I dont see why that would be any different in the future, other than
maybe sales and licensing royalties.
----It is pretty amazing to think that I have so much raw power, energy, and influence to
spare that through webcomics and online video, because of how big Im becoming, I
might not just end up one of the biggest stars in animation. I might end up one of the
biggest stars in the entire world and big business and showbusiness in general, or so the
press seems to indicate. Im not a very popular webcomics artist now, but I might be, one
day some time far off in the future.
---How to draw a comic.

Take as much time as I need, if not a lot more, if necessary.

Get a steady rhythm going for my panels and panel pages (completion time limit,
deadline)
Use my great power to hyperfocus and hyper-layer one panel at a time, then
expand into pages, but focus on one panel at a time, until one page after one page
is complete when I enter my groove. Use some of that massive willpower surplus
supply Ive got stored up in my subconscious.
Detailing and layering: Page minimum2 to 3 hours per drawing (page) at least.
Page maximum for one drawing5 months to a year
Only focus on one panel at a time for a long period of time, months, years. When
I get good enough at finding a production method for panels, start organizing
pages of panels, even if all panels need to be lined up side by side, horizontal like
storyboards and thumbnails in the beginning. As long as I have a primitive sketch
image on paper, thats really what matters. I have a starting point: Something to
go off of.
This will take great adjustment, great work, great effort/energy, great focus and
concentration, and great patience.

--JM
----Art is for showing. Writing is for telling. When the two meet its magic.
----When drawing panels there are only three things I need to focus on and emphasize in the
production of my comic book panel compositions: People, Objects, and Words. When
composing and designing panelsanatomy, and perspective come second to this.

P a g e | 683

The truth is, in America, no one really knows how to teach you how to:

Draw indie comics and manga

Draw anime style animation, or co-productions
Webcomics

Theres a few books on the subjects (some of them) but because of the lack of
educational facilities in this particular area in the United States, youll more than likely
be self-taught and on your own in this area. Ive done one online tutorial. And I have 1
student. But other than those rare isolated elements, Ive never taught my secrets and
techniques.
----You know, it kind of sucks that my biggest competition, my adoptive father Cary, hates
my recent artwork with a passion and is secretly hoping Ill stop drawing anime and
manga entirely, let alone professionally. Its turning into a real contest of wills. I dont
plan to lose though. Not to him. Hes the lowest of lowlifes.
----Every time I reveal my presence or step out in the open, I am approached, encroached on,
badgered, harassed, mobbed, hounded and chased by people who all seem to want
something directly from me, yet show no intelligible ability to show respect for me or
restraint around me in the process. Theyre intent is obvious for the whole world to see,
and yet for me its not easy to determine the motive for these actions of theirs, other than
they think Im theyre golden ticket or they want in or want a piece of that.
Everytime I watch TV or try to relax or surf the internet, there are mobs of people waiting
there who just wont shut the hell up about me and what I do, and wont leave me alone,
which is the opposite of what I hope theyll do of course, which is leave me to solitude. Is
this the cost of being one of the most famous, powerful, and influential people in the
world? Everybody fighting and climbing over eachother just to steal some of my time?
Am I going to have to deal with this every time I leave my parents house, for the rest of
m life? I dont think I like fame. This is not glamorous at all. Its obnoxious and irritating
what these people are doing, to me, to themselves, to the public, and to each other. I get
multiple friend requests from weird people on YouTube every other day, if not every day.
---I have heard some people say there is a haunted quality about me. But what am I
haunted by. Sadness. Melon-Collie. The Weight of the World. Unrest. Ambition.
-----

P a g e | 684

I think I just realized. God. Buddha. The Universe. Whatever. God doesnt send you to
hell for seeing, thinking, or observing bad things. God sends you to hell for saying and
doing bad things. And Ive done nothing wrong in reality. Ive never harmed anyone.
----The Devil (The source of evil today for my life) Is

When Bush and Brian Johnson are in power

Being forced to live where I dont want to
When someone steals the characteristics of my face
When someone steals from me in any way, even if its just my work
When someone takes the credit I deserve
When people secretly plot and conspire against me (Viacom)
Viacom in general
My existent and nonexistent celebrity
DeviantART trolls and immature crazy kids who play mind games
The local Ruffians
Local crime
People who libel and/or slander me and try to assassinate my character
-----

Symptoms of the curse:

Morphing clutter in my room
Digestive system and diet
Colon
Sexual life
Lack of privacy
Family
Career
School
Psychiatry and Therapy
Mainstream media
Online forums
DeviantART
----Saw a cartoon puppeteer in my dream today. No question. People are attempting to
manipulate me, and not inconspicuously either. Some use the power of television to
manipulate people for the show creators own criminal purposes.
-----

P a g e | 685

Ive wanted to do a Conan (in Trenchcoat) Uses Ni-Ten Ichi Ryu two-sword
technique style comic book for at least 3 to 4 years or so now. But there are both pros
and cons to telling this type of story. On the plus side, its new and innovative. No one in
American comics (and many Japanese comics, with rare exceptions) has done sword
comics using Ni-Ten Ichi Ryu technique before. Thats my thing. Im more associated
with that technique than anyone else in the story industry. That is because Im original
and I use styles other people dont bother to try. Video games and some obscure comics
may be the only exception.
There. Now that Ive established my territory, Im going to need to learn to defend it.
---Ive finally arrived at a solution to my long-standing Comic Book Panel & Layout
Dilemma. The answer is: Digital Production and Construction. Ill edit and construct the
pages digitally, so I dont have to draw at a reduced size, but instead can draw each panel
as a full page drawing and use Manga Studio Debut and Photoshop to shrink each page
down to the size of a panel and arrange the panel drawings on my page digitally. I used
that technique for End Times: Visions with Comic Book Creator software, which looking
back, sucks compared to Manga Studio, but at least now I dont have to worry about
shrinking everything down anymore. Once I learn the technology of Manga Studio Debut
software, that will be the easy part. What was once the difficult part will now be the easy
part. Now I can focus on one panel at a time. Drawing the entire layout by hand is
tedious, old-fashioned, and a pain in the ass. So when it comes to inking, black (negative)
space, panel construction, speech bubbles, words, and comic page layouts, it will all be
done and edited digitally. The actual penciled and inked artwork itself will mostly, if not
all, be done by hand, or traditionally.
----Theres a reason I hide my true ambition from my peers. Ive put out emotional or
intellectual thought bait for them on the web before (the saboteur lurkers and trolls),
and just as I suspected, they took that intellectual bait and attempted to sabotage anything
related to it. So it isnt really safe territory Im dealing with here on the internet.
I do kind of have a guilty habit of taking intellectual pride in not looking good or
attractive, especially to the masses. Most of the time I am perfectly happy to be known as
the ugly amoral second rate bad guy. Doesnt bother me. Actually, it fills me with pride
and honor. Im not conforming to societys hypocritical and arrogant standards. Boohoo.
As for my webcomics and web art. Actually, I dont do it to be popular like some. Id
have given up a long time ago if that were my motive. I do it because its the right thing
to do. The world needs to see it, regardless of whether the world actually likes it. The
world doesnt always want innovation and creativity. But that is what I offer.

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Actually, now that I think about it, Todd McFarlane draws cloth better than 95% of
overseas manga artists. He draws fabric a hell of a lot better than most of the other artists
out there, in any country, be it America or Japan. Hes the reason American comics arent
always worse than manga. The only fabric artists who can actually rival him would be
THORES Shibamoto and Yasuhiro Nightow. Everyone else lacks the detail and dynamictechnique abilities to compete or even touch him in terms of art. And that is my honest
opinion. Im not trying to be Japanese. I dont want to be Japanese. I want to be like
McFarlane and George Lucas: One of a kind. Manga is such a conformists field lately.
Food policing? Yeah, my parents do a LOT of that. And I mean A LOT.
----Apparently, some people think Im too perfect to believe, which I find weird. I never
said I was perfect, or even a hero. Some people are fascinated by the fact that I always
win. But the thing is, I dont always win. I just keep struggling until things get easier,
and more comfortable. Also, some of my rivals get quite offended by my more
productive periods, which strikes me as a very jealous and silly way to think. Why would
some one wish for other people not to be productive. Productivity keeps people out of
trouble.
----An Interview:
Q: So, youre the Great Joseph Alberts, are you? The one all the people talk about?
Correct?
JA: Yes, that is correct.
Q: And you want to be the best, dont you? Your goal is to write-draw a graphic novel
some day, dont you? That is your dream?
JA: Yes.
Q: And youre honestly hoping to make it up to 600 to 1,200 pages, arent you? One of
the longest running, most powerful creative narratives ever conceived, an Epic among
Epics! The Impossible Dream Achievement. Right?
JA: Right again. I want to be prolific!
Q: Right. And I have little doubt youll succeed one day years from now. Of that I have
little doubt. But I have another question for you. What will you do when you actually
reach that bookmark of 1,200 comic book pages actually completed? What are you going
to do once youve finally reached youre goal? What of that accomplishment?

P a g e | 687

JA: Um, actually, I never thought it through that much. I was kind of always expecting to
fail or get discouraged by then, or if I did reach that point, Id sit on my ass and I guess
Id stop. Id stop being active and drawing, wouldnt I.
Q: Exactly. Thats an ineffective strategy, because now that you have a chance of
reaching that goal, theres also a chance you could become disillusioned once you reach
your own self-proclaimed finish line. What if no one reads it, what if it fails
commercially or in popularity like all your other comics work, or worse yet, it succeeds
and makes you the richest, most powerful and successful artist on the face of the earth??
Could you actually handle that sort of achievement? Do you really want there to be a
stopping point at all in your work?? What will you do once your job is done? Nothing?
Go crazy?
JA: Not really sure. Actually, thanks for that. I never thought of it that way.
Q: Youre right. You didnt. But I did. Why even set a stopping point? Why not just
focus on each page, a page at a time, sequentially and individually. Make every page,
make all your pages count, not just Pg. No. 765, Issue No. 231. Just make youre power
level in general honed to perfection, and stop worrying about quantifying youre
achievement calculations so much.
JA: Thats a good idea! I think I will approach it that way just as soon as I get the hang of
scanned and imported page layout on Manga Studio and Photoshop.
-----My first comics page Ive done in over 6 months to a year was just made today. With
Manga Studio, my computers are going to evolve from a studio to a factory within the
next 20 years. I have enough source material to keep the pages coming pretty
consistently, much to the horror of my rivals and assorted competitors. It took me less
than 20 minutes to make 1 whole comic book layout digitally, and it was made from
nothing more than a few of my scanned sketchbook pages. Production on Parallax is
going to continue after all. Using my demo version of Manga Studio while reading
Manga Studio for Dummies was the true testing ground of format and page template. It
can be done. I might not need to produce any new artwork for at least a week or two
2001 2010
Age: 16 26
First Decade of Work
Proving Ground. Work momentum builder. Research and Development. Abstract
reaching to pull something out of my mind into manifestation. The manifestation of
creative fuel and energy. Searching for a voice. Generating useable material

P a g e | 688

2011 2021
Age: 27 37
Second Decade of Work
Building the Template and Paradigm of a Production Model. Building the work routine.
Building the foundation of format and manufacturing of production. Consistently
repeating the deep formula that works.
-------Maybe I just need to let my ego die even more than it has, and let my works purity be
sealed by the shield of invisibility and obscurity, UNTIL people in the distant future find
it among my remains one day, just like a time capsule.
I guess I just never stopped to think about how debilitating biological depression is for
some people. Or manic-depression, as is the case for me. I have seen many kill
themselves, quite literally, upon facing many of the difficulties Ive faced. My path is one
for the truly brave. Brave by nature. Not by choice. That would be me. Plus, I think I
might actually be immune to suicide somehow. Ive just never considered it an option,
even if a lot of people view it otherwise. I never do. Im brave enough by nature to keep
living, even if nothing good is waiting for me on the other side. Death doesnt scare me.
Evil scares me. Amorality scares me. Cynicism and mean spiritedness and bullies scare
me. But not death.
In some ways it feels like the actions and choices in my life have no meaning anymore.
Nothing makes sense. I dont know who I am anymore. Im not the same person I was,
even when it comes to not very long ago. I guess this is what they call one of those
things: The Quarter-Life Crisis. The world feels alien and foreign to me, and almost
everyone I meet looks alien to me, especially in my everyday life.
I feel like I may or may not have wasted my entire life pursuing an idea, an ideal, a
lifestyle, that in the end may have turned out to be a wasted effort, because it never
achieved much of anything other than to give me a big headache every time I think about
it. While yes, it is true, I am secretly an spiritual and mystical religious labor altruist at
heart, I gave my entire life to my work. I put my heart and soul into every single page, for
thousands of pages, both public and private, I gave everything, every ounce of effort Ive
had and will probably ever have (in the future) to my creative vision and work, and for all
I know, in the end, in the publics eyes, due to their narrow view of me as both an artist
and a person, especially in America, it still feels like no one really ended up giving a shit,
certainly not moved enough by purchase or buy any of my work. Is that a failure, a
failure in life? A failure in work? A failure in creativity and originality? A failure in
career? While true, it has yet to be determined (I guess), I still have a pretty good idea
where its headed. To a failed attempt to move and stimulate the public. I gave everything
I had, and got just about nothing in return, especially money, support, and patronage. Its

P a g e | 689

hard to believe the world really is that cruel and heartless in terms of the way it
supports people who give everything they have to entertain and enlighten it, and yet it
seems to be. In some ways, I feel like giving up, but I dont know how to do that, I just
continue to this day to give, and give, and give. Because that is my nature. I am a giver,
not a taker.
But then again, I suppose thats the point of altruism. Not to get anything, not to expect
anything out of the whole deal. You give, but the lesson learned is that you must not
expect to get. And never complain about it, otherwise people can tell youre being selfish.
Also, I do tend to get the Youre good guy, Mono, looks like a bad guy criticism a lot,
purely because of the black duster and guns, maybe swords too. But that is how I role.
The moral Tarantino-like anti-hero ambiguity of my work is part of my style. Normally,
Mono could very well be the bad guy, but his intentions are not exactly evil in nature.
Hes not a tyrant, and hes not a hitman or assassin or merciless soldier out to beat you
up, kill you, and steal your lunch money. He might look the part, and have the violent
aesthetic, but he only goes after people who are actually evil. The bad guys. Good guys
wear black, as the saying goes. I know people tend to like things more clear cut in their
heroes. But there are gray areas in myself, therefore I put them in my character as well.
----One of the worst ways to get negative attention is to dilly dally in your comic book
scriptwriting and panel drawing work. The more you slow down, the more the media is
ready to kill you when you completely stop. So dont stop.

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Chapter 25

P a g e | 691

Sunday, October 17, 2010

You know, due to all the pressure in my life, it can be just a little too easy for me to lose
focus on the work if I pay too much attention to other people, especially in the media. But
when Im focused, I can do amazing things. Ive definitely seen it happen before: One
minute I will be drawing some of the most detailed fabric in the world, like McFarlane,
and then the next, Im drawing like a 12-year-old. Thats so weird, how easy it is for me
to lose my nerve, bravery, and focus. The worlds a scary place I guess. I guess thats
why I should keep my nose buried in the books.
----I find myself browsing anime in general and modern manga less and less, and Western
comics more and more for inspirational material, and reference. Theyre plenty detailed
enough. It doesnt need to be Asian just to be good. And being Asian doesnt always
make it perfect or God. Thats mostly a myth, especially with the way the current
generation of artists view it. Why would I want to hang around a bunch of people who
take all the fun out of it, out of life and whatnot.
----I have a net worth now, and its microscopic, but it does exist. My net worth is now
$8.65, until I spend some of it of course. But still, as Ive said, especially recently. Thats
$8 I earned and made out of nothing, a pile of dreams and ambition. Thats how much
money its made me so far: $8, from succeeding on the internet. Its hard enough to make
$1 of your own efforts in America during the New Millennium, let alone $1 million or
something massive like $1 billion. In America, people make a BIG deal out of self-made
money, yet that is exactly what Im beginning to accumulate and earn. Finally.
---Now that Im on Adsenses payroll, Im technically a Google partner. Im one of the
publishers and webmasters they pay, or at least will pay in the near future. I like being a
Google Partner.
Actually, technically Ive been a Google partner all along this entire time, undercover
sort of, or at the very least existing as a secret Google partner. I wasnt aware I was one
for a long time now. And I didnt make money off of it until just this week in mid
October.
I just hope I dont lose my drive to draw, write, and generally work hard, once my
finances catch up to my creativity. If and when they do, Ill cross that bridge when I
come to it.

P a g e | 692

----Were definitely living in a more nasty, abrasive, rude, and offensive modern-future
world than we used to be. Even the 90s were nicer than things are now.
----Potential Future Websites to make

Non WCN webcomics site for my artwork, after I get the hang of Manga Studio
Video hosting site (non-YouTube) hosting older videos or new videos of old
forgotten non-anime 90s TV shows. One site per show.
----

Sometimes it doesnt matter how detailed art is when it comes to profiting from your
work. I draw well, Ill admit, but I dont draw better than everyone. But that hasnt
stopped me from turning a profit off of my work. A lot of it is timing, and being in the
right place at the right time, as well as marketing your work, even if that marketing and
selling is not done face to face, or even directly. When forced to directly approach
potential buyers with my artwork, I would always fail miserably. But when I got
sponsors, after a while, by now Ive started making a little bit of money for my
productivity. It isnt much in the big picture, but in a right-here-right-now look at the
shitty economy type of way and look how many other artists havent gotten as far as me
in the big race type of way, it makes all the difference in the world. No, making money as
an artist has nothing to do with drawing better than your competition. Its a matter of
thinking smarterin a business and entrepreneurial sense.
---The scariest thing about succeeding in showbusiness and royalty payments is that,
technically after you start earning, you could produce filler for the rest of youre life and
it would suck, but if people keep clicking and watching and reading, it makes very little
difference how bad that filler is. Nothing stops the machine once its started. You dont
want to do that of course, produce filler your whole life just because you bring in the
numbers, but it can really quite easily take the focus off of quality or even quantity and
replace it purely with profit, money, cash, business investments, the bottom line. Thats
one of the hazards that goes with dealing with showbusiness. How much effort should be
put into entertaining, and how much should be invested into making actual money, and
how do you balance and place the two, when it comes to projects and the marketing
thereof. Thats all part of the 3% rule. Only 3% of the people online have this kind of
influence on what stays and goes, purely from an economic and business standpoint.
Exactly how much does hacking, cyberbullies, stalkers and other such criminals and
emotional terrorists, bad neighbors, road rage, Florida, slander from media companies,

P a g e | 693

and espionageeither corporate or privatefactor into schizophrenia, auditory

hallucination, psychopathology, sadism, sociopathology. In other words, just how much
of the craziness and stress is my own dementia, and how much of it is difficulty,
suffering, and stress brought on by society, bullies, and the world. Its hard to say its
only just one side (society) or just the other (mania). In other words, the media tells me
people are to blame for my problems. Meanwhile my parents and shrinks tell me I really
have no one to blame but myself, for being a sick and pathetic unhygienic maladjusted
individual. Both seem strongly convinced SOMETHING is wrong with my life. But one
wants me to blame myself and the world, and the other party just wants me to blame
myself. The former opinion is right.
---I despise middle class politics, and would, if I could live the life of either a King or a
Martyr. Either an aristocrat or working class hero. There isnt much room in-between
those two points for me, even if thats only where Im at now. Im not in the middle by
choice. I really do have a strong desire for aristocracy and folk heroes.
Though I do lean toward the Left, not many people know this, but my adoptive father is a
big time right wing prescription drugstore pharmacist, who is a pillar of the local
community. Ive actually never had to worry about stability with him around. Hes quite
obsessed with work and family, but also sports, financing, and politics. Im pretty much
the opposite of all that. I know nothing about taking care of myself in terms of medical
knowledge or medicine. My father, much as I hate to admit it here, is a pillar of my
private life. I often say how much I hate him, but the truth is he does do a lot for me and
provide for me, even if he can be a bit of a blowhard in person.
Mystic, Scientist, Technologist, Virtuoso, Author, Inventor, Entrepreneur, Genius,
Wannabe-Aristocrat, Engineer, Artist, Power Player, Auteur, Filmmaker, Storyteller,
Analytical, Wanderer, Musician, Polymath, Philosopher, and Psychic Visionary
These are the things that make me, me. I am all these things and more. I am familiar with
all of these fields, their titles, how to define those fields, and more.
----When I die, Im not going to be survived by any descendents. The only surviving
members of my family who will know anything of my existence after my passing will be
adoptive family members. So my genes will not be passed on.
Im not the first person to wonder why one of my teachers is so anti-Japanese and so proDisney. Its been a while since Ive talked to him, but no amount of convincing will
prove to him anime is better than Disney. Hes a tenacious pro-Western animation / antianime animator, and he definitely represents a certain portion of the American animation
industry. Meanwhile I have plenty of other friends in person and online who love anime

P a g e | 694

and are always asking me for recommendations. Some people hate women. Some people
hate kids. That former teacher hates Jap-imation. If you ask me thats ignorant and
close minded, and it hurts the industry, discouraging kids from pursuing a hobby and
career that you yourself are ignorant of. But thats just me.
List:
(Old Tech)

File Management of Video Files (Windows Media)

DVD-Recorder
Magic DVD Ripper
DVD Authoring
YouTube
WMV (Windows Media Video Player)

(New Tech)

HTPC
DVD Prototype
Windows Media Video Player Playlist (WMV, Media Player)
HDMI Cable
Netflix Instant Queue
Roku Streaming Media Player
PC TV Tuner

Collections Im still going through:

DVD Wallet 1 (homemade, burnt, copied, recorded, authored DVDS)

DVD Wallet 2 (purchased DVDs)
Ripped Video Collection (WMV)

Internet Streaming Media and Video:

Netflix Instant Queue

Amazon Video-On-Demand
YouTube Collection
Websites Hulu, Funimation, AdultSwim, Crunchyroll, Manga, Cartoon Network
-----

P a g e | 695

Just finished watching one first episode each for the following titles:
Ergo Proxy
Berserk
Pilot Candidate
Loonatics Unleashed
I currently own 325 DVD discs with video on them, and with 50% of them being
purchased and pre-manufactured, and the other 50% being burnt, authored, and recorded
by me. I take great pride in my DVD disc collection.
Massive Personal Collections I own
DVD Collection
Journal Collection
Computer Printout Collection
Artwork Collection
Book and Comic Book Collection
Spiral Notebook Collection
CD Album Collection
MP3 Collection
Magazine Collection
DVR Collection
Computer Folder, Software, and File Collection
Ripped Video Collection
Internet Bookmarks Collection
Remember, when handling collectibles, Always ask the collector before you touch his
collection of DVDs. To do otherwise is quite the mistake.
Remember kids, always ask before you touch.
----Bottom line: If I know theyre copying me superficially, other people do too. Whatever I
become aware of from this point on here, a lot of other people will too. This journal is
almost like having my own national book or international website. It certainly gets
enough response from the media to be perceived that way. If you dont want it appearing
on the front page of the New York Times, dont write it down, or click.
Now I know why I spent an entire decade of my life in secret confidential development
hell, toying with the idea of bringing Parallax to manifestation, but never going through
with it. Aside from not having enough raw material to fill up a 6 volume graphic novel
seriesgive or takeon some level I realized it cant just repeat what AKIRA and
Cerebus have done, it has to add to that mythos. That and it couldnt be entirely sword

P a g e | 696

and sandal, like Cerebus and Conan or Jedi, like Star Wars, and it couldnt just by
cyberpunk and guns and flight and mass Post-Apocalyptic Destruction, like AKIRA. It
had to do the unenviable task of synthesizing those two worlds and styles into a more
contemporary looking hybrid of the two. Spawn + Cerebus + AKIRA + Scud + Sin City
+ Blade of the Immortal = Parallax.
----Weird is good. Weird is innovative and aesthetically intelligent. Weird is profound, and
entertaining. Weird things are often entertaining. That is why I like weirdness. That is
why I like science-fiction, fantasy, animation, anime, manga, comic books, international
culture & the paranormal: Because they are weird. In my opinion, the weirder it is, more
often than not, the more entertaining it is. Weird isnt always scary. That would be horror
films. Fantastical weirdness in some ways is often never scary to me, and rather than
driving me away, it comforts me. I myself am a bit weird. To me, weird = cool.
My favorite tee shirt is the Russell Athletic cotton black long sleeve. Apparently my
favorite shirt is an athletic brand shirt. Last name Greatest. First name Eva.
----22 Talk
Adult life offers productive years that can send you sailing up the ladder of success. This
period will find you placed in charge of big projects, accomplishing huge achievements,
and functioning or striving for a spot at the top of the heap. Retirement is never one of
complete leisure. Successful. Visionary. You are a born creator of ideas that benefit
humanity. With this life path, you have enough dreams and vision to create something
huge and everlasting in the physical world that will last for centuries after your death and
leave behind a legacy for you.
----Its very unfortunate that the Western comic book industry is dying. I mean think about
it. How many notable alternative, fantasy, hero, and science fiction books, indie or
otherwise, have achieved fame in the last decade? 1, 2, at the most? The rest are just
webcomics, like Megatokyo, reprints of the classics, and stuff like The Boondocks, which
is only a famous comic because of the TV show that shares its name. Part of the deal is
manga from Japan has been stealing all of Americas business. More money is going into
Japan recently than has ever gone into American shows and comic books in the last
decade. Im not exactly surrounded by peers when it comes to my line of work, unless
you want to count all the 6 and 12 year olds on DeviantART. I prefer not to count them,
though. They disturb me. Make me sick.
-----

P a g e | 697

Let me emphasize the main pieces of this pie, to clarify why the current state of the
market is so frightening:

You have the Japanese manga market, and the American manga market that goes
with it, which dominates places like Amazon and Borders, bookstores in other
words. There is also the publishers like Tokyopop that publish American-created
manga titles, and sell them through the venue of what might be called The
Bookstore Market, which has become to the Direct Market what Netflix is to
Blockbuster, technically speaking.

Then you have the Direct Market. What has traditionally been known as
American comics, comic shops of all sorts and shades and varieties; indie
comics, superheroes, Dark Horse, Jhonen Vasquez, Spawn, Bone, Cerebus, XMen, Batman. All that jazz.

Then you have the so-called small but growing web comics and web manga
markets. The DeviantARTs and WCNs of the world, and other such websites.
Also, motion comics.

And then there are the multimedia publishing franchises: The Bleaches, Narutos,
Ninja Turtles, and Adult Swim Shows based on comic books.

Each one of these venues takes up a significant chunk of the pop culture market places,
and the marketplace has been anything but stable, what with the economy going from
2001 to 2010 and beyond.
While yes, the Bookstore Market is more profitable for American comic book
creatorsparticularly those that draw manga like the ones at Tokyopop mostlyand
actually pays better for creators than the Direct Market in some instances, if you have a
hit creator and titles, this shift in popularity and public interest is not without its share of
critics, haters, and general adversaries and antagonists, due to the fact that its new, and a
shifting value system in society. In a perfect world, one famous comic book creator could
easily sell hundreds of thousands of books in both the Direct AND Bookstore Markets.
But unfortunately, it seems as though creators of more traditional western styles succeed
at getting shelf space in the direct market shelves, and creators who embrace the Japanese
comics aesthetics, with rare exceptions like Becky Cloonan and certain other genre
bending Dark Horse and Tokyopop creators. So far, my art and comics do well on the
internet, but as of now, theyve failed to find gravity or commercial weight in the
traditional book, paper, & shelf market. I only have a few dollars to show for my
efforts, so that whole element is pretty self explanatory, I like to think.
As Scott Pilgrim has already proven, if you can make it onto both the Amazon and Adult
Swim hitlists, youve probably got it made. Bryan OMalley certainly does.

P a g e | 698

Im beginning to suspect there are 1 or 2 reasons why the comic book and animation
media dont pay me much mind, with rare exceptions:

One theory is that I dont really make the big bucks. The media likes artists that
are profitable. Not ones that want to be but arent. There are a million of those.

The other theory is that if someone knows of my presence online, for many of
those people theyre all too aware of my natural habit and tendency to just be all
talk and far too little action. Id often prefer to shoot my keyboard mouth off than
keep my pencil moving.
-----

Ive seen the webcomics that exist so far, and whats been done with them by most of the
creators out there, so far, is not exactly what I would call groundbreaking. Id still
rather be reading print comics. But that tide in public opinion, That webcomics suck and
no one should be paid to make them could be beginning to change. Ive had a vision of a
more sophisticated brand of webcomic for a long time now. And as long as the traditional
print world continues to reject me, I will continue to publish online at places like WCN,
and self-publish on Demand, through sites like Lulu. I constantly have a vision of
potential when it comes to vanity press and online publishing. But its not going to
happen unless I take the initiative myself. I have to pave the way myself, alone and
entirely alone, if necessary. Ive got the skills, now all I have to do is train and practice. I
must practice. Ill never accomplish anything if I dont practice and spend at least 10 to
20 hours a week drawing accumulatively speaking. I do like the DeviantART regular
comics panels section quite a bit more, by quite a lot than I do the DA manga panels
section. People in the latter section just arent trying to take what they do seriously, so I
dont take them seriously either. People in the regular comics panel section often do take
their artwork and work routines seriously. Quite a few are professional or of a
professional level.
---Now that my productivity seems to be accelerating again, I cant help but wonder, was I
really lacking in motivation and energy and drive and vitality and was I really depressed
and fat and fatigued and exhausted? Was it really the medication and excessive food and
drink consumption and bad colon to blame? OR, was it just the fact that I never worked
up enough energy to de-clutter crucial parts of my floor, and never thought to make a decluttered path between my bed and the drawing table with the light box. In other words,
was it really myself weighing me down in my efforts to develop an artists work ethic,
willpower, and disciplineor was it just the fact that I never had a real strategy for decluttering my room until just now? Was that the entire reason I wasnt as productive as I
could have been at drawing in sketchbooks, comic book panels on pages, and webcomics
panelsbecause I never thought to develop a room and studio de-cluttering, de-fatiguing,
pro-healthy work strategy in the last three years Ive been making webcomics sites for??
Was making the switch from inactivity to productivity really as simple as cleaning my

P a g e | 699

room, or merely clearing a path from my bed to my workstation?? Something made a lot
less stressful to live and work in my studio house room today, and I strongly suspect it
was the de-cluttering planning, strategy, and strategizing that helped meIt helped me
relax, and not be so uptight, and helped me to get more than 10 pages of drawings done
today.
----Daily Private and Professional Battles: Checklist
Areas to Maintain, Improve, and Continue Refining and Working on
[Check on Their Progress Daily, if not Hourly]

Keeping Room Organized (pathway to desk)

Drawing
Screenwriting
Hygeine and Health
Fitness, Exercise, and Weight Loss
----Law of Power:
Act Like a King to be Treated Like One

The eyes of God, society, the public, your family, and peers are upon you at all times.
Therefore you must be authentically virtuous and humane at all times. If you want to be
considered the good guy, you must learn to and teach yourself to be authentically good,
wise, never hateful, and patient, as well as humble and virtuous. In other words: Ideally
speaking you want to be the perfect person. You want to achieve perfection, not only in
your creative work, but in your private life as well. Never let yourself get fat and lazy as I
did to myself at one point. Im still trying to shake off that condition. I let myself slip just
a little bit, and it ended up being one of the most torturous periods of my life. It was
mortifying. No more of that. From now on, the walls have eyes and ears, and I know
people are always watching. Therefore I must be pure at least on some level on all
accounts. I must return to the purity I had in the past before I lost it.
----Im making a new resolution to myself, and not allowing myself to scan artwork every
day, or even every week or month. Because someone always hacks in. Thats obviously
the only reason I scan my work, the hope of showing it off to the internet Trojan spy
crowd. I really need to stop doing that. For one thing they never understand what Im
trying to achieve. For another, it puts me at a competitive disadvantage to have new or
new-ish artwork scanned onto my computer. Its a stupid mistake, and I need to learn

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scanning drawings, even the act of having new drawings scanned and on my hard drive
anytime sooner than 4 months after I draw them is not cool and not okay. Not cool. Not
okay. Its just not acceptable. If its on there, someone will copy the post or structure and
attempt to rip it off every time, claiming it as their own on DeviantART like the fraud
they are, and Im back to having no original pieces of my own. Do I really want a fate
like that? No. I dont.
----Fight scenes and costume design aside, the Japanese level of comic book and animation
drawing is just too complex for me to compete with on an even level. Id be much better
off competing with traditional American artists, on an American level. No matter what I
do, it will always be considered exciting and innovative by somebody, so I dont have
that to worry about. I just have to make sure other peoples foolishness doesnt get in the
way of my own work plans. Im off to a good start. But Im going to have to learn that
Ill have to draw a lot of content I dont necessarily like in real life. When youre
telling a story, you need to also include details you dont like, but are necessary parts
of getting your narrative across. If artists only drew what they liked and nothing
they didnt, there wouldnt be any finished comics out there. All comics would only
be partially complete. There needs to be that emotional filler there, for transitional
scenes and the passage of time in a fictional world. Not to mention props and
backgrounds.
---This must be some kind of a record. I drew 40 pages of drawings in less than 2 days. And
I didnt scan any of them. Turns out my art can be pretty powerful if I invest at least some
serious work into it, and dont stop keeping the pencil moving just because I feel like it.
----For those of us familiar with the history of contemporary TV anime in this country, Im
pretty sure other American fans of anime, both young and old, are aware of a feeling of
absence in this country, when it comes to the creators of such popular shows on TV that
are anime TV Shows. What Im getting at is, with half or more of the most popular shows
in this country, in the world, because its also the most popular and profitable in the
world, its odd to think of how you can now have an enormously profitable franchise in
both Japan and the United States, and not even be a resident nor citizen of this country. I
have nothing against global entertainment really, but it strikes me as just a little weird
that you can achieve cult-hit status in America as a media auteur and creator, and never
even visit the United States. Its this way with all 100% anime shows. Youre not even
there to turn on the TV and see how famous and successful you, your comics, and your
animated anime series are. Thats got to be a weird feeling on both sides. I mean they still
get paid, but they dont really get to witness the cultural impact of their success as
Easterners in the West. I guess TV and anime are sort of weird like that.

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-----Im building a more influential, more direct, more physical foundation of stability,
start with my own private life; A foundation of temperament, personality, hygiene,
health, work ethic, artistic productivity, structure, organization, independence,
spiritual focusand cleanliness. If I dont have these energy foundation fields in line,
and soon, my creative and intellectual work will suffer and diminish even more because
of it. Im recreating my life from the ground up. Cutting unneeded contacts that I dont
find a use for anymore, severing ties to old outdated allies that may not longer be on my
side, or who, for all I know, have forgotten about me and dont really care about their
relationship with me anymore. Were different people now, Me, Johnny, Amanda, Chris,
Lindsey, Phil, and Nicole. We can no longer claim we really know much about one
another anymore. Im at peace with this. It is time to find new contacts and friends, if
any. Im slowly coming to accept my solitude, lonesomeness, and alone-ness. Friendship,
affection, and love offer very little to me as a functioning adult. Id like to say my
profession can afford me new friends, but there is no guarantee of that. From recently on
upward, Im pretty much on my own. I cant expect anyone else to bail me out like they
have in the past. Not if I ever want a life of my own. I cant afford to save the world
anymore. The Brian Johnston days are over and history. Thats in the past. From this
period in time on, I have to focus on saving myself before its too late. I might not be able
to take care of anyone else at the moment, save anyone and whatnot. But I can save
myself, and that is good enough for me.
----As it turns out I am making some progress in my pursuits.

My drawings are getting more detailed

Its getting easier to draw (pictures and panels on pages)
Im getting healthier and more fit
Im making a little bit of money on a regular basis
My hygiene is getting better
Im drawing more often

But honestly, I cant figure out whether Im enviable or pitiable. Some seem to think Im
the former. Others think Im the latter. Its the same with the hero and villain thing. To
some I am a hero. To others, Im a villain. Im getting a lot of mixed reactions in media
culture on how writers think people actually perceive me. Im not getting any consistent
feedback. It keeps swaying to and fro, from failure to success, from charismatic to
terrifying, from humiliating to honorable, and from evil too good. Well, at least with TV
and movies it is. Around here its just me and my family and their friends. They still
think of me the same way they always have, despite constant onslaught of negativity and
personal attacks on the television. If you ask me Im doing quite well, but that is just me.
My opinion of myself clearly is not very influential to public opinion. It never really
penetrates that Great Wall of Media Reputation and Personality.

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I pretty much dont talk about my first and maybe only job in TV or anymore. Im
surprised people are still interested in that. Since then Ive pretty much stuck to
webcomics. Japanese anime industry politics and the pressure of being a TV anime show
newbie kind ofgot to me. It had me considerably stressed out a few years back. I was
terrified of disappointing my boss, and I was pretty convinced that was exactly what I
accidentally did. I missed a lot of cues and probably overstepped my boundaries, which I
didnt completely understand or sense at the time, and Im certain they took offense to it,
and still do.
---I dont draw comics without fighting, guns, and combat in them, unless its dramatic
dialogue. Humor and romance are two concepts that are lost on me. I have no interest in
portraying romance of humor in my comics unless it applies to the overall story, which is
unlikely. Whether its a sword fight or a fist fight, or a gun fight, I will be there to draw it
in action. Action is my middle name. Joseph Action Alberts.
----Im happy. Healed, and at peace. Just published, premiered, promoted, and launched my
newest webcomics and website project, Monocomics.com. I sensed I might be getting
more productive in the comic book pages department, once this whole Manga Studio
Debut ordering thing gets in order. My adsense paycheck and my social security check
still arent here, but the s.s. paycheck isnt scheduled to get here until the tail end of
October, either October 31st, or November 1st. Im enjoying watching stuff like the anime
Deltora Quest, and other shows like Cosmic Quantum Ray (starring Tom Kenny, Chiara
Zanni and Sam Vincent! Three of my favorites) on The Hub network. Other than that,
Im watching Dragon Ball Z Kai on Nicktoons, Tuff Puppy on Nickelodeon, and Naruto
Shippuden on Disney XD. The writing and art quality and entertainment values of
numerous new shows on TV seems to be improving quite a bit overall. Finally Cartoon
Network isnt the only network Im watching regularly, and thats saying something.
Honestly? I have two creative heroes Id like to work with one day, other than certain
voice actors and Production I.G. and Funimation. One day Id love to work on something,
some kind of collaborative or employed project with George Lucas or Todd McFarlane. I
have a deep love for almost everything that has anything to do with Star Wars and
Spawn. Theyre so iconic, so masculine, so archetypal. I can honestly say I could see
Mono or some character or design Id draw like him easily fitting into the Spawn and/or
Star Wars universe(s).But to get to that level, to get enough respect to be considered as a
writer or designer for Spawn or Star Wars, Ive first got to do my own thing with Mono
and his world and cast of fellow freaks. Aside from the fact that theyre very good, very
smart businessmen, I feel like I share a lot of common ground with such heavyweights as
George Lucas and Todd McFarlane, in terms of harboring ones own creative vision and
masterwork. At the very least, or most, Id at least hope to talk with them or interact with
them some day.

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I do like the whole cop show element of Ghost in the Shell. I aim to emulate that style
of genre-based storytelling. Noir notan cop show meets wuxia pian sword and planet. Im
a big genre buff.
----Wow. Some guys actually get paid to write spec scripts on assignment. I wish I was that
lucky. It might be a nice way to make a living. But first I must prove I know how to
write a script on assignment.
----Turns out Im already pretty prolific at drawing and editing together comic book pages,
without even knowing it. I actually created a lot more comic book layout pages than I
initially thought. And all this time I was fretting over being able to do enough work. The
entire time I was fretting and agonizing over not drawing comic book pages and
Artists Block and Fatigue and How will I ever draw that many pages while I was
doing all that doubting myself and whining, I ended up drawing over 55 pages of comic
book layouts! (upon a recent count)
Fucked up things:
OK, Im starting to understand how the misfortune in my life functions. Generally when
something really fucked up is happening, like say a Brian Johnston or 9-11 type situation,
my parents will often try to force me into dangerous situations unaware of the danger,
figuring that the situation is always harmless, our son is not in harms way, and pressure
me to brave the battlefield. It happened on 2 main occasions and moments of great and
evil dangerous crises so far, the first was 9-11, the second was Brian Johnston and the
Gary Busey show, the first in the afternoon, the second right at night and closer to home.
9-111: my parents forced me to go to work at the supermarket even when I refused to,
at the supermarket in the afternoon a few hours after 9-11 struck, which subsequently
made my boss react by threatening to kill me because you look like a middle eastern
person.. First time someone threatened me because my face matched the description of
the public menace in some of my more disgruntled peers eyes.
Brian Johnston / Gary Busey / Adam De La Pena TV Special: Once again my parents aid
in my destruction by forcing me to go into what was not previously perceived as a
dangerous situation when it really was, with Brian Johnston trying to have me killed, or
at least kill yourself, or at the very least endanger my life, what with the Picket up
guy who lived across the fence from me, who drove up next me, threatened/harassed me
publicly from his white colored truck in front of my house when my parents succeeded in
endangering me unintentionally yet again by having me take the garbage out (something I
dont do anymore upon reaction to public outrage)
There was also the time when some sadistic sicko journalists people wanted to play
games with my life, enacted an epic smear campaign against me with doubles and

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everything, and made fake news stories that probably never happened, with look-alike
mugshot posters of rapists and murderers and various other sorts of sickos that exploited
their likeness to my own face with fake made up or photoshopped mugshots, and timed
the airings of the photos to when my parents forced me to let them drive me out in public
in the middle of heavy traffic on my way to various repeat appointments with medical
and education professionals. I never would have figured the news would follow Brian
Johnsons ASMB photo album scandal, and were actually trying to steal my soul. And
yet they were. Thats how you steal a persons soul is by taking or stealing their photo.
The timing of those serious offenses and incidents was just a little too convenient to not
be suspicious of if you work for the police or FBI or the government. I was well aware
they were trying to enact a large scale high resource smear campaign against me and
make my face look infamous, like a shady criminal by associative subliminal messages.
Certain talk show hosts who are now cancelled tried to do something similar as well. Im
used to the media attempting to rob me of my soul at gunpoint, and steal my soul from
me. My soul is still mine though, so Im okay.
My parents are definitely stupid when it comes to concealment, evasive maneuvering,
stealth, and avoidance tactics. I saw all those situations happening before they
happened, yet during each of those times and incidents and dangerous situations caused
by the foolishness and criminal, predatory tendencies of authority figures and
mercenaries, because such kinds of events never happened before, I was unable to spot
them and avoid them. No one bothered to warn me other than me, or my psychic
intuition, the voice in my head. I tried to stop them, but my parents refused to see the
danger in them before they became that big thing, and marched me out onto the frontline
(traffic) anyway, like they werent even concerned about how dangerous and sociopathic
and drug-alcohol-fueled other people and society are. Next time a crisis happens, if it
does, Im planning on being prepared, by refusing to go to the front line if bad timing
arises, at any cost.
-----Generally, either fortunately, or unfortunately, the consensus in the professional anime
world seems to be, if it appeals to people like me, then it will appeal to the west in
general, citing examples of mega successful anime in the West that I like, such as
Cowboy Bebop, Gundam, Akira, Ghost in the Shell, FLCL, Deltora Quest, Naruto,
Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and Dragon Ball. Unfortunately, some people think anime
appealing to any kind of mainstream TV audience in the U.S. is a fluke, but I dont
believe that for a second. I believe if it is popular in the United States, and its from
Japan, its got to have something going for it.
----Work to be done for Parallax
Project / (materials necessary)

P a g e | 705

Fighting studies (Daily, mechanical pencil, paper, light table)

Architecture studies (weekly, monthly, pen, mechanical pencil, ruler, light table)
Comic book pages (pencils, mechanical pens, paper, thumbnails, light table,
Manga Studio Debut)
Panels (pencil, pens, thumbnails, sketchbooks, scanner, Manga Studio, light table)
Comic Book script (Notebooks, Notes, CeltX, Microsoft Word)
TV Animation script (Notebooks, Notes, CeltX, DVDS, Microsoft Word)
Storyboards (Storyboard panel paper, Pencils, Pens, light table, thumbnails)
-----

Two of the most important things to meprobably mostly as a Scorpiowhat I measure

my own success in reality by, is financial, economic success, and achievements,
enterprises, and foundations of big and epic scales.
If I count all the pages I spent writing descriptions of Parallaxs series intent, content,
content emphasis, and business context, what it amounts to is, if I dont count the
extended series synopsis I have in my room somewhere

So far my Parallax Pitch and Commentary Bible is 40 pages long. Its definitely
some sort of a Series Bible, some genre of Bible for Comics and TV. I just
havent figured out what it is yet. The papers need some editing. They need to be
rewritten.
The Parallax Writers and Artist Design Bibles are a bit longer.

It did take me a while to realize, but as a popular manga-ka in America, one of the leaders
of a new movement in pop culture, Im just as intimidating as any sitcom or cop-show
writer on network television or in Hollywood. Im just as formidable of an opponent and
as intimidating as any of them. They may be scary, but Im scary too. Except I dont
advertise how afraid a lot of people really are of me. I prefer to be mistaken for someone
whos harmless, because in person, I am harmless. Its safer that way. That comes with
the power. A lot of people think power is fear, but that is not always true. Its more likely
to make you a bully than feared. And bullies are nothing more than thugs.
----Not to brag, but Im changing the game and face of comics, indie comics, web comics,
manga, video, and online streaming video.
---Villains List:
Krin
Nosferatu

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Onom
Percepto
Fallen, The Dark Army
Jonathan
The Swat Team
The Cops
Shadow Op Moles
----Turns out much of my power and influence comes from being imitable. A lot of people
copy me, whether its my physical look or the stylistic elements of my comic book series:
Projects that share similarities in characters and atmosphere:

Renaissance
Equilibrium
Black Blood Brothers
Trinity Blood
Darker Than Black
Hipira
Storm Hawks
Bleach
Karas I & II
Black Butler
Terminator: Salvation
Gamer
Sword of the Stranger
Code Geass
Legend of the Seeker
The Force Unleashed II
SW: The Clone Wars
Ben 10 Alien Force
Generator Rex
W.I.T.C.H.
Hitman
Skull Man
Wild Adaptor
Devil May Cry
Claymore
Deltora Quest
Fullmetal Alchemist
Strait Jacket
D-Gray Man
Kiba
Amount I got paid for all that imitation: $9.00. Adsense

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-----YouTube is still very successful, not surprising in my eyes. It now averages 2 billion
viewers a day from nearly every continent in the world. Thats a larger audience than
ABC, CBS, and NBC combined. Its a larger audience than any TV network, anywhere in
the world! Im quite proud to be a contributing member to such a community and culture.
Social media and whatnot. YouTube is probably the worlds largest, most powerful
media broadcaster in video broadcasting history. It just happens to be on the web. And to
think, I may not look the part, but technically speaking, the truth is, Im the first and
earliest YouTube anime broadcaster in history (mid 2005), as far as I know, purely
because I was the first person who thought to do such a thing. Endless replicas, subtitles,
Openings, and many actual anime distributors and producers even in Japan followed the
example I initially set. I set the template and archetype millions of users follow on
hundreds of broadcasting sites. The only ones doing that sort of thing before me was
AMV producers/editors on AMV sites (which never worked properly in terms of
downloading before Adobe Flash came along), Toonami Digital Arsenal, and
ASFdotcom.net ([adult swim]).
My own current channel SplitAtomBoom, has now reached 100,000 video views.
I will draw my panel compositions by hand if I need to. But Im planning on eventually
creating all of my panel boarders and composition sizing digitally. Its going to be
awesome. I hate drawing panels and sizing panel compositions traditionally. I plan to do
all my page layouts and panel sizes by computer at one point, permanently, if I can find a
way to do that with Manga Studio Debut or EX.
Now that Im trying panels the new school way (digitally), much like lettering is done
digitally by most letterers in comics, I predict that in the future, if my way of producing
and composing comic book pages succeeds, is imitable, and becomes popularized, like so
many of my other handiworks, then drawing or sizing, cutting and pasting, and
designing panels will become more and more like lettering in the future: Digital.
Ive just realized something. I have what is known as the fat gene. Obesity runs in my
family. My birth family may or may not be ugly, but they are all more than likely to all
be fat as hell. I just know some people who Ive never met in my biological family are
out therebeing fat. But I dont have to be like them. It might be harder to lose weight, I
know Im actually attempting to work against one of the biggest opponents of all:
Genetics and DNA, but now that I know I have the fat gene, I feel its that much more
necessary for me to exercise daily if possible, or at least weekly, and cut back on fa(s)t
food eating, which will surely give me a heart attack if I indulge myself in fa(s)t food and
carbonated sugar water too much. Im biologically predisposed to obesity and being
huge(!), because my birth parents are both fat, or at the very least my mother was. My
father probably was too, but not like Ive become. I need to fix this. Genetics and DNA
wont make a difference to the Gods when they give me a heart attack at the age of 42.

P a g e | 708

This obesity insanity needs to stop. Yes I am naturally fat and yes, I WILL have a heart
attack or diabetes later in life if I dont watch what I eat and exercise.
---Not a big fan of the art of most adult swim comedy shows, unless its ones like
Metalocalypse and The Boondocks. BUT, I do find another element of their shows
appealing. The writing and humor of Adult Swims lineup is both hilarious and inventive,
not to mention at times very deep, smart, half-topical, half-not-topical, and innovative.
Id love to write a script for an adult swim show. Doubt it would happen right away
though. To them, Im just another guy who only does his own stuff.
OK, I have my villains list, but Im going to need to learn how to draw villains. And what
better time to learn how to draw villains, minions, antichrists, creepy characters, goons,
bad guys, baddies, and stooges than right after Halloween, the celebration of all that is
scary.
----Sword Lore
Wuxia Lore
Samurai Lore
Epic Lore
Science-Fantasy Lore
Sword and Apocalypse Lore
----By tomorrow, Ill be able to use my laptop PC as both a DVR and a TV, because Im
finally getting a PC Tuner. Ive been waiting for over a month to get one.
I also want to buy some academic theory and practice books on film and video editing.
Speaking of editing and camera shots: Other than the dutch and oblique angle, Id have
to say the aspect angle or perhaps the atmospheric close-up shot.
People who use such powerful editing camera shot are:
Salvador Dali (as a filmmaker)
Sergei Eisenstein
Maya Deren
Alfred Hitchcock
Osamu Tezuka TV shows and films
-----

P a g e | 709

Conspiracy Theory: There are probably some people out there who hunt celebrities down
and kill them, after seeing them on TV. Serial murderers who target the famous by spying
on them, tapping their phones, and hacking into their computers. The Brian Johnstons and
Bellamys of the world. I know some of the people Ive come across have taken strong
measures against my life, and at the very least hope to sabotage it. Anyone making the
tabloids and getting humiliated publicly is a likely target. Mel Gibson, Britney Spears,
Michael Jackson, Tiger Woods, Kanye West, Michael Richards, others. Im pretty sure
theyre all been targeted for sabotage by somebody. For all we know that could all be the
same guy, gal, or people doing that. That could all be one masterminds media handiwork
on display for him or her to brag about to their friends. Whether or not theres actual
serial or one time murders behind these plans is up for debate, but they are out there.
Much of the damage is done by manipulating people. There have been quite a few
celebrity murder plots uncovered lately by would be assassins. Being a celebrity
nowadays is not as peaceful, happy, or safe as it used to be. Actually, its likely to
jeopardize your safety and put you in deaths crosshairs. Ive been there on a smaller
level. I know how that is. Some of these people lurk on DeviantART and ASMB, which
would explain why those places are so negative and scary, saboteur-filled, and
slanderous. Theyre filled with sociopaths, straight out of The Sociopath Next Door. Like
Brian Johnson, a former secret member of those boards, who had an agenda against me
at the time. Most people who plot against celebrities on TV and in the news and media
and tabloids are sociopaths on one level. I dont know what it is about fame that makes
some people act so sociopathic and psychotic.
BOOKMARK
Ive grown quite resentful, sitting back and watching certain countries on foreign soil
monopolize an entire world entertainment industry. Everyones so busy encouraging the
monopolies, they forgot what running a small, efficient, and might I add, AMERICAN
operation is really like. Weve gotten fat, lazy, and fatigued from watching other
countries stealing our own success and jobs from people (like me and others) in our own
country that weve forgotten how to compete, even when everything the competition
overseas makes looks formulaic and like all the same shit, for the most part. No variety. I
have no time to envy that anymore. I have to finish my work. I only care about what Im
doing, here and now, in the United States of America. Fuck the foreign market. Screw
those guys. Im tired of watching them monopolize the world market. Local competition
is not such a bad thing. But the key question is can we heal the damage foreigners have
done to OUR market. I doubt anyone in Asia hacks this journal. Im pretty sure its just
American traitors doing that, undermining Americas entertainment industry. I think
its safe to actually say that the U.S. and Europe have attained some kind of Love-Hate
Frenemy status with Japan and China, particularly through sites like DeviantART and
companies like Google, Disney, and Time Warner / Ted Turner / Sean Akins. I hate the
concept of what exactly a love-hate frenemy is, but its hard to not describe it that way.
This rant really doesnt have anything to do with how good the anime visuals are. Its
about The Market in the U.S., which still exists, contrary to popular opinion with
American kids.

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Conspiracy Theory: This medication my Dad is trying to prescribe to everyone is turning

the entire city of Casselberry comatose. Not good. My parents are trying to turn everyone
comatose and make everyone pass out before 1 a.m. and go to bed at bedtime early.
----You know, I think Ive been seeking the spotlight just a little too actively. I dont think I
was really meant for the spotlight the way some people are. I was meant to be an artistwriter. I dont even know if I was cut out for animation. Animation takes a lot of courage
to brave all the attention from the media and at times, other creators. The more I sought
the spotlight and a paycheck, the more it backfired and I got anything but. Sure, Ive
gotten a little bit of praise. And a little bit of pay. But I cant even attend conventions,
and my safety is often in question due to media bullies, trash talkers, and whatnot. That
and I get a lot of spam. WEIRD spam. Now that I think about it, whats with the internet,
does ANYbody even get the royal treatment anymorethat I actually like.
----I do pride myself on living a semi-peaceful semi-chaotic life hiding behind my master
media pseudonym, J.M. Strebler. And my Master Internet Nom De Plum: Spindack. I
take pride in being one of the weirdest young storytellers of the last 200 years. My life is
very weird, but I sort of pride myself on this fact anyway. I have seen a lot of weird,
sometimes thrilling, sometimes terrifying stuff in the last 2 decadesand beyond.
When you pride yourself on being progressive and eccentric, experiencing life with a
normal middle class family in the middle of Florida isnt that much different than a
prison sentence, what with psychotic, sociopathological neighbors, terrifying news
captions, bullies, a poor international or even national reputation, a strict right wing
public poorly hidden code of redneck conduct and all. Florida is everything I am not, and
it seems to pride itself on this ignorance and local arrogance. At least with some it does.
Speaking of world class weird. I must say: DeviantART. Though I do despise some of the
arrogance and conceit of certain anime artists and photographers on that site, with their
condescending comments, the site itself actually is often able to pull off the We love
weird element pretty well. And a lot of that art is not only well done and weird, but also
beautiful to look at as well. Gotta say, perversion aside, in some ways I like what they are
trying to do on a certain level. Everyone knows European and East Asian art (anime and
manga) has a monopoly on weird, its weird as fuck, makes no apologies, and people
cant get enough of how cool, designy, anime, and underground it is. As one of the
reigning champs of weird myself, I can appreciate that. Being that one damn talented
weird dick visionary rock star designer and making no apologies for what you do
whatsoever, even when youre relishing in the taboo. That speaks to me. It takes
confidence to do that sort of thing, if youre doing it the right way.
-----

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I may never get to design a paid animation model sheet, like the pros, but I should look
on the bright side: Mono Jubeis design in general is my model sheet. My Mono sketches
are my model sheets.
There seems to be rumors going around on the web that Brian broke out / got out of his
prison cell and stopped getting raped by inmates. That rumor is a fabrication. Now there
are even people trying to pose as him on Facebook, just to keep the myth alive. I find
that just a tad bit tough to buy into, considering there are a lot of guys named Brian (not
the other one) Johnson online. There are rumors, but these people clearly seem unaware
of his imprisonment and life sentence. They actually think, or want to think he still has
freedom. He doesnt. Ive already checked the online news. He was in the news a lot at
one point, specifically because hes the archetypal mastermind sociopath. He makes a
skillful villain. End of story.
----Ive made note of something, some kind of presence of living energy permeating the aura
around me and in me, my soul perhaps, but its weird! I can sense something is alive in
me and escapes onto the blank page or word processor screen or general computer screen
whenever I manifest thoughts and have a blank page or screen with me. Its a mystery
how it works, because I cant control it. Not very well anyway. Its like this living
presence with a will and mind of its own, whether its creativity, or mental illness, or
ingenuity, or power, or spiritual potency or all of those things or some of them. Its like
that psychic and unspoken kinetic energy is always there, waiting for me to draw from it
and bring something amazing, some miracles into manifestation, manifesting them and
bringing them to life. Its like there is some supernatural kinetic and psychic energy that
wants to escape, but is only able to when my mojo is in order and when I draw, get
entertained or enlightened, and when I write. This Muse, or as I used to call it, Radical
Emptiness, is my hidden power, that no matter how hard other people try, they cannot
control. Im the only one that can shut it on and off, but it is a never ending flow of
kinesis and energy. Genius, mysticism, and spiritual-creative-intellectual power often
brings with it a certain form of abstract kinetic intensity and energy, which is still largely
unexplained by the scientific community. The Jinchuriki in the Naruto Shippuden series,
as well as the Z Fighters in Dragonball Z, and Tetsuo in AKIRA, are good examples of
fictional characters possessed by kinetic energy. Its paranormal. Its not necessarily
something that can be controlled by the media or switched off by things like medication
or therapy, or any kind of Western Medical treatment for that matter. East Asians
understand it the best. They are merely writing about what they have witnessed.
----Though I have never met Hiroaki Samura, Yasuhiro Nightow, or Katsuhiro Otomo, I do
consider them among my many Sensei in the art of storytelling, design, manga, and
filmmaking, as I have studied under the vision of their work independently and quite
frequently. Part of how I got as good as I am is I studied their methods and copied from
their drawings. I didnt suspect they would really mind that fact if they found out about it,

P a g e | 712

because Im sure they did the same at my age (studied under the work of fellow artists to
develop their own styles).
Samurais have been drawn extensively in the west. And Usagi Yojimbo, Samurai
Jack, and Star Wars aside, I am one of the very first creatorsboth ever and of the 21st
Century in Artto make a serious attempt at portraying a samurai fighter in a more
dramatic, more serious, and darker kind of way. Mono Jubei may or may not be Japanese
(during the series, his actual ethnic background is never disclosed, even though he has a
Japanese family name and looks Caucasian), and he doesnt don a kimono, except out of
respect while he is training in his dojo at his headquarters, but he does intuitively know
many combat swordsmanship moves. Im eager to see what Im capable of when it comes
to drawing swordsmanship in intense battles. I have not done that many serious battle
swordsmanship illustrations and poses. Im eager to train in that area and see what I, my
pencil, and pen, are all capable of.

P a g e | 713

Chapter 26

P a g e | 714

October/November
Be Good. Be with God. The fact that my birth father was a man of God, one of the Holy
Men who served the clergy at one point definitely makes for interesting biographical
data, if such a record ever becomes compiled.
----I know what I want. I want to be recognized as a designer, storyteller, and artist. Im
indifferent to selling out and getting my own show, but I definitely want to have my own
coffee table art book at one point:
Things and people that have art books:
Min-Woo Hyung
Hiroaki Samura
Yoshiyuki Sadamoto
Todd McFarlane
Frank Miller
Star Wars
Osamu Tezuka
Walt Disney Feature Animation
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Oban Star-Racers
Syd Mead
Paul Pope
Jhonen Vasqeuz
Moebius
Katsuhiro Otomo
Metropolis Blade Runner
Yasuhiro Nightow
Tim Burton
Greg Capullo
Jamie Hewlett
Alan Lee
American Manga Creators
Fung Chin Pang
I want to be that good one day, or at the very least I want to self-publish one if no one is
interested, which is probably what will happen.
I got to say my two favorite action-adventure American animated series from the last 3 or
so years would have to be the 2 shows that are most closely following my own

P a g e | 715

storytelling style, except still adjusted to fit their own distinctive styles: Those 2 shows
would have to be Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Generator Rex. Those 2 shows actually
have some compelling, dynamic visuals, unlike a lot of whats been released in the last
few years. I have The Clone Wars Season 1 Box Set on DVD now, and Ill be getting the
art book of the animated series for it in the mail in the next week or so right before my
birthday.
I still have yet to do my swordfighter-martial-arts animator-storyboard thumbnail
poses, where I just go buck wild and make a concerted, extended effort to make the
poses as graceful, eloquent, dynamic, and anatomically correct as possible, as
though I were a different person, like an animator or storyboard artist drawing
them.
Ive been going out less and less. Not to the bookstore, not to the art stores, not to the
food places, and not to the video-home-electronics stores. I stopped going out as much
after I sensed people were attempting to keep tabs on my whereabouts when I was out
and about shopping in public. Creeped me out a might smidge. So I stayed in. I dont like
stalkers. Or moles, no matter how good their intentions are, its still very, very creepy.
The outside world in this country is a generally very creepy place.
Drawing comics is a lot harder than it looks on the surface, unfortunately. I guess on an
unconscious level, I did sort of go in to comics expecting it to be easy when I considered
my draftsmanship level and the fact that I had made amateur level comics before. Boy
was I mistaken.
----

Reasons I was afraid of drawing panels and comic book pages (with panels) in
the past, even though I dont seem as afraid of them now (subconscious):

I cant write a journal Manifesto and draw a visual art / storytelling manifesto
at the same time

I was afraid the drawings would look bad, sketchy, unrefined and sloppy, and
wouldnt be good enough to self publish in books or through the websites of
comics I have.

I was afraid, deep down I would be unsatisfied, stressed, depressed, and

unhappy with the final result, big or small.

These problems can be solved by work, work and work. Not talking about it too much
before I do it. Diving in and starting (iron will, keep practicing-starting and the finishing
takes care of itself. Perseverance. Strenuous effort and overcoming uncertainty of reward
are necessary). Finishing comics pages gets easier, as long as I keep making the effort to
start on them. Feel free to copy the comic drawings and panels and page compositions
from more established comics.

P a g e | 716

-----BOOKMARK
A lot of people on some insider animation sites have made strong efforts to both label
and mislabel me this and that. Actually, if you ask me, all they know how to do is
mislabel things. Theyre not very good at naming things and people either. JRR Tolkien
they arent. I guess I never gave much thought to people and critics and other ass-umptive
types who like to label you and everything you do, in an attempt at some form of pseudowiz-dumb. Youve got to learn to ignore labels. They typically dont function on logic,
which is why you have to learn to tune them out and only focus on what you Want to
hear.
With 99% of Japanese manga-ka, if youre lucky enough to get your own popular manga
title, the vast majority of the time, if it does indeed get adapted into an anime thats
popular, 99% of the time, someone else is going to do the developing and adapting in
terms of the animation. Its not like in the United States where its common for comic
book creators to have a lot of influence in terms of the style the animation uses to adapt
the show from the comics. Jhonen Vasquez, Aaron McGruder, and Todd McFarlane
being good examples. Masashi Kishimoto was not involved in the Naruto anime. Akira
Toriyama was not involved in the Dragonball anime franchise, other than being the
original creator. Yasuhiro Nightow never did the Trigun anime. Tite Kubo was hands off
with Bleach. But there are exceptions. Hayao Miyazaki, Otomo Katsuhiro, and Osamu
Tezuka really know how to show everyone that follows how its done.
What is a sage anyway? Jesus Christ, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Martin Luther King, Confucius,
Mohammad, Mohandas Gandhi. I really dont actually want the world to know Im born
of hermitic sage blood.
Ive already survived one attempted assassination by an actual real life sociopathic killer
who had a lot of power, numerous online public internet floggings, and some very
influential conservative villains trying misbrand me as a pervert and deviant even when I
have no experience in that area, real or otherwise, fortunately. I think I can handle
whatever else, whatever other kinds of torture and humiliation my enemies, young or old,
want to throw at me. Keep it up. Make me a martyr. Go ahead and go there. Ill survive
and become the hermetic sage I was meant to.
----Surprisingly, the model sheets and series bibles for the Star Wars series, The Clone Wars
and The Force Unleashed I & II, look a lot like my Parallax series notebooks. If I didnt
know any better, Id say they were directly imitating the idiosyncrasies of my visual
storytelling style in Parallax. Even down to the way you draw the trenchcoat on Mono
(Standard Jedi, draw the body without the robe first, and then draw over the body with

P a g e | 717

the coat). The fact that George Lucas himself is drawing design influence from my
animated series indirectly for his own Star Wars animated series is something I find reassuring, and very much so, because now I know my way is right if its being imitated by
the best: That and I dont have to go it alone. The Clone Wars, Generator Rex, and the so
far unmade Parallax all draw from the same vision: My vision. My anime vision.
----Most Inspiring Artist Ive ever Encountered:
Todd McFarlane
Jhonen Vasquez
Steven Jay Blum
George Lucas
Yasuhiro Nightow
Otomo Katsuhiro
Dave Sim
Quentin Tarantino
John Woo
----There are a few things I am a genius at:

TV and Film Animation

Anime
Manga
Comics
Motion & Action
Fighting and Combat in Cinema
Literature
Animation Character & Production Design
Storytelling and Screenwriting
Narratology
Technology
Webcomics
Online Video
----Things That Motivated Me to Pursue Work in animation as a Kid

Fame
Power

P a g e | 718

Money
$50,000 up front payment
Royalty checks
Every woman wants you, Every guy wants to be you
Designing what goes on TV
Friendly work environment
Quiet work environment (dont tap the glass)
Working in a real life animation studio
Tim Burton, Saturday Mornings, Spielberg, Production I.G.
Later Factors

Notebook paper (Clone Wars notes)

Screenwriting (Jeffrey Scott, Yoshiyuki Tomino)
Script Format (Jeffrey Scott)
Auteur Lists (McFarlane, Vasquez, Otomo, Chung)
Shows that Changed Our Toon Landscape
Kill Bill in theatres
Co-productions (IGPX, WITCH, Oban Star-Racers)
Franime
Anime
Katsuhiro Otomo, Vasquez, Syd Mead, Senderov Jackson (Production Design)
Costume Design
DeviantART
Imitation as Flattery
Cartoon Network / Adult Swim / Cards and Bumps
Atlanta Georgia, Williams Street / Tokyo, Japan, Production I.G.
Toonami
-----There are a lot of knock-off images of my style circulating around all parts of TV and
DeviantART by now. But its not all bad. Some very big artists borrow elements of my
own style for their shows: Like George Lucas (The Clone Wars) and Man of Action
(Generator Rex, Alien Force). I happen to like those.
----Im a Twentieth-Century Digital Boy. Love that song.
But seriously, think about it: Computers, The Internet, TV, Cinema, Comics, Animation.
These are all Twentieth Century Contributions. They are just now coming of age in their
second century (the Twenty-First Century) of existence. These are thoroughly modern
cultural achievements, as humanitys been around for a lot longer than 100 years.

P a g e | 719

My book concept, Parallax, is turning into one huge response to such films and TV
shows as The Clone Wars (TV), The Force Unleashed (VG), Revenge of the Sith (film),
John Woo, Tarantino and Spielberg films, Samurai Jack, and everything else thats
influenced my art and storytelling over the over the years, like Akira, DBZ, Sam & Max,
Calvin and Hobbes, Blade of the Immortal, Trigun, Batman, Spawn, and Zim. There
really is no story when it comes to cinema and comics literature: Only storytelling. Im
also influenced by Moebius, The Matrix Trilogy, Syd Mead, Alan Lee, Lord of the Rings,
Elric of Melnibone, Frank Frazettas work, Joseph Campbell, Carl Jung, and Italian
Renaissance art.
My Design Styles be it for a universe, world, costume, character, or ambiance and
atmosphere, or genre, are no accident. And theyre not magic either. My design notes are
not genius. They are the result of many careful planning stages in my of what my design
drawings will look like on paper. I call those Design Notes, Design Plans, and
Design Planning. Since this is animation and comics, I plan everything I draw in
writing before I ever start drawing it, in extensive notes, some of them accompanied by
blueprint or bible sketches.
----Notan, Noir, and Gritty Shadows of Black (and White)
Todd McFarlane, Dave Sim, Mike Mignola, and Frank Miller are three artists who like
the color black as much as I do. They will often use a lot of blacks in their compositions.
Im in love with the color black. I like a lot of black and dark/light mixtures in my
compositions. Its part of my style, be it Notan and/or Neo-Noir, or cyberpunk. Black
allows me greater versatility to express the power and strength of my style, form
placement, and composition. There is an abstract quality to shadowy, dark, black and
white, inkish, macabre, Neo-Noir, and Notan (Japanese) ink and/or paint compositions.
Without black, you have no grittiness, and you cant possibly be gritty that way, if youre
only using white, a little black, and regular colors. Thats too normal and light to appeal
to me completely. In the beginning, and even to this day, people (all teenagers on
DeviantART, mostly female) would say all black sucks, Oh, youre that dark guy.
Your stuff is crap and you suck for being a simpleton for using so much black. Not cool.
Well, you know, fuck that. Im not designing compositions to please other people. I dont
draw and design that way to please the masses, the average consumer, or you. I do it
because I want to see more artwork like that, and for the most part, no one other than the
above mentioned artists and a handful of others do it consistently. The black composition
element, to me, is very alive with life. Its not Bleak at all to me. Some people find it
bleak and depressing, but thats really their own problem. You cant force me to not use
black, and conform my manga-style to traditional ways, which would be using blacks
sparingly, and in a limited sense. To me, you can never have enough black shadows and
Notan-Neo-Noir compositions. I like how the mixture of black and white can be traced
over to a mixture of oddly shaped geometric forms and shapes on canvas. Notan, in terms

P a g e | 720

of compositions, with the more complex it gets, the more geometric Its understructure
appears.
---As a serious-minded storyteller of outlines, thumbnails, storyboards, concept art, and
scripts, just starting off, I realize I have a long, humbling way to go and a long journey
ahead of me in this job of mine. I will learn many new things and hopefully meet many
new people at some point or points in my journey. Ive only just begun getting to the
meat of my actual plot, and Ive only just begun telling my actual story or literary
narrative, and Im still planning out how to do all the artwork. But Im certain its going
to mostly be a fun Journey to higher truth.
Too many young artists of my generation and younger forget, or sometimes it seems,
dont even realize to begin withthat traditionally, all forms of animation and comics, be
they comic books, animated series, manga, or anime shows and film have traditionally
been about telling a story or narrative power of some kind: Storytelling in other words.
All master comic book artists have a story to tell. None of the artists who I speak the
gospel of and follow, on any kind of serious level, isnt able to tell a story with pictures in
some way. Not everyone on the internet is able to do this. Some only do pretty
illustrations that are essentially plotless and compositionless, which is something I cant
really get into at all. I just wish there were more current artists who also knew how to be
storytellers, instead of just a whole bunch of kids and young artists who can draw
beautiful character designs and illustrations, but when it comes to panels, they choke. Ive
had that problem at times to, but not all the times, and Im slowly teaching myself how to
overcome it, the hindrance of anti-narrative art.
On the subject of writing, it took me a year, or 12 months, to get around to developing
my script story in outline format for Parallax. 1 month to set my resolve, and 11 months
to bring it into reality through hard work, self-discipline, will power, and manifestation.
22s are famous for having to face a LOT of oppositions from certain people in society
during their lives. If youre career is taking off, you or your career could attract great
controversy from certain people in society, especially when in your prime. With Bill
Gates it was the monopoly accusations. With Dave Sim, it was misogyny accusations
from fans, and even some of his fellow creators. With Quentin Tarantino it was the
shocking content of his films (sodomy, violence, dialogue, anti-heroes, the criminal
underworld), that really sent shockwaves through society and woke up the world. And
with Todd McFarlane, it was shocking comic book content and racism accusations from
some politically correct activism groups in the 90s. I dont know what my conflicted
area might be. Ive had some, but I dont know if people really care about me that much.
Well, there was the guy who tried to kill me, Bryan Johnston, who actually did kill
someone close to him later on as it was later revealed.
My webcounter: extremetracking.com

P a g e | 721

Ive always viewed sexuality as being on the same level as the digestive system. Those
who talk constantly about sex and sexuality are morally, spiritually, and ethically
ignorant. Its an impure, dirty thing that the masses indulge in, primarily due to moral
ignorance on the part of society. On a certain level, most people are ashamed of their
sexuality, particularly when it is on public display. This is only further proof of the moral
depravity of sexuality. I dont believe in sex with anyone. I think a person can fantasize,
but the actual act itself, in the third dimension is repulsive, ugly and ignorant.

Due to the fact that I am pure and innocent just about all the time, I hardly ever, if not
never, have any feelings of remorse or guilt on the part of myself. My dreams are mostly
like fantasy tales. I never dream of mistakes, because in my view I never make any. I
learn from every single thing I do. But yes, I have no guilt at all, I anyway whatsoever. I
didnt cheat, deceive, lie, and manipulate to get to the top. I got there through honesty
with all people, and hard work. My body might not be healthy, but my mind is white as
snow.
----If I werent busy suppressing the physical and spiritual urges within me to just go buck
wild, and do whatever I want all day for the last 8 years or so, my art training would be
on the level of one of the best kinds of artists. The anime and manga pros. If I can just get
my urges to go wild and rest under control, Id be 100 times more affective at creating
comic book page(s). Fighting, dialogue, costume design, storyboarding, conceptual
design, architecture, cityscapes, perspective, anatomy, fabric, props and objects, effects,
nature, lighting, light and shade, line weight, inking, composition arrangement,
thumbnails, panels, Notan, fractals, painting, hatching. You name it! Id have it mastered
if I didnt have my raw spiritual power to contend with. Ive got to find a way to
accomplish this in a shorter amount of time. Im getting older. I am no longer a teenager,
which is when most artists become professionals. Or at least, it was.
Everything I see has the potential to be turned into powerful art of some sort or another.
That would mean Ive seen more than 100,000s of moving or still candidate images that
can and could have been turned into great art.
----Im actually getting pretty good at this brand thing.
I am a brand.
My artwork, look, storytelling, and styleare a brand.
My products, though never sold so far, are a brand.

P a g e | 722

The things I buildare brands.

I dont know if Im considered the status quo yet or not for this generation, but if Im
not considered that, that may be a good thing. People sure do love to criticize me like Im
the status quo. But Im not generally acknowledged like Im a part of the status quo.
Ive always felt myself too young and new to be the real status quo. Technically, Ive
always been one of the biggest leaders in the rebellion against the status quo. I dont
consider myself mainstream at all, and I dont want to be either. Im progressive
counterculture, and indie alternative. I am not all the hype money can buy.
Things that started as part of the Counter Culture:

Jhonen Vasquez
Eminem
Image Comics
SLG
Spawn
Rolling Stone
The Internet
Google
Adult Swim
Toonami
Cartoon Network
Primus
Sin City
Alternative Rock
Beavis & Butt-Head
Anime
Manga
Akira
Ghost in the Shell
Lord of the Rings
Metal Music
YouTube
DeviantART
Web Anime
Webcomics/Webmanga
OEL Manga
Co-Productions
American Manga-Ka
Tokyopop
Funimation
Kevin Smith
Jazz

P a g e | 723

Hip-Hop
------

Most of the people on DeviantART hate me. But at the same time, everyone on YouTube
loves me. Ill never be able to explain that.
----I finished writing the first 4 Episode Introduction Outlines for Parallax. I know
where the story is headed in the first 4 episodes. Now Im going to need further
development of the details contained within those outline before I start writing the comic
book scripts and doing the thumbnails for them. But hey, at least Ive started the work.
A whole lot of Asian cinema, from anime to manga to Hong Kong film and samurai film,
is improvised. Theyre big on improvisation in Asian filmmaking and storytelling. Thats
the genius of it. Theres often not script for it outside of a few directors, animators,
writer, and actor notations. This applies to everyone from Akira Toriyama to Katsuhiro
Otomo to John Woo. I suppose their system is just that unbreakably stable. Improvisation
in film and comics is to Asian people what improvisation in music is to American
musicians, from hip hop to metal to Jazz.
As for me, I do very little improvisation. I do a LOT of pre-planning. Ive been trying to
work on doing less pre-planning and more storytelling, both visually and in narrative.
Just writing that plot description, or drawing that sequence of storyboards and
thumbnails. Just going with the flow and letting the plot happen.
Its a well known fact that I like drawing characters wearing capes and trenchcoats who
wield and sling guns and swords for weapons. The Star Wars animated series art book I
just got delivered to me today should make for some great reference. There are a lot of
sword poses in that book. Whoa! I am good with dynamic action sword poses. I draw like
the most dynamic swordfighting poses in the entire nation, or United States, now. The
only ones who even come close to drawing sword poses as good as me are Genndy
Tartakovksy and some people on George Lucas creative Star Wars animation and video
game crews and staff. Not to blow my own horn or anything, but my poses with swords
and dual wielding poses are becoming insanely good and dynamic. Eventually Ill
showcase them, somewhere. But until then I want to sit back, hit the sketchbooks every
so often with reference, and see what I can come up with.
Wow. I really am an artist with world class swordslinging illustration skills. Clone Wars
is a TV series, and Hiroaki Samura lives all the way over in Japan, so as far as American
sword comics, I guess its just me! Im the Todd McFarlane of sword poses! I am to
sword poses what McFarlane is to fabric, which is pretty incredible. In terms of drawing
swords, Ive searched far and wide in my local community and country for someone who

P a g e | 724

can match my skill in illustrating insane dynamic sword poses, and Ive come up
emptyAgain.
One way to see what your drawing looks like objectively, to spot problems with
proportions, is to turn the paper upside down and study the weight and proportions of
your drawing in upside down mode.
---In terms of drawing action-oriented sword poses, my poses have put me in a category all
my own. It almost feels like everyone else doesnt know how I got to the level Im at
now, and wants to play catch-up. Thats all right, but theyve got a while to go until they
break even, with the exceptions being my favorite artists who draw that sort of thing of
course. When youre one of the best, youre functioning on your very own level. Very
cool.
Currently, in terms of drawing swords, if its not a lightsaber or Frank Frazetta, Im
probably not interested in drawing it or being influenced by it. Ive narrowed my field of
influence, and Frank Frazetta illustrations and lightsaber imagery are where its at.
To draw swordslinging, Im also going to need to learn and study better anatomy. I need
to study legs, feet, arms, hands, head, pelvis, and torso. And the way hands and arms old
1 or 2 swords, be it light saber or samurai sword.
My literary, technological, and artistic level has soared high into the sky, way off into
space, to a place thats lightyears a head of my peers. Meanwhile due to how much of a
recluse and hermit Ive turned myself into, and how much I didnt keep my social life and
health in check, my health, social, and romantic life, or my actual living survival and
chances of making any friends or peers who respect meWell, there are no words that
can describe how developmentally stunted Ive become in the last ten years. My wish of
attaining genius and mastery has been attained and made real, a very miraculous act of
genius, but at what cost? The cost of my mental health; the cost of my social life; the cost
of my sexual nature; the cost of my emotional and psychological stability. Ive succeed in
my career ambition of being one of the best there is in terms of art and writing, but its
cost me my happiness, friendship, family, vitality, wealth, and health. Its so unfortunate
it had to end up this way, with me existing like this. I have attained superiority in my
career, but at the cost of estrangement and unwanted loneliness, from both friends and
almost all, if not all, of my family.
If your lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Visualizing the lighting and textures of the
dream specifically can help you fall asleep and dissolve reality into your dreams more
quickly.
Cary, my adoptive father, while he can be generous, he can also be very selfish, selfabsorbed, and have a philosophy of conservatism as a social Darwinist.

P a g e | 725

----I draw comics mostly because 70% of the time, day in and day out, the quality of TV
animation shows and internet websites, is not very good. I draw comics mostly to
entertain myself because for the most part no one else does. Frankly, the partys not
going to be any fun until I join that party. I increase its popularity and attract fun times.
------

Im not trying to be over militant or anything, but if the internet is truly free, there needs
to be some sort of democratization of monetization, meaning equality of power, not just
unequal, monopolized distribution of money and power where you give $40 billion to
yourself and your brand, and give the people who got you there, well, nothing, regardless
of whether youre Google, Microsoft, Viacom, or Time Warner. They dont evenly
distribute their profits. They never have. Maybe one day that will change.
Democratization of Monetization is what the smaller brands need. Not just the fat pigs in
Los Angeles, Georgia, and Japan getting fatter and fatter.
Due to the insanity and ineffectiveness of net neutrality, its forced people not be
compensated for their numerous contributions to the medium known as the web. Instead,
the money goes to whoever controls the HTML/banners, and if its sites like
DeviantART, YouTube, the ASMB, and other sites where users get to showcase their
hard work and creativity, due to the users being too gullible to know theyre being
conned by market savvy people, no one rebels against this. Every sucker thinks theyre
getting the privilege of association with big names when in fact theyre getting no
economic benefits and monetization privileges whatsoever, when if it was set up
differently, web stars would be making almost as much as television actors, if the system
worked, and clearly, it doesnt. Apparently Im the only one with enough business smarts
to see the hypocrisy and entrepreneurial unfairness of all this on corporate America fat
cats parts.
From now on, Im laying some ground rules. While yes, my visual flair always is inspired
by, influenced by, and attempting to match the East Asian animation and comics artists,
Im no longer comparing the level of my design and action skills to actual Asia-based
artists. I dont live in Asia, I live in America, and therefore I am competing in the United
States Market and the United States Market onlycompeting with artists who are actual
American citizens. You know, people I might actually meet. Not some guy with no
American connections overseas way over in Asia. Why try to tamper with that market
the Asian marketwhen its just so impractical and far away..Im really only concerned
with the kinds of things I myself can accomplish in America. Not in Japan.
Also, Ive noticed something about Western and World Manga. With the online debate
and discussion of western manga, there is tons of discussion going on online about the
genre itself, yet not a single ounce of discussion about specific western/global manga

P a g e | 726

series and titles. No ones even bothered to compile a list of western and world manga
titles yet. How can people discuss a genre with no prominent titles to discuss??
I think arrogance and bragging, if Im not more cautious around it, and indulge in it too
much, could very well be one of my main potential downfalls outside of insecurity. Ive
got to learn to not brag publicly and in private so much. I need to stop using these
commentaries and journals as an excuse to brag. A self-inflicted pat on the back every
once in a while is okay, but I think calling myself a God of design or super powerful
and influential is going a bit overboard. Just because I might be one of the best
swordslinger designers in the world doesnt mean I need to say so. Even if you are the
best, you must never say so or proclaim yourself to be such a thing. It wreaks of egotism
and arrogance. That was part of Disneys problem in the late 90s. The success of the
blockbuster movies they produced made them really, really arrogant and not able to
evaluate their art as it applies to the art world currently and not 70 years ago, when they
could still compete with the Europeans and Japanese. I think in terms of the humility to
ingenious talent ratio, Asian artistsand in particular, the Japaneseset the world
standard. If only all artists young and old could be that humble. DeviantART sets the bar
for arrogant and talented. The regular anime industry in Tokyo sets the bar for humble
and talented. Humility is an important spiritual value and ability to have as a cartoonist,
designer, storyboardist, producer, screenwriter, and animator. I think part of Americas
problem is due to our success of having become a world superpower, and setting the
world stage over decades past, its made us incredibly prideful and just plain arrogant,
particularly on an international scale of talent. Other countries are just as talented as us,
except theyre not bragging publicly about themselves and the pride of their country
every 2 minutes. I plan on learning from this. Ill admit, I did boast and brag a lot about
my abilities in my early journals, but that was just because those talents were new to me
at the time. When you first discover your talent, you do get tempted to brag about it to
others. I think one of the smartest things Ive ever done is what Im doing now: CHOOSE
not to brag. CHOOSE NOT TO go on and on about how smart I am, even if I am that
smart. Even if you are as smart as you say you are, even if you are the boy-genius you
say you are, it will always be a turn off to other people if you stand in awe of yourself too
much and act and go overboard with self-appraisal.
If I ever did a show on television, it would be the worst, most horrific show on
televisionever. Which is why I simply MUST do it. Same goes for webcomics and
regular comics. Worstbookever! I love doing the worst thing ever, all the time, ever!
What can I say? Its a guilty pleasure. I like horrible things. Got a problem with that???
Like Invader Zim or The Boondocks or Star Wars or Sam and MaxONLY WORSE!!!
YEHEAH!!!! Do I detect a hint of sarcasm here? Oh I dont know. Just a lil.
Wow. People must be really used to me being 100% sincere all of the time. What did
sincerity ever really get me though? A headache from people taking my words as biblical
truth? Something like that, yeah.

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I think I read in one of my recent astrology readings that I get good at things as I practice
and work on them over time. If I keep at something, over long amounts of time I will
gradually improve.
Hey! That is pretty cool! People take anything I write in here super seriously, because
they think Im not aware of their presence. That ROCKS! I love gullibility. I could write
a whole script about it if I wanted to. But alas, I guess I wont. I mean, people already
seem to take this journal and my private comp account for one big joke, nothing more
so I may as well give them what they want. Works for me.
Its November 17th, 2010. I turned 27 today! And Im reliving my childhood by looking
up some of my favorite childhood toys online. I remember spending a lot of time playing
with video games, video game strategy guides, construction toys (electronic, plastic, and
wooden), board and card games, while growing up, when I wasnt watching weekday and
Saturday morning childrens cartoons on TV.
Ive found a website online while searching for some kind strategy guide sales website or
archive, and I found something even better: Strategy Wiki, the Strategy Guide Wikipedia
for almost every game in existence.
Got 2 main presents for my birthday so far. Drawing Fusion Manga (book) and the Roku
Streaming Media Player.
I love Roku. Im quickly becoming one of that media players biggest endorsers,
supporters, and fans. Id recommend it to anyone who likes having a large variety of TV
shows and films of the eccentric and various other sorts of weird types. Like anime and
all that. Roku gives you a lot of anime to access, and you get to sort through and watch
all of it twice as fast. This is way better than watching Netflix in the living room through
an HDMI cable. Roku is far superior to that style of cinema viewing. Now I can watch
Netflix on my flat screen TV. Its great. Its not even that expensive either, around $60.
With Roku and its program of Hulu and Netflix, you can watch twice as many episodes
and movies in half the time. Now I dont have to plug the HDMI cord into my laptop and
carry my laptop from my room to the living room every time Im going to have an anime
viewing marathon. These differences might sound unimportant and inconsequential, but
in the long run, they make a huge difference. I just watched the first episode of the
Funimation Devil May Cry anime series in bed on a flatscreen.
-----Im beginning to wonder if it might be a good idea to introduce long standing old friends
in my life to people that havent been in my life as long. For instance, Id love to
introduce my friend Chris to my newer teacher friends, Clay Holliday, Phil Ferretti, Rima
Jabbur, and Donna Frank. Chris always goes on about life experience, I think meeting
people I know of but hes never encountered might be a good social experience for him,
IF he doesnt mind the 45 minute long car ride there and back on the expressway to see
them. Or what about Nicole, Johnnie, Amanda, and my internet friends.

P a g e | 728

People on TV and on the internet, who Ive never known in real life or ever met, seem to
get a sick kick out of mislabeling me a nerd, when all my old friends who went to my
middle school classes with me recall me being more of a jock and punk rock kind of
guy, and hanging out with fellow punks and slackers in school, aggravating all the
annoying teachers and whatnot who were short on patience. None of them thought I was
a nerd. And they knew me in person

Completed Series On Netflix, other sites, and my Laptop:

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
The Maxx
Wolfs Rain
Escaflowne
Black Blood Brothers
Trinity Blood
Series Im Watching on Streaming, but Havent Completed:
D-Gray Man
Devil May Cry
-----Im beginning to hate the fallacy of tribalism and regionalism. The concept of superior
geography. The concept that one place of living is a better place to live than another.
Sure there are some benefits of living in certain spots and some disadvantages to living in
others, but thats not always true about everybody and everything in that place. Whos to
say one place is more of this or that than any other place. Geographic superiority is
overrated, especially if youre not allowed to travel like I am. But that doesnt mean Im
not happen with where Im at.
-----I do make some income
I currently have 4 income sources:

I get paid by my parents ($15/week)

I get paid by my part time boss, Mrs. Hess ($80 whenever her family is away to
help out)

P a g e | 729

I get paid by the government ($125/month, social security)

I get paid by Google (Advertising Royalty Percentages)
Im actually making quite a bit. In total, Ive earned around $2,548 this year.
------

Good Endings Are Important in Cinema

Good Scene, Story, or Character Introductions are Just as Important in Cinema
Favorite Film First Impressions:
Ghost in the Shell (1995 film), Introduction of Film and Motoko Kusanagi
Gundam Wing Commercial, Narrated by Peter Cullen
Dragonball Z, Trunks Introduction
AKIRA, Nuclear Explosion Introduction Scene at the beginning of the film
Jurassic Park, Introduction of T-Rex Rain Scene
Seven Samurai, First Scene
Trinity Blood OP, Episode 1
Rurouni Kenshin Introduction Commercial on Toonami
Naruto First Introduction Commercial on Toonami
Naruto Shippuden: Introduction Scene of First Episode (Sasuke and Naruto)
The big key question is How to construct and executive a Great Introduction or a Great
Cinematic First Impression.
Another few secrets about Hollywood TV and film?
There are big budget studios (Fox, Dreamworks, Warner Brothers, Cartoon Network) and
small budget studios (Williams Street, Miramax, Lions Gate). Big budget projects and
small budget projects. A project can go from small to big, but it never goes the other way,
unless its someone becoming a has-been or never was: Clowns.
AND, a proven big name almost always guarantees a big paycheck and budget.
Acknowledgement of success is rewarded in Hollywood, and very much so, unless youre
an intern, in which case if youre not one of the higher ups, your presence means nothing
to them. That is why your name is onscreen for less than one tenth of a second in
microscopic size when the screen is split in two to promote newer shows.
Anime watching bookmark:

P a g e | 730

11-19-2010
Today? First day of probably starting to watch multiple Netflix titles a day
Bookmarked episode starting point on Queue? (Moribito, Episode 1)
-----Working and drawing at full power?? Huh?? No way! Im not even close to being at my
full power and realizing my full potential. Some seem to be impressed with the fact that
Im a power player already. Well dont be. You just look forward to me becoming my
strongest and most powerful no less than five years to a decade from now. YouTube,
Roku, Adsense, Netflix, WMV, WCN, Mono, Parallax, screenwriting, storyboarding,
costume and character design, production design, perspective, ripping and burning,
Notan, Fusion Comics, Acrylics, Charcoal, Google? These things are all very new, even
brand new in some cases. Just wait until I work them out and build muscles in those areas
and get a chance to flex my muscles! What Im doing now is only a taste of the giant
impact of what I WILL be doing. Just because the spotlight is on me doesnt mean I
wont get stronger and better and improve
Im in love with not being recognized. For people like me getting recognized is never a
pleasant positive thing. Its always some asshole dickhead loser that spots you out there
or whatever. Gee. What luck
My parents and brother attract WAY too much attention to themselves. For them, even
when theyre eating dinner, Mom forces the window and doors to not have their blinds
drawn, even though I know neighbors are trying to keep tabs on me. Its like she always
wants to put on a goddamned show or something. Always got to be in the spotlight and
the center of attention when your Peggy. Its annoying. Very annoying. She also makes a
lot of noise, but not really as much as Andrew and Cary when Andrew is around.
----Not to brag or anything, but some who know of me consider me a mix between a
Visionary-Filmmaker-Architect of Design, and a Mystical-Lightworking-Healer, of The
World. No one ever said talent was one dimensional all the time.
This new book I got, Drawing Cutting Edge Fusion: American Comics with a Manga
Influence, is going to help my art style really evolve into something very beautiful and
inspiring, assuming I apply enough of its teachings to my own method. Though I am
aware of many of the techniques in the books, its great to see certain elements of my
style attaining a newfound academic structure of some kind. Books on Noir Comics are
also good. Noir is by no means the only thing I do. My style is a hybrid style. But it is
one of the best things I do.

P a g e | 731

Those internet people must have sunk pretty low if they can even make my brother
Andrew cry out of how hurt and embarrassed he seemed to be. And Andrews not even
really related to me! Hes one of the toughest motherfuckers around, no joking. And here
he was crying about that. He NEVER cries. How DARE they do that to him. Normally
Ill complain about my brother, but I know when to feel sorry for him when hes really
hurt about something.

The Fundamentals of my style:

Body Type
Costume Design
Character Design
Prop Design
Action Poses
Line Quality
Layering / Detailing
Action Storytelling
Panel Design
Weapons Design
Writing
Effects
Silhouettes
Notan
Positive and Negative Space
Sketching
Architecture / Production Design
Story

For the current moment in time, while I may have ambitions to one day work in TV
animation or anime in some fashion and will always pray that someone might hire me to
work for them as a professional some day (my Ultimate Dream), for now, Im just your
average run-of-the-mill comic book artist. A Designer and Architect of Sequential Art.
Theres something I can handle. Been doing that very thingdrawing black-&-white
indie comic booksfor years now. Im not accustomed to being paid or compensated for
it or being able to monetize it in anyway. Im just not at that level yet. Im just too young
to be doing that sort of thing, and even when Im old enough in my own view, my skills
may not be good enough to cut it in the world of professional art. Many artists have it so
much easier than me when it comes to mastering

P a g e | 732

One of the great economic advantages of competing in entertainment as an what is known

as an independent producer of content or indie, one of the main advantages of my
production style and structure, economically speaking, is that with independent
producers, production costs are much lower than competing producers, and in some
casessuch as my very ownthe cost of production is nothing at all, because Im doing
both financing or funding and production of content by myself. I have no employees to
keep on the payroll at the end of the month, and therefore look after, unless you count
Chris and Lindsey, who are loyal friends, and Lindsey has always considered me one of
her teachers, but I dont think they really consider me a boss as of now. Not currently
anyway.
It is essentially impossible to compete on an even level with any brand name that
qualifies as big in mainstream media, so Ive pretty much stopped trying entirely.
DeviantART, ASMB, Los Angeles, AnimeTV, Hardcore anime sites, YouTube. Its
gotten impossible to compete with the army of employees and international professionals
who are competing on those sites, as they have more resources and materials to compete
with than I do, so Ive stopped trying. Small markets are big time win. From now on Im
looking for smaller markets, the Real Radios, Lulus, Hubs, local shops and bookstores,
and WCNs of the world. Institutions that are either funded by local corporations or
independent producers and entrepreneurs on the internet.
But one question I should as is, Am I too big to go back to being small? Or am I now
just Godzilla? I just cant compete with the big names. Economically, theyre more than
happy to kill me dead ten times over like the sharks they are.
Now that my birthday celebration is mostly overexcept for SundayIm really itching
to get back to the daily grind of working again, much as I dont like it, its still very
important.
---As I have said, I do aim to become the lead screenwriter, character designer,
production designer, storyboardist, and series consultant for my own show with my
own visionin time. But I plan to get their a pave a pathway there through comics and
sequential art. I want to pave the way for building an entirely new style of television
production supervision, if I get to have it my way. That just means Ive got to do 5,000 to
10,000 to 20,000 more drawings, sketches, models, designs, script pages, and illustrations
over time than I had normally planned. In other words, with the more roles I take on in
animation production, it just means Ill have to have to have more discipline and be busy
doing more work. The good part of all this is, since Im doing it as a comic first I get to
lay down much of the groundwork for the series in its inception phase, or the very
beginning.
Your average American artist does not make stuff up for the most part. He nearly always
draws what he sees. From now on, Im only drawing what I see, and adding various
assorted details, line qualities, and lighting onto it.

P a g e | 733

Two rules apply to what I am doing now:

Draw exactly what I see

Draw full compositions on my pages
----Adsense Sites:

Webcomicsnation.com/jm
Blogger
JMStrebler.com
Monocomics.com
By now I do probably know enough about the animation production, pre-production, and
post-production process, in term of being an independent producer, that I could probably
work in animation by now, even if it is just one experimental short animation films that
are a branching off of my comic book illustration visual narrative style. It would
definitely be cool getting to add things like voice over (perhaps), sound effects, and
musical soundtrack.
Im excited about this potential field, because this means I finally do get to try my hand
as a real filmmaker finally. I know all about Walt Disney, Osamu Tezuka, Katsuhiro
Otomo, Peter Chung, and Katsuhiro Otomos early attempts at animation, among a
handful of others. If you want to be a filmmaker, you dont have to wait for a greenlight
anymore like they do in the majors. You just buy some software and get to work with
things like storyboards and layouts, i.e. Production design, then do all sorts of props
and character and fabric field tests. You compartmentalize it into different divisions, just
like real animation studios do, and Id be willing to wager you will get much more
satisfying results.
Turns out I might end up being an animator after all. I know Im not much compared to
the Japanese, but that doesnt mean I shouldnt try. Hardly anyone is as good as the
Japanese when it comes to actual animators. But Im dying to try out some animation
layering techniques with limps and clothing that just cant entirely be done digitally.
Some of it has to be drawn traditionally and composited together digitally. Im going to
need to buy some books on how to animated, because Im kind of clueless about that sort
of thing. As an animator, Im at and am starting at Ground Zero. Nothing, and building
upward, slowly but certainly. I was trained by a former professional cable animation
animator who worked at Cartoon Network, MTV, Nickelodeon, and taught at the Disney
Institute. Hes my mentor, and Im going to need to try to recall his teachings of the
process, see if I didnt forget technical element of animation he taught me.
I think Im picturing my films having mute scenes. Scenes where theres music and
mood, and a lot of extreme motion and lighting, but no dialogue, no one talks.
To-Buy List

P a g e | 734

Visa Credit Card

Pencil Animator Software
Memory for computer with $100
Manga Studio EX
Anime Studio 7
Toon Boom Studio

P a g e | 735

Chapter 27

P a g e | 736

Monday, November 22, 2010

Key Terms list:
4

The Builder
Foundation
Stability
Patriarchy
Power
Progress
Earth
Justice
Ability
Manual Dexterity
Practical
Law
The Conscious Mind
Civilization
Traditional
Profit
Wisdom
Commerce
Health
Conviction

The Master Builder

Dreams Made Manifest
Ancient Wisdom
Realization
Force of Nature
The Future
Evolution
Technology
Universal Love
God
Retribution
Redemption
Love
War
Leader
The Universe
Personal Power
Charisma
Service

22

P a g e | 737

The Divine Imagination

Its kind of odd when I see people in the media trying to stereotype my act as nerd or
whatever else they want to label me. Ive said many times publicly that pretty much no
one I grew up with as a kid considered me a nerd. And I never used to wear glasses.
These media people still dont believe me about that, ironically enough. They seem to
assume Im lying about this or something, which of course Im not. For instance, my
brother could easily be classified as a jock, but not because he played a lot of sports. It
was more because he could kick YOUR ass ten times over and still can to this day.
Though he wasnt necessarily a bully either. He would just beat the shit out of kids who
crossed him and win every fight he got into. He never lost fights. That was the thing. His
fists were some of the fastest I have ever seen in real life, some of the only Ive seen in
real life. If he had thought I was a nerd growing up with me, Im sure he would have
harassed me about being a so-called nerd a lot more than he actually did, which was
never. He picked on me, but really just for being his younger less popular brother mostly.
But hed never get into squabbles with me because he thought I was a nerd. I never
thought like that. These people on TV and the internet are not even half as strong as him,
and they obviously think a lot less of me than he does. His approval matters more to me
than any of those famous peoples. I dont know the famous and media people. Ive never
met them. I know my brother. It seems like one huge misunderstanding to me in a way I
guess. At least on the part of the media. They dont know how to accurately assess me.
They never have. Theyre too easily influenced by what people who have never met me
think of me. Why give people like that as much influence on popular opinion as they
already have? What have they actually done to actually deserve such influence on public
opinion, other than being good pitchmen and salesmen? Ive never understood that. Now
that I think about it, my brother was always sort of a white gangsta growing up. Action
movies (mostly American), horror movies, gangsta rap, fighting, guns, curse words,
raised voices. He actually was really aggressive growing up. And he always listened to
what the media he did like told him and what his parents and friends his all black friends
told him before he would ever listen to anything I could tell him. His anger and often
violent and aggressive behavior growing up as a teenager always did confuse me. I never
really knew what to make of it in relation to myself. People sometimes didnt realize we
were never biologically related. We were both adopted. He never questioned his own
adoption on a more profound level. I always questioned mine, often because I didnt
understand him. But I dont necessarily mean that statement in a negative way. Its just,
living with him made me realize not everyone was as sensitive and brainy or cerebral as
me. We did spend a lot of time in our youth living in the same house though, having to
share a living space, and certain rooms. That was always torture. We were never all that
chummy growing up though. He would always try to be chummy with me at home, but
Id often reject him, and that would upset him. I never viewed us as any sort of a good
match, which is why I would always say no when he wanted to spend more time with me,
do brotherly bonding or whatever. I always remember hating the idea of that. With a
passion. And he never understood why I rejected his presence in my life half the time. At
times he seemed a bit resentful about it in some unconscious ways. I didnt resent him
really like he often did me. I just never understood him completely. His aggression scared
me, so for the most part I kept my distance. It was an odd relationship.

P a g e | 738

I wonder who Im going to grace with my presence tomorrow. Which TV network / TV

show will be graced by my presence and have the good fortune of having me as an
audience member. Hmm. I wonder. Yeah, Im amazing. I already know.
------I think Im actually seeing signs of myself having an identity crisis, at the age of 27. I just
dont know who I really am anymore. Everyone keeps telling me what I am and what I
should be, family, the media, friends, colleagues. Theyve taken away my internal
sense of who I really should be: In my own eyes?
Am I a weird/perv? Am I celibate and clean?
Am I hygienic and fit? And I a fat lazy slob?
Am I white? Or am I a minority?
Am I a genius? Am I an idiot?
Am a couch potato and TV addict? Or should I be protesting TV?
Am I a mystic guru? Am I a secular humanist?
Am I fat? Should I be skinny or in shape?
Who are my friends? My family or colleagues?
Am I a nerd? Am I cool?
Am I strong? Am I weak?
Do I even remember my past?
Was I meant to do animation or comics? Or both? Or Anime or manga? Or both
Am I sensitive or am I tough?
I used to have a very strong sense of who I was. But now Im seeing so many versions
of myself out there, imagined by other people mostly, its blurring my self of objectivity
and reality when it comes to defining my Self. Its harder to define my Self than ever
before.
Who am I!!!??? If only I knew the answer to this. Ive gotten so many false self images
lately. Its very confusing. Will I ever feel comfortable with myself ever again?
This time in my life is confusing and scary, even though it is my birthday, or it was a few
days back. How in heavens name will anyone else in this world understand me and the
way I act and think if I cant even understand myself?? Its terrifying.
Turns out Im probably getting a prepaid credit card sometime in the next few weeks.
I like the idea of building a stable foundation. A foundation isnt a foundation without
stability. I also like progress. Any genre thats progressive, Id probably like: Progressive
rock, progressive metal, progressive alternative, progressive comics, progressive hip-hop,
progressive entertainment. Thats whats innovative.
Manual dexterity: Hands doing skillful tasks is an amazing thing. Drawing swords.
Swordslinging, fencing, sword duels, and sword fighting. Typing. Marksmanship.

P a g e | 739

Punching. Martial Arts. Samurai. Western. Japanese animation. Drawing. Writing.

Painting. Designing.
Personal Power: Being a force of nature. Being strong. Withstanding pressure and
attacks.
The Divine Imagination: Parallax, Mono, New-Earth. Mysticism and fantasy. ScienceFantasy.
Technology: Video, DVD, TV-PC, Online streaming video, YouTube, anime online,
internet video, editing. Software
------Power thieves:
Journalists
Talk show hosts
Marketing departments
ASMB
DA
Otaku
-----Power moves in anime world:
Marathon viewings of anime episodes
Drawing and animating manga and anime
Designing characters and costumes
Buying DVD and DVD box sets
Watching anime
Getting jobs in anime
----Now that I think about it, why do I want to make the showbusiness or internet power
lists in the press anyway? What is the motivation behind that? I think its a response to
me not feeling in control of the people in my life for the most part. I think the reason I
used to want to make animation and anime power lists was because I thought that if
someone in the media documented or commemorated my power, which exists
regardless of whether it is documented by Time, Forbes, Wired, or Animation Magazine
or notno matter how the media reacts to me. It almost seems like I dont tend to believe
in my power unless the press and media verifies and acknowledges it consciously. Kind
of a silly way to approach life and my career. Look how powerful David Lucas is, and he
doesnt even make any power lists. Sean Akins too Dont deny his power. I guess if its

P a g e | 740

not publicized or associated with me personally, I have a tendency to assume Im being

denied power. But is my power really actually any less real just because some stuck up
kids online dont ever directly talk about it, and no one actually says my true name (JM
Strebler / Joseph Alberts)?
The biggest barrier to success in almost any endeavor is powerlessness, negativity,
helplessness, and inertia. They belong together. The problem is not only our own
powerlessness, but also the powerlessness of those around us
So the real problem is not being powerful, but instead being power-less.
I have my share of power-less areas:
The press
Marketing
Animation Production on a grand scale
The publishing industry outside of the internet
TV presence
Teaching myself how to draw sequential art and comic book pages (Fixed.
Conquered in 2012)
Message boards
Internet popularity
Pop culture popularity
Paychecks and salary
Online art galleries
Publicity
The licensing of my likeness
How many people take advantage of me and insult me
Im powerless in all of these areas. And Im only able to reduce powerlessness in one of
these areas by choice, and thats about it.
Ill be damned if Im going to let some little teen-aged art school dropout whores on the
internet steal my power from me just because they keep claiming he has no talent like I
do or whatever else kind of tactics they use to steal a designers power.
Everything is about power with society. Everyone is drawn to it, whether they want to
admit it or not. Its like money, except it is intangible and it cant always be quantified in
numbers or amounts or values. Everything Im into has an element of power to it,
whether its Star Wars or published manga or hyper-detailing; everything.
The media likes discouraging people from pursuing their goals. People who like to
discourage other people from living their dreams almost ALWAYS get frustrated by me,
because with me, they feel powerless because theyre efforts to discourage people like me
never work. Their whole act is discouragement, and if that fails them, they feel weak and
powerless, like theyre not alive. They get their power from making others fail and

P a g e | 741

become discouraged. Its not easy to discourage me or make me fail in the long run. No
ones really succeeded at it yet, but many have tried. And many have failed and their
bodies get tossed into the pile. Power tends to breed tyranny, abuse, and corruption in
those with weak wills, who lack wisdom, autonomy, and a general sense of
responsibility.
In terms of power usage, there arent just people who want my power who know I have
it. There are also those who feel vulnerable and insecure about some aspect of their own
personality, and compensate by wanting to steal my power. They seek to take power
away from me, and make me powerless by attempting to exploit whatever weak areas and
Achilles Heels of mine they can discover, dig out, spy on, or find, and exploit it to their
advantage, seeking to use that exploited weakness to attain an unfair advantage by
attempting to pass judgment on not only those areas of myself and my life I dont have as
much strength in, but my weak areas in general. Ive only just recently encountered these
types of opponents, the Bryan Johnstons and internet rats and moles of the world. I need
to be extremely careful around these types of individuals, because theyre some of the
most strategically cunning, merciless, and conniving of all my enemies.
Success = Power
The harder you work, the more power you have. Most people are powerless because they
choose not to work. All they want to do is take shortcuts on their work, which at best
gives the illusion of power and at worst destroys your life and social standing.
Hard work and labor is the only way to attain skill and power in comic books,
screenwriting, animating, and storyboarding. Work is the solution. Even when its not all
good work, the more pages you do, the more powerful you become. 1,000 pages of
completed work is 1,000 times more complete and powerful than only 1 completed page.
The power is in the numbers. Skill develops through discipline, will-power, hard work,
and consistency. And skill brings power. Skill is power. Disability is weakness, and by
disability, I mean not having and knowing a skill or skills. I have the power to copy other
drawings fairly accurately. I have the power of hyper-detailing and draftsmanship. I have
the power of positive and negative space, or black and white composition. I have the
power to draw in general, whenever I want to or choose to do so, the vast majority of the
time. This is my reserve, my fountain and foundation of skill, power, and God-given
talent. I have the power to draw when I want, but I dont always have the blessing of
always being bestowed with a vision of what to put on the page to become artwork. I
know what I want as a goal: The production of as much artwork as Im able to manage.
Artists all draw what they know or know about best. The same rule applies to the content
that a writer chooses. And the content of a filmmaker. What one likes, dislikes, is
obsessed with, and infatuated with will show up in the content of their creativity. In art,
its impossible to hide what youre really fascinated with or opposed to, as some
instances go.

P a g e | 742

Also, a great deal of artistic progress will be made in my work when I finally learn to
accept my own style, and not keep trying to live up to other artists standards of selfproclaimed perfection and self-proclaimed genius. As long as Im able to make myself
happy with what I draw and produce, and not my critics and other artists, Ill be able to
draw tons more drawings. My best drawings are the ones Im the happiest with. What
other people think, or whether they approve doesnt matter in reality, or historically for
that matter. My opinion is what really matters. Not someone elses. And that goes for all
my artwork as well, whether its on my computer or not. I realized Im biased against my
own artwork: Because it came from me, and I am me everyday. If someone else had
drawn the exact same thing at just as high of a level, Id be worshipping it, purely
because it came from the clean perfected more advanced objective: Other people and
high culture in other countries. And not the dirty subjective: My common hands, in
America.
Things I know/draw the best:
Swords
Fighting and conflict
Action
Warriors
Heroes
Science, technology and fantasy
Architecture / Architectonics
Sacred light from God
Mythology and Archetypes
Black attire, shadows, negative space
Neo-noir
Trenchcoats and fashion
Weapons and guns
Death
The majority of these concepts manifest more in the content of my art than they ever have
here, my word processor. What good will it do me if theyre never contextualized into
design and drawn and illustrated form?
I seem to have been blinded and biased by critics into undervaluing my own presence,
anywhere. If someone crosses my path, theyve lucked out. I dont cross that many paths
per month. Im important enough to at least economize and value my own presence, and
learn not to just end up spreading myself too thin. I need to use my social presence
sparingly, even with the TV shows I watch. That sort of thing really can and does make a
big difference. Just because some people close to me undervalue me and belittle me
doesnt mean the whole world or all of the media does.
It used to be that the only reason I wanted to get into showbusiness in some form in the
beginning was so I could live out my fantasy of attaining wealth and being rich. But with
the economy the way it is and everyone stealing and devaluing my brand and material,

P a g e | 743

Ive had to make due with continued poverty, which is exactly what I started off 10 years
ago to begin with anyway. It turns out even Im not exempt from failing to make a profit
in showbusiness. Making money in showbusiness is infinitely harder to do and more of a
crapshoot than actually working in showbusiness could ever be. I already do work in
showbusiness. I (self) publish books and comics, I have an audience and fans. Ive
corresponded with celebrities and working professionals. Ive even worked on a TV
show. But it never paid any money to do any of that. I was surprised a whole lot by how
much the fans just automatically thought I was never going to earn any money at my
craft, and how even more than that thought I didnt deserve to make any money at it,
either, because I said so, I said he doesnt deserve to. And to witness the industry
actually Listen to a bullshit conviction like that. Yeah. I got a whole lot of what I never
would have expected in a million years, and a whole lot of bankruptcy, rejection,
humiliation, and poverty. No one goes into showbusiness for shit like that. And if I would
have known showbusiness and the internet could bring me so much trouble, I probably
would have pursued a safer field a long, long time ago, if I had only known the horrors
that would await me on my path, which now is looking pretty inescapable.
The characters in traditional anime, even classic pre-WWII anime, hardly ever look
Asian. They always tend to seem American and Caucasian with some Eastern Elements,
and not surprisingly that sells very well to a new-paradigm-centric young American
Caucasian audience. A white audience enjoys watching white looking and white
sounding characters (or dubbing) for the most part, and anime does that very well. It fills
a void in the action, sci-fi, and fantasy genre(s).
Is the power to finish comic book pages available to learn? Or is it just something youre
born with? Ive always wondered: is the ability to finish comic book panels a gift from
the creative gods, or does it just take practice?
Drawing comic book pages requires talent, but it also requires a lot more skill than talent.
You wont get good at drawing comic book pages at attaining comic book powers if
you dont practice. It doesnt matter if you copy frame or camera shot compositions
from the TV set while you watch and pause various anime shows and movies on Netflix
or whatever.
The difference between sketching page/thumbnail compositions and sketching comics
panel compositions
Sketchbook page / Thumbnail: Illustration style. Elements of drawings, sketches, not
actual finished drawings. Anti-narrative. No story elements showing through.
Comics page panel: Claustrophobic feel if done the wrong way. Camera shots. Must tell
a story. Almost always based on thumbnails and gestures. Copied compositions from
anime videos. Copied compositions from comic book power other people finished and
made. Multiple characters in one panel/composition. Requires visual storytelling abilities,
the ability of a writer to think as an artist. Fictionalized, fantasy: not based on nature. One
panel at a time, unless ones working on all of the comic book page. One can work on: 1

P a g e | 744

panel composition at a time, or a sequence of panes at a time (thumbnails), OR a whole

pages worth of panels.
That new drawing and art instruction book I just read recently after I bought a copyThe
Zen of Seeing, despite the simplified nature of many of the authors illustrations and
paintings, actually taught me a lot of valuable things about how to approach drawing. It
taught me an entirely new method and technique of drawing: Drawing-Seeing. In other
words, instead of constantly looking away from your subject matter as you draw it, in an
attempt to keep proportions accurate, instead of doing that, just look, really look, until
you can See what you are looking at, or See-Draw through Seeing-Drawing. Look at the
thing you are drawing more than your drawing of that thing, even when you are in the
midst of making that drawing. Using that technique, you really capture the spirit and soul
of whatever it is you are copying from. After reading that book, I dont think Ill ever
sketch and draw things the same way again. That is one powerful technique. So far Ive
done 2 pages of panel layouts of random camera shots I copied from my DVR and Roku
video using the technique(s) I discovered in The Zen of Seeing. This method and
technique, Seeing-Drawing, works really well with gestures and life drawingYou
cannot draw well unless you see well: They are of dual importance. Drawing to me is like
breathing, or oxygen. I need it to survive. I dont just need to write. I need to do SeeingDrawing from TV and computer screens for my gesture drawings. Being able to Truly
see what you are Drawing helps you get a feel for the form of whatever it is you are
carving out onto paper, even the 2-D artwork images. Drawing, or Seeing-Drawing, isnt
really tense, stiff, and a pain when you do it this way. Cutting Edge Fusion is a good
book. Its just that The Zen of Seeing revolutionizes your whole technique and
methodology, whereas Cutting Edge Fusion is more about content and form in American
comics and animation.
What exactly does it mean to be a comic book artist, and to be self-taught in your field, as
the vast majority of comic book and manga artists are?
Much of what being a self-taught comic book artist means, in terms of work and
technique, basically translates into having to teach yourself discipline, a strong work
ethic, and how to solve your own problems and figure things out for yourself, on your
own. Comics in some ways, among being many other things besides that, is essentially
just another form of problem solving and figuring things out. Figuring out how to
produce quality, formatted work: How to construct and build a panel, and then construct
and build another panel, and another, until you have enough to fill up a page, then do the
whole thing over again, and filling in the details of each panel and its content as well as
art as you go along: in other words, youre filling the form as it has been said by some.
Drawing and drawing comics especiallyalong with panels and everything they get
filled up with visuallyis problem solving. And Im a problem-solver by nature. I like
solving problems. Animation production, or producing and writing animation, or writing
comic books, also encompasses problem solving.

P a g e | 745

The most challenging problem Ive had to figure out how to solve and conquer has
been how to draw successful panels and full comic book pages with multiple panels,
so that the pages arent just stick figures or gestures, but actually have fully
developed drawings on them that are both penciled and inked, and sometimes just
penciled, as Piro shows us. If I can figure out how to do this task and solve this incredibly
hard, intimidating, challenging, and sometimes fatiguing problem, it will open a lot of
doors for me later on in life and in my career. Its hard, but its possible. Confidence
brings about results. I need to approach this area with more confidence than I have
had in the past, instead of continuing to let it be an area of fear, intimidation,
procrastination, misunderstanding, instead of productivity, genius, and confidence. I can
be a genius of drawing panels, if I just let myself become that, eventually, over a long
period of time and daily exercises/practice.
Neighbors: Ha ha! Yelling and screaming at neighbors and random victims without just
provocation and emotionally abusing them with angry words all day/night long, every
day, is Komedy gold! Congratulations. Youre a bunch of fucking faggots. Those
neighbors have brought a new level of local disrespect into my life I have never
experienced before. What a low point in my life, listening to said people through my
bedroom window.
The best time for me to get work done is sometime between the early morning and midafternoon
Writing has been what art should be to me: Free impulsive play and exercising my skills
for the sake of exercising my skills, with results coming as a result of the impulsive doing
and practice
Art is going to be: Free impulsive play and exercising my skills for the sake of
exercising my skills, with results coming as a result of the impulsive doing and
practice
Im doubtful as to if Ill ever hear the whole story about my father, the one who brought
me into this world, the Holy Man Himself. Theres no guidebook for having a father who
was a Holy Man of some sort, a Trappist Christian Monk, in Ypsilanti, Ann Arbor
Michigan. There are no people like that in Florida. The only Monks that have ever been
in Florida, or Central Florida, were Buddhist monks.
What does this mean exactly. Well, it means I have a very powerful family gene in me. I
have The God Gene. My fathers God Gene has been passed on to me. Through him, I am
given the Power of God Him or It Self to fight evil and injustice in whatever form it may
manifest, with the Power of God-Given Creativity, and Holy Mysticism and Spiritualism.
I may never join the clergy, but Im pretty sure I could if I wanted to. Ive been tested
enough spiritually by life already as it is.

P a g e | 746

AND, on the subject of God. God is one of the best allies in my life of all, if not THE
best. I used to not even believe in God. Im starting to doubt that is the case anymore.
Dave Sim became a preacher or some religious authority figure after he finished Cerebus.
Not saying Im going to join the clergy. Im a free agent! So to speak. A free agent of
God. God can be your bodyguard against all things and people that are bad, and Gods
Holy Power can help you achieve even the most impossible and unlikely-to-happen of
goals, if you just have faith in God. Im hesitant to say or write Him because Im not so
sure God is a Him. To me, God is things like karma, power, right action, wisdom, and the
energy, both kinetic and supernatural, of the universe. God can protect you against all
sorts of bullies, regardless of how much strength and authority theyre may have and
wield against you. That goes for corrupt journalists, corrupt entertainers and business
people, misguided neighbors, corrupt politicians, cyberbullies, hackers, cyberstalkers, and
internet trolls, and all sorts of other heathens who may very well want to harm you or
watch your downfall. I have faith that I can draw a lot of comics and manga. Talent is
often reliant on faith, and faith is just another way of saying trust. Im not anti-science
and anti-technology just because Im into God more than I used to be. If you ask me,
science and technology will always hold a distinctively positive, important and useful
place in this world currently, in Gods world. Way moreso than terrorism, which perverts
religions message and corrupts and villainizes it. Thats for sure.
Im going to call upon Gods power to give me the strength to do the following:
Exercise
Eat Right
Lose Weight
Develop the confidence to work hard at drawing comic book panels every day
Stop procrastinating with my art
Develop Patience
Make Lots of Money
Ive had time to realize, God is bigger than me. Hes bigger than you too. Bigger than
everyone in history really. God is bigger than anyone one individual, or group of
individuals for that matter. God is bigger than society. God is a force that cannot entirely
be controlled by anyone or anything. God gives me the strength to maintain patience
while dealing with and living with this sibling, these parents, Florida, this country, these
neighbors, this time period. Everything really. God bestows me with the strength of
patience and humility to accept what I cant change, and change what I can. I cant
change Cary or Andrew if they dont want to change. God only changes you if you let
God.
God gives us peace and hope. And God has the power to also take away our fear, hatred,
negativity, and insecurity from us.
Starting today, I am out on a search. I am on a Quest to know God, to become one with
God.

P a g e | 747

God can be found everywhere. God knows all. God sees all. God lets you accept yourself,
and forgive and accept yourself for the various kinds of mistakes you do make. And we
all do make our share of mistakes. Im going to meditate.
Every piece of good and noble art with noble intent is indeed a miracle. Miracles happen
every day. Its our job to find them
But back to God. God holds the ultimate Holy Power. The power to add or subtract. The
power to create and destroy. Man is creative and God created Man in his own image, his
greatest act of creativity, and since Gods creative enough to create Man, of course hes
going to make Man creative like God.
I can analyze, theorize, and strategically plan until the cows come home. But unless I call
upon the power of God to make it happen, nothing can be certain.
How much power does God actually give me exactly? Im wondering. The answer?
Tons! God has given me the power to do three things: Stop evil. Heal the World. And
create miracle in the flesh through great works of art and storytelling.
God is the one guy more powerful than me. God giveth and God taketh away. That goes
for power, popularity, and influence, of course.
Im not worried at all about being lazy currently. I know God wants me to do my best,
give it my strongest, most sincere effort, and give 110% to every piece of artwork I do.
Im looking forward to making the effort to draw after tomorrow, when Thanksgiving is
over.
After a lot of planning, a lot of exhaustion, a lot of struggling, and a little help from
Gods good grace, Im well into the 3rd page of my 1-page-a-day work schedule and
routine. Ive finally got my system up and off of the ground, flying into pre and postproduction. On day one, I drew pages from Bakugan and Macross
----What exactly am I going to do, now that my power is at its maximum level, or so Ive
heard. Now that I have enough power, what am I going to do with all of it? Its like being
richsort of, but not completely. I can probably get a lot of work done with this much
power. That sounds about right.
-----

P a g e | 748

Subjects of research:
Myers Brigs Typology
Numerology
Horoscopes
Sword-Slinging Poses
Action Poses
Notan
Cityscapes
Science Fantasy
Epic Mythos Storytelling
Action Screenplays
Screenwriting
Comic Book Panel Storytelling
DVD Ripping
Roku Streaming Media Player
Webcomics
Power Area(s), Areas where I have an excess amount of Power:
Web Design
Banner Ads
Streaming Video
Streaming Anime
Google
Costume Design
Not so powerful Areas:
Broadcast TV
Marketing
PR
Finance and Economics
Artwork Online
Anime
Manga
World Manga
Webcomics
----If I actually do die young, thats not going to be the end of my projects. Actually, much
like Robert E. Howard and Tolkien, it would probably be the beginning if it reached the
right people or person who saw a vision to continue production

P a g e | 749

One-In-A-Million Specialty Niche Market

When it comes to domestic comics, only I know how to do what I do, my style, my
vision, and my trade secrets. Only I completely know all the secrets to making a
successful action comics page. Only I know the secrets that I do, because I never wrote
all of them down on a computer. Thatd be stupid. Instead Ive been storing much of my
more specialized trade secrets in my head, where only I have access to them.
I want to do my own traditionally drawn 2-D version of both Dragonball Z and Star
Wars: The Clone Wars, but with coats, samurai swords, and guns big and small.
Hardest questions to answer:

How do you get a job?

How do you make money?
How do you drive a car?
How do you create a comics page?

There really isnt one specific answer for any of these.

Unless I devote every last thing and piece of workaholism and personal power and energy
Ive got into physically manifesting Mono Jubei and his universe, every day, day after
day, for 10 or more years on end onto the page, it will sink into the realm of broken
dreams. And believe me, you dont want to have a broken dream on your hands JM!!!!
----There are certain types of people in animation and anime I like to refer to as the bridge
burner type, meaning they find a bridge to freedom, but are fueled by aggression and
selfishness, so once they cross the only bridge in existence, they promptly burn it as it
burns and falls to the ground, essentially making it impossible fore any followers or
competitors to follow that particular path, or take that particular route. The Bridge
Burner Narcissist Temperament is a fairly common practice in auteur based animation.
Some of the comments Im getting from people, online in certain places, are starting to
sound a bit, shall we say, depraved. People online are seriously depraved. Their minds are
full of depravity, if their comments are any indicator. The ASMB and DA have the most
amount of depravity, unfortunately. Some young people are quite depraved.
----I am as powerful as a cyborg or robot. For starters, I dont require much if any real sleep.
The only reason I can sleep now is because my initial lack of sleep and ceaseless 24+
hour manic energy levels frightened my parents so much they bribed shrinks to coerce me
into doping me up with a hardcore bunch of downers, thus making it impossible to
remain awake for 24 hours like I used to. If I werent taking medication, Id be like every

P a g e | 750

other creator. I WOULDNT sleep. The mania would keep me awake 24/7, which is
something I dont really mind but my parents and shrinks do.
Things I did when I was fully manic:
Drums
Middle school
Video game tournament
Art school
Talk radio interaction
Zounds
Alternative Music
Music Videos
Late Night Sessions
Elementary School Art Award
Indie Comics
Spawn
Things I did when my mania was not at full:
Beat Bryan
Signed on to DeviantART
YouTube
Inventing
ASMB
Internet communities
Modern anime
World Manga
Parallax
Mono Jubei
Costume Design
Webcomics
Myers Briggs
Scorpio
E-mail
Numerology
Trojan Horses
Social Engineering
Co-Productions
Blum
AnimeTV
Ive definitely compensated for my lack of extra physical energy somehow. Obviously I
must have to have accomplished this much.
------

P a g e | 751

It might be such a long time until I get to draw using the power of my mania ever again,
which means my creativity and drawing skills will suffer and atrophy for much of the
time Ill be posting crap on the internet. People will see how primitive my current art
looks and think that my non-manic state of drawing is all he has to offer. Good mania
is like being on a really good drug trip. Its addictive and stimulates your visual nervous
system, much like hallucinations.
I got a book recently, and I dont like it. I highly disliked the article Aleksey
Bashtavwhatever in her book so-called Principles of Typology scrutinized the INTP
without even bothering to really understand how the INTP thinks and functions. She
seems to think that because INTPs are specialists that that automatically means theyre
incompetent and ignorant about everything that isnt what they specialize in, and went
so far as to even criticize David Keirseys writings in Please Understand Me and other
books as beginner and inferior to her own views or so the implication seems to go, I
realized that girls got some nerve as an author to speak so poorly of such an advanced
temperament. Just because youre an INTP and not extraverted doesnt automatically
make you arrogant. Her arguments against he INTP are weak, poorly research,
unfounded, and generally distasteful. She seems very biased in favor of E or extraverted
temperaments, and seems to be able to dish out plenty of scrutiny against INTPs, but not
on the basis of any form of actual real scientific or theoretical logics. Her criticisms
would make a lot more sense IF they made sense. She also seems to ignore the fact that
INTPs like myself are also part INTJ and INTF.I want my money back. This book stinks.
Its a bunch of biased, likely pseudo feminist (she only refers to INTPs as hes)
crackpot theorizing. Id love to know where she got her education or what people she
actually observed to get such biased, unrealistic theories.
Lets face it. For the vast majority of that website, though I wasnt aware of it when I
signed on, the truth about DeviantART is its a much more social anime networking site
for kids and teenage girls than it could ever be a real professional art or Japanese manga
site. Thats definitely a driving force thats causing me to visit less and less as time goes
on. Mangafox is more authentic than DA is.
I think Ive had about all of my fill I can fucking take from the old daily grind. I can only
watch so much anime at once. 52 episodes of episode marathons, for the most part, is
more anime that Ive watched in 2 months time is more time spent watching anime
everyday than Ive ever spent watching TV in 2 months that equivalent amount of time in
my entire life. Ive watched more anime in one big chunk in the last 2 months than Ive
watched at any consecutive 2 month point in my entire life! Im watching more anime
now one episode after another than ever before. So why do I still feel like Im behind. I
feel like certain websites have slowed me down because I spent too much time trifling
with them, which was a waste of my time and everyone elses. I dont look back at that
time with any degree of happiness or affection. Honestly Im just glad its over and done
with. I tried it a few times, hated it, and thats really all there is to it. Im just not
compatible with such people. I watch a lot of anime too. But Im not following the
crowd, and I was late getting into manga, with rare exceptions like Akira and Blade of the
Immortal.

P a g e | 752

Fortunately for me, watching anime episodes on web based applications, much like
ripping DVDs, learning electronics, and screenwriting, is a highly technical and skillful
artform. Its just most people dont realize it yet. You have to have skill and/or
perseverance in order to do it a lot. So its not like Im not pursuing artforms in my spare
time. There are plenty of skill-and-work-ethic-based artforms out there.
Ive never actually watched Black Christmas. Not a very big fan of movies made by sick
individuals, Hard Candy and whatnot. But as a far as horror movies go, theyre definitely
one of the silliest, worthy of NC-17. Much like Hostel and torture stuff. It really sucks
being the guy or gal who is on the receiving end of that particular brand of poisonous
venom injection. Its supposed to be offensive I guess? Kind of comedic actually, Baking
people alive in an oven or torturing perverts in your suburban home like Vlad the Impaler
and whatnot. Vlad is still the most bad ass though. He didnt make a macabre movie. He
really did have cannibalistic tendencies, drinking your blood and whatnot. Nothing
Hollywood and glam about that at all. Vlad was the King of sick unforgivable behavior in
real life. And then there were those Third Reich guys. And the Al Qaeda guys. What a
joke. Nosferatu is still the ultimate evil guy. Much like Johan in Monster. A very classical
Darth Vader-like pitch black presence. Thats some terror-based horror movie pitch black
inhumane fecal matter were talking about. But as a sensitive INFP, how does one
sensitive spiritual type, or an innocent and pure child, make sense of downright black and
eerie things like that. Children should not be exposed to such depravity, in any way,
shape or form. Can you imagine a very special family friendly Dateline (bring the
kids)? I cant either. To me all this stuff is kind of the same thing. Evil and dark hearted.
Godless and proud of it.
Why is everyone in anime so fascinated with cats? My family owns three cats: a
white/gray cat Baby (female) and two twin younger light brown fur cats, Sam and Jake.
My cats are hyper-affectionate, and hyper sensitive just like me. They love sleeping and
eating cat-food. They tend to overeat. Its fun to watch TV with them though, watching
them nesting and fall asleep right around me, sometimes over my stomach when Im
laying down and resting. My gut is like a pillow to Baby and Sam.
----As a Master Architect, I find myself liking architecture a lot more than I like women, or
any females for that matter, other than my mother and pet cat. Those are the only two
females I actually like, because theyre not annoying, snippety, and needy, except my
mom sometimes, but Ill let that one slide.
I wonder what kind of people keep tabs on my word processor activity all day long. Who
is really that pathetic anyway. Only pathetic people know who I am. Its a known fact I
dont get along with my own audience.
-----

P a g e | 753

Sometimes I wish I could just say or think it and it would become manifest as so. But
thats a myth. Im not powerful enough to just create things out of nothing from my
powerful mind. No sorry. I cant and dont do that sort of thing. I think you have the
wrong guy. I cant just make peoples dreams come true and manifest in the third
dimension just be thinking or talking about them. Nothing I obsess over ever becomes
real. People really need to stop assuming I have that kind of power. Im insignificant and
a general scrawny weakling. Its impossible for me to sell anything. Especially anime,
YouTube, and manga.
My comic style is primarily made through reverse-engineering more well executed
comics. I like to copy from well drawn animation and comic books. I think every good
artist who enjoys copying imagery likes to reverse engineer other auteurs styles too. Just
really copying from what blows you away and inspires you. I refer to that sort of thing as
being a reverse-engineering designer. Copying provides inspiration. I have motivation.
But what I dont always have is inspiration. Inspiration comes from copying differing
images and turning them into your own vision and style.
Well, I do now get both Netflix and Hulu Plus through my Roku Streaming Media Player
now. I have at least a few hundred legal anime episodes to keep me busy. At least 5-600
episodes.
So apparently some people are scared of me. A lot. Apparently some people find my
mere presence overwhelming and intimidating. Even complete sociopaths. It makes some
people afraid to see me get what I want. If I had my way, regular cable would have been
killed off already and it would only be digital and internet based services streaming on
TV, commercial free. That alone calls for the elimination of something in and of itself:
regular cable. Apparently some people in regular cable, the Disney Channels and
Viacoms of the world are afraid of change. Therefore theyre scared shitless of this
dangerous and destructive attitude of mine, and go to great lengths to turn things
against me so I fall out of favor, even to the point of trying to assassinate my character
and whatnot. Im not worried though. Their time is limited here as long as theyre stuck
in the past. I dont mind being the bad guy in the public eye. That famous person The
Mirror sees to it that I DO look like a bad guy in the mirror and on TV.
As a matter of fact, I would be surprised if between 2010 and 2020, Id go into some kind
of media hibernation phase, becoming even more of a reclusive hermit, saving up money
to travel and spend on food and books / DVD Box sets, staying away from most of the
web, and doing nothing but ripping DVDs, while sleeping all night long and watching
Roku all day long, assuming the weather permits it and the power stays on. I have no
desire to venture out into Casselberry in any way, shape or form anymore. Im fed up
with all that shit. This is the last anyone will ever hear from me again, writing done here
notwithstanding. Im so fed up with the abuse my parents and the media bestow upon
me, Im planning on secluding myself in the most extreme, isolated manner possible.
Fuck therapy. Therapists are assholes. And besides, I can accumulate more spiritual
power completely isolating myself from everyday life, than I ever could obsessing over
trying to draw everyday. It has more impact if I save my art drawing power for special

P a g e | 754

occasions. People already know who I am, and theyve made that abundantly clear. I
dont need to prove that fact with a comic book. Thats silly. Only silly insecure people
do things like that. I need to isolate myself as much as possible. Interaction with my
family, and drawing once every few weeks is plenty. Its enough for me. Roku does the
rest.
----Yup. Roku is set up in its entirety for the most part. On my Roku box, I have access to
Netflix, Hulu Plus, and Amazon Video-on-Demand. Ive found at least 60 of my favorite
shows on there, nearly all of them being anime or anime influenced for the most part. Its
a lot easier than spending 3 to 5 hours a day ripping DVDs from my collection onto my
laptop and watching them through my living room TV with an HDMI video cable.
Things seem to be getting a little easier for me. Thisis the cable killer. Its the future of
both video and TV, because it doesnt necessarily involve abandoning either one. But it
does give the viewer dozens, if not hundreds of more choices anytime they watch TV,
24/7. I think its only a matter of time before YouTube creates a TV screen user interface,
just as Netflix, Hulu,a nd Amazon.com have.
----The Florida or Germany Thing
(The Floridian Sociopath: A Profile)
While Florida can be a nice place to live, living in the wrong part of Florida on a bad day
can be terrifying. Why is this?, one might ask? Because, There is a higher
concentration of sociopathic behavior and a higher concentration of sociopathic people in
Florida than there is in other places. The loony birds seem to have free reign here. Some
are even in positions of authority, but not usually. If youre interested in studying
sociopathological behavior, particularly in the urban areas, Florida is a playground from
Hell. It wasnt always that way. And I dont know how it got this way. But by now if the
local news is any indicator, it very much is this way. The Mirror is hard at work. And so
are the racists, rednecks, and bullies. They tend to have the most dominating and
overbearing kinds of personalities.
You cant escape, you know.
Soundtrack, Half-Life 2
-----

P a g e | 755

Im a new school designer. Im a reverse-engineer style designer. Just like an

intermediate or advanced computer programmer, except my specialty is comics and
animation, TV, and cinema. If I like how something is designed and structured, I:

Take it apart and dissect its components

Study its inner and outer workings with logical analysis and theorizing
Reconstruct and Rebuild it into something more my own style.

I have a Go-To List of Reverse Engineering Reference Sources:

The Matrix
John Woo and Hard Boiled
Tim Burtons sketchbooks
Trigun-Maximum
Yasuhiro Nightow
Todd McFarlane Spawn and music videos
Hiroaki Samura
Syd Mead and Blade Runner
Akira
Notan
Jhonen Vasquez comics
Invader Zims design and architecture
Min Woo Hyungs Priest
Anime cells and black and white frames
Frank Millers Sin City
Glen Murakamis Batman
George Lucas Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Manga timing and pacing in general
Dave Sim and Gerhards Cerebus
Moebius
Genndy Tartakovskys Samurai Jack / Star Wars

----Ive had time to contemplate and realize something about myself and the people I have to
deal with on a daily basis, both in private or in the media.
My True Enemy is not even human. Its a thing, and its not necessarily Just Evil. Its not
just Bryan, Viacom, NBC and MSNBC, or local news or journalists, or the radical right
wing or the Bush Administration or online trolls, haters or cyberbullies, or the FBI or
Bellamy, or even Florida or my worst neighbors and neighborhood bullies. Its what all
of them share and represent, as far as their character goes. My enemy is the Selfish
Sociopath. Sociopaths can often be very successful and respected in their own minds
especially, by social standards. But they all have one thing in common: They hate to lose
and love to win, and they dont care who they have to destroy or humiliate or make a fool

P a g e | 756

of or punish to achieve this result and victory. To them, cruelty and inhumane
cheating and manipulation and basic deceit deception and lying are but a mere means to
an end. But they are evil. And very much so. Its best to just stay 100 feet away from
them at all times, if at all possible, because if they target you, youre in for a lot of fear,
being made into a fool, and suffering.
Im considering writing a screenplay for a horror film about bullies, about some Southern
based local, neighborhood, and school cyberbullies and in person bullies who display
negative tendencies from the very start, terrorizing a chosen unpopular victim, but
quickly escalate the situation and turn into stealthy serial killers who terrorize the nation
by manipulating the media to their will as they go on a killing spree unbeknownst to their
families.
-----Technically, I do get a monthly $450 disability check. I earn money from being unable to
workbecause some doctors classify me as schizophrenic, manic depressive, and
possessing Aspergersfrom the state-funded social services disability program, which is
similar to what pays my birth mothers bills, even to this day. I know my parents
encourage it and even the state has used that term for me, but callingor more accurately
and truthfully, going around labelingyourself disabled is clearly risky and a double
edged sword. How will I ever get work in comics or animation, and of course anime and
manga, if the whole fanbase associates a guy like me with disability, with things like
slowness, retardation, and other stereotypes about disabilities? Its like walking into a
trap. A trap that turns you into a charity case as some refer to it, or worse yet, a
hopeless case as your father calls it. At the same time, if the state deems you officially
disabled even if you are respected by tons of powerful, influential, and famous people
as I am in reality, it can evoke financial advantage. I do get a paycheck each month for
my perceived secret disability label after all. Its a very discouraging, very confusing
situation. Medical labels can be some of the most damaging things of all. Some bullies
target kids with things like that if they find out. That part is never easy to deal with. The
mental health stigma.
-----I now have over 100 different highly entertaining animated and anime shows to watch,
choose from, and in some instances purchase individuals episodes or entire seasons of
through Netflix, Hulu+, and Amazon Video-on-Demand through Roku. This isnt
counting the tons of ripped anime episodes, and box set DVD collections I own, which I
already had before I got Roku. If I count my DVD and ripped video collection, not
counting stuff like Toonzaki and Crunchy Roll, even without those sites, I have at least
200+ different shows to watch entire seasons of digitally. Digital streaming video on TV,
or even just on a computer screen, is the way to go, with much thanks going to Google
TV, YouTube, Hulu, and Roku.

P a g e | 757

I dont really consider myself much of an authority figure or status-based

individualYet.
If I ever get my own traditional project, and a paying career. Then Ill have authority.
With some peoplenot me thoughthe obsession with me as an individual, and my
personality and temperament, never really does end. Creepy, right? Surely those people
must get tired of putting the spotlight on me eventually. Or is this what fame and power is
actually like? I keep wondering, how can peoples fascination be THAT endless? How
can people be THAT obsessed? Is that even possible. Why am I so fascinating. Im
boring as fuck. Im not even interesting. I just dont get it.
Theres just about a million different anime and 90s alternative rock type radio stations
available to listen to through the Radio something-or-other channel on my Roku box. Its
great. Roku has got international radio, Japanese animation and film covered. But what
about Hong Kong martial arts cinema. I kind of need some of that too.
There are some things that are definitely impossible. Me becoming popular in pop culture
or the internet for one thing, particularly with anime or adult swim. Thats pretty
impossible. Me ever fully getting along with my parents and brother: Thats impossible.
Me ever believing the false negative hype about myself. Thats impossible. Viacom or
Bryan ever really winning in the end, or even temporarily most of the time: Definitely
impossible! Me ever buying into The Mirrors Wakkky hijinks: Very, very impossible.
Me ever completely giving up my skills and crafts and gifts and talents and not trying:
Very impossible. There are many things that are impossible. I realize that now.
Even without a work schedule, a job, or even a goal for the time being, Ive still managed
to get a lot of work done. In the last 5 days alone (November 25thDecember 1st), Ive
somehow manage to still carve out some work in my schedule of doing nothing, or
loafing around the house, and somehow Ive managed to produce 70+ pages of output in
5 days, including Journal writings, sketchbook pages, animation reel frames, art notes,
and comic book inked page designs. And on top of that I watched around 10 or so Rokubased animation episodes in the last 2 days or so. Thats pretty productive for doing
nothing in general for the most part or at least thats what it was to me when I finished
all that work.
Im an excellent starter. Not so much a finisher. But definitely a starter.

P a g e | 758

P a g e | 759

Chapter 28

P a g e | 760

Thursday, December 02, 2010 (2 minutes after midnight)

Honestly? The thing I want, more than anything else in the world, as far as entertainment
goals go, is to be an executive producer of an contemporary and American animated TV
series, either primetime or otherwise. Timeslot doesnt matter to me. I can handle any
timeslot on TV as long as they let me do what I do best: Lead and Invent. Im 95%
certain that once I got a sense of my role and memorized my share of responsibilities, and
got situated, Id really get a chance to show the world what Im made of. Ive wanted to
be a TV animation executive producer since as young as when I was 13 years of age. I
havent given up the dream, but Ive also endured many frustrations, with many of them
coming from dealing with fans of TV anime and shows online. Some of them are such
huge jerks, and are so negative, it doesnt agree with my sense of what animation should
be: Positive, not negative or belittling. That was back in the days of Doug, Angry
Beavers, Batman, and Ren and Stimpy. The 90s. When producers were in charge. The
Boss, so to speak. Phil always refered to Mike Judge as my boss, Mike Judge.
Ive lost a total of 10 lbs. so far in the last few months. Pretty amazingly good and
incredible of me.
As a producer, my main job is to please buyers. And the vast majority of my money goes
onto the page, and invariably, the screen as well. Nearly everything I buy with my money
ends up going towards research expenses anyway.
If I never sell one of my books, comics, art books, or patents, something tells me Ill
never earn much money for much of anything, period. It kind of already is that way. I
have products, and yet no one is the least bit interested in buying anything from me, or
even asking about any of my products.
Ive seen one hero of mine after another, and one colleague of mine after another lose not
only focus, but their way in general.
Right now the future is looking sort of hopeless for most of us, and I have to devise a new
strategy to deal with this. The financial divide between the internet, television, and
Hollywood does nothing but grow and get bigger with each passing day, and it is sad.
The majority of workers on the internet are just like me. Theyre not making jack shit
from those websites either, yet they seem more than willing to give out their work for
free, much to the detriment of their wallets. Arent they smart enough to wake up and
realize those websites are using them?? Are they really so stupid as to actually be blind to
the shameless exploitation of nave workers elements of those websites?? I despise
their stupidity in not being able to deduce when others are using them, stealing their
power, and sucking away their life energy. Even when you win you still lose big time.
Ive had just about all I can stand of such atmospheres. Wanting to get paid for your
contributions is a normal human thought online, and one should not be penalized for
thinking in such a way: Monetarily. I have trouble believing writing copyright warnings
or warning people with phrases like dont steal really makes much of a difference. No

P a g e | 761

higher authority has stepped in to police the shameless exploitation elements of these
websites. Makes me very angry no ones doing anything about it legally. People just sit
back and let it happen time and again.
Im beginning to develop an even newer curiosity about power than I already had earlier.
I keep wondering to myself, How do I figure out how to become more powerful than I am
currently? Am I powerful enough? Those artists, filmmakers, and storytellers I admire.
What makes the industry and many other people consider them to be as powerful as they
are? Are those very people as powerful as I would expect them to be on and off the job?
Or would their personal abilities and powers not meet my expectations? And most
importantly, how can I achieve attaining some of the kind of power theyve acquired over
the years? I want to be powerful like them when Im their age or older. Not naming
names, but.
I should probably start by figuring out, what powers DO I have?
And what powers am I certain I have so far?
Time to figure it out:

I have will-power
I have spiritual and psychic powers
I have design power
I have the power to edit a comic book page
I have the power to rough sketch a comic book page
I have the power of originality
I have the power to work hard at almost any task if I set my mind to it
I have the power to write a book if I really try
I have the power to publish a book privately (not corporately)
I have the power to draw model sheets and storyboards
I have the power to figure out how to learn how to do what I do not know of yet
I have the power to write a few pages of script every few months, or more
I have the power to impress and win over other powerful people sometimes
I have the power to endure great hardship and a difficult life / opposition from
outside
I have more power to start project than I do to finish them
I have the power to stop procrastinating
I have the power to lose a little bit of weight
I have the power to create a PR media web presence
I have the power to write randomly for 8-10 hours a day
----

Overall, Ive been making some progress as a comics artist and character designer. Ive
managed to complete work on both comics pages and character design. Around 5 or so
pages worth. Ive been talking about something as simple as just getting started in this

P a g e | 762

area for at least 2 or more years. Now Ive finally gotten started as a character designer
and comics artist. About time I stopped talking and started doing.
I never could have guessed that out of all my friends, Id grow up to be the fat one who
had to wear glasses ended up being incredibly unhealthy and out of shape, with no sense
of freedom or independence from his parental figures. And yet here I am. Laziness and
sloth seem to have gotten the best of me in the last decade. It disgusts me. This is why
watching too many cartoons all day is bad for you. Cartoons are a negative and generally
bad health influence. Not to mention a bad social influence.
For starters, cartoons in the daytime teach us carelessness, lack of compassion,
sloppiness, lack of manners, bad behavior, poor hygiene, disrespect, and unhealthy ways
to solve our problems. Honestly, Id rather just watch Seinfeld than any cartoon airing
during the same timeslot. Theyre unhealthy too, but at least theyre adults about it. I can
appreciate adult things nowadays more than I used to, like action movies, sex, Adult
Swim, and Seinfeld, along with YouTube. I can appreciate these things as an adult.
Animes sort of become mostly for girls and teens, particularly a lot of new titles. That
always creeps me out.
Most Powerful People in Modern Animation:
Katsuhiro Otomo
John Lasseter
John K.
Jhonen Vasquez
Steven Jay Blum
Dave Willis
Peter Jackson
Peter Chung
Eric P. Sherman
Gen Fukunaga
Todd McFarlane
Eric Radomski
George Lucas
Bruce Timm
Craig McCracken
Genndy Tartakovsky
Tim Burton
Mamoru Oshii
Kenji Kamiyama
Roy E. Disney
Steven Spielberg
Jeffrey Katzenberg
Thomas Romain
Sean Akins

P a g e | 763

Good contemporary entertainment always has a sense of impact and explosiveness to it,
kind of like one big bomb going off and just bursting out of nowhere. Good entertainment
is direct and full of energy like that.
If I stop being so fickle about what kind of images I copy from, I could make a lot of
progress, a lot faster. If I pursue all art, conceptual design, and development content in
my sketchbooks the way I have with Mono and in particular his costume, Ill become a
much more well rounded artist. I dont want Monos costume and fabric to be the only
things Im good at. I want to become better at many more things than what I currently
know. And if I make the effort I can get there to being not just a specialist, but a good
paper-based filmmaker in generaltruly astounding.
Design Theories
The Visual Language of Design
As a writer, artist, aside from a couple other systems I work with on paper, on screen and
in my head, two of the main systems of communication I use are language systems.

Theres the abstract and left brained language of literature.

And then there is the visual language of design and designing icons.

For instance, if I write the word hand or torso, how I represent it with the language of
words and literature is completely different than how I represent that form and concept
with lines, visual structure, visual data, and art (or design). One is right brained (art), and
one is left brained (words)
My visual language skills dont even come close to competing with or keeping in step
with my left brain language skills, and I am to change that. I want to, and certain plan on,
becoming a proficient artist, more than just a primitive caveman in that area. I need to
improve my ability to think in terms of a visual language, using not only the right side of
my brain, but also my visual language and visual intelligence. Drawing all the time, and
drawing with versatility not only improves your visual language cognition skills. It
helps you master them. So you think in visual icon terms, not so much linguistic and
analytical yet abstract ones.
----Boulder, Colorado and Ann Arbor, Michigan just got ranked as the two brainiest cities
in the United States. That is pretty interesting, considering I was born and adopted at the
University of Michigan Hospital in Ann Arbor.
----Ive been watching what both George Lucas and Genndy Tartakovsky have been doing in
the last decade or so on TV, very closely. You might even be able to call it monitoring. In
terms of American comics and animation, and action cartoon-storyboards or panels,

P a g e | 764

theres a certain intensity all our work shares. I dont know how aware they are of me, if
at all. But Im very aware of them. They are my action allies. I hold a strong admiration
of the way they tell dramatic-action stories. The timing, the pacing, the lighting, and the
general cinematic composition.
There are a few main areas of improvement that have manifested in my work as of late:

Character and Costume Design

Notan Compositions
Thumbnails
Cityscapes and Skylines
Fighting poses
Visual Language Aesthetics and Logic
Sequential Art (4-Panel Comics Page Sketches)

In terms of the three main ingredients and subject matter and material ingredients of
comics storytelling, I pretty much have the basics down for all three of the 3 main
elements, components, and ingredients: Architecture and Layout, Action and Dialogue,
People and Props. I have everything I need to go beyond just getting started. Very nice.
Ive already done all of the starting I need to. I didnt think Id reach this advanced level
so soon. Far as Im concerned Ive done in about half a year what I had initially planned
to get to reaching and transcending more than 2 to 5 years after that. Im a quick learner I
guess. Awesome!!!
So for now, as far as getting started on finishing the most primitive starting point of the
basics of my system: Its Mission Accomplished! Finally!
I am a warrior by nature. Its in my cultural ethnic heritage. Look it up. Much of my
heritage, culturally speaking goes back to ancient times and is linked with the ancient
Mongolian Chinese, home of Genghis Kahn. Historically speaking, Im linked to one of
the most warring cultures of all, Mongolia, China. The truth is, my nature is part warrior.
I like drawing warriors, I like studying and reading about warriors, and I like writing
about warriors (and war). Conflict, violence, heroes, warlords, action, motion, stealth,
strategy, planning, etc. I have the same black hair and brown pupils most Mongolians
have of course, but my eyes dont look Asian. Slant eyed or whatever politically
incorrect thing its called. I dont have that.
YouTube now has one of the largest viewing audiences in the entire world. And the site
has been see in terms of numbers, 2 billion times a day, which equals an audience 1/3rd
the size of the worlds population.
----Science is power over matter. Science-Fiction is fantastical, magical, imaginary,
hypothetical, and theoretical power over matter that doesnt exist in actual reality, but
exists within the context of a fictitious narrative.

P a g e | 765

The Japanese and Chinese filmmakers of the 20th and early 21st Centuries wrote the bible
on how to make good film, animation, and comics. Now its modern Western American
art, comics, and animation designers job to follow that lead. The responsibility to
produce and carry on the tradition of Perfectionist Cinematic Narrative falls on such
genres as American Action Film, Indie Comic Book, Primetime-Adult Animation,
Fusion Kung-Fu Comics, Web Manga, World Manga, and Webcomics to carry on
such a filmmaking tradition, both on paper and on screen, in terms of pacing, timing,
rhythm, detail, design, and storytelling. Its our job to add new twists and turns, and
pick up on archetypes and dynamic storytelling systems Asian filmmakers left behind.
Filmmakers like Quentin Tarantino, Spielberg, Jhonen Vasquez, Aaron McGruder,
Catherine Winder, Sean Akins, Felipe Smith, Jared Hodges, Todd McFarlane, and
George Lucas are doing more than their fair share of the work in the filmmaking
department of Hollywood and the West. I want to be like them when I grow up.
When ratings are high, and your bank account increases, JUST because a lot of people
consider you entertaining, and youre in the right place at the right time, in terms of
financial work and reward, it almost feels like theyre paying you to sit around and do
nothing, other than live up to your title of artist or webmaster or writer or producer or
whatever. Entertainment money is like getting paid to sit in bed and do nothing at all. Its
a miracle like that. The only productivity you get paid for other than what youre already
finished with is the productivity of the people buying your stuff, how much they buy,
how big your audience base is. Because those are the things that earn money. Not always
just the creativity.
Live Action Favorites
Star Wars II Trilogies
Blade Runner
Hard Boiled
The Matrix Trilogy
Kill Bill
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Dance of the Drunken Mantis
Pulp Fiction
Fight Club
Metropolis
Meshes of the Afternoon
----While I do have the ability to maintain a certain amount of secrecy and confidentiality in
the trade secrets, contact information, connection, power and influence, and general
personal and industry information I possess, about me or anyone else who is known to
associate with or against me, for reasons either knowingly, or unknowingly, either
intentional or unintentional. Despite what a well kept secret I am, there are quite a few
enemies and rivals of mine who will stop at nothing to gather incriminating evidence

P a g e | 766

against me and my allies, family, and friends, and use it maliciously to try to trick the
authorities into incriminating me, or worse yet, apprehending me on false charges. Brian
was the first incident of this. The FBI is very aware of me and what I do. Though theyre
too cautious to call themselves an actual ally, I have no proof that theyre actively
conspiring against or with me in any way. But I do know if someone is going to go out of
their way to target me like with the Brian and Panda ASMB obscenity deceit
incidents where real people are actively trying to break the law to incriminate me with
false evidence, frame me so to speak, rest assure the FBI is all over them. Everything I
read them write, much to my disgust, the FBI also reads as a second agent, records, and
observes, much to their secret disgust as well. The FBI observes, reports, catalogues, and
records not just everything I do and say online, but also everything the deceivers attempt
to manipulate people into thinking about me. This goes for any and every site Ive visited
online. If there is suspicious and deceptive or malicious and illegal hacking and
espionage going on online against me, little do these people know the FBI is recording
their every online move and backtracking it. Brian Johnson is the perfect example of that
unawareness. He was unaware the FBI was aware of his activities and he was
apprehended in a fashion that wasnt intentionally brought to my knowledge either. Same
with Bellamy. Both got arrested by the police and FBI basically for being sociopaths
and with Brianpartially just for messing with me on a personal level. So as a fair
warning, people in the media, including Panda and Viacom need to think twice before
they consider what methods they use to gather intel on their competition, because the Im
quite certain the authorities are at least very aware of that too. Not just the fact that
Viacom wants to steal 1 billion from Google and me.
What does this mean exactly, you ask?
It means I have a perception that transcends just myself. Its a perception, an all seeing
seer. In other words. Whatever Im made aware of, both all my enemies and all my allies
are simultaneously made aware of, my enemies by illegally gaining hacktive access to my
system, and my allies by either using the same process or stealing that knowledge my
enemies leak to the public from hacking websites, which I never visit, but maybe my
allies and the FBI should consider keeping tabs on for me, if theyre able. All you have to
do is lie, go in disguise, and they never become suspicious youre not working for me. If
my teams enemies can move as a unit, so can we.
I think I should really focus my energy into approaching my drawings in terms of
thinking as a narrator. Instead of just doing one still image for the sake of it, I should
think in terms of how I can relate one image into the sequence of a larger sequence of
images. That is why they call it sequential art.
----If it works out with me and Chris. Next year, in 2011, Ill be going on a road trip with
one of my best and oldest friends in the North Eastern United States, in a house his
family owns up there. It would be pretty cool getting to go on a road trip and vacation for
a week or two, roughing it near the mountains and forested areas. He wanted to convince

P a g e | 767

me this vacation would be a good idea and a nice escape from daily life in Casselberry,
Florida. I couldnt help but eventually agree. Its going to be awesome. I might take my
laptop with me and I might not. Ill definitely take some drawing material and cameras
maybe. Overall it sounds like a nice quiet little retreat. Plus Ill finally get to get away
from this place, and get the hell out of Florida to escape for a little bit. That would be
awesome.
Im now 27 years old. That means Im no longer in my mid-20s, but instead, Im in my
late-20s. Very nice.
List of Comics Publishers:
Marvel
DC
Dark Horse
Image
Tokyopop
----I dont need to get more talented. I need to get smarter in my marketing and sales
strategy. Im good enough, Ive got enough talent to win already. What I really need is a
literary agent. And when I finally get some real comics work done, I have a huge list of
agencies Ill be submitting to that accept comics submission in some form or another.
Ive found at least 20-30 agencies that accept graphic novel submissions. And some of
them work with mainstream publishers.
----Writing The Great American Graphic Novel
(A Revivalist Ambition)
I want to write the Great American (Graphic) Novel when Im in my later adulthood, or
even in my early adulthood, or by my mid 30s. Anyway, the time doesnt matter. What
matters is that I get started on this Great American Graphic Novel, and get comfortable in
a routine of consistency, where I can produce a lot of work over a long period of time.
Im at the bottom wrung of authors, whether its nonfiction, fiction, or graphic novels.
My work is always the worst, and weakest compared to high literature, so much so that
many people dont even consider what I do literature A crime against the humanities
your book and comics are so horrible. But when put in the context of the web, they feel
to me like some of the best. Does this mean everything online is crap and everything in
traditional print is good? The books I have published are so weak, theyd never appeal to
the casual reader. I have a lot of re-reading, revising, re-visions, and editing to go until
they bust out of the dreaded First Draft Crime Against The Humanities Zone and enter

P a g e | 768

any kind of state of being that is actually accessible. But hey, at least I made it to the first
draft.
Im not just afraid, and angry about my own brand of poor follow through. Im terrified
of it. Ill come out and say it right now. Im terrified of poor follow through. No shame in
admitting that. Poor follow through, and procrastination, if left unchecked, could kill me,
it could cost me my life, my health, my well being, my acceptance, my popularity, my
career, and all my profits in the long run. If I dont follow through, Im never going to
reach the next level, that new plateau you reach when you work hard at art. The same
plateau Phil Ferretti always used to talk to me about in private. Poor follow through
doesnt result in damage happening right away, so you dont feel the effects of it right
away. But its very real. Procrastination and Poor Follow Through are more damaging to
me than any of my peers could be. To counteract Procrastination and Poor Follow
Through in all my daily activities, succeeding at this task will require Diligence,
Tenacity, Endurance, Perseverance, Will-Power, Self-Discipline, Concentration, and
Inner Strength.
Following through isnt whats normal for most people to do in society. Its Not
Following Through thats normal and typical, not actually following through and
succeeding. Most people dont follow through on their self-assignments, objectives,
goals, plans, and resolutions. More people dont follow through than do, primarily
because most people think if were enthusiastic about something or want to follow
through on it, we automatically will. Thats one of the many lies we tell ourselves with
much self-guilt, as a modern day society. Just because we want to do something badly
enough usually never means we actually will, just because we plan on it or want to do it,
or want it to happen. Even will power wont automatically make what we want ourselves
to get done be what we actually do. Will power doesnt connect intentions with action. It
doesnt work that way. Wanting something and even having the plan and intention in our
head to do something doesnt just make it happen.
I still remember being slighted as a youth. I still remember that little skinny twig assed
white American piece-of-shit scum pig that called me a faggot during school, back
when I was in middle school. I never forget when an American pig calls me faggot. Its
the American and Floridian Redneck Southerner scums favorite word to use for anyone
whos different. Or to put it simply, not white.
I was fantasizing about killing myself.again. I havent done that in a while. Needless to
say it did not feel very good. I tied a chord around my neck and squeezed. Felt pretty
good. Better than it would feel living in this neighborhood anyway, with these people.
Theyre evil. Life cannot be sustained in a social climate like this. Its insane to think it
can. Sometimes I wish I weighed less. So I could hang myself. Other times I just feel
angry. And other times I dont feel much of anything at all. I think I heard a neighbor
laughing. All the better reason to kill myself, so I dont have to listen to their horrible
American voices anymore. That would end it all. It would be wonderful. Death will come
for me sooner or later. Hopefully Ill kill myself somehow pretty soon. I should be so
lucky.

P a g e | 769

My computer died on me. And I basically cant produce any footage or content on it until
Dad takes it into the shop to get more memory. Until then I cant do anything. And even
waiting a small amount of time to be productive and contribute work to the world is
literally frustrating me, stressing me out, and driving me insane. I have to contribute to
society by building things on my own on a computer. If I dont it literally forces me to
lose my mind and go insane out of idleness. I cant just sit around being idle. That kind of
slacking makes me lose my sanity. Im not joking. Not being able to build business
enterprises on my computer is in my nature so much by now, just not being able to do it,
because of low memory, turns me into an insane raging maniac. I guess Im not as useless
as everybody thought I was. Just when my moment of glory arrives easily and everything
is going fine, Im stripped of my power to build once again.
----Apparently, Im an entrepreneur running his own online business now. A WebTV
channel that has real shows. The channel plays daily videos every day or evening, for the
most part. For now its kind of like PBS, its a small channel thats independently owned:
By me, the Network President running the channel. So I guess technically Im the
Executive Producer of every broadcast on my channel. Nothing on my channel happens
without my permission.
Drawing comics is too hard to do, too scary and competitive. For now, Im sticking to
what I do and probably also know best and am the biggest expert at: Digital Video. But I
am a bit cautious. Im well aware of where overconfidence and private bragging can get
me. That unfortunate fate is what happened to my artwork after all. Ive found, the more I
brag about a skill of mine, whether its good or bad, the more weirdo-psycho strongerpersonality sociopaths will come after me, and attempt to dominate my own presence no
matter what I do online. Thats just the way it is. Thats how it is in society. Best to be
prepared I guess. My art and the effigy my in person media presencethough such a
thing only really exists in the minds of collective groups of mobs on TVmost obviously
have attracted the most amount of negative energy from other peoples auras over time,
so I have no choice but to ignore those things and focus on other things. Things
thatarent those things.
My relationships with DeviantART and YouTube is kind of like a double edged sword.
The two sites have a frenemy rivalry/peer relationship. Its a popular kind of
relationship to have in the media: Hating the people you actually need and loving the
ones you dont. But I digress. At YouTube Im one of the most popular
people/filmmakers there. At DA, Im one of the least popular people/artists there. They
openly hate me just for trying. Its like DeviantART wont accept my popularity
merely because YouTube does. I dont get it. What a venomous rivalry. Its very
hazardous. I feel like a double agent or something. I keep separate identities and nom de
plums at both sites, never using my full or legal names, purely to see what kind of
response I get from my own efforts and accord, not from any crossover popularity from
things like Adult Swim. Its very Yin-Yang, the relationship-rivalry between YouTube

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and DA is. YouTube has more masculine muscle and profitability and general popularity:
The Mainstream. DA appeals to high class elitist, often arrogant art snobs with highly
fickle and selective tastes: The Underground Rebellion. YouTube is Google, Anime,
and America. DA is female, manga, and Japan. Or something like that. The Adult Swim
website is somewhere in the middle ground. YouTube emphasizes masculine aggression
and technology. DeviantART emphasizes feminine passive-aggressive sensitivity and art
or raw creativity, with a large suffocation of persistent sexuality, which is an element I
simply despise about it in particular. Theyre quite perverted and amoral, some of the
people hiding on there. DA is Sasuke and Aizen. YouTube is Naruto and Cowboy Bebop.
YouTube emphasize with the brave international hero. DeviantART empathizes with the
intelligent subversive villain, but also the herosometimes.
But seriously, if Im being blatantly honest, comparing YouTube to DA is a bit like, well,
comparing Adult Swim to every other animation network on the air. They all have their
moments, but Adult Swim wins in the masculine strength Money and Popularity
department anytime, and generally, that is where I prefer to be. But it is a delicate line
you walk when you are dealing with both sides. There are brilliant geniuses and raving
sociopaths on both sides of the playing field. But people can get passionate about it,
much like the way one can get passionate about their favorite sports teams. All have
different players, pawns, strategies, and pros and cons.
But maybe Im not approaching this debate realistically. I suppose I should acknowledge
that rivalry is a part of big business like camaraderie, as well as enemies and allies. But I
feel like I really do see what is going on here in the media, on some level. I might be a
leader, and popular, but I can never be acknowledged as a leader by those websites, or
officially popular for that matter. I am what I am. A straight man. A middle of the road
man.
Im big on accessibility, pragmatism, and automation. That might be why I not only like
digital video so much, but also the graphical user interface and algorithmic automation
that goes with it.
Im considering going into the freelance webmaster business, using my own TV channel
as a portfolio piece, setting up other peoples video files and TV channels for them, and
charging a moderate fee for my services. I wonder how I could make a business model
out of this: Charging for freelance technological promotional services. I think
corporations might be interested in this sort of thing.
Even though they dont pay me anything, Im pretty sure both Google and the animation
studio Williams Street could very well be my real life guardian angels. Those companies
both serve and protect me from media predators.
Other guardian angels who protect me from emotional predators and character assassins:
Barack Obama, Steve Blum, Sean Akins, Cartoon Network, anime, manga, Tokyopop,
YouTube, Dave Sim, Peter Cullen, John Lasseter, George Lucas, Aaron McGruder,
Katsuhiro Otomo, Yasuhiro Nightow, Genndy Tartakovsky, Steven Spielberg, Quentin

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Tarantino, Todd McFarlane, Eric P. Sherman, and his studio Bang Zoom Entertainment.
These guys have my back when the chips are down. Some of them may not actually
know how much theyre protecting me and acting as a Mystical Guardian Force for me
because I have faith in the power of their good intentions, but theyre presence does a lot
to protect me from emotional vampires and emotional-predators.
Even though I never intended for it to become this way, my laptops presence and absence
has a direct effect on not only my mental health, but also my physical health. Ever since
my computer was malfunctioning due to loss of computer memory and functionality, I
was the most depressed and angry Ive ever been. It also affected my behavior. I took all
of my anger out on my parents, because my current father was taking all of his anger out
on me, and not acknowledging said fact, by yelling and screaming at me, calling me
asshole. It was not a happy or peaceful scene in my house. It was an emotional warzone
last night, which caused me great unrest and I couldnt sleep, even with all kinds of
sedatives. The insomnia from last night left me emotionally weak the next day, today.
Ive been feeling weak, faint, emotionally fragile, all because my laptop is dying. Owning
a laptop to me is just like owning a car. Actually its better. The more my computer dies,
the more I die on the inside. I have nothing else to live for but my laptop, other than
maybe DVDs and Roku.
Gender and Art
Sexuality and attraction and mating aside, outside of that, Im not going to lie, I did not
have a gender neutral or gender equal view of the art world until the time I did one of two
things: A) Took a class with Rima Jabbur, one of my favorite former fine arts community
college instructors, and B) Attended the Art Institute. Before that, I didnt realize how
gender neutral art has become in pop culture, what with the female-friendly world of
design, fine art, anime, and manga. It use to be all chauvinism and comic book shops with
me. Guy friends and guy things. Actually it sort of still is that way, but slowly, ever since
AiFL, Jhonen Vasquez, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network,
Naruto, and DeviantART, my outlook has changed as of today, now that Ive had some
time to reflect on my experiences. Its not just that there are more female artists and
designers male and female alike now. Its that my outlook has changed. Ive become less
biased against young girls pursuing art. Its no longer just a mans world in my world,
even if Im a bachelor the rest of my life, it will now and forever be a man and womans
world. Not all female artists are hypersensitive frilly frew frew sociopathic emotionally
unstable bitches compensating for their inferiority to men. I think the art world is starting
to evolve beyond that view. What convinced me? The fact that Ive learned its not just
about sex, mating, reproduction and romance with girls. Not with the good ones. For
instance, take for example male artists such as Paul Pope, Jhonen Vasquez, Tim Burton,
and Masashi Kishimoto. Women and girls in particular fawn and awe at their art just as
much as some women do over the artists themselves. They dont just inspire groupies.
They inspire something in women and girls thats much more important than mere sexual
attraction. And that is the desire to pick up a pencil, paintbrush, wacom tablet, or pen, and
pursue art and design of original animation characters of their own, in and of itself. The
fact that a male artist can inspire not just infatuation in women anymore, but actual

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substantial creative brain activity, both professional and amateur alike in the opposite
gender, is a step towards gender equality in the American art world that hadnt previously
existed before, other than in wonderful art schools in South Florida, of course. Now, I
respect the talents of female character designers and costume designers just as much as I
respect men, even if I have more trouble remembering female artists names. That is a
huge improvement to our little industry in and of itself.
There are two or three individualsall female of coursewho awakened this shift of
perspective and general paradigm shift in me. Lindsey Vest, my new friend and partner in
art crime at the moment, my mother, and Nicole Cook, my former partner in love crime
who I havent ever seen again, but still remember. These three girls and women
humanized women for me. Contemplating my relationship with the three of them really
made me see the light, and find my empathic nature for women, not just masculine men
and guys guys, both of whom I still like. But speaking to the Goddess in my head, my
inner Gaia spirit of earth, humanized the female spirit for me, even when its a young
spirit. ESPECIALLY when its a young spirit like the female artists Ive seen at the Art
Institute of Fort Lauderdale and online. Yang goes pretty psychotic and deranged,
sometimes even depraved if it doesnt have the necessarily yin to balance it out. Not
necessarily just love, but that does sometimes play a part of course. I respect girls and
women again. I think my brother and fathers occasional male chauvinism and typical
male misogyny played the part of a negative influence in my life. Through that corrupt
male leadership after being cut off from more laid back guys like my friend Chris Hess,
listening to idiots like Cary and Andrew corrupted even my mind when it comes to
women. Even one of the voices in my head is a motherly female voice now. Its the
Empathy Gender Goddess in my soul from past lives, speaking directly to me. You dont
necessarily have to be weak and effeminate to empathize with women. Only dickheaded
male bigots like my brother Andrew think that way. Its perfectly okay to have a
motherly nurturing goddess or female internal voice if youre a guy. I was probably a
Chinese woman in one of my past lives, so of course Im going to empathize with women
in this life. Fuck you if you scrutinize that, you male chauvinist dick!
----Yukito Kishiro, author of Ashen Victor: Motorball Diaries and the more famous Battle
Angel Alita is quickly becoming one of my favorite male comic book artists on the
international scene. In the book Ashen Victor in particular, his work is literally
cyberpunk action meets Frank Millers inking style. Hes known for highly regarding
Frank Miller and even emulating him and copying from him, just like I have, lending
further credence to the fact that film noir, neo-noir, and my style of cover illustration in
and of itself qualifies as manga in the eyes of quite a few Japanese too. Its surely a better
choice and higher of an authentic Asian quality than Avatar: The Last Airbender and
Teen Titans could ever be, which are both incredibly white. Not really Asian at all,
minor role Asian staff member pawns aside. Ill say that much. Those shows are just
white people trying to be Japanese, or ripping off the culture. Im more authentic than
Bruce Timm and the Avatar creators are, by blood actually. They dont have the blood
ties. Its clearly the Achilles Heel of their credibility. And a major one at that. Far as the

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anime community is concerned, those guys are Vikings: Pillagers of Asia. I no longer
have to even worry about something like that anymore. My understanding is very much
primarily through my DNA genetic blood. That, and intuition.
I believe in having depth, in being multi-dimensional. By now, I know I know I dont just
want to do, be, say, act like, live in, use, or master, work at, or practice one of anything. I
dont want to fit in with just one culture, gender, age group, race or ethnic group,
genre, sub-culture, medium, success story, person, group of people, state, county,
nation, coast, hemisphere, job, temperament, system, method, technique, career,
social class, clique, political party, business, brand, hobby, or religion. I dont want to
be everything to everyone, and I dont care for being a jack of all trades, master of
nothing. I just like the idea of succeeding with all sorts of options. The more options and
choices I have, the better.
Social stratification applies to anime and world and Asian culture too. And anime.
Also: Money doesnt always give you power. Power doesnt always give you money.
The social stratification reform of the art and media and entertainment world, because of
the power of the internet to overcome the misogyny and geographic displacement of the
art and media world and made it possible for both women and Asians to participate in
things like comics and animation, or anime and manga like they never would have been
able to before. The internet in many ways transcends the power and social monopoly of
social stratification in the arts. I dont think its really the same for engineering,
technology and science, thats still mostly older white men. But the art and media
entertainment worlds are definitely changing. Change is happening.
The internets powerfully low barrier to entry entrepreneurial, media, publishing
business and structure, the freedom of its ability to let anyone participate, has greatly
increased diversity in the mediums its affected, such as film, television, animation,
comics, and broadcasting. Low barrier to entry in a powerful medium (the web 2.0) has
made the industries and businesses its affected more diverse in terms of both gender and
culture. Women and Asians actually have influence on comics and animation now, thanks
in part to the very same (mostly young) pioneering women, Asian, European, and Asianbased artists on the internet. Its lessened industry discrimination against young people,
Asians, girls, and women. Artists like Lindsey Cibos, Becky Cloonan, and Svetlana
Chamakova are living proof of that theyre the first of their kind as in their gender
equality is neither fake, or artificial or masterminded by the mainstream media. They
really are girls and women who are that successful working behind the page and camera!
Amazing!. Still, I wish their names were easier to remember. Having an easy to
remember easily pronounced name helps.
-----

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Introducing: The Newest Addition to the Parallax Cast:

The Rival Samurai Incarnate:
Musashi Katana
Hes an anti-hero. A Rogue Ronin, who sides with neither good nor bad, but is one of
Monos main equals and rivals. Hes the only other character whos as good at the dual
wielding Samurai Blade technique. His spirit descended from a rival clan, and hes been
in just as many battles as Mono has, if not a lot more. His spiritual and physical strength
and power rivals Monos, and hes never entirely defeated by Mono. All their duels end
in a draw. Both Musashi and Mono are Modern Day Future Fantasy Masters of the Dual
Wield Technique. Mono is simple and direct. Musashi is contemplative and headstrong.
The two of them make for powerful rivals. If Mono wears white, Musashi Wears Black.
If Mono wears black, Musashi Wears White. Musashis magical blade can at times even
repel metal, like a backwards magnet. Musashi, while still a likeable character in the
Parallax universe, has nonetheless attain a case file and wrap sheet a mile long. His
crimes and violations are numerous. At one point he accidentally murders a child on an
assassination mission and his parents, but spares the childs 4 year old sensitive innocent
brother. The one surviving family member never forgets this heinous act of cold blooded
murder Mushashi commits, and grows up hardened by trauma and seeks cold-blooded
vengeance against Musashi, even to the point of becoming a soldier-agent becoming an
ace recruit of Shadow OP 7, befriending members like Noah and Mono while following
his own path and mission to one day kill Musashi, Monos rival, who Mono is impartial
to, but still dislikes very much in one sense, but doesnt hate as passionately as the boy.
Script for comics pages:
Musashi and Mono get into a fight, with fists, kung-fu, and weapons. It happens in an
everyday room.
----Eureka! I know what to do. The reason I dont draw much, and procrastinate, and dont
follow through with my drawing process of drawing storyboards, production design,
layouts, character designs, sketches, model sheets, thumbnails, and comic book
pages, is because I havent applied the power of manifestation and the law of attraction to
my drawing work and process yet. Up till this point Ive pictured the books and images
emerging, but not the actual act of me putting a pencil and a pen to a blank piece or even
a filled up piece of paper. The visuals, art, and pictures, have no foundational guidance
system (hand holding a pen pressed against paper) to emerge FROM! I cant believe I
never applied my master builder 22 guardian angel of manifestation skills to pen mileage
sooner! I need to picture ink, pen, and pencil lead mileage. In the past I have not thought
directly of visualizing such a thing. Im going to take a picture of my hand creating lines
on paper, and post it on my wallNever mind. I DREW it and posted it on my wall
instead. This is very much a Eureka Moment. The Hand-Pencil Mileage Master Building

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on Paper Manifestation Law of Attraction Theory will work. I just know it. Its my
guidance system. I even drew a page with notes all over it, which is now on the wall
behind my desk. To draw Spawn, Todd had to visualize himself drawing. To draw
Cerebus, Dave Sim had to visualize himself creating the pencil and pen mileage
necessary for 6,000 sketches and comics pages and however many graphic novels.
----Tilt-Shift! Miniature Faking! Smallgantics! I love this visual technique. It makes (mostly)
aerial overhead shots of really big thingslike airports, cities, and skyscraperslook
really really tiny and small. I LOVE miniature models! And with smallgantics, you could
swear that stuff was tiny and small, but in actuality it isnt. It is but merely an optical
illusion.
Smallgantics is one of the most impressive, innovative, entertaining, impressive, and
appealing visual techniques Ive seen since the dawn of anime. Supposedly this camera
technique of filmmaking was invented as recently as 2006 by Jim L. Clark, the producer
of a Radiohead video, who let the director of the Radiohead video use the newly invented
technique, and later the technique was picked up by Adult Swim for many of their
bumps, and David Fincher in his newest film The Social Network.
----My adoptive father and brother are both very aggressive and emotionally abusive people.
Both are good at screaming at people, being aggressive towards them, verbally assaulting
them, disarming their victims, manipulation, deceit, lying, and convincing you youre
worthless and theyre more important than you could ever HOPE to be. Its disgusting.
Its sickening. Their selfish evil ways. Theyre both pretty abusive, so thats double abuse
and verbal-emotional assault I must contend with. From 2 bullies! Sometimes at the
same time.
----However, I am picking up some very good emotional self-defense tips. No one in
psychology, no doctor or shrink Ive ever encountered ever wanted to teach me about
how to defend myself. Theyve wanted for a long time now to keep treating me, filling
my head with bullshit that says what Andrew and Cary do is my fault, how can I help
THEM, so Ill keep getting abused, emotionally and psychologically assaulted, never
really heal myself or defend myself, so Ill keep getting attacked, and my shrinks can
leach money off of my parents through my therapy sessions that way. Its a very
conniving strategy these Ph.D quacks use to steal your money from you and never really
help you recover from whats really bothering you. They teach you to never stand up for
yourself, never develop emotional or physical self defense, and just keep being a helpless,
weak, trauma-bound victim your whole life. Why my therapist was never stripped of her
license to practice for being inefficient Ill never know. Because she doesnt really help

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people. Shes so full of herself she only thinks she helps people. She never really does. I
can attest to that.
----Launching My Own Streaming Online TV-Video Channel
So, now Im in charge of my own streaming Online TV Channel! That is pretty amazing I
know how to do that. Not everyone can do something like start their own streaming video
channel, let alone one of vintage 90s animated series. This is better than YouTube and
equal in awesomeness to Roku in many ways! Im so proud of myself that I managed to
launch and build my own indie TV channel. This is the start of a whole new genre in my
opinion. How I did it, how I got it up and running and build the user interface and HTML
is my trade secret legally owned by me, and I wont be giving that one up easily. Lets
just say how I did that particular thing, the method I used, isnt listed in Wikipedia yet,
nor is it covered in YouTube. Most people dont know about what resources I used to
create my channel with. The stream playback is more reliable than your typical Flash
video website. Mine runs automatically, on pretty much any computer! Im a genius! And
an inventor! And an online TV Network President, Developer, Engineer, and Executive
Producer. Not to brag or anything, but damn Im good! This was a lot easier to do than I
thought it would be. Ive wanted to start my own animation channel for a long time now.
Now with the power of the internet, I can and did launch my own animation networkchannel, not owned by any corporation or conglomerate media company, but hosted by a
division of Google. Damn Im crafty. I have yet to find out if this can suffice for an actual
business model. Well, I always have been an entrepreneur.
Toonrealm.blogspot.com:
This website is my archetype. It is my invention. My prototype. My business model. Its
one of the pinnacles of my innovation.
I must have truly created something good in the media. Toon Realm is becoming more
and more addictive to me. Im getting addicted to my own TV Channels!
SplitAtomBoom & Toon Realm. I love Sam & Max, and I love the idea that I can tune
into watch it and other favorites of mine in the future any time! Now that Ive gotten a
taste of YouTube, Roku, and Toon Realm, I want more. A LOT more. I dont know how
I ever got by without such healthy outlets before. Im a webmaster-producer who works
in online pop culture broadcasting now. Im the DJ of the channel, I get to pick what
people see. That power is now mine, and not just theirs. The difference between my
channel and the high stakes mainstream ones is money I suppose. I make my channel
cheaper and more spontaneously. Its an art. And I dont have to fold if my shows dont
deliver the numbers, but I can play pretty much anything I wantWithin reason.
The only real kind of marketing that actual works is the kind that reaches people where
they actually are. So, where are the people on the web? Where can I go where people will
always be to get stuff in front of them? So far Ive found video descriptions in my most

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popular videos and some of my post signatures on Manga.com to be more than enough
to get some turnover.
Places I have accounts @ (& if I had my way, theyd all use adsense):
YouTube (300,000)
Flickr (not known)
Photobucket (stats not known)
WCN (2,000)
Tokyopop.com (15,771)
Manga.com (stats not known)
Blogger (2) (1,000)
Webstarts.com (2) (stats unknown)
Boards.adultswim.com (200,000)
Veoh.com (150)
DA (5,000)
Twitter.com (stats unknown)
Myanimelist.net (545)
Total Stats (if it was Adsense)
522,390 clicks/views
Webhosts that help you earn money: Blogger, WCN, Webstarts
Sites I get royalties for now:

Parallax
Mono Comics
JM Strebler official
Toon Realm
------

Not only am I a genius. Im also psychic. Im a polymath, so I guess thats to be

expected. I often experience various forms of precognition. I can predict others speech
patterns, behavioral actions, and movements in culture and the arts.
The best way to become invisible to your rival is to wait until they fall asleep.

P a g e | 778

Invisibility
Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from,
the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary
withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must
learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.
Assume Formlessness
By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of
taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept
the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to
be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything
changes.
----Invisibility is power. Invisibility, or formlessness is an ancient strategic tactic that the
Asians have been using for a long time now. Asian cultures value invisibility. They fear
and respect it. My mother does not understand this concept. Shes always keeping the
windows and doors of the house open, making it easy for evil plotting neighbors across
the fence and street to spot us and keep tabs on us. I have a tendency towards invisibility.
I like not being seen, by anyone. I like being alone. My parents and therapists constantly
trying to go against and subvert my Mongolian, Chinese, and Asian naturea part of
nature I might addto pursue invisibility. I do not like being seen. They keep trying to
force me into traffic, which is one of the worst things you can do to an Asian-American.
It feels like theyre raping me of my heritage and human nature. Id rather kill myself
than be seen outside of my house in Florida. So shameful and humiliating. Its inhumane
to do this kind of thing to me and deprive me of my Far Eastern nature.
Visibility = Not cool. Soullessness.
----But honestly? I dont work with Asian artists. Or perhaps I should just say I prefer not
to. Asian artists may be smart at drawing and talented. But they are downright
ignorant and obnoxious in the personality department, think just a little too highly of
themselves, and constantly turn their noses up, act too good for, and look down
arrogantly upon artists like me. Its annoying. I only work with Americans, quite
honestly.
-----

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I am a master of the Decoying Technique. I have a lot of decoys or shadow clones to

divert public attention away from a certain person. Its about them. Not me. Its amazing
how easily you can fool people with a decoy stand-in or two on television. As long as my
decoys do their thing, no real attention is where it shouldnt be, my destination, and
success at Following Through and overcoming my Follow Through Disability is assured.
The Mirror Technique and The Decoy Technique, though similar in nature, are not the
same. The Mirror Technique is intended to discourage and frustrate someone by looking
and acting like them. The Decoy Technique is meant to conceal someone by looking and
acting like them. While they do appear similar, theyre clearly not the same thing.
Further proof that not everyone in the media who looks like me is out to get me. Thats
just the other half. The ones NOT using the Decoy Technique, but that are instead using
Brian Johns original face stealer mirror technique. I used to think it was all the same, but
then I realized there are too many people trying to look just like me or similar to me for it
to all be negative or The Mirror Technique. A lot of it is people who want to mask my
presence and help me blend in to my surroundings, and not get in trouble for various
things the Mirror Clones use. The Decoy Clones hate and oppose the Mirror clones. And
to think, I used to think they were all bad and malicious. I was clearly too swayed by my
emotions to see what was really going on. If someone wanted to damage me by putting
attention on me, they would have focused their attention DIRECTLY on me a long time
ago, instead of just using a bunch of fake Js to confuse people. In other words, if youre
fighting me, youll go for my throat or attack me directly. Not distract the public in odd
public displays of eccentricity.
The repercussions of my actions, in this or any other lifetime havent really been
documented or chronicled and made tangible yet. Not publicly anyway. Im influential
enough that in some areas I influence the status quo and majority, even if and when it is
never fully admitted by the media, public or society. Keeping me a secret to society has
repercussions people arent seeing or witnessing yet as I get older, both positive and
negative. I cant foresee things like that. But what I do know is if I do something of my
own free will, or fixate on something, sooner or later society, authority figures in modern
society, and the government will too, who are both older and younger than me. My
influence on society as a so-called low key public figure is vast and powerful, even if
no one acknowledges it, its still there, like a bad neighbor who wont leave you alone
and whos stalking you and yelling things at you from down the street. That kind of
problem is hard to get rid of, and you often wonder if itll ever go away. If I strive to
work 24/7, so will Hollywood. If I use computers and embrace the internet for good and
bad, so will normal society. If I hate Florida, so will the rest of the United States. And
if I value my heritage, so will everybody else. But the media will go to great lengths to
censor this knowledge, downplaying and denying it, ESPECIALL most of Viacom.
Viacom is not known for its honesty and straightforwardness, unless its to deceive the
common man of course.
Im going to use the same financial strategy Osamu Tezuka used, in terms of his ventures
and assets, and how he funded his early business ventures in animation. As it turns out

P a g e | 780

thats called diversification. Im a diversifying. I diversify my earnings and profits by

investing all or most of the money I make from my most profitable or stable jobs, and
invest the money I made from career A (my paying job) and invest that money into other
fields I want to explore, like screenwriting and an animation studio, or at the least,
producing animation.

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Chapter 29

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Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

Willpower and Intention do not always translate into Action, Execution, and FollowThrough Power.
I like the whole newly found Micro-Builder Pen Mileage Theory I discovered. Its
given me a newfound confidence in my sketching and drawing process. It makes it easier
to endure the labor that goes with creating more detailed textures and patterns on
paper. Its already helping in that area.
Drawing Necessity: Less internal debate and discussion. More Action and Drawing Art
and Drawing, words whether printed or spoken will never do real visual art justice.
You can say the word sword all you want, but it will never compare to be beauty of
seeing a well drawn sword in actual artwork. Literature only substitutes so much for
visual art. And not enough I might add.
----Id like to say money & profit ($) were the main motivations behind my work, artwork,
and what I do, but theyre not. Even if thats the case with other people, particularly in
the selling business, it isnt like that with me. Money isnt a good enough motivation for
me. Im not at all interested in money. I like spending money, but honestly I dont really
mind not having money, let alone a lot of it. Profit, selling, and art is not my motive for
drawing and creating art. I draw for inspiration. It can be hard to draw just because
someone tells me too, even when I tell myself too. But honestly, what is my main
motivation? Im pretty sure my motive for drawing is the creation of quality artwork, and
detailed and highly designy artwork. No wonder I become so disheartened when my own
artwork doesnt live up to my personal standards! Because its not feeding my motivation
to create good and amazing drawings, sketches, and designs!
Western Animation Production vs. Anime
As a producer, Im starting to honestly see the benefits American animation
production has over traditional anime production. If you DO succeed in making a
comic book, and it does get adapted, but you dont get hired by the studio to produce the
animation itself, there are pros and cons to doing authentic anime vs. authentic U.S.
animation. One of the biggest, most notable differences is control. If you work on an
American show as opposed to a Japanese production, one of the main benefits you have
is you get to actually guide the staff, be one of the true leaders of the production process,
delegate tasks, and generally have a lot of say so in how the production is produced and
made. If you only got to make an anime, you might never get the opportunity to work
directly with your favorite production artists and voice actors in the industry. If its
entirely done by contractors, despite having a lot of weight in your production title
(Manga Creator and Original Concept), you dont get the opportunity to lead people.
You dont have complete control. If its the latter option, all you really do is sign off on a
contractual agreement and you really have little say in how the series is actually made.

P a g e | 783

The subcontracting studio is going to want to have their say, and lots of it. They have the
real power and status in the production process, particularly if the overseas post
production work is produced in Japan. Your just a figurehead, really. The anime studio
directs most of it. If the series is produced locally, as an Executive Producer you actually
get to have that say. In many ways, assuming it works, it can be a very rewarding
experience making localized animation. I might want to pursue such a thing after all. I
like the prospect of having control and input in some ways.
The Masculine Anger of DBZ. The Dark Mystery of Batman. The Angst of Spawn and
Akira. The Dynamism of Conan. The Heroic Mythology of Cerebus and Star Wars. All
characteristics I reinterpret and borrow from to build my own World, one page & sketch
at a time. Or even 20 pages at a time! So far there isnt anything out there exactly like
the End Game I have in store for Parallax. Nothing in American is anything like it, or can
even compete with it. Im coming completely out of left field here.
Drawing Lessons:
The vast majority of my best artwork is drawn during the daytime. I never draw in
the thick of night. All of my drawing, the more detailed stuff is drawn when I am
most awake, which is the same time and schedule during every day: Between 12:00
p.m. and 5:00 p.m. The time my 5 Hour energy capsules are most active and
powerful. I shouldnt stress or feel guilty just because Im not drawing in the middle
of the night. Given the circumstances of my life and how my daily routine with my
family is set up, thats perfectly understandable. And I never get any work done on
Holidays or when my parents and brother are having company, family, and guests
over for conversations or meals. Having people over is nerve wracking, so I never
get any work done at that time. Happy I could acknowledge it now. It will leave me
more prepared for such events in the future.
Times I get a lot of work done: Around noon and in the early and sometimes late
afternoon, when Im most awake.
Times I get no work done: When company who arent my friends is over. When Im
fatigued and sleepy. At nighttime. In the middle of the night. In the early morning.
When its a fast news day. Holidays. Days my family argues. When Im feeling
hungry on an empty stomach, in pain, sick, or stressed. When theres too much
noise in the neighborhood or from Andrew and Cary.
In other words, I only get my best artwork done when my life and myself are most
stable, healthy, awake, and happy. Pleasant stable conditions produce pleasant
stable work.
Im happy with my progress. I havent posted anything just about on the ASMB for at
least 25 days. Ive been off of the ASMB, been kicking the habit for 25+ days now!
Today it is December 15th. I stopped going to ASMB consistently since at least around
my birthday, the 17th of November. One of the best birthday presents I could give myself

P a g e | 784

would be to stop going there. Ultimately Id like to never visit ASMB for another 5 to 10
years. Go decades without it or never return again as long as its possible.
Words that have gone pop and get tossed around casually on TV, like theyre
MEANGINLESS: Epic. Design. Designer. Warrior. Grim Reaper.
Drawing schedule: 11 a.m. 5 p.m.
Average number of drawings produced per day: 1 to 10 pages (usually 1 to 3)
Talking about problems hardly ever solves them. Action is a much more effective
solution. Follow Through is only achieved through Action. Follow Through
Disability is only cleansed by Taking Action.
Talking about drawing doesnt make drawing happen. Action does. So if you really
DO want to draw, you take action and do it. None of this discussion theory
bullshit I used to indulge in.
--------Came up with a solution:
I can use self-hypnosis and hypnotherapy to tune out hallucinations, fear, anxiety,
phobia of socializing, people, and noise, as well as hateful comments, criticism and
slander from the media, and negative evaluation. If I reprogram my mind
subliminally, in the future none of those things will stand in my way to achieve my
career goals and get work done. It will be miraculous and amazing. They will all be
gone some day. Especially in my thoughts, head, imagination, and consciousness.
Self-hypnosis is the bomb! Im succeeding at everything: Drawing. Ignoring my
annoying neighbors and not even hearing what theyre saying! Working hard and
compulsively. Not letting discouragement or insults stop me. Not getting intimidated
or scared by slander in the media. Cocentration. Im doing it all! How? Because
thats how Im programmed subliminally now! Just like when advertisers show
commercials with products. Its based on the same psychology as marketing principles,
except its even more powerful than that. Its like nothing affects me currently. Nothing
is getting to me.
I am patriotic in some ways. I still do view America as the Greatest Country in the
World, even better than Japan, despite what anime fans claim. America is the Number 1
Country. I care a lot less about Japan now than I used to. Its just maturing and coming to
accept where I come from: America.
In Defense of the West
What am I? Thats easy, Im an American-based Dark Science-Fantasy Martial Arts
Cartoonist. Quite a mouthful. Im big on specialization. I take influence from manga and

P a g e | 785

anime, but I have no desire to draw manga or anime anymore. Just its pacing and
timing, the subliminal rhythm, not the surface. I just want to make stylized cartoon
sequences. Im tiredvery tired, of trying to make my art conform to mere words and a
plot. Thats no good. When I draw, I want to put all my effort into what I am doing at the
moment. Each individual action. I want to build each individual image and action. Stop
thinking in terms of motion, and start translating what I see or visualize & imagine into
still imagery. Im a cartoonist, not an animator. The one of the best things about the
action, fantasy, and science-fiction genres is probably how, in a way, their nature in
relation to how theyre produced by Japan and Asia, as opposed to just America is that
unlike manga and anime, theyre not Japanese-invented products, and therefore not
originally trademarked by the Japanese. Americans can tell action, fantasy, and sci-fi
stories with anime rhythm, pacing, and timing, just as well as the Japanese do. Its like
videogames. Both America and Japan make them equally well and equally laboriously
and tediously. Just because there are action, sci-fi, and fantasy anime does not mean those
genres belong to or were created exclusively by the Japanese. As a matter of fact, every
single one of them has a western origin.
-----From this point on, Im subscribing to the Space Ghost philosophy of action cartoons:
Less Talk. And More Action
Space Ghost
Ill never get jack shit done or down on paper if I dont translate thought and speech into
taking action and Following Through.
Its impossible to visualize my fighting, gun firing, and sword fighting sequences
before I draw them. Ive tried and every time I tried to do so, I failed. Really, the
only way to draw action is to dive right in there and draw it. Action is all about Doing
& Execution, not Preparation & Planning. When it comes to battles and action and impact
on paper, you can only plan out so much. And I should know. Im a master planner, a
Master Builder. The only real way I can make the action pages appear is by
committing pen and pencil to paper. Just Do It. Etc., etc. Not much else to say really.
I just finished drawing 5 pages of a fight scene in 1 day! Thats 1/4th of an entire typical
size comic book issue page amount, in one day! Its amazing what you can accomplish
when you set your mind to work and stop theorizing, and just work hard. An artist really
needs to milk a scene for all its worth. Real power, or impact panels, where things
get smashed together and create a physical impact, should be used sparingly. More
sparingly than they appear to any first time casual reader.
Im not really creating manga currently. Im just making comics. Nothing more. It has the
same timing and pacing, but thats about it.

P a g e | 786

Doing really well. Drew 4 pages of dialogue scenes (comics), bringing my haul to a total
of about 9 pages or so, give or take the one I drew a while ago when taking lessons.
Anyway, if I round it off, its a total of 10 pages Ive done roughs for and finished getting
down on paperAll drawn by hand in pencil. Im getting better at this thing, the drawing
of pages. I can sense it. I havent used any thumbnail prelims for those 9 pages. It was all
freestyling, along with using samurai comic book reference by Hiroaki Samura for the
dialogue scenes. Made things quite a bit easier for me to finish the whole thing. Its
amazing that Ive finished 1/2nd (One Half) of a full manga issues in less than a
week. I finished half of an issue in 2 days, actually. But what I do need to put a stop
to is the unconscious urge to keep raising up the bar for my art high jumping tasks
everytime I go beyond my limit. I know exactly what that is: A tendency towards
overwork, over-planning and a burnout to self-sabotage. Instead of trying to raise
the bar every time I jump over the bar, I need to keep it at the same height, even
when Ive jumped way far over it. I need to keep the psychology of my process
encouraging, otherwise Ill get self-sabotaged, burnt out, and intimidated.
So in other words, instead of waiting to draw another 4-5 page tomorrow because
the limit I reached was 5 today, what I really need to do is keep the deadline and
schedule the same. 1 page daytime deadline. That way it will be just as easy to reach
that point of maximum performance and endurance again. Always set the bar low,
even when youve been meeting it and going more than way over it for weeks. That
way I can never jinx my daily daytime performance by assigning myself too much
daytime work at any one time or day. And only work in the middle of the day and
early afternoon or late morning. Im planning on sticking to that policy. I need to
keep my expectation low so its incredibly easy to meet them.
When it comes to my comic book illustrations, development artwork, storyboards,
designs, panels, and layouts. Theyre very VISUAL. Its impossible for all of my
concept to be put into written form, or poetically described, or even crudely
described. That is because words will never do my comics justice. The comics
themselves are the only actual thing that does them any real justice. Micro-Building
the pages. Macro-Building doesnt work for me now. Its boring to me. I no longer
even want to sum up my comics pages in words.
Its hard to find anything enjoyable purely by browsing anymore. Theres a lotta names
tossed around. Lotta archived lists that reveal nothing about what a comic looks like or
reads like. Kind of sucks. The comics market is oversaturated. Nowadays your lucky to
be seen by 10 people on the internet, let alone 10,000. I guess, technically, I am my own
audience, and Im all of my own audience
Leave. Me Alone. I wont pick up the phone. And I wont listen to messages, sent by
someone who calls up and says I dont like how your living my life. Get yourself a wife.
Get yourself a job. Youre living a dream. Dont you be a slob, slob, slob.
Weezer

P a g e | 787

Purely because of who Im forced to exist near on a weekly and daily basis, as of the last
5 to 9 years, these people have made me feel like an unpopular outcast, even in my own
home and bedroom. Im well aware that Im not really an outcast, but that is my reaction
to how they make me feel about my social living conditions. I never get to see my best
friends anymore, except Chris my oldest friend, which is beneficial, but hes not even
living in Florida currently.
---------I dont know how it happened exactly, but Im clearly in the beginning stages of the next
level of my life evolution. Ive finally started to gain control of my inner artist. The Inner
Comic Book Artist within me has finally begun to awaken. I used some secret subliminal
mental tricks, and now my discipline and ability to act when I need to is way up. Ive got
my biorhythm working in my actual favor finally. Im strongest during the day. I power
down at night and when I have company over, and try not to complain too much about
these periods, even when they can be incredibly painful to experience. I also cant have
the laptop in the same room as me whenever I am drawing my comics page. And Ive
basically banned both DA and ASMB from daytime (or anytime) usage. They only hold
me back in Following Through. The negative threads on sites like those are just too
negative. Theyre too powerful. Too many posts fuel such unneeded negativity and
negative spectacle. I refuse to partake in said crimes of morality.
Part of my physical and spiritual power is most of the time, when Im telling a story, the
story is my life AND my characters. If my character is acting violent, I feel the same
way. Thats my problem. I cant just keep it on the page like some people, or artists, can.
I am what I put on the page. My work evokes a strong emotional reaction in me in
particular. It is very difficult for me to listen to peaceful and inspiring music if what Im
drawing is aggressive and loud. The music I listen to while drawing has to match what
Im drawing. Im an actor by nature in that sense. The empathy in me picks up on the
emotional undertones of my work, and it affects the world around me too. How the
science of this psychic ability works I dont know. I dont know if Ill ever know how it
works because its not normal. Most artists are not this extreme. No wonder I like death
metal, speed metal, and progressive rock so much. Its fast and intense. Just like me. I get
a very strong emotional sense and vibe of what Im seeing and feeling as Im watching or
browsing TV, the internet, and the news. The feelings those writers and directors and on
screen personalities give out to me are some of the strongest feelings Ill ever feel.
Needless to say that in person, when watching or reading those things if someone speaks
out for or against me, whether theyre attempting to cause me pain or pleasure, euphoria
or depression, happiness or misery and sadness, theres no denying I feel what theyre
sending out very strongly. I have since I was emotionally traumatized by Bryan and
awakened to my own emotional strength in 02, when the media was really coming down
harshly and hard as a rock on me.

P a g e | 788

Though it will never be perfect, the force of will I possess, the willpower I am in
possession of, the ability to compulsively or leisurely act or choose not to act in an effort
to achieve a means to an ends, is a truly impressive sight to behold.
As a Scorpio and 22 Master Builder, I am gifted with incredible willpower that starts off
either weak or misguided or misaimed or un harnessed and analyzed in the beginning of
my life, but really picks up in my adulthood after much introspection and self analysis. I
have that inhuman willpower to make things happen, create whatever I want, and never
stop working. As long as I do it during the day. Nights are my sleeping and off time,
due to circumstances beyond my willpower and self control. So be it. I can accept that for
now. At one point I rejected it in my mind quite profoundly, but lately due to outside
forces Ive come to accept that thats one area of my life someone else is in control of for
now, because they have more power and influence than me in that area: My parents.
But back to my power. Part of my power is my will power. It is immense and powerful,
and I can do just about anything I dream up. In time. Over the passage of time when Ive
had enough time to think about it and analyze it over ten or fifteen years. But inevitably,
in the end, mine is truly the Iron Will no matter what I do. I have the ultimate control
over myself, even if the area of emotions and eating and drawing, and other
neurobiological areas of my life, where the body and internal body biorhythm can
actually work against ones will and mental powers. Ive already transcended all of that.
ALL of it. Because Ive exploited no only the concept of Iron Will, Micro-Building, my
identity as a Master Builder, but also hypnosis, and control over not only my conscious
mind, but ultimately also the path and direction of my internal compass. My subliminal
unconscious mind. Hypnosis has made many things possible now that I doubted would
ever be possible before.
The Chronicles of Mono of New Earth or Parallax,
Potential Names:
The Chronicles of Mono
The Chronicles of Mono of New Earth
The Mono Chronicles
Mono
Parallax
End Times
This series of short stories just might become a True Comics Reality after all, if they
arent already. Im finally drawing the page prototypes for my story, so anything is
possible. Im even beginning to self-publish the first issue of my first real standard format
comic book, albeit primitive artwork with shitty paper quality. But still its going to be a
nice first step when I finally see that comic book printed up, in my house for myself.
Now Thats an accomplishment!

P a g e | 789

Without a doubt, drawing comic book pages is the Ultimate Test of Wills. And the
Ultimate Test of Bladders! Ha hah!
Ive already met my 10 year goal, to draw one original comic book page before 2020,
within the next 10 years. Easy enough. Now its time to build on top of that, and see just
how far I can take this new power, starting sometime in the coming week, during the day,
on a weekday. I dont have power over a studio. I dont have power over the internet
anymore, and I dont have power over people. But what I do haveis power over paper
and a blank computer screen, to micro-build and manifest as I wish. And if I utilize it
right, that will be quite the power. Quite the wonder to behold.
Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, Williams Street, Production I.G., Bandai, Toei,
Funimation, Tokyopop, Bang Zoom, Viz, SLG, Oni Press, Dark Horse.
I like what they all do, but I dont want to be them. Im in love with the idea of doing my
own thing. My thing is my websites and my publishing outlet through Lulu. Im aiming
to build up a prolific production process. Considering how many disruptions and
distractions there are in my life, Ill be surprised if my production process actually does
end up prolific.
----If Andrew, Cary, and Peggy, family members, were employees working for me, Id have
fired their fucking asses a long, long time ago. You hold your boss back THAT much in
the real world, you get fucking fired. Its just too bad you cant fire your parents and
siblings. Or can you??
----And if you happen to be an actor tried to look like me and you attempt to work with me, I
fire your sorry asson principle alone. If youre too creepy of a person, your ass is fired.
---Uh-oh! Andrew just got here. Better call off EVERYTHING. Andrews here. My entire
daytime schedule in my own house is now CANCELLED!!!! No more drawings for
today, because of his destructive line of sight.
----Mastermind Names: Overlord, Mastermind, Visionary, Creator, Executive
Producer, Planning, Strategist, Builder, Master Builder, Architect
If company is over, I watch Roku. If no ones here but mom or dad, and it during early
afternoon, I produce.

P a g e | 790

Its hard to believe Ive been drawing comics since 08. For 3 whole years already
I can do quite a few things now, even if my skills are unpolished and unrefined. Skill is
still skill.

I can create my own online streaming TV Channel

I can draw and publish my own comics
I can write and publish my own nonfiction book
I can write a screenplay
I can draw a thumbnail storyboard

I can do tons of stuff. Ive built all of these things from scratch. While Im not the most
popular content creator, that doesnt bother me because Im not trying to be the most
popular content creator. I just like to create.
If Toon Realm does get high enough ratings and become profitable enough, I might just
have to consider going legit and selling my e-broadcasting business to a media company
that might be interested in pursuing broadcasting. Whether it was an animation studio,
traditional broadcaster, media company, or tech company is undecided yet. This is only if
I recoup the expenses I used up in the first place.
If someone comes along with a willingness to add onto my original broadcasting vision
and a business and media plan and wants to offer me six figures or higherwell now,
thats a horse of a different color. That goes under my expansion plan.
The History of Monos Employer and Organization:
The Shadow Op. Seven Foundation
Shadow Op 7 had founding members, who built and founded the Organization named in
their Honor. They were from the early development Colonies of Ancient New Earth.
Each became a sage within his own lifetime, and in a way theyre an ancient team, what
remains of their legacy came to be known as
The Seven Sages of New Earth:
The Founding Party of Shadow Operative 7
Mostly not military figures, but still able to possess much military genius, at one point
they made a Joint Decision to Fight and Punish Evil wherever it may reside on NewEarth. This organization existed for Fighting Evil long before the Great Evil Nosferatu
emerged in the ghost subconscious of mainstream culture. The Seven Sages of New Earth
have had secret monuments built in their honor, at select sites in whichever lands they
chose to call home. The Seven Sages were wise and well traveled. And everyone
depended on them for wisdom, peaceful guidance, and advice. They survived, managed,
built, fought for, did, met a lot of people and, generally accomplished a lot in their
lifetimes.

P a g e | 791

Creating an epic story will not necessarily make you set for life the way it did George
Lucas. For every George Lucas, there are 10 times as many Robert E Howards and JRR
Tolkiens.
When it comes to copyright defense and infringement, I have mixed feelings. Im 50/50,
in terms of whether I feel like defending or destroying copyrights.

Part of me like borrowing and giving to other creators, artists, writers, inventors,
and designers altruistically and generously and desperately wants his work to be
accepted in the public domain, where my ideas and contributions can be accessed,
not just in the internet, but archives in general, without making too much hoopla
or fuss about it. A gesture of good will, if you will.

The Other Half of me doesnt like people jacking and stealing or otherwise
messing with my face, my likeness, my precious invaluable ideas and designs,
and my general shit. Part of me wants to get that royalty every time someone does
buy one of my ideas as executed by someone else whos borrowing from me.

By now, upon seeing Google, DeviantART, YouTube, and Webcomics Nation, I

have extremely mixed feelings in this area of my career and life If the first half
won, Id be incredibly egoless, a Giver, and very influential. If The Other Half
won, Id be a multi-billionaire by now. But Im not. In other words, I have a very
strong love-hate relationship with the theories of Lawrence Lessig, because in
some ways them and the internet have helped me, and in other ways, following
his theories has made me vulnerable to one too many cheap assed idea thieves and
designer plagiarists on DeviantART and the general internet, who only believe
in taking from me, never giving or giving back, and theyre the worst. They insult
me and they dont lend Lessigs theories any justification or credibility when you
take those plagiarists into account.

Overall, I feel like my bold initial career move of taking to the internet with Lessigs
theories on influence and generosity, or giving freely of your ideas to others so their
influence can more quickly spread if someone doesnt need your permission to use them
on the internet, and applying the theories to my own contributions to the internet was
without a doubt one of my greatest most successful career experiments ever. Nonetheless
it had its setback, rogue saboteurs, and unexpected moments. I was stunned by the sheer
scope of how many people blatantly imitated my example(s) on all accounts and senses,
and how little people tried to deviate from my original models, blueprints, and examples
for my enterprises and projects. What I didnt plan for was how love-hatishly insulting
some of these original artists (particularly the young females with attitude) could be,
without me even telling them what was really going on with me. That was truly an odd
thing to behold.
----

P a g e | 792

Ways my comic book narrative storytelling does take influence from and copy from
anime and manga, while still remaining a very American comic:

Fantasy.
Action.
Science-Fiction.
Fighting.
Architecture.
Perspective.
Pacing.
Timing.
Serious Drama.
Rhythm.
Camera Shots.
Close-Ups
Positive and Negative Space.
Fabric
Light and Shade/Shadow.
-----

As a character designer, some people consider characters like Mono Jubei wearing khaki
capris to be a new thing. But really, I gave Mono khaki pants because it is what Im
used to wearing nearly every day. That part, his pants fabric, is based on myself and how
I dress. I draw characters in khaki capris and bluejeans because that is what I wear just
about every day.
In my early fan-comic days, I did a lot of Star Wars, Sin City, DC Universe, and John
Woo doujinshi in my early public artwork. Their use of positive and negative space and
black and white ink artwork still inspires me to this day. I still do draw doujinshi works
of Star Wars and Sin City. Doujinshi doesnt just exist for Japanese franchises. It can also
be used and applied toward American franchises as well, like Star Wars and Sin City, or
Lord of the Rings, Conan, Spawn, and Cerebus. But yeah, I love me some good non-porn
doujinshi. It helped me come up with my own ideas.
Its true. If youre up and coming in the creator and art department, the old saying
Beggers cant be choosers is true. Im indeed still a begger on many levels, meaning
unless my status in the industry increases considerably, I should just take into account
whatever real actual opportunities from animation and comics I get, as opposed to ideal
ones that will probably never happen, other than in my delusional little world. My career
heroes dreams consist of real success and tons of people, built on dreams. My lifestyle,
aside from being dull and boring, is built on delusions of grandeur, delusion, eccentric
behavior, and general egomaniacal megalomania. That kind of happens when youre
desire is to build something bigger than yourself I guess. Theres nobility to it in some
ways, my ambition. But there is also a lot of dumb luck.

P a g e | 793

Ever since Third World Countries have been able to more easily attain nuclear weapons
development facilities and arsenals, I a power hungry attempt to become more powerful,
especially after the Taliban rose to infamy, the world just hasnt been secure for third
world countries anymore. Now every loser third world dictator wants WMDs to
destroy our freedom. While I am against Bushs violent war in the Middle East, I am also
against third world countries having access to first world weapons. Thats a disaster in
the making, like the incompetence of BP or something. What the CIA REALLY needs to
monitor and gather intelligence on is weapons development in third and second world
countries before they attain power through jealousy and abuse it all the way to the REAL
end of civilization. Weapons possession doesnt change things. It only spreads fear,
ignorance, hatred, violence, and carnage/pandemonium. I hope Obama is keeping an eye
on such things. I truly do.
Lesson learned? If you really want to defend yourself against a powerful opponent, you
must not leave him with any options to use. You must strip him of his arsenal, as he gets
overconfident and fat. This is the disarmament strategy. This is Sun-Tzu Art of War
type stuff.
----Not to sound dramatic or too epic, but more is at stake than just my small team and a
tiny little project thats not famous in all the major battles I fight. It is necessary for all
mankind that I win. Whether its Brian Johnston, Viacom, or random online discussion.
A lot is at stake. Showbusiness is more than just game and sport. Money, power, society,
the government, the future, social order, peace, my family, peoples safety, friends, life,
honor, and dignity. Not to mention the future of TV, money, billions of dollars, video, the
internet, pop culture, and general entertaining. A lot is riding on my potential victory, and
whether I achieve victory or not.
Hey Jonas Brothers!!!! What do you wash your faces and wigs with? Shit??
My hype machine is getting stronger, bigger, and more numerous in fans and followers. I
actually feel like the hype machine is really starting to take a stand thats actually IN
FAVOR of a villain like me. Which is a shock. I mean I am Mongolian after all. Arent
they all communist?
------Family and Christmas Appropriate Entertainers: Spielberg, Walt Disney, Pixar, Rankin
Bass, Tim Burton. Jim Henson. Danny Elfman. John Williams and the London
Symphony Orchestra. 80s/70s/60s/40s Christmas Movies. Thats about all of them.
-----If I had to choose to die, to save the lives of all my friends and familyI would. Id give
my life for them. Im loyal to them forever more for how much generosity theyve shown

P a g e | 794

me. They didnt have to be as nice to me as they did. No one else did. But theyre made
me feel that much more human and less alone by having them in my life. I kind of do like
residing in an empty home on Christmas Eve. Its easier to keep a low profile if youre
isolated and alone, or so it would seem.
Oh wait, I forgot. Its racist for an American barbarian accept Japan and its cultural
wisdom into your heart and soul, and embrace it, as opposed to this phony love-hate
bullshit everyone else does, including Asians.
My parents finally admitted I dont have schizophrenia tonight, the eve of Christmas.
They finally acknowledge that the delusional voices Ive been hearing are in fact not
myself, but the voices of people in my neighborhood, after I threatened to call the cops on
our neighbors, they finally admitted the truth. That it was all a lie, that my
hallucinations are people harassing me. They didnt word it like that, but they didnt
have to. They cant lie to me or use my mental illness as a shield, or have me locked
away in a psych ward ever again. I now have proof. Other neighbors are equally bothered
by said other neighbors. I have witnesses, and I plan on using the police and witnesses, if
it comes to that and people continue to harass me, like they have been. This admission of
my parents part of the real facts which Ive technically always been aware of, is a True
Christmas Gift. Because it turns out Im not crazy afterall. Bryan Johnston really did try
to have me killed, and the FBI apprehended him when they had enough evidence against
him, and he really did try to slander me and my long lost biological cousin at the same
time. Theres been a lot of disrespect aimed at me, and I know this is the cause of a lot of
it: My parents deception, lies, manipulation and denial of the facts surrounding the
sources of my trauma with Bryan Johnston, various disgruntled (and drunk and
belligerent) neighbors disturbing the peace with their drunk and drug addled conduct, and
the media
Emphasis on MIS diagnosis.
All of my therapists and mental health workers, from Bryant to the people running
Lakeside Hospital and Florida Hospital, to Jo Ann Cook, are guilty of malpractice. They
misdiagnosed me big time. I could sue them all for a lot of money, maybe I will one day
if I ever have the freedom and money to hire an attorney. The unnamed neighbor friends
and my parents admission of their own deception today is enough testimony to win a
case, and a settlement. My schizophrenia misdiagnosis caused a lot of damages and
mislabels. I wonder how much money I can get in damages against Lakeside and Florida
Hospital.
----Im proud of my anti-status. Anti-status is the opposite of status. That means everything
status gives you, anti-status gives you the opposite.
-----

P a g e | 795

Its a big relief to know I dont actually suffer from AH (Auditory Hallucinations) and
that society really is that ignorant and evil. Takes all the pressure off me. Everything Ive
said in this journal is true to the utmost detail. Not a lie or delusion was told.
All artwork has flaws, even the perfect artwork. Hyperdetailed and photorealism may
be effective in instilling awe in the masses, but those drawings are by no means perfect.
Ive never produced a perfect drawing, and neither has you or anyone else. No one draws
perfectly. Theres all kinds of flaws you can find in so-called perfect drawings. Anime
is very flawed. The story is weak, and the in between frames are weak. Theres very little
real movement in the characters on shows like Yu-Gi-Oh. Plenty of Japanese artists do
flawed drawings, from Tite Kubo to Katsuhiro Otomo. No one is exempt. The Japanese
believe strongly in the over-idealized notion of perfectionism and perfect artwork and
film. They will admit this in private if you talk to some of them, or so Ive read. The
Japanese produce flawed imperfect artwork just like every other artist. No artist is beyond
criticism, and no artist produces perfect work. Some work is more detailed, but its far
from perfect. Ive never seen a perfect drawing, including on DeviantART. Every
drawing has flaws. No drawing is perfect. Ill say this a million more times and it still
wont be enough. Never is enough.
-----I wonder if some chick is trying to seduce me by using spells, charms, and voodoo. Isnt
that cheating? Using voodoo and magic to make me turned on by you? No wonder I have
such strong feelings for certain females. Theyre using supernatural elements to try to
trick me into being attracted to them, and manipulating my inexperienced feelings and
emotions in that area. I knew the amount of attraction I felt for some members of the
opposite sex didnt seem right. Theyre trying to use supernatural mojo to seduce me into
dating and having sex with them, so I wont be able to defend myself from female users.
The mojo being used to work me over is just a little too strong not to be suspicious of it.
At least Im aware of it now.
Nothing sends your soul to hell faster than the act of stealing my soul, or should I say
face through photography and film. Anyone who wears my face on TV is going to burn
for eternity in the bowels of hell. Im not joking. Theyre souls, due to the impurity of
their spiritual theft from stealing from a sacred figure such as myself, is an act of the
devil and WILL send you to hell after you die if you attempt it. Whats worse, not being
greedy or damnation. You decide. Adam de la Pena and Bryan Johnston are both going
back to hell, the realm from which they came, after they die.
Im so unbelievably jealous of Dave Sim, Todd McFarlane, and Katsuhiro Otomo right
now. Why? Because Ill never equal them. Ill never even catch up to them. Im lagging
behind them in the experience and youth. They all started their professional careers in
their early and mid 20s. I havent even done anything professionally yet other than
AnimeTV and YouTube, and Im the cursed age of 27. Theyre more passionate about art
than I am. My passion will never match or even rival theirs. They are better than me in
every day. I feel so embarrassed for myself when I look at them and theirsuperiority. I

P a g e | 796

wish I had the confidence and weight of achievement they have. The sad, sad truth is Im
fat an old. Theyre more fit and confident than I am. I know theyre all very encouraging,
but still. Its so easy to get discouraged, by everyone else who doesnt believe in me, who
isnt them. I am but a mere boy. They are the real men. What ever made me think I could
honestly match any of their levels. They started earlier, they worked harder, and they
actually have talent. I have NOTHING!
----Dave Sim didnt originally intend for Cerebus to be so serious and long in the beginning
of his literary career. It got more serious when it got longer, and it got longer after he
started publishing it as an alternative experiment to rival and parody Marvel and DC
comics and sword and sandal books. Cerebus only ended up being epic after sales picked
up and encouraged Dave Sim to continue pursuing Cerebus over the first decade, and if
sales wouldnt have picked up in the first 10 or so years, Cerebus would have ended up
never being finished, or concluded much earlier, or at least considerably less long than
6,000 pages, and even when Dave Sim did say he was doing 300 issues (6,000 pages) no
one believed him even back then. Everyone thought he was a fool.
And to think, all this time Ive only focused on and aspired to Dave Sims End Game, his
end product. Not what he actually started off with resources wise, which was
considerably less ambitious. Nowadays, its ambitious just to read Cerebus, nevermind
being the One Man Army that produces it.
Comics Notes:
only want to do one shitty assed comic page every 10 years
By thinking this way, I reached 10 pages in 2 days. Less is More. The more I focus on
Doing Less, the More I end up Doing. Its adverse psychology, and it is an incredibly
powerful confidence builder for the meek of heart.
From now on this is my motto.
I only want to do one little page every 10 years, but I need to start drawing within the
afternoon of next week.
It takes the pressure off times 1 thousand.
Also, outside of DeviantART and Megatokyo, I cant think of any webcomics that any
normal people read other than mine. This is not a famous fact, nor is it a documented fact.
But it is a fact. And that is why what I do is just as important as Megatokyo OR DA. Who
else could get already established voice actor David Lucas to provide a guest voice actor
appearanceonlineother than me of course. No one! Thats who. I dont see those
guys doing shit like that. There is a place for me out there, and it will become more
pronounced as time goes on. Just not yet. Right now Im just some obscure asshole trying

P a g e | 797

to make it big who nobody cares about, who somehow has a ubiquitous place in pop
culture and the public eye alreadyby some stroke of misfortune.
Whatever I do, I must not completely sell out to the Japanese. I have too much patriotism
and national pride in me to completely conform to Japanese comics. While I do like
manga, I dont want to become the so-called enemy. And besides, my Mono stories are
some of the last great American comics in existence, and could very well revive the
medium, if all goes well. Its not my job to look after Piro. Thats his job. I care about
him like he cares about me, and I am deeply sympathetic towards his wifes recent
misfortune, but I cant afford to get derailed by his personal problems. I have my own life
to contend with.
Dave Sim never drew pages by the thousand. He built his castle one board and brick at a
time. Dave Sim drew 1 comic book at a time, each week at least, for 30 years. He drew
20 pages a month, or 1 page every few days, until he had a 20 page issue each month.
You dont draw a 1,000 page book in one sitting. And no comic book volume of one
story (not series compilation) is ever more than 600 pages long! Thats the amazing part.
Bone is only 1,000+ pages because it covers Jeff Smiths entire career. Not 1 project.
My notebook and pencil is the system I type up all of my panels with. Im never really all
that prepared or ready for using that Notebook Interface more at any one time over any
one other time. Bottom line, if I have 5 Hour energy in my blood, and its between 11
a.m. and 5 p.m., and Ive got a pencil and the notebook in my hand, its as good of a time
to take it to the desk and draw comics on it as much as any other time, which is any time
between the hours of 11 a.m. and 5 p.m.
It doesnt take access to technology to attain access to Comic book page technology
and resources. All it really takes is access to the template interface notebook(s)and a
mechnical pencil I already possess.
Krin vs. Mono is not my actual real series. Its the decoy comic I put up in the meantime.
Its crude nature does not reflect how much better Ive gotten at drawing comics or how
far I have come since whenever it is that I published Krin vs. Mono
IS Google trying to cheat me out of their Adsense royalties. Am I getting shafted by
Google and YouTube. Do they know theyre not paying me enough, or is that just how it
is. Are they really not doing that on purpose. Maybe I just think Im getting shafted
because of how much much I learned they made from their own Adsense business
service. That would be a lot easier to believe, and who knows. Maybe it is the truth, and I
just didnt realize it.
Each page I draw represents 1 spirit of a murdered bully somewhere, or one whos been
incarcerated for life. The more I draw, the more hatred-power I accumulate. All the better
reason to continue!
-----

P a g e | 798

Reached a new milestone, a new personal record today:

Most comic book pages drawn in one afternoon/day. That would be 5 pages.
I now have 20 pages of rough comic book material, but none of it is cleaned or inked. So
Ive still got a considerable amount of work to do. Off to a good start though.
I think I might give Mono a more straightened, parallel sword blade and handle over
time. It is a High Fantasy book after all. If I were Japanese, Id have more incentive to
give Mono Jubei a Japanese blade, as opposed to the mere fact his last name is a Japanese
first name / surname.
One of the trickiest elements of adjusting to comics is the visual transition, not so much
the pacing or rhythm or storytelling or design transition. Just making each panel look big
enough and with enough nuances, idiosyncratic details, and a feeling of gravity, air, and
space. Drawing sketches and inks in comic book format takes quite a bit of practice, work
and getting used to. But if you keep at it, keep at building it, and investing real work into
it, its not as hard as it seems if you keep it up over time. Its still very, very hard, but it is
considerably less difficult if you just shut up, dive in, and do it. Just fill up page, after
page after page, all with lines and bars in and on it, so it doesnt feel like what youre
actually doing: Drawing panels in a comic. The key word here is not necessarily
endurance, though that factors in, but instead: Adjustment. Adjusting the way I draw to
the way comics get made. And Im finding the result is Im five times as productive as I
was with my earlier comics conversion and transitional phase mindset. That period of
my life was downright torture. Failing at drawing comics pages, and watching everyone
on the internet and TV mock my failures, all while saying he surely could never do
better than this! Just look at him. Look at how pathetic this guy is. Gee, that was fun. It
was an incredibly depressing and useless time period. Didnt teach me a thing, other than
to run over people like that by tuning them out of my general process. Actually, that
never does stop. Get used to it. As long as you have aspiration, there always will be
opposition and competition, both in disguise and not so much. The key is finding a way
to not even know its there, as I have. To me nothings even there. Just what Im doing. I
dont attend conventionsbut I can draw as many pages as I like, and without hesitation,
I do. I choose not to engage the opposition most of the time, and instead engage my work.
Ive gotten a lot closer to kicking out the option of engaging peopleand arguing with
them, by common sense alone. Those people dont make any sense. Thats obvious, so
why let them waste your time?
Mono, for whatever I choose to make him, from this point on, needs to show what he is
more than tell you. In other words, if hes a samurai, even if just in spirit, I need to show
that through dialogue and imagery, not literally and blatantly tell. Lazy, amateur writers
use the written word to tell. Professionals show. They demonstrate. I know I too have
fallen into this trap, but Im planning on being one of the main preachers of this
philosophy.

P a g e | 799

Bad things happen to an artists quality when he or she starts becoming too comparative
in the evaluation of his work. I could compare myself to this or that person, but that
would be taking the focus off of the evolution and progressive improvement of my own
work. Im already well aware I draw better than certain other artists. I dont need to be
told this anymore, if ever in the past for that matter. But there will always be artists who
can kick my ass, and that is what I focus on: Matching wits with those higher artists. Part
of the fun is in the challenge, and the challenge is in putting as much appeal and line
quality into your work as possible. There will always be better and worse, but
improvement is the most important thing of all. Too many people want to convince you
that you cant get better and You cant get any worse. You mission, your job, is to
ignore those people and listen to what you want out of your vision, which youre in
control of and youre building, quickly and quietly, piece by piece, Micro-Building and
eventually Macro-Building, when you have more work. The story for Parallax goes pretty
deep, and I dont know if I want the whole thing, the Mono Mythology to end just
because Ill one day finish that whole book series. I dont care if it makes me rich in the
process. Wealth, money, fame, are no longer my goal. Thats part of what caused my
original potential downfall from the art world in the first place, not this.
And as for my marketing failure. Theres a good reason no one talks about or promotes
me.
Its because Im difficult to know, understand, like, or even get along with. Im a difficult
artist. More often than not thats the reason the media doesnt promote artists. They get
boxed in, in The States with a reputation for Being difficult and rebellious and Not
accepting their success complacently. I can accept this, but the world around me cannot.
We will never see eye to eye, unfortunately. Or fortunately, depending on how you view
it.
Apparently, the hosting service Ive been using is going to start using a subscription
service, and if its too much I might have to cancel my site, but if its an affordable flat
fee, I can continue with my various media ventures the world seems to love so much.
Either way I look at it, Beta Mode seems to be coming to an end. If they overcharge,
theyre going to lose my business unfortunately. YouTube is free to use. But it gives its
publishers less control unfortunately, so either way you lose.
One of my medium-term goals has been reached. Ive gotten 20 pages of comic books
done, in pencil sketch form. I finished the Comic Book Equivalent of Manifesto and
Commentary. Im titling it Randomosity Issue 1. Every 20 pages, when I reach the 20 pg.
mark, I shove the art in a manila folder and move on to the next issue or comic volume.
Each issue is a chapter. Each chapter is 20 pages, just like Manifesto and Commentary.
Each Chapter of Randomosity is a 20 page issue. Only 6 more to go until I have a Trade
Paperback non-narrative Graphic Novel.
Im hoping to achieve finishing at least 2 10 issues of Randomosity

P a g e | 800

With Randomosity, something tells me I could never be happy stopping at or quitting at

just 7 Chapters. If I get good enough at my Comics Journal Volume-Chapters,
Randomosity, quantity will start to not matter, and instead I could do it forever, because
Im doing the art for fun, and have no need to show the majority of it to the world, but
instead plan to self publish as much of the material as I can, exclusively for myself
through Lulu.
Characteristics that Differentiate Me From My Predecessors
Mediterranean Moroccan, Berber, Tunisian
United Kingdom English, British
Chinese Mongolian
America Michigan, Illinois, Florida
Age (currently) 27
Assassination Attempt Brian Johnston
Evil Neighbors
Hospitalization 4 5 Times
INTP / INFP / INTJ
Scorpio Sagittarius
Webcomics
American Manga
YouTube
The Web 2.0
Post-05 Home Theatre Technology
Anime
Celebrity Public Figure Public Face
Inventor
Engineer
Spiritualist Healer
Monk Auto Industrialist Father
----So I recently just discovered a Twitter sister site: Yfrog.com, for storing artwork and
photos. Should be interesting once I get some sleep.
Upcoming Cool Manga to Buy:

Ghostface by Min-Woo Hyung

Bloodline Battlefront by Yasuhiro Nightow
Witch and Wizard by James Patterson and Svetlana
Drifters by Kohta Hitano
Nura: Rise of the Yukai Clan
A Brides Story by Kaoru Mori
-----

P a g e | 801

Almost halfway through Chapter 2 (2 pgs to go) of my Randomosity series. Ive currently
finished page 8, moving onto page 9.
Randomosity has been edited: Ive counted my original pages, and I have 20 pages of
original pencil layouts. I dont know whether I should count that as Chapter 1, Chapter 2,
or an entirely new Chapter, Chapter 3: The Originals.
Ive been very abused by Hollywood and TV as a television and comic book producer
and creator / writer. Am I bitter about my mistreatment at the hands of lesser mortals?
Not really. Id just prefer to forget it, let history deal with it, and move on.
Because information and intel moves at a faster rate, and people are moving faster than
ever, it seems to have made the perception of time in American society slow down. Now
years feel like Decades, especially when you are very young. When you get older, time
either stands still or moves at a normal rate.
The Web 2.0 (Popularity List)

Google
YouTube
MySpace
FaceBook
Twitter
Blogger
DeviantART
Production Design

Architectural Theory
One-To-Three Point Perspective
Architectural Design
Ambiance, Atmosphere, Mood
World Building
Shading
Staging

P a g e | 802

Chapter 30

P a g e | 803

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Perspective and Architecture talk:
In terms of my city and architectural design, I can probably relate to pre-WWII German
expressionist architects the best. Ones that were around before that giant War. I keep
asking myself when I design aerial shots of my cities for Mono to lurk on the rooftops of
and fly over, What would an Expressionist Architect do? I really make it a habit to get
inside the real life architects mind, or minds, as though I were designing a real city from
the ground up. Shapes come first. Perspective comes second, the mid ground come third,
and the horizon line portion comes last, because thats the easiest to blend into the
background to create a sense of isolated architectural overcrowding and depth. Thats the
whole linear perspective thing. The higher up the horizon line goes, the more aerial the
shot becomes, the more linear the perspective. The lower down the camera shot becomes,
the more likely we are to see nonlinear perspective in the foreground, mid-ground, and
background
I divide my Design Theory Inventions and Discoveries into two segments: People and
Architectonics:
People: Bruce Timm, Jamie Hewlett, Jhonen Vasquez, and Yasuhiro Nightow school of
Design for characters, costumes, and props. These character designs use softly
straightened, angular, and geometrically parallel construction. I even draw a lot of it with
a ruler at times, and will a lot moreso in the future.
Architectonics: The Theories of German Architecture, German designer Erich
Mendelsohn, Fritz Langs Metropolis, Syd Meads work on Blade Runner, and the
production design of Corey Senderov Jackson and Jhonen Vasquez in Invader Zim. All
captivating, masterful and outstanding, architectural design work. Some of the best
designs in the history of design.
Heres the deal about that though: I create on my pages, the opposite of what I see in the
direct world around me. In the real Casselberry and Orlando, upon driving in the
downtown areas of Casselberry and Orlando, one may notice a stark contrast between the

P a g e | 804

way people look, and the way Floridian architecture looks. I take that world and I turn it
upside down and inside out and do a 360 in my sketchbooks. I reverse that principle
completely. Where there were once all straight, rigid, stiff and flat squares and rectangles
and triangles, in my sketchbooks now, the architecture takes on curvish characteristics
and geometricly curved forms: Circles, ovals, arches, domes, curves. The designs of
buildings somehow feel more human and warm and less confining, or rigid, old, and stiff.
And with my costumes, characters, fashion, anatomy, where it is all curves and wrinkles
in skin and clothing, I apply a newfound rigidity, parallel lines, and odd square-ish and
rectangular geometric shapes. Japan and Jhonen have been using this technique for a
while.
When I do my Design Reversal, people become buildings with elaborate costumes, and
buildings become people with more relaxed demeaners, just like in Tokyo and New
York. It started off very unconscious, just a design element and theory I was drawn to
without realizing or thinking about it. But now, now that I see the heightened contrast, I
want to bring that out and put it on display for the whole world to see in my various
sketchbooks.
I call it Reverse Character-Building Architectural Geometry.
-----I have around 10 or so pages worth of cleanup-polish worth material in my stack of 33
Randomosity pages. Some have action, some dont. Either way theyre all, all 10 of them
are, manageable. Im looking forward to doing pencil and ink clean, erasing, and
redrawing work of said 10 pages.
Ive lost sight and become disillusioned about my real career goals, so from now on, lets
just say my new career goal is to achieve ultimate power of influence and ruling the
world with Giant Empires. Im already halfway there thanks to the internet and a
misplaced consecration of power in our culture and modern day world society. I dont
rule the world just yet, but I seem to be on track to doing just that: Ruling the Wold.
Global World Brand Domination. Im completely serious about this too. I want power.
And lots of it.
With the help of my numerous Internet empires, both small and large in scale, many of
which I have built and helped build myself, I already do Rule The World. I Rule The
World, Not You. I like being a Power Player. Everyone knows, brands, internet, showbiz,
America, and anime are all Empires that Rule The World.
Its just a little tough to be living the high life when the people employing you to be a
character on their show think your whole thing as the protagonist of their show whos an
unpaid laborer. You cant have your cake and eat it too. If Im living on the streets, Im
afraid the producers and writers of TV shows are somehow going to make all of their
cartoon protagonists homeless and out on the street, because thats what Ill be if they
dont step in and pay me, or at least give me a real job.

P a g e | 805

My Randomosity books are more like a highly intricately choreographed Chinese Ballet
and Kung-Fu Theatrical Dance Number than an Actual Fight. A choreographed dance
number that bloody, with flight, guns, coats, kicks, punches, and swords. Theyre more
Yuen Woo-Ping, John Woo, and Shaw Scope than they are Rambo, along with a lot of
made up positions, made up poses, actions, movement and posturing.
New years eve hit me like a sack of bricks: Local fireworks, fast food, Andrew, my
horribly cold, and ceaseless Twittering from endless fellow Twitterers.
Driving, like drinking, is a skill.
Been quite busy lately:
Running my websites, celebrating Christmas and New Years Eve, dealing with a cold,
drawing comics, managing my internet accounts, launching a site and the advertising
campaign for it, cutting back on TV, coming to terms with the schizophrenia
misdiagnosis. Twittering, and following Twitterers, ripping DVDs, uploading video to
the web, trying to find a new Video Player host (VPFactory).
Karma is real. And karma does deliver payback. Im pretty sure what Brian Johnson
attempted with me is not a freak accident. It WILL happen again, and next time it will
probably happen to the very people who perpetuated the imitating competitor archetype
to begin with (i.e. Viacom, journalists, comedy writers, sitcom and talk show staffs, and
Disney). The internet will turn ugly on them eventually, and it will cause them to lose a
lot of business and maybe their peace of mind and sanity, just like they all tried to do to
me. I like the idea of karma as vengeance. That idea appeals to me for some reason. Do
unto others, and all that. Hopefully all the people that did that will have the same problem
as me one day, that way they wont just lose a lot of business and profits like I did, but
also have the stability of their lives uprooted, just like what happened to me. And I have
no sympathy for them if something like that, an imitation incident, stalker incident,
cyberbullying incident, does in fact happen to them. I cant get over how satisfying it
feels to find out theyre haunted by the exact same problems, especially after all the
incidents and difficulties they gave me. The public needs someone to turn against, to
rebel against pointlesslyAt least according to the media power players

I like the way Ive set up a little 51 ways the scanned video collection on my hard drive
can go to work to earn $ for me online. Probably one of the smartest, most utilitarian
business strategies Ive ever devised. Regardless of whether it succeeds of not, it has the
earning potential. But its impossible if you dont believe in taking risks. Most major
money is made through long-term risk taking and endurance planning. Its not YouTube,
but its essentially something From the engineer of YouTube anime.
I like having a cumulative audience of half a million, or to put it another way 500,000,
500 thousand, or 500 K. No matter which way you sell it, its quite a large figure. Now
wheres my internet royalties anyway?

P a g e | 806

I just saw a commercial for that motif-film, The Warriors Way, and while the film itself
bombed and looks like a real shitfest, it did inspire me to pursue my own work even
further, and continue developing my world. First off, The Warriors Way: Why it sucks.
Aside from it coming across like a cheap attempt to ape my own distinct style with half
the effort, the movie was not just dull and dumbed down in the commercials, and the
choreography and movement was slow, lacking edge. Aside from all that, why even put
Warrior in the title. That automatically declares your movie has no real story or plot if
your emphasizing subject matter over metaphors in your titles, and demonstrates lack of
creativity and originality in naming things. Thats like saying The basketball way and
just doing a whole movie made of nothing but shots of extreme basketball dribbling. Just
an idiotic move in general. Anyway, I have a Visual Motif in my sketchbooks lately: And
that visual motif is Warriors. Heroes, Fighters, and Warriors of Fantasy and Mythology,
all Fighting, All Posing, All Cloaked and Mysterious, all Holding and Using Weapons.
Im surprised no one thought to do a sketchbook of original concept art about it sooner
than this. But nobody did, so if I dont do more comics pages, I probably will pretty soon.
But not today though. Today, Im on break. Warriors on mountain ranges. Warriors in
Valleys. Warriors in Towns. Warriors in Cities. Warriors Flying Through the Air. Flying
Swordsman Warriors. Knights. Jedi. Samurai. Ninja. Cowboys. Soldiers and G.I. Joes.
Barbarians. Wizards.

There are places in the media, where I find many people who in one way or another, are
in a sense similar to me and what I do. Webcomics. Webmanga. Anime. Co-Productions.
TV and Broadcasting. Digital Video. Brands. Music. Fame. Youth. Big Media. Web 2.0.
Comics and Graphic Novels. With people, both male and female, my own age, I am a
huge hit. A real modern day notable name and face and real pseudo-celebrity for a newer
culture and modern day generation. Do people want to discuss me online a lot, even when
Im not around? Yeah, I guess. But Id much rather focus on what I can actually control,
like my work.

Why is Hollywood so lazy? Hollywood takes so fucking long to get any fucking thing
done it pisses me the hell off. I cant stand how slowly they work. TV is a nice illusion to
sell the idea that people in L.A. do things faster than everyone else. They dont. I work
harder than most people in both Hollywood AND Los Angeles. Bunch of lazy lying (and
backstabber) fucks.
New Years Resolution:
Stop checking Adsense and my WCN account so compulsively and obsessively, and start
checking my sketchbooks and sequential art pages obsessively for useable material and
art that can be polished and cleaned up, with unnecessary pencil lines erased. That always
helps. Getting an audience and turning a profit are and always should be byproducts
of a job well done, both as an sequential artist and comics writer. Art isnt a problem area
to me anymore like it used to be, not since I started using subliminal self-suggestions, 5-

P a g e | 807

Hour Energy drink capsules, Micro-Building, and pencil-erasers and just diving into
those panels. Its considerably easier. It, the process, the work, the alleged strain and
stress, no longer scares me into a phobic response in my actions anymore. It no longer
has that kind of fear-based power over me anymore.
In the future, Im planning to increase the amount of erasing I do, and the amount of
clean-up artwork I doto micro-build onto my sloppy geometric pencil sketches that fill
my manila folder and notebooksby at least 60%. Its okay to make mistakes in my art.
Its okay to erase a line here and a line there from both my good and bad drawings.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Composition!
I never thought about this, but since Im starting to actually think in terms of illustrative
comic book composition, I was flipping through TV channels earlier, and I realized, most
storyboard artists in animation have a very, very bad sense of composition. Same with
manga, and a lot of poorly composed comic books. No composition. And what little
composition there is, its sloppy professional work. Very sloppy. Apparently its not
glamorous to mastermind how everything fits into each panel on a sequential art page,
and its layout. Composition isnt that scary if you know how to think compositionally,
and think on the page, in TERMS OF compositions for each panel, upon each panel,
upon each panel, etc, etc, etc.
You know, the hand-eye-coordination in my drawing really sucks, just like the handeye-coordination of most amateur comics artists like myself. It helps to picture the line on
paper before you draw the actual line, and make sure the what you first see in your mind,
in the line itself, matches that same line you commit it to paper.
Until I do enough work, until I do a LOT of work, and I mean a lotMy work is going to
be as bad as the night is black. Your work is only good when youve already done a lot of
actual work, actual pages, and I havent. Ive done 2,000 pseudo pages, where I turned
out crap, for like 10 years. But its a new decade, and Im itching to hit the sketch notes
books again. No more of this bullshit. Okay? I know the worlds not ready to change its
counter-productive ways, most people arent. But I am. Manifesto will shrink in scale
while Randomosity shall grow. Its impossible to do both in one time span. Theyre two
separate, competing enterprises. Thats just how it goes. Randomosity will continue to
grow more and more aggressively until it actually begins to rival Manifesto within the
next decade, by 2020. I can just sense it. I already know its going to happen. Im
precognitive like that.

BOOKMARK

P a g e | 808

For now, Im a:

Webmaster
Production Designer
Costume Designer
Character Designer
Panel Composition Designer
Inventor
Broadcaster

And thats about it. My hobbies will change, and Ill get better at various things, but these
are what I can do now. The things that you are will always change and evolve over time,
if youre any good, unless of course you find something that really, really works for you
and in your favor. But first you must realize that very few actual things are going to.
Even when youre like I was and your ego misinforms you of your true potential, making
you think youre good at everything, as a result, when the opposite is true.
Literature: Finding a Voice
If Im being brutally honest and sincere, Im not trying to honestly conform to any one
genre entirely. In indie comics, there are basically fewer political and creative rules and
boundaries to violate and break. I like the sense of freedom. While I do enjoy high
fantasy, sword and sorcery, sword & planet, dark fantasy, power fantasy, science fantasy,
and noir comics like Frank Miller, Japanese manga, and seinen / fighting manga, Ive had
time and the freedom to sit back and realize, over time, that Ill never specifically be any
one of these genres, now or ever. But I can be inspired by and take influence from them. I
am not specifically trying to be or replicate conformity to or success in any of these
individual genres specifically. Im actually really only interested in utilizing them (all
those genres) as some of many genre-based stepping stones on the path and journey and
saga of finding my voice. Not theirs. Many an artist attempt (and fail) to conform to one
genre or creator or publisher, or channels style specifically. I dont want to make that
same mistake. Not anymore, and especially not now. I truly do believe in and subscribe to
the Do your own thing industry philosophy. Your own path is the best path, if youre
actually willing to work at it over time, with much diligence, training, faith (in your
abilities) and practice.
Success
In terms of publishing scope and pop culture popularity, Ive already achieved my goal,
so I can move on in terms of that area. Most indie comics audience size is incredibly
small, especially in traditional publishing and print. Its not a get rich quick scheme as
one artist says. My readership figures have already surpassed the readership figures of the
typical indie print comic, purely through pandering to manga and the online crowd in the
beginning. It was a brilliant marketing move to exploit new media in the beginning, when

P a g e | 809

people were first getting into it. Now I have that unmistakable mindshare in thousands of
young readers and artists minds. That in and of itself, of being a hit online is very
rewarding in a YouTube sort of wayFrustrating in a Dave Sim kind of way. But
thats the nature of the market. Im not a failure. Im just not the most popular. People
talk about me all the time, but they all unanimously do it in a certain way, even when
there was never an actual consensus to do such a thing or talk in a certain way. People
just did it, they talked about it in that particular way without being asked or forced to. So
even when the job offers werent there in my own opinion, the free publicity and
positive/negative buzz were, for my face if nothing else. That still counts for something,
if were really being honest with ourselves, which most of us arent. Now that I have one
of the biggest audiences in indie comics historyand I resist even bringing up YouTube
or my likeness in this instance, which are freak occurrences of success in and of
themselvesIm not entirely satisfied. I know, deep down, that despite all my free hype
and marketing exposurewhich most arent privileged toI still want to see how far I
can take my thing and run with it. Theres always more you can do. Theres always more
to be done. And theres always more you can achieve. For a no name loser talent, Ive
actually gotten pretty far, by my own standards, if not the entire entertainment industrys.
While I dont draw as well as the competition when it comes to raw drafting ability much
of the time, I can guarantee Im in for a longer haul than they are. I get started a lot
slower than most, but once Im there, I dont leave until decades later, if ever. I just dont
stop. I never stop once I make a real effort as some call it. Nothing can make me give
up but me when Im in on something, loyally, for the long haul, like Manifesto for
instance, or YouTube, or my anime video collection. Those are Dense, to say the least,
just like me and my soul in generaljust really, really labyrinthine; really, really dense. I
dont stop any job until Ive seen it all the way through, and that goes for the comics too.
Comics are built over time. Not overnight. Also, no one is entitled to success. I used think
I was entitled to my own animated series, for decades on end. Everyday, in the back of
my mind Id tell myself Why dont I have a show yet? Why do those guys have one?
What makes them better than me? Arent I entitled to stake out a claim in animation
like the best of them?? And the answer to that, as it turns out, is No. You arent and
neither is anyone else for that matter. Not unless you can develop patience, a work
system, and the diligence and humility to see it all through to completion. Then well
talk. Of course at the time said answers are given, internally or externally, it always
turns out you never did complete or attain or generally have what is expected of you by
the industry. In the case of YouTube, I actually had what I needed to get started at the
time: Product and good old fashioned know how, and before I knew it, online video
became a multi-billion-dollar big business industry that everyone in Hollywood, anime,
music, and television is now fighting with each other over, all because I was actually
prepared for a business venture for once. I should be so lucky to have preparation of that
scale all the time. But I know thatll never happen, so I make do with otherwise.
Currently, there really isnt any outlet on any particular TV network or programming
block currently, with the capacity to successfully animate a Mono animation of any sort,
without compromising the vision and quality and general entertainment and design value
of course, even in anime, no ones doing anything like it, and chances are no one will for
a long time either. But there is a venue Im safe in: Comics, both online and in print,

P a g e | 810

whether through publishing or self publishing. Probably not Hollywood either, especially
after looking at how badly Frank Miller butchered his own creation in Sin City the movie,
as opposed to doing it the correct way and just animating it with HBO, Adult Swim, or
something. Ive grown more comfortable with the world of publishing ever since I
stopped turning to online communities and the outside world in general for alleged
support. Usually I walk away from that sort of thing feeling more angry and depressed
than anything else. And creatively blocked and unable to pursue any real tangible goals,
which is exactly their problem too! Hey, look! We have something in common! Even if
its just shit they stirred up to begin with. I cant imagine such communities existing in
the actual real business world, other than as a PR stunt like ASMB. And there are always
the parasites that draw parasitic, pointless art. Thats all those people will ever be known
for the rest of their entire life as, being a parasite. I have no desire to end up that way.
Ive come to like living in the Peoples Republic of Florida anyway.
As much as I like animation, Im not concerned about maintaining a place in it all. Im
perfectly happy where I am, here and now, in comics. Im good enough at comics, plus I
have enough control in that area. Im not worried about failing. Ive already succeeded.
But I choose to keep working despite a moderate amount of success. Because thats who I
am. Im by my nature a self-starter. I always have been. Its just more so now.
AND, if I really was as big as so many people said I was at one point, if I really was the
focal point of all that hype in the media, whatever that was about, what the hell was I
doing hanging out in the places I used to hang out at. Those people never really
appreciated me. They were incredibly rude to me, treated me like a doormat just like the
TV people. Why did I even give any of them the time of day or the chance to remember a
single one of them, ever?
Guys with Swords & Cloak-Like Overcoats that Defy Fabric Law is kind of the motif
behind my Mono Design. Kind of longwinded there, but hey, in my mind it works. Its
my motif, and I will continue to follow that motif for a long time to come, even when my
writing goes beyond that. But Ill never stop asking technical questions on paper now. Do
I have to make the blade and handle look three dimensional at my detail, or can I leave
it flat? How much of his cape-like trenchcoat should be blowing in the breeze? How
angular and/or curved should the trenchcoat, its folds, and its outline be? These are
questions Ive never written down before, but Dave Sims old publishing book I tracked
down has really solved some decade old problems for me. The book/comic-esque text is
beyond extensive and in depth. But its a real collectors item. Hard to find anywhere
really. But very worth reading through and studying, intensely. And most importantly, Is
Monos design simple?or detailed? Yes, my art sucks, but how can I continue to
improve it? What can I do to help it other than say it sucks? Doing the former thing
kind of isnt very constructive, no?
----Signal & 2-Way Transmission

P a g e | 811

Pirate Radio
Basement Radio
College Radio
AM Radio
FM Radio
Music Video
Music Television
Pirate TV
Website
Online Video
WebTV
Online Broadcasting
DVD
DVD Ripper
YouTube
On-Air
Broadcast
Pirate Transmission
Pirate Signal
Signal
----When it comes to Jhonenwhile as good as he is at what he does, burned so many
bridges when he went into television and blogging, just like every other comics creator
that goes into televisionwill probably never succeed in the direct market again. Hes
now gone into television, never to be seen in the comic book world again. Hell continue
to be rich, but hell also continue to not succeed in the direct market, the place he
obviously loved in the beginning of his career so much, the place that made him what he
was to begin with, the Dark Comics Thing. He got eaten by a shark.
-----

Just got the proof copy of the preliminary version of Randomosity: Chapter 1 in the mail
from the printers today. The preliminary proof copy is simply titled Comics By JM
Strebler. My comics arent marketable or saleable yet, but they are improving, even with
the preliminary proof copy. Im getting better not just as an artist and writer and creator,
but also as a Publisher, or Self-Publisher. Lulu is an incredibly efficient and inexpensive,
accessible printer. All the pages are glossy and hard to grip from front to back, and the
printing size is too big, and you can see the cleanup lines, BUT at least Im starting to
arrange the pages in terms of panels, and putting some dialogue in there.
My comics publishing history, so far:

P a g e | 812

End Times: Volume 1

End Times: Volume 00
Js Sketchbook: 2010
Comics
Randomosity: Chapter 1

Areas that I need to work on:

Thinking in the language of comics compositions (panels)

Pencilling lightly, and with a mechanical pencil (not heavy-handed ink
stains/scratches)
Cleaning Up Artwork (Fine-Tuning)
Printer Clarity (fewer mistakes)
Erasing mistake lines on sketches (clean-up)
Micro-building pages
Visualizing the lines Im putting down, when Im putting them down

Thats pretty much it for now.

----Thursday, January 06, 2011
Actually managed to get some work done early on today, right around 1 p.m. in the
afternoon. Early midday. I got 9 or so compartmentalized panel compositions done, to do
composition practice, in an effort to train my mind to think compositionally in terms of
word balloons, dialogue, and panels. I drew all close-ups and some medium shots with 2
people in them, similar to compositions Ive already done. Its much easier to think in the
language of panel compositions when youre thinking purely or mostly geometrically,
with circles/ovals (for speech and faces), squares/rectangles (for panels), and whatnot.
All those hours spent looking at my stats on Adsense, I should probably admit could be
better spent on something that actually pays off, as opposed to sitting there like a fucking
log. That something is currently comics composition practice pages. Refining my skills
and racking up my page count to boot, in an effort to reach tangible goals. Im glad Im
starting to realize just how slow and useless banner ads and Adsense are for an
independent media producer like me.
TV Commercials and Newspapers are a dying medium. Theyre incredibly inefficient.
Hardly anyone likes or believes in them anymore. And the entire media of TV
Commercials and Newspapers might not exist 20 years from now, gone the way of
cassette and VHS tapes.
-----

P a g e | 813

I like working for free. I like giving 110%. I like following through and giving it my all
for little to no real reward, vindication, status, financial success, or recognition. That is
my thing. Thats part of my work style. Most comics dont really pay anything at all
really. What, couple hundred dollars earned, 2 thousand copies sold in stores? Big
fucking deal! Im not impressed. Id rather work for nothing or next to nothing than brag
about or attain figures that low. And when it comes to the genre I work in, figures are
indeed that low. If I really wanted numbers, if it was really a numbers game with me, Id
go to YouTube.
----Friday, January 07, 2011
Ive decided since I dont have a good working relationship with pretty much any
publishers, including the ones I hang out with online, Im predicting some experiments
in manga self-publishing in my future.
I like webcomics, and I like publishing. I like manga, I like action, and I like selfpublished artists in comics. So why not combine all 5 of those elements in the long run?
This could turn out to be a brilliant business move on my part. Or maybe at least it could
get me noticed by bigger publishers. I dont really do much doujinshi. But I do selfpublish, and love every minute of it!
Fast-Growing Industries:

Japanese Manga
World Manga
Pan-Asian Manga
Multimedia Manga
Web Manga
Self-Published Manga

And vanity press. Vanity press doesnt really seem like its going to be vain much longer,
if my hunch is right.
Publishing / Marketing Strategy

Randomosity. Build pages, pencilling lightly, cleaning up artwork, inking,

revising/editing.
Develop comics script. Layout Script. Start and Finish Manuscript pages.
(Randomosity)
Finish manuscript for 2-5 completed Graphic Novels that are 50-200 pages each,
with each chapter being in the 20 to 30 page range.
Self-Publish the manuscripts through web

P a g e | 814

Submit finished books locally to the nearest shop

Submit printed manuscripts to a comic book agent (with cover letter)
Join with a Larger Publisher
---Manga I want to read and buy with next available paycheck:

Claymore
Psyren
Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds
One Piece
Black Butler
Trigun
Nabari No Ou
Soul Eater
Nura: Rise of the Yukai Clan
Priest
-----

Im falling behind in my manga and anime reading and viewing material from stores,
while Im catching up in my art studies. Ive done around 40 pages of sequential
composition layouts in less than 1 week!!! And it wasnt even a close call in terms of the
deadline. Thats less than 7 DAYS!!! A new record!!! Im fast! Damn! If Im able to go
so fast I can produce 40 layouts in a week, how many pages will I have in a year from
now, in January of next year, when Ive done a years worth of work. It may be a lot of
pages, but there is a lot of ground left to cover, a lot of source material left to study and
draw doujinshi from, and a lot of pages, lines, pencil mileage to go until I reach a number
even higher than 40 pages of composition practice pages.
Damn. Comics is getting to be too easy for me to draw pages for, in terms of layouts. Its
turning into something thats like breathing or watching TV, or writing. Its not even a
challenge anymore. Im the opposite of intimidated by it. Whatever the opposite of
scared, intimidated and fatigued is, that is how I feel about drawing comics. I can do 40
pages with my eyes closed. So. Fucking. Easy!! Not a challenge anymore. BECAUSE I
understand the structure beneath, or at least Im starting to. Butit may be getting easier,
but Ive still got some areas that need work, and Ive still got decades to go until Im
where I want to be. Im on the first week of the first year, with 40 pages of rough
composition practice pages. I cant even fathom how much work Ill have completed 20
years from now.
I dont actually want to be a manga. That would probably be going overboard. But I do
want to take influence from the style. I do admire it quite a bit. Visually its beautiful, and
the storytelling is so visceral and involving! I love that! But being a manga is grueling
work, of which I could never measure up, at least in Japan anyway. In America Im good,

P a g e | 815

but in Japan Id be nothing. They would not be sympathetic to my visual style. Theyd
hate me. Id be a speck of dust. I just wouldnt be able to compete. Theyd laugh at my
attempts. Throw knives at it, slice it up with samurai swords, and gracefully I might add.
They probably hate me that much, all because Im involved in the manga industry in a
roundabout way. Many of them already do hate me from what theyve seen of me on the
web. But the web lies. Oh well. Some things you learn to live with. The Japanese are not
big on intrusiveness and interference into their culture. They believe they, and only they,
should solve their own problems. A very autonomous culture. And I have no plans to
cross such a line anytime soon. Im smarter than that. But I can make regular comics with
Asian influence. I could never hire an Asian. Theyd view me with much ill will if they
met me directly. Theyd probably view me as a pretentious, nerd. An overeager tyrant
and intrusive. It would be DeviantART all over again, except on a much grander scale, an
industry wide scale. It would be an epic culture clash, of which I have no desire to be a
part of. I just wanna draw comics! Please just let me draw! Im not a good diplomat. My
creative nature is too masculine, aggressive, and militant for the Japanese to ever truly
accept. I have no plans to stir up the waters in that fashion. I value my life. Thanks.
And why am I supposed to be a comedy American cartoon character AND an anime
protagonistat the same time? Its like both sides are fighting and want to claim me as
their own. I cannot be a double agent. I pick anime. I wouldnt be surprised if comedy
still tried to latch on to me and act like a parasite sucking my blood though.
Some people compare adoption to slavery.
And some compare psych wards to jails.
Having experienced both those things, I still dont feel qualified to speak up about them.

Markets to Tap Into

The Direct Market (Comics)

The Home Electronics Market (TVs)
The Silicon Valley Market (Bill Gates)
The Bookstore Market (Tokyopop, Viz, Graphic Novels, Stephen King)
The Home Box Office Market (DVD)
The Online Entertainment Market (YouTube, DA, WCN)
-----

My most powerful allies:

Perspective
Discipline and Diligence
Dual Wielding and Trenchcoats
Katsuhiro Otomo and Dave Sim

P a g e | 816

Online Technology
DVD and digital video

Hollywood and Japan. In entertainment, theyre two allies you want to have. Theyre
magic.
Hollywood and Japan are known for making mere mortals appear as though they were
Gods. Japan and Hollywood are in the business of thaumaturgy: Making Miracles
Happen.
Anime-Manga are thaumaturgy in America. Theyre bona-fide Magic. A real subtle
mystery. An illusion. Surrounded by shadows and secrets.
----Im one of the most inventive, innovative Gothic Fighting Comics-Manga Artists, in the
world. Scratch that. Im one of the only artists of that variety in the world. Matrix aside,
Goths arent known for fighting. And Fighters arent known for being Gothic, but my
work says differently. I ask, Hey, why not bring the two elements together for the sake of
fantasy, mythology, and action.
Now I know why I dont like Hitler Jr. (Brian). Everything youre not supposed to do in
the media and in society. Every line youre not supposed to cross, he crossed. Every rule
there is, he broke. All for the sake of being an obnoxious prick sociopath who threw his
life away on purpose.
Wait a second. This wasnt like it used to be. How did my likeness end up being shown
on TV every 5 seconds, almost like the likeness itself is TV filler currently? How did my
face get so much more recognizable than my career or myself? How did I get so iconic to
the media? My likeness. Its highly talked about. Some people love my likeness, others
dont.
I definitely want the Mono Stories, at least in terms of literature, to feel historical and
literary, not just artsy, designy, and futuristic. I want New Earth to have a sense of an
evolving and documented geology and geography. I want the sense of place to really be
noticeable. Every good book has a world to notice, not just characters and events.
I dont want to do things like become affluent and have sex. If I ever had sex or had a lot
of money, everybody would know! Everyone would find out, and some might even try to
use that information against me maliciously, like they do all the time now, even when
technically Im not even doing anything and I dont even interact with anyone outside of
my family.
Today must be my lucky day. Im finally free from the clutches of that evil, evil site,
DeviantART. No longer am I a subscriber or even a member. They actually have an
account deactivation option now which allows one to deactivate ones account

P a g e | 817

instantly. But why the fuck hadnt they added that to begin with. I would have left a long,
long time ago if I had known about that. I have no reason to rant about how said evil site
is discouraging me and trying to shit on and hinder or debilitate my work, because I am
no longer associated with said evil site. I feel more pure already, just knowing Im no
longer linked to that horrible, horrible art site. Its a load off of my mind. I wondered if
theyd ever let me go, if I ever would escape and get back to being prolific and ingenious
like usual.
Ill probably be a lot more productive. Ill have been peace of mind. Less distracted,
stressed, and frustrated. I can just focus on art and not give a damn about competition
anymore, because it wont be directly near me anymore. And Ill still have a lot of sites
left over to visit.
----Idiot fuckers will always try to come along and exploit, or at the very least, abuse and
take advantage of the areas of my life I have no control over, or very little control over.
Its some peoples way of attempting to play God with other peoples lives. The fact that
you have trouble controlling it means you tend to find it hard to defend those areas of
your life. Thats the way the fans and cyberbullies are: Opportunistic in the worst
possible way.
Regular TV and channel surfing doesnt really exist during the day. Since its all pretty
unwatchable, it pretty much doesnt exist in this life anymore as a result. Its gone
extinct. Roku, YouTube, and ripped DVD marathon viewings, here I come.
Most people who show any kind or influence from me on the web or TV or whatever do
so in a parodic, negative, and mocking, like theyre disgusted to be acting like
someone as lowly as Joe, even though Im still attempting to be like him nonetheless.
Even when they really are trying to be just like me. Some people really dont know how
to hide their interest in and obsession with me, whether its the black curly hair or the
black rectangular glasses. Kind of a hypocritical thing to do, considering they seem to
like me so much. Oh well. I dont know who these people are off camera and I never will.
Thank God for that. Its bad enough listening to them for the five seconds that each of
them is on camera.
To my family and friends, and in private, Im all hero. But in terms of my public persona,
they seem to have made me into this folk anti-hero kind of figure. A guy who breaks
rules and gets tempted by evil, yet still does the right and noble thing the majority of the
time. Or so the legend goes. The folk anti-hero is the bad guy in most peoples eyes.
Favorite recent manga? Billy-Bat.
Much as I hate to admit it, Im a media personality. Celebrity or not, people are aware of
my persona. And my general look is becoming more and more common, despite being in
a racial and cultural minority (multiracial). I have a personality people have come to

P a g e | 818

know, indirectly, and I have a likeness people have become accustomed to. My likeness
actually feels common to me now. The worlds changing I guess. I used to be used to no
one really looking anything like me, or little kids thinking he looks funny upon seeing
me. I guess it is kind of pointless trying to hide behind my books. I guess I am a
performer in some ways, like an actor, musician, or someone. Ive never done any acting
work, and although I can play a solid drum lick, I do a terrible job of acting or voice
acting. I really dont have a desire to pursue something Im not any good at. But I can
respect a solid performance from any performer, be they actor, musician, public speaker,
or host. I can appreciate a good personality. To this day I dont know what my
personality style is.
When it comes to sword poses, every artist nowadays borrows from somebody.
LucasFilm borrows from me and Genndy with The Clone Wars. I borrow from things
like Zatoichi, Shaw Bros films, Samurai Jack, Frank Frazettas work (R.I.P.), the ongoing
manga series by Hiroaki Samura: Blade of the Immortal, and How to Draw Manga:
Samurai Action Scene Collection
Ive developed a new technique. I call it sword gesture drawings, where I draw nothing
but a stick figures arms, shoulders, and upper torso, adjusted around whichever direction
the figure is holding a sword. I focus on how the sword is being held by the stick figure,
then if that part turns out okay, the rest of the drawing is fleshed out
Then theres practice comics layouts and composition gestures, where I focus on basic
geometry and shapes.
So heres my secret techniques:

Sword Gesture Drawing

Panel Composition Practice
Sword-Slinging Shows (Western):

Samurai Jack
Star Wars: The Clone Wars

These are the two shows, inspired by samurai and placing an emphasis on utilizing
swords, in the history of TV animation, that are American made, and come the closest to
doing what I want to do (with swords). Good poses, good duels and battles, good sword
posture design. However, Samurai Jack and Star Wars are both computer enhanced
animation. Fortunately for me, neither really tries for a contemporary anime aesthetic the
way other subcontractor inspired shows like Oban Star-Racers and Teen Titans do. In
terms of swords, Im doing something innovative and new and awesome. Something in
both comics and animation in the West, thats never been done before. Thank god for my
How to Draw Manga: Samurai pose book. There are well over 1-200 poses with swords
in that book. Way too many images to draw in one day.

P a g e | 819

The interesting part is, Ive browsed Google, and it basically seems like theres a lot more
artists writing about swordfights than actually drawing them. And if they do attempt to
draw it, its mostly basic fanart, nothing just made up.
Masterminds are coordinators. Coordination is organization of systems and phenomena
as well as order; placement and arrangement and construction of things.

Things I like to coordinate:

Business and Marketing Plans.

Fictional martial arts and sword fights (choreography of violent motion)
Narration, Narrative, and Narrative Science
Storytelling
Camera Shot Sequence
Cinematography
Websites
Home Electronics Inventions
Camera Editing
Rhythm
Music and sound mixing
Animation and Comic Book Production
Comic Page and Panel arrangement and composition
Script Format

Reminder: 3 Main Ingredients to Comics Storytelling

Motion (camera cuts) / Panels

Action, Fighting, Motion, Dialogue
People, Props
Location

Camera Shots / Panels: 70 pages

People: 14 pages
Location, Production Design, Detailing: 30 pages
Fighting: 23
Total Number of pages for all 4 elements:
Around 137 pages put into this 4-Ingredient Goal
-----

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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Okay. I think thats enough for now. I now have the raw configuration of my comic
books form all down on paper. All 137 pages of it. I have the rough bible and production
guide for my Script, Story Production Design, Panel Composition, Fighting and
Choreography, and Character/Prop Design, all in one folder. The basic structure and
coordination / organization of my series, the Mythic Storytelling Structure, is all down on
paper
White pen ink/paint on black paint/paper effect:
Used to create cyberpunk animation film backgrounds:
Used in:
Akira
Blade Runner
Batman: The Animated Series
Gundam Wing (preview, episodes)
Priest
Ghost in the Shell (all film/TV projects)
Karas
Cerebus Covers (Gerhard)
Method:
Take a white ink pen and draw building lights, lighting on a black surface (ink covered
paper, black construction paper, scanned in black and white with white ink.
The closest thing America has to replicating an actual Japanese anime character designer
is its industry of world manga creator-artists, who create OCs or original characters
and create their own characters they make a story up about themselves. People like me.
The ones who do what I do. Id have moved to Japan to be a Japanese character
designer a long time ago, if only such a thing were possible. Because its not I do the next
closest thing: Create and draw model sheets for anime-influenced animation and comics,
as well as storyboards, and create, design and draw manga-influenced comic book pages
for indie and alternative comics. Indie and alternative comics can often easily pass as
manga at places like Oni Press and Tokyopop nowadays, if the editors like it, and the
aesthetics of design are close enough that Id say yeah, that technically passes as
American anime, or at least the blueprints (i.e. series bible) for one.
I watch anime, and I read manga and superheroes and alternative comics and sciencefantasy literature (illustrated and non), and what I put down on paper is a reflection of
what I see on paper and screen made by other people every day. Is it fantasy? Yes. Is it
manga? Yes. Is it anime and anime-influenced? Yes. Am I going to attempt to sell it to
the Japanese market and anime fans. Doubtful. Unless theyre interested of course, which
right now theyre not. But regardless of any of that, Im still doing my thing regardless.

P a g e | 821

The Mono thing. Mono is like Star Wars. Star Wars and anime are both out there, but
does Star Wars suddenly try to conform to the so called bug eyed super attractive look
of anime, just because anime is a hit and a growing industry? No. Star Wars is still Star
Wars. Cerebus is still Cerebus. Conan is still Conan. Sin City is still Sin City. Spawn is
still Spawn. At the end of the day, your thing is your thing. Trends and growth industries
dont really change that if your concept has any real strength behind it. You dont change
and alter your baby just because the market has to adjust or correct itself.
----I do like classic English literature. Not just Lord of the Rings either. I also am huge on
such writers as Michael Moorcock, and Im also very inspired by Arthurian Legend. Its
only natural that Id end up a writer with British heritage, living in the American
Southeast. To me, British authors and writers are some of the greatest in the world, to say
nothing of all the other European authors and writers: From Terry Gilliam to John
Lennon and Paul McCartney. Britain has History and Culture, and Im very inspired by
such things. Lets not forget Shakespeare and Charles Darwin either, or Sigmund Freud
for that matter. However, I do tend to prefer keeping the work I reference current, in
order to keep my edge. I do seem to have a natural flair for linguistics and mythopoeia
though.
----Im the main member of the Planning Committee behind Parallax. Well, actually, Im the
only member of the Planning Committee behind Parallax. So far anyway. That could
change depending on my level of success. But Ive done a whole bunch of strategic
planning to improve the efficiency of my comic book execution. Its the whole reason
Ive purchased so many book on strategy in the first place. If youre going to do anything
comic or animation-related thats intelligible, you need a plan. You need strategic
planning. Heres some books I do own:

Beyond Strategic Vision: Effective Corporate Hoshin Plannin

Strategic Planning for Dummies
Executing Your Strategy: How to Break It Down and Get It Done
Thinking Strategically: The Competitive Edge in Business, Politics, and Everyday
Life

Main comic book questions Im still working out strategic solutions for:

How to transform written script into drawn, inked, and lettered page.
How to time, pace, transition, and sequentially draw the panels of each chapter,
and each page so it syncs up with the chapter format(s).

Solution:

Panel Layouts

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Randomosity
Visual Script
Thumbnails
Flow Charts (Storyboards)
-----

So far I have enough to start with as far as the basics are concerned. Character designs,
Comics Pages, Action Poses, Script, Fighting Artwork, and Location or Production
Design. Ive done enough to call it a start. I should start copying from the blueprints
and emulating them, stop worrying about adding more archetypes and just duplicate
the archetypes I have created, adding details and layering as I go. Blueprints and
prototypes are meant to be copied from.
My series bible-blueprints are where I really get to put my planning skills as a visionaryArchitect-Mastermind-Scorpio-Master-Builder to work. I dont know if it will get me any
women, but it will certainly eventually get me ahead in life. Im Building my Strategic
Planning Committee Blueprints, Page by Laborious, Labyrinthine Page.
How does one pace and visually narrate or film an individual graphic novel manga
chapter is one of the hardest, most complex questions Ive had to ask myself in a while.
Prerequisites to working at this level include:

Drawing a comic book page in and of itself

Lettering
Establishing camera shots, story, and dialogue
Establishing panel compositions in each panel

Theres True Honor in not being acknowledged. True Honor in not being noticed or
recognized. Everyone roots for the underdogs. No one really likes the celebrity freaks
(aka Not me) all that much, because no one can relate to them. Theyre not one of us as
the old saying goes. Money, drugs, and fame dont take your misery away. They never
do. I want power without the fame that goes with it. In a way I have that, or at the very
least Im starting to. Im starting to draw my comics at my old pace again, meaning
whenever the fuck I well feel like it, fuck the market. I dont work around the markets
schedule. I work around my own schedule, and so do my stories I tell.
I have more raw creative power sitting in a giant stack on my office desk than most
people will ever know. And Ive still got a long time to go until I can retire and come
back 10 years later. Welcome to the world of publishing, I guess.
There are a LOT of stoplight spy cameras in Central Florida locally speaking, and I mean
a lot. Smile, you just hit a red light. Oh well. Big Brother doesnt bug me that much.

P a g e | 823

P a g e | 824

Chapter 31

P a g e | 825

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Im overdue to find new friends. I really should make some new friends. But Im
completely unpopular. I really do want to make new friends. Ive always wanted to do
that. But my options are kind of limited. I never argue with my real friends. I dont know
how normal that is, but Im never argumentative when it comes to the friends I know
personally. We never argue about anything. Far as Im concerned, if we argued all the
time, then we wouldnt be friends, would we. I dont have any friend-enemies in real
life the way Andrew does with the people he knows all the time. I actually have good
relationships with the friends I know. Its hard to find new friends that fit my standard of
friendship (cooperative, supportive, quiet, friendly, and peaceful) when so many enemies
are in hiding, just waiting to start a fight with me. The Viacoms of the world. They treat
me the opposite of how my friends do. Family and friends are not the same thing in my
book. Everyone knows how hateful my relationship with my brother has been in the past.
Its been one of the most hateful, unpleasant relationships Ive ever been in. Not even a
relationship. Family are not friends. You get along with friends. You are afraid to argue
with friends. Well, I am, out of fear of losing the privilege of their brilliant company, and
the wonderful conversations I have with them. Im not afraid of hating on my parents and
brother. Thats no secret. But how just how good and supportive and friendly and
humorous of a relationship I have with my oldest friends from childhood is typical of just
how good my best relationships are. I get along with Donna that well. Shes a friend. Ive
known her for a few years now. Good friend. Shes like the female equal of Phil, my
other teacher. And then theres Lindsey Vest.
OK, so Ive done a 500 page manuscript of not-so-cleaned-up sloppy work. I would
suppose that the next logical step would be to continue on in the path my career is headed
in, and go for another 500 pages of what would be work that becomes increasingly more
refined over time, then another 20 up to 500, and then another 20 up to 500 and just keep
repeating myself. Get it down to a 20 to 30 year comic book routine of simple, sucky, but
still innovative art, until Ive told all the narrative comics story there is to tell.
Friday, January 14, 2011
I really, really hate young people who think You are what you watch, listen to, or read.
Who started that whole psycho-social movement anyway? Someone needs to kill that
movement: Its one big teenage lie, thought up by what is most likely in-crowd,
conservative teenagers on the web. People are not so easy to figure out that you can say
Because you watch show A, you live lifestyle A. Are there really people out there who
are this stupid?
Jesus Christ. I hate nerd know-it-alls. Thats the truth. No one living in this country at my
level knows anything about the technical aspects of the Japanese animation and comic
book making process. So why even try to conform to that industry? Theres really no
reason to. Im best off sticking to what I actually know, which is American animation,
even if it sucks, and even if Im jealous of Japanese design. I can work to make my
design suck less.

P a g e | 826

-----Sunday, January 16, 2011

My type of engineering / Research and Development is a very special brand of
engineering and research and development, involving computers, TV, home electronics,
the internet, digital video signals, DVD authoring, DVD ripping, and multicasting.
My career has lasted 5 years so far, and doesnt show any signs of slowing or failure.
I give it the codename wire-crossing, or signal crossing. Its a new brand of invention
and technological experimentation. Its my entire career of the last 5 years, summed up,
since Ive been wire-crossing and signal crossing since 2005, when I first started
experimenting with downloaded video files from an early and popular Toonami video
fansite, and also DVD-authoring.
Wire-crossing is a codename that refers to finding nonlinear and undiscovered purposes
for pre-existing digital & electronic technology devices, such as HDMI cables, DVD
recorders/rippers, DVD authoring software, etc., etc.
I am going to file a patent for all my tech ideas eventually. Im going to find a patent
attorney when I get the money and apply for a patent with the United States Patent and
Trademark Office for each and every one of my tech ideas. I might do the same with my
creative ideas as well. But if none of my creative ideas work out, at least I can still call
myself a real life inventor. Im a new brand of genius. A genius for a new generation, of
the future. I guess you could call me a rogue inventor. But then again, a lot of young
inventors are rogues and go rogue.
Potential Yearly Salary Range (Inventor) for me:
Low
$1-$10
$100-$10,000
Medium
$20,000-$80,000
High Range:
$100,000-$500,000
$1 million-$50 million
$100 million-$500 million
$1 billion-$10 billion

P a g e | 827

$50 billion-$100 billion

Being a TV personality, artist, designer, webmaster, or writer doesnt pay.
Being a technologist, entrepreneur, and inventor does.
Honestly, all I really want to be, all Ive really wanted to be all along this entire time Ive
been working in media, is to be the behind the scenes Builder, Titan, and Mastermind
who works secretly, in mostly isolation, and works very, very hard for long hours and
spans of time, finding new ways to make life better for people, whether its the internet or
anything else technological. And boy do I have a lot of ideas!!
For all I know, depending on how I progress, I might end up leaving showbusiness
entirely. Well on an emotional, psychological, and legal level at least. If people in
showbusiness honestly dont want me to be a part of showbusiness, I could care less.
They can have their fucking pathetic as hypercompetitive and tyrannical wish. Fuck em.
Ive got about 50,000 better ways and 2.3 million other hobbies to consume my time. I
dont need the entertainment industry. More like the other way around.
My showbusiness and animation/comics peers are kind of very ignorant of the technology
I engineer that seems to permeate the online mainstream. That definitely cuts down on
the competitor and competition factor. This isnt going to be a free-for-all anyone-cando-it-too situation for much longer. Its kind of like inventing your own code language.
No one else but me understands the art and science of cross-wiring. YouTube is good, but
clearly theres a huge lack of knowledge on both professionals and amateurs parts in
terms of how to create video footage in the first place, because it seems to be a handful of
clips uploaded by the original people who knew how. In other words, a lot of it is clip
swiping and copycatting. Nothing wrong with that, but its too bad there arent people
like me who know how to make up tons of hours of footage on the spot. But what was
created for YouTube in its later inception has gone a long way. Its like a treasure chest.
Its a valuable online commodity, and people really never seem to get tired of it, upon
further inspection. Even right now as I write this people are watching those clips
numerous times. One video goes a long way on YouTube, whether its created by
corporate engineers or amateur ones.
I am kind of a software-mastermind. Im a software concept designer.
Now that I think about it, I have a whole long list of invention ideas Im just itching to
develop further with R&D. I dont think I want to be a 1-YouTube man, now that I think
about it.
It was probably a few years back when I started feeling emotional disillusionment about
animation, comics, or anime and manga and their role in pop culture, as well as the
little community that supports them. How dysfunctional it all is. The politics and
monopoly of it all. Took me a while to learn that I wasnt exactly playing against
competitors in a fair fight. Quite the opposite. And even up till the end (which is still

P a g e | 828

something I hesitate to say), I didnt realize that even the nastiest assholes on the internet
are still, deep down on some level, competing for the exact same prizes good apples and
professionals are: Money, sex whores and groupies, popularity, business decisions, love
of the sport and game, power, fame, your own show, your own comic series, your own
anime, your own manga, access, status, a job, a career, celebrity, influence,
connections, and friends. Everyone in the community is striving for the same goals. But
some in the time Ive been able to sit back and watch a lot of people approach these
goals, have gone about obtaining such goals in a very inefficient, ineffective way.
Somehow, somewhere along the road to success, a LOT of artists (mostly, not many
writers) got disillusioned and lost when they realized they couldnt have what they want,
or wanted. A lot of people, kids mostly, are competing for a very limited supply of
resources. Its not like YouTube where the game is more or less fair and even (big
shocker there!) and most there have to start with nothing like everyone else, and build
from it.
Its best to bail out of the disillusionment of anime now, while I still have my pride and
dignity left. No one made me choose this decision. It was my decision, a personal
decision, a conclusion and act I choose and came to myself. Other people can try to claim
they influenced it to make themselves look good, but the truth is no one makes
decisions about my career but me. Yet anyway. When the medium/media/project/public
politics of whatever field Im working in is getting too volatile, unfriendly, and generally
nasty with poor sportsmanship: Thats just about always the time I choose to make my
exit and move on. When I get too fed up with the people hanging out beside me and no
longer want to be associated with them, either because theyre rude, egomaniacal, amoral
and nasty, OR because they dont play fair or want to take all the credit that belongs
partially or entirely to me. Thats what happened with DA: Too much inappropriate
conduct for my tolerance level.
So if you approach animation to naively and innocently, like I did in my youth, I
eventually realized the fantasy and illusion and joy and excitement or idealism I had in
my head about it in the beginningwas JUST THAT: fantasy, joy, excitement, and
idealism I had in my head. The real industry is a lot more belittling, rude, harsher, and
cynical than that. Its a bad idea getting into comics and animation nowadays expecting it
to be all friendly and perfect and cute, etc., and all those other animation industry
friendly John-K-DOUG-90s-neo40s-animation-Saturday-Morning Disney Feature
idealist animator stereotypes. Things my old friend Phil was the embodiment of, early
on anyway. The old Nickelodeon and all that. Things change. The industrys changed.
Its meaner, more cynical, more business oriented, tougher now. The current status quo
will probably attempt to not only undermine you, but entirely destroy you for thinking
that way. The idealist male-dominated community animator way. That way of making
of looking at animation has vanished and been replaced by its evil cousin. Its opposite in
many ways. It took me a long time to learn (10 years, mostly because no one was there to
teach me) that its not technically or really my responsibility to preserve that noble, cute,
funny, American, and genuinely kind and friendly traditional aspect American animation,
or feature or television animation in general for that matter. John Lasseter (aka the New
Walt Disney), one industry veteran whos philosophy on animation I have always spoke

P a g e | 829

the gospel of, is a good example of a man who has the power and experience to preserve
that sacred aspect of our industry. Ive gotten into so much trouble, people rarely
associate me with such idealism and innocence anymore, in spite of my best efforts as an
independent artist. But somewhere along the way, I also got caught up in the Time
Warner and Jhonen schools of animation philosophy (very different in nature from the
John Lasseter scripture and philosophy, obviously. It was really draining, the internal
struggle I endured in the last ten years, being called by and trying to make amends
between those two schools, that obviously hate each other deep down in some way
(though theyd never say that publicly or directly. I know its true though.). Its like
Marvel vs. DC or manga and alternative press vs. superheroes, or Disney vs. anime, or 2D animation vs. 3-D animation, or Microsoft vs. Apple, or 4Kids vs. good anime, Ancient
industry rivalries as old as the sun that encourage you, as an informed animator/producer,
to take sides in the intellectual insider debate. But I never wanted to take this or that side.
I always said to myself, Why cant I like them all? Why do I have to follow one
clique/company and not the other, Or, better yet, start my own production philosophy
(even better!). And in reality, I did just that.
This quality animation is backed by great voice acting, ranging from Mark Hamill to
the original Space Ghost, Gary Owens, and Tress MacNeille and, well, the obvious Jim
Cummings, Rob Paulsen, and Frank Welker (obvious, because of their inclusion in
pretty much everything from this era). They support Charlie Adler and Barry Gordon,
who voice the leads.
Toonzone Swat Kats Review Excerpt
They seem to have been replaced by people like Tom Kenny, Steve Blum, Wendee Lee,
Phil Hartman, Donny Dante Brasco, Kari Walgreen, Grey Delisle, Seth MacFarlane,
George Lowe, Nicole Sullivan, Mike Judge, Johnny Yong Bosch, Crispin Freeman,
Kirby Morrow, and of course Canadian new school voice actors like Scott McNeil,
Chiara Zanni, Kirby Morrow, and Sam Vincent. I know Im leaving some out.
Oh yes, I do know my voice actors too.
Theyre all just ubiquitous reflections of their era, kind of like me as a pundit in some
ways, except Im not really a voice actor. Im more of a critic, writer, scientist, and artist.
But I can really appreciate what all those guys do.
Signed up for the Toonzone forum. Maybe Ill actually be able to stay there this time:
Anime-Technocrat is my name. They never bothered to send me a confirmation email.
Im considering hiring martial arts veterans and experts to consult with and give real life
martial arts input into my fighting sequences, whether animated or in sequential art
format. Maybe both. Like a real life cinematic fight choreographer, like Woo-Ping Yuen,
except someone else other than Yuen Woo-Ping. Someone up there near his level, whose
less expensive and doesnt need as much attention. Yuen strikes me as the kind of fight
choreographer who would be at a Jackie Chan or Jet Li level of high maintenance. Or so

P a g e | 830

Ive read/watched/heard, etc. The guy who I have in mind seems low-key and humble
enough. Hes following my tweets, which is great for my rep!
I now have fast and generally faster access to info on the subjects I write a bout. Thanks
for making Smart Tags Microsoft! I can Wiki various lesser known information topics in
under 10 to 20 seconds merely by right clicking it. I can stay even more current. GREAT
Research tool
------My creative productivity style, my writing style especially, does have a specific DNA
blueprint and rhythm. Im not actually really a marathon runner, other than
retrospectively, once Ive been working for a long time and reflecting or looking back.
The rhythm of my creativity manifests itself in and exists in short bursts. Its the same
rhythm as an epistolary style. Epistolary narrative, by nature is stop and go.

[Paragraph]
[Space]
[Paragraph]
[Space]
[Paragraph]
[Space]
I work for 1 to 20 minutes at a time, on average, I work about 8 or so minutes at a time,
mostly to pass the time. Im an epistolary literature stop-and-go kind of guy. I should see
if I can make this stop-and-go technique work for my sketching and art as well. Do a little
at a time. Save your pennies and the dollars add up. Save your sketches and the comics
panels add up.
My work has become so bleak. No wonder I keep sticking my nose in colorful, soft, and
gentle and sentimental stuff, with a few exceptions. My work is often so bleak it
depresses even me at times. I need an escape from having to stare at that all day. At times
I do like bleak, just not all day long. I am a daytime person after all.
Oh wait thats right I forgot. Childrens programming characters dont actually know
how to fight! I totally forgot that!
-----

P a g e | 831

My successTis an odd thing. Ive never been able to explain it completely, what works
about it and what doesnt. If I knew that, Id probably be able to figure out a way to make
money off of it, and everyone would instantly copy that method or technique, with the
majority of those attempts being shortsighted and inevitably failing. Many in the media
have tried to sum up my success, without crediting me for it of course. And we all know
that old schtick never gets old. My success is deep, ancient, intelligent, non-superficial,
and above all ubiquitous and complex. No one liner or two liner on any cable or
broadcast network can ever sum something like that up. Its like trying to summarize a
Wikipedia page, distilling all the depth of its historic or business story to its essence.
People will always try to figure out the instant secret to success. But as long as people
will try with anything other than common sense and ancient wisdom (like good things
come to those who wait, or a watched pot never boils) if someone doesnt use the famous
quotes that apply to everyone to summarize it, they will fail to summarize it. There really
arent very many verbs involved in my success or failure story, and thank god for that.
Those ones with a couple verbs are always the most simplistic, the ones people always
cite in their articles. Thats not me.
Most of my fighting drawings are based around the foundational fundamentals of fighting
on paper: Punches and kicks, while standing, walking, running, or flying.
----In terms of my career, I play a dual role in my life. Maybe more than one. On one side, I
am a lighthearted and spiritual creative, who loves making action and stylized comics and
animation, and publishing his creative thoughts and projects on the internet. On the other
side, I am an inventor, an architect of business, a technologist, and a scientist. I
conceptualize computer and technology components from thin air in my private
notebooks, and will one day make more of an effort to get legal representation and sell
those ideas, assuming I can save up enough to pay for attorney fees on my future prepaid
credit card.
---I get a lot of attention as an inventor. It wasnt until I realized how much some people in
the tech and science community like and respect me that I realized something. Scientists
take care of one another. Scientists are like artists. We like to form our little communities
and stick together. Dare I say martial arts are a little similar in nature too? Artists love
other artists. Writers and scientists love other writers and scientists. And martial artists
love other martial artists. Its the nature of the field. We all admire one another, and its
all sunshine and rainbows with us. Birds of a Feather and all that.
-----As much as I envy the Japanese market, and in a way, in the back of my mind want
desperately to be allowed to participate in it, Im also aware its one of the hardest
markets in the world to participate in. My overabundant seemingly lazy demeanor

P a g e | 832

probably disgusts. I work hard by U.S. standards. America understands how hard I work.
No one in America calls me lazy, or China for that matter. BUT, Japan doesnt really
understand my passion and work ethic. Some people in Japan seem to think I have no real
passion for my work or audience at all, which is just not true. Sometimes I just wish my
work was more acceptable by Japanese standards. Well, Tezukas heir, OTOMO likes
me. I consider him a friend, but not everyone in Japan thinks like OTOMO. Actually,
from what Ive read, his actual real power on both the Japanese and America and
European market is a rarity. Books like Bleach and Naruto have probably sold a lot more
than Akira worldwide though, even if their actual visuals arent as powerful. My
backgrounds are straight out of OTOMO, and my fight sequences are straight out of
various anime and classic Hong Kong cinema.

The Great Masters:

Dave Sim Words, Story
OTOMO Backgrounds, Architecture, SF, Effects
Akira Toriyama / M. Kishimoto Fighting
Y. Nightow, McFarlane Fabric Design
----ART NOTES: Just discovered Anatomical Foreshortening today. For the first time ever, I
am drawing fighting and anatomy in extreme perspective.
My favorite academic manga tutorial teacher in Japan, other than Yasuhiro Nightow,
would have to be Hikaru Hayashi, author of many of the How to Draw Manga: Fighting
books.
----200 pgs. x 4 to 5 panel drawings per page = 800 to 1,000 drawings per book.50 is a good
start, but I still have at least 700 to 900 pages to go until Ive actually got some material I
can work with. Ive got a LOT of work left to do.
----Man, every time I work at sketching, Im constantly trying to push the limits of what I
can do and just plain exaggerate that pose to the utmost extreme. Every time I draw, Im
telling myself in the back of my mind, make it more dynamic, more foreshortened, more
extreme more exaggerated, more intense and masculine-aggressive, to the point of
defying the comprehensions of my audience and readership. Its a test of tolerance to see
what I can tolerate and how far I can take it. My drawing sessions are getting to the point
of being so heavy handed and aggressive and masculine its becoming borderline insane
good. Or bad?

P a g e | 833

---Damn. Im so young for what I do! So young! So talented. So experienced for such a
young age. Ive written over 3 books by the age of 26, and created concepts for a
webcomic, a regular (and manga) comic, and an animated (anime co-production) series.
And Ive written for a TV show, all before I reached the age of 27. Ive produced an
independent film that was a hit on the internet, and contributed to some of YouTubes
most successful years. Im also an inventor and an avid self-publisher. Im not short in
the status and accomplishment or brains department. Im kind of a child prodigy actually.
Ive done some things people dont even get around to doing until theyre in at least their
30s and 40s. The only professions I havent done yet that I want to do would be TV
producer, screenwriter, and maybe TV animated series director. But I need to work my
way up to those titles. I can produce materiel if I want, but it wont go anywhere if its not
any good.
You know, I am young and inexperienced, so Im sure thats factored into some of my
past curse-word-laden rants. But I wrote that way because I was a teenager and young
adult, a young person so I forgive me!
----Theres been a medical research and psychology breakthrough in the psychology and
mental health scientific research community, or in small groups, of a new scientific
medical and Aspergers centric medical condition, called caetextia, a new buzz term in
the scientific community, which basically means one is blind to perceptual context. What
this means exactly, science and psychology is still figuring out. Caetextia also often
implies a person who has equal among right and left brain (or right-left brain) access.
That means if you have caetextia, youre both a detail oriented and big picture thinker. It
also means you have the potential to be both good at words and images. Most people
only have one side of dominant access to the brain, right or left. Caetextia-centric
thinkers mostly have equal access to both sides. So theyre drawing and writing and
theorizing on both the right and left sides of the brain. This would explain how I can
watch or listen to something very adult and very cynical then turn around and watch or
listen to something very innocent, colorful and childish, not more than 2 to 3 minutes
later. It explains how theres so much variety in my writing themes/topics, and in my web
accounts.
Caetextia might explain a lot of things. It might explain why my style and philosophy and
projects encompass so much. Why everything I do is genre-bending! Why I like being
empathic and psychic so much. Why Im so big on being multiracial, and why multiracial
people have an important socio-historic context too.
Caetextia is related to my field of study, something I refer to as Integral Mind Theory, or
Integrative Hemisphere Theory. How to transcend Hemispheric Dominance. Or NonHemispheric Integration.

P a g e | 834

Yeah, 2001 has turned commercial airlines into a horror show. Nobody really wants to fly
that way if they dont have to, except my parents of course. My recommendation is,
unless youre comfortable doing that sort of thing, never fly commercial. Take a personal
jet if you can afford it. They fly you anywhere, anytime in their own words. A brilliant
option if you make enough money to travel.. And get this part, heres the real plus:
Nobody hijacks you! Yay! Isnt that just amazing?! Kind of throws the whole fear factor
out the window if youre a fan of international travel. Commercial airliners are the ghetto
of international travel. Private jets are the future of business travel, or they are the
present. Something like that.
Thats all there is to it. I want to fly on a private jet if I get rich and live in the English
Countryside, living in an international estate in England. Its my homeland. Im drawn
there. I dont just want to follow the examples of Led Zeppelin and J.R.R. Tolkien. I want
to be them one day, but in my own fashion. If that means Im going to leave the country
entirely, fly out of wherever Im living in the United States and live in the English
countryside, because I can afford to now that Im rich (when and if that happens), then
thats what Ill do. Ive delayed my self-acceptance as a Briton and a writer for long
enough. Theres just as much of a market nowadays for English words as there is for
anime art and filmmaking, no doubt about it. Both are world commodities, and thats
really all that matters to me.
The international creativity community, and its level of quality, is the best in the world.
The best thing outside of Williams Street, Silicon Valley, and Los Angeles that is. When
you watch anime or listen to British rock and European classical music, its like looking
at entertainment thats possessed by a ghostly apparition of real life superiority and
genius. Thats the best way I can think to emotional dscribe Eurasian entertainment. I
dont know what causes it, or if Im biased, but I feel drawn towards these things, this
community. It has a powerful resonance with me. England is my bloodline, and also my
home in spirit. No wonder life was so good when Radiohead was on TV. Maybe there is
something ghostly and supernatural going on here. Its haunted animation. Haunted
music. Haunted comics. Theres a certain mystique about it. International art has more
mystique than American art.
Types of Writer:
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Poet
Author
Novelist
Short Story Writer
Comic Book Writer
Philosopher
Online Content Prosumer

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---The only real way to evade online plagiarism and copyright infringement of characters
like Mono Jubei and Jen L. James is to continue producing new work. Thats what Tite
Kubo and Masashi Kishimoto use, in terms of dealing with sites like DA.
To be a good writer, you need to:

Write everyday, for at least a few hours a day

Revise and rewrite your literary work
Reread your writing, not just when you write it
Write at least 20,000 pages by the time youre 55

Fine literature is in the same rank as Anime, whether the Japanese want to admit it or not,
its the truth. A prolific book series is just fulfilling, entertaining, and complex and
generally cool as a prolific anime series. Not to mention its not writing for the illiterate
and dyslexic like much of anime is.
Im planning on, at the very least, writing 1 to 2 200-page novels during my career that I
self publish and keep to myself, if not a lot more. I also plan on writing numerous
screenplays in my career, not just numerous novels. The novels will be longer than
Essays, but shorter than most Volumes of Manifesto and Commentary, which are just
these big dense books.
Im producing what I like to refer to as the Great Wall (of Text) of China. Im trying to
build the literary and mythological equivalent of the Great Wall of China, able to be seen
from space, in terms of how massive its scope is, both in terms of following in the long
run, and in terms of the scope of my narrative mythos. I want my house or room to just
eventually be a whole bunch of stacks of papers and book copies of works Ive published.
If I break some kind of record, Im sure Lulu would keep track of it somehow,
considering theyre a business associate of mine. In terms of achieving that goal and
literature in general, in terms of productivity and profundity, currently my two biggest
influences are Tolkien and Asimov. All the prominent writers they influenced are
secondary to me. Im studying rain cloud formations here. Not the billions or trillions of
drops of water that falls down from them each storm.
Asimov wrote 500 books in his lifetime. Im off to a good start, trying my best to start to
follow his example. But so far Im trailing behind him by quite a bit. Ive only written 6
books so far: Essays, Manifestos Vol. I IV, and Commentary Vol. I. Thats quite a gap,
but it will shrink as time goes on I would suppose. Stephen King has written 50 novels,
so Im around 45 books behind him.
There are two main characteristics of epic storytelling: Intensity and Density. Intensity
means you write very powerful condensed works. A bigger impact with fewer pages.
Density means you beat the world with pure prolificacy and powerful productivity.

P a g e | 836

Outside of comics and animation, why are the Left and Right Hemispheres of the Brain
viewed as so incompatible by society? Where are all the famous, successful, and prolific
caetextia-based Dave Sims, Otomo Katsuhiros, Osamu Tezuka, Walt Disneys, Jhonen
Vasquezes and Todd McFarlanes of the world? No one knows how to use the Left-Right
Parallel Access to both sides of their brain quite like those guys. Theyre the archetypes
The Writer-Artist is a new archetype. In the past you were generally known to be
exclusive to one or the other. There were no famous examples of People balancing the
Right-Left Brain act of being a Dual Role Writer-Artist
Ill catch up to all the people who are ahead of me
The History of the Writer-Artist in Pop Culture: The First major writer-artists of note and
true innovation in history were the famous and early cartoonists of the early Twentieth
Century. Winsor McCay and Walt Disney. Both started off as cartoonists that branched
out from comics to what would eventually become modern animation. Later, more
sophisticated and notable examples such as Osamu Tezuka, Moebius, and Katsuhiro
Otomo would later follow.
----Different camps of massive productivity: Spielberg, Pixar, Bruce Timm, Eric Radomski,
Genddy Tartakovsky, Williams Street, JM Animation, GAINAX, Production IG,
Katsuhiro Otomo, the best Deviant Art cartoonists/animatos, Funimation, Bang Zoom,
Todd McFarlane Productions, Adult Swim, Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, Hiroaki Samura,
Yasuhiro Nightow, Jhonen Vasquez, Thunder-Lightning Productions, LucasFilm LTD,
Webcomics Nation, Peter Chung, Shinichiro Watanabe, Tite Kubo, Masashi Kishimoto,
Yen Press, Tokyopop, Min Woo Hyung, Viz Media, The Ocean Group, Manga
Entertainment.
----Im really, really in love with the idea of turning each panel into something that mimics a
real photography or Hollywood camera shot, what with technical magic and all that.
There are a few new (and old) techniques I want to try out:

Black Overlap Technique

Notan Technique
Foreshortened Fighting Technique
Perspective Architecture Technque
Gaussian Digtal Paint Technique
Fractals Technique
Lightbox Technique
Comic Book Fight Choreography Technique
Blade Runner City Lights Technique

P a g e | 837

-----To do something of the density and prolificacy of Akira or Cerebus, youre going to need
to draw around 30,000 pages of pre-production and panel sketches. 6,000 pages in total,
with 5 panels on each page = around 30,000 drawings. Not bad. I need produce at least
10,000 to 30,000 pages of art by the time Im in my 40s. That should be easy enough if I
make a schedule for myself and draw every day. I did 3 Gaussian art piece today. Only
10,000 more days to go!
First, you get good, then you get fast, then you get good and fast.
Dave Sim
My devotion to and discipline with my recent work has gotten pretty hardcore, in terms
of how hard Im working and how much detail some of my Gaussian revisions work
with. My Gaussian effect punch-ups are 100% hardcore.
---So, experimental manga appers to be the new buzz word on DeviantART and in the
manga community. Thats a pretty fitting title
Its only been 2 days Ive been practicing this technique for, and already Ive mastered
Gaussian digital editing! Im already re-envisioning some of the most detailed artwork
ever. Ive even made some 2-page-flipbook camera shift shots from my Gungrave
artbook! Its amazing what kind of art one can produce or manipulate digitally. Im going
to need to download some screen-capture freeze frame software for my video collection
though, so I can try out some Gaussian effects techniques on it. So far Ive done Gaussian
effects renditions of artwork by Todd McFarlane, Yasuhiro Nightow, Hiroaki Samura,
and Blade Runner! Whats left?
I like American TV. I like how masculine the majority of American action cartoons are.
Anything demasculated and girlie gets thrown out the window in my presence. I have
no time for girlie cartoons in my working life. Anime is often too feminine and girlie. Ill
be having none of that. I have a strong desire to incorporate power and masculinity into
my work, and I cant do that with too many powerful girlie characters. Its still a mans
world. Even on the internet.
I need to make my creative drawing, sketching, and visual development process stop and
go, like my journal writing. Draw or write a little bit, stop and relax for a while, get my
energy back. Repeat. The thing is, Im sure Otomo had to practice the hell out of
architecture, engineering, and production design before he ever did drawing 1 for Akira.
Like every artist, Otomo got good by drawing the things hes best at a lot. Its just that we
dont get the privilege as Americans to see his early work, so it looks like it manifested
out of thin air, but Im sure he had a whole factory full of architectural studies before I
even began any of his comic book work.

P a g e | 838

Too much praise of my work makes me arrogant and complacent

Not enough praise of my work makes me angry, depressed, critical, and insecure.
I need to learn how to keep it right in the middle.
-----

Whenever you see a masterful element drawn by a professional comic book artist, always
assume that he had to do 6,000 preliminary (mostly bad) drawings to get up to that level
hes at in the drawing you actually get to see. No artist gets really good instantaneously,
overnight, or right away, unless he can slow time down.
At 400 pages, Im halfway to getting good enough to draw Mono at an expert level. Do
the math with my weaker areas. All the rest in other words.
----Favorite animes of the moment?
Break Blade
Shangri-La
Naruto Shippuden
----Progress Checker:
Most active areas:

Production Design / Background

Fight Design
Panel/Page Design / Storyboard
-----

I dont even feel human anymore. I certainly dont expect pity, as if I needed such an
emotion as pity. Im not human anymore. Im immortal. Because of how perfectionist
and workaholic my tendencies are, I am no longer human. Im immortal. Once you
become a part of history, people no longer treat you as though youre even human
anymore. Say goodbye to the normal, nice, human life. Say hello to immortality. Its not
so bad. Its just different. Immortals dont die. They dont act or behave like regular
humans do either. The body dies, but the spirit never rests or stops existing. Its presence
can always be felt in the human world. Thats how immortality is. My Wrath is the Wrath
of The Immortal. My Comics are The Comics of The Immortal. My Art is The Art of The
Immortal. What I need to do is embrace my Immortal Nature: The Nature of The Beast. I
produce more talent in one DAY than the majority of people produce in a LIFETIME.

P a g e | 839

Thats how all Immortals function. Immortals dont have much time for small talk,
family, friends, and day to day minutia.
Bushido, Will-Power, Insane Creative Power, Epic Prolificacy, and Artistic Genius do
not function on the same level most of humanity does. Therefore, by nature, they are not
meant to be practiced by humans. Theyre the territory of Gods. Immortals. If you dont
live a normal life, then much of the time its what people claim: Theyre right. Im NOT
human. Im an Immortal Force of Nature, which few things or people, if any, can stop.
Brian ended up being one of my major enemies, The Human Wall of everyday corruption
and malice thrust in my past by the society that spawned him, lurking in front of my
Gateway to Immortal Success. Now he Burns in a scorching hell. And Iam Immortal.

Art is one of the fastest routes to Immortality.

Crime just sends you to Hell the fastest.

----Most Prolific Things Ive Ever Done:

The Manifesto Series Volumes: My Journals

SplitAtomBoom@YouTube
Spindack@ASMB
Anime Megamix
Ripped Video Engineering Folder
Essays
Blogger
Parallax / End Times @ Mono

Now if only there were a broadcasting(&)publishing online market for these kinds of
things, with paid banner adds like Webcomics Nation or JMStrebler.com. Then Id
REALLY have a showcasing site option: something that archives my best work, in any
and all media. Multimedia Archiving Sitesomething along those lines.

-----

P a g e | 840

20102020
Ten Year Progress Report
20102011
Script For Parallax: 50 pages
Production Design: 50 pages
Fighting: 60 pages
Character Design: 400
Panel-Storyboard Composition: 60
# of actual good art pages: 50
Total Number of pages Produced (between Beginning of 2010Beginning of 2011)
620 pages of writing & art
Stage 1: Brainstorming Stage
Complete, Style Bible and Blueprints are set
Next Stage:
Further Development of:
Production Design, Fighting, and Panel-Storyboard (thumbnails)
Manifestation of Multiplication and Building,
(or)
Adding-On Stage
---While yes, there are imitators in anime, manga, and webcomics, its a good thing thats
not really my specialty. My specialty is American print comics, and in terms of that, there
is no one Im competing against. I dont have any direct rivals. All my old rivals have
disappeared. Vanished. M.I.A. I fear no one and I compete against no one. Its a solo
pursuit. I guess theres Roku, and my video collection of anime-type stuff. But its lonely
not competing against anyone in my own market: Drawing action comics that arent
superheroes. This isolation has helped my style thrive in the adversity of solitude.
If someone somehow miraculous produces a 300 page comic book document that wasnt
a totally embarrassing rip off of my own, that actually looked like it might turn into
something, that was with the same demo in the same genre, but different without being
reduced to being a parasite and blatantly stealing from my style before they even make a
name for themselves, then Id get back to work, but until that day comes, there really
isnt anyone to compete with. The competition I do seem to attract doesnt even work in
the same field as me, therefore its qualifications for being eligible to compete with
meis nullified.
I need to learn to somehow relax from my workaholism, and shift into sleep mode, after a
day of extreme energy levels (some of the highest in existence), and extreme creativity:

P a g e | 841

Drawing a whole canvas of mountains with a thin metal-nib pen using nothing but hard
work and my imagination. The 5-Hour Energy helps start and boost the energy and
creative level, but it makes it can make it that much harder to slow down and relax,
before I get too insomniac-ish and manic. The Japanese and Chinese work ethic works
amazingly well, if youre living somewhere where thats considered normal. Do that
anywhere in the Western world, particularly in Florida, and theyll lock you up, lock you
away, and call you crazy, scheming of ways to use narcotherapy to slow you down. That
or hospitalization. That is the punishment Ive received for embracing my workaholic
Chinese half in The Peoples Republic of Florida. Once you get started and build up a
creative and intellectual momentum, I know how hard it can be to stop charging ahead in
battle. But relaxation and sleep in the evening and nighttime help with stress levels, so at
least theres some benefit to itwhich I never found or saw in my adolescence, the time I
was most energetic: way more than now.
Out of the following countries: the U.S., Canada, France, China, South Korea, and Japan,
Japan is the worlds leading animated filmmaking superpower. By now its transcended
the United States. Why? Because we got lazy looking at their animation, and we let kids
and girls take over the industry. Thats a problem. Quite a serious one too. The good part
is, at least now we know what we did wrong.
I am Master Joseph Matthew Alberts, or JM Strebler: Immortal Art Lord. Im a Young
New Master.
Whenever I draw something, intensely and repeatedly, with much concentration, I call it
studying. Currently I am studying photographs of rock, mountain, and valley
formations. Im tearing a note out of the Akira and DBZ notebooks.
My Masterwork still has a while to go until its anywhere near being finished, even
though I am just beginning to get a hold on the physical reality of the various locations of
New-Earth and sketching a handful of them out. The Geography of New-Earth is
becoming clearer, both in my head and on paper. Im missing a few key areas, like The
Wasteland-type locale. I have Nosferatus Floating Fortress, Valleys, and Canyons. Stuff
like that I have. But I want to make all that is intangible about my world tangible.
Including magic, powers, fighting, geography, world history, costumes, and action. The
more tangible New-Earth is, on paper, the better. New-Earth needs to manifest onto paper
at some point, and now is as good a time as any to make that Vision of Alternate World
real. I cant forget about Gaussian and Notan though, just because my production design
skills are starting to pick up. My production design is far from perfect, but it is being
realized. That much is true. I did 9 production design sketch pages in 2 days so far,
yesterday and today. Good thing I have a deep love for the hobby of production design.
Id love to be a production designer, if only I could. But Im just not that good. I mean,
Im good, but Im not Corey Jackson good, or Otomo good for that matter, or even
Moebius good.
This is the worst dilemma Ive ever faced. Ive been dreading having to choose between
being an inventor and being a comic book artist. One makes you rich and one makes you

P a g e | 842

acknowledged. But they do not achieve the same effect. I have no luck in comics, and
Im behind my peers. But as an inventor, I might have to spend the rest of my life without
peers. I have talent for both, but I cant do both. I have to choose. Or maybe I can do
comics for a while, and if I never succeed, then Ill just moonlight as an inventor,
developing future inventions, patenting them, and selling them to corporations and
companies.
---Theres a texture or textural detailing technique, that an artist can use to make his
drawings more detailed, but not more realistic. I call this primarily Marvel, Cliffhanger,
and Image publishing company-wide technique Dirt Lines. Youre creating a gritty,
dirty effect by making almost all the lines dirt lines and therefore that much more
dirty and gritty. It works very well for angst-ridden, urban, gothic or fighting comics.
Jim Lee uses this technique in his inks and pencils. So do Todd McFarlane, Joe
Madureira, and Greg Capullo
Dirt lines create the illusion of gritty and dark detail, and give the impression of
aggression and anxiety on character designs or drawings. Manga can use this technique,
but typically, in manga, it has a more cleaned up feel, and dirt lines are used more
sparingly.
Dirt Line Guidelines:
Female Face: Clean
Male Face: Partially Clean
Cloth, Clothing, and Fabric: Dirty. High usage of Dirt Lines
Backgrounds: Dirty. Usage of Dirt Lines in Some areas, like Cities and Mountains.
-----Let me think here for a minute. Do I really hate Cartoon Network?? With a fucking
PASSION! I fucking hate that network. What a total waste of space. Adult Swim is just
more of the same too, not much better than the first cartoon channel that spawned it. They
take the maturity out of Mature Content. They have no fucking clue what theyre doing.
If someone handed me money, which they might, you never know, I could build a
network a million times better and more profitable. In a way I already have. Theyre
attempted to carve out a niche online. Just further proof they get off on the thought of
invading my home turf. Theyre a bunch of filthy Americana pig backstabbers who are
lightyears behind where anime really is. And you want to know a secret? Theyll be
going bankrupt before they ever figure out how to catch up to where I am online. Theyll
go out of business and close before I ever do. That much I can guarantee. Its a test of
wills I suppose. Who can outlast who? Childish, but hey it works for now. They
themselves are childish, and my strategy is not half as childish as all the strategy theyve
ever somehow managed to come up with. Theyre stupider than they look. A lot stupider.

P a g e | 843

Half their strategy is to just follow whatever my strategy is. They didnt have to say that
part for me to figure it out. Ive already GOT THEM figured out. And theyre pathetic.
Im well aware of the fact that mostly whatever I put out there will be heavily criticized,
and people are naturally skeptical of me. But CN never has been able to help me in that
area. Will myself and my project be highly criticized upon their reception, perhaps stir up
some resentment in the media. Yes, but Im used to that, and criticism from the public
and media is a part of success. Manga, anime, and any name brand artist of today have
taken a lot of shit from people too. Not saying any of their names of course. They know
who they are. Theyre actually in the same exact position I am: Heavily scrutinized, with
a style that transcends history. You dont lack in the confidence department. What you
lack in is the approval department, which is a department youll never be completely
vindicated in. If Katsuhiro Otomo isnt vindicated in that area by now, were all doomed.
But life goes on. Big deals and all thats. Yawn.
In my private life, there is a lot of pressure to maintain consciousness, to retain signals
from the waking world and never pass out for the safety of all humanity. Bullshit lines
like that. I say fuck all that. I want to lose consciousness and cut the world off as much as
I can. Since I cant really die, this is the next best thing. Bye now.
Ive seen how people react to what I do on the internet (where else could all that kind of
attention be gathered), and I think the treatment Ive received has been a bit one
dimensional, like I have all this power and fame and influence when really not. They
treat me like Im the Spielberg of the 90s, or the Barack Obama or Michael Jackson of
today. What a crock of shit. Im important, but Im nowhere near that level. Saying I am
is unfair to the company I keep, and it underestimates my audiences intelligence. I dont
recall Sam Keith getting this much attention with The Maxx, or Todd McFarlane getting
this kind of attention from America with Spawn, or Jhonen V. getting such royal
treatment when he first came out with Johnny The Homicidal Maniac, or Jeff Smith with
Bone, or Dave Sim with Cerebus. Even in their heydays they were considered mere
raindrops on the pop culture radar. So why do they shove me to the forefront, even
when I havent really done anything yet? Why do I get the Hollywood celebrity treatment
in the media? Why do they make me the protagonist of every other TV Show, like Im a
role model of some kind? I hate getting treated this way, like Im Walt Disney after he
died or something. I hate being the center of attention. Its taxing on my mental health. It
literally turns me into an insane freak who cant get his thoughts together, let alone pen a
masterpiece. Why me? Why am I special? Im not. Why do they worship me? Stop
worshipping me!!!! I cant handle that kind of admiration or pomp and ado. Its all false.
I do not come anywhere near the level of hype they simply want to dump on me and my
life. I dont live up to the folk legend.
They keep telling me You have all the power in the world. Youre weak. Or You have
all the power in the world. What are you doing to do with all that power I dont know. If
I never hear another word about power for the rest of my life, I could die happy. I
already rule the world. I already have the majority of power because of technology. What
do I need more of it for. And I didnt realize until it was too late that writing books will

P a g e | 844

simply bring me closer to the spotlight, or maybe even put me in the middle of it, not
keep me safely away from it. Sucks, but its too late to turn back now. I dont think I
realize what kind of situation I got myself into by pursuing fame to begin with.
Entertainment is like the circus. Come watch the freaks come out and be on display. Most
people who do become truly big time successful sooner or later become a victim and
prisoner of their own success.
Part of me wonders if I could handle genuine success. Another part of me questions
whether it will ever come to me or if Ill ever actually get there. The path to success is
simple: Work on Parallax. Finish at least 1 volume of Parallax. The goal is simple, but
the book is incomplete, and isnt even 30% done yet. Perhaps its 10% done.
But with Parallax, its love-hate. For working on Parallax is equal part emo-psychological
punishment and equal part psychological and economical reward. It rewards me with
money, fame, power, and status, and independence. But its destroyed my rooms
organization, its made me an object of scorn for many, and a target of bullies, who never
did understand me. And worst of all, its put me at odds with my family. Its also brought
upon me unwanted competition. I gotta get some sleep soon. Im falling asleep.
-----

P a g e | 845

P a g e | 846

Chapter 32

P a g e | 847

Tuesday, January 25, 2011,

Im finding it difficult to relax until the time that the first quarter of Parallax is basically
assembled. In other words, the first 40 pages of penciled comic book art, give or take
some scripting in certain areas.
Before I draw all original panels, I want to see if I can cut and paste some of them
together.
If youre powerful, as I am, it really isnt healthy or efficient to talk about your own
power too much, regardless of how magnificent, majestic, or dynamic its actual
manifestation may in fact be. Power, my power, is something the world determines. Not
me.
I do so enjoy writing Dark Fantasy Lore: Mythological power fantasy and high concept
Tales of Otherworldly Heroes as the Saviors of Humanity. Stories where humanity is
almost completely destroyed or erased for a timebut upon the end of the Quest of the
Herobut, is Healed, by the Savior of Humanity. In this case, that Future Savioris
Mono. Hes the Mythological Hero Archetype of The Future, of the New Millennium of
Heroic Fantasy. A Hero of The Future of Fantasy must be inspired by Heroes of the Past,
by Heroes of the History of Fantasy. We must always learn from and model ourselves on
History and The Past. Archetypes, of The Past, Evolve into Archetypes of The Future
----Any industry thats secretive about its salary ranges is comprised of an either/or system
that pays one of two payment styles. In industries like Hollywood and the recording
industry, or television, salaries range from all the money in the worldto below
minimum wage, or worse yet wasting all your time and energy with nothing at all.
There. I said it.
Not surprisingly, technically all my work is free work. I couldntand dontcharge for
any of it. Literature, art. Im happy to produce all of it for free. I dont really have input,
influence, or say in the matter financially. Even if I wanted to have say in the matter, I
doubt it would make a difference. Disillusionment about money, the economy, and
financial matters really only manifests itself when youve been putting too much
emphasis on making money in the first place. And when youre not making any money at
all, whatsoever, why even bother to worry about. It only slows me down.
So, rhetorically speaking and askinglike all my questions here arehow long does it
take, how many years does it take to design, construct, and build the blueprints and model
sheets on paper for a full functioning mythological cartoon fantasy worldIn the U.S., as
opposed to Japan [Otomo, Tezuka], France [Moebius], Canada [Sim, McFarlane], or
England [Tolkien]. Is world-building time-centric, or is it task-centric? Is there a time

P a g e | 848

limit to it? Does the Building of New Earth have a time limit? How long does it take to
create (and) build an entire world? (!).
World-Building: New-Earth
Next to inventing in my notepad, the act of world-building New-Earth is one of the most
fun, most exciting things Ive ever done. Laying the foundation for a comic book
mythology is just as fun as it sounds like it would be to me. Being the Lead Architect and
Main Master-Builder of New-Earth is both a great joy and great privilege, considering
how much potential for success in that area there is for me. Before this period of my life,
95% of New-Earths construction was theoretical, meaning I wrote about it on paper and
on a computer. Now its going into a stage thats almost all tangible and visual in some
way. Its going to test and enhance my knowledge of mapping, architectonics,
architecture design, space, and of course perspective. New-Earth is the co-star of
Parallax, existing in a manner thats only secondary to the protagonist this living world
houses. Its fantastical yet dark and violent hero: Mono Jubei of Shadow Op Seven
Headquarters. I havent been this obsessed with developing an abstract concept,
manifesting it into reality, and making it concrete since I was designing Monos
costume(s) and fighting poses. Now I have a new obsession: World-Building. Every
waking hour of every day of my life has been spent on solving this abstract problem for
the last day or two now. But really, I can only talk about the wonders of production
design for so long without just diving right in there into the page and laying everything
out on paper and giving it some dimension. You can only do so much talking about
architecture and production design. Much of the time, the only real way to master its
Power is to just dig in there and lay it all out with a sketch in pencil or ink pens. I
subscribe to the Katsuhiro Otomo philosophy. Just like Otomo Katsuhiro I too believe in
making the background one of the main characters and making it stand out just as much
on all levels as the characters and props in the foreground.
BUT. Let us start with the basics. I want to master 1-point perspective. I want to pursue
1-point perspective aggressively, until I completely understand it, how it works, and how
to construct it from a 1-point converging line on paper. I kind of already understand it,
but you can always get better at perspective. Always. Its one of the hardest artistic
subjects to understand. I want to understand 1-point perspective not just aesthetically and
scientifically and structurally, but intuitively as well.
If I did adapt Parallax into traditional Western animation with a dramatic flare, which is
how its supposed to be, one of the most logical choices for a partner would seem to be
Stars, Manga Entertainment, and SyFy Channel. They produced and aired Dead Space:
Downfall recently, and that writing is about as dramatic and horror like as it gets. Thats
one non-Williams Street option, and unless Williams Street steps their drama game up,
which they wont Id be willing to bet money on, Manga Entertainment and maybe, just
maybe Film Roman or some other American-Korean based animation studiothe
specializes in drama and actionwould be my best bet. Lets just hope they stay in
business long enough to work with me. IF theyre the one, that is. Still, Manga

P a g e | 849

Entertainment is a tempting option. Might be the only option actually, for all I know. I
guess Ill just have to see.
You can count the list of completely dramatic American animation shows on one hand,
its such a tiny number: The Batman, Spawn, Aeon Flux, Dead Space, GI Joe: Resolute.
There, now I did it. I counted them. Nothing on Nickelodeon or Disney outside of anime
passes for real drama. I dont know if it ever has either.
I did notice.that I have a love for the designy and literate comics and animation of
society, with an eye for detail and a flair for the dramatic, the graceful, the cinematic, and
the epic. Why let those fixations and talents go to waste? Why not do an OVA, or series?
The truth is, I really only want to make good animation, regardless of nationality or socalled national style. I think there are plenty of over patriotic idiots who have made
animation, and plenty of filthy foreign swine. No one side is right or wrong. We have to
look at the state of animation as its in now. I think we can all admit, Sumner Redstone is
NOT helping things. Hes fucking up the big picture and destroying everything in his
nationalistic way. If there were ever an evil force tyrannizing animation to the extent
Michael Eisner did at one point, it would be Sumner, judging from what Ive read about
him. He NEEDS to step down before he plays corporate kamikaze even more than he has.
He doesnt need anymore money. Id be more eager to pursue American animation of all
types if someone would just take that guy out of power. Its clear hes a paranoid
sociopath and jerk whos way overstepped his corporate boundaries, and wants to intrude
on the careers of people like me and my friends.
When it comes to buyers of violents, action-genre, dramatic and detailed AmericanKorean animation, as far as option goes, its slim pickins. Its LucasFilm, the Bruce Timm
School, JM Animation, and Manga Entertainment. MTV and HBO Animation R.I.P.
Those two are no more, or at least as far as I know they are done. What is left is a literal
group of non-Japanese anime-influenced bandits. There arent a whole lotta options out
there. But if the genre expands, there will be. I actually feel that due to my similar
situation, I feel like I could actually fit in with such types of people, as like me, they
represent the future of American animation. Subcontracting business producers and
partners of American studio animation will continue to have more and more synthetic
input into what is becoming one slick process. China and South Korea are the two places
to watch in the animation world.
I think with talented artists like Fung Chin Pang, and amazing looking animated films
like Storm Riders: The Clash of Two Evils, China might actually have a shot at coming
to prominence on the world stage. As part American, part Mongolian, I find this to be
exciting news. But it could have an unpredictable affect on the American market,
considering South Korea is quickly rising to prominence in the mature action animation
biz right around the same time. South East Asia is on the rise, but this time its not for
traditional anime. It was fun trying to compete with and compare my design work to that
manifesting from Japan on the internet through DeviantART and stuff, but Im afraid Im
going to have to start thinking pragmatically if I ever want to get hired. Ill never get

P a g e | 850

hired by anyone if I keep holding on the United States in favor of getting picked by a
Japanese studio. Im highly doubtful thatll ever happen. Particularly in the beginning.
With manga maybe, but definitely not with anime. Japan only wants to see the Japanese
make anime. Im over it already.
There is still a lot of great anime-style animation to be made, through the collaboration of
Western and Eastern animation studios through American-Korean animation industry.
Avatar: The Last Airbender, love it or hate it, realistically, its lead the way and pointed
to where animation is headed. I cannot wait to see how The Legend of Korra will turn
out, even after all this time! Hopefully it will use its god given right, which would be
aerial perspective and martial arts and bending sequences. I have a strong feeling it will.
As far as Parallax goes, I should just approach my world building the same way a
professional and veteran western animation production designer like Corey and whatnot
would approach an animated series in America: With boldness, hard work, a strong
design initiative, and grand vision. But mostly a lot of hard work and perspective knowhow.
Elements Ive worked on in the Last 2 to 3 Weeks Alone

Dirt Lines, Gaussian Editing, Mountains and Canyons, Perspective Warm-Ups,

Various Kinds of Fighting Poses, New-Earth Production Design.

If I didnt have the power to start and finish work on graphic novels, Id probably kill
myself. If Im not doing what I was destined to dodrawing comicsI should probably
just die. Without the ability to build and construct comics, I have no valid reason to live.
Its been a while since Ive left the house to do pretty much anything. I havent gone
outside in a long time. Being a reclusive hermit is fun! Nothing good is waiting for me
out there anyway.
Traditional shows, like sitcoms and talk shows, are so ugly to me. In a way, my art and
visual narrative storytelling has an otherworldly quality to it, much like anime!
Is anime still the future of television animation? Will all animation in America be
detailed at one point? Or were those predictions false information? Will TV ever
completely become cinematic, or will that always be Hollywoods job? So many
questions. Will comics ever stop being made by larger publishers like Marvel and Image?
Im starting to draw comics I wrote of Mono in Zounds-Mode meaning super retro,
super primitive. My style may have been cruder and more primitive back then, but I got
a lot of pages done!
No matter how you look at it, all comic book pages use the same formula and system
to tell stories through their pages. No matter how you slice it, all pages have people,

P a g e | 851

location, weapons (or) props, motion as portrayed in freeze frame, and camera
shots. All comic books that are dynamic use this formula.
----Thursday, January 27, 2011,
3 to 4 days left until I get paid. Of course, I could always use the $100 of Adwords
money Webstarts.com gave me, if I use it at all.
Types of portfolios I have (assuming a portfolio is 6 drawings or more):

Sequential Art Portfolio

Character Design Portfolio
Production Design / Layout Portfolio
Fighting Sequence Portfolio
Script / Outline Portfolio
Storyboard Portfolio

Ive got to accept the potential of a Moores Law type of situation, where anything that
can go wrong will.
I have to assume:

The media will continue trying to point out all my faults and attempt to make an
example out of me The leader of the Revolution
Ill never get paid for anything
Ill never succeed at getting hired by anybody
Ill never get my own projects other than websites
Adsense wont pay what they owe
I wont get recognized until after I die
Ill be living here for the rest of my life
No one will take my side in any discussion. Ever.
Hollywood and Los Angeles will continue to brush me off and refuse to be my
friend

I have to assume all these nightmare scenarios will continue, and never change, even
years from now. Thats the only way I can start to function at a normal rate is to adjust to
the rate Im currently at. I cant afford to care about all and any of those situations.
Would I say I wouldnt want the world to see my in person persona as I am now. I dont
know if Id go that far. Even though my current state at this age is far from being the
idealized version I used to visualize myself becoming at this age, Ive still technically
achieved many of my career ambitions on a minor level, even when I never had the
respect from other people in my moving into my later life. There are still redeemable
elements to how my life has turned out, even when it isnt perfect or even ideal

P a g e | 852

The simple fact of the matter is that some things have entered my lifefrom the
enjoyable to the despicableand have refused to leave at my request. Thats beyond my
control. Every time I do try to drive one of the nuisance elements from my life, they try to
cling and latch back onto my magnetic image and personality without remorse for what
they did to begin with, as if they never did anything wrong or disruptive in my life to
begin with at all: Like the local pigs. Weight gainers and downers. Or Casselberry, which
I never wanted to live in, ever really. Psyche Wards. Intrusive asshole parents with big
mouths who dont allow privacy in their house. Or bad neighbors. Or bad TV shows that
try to cash in on all these newfound aspects of my life, showing up when the problems
do, descending on my life all in an effort to get ratings and cash in on me without ever
telling me about it. And being ignored by online communities Im openly a part of. And
Andrew and everything associated with him. And my parents and health care specialists
evil, villainously intrusive nature and how they all try to boss me around and control or at
least tamper withmy life. J.M.: Stop that! Quit it. QUIT IT. Stop DOING that
assholes. Why dont you guys take a hike and get the hell AWAY FROM ME???
Assholes: NO! MAKE me!
Its like, Jesus Christ. I dont think anyone whos sane asks for stuff thats gotten as
annoying as the people and things attempting to fuck up the course and direction of my
life. You get involved with one bad luck omen (Hitler Jr and his agenda) and suddenly
youve just inherited his ocean of bad luck too.
----The number one reason I like watching anime is because it brings peace into my life.
Almost every time I watch it, I feel more peaceful. It has this serene Japanese vibe to it.
Thats weird, but weird is at time a very good thing too.
Anime promotes peace.
Old women and some people say my presence and voice promote or give the
manifestation of peace. One time when I was staying as a patient in an adolescent psyche
ward, a very elderly woman, who I could sense was near death and very afraid, once
asked me if I was an angel. Are you an angel? she asked me, incapacitated and as
elderly as could be, shortly after hearing me talking to myself in the other room, looking
up at me from her hospital bed. I didnt really say anything. Not that I can remember. Her
reaction surprised me. My words do not always help promote peace. Sometimes I can
speak out of anxiety, fear, and anger, and publicly, on the internet like the trolls do, or at
least thats how it used to be for me. My voice and presence makes peaceful people more
peaceful, but it also makes bullies more bullish. Bullies often feel emboldened and
empowered when theyre near me, in traffic or in waiting areas, because they can sense
that Im afraid of them, and assume everyone is as intimidated by them as I am. Its that
kind of emboldening and empowerment that bullies dont need, that makes people want
to seek revenge against them, or gets them into car accidence. That raw arrogance that is
so dangerous to society.

P a g e | 853

---Do famous artists, authors, directors, writers, and producers in Hollywood ever peak?
Does an auteurs career ever actually peak, or is he like me where his ass ages like fine
wine? As far as celebrity goes, one can definitely peak. As far as accomplishment and
achievement goes, it never really ends.
----My work goal, for, say, the next two to three years, to work on until around 2013 or so, is
to finish at least 40 to 100 pages of storyboard-panel comics thumbnails, of dialogue,
scene, moods, and action. The original deadline was set for 2013 and has not changed
since I set it. But Im working up to pacing myself, and drawing in a stop and go manner.
I also have to take into account the times Andrew will be hanging around the house,
which will slow down my process considerably. But I do think 100 or so panels of
thumbnails of various sizes, from full page to small, by 2013 is definitely an attainable
goal, even when Im working slowly.
I dont know if my physical presence has ever been as gawky and awkward and
uncomfortable as I always used to claim it was. For the record, I always used to claim
that at a very insecure and unstable time of my life. My life was unstable, and that was
probably manifested in the internal inward perception of my physical appearance. In
other words, Im not exactly Napoleon Dynamite. DVR descriptions describes him as
gawky, but honestly I dont feel that way, and seeing an actor fake such perceived
mannerisms kind of struck me as a bitoff. But thats MTV for you. Stereotypical of
Americas youth, as usual. Always favoring old people and whatnot. Trying to make us
avert our eyes of the young.
You never really do get used to seeing yourself appear on TV once every 2 seconds. As
much as I hate to admit it, for as long as Ive denied it, my face is an archetype now.
But the thing is, Im also one of the most powerful 20-somethings in the world, other than
Lady Gaga, the Facebook and YouTube founders, and Britney Spears of course. Time to
use The Force, Luke.
Im famous for my power and genius, and my career field and looks. How did I get so
powerful?
Im just too young to tackle something as deep, wise archetypal, and mythological as
Parallax. And yet I wasnt saying that when I was working on it yet again less than a
week ago. Am I too young for a project like Parallax? Now that I might be done with
lessons for the time beingI forgot where I was going with this actually.
Maybe, HOPEFULLY, this give it all up and screw it all thing is a phase. I did vow to
have 100 pages of thumbnails done by 2013. Did I not? Today was disrupted by family,
so at least I have an excuse. But Ive got to find a way to get around the pressures of

P a g e | 854

success, and get that work of mine tightened up somehow. Anyhow! I dont fucking care
how you do it JUST DO IT for fucks sake!!!!
Hmm. Monsters. Monsters often make appearances in Yahoo News photos, like a real
celebrity. The Monster is a star. The Monster destroys large things, and is a large thing.
Ive done a lot, and I mean a LOT of epistolary rambling in my journals. At least 3,000 to
4,000 pgs worth. Theres got to be SOME useable material for fiction writing!
The Japanese creator / writer-artists who Im most like would be Katsuhiro Otomo and
Osamu Tezuka.
The two American creator / writer-artists who Im most like are Dave Sim and Moebius.
The 2 film director-producers who Im most like are George Lucas and Steven Spielberg.
I represent the best, most profitable, famous, and dynamic of the mainstream of my
respective medium.
So, the list:

Otomo
Sim
Lucas
Moebius
Spielberg
Tezuka

Those guys have some big hearts, and a lot of compassion. Their work has a mystical
quality to it much of the time.
Animation Roles I want to Get Really Good At, Maybe Master With Practice:

Character Design (Model Sheets)

Storyboarding (Storyboard Pages)
Production Design (Layouts)
Development (Design Sheets)
Writing (Script, Screenplay)

Some of the same people who may be developing my ideas with me in the future, are not
that much older than I am. Quite contrast to my parents, who are close to three times as
old as I am, give or take a decade. Youth is not a liability when it comes to comics and
animation. I didnt realize that originally, that a sizable amount of people working in
television animation and comics and on the web are in their late 20s.

P a g e | 855

The Good Part:

Roku
DVD Watching
Internet Websites
Comic Book Drawing
Thumbnail Drawing
Screenwriting

Is there for me to use and utilize any time of the day or night, 24/7. And if I were younger
Id be doing those things nonstop, just like videogames or drums. But since Im out of
shape, nowadays doing those things, while productive, often feels like real work. Theyre
available 24/7. But Im not necessarily automatic like my hobbies are.
----Im thinking of getting out of the webcomics business.
Unfortunately, blabbermouth types, rats, moles, never get ahead in Hollywood, Los
Angeles, anime, animation, or professional comics. You can get pretty far on the internet
and in the news being a blabbermouth because predators in those mediums pray on such
information for profit and exploitation. But that kind of temperament wont get you
anywhere in big business.
Why is it that if you write drama, the public thinks youre life should be an extension of
the drama in your stories. Whatever happened to living differently than you write your
fiction? People just dont understand my life, I guess.
Not all secrecy and lying is bad. Just some of it. I have a lot of secrets, but theyre all
good to me. Any of my secrets could easily be exploited and misused by the worst people
in the world, people with no regard for my safety, career, success, health, or feelings.
Those important things in my life dont make two shits of a difference to my competitors
and enemies.
ETHICAL SECRECY
Therefore a certain kind of justified and ethical secrecy is okay.
For instance, the fact that Im one of the 100 most powerful young people in the entire
world?The fact that Im more powerful and influential than most is just one of many
ethical secrets I keep, to keep the world in order.
Just because I believe in ethical secrecy doesnt mean I go around stealing, raping, and
pillaging in my spare time, like a fucking Viking or something. Thats a ridiculous
notion.

P a g e | 856

----I wonder who has the worst subconscious nightmares: Scientists maybe? Horror fiction
writers? Horror movie directors? Explorers?
Things to Print from Wiki:
Narcissism
Cult of Celebrity
Cult of Personality
systems theory
systems engineer
----Making anime, manga, comics, animation, and webcomics successfully is a Lot harder
than reading or watching them successfully. The producers job difficulties outweigh his
audiences difficulties of understanding the functionality of the material 1 million to 1.
An animation producer is a strategically hard, stressful, and generally complex, difficult
job! Hardly anyone understands this complexity until they fill the actual role of producer
themselves. Being a good producer is hard to learn, and even harder to do. Its hard work.
But even if you do succeed at it, you cant get smug. Lots of people think I cant handle
being an executive producer because Im not powerful and white (i.e. smart). But what of
Aaron McGruder? The Boondocks was a great show. Was Mr. McGruder Not smart or
strategic enough to handle the task of producing The Boondocks animated series, merely
because he was black? Hell no he wasnt not capable. Skin color doesnt really factor
into how well you can produce, design, or create a TV Show, unless you believe in what
the stereotypes tell you, and you let it, therefore diminishing your own potential by not
believing in yourself. Skin color only really matters to certain industry people, and some
of the people who watch the animation and have no input or intel into how its made.
These are things I think about as a producer of ethnicity and general diversity. The race
issue could really work against me in the future if I dont anticipate it factoring into my
career. Aaron McGruder never let racism stand in his way to his dreams. He confronted it
directly in the screenplays he wrote for his show. That was his method for dealing with it,
ignorance from the world. I dont know if Ill ever be that direct in addressing my own
run-ins with discrimination, racism, and stereotypes in the workplace. I do like equal
treatment and the civil rights movement, but Ive never felt the need to directly address it
in my work. I wasnt taught by my family to think that way, so I dont. For the most part,
I think not in terms of skin color, but the content of my peoples character, my peoples
being my primarily white and Asian male and female fans, the characters I design, and
the famous voiceover artists who provide their voice and soul. My people has nothing
to do with what ethnicity my people belong to. Im all inclusive. Excluding people is a
thing of the past, unless its competitors and enemies. For obvious reasons I can include
those guys. None of my heroes take the issue of race all that seriously. We all pretty
much unanimously see racism and the race card as what it is: a crutch and an obstacle

P a g e | 857

made by the overly political and counterproductive individuals of society. I dont believe
in racism. Or the race card for that matter.
When it comes to race and animation, the Japanese took a different approach then
Americans, whether because of cultural or social limitations or strategy, the motivation is
not important. Osamu Tezuka was an ingenious pioneer in a technique I like to refer to as
The Idealism and Humility of Ethnical Anonymity made possible by things like the
anonymity of working in animation and publishing, as Tezuka did so wonderfully. He
chose not to make a big deal out of the fact that he was Japanese, either consciously or
unconsciously, because he wrote and drew fantasy, he didnt think in terms of race or
culture or social diversity. He neither bragged nor felt ashamed of his ethnic background.
It simply was, and it was not off-putting at all. That is what I want to do: What Tezuka
did, but with whatever ethnic groups I may or may not belong to. I guess you can call
what I do Idealism & Humility of Multiracial Anonymity. In other words, Im doing
what Tezuka did, catering to my own idealism and imagination, while never really calling
attention to my skin color or alleged cultural background. And of course, I am not
Japanese. Whether you are or are not Japanese should have no place in manga debate.
The debate needs to be about the art, narration, cinema, and storytelling, not the cultural
associations of the people discussing or making it. To do otherwise flirts with
discriminatory, nationalistic tendencies. If youre a manga fan who is discussing comics
online, you would do well to remember, there is a good place for discussion of ethnicity
in comics with cultural and entertainment historians, but fans should stick to what they
know, which is how much they love the comics, not how poorly Americans draw
compared to the Japanese. Even if that were true all the time, it would still be
categorically inappropriate. It would assume an awful lot of things one need not assume. I
am who I am. Race doesnt factor into my self image. There is a time when Ill let people
discuss my racial diversity. And thats When and After Im Dead.
Every nerdy type character on TV is modeled after one guy: The always befuddled Jared
from Subway and Can you hear me now?. Uh, his, my profession is Can You Hear
Me Now.
I really do want to break away from the cool crowd and become more cinematic and
literary, speaking as an author, become my own auteur. But the cool in-crowd makes
the rules. For all I know they might never allow me the market freedom to do that. They
might only want me to be stuck at the Adult Swim Message Boards, YouTube, and
AnimeTV for the rest of my life. That would be a disaster if I ended up that way. Im so
not living up to my real potential there. But if the fans will it, there really isnt much I can
do about it as a creator.
-----

P a g e | 858

Foundations of Screen/Fiction Writing, Narration, and Storytelling

Foundation 1: Verbsthe foundation of storytelling, fiction writing (short story, novel,
or script), screenwriting, narration of any variety, and action is verbs. Without verbs
nothing happens.
Foundation 2: Visual Descriptionthe other foundation of those areas of storytelling
and narration is visual description. This establishes setting, atmosphere, vibe or feel,
and location.
Foundation 3: Dialogueits important to have your characters say things. That way we
know what theyre thinking and feeling.
----I will succeed. Im going to succeed. But its going to be on my own terms, privately.
Ive successfully been making a forward moving flow chart, to demonstrate the
transition of brain activity between the Left and Right Hemispheres of my brain
during the day, as demonstrated by computer activity, TV and video activity,
notebook writings, and notebook-sketchbook drawings. Its neither a notebook OR
a sketchbook. Technically, its just a book. Im stop and go, I start and stop with
each new activity, and my mind shifts from left to right with each new activity. Such
is the nature of Parallel Brain Hemisphere Access. Its not as easy for me to stay on
one side, or in one place (medium, media, book, project, activity. If you charted its
so-called linear activity, the only linear activity, would be that it would form a zigzagging wave pattern, if you mapped out my brain activity as a flow chart on paper.
Choreography is physical music. If youre drawing fights on paper, whether with pen or
pencil, youre designing them. Youre a fight designer. And a fight designer is never
allowed to get tired. You dont play baseball for one game or inning and then walk away
smugly. Only cowards and wimps do that. Real men, real athletes are all marathon
runners. They play for the whole season, not one round knockout, one inning Real
warriors are there to battle competitors for the long haul. If you dont have real energy,
dont design fights.
You should always strive to design longer fights, for the duration. Get as many poses and
fights in there as possible. Design as many poses and fights in your thumbnail notebooks
as possible. Think like a martial arts choreographer, preferably in Hong Kong.
Fight Pose Setup, staging, cinematography, and design in comics and animation (or
swords and guns as Cary derisively refers to it) is every bit as much of both a science
and an art as any other artform is. Too bad Cary is ignorant to its ingenuity. But the
consensus on this area in the action cartoon and film world is unanimous in Asia. They
all hate people like Cary for belittling their craft and saying things like that.

P a g e | 859

Id love to report Viacom to the government for human rights violations and damages to
society, but the truth is, Viacom is the government, and so are most if not all big media
companies. Thats one of the main facts theyre hiding from everyone. The government
has a lot of influence on Big Brother Business. OPERATION MOCKINGBIRD. Look it
up. All the better reason to never get involved with old paradigm conglomerates: Theyre
all corrupt and evil and run by the CIA and U.S. Government.
----Sketchbooks & Sketches Should be referred to as Training Art.
Comic Book / Storyboard Pages Should be referred to as Story Art.
Fight Design easily benefits when it maintains literary merit. But half the action movies
that have come out in the last five years, if not a lot more, emphasis non-story-based
fighting and style over substance. Theres no emotional or physical motivation for the
fighting other than an exotic way to get beat up, which doesnt count.
Im learning some things from studying Fight Choreography. Fighting, combat, fight
choreography, martial arts, cinematic wu xia choreography, action, art, violence,
weapons. I practice incorporating these motifs and themes into my art because no one
else has done it the way I do, it mostly hasnt been done before, or its mostly been of a
low quality in the West until now. After all, Yuen Woo-Ping is a live action film
choreographer, not a an animator, animation producer, comic book artist, or writer.
Outside of Superman, Batman, and Dragonball, there isnt that much fighting in
traditional American art. Its all on TV, never in books in America, superheroes and
manga aside.
Necessities of Action Art:

Story
Dynamic Action Poses
Action Lines
Dynamics of Composition
Staging and Choreography
Perspective
Production Design (Setting)

P a g e | 860

Discrimination in Hollywood and AsiaReversed, and Forward

There is a racist discrimination and natural bias going around the internet and
Hollywood regarding certain Americans or American-Asians, art, their status as a
foreigner, and their abilities among some of the more established Asians and
Hollywood elite that says two main discriminatory things about them, for no other reason
than how they look:
A) Pro-Asian DiscriminationYoure not entirely Asian, if at all, so youll never be
able to do what an Asian or Asians can in Asia, entirely because youre part
Filthy-White-American-Invading-Devil-Barbarian, and not Asian.
B) Pro-White, Pro-American DiscriminationYoull never become a well known
producer or industry professional in Hollywood outside of being a typecast
stereotype folklore figure, purely because you dont fit the racial mold of being a
rich or middle class 100% white person.
There is discrimination from both sides, from both the East and West: America and Asia.
They both discriminate against ethnic diversity and minorities in their respective fields
and countries quite equally. In some ways, its that way with comics and animation too.
People discriminate. Especially if you dont fit the conservative values mold Its a fact
of life. The minute you do attain any position of experience and authority whatsoever,
race will be a factor in the eyes of the discriminatory industry and public.
----Ive fallen just too in love with the wide shot. Every drawing I do tends to be a wide shot,
more so than is normal. I need more medium shots and tight close-ups and over the
shoulders
I dont just draw in one style with my art. Ive covered many different styles:

Fractals
Notan-Noir Black and White Silhouette
Acrylic Romanticism
Fine art Charcoal pencil and No. 2 Pencil Romanticism
Pen and Ink Otomo-Samura Style
Gesture Sketches and Doodles
Messy and Clean Expressionism
Cityscapes
Pose Wide Shots
Pose Medium Shots
Close-ups
Anime Cell Inking
Cut & Pasting

P a g e | 861

So Im told, I guess the whole superhuman fortitude thing is one of my strong points.
Even when things get really scary and intense, I dont budge. Im sort of a human
fortress, or so some would say.
Speaking of that, you need fortitude to do what I do. You need fortitude just to be me. I
can withstand anything. Apocalypse Speculation.. Hurricanes. Assassination Attempts.
Persecution. Public Humiliation. Psychiatric Imprisonments. Stressful, Overcrowded
Environments. Emotional Torture and Abuse. Being Discriminated Against and
Blacklisted. Entire PR Campaigns Designed to Mimic and Impugn Me. And Yet, Here I
Am. Nothing Has Changed. For Me, That Is. My work and resolve, or Fortitude, is the
only real trait that can withstand such punishing conditions. Its like being a real life
soldier.
Why and how did I ever think fitting in on the internet or whatever it was I used to do
was the Correct way to go for fitting in with the pros and world class artists and writers
and other creative production project types?? Most of them arent even ON the internet.
Id rather make real friends in real life. The internet isnt even real. Not significantly so
anyway.
Im not worried about doing 6006,000 pgs of Parallax anymore. Im not even worried
about doing 100 pgs. Im focusing on 1 page, and going outward from there. Until I can
actually do 1 page, whether crappy or decent, its pointless to even attempt 100, because
you cant do 100 until you do 1. All this unrealistic fantasizing has been a detriment to
my work ethic. While fantasizing about being the hardest worker, Ive daydreamed
myself right into the trap of being the laziest, never even working at all. Fortunately I did
some Infomercial Caricature and Eva Misato laughing thumbnails. The Misato one turned
out great. I got a whole full shot of Misato on a paper no more than three inches tall and
wide. It was detailed and everything. Nice work. I drew it on stick paper post it notes and
posted it on my desks wall. Im probably going to be drawing quite a few more
thumbnail sketches this way. Doing so is easier than I thought.
There. Taped the Misato ink sketch on the post it note to a page in my miniature
notebook. I also ate dinner and desert, did 30 jumping jacks, watched a little TV and a
DVD, read some of my new books, took the recycling bins up to the house, cleaned some
of the kitchen, took a shower, washed my hair/face (thoroughly, which is usual for me),
and brushed my teeth. Im actually clean for a change. Its nice to have Me Time. The
house was mostly empty to day. I actually got to take care of myself for a change.
----To get really good at drawing fight design on paper, you have to practice constantly, with
anatomy and weapons and effects and motion just as you would with costumes or
production design, just as it really is, which is to say, like fight design is like any other
cinematic fighting element. You have to practice drawing and creating poses and camera
angles and foreshortening for fight design constantly. Theres no 2 ways about it. Hell, I
just did a brand new sword fight pose based on a pause I saw online less than 5 minutes

P a g e | 862

ago. Theres no end to it and how intense and diligent the energy levels you put into your
practice can be. Speed lines, fight design, blurring, swords, trench-coats, guns impact
poses, poses, foreshortening, kicks, spin-kicks, punches, backhands, swipes, slaps, close
ups, wide shots. And all sorts of combinations and variations thereof. I love art fighting,
or anime fighting. To put it another way, you never will do too many different fight
poses. But you can do enough.
To simplify, another way of saying it is, The name of the gameis action!
---I dont know if Im cut out for this living alone in a house thing. Its kind of boring. I
dont feel as motivated to do anything now that theres no one living with me
temporarily. Im getting a taste of what living on your own is like, and I dont know if I
really prefer it all that much. Its more work, and theres more responsibility involved. I
have to remind MYSELF to stay clean and out of trouble. Mom sounds groggy on the
phone. Shes on all the pain medication that goes with surgery. I feel so bad for her. Im
okay, but I dont think she is currently. Shes in the hospital after intensive surgery. And
Im too much of a coward to go see her. I really dont know what to do.
Been getting some phone calls, from friends of the family, and family checking up to see
if Im all right. Cant blame them for being concerned I guess, but as far as Im
concerned, Im holdin it down just fine. The house hasnt exploded yet. Thats always a
plus. I havent spontaneously combusted yet, so I guess Im doing pretty well! And all
on my own. Its good to feel clean.
If my parents leave me in charge, which they of course wont, but if they do, I guess that
means Im eventually going to have to find work somewhere. God knows the internet
doesnt pay pretty much ever. And theres not really any prosperous local business in my
area. It would be hard to find a line of work. Id be like the rest of the country, like my
brother, doing job search after job search, finding steady employment nowhere. Id
become the person I feel sorry for: My brother. Man. And I thought Id never see the day.
But I guess you do what you have to.
If you have any sort of real power, though it has the power to relieve stress, it can be
stressful. Having enormous amounts of strength and power can be stressful on the mind
and body. Glad I finally realized that. Creativity is an actual healthy coping mechanism.
Forget about the unhealthy coping mechanisms for power-stress. Those never do you any
good in the big picture.
The minimum is 1 action pose-page a day, and it must fill up the whole page, even if I
have to scan it and zoom in with photo editing. I completed around 4 action pose pages
today, if I count photo-editing software-made pgs.

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Friday, February 11, 2011,

Egypt:
Speaking as a writer, and an aspiring future political theorist and philosopher (for
fictional worlds I make up when I design fantasy world militaries and governments in my
head), PROBABLY one of the best, most justified things the formerly Mubarakcontrolled former regime can do to help the Middle East and put the former Egyptian
regime of Mubarak in his true place (as a worm and villain in History) would be to admit
what Mubarak did to corrupt them and freely give out information about how Mubarak
corrupted his own Egyptian government into a regime in the first place. Or just continued
it. Honesty is the best policy, even in the Arab world. Admit what the Powers That Be
made them lie about and commit violence against the common people for. The best thing
they can do is admit what they did, without intentionally offending the people in Egypt
who hear their now-Democracy-influenced message. And yes, I, Obama, and the internet
WILL be listening. So youd better approach your position carefully, Military of Egypt.
The main advice Id offer to Egypt, would be keep a REAL CLOSE EYE on Iran, the
same way South Korea is keeping a real close eye on North Korea. They are the villains
of world history at the moment after all. Im not going to discuss Korea right now. The
Egypt Iran tension is too big of a deal, and too much at the forefront of the world to talk
about anything else. I just needed a chance to speak, a real excuse to speak my mind
politically. And I did. On Twitter this morning and last night.
Thank you Obama, youre finally actually achieving and getting results more than
talking. Just messing with you.
Social Reform Movements
Symbols of Peace and Reform
The Obama Presidential Inauguration
Cairo Square (comparable to the protests at Tiananmen Square and the Berlin Wall Fall)
Whats left of the Egyptian Military and Government is going to have the re-write the
book of Arab Politics all over again. Will that take a lot of strategy and planning and
more than a year (unfortunately more than a year) to successfully achieve? Yes. Should
there be a Egyptian Constitution written based on the Western Examples, I strongly
believe so. That is how Laws and Governments get established. By Congresses and
Written Government Documents and Discussion of how they should be written; believe it
or not, these types of considerations seem obvious to me. If Egypt Truly wants to Stay
Free, they cant repeat recent history. They cant repeat themselves. Democracy
anywhere is built on a foundation, on organized governments that endorse freedom and
pro-autonomy governance. This is an enormous opportunity for Egypt to set an example
as a new paradigm Role Model for the Entire Eastern World, to show theres more to
Asia than evil regimes, tyranny, corruption, terrorism, and socialism. Because theres a
lot more to it than that. And if youre an Egyptian today, you already know that. Obama
and the United States Government knows all about this sort of thing. Diplomatic and
international aid from around the democratic world should counsel and consult with

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Egypt in this Time of Change for the Arab World. Change is in the Air. Revolution really
is happening in the Middle East now. I dont want to get too excited, but its easy to get
excited about a successful day like Friday, February 11, 2011. A Day of Democracy and
Change overseas. Egypt has ended up with one of the greatest opportunities for change in
the history of the world. It actually DIDNT happen in America this time. The attention is
finally on somewhere else.
And this is proof that, by sparing protestors in Egypt and helping to oust Mubarak, the
Web has proven its usefulness in not only bringing peace to the world, but saving the
lives of innocent people as well. The web saves lives too. Some of my influence saves
lives. Not only that, it brings epic peace and justice to society. Real Justice.
In a way, Bush, much as people hate him, was the warrior
Barack Obama has been the peacemaker and strategist.
Ive always been out to help the world though, for a long time now. I used to be against
everyone. Now, I just want to help. Im happy to help you or anyone out however I can.
----And thats about as much political commentary as youll get out of me for the moment.
Wow, I feel so very, very, incredibly topical. Im amazing! I brought peace to the world!
Go me!
Savior?? I dont know if Id go that far. I have some powerful political might now. I
have some political strength in the media and in society and culture around the world, but
thats about as far as Ill go in admitting something like that. I dont want to become
arrogant and believe my own hype. Ill just keep working for political order and peace,
from a non-political diplomatic and technocratic position.
----Thats all the inspiration Ill ever need, right now.
Whats happened in the last 18 days or so in Egypt, the reform thats happened there is
the same kind of new-paradigm political reform I want to take a literary photograph of
for reference in the post-Apocalyptic. Egypt is now a Rebuilding Society. New-Earth (the
world I created) is a Rebuilding Society. Egypt is playing a big part in the shaping of my
fictional story. Its more of an allegory now than ever before. And because of how
much people have been impressed by my input through the internet, even I get to have
input and say into how Egypt is Rebuilt, Politically, Religiously, Socially, Culturally,
Geographically, Logistically, Militarily, and Economically. No Small Task Im a
contributor like every other major Internet Pundit. Many of the Egyptian Protestors who
survived the Martyrs who died in the struggle, one of the main Reformers blatantly
thanked Facebook and Twitter (which I have a popular account on) on CNN. That gives

P a g e | 865

me more power than I had. Real power. Political and Social Reformer Power, like the
Civil Rights Movement or something. Suddenly my life has a real purpose and meaning
all of the sudden. Well, actually, it had meaning before, but now it has meaning thats
that much more powerful.
New-Earth and Egypt have a lot in common, in an allegorical way like Nosferatu and any
tyrant overseas do.
Starting today, The Continuing Egypt Saga has given me a lot of raw source material to
work with for the development of my Post-Apocalyptic fictional universe, my own
mythos: New-Earth: The Rebuilt World. Its like winning the allegory lottery.
----Paying for sex isnt a bad thing most of the time. The only people who oppose paying for
sex are feminist women who can have sex with anyone they want, and therefore take their
sex appeal for granted, and people who are ABLE to have sex without having to resort to
paying for it. Id rather pay for sex with a mistress or prostitute than not have sex at all,
and get shafted by American females like every other Arab guy in the U.S.
----Whats next for JM Strebler anyway? Well, now that the gossip seems to have been
upstaged by actual revolution, feel like I can breath a sigh of relief. Finally, people trust
me again. It feels great.
----2 favorite topics of the moment: Fight Design Choreography, New-Earth History, and
Monos Sword.
Also, I helped liberate Cairo and Egypt, with nothing more than a laptop. I wonder if
America still going to want to discuss his penis now. Does my penis still even exist?
I cant seem to feel or sense it in the slightest. I like feeling important. It makes me forget
I have a penis. As a partial Arab myself, though not Egyptian, but part Tunisian, I
disregard my penis in favor of Enlightenment and Peace, but thats really just me. God
doesnt endorse my penis like society does. God only seems to want to endorse my soul
for some reason.
Most anime worlds, or American animated series worlds, no matter how pretty they look
on the surface, do not have a World-Building History. New-Earth actually has history.
Naruto and DBZ have a pretty impressive Shonen Genre World History. But its mostly
in relation to the characters: Not the world itself. History is the key to inventing your own
mythology. Without it, your world will always only be in the moment and nothing
more.

P a g e | 866

I got my debit card in the mail today. It has free direct deposit. As soon as I get my next
paycheck, Im depositing it.
Day Dreaming about Fight Scene Design
It is important to visualize fight sequences in your head, before you commit them to the
page. Make it feel natural to you. Visualize short or lengthy, simple or complex fight
sequences in your head before you commit them to paper for pages and pages. Picture
poses, movements of poses, animation sequences, comic book panels, styles and schools
of fighting. Get it in your head, then transfer it from your imagination to paper.
In your mind, in your head, and once you have some good and bad imagery, flesh a
bunch of those poses and actions and rhythmes and designs from the sequencethat you
saw in your headout on paper.
Spend ALL DAY daydreaming fight sequences. The more you do it, the more fluently
and extensively youll be able to picture it, then draw it, and design it and eventually put
it on screen. Daydream about fighting as Jackie Chan, John Woo, Corey Yuen, and Yuen
Woo-Ping daydream about fight scenes.
You can even daydream up the story around the fight sequence if you want, the emotional
motivation, justification, level of intensity and speed and all that.
To daydream the visual language of fight scenes in your mind is to speak the language of
fight choreography in your mind. Thought brings manifestation, especially for me. If I
can think of fight moves and poses, theyll become real, a LOT more real later on down
the road.
---But the thing is, there are no books that specialize on Fighting sequences, or staging
fighting on paper for entire sequences and scenes. How to Draw Manga: Fighting only
covers the surface of fighting in Manga and anime, meaning it doesnt teach us how to
approach or execute drawing a length battle sequence or story-based scene. Believe me.
Ive read all those books, and theyre not extensive enough in reality. Japanese Anime
and Manga Fight Scene Choreography Literacy does cover the basics and essentials,
which is how to draw individual moves: Punches, kicks, blocks, and all that. But moves
and poses, are just pieces of a larger puzzle. The manga-ka, if hes to be successful at
doing books and scenes, is going to have to figure out how to teach himself to piece
together the puzzle pieces (moves, movements, actions, and poses) to piece them all
together to form the bigger picture: The cohesive whole of a story or scene as part of a
larger story in a manga trade paperback.
So if you write about the Apocalypse as a comic book, I guess you do tend to have
dream-nightmares about flooding worlds, giant robots, crashing planes, and battles with

P a g e | 867

sea monsters. Its like theres no relief or escape from the epic action, not even in your
dreams.
-----

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Chapter 33

P a g e | 869

February 2011,
Fight Choreography on TV:
Martial Arts Action is not currently a very popular option of content to air on TV by
studio executives. No one wants to make a serious attempt of it, especially if Americans
are the producers. There is some bias and discrimination, even on outlets like Nicktoons
and Adult Swim. Outlets, that already air action. They almost always take the humorbased gooky slant eye slant. Never real choreography with these people, the braindead
network executives that want to water and slow everything down. A show of Parallax
isnt really possible on TV right now. Fight Brainstorming really becomes more easy
and natural to me, and I become more fluent in the language of Fight Sequence
Brainstorming with the more I obsess about it. Its like Japanese. With a lot of practice
over many months, probably even years, you can speak the language of Fight
brainstorming fluently. Fighting is a language in and of itself. Its also a dance of
rhythm.

Losing interest in Production I.G.:

Im getting a bit bored with Production I.G. They dont really do enough martial arts
sequences to satisfy me as much as they used to anymore. Im also kind of disappointed
that theyre still mostly only known for Ghost in the Shell. I dont know if Ive
outgrown Ghost, but I like martial arts the best now. My focus is shifting. Now its
really mostly about Shaw Brothers and Hong Kong martial arts choreography, like Bruce
Lee, Jet Li, Chow Yun Fat, John Woo, and Yuen. I like martial arts people because they
are the underdogs of Asian cinema, not Japan. Japan is the champion of Asian Cinema.
Anyone who knows how to get some extreme, exciting, powerful, fast, and flexible poses
out of their martial arts battle is fine by me. But Im definitely falling out of the shadow
of Production I.G.s influence. Most of Ghost in the Shell is static (still motion), and Im
not really in a static phase of my choreography and staging design. My favorite
storyteller and designer of fights and characters is the daydreaming choreographer
and fight designer in my head. Im getting good enough that I actually can be one of my
own fans now.

Violence on TV:
American censors seems to think Asian martial arts and fighting is too aggressive,
violent, and intense to show on TV 24/7, all the time, much like the problem Invader Zim
has on Nickelodeon. Americans just cant handle violence on TV. People like me can
handle it. But the censors think everyone else is dumb. Its ridiculous.

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Daily Fight Pose Drawing:

Im getting better at this: More fluent in the non-verbal language of fighting on the page.
The minimal requirement of daily output is 1 page a day. If I do less than 1 page of
fighting poses each day, I fail. Today I passed my own test. I made it all the way up to 19
pages of fighting sequence snippets and poses

Panel Cutting-&-Pasting:
I now have enough completed sketches to fill up around 20 PAGES worth of 4
panels-per-page fight scenes and sequences. Thats an entire comic book issue of
nonstop fight poses or more. Ill get around to compiling and editing the artwork in
a little bit, as soon as I figure out if Manga Studio Software cut and pasting is the
appropriate method for this kind of sequential art production.
Fight Design Rates:
If recent accounts are any indicator, on average, it takes me around 3 months to produce
40 pages of fight panel material (moves, stances, poses, and all that). Thats my limit: 40
pages every 3 months. Thats around 10 to 20 pages worth of sequential art, probably an
entire issue of fighting scenes. But the thing is, most if not all comic book issues arent
all fighting, so its really only for part of an issue or graphic novel. I have enough for part
of an issue. The average amount. Thats really just perfect for me.

Manga Training Titles (From Series Im going to Produce):

Saga of Fighting
Chronicles of Fighting
Chapters of the Fight
Fight Design Chronicles
Fight Chapters
Notes: Measure how many pages/panels long the typical main fight scene chapter
segments of a typical manga fight scene are.

Starting:
Well, I finally seem to be making some progress on Mono Comics, or Parallax. The
results are mostly sloppy and rough, but Im off to a great start.

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Media Attention and Loss of Focus:

All this media attention has really made it hard to get work done and focus on my comics.
I cant help but wonder if theyre distracting me in that fashion on purpose.
But ultimately, I decide how many pages I draw. The more I want to draw comics, the
more Ill find a way to draw them.

What I use the internet for the most:

Gauging public opinion

Finding out about new stories
Spying on competition
Finding out about uncontrolled leaks (see public opinion)
Researching topics of interest
Anime press releases
Online video
Checking email
Horoscopes in email
Responses from the public/friends
Publicizing my thoughts and opinions
Talking to / interacting with people overseas
Hearing professionals speak (Twitter, YouTube)
Showing off my artwork (even though I always fail at it)
Listening to music
Watching anime

What I dont use the internet for

Hearing people insult me

Failing to generate buzz
Experiencing being the victim of slander
Fending off groupies whose age defies mine
Running into stalkers/competitors/enemies
Getting insulted
Hearing rumors and gossip about myself
Seeing people pretending to be me and getting away with it
Seeing frightening, gross, and disturbing visions in the news and on rogue
websites
Hearing people recite facts they know about me (I can do that myself.
In other words, all the awkweird social stuff.

P a g e | 872

Lack of Ability at Drawing:

I dont just feel isolated from the media, due to my rebellious feelings of boycotting it. I
also feel a strong desire to work and a deep sense of restlessness. But the lack of ability in
my drawing hand and mind and my page, manifesting at the moment, creates a barrier
making it virtually impossible to work by compulsion, because none of the inspiration is
there. Im restless and uninspired.

Speaking the Language of the Muse Gods:

I dont speak the language of mortal humans. Normality. That whole thing. I dont speak
human. I speak the language of the immortal cartoon and comics guy. I speak the
animation-comics auteur language. That is the only language I know. And most of this
language is speaking to yourself while others are listening. My mannerisms have a kind
of eccentric legend of fame and iconography surrounding and haunting them in the
media, both good and bad.

GET UP! YOURE ASLEEP AT THE DESK!

How come I could figure out how to sleep at my desk at Center Academy, but I always
bail out on my desks at home and tuck myself into bed? I should sleep at my home desk
(during night, not just day) too.

Animation Auteurs and Power:

The animation industry isnt known for power lists. I cant think of many people or artists
or writers who go into animation for the power alone, even though animation and anime
do give some people power, a few if not many. Im not counting Toonzone here.
Animation is more known for its innovation and auteur lists, as seen in Animation
Magazines anniversary collections. Auteur lists ARE power lists, whether its a list
about creators, producers, and directors, or about TV shows. I care more about wielding
influence and power in animation and comics than I could ever care about wielding such
things in my private life. Honestly, there really isnt a lot of competition when it comes to
becoming an animation power player. You either have what it takes to last, or you dont.

Epic Comics Literature:

The epic comic book is the highest form of comic book. Just as a work of epic literature
is the highest form of literature.

P a g e | 873

Creative Multimedia Prolificacy and Diversity:

If were talking about literature and art, if I derive a cumulative page count
between both mediums, Ive completed 3,000 pages of writing & art so far. Those
3,000 pages Ive done include sketches, poetry, essays, illustrations, concept art, blog
entries, tweets, books, journals, short fiction, fiction novel chapters, comic book
pages, ink drawings/sketches, gouache and acrylic paintings, digitally edited photos
and art, storyboards, scripts, screenplays, model sheets, production design, and
gesture drawings.

Title:
Im going to title my combined journalsManifesto and Commentarya new name.
From now on, Im just going to call it The Monologues. Currently, The Monologues
is estimated to be 1,800 pages and 3 Volumes long, with each of them being between
600 to 700 pages. Ill keep re-titling it and revising and editing it until something
sticks and its not too strongly worded.

Streaming Media Entertainment:

And when I havent been authoring chapters for nonfiction books and comics, Ive
been engineering and inventing my own source of my very own branded
entertainment: Streaming anime video online and on my TV! That helps pass the
time when Im not writing or drawing.

1/3rd of the time, Im writing

1/3rd of the time, Im drawing
the other 1/3rd of that time Im watching streaming anime and cinematic
videos online and on Roku and with my HDMI cable from mostly
Funimation, Netflix, and YouTube.

Health Talk:
It really is too bad my doctors are a bunch of sick, greedy criminals.

Obliviousness:
By now, I dont know what people associate with me, other than maybe troubled and
eccentric genius.

P a g e | 874

Backwards-Backwoods Culture:
Most television gets it backwards, and turns materialism into holiness and holiness
into materialism. It also turns Christ into Satan and Satan into Christ, in the eyes of the
dumbass public. The news and comedy programming does this all the time. Judas is With
Busey. On modern TV, Evil is now Good, and Good is now Evil. Thanks Viacom!

What I did:
What I did in 2011 So Far

I invented the mythology and franchise of Parallax and Mono Jubei.

I helped bring Personal Computers and Televisions together in Home Electronics

Harmony.

I got Japanese anime videos on YouTube.

Being Great:
Ive done vastly great, powerful, important, and influential things. Id like to think Ive
earned some downtime. I didnt even keep my laptop in my room on in this time of
victory. I shut my laptops power off, sealed it off in a plastic container, put it away. I
need some downtime. When you do things of this scope and vastness, you need some
downtime. Maybe even the rest of history. You never know.

No Headlines:
Yay! Im quite proud of the fact Im not in any official news articles, headlines, or press
release mentions. Im kind of glad Ive been around in the media as long as I have and
havent really drawn any real attention to myself. My track record is spotless in that area.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Building A Fantasy Warrior:
I like Parallax because it allows me to indulge my more physical side. Mono is basically
a Caucasian Martial Arts Technician. I made him a warrior not just because I like
warriors, but because I have internal violent and warrior tendencies I need to express
myself. I express my Violent Warrior Tendencies on the page, through poetic dance and
movement. Florida is a violent place. Almost as violent as New-Earth, the world Mono

P a g e | 875

lives in. I do practice martial arts. Im proficient at kicking, and Im getting better at
punches. Ive always kind of been into the Martial Arts and Wuxia. I just didnt know
about this desire to be physically active and fit in the beginning. Im tired of letting
myself get fat, fatter, and fattest. I believe in not only portraying animated motion and
violent activity, but harnessing martial action to achieve not only filmmaker and narrative
comics author status, but also achieve Zen fitness through the martial arts. A part of me
naturally rebels against sociopaths, sadists, and bullies. Half the time Im ready to start
fights and confrontations with them, just for being jerks.
You wouldnt hit a guy with glasses, wouldja?
Jackie Chan
Jackie Chan Adventures
But the truth of the matter is I like to use kung-fu, and martial arts for aerobic workout
purposes. Contrary to popular misconception, Shaolin kung-fu is not just for defensive
and offensive fighting, street combat, and self-defense. It takes not just physical stamina,
but mental stamina as well. Kung-fu and the martial arts are helping me become
healthier, more active, more fit, and assisting me in getting in shape. Losing weight, in
other words.

Reading Martial Arts Choreography Books:

There are three main categories of hand to hand or weapons-based combat:

Defensive Fighting
Offensive Fighting
Counter-Offensive Fighting

Shaolin Kung-fu, Tae Kwon Do, Jeet Kune Do, Tai Chi. Ive primarily studied these
forms of martial arts throughout my life. Zen and the martial arts are linked. At the
pinnacle of the martial arts lies Spiritual Zen Power: the complete synthesis of spirit,
mind, and body.
I use Kung-Fu in my workouts now for a few main reasons:

Keeping up health and fitness

Staying in shape
Losing weight in my body
Spiritual Practice
Choreographed auteur drawing (comics)

I dont really use it for defensive-offensive fighting

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The Action Writing Genre:

As Japan has proven, theres more than one way to skin a cat. Theres more than one way
to break into the action genre of filmmaking without having to master real martial arts or
write a full-on screenplay for a 1 to 2 hour live action, action film. You can spill your
violence and combat all over the page the way Akira Toriyama and Masashi Kishimoto
did with their manga. Fighting manga sells, so I guess Im in luck. Im finally getting my
energy back. My patented fighting moves workout, my Shaolin Workout is paying off.
Its giving me back all of my energy and vitality, and then some. I didnt lie down on my
bed half as much as I normally have during a day in the last few years.

Good Choreography, Bad Choreography. No One Achieves Perfection:

There is no such thing as perfect cinema and perfect comics, here, in Asia, or anywhere
elsejust good fighting and bad fighting; good choreography and bad choreography.
Every anime and manga is riddled with flaws in choreography, staging, and composition.
Theres no such thing as a perfect movie or comic book. Its all in the attempt. An
attempt that takes the most effort is the best attempt. Every manga and anime, and
traditional animated series is going to have its share of flaws, undetectable to anyone but
the creators of the scenes. No Japanese filmmaker of the highest caliber wastes his time
sitting back, hanging out in his apartment, and thinking, Gee, arent I just so perfect and
superior to everyone else. If they do think that way they will quickly be put to shame by
a filmmaker auteur that is more humble and less smug. I dont believe in my filmmaking
abilities. I believe in my ability to always improve, always evolve and work hard, harder
than a lot of people, and to practice and become competent in choreographic martial arts
like any other skill, such as drumming and painting. No one achieves perfection. Not
even Leonardo da Vinci, Delacroix, and Rembrandt achieved perfection. In their minds,
they were always flawed. None of the worlds Greatest People, so to speak view
themselves as existing without flaw. That line of thinking, a perfectionist outlook, is
dangerous. It can make you the laziest guy in the neighborhood if youre not careful. You
dont want to be that guy. Humility, not smugness, is a valuable trait to have as a
filmmaker and as an auteur.

Fight Scenes that Feel Asian:

I want to be one of the better new American comics and animation choreographers. The
number one element of my comics pages that still manages to give it an Asian feel
despite the simplicity of the designis the choreography of fighting and action scenes.
The fighting feels Asian. Very much so. The moves are very realistic and clear.
Theyre not stiff or squash and stretch like they are a bouncing ball, like John K or
something. In my imagery, you really feel the impact and movement. Its starting to go
that way, but its not entirely there yet.

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Favorite Fields:
What is my favorite academic field, you ask?
Martial Arts Film Choreography, Strategic Planning, Computer Science, Engineering,
Film, Philosophy, Martial Arts, Political Science, Music, Media Theory.

Types of Choreographed Battle Motion:

There are two types of choreographed battle motion in comics and animation. Two ways
to draw the panels and two ways to film, storyboard, and animate it.

1-Pose Fluid Movement, Freeze Frame1-Pose, 1-Drawing Key Framing, where

we only see one drawing. This creates clarity and fluidity in the viewers mind. /
Avatar, Boondocks.

Shadow ImagingShadow Image, Multiple pose/form ghost imaging, where you

have blurred motion, and multiple (blurred or clear, your choice) forms in one
cell/panel, and/or you create shadow images to create a frantic displaced feel. /
Dragonball Z, IGPX, Dead Leaves, Afro Samurai

In other words, there are different ways to approach and animate or illustrate fight
choreography.

Animation Test:
Been working on a 24-frame animation test, to test out effects patterns. Yup. Thats
pretty much it. Nothing super amazing. Just a pencil effects test. Laugh if you want.
Thats how I roll. I really dont care by now HOW people react to my whereabouts.
Technically Ive heard all the reactions before. At least this time around I know what Im
getting myself into and what to expect and anticipate.

Control Over the Monster That Is Work:

My work is becoming a monster. Its stressing me out! Stressing me out!! I cant get laid!
I cant find friends! Because my career.is a monster! My career is a monster thats
hijacked my life, like a terrorist who hijacks an airplane. Its scary! Its like my career is
destroying my personal life and all the relationships in it. My genius is destroying my
life. I dont know what Id do if something like Mono or Parallax became iconic and
mainstream. In a way it would definitely be a form of relinquishing Complete

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Domination over my fantasy world and brainchild. A novel, a Hollywood Film, a TV

Show, and anime, a manga, a comic book series, once you succeed in any of those fields,
your life is changed forever. In exchange for control over your inner world and vision,
you get six to seven figure royalty checks!if someone buys your idea. Thinking about
such things sort of overwhelms me.

100,000 Views: Empire of Power:

My online empire of power is getting pretty freaking big. So I guess I have achieved a
little bit of epic success. I have 100,000s of viewers on YouTube. And my likeness has
become famous. I have yet to see how this is going to affect my animation and comics
work.

Structural Approach:
My approach to media projects is structural. I teach myself to adapt to the format
structure of the medium first, do a whole bunch of random stuff and so-called filler and
amateur work in that format structure, and I keep filling the form, gradually improving
over time after long periods of hard work.

Learning the Structure by Doing:

To adjust to writing for TV animation, I teach myself to learn how to write and complete
one experimental, free form 24 page script, which Ive already done. Once you write 1
script, it tends to get easier to adapt to the format structure, and your career builds from
there.

Structural Completion: Titles:

Im an author (manuscript), a television animation screenwriter (screenplay / script), a
comic book artist (sequential art) and an animation creator (series bible), if were talking
about completed format structures. I still have yet to follow through with storyboarding
(storyboards), production design (backdrop illustrations), and character design (model
sheets).

Working to Live:
I really only manifest, as a presence, when Im doing creative or physical work. If Im
not working, Im not really there. If Im not doing the work, Im stuck in my room,
watching daytime TV and staring at the ceiling and wall. The only time Im officially
alive is when Im working in some form.

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Being Overshadowed:
All the attention is on the big names now: The Narutos and Bleaches and Barack Obamas
and Harry Potters and YouTubes of the world. Its kind of hard to break out onto the
scene when your colleagues content is that strong for the most part. No matter what I or
any of my creations do, it will get overlooked by one or more of those parties. I did pretty
well considering I was going up against such a notable crowd. Thats really all the media
wants to focus on is those five things. Six or seven if you count Google or Apple.

Aerobic Martial Arts Exercise:

Now Im getting creative with my exercise and physical fitness too. Martial Arts is the
next big thing in physical fitness and aerobics. Im addicted to Martial Arts Aerobics.
Ive already lost almost 10 lbs. in the last 2 weeks through Martial Arts Aerobics. Just
regular old kicking exercises. A small amount of punches. Mostly kicking, leg stretches,
and leg lifts, designed to reduce fat and increase the muscle and flexibility in my thighs,
gluts, and legs. Aerobic Martial Arts really makes you perspire and sweat if you work at
it hard enough. Perspiration is good because its an indicator you are burning off calories
and losing weight that you have gained over the years. And when you get older, that type
of thinghealthgets harder and harder to maintain as you get older.

The Nonexistent Perfect Life:

The Perfect Life is a retrospective myth. No normal people have perfect lives. All life
is imperfect, flawed, and full of suffering. Theres no such thing as a perfect life. Some
idealize their past life or someone elses life. Life only looks perfect when we look at
other people with lives that fit our definition of an ideal life. But real life is never so
ideal. Even an enlightened being, who is perfect in nature will not be equipped with a
perfect life to go with his perfect spirit. Just look at the Dalai Lama. He is enlightened
and incredibly wise. But the government from his own country drove him out.
Unfortunate.

The Blocks to Training:

Martial Arts Aerobics Training is much like drawing practice training and screenwriting.
Something I would spend 24/5 of every waking moment on weekdays doing, if only I
could. With Aerobics Training, my muscles tense up for days, which makes me back off
a bit, so I have to remind myself to get back into my work out a few days to week later,
and with drawing every day, I used to get fatigue and I still get artists block. And with
screenwriting I get writers block. Theres always triggers to block action, of some sort.
The key is toppling those blocks in your path, standing in the way of your Real Life
Journey. The Blocks to Training.

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Visual Story Beats:

Each story beat is going to need its own sequence of illustrations, refer to script, draw
thumbnails, and eventually panel-boards.

How to Write a Script:

You dont sit down and write a whole script from front to back usually. Thats near
impossible for most writers. Most of the time, when you write a script, you sit down and
compartmentalize it, dividing it up into sections. You write a script, one sentence and
action at a time. Eventually you generate enough verb action sentences and phrases that
you can compile an individual scene, or beat. Then you move onto the next scene. Until
you have enough material to make an outline that when fleshed out will last to fill up 26
pages of story.

On Justifying a Fight Scene:

Every fight scene is going to have a justificationThe Inciting Incident of The Fight.
Otherwise, it is merely gratuitous violence.

Self-Made Cameos:
Im also planning on making cameo appearances as certain characters in my comics. Im
not above being a self-referential fictitious actor.
Writing a Mafia Script:
Favorite Screenwriters, in the case of Yazurai?
Quentin Tarantino, John Woo, Yoshiyuki Tomino, Katsuhiro Otomo, Mario Puzo
Each TV Episode Script of Parallax and Yazurai is about 1/4th the length of a Tarantino
Pulp Fiction script.

Successful Screenwriting Formula:

My formula for my series of script is simple: Fight, Dialogue, Story, Fight, Dialogue,
Story. Rinse. Repeat. Simple as that.

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Reference Script Material to Buy:

Purchase Them All
Greatest Action Screenplays:

Star Wars Trilogys 1 & 2

Pulp Fiction
The Seven Samurai
The Matrix Trilogy
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
The Sopranos
The Godfather Novel
Gundam Novels

Things I want to Build the most:

A script page
A Storyboard Thumbnail
A Comic Book Panel Composition (copy others)
A comic book page
A Pencil Illustration/Design

Iconic Branding Contributions:

Mono, Jen, Nosferatu (my 3 most popular characters), my trenchcoat designs, my dual
wielding design, and myself are huge staples in entertainment, media, and pop culture
now. Were all archetypes. Prototypes. Often imitated. Im more okay with this now than
I used to be.

Contributing an Archetype to World Pop Culture (Otomo Style):

The real cool thing about the archetypes I created is the fact that their public presence is
powerful, constant, and ubiquitous, particularly for something that isnt corporate and
thats independently produced. I can turn on the TV at any time of the day and night on
my favorite channels, or even ones I dont like, or on sites like DeviantART and
YouTube, and see the influence and presence of my design archetypes running out in the
world at full force. I can point to it, and say Hey! I designed that! I really actually get
the privilege of watching my ideas and designs come to life on screen, and take on their
own specific look and personality. Sometimes I dont even feel like I have to complete
my project task, like someone already did the work of manifesting it in animation,
comics, videos, or websites for me, where the building of it, making it real, and

P a g e | 882

manifesting it, has already been constructed by someone else far away somewhere in
Europe, Japan, Atlanta, or Los Angeles. Its kind of like Ive already created a franchise
of imagery. Or my manifestation partners in crime have. In other words, Ive contributed
something big, entertaining, profitable, and important, even if my name isnt on it and I
dont get credit for it, its still a contribution. I know I did it.

The Power of My Presence - Taking Stock in the Mythos Empire I Built Myself:
Im falling in love with the fortitude and ubiquity of my own empire/franchise/lore and
mythology. There seems to be a lot of it floating around TV and the internet. Ill find
traces of my work in many things. Its almost like magic. But, it also provides iconic
fortitude and presence, and I like that. Couldnt have achieved that without the internet.
Ive come to realize I can claim or categorize everything thats technically inspired by
me. Theres still that myth that I dont contribute jack shit to anything, and I can live with
that, because I know better. When artists copy from other artists, theyre not going to
send them an invitation or email, but it will get noticed. But yeah, my non-commercial
franchise and mythos is ubiquitous. I can finally enjoy some of that good old fashioned
Powerful, Fortified Scorpio Presence Ive been hearing so much about. Kind of like how
Bill Gates made Microsoft and Ted Turner made modern cable, and everybody uses that,
so too are my contributions utilized in a Herculean, Fortified, Powerful, and Ubiquitous
way, with presenceeverywhere. But perhaps on a bit smaller of a scale, at least so far. I
did help popularize the entire mediums of both streaming video and the internet in
general. Im proud of that fact.

Public and Private Career:

There is a fine line between living a private life and producing public entertainment
work. My career is public. My life though, isnt.

Finger on the Pulse:

I know, instinctively what the public wants, unlike most other people. I know
instinctively what they want to see. That is why so many people plagiarize me. They
think that by them giving the public my ideas for me, or by proxy, they think thats a
niche or something. Kind of a silly notion. It only works when I give it.

Sleeping Pills:
I took my nighttime medication early, because its the only reliable thing I can use to help
me sleep.

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Blockage:
Ive got artists block for one of 2 reasons:
A) My skills are Failing me
B) I have in the past been attempting to conform to a style or vision that doesnt
represent who I really am as an artist. Im trying to hard to conform to my fans
expectations and their concept of how I should design things.
Uh, yeah, Im guessing its letter B. Of course.

COMICS: ISSUE 1:
Comics Issues #1 & 2 are now completed and at the printer. Slowly but surely, over many
failed attempts, Im slowly teaching myself how to draw and print my own comics with
no dialogue or story for the most part. When I reach Randomosity Comics Isssue 5 Ill
have had 100 comics pages drawn. Thats great.

Experience vs. Perfection

Comics are a lot easier to draw when the printing quality standard isnt perfect and high.
Id much rather publish shit and gain experience by getting better at it through doing it
than I would just working in isolation and never printing anything the whole time.

Self-Publishing vs. Competition

Im going to release Mono Comics, Comics, and Randomosity issues is the same way
Ive been releasing Manifesto and Commentary books: By working at it every day or
every other day, and publishing a chapter or few chapters at a time. Easy enough.
Ultimately, the reality of the situation is the competition is never going to work as hard as
I do at their craft. Theyre more than happy to cheat their way ahead of people like me
their whole lives.

Domestic vs. Outsourcing: Showbusiness Style:

Im one of the few American producers of anime storyboards and character designs that
arent outsourced to foreign contractors. Im instinctively good at attention to detail,
effects, layout, character design, and fight design.

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Loss of Faith in the Western World:

The less innovative and high quality the American market is, the less faith and belief
young people will have in have in the American animation and comic book markets, the
more fortitude and business its going to lose to Asia in terms of both an art and a
business. Its past time for the West to start innovating again.

Tokyopop and Funimation, and the Firing of an Employee Who Emailed Me:
Both Tokyopop and Funimation seem to at least like giving the superficial impression
they like me. Whether or not they actually do is quite another topic entirely. But I do
know Tokyopop is losing lots of money on manga, and fast. A lot more than Ive lost on
digital content, or that Funimation has lost or gained on anime. And whats the deal with
one of their editors getting fired right after she replied to my email. I cant help but think
theres some hidden agenda at work there. That no ones told me about, and probably
never will. Maybe this is just proof of the industry folklore that says stuff like, even
talking to him will get you fired.

Publishing Plan Re-Strategizing: I need a Mead Scanner The End of my webcomics?

Its a shame really, how that whole thing ended up. How I can no longer showcase the
Mono Saga as a webcomics anymore, because its just too many pages long. Its too
longwinded to fit entirely on the internet. All I can do from this point on is let the pages
sit around in my house, and hope the artwork doesnt get damaged with time. It will make
a fine traditional comic and /or manga series, and a fine graphic novel and trade
paperback series, but its too epic and big to fit into a neat little website gallery anymore.
The scanning time alone would be a nightmare. I guess I really am ending up like
Katsuhiro Otomo and Masashi Kishimoto / Akira Toriyama. Isolated by my own
endurance and the density of my work. I guess people are just going to have faith in the
idea that I know what Im doing, because I cant take them through it with me step by
step anymore. The time for that form of showing off is over. My project wont fit on the
internet. It would be tedious and boring to click on a website 500 times when you think
about it logistically. Its much better just to flip through a printed copy of a paperback.
Goodbye web 2.0. Hello print world. Big changes are happening. It turns out I have no
choice but to make Mono Comics a traditional comic book series. Thats me in my
element. Function like Hiroaki Samura or some other author with a lot of narrative visual
storytelling power and endurance. Im going to miss showing off on WCN. Katsuhiro
Otomo. Osamu Tezuka. Toriyama. Dave Sim. Todd McFarlane. Jeff Smith. Craig
Thompson. Rob Schrab. The truth of the matter is, the more work you finish, the more
dense your books get with pages, the less likely you are or will ever be to do a webcomic
after the fact. To say nothing of all the political rivalry between the two mediums. Ive
got to accept the idea of not being a website that no one visits, but instead a big giant
book, that sits on a shelf, lonely, that no one reads anymore, collecting dust Cant really
say Im entirely pleased with either fate. There are the merely productive but very

P a g e | 885

beautiful onscreen, and then there are the Herculean and Super-Prolific not-so-pretty-tolook-at. I guess Im often the latter. I didnt want to accept the weight of that
responsibility, easy into the job title of prolific author in the public eye in some way, but
even as late as just now Im just now coming to accept my fate as a dust collector, crease
accumulator. Im going to miss webcomics. But Im pretty sure Ill really like the world
of mainstream literature. This is quite a departure for me, as the man who never runs out
of Things to Say, of Products to Produce.

Encroachers:
Ive given nearly all 27 years of my life to comics, so to me it feels quite insulting when
some Hollywood types of the last 2 to 3 years descend upon my beloved medium and
they actually feel entitled to dabble in my personal territory superficially, particularly
those who dont have any real talent in that area. It truly disgusts me. They want to turn
comics into a get rich quick pyramid scheme or whatever. Truly disgusting. Also,
another disturbing trend: Anime seems to be attracting a lot of narcissists lately. People
just totally in love with themselves.

$90 in Cash
I have around $90 at my debit card disposal. I have $90 in cash, but Im going to be
depositing it into my debit soon. Not too bad. Im not sure how much the Japanese art
books will cost in total. Probably half that, if you count shipping.

Running on Empty:
I think I may have finally run out of art and design ideas. I spent a solid 10 years of my
life doing nothing but generating ideas nonstop. Now Im fresh out.

Parallax:
Most Development:
Concept Art
Character Design
Main Idea
Least Development:
Production Design
Script
Fight Scenes

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Comics Pages

Being the Cultural Best:

I have the most developed High Science-Fantasy Concept in the state of Florida, the state
I live in. Im quite proud of this. Florida isnt exactly known for its fantasy authors and
filmmakers. Those notes of mine for Parallax could change Florida as we know it in
terms of historical contributions. Too bad Florida has such a bad creative reputation. Its
not known for, well, me. Ill say that much. Yep. Its pretty much the opposite of that. No
one visits me anymore, other than Chris or Johnny once every so often. Florida is nothing
like the overcrowded cultural hubs of Tokyo, Fort Worth, Atlanta, New York City, and
Los Angeles, where creative Big Ideas are a dime a dozen. I could actually make money
marketing locally and independently.

Shallow Peers:
With my peers in comics, it really isnt about writing OR drawing. You can always tell
who really likes drawing and writing: By how much they actually do it. With some
artists, you can tell they dont really like drawing: Theyre only obsessed withglamour,
publicity, leisure, PR, celebrity, getting paid, royalties, fame, power, money, gossip,
ridiculing their peers, groupies, fans, sex, drugs, rock & rollall that stupid shit.
Anything but the actual drawing.

Drawing Process: What Really Matters:

Anyone who enjoys drawing or writing purely for the love of drawing IS the most
important artist out there, because the vast majority of artists deep down dont care about
art. Otherwise, if they did, theyre stack of drawings would actually be half as tall as
mine or taller. But it isnt.

Flaws of my Earlier Drawing Process:

Talked about it too much

Getting ahead of myself
Putting the cart before the horse
Worrying about things that wont happen until years later
Not Enjoying Drawing in an of itself
Writing here in instead of drawing
Overplanning

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Retrospect:
Its true. I got brainwashed by my own planning phase, and tricked by myself into
overplanning. It killed my potential.

Life Gets in the Way:

Life has blatantly gotten in the way of my internet and creative work. I cant pursue
comics or animation and be stuck in a nightmarish social life like this with such evil!
Identity Theft:
Im probably going to be getting some identity theft protection. By choice of course. I
strongly suspect a lot of people are trying to steal my identity in some way or another:
Especially my face. And if no one truly is stealing from me, none of them will have
anything to worry about, simple as that. But I suspect the identity thieves might have a lot
to fear if Lawyers and identity theft protection companies step in and play referee. Or if I
hire lawyers to do such a thing.

Quote:
Maybe he just doesnt have enough skill
Maybe he loses interest
Maybe life just gets in the way
But for whatever reason
He leaves his dream of making comics Behind.
Scott McCloud
Understanding Comics: The Invisble Art

List of things to buy:

Japanese Art Books
Travel to L.A.
Patent Attorney and fees
Identity Theft Protection
Things to inquire upon
How to patent an idea and get representation
How to format an invention design
What is necessary to sell an idea

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List of things to do:

Patent my ideas
Pitch Series to Network
Travel to Los Angeles
Buy Japanese Art book
Get Identity protection
Get Debit Card authorized
Deposit into Debit Card
That is what Ive decided. If I dont make it as an artist, which I havent, Im going to
focus on becoming a screenwriter or Tech Engineer Architect.

Big Influence: My Influential Contributions:

Since I pretty much made watching streaming anime online possible, if you count all the
sites people let people upload and watch that kind of animation, people using the Flashbased technology thing I invented, my technology has been able to reach a lot of people.
This is where I live up to my title of Architect and Master Builder, because the area of
online video I engineered and thus made possible has reached billions of people
worldwide. And most of them dont know Im the guy that made it as easy and possible
as it is to begin with. My influence began in 2005, and has been growing by over 1,000%.
My technology broadcasting innovations influence has been witness by billions of
viewers on numerous websites. I could never charge money for that type of service. If I
tried to profit off of it or claim it publicly for my own there would be a huge backlash,
and my engineerings influence wouldnt be one of the worlds greatest. So I dont end
up as Time Magazines Person of the Year or make the Time 100 ever during this
lifetime. Big deals.

Adding on to the Handiwork of Giants:

When you think about it: Osamu Tezuka created the genres and markets of anime and
manga as we know it today. Mary Shelley created science-fiction. Tim Berners-Lee
created the web. Ted Turner created modern cable TV. Tivo created DVR. Steve
Wozniak created the PC. I created the genre and market of streaming anime video online,
in 2005, on YouTube. Once you create a whole new medium, I guess you can kind of rest
on your laurels, even if youre not getting paid. This power of mine is something thats
my secret. I dont brag about it online for the most part. I dont brag about it to anyone.
My power is a secret known only to me and my parents, whom Ive told. Big business
doesnt seem to be aware I am the inventor of that medium-genre of anime: Streaming on
Flash-based software. The Japanese studios dont seem all that aware either, because they
never bothered to research or investigate YouTubes uploading history of who uploaded
what when.

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Getting Paid (Finally):

My new hobby is accumulating money to my debit. Mostly through helping people take
care of their house, and social security. In the future, Ill be getting monthly royalty
payments. A percentage of the sales.

Royalty Checks:
I know a potential future source of compensation: Monthly royalty checks worth sums of
money, for years on end. And all it takes is a major sale of something I own. Monthly
royalty checks, and finished work are really the only two miracles I need.

My Real Job:
For me, because animation and the arts are so competitive, its like a playground to me. I
can play with it all I want, but Im not going to get paid. The appreciation isnt there. And
it probably never will be. Fortunately I have science to fall back on to succeed in. Ive
already show a prominent career in the sciences already. Its really just a matter of
growing that success out further. Animation and anime are one big scam. They sell a
false dream people without resources will never realize or live out, even if they sell their
souls. If you want to get into animation, prepare for NO HOPE. Youll probably have
more money and no direction than a dream of working in animation. Animation is career
suicide. Disney and most of Viacoms animation is blasphemy a sin against God, not to
mention nature and society. And Viacom and Disney well aware of this fact, too. Behind
closed doors, theyre more than happy to fess up to how amoral and fucking horrible all
their shows. They know what theyre doing behind closed doors, and as long as the
public doesnt turn on them and they dont get caught, theyre going to keep attempting
to get away with it.

Rivals:
I think the two biggest offenders in terms of the devaluation of my content would be
Viacom and the internet. Viacom is trying to do to me what the internet has already done
to it, most likely as a form of proxy revenge, because they think Im more closely
linked to Google and the internet than I am. Theyre not just hoping Ill turn on
Google. Theyre counting on it, even if they are right about the internet devaluing my
content .The internet HAS devalued much of my content, but so has TV. Pretty much
anything of mine they know about, they devalue, intentionally. The internet DOES
devalue careers, money, American currency and business, and content. Google is
devaluing everything else, in exchange for inflating itself into an (most likely) illegal
monopoly. Google, doesnt just want to be A choice. They want to eliminate me and
others as an option and be the only choice. Im glad I left.

P a g e | 890

Public Priorities in Public:

The first thing, the first priority, on my mind, will always fail to be realized. My first
priority is often what ends up being the target. Animation is public. My other hobbies
arent. Therefore I need to adjust my plans accordingly. First priority of my agenda
should always be the thing Im not planning on succeeding at. Im not planning on
surviving in the art world, so Ill make that a first priority. First priority gets hacked
into and spied on. First priority gets hate drawings and hate mail. First priority has to deal
with the assholes at Time Warner and that panda guy. First priority (i.e. art) gets screwed
royally, by the media and the authorities. So Ill continue to act like art is priority1.

Low Key Money:

Im going to maintain a low profile. And my bank account is going to have an even lower
profile. Itll need it.

Rich (and Poor):

If I get rich, the media will just overemphasize how broke everybody else is
And if I go broke, the media will brag on behalf of all the people who are richer than me.
Very lose/lose. Oh well. Doesnt change my reality.
Speaking of which,
So I was watching 60 Minutes and they were doing a TV news special report on my own
home town, Seminole County, about all the people who recently became homeless here.
Kind of makes me think twice about my s.s., Google, and potential royalty
paychecks.Kind of. Actually, I think they all live in hotels downtown in certain areas. I
havent seen a lot of homeless people out on the street, to be quite honest. I guess
Seminole County really is officially a shit-hole ghetto now. Not surprising. Ive been
saying that all along anyway. Not really much I can do about Florida. Florida is a mess.
Very much turning into a ghost town, just like Michigan, my other hometown other than
Illinois.

Discrimination:
There is a lot of persecution and discrimination in Florida. Not just of minorities. Not just
people of any nationality or political party. But people who are different in general.
Everyone wants to box everyone else in. Nicole Cook didnt judge me. Johnny Bartlett
didnt judge me. Chris Hess never judged me. Phil Ferretti never judged me. Peggy
Alberts doesnt judge me. They dont see me as a skin color. They look at me as one of

P a g e | 891

them, with unconditional brotherly love. My skin color never registered with them. They
didnt even pay attention to something as shallow as the pigment in my skin. And yet,
when growing up in Florida, Ive gotten so many hateful glares from people who see my
tan skin and think poorly of me for it, who look at me with glares, with hatred in their
eyes. Half the time I forget my skin is tanned. But they never forget. They want to lump
me in with whatever group they unconsciously associate me with and often hate. For a
long time I didnt realize some people would hate me just because I wasnt exactly like
them. That some people only want to hang out with people who look like them, people
who talk like them, people who belong to the same religion, sex, or nationality as them.
Im not that discriminating. I look at the content of a person, of your character. I like
white people, but I also like black people, Asian people, Arabs, Muslims, Christians,
Jews, Indian. To me theyre all people. Racism does seem to be on the way out. People
who discriminate arent as boastful as they were 50 years ago. Im part white, and Im
part Arab, but I dont believe any race I belong to is a superior race just because I belong
to it. I dont believe in seeing the people who match my category as being better than
other categories. God didnt design us to naturally think that way. God doesnt want us to
only like the category we belong to. His Hope, His message of Change is for us to all
belong to one synthetic category. I dont mind homeless people. A lot of them live pretty
close to where I am. I was unaware of this until I saw it on TV. Completely changed my
view of what homeless people look like. Usually when you think hobo, you think white
fat or skinny black drunkard carrying a sign and cleaning your windshields. A stereotype
I know, but then I saw all the homeless kids who now go to the school I used to attend
when I was their age, and I didnt realize homeless people included entire former-middle
class families of three, four, five, or more. Really makes you think.

Parallax, YouTube, and Tech:

Parallax, YouTube, my tech engineering, and my journals will all be part of the Empire
of my Legacy. Like any historic figure, Ill be leaving a good, big Legacy behind.

Fame and Confrontation:

The more famous I get, the harder it gets to avoid direct confrontation. Kind of sucks.

Voices:
I have a lot of not so much hateful, but strange thoughts throughout the day. They make
good literary prose.

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Chapter 34

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Monday, March 07, 2011

I have a few career goals:

Create, Write, and Executive Produce a cartoon series

Get a Parallax universe Wikipedia branch
Get listed in the Internet Movie Database
Make it onto Animation Magazines Auteur List

Thats about it.

Pursuing Science and God:

There are two areas I am pursuing with equal vigor and enthusiasm: Technology/Science,
and God.

A Lacking Support of My Career:

I used to have a very supportive network of peers and friends in my life who would
encourage my artwork. Now no one does. Ever since I got involved with Hollyweirdo, I
havent really gotten any support. As a matter of fact, Ive attracted nothing but critics,
rivals, and competition who have this public delusion of me being more famous and
powerful and charismatic and socially active than I am. What kind of support is that?
Without support, youll never finish your book.

Being an Early Design Pioneer:

Got a call from my friend todayChris. He mentioned that he views me as a sort of an
early pioneer in production design. One of the first people ever to do it (in my particular
way). Thats a term I could get used to: Production Design Pioneer. In my own opinion,
Im also an earlier pioneer of animation and comics fight sequence drawing and
illustrated fight choreography, as well as costume design, and online video.

Oliver Edwards: Character Profile:

Oliver is a bona-fide boy genius: Hes 13 years old, strikes out with nearly every girl
he meets, and dabbles in Magic and Science, reading from spell-books, and travels
to the local science laboratory in Britain to invent mechanical devices and pilot giant
robots that the government funds. Hes a scientist by nature and wears thick
rimmed Buddy Holly glasses and wears a white labcoat and has short crimson red
hair. What he really wants to do for a living when he grows up is watch cartoons
and play video games, professionally, as an animation-video-game journalist, and

P a g e | 895

work as an editor or contributor to a famous animation and/or video game

magazine. That is his starting dream.
The Archer Houyi and the Suns:
In 2009, my friend and Mentor completed his first major animation project since working
at Hannah-Barbera Productions, Inc. and Cartoon Network in 1994.
Info:
Based on popular Chinese mythos and folklore, The Archer is a short film, done in 3-D
Digital Animation, done in a style that looks quite influenced by Chinese and Japanese
art and animation. Phil Ferretti, a peer, colleague, friend, and mentorwhose
qualifications for the animation industry and experience level surpasses even my own
worked on the film with the local in-house staff, as a consultant, an art director, advisor,
and production manager.
Review:
Im just blown away by this film. Im surprised he had a collaborative vision that
powerful in him. And I got to take lessons years ago from that guy! The coolest part is,
certain elements of his stylistic animation style actually seem influenced by my own
design work. Its flattering. I really appreciate the sincerity of his work. Its won
numerous awards, both local and national, or international. The film is a masterpiece of
animated filmmaking. I cant get over how beautiful it looks! How very anime-like! I
think hell continue to go very far if he maintains that standard of quality in his work, and
Im guessing, at some point he will. Until I saw that film, it had been so long since I had
seen him behind the scenes working in the industry, I was this close to assuming he had
retired from animation completely to teach instead. He surprised me. Its so great to know
hes still out there. Phil Ferretti is my new favorite animation art director next to Genndy
Tartakovski working on Samurai Jack and the Powerpuff Girls. The Archer Houyi is a
truly stunning work of fantasy most likely made on a very small budget, smaller than
most well known animation film, be it anime or Pixar.

Making it in Showbusiness:
I did a lot of fretting over my future project submission to one of my favorite studios. I
believe in the saying nothing ventured, nothing gained. The worst thing they could say
to me is no thank you or no. But at the very least, my project pitch submission (the
refined and condensed version, will get reviewed. And will people really get to see Mono
Jubei on the web before they see him on TV? I know Bang Zoom has a concierge. I dont
know about my potential future collaborator. Assuming my engineering skills dont pay,
or my animation career works out, this show idea of mine could make or break my career
in showbusiness. A lot of people think AnimeTV was that for me, but not exactly.

P a g e | 896

The Thing Is:

AnimeTV was sort of something I sort of got involved in and did because I like anime
and anime dubbing.

Returning to Art:
Philip Ferretti and my productive drawing sessions drawing mindfully, as well as Bang
Zooms Concierge services and William Street making an effort to win me over again
have renewed my faith in my artistic anime and manga career. Inventing can wait for
another day. Im returning to designing everything under the sun, for animation and
comics. Ive discovered what was missing from my drawings in the last 6 years: Focus in
my drawing technique. Sketch focus. Hyperfocusing on what Im doing, on the line Im
putting on paper, on what Im seeing that Im drawing, and focusing on the direction and
weight/crispness of the line, have all contributed to my spirits being raised again. Well,
that and cutting down on the internet communities.

Having Trouble Focusing:

Ive also found out that public opinion is affecting the outcome of my drawing sessions.
If theres a lot of negative media attention, I can always sense it, and it throws my
drawing technique off. My introversion and emotional and sound sensitivity can
hinder my Drawing Focus. It kills my focus, and makes me a lot less focused. The
result: Crappy Design. If Im not focused and unable to concentrate, on what Im doing at
my desk, my skill level drops to 1 or 0 out of 10. When no ones focusing on me, Im
inconspicuous, and Im not the toast of the town or the buzz of Hollywood, my skill level
is at 8, 9, or 10.

Being on Center Stage with Parallax:

Parallax was designed and conceptualized to be an entertainment science-fantasy
action experience first, and an animation/comics project second, to paraphrase a
Japanese producer or director (I forget which). Thats how Im presenting it. An
animation project will take fewer drawings on my part, but Id also have to share the
success of my project if its animated. Its an idea. A concept. Im developing it, and
revising it. Whether it ends up being a comic or a show, it will be finished at one point,
and no matter what medium or format it ultimately takes, it will be an adaptation of an
idea, of a concept, of source material. The conceptual idea I created. Im the creator and
main character designer no matter what medium my concept of Parallax gets adapted
into.

P a g e | 897

Refining the Storytelling Abilities:

Im itching to storyboard my own animation sequence story reel / animatic. Telling
stories with pictures is a skill Ive wanted to hone for years now. Mostly, my specialty is
character design, costume design, choreography, storyboards, layout, and animatics.
Im also getting quite a bit better at screenwriting.

Herculean Storyboards and Layout:

The thing is, I actually WANT to take on Herculean Art Production Tasks, as Dave Sim
has with storyboards and Otomo Katsuhiro has with storyboards-layout. My End Game is
to one day match their level of industry in some way or another. But its going to take
every last ounce of effort Ive got to reach that level. Fortunately I have the extra free
time to pursue this career goal.

Storytelling and Shadow Walker:

I havent really talked about the Shadow Walker manuscript much. It turned out better
than expected. It is part script part novel, part first person, part third person. Not bad for
my first real attempt at a script. It was mostly rearranging older philosophy and narrative
writings and literature of mine in script format. Eventually Ill get around to writing some
new script pages. But I the meantime Im going to re-use older writings.

Favorite Prolific Animation Screenwriters:

Savin Yeatman-Eiffel (90+ Scripts)
Aaron McGruder (45 Scripts)
Yoshiyuki Tomino (Gundam Novels, Concept, and Script)

Areas That Have Reached a Satisfactory Production Quota:

Script
Production Design
Character Design
Storyboard Panels
Fight Choreography
Production Planning
Sword and Costume Design

P a g e | 898

Unsatisfactory
Animatics
Animation Reel
Color Scheme

Contemplating Success: Action and Financing:

Daydreaming about, planning on, and fantasizing about success, recognition, wealth,
fame, and power and all the other rewards of success like leisure and comfort is fun and
allGod knows Ive done enough of that last decadeBUT, in all likelihood, it isnt
going to get that script written. It isnt going to build and design those character model
sheets, now is it? Thoughts dont bring about action and financing. Action and financing
brings about action and finance. Just like money, it takes action to create action. Its
called momentum. Objects at rest tend to stay at rest and all that.

Screenwriting Experiential Advice From a Pro:

Even if youre planning on writing a lot of scripts in the future, you still have to construct
your way to that goal and build up to it. Dont start off by tallying up how many pages
you actually write (in my case, at the beginning, it was 1 page, but it led to a lot more).
Focus on the story, action, dialogue, narration, atmosphere, and descriptions, dont focus
on page count. The less you focus on how much work youre doing, but instead just
keep working, the more youll probably do.

Putting Your Life Into Your Work. Giving Everything Youve Got.
I put my whole life on the page. My writing, my art, I give 110% all the time. I give it
everything Ive got. The biggest risk I take is I put my soul, body, mind, intuition, genius,
vision, and business know-how into every major project I work on. Someones got to
notice that authenticity candidness eventually, dont they? Much of the time it can be
hard to separate my work from my self. I put all the intellectual and physical energy,
momentum, and power I have into my creative and intellectual projects.

The Social Disease Gets Out of Jail:

This is the kind of thing that happens when you let people like Hitler Jr. out of prison.
Japan gets destroyed by an earthquake and tons of people in Asia die. Way to go,
American Justice System. What a brilliant track record youve begun.

P a g e | 899

@Pray4Japan:
I hate to sound like Obi Wan Kenobi and get all psychic, but I sense powerful forces of
darkness at work here. Almost like someone, or some THING, is attempting spiritual
warfare on Japan and China, and spiritual warfare is hard to defend against. But the real
question is, who is responsible for orchestrating this spiritual warfare, and can it be
stopped and found out before its too late and half the world collapses? 1,000s of homes
are being lost. 1,000s are dying.

Start to Finish: Pre-Production: A Step-by-Step Guide:

1. Make a plan to write a script.
A: Begin Writing Script.
B: Continue and
C: Finish Script.
1. Make a plan to storyboard:
A: Begin thumbnails.
B: Sketch Panels
C: Finish Boards
2. Make a plan to draw layout documents:
A: Sketch cities
B Finish drawings of cities
Continue this formula and I might actually get paid one day. These forms of work will
seal my integrity.

Easy Money. Easy Work:

Character designs, Layout, Storyboard, Script: Got it. That works easy. Or at least, its
going to be. For layout I draw cityscapes, for storyboards I draw comics pages, for
character designs I draw Mono, and for script I cut and past stuff. Go for the easiest thing
first man!

Power Fantasy. Comparative Assessment:

Scud: The Whole Shebang is probably the closest in format to the kind of book Im
planning on doing. But every time I open it up and look at the artwork, Im disappointed,
and unimpressed. Every time I look at the interior artwork, it feels crude and old to me,
like if I really tried I could do something a Thousand Times Better. Something
Dragonball-&-Akira-Esque. With lots of power moves and power imagery. What I really
want to do is Power-Fantasy, or just a Powerful Vision. I dont really have an integrative

P a g e | 900

name for what I do yet. Im leaving that up to fans and the press. What I do doesnt have
a label yet.

Film Storytelling. Directors and Storyboards: Subtle Camera Shots: Pause-&-Draw:

The Best Directors and Storyboard Artists have a genius for subtlety when they are
creating their cinematic camera shots, angles, and compositions. When watching their
shows and films, hardly if ever, are you ever conscious youre watching camerawork.
The camera shot techniques remain subliminal and subconscious. It takes a lot of effort to
spot them when youre watching TV. It takes a lot of pauses of the DVR and DVD player
to catch the camera at work. Your mind, if youre just enjoying the show or movie,
doesnt automatically spot which camera shots and angles are being used. One of the best
ways to spot layouts and compositions of camera shots and angles on TV, DVD, and
DVR is to pause the TV on a notable camera shot and angle of some kind, and copy the
proportions of its contour and or details in a rough copied composition on a piece of
paper, whether its a thumbnail, a medium sized storyboard, a comic panel, or a whole
page. Copy what appears on the TV screen. Its a great way to learn how to compose
shots. As a filmmaker and director, this is necessary training and prep-work. A good
camera or good camera work, is almost always invisible and undetectable. No matter
what is happeningin the story, narrative, character development, visuals, or dialogue
if the director is successful youll never notice what types of shots the crew used in their
story.

Camera Shot Glossary:

Camera Shots

Wide Shot
Medium Shot
Close Up
Extreme Wide Shot
Extreme Close-Up

Camera Angles

High Angle
Medium Angle
Low Angle

Montage-Aspect

Establishing Shot
Montage Shot / Aspect Angle (Close Up, Wide Shot)

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Language:
The only languages I really speak are camera composition shots language (in manga,
anime, animation, comics, TV, DVD, video games, and movies), script and screenplay
formatting language, fight choreography sequence language, and computer engineering
and science language.

Elements that need refining:

Production Design: Cleanup on Cities and Buildings. Clean Layouts. Not

scribbles. / Medium Skill Level
Script and Outline: Needs more related and connected outlines. Needs finished
first-script or prototype script that finished / Easiest Skill Level
Description of world: (Needs more refining and developing, Character
Descriptions, Biographies of Characters) / Easiest Skill Level
Character Design: (Cleanup, Polish, Model Sheets, Size Comparisons, More than
one Character on a page) / Medium Skill Level
(optional) Storyboards: Cleanup, Camera Shot Cognizance, Telling a Story With
Visuals, Action and Fight Choreography Abilities Testing, Staging) / Hardest
Skill Level.

Inside the Mind of a Young Master:

The Manifesto and Commentary Volumes, my Journals, are really a study in genius and
power as it develops in adolescence and isolation inside the mind of and in the head of an
eccentric loner. A designer, and a builder. A Young Master in his Formative Stages.

DVD Authoring (Usages For):

I know what kind of DVDs I can produce and author.
I can produce academic, tutorial, and instructional DVDs for friends who want to be
teachers, or who already are teachers. And I can author DVDs of short films my friends
like Phil make.

Christopher Paolini (a real life actual age-related peer):

The young, successful, and famous fantasy author and peer Christopher Paolini, as it
turns out, was born on the exact same date (Month, day, year) I was November 17th,
1983, under the same sign (Scorpio/Sagittarius). Hes the author of the Eragon and other
novels.

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The Physics of Fighting:

Anime Timing. In anime action choreography, nearly all main acts of violence, show the
impact of the blow, slowed down and right after it happens. We see the resulting physics
of the impact after it makes contact.

Uses Computers:

The web 2.0 Industry

DOESNT USE COMPUTERS

Hollywood
Comics
Other

Right and Wrong:

WRONG!!!

Web 2.0 / Computers = Someone else can take credit for it without your
permission. Idiots can send you malware and spyware to gather intelligence on it
in an attempt to look smart. Insider manipulated by outside running forces.
RIGHT

Hollywood, Comics, Traditional Business / Non-Computer Industries = Privacy

Maintained. No competition. No media disaster. No competitor spies. Travel.

Screenwriting 101:
Im 20 pages closer to earning a six (maybe even one day, seven) figure salary. Just 6
pages or a little less or more to go until I reach the format minimum: 26 pages and my
first spec script is complete.

Success:
My planning isnt all misfire. I have actually accomplished some of the things Ive set out
to do.

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Living the Dream:

I thought Id be so much more enthusiastic about reaching my goal, but ever since Ive
started actually reaching my goal of making a lot of money and finding work, its taken
such a large amount of work, and drained me of so much energy, I cant find myself
getting excited about being closer to Living The Hollywood Dream than ever before.
This job has become such a job, its draining me of my enthusiasm. Nonetheless, sooner
or later, my job will be complete, then, I send stuff out, and, if that goes well, I
negotiate my fee.
Screenwriting Experience:
Finally figured out how to make a script word-processor out of Microsoft Word, with a
little help from the online Jeffrey Scott tutorial.

Early to Be Early to Rise:

Ive got some outlines, beats, scenes, and dialogue to write. But Im in dire need of more
first and third person action narrative description. Its 2:21 on a Monday morning and Im
going on no sleep last night, which was 2 hours ago.

Screenwriting 101:
Either no one knows Im successful applying newfound willpower as a screenwriter, or
no one knows. Writing scripts is just about the second easiest form of work for me to do.
I can format a script to TV and film industry standards anytime I want. Format isnt the
problem. Its the material. Its deep and at times action packed. But it lacks direction and
needs more subtle transitions between story beats. The story needs to be more coherent.
The real secret is to just sit down and write every last thing you can think of. Destroy
everything in your path. Sort out the bodies later. That sort of thing. For now, just get it
written. Fortunately, I find screenwriting fun, and find a lot of enjoyment in what little
amount of screenwriting Ive done so far (35-40 pgs).

@Twitter:
When I think about community, theres @thejillthompson, @Todd_McFarlane,
@scottmccloud, @evandorkin, @stulevy, @lheiskell, @svetlania, and @ebertchicago.
And me, @BlackSwanDragon
My Twitter contemporaries. Most of them dont really seem to follow me much if at all,
but Im always interested in following them on Twitter.

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Bibliography:
Im now an author of books and comics. I finally put up a bibliography of titles on my
personal website, jmstrebler dot com. Its hard to believe I already have my own
unofficial author biography. Well, I did compile it from my stack of self-printed
material.

Everyday People:
Over 200,000 people die every day. Over 200,000 people are born every day. Really.
What makes you or me so special anyway? Existence is the most common commodity in
the world. If youre only achievement is I exist, then I hate to tell you, but your life is
probably pointless if youre not on any kind of a journey.

The Un-famous Jobs:

Authors, engineers, inventors, Scorpios, INTPs, Rationals, screenwriters, production
designers, costume designers, scientists, technologists, and web masters do not generally
win over the public with charisma. These are not jobs to take if you want to attract ass
kissers, because you wont attract any. Or groupies for that matter. Nor fame.

Emulating Others to Be More Professional:

Hmm. What kind of things can I do to be more like the peers in my life who are more
successful than me, that I admire. How can I be more like Todd McFarlane? Or Evan
Dorkin? Or Lance Heiskell? Or George Lucas? Or Roger Ebert? How can I be more
professional, like they are? Honestly, I really just want to know what theyre doing right
and what Im doing wrong, other than the obvious stuff everyone already knows about.
For instance, are they all proud? Are any of them proud? Do they get angry a lot? Are
they rude to fans or nice to them? Do they use email much, and if so do they respond to
unsolicited messages? Do they brag and boast a lot, or not at all? Do they go on and on
about their own accomplishments? Ive been known to do that in the beginning. But I
curtailed it. Does the media always watch them? Are they hounded by the media, or
ignored by it? Do their neighbors insult them the way mine do me? Do their parents make
fun of them the way mine do me? All these questions, and a lot more, I wish I could
answer.

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Completed Manuscript:
I finished writing the first or second draft of my first completed book manuscript of
experimental fiction tonight. I worked really hard on it. I feel like I can finally be at ease.
I reached a major milestone today, the completion of that manuscript. Its a first step and
first major milestone like that Ive been waiting for. Im a ton closer to making a living as
a writer.

Are You Making a Living Off of Your Art?:

Phil sent me an email, but Im not going to respond, not to his main questions. All hed
probably do would pester me with questions that are ten times more helpful than anything
my parents could ever say to me, and ten times harder to explain. Questions like Do you
have your own place yet? Are you making a living off of your art yet? Questions I can
so faruntil I sell a projectI can only respond to by saying Im still on social security,
my parents hate me too much to let me live on my own, theres racism and stigma and
corporate saboteurs at Viacom at work against me. Explanations like that for why Im not
making a living (even though Im powerful and famous) that Phil might not understand,
or like to hear.

Things I already have:

All that I have left to attain can be learned through practice and work. I already know
how to write a script, and draw storyboards, character designs, costumes, fights, and
layouts. The only thing Im REALLY worried about is not having the will to follow
through with it. But actually I already have that too.

Kung-Fu Goth:
In a way, Im kind of a kung-fu version of Tim Burton and Jhonen. How do I do this, you
ask? I ink in a lot of black, and draw a lot of fighting poses, mostly from my imagination.

The Current State of Animation:

How has making an animated series changed over time? Well, I know the basics of
how to produce animation, but theres a lot more people working in animation than just
producers, like directors, screenwriters, voice actors, animators, editors, and storyboard
artists. Is making a show in the second decade of the 2000s at all similar to making one in
the 90s? Do people even still submit TV show ideas to studios and networks anymore?
Or does every kid just take to the internet streets for tricks now? If so, thats a shame.

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Master Studies
Sources of reference Material:

Hong Kong Martial Arts, Japanese Action Anime, in slow-motion and pause on
WMV Player.

How To Draw Fighting Books, Samurai Pose Book, Firearms Book

Roku Pauses. Drawing poses based on them

Fight Choreography: The Art of Nonverbal Dialogue

Not Google Images (for the most part). Not recommended.

Exercises: Light box, pencil, tracing paper, rotoscoping, Master Studies

Copying Comics: Trade Paperbacks, Compositions, Character Design and Art

Showing the Japanese Production Design Book to Corey:

If Corey is still on board for my project(s) in the future, I have the loveliest Japanese
Production IG production design Japanese-market-only art book Ive got to show him. I
just know hed love it. Ill assign him to study various scans of the book and replicate
such textures in his own design, in his own design language of course. I plan on working
very closely with Corey as one of my main animation crew. I trust him with my design
and creative vision quite a bit by now.

Good Manager:
Generally, a good artistic supervisor knows what he wants, he knows how to delegate
talent. Best case scenario of me working with a voice actor or artist is, they dont waste
most of their time rebelling against me, the tyrant.

Twitter and Humility:

Friends of mine are counting on discretion and humility from me. I wont say who I think
it is, but theyre counting on me to be discrete and humble, so be it. No twitters for today.

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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Artist or Author?:
FROM THIS MOMENT ON, I am dedicating myself exclusively to being an artist full
time. For the next few weeks Ill be testing myself. In the next month or 9 months, Ill be
writing and screenwriting all of the time and drawing none of it. Drawing is for real
artists. Right now Im not a real artist. Im an author. An author of many subjects. This
should free up some extra editing, revision, and brainstorming time. I will still allow
myself to look at art and appreciate it, but Im not going to fret myself to death just
because Im doing only/all writing and not supplementing any new artwork to match.
Besides, I kind of hate drawing; it makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable. The
writers who get the most done are the ones who dont multitask, who write 24/7 without
pursuing art part or full time as well. The INTP in me wants to be a writer of all sorts, and
the INTP in me is what pays my bills, so of course I listen to it more than the right
hemisphere of my brain.

Screenwriter vs. Author:

Theres a reason Im pursuing the status of professional screenwriter over status as an
author. It comes down to money. Screenwriting often pays a lot more, particularly if
youre involved in more areas than just writing on any particular project.

Genres I write scripts in:

Animation
Action-Adventure
Martial Arts
Science-Fantasy

Work Day:
Facing off against my word processor is almost as fun to me as watching TV episodes of
anime, or looking through art books. Its fun to sit back and work while watching patterns
and a form emerge.

Requirements:
Things writing novelization outline takes: Concentration, Diligence, Control, SelfDiscipline, Willpower, Practice, Training.

P a g e | 908

Screenwriting:
My 2nd Draft Spec Script (Vol. 1) is looking much better; much more appropriate for
television and comics. I trimmed its fat down from 100+ or so pgs. to 26 pgs, or 1
episode.11 of those pagesor almost halfare purely outline.

Writing vs. Art

Art is popular. Literature isnt. I accepted this reality a long time ago. Why WOULD it
bother me? It never really has. Otherwise Im sure Id be more stressed out than I am.

Departments of Interest:
Since Im nothing but a writer now, Im going to compile a list of departments Im not
currently involved in (but was at one point) on my current project:
Production Design (Layout)
Character Design
Storyboards
I dont work on any of these art-related departments currently. Already did a boatload of
work on them before this point.

Strategic Next Steps to Take:

Continue NOT TO draw or use internet every day.

Read/revise/rewrite (3 Rs) Spec Script/Outline. Scrutinize it carefully, see if it
reads well
Martial Arts Aerobics
Read Chinese Choreography and Cinema books

How to Write a Script:

Strategic steps to take with script

Step 1: Rewrite Script

Step 2: The script is not always coherent. Connect and create the missing
parts/elements of the various scenes I have already written.

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Saturday, March 19, 2011

The positive message in fighting: Rebellion Hero:
Theres almost always a genuinely positive message behind action movies, even when
there is an ocean of violence on display on the page/screen. And that positive message is
Fighting, but Fighting is a metaphor for rebellion and the act of not taking majority
oppression in Americaor anywhere elselying down. The message of Action is
Fight. Fight Back. Fight The Man. Fight The System. Fight The Power. Fight Evil and
Corruption, and Racist/Tyrannical Bullies. Anywhere and Everywhere.

Inciting Incident: Action Story, Justified Action:

The Inciting Incident of every great, story-driven, and Hero-based action movie is always
going to be the conflicting incidents and plot points / beats created by Injustice and
Oppression against the little guys, the untouchables. As long as you build your plot
structure around the fight for freedom, equality, and real peace and prosperity, and not
evil, you have the formula for almost any good action and action-adventure script

Secret of finding fiction in real events and facts:

Look for the verbs.

And strong verbs at that.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Shouldnt:
You know, one thing Ive learned is that a person should not live their life around
shouldnts. You shouldnt do this. You shouldnt do that. You shouldnt sign this
contract. You shouldnt do business with that guy. My whole young adult life, all my
adoptive-parents can tell me is what I shouldnt do. But if you let shouldnt rule your
life, youre destined to miss out on a log of good things you probably SHOULD do, when
all is said and done. Thats my philosophy anyway.

20% Complete:
20% of my plan has been realized. Only 80% more left to go and manifest. But Ive made
it 20% of the way to the finish line. And some of the tasks involved in realizing and
reaching that 20% completion were not easy.

P a g e | 910

Boring Repetitive Life:

The days are going by WAY too slowly. Every day is exactly the same. Every single day
its the same thing. The Alberts Household living patterns and biorhythms are like
clockwork. Its like waiting for the earth to rotate around the sun. The most boring life in
the world. I hate it. Ive got to find a way to liven things up in the long run.

Being Invisible:
I use closed doors, walls, my reclusive ways, and blinds around my house to create and
no PR photos or webcam appearances to create a wall of invisibility for myself. Im good
at the whole Being Invisible thing. I know how to Vanish and Disappear at will. a

Making Money:
27 might very well be the age I start to earn a profit and make money for myself. And
maybe even tons of it! But its going to take 6 months to 1 year of savings.

Youth and Entrepreneurship:

27 is a pretty young age to be a successful entrepreneur.

Staying Competitive:
All of the young guys working in my field are around 5 years older than me, or their all
founding web companies. No one else is doing what I do. No one else knows how to. Its
my trade secret I guess.

Moving Up in the World:

Like it or hate it, Im going to probably be a lot more powerful by the years end. As a
matter of fact, theres a good chance Ill be at my most powerful level yet. But enough of
this power talk. I need to plan my future business and building strategy. Im actually
building real projects now. Ones that actually affect the status of things (not just indirect
influence by proxy and things other people can take credit for). As I get older Im going
to be doing more and more powerful things my peers cant always take credit for.

P a g e | 911

I.P. Owner:
I like owning IP. Its really great.

Notable People:
I actually like TIME Magazine. I always love to flip through the Notable Person Lists Im
never making, and probably never will make.

Dont Want to Go Back:

Dammit! I dont want to go back to animation. I dont want to go back there. You cant
make me!! I refuse to be tortured, sexually harassed, and humiliated by evil fans again!
Fuck no Im not going back to that NIGHTMARE! It was like a concentration camp of
intellectual proportions. Thats kind of what animation and TV is: A psychological and
intellectual concentration camp, and the people running the operation are the Nazi War
Criminals. Basically.

Having Patience and Wisdom or Lack of It:

One of my key characteristics is my absence of patience. Im impatient. I have a lack of
patience. I was a very impatient young person. Part of why I used the internet so much
was because it shows instant results. The internet is addictive to impatient people the
world over in the media. Why, because on some level, the more input you give out at
once, the more instant results you get. TV and Hollywood dont really work like that.
Most people who use the internet are actually very impatient in nature. Particularly the
artist types. They want Everything simply Handed to them (Right Now, or Else!) Age and
Experience dont just teach us wisdom. They teach us patience. Older people are
generally more patient than any and all young people. Young people, kids and teenagers,
dont know how to wait around for anything in all honesty. Adults drive the world. Kids
dont do anything close to that. Youth-centric networks make me a bit uneasy because
they pander to kids, and kids dont have any patience OR wisdom.

Fading Fame. Obscurity Here I Come:

My web presence is fading. Its disintegrating, and Im quite proud of this achievement.
No one talks about me anymore, my fame is disappearing, but that in my eyes is an
incredibly good thing, because I was never comfortable with it or really wanted that fame
to begin with. I havent been to any of the websites I dont like for any long amount of
time for at least 1 to 2 months.

P a g e | 912

Being Offline for a Long Time:

Ive been off of the online forums and DA since at least the middle or beginning of
October of last year, 2010. Thats at LEAST 6 months or half a year. Bottom line, Im
starting to develop some actual real patience. Finally, I have the virtue of patience.

Blockage (yet again):

Powerful opportunities, media attention, and potential wealth, all on my behalf, has
probably given me a bad case of screenwriters block; and readers block. Success makes
it hard to work.

Unavailability:
Im not really available during the day. Its the evening and nighttime when Im available
to address the public.

Japan Tsunami:
Im going to build my own creative industry and dynasty, right out of my own home. I
love Japan, but I dont want to interfere in their market at this time. Chances are, with the
tsunami, they might very well end up resenting people like me, the fact that it happened
there and not here. I really dont know HOW Japans going to react to this new disasters
effects, if theyll accept assistance from the outside world. If they want my help, Ill give
it. But whens the last time Japan has really actually wanted my help, other than my
favorite anime and manga creators, and even then a lot of the ones who draw really well
simply hate me. What of them?

Quitting Normal TV for Video:

I shouldnt underestimate my willpower. If I dont want to watch normal TV anymore,
eventually I wont. Just like when I didnt want to go on the worst message boards and
communities out there, so I stopped going. Once I stop doing something, I stop doing
something. It should free up a lot of time for other activities. No one even watches
regular TV anymore. No one I know does. All my family and friends are surfing the web
and watching DVDs

Changes in the Dynasty I Built:

Its not that I dont like YouTube, the Internet, Cartoon Network, and Anime like I used
to. I still love them all to death. But theyve become so much more epically successful

P a g e | 913

and bigger than me, I feel like I cant even keep track of them anymore in terms of the
community and business. Its too big. I cant keep up and keep track, let alone participate
with my peers. Success in a field, at my levelwhatever that level may bechanges
thingsIt often feels quite overwhelming.

Somethings On TV:
OK, so cable TV is actually pretty good on Saturday Mornings and Late Nights: Within
one timeslot, on Saturdays is Naruto Shippuden, The Venture Brothers, The Nickelodeon
Airing of Ghostbusters the original film, and Samurai Jack. All between 11 and Midnight
of Saturday! I just cant say no to a programming strategy like that. I was flipping back
and forth between Disney XD, Nickelodeon and Nicktoons, Boomerang, and Adult Swim
like crazy! Thats the kind of TV watching I live for. Daytime watching is hardly ever
that fun lately.

Google Power Rank:

I gained some Google Power a few days ago. As it turns out, Im the creator of the
second ranked result (my blog entry) out of 44,000 results for American Animation
Mecha Design or the discussion of Mecha aesthetics in American animation, to put it
another way. That is the power of rank and priority, both on Google, and with a specific
topic. Not sure if that adds credibility, but it sure does make me happy.

Favorite Areas of U.S.-European Animation Production:

Fight Choreography
Character Design
Screenwriting
Costume Design
Show-running
Directing
Production Design
Storyboarding
Mecha Design

Striking Gold:
My Google mindshare (in this case, its with mechanical design) seems to already be
proving I know how to look in places most people havent yet.

P a g e | 914

Macabre Fantasy:
Also, I like my share of Dark, Macabre, Black, and Goth anime and manga, like what
CLAMP and THORES do. I can appreciate stuff like that, which shouldnt be surprising,
considering Im (according to Katushiro Otomo himself) one of the Tezuka-esque
founders of the Dark Gothic anime sub-genres current state, what with my webcomics
and Mono (voiced by Steven Jay Blum), Mr. Black Trenchcoat Dual-Saber Wielder
Himself. Thats a famous look now. Just look at the current cult-trash hits of the moment
Sucker Punch, or Kick-Ass. Those movies probably suck, but theyre both very intense
and highly choreographed, just like Parallax and Kill Bill of course. And Mono is also
inspired by Kill Bills Uma Thurman as The Bride when shes having the sword battle in
Vol. 1. Tezukas Black Jack and Dracula and McFarlanes Spawn are my Lords, so to
speak.

P a g e | 915

Chapter 35

P a g e | 916

Sunday, March 27, 2011,

Cultural Icons and Revolutions of 2010-2011 and Beyond:

Barack Obama Presidential Inauguration

YouTube Attains Worlds Largest Audience
Chinese Economic Rise
Facebook
Twitter
2011 Arab Protests
2011 Tohoku Earthquake and Tsunami

Total Output:
I have over 1,200+ Microsoft written Word Documents/folders on my 2 PC databases. A
whole lot of writing.

Things to collect:

Writing
Production Art
Songs
Videos (TV Shows, Movies, Commercials, Music Videos, Promo Skits)

Words, art, and video are like water now. They flow in abundance. Its like trying to
make money off of selling water; Theres just too much of it. Theres enough of it on
places like YouTube, Hulu (video), Google Images, DeviantART (imagery), and
Wikipedia, Amazon, Google (words) that it can fill up an entire ocean with content to be
given out freely.

Finished my first anatomy-fighting sketch Ive done since I started reading the Chinese
fight choreography book Fight Choreography: Non-Verbal Dialogue, and the
improvement is drastic! MY anatomy is getting easier and more realistic. The limbs look
of reasonable length, and Im starting to feel like I understand fight anatomy and design
quite a bit better! Significant first step, because this book represents a rather large shift in
the size of my knowledge about staging and design as it relates to motion on camera and
fighting. The How to Draw Manga: Fighting-type books dont really represent as
realistic of an approach. The knowledge of Fight Choreography: Non-Verbal Dialogue is
not only enlightening to the choreography layman. It presents a realistic approach to
planning fight sequences, even if only on the page.

P a g e | 917

Speaking of fight choreography, if I do have a martial arts consultant on the Parallax

show, my first choice pick for martial arts and fight scene consultant, the gem of
Parallax, would be John Kreng. Hes a lesser-know, but still quite amazing ChineseAmerican choreographer and martial arts master. Id want him to supervise the
movement, staging, fighting, kinetics, and motion of my fight scenes, and provide
reference video for animators and storyboard artists to use of the behind-the-scenes DVD
mini-features you can find on Samurai Jack and Avatar: The Last Airbender animation
DVDs. It would depend on how interested John Kreng would be about working on an
animation project, one led and founded by me. Could I afford a Master that good, or am I
going to need to go with someone else who is more obscure and easier to find? I will one
day find out.

There, finally established a domestic art secrecy policy around my house. This will
save my work from a lot of motivation-killing criticism and skepticism in the long run.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011,

Payday is 1 day away.
The Official Bruce Lee Jeet Kune Do foundation/organization is following my tweets!
Twitter, TV, and the martial arts go well together, if you ask me. I like my martial arts
Twitter friends. I like all of my Twitter friends and the people I follow, just about. When
did Twitter get this popular?
Trust sells. If people trust you, if you prove to them youre trustworthyas opposed to
jumping at them with sales gimmicksthen theyre more likely to buy from you, and
you only. And people will only trust you if you dont come across like a pitch man. Or
they find some kind of perceived benefit in following your advice, buying from you, or
even just listening to you and what you have to say. Delivery is everything. Selling and
marketing is like acting. People will recoil and decline you if they think youre forcing or
pushing it. As opposed to selling by example. If you dont use your own product in some
significant way, on a personal experiential level, how in the world are you going to
convince anyone else to do something to benefit you if youre not doing it yourself? You
wont convince them if thats the case, thats how.
I got around 46 drawings done yesterday, thanks to the agreement I made with my mom
to not show her any of my artwork. She really helped me maintain my creative secrecy, at
least in terms of my art.
There is no set drawing or written page amount for a writer or artist to reach. The only
real quota in being a writer or artist, in terms of how extensive your body of creative
work is, is really up to you. Its whatever you are comfortable with. Some authors only

P a g e | 918

create a few pages over an entire lifetime. Other authors create 100,000s (OK, one author,
just about: Osamu Tezuka).
Though I did draw a lot of art yesterday, with some of its quality being excellent, I seem
to be having some trouble getting started today. Am I still fatigued and/or burnt out and
procrastinating from yesterdays remnants, today? Theres a strong possibility.

Im a bit ambivalent. I have mixed feelings about scripts and screenwriting. I like holding
a finished script in my hand, yet at the same time a part of me is deeply uncomfortable
with the work process and manual clerical labor that goes into getting there. Im not big
on all the hard work that goes with the territory. But honestly, whether its storyboards,
comics pages, or a script, the scrap-booking and method seems to work best for me
(where if I collect enough pieces of content Ive either found or made in one place, the
form kind of constructs itself. See Law of Attraction) Its like a big puzzle I enjoy
putting together. The pieces are already there, but its my job to put them all together.
Im going to use The Law of Attraction, in my writing, RIGHT NOW.

I WILL write a killer script.

I WILL write LOTS of killer scripts.26 26-page episodes or more.
I WILL draw some killer production design layouts.
I WILL storyboard some killer action and story sequences.
I WILL draw for recreation AGAIN!!!! YEEE-YAHHH!!!

Is it just a TV show or is it a lot more important than that?

So really, all I have to do is do the following; I will draw a killer layout schematic. I will
write a killer script. I will draw killer storyboards.

Layout
Storyboard
Script

Got it! Fucking finally I remember what Im doing. I really hate it when I overcomplicate
and over prioritize things. Kind of gets in the way of the inspiration need to work.
Step-by-Step Process on Next Page
Script:
All scripts have a beginning, middle, and end. Theres the inciting incident of the overall
storyline, each story arc or episode, and each action and fighting sequence.
[Theres:]

P a g e | 919

Setup (Introduction, Exposition; Act I),

Conflict (Events, Action; Act II),
Resolution (Finale, Closure, Completion, Act III).

Layout:
Ive got a strong sense of mood, atmosphere, setting, and ambiance. I must establish that
in as much vivid and texturally 3-Dimensional Detail as possible.
Storyboard:
This conveys the action, motion, movement, and content of the story, and establishes the
cinematography, camera angles/shots, compositions, shadow, and lighting of my show.
Structuring storyboards involves:

Camera shot reference chart

Thumbnails

Creator Commentary:
This formula is structural storytelling at its best. Story must have some kind of format
and structure to succeed. It really cant and Shouldnt just be jumbled and thrown
together, otherwise people can tell. But it also needs to unfold naturally across time and
space without the audience feeling like its being forced on them, otherwise that shows
too.

Im getting paid $180 in the next 2 days. But most of its going towards my future
attorney fees.

My task of a show, a comic, and a system may be big, but I will deal with it 1
paragraph/drawing at a time. Thats how I write my books and draw my comics: One
sketch, paragraph, drawing, thumbnail, and a page at a time.
Its easy to get overwhelmed by your own epic. That is why you will approach it in short
bursts, one panel at a time, in terms of comics/storyboards. And I will take constant
breaks for play and free time, where I watch Chrome Shelled Regios and watch other
DVDs Ive bought recently, as well as reading fun books.
Theres not need to be so All or nothing about everything. Im tired of wearing myself
out with fatigue on starting and preparation. Thats silly. I will learn to chill and take it
one small and easy task at a time, just as I do with this journal.

P a g e | 920

I need to think more realistically about my artistic process. For starters, how much work
and time is one episodes worth of script or storyboards going to take at a time. Is 1 page
a day too much to ask of myself? How about one page? I will work on my animation
storyboard and scripting process in short bursts. I got a page of storyboards done in one
day before. The art wasnt very impressive, but storyboard art usually isnt impressive, so
nothing surprising there. Everything will go according to plan.

How Much I Have Finished and Complete

(Rough Draft Phase)

Script: 30 pages

Layout: 50 pages

Storyboard 140 panels

My comics are kind of shitty, kind of awesome. Drawing from DVD footage on a laptop
computer screen definitely helps establish proportions and size, as well as anatomy and
fabric.
Lately, Ive been tracing images and poses / pose shots out of my How to Draw Manga:
Samurai book and ripped episodes of Rurouni Kenshin. Theyre looking pretty awesome.
Drew 130 drawings in less than a week. I was looking through some of my old work,
some of it was actually very good. Not much compared to what I can do now, but still,
rather good.
Ive lost my connection to the everyman. I used to have that. I lost touch with reality.
And Im scared to return. They can smell your fear out there. And Ive got lots of sweat
and fear.
Ive done enough art for today, and for this whole season probably. Though I will do
more, I think Im gonna call it a day.

P a g e | 921

Schedule:
Morning:
Pokemon Live, CN Action Live, Bakugan Live Broadcast, Beyblade Live Broadcast /
Hub Morning / Noon Fix (Morning Adventure, Noon time Cutesy Shows),
5 Hour Energy, Eggs for breakfast, Waking up, Dealing with brother and parents
Afternoon:
Tolerating mother and brothers 6 hour long tantrums. Drawing routine, Writing.

Evening
Non-CN primetime. Nicktoons, Speed Racer, DBZ Kai, Invader Zim.

Nights / Overnights
Non-CN movies and documentaries.
Transformers, Aqua Teen, GI Joe

Adult Swim, Hubboom! Robot Chicken,

None:
Phone with friends, partying, leaving house, day jobs, paydays, sex (never heard of it),
girlfriend (Dun have one), Wife (dun have one). Mommas Boy (I am one).

Parts that make the graphic novel Extra Epic:

Martial Arts
Dialogue
Travel
Shootouts
Drama
Costumes

P a g e | 922

I live in Florida: One of the most violent, aggressive, disturbing U.S. states in the entire
world. There are a lot of violent activities and news stories in this state, and a lot of
crime. Even on the street I live in. Florida is one of the least peaceful U.S. states,
according to a new study. No one smart or likeable really wants to live here. Especially
not in this house other than me, but I dont want to live here, so theres that.
----Nothing from this point on can be taught in a textbook/book yet. Its all brand new. This
means I could be in for either some great success, or some nasty surprises no one has ever
actually had to deal with before, like living in this house or something like that.

Joseph M. Alberts
Biography
1983-Current
I am an American citizen, I speak perfectly fluent American English. I was born and
adopted in Ann Arbor Michigan, in Ypsilanti County, adopted by adoptive parents Cary
and Peggy at the University of Michigan Hospital, and grew up in Kankakee Illinois and
Casselberry, Florida. I have hidden genetic lineage that traces back over many
centuries to Great Britain, Australia, and Mongolia, Berber, Tunisia, and Morocco
numerous centuries ago. My biological father was at one point an automotive
manufacturer according to his death certificate, and at another point a Trappist monk
according to my biological mother. And thats just the beginning of my life. I attended
Good Sheppard preschool in Maitland, Florida, where I met one of my 2 best friends,
Chris Hess, and after that, Casselberry Elementary (Elementary) School, in Casselberry
where I still live. In Elementary School, I excelled in writing and art, and got very good
grades and high praise from all of my teachers. After that I attended South Seminole
Middle School, where I grew into adolescence, was tested to have an I.Q. of 130, was
placed in gifted classes for English and Science and made new friends, and met lots of
fellow classmates. Thats where I met my other best friend, Johnny Bartlett, and excelled
at English and drumming. South Seminole Middle School didnt have any art classes or
art teachers at the time (I think they still dont), so most of my drawing I did during
classes was done on my secretively on my notebook paper, where I drew secret cartoons
and comics I shared with my friends for laughs. After I graduated South Seminole Middle
School where I got mostly good grades, I then briefly attended Lyman High School,
which was quite intimidating to me. It was harsher, more aggressive, and harder to pass
classes in and had more bullies than South Seminole ever had. I had a nervous breakdown
and was forced to drop out of Lyman, and was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward briefly,
which no one knew about, and was relocated to a private secular, and infinitely smaller
high school, Center Academy, where I began to excel and actually make friends again.
One of my older classmates, Amanda Martin, coincidentally also attended Center
Academy. And because the environment didnt really have any pressure the way Lyman

P a g e | 923

did, I began excelling and getting good grades again. I graduated Center Academy as a
salutatorian, second in grades only to class clown, local hip-hop fan Norman. Upon
graduation from Center Academy, after a mid-sized hiatus upon receiving my high school
diploma from Center, I applied to and submitted my portfolio to 2 art schools, the
Ringling School of Art and Design, and the Art Institute of Ft. Lauderdale (AiFL). I
attended AiFL for a brief time where I met a friend named Nicole Cook, and lived in a
room with roommate John Miller. Once again, psychological disaster struck, as I had
another nervous breakdown in art school, and was taken out of art school by force, and
was forced to come back home from Ft. Lauderdale, to a psychiatric ward in Orlando, to
Casselberry Florida, by my parents, who were very convinced I was failing emotionally,
psychologically, and intellectually in art school, mostly because I neglected my
schoolwork and would loiter and socialize with dorm neighbors a lot at the Sunrise Hall
Living Quarters Apartment. My dorm neighbors liked me for the most part, and I was
popular in art school, a star at the school, but I was forced to make an early exit.
Upon returning home, I entered a dark period of my life where I lived in my parents
house to this day mostly, attended night classes in film, music, and art, at a downtown
community college. It was ground zero again. It was at community college where I met
my soon to be enemy/rival-for-life, that one guy whos name isnt going to get mentioned
here, who I got into a cyberwar with and who cyberbullied me, slandered and
cyberstalked me at all the places I went to quite a bit through the use of doing a look up
of my fathers license plate number by typing it into searches online, and used the
information to hack my computer with backdoor subseven Trojan horse viruses. Enter
nervous breakdown 3, which was a situation my parents and therapists thought was
mostly in my mind, even though the fact that evidence of his crimes were presented in
one of the issues of Rolling Stone I owned, a magazine issue which my parents destroyed
before I got a chance to see it in an effort to protect me from the truth, so I researched
the bullys name online who had been tormenting me, and found numerous articles about
how he got juiced up on steroids and killed his own friend in a pointless rage, purely
because this bully was a sociopath, and received a life sentence for it. Whether or not
the bully really received a life sentence is being debated to this day on TV shows and in
the media. None of them want to address the subject directly. And thus ended a newly
aquainted dark chapter in my life of dealing with nasty sociopaths. Other unfortunate
events of this period: Andrews failed marriage and fatherhood mishaps, and generally
miserable life, mostly due to his own survivalist tendencies. Some of my neighbors
constantly approached and harassed me and formed an alliance against me, all while the
cyberbully was trying to encourage them and the general public to endanger, humiliate,
and kill me through public execution, because he knew my parents were too blind to
sense his activities. 2002-2003 was a traumatic time for me. And a lot of new SelfProclaimed-Joes emerged on the scene during this time.
Later, I ended up writing online reviews for the TV show AnimeTV, hosted by anime
veteran voice actor-celebrity Johnny Young Bosch, and produced by producer Eric P.
Sherman and his anime dubbing studio, Bang Zoom Entertainment of Los Angeles,
where despite much difficulty, continued to pursue my career goals in entertainment,
animation, anime, co-productions, manga, and comics.

P a g e | 924

This was around the time technology entered my life, the year 2005, which started a new
chapter in my life entirely. A new, more successful and mainstream chapter.
2005 and beyond. The YouTube, Google, Digital Video, and Parallax years.
In 2004, I began work on what would become my would-be magnum opus and one of my
most popular projects of all time: Parallax, my comic-animation, that was heavily
influenced and inspired by my love for the aesthetics of action movies and cartoons,
manga, and anime.
In 2005, I also began experimenting with DVD authoring software, which was the first
example of my engineering skills put to work, when I made my own DVD of video taken
directly from websites and made into a DVD film I created at home from scratch on no
budget. And then a miracle happened.
Rolling Stone, which had helped me in the past, helped me once again a thousand times
over by making me aware of a new website that was turning normal everyday people
into worldwide Hollywood players. YouTube.com. This sounded intriguing to me, so I
went online to investigate. Lo and behold, what I found there was a fledgling website in
2003, YouTube that was openly accepting video uploads from anyone for anything at the
time. It made no mention of copyright or anime, so I figured what the hell, Ill give it a
try. Then without hesitation I began uploading much of the footage from my video
collection off of Adult Swim and Toonami sites, and leftover footage from my TVDVD I had produced months earlier. I WAS looking for exposure for my anime
filmmaking skills and YouTube seemed like just such an outlet. People took notice, and
the rest, as they say, is online and digital anime history.

I never really do forget a powerful verbal insult.

My hunches are golden the vast majority of the time. If I suspect something is the case,
then 98% of the time my suspicions, hunches, and intuitive deductions are exactly as they
seem. Yes, I am that powerful. Yes. I am that famous.

Mythology, Comparative Mythology, Willpower, Locus of Control, Monomyth,

Maslows Hierarchy of Needs, Hero Worship, Zen Buddhism, The Renaissance,
Meditation, Anime Hero Archetypes, Chinese and Japanese Cinema, Mythopoeia,
Building, Master Builder, The Butterfly Effect, Evolution, INTP, Astrology, Spirituality,
Transcendence, Ken Wilber, The Worlds 100 Greatest People, The Time 100.
Now that I think about it, theyre all kind of tied to the whole self-actualization thing,
arent they? These all have to do with the self-actualizing personality, and how selfactualization is tied to success of all manner of existence. The concept of bettering
yourself, trying to be a better person, trying to go beyond your limits, threshold, and

P a g e | 925

comfort zone, and become, perhaps turn yourself into something bigger, greater, and
grander than life itself.
Im currently reading The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell.

Monday, April 11, 2011,

My favorite personal treasure is my HTPC systems, made possible by my laptop and
HDMI cable. I already have the components of a laptop based homemade HTPC system
set up in the living room. And in the next month or two between April and May 2011,
Im going to have a primary or secondary HTPC system set up with the new TV Ill be
buying and setting up in my bedroom. Flatscreen HTPC set up in my room! Fug yeah! I
love setting up homemade HTPCs with HDMI cables. I dont think this is something
most people do. Not yet anyway. The HTPC setup process is too complex and
technologically advanced for the non-engineer layman to understandmuch like the
DVD authoring and video editing process.
Things the Layman Doesnt Get:

HTPC
TV-DVD Authoring
DVD-R, DVD-Recorder
HDMI Cable
Nonlinear Editing
WinTV PC TV Tuner

One day, well have TV channels openly simulcasting their station broadcasts to both
televised and live internet venues, commercials, promos, openings and all. The simulcasts
might not happen at exactly the same time, but after seeing what my Tuner can do to both
my TV and laptop in terms of the way it receives the signal, I know that time in history
probably isnt that far off, especially for smaller broadcasters like Cartoon Network and
Nickelodeon and the like. Standard cable companies and all that. Tuners are very
powerful. With a TV tuner, a private TV simulcast within a single room of a house
between a TV signal and a copied digital signal is already possibleIF you have a tuner.
Newest breakthrough invention concept:
A New Use for Simulcasts
Internet and HTPC Simulcast. Live broadcasts of all network content and programming
on websites and operating systems with streaming companies and websites like
Funimation, Netflix, Roku, and Cartoon Network / Adult Swim.

P a g e | 926

Just when I was getting the hang of my older technology, BAM! I conceptualize
something out of thin air, an unexplored brand of technology engineering that no ones
tried yet. Not in the way Im planning to.
But now that I have access to it, access to a Tuner, Im going to be experimenting with
simulcast PC engineering. Much like HTPC engineering, online broadcasting
engineering, and DVD-R engineering.

Maybe my technology does help. Twitter, Roku, YouTube, and all that.
What I mean is, I went to the dentist today, in the car downtown, and somethings
different about Casselberry and my neighborhood subdivision, Camelot. Suddenly my
city and neighborhood are peaceful again. You can travel from one place to another
safely. You can stop at a fast food place without any trouble. Police go after the cars that
are actually doing something wrong. Even the police are doing the right thing. Its Spring
now. Spring is peaceful. It almost feels like Peace, Harmony, and Prosperity have
returned to Casselberry and Camelot again. I just went outside not long ago, and it was
like something out of an episode of Pokemon: Clear blue skies, not a dark cloud in sight.
Happy smiling faces. No visible signs of chaos. I dont know what happened, but peace
has returned to my city. There was a big black dog right across the street from my house
when I left for the dentist. Big dog, but adorable. I havent been in a place this happy and
peaceful since the 90s! Technology really is helping the world, because Im sure a lot of
people in Casselberry are using things like YouTube and Facebook.

My horoscope says BIG CHANGES are in store for me, as well as a lot of physical and
emotional transformation. I think the feeling like a real adult thing was a huge part of
that.
Solitude is a double edged sword for me. Being in the house alone with no other human
presence here puts me at ease. I feel peaceful. Being in the house alone at night on some
nights with no human presence around can truly terrify me. Sometimes its peaceful
being alone. Sometimes its terrifying, like when 50% of the space in my parents house is
pitch black, and you cant see anything but pitch blackness through the windows, like
something out of a freak horror movie or scary news article. And when Yahoo news
intentionally puts creepy pictures in its Yahoo News rotation at nighttime. Really feeds
into that feeling of creepiness, terror, and fear. This house feels just a tad bit haunted or
possessed at nighttime.

There should be Google Books and YouTube type database websites for the following:
Philosophy books
Fantasy books

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Science-Fiction books
Martial Arts Films
Co-Productions
Chinese/Japanese Cinema

Phenomenology, Ontology, Existence, Non-Existence,

Being,
Non-Being,
Consciousness, Psychology, Existentialism, Self, Selfness, Selfhood, Ego, Soul, Spirit,
Awareness, Perception, Empirical Data, Empiricism, Subjectivism, Objectivism, Subject,
Object.

Science of Consciousness
Being of Consciousness
Objectivism and Subjectivism of Consciousness
Perception of Consciousness

Its kind of annoying when kids I dont know on the internet want to attempt to compare
themselves to me. This is, of course, because I am not a kid. Theres no commonality
there. Im still getting used to seeing so many people on the web being younger than me
by at least a decade. That strikes me as a littleodd that they actually expect me to treat
them as an equal when Ive got so many damn years on them. What could I possibly learn
from people with such a little amount of experience in life? Now that I think about it, Im
surprised my mother tolerated me for so long. Im 1/3rd her age! I wonder why she got
inspired by me, sympathized with me, and encouraged me all these years, when
technically I was nothing but an annoying brat just like all those other kids I see out there
now. Some adults get really annoyed and infuriated by kids. I am one of those. I dont
have the same kind of patience, admiration, and compassion for children people like
Oprah and my mom, Peggy, do. Females are more talented at sympathizing with brats
than males. I know that much. But now that Im getting older, Im beginning to feel less
and less attachment to thinking or being younger. Primarily because I dont have to be
anymore.

You cant please everybody, so youve got to please yourself

Song Lyric
Im not just creative. Im a cutting edge underground Eurasian-American Artiste. Im an
auteur, an unrecognized, frustrated, genius of the most intellectual variety. Nobody
listens to French genius, and I have some of that in me, quite frankly.
Writing an Outline:

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If you write an outline one step, one sentence at a time, from the beginning, middle, or
even end, the process pretty much takes care of itself. You pretty much just deal with the
story from one sentence to the next, one verb sentence to the next.

I feel much more at home as being a part-French artist, and part Chinese and part
American artist. I have no real sense of nationalism. My national allegiance is blurred at
best, unpatriotic at worst. But still, I look at French comics and I feel at home, like I dont
even have to ask them. They know exactly what Im trying to do with comics, their vision
is just like mine in many ways. Weird, detailed, crazy, and wild. Its French Formalism.
Just up my alley.

It is kind of weird having YouTube Anime Seniority. Its just odd knowing no one
thought to do something that important before me, and apparently no one did. In a way,
Im responsible for the existence of streaming anime, because nearly all of it started with
Adobe Flash being used for uploads of all videos to YouTube: The result? Streaming
video! Of all kinds! I did that! Lately its gotten so big that even my ingenious brain is
having trouble fathoming the scope of its influence on this world. So many computer
screens viewing this stuff. So many users. So many video files! So many views! How do
you take credit for something that becomes that epic? You cant really. At this point, the
amount of energy my power released into society is beyond my or anyone elses control.
While Im writing this, millions of people, if not billions, are utilizing the results of my
tinkering and engineering work online. Fansubs and AMVs are kind of my demented
cousin. I didnt create those, but theyre heavily tied to whatever it is I do.

Im actually becoming quite a big fan of not just American, fusion, world manga, manga,
Korean, and Chinese comics. Ive also become a huge fan of French comics. Im an
obsessive fan of famous world renowned French artists such as Moebius and Enki Bilal
(Blade Runner with Moebius and The Beast Trilogy with Bilal).
French Comics Im aiming to check out: Moebius books, Black Moon Chronicles, Bilals
The Beast Trilogy, Blacksad Blueberry, The Incal.
French comics and animation have a reputation for being texturally and aesthetically
detailed. There was a lot of French Aesthetic in 90s Saturday Morning Cartoons that
were associated with Warner Bros. (Kids WB!), and Fox (Fox Kids) in the 90s. Batman,
Bonkers, Goof Troop, Talespin, and Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers had a very
French/Blacksad-like feel to their design and general look. Anything Spielberg did in the
90s with animation looks like French comics in a stylistic kind of way.
My biggest international markets are really America, Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, Canada,
and France.

P a g e | 929

Im not an aspiring showrunner now actually. Im a former aspiring showrunner. Im not

good at taking the heat at all, and no ones got my back, so Im getting the hell out of
there. That probably means Im through with the ASMB once and for all. Im moving to
France to make comics, or something.

Technically, a lot of manga fans consider my work inferior lazy manga. But they are
wrong. And ignorant. My art isnt really intended to be Japanese manga at all. Its its own
category, kung-fu fusion comics, and French comics / indie comics. Not everything in my
comics needs to be layered, or in proportion, or on model, and it especially doesnt
need to be colorful, or even Japanese in nature. Its French-Belgium in nature. I can
easily allow myself to go off model with Mono. If I keep thinking I need to keep Mono
on model (whatever man), then Parallax will never become a reality. I draw
perspective-based sci-fi backgrounds, with cartoonish characters in the foreground.
Along with weapons, costumes, Notan lighting and martial arts choreography. Very, very
French, in that sense. French comics had detailed backgrounds before film (Blade
Runner) or anime ever did (AKIRA, Ghost in the Shell). Theyre some of the most
innovative comics in the history of the world. The very things I fantasize about and aspire
to do one day, are the same things Im already on my way to doing, regardless of what
my peers claim or say. Im already there. Eventually the whole worlds going to be
copying from me. Just as it did from Otomo Katsuhiro and Moebius. Ive got the
bloodline to make it happen. There are indeed other artists and business people in my
family who are also obsessed with art and business, and they start with my birth parents.
If I want to draw detailed, theres more to it than Todd McFarlane and Spawn and
AKIRA, even though, outside of Cyberpunk and Moebius, they do hold the contemporary
record for most kaleidoscopic modern images and production design. Ive got a genetic
bloodline that reverts back to the same origin as theirs and their heavy-handed auteur
styles: France. Best friends with Europe, China, and Japan. Genetic bloodlines and
origins give me quite the advantage as a visual designer. All I really need to retain is
confidence. Enough confidence to carry on with my art even when things are difficult.
Now that I know the truth, Im finally having time to realize itThat what I aspire to is
what I already am. I only aspire to that which I already have the potential to be, if I
havent already achieved such a feat without even knowing it already! I already am what
I fantasize about being, but it hasnt been amplified and multiplied yet, because I havent
really put the pure work ethic into my art yet the way the pros do. Once I do that, once I
get used to spending hours upon hours at one drawing at a time each, my art will look
that much more labored. My artworks look is a direct reflection of the time spent on it. If
I spend minutes on a drawing, its going to look as such, like I spent 5-10 minutes on it. If
I spend 2 or more hours on a drawing, or, if I have the energy, 5-10 to 20 hours or even
weeks and months on an individual piece, which Im planning on at some point, then its
going to reflect that powerful work energy level. To rephrase it, if I spend no time on my
art, or only a little time, it will show and be reflected in the work (my laziness and
ignorance of work). And if I spend a million hours on individual paintings, pencil fine art,
and pen & ink imagery and designs, its going to make me look like Joe-God (Joe is
God as my first art teacher Phil once said). So the answer to my problems is, have the

P a g e | 930

work ethic of a Franco-Japanese pro! If I do, it will show, and people will notice. Sooner
or later, theyll take note.
Newest Years Resolution: New Resolution of 2011: Work Harder, Work Longer.
If Im going to reach the next level, I need to return to 2000-2001 mode, where I spend
1+ hours or more doing nothing but drawing lines, rendering textures of the form, and
post rendering embellishment. I want to spend an entire day or more on one piece, one
page of art, doing nothing but rendering, erasing, and redrawing or in just plane finetuning the illustrations. Time to return to Romanticism, Cyberpunk, and Expressionism
Mode, or a combination of all 3. Spending an entire day drawing means Ill be spending
at least 2 to 4 hours at the drawing table, if Im spending a lot of the day drawing. Instead
of just calling a drawing done upon a first attempt of the form, there is going to be a lot of
refining to an otherwise low page count of drawings. You can spend more time doing
more, shittier unfinished sketches, or you can spend more time lingering on each
drawing, going back into it and layering it with textures, clothing textures, photoshop,
skin textures, backgrounds, perspective, anatomy, background patterns, gray white, and
black, and (later on) color. Im going to consult Donna and have her teach me how to
develop the willpower, stamina, endurance, and discipline to stay in whats
traditionally been an uncomfortable place for me: At a desk for long periods of
time, which isnt just typing sentences into Microsoft Word for this journal. If I really
want to endure on drawings throughout the day, and not slip back into regressive Tim
Burton-mode, if I build up my will power stamina, Ill be much more successful in the
long run than otherwise. My drawings are too stick figure-esque, too blockish, too
humdrum, too Lazy in general. They need some life to them, and that can only come with
laborious pencil mileage put over long periods of time into fewer (but more laborious)
pages. Pencil and charcoal Gray is another good background color, and white and
black make for good highlight colors.

Its odd how France never started the cyberpunk movement, yet it spawned one of
the artists responsible for bringing its cyberpunks visual style to life: Moebius.
Moebius was a key visual reference and influenceon Ridley Scott, with Blade
Runner; on George Lucas with Star Wars; and on Katsuhiro Otomo, with Akira. 3 of
the most visually detailed and artistic films of all time. He was also a lead conceptual
artist on such films as The Fifth Element, Tron, and Alien. Moebius is a Pioneer and
Modern Revolutionary. A Renaissance Artist, when it comes to cyberpunk and
textural density and detail. Since he was responsible for the look of much of Star
Wars, Blade Runner, Akira, Alien, The Fifth Element, and Tron, hes also
responsible for all the films those projects influenced. Moebius is a God Among
Artists.
Im hoping Parallax will be the next Oban Star-Racers, or the next AKIRA. Even if it
only ends up being a humble comic book, Im still aiming to make it one of the most well
executed comics ever. I have the potential. I am a French artist by blood, which
automatically makes me a descendent of perfectionists and auteurs. French comics are

P a g e | 931

perfect and brilliant. Who cares if Americans dont get it? They dont need to get or
understand it. Franco-Belgian comics Tomes and Anthologies already have a rich history
of perfect multi-point perspective backgrounds / line quality, and cinema camera shots.
Im through with attempting to sell toand failing at selling tothe American-Japanese
comics fan otaku market. Fuck that shit. Fucking waste of my time. That political bullshit
is beneath me. I choose to quit pursuing it. All the kids wanted to, and might still want to
move to Japan to draw anime and Japanese manga. As if theyre really going to make a
difference just by living in Japan. Im moving to France and might just become a French
expatriate citizen at one point. Im not at all scared or disturbed by renouncing my
America citizenship temporarily. If I have enough money, I cant wait to maybe one day
live in France, in a French city, to draw publish French comics through French
publishers. The Japanese have a lot of respect for the French, so technically its not like
Ill have anything to prove to America or Japan, in that sense.
Building the Foundation of the Franco-America Comic Book Market
Either by chance, by fate, or by accident, just as I collected Japanese manga anthologies
in America, and was one of the first to enter the Japanese-American comics market, right
up to today, so to is a new market being created by my dabbling in international markets,
this time with France, the same way I did with Japan, except its a little different this
time. No one even knows what a Franco-American comic book Tome or Anthology is
yet. Most Americans dont even know what Franco-Belgian comics are, nor have they
heard of Moebius, Enki Bilal, or any international artist of that sort. Usually American
comics get seen in France as reprinted imports, Spawn, Batman, Sin City, and all that.
But up till this point, no Americans have aspired to put the whole thing in reverse. If Im
the first person in history to aspire to partake in the Franco-American market of comics,
what kind of position, status does that put me in. Does it give me any kind of advantage
culturally, internationally, artistically, literarily, or economically? Its definitely
something to aspire to. I feel like its something I could actually do, even if its just
learning the French language and submitting comics to French publishers from
overseas, aka my house, in an effort to convince the French that there is a market for
Franco-Belgian comics in America, and vice-versa. This doesnt just take diplomacy and
an international mentality. It takes diplomatic-entrepreneurial skills. I dont know if I
want to start a Franco-American publishing house, or just publish in the FrenchAmerican based Franco-American market (i.e. like Stephen King and Frank Miller) with
comics heavily influenced by Franime, French comics, Korean comics, and manga, but I
do sense the start of something here. Something big and grand and international.
Something potentially huge, if all goes according to plan. If there are 2 main emerging
comics markets outside of Japan and America, it would be Korea, China, and France. I
plan to capitalize on this heavily in my senior years, if I can, if not a lot earlier. CoProduced animated series and Franime might eventually become a part of my business
strategy too. Its always possible.

Sacrifice, the act of sacrificing, of renunciation, is a spiritual and religious act in and of
itself, and destiny has forced me to be put into a situation where Ive had to sacrifice a lot

P a g e | 932

of my happiness and well being for a cause. I hesitate to use the word martyr, and yet
that is what Ive become. Martyrs sacrifice to uphold their ideals. I sacrifice for no only
the future, and the world, but also for my philosophical doctrine and ideals. Ive already
written many books on living, and sacrificed yet again by publishing none of them for
profit. I sacrificed economic gain to attain a true sense of altruism. Im not just creative, I
believe in sacrificing wider mainstream recognition and financial gain for the sake of
keeping my work pure. Finally, the NF half of my brain returns: The Right Brain, the NF
half. The altruistic half. You wont get to where I am without sacrificing the majority of
pleasure in your life. Ive sacrificed my own popularity as well. Not intentionally, Id
assume, but I have indeed sacrificed and suffered through the loss of my social life to
achieve a higher state of consciousness. A purer, less desire-based consciousness. Desire
leads to suffering, and no better example is that point made in than part of my public
perception. People dont like it when God indulges in pleasure. People would rather
lynch their heroes than ever see them attain any sort of self-gratification.
Things Ive sacrificed:
Love life
Friends
Family
Career/Money
Happiness
Popularity
Social acceptance
Goodwill
Reputation
Social Support

Ive kind of become resentful of the Anime Elitist movement that seems to have spawned
from fans of me. I dont like elitists, and the current generation of anime fans is very
much that very thing I hate so much. Theyre (with most of them being teenage girls)
watching Inuyasha and Strike Witches while trying to sound like Eric Cartman online.
Such phoniness. I fucking hate that. I hate how divided and anti-American the current
generation of anime fans has become. I miss the era of 90s anime. They think America is
shit just because Japan has fancy animation. How can Americans hate their own country
so much? The anime they watch isnt even good enough in generalin comparison to
real anime like cyberpunk and shonen/seinento justify such arrogance.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that I never see anyone my own age online on
manga/anime forums lately, if ever, Ive grown more and more convinced that anime IS
just for kids, and most of those saying otherwise are in fact kids/teens themselves, and
also, Ive grown convinced the only people my age who watch cartoons and/or
anime/manga/comics/Adult Swim are the adults who want to make it professionally.

P a g e | 933

Ive been putting tracing paper on my How to Draw Manga (Fighting Editions) books,
and have been tracing over the pre-existing images. And when I reach a satisfactory
number or amount of traced fighting and combat poses, Ill redraw some, each, or all of
them individually to truly make these poses my own. I used a similar process with Sin
City when drawing Mono Comics and End Times. Really got inside the head of Frank
Miller there for a few years.
Theres a way of measuring and quantifying the detail levels of a comic book drawing.
Line/Form Count. Counting the number of primary lines, shapes, and forms in an
individual comic. Generally the drawings with the most crammed together, overpopulated
form and line count are the most details. The Moebius and McFarlanes of the world. My
drawings online have become infamous for having low form counts, when some people
know Im capable of more than just a small, barren form count, like 70% of my drawings
of Mono. Im capable of a lot more than just crap drawings of Mono. I learned the line
quantifying form count by studying a drawing tutorial video from Todd McFarlane on
YouTube. My average doodle has, on average, a form count of 20 or so forms combined,
one a typical simple sketch of mine. Not many. A Todd McFarlane page, even when he
was young has, at the very least 70 to 100 to 200 or more.

Form Count
Contour Count
Line Count

I havent bought any French comics yet, other than a translated edition of a Moebius art
book, titled Mechanical Memories.
French Comic Book Motifs:

Trenchcoats
Film Noir
Mystery and Suspense
Cyberpunk
Architecture
Science-Fiction
Intrigue
Film Noir
Fantasy
Western
Swords
Production Design
Perspective
Attention to Detail
Hyperdetailing
Masking, (Scott McCloud, Understanding Comics)

P a g e | 934

Layering
Guns
Violence
Adventure
Heroes
Heroic Fantasy
Painting
Line Weight and Quality
Cities, Metropolis

Newest name? Jerome Macabre (JM Strebler)

I seem to have regained my motivation for creating, drawing, and publishing comics as
an Auteur of Volumes again. For the first time in a while, I actually aspire to make
comics again. But Im done aspiring to make animation. Im sticking to what Im good at,
and Im not good at collaboration and teamwork. I think that sort of thing is stupid.
Im gonna have to take some baby steps before I can run. Im going to have to draw a
Mono comic strip of thumbnails before I draw the widescreen HD version on fully grown
panels. It will be easier to ease into it as a comic strip before I expand outward and
upward into a comic book. Ill still draw big panels for my Mono comic strip, but theyll
be considerably reduced in size for the time being. Currently, I have yet to prove Im
even capable of drawing a comic strip, which is infinitely easier than drawing a comic
book. Comic strips are nothing but beginner level comic books, so Ill do that. To start
off with. Weapons, guns, swords, head, torso, arms/sleeves, face, coattails, pant legs feet.
Its time to reduce the size of all of these forms to tiny thumbnail proportions, that fit into
a tiny little panel in a small little comic strip. The thing is, they wont at first, obviously,
and of course, but how will I ever be able to draw a large panel if I cant even start off
with a small one. I dont think the absence of good comics pages on my part is entirely
my fault or due to lack of talent and draftsmanship. Whats flawed and imperfect is my
approach, thinking bigger is always better (as opposed to microscopic, claustrophobic,
thumbnail scale, and crammed together.
There are female fans out there, deranged whores basically, who will try to gather dirt on
you, and attempt to come on to you sexually, or even do both, making repeated sexual
advances at you, whether its in their photos, videos, artwork, or online writing. You
must be extremely cautious around these dangerous fans.

To-Do List:

Draw over tracing paper on Manga Martial arts books for poses
Draw miniscule thumbnails. (I draw too big).

P a g e | 935

Yes I do dabble in a bit of dark arts-type, sword and planet, reborn world fantasy writing
and screenwriting. Dark Fantasy & Science-Fantasy, to be exact. Michael Moorcock,
Robert E. Howard, H.P. Lovecraft, Arthur Conan Doyle, L. Ron Hubbard, Isaac Asimov,
Philip K. Dick. I love reading all that stuff and more! For you see, Im a certain kind of
Neo-Barbarianist. I philosophize and write stories about Neo-Barbarianism.

You know, its much easier just to draw all my drawings at full size. Draw every drawing
as a full page compositionthen just shrink it down. Digital Image Pro is good for this.
Using the scaling technique, I created some very impressive storyboards today. All panels
by me in the future, will be drawn full scale, covering entire pages, then Ill reduce the
size of all of them digitally. It works out better this way. Ill be using scaling on both
animation-anime storyboard panels and comics-manga panels. Honestly, if you ask me,
panels for comics and animation storyboards are still very necessary for ambitious anime
(animation) and manga (comics) projects, if you want to do some kind of comics,
animation, manga, or anime like I do. ut drawing all panels on one page, for either anime
or manga, could one day be a thing of the past, if my pasting method catches on in the
industry. For storyboards and comics pages, theres really no need to draw all panels and
do all your paneling for each finalized page on one page. Not when we have labor saving
computers
Here are some examples of my Digital Storyboarding Technique @ work

P a g e | 936

Im an earlier pioneer and early adapter of digital storyboards. The next generation of
storyboarding.
What is Digital Storyboarding or Scaling?
Simple, when you make a digital storyboard, instead of attaining printouts of
storyboard paper templates from a studio, you find your own paper templates as I
have, scan the templates, and instead of drawing images and pictures directly into
the panels, the panels are drawn on separate individual full size paper for each
panel, and each panel image is drawn on separate paper, scanned onto a PC or
laptop, reduced in Photoshop and/or Digital Image Pro, and each pages copy is
scaled and pasted into each storyboard template panel. No TV show up till this point
has used this technique. This is not the traditional method of drawing storyboards.
Up till this point, its been the classical animation storyboarding method, where
everything was and to a large degree still is drawn at a painstakingly miniature
level, much to the dismay of many artists who draw at full scale. This is the
storyboard techniques of the past, and its really pretty outdated if you ask me.
There are numerous disadvantages to doing it the old way, not least of which is the
fact that with the older technique, everything tends to look very muddy and dirty
due to the drawings reduced size which is meant to fit the paper. The paper stays
the same, and so do the drawings, but the storyboard artists can now have more
spatial and drafting freedom if they use my self-created technique. Drawings can
either be done in pencil or pen & ink.
My Scaling technique and mechanical systemof designing and constructing
panelsis perfect. It is flawless. Of course, almost all the systems I design are
flawless, but this one I like especially right now. Assuming I have some spare
artwork handy, it saves me a lot of work and effort and painstaking new drawing.
Its ruthlessly efficient, just the way a mechanical systems should be. Even today,

P a g e | 937

the system is efficient enough that I was able to finish the art for 2 whole storyboard
pages, with nothing but old artwork. As long as my page compositions are
horizontally based, theyll sync up with my storyboard paper, and Presto-Chango, I
have a lovely sequence of storyboards completed.
Due to the fact that Im an introverted Scorpio, whenever Im the center of attention,
people focusing on me, or the spotlights on me directly and conspicuously in any way,
minor or major, the muscles in my body will tighten quite a bit, particularly in my
stomach, chest, face, and arms, and Ill feel an enormous amount of pressure in my body,
merely from getting attention. Its tough to get any significant amount of work, creative
or otherwise when Im in this state. Fame literally paralyzes me. Thats its manifested
power at work.

You can really only tell people youre different from the American sub-standard so much.
You can only do so much talking. At some point you have to show people youre
different or youre not proving anything. Show, dont tell.

Since I pretty much do set the standards for sword fights in American animation, I
suppose I can go easy on myself. I have achieved a higher standard of fight design in
American animation. My fight sequences, even in sloppy gesture form are second to
none. If I do bad sword fight drawings thats all part of the process.

P a g e | 938

Chapter 36

P a g e | 939

Wednesday, April 27, 2011,

Its not easy being the most famous member of a team of rivals. Im even tempted to
write a story about my experiences with family life, called (what else?) The Team of
Rivals.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

My creative work is indeed a Force. A powerful force. Like gravitational pull or
something.
Artists block does not take it easy on me. My entire family seems like it has the artists
block curse, orat the very leastmy biological mother, Maryanne Gaynor, does. She
was an actual professional artist for a while. She sold one or more pieces of art for around
$6,000, and certain pieces of art shes done belong to collections in one or more real art
museums, but because at one point she lost faith in her art and thought I did some good
ones, but most of them werent very good, she gave up art and no longer draws. That
sounds like a case of artists block to me, most definitely. I dont want to end up like that.
I dont understand that motive, to come so far in an art career to the point of making tens
of thousands of dollars and getting showcased in real fine art museums, and youd still
give up on your ambitions even after all that. I dont know if Ill ever understand such
reasoning. If I was in her position, Id keep going, not renounce my success. I suspect
most of her failure was in her head.

Walked out of my therapy session today. She was saying things that really, REALLY
pissed me off, so I kind of just left.

I certainly hope no ones waiting for ME to marryin a way, Im lucky Im not real
royalty. Im glad no one cares about who I marry. Im never getting married, or having
kids or ever having a family. Im not obligated to, so I never will get married. Marriage
sickens me. When youre range of women to choose from is as limited as mine is,
suddenly marriage and kids is looking just a LITTLE terrifying. Geniuses dont marry or
have sex. Many INTPs probably stay virgins most, if not all their lives, and never do get
married. This is not a joke or a bluff. Breeding isnt an option for me. It never has been
and as long as Im living with my parents it never will be. Only losers get married when
still living with their parents. And since my parents are trying to make me live in their
house for the rest of my life, I may very well never have a love life, or at least not until
Im long past the point of seeing the opposite sex, or any sex for that matter, as desirable.
My family and the media indeed do leach off of my actual real celebrity quite a bit.
Florida hates me, but it works for them, and has made them respected members of the
community, purely due to their reputational ties to me, which definitely explains why
they try to keep me prisoner here. Theyre deriving some kind of benefit out of my

P a g e | 940

imprisoned celebrity theyre not telling me about, but instead, theyre passing the hype
surrounding me off as misdeeds, hopeless misbehavior, and disobedient mental illness.
Other bullshit like that. Quite sad.
Things Im going to buy (for my survival):
A cell phone to call Chris in North Carolina, which I might very well visit.
An Attorney (maybe)
A Private Investigator to look into my neighbors criminal background
A $11,000 car, give or take a few $1,000s
A house up North or Out West, or in England or China

But I cant entirely fault my father for being overprotective. But does he cross the line?
Like when there was that one brunette teenage prostitute girl hovering around me and
kept trying to not give me my space when Dad let me sit alone in the supermarket
parking lot, and she was hovering around me like a vulture, and when Dad saw her, he
signaled the cops and they dragged her away from the car next to me she was sitting on,
kicking and screaming. I know for a fact that girl was out to seduce me, and I could tell
she was a prostitute. Scary. Where are her parents anyway?

Turns out Im going to be waiting for years upon years, just a long time, until anything
real happens with my literary, art, animation, or comics career. I have no funding, and my
biggest source of income is my social security poverty checks. This injustice and
hypocrisy of my audience who refuses to reach out and help me, will probably continue
on in this fashion for a while.

I already draw (and write) really, really good. And Im not going to get hired (and) my
career destiny as the new King isnt going to happen for a while. Do I even need to
practice or train, or do I have enough natural talent still stored in me it will last me for the
rest of my natural adult life, and I wont even need to prepare for being at the top of the
castle? Do I even need to train, or will my talent come naturally to me, so it wont make
a difference whether I train or not? Tough question(s). Whatever I do, the world will
accept it. It sort of already does of course. It just wont admit it.
Im considering suing my parents, and the Florida medical and news media community
for attempting to wall me into my house and stop me from leaving Florida.

Sunday, May 01, 2011,

I dont know. Maybe I was wrong about my comics career. Maybe I cant and never
will live up to my own expectations. I know its not finished, but if people arent noticing
me now, will they ever? What makes people think my success or failure (mostly failure)

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will be any different in the future, just because its 10 years down the road. Ill probably
never reach Jhonen Vasquez, Todd McFarlane, Hiroaki Samura, or Katsuhiro Otomo
level. Im a big fat failure. Doesnt bother me, but if I really am failingwhich I suspect
I amIm going to need to become aware of this failure. But if I dont do Parallax and
Mono, who will? No one good probably. I dont exactly inspire confidence. Usually I just
inspire fear.

Mythology, Fantasy, and Epic Media Franchises all function as gateways, bridges,
doorways, foundations, and windows to an alternate reality, or to put it more bluntly, a
Visionary window to a parallel universe. One thats created entirely by man: sometimes
by as few as 1 or 2 people. We communicate with these fantastical alternate realities
through the media. Every new franchise or TV show, book, comic book, or film, is an
overhead view of this other universe which exists on page and on screen. Parallax, the
world Mono lives in is very much my rendition of my own physical structural system, or
snapshot of an alternate reality that Ive given birth to.

There are quite a few artists on the internet, who try to draw exactly like I do. It derives
from their deep sense of fear and insecurity that people wont like them if they draw like
themselves and not me, which Im afraid means I therefore am unable to endorse any of
them. If you cant be bothered to draw in your own style, youre about as insecure as an
artist can come. Girl artists are the worst offenders in the insecurity area. Ive never
known why so many young girls online are so insecure that no ones going to like them. I
mean, their insecurity is right, no one does love or like them, but it wouldnt have to be
that way if they just bothered to come up with their own styles and ideas, as opposed to
cowering behind my style.

EnviousART
There are a lot of Envious Artists @ EnviousART. Needless to say, the site lives up to its
titleEnviousART.
Andrew, my own brother is one of the people in my life most envious of my success, to
the point of trying to refuter my achievements, accomplishments, success, popularity, and
career in life. Hes very envious of me just like half the people on TV and online. And
especially Brian Johnston/Viacom, whos always been the most envious of me, along
with everyone on Guinevere Drive. Thats a lot of people who are envious of me. I had
no idea how envious people really were of my status and fame. Im going to put an end to
your fame by making you feel embarrassed and ashamed of it. Mu ah hah hah! Balls of
rage and dick of fury acting up! Arent I BRILLIANT?? No, actually. No, youre not
brilliant. Youre fat. Very fat. Fatter than even me. But you know who is?? Me!

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The Shame Game

Beastie Beastie Beastie Boys Getting Live On The Spot
Puttin All Types of Shame In Dat Fame U Got
We Keep the Party moving till the broad daylight
G-E-T L-I-V-E Aiight!
I wonder why everyone seems to want me to be ashamed of my fame. This is an odd
recurring saboteur tactic I see used frequently in the media against me, nearly every time
my name or face is brought up. Im not ashamed of my face. My face is SEX, babe! Why
in the world SHOULD I be ashamed of my face, or any of my actions for that matter.
And I mean all of them too. Im 100% Proud of And Confident in Everything I do. If I
actually did feel ashamed, it would be forced shame. Im not really ashamed of
anything Ive done, or the way I look, or my hobbies, or how I spend my time. Im very
proud of every last bit of it. It is kind of weird that theres always some pawn of the man
on TV everyday, evil clones and twins, telling me 50,000 thousand reasons why I should
be ashamed of myself for the rest of my life.

Monday, May 02, 2011,

The HTPC-TV in my room is all connected now. Its a hyper-cool all-in-one media
center
Animation Episodes Watched Today:

Last Exile (Roku)

Ben 10 (first series) (DirecTV)
Megas XLR (YouTube)
X: 1999 The TV Series (Hulu)
Bobobo-Bo-Bo-Bobo (YouTube)

Even if I dont find a job right away, at least Ill have video to watch. Unemployment and
living with my family suddenly isnt so bad when I can engineer my own video-viewing
technology and make myself comfortable, using my big screen TV as a pillow.

Well, Ive done my job. Ive laid the groundwork for all home electronics and digital
video technology for the entire Next Century. Ive laid the groundwork for the entire
foundation of the New Millennium. TVs, DVDs, Computers, Websites, Broadcasting.
Ive a heavy handed influence in all of it.
In the next few days (or years), Im going to see if theres any ways for me to make legit
money that dont include the internet. I dont think Im ever going to find a niche for
creating legit revenue from the internet. All my money is going to be from you buying
my home electronics, and the government forwarding me social security bankruptcy

P a g e | 943

income. In terms of revenue streams, comics, animation, and the internet are off limits. I
need to face facts. Only a lucky few get to make any money online whatsoever. YouTube
would never pay me for all my hard work and influence on their site in a million years. I
guess theyre just corrupt and greedy like that. So Im looking elsewhere. Pornographers,
drug dealers, pimps, con artists, swindlers, and pirates make mondo bucks, and theyre
scum. They never make an honest buck, but some of them make tons of money catering
to the more criminal underbelly of society. But Id never make money as a criminal,
because A) Im not a criminal, and B) I dont do that sort of thing. And C) It can get you
arrested quite easily.

I need something to write about. I dont really have writers block or anything, but I am
drawing blanks right now. Updated my video viewing lists. And my HTPC is working. I
want to figure out if any of my knowledge about HTPC could ever turn into something
lucrative. Maybe, maybe not; I guess you never really know where insider knowledge can
take you. Im addicted to my Roku and HTPC actually. I dont know if Ill ever be able to
stop using those things. Theyre just so easy and convenient to use. Now I sound like a
commercial for them. But its true. Roku and HTPC make life worth living. Addiction to
Roku and HTPC might thwart and outrank my internet addiction.

If Ive got the same psychic and creative visual power traveling through my blood that
Osamu Tezuka, George Lucas, and OTOMO do, why dont I feel more powerful? I dont
feel powerful or empowered at all right now. If my power lies in my skills, why dont I
feel powerful? Some say my power is delicate.

Art, literature, and film aside, my powers are starting to manifest in the technological
world, too. Upon getting fed up with the results of the internet, I left as soon as I got
my HTPC-TV prototype up and running in my room, and I havent looked back. Its like
inventing my own video games, software, or something. This prototype allows me to
zone out to anime all day long if I want to. I never had that option before. Now I do. Such
power this manifestation ability wields. I wonder what would happen if this manifestation
power started earning me a lucrative profit once it made it to the public (not through the
internet though. Thatd be a big mistake.).
Favorite Post-Mono Dark Anime
KARAS
Devil May Cry
Strait Jacket
Blade of the Phantom Master
Highlander: Vengeance
Sword of the Stranger
The Skull Man
Trinity Blood

P a g e | 944

Darker Than Black

Black Blood Brothers
Code Geass
Death Note
Claymore
D Gray Man
Soul Eater
Aquarion
Chrome Shelled Regios
Nabari No Ou
Black Butler
Hipira
Ill always have mega-powerful industry friends and allies, and friends in high places.
But one thing Ill never have is support or endorsement from fans. Im just as likely to get
critically panned as I am to win over tons of praise from fans and critics

AKIRA COMMENTS:
Finished watching AKIRA today. Its an epic, hyper-detailed science-fiction genre 2-hour
traditionally animated movie. Looking back, the film is just as good as Ive always
remembered it. Im also coming to remember why Ive been so obsessed with AKIRA.
The film feels more like a masterpiece of power, or creative act and force of God than an
actual movie. It really is work just watching or reading AKIRA. It has a certain kind of
power and kinetic energy to it that most animated films, let alone live action films, never
have. Its better than The Lion King by quite a bit. AKIRA comes across feeling very
BIG, very large in scope and scale. Its probably the most vast, layered landscape Ive
ever seen in an animated movie or a comic book. Just a lot of buildings, a lot of urban
landscapes, and a lot of destruction and explosion or urban destruction effects,
particularly around the end of the film.
I think the internet career thing has basically run its course.
In terms of the world wide web and internet:
THE END
I was pressured by friends in the beginning to use computers. Then I began using
computers and/or the internet out of my own free will. Im not logging off out of hatred,
though I have plenty of that. Im logging off because this shit has run its course. So
YouTube makes money. Big fucking deal. So do a lot of people online. Nobody cares
about that. All people care about is internet video. Im kind of glad Im quitting the
internet in favor of HTPC-TV. They were never really treating me fairly or justly, just
like what my family does. Those users all look the same to me, so fuck em. The internet
is the past. In my life its no longer the present. Its history.

P a g e | 945

My art and writing style, because they are so powerful, are highly spied on and observed
by competitors. Im a heavily watched individual. The powers that be want to keep as
many tabs on me and my progress/improvement as possible, even if only to compete
against it.
Aesthetic appeal counts for a lot.
Sure, some people can put more labor into their drawings than me, and some have more
detail than me, but few if none at all, are able to put more aesthetic appeal into their
drawings more than me. Like DeviantART for example: While labored and detailed in
some instances, most of the art on that site doesnt have even half as much aesthetic
appeal as my artwork has. Even my simple art screams that I care more than almost any
people on that site do.

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Being a famous artist is a lot more restricting than I thought. If youre Yoshiyuki
Sadamoto, youre work is your prison. Your movement is restrictive, restricted, and
limited. As a matter of fact, that doesnt just go for celebrity artist. It goes for celebrities
in general. Ive begun to understand what Damon Albarn meant when he said In
America, they box you in. Youre not allowed to act outside of your fans set of
expectations for you, and if you do act outside that line, it upsets the fans and they want
to punish you for being a talk show host or pundit.
As for manga and anime: It aint the place to go if you have any desire to be rich some
day. Theyre in a perennial ghetto. Stick to America if you want to be rich. The thing they
never tell you about American animation compared to anime is, American animation
makes tons more money than anime. Seth MacFarlane may suck assand he does. A
lotbut in reality hes richer than a lot of people in TV and Hollywood. Family Guy
made him $50 million richer, if you want the brutal truth about him. IP licensing, when
youre a licensor, pays well, and Im sure thatll work out well for me. IP licensing, if its
at all valuable or original, pays incredibly well. Just as well as Seth MacFarlane money, if
not a lot higher, I hate to say. But the thing is, most otaku have no clue how to make real
money. They really only know how to spend it and lose it. The entire game is about
bragging how much money youre investing in something, which clearly indicates no one
in that group is retaining any profit whatsoever. Most people in TV get rich in the first
place by clever marketing, by promising you the world. Youll be attractive. Youll have
sex with many partners. Youll be the worlds wealthiest man. If only you listen to me
and me only. Youd think only stupid people would fall for this trap, but clearly that is
not the case. Marketing fools the public every day, unfortunately.

P a g e | 946

My industry is not Entertainment. Its manufacturing. Im a digital manufacturer. I mass

produce cutting edge tech and the like. Im a media manufacturer just as my birth father
was an automotive manufacturer.
The Great Recession only effects what is technically my OPM (Other Peoples Money).
It doesnt mean jack shit or have any influence when it comes to how much money I will
make of my own accord, in the next 10 years when I am running my first real career. And
that career wont involve drawing. Ill say that much.
Currently re-reading The Millionaire Mind by Thomas J Stanley.
Also, the test Miss Choi had me take in high school, the Oracle-like career and life test,
which basically said Ill have a ton of money when I grow up, an ocean of money, so to
speak, said Ill be rich at some point when Im an adult. But it doesnt say how much
money (Six-Figures? Millions? Billions?) or what decade or age range Ill be earning that
ocean of money during (2012-2020? Great Recession? Late 20s? 30s?) Its times like that
when I wish Oracle type test given to me by South Korean teacherswho Ive been
friends with for a long time nowwould just be a little more specific.
J: Uh, um, I was wondering. How much money could I make as an inventor?
Attorney: $100 billion
J: Whoa, really?? $100 billion with a b as in billion
Attorney: Yes. $100 billion, if its TV or something of that stature

In the next 2 to 5 years, Im going to test my entrepreneurial skills, and if I succeed I

could become very wealthy. Assuming I sign a contract to license my prototype.
Whenever my adoptive parents blow me off, or my adoptive brother gives me the brush
off, or better yet acts like he has the temper of a five year old and throws a tantrum, then
thats when I know Im succeeding and onto something. Things always go wrong for him
when they go right for me, and vice versa. I cannot for the life of me figure out why this
is. Astrology? Either way, it seems to always be a win/lose situation when hes involved.
I try to make it win/win with people as much as possible, but with my brother its always
win/lose / lose/win in his eyes/mind. Kind of sad. If my familys pissed at me, thats
always when I know Ive got the next million dollar idea, as has already been proven
with Google.

I dont draw, and I dont write. I manifest. That means I create power using both talents
and halves of my brain, the Right Half and Left Half. Its interesting comparing the Two
Talents of Manifestation though.

P a g e | 947

Art Manifestation:
Arrogant. Non-Spiritual. Secular. Unsteady. Unreliable. Sensitive. Iconic. Abstract.
Aesthetic. Textural. Lacking Confidence. Simple. Ignorant. Sloppy. Lazy. Lost. Human.
Grounded. Undisciplined. Weak-Willed. Temperamental. Emotional. Blind. Lethargic.
Afraid. Embarassed. Slow. Conspicuous. Heavy. Mechanical Pencil. Shaky/Unsteady
Hand. Fragile. Delicate. Beautiful. Mysterious. Guarded. Public. Ink Pens. No money.
Poor. Crappy. Simplistic. Detailed. Heavy (black). Black. Patterns. Composition. Bleak.
Gaunt. Macabre. Wannabe Virtuoso. Wannabe Epic. Auteur. Cinematic (sort of).
Graphic. Filmmaking. Partially Productive. Sometimes Productive. Unproductive.
Vulnerable. Afraid. Mocked. Cyber-Harassed. Cyber-bullied by envious people.
Seniority. The more praised/discussed of the two manifestation talents. Heroic
Writing Manifestation
Confident. Humble. Spiritual. Robotic. Mechanical. Powerful. Strong. Enduring.
Classical. Classy. Intelligent. Detailed. Analytical. Scientific. Technological. Workaholic.
Reliable. Consistent. Force of Nature. Books. Publishing. Scientific. Computers.
Virtuoso. Literate. Literature. Epic. Long-winded. Big. Long Book. Grandiose. High
Work Output. Productive. Unanalyzed. Unscrutinized. High Quality. Descriptive.
Dramatic

At first I wanted to re-imagine animation as a new medium entirely.

Then I wanted to re-imagine comics in a new medium entirely, and webcomics
too.
Then I re-imagined the internet and technology.
Now Im re-imagining American mainstream media and general business.

I dont see the racial restrictions people who share my race see. I wasnt raised that way,
so I dont see it that way. In general. Do some people hate me with a passion for this fact.
Yes, but thats something to live with. No one is immune from discrimination at some
point in their life. But its how you react to it that defines your true destiny and manhood.
Friday, May 06, 2011,
Andrews top strategy for dealing with his problems: Take a nap and hope it goes away.
Hes very hard to reach, and it often feels like he willingly wants and seeks out problems
in his life. He creates his own drama. Its not real drama like mine is. His he makes up
and reads into of his own accord. His problems could easily be avoided with the right line
of thinking. He CHOOSES those obstacles for himself. He chooses the difficult path.
My parents are going to need to eventually come clean and admit theres a lotta guys out
there, criminal and otherwise who look like Fred Savage, before every guy in the world
looks like Fred Savage, (Pod PeopleInvasion of the Body Snatchers Style).

P a g e | 948

Im aware that architectonics, engineering, production design, costume design,

design, martial arts, Asian filmmaking, French and Asian-Hong-Kong cinema, and
martial arts fight choreography comes naturally to me. Its part of my nature, my
blood, my heritage, my DNA. My instinctive predetermined national identity. Its a gift
God gave to me and blessed me with. No amount of selling on my part can glamorize
these fields. They will remain the same: Mysterious and difficult, both to understand and
master. Theyll remain my thing. Because its in my genes. You cant convert other
people to a talent thats in your genes. You either have an inclination for one or more of
those talents or you dont. Ive come to accept this in my older years, my late 20s (27/28).

You can do anything you set your mind to

Youre a genius at what you set your mind to
I have the power to focus and use concentration almost better than anyone, despite having
a childhood medical and academic diagnosis of ADD: Attention Deficit Disorder by
doctors.
When I was a kid, they labeled me with ADD. Ive probably never really had it. Id just
hyper-focus on all my own personal hobbies and goals instead of classwork.
Im a genius at something so long as I focus, hyper-focus on it, concentrate on it, and
meditate on it in some way. Well, that and working on it, working at it, or just working,
as long as the work is related to the task at hand (panels, scripts).
Fortunately, Im used to working a lot for free.
For me,
Work is work
Play is work.
Drawing to me is the kind of clerical-manual labor that feels like a mixture of
meditation practice exertion, writing exertion, playing a musical instrument like
drums or keyboard, kinesthetic exercise, and book reading. It feels like all those
things mixed together.
So theresin some ways it feels like:

Exercise
Reading
Manual Labor
Music Practice
Meditation
Writing by hand

In other words, no matter how simple the drawing is, for however short I do it, I try so
hard when I actually do attempt it, I always feel the burn. Its a nemesis of and a

P a g e | 949

counterbalance to my laziness. DeviantART and the internet only make this struggle,
between the lazy leisure side of me and the industrious manual one, all the more hostile.
Im at war with myself when it comes to art. DeviantART does nothing but add fuel to
the fire, or throw dynamite at the fire and run away. With malicious psychic telepathy
and female-chauvanist-pig-created raunchy imagery.

OK, it boils down to the following equation:

A = Wrong
B = Correct Answer.
A = Not worth any $, no manual labor. Not really Painful. Lazy style.
B = Worth $10,000s. Market Value. Requires Manual Art Labor and More painful
in general
A = Sketch archive pages, Mono Designs, production roughs (so-called behind the
scenes)
B = Sequential Art. Panels. Save and build on your panels and the $10,000s will add
up, over time.
A = The more I dont work, the more my projects will continue to be worth no
money and display little to no skill.
B = The more I do manual art labor, and spend hours a week drawing, the more the
benefits and profit will stack up over time. Months and years. Ill need a schedule,
pencil, and eraser. And later a pen.
If I let my fear and anxiety toward work overcome my will to succeed at practicing, I
wont end up making a profit.
The only way to see a profit is to transcend my anxiety, pain, and fear, and just keep on
moving the pencil to get pencil mileage like Corey. And the art I produced has to be in
Akira / Blade of the Immortal / Sin City Format too. Otherwise editors and other artists
will continue to laugh at my works expense.

Also, since Cerebus and AKIRA are what I aspire to produce, I must take the next step in
my collectors and fan relationship with both the series and bring them to a close in my
mind. Ill never finish writing or drawing Parallax if I never finish reading or at least
looking at the Final Page and Chapters of both AKIRA and Cerebus the Aardvark. I
WANT the spoilers this time. With manga like Naruto, Evangelion, Trigun, Blade, and
Priest, I dont usually do that, but thats manga. With these TV series in book format Ill
make an exception. Im never going to attain drawing closure for Parallax and Monos
story unless I attain closure in reading and appreciating the books Parallax is modeled
after; The Source of my emotional creativity. I already know whats going to happen to
my beloved worlds from studying up: Neo-Tokyo is destroyed and Cerebus breaks his

P a g e | 950

neck when he falls out of bed, but these words hardly do the grand Epic Saga visuals
justice, Im sure. So Im skipping ahead a couple 1,000 pages. 2 months from now when I
get the money in June or July. Not a big deal to me. Endings and Finales matter to me.
An epic isnt a true epic until you finish it. Chapter 1 was discovering those 2 books and
their series. Step 2, or perhaps chapters 2 is getting a feel for their endings. I MUST
FINISH WHAT I START!!!! That includes Parallax. The source of Parallax is AKIRA
and Cerebus the Aardvark. But I need an archetype, some example, some structural
model to follow, like I did with their powerful beginnings. Now is approaching the time
for POWERFUL ENDINGS!!!!!
I. HAVE. TO STOP HIIIIM!
-Dib
Invader ZIM
Im also going to buy (eventually)
The Lord of the Rings: Volume III: The Return of the King

Power, raw physical power, has the look of nature and science swiped from out of Gods
control. Theres something about raw power that doesnt look human. Not in the least.
Though Akira was drawn by people, in terms of its energy levels, it definitely doesnt
feel human. The power of that film and book are so great, that it feels like God himself
drew those pages / camera shots. But then again, when a film or book or TV show does
actually manage to inspire awe, it almost never feels human in general.
To me, pen and ink indie comics and Japanese manga are like sibling mediums. As a
person of partial East Asian descent, Im naturally drawn to the beauty of black and white
artwork. Im into a type of art (black and white, Notan) that the Japanese have almost
always liked for a long time now.
If you dont want it appearing on the front page of the New York Times, dont write it
down. Dont look at it on a computer either
Original Influences on my later comic book work:

Kill Bill
Pulp Fiction
Quentin Tarantino
Dragon Ball Z
Toonami
The Matrix
Star Wars I VI
Primus
Marilyn Manson

P a g e | 951

Steven Spielberg
AKIRA
Ghost in the Shell
Anime
Manga
The Seven Samurai
Spaghetti Western
Sin City
Batman Animation/Comics
Spawn
Todd McFarlane
Cerebus
Jhonen Vasquez
I Feel Sick
Invader Zim
Blade Runner
Tim Burton
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Hiroaki Samura
Blade of the Immortal
Walt Disney
John Lasseter
Rurouni Kenshin
Stephen King
Film Noir

Things to do each day:

Write outline roughs

Write script page
Draw Storyboard/Comics Panel Thumbnails
Watch Videos on TV

I dont know if this is true or not, but the timing seems close enough. I think my brother
Andrew might actually be afraid of machines, or at least feel anxiety. Machines put me at
ease, but I think they drive him crazy.
In a way, theres a reason DeviantART is as freaky as it is. Its often nothing more than
the trafficking of teenage psychic mind readers who happen to be highly technically
proficient when it comes to drawing. They can literally see the thoughts manifesting in
your head through a computer. Psychic freaks. Now that Im aware of this, I aint ever
coming back. Its a losing battle playing mind games with psychics and mind readers.
Head Invaders.

P a g e | 952

If theres three things Im the King Of, its:

The King of Weird
The King of Postmodern Literature
The King of International Cinema
There are some people who Deify me because of my weirdness, and others who
demonize me for it. Which ones right? Is there a right answer?
It appears that through the internet, and much of TV, Ive finally achieved a little bit of
popularity. People, and quite a few of them finally sympathize with my life story, and my
struggle, and are finally on my side in many cases. I finally having popularity.

Sunday, May 08, 2011,

Its Mothers Day.
Todays topic of discussion: Fiction Book Series
Book Series, what I write, my territory, was generally invented for people who are too
productive to only write one or two books in their careers. Book series are written by
authors with TOO MUCH inspiration.
Notable Book Series

Lord of the Rings

Akira
Osamu Tezuka
Enders Game
Jack Ryan (Tom Clancy)
Harry Potter
Eragon
Twilight
The Dark Tower
Naruto
Elric of Melnibone
Dragon Ball
Christopher Isherwoods Journals

The most prolific writers almost always pen series. I will do the same one day.
Speaking for myself, I myself am a series writer. Im quite the series writer. I can really
get into a thick book if its big and ongoing.
Manifesto is a monographic nonfiction book series that basically goes on forever.

P a g e | 953

My original career ambition was to be the Bill Gates, Ted Turner & Picasso of Manga
Now my ambition is morphing.
Now that Ive achieved that, I have a new career goal:
To be the Tim Burton, Walt Disney, and Steven Spielberg of American cartoon fighting.

Monday, May 09, 2011

Got 3 comics pages (roughs, layouts) done today, 2 that are original, 1 thats based on a
page I saw online by somebody else.
This is one of the first times Ive ever gotten more than one comic book page layout done
in less than a day.

Update. Now Ive done 3-4 pages

Pg. 1: Mono Firing Handguns
Pg. 2: Coat and Sword Close-Up Shots
Pg. 3 Mono Sword Slinging

Whats my secret to drawing 4 pages in one day of original comics page sketches?
Probably thinking of the composition as one starter, springboard drawing at a time, and
once the first panel is established, simply add on by letting the story flow outward from
the pages top drawing, the first panels artwork. Always draw the first panel first. Always
draw your comics pages from the top panel down, to establish rhythm and flow. Or
pacing. Dont be afraid to add highlights to sequential art roughs.
Little did I know in the beginning, no amount of theorizing, pontificating, and babbling in
literary journal form will get the comics pages drawn for you. Nor will it make the pages
look any good. You have to do comics YOUR way. Your OWN WAY. You cant go
around drawing comics how you think other people draw them. My comics pages have
started, or started getting good, when I learned this lesson. You have to individualize
your process, and you cant analyze its construction too much. You kind of have to intuit
the content out with a pen or pencil.
Drawing comics after all this time is not a dream come true. Its a burden, a
responsibility, something I should have done a long time ago.
I cant draw when Im: agitated, or angry, fatigued, tired, self-doubting. And also, when I
have low self-confidence.

P a g e | 954

I tend to be into consulting fortune telling profiles, for advice.

So far, my Biggest Hit online is my YouTube upload of the Clint Eastwood music
video by Gorillaz. It shocked me how well people reacted to that particular upload. My
second biggest hit is my Spindack alias on the Adult Swim message boards. An alias of
mine that even got featured on one of Adult Swims cards, which is now a part of Adult
Swim history. Other less successful ventures would be J.M. Strebler, Mono, and Parallax.
The unevenness of my success proves you cannot be all things to all people. I never
would have been able to predict my upload of Gorillaz Clint Eastwood would make it
to 97,000 views on YouTube.
OK, I get it I get it. Maybe it isnt my place to be the financial savior and hero of my
family. Maybe I cant rescue my irresponsible parents and brother and his wife and kid
from complete self-destruction, and ruin on their part. Maybe I was wrong to think I
could save them with the entire world riding up my ass and other bullshit like that. But
was it really that bad to try. Theyre helpless without me. They cant tie their fucking
shoes without me to let them know what it really looks like. I wish I could save my
family. Old age is going to kill mom and dad. I was hoping to prevent that by getting rich
and taking care of their financial troubles (not just my own) in some way. But the world
isnt having any of that. The world wants to punish me for trying and let them go on with
their lives, oblivious to their forthcoming untimely destruction (i.e. Tokyopop, Borders,
the Catholic Church)
Unless Obama goes after fraudulant anti-psychotic medication companies and their
murderous and deadly antipsychotic pills and drugs, Im afraid I cant endorse Obama
health care reform. Why are these company heads not getting arrested for their criminal
activities. Why do people like Jo Ann Cook and her other fraudulent colleagues NOT get
arrested? Theyre creating addiction and potential death. There needs to be a stop to
health care FRAUD, and prosecution on behalf of people like me, before there could ever
be successful reform, whatever that means.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011,
Its a simple as this: If Florida/America wants to punish and lynch me for publishing my
work professionally, then Im not going to publish in Florida/America, ever, and Ill
instead publish in Britain and France, where my work belongs. This will probably be
questioned and criticized, which just feeds into the reason of why Id be doing all of that
to begin with. Florida/America are too ignorant to understand me or any of the
complexities of my work, and Im well aware of their ignorance. Why sully my
international credibility by even bothering to associate with such a lowly fascist
state/country. If all they know how to do is overreact to everything I do, then they wont
get the pleasure of seeing this or any other page. You cant treat and abuse authors this

P a g e | 955

badly and still expect to do business with them, or act like you support them. If you speak
this ill of me, you dont support me, and you have no business seeing any of my work.

My art confused and shocked my brother. He thinks the drawing I did today (5/11/11)
was the fault of the drugs Im taking, and admitted he doesnt see the person in it.
That does NOT look like a person! he shouted.
But its not supposed to look like one! Its abstract art! Analytical Cubism! It was a
whole art movement Pablo Picasso started
He then drew a stick figure on a small piece of paper. This is a stick figure. Its a person.
Thats not a person, he lectured rather loudly. You USED TO be able to draw people.
The stuff youre doing now is just fucking weird and crazy.
Actually, Im pleased with the reaction. My drawing was so different, weird, and abstract,
it was unrecognizable to my brother. The abstractness of it was so off putting to him he
refused to recognize it as a representation of the human form.
Thats what happens when you mix the abstract art style of Picasso with the abstract
choreography style of Martha Graham. You get confused and frustrated reactions. They
tell you, Thats not art. You need to see a therapist. Youre going crazy! Ha! I love it.
That reaction from Andrew is one of the strongest negative reactions, and strongest
reactionsin generalIve ever got in my brief career. I need to do more.
All of my design motifs are not just archetypal. Theyre primal. They go for the oldest,
most basic, most universal gut reaction. Not all of my drawings are intended to resemble
what theyre imitating. Hence the abstract, Tim Burton-esque element.
Jill Thompson sort of draws like my comics ink pages when she draws Scary Godmother.
And shes risen through the ranks, and is one of the most prolific comic book artists and
creators in the industry. I hope to be as professionally prolific as her one day. Her
encouragement has given me a lot of drawing inspiration. Its awoken me to the fact that
theres nothing wrong with the way I drawnothing at all.
I finally found a convenient Tech Job Search site, and on that site I found quite a few job
listings for engineers in the 32707/Orlando vicinity. How awesome is that. The site is
dice.com

Ill be able to talk to my friend with a cell phone in the next one or two months, once I
finally get my own cell phone. Better late than never. I can talk to ANYONE on my cell
phone. Like friends. My lawyer. Long distance calls to Japan, France, and England. Id
rather talk to anyone than doctors and my brother and parents. My parents and brother are
always against me. Im sick of it. Im calling friends and strangers.

P a g e | 956

Friday, May 13, 2011

Watching a Yuen Woo-Ping choreographed fight on film is a lot like watching a Martha
Graham ballet or dance. Hong Kong martial arts wire-fu and kung-fu choreography
flexibility and anatomy wiseactually has a lot in common with ballet. Only real men
study ballet to improve their fight choreography on the page.
In terms of position or pose design, I often like to choreograph my characters in black
or white gowns and robes. Its stylin.

BOOKMARK
In 2011, Ive drawn the following studies and practice page groups

Gun studies
Storyboard studies
Comic page studies
Choreographic Position studies
Fabric & Cloth studies
Notan Studies

Studies not pursued currently:

Fight Design Studies

Sword Studies
Portraiture Studies
Trenchcoat studies
Production Design Studies
Character Design Studies
Script Studies

I approach my studies like a functioning system: Compartmentalized with lots of

components, and systematic. Is there really any other way?
Necessary parts of a comic:
Comic Pages
Panel Artwork
Panel Compositions
Camerawork
Fighting
Dialogue
Backgrounds
Characters
Foregrounds and props

P a g e | 957

There are a lot of shitty comic book tutorials on the web nowadays. And here I thought
you actually had to DRAW to make comic books.

Famous Writers:
Stephen King
Quentin Tarantino
John Woo
Katsuhiro Otomo
Neil Gaiman
Michael Moorcock
Robert E. Howard
Roger Ebert
Yoshiyuki Tomino
All You Need Is Kill
Dean Koontz
Dave Eggers
Ayn Rand
Frank McCourt
JK Rowling
Nietzsche
Homer
T.S. Eliot
JD Salinger
Jack Kerouac
Ernest Hemingway
John Steinbeck
JRR Tolkien
CS Lewis
HP Lovecraft
M. Night Shyamalan
Isaac Asimov
Mary Shelley
Gao Xingjian
Lao-Tzu
Confucius
Thomas Romain
Jean-Paul Sartre
Herman Melville
Dave Willis
Marilyn Manson
Eminem
Trent Reznor

P a g e | 958

Seth MacFarlane
Matt Groening
Trey Parker
Matt Stone
Seth Green

I love good writers. I love good writing and literature. And I truly do hope to become
recognized as a great and famous writer one day.

Yes, it is true, some of my early scripts had what I like to refer to as hyper-description:
Hyper-descriptive details. I was the Todd McFarlane of screenwriting description. Some
of my screenplay descriptions are almost as detailed as John Steinbecks Grapes of
Wrath. Actually, yes, John Steinbeck should be an inspiration to any novelist or
screenwriter, in terms of description and narrative detail at least. Its always better to
have a lot of description than none at all or too little. Write like John Steinbeck, Jack
Kerouac, Robert M. Pirsig. Edit like Hemingway. Say a lot in the beginning, then as time
goes on edit and narrow out the details.

The Aging Process Getting Older

Ive always had a positive view and outlook on the aging process. Ive always respected
and admired and envied people a lot older and more respected and powerful than me. Ive
just always believed the future, since it hasnt been established yet, and because I myself
am building it, will hold more good for me than bad, even though I cant predict it.
Because I have strong will power and the ability to alter the course of events, I strongly
believe in my ability to make aging work to my advantage, and my ability to build a
good, positive, rewarding, and enjoyable life for myself.
Ive figured it out. I know why Im looking so forward to aging and getting old and
becoming older. It has to do with achievements in later life, status in later life,
independence in later life, and more respect, honor, fame, and prestige in later life. Most
of the really rewarding things in my life havent happened yet, or have yet to happen.
Most people dont achiever later in life any more than they do early on in life, so they
have nothing to look forward to. My psychic powers of intuition and foresight have
tipped me off to the fact that my career hasnt really started yet and wont become truly
rewarding until Ive written that book or comic or created that show and distributed and
published it. All my achievement has yet to happen. This is not me at my most
successful. That wont happen until Im in my 30s, 40s, and 50s, and beyond. And the
respect society has for me will only increase with age and time.

P a g e | 959

P a g e | 960

Chapter 37

P a g e | 961

Sunday, May 15, 2011,

My family never really allows me to be alone. Apparently they do this because theyre
concerned about my safety. Is it really that dangerous living alone? Or can they
themselves simply not handle being alone?

Im very, very influenced by the Far East. I often take for granted just how much current
influence I derive from Japan and China. Theyve been extremely influential on my life
and my creative work, particularly Japan. Japan is a huge influence on nearly everything I
design and draw, and often the way I think and strategize.
Parallax actually belongs to a popular international literary genre, thats particularly
popular in French literature, referred to as fantastique. The Fantastique genre combines
elements of science-fiction, fantasy, and horror into a more contemporary genre. Also,
Robert E. Howard, Stephen King, and JRR Tolkien have become incredibly popular in
France during the last three decades (1980-2010), and none of these three authors were
well known in France before 1980, if not a lot later into this century.
Online and in Hollywood, I have a long, long, VERY long enemy list. I have a LOT of
enemies, some more influential than others. Nearly all of my alleged personal enemies
are in America. Only a few are in the international community. A lot of it is racism and
bigotry, mostly. In other instances its basic bully sociopathology 101.
If I wasnt suppressing and holding back my naturalbut destructiveprimal powers of
my idwith things like suppression, denial, restraint, meditation, self-restraint, Zen
Buddhism, therapy, helicopter parents, psychiatric hospital stays, a family life,
medication, and restriction my energy level would be 100 times what it is now. But it
also might destroy everything around me if my energy level was completely unleashed.
How did Otomo do it?

Monday, May 16, 2011,

While yes, I suppose it could be true that my look, achievements, life, and personality
could very well have been the inspiration for many works in popular culture, both
positive and negative, its not like I can go around bragging about it. People would think I
was crazy for saying a TV shows main protagonist was inspired by me, even if he does
look, think, and/or act like me in some way.
Its Andrews birthday today. Speaking of Andrew, hes been a good sport about my
fame. He either doesnt believe it exists or doesnt take it seriously, and has really never
given my potential iconic status much serious discussion or consideration.

P a g e | 962

Ever since I went mainstream, Ive had problems with imitation and copycat incidents.
Ive had run-ins with a whole shit-load of plagiarists and imposters. Apparently things
that are popular and out in the open, or advertised, get copied a lot. I would guess this
is linked to the concept and area of public domain. If its PERCIEVED TO BE in the
public domain, even when it technically isnt, does that mean it is? Do you renounce your
rights not to be plagiarized, imitated, stolen, parodied, taken, copycatted, copied,
mirrored, mimicked, replicated, forged, reproduced, cloned.
The more successful I become, the more pills they make me take every day. Its messing
up my colon. A lot. This is BEYOND the sting of hemorrhoids. The bathroom is where
an evil angry God tortures me with burning hemorrhoids for dozens of minutes on end.

I was a real whiz kid growing up, and I later evolved into a writing, media, film, comics,
book, and computer whiz in my later years.

During the next 10 years, Im going to teach myself how to do the following:

Write a TV Action Animation Script

Draw a Comic Book Page
Draw a Storyboard Page

Many of the best animated series and films have been adapted from comics books:
Adaptation-Auteur-Masters

Osamu Tezuka
Katsuhiro Otomo
Akira Toriyama
Todd McFarlane
Jhonen Vasquez
Musashi Kishimoto
Aaron McGruder

These are the men who carry themselves equally well on the page and screen. They
possess dual citizenship in the very different, very similar worlds of comics and
animation.
Celtx is going to be my new go to writing and word processor software from now on.
Sure, Ill still open Microsoft Word, but Ive realized Ive wasted a lot of time and
physical effort on Word, when I should have been using the Celtx substitution
technique-method a long time ago. I just focus all of my literary energy into telling a

P a g e | 963

story by following my characters and scenes around everywhere in Celtx. Celtx has a
prose writing system in place, so theres that.

Im doing well with my Celtx software. So far Ive written a handful of beats/scenes
since beats are scenesand about 4 to 5 pgs of outline material, which is script prelims. I
wrote a lot today. I wrote a ton of preliminary script material. Ill flesh it out and turn it
into regular script on a different day.
Ive been writing a rough draft of my script for the past 3 or so hours. Ive never done
this much screenwriting all at once. I seem to be making progress now that Im opening
Celtx software as much as Microsoft Word.

Scripts for Parallax or Mono Comics are not written in a typical animation writer
fashion. They arent traditionally written. Aside from being highly violent and
descriptive, they are written cinematically. So I approach each of my scripts in a fashion
similar to how a Hollywood screenwriter of Hollywood or Hong Kong action movies like
the Wachowskis, Tarantino, or John Woo would write one of their feature film scripts.
The only difference is, I stylize the visuals even more, and exaggerate the movement,
camera angles, and style of the visuals so that it feels like an anime or animated series
with a highly cinematic and action film oriented eye to it. Just like their scripts, mine
have a lot of shootouts, violence, language, and general action to them.

Its about time I finally got around to creating script and sequential art pages finally.
And I am too.
In comics, everything starts with sequential art, which Im now producing (at 27).
In animation, everything starts with the script, which Im now producing (at same age).
Fortunately, despite much difficulty and setback, I havent given up on my career goal of
doing the work of an animation-comics creator-writer-artist.

You basically have 2 ways to get your name out there in the media. You can nitpick, or
you can be patient and continue pursuing your art part time.

Thursday, May 19, 2011,

Since Im a thinking man Im the creator and director of my own brand of action genre
that was pioneered by John Woo, Shaw Bros., the Wachowskis and Quentin Tarantino. I
produce what I like to call The Thinking-Mans Action Movie. Existential Action Film:
Thats my genre right there.

P a g e | 964

Great News: Ive drawn over 60+ comic book pages in the last 3 or so years, though the
vast majority of them are just roughs. Im sure eventually Ill get tired of roughin it
and move on to clean-up work. But for now, I have 60+ pages of sequential art layouts
completed. This is good because that means Im more than halfway to my first 100 pages
of comics. The artwork in these pages looks cheap, but its more than enough to be a start
to be happy with. Self-publishing and webcomics are definite options. WCN is here to
stay so Im sure Ill be with Webcomics Nation for at least a few more years, if I dont
start my own site for my comic book pages.
My pages dont have much composition, pacing, detail, polish, variety, rhythm, or
much natural narrative storytelling in them yet, but the more effort I put in, the more
results I will see. In other words, they will. Ill know when Ive truly made it in comics,
in terms of art. I just will. But the good part of it all is, things are starting to shape up.
So far 2011 is going exactly according to plan, which is surprising. But then again, 2011
is the first year I planned my creative work out, at the beginning of the year ahead of
time, before the year really began.
Goal 1:
(Animation)
Write a Script
I remember, starting this year, at the start of 2011, I wrote I wanted to write a TV saga.
So I began taking the necessary steps to reach that goal. In other words, I decided I
needed to write a script, spec pilot script, or group of series scripts. And as it turns out,
once I gave myself a few months this year, or the first half of this year, Ive actually
finally developed my own system of TV screenwriting. And Ive written around 10+ or
more pages of script so far. My plan worked. My plan has been working.
Goal 2:
(Comics)
Draw Some Sequential Art with Panels
Stop Focusing on Individual Art
This too is a goal Ive managed to check off and accomplish this year and beyond so far.
The plan is, Im making 2011-2015 the years Im producing the pilot, demo, or portfolio
work that might just get my foot in the door at a studio or publisher, if I luck out. If not,
Ill just keep on drawing and writing anyway, regardless until I do find a way to make a
living at my trade. Its career or death, or at the very least poverty for the rest of my life if
Im unable to find work. No matter whether I succeed or fail financially, whether its in
America or France or Japan or Korea or China, Ill be satisfied when the book is
complete and I have a fully fleshed out idea to sell. If I get my way, Ill attain a dualcareer in comics & animation. Doing just one or the other would feel incomplete.

P a g e | 965

2011 is my Foundation Planning Year

This is one of the main years I lay the foundation, archetype, prototype, model, mockup, blueprints, and whatnot of the early version of my creativity system. If Im not being
creative in these two main ways, it really doesnt count as much. What I didnt see or
realize before is, writing with CeltX and drawing sequential art roughs, as Ive done a
lot of recently, is just another way of thinking. Youre thinking on the page when you
write in CeltX or draw comics and sequential art.
You really have to build your achievement one panel sketch at a time, and use each panel
to build your success and achievement one page at a time. Is there really any way other
than building artistic success and a successful artistic life one line at a time? There
really isnt any other way than to build self-made achievement one part/component at a
time over decades, a very long period of time. 5 to 20 years at the very least.

New Business Challenges

PR
The Press
The Web 2.0
Wikipedia
Twitter
YouTube
Borders and Bookstores
Manga
Manga Fans
Anime Fans
The News
Anime New Network
Internet Movie Database
My Anime List (MAL)
DeviantART
Comic Book Agents
Producers Job and Responsibilities
Comic Book Creator Responsibility
Girls
TV Competitors
Competing Artists and Writers
Competition
Viacom
Copyright

P a g e | 966

Making up poses, whether for action or drama, is an artform. One I enjoy wholeheartedly.
Good Poses:
Burne Hogarth
Todd McFarlane / Spawn
Hiroaki Samura
Yuen Wo-Ping
John Woo
Jackie Chan
Shaw Brothers
Bruce Lee
Hong Kong
Japan Animation-Comics
Dragonball Z
Akira
Star Wars
Conan
Martha Graham
Maya Deren

Ive spent a lot of time developing what on the surface looks like a mere graphic novel or
26 x 26 half hour episodes of an American anime series: Apocalypse Blade. Then again,
Akira itself is only about 4 episodes long. But what a whopping 2 hours of power it is! I
want Apocalypse Blade to be a Masterpiece of Power, a Power Fantasy. And it will be.
No ones going to stop that, or even get in the way of that. If they try to, theyll be written
into the story, most likely. And if they annoy me and theyre not written into the book,
theyd definitely be written into the show. A response is waiting for those who would
make fun.
Im blind when it comes to sensing outside physicality. Other people have a much better
ability to sense and sniff out the physical nature of reality and things than I do. Im one of
the first to admit Im ignorant when it comes to physical things, from physical
coordination and work to pleasure. Im clueless physically. I understand the influence of
the mind, not the influence of the body. That latter part is something my adoptive brother
is very good at. Andrews always been really good at the physical half of existence. I
understand the mental much better in reality. But physics, physicality, and physiological
are important too. When I lose it physically, and when I lose my sense of physicality, I
really lose my sense of physicality!

P a g e | 967

Sunday, May 22, 2011,

According to my Numerology profile, I build nothing but classic and timeless
masterpieces of perfection that last forever and that also increase with value and
importance as time goes on. So do Todd McFarlane, Quentin Tarantino, Bill Gates, and
Dave Sim.
I have a new ambition Ive set my mind to. Funding, founding, launching, building,
running, managing, and promoting an American-based animation studio of the modern
era. It may sound ambitious, but I dont just want to succeed at it, I want to master the art
of building a studio from scratch. In other words, a business managerial talent. Ive
wanted to start my own business, but I wasnt sure what kind of business I should start.
Then it hit me one night (tonight). Why not make my business the business of
creating a studio, an animation studio. Most people are intimidated or baffled by
such a challenge. But I see it as a great outlet for flexing my building muscles. My
managerial, logistical, and entrepreneurial muscles. In the process I will become not only
an expert at business-risk-taking, and animation production, but also the politics of
animation, publicity, and management operations.
Studio Heads and Show-Runners
People With Managerial Know-How
Jhonen Vasquez
Todd McFarlane
Catherine Winder
Sean Akins
Katsuhiro Otomo
Mamoru Oshii
Production I.G. Studio Heads
John Lasseter
Walt Disney
Ub Iwerks
Bill Hannah Joe Barbera
Chuck Jones
Michael Eisner
Steven Spielberg
John K
Asaph Fipke
Marathon Studio Heads
Savin Yeatman Eiffel
Thomas Romain
Mike Judge
Genndy Tartakovsky
Osamu Tezuka
Akira Toriyama
George Lucas

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Peter Jackson
Nick Weidenfeld
Mike Lazzo
Linda Simenski
Monday, May 23, 2011,
Managerial Skills
Organization
Computer Savvy
People Skills
Negotiation and Diplomatic Skills
Delegation, Multitasking
Communication Skills
Art and Writing Skills
Filmmaking Skills
Emotional Skills
Storytelling Skills
A Cool Head
Entrepreneurial Talent

When you work as an Executive Producer, your job is to oversee day to day international
operations of all sorts, and deliver a completed animated show, on time, and on budget.
When youre a Studio Founder or Studio Head, your job is similar, Im certain, but Im
sure there is more it entails, and more involved.
I can no longer aim to be one man army. No one succeeds in animation by going it alone
the entire way. You need a team, employees, cast, and crew.
Steps to Take:

Get Funding
Accumulate People (Network)
Practice Drawing Some Days
Write Every Day
Build Studio (Gather Studio Office Supplies)
Pay Salaries
Pre-Production Methodology
Production Methodology
Post-Production Methodology
Negotiating with Clients
Attending Trade Shows (And maybe Conventions)
Communication

P a g e | 969

Subcontractors (Local and Overseas)

Negotiate Deals With Lawyers and Agents
Supervise or Produce Production Artwork and Writing
Approve Pre-Production, Production, and Post-Production Artwork
Oversee Hiring and Possible Firing, The Latter if Necessary
Purchase Studio Computers
Purchase Production and Art Supplies and Equipment
Develop Work Schedule for Team, Cast, and Crew
Develop Budgetary Plan (See how much everything costs)

Ive also apparently gone into comic book production.

Questions?

How long will it take to draw a page, each page and cover?
What software will I use?
What drawing production supplies will I use?
How am I going to attain the level of art quality I want? Will I draw it all, or will I
find a successful collaborator? Lindsey didnt really work out. I found her art kind
of disappointing.
What sites will the comics be published on? Hopefully not DA or WCN.
When you design and build your own animation studio, you get to:

Build a Foundation Production Method, Filmmaking Style, and Business Model

Make a Lot of New Friends, Colleagues, and Peers
Become Empowered and Influential
Make a Lot of Money
Produce TV Shows
Invent Your Own System of Production Rules
Develop New Methods of Making Animation

Some skills you need as a Studio Head that you might not need as just an artist

Organization
Social People Skills
Business Skills
Managerial Skills
The Ability to Delegate
Facilitative Skills
Negotiation Skills

P a g e | 970

Most Successful Studios:

Pixar
Williams Street
Cartoon Network Studios
Production I.G.
Titmouse

Production Methods and Techniques

CGI
Digital Editing
Aspect Angles
Multiplaning
Refracted Light
Costume Design (is this department necessary)
Production Design

Digital Filmmaking on Computer in the U.S. vs. Digital Filmmaking on Comp in Asia

Monday-Tuesday, May 23-24, 2011,

I dont know whats happening. Im going through my newest change in my life.
Everything feels different, yet everything feels the same. Im feeling like Im growing
into my power, like I actually have real power now, not just theories and hypothetical
power. I feel the foundation of existence, and what a powerful, unshakable foundation it
is. Ive gotten into some serious conflicts and have crossed paths with people who would
normally terrify and intimidate me, but it doesnt even leave a dent. Not a scratch, not a
dent, not a fear of any sort. I feel like I can take on the world, and Id actually have a
chance of winning. I cant figure out what kind of change Ive been going through. Not
entirely. Some of my memory feels lost a little like I feel extra forgetful, or quasiamnesiac, and yet I cant think of anything I actually forgot. I still feel like people can
read my mind and body language, but I have nothing to hide. Im pure at this point. I
dont feel guilty of anything, except being a brilliant beautiful person. I guess this is
growing up. I was watching a concert-esque TV special on TV, and I didnt feel at all
intimidated by the crowd. That never happened before. Either that or it hasnt happened
for a long time. Im the same writer, but Im not sure if my writing has got or will get
better or worse. That has yet to be seen. I feel like the things I suspected before, no matter
how baffling or well hidden or inexplicable or scary, feel obvious and out in the open
now. Any other changes? Some, but I cant put them into words yet. The last time I felt
this way was under much more negative, dangerous, malicious, and traumatic
circumstances, the night that one neighbor got arrested for emotionally threatening me.

P a g e | 971

Notations on neurobiological changes:

I just accept my life now, in some ways. Im less apprehensive

My sense of time isnt very good. Its hard to sense my biorhythm
Im not intimidated by people who emotionally threaten me, or ugly/angry bullies
Im absent-minded
I accept myself, and my life for what it is, how it is, where it is, right now. Most
of it.
I looked at a big enormous scare-mongering malicious image in the news, and I
somehow I felt like I had the enormous strength it takes to confront it, so at first I
looked away, then it wore off, the shock wore off, and I stared at it, and even
when another one showed up like it, almost like a horror movie monster with
artificial intelligence, from that point on, the fear didnt register as much. That
kind of imagery doesnt register with me like it has in the last 10 years. Im
considerably less intimidated by true spiritual threats, like ugliness, malice, anger,
rage, carnage, pandemonium, and death.
I still sense everyone knows and knows about me, or at the very least it feels that
way. The fame still feels real. But it doesnt lock me up and paralyze me like it
did. Nor does it terrify me, at least currently it doesnt. Im me. If I collapse, I
collapse. End of story.

Is this Enlightenment, or just a new phase in my evolution

But the question still begs: I can still write, but can I still draw? Eventually, Im going to
dive in and find out. Not at all intimidated by work like I have been previously.
So apparently, opinion is split, 50/50 over whether my life story is an actual archetype, or
a stereotype. I like to view it as the former myself.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011,

Unconscious Learning Desensitization Exercises (to reduce and eliminate anxiety and
fear of failure, fear of the creative process, or fatigue.
Screenwriting: Keep CeltX writing program open at all times, or at least as much as my
journal
Drawing Comics, Layouts, and Storyboards: Bury my face in drawing books and comics.
Sit at both writing desks and my one drawing desks for at least 30 minutes to an hour, or
half the day or more, keep blank paper in front of me, or clipped to a clipboard, drawing
board, or light table, with tracing or sketchbook/computer paper at all times. Watch TV
while sitting at desk
Windsor McCay is my new animation-comics hero. Hes inspired and/or influenced
nearly every major player ever to make modern or classic animation, Ill get into his

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career story in a minute. First, his achievement: Making drawings move on camera and
on screen. He was the first traditional animator ever, even earlier than Ub Iwerks and
Walt Disney. He was animating before there was ever a studio to animate in! He
influenced such artists as Walt Disney, the Fleischer studios, Chuck Jones, Osamu
Tezuka, Moebius, Katsuhiro Otomo, Shamus Culhane, Maurice Sendak, Bill Watterson,
and anyone whos ever made experimental, traditional, or modern studio or independent
animation. Anyone whos ever animated a drawing owes something to Windsor McCay.
If you animate or produce or make animation for a hobby or living, youre borrowing
from Windsor McCay. He invented the medium: Animation, and was well aware of his
own greatness in relation to history. He predicted animation would rival or surpass
traditional fine art one day, and (financially, and popularity wise at least), it did. To say
nothing of Pixar, Toei, Viz, Funimation, Tokyopop, Production I.G., Walt Disney Feature
and Television Animation Studios, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, MTV Animation,
Adult Swim, and LucasFilm. All todays major players in animation owe him everything.
Ive got a lot left to write about Windsor McCay. Hes one of the most successful artistwriters, animators, storytellers, cartoonists. Its hard to fathom that kind of influence.
Thats Bill Gates or Henry Ford level influence. McCay created such classics as Gertie
The Dinosaur and Little Nemo in Slumberland, which was more comic than animation
really.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011,

I aspire to go into Studio Ownership for some of the same reasons George Lucas and
Todd McFarlane did when they made their main properties, Spawn and Star Wars. It has
to do with me having very original pre-production materials, and wanting to make a
project out of them, but everyones either ignoring me or telling me no, so like George
Lucas and Todd McFarlane (with LucasFilm and Todd McFarlane Productions), if I gain
industry experience, Ill work my way up through the ropes, and use the knowledge and
possible connections I might gain to start my own production studio, just like George
Lucas and Todd McFarlane. Very few people in animation would buy a film or show like
Apocalypse Blade. The only way I could execute some of my production techniques
(since theyre innovative and no ones done them before really) would be to own my own
production company, build the techniques, and do the 26 short 25-minute movies that
way.
Since its a possible TV show, Im going to need to get some work done on some sort of
short film episode. In a way, the story needs to be self-contained, as does the preparation.
From now on, Im drawing Monos coat flairs like a mass of black dancing flames, with
fractals, wavy lines, curves, swirls, and all that. Makes it easier to draw that way, plus its
kind of a different look for him. It used to be easier to copy and define. The only way to
truly protect your designs is to keep drawing them over the years. The more you sit on
your ass and do nothing, the more the competition and rip-off artists have a chance to
catch up to you and make bad copies, or what is essentially stealing and plagiarism from
young artists.

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Its the steamroller effect with me. I just flatten everything and everyone in my path, and
then some. The problem is, I can only keep such emotional intensity and manic power
up for 2 to 3 days, if that, for drawing pre-production work, comics, writing scripts
and the like.
Ive written a lot of intense action description. Saving Private Ryan and Three Kings
never gets old to me, even though I havent really watched them recentlyjust mad,
crazy, psycho ballistics. Theres something primal about that, that appeals to an
audience. Just fills them with fucking glee, and I love that.

Keeping Track:
Counting Pencils, Inks, Roughs, and Cleanups:
So far
Ive drawn 140 comic book pages
& written 15 pages of script
My stack of comic book pages (roughs and polishes) is the same length as the Galaxion
Volume 1 Trade Paperback I own (140 pgs.).
Only 60 pages to go until I reach the length of the Johnny the Homicidal Maniac Trade
(200 pages).
Paperback Length:
Galaxion (140 pages)
Johnny The Homicidal Maniac (200 pages)
Naruto (200 pages)
Akira (300 pages)

Actually, Im glad there are no adaptations of Mono in anime. Theyd ruin my vision,
probably soften it somehow. The best person to be drawing Mono is obviously me
Its really awesome that I drew 140 pages of comics and no one cared or noticed. Im
glad I finally have that kind of freedom to hold a big stack of self-produced comic book
pages in my hand. Its like my journals. Now I have a script and a comic book I can
actually carry around with me and hold in my hands, thats actually sort of heavy.
My competition has been dreading this moment, and thats definitely a reason to
love it. If no one really was able to stop me from drawing 140 comic pages, no ones
probably going to be able to stop me from doing another 40 to 50 or 100 more at that. Im
going to KEEP producing comics untilWell, Im going to draw comics forever

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probably. I no longer draw comics for the money. I never made money from comics to
begin with. Im drawing comics for no money and an audience of 1 to a few here
I foresee my comics getting more voluminous and more refined and polished over the
next 10 years or so. But at least, for now, theres a big thick fat stack of 140 comic
book pages I drew, clipped together
I think my problem with comics and animation was that I was drawing for other people. I
was seeking vindication through other people I didnt know too much. Too desperate
have I been in the past for people who clearly would never willingly choose to vindicate
me. I spent far too much time looking for vindication everywhere and anywhere, other
than and except my comic book work, drawing the pages and working my ass off,
kicking ass the old fashioned way: by producing actual layouts and pages.
Finally, my workwhich Ive been conceptualizing on paper, in roughs for over a
decadeis manifesting into reality and becoming a book, a narrative, a sequential art
comic. Ive been drawing all my life, but I havent taken drawing comics in sequence
seriously until just recently, as in the last two to four years. Im going to have to teach
myself how to clean up and polish my artwork, the more rough and sketchy stuff.
Screenwriting is currently taking a backseat to sequential art. Actual comics.

Been working harder than normal. Ive actually managed to clean around 50% of my
room, something I normally dont have the energy to do. Now I can actually see a large
portion of the floor.

Lately, Im more of a man of action than a man of theory. If something doesnt get done
its meaningless, like the lives of most of the people living in America today.
I am back on the computer, and considerably less hungry for power. I dont even feel like
I want power anymore. I happen to have plenty of that at my disposal. Even cleaned up
my room with some of it.
To be a prolific artist takes physical strength. I dont know why more artists dont realize
this. Dave Sim, Katsuhiro Otomo, George Lucas, and Todd McFarlane are incredibly
strong people. No weakling could produce something as epic as AKIRA or Cerebus and
live to tell about it. Just because one has strength but also the nobility to defend the meek
doesnt mean theyre weak. Thats bullshit. Bullies dont understand that not all strength
is, needs to be, or should be aggressive. It takes wisdom to realize that just because
strength dominates, that doesnt automatically make it the only thing you need. I have
strength now, and Ive never felt such stamina before. And honestly, I dont know where
it came from. I didnt even take a 5 hour energy today, and it wasnt therapy or
medication. I didnt even go to therapy lately. And I didnt take medication today. I dont
know how not having medication in the morning affected me, other than I got a lot of my
strength back, along with a lot of extra strength and endurance. I havent been or felt this

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athletic in a physical sense alone since my childhood and early adolescence. I lost a lot of
energy in high school and college. It turned me into an old man in a teenagers body. All
those drugs.
Just finished working out a little bit.
Strength is either something you have or something you dont. With the more of it I have,
the more energy and physical strength Ive gained in the last day or few, the more
convinced Im becoming that its not something you can consciously attain, even if it
were by willpower alone.
Oh, nevermind. I was just manic. I was hyper-manic. That would explain all the tons of
energy and strength. That was a pretty epic, amazing, powerful feeling. But it didnt last.
And as soon as I realized I had it, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Im superstitious about creativity, particularly drawing. Why am I so superstitious about
drawing!? Is it really that supernatural. Or is the superstition self-fulfilling. Can I really
draw 6,000 pages in a row if I set my mind to it, pray/meditate/drink/cast a spell? Or is it
all strength and routine and like any other sort of work, and just work hard and youll get
there?
According to Todd McFarlane, its all practice. And it is. Lets be logical about this. So I
need to practice, and just keep the pencil moving.
Drawing power can also be emotional. Thats another source, albeit an uncontrollable one
if were talking aboutcontrolling it.
Sunday, May 29, 2011,
Got a lot of drawing done today. Not a lot of forethought, or pre-planning, just sat down,
lied down, got the paper and pencils and pens out and drew. Kept the pencil moving. I
was drawing nonstop all day today. I got around 40 pages done. I didnt really watch
much TV at all, nor did I use my laptop very much, if at all. I just never made that big of
a deal out of what I as doing. I didnt always keep track of how many drawings I was
producing, and I ended up getting so caught up and involved in the drawing process, and
being less and less aware of where I was. I was so involved in the drawing process today
that I lost my sense of time and place. I was literally in those art pages on an emotional
and psychological level. I was living in my art work.
I spent all day today, from the time right after I woke up to an hour or two ago before
now (7:00 p.m.) sitting at my main desk all day, putting pencil and pen to paper, keeping
the pencil moving, and just escaping into the paper, improving and perfecting my
drawing technique, trying to find meaning and reliability and adventure in the way I
apply my lines to the page. It certainly wasnt painful. It was enjoyable. This isnt
painful at all! I kept muttering to myself. Before today, fatigue could literally make me
mistake drawing stress for hurt, and actually feel like drawing was hurting me. That

P a g e | 976

seriously hindered my stamina on the page. If drawings not hurting you, you do it all day
(and sometimes all night). Its really that enjoyable and involving. Its like playing video
games or martial arts or writing journals or something. Few if any words went through
my head while I was drawing all day today. My right brain took over, and my mind was
focused on and all about pictures and images and lines and forms and shapes on paper
today. I started off really cartoony, trying to capture the emotion of what I was seeing
around me on paper, which ended up manifesting some humorous sketches, and one very
appealing study of the cover of Galaxion. I was happy with that drawing, so I continued.
All the previous elements I had been meditating and practicing and visualizing on paper
in my room suddenly came together, with female anatomy, and coats, and fabric, and
wrinkles, and handguns. The reason I could get so much drawn was I was coming down
from a potentially manic strength high.
A strong body is a strong mind. And when I have strength in general, as opposed to
fatigued laziness and unhealthiness, I can get a lot done in general. Not just a lot of
drawing.
Due to my power level, drawing doesnt hurt anymore. It doesnt even feel like a chore
anymore. I draw when I want to, how I want to, whichever way I want to. Theres no real
wrong way to draw

Monday, May 30, 2011 (Memorial Day),

So far, for all of yesterday and much of today, Ive been drawing all day, every day for 2
solid days so far, averaging 40 pages of drawings a day for 2 days in a row so far. Thats
a new record. Im practicing drawing a lot of things: Everything Im good at. So thats 80
pages of sketches and drawings in 2 days. If I kept this hard work up, maybe Ill be an
artistic virtuoso one day. But its not about one day really, or even next week. Its about
right here, right now: The present moment. As long as Im living in the Now, I never
slack or dilly dally. The only way to get a lot of work done now like I did today and
yesterday, is to focus on where you are now.
Ive added up my page counts for the day, and as it turns out, Ive come an extremely
long way since my early days drawing comics design pages in 2004. In 2004, on average,
I would draw 1 to 3 pages a DAY, TOPS. Today and yesterday, I drew 40 pages a day,
and 80 pages over the course of 2 days. If I keep this up Im going to drastically improve
at every area of art Im good at, including detail. Im doing 10x the amount of work I did
in 2004-2009! Oh yeah! Whats my secret? With enough energy, you can do the work of
10 yous. And never draw for the day on an empty stomach. Always eat a normal size
meal before you begin your work session, even if its just hotdogs. Some artists never do
stop drawing. Theyre literally at their desk all day and night for weeks on end, 24/7
spent drawing and designing and animating. At least in Japan anyway. Just always
remember theres always some other guy drawing a lot more than you. Why not try to
match the best, or at least compete with them, even if you always lose. You wont lose by
your own standards even if you find you dont match the hardest working artist. Many

P a g e | 977

good artists need to be in top shape, or at least very healthy and at least have a large
amount of energy to be able to draw all day like I have.

The most detailed classic production design artists ever:

Moebius
Katsuhiro Otomo
Most detailed current artists:
Todd McFarlane
Corey Senderov Jackson
Do my best to match or surpass these levels.

Designing a comic book (or in some cases, an animation or anime world) is one of the
most enjoyable things you can do if youre any good at it. World-Building. Great world
building, or great layout drawings for animation can change animation history. Great
world building in comics can change comics history. Master builders build history. Great
Production Designers change film, TV, comic book, and animation production design
history. It really is that powerful.
World building, or production design is incredibly enjoyable, as its really like molding
clay and sculpting reality with your own hands. You sculpt and construct the buildings
and cities, and countryside, or desert regions, or any other location that will house the
action and events of the world. Some world designs look small, others look enormous and
vast. Some are simplistic, while others are texturally complex. If you want the production
design to be one of the stars of your show/book, you really need to put some time into it,
the pencil mileage and the hours invested establishing perspective, architecture, textures,
etc.

Different animation studios produce different densities of work. Some studios work
harder than others. Some dont do much of anything, and some produce some of the most
beautiful illusions in animation history.

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World-Builder: On Being a Master-Builder

A Manifesto
I am a slave to NO mans close-up. Im a Master Builder. Im a World Building Artist.
Im a World Builder. I do exactly what artists such as Moebius, Katushiro Otomo, and
Corey Jackson do. I build worlds. Just like the title says. Perspective is my weapon.
Architectonics is my Castle! The World I Build and Construct, or make up is my
Home. I have a place to live: The Landscape on The Page. Its incredible fun to explore
my own world, that Im building myself. Every new area I discover and explore is one I
construct and build on paper, with pens and pencils and architecture and perspective and
textures and pencil mileage.

Something weird is going on.

My sense of balance is off.
My memory is not all there
Im discombobulated
Coordination is off
Strength, energy, and stamina are increased.
Tons of drawing done. But the more I talk and think about drawing, and the more
analytical and obsessed I become about it, the less I want to draw.
Lesson: DrawingDont think about it

Ive been a little too desperate to make my comic book panels up lately. Ive used
reference before when I first started drawing comics, but those copied pages looked really
bad. I think Im going to start using online photos and images like Google Images for
each panel, or at least in some panels. Just kind of as a visual-emotional reference. Just
because youre drawing comic book pages doesnt mean you can only use other comics
for reference. Theres all kinds of cool reference stuff in photos and on Google.

Publishing anthologies of my own comic book pages is kind of a secret hobby of mine
that no one knows about yet. I publish comics for me and myself only. If I have enough
comic book pages sitting around, enough sequential art and whatnot, then I can publish a
collection of comics in anthology form. It doesnt really show much storytelling yet,
other than in one or two page-long intervals. Im finally able to publish comics in privacy
and peace. Public personas havent really worked out all that well for me. I fail massively
at maintaining a public persona. Oh well, Ill get over it. Nowadays, celebrity is more of
an obnoxious hassle than anything else. Im not doing comics to get famous anymore.

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BUILDING COMICS:
Components of building comics:
Simple steps to building and publishing your personal comic collection you created
Have the following:

Printer Paper and Pens/pencils

WCN Account
Lulu.com Account
Lulu Printers
Reference Material, For Panels
Do the following:

Sketch a lot of pages. Gather material you build and create to use in comics
revisions and final draft.
Create Comics. Finish a Lot of Pages
Scan Comics
Upload Comics: To Lulu.com (printing, publishing, distribution)
Upload Comics to WCN (webcomics distribution)

There was a time, in the post-Japan JM era when I would tailor make my comics for an
Asian or Japanese audience. That time is gone. Now I just draw whatever Im good at,
and whatever I like. Im no longer concerned as to whether or not I have Japanese
readers, or a readership in Japan. I dont live in Japan, and trying to reach a Japanese
audience is really just too much work. It takes too much effort. I need to develop stronger
confidence in my own way of writing and drawing, or telling stories. Actually, Im not
concerned with audience or readership at all really. Only I see whats really going on.
Nothing is going to change this.

Pre-Production Animation and Comic book quota:

1 20-page comic book issue (give or take a narrative storytelling flow)

10-20 pages of storyboard paper completed
20-40 layout artworks of Shadow Op 7
1 26-page TV script

These dont need a story, they need a continuous flow of action

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Working with

Schedule
Budget
Imaginary Crew
Who is responsible for what

Due in 2 months: August 1st

Im not sure if I like managing projects, but someones gotta. If I dont, whos gonna!?
And I need to start thinking of the comics production process as a test and proving
ground for the day to day operations involved in the disciplines of managing an
animation staff at a studio. If I cant manage myself and deliver my work on time,
what kind of example would I be setting for the 50 to 200 employees under my
wing? I need to set a good example and high standards of writing, management,
animation quality, scheduling, budget, and design. I need to serve as the go to guy for
cheering my team on to victory. Right now my crew is just in my head, but one day, that
crew will be real. Ill have real people working under my wing, just as soon as I get my
own shit together.
My vision of the explosive revolution in design, the internet, anime, manga, and
Asiahas been realized. After years of seeing it out there, all of these categories have
now fully realized their potential. You cant get much higher than a billion people, in
terms of the internet.
Storytelling, or writing and/or drawing an actual full on narrative, is hard work in any
medium.
Dont pester buyers of your product until
A) You actually have finished projects to sell (Script, Book, Comics, A Series Bible)
B) You have a budget at your disposal.
Until that happens, youre better off leaving high powered contacts alone.
My writing hardly ever tells a narrative. It hardly ever has a purpose or direction. Maybe
I should find a way to fix and go beyond that hindrance.
Im not sure. I feel like Ive come to resent and despise my recent popularity and success.
I like being a failure. Theres more to being a failure than failing. Theres a humility and
honesty about it. The more I think about my own success, the more I resent success and
miss not being popular. I liked struggling, it gave me some honest ambition to work for.
Thats real. Theres something inspiring about never really succeeding. When you
succeed all the time, you have nothing left to strive for. Once you reach a goal,
unfortunately the goal no longer exists and changes into an achievement. Thats not fun.

P a g e | 981

Story idea: Drama. Mono must adjust to the changing circumstances, even though it hurts
him to think about it. Dialogue and character design heavy.
If you are royalty or regal, you cant just live your life expecting to be treated like
royalty, particularly if no one recognizes you.
I got Volumes 4 and 6 of the 6-Volume Akira Manga Series today. Through the mail.
I want drawing to be as boringly compulsive and as predictably consistent as my
writing skill. Well, first off, I doubt it functions the same way, so Im going to have to do
a better job of figuring out my over-superstitious, neurophysiological, fatigue-prone
and emotionally sensitive drawing process. I yearn to fill up sketchbooks with lines,
forms, patterns, perspective, and textures the way Moebius does, and Katsuhiro
Otomo does. I want to add and keep adding to my pages the way they do. Just never
stop adding on details and textures to one building. Just keep adding textural values
and never stop. If it takes more than 2 to 3 hours or more than 1 day to finish a detailed
sketch, so be it.
On Wikipedia, about webcomics, it claims, rather boldly, that Very few cartoonist
produce work that is self-sustaining. Odd how that works out, considering the fact that a
webcomic drawn and written by the Penny Arcade creators just got optioned by
Paramount as a potential movie deal. Clearly someones keeping tabs on webcomics,
even if it is just Hollywood and Viacom. Webcomics 98% of the time will never make
you rich, but the medium does possess a lot of potential for better artwork and writing in
the future. I prefer to focus on that. If I do end up publishing webcomics online any more
than I have already, Im planning on becoming the Moebius of webcomics, just as I
aspire to become the Moebius of indie comics. That or the Dave Sim of web and indie
comics. Start off as a cartoonist. Leave the world a graphic novelist. With comics,
there really should be a form established first, in all areas of the visual paper
narrative production, before any words are written to explain whats happening, or
whats going on.
Visual Development To-Do List:
Design the Following:

Mono going boating, or him sailing

Docks
Neighborhoods
Streets (urban, suburban)
Office Building
Cars, Vehicles

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Animation vs. Comics

Comics: Pencilling, Inking, Writing
Animation: Storyboarding, Animating, Cleanup
I like Moebius use of the phrase animation cinema. This is a broader term than anime,
and encompasses both anime and cinematic or detailed Western Animation. The art of
animation cinema and comics cinema is my field of work.

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P a g e | 984

Chapter 38
(XP)

P a g e | 985

Saturday, June 04, 2011,

French animation cinema and comics auteur literature are anime and manga. America
should take after the French model of comics and animation. In French comics, on many
of the covers, you really get a sense of the extreme height of the cities, architecture, and
buildings in French graphic literature, or animation cinema in book form. Theres a lot of
artistic talent coming out of France. Im obsessed with the pop culture of that country. I
love France. I love French art, comics, and animation. Theres something about French
architectural style and design that draws me in. Plus, in many ways I already have a
natural talent intuitively matching the style of my comics with numerous French auteur
comics already. So far Ive gotten a chance to check out some titles from France. Stuff
like Orbital, Blacksad, and Valerian, not to mention Moebius art style.
Recent comic book genres Ive been reading: French comics, Chinese comics,
webcomics, and world manga. Anything thats weird and entertaining. Other than Akira
Trigun, and Blade of the Immortal, I dont really read all that many Japanese manga
anymore. I feel much more at home with the French for some reason. Maybe its genetic:
an intuitive genetic-geographic inclination of some sort. Just a theory so far really; I
believe your genetic code can predispose you to be inclined to like certain parts of the
world, even if you dont know anything about your own heritage or genetics. People just
feel a natural inclination to be with their own kind.
French comics are quite literally tall comics. No one can convey a sense of towering
Vertigo-causing height in their architecture like the French can. Even the Japanese dont
seem to convey height in their comics the way the French do. A Franco-Belgian comic
book cover can actually make you dizzy looking at it. It really jumps out at you that
much. I mean, just look at the cover of the first volume of Orbital. Makes me dizzy
looking at it, it has so much height and detail. Like Blade Runner and Akira, but taller.
The French artists have mastered auteur style, perspective, hyper-detailed production
design and architecture, cinema, and literature. How in the world am I ever going to catch
up to that countrys visual-creative and narrative output? I want to catch up to the French
level of art, cinema, and literature, which is to say, hyper-detailed and prolific.
Clearly Ive reached the next level with my art and writing. Im at an all new level of
knowledge, skill, and compulsive work ethic. The feeling of being lost, unbalanced,
discombobulated, and forgetful is going away. I was very lost for a few days there.
You know, I dont think I should be hiding behind my heroes Todd McFarlane, Jhonen
Vasquez, Steve Blum, Hiroaki Samura, and Katushiro Otomo my entire life. Theyre still
my heroes in a way, but I feel as though Ive worn out my welcome with all this hero
worship hoo-haw. Hero worship is okay when youre young, but there probably is such a
thing as being too devoted. My hero worship has gotten in the way of me finding my own
voice. The problem is, Im kind of addicted to hero worship. Ill spend all my days
worshipping one or a few heroes all day and all week or month, trying to think like them,
talk like them, act like them, draw and write like them, just be like them, unconsciously
of course, and Im beginning to think that kind of bugs people, particularly some of my

P a g e | 986

heroes. Yup. Im definitely a hero-worshipper. If there ever were a group of heroes in the
90s and first decade of the Twenty-First Century, I probably worshipped them. Whatever
happened to my enthusiasm for my art?
The truth about power? And heroes? Hero worship is for kids, who havent grown up yet,
who have no powers of their own. But yes, I do have power, but Im not going to worship
myself, just because I have power. Something about doing something like that feels
wrong to me. Maybe I should worship God, or architecture, or drawing practice.
I think I know where the misunderstanding lies. My heroes Ive tended to worship. They
and I both have power in society. Their art is the power. Their power manifests most in
their art. While my power manifests from myself. Thats why everyone uses me as a
muse, for better and worse, because Im a powerful personality. Im like a Hollywood
celebrity or rockstar. My behavior and lifestyle is eccentric and questionable, some might
say reckless, thoughtless, and careless. My work can be like theirs in some ways from
time to time, but Ill never be less famous than my work. I already am more famous than
my work, even though growing up I prayed for the opposite. For my work to outshine
me. I really hate upstaging my own creative work with my own presence, temperament,
and personality. Thats the most frustrating thing in the world, because do I ever really
put effort into controlling my personality? No. Im a natural actor. Thats what
personality is. I think and act naturally.
I really should be more afraid of setting a bad example for younger artists. I sense some
people less wise than myself, and probably younger, might be picking up on some of my
negative cues, in some divinely messed up way. And I cannot tolerate that. Im probably
a bad role model, but thats because I didnt grow up wanting to BE a personality role
model.
In Art: Where the power is and comes from:
Architecture
Cities
Camera Angles
Costume Design
Design
Martial Arts
Dynamics
Perspective
Effects
Doing a good full page drawing
Density of the pages
My priorities are definitely shifting. But what are they shifting into? Im still motivated
by creativity, power, and money, but not in the same way I used to be. Im living a
different life now.

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Currently Im not sure what I want out of life. The anime market is overcrowded, and no
one pays the indie comics market any mind anymore, outside of webcomics.
A Joseph that doesnt hero worship, that doesnt work with animation people, that
doesnt use the internet, or obsess about anime or Japan? Do I really want to be that guy?
It feels like everythings been done before. And its hard to move or be anywhere in my
room, so real mobility is impossible.
I think Ive realized for a while now that there are quite a few people who cant accept
the reality of me being one of the main faces of the animation or anime industry. Theyre
too upset by the way I live my life. They think Im a slob, and to a degree I am, but that
doesnt mean I cant handle a job writing scripts for a living. But do I still even want to
work in animation? Maybe Im just not cut out for this line of work. I do and say too
many inappropriate things, things that could be construed as offensive or distasteful, and
do offend peoples tastes. I make mistakes too. I just hope it doesnt cause me to be out of
work for the rest of my life, and cause no one to take my phone calls or hire me. IS IT
already doing that? Sort of. But I cant say that entirely honestly. No one was taking my
emails or phonecalls or saying yes to me from the start, so in a way, even if my situation
is bad or has become bad, very little has changed in my day to day life. I just feel really
stuck in a rut, like no one wants to work with me. All they want to do is talk about me in
front of my face, while Im sitting right there, instead of actually reaching out and talking
to me. I feel like people are avoiding me, even when Im standing right in front of them.
No scandal here. If I did have scandal in my life, everyone would be in my face. There
always in your face if you do something really seriously. Thats not me, and yet some
people seem to think it is, and I cant figure out why. Theyre just not seeing what I see
from my perspective. Even with all the illegal spying and eavesdropping people big and
small do on me, they still cant get it through their heads what its actually like being me
on a day to day basis. They read my messages online and see where I am online, but
thats not the same as hanging out with me and having a one-one-one conversation with
me in my own house or in an office like I do with my therapist.
I like sitting on my ass and doing nothing. But I hate the outer chaos, restlessness,
laziness, isolation / isolated loneliness, and boredom that all go with it. Still, If I wanted
to I probably could do that. Its tough to be a couch potato when TV is as bad as it is in
the middle of the day currently. So daytime televisions mostly not an option.
I like being active and having goals, but I can easily get discouraged from being active
and my goals by weariness, social anxiety, disgruntled family members, and an internet
thats just a tad bit on the socially creepy side. And a lot of people will tell you being on
the computer isnt being active.
So whats left? Im not trying to build an empire anymore. I just want to take it one day
and step and drawing at a time. Slow it down a bit. Roku? Well, its better than TV. This
journal? Fun sometimes, but I really need to do more actual real storytelling. Not just
numb babble.

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Im more productive when I dont separate the work from myself, literally in a literary
sense, and emotionally, in an artistic sense
My book series is an embarrassment. Its way too personal. Why would I want the reader
to eavesdrop on a conversation Im mostly having with myself?
Ive created what one could technically count as a product, but its so raw and unrefined I
can tell just by flipping through it no one will read it during my lifetime, even if both
books are 1,200 pages long. What an odd experiment. I keep procrastinating on editing of
my writing and cleanup of my artwork as well. I just like manifesting. I like producing,
working, and creating, or manifesting output.
Things my temperament readings call me: Genius; Powerful; Mystic; Visionary; Builder.
I like empowerment through self analysis or personality analysis.
Nothing feels new to me anymoreeverything feels old, worn out, played out. I think my
hobbies have lost their inspirational spark, kind of the way peoples spark goes out of
their marriage. Ive lost my creative passion.

Im fascinated by the art of manifestation. How consciousness manifests thought which

manifests creativity, which manifests through the hands onto paper with a pen to create
art and patterns, pencil mileage, and art as a form of thought. A phenomenological look at
art. Art and Consciousness. Art and the Doors of Perception. Sounds like fun. Now
theres something thats philosophy and aesthetics and art talk or shop talk, that I want to
write about.
One way to figure out and teach yourself how to layout a comics page would be to
arrange it geometrically, with basic real and deformed geometric shapes filling up each
panel
With my comics, I get to do new things. I get to do innovative things. Things that have
never been done before. The kind of comics Im trying to draw dont exist yet. Its my
job to build that world and make that comic series exist.
Monday, June 06, 2011,
Creating my own technology is so cool! Its like building your own house, or farming
your own food or something. Like quasi-manufacturing. Few things are as cool or
comforting as creating my own technological systems to make my own life easier, just
like what I did with DVD authoring and YouTube. Ive made major contributions to both
forms of technology. I know a thing or two about creating technology to make people of
all types more comfortable. Its my job! Making things easier with science and
technology. The greatest thing about creating my own technology is Im now able to vegout and get comfortable while using it. It definitely works. And Ive definitely made a

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breakthrough. The technology systems Im inventing is making me a lot more

comfortable. Technology is a natural talent and skill of mine, just like art and writing.
I like the idea of digitally preserving things, specifically, digital things Ive created:
Things like

Word Documents
Manuscripts
Websites and webpage(s) Ive created
WMV and FLV video files Ive kept, downloaded, uploaded, and created
Jpegs of art I own or created

Im glad the government wants to preserve digital data and content. Ive got a lot of it.
Posterity might find it useful.

Strategic Planning
A Strategic Plan Involves 3 Forms of Analysis, and 1 Form of Execution.

Logistics (Planning)
Tactics (Action)

The Three Elements of Strategic Planning and Logistics Includes:

Analysis of:

Past
Present
Future
Contingency
Whether youre running the Whitehouse
or an anime studio,
you need strategy,
and a Strategic Plan
Strategy also involves analyzing a situation,
and an honest analysis of strengths and weaknesses

Contingency is not planning for defeat and failure. Theres clearly more to it than that.
Contingency planning means planning for the unpredictable events of the future, the
unaccounted for, the unknown, the hidden or concealed, unexpected or unpredictable

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things, events, and occurrences in general. Contingency Planning means planning for all
things that could block, hinder, stop, debilitate, discourage or deter a plans execution.

I can only think of one independent comic book series in the United States or much of
North America that has ever utilized as much strategic planning as my comics do. Most
indie comics are not planned out all that extensively, with the exception of rough
sequential art and sketchbook pages by the artist. Im beginning to think I over-planned
my main project, to the point of doing very little tactics and execution, and way, way too
much theorizing and logistics. I need to stop planning so much, and refocus that energy
into execution, as in sketchbooks and page layouts, and basically, a lot of art.
When drawing comics, there are 2 to 3 main types of pages that need to be produced to
get to work and make things happen:

Static Sketchbook Pages (characters, covers, backgrounds)

Action Movement and Pose Sketchbook Pages (anatomy of fighting)
Sequential Art

Tuesday, June 07, 2011,

Lately, I havent been drawing comics because I hope to succeed at it or profit from it.
Those days are far behind me. Im just kind of drawing comics and animation to keep my
skills sharp. To pass the time and keep myself occupied.

Almost everything I own, create, or have in my possession is solid, deep black. I love the
color black. I like using the color black as a symbolism for my own inner-outer power.
Black is a Power Color, and thats one of my favorite things about the color black.
Black Posessions:

DVD Cases I make

DVD Wallet
Comic Book Covers
Monos Costume (his trenchcoat)
The Biggest Book Ive published
The Essays Book I wrote
Mono Chronicles Covers
General Comic Book Covers
My Flat Screen TV
My bed sheets
My Laptop and Computer
My DVD Recorder

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My tee shirts and pants

BlackIts not just an art thing. Its a symbolism and display of my own overwhelming
power.

Press Release!
Ill probably review streaming video sites on my blog at some point in the future.

I guess I should stop fighting it and trying to change what I cant, and just accept the fact
that my drawings talent function differently than my writing abilities. They dont work
the same way. I want them to. I want them to so much, but that is not how it work. God
built me this way. How my talents manifest on paper is exactly how theyre supposed to
manifest. Thats the way God created me, and my ability to draw and write. Me drawing
imperfectly is Gods way of demonstrating my own inner perfection. The perfection of
self-realized humility. Im not in control of the art. I am in control of the writing. My
abilities have been biased towards my writing work (the Left Linguistic Brain instead of
the Right Creative one) for a long time. Its too late to change that about myself, because
believe me, Ive tried. So Im going to just have to accept it and work around it.
Im a masterful writer, but Im really just an OK artist, with some exceptions that are
actually quite amazing.
I think the key paradigm shift here, in terms of the way I think, is acceptance. I accept my
skills for what they are, rather than trying to willfully shift them into what they arent. No
amount of energy or discipline is going to make me a super-artist, or even that much
better of an artist than I am now. Take it or leave it. Love it or hate it. Im not changing
just because of what people may or may not write or draw about me in the media, and Ill
never accept that my style is entirely crude either. My living style may be crude, but my
art is not.
Animation Areas that havent been explored much in the U.S.:

Costume Design
Fight Choreography
Production Design
Screenwriting
Comics-Esque Storyboarding

In comic book choreography in American comics, youre trying to do something very

difficult to do in an analytical sense. Im trying to portray interpretations of movement,
motion, and speed, as represented by still, static images arranged sequentially in
individual compositions across the page.

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Wednesday, June 08, 2011,

There are two types of lines that represent motions and speed in comics, a technically
static medium. Speed lines (Japanese manga) and motion lines (American comics).
One of the hardest historical questions in comics out of its entire history, which still
baffles artists to this day, is How does an artist represent motion in a static imagemedium?
Comics panels are static, as are storyboards. But animation and anime move on screen (or
look like theyre moving), and the difference between comics and storyboards is, when
you draw storyboards, youre working towards the goal of guiding and directing what
will be turned into movement.
Speed lines are infamously harder to draw than motion lines, which also happens to make
motion done with those lines often look better too.

I want drawing art both good and bad to replace TV watching as my number 1
recreational, leisure, and relaxation activity. As long as watching TV fills me with this
much hate, Im not going to partake in this spectacle anymore. Live action, talk show,
and comedy television is so horrible. Unwatchable. So I wont watch it at all. Id rather
do something enjoyable and constructive, like what Im already good at: Art and writing.

How to draw like Corey:

Fill up every sketchbook page, the whole page, with small patterns taking up a large
space. Layering for entire page. Get accustomed to covering 90%-98% of page with
detail patterns. This gets your brain accustomed to thinking in terms of layering and
detail. If you fill up pages with patterns on a daily basis over many years, its that much
easier to do detailed cityscapes and architecture if your brain and hand eye coordination
is accustomed to drawing in Corey Senderov Jackson sketchbook mode. This is how all
the detailed artist draw. Dont just draw final renditions detailed. Make all your
sketchbook pages crowded with lines, forms, and textures.
Two artists Im copying the most lately?Frank Miller and Corey. I cant get enough of
Frank Millers comic book art. And Coreys sketchbooks. Frank Miller is an excellent
artist to study for Notan and positive and negative space (hes the best at what he does).
Corey is good for textural details. In the near future, Im going to be combining,
integrating, and synthesizing the two.

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Production Design Pioneers

Blade Runner
Akira
The Long Tomorrow (Moebius)
Invader Zim
With me, its all about portraying cities and urban landscapeswith geometric and
abstracted science-fiction aestheticsin animation or comics form.

Wow. I really am starting to draw like Corey now. Im beginning to unconsciously

absorb some of his design aesthetics in my own aesthetic architectural designs.

Ever since Ive been drawing comics seriously, Ive been trying to go for a distinct
cinematic feel that can also be found in manga like Akira and French comics. Or even
books like I Feel Sick and Dave Sims Cerebus The Aardvark. I take a lot of influence
from animated film, anime, some manga like Akira and Dragonball Z, and live action
Hong Kong, French, and American Hollywood and international cinema. The best way I
can think to describe what I do would be Paper Movies, or Movies on Paper. I think more

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in terms of cinematography, production design, storyboards, and choreography than I do

in terms of actual art, though I do view textures and detailing as important.
In terms of being a multi-racial genius, Im one of the best there ever was. But I dont
want to be waited down by a social category like race. Thats part of why I always hide
my face. I know people would judge me by surface appearance, either because Im pretty
fat, or because I have curly hair, or because I dont entirely look white. Ive always made
the effort to look and think beyond this. Im not ashamed of who I am, but I know
physical visibility cares more social weight with it, and Im a cerebral spirit, not a social
one.
Friday, June 10th, 2011,
At one point, in my unconscious mind, upon watching old 60s kung-fu Shaw Brothers
films, I said I want to make a NEW Shaw Brothers franchise, or series of films (shows),
but with science-fantasy, sword-and-city production design and costumes. No ones seen
that before. Yes, if I create anything, it will be that. My own creative and choreographic
interpretation of the Shaw Brothers assembly line wuxia style. And thus, with that, the
great filmmaking production Master Builder has spoken!

Top Shelf might must be a good match for my work. Cartoonish art, international
editions, bookstore presence, big thick books like Craig Thompsons Blankets, literary
and artistic narrative credibility; definitely along the lines of everything I strive for. Ill
keep them in mind.

Saturday, June 11, 2011,

Some book and DVD genre company series Im interested in buying all the different
series, movies, DVDS, or books from:

Dragon Dynasty
Anime Legends
Planet Stories

Im so very fascinated by the classic and contemporary Hong Kong action film scene.
Im starting to collect and watch Hong Kong martial arts cinema like I collect and watch
anime, obsessively, compulsively, and continually. Just like anime I watch just about
everything in the Hong Kong wuxia martial arts genre I can get my hands on. I own
around 12 live action martial arts film DVDs now, and I read quite a few books on the
Hong Kong martial arts, as well as watch a lot of video of martial arts online, as well as
read books on the subject and practice martial arts in real life occasionally in my spare

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time as a hobby. I dont just film, draw, write, read, watch, study, and appreciate the
martial arts. Im also a hobbyist practitioner.
Lets play recognition keep-away!

Dear God,
Please allow me to draw 500 pages of sequential art on 500 sheets of paper. Or allow me
to go beyond that and draw 1,000 pages of sequential art on 1,000 sheets of paper. Please
grant me the power and strength to draw continually, filling up the entire page, every
page, for at least 500 pages to 1,000 pages, continually and compulsively.
Thank you,
Amen

Damn. The pencil drawing tutorials online all suck and dont explain anything about
advanced drawing or art design, or texturing, or polish and cleanup with ink or pencil.
Guess Im on my own. Why is it so hard to get good advice on how to draw.

Re-Acquainted Goals:

Acting
Voice Acting
Painting
Writing Novels
Using Photoshop
Writing Screenplays
Inking
Pencilling

Since Tokyopop died and is no longer publishing, my new number one choice(s) for a
publishing home, outside of my already existing home (webcomics), is the following
publishers:

Image
Dark Horse
Marvel
Top Shelf
France

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I kind of want to work on books with Top Shelf the same way I wanted to work on books
with Oni, SLG, and Tokyopop. But Oni and SLG clearly hate me, so working with them
is just about impossible.
However, Ive learned that it doesnt matter which publisher you go with, so much as you
need to focus on making your books as good, well written, and well drawn as possible,
and if you can focus on and succeed at that, there will be plenty of publishers and media
companies at your disposal. So in other words, just focus on working hard and making
good comics.
Maybe in the future I can graduate from WCN to Top Shelf 2.0. Im already kind of
pretty good with the whole webcomics thing. Maybe I should take that and develop it.
WCN and Photobucket are where I mostly reside. But TS 2.0 would definitely be a step
up, seeing as they have editors and whatnot. I dont want to submit to professional
webcomics sites until I have a more disciplined drawing rate, and can work under
deadline.
The cinematic, narrative, architectural, fighting, and positive/negative-space elements of
my comic are innovative. No ones seen an indie comic like the kind Im doing.

Sunday, June 12, 2011,

Southeast Asian cinema by from Hong Kong and Japan by Eastern filmmakers, and
manga, and French cinema, animation, and comics, are some of the most creative,
intelligent, and aesthetically and technically innovative entertainment and storytelling in
the world. France, Hong Kong, and Japan are three very innovative cultures. Theyre the
innovative underdogs of the film, literary, and media scene.
I did some amazing drawings while I was in high school and art school. Ive done some
amazing, perfect art in pencil and charcoal, on a very epic scale, on larger than life paper.
Paper thats more than half as tall as I am. Amazing fine art life drawing work, on an
epic, large scale. Why arent I drawing like that anymore. I need to spend more time on
my art pieces, and draw on a bigger scale. Rima Jabbur trained me to draw like a pro. But
Ive gotten rusty since then. And I havent bought many anatomy books or studied from
fine art and anatomy teaching books in a long time. How do I re-capture that creative
spark?! I think the pressure of fame really did get to me! And it killed my support system.

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New Drawing Techniques and Foundation

The Fundamentals: Perspective, Anatomy, Fabric, Composition, Textures

Pencil and Charcoal Shading: Black, White, and Gray
Acrylic textures
Composition, Positive and Negative Space: Filling up the whole page
Pen and Ink and Notan
Sequential Art
Keeping a Sketchbook (Consistent Practice)
Master Studies
Painting with Acrylics
Photoshop

I do have a grand vision, or visionary foundation for where I see animation of the future
headed. Im going to build the future of animation in the United States, through my own
efforts and own work. My main things are drama, action, intrigue, cinema, martial arts,
and violence. And my main genre is mature, adult animation. I see the future of American
action as becoming a lot more violence and action and mature animation, which will
probably in response to the style of animation I create. Outside of Spawn and the
Boondocks, there theres not a whole lot of American-made and designed mature adult
animation in the action genre. Some shows flirt with the idea of doing mature action
cartoons, or they stylize it and or kind of skimpy on the cinematic elements in favor of a
more cartoonish graphic style, but very few, if any creators have really committed to
doing dramatic cartoons in the action genre yet. This is unexplored territory. Im not just
building a show. Im building an entirely new style and genre of animation and comics in
the United States. I have a vision for where things are headed, and I follow it until I see it
completed. How do I build it? With paper, sketchbooks, notebooks, pens, pencils, and
computers.

These publishing inconsistencies that keep showing up in my books, from unwanted

glossy comics pages, to oversized books, to undersized books, it truly is driving me
crazy. Im not happy with Lulu.com lately, but at least I have an outlet to be published.
Better it be flawed or imperfect and printed than perfect in my head and nonexistent. I
keep forgetting I need to measure the pages of books I like to see what format they print
their work in, the pros vs. me, the Joes. Well, technically were both pros, but you know
what I mean.

I know Ive wanted to have my own animated series ever since I grew up watching
weekday afternoon and Saturday morning cartoons in the 90s. We didnt have anime
back then. Not my generation. Ive wanted to have my own TV animated series since at
least 93 or 97. Thats how long Ive been drawing comics for, and Ive drawn comics in
hopes of adapting one of my comics for just as long, a long time now. Its a very strong

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passion of mine. Ive always wanted to have my own TV show. And then came anime,
WCN, YouTube, and Lulu.com. Ive also wanted to draw comics for a long time now,
ever since I read Todd McFarlanes Spawn, and Bone by Jeff Smith, growing up, along
with many others. Ive never allowed my personal life to interfere with my ambitious
dreams. I was not the most strategic kid growing up. I just knew I wanted to be in charge
of my own vision and project for many years, ever since late childhood.
When I was growing up, you drew comics, drew in your sketchbook, went to school,
hung out with your friends, and hoped to submit your material to a comic book indie
publishing company one day, and that was your only hope of having your own show if
you werent really connected to Hollywood, growing up in a suburban town. Kids
nowadays dont seem to realize how much easier they have it, how many more options
they have now than people like me had growing up, wanting to break into showbusiness.
There was no internet or email or Google. There was no YouTube. There was no
DeviantART, or Twitter. There wasnt anime or manga or Adult Swim or Cartoon
Network. There wasnt Webcomics Nation or Lulu. There was comic book stores, a table
to draw on, art supplies, snail mail to mail off potential submissions, and a vague dream
of success. THAT WAS IT!

Monday, June 13, 2011,

There are some drawing techniques Im going to have to re-teach myself, because Ive
become somewhat ignorant of them again:

Measuring proportions of a drawing (w/ ruler, pencil, string)

Perspective placement/integration
Pencil shading for light and shade
Sketching lines and textures in a sketchbook

Elements of measuring proportion:

Height, Overall Height
Width, Overall Width
Relativity from one forms contour to another (comparative proportional measuring)
Things to measure proportions of for copied art:
Comic books
Coffee Table Art Books
Drawing Books
Anime Publicity Art
Manga Books
Internet or Magazine Photo (printout)

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Its harder to control my artistic abilities than it was to control my writing abilities. Its
like the art I produce, or my drawing technique and process has a mind and will of its
own, independent of me. Its tough to harness and control something wild and
unpredictable like that. They say you draw what you know and like best. Thats true I
suppose. Its almost like my drawing process itself is like a sentient being. The less I
think about it while Im doing it, the more I do. If I think about drawing a lot before or
when I start doing it (and often, later on as well), I never start anything, I never get any
drawing done. Drawing must never be spoken of, only efficiently executed in action and
compulsion. My writing I can put into words and thought. My drawing and art doesnt
afford me that luxury.
About drawing and comics:
Yes, the final artwork is the end product that one sees, reads, buys, and pays money for.
The art product is the reaping of what I sew. Drawing and putting pencil and pen to paper
is the sewing, finished artwork and comics and animation is the reaping, the reward you
reap. The best artists are often the ones most comfortable with the artistic (and) drawing
process, who constantly draw every day without complain or real pain or suffering or
stress, because they inner strength and Artisan spirit has trained them not to be
discouraged or pained by such alleged setbacks as criticism, ridicule, fatigue, laziness, or
embarrassment. Kind of like my writing. Ive already achieved Artisan level
temperament with writing (I have a compulsive need to do it). The thing is, I need to
share some of that Artisan craft and energy with my designer-artist-illustrator half, and let
the artistic side of me flourish. Every moment spent writing is a moment spent not
drawing, but instead writing.

Art vs. TV
Drawing Artwork vs. Watching TV Shows
Often, Ill end up watching TV instead of carrying a sketchbook around with me and
drawing, without even consciously thinking about it. TV is an older habit than drawing,
and one Ive historically done more often, unfortunately. Thats going to change.
Drawing is easier if you learn to consciously picture drawing, yourself drawing, images
emerging, and artwork manifesting in your minds eye, kind of like meditation or
dreaming.
I want future artwork I produce to be Theatre of the Minds Eye.
Well I need to spend time visualizing or manifesting something, and it might as well be
something that manifests from my consciousness and my mind, not someone elses.
Hence Art participation enjoyed over TV. TV is easier, its made and produced for a
lazier type of person who wants easy answers, but in the long term, visuals on TV dont
really collect and accumulate and build and snowball over time the way art work does if
you create enough of it on paper. Art I draw to entertain myself and create my own world

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separate from this world is way better, far more entertaining, and far superior to the one
other people project on me in my TV, through my TV.

I probably shouldnt worry about backgrounds in my comics just yet. So I wont!

In terms of my sequential art, Im going to make the background color of my comics 60%
black, 40% white. Im good with the color black, so Ill stay with that color.
Another tactic Ill be using is to draw comics pages all the time, so much so that Ill
gradually take a right brained draw non-symbolic art) approach, instead of a left brained
(dont draw on the comics page, keep drawing symbolic clich forms) approach which
is all Ive done till currently, and its really gotten in the way of making good looking art
appear on my comics.
Im isolated by my infrequency. My talent level isolates me from the world. I have been
envied, hated, and vilified by many, nearly all of whom Ive never met.
The Age of the Glory Days of the Animation Executive Producerare long gone:
Notable Executive Producers of Yesteryear:
Jhonen Vasquez
Todd McFarlane
Bruce Timm
Eric Radomski
John K
Matt Groening
Dave Willis
Aaron McGruder
Jeff Kline
Being an Executive Producer is a lost art. No one in anime appreciates producers. They
only respect famous manga-ka (i.e. not me. Cuz Im not famous).
There are words to describe my animation design and writing work: New. Original.
Mature. Visionary.
I attained my first comic book page spiral-bound sketchbook today. The pages tear out
and the pages absorb lead and ink pretty well. Now whenever I do a drawing, it will be
for a comic book page, regardless of if its polished, clean, or rough and sloppy. These
are 2 sketchbooks Im specifically buying for creating comics. Its been getting easier
with the more Ive been practicing it.
As an artist who seems to be on The Rise (The Rise of J.M. Strebler), Im starting to
notice some things about being a somewhat successful comic book artist. The great thing

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about having famous artwork is that you seem to draw some very devoted loyalists and
fans, or followers, who follow everything with your name on it. Its kind of like at
some point, almost everything you do, if not everything you do is acceptable in the eyes
of your fansand the press. The media is tough, but its mostly nice to true superstars in
the eyes of the media. Things will be written about you. Things will be said about you.
Articles and internet websites will be created about you. When you get near the top of the
mountain, so much of your work ends up lying on the foot of the mountain youve
climbed, from each step youve taken, that the work youve created over the years, the
brand youve built for yourself, really ends up being a mountain itself. Whether its book
and comics printouts, websites, comic book pages, pages of pros. Ive seen Katsuhiro
Otomos mountain as seen in Akira Club, and thats a perfect example of just how many
thousands if not millions of printings of your work are openly sold and displayed locally
and internationally, throughout the world in national franchise merchandise and
international printed and manufactured editions. Thats the thing about anime-manga.
With creators like Eiichiro Oda, Tezuka, and Otomo. They generate the prototype and
model for that mountain, but what they do can also be considered real art in one sense.

Thursday, June 16, 2011,

Not long after I achieved a new record for most pages drawn in 1 and 2 days (40
drawings 1 day, another 40 the second), Ive achieved a new, even newer record:
I drew a total of 12 comic book pages in 2 days. In a typical week, up till this point, when
I bought the comic book sketchbooks, my daily rate of sketching comics pages was 1 or a
few drawings in one day, if I was lucky. Now Ive completely transcended that limit, and
I say its about time I finally increased my comics page rate. Im so very proud of myself
for reaching this new level.

Developing Art Discipline

Frustration
Fatigue
Anxiety About The Future
Depression and Boredom

These are all natural parts of developing, evolving, and building a healthy sense of
compulsion and addiction to discipline and will power training and practice, and making
a skill around it. The brain and body are a willpower muscle, and just like a muscle,
training them, exerting force over them, and practicing or exercising discipline over them
can fatigue, exhaust, exert, and make them feel hurt like a muscle, if I use them for more
than 2 to 3 days in a row. Being inert (inertia) and rusty at drawing and art and diving
right into it, blatantly and all of a sudden, will make your brain-psyche feel hurt, fatigued,
and exhausted like a muscle. Thats why its good for me to have a machine-like system
of paper format and decent art supplies to fall back on.

P a g e | 1002

On a socio-cultural and historic scale at least, old = powerful. Things with history behind
them are more powerful than things without. The longer something or someones been
around, the more powerful it or they are.
As animators and animation staffs, the Japanese Southeast Asian animation staffs and
manga-ka are bigger on stylistic copying, duplication, and replication of form and
geometric or proportional perspective, anatomy, drapery, and design, than they ever have
been on actual innovation and originality. Theyre really all just ripping themselves (the
culture of artistic borrowing, i.e. the doujin market) and the rest of the world off, visually
speaking (see Tezuka and Disney), and through that imitative Eastern technique
manifests into eventual originality over time, years, decades, and centuries, leading all the
way back to the days of Osamu Tezuka. Each film or TV show is a duplication of and an
improvement upon the last one or specific genre in Japan. This is a Japanese specialty.
(which is normal for artists. Most good artists got good by copying other artists) The fans
and otaku glorify anything and everything Japanese as super detailed and super original,
even when a decent amount of it is clearly not (Its cute or sexy instead. not naming
specific titles of course). Americans, from what Ive seen of myself and other artists I
know, want to create something truly innovative and new. Some might say too much so.
In America, we actually want to see more Jhonens and Aaron McGruders and Dave Sims
and Todd McFarlane and Genndy Tartakovskys and George Lucases: Regardless of how
expensive it is or how much work at takes: Innovation at any cost, damn the odds of
rejection. Something groundbreaking and inventive, that no ones ever seen before.
Thats the nature of American and French animation. And its the reason we glorify
anime the genre so much, because thats what the most influential animation critics and
fans and artists see in the best anime: Originality and detail and action and cinema and
invention. Because compared to what a lot of what we American Westerners and gaijin
have produced recently, when you compare the two by surface, it does seem better. But is
that even a fair assessment, to judge everything through the lens of young adult
audiences, thirsty for rebellion and violence, on the surface? Yes and no. Theres always
exceptions.

New-Earth Babel
I want to approach drawing Mono Jubei in a Frank Frazetta, Michael Moorcock, Boris
Vallejo, and LucasFilm type way. Where I develop my universe, or New-Earth of the
Post Apocalypse, and I develop my hero and supporting ensemble cast to populate that
world with, then sit back and let the story tell itself. Often, if a concept is good, it can
really just write itself. If you plan the details of your story out enough, whether linearly or
nonlinearly, the events will play out, the whole thing will jump out at you and come to
life, and hence the universe is established.

P a g e | 1003

There are hints of authoritarianism in the Shadow Operative 7 Organization (S.O.7).

Something kind of 24, Men in Black, Mulder & Scully, Tom Clancy ish. And yet theres
that dark and macabre elements of Nosferatu and his minion army of the Demons, lurking
in the shadowy dark landscapes and corners of the mysterious, darker regions of New
Earth. Some of the sky in new earth is orange and red, as is the tint of the camera, but
when night falls its an ominous, somewhat terrifying and dangerous place, full of
shadowy Dracula-worshipping creatures of the night, lurking in the shadows, hungering
for human blood and flesh, Blood+ style. Except many of the monsters look closer to
Doom, Devil May Cry, and Half-Life shoot-em-ups videogame creatures and Stephen
King Shadow Phantoms and Specters than anything out of Blood: The Last Vampire. In
the New-Earth Universe, terrorists are quite literally demons, which is a good-vs-evil
themed metaphor inspired by contemporary life, 21st Century style. Some of them can
shape-shift into human guise, set up liquid nitrogen car bombs on buses in crowded
metropolitan areas without being noticed, killing innocent civilians and never apologizing
for it or having any sort of conscience in the matter, like the sociopath monsters they
areonly babbling about how much closer they are to God than the rest of us, bragging
about how much greater their God is than ours, attempting to kill anything or one that
stands in front of their cult-like agendaand some are literally monstrous creatures, with
jagged teeth and gouged out eyes, and hand body parts that have claws with needle-sharp
nails, and lizard-insect like shelled skin. They are beast-like, reptilian and bug like in
structure and nature. Theyre hard to kill, unless youve got enough bullets and shells, or
the right kind of blade.

P a g e | 1004

P a g e | 1005

Chapter 39

P a g e | 1006

Saturday, June 18, 2011,

Film noirlike pulp fantasy, Moebius, Arthurian Legend, high literature, and
expressionismis a specifically Western narrative art form. These subgenres were
invented in both Europe and America. The Japanese have been known to experiment in
these styles so far every once in a while, but they never really linger there for generations.
The above mentioned subgenres are some of my specialties.
Types of City Design

Anime City
Cyberpunk City
Steampunk City
Neo-Tokyo
Expressionist City (Dark)
Moebius City

New Art Assignment:

I like the color red. And I like images of mountain ranges and canyons. And sunsets and
clouds.
So heres what I want to attempt to paint next. A sunset mountain range like the Arizona
Desert or the Grand Canyon or Swiss Alps, but with a Star Wars: The Clone Wars
reddish production design art tint. Clearly me, and the LucasFilm staff, the people who
work on The Clone Wars animated series are thinking along the same production design
lines. I want to design and paint some of my own interpretations. But I keep getting
visions of red post-apocalyptic clouded skies, maybe with a sun there, maybe not. But
Im going to need photo reference, and reference material, for the mountains at least. I
already know how to paint clouds in the sky, and Ill continue to paint cloudy skies as
well, all black-&-red, or white-&-blue of course. I looked through my imported book of
famous Japanese anime production design, and there are no red skies in that book, and
its anime. The Japanese dont typically use red and often not even orange to color their
skies. Except the one Zatch Bell end sequence I saw. The sky Mono takes flight in will
either be blue and white with clouds, or red and orange with clouds. Ill start off abstract
and redraw and repaint it many times until I get the amount I want and get that amount of
drawings right and make them match my vision I have in my head: The endless red.
When painting landscapes and still life, as Ive learned, there is always a majority tint or
dominant color, and as a painter, its your job to identify and spot this color in all
compositions, both for practice, as an exercise, and when youre actually painting. I
always find mixing colors in my palette, using the right amount of paint, and cleaning the
paint off my brush (with a cup of water) to be some of the more frustrating elements of
painting.

P a g e | 1007

Aside from painting scenery, I also want to paint such things as:
Architecture
Effects
Fabric
The Human Form (Life Drawing, Fine Art)
But Im constantly baffled by the following: What color is a Caucasian persons skin
when painted. Generally, in cartoons when we see realistic humans painted in anime and
animation, the color of their skin resembles the color pink and peach. But what color does
pink and peach derive from?
But there isnt any denying on my part, Im not as afraidof experimenting in painting,
figure painting, or landscapes or portraits, or painting practice in generalas I used to
be. And yes, Im talking about hand painted. The truly old-school method. Photoshop is
cool and all and Im sure Ill eventually buy and practice with Photoshop at one point too.
But traditionally hand painting is less expensive, and creates a different feel, or texture,
than Photoshop. If I get really good@ Photoshop, Acrylics, gouachethen I can
probably paint my own covers just like Ive been doing with my notan pen-&-ink covers.
Ive got way too much time on my hands anyway, and Im not even rich. Ive only done 1
successful figure painting so far, and its primary color was crimson read. I painted it with
pastels. My early gouache and acrylic attempts at painting humans failed, and I thought
they sucked. Im sure Ill get better with more practice though. A lot of practice means a
lot of skill, and Im determined to practice a lot, sooner or later, Im going to do a whole
shit-load of practicing.
My least successful colors to paint with are green and brown. My most successful are
black, red, orange, yellow, and blue.

Art Books by Like-Minded Artists

French Comics Tomes
Star Wars: Visions
The Art of Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Akira Club by Otomo Katsuhiro
Justice N Mercy: The Concept Art of Min-Woo Hyung (Tokyopop)
Claws of Darkness, Illustrated by Jerry Cho, Written by Josev (origin: China)
Blacksad: Written by Juan Dias Canales, Illustrated by Juanjo Guarnido (Dark Horse)
Sam Noir by Eric A. Anderson and Manny Trembley (Image Comics)
The cool thing about the above artists is, they all know I can draw. Were not officially
associated, but we recognize each other in certain ways. There is some kind of emotional,
psychological, perhaps even spiritual and psychic link between my art and theirs. From
trenchcoats to sabers, black ink, and concept art. We are bound by not only style and
reputation, but also common themes and our visionary natures. Theyre all real life

P a g e | 1008

auteurs, just like me. If I could give an award named after me to somebody, Id give it to
these guys and some others as well. Karas, Strait Jacket, and BlazBlue are very
impressive works by other artists as well. Some of them havent sold that well, but I
definitely noticed them. That must count for something.
Im in the process of establishing my own aesthetic tradition in comics and (potentially)
animation. An aesthetic tradition in comics of violence, martial arts, action, storytelling,
pacing, and Samurai-Noir-&-Apocalypse Fantasy Lore. A new universe and modern
mythos opened up to the world. My influence has been most of the things that inspire me
the most often. Instead of A long time ago in a gallexy far away, it could be written
Many years from now, in a Future Built Anew. Id like to do something like a Ghost in
the Shell Intro, but then jump right into a Frank Frazetta, Tolkien, and George Lucas type
world, where swords are drawn constantly, in a far off future.
End Times nowadays actually kind of strikes me as a mixture of an experimental
independent comic book one shot and a Sin City Doujinshi. One of the very first, if not
THE first American doujinshi based on an American comic book series that didnt
originate from Japan. Or at the very least, thats the effect I was going for with the
covers, just getting used to designing and narrating illustrations in that famous art style
Frank Miller pioneered for the West and East. Other artists who experiment with and
incorporate silhouettes and positive-negative contrast would be Glenn Murakami, Bruce
Timm, and Toulouse Lautrec. Theyve all experimented very successfully with shadows,
silhouettes, and/or neo-noir (Lautrec wasnt neo-noir of course).
Im planning on making an End Times style storyboard series and layout artwork, mixing
Frank Miller with Corey Jackson and Spawn somehow, and making it my own along the
way.
Also, I need to buy the Scott Pilgrim series sooner or later. Scott Pilgrim is freaking
awesome as a comic book. The movie, ehI still like Bryan Lee OMalleys work.

How to Storyboard or Panel Action (fighting, movement)

Necessities:
Script
Research Material (DVDs, pictures, comics)
Elements to Establish:
Story
Motion
Timing
Rhythm
Lighting
Movement

P a g e | 1009

Flow
Staging
Perspective
Study other artists fight and action sequences & scenes in both animation and comics.
The more easily you can adapt and switch between mediums, the better.
While I do love both equally, and animation pays better, it seems like theres just more
niche employment opportunities in comics than there are in animation right now. Comics
are author-centric. Television animation is mostly not. But thats not to say that I cant do
a little stylistic spec storyboard, production design, and script work on the side. I can.
I get so bored during the day. Theres nothing to do around here except draw and write
and watch videos and a little TV. Not much else to do really.
My telepathy-based mentors-sensei who dont know they inspire me so much, or that
theyre my sensei:

Min-Woo Hyung
Todd McFarlane
George Lucas
Moebius
Katsuhiro Otomo
Dave Sim
Eiichiro Oda
Stu Levy
Jhonen Vasquez
Catherine Winder
Yasuhiro Nightow
John Lasseter

I seek knowledge from the Gods.

I drew a great storyboard / character design sketch of a close up shot of Jen earlier
tonight. Turned out awesome.
Top Shelf always does seem like a viable option for my career in the future. At least
lately and currently it has. They publish the kind of stuff I draw. I need to create more
material and sort my stuff out to see if theyd be appropriate.

P a g e | 1010

Sunday, June 19, 2011,

After a long hiatus of declaring myself not a Buddhist, Zen Buddhism has captivated
me once again. Im returning to practicing Zen Buddhism. I just completed a brief
meditation session in my room late at night. Thich Nhat Hahn, Lama Surya Das,
Deepak Chopra, Ken Wilber, and The Dalai Lama are among my preferred Buddhism
teachers. I need to return to right living. Ive been led astray. The key to being happy is to
seek Enlightenment and Spiritual Wisdom. If Buddhism can bring me closer to God,
Lord-God, the Cosmos, Existence, Sentient Existence, and All That Is, all the better. I
like science and technology, but Ive always been somewhat mystical in my
consciousness as well. Its just Ive lost touch with it in the last decade or so. My
activities include exercise, dieting, meditation, writing, drawing, introspection,
contemplation, and prayer. Ive been too sinful and impure in the eyes of myself and
some others lately, and that bothered me, that people didnt trust my spiritual self. Not
that they did to begin with, but it would be nice to be appreciated for my soul and spirit,
not just my artwork and opinions and engineering skills.
There are some areas I plan on continuing to study, for a long time, if not the rest of my
life:

Zen Buddhism
Tai Chi Chuan, Tai Chi Sword
Martial Arts (study and practice)
Figure and Production Design Paintings
Perspective
Drawing Action
Screenwriting
Sequential Art

In a creative, professional, cultural, and intellectual sense, I am very, extremely lonely. I

have no one like myself to interact with. The only one who listens to me is my own
creations and property, and they dont really talk. I hate being so lonely, and not having
any other artists to interact with other than Lindsey or Donna.
Theres really no school or training classes or any kind of authoritative education system
for dealing with actual life. All they teach you is academic data and random information
in school. School doesnt teach you about things like competition. No one taught or
schooled me in how to deal with my life now. No one even warned or prepared me either.
I learned through on the life/job experience. If theres anything about life I learned
from John Woos alleged philosophy on career and life, it would be the following: Being
a good person at youre job is good and all, but one needs to strive to be good on all
accounts, if at all possible. All elements interact with one another, whether we want them

P a g e | 1011

too or not, so its impossible to neglect your personal life too much if you value youre
career. John Woo knows this. And now after reading that one book about him, I do too.
When it comes to the press and what they document in articles and interviews, publicity
really only cares about what youve already done, not what youre going to do, even if
that ends up being exactly what you do in fact do. Achievement has weight. Ambition
doesnt.
French comics win, hands down, in terms of making things look in perspective and far
away, just as Japanese manga is the reigning champ of costume design, etc, etc.
When French comics artists draw backgrounds stretching out to look really far away, they
really go all out. French comics convey the greatest essence of multidimensional
perspective, architectural height, and architectural distance, often times even more so
than artists like Corey Jackson, but hes up there too, in terms of perspective. All of the
above have a solid grounding in perspective and depth of field. Im planning on studying
these kinds of comics. I just got those un-translated French comics in the mail today to
add to my collection of the two that have already been translated into English.
New Word: Architexture. The texture of mechanical, architectonic, and detail design for
urban, cyberpunk, and science fiction aesthetic textural landscapes. French comics, both
old and new, explore the area of architexture quite a bit.

I would say my creative work is local, but its also independent, as Im the only one
really working on it. There are no other local people working on it. Im a national talent.
Everything I do is made in the United States, by the United States, and for the United
States. The United States will make you rich. The Far East will not. I live and work in
America. Im proud of that. I know it. I get paid in American dollars. Not yen.
Im a negotiator, a diplomat, and a goodwill ambassador between America and the rest of
the world. My job is to create goodwill and keep the peace, bring peace to the world by
any means possible.

When we see a man-made miracle, like Lord of the Rings, Cerebus, Akira, or Star Wars,
The Matrix, we are deceived. We think it is man creating these miracles, simply because
such manifestations are built by human hands, thaumaturgy and all that, but thats really
God stepping in. God is giving such storytellers the power and will to create something
larger than them. Builders of Great Literary, Cinematic, and Artistic Art get the privilege
of working side by side with the creator, in the creation and building of something
timeless, a classic that is bigger than them. Gods bigger than me, hes bigger than you,
God is bigger than all of us. God is the only thing that makes a 6,000 180,000 page
literary and comic book portfoliolike that of Tezuka or Simpossible.

P a g e | 1012

Now that I think about it, its no wonder I got so worked up about my Mono comics
series. To me, good comics arent just comics, theyre miracles. Therefore, for me, in my
mind, its not just writing, drawing, and publishing comics. Its performing miracles, kind
of like Manifesto, which I view as a smaller miracle. Creating a book is creating a
miracle. Its like magic, youre creating something, a great project, a great product that
people buy in stores, and that earns a lot of money. That is a miracle, at least in a
symbolic sense. So to me, drawing comics isnt just drawing comics. Im actually doing
my best to use my powers to channel and harness God. God is the one that gives me the
power and empowerment to manifest power, the actual power of God. Cerebus, as a book
transcends the appearance of a mere book, but instead, epic books have been an open
display of Gods actual power. No wonder I worship epic storytelling. Its God. Great
books are also great miracles.
I think the biggest mistake Ive made up till this point has been a simple one: Placing too
much importance in finishing a giant book or book series, and putting little to no effort
into drawing only one comic book layout and page at a time, in terms of being both
penciled and inked. This needs to be what I want. Aspiring to have a collected volume
will mean nothing if I reach that goal but dont put any thought or effort into the process
of getting there. Happiness cannot come from completing a book. I need to focus on 1
page a time. Just because Ive seen the limit of what can be done in indie comics doesnt
mean I need to rival that amount, or even go anywhere near it. Thats not where my
abilities are. First I need paper, which I have. And I need reference material, which I
have.
Also, I dont share my writing. I just let loose in my writing. Why do I need to show my
art to anyone either. I dont need to, so no more of this online gallery crap. Thats a bad
habit. It turns to shit, just like too much coffee.
Ive tried everything to get me started on drawing decent comic book pages. Nothing
works.
Ive tried practice, self-hypnosis, energy drinks, meditation, talking to my family,
praying. Whatevers blocking me from taking action is quite a powerful opposing force.
[future note (June, 2011), days later, an email response from a real anonymous (to you
anyway) professional indie comic book editor, who critiqued www.jmstrebler-art.coms
gallery helped me there. She recommended me a book on making comics (Drawing
Words, Writing Pictures), I ordered the book from Amazon, hoping the material written
and illustrated in the book would help me, and it did help me. Now Im just excited to
make comics, not stymie myself!]
I dont feel worthy of the praise so many people dump on me. And Im not very good
with criticism either. Im highly sensitive to both. And I can be thrown off my game by
both.

P a g e | 1013

I dont know why I pursued art more for praise than for the satisfaction of a job well
done, especially in the beginning. Was it a need for praise? Does anyone really need
praise? Yes, some people feel they do. People really need to stop being such praisejunkies. Im planning on expecting anything (insults and criticism and attacks). Im
expecting anything but praise. I think thats what my psychological problems been. I got
a lot of praise from teachers, friends, and parents when I was little (which is usually what
happened) and when they abandoned me, it was a scary time in my life, adolescence,
when I turned into a young adult, and people stopped praising me and started only
attacking and criticizing me. It was a rude awakening. But thats how aging is. The older
you get, the less acclaim and praise you get. The only people who get praise all the time
are celebrities and brands, and Im neither of those, therefore I get none.
So I got a portfolio critique from a Top Shelf Editor (digital), and I was very pleased
overall with the reaction I got.
The most useful quote from the email was this:
And keep drawing -- both standalone drawings and comics, as they are different (albeit
related) skills.

Im glad to hear that from someone else. I suspected such a thing, but now that Ive heard
it from an editors email comments, Im glad I can analyze and focus my attention on
catching up to speed with my comic book pages. When it comes to illustration and
sketching, Ive got a little experience, but in terms of my career as a comic book artist,
Im really only just getting started as of the last three or so years, and even within those
actual years, I havent draw all that many successful comic book pages. Only 2 to 4 or so
out of around a 100 bad pages. Time to even the odds. By working really hard on figuring
out how to draw comics better. He/she recommended a book to me too, which is meant
for people who both write and draw comics, like myself. I cant expect to produce a
perfect comic book page on any of my early attempts.
Steps to take towards completing more pages of comics (my own ideas, havent read the
book yet, written before future note):

Develop dialogue for dialogue scenes

Compose dialogue across panels as, exposition, narration, and dialogue
Cut and past old art into these panels as well, or develop thumbnails for new art
here

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Selling secrets revealed:
Always sell things to people that they already have. People are biologically inclined to
already buy and attain things they already have and own.

P a g e | 1014

Media Coverage Sources:

The Cards, Bumps

ANN
AWN
Toonzone
Funimation.com
Icv2.com
Amazon.com
Wikipedia
YouTube
Comics Alliance (which I just discovered todayIn the FUTURE!)

Even if I am compartmentalizing my production process for my comics, which I have

been, Im still going to need to unify it, and bring it all together at some point. Who cares
if Rima Jabbur says compartmentalize it? If all I do is compartmentalize, the Mono
project will stay divided, and will never be complete, unified, and whole. Im going to
need to bring it together. I took Rimas advice of compartmentalizing my art project, and
like everything else I emulate about my heroes and favorite things, I went overboard with
it. No more of that. I need to stick to the whole.

Im giving myself a total of 5 years, starting in 2011to put a real 20 page comic book
issue togetherby the age of 32 in 2016, if not do a lot more than just that, I wont catch
any real big breaks until at least 32 years of age, 5 years from now. All the young creators
in comics got big no earlier than their early 30s, so Im not counting on being an
exception to the rule. Im not counting on anything powerful or big happening to me until
Im more capable of handling it, which is to say in my early to mid 30s, at least 2 years
after 2012. Until then Im just going to keep scripting and illustrating sequential art.

The International Best @ What They Do

Animation: Japan, France, America, Korea

Comics: France, America, Japan, Canada
Live Action Film: America, Hong Kong
Choreography: Hong Kong
Production Design: France, Japan
Voice Acting: America, Japan
Computers: America, Japan

My evil twin, or Operation Hate Joseph Alberts, seems to have vanished, at least for now.
I woke up recently one day and suddenly all the bad imposters I want to beat up are gone.

P a g e | 1015

At least the public is starting to become aware of the whole imposter thing, making it a
considerably more evil crime to get away with. I guess my face has been saved after all.
Thanks Lord, you performed another miracle. Youre protecting my face. God loves my
face, therefore now that Ive asked for divine protection, the attempts dont seem as
influential anymore. Not that Ive noticed anymore, or at least I can go outside now,
which I have.
I am Joseph, my hair is fuzzy, my beard is scruffy, scruffy, scruffy!
My form in my art never stays consistent. Ive drawn Mono Jubei 400 to 500 times, and
each time he looks different. My form evolves over time. Every day brings new amazing
surprises on the page. There isnt any consistency to the actual form of my art, even when
the content is always the same. The look of my art morphs with the passing of time. So in
a way it never gets boring. Sometimes it turns out good, sometimes it sucks, but either
way its always fun to try. The look of my design style is always evolving. Some days I
draw like an animator. Some days I draw like a conceptual designer. Some days I draw
like a production designer. Some days I draw like an inker and penciller and comic book
artist. Some days I draw like a cartoonist. Hardly ever a day goes by when Im not feeling
some sort of shift or evolution in my form.
I definitely like having my own phone, and therefore phone #. Now people can actually
call me if they know my #.
Drawing to me is a form of gambling, because like gambling, the outcome is never
certain. You cant really cheat or predict your way to a good drawing in my style. It just
happens. It either happens or it doesnt.
As for my career and PR. If Im not truly participating, Im obviously not getting paid
either. If Im just watching YOU succeed, thats not going to reward me with anything.
Youve succeeded, but I have not.
There are two forms of strategy, logistics and tactics.

Contemplation of the esoteric

Practical Daily Application and Execution

You must have a technique and method, or tool,

and you must be proficient in its use.
My tool is a pencil and pen and paper, and computer.

P a g e | 1016

To-Buy List:

MP3-Player, For my art and drawing

Things that help create art:

Food
Drink
Music and Headphones
Research and Reference Material

Marketing Secrets: To thrive in business,

You must have a presence

You must be seen
You must be heard
You must be there in some form
People must see and talk about you

Visibility and presence is key in marketing and selling. No ones going to buy from you
if they dont know your works presence is there in front of them in some way.
Rule No. 1 of Marketing
If its not there being seen, heard, read, or talked about by people, no one will be able to
buy it. Presence is the only thing that guarantees at least some sales.
See you on TV. See you in the DVD behind-the-scenes Making Of Features. See you in
the trades, in Animation Magazine.
Marketing is Marketing, Self-Marketing is Self-Marketing. You can market positively
and market negatively, but you can not not market. You can even negatively market
positive marketing as propaganda. Its all still marketing though. In some way or
another. If youre there, youre marketing.
Yes, I am definitely an outsider to fans and professionals of the Japanese and American
animation and comic book industry. Im entering the arena as an underdog, an amateur, a
no-body, a commoner, a challenger, an outsider. Im perfectly okay with this. Im used to
getting a bad rap online and on TV. It doesnt hurt or disappoint me. Im just used to it.
Its old news. Aspiring writers dont see much good press OR glamour. I could also be
working harder than I am I suppose.

P a g e | 1017

Keeping personal data on the computer? That does beg the question: Why in the world
would I want to unconsciously aid the enemy who does nothing but plot against me and
do nothing but attempt to find ways to discredit, embarrass, and ruin me and my
reputation? Why help those people in the first place by making information so available
to them?
Seminole County: Where All Da Stuff Happens! Its true because its on the news.
LOL.

My health is not very good. Neither is my hygiene

Comics:
3 Areas I work the hardest in: Writing, Production Design, Fighting, Comics Pages
Weakest Areas, that will require the most yearly practice: Fighting, Comics Pages
There are different kinds of animation production designers.
My specialty is city design, and urban science fiction landscapes, and some rock
formations.
Next Generation French TV Animation: Franime
Totally Spies
Code Lyoko
W.I.T.C.H.
Oban Star-Racers
Basquash!
Martin Mystery
Team Galaxy
Skyland
Iron Man: Armored Adventures
Fantastic Four: (Franime version)
The Amazing Spiez
The Mysteries of Alfred Hedgehog
Franime-esque American Shows/Series:
Batman: The Animated Series
90s Kids WB
Teen Titans
Ben 10
The Boondocks
Avatar: The Last Airbender

P a g e | 1018

GI Joe Resolute
GI Joe Renegades
Generator Rex
Dead Space
JM Strebler: Job Description (Executive Producer)As the executive producer, or
showrunner, behind Parallax, End Times, and/or Mono Comics, all materials of the
productions (scripts, layouts, storyboards, model sheets, color schemes, animation tests,
animatics, post-production, clean-up, overseas production, voiceover recordings) come
across my desk for notations and approval. I approve all production artwork and scripts
that are produced for the production. Im also involved in each department of the ongoing
production. Assuming I can learn to drive and live independently one day, of course.
Difficult! Arrrgghhh!!!
Well, okay, I admit, Im not an actual executive producer yet, but I am an aspiring
producer, and I do make it my business to know exactly what I need to do as a producer,
should I ever end up in that kind of production position on an American animation
production.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

In the world of animation, abilitiesthe skill and ability to write, draw, and manage a
strategic media-entertainment-business operationare ones powers. Auteurs are people
whose filmmaking and stylistic abilities are superior to most.
Some people have more control over their art powers than others. My powers seem to
take on a life of their own. Im in the process of learning to control and harness my
drawing powers and abilities.
The 6 Laws of Power

Write, Write, and Write

Draw, Draw, and Draw

Action brings about power. Dont bother strategizing and manipulating and maneuvering,
when you can just act and bring about action. Its really not that hard to do when you
think about it in terms of the actual kinetics of that motion.
Never forget: If you want to become a master at an old age, always start from exactly
where you are. Dont make an excuse out of not having the right and proper
resources in the current moment. Always start from where you are. Use what you have
now, not what youll have in 5 years. If you have a number 2 pencil, use a number 2
pencil, if you have a Micron pen, use a micron pen. If you have a typical sketchbook, use
a typical sketchbook. If you have a clipboard and computer printer paper, use a clipboard

P a g e | 1019

and computer printer paper. Dont ever wait for conditions to be right or procrastinate
just so you can wait for circumstances to be in your favor when you start each time,
because that day will never really come. Its just an excuse to not do any work. Keep
starting, over and over again, each day, and finishing takes care of itself. Finishing is easy
once you take action. Once you start, or get started, and take action, finishing is
inevitable, especially in an incremental sense. When you start, if you always start youll
always finish what you started.

In the past people have asked me what Ive been trying to achieve in my comic book
style, cartoon-esque like Bone, and Calvin and Hobbes, or detailed and gritty, like Frank
Miller or Todd McFarlanes Spawn.
I think if cartoon-like is on one end of the spectrum, and detail is on the other, the Im
somewhere right around the middle, swaying slightly more toward the detail end of the
spectrum, where fabric is very wrinkled and the shading is geometric, and the
backgrounds are geometric and filled with perspective. So its a combination of Asian
and French comics in indie comic book format. Im creating my own look from scratch,
but I do use a lot of reference of course. But one thing comics and animation like
Franime, anime, Coreys layout work on ZIM, and Moebius all taught me was comics
and animation production design could still be detailed, layered, and complex without
actually being photo-like or realistic (aka dullsville).
(after reading much of Drawing with Words, Writing With Pictures)
Areas of Comics Making To Work on:
1 Page at a Time, whether its 1 page or 1,000 pages

Pencilling
Page Design
Narrative Arc
Thumbnails
Panel Design
World Building
Head and Hands
Inking

Characters Who Influenced the Look of Mono Jubei:

Manji
Spawn
Tetsuo
Seto Kaiba
Kamui
Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho)

P a g e | 1020

Kenshin Himura
Vash the Stampede
Amon (Witch Hunter Robin)
Shinomori Aoshi (Rurouni Kenshin)
Batman
Marv
Conan The Barbarian
Son Goku
Anakin Skywalker (Prequel Series)
Ivan Isaacs (Priest)
Motoko Kusanagi
Gendo Ikari
Trunks (DBZ)
Link
Cloud (Final Fantasy)
Johnny The Homicidal Maniac
Dib (Invader Zim)
John Blacksad (Franime Comics)

How to Write Comics

Novels and Short Stories
The Narrative Arc:

Inciting incident happens, creates conflict

Something ends up being thrown off in the protagonists life or thrown out of
whack
The event causes the protagonist to want something (a goal, justice, revenge,
destiny, gold, a mate, freedom, peace and quiet, or some other object of desire)
and to cause him to work to get it
Obstacles stand in the protagonists way, the protagonist must work to overcome
those obstacles.
At the end of the story, the protagonists goal is either achieved or lost. He wins
or loses.

My comic and TV shows writing will be considerably different. I dont plan for the TV
series to be a mere Xerox of the comic book, like you see with DBZ. Im thinking more
along the lines of Spawn, or (even if I do keep the adapted design intact), Akira. But
essentially, Im writing two separate series with the same title, same backdrop, and
mostly the same characters. But part of the fun of doing it over is getting to do things
differently. Keep everything on model as they say in the biz, but just make it different
from the original. Sure, give the writing and animation staff, cast, and crew more
freedom. Why not do that? Whats the harm?

P a g e | 1021

Drawing self-published and web comics isnt glamorous at all. There are a LOT of
untalented competitors out there, and no one wants to have sex with you, not that you
should bother looking for either of those things (sex or talented competitors). Most artists
dont draw sequential art pages. Most just draw in sketchbooks and edit individual
pictures and art pages, without sequential art, on a computer. Not the same thing. Not at
all.

Sunday, June 26, 2011,

New Art Techniques

Lightbox
No. 2 Pencil
Shadow-Light Molding
Foreground-Background Blur (Gaussian Blur)
Sequential Art
Thumbnails
Aspect Angle/Shot
White pen on Black Paper
Notan
Positive & Negative Space
Fractal Lines
Scanner Enlargement-Reduction
Multiple Colored Pencil Backgrounds
Perspective
Vanishing Point
Proportions
Drawing Grid
Drawing Board (wooden)
MP3 Player & Headphones (w/music for emotional context)
Drawing from Reference (photos, comics, magazines)
Drawing From Life, Posing Models
Acrylics
Silhouettes Inking Digital Image Pro (Microsoft)
Mindful Line Quality and Proportion Checking
Gesture Thumbnails
Script Layouts-Thumbnails
Eraser Pencil
Corey Sketchbook Page Archetype
Light, Tight, Delicate Pencilling (line quality, texture, draftsmanship quality)
Comic Book Page Sketchbook (only comics)
Costume Weight Hatching (straight (small) parallel lines on costume)
Fabric Wrinkles and Folds (Detail illusion trick)

P a g e | 1022

Xeroxing pictures/art by others on scanner, for tracing / cutting out / drawing over
The 1,000 Pg. Mono Rule. Draw any person/thing 1,000 times over to master it
Writing for Comics-Animation: Think how writing will work through and in art,
not just beside it.

Manga Pacing
Im making a lot of progress with my art, and especially my sequential art and manga
pages. My content isnt manga at all, but the form, the understructure, and the rhythm and
pacing all arevery much so. Ive got the manga pacing rhythm of my page layouts and
panel design down. Timing matters to me, so I tend to want to make the timing perfect
which I already havebefore I tackle the surface or penciling or inking of the artwork.
Im incredibly happy with the pacing of my comics. Its paced exactly like manga. It is
manga, if we were to measure it by pacing alone, which a lot of artists and writers dont,
unfortunately.
In my own opinion, Im very proud to say, as of this moment, in the early development
stages of my sequential art production, in my own mind at least, I already have the exact
same pacing and rhythm as a Japanese manga-ka, Osamu Tezukas pacing style being
one example, seeing as hes the Master and his work set the Archetype in motion. In
terms of manga pacing and timing, I already am an advanced level manga-ka. Not with
drafting and pencilling though. Technically those pages are still thumbnails. But I havent
scanned any of the pages Ive charted using Scott McClouds magnum opus,
Understanding Comicsyet. Not to worry though. Pacing matters a whole lot to me on a
personal level, and if I can get that part right, Im not too worried about filling in the form
with actual real detail, anatomy, fabric, and perspective as time goes on. The good news
is I have a manga / manga-ka pacing system set up in place, which I have built to suit my
own style.

Areas of comics and manga Ive gotten really, really good at:

Perspective and Production Design

Costume Design
Pacing

And my page rate of completion, which started sometime last year, isnt too bad either. In
roughly about 12 months or a years time, from July of last year (2010) and July of this
year (2011), Ive completed a total of 60 rough manga thumb pages with regular manga
pacing. Its rough, and the pencils arent tight or even clean, but it is privately binded into
a book with ugly artwork, and its a definite serious start, and a huge first step to being a
real life American OEL manga-ka, because Im getting the timing right. All Ive really
got to do is tell a story with pictures for however long, and produce this narrative on
clean, tightened artwork and paper with the manga pacing Ive been using. My comics

P a g e | 1023

system actually seems to be starting to work. Finally!! Im so very happy about all this. I
feel great, like Im on my way.
Recent Art Things Ive Learned
Pacing
Sketchbooking (Corey Style)
Multi-Coloring Pencil Backgrounds
Thumbnails Archive
Cleanup, Revisions
How to Write a Story Arc
Screenwriting
Vanishing Point (found in, Metropolis, Blade Runner, AKIRA, French comics)
The Physical Approach to Drawing
Using music to draw (Mp3 Player)
Enterprises Ive Started and Tried Recently:
Vanity Press Company
Media Company
YouTube Channel
Webcomics
Print-On-Demand Comics
All Anime TV Broadcasting Network
All Action TV Broadcasting Channel
2-DAnimation Studio
Multimedia Action-Adventure Franchise
Graphic Novel
Comic Book Issue(s)
Comic Book Page
Storyboards
Scripts
Short Film Television Half-Hour Pilot
Co-Production (International)

The main question you always ask yourself when you get involved in a big, huge project
like mine is: Are you up to the demands of living your own dream? There is a lot of
pressure and labor intensive strategic and tactical work involved.

P a g e | 1024

Landscape Painting
Colors Needed: Red, Yellow, White, Brown, Black, Orange, Crimson
Steps:

Study Reference Material

Draw From Reference
Draw Understructure of Landscape With Pencil Contour on Acrylic Canvas Paper
Set up Newspapers on Desk, Palette, Paints, Water Container
Mix Colors
Paint Gesture Acrylic Dominant Color Gesture
Blend Paint on Canvas
Fill In Details
Let Paint Dry
Spray Paint With Fixative in Garage on Newspapers

Making up dynamic fictional characters:

No matter how good my character is, always put him or her in some situation that
conflicts and interferes with his or her interests, happiness, and/or goals. This makes for
good storytelling.
For example, Character A is content doing this, but that happens, and now Character A
must find a way to resolve this problem.
Animation Goes to War
If you want to be the Quentin Tarantino or John Woo of animation, as some invariably
aspire to do, it is important to do some homework about combat, weapons warfare and
military strategy and science (if youre drawing or writing about war, of course), and of
course ballistics, how weapons and vehicles function. From an NT or Rational INTP
perspective, these subjects are becoming increasingly fascinating to me. My mother may
continually call it disgusting, and in a sense shes right, but as a writer, artist,
filmmaker, and designer of all things tough and guy, you have to look past the shock
value. The design of an actual aircraft carrier during World War III (fantasy) or World
War II is beautifully designed and masterfully built, in a technical and mechanical sense.
No wonder Katsuhiro Otomo likes drawing Aircraft Carriers so much. His look quite
beautiful. Even Spielberg is fascinated by war. Specifically WWII, and D-Day, from a
battlefront and Jewish Heritage perspective. I like that about him, he really gets his hands
dirty in terms of the research he must of conducted for Saving Private Ryan, one of my

P a g e | 1025

all time favorite films, which I still only own on VHS, not DVD, which means unless I
can find it on Netflix Instant, Im gonna have to shell out money for it.

Dialogue
Description
Narration
Storytelling
Past and Present
Characters
World
Objects
Setting
Feelings (of character)
Monologue

I recently purchased a Sony mp3 player. It stores 3 Gigabytes of songs and videos. Ive
pretty much filled mine up almost all the way already with hundreds of songs, and a
handful of videos, some of those videos being anime episodes, which I can watch on this
tiny little iPod-esque mp3 player. It has a shuffle-radio function, a video player function,
an FM radio function, and an album, artist, and varied category browsing function. God
do I love technology. This is a great way to kill boredom. I havent been this excited to
get a small handheld device since I discovered the Nintendo Game Boy and Tiger
Electronics handheld videogames as a child! I used to play all kinds of fun little Nintendo
games on my Game Boy when I was a kid, for days on end, walking around the house
with it, just completely addicted to playing Game Boy portable video games, drowning
out everything around me. Roku, Netflix, and YouTube aside, I can see myself really
digging these portable tech toys.

Currently Watching:
Portable Video Player: Digimon Data Squad (Jetix Dub)

I dont just want to write an epic saga for comics, television and maybe gaming and
movies. I want to one day produce real literature. Essays, poetry, short stories, and
novels. Most people dont count screenwriting as literature, but I suppose I might as well.
There are two main ways for writing to be considered literate: Density, and depth.
Prolificacy and profundity.
Money or fame is not the reason one writes real literature. It has much more to do with
passion for creating true literary art, and a desire to craft masterfully written prose.

P a g e | 1026

P a g e | 1027

Chapter 40

P a g e | 1028

Wednesday, June 29th, 2011,

Books Im reading at the moment:
The Sum of All Fears by Tom Clancy
Enders Game by Orson Scott Card
Nemesis by Isaac Asimov
Shakespeare
New-Earth
Im very eager to get around to developing the reality of the world of New-Earth. How is the average
human of New-Earth different than the typical human of the Pre-End Times Era, or the world real people
inhabited? This is one question Wikipedia cannot answer. How is New-Earth structured and set up?
Questions like these are worth missing hours of television a day for. Its fun to just go into the world I
created a long time ago, and just get in there and carve its statue, and just build it, like one huge, very
enormous, gigantic mosaic.
The government of New-Earth has a similar hierarchical structure to that of this earth, leaving room for
much political intrigue and drama to take place at the highest level of authority, if its called for in the
narrative, which it probably will be at some point. All countries have established governments and
ecological and economic systems, some more advanced than others, and the map of New-Earth includes
various continents, countries, nations, and oceans. I have yet to design the map of New Earth in my
sketchbook, but I will. But this isnt about me. This is about New-Earth and the laying of its conceptual
groundwork and development. Theres a government file on and emergence of, and a lot of intelligence
built up around attaining any and all information about the apprehension and execution of the man who
goes by the name Nosferatu, documenting his known whereabouts and career as a terrorist mastermind and
Satanic cult leader and the Potential Antichrist, residing somewhere in a region that resembles Russia and
Europe during the Cold War. Nosferatu has gone to great length to conceal his current location and
planning activities from the authorities. But what do we really know of Ancient and Modern Chronis as a
geographical and physical territory and as a cultural backdrop? It remains a mystery.
The territories of New-Earth do not have the same names as the countries and continents of the Earth we
live in, in reality.
There are the Nuclear Winters, and meteorites, which often do not hit New-Earth, but endanger it
nonetheless. But how exactly did Earth 1 get destroyed during the End Times War and rebuilt into the
New-Earth territories to begin with? How did the Military of the Western Hemisphere of New-Earth
develop and get built. Who survived from the original First War? The New-Earth Governments are but a
mere reformative manifestation of the Earth 1 Governments
Im going to need to devise some new territory names for this new world.
There are fighter jets, military aircraft carriers, firearms, and tanks of all sorts in New-Earth. There are also
schools, offices, stores, beauty parlors, and churches. People did a good job rebuilding the earth after half
of it, many nations and 4 billion people, were both destroyed.
When Earth 1 was partially destroyed, there were countless injuries, mutilations, and death, and legal and
health nightmares, and the government was reeling, and nearly everyone was affected by the End Times
War, but in the beginning, the common citizens were much more resilient than the government, the news,
and the media gave them credit for. The main builders of the groundwork of the civilization of New-Earth,
over the course of a century or two in 3200, came to be known as the Builders of the Future, and are
viewed as selfless and generous heroes (The Builders) to the history books of the current generation of
New-Earth dwellers.

P a g e | 1029

OK, Ive written a bit about the wars and history of the evolution and development of New-Earth. Ive still
got a lot left to write about politics and the military though, especially since Im the one making this stuff
up. I also need to write about fighting and firearms, or ballistics. Very metal.

Thursday, June 30, 2011,

My reading habits are beginning to shift a bit. Instead of reading only what Ive written in
my journaland texts featured on pages on the internetI find myself constantly
reading books. Books, unlike internet writing, actually have editors behind them, so its a
much more structured, friendly form of writing in certain ways.

The nature of manga has changed in the last decade. Manga used to mean Japanese
comic. Now it just means Comics by girl creators who want their own automatic anime
series but have no clue how.

Im having second thoughts about being overtly ambitious:

I kind of like being a drifter.
Nothing to do
No one to see
Nowhere to go
Nowhere to be
I have no appointments. I have no TV shows to watch. All I really like to do is sit around
the house all day. Thats not a crime, is it?
Watching Roku streaming media player with Netflix, and listening to my MP3 walkman,
and reading novels all day and night. What can I say? I like doing nothing. Feels pretty
darn good. It helps pass the time, especially in the daytime.
I think its pathetic how some famous comic book creators have all these accolades and
success, and they take all of what this world has given them for granted. Its disgusting
and pathetic to not appreciate your own success. If I had that kind of success they had, Id
never take it for granted. But I dont, so oh well. If you dont appreciate your own
success, and the fact that you dont even have to really work at all to do something as
hard as pay your bills, youre fucking pathetic. I hate people like that. People who have
an easy life, money, fame, power, accolades, people talking about them, get everything
handed to them, and they still dont get it. Fuck them. They get all this, and yet they Still
Dont work hard. It fucking sickens me. Maybe its jealousy or envy, Im not sure. But all
I know is I really, really dislike people who have all of the success in the world handed to
them, then proceed to act spoiled and rotten, like a brat or something, when we all know
theyre a full grown ass adult.

P a g e | 1030

I hate to tell you this kid, but anime charactersare just another brand of cartoon
characters. Theyre not real. Some fans treat anime characters like theyre real or
something, fall in love with them talk about them like theyre frigging real. Theyre a
DRAWING! They dont exist in real life other than in books and cartoon shows.

Fight Daydreaming:
Head butts and kneeing aside, The only real striking moves one has in fighting styles and
choreography are kicks and punches (Forward, backwards, upwards, sideways, and
lower, depending on the flexibility of the fighter). Just endless varieties, combinations,
and camera shots and angles of: kicks and punches. Other than that, there are
blocks, leg sweeps, throws, grabs, and judo flips. And each of these poses, forms,
and combinations can be designed, storyboarded, and animated a different way, in terms
of each drawing.
My study of fighting on paper, in comics and animation storyboards, is one of realism.
The anatomy of my characters needs to be realistic and lifelike enough to convey real, or,
at the very least, realistic, fighting moves and combinations. Studying real fighting and
channeling it into the fighting I draw of my characters on the page and screen and in my
sketchbooks initially, in a way, shares certain physical approaches in common with
Method Acting. Its the physical approach to fantasy fighting, just like the physical
approach to Method Acting. Theres plenty to be written about fighting, both in academic
books and TV and film scripts, in terms of scene and action description. In a way its like
writing a novel. You have to be able to imagine, conceive, design, construct, stage, and
lay out a fight scene between two or more opponents, from scratch, (with reference or
without) in your head, and then in comic book and storyboard panels on paper, for
animators to animate, and directors and producers to direct and produce.
Damn. Look out Yoshiyuki Tomino and Akira Toriyama. I actually am getting pretty
good at this action writing writer stuff!
Honestly? I love how many French animation directors of anime-esque animation admit
in interviews how inspired by are by things like American indie art pictures and see
that as having the most amount of things in common with modern CGI and 2-D franime
in particular. Artists like me and Jhonen Vasquez and Dave Sim. People like us. My art
has been inspiring the French directors, animators, and producers. But it all starts with
artists like Jhonen (the original example) and me taking heavy interest in things like
science-fantasy (science fiction fantasy) and Moebius. Moebiuss architectural designs
and city landscape and production designs remain incredibly relevant, even 30 to 40 years
after they were drawn.
Moebius truly helped me start my journey through comics and animation or anime and
manga. My path to success is less clear cut than it used to be, or at least, my outlook
towards it has shifted. Now its more like a mosaic than anything else. I just keep on
adding details and filling the form over time, until a product eventually builds up and I

P a g e | 1031

can at some point find a cut off point. I love the fact that my artwork now has national
and international influence on and credibility with other famous artists it never used to
have before, all thanks to the internet.
I remember until Batman and Spawn got adapted into animation using all kind of deep
black canvases and geometric silhouettes and shadows to abstract the action, animation in
the United States, and JapanGhost in the Shell and Akira asidewas very bright and
colorful. It almost always took place during the day, and there were no creatures and
demons of the shadows for the cool heroic hero to do battle with, wearing his cape or
touting a gun. In Japan Akira and Ghost changed all that. And in America it was changed
by stuff like Batman and Spawn, and later Star Wars: The Clone Wars. These progressive
shows paved the way for a lot of things in animation that followed. High key lighting is
still used in everything Disney does that isnt Tim Burton, M. Night Shyamalan, or
Miramax. But were seeing a lot more low-key lighting in animation than we used to be
able to. Detail and low key lighting tend to go well together. Also, artistic control nearly
always will equal higher production values. Artists know what looks good. Thats why
French animation looks so much better than American television animation half the time:
The directors, artists, and artistic staff have a lot more creative control (in France), and
work on budgets less than 1/3rd the size of an American animated Feature Film Budget,
and not even 1/10th the size of a Pixar budget.
So with France in comics and animation its:

Lower budgets
Harder work
More creative control on the part of the creative staff.

This is the magic formula, or at least part of it.

I have a lot computer files of art and writing, a lot of scripts and conceptual artwork, and
a lot of notes and production design drawings and panel thumbnails. But thus far I dont
have a job title weighing me down and taking up my time. That will probably change one
day, but for now Im pretty busy creatively even without a full time job. Currently,
drawing comics and animation pre-production artwork and writing is my part-time
hobby. I operate under the assumption my work might get turned into something some
day, years from now. In the mean time I keep developing my mosaic and exploring my
world until it, my vision, is ready to become tangible. Or until I work on it enough to
transform it into something tangible and manifest it.

The basic structure of my series is set up:

Youve got the Shadow Operative HQ Architectural design, the place where the
majority of the dialogue scenes happen

Youve got a couple drawings of the vast city SO7HQ is located in.

P a g e | 1032

Youve got dozens upon dozens of designs and sketches of Mono Jubei the
protagonist, enough to use as model sheets for storyboards and comic book pages.

Youve got a paneled establishment of the overall series timing and pacing told
through thumbnails and storyboard-comics panels, for easy reference.

Youve got an intensely elaborate description of the series world and its history
and what kind of events led up to whats happening in the narrative when were
introduced to it at whatever the beginning is going to be

And youve got some great pages of script and various scene descriptions from
random episodes, books, and chapters, featuring elaborate fight scene
descriptions.

Youve got all the elements in place: Location, characters, atmosphere, timing, pacing,
lighting, and script or screenwriting literary notations. Its great coming into the fray
prepared.
Paycheck
Book in bookstores, on shelves
Show airing on TV
DVD feature
Trade magazine articles
Interview
Signing at a store or convention

Animation: Pre-Production Niche Specialty Areas

Script (Writing)
Art Direction (Production Design)
Storyboard (Comics Page)

Main subject matter / content:

Art Direction (cities)

Script (fighting, dialogue)
Storyboard (dialogue, beats, fighting)

P a g e | 1033

Ive done a sufficient amount of artwork and writing in terms of storyboards, production
design, and script. These 3 areas Im developing a considerable amount of efficiency and
skill in. Now Im just going to keep working on these 3 areas of skill.
Technically I am a part time scientist. Maybe I just wasnt cut out for art. As a scientist,
Ive found I stick out like a soar thumb in the art and entertainment world. Fame and
glamorous jobs are not my thing. As a man of science, its only right that I stick with
science. Not art and media entertainment.
Parallax is failed and funny, in that it represents and actually real American scientist
tryingand of course failingto launch his own animated series. What a crazy idea,
right? Yeah, how stupid of me for me actually trying to achieve such a thingsilly
dreamer.
I wonder what makes the entire worlds population feel entitled to abuse me and take a
shit in my mouth. I might never know the reason for this.
As for mistreatment or abuse, Ive never felt the need to ask for help in this area. I dont
need help. I tried asking for help once, and no one responded. Nobody cared. It was from
that moment on I vowed never to ask for help, from anyone, ever again.

Ill admit, Im no stranger to taboo and controversy. Some people love and follow me,
and others loath and hate me. The market probably wouldnt be as healthy if peoples
attitudes werent divided like that. Just ask Adult Swim! Their healthiest time was in
2003, a time when their viewership was highly polarized and divisive. I evoke strong
primal feelings in people, sometimes visceral, and sometimes magnetic.

Things and people that are depending on me to make things okay:

The things that are based on me

The Internet
YouTube
Technology
Online Broadcasting
The Careers of my Colleagues
My Laptop and Video Collection
Anime
Manga
OEL Manga
Indie Comics

P a g e | 1034

Publishing
Media
TV
Parallax
My Family
My Parents
Adult Swim Anime
Lindsey
Twitter
Friday Nights on Cartoon Network
Netflix / Roku
Manifesto
Japan
Webcomics Nation
America
Florida
Hollywood
Funimation

Paranoia: Things I Fear the Most:

Heart Attack
My Death
The Death of My Parents
Poverty followed by Homelessness
Obesity
Unemployment for Life

How am I ever going to get started on my career? I cant even get myself out of poverty,
let alone land my dream career. Childhood and adolescent poverty, and having my
parents pay for everything, has led to adult poverty where my parents still pay for
everything, and so does Health Care.
Since perception is everything in entertainment, Im actually quite glad I have The
Look of a Write-Producer, or film visionary an auteur. I look in the mirror, I see an
international auteur, fuzzy hair and all.
Though I am an adopted Multiracial Eurasian-American and live in Florida, Im still
quite the writer.

Star, Celebrity, Superstar, Rock Star. I am all of these things.

P a g e | 1035

Star Wars: The Clone Wars now has me beat, at least in terms of background details. The
Star Wars Clone Wars Prequel Saga has tons of architectural layering. It may all be CGI,
which it is, but aesthetically, in this instance it matches the quality of hand drawn films
like Akira, Ghost in the Shell, Oban, and ZIM. Clone Wars matches all of these, which
surprised me.
Im always competing (not maliciously, but creatively), with those at the top of the
world. Im always keeping an eye out to see if Im behind, matching, or past the best
production designers, screenwriters, comic book artists, and costume designers out there.
I want to match or surpass the best, as I do love a good challenge.
One area I need to work on: Revising, revisions, editing, and redrawing or cleaning up
both old and new drawings.
Whatever happened to calling a spade a spade? If a show is bad, is it really that hard to
reach a unanimous decision nowadays? Or has society gotten to childish and stupid (like
my parents) to see bad as bad?

Tuesday, July 05, 2011,

The Script
The Novel
The Script-Novel
Dialogue
Action, Scene, Beat, and Narration

The TV rating Im hoping for is TV-MA, (w/ V & L for Violence and Language). I
actually do want to write animation scripts that are too violent for childrens
programming, and only suitable for late at night on Saturdays or Weekdays, probably
once a week at the start. In this sense, other than The Series not being a comedy, it does
have some maturity issues in common with Aqua Teen Hunger Force and The
Boondocks. And GI Joe Resolute, a lesser known gem. My scripts have a lot of shootout
scenes, a lot of martial arts movements, a lot of Wartime and Science Fiction Fantasy
backdrop. And a lot of blood spilt. Is it sick and twisted animation? Yeah, if you dont
like violent entertainment and cant handle shows like Superjail. Which is probably the
minority of young adult viewers. Young adult viewers tend to get a kick out of violent
action movies like Kill Bill and anime. It would definitely sell to young adults and late
adolescents who like their animation more violent and dramatic and less cute and
colorful.

P a g e | 1036

Top picks for bosses / producers:

Todd McFarlane
George Lucas
People Id like to work on a project with, but would probably never be able to:
Katsuhiro Otomo
Jhonen Vasquez

You can generally only make kids entertainment outside of Harry Potter and Invader ZIM
so dark without generally wanting to kill yourself over the whole network censorship
and Standards and Practices ordeal. I can just picture that element driving many
creators, or perhaps just Jhonen, up a wall. For all I know it could be either one of those
situations. All I do is writing. I dont claim to know how the animation, or even general
entertainment industry, works. My experience lies on the page. Almost all my
experiencelessons with Phil and time spent at art school asidelies on the page or on
the computer screen or TV Screen. The truth about anime and animation is this: All you
really have to know how to do is your part. Not everybody elses. Be good at what you
know how to do, not what you only think you need to know how to do.
I have a new career goal:
My goal is to become the strongest, most powerful action movie screenwriter in the
world, who just happens to write mature TV animation for a living.
But first I must set what I call a tangible goal: Writing 50 to 100 pages of narration. A
50-100 page long novel of nothing but fighting and action storytelling narration. I need to
prove myself as a writer. And Im going to need to write most of it on my laptop, for
safety and competitive reasons.
Forms of Narrative Manifestation:
Description, Action, Dialogue, Interior Monologue, & Interior Emotion

Every great TV series has at least 1 awe inspiring element: With Gundam its giant
robots, with Megas XLR its giant robots. With mine, its production design, lighting, and
action.

Writing Self-Assignments:
Narrate the Last week or half-year in first-third person narrative short meta-fiction form.
Inspired from Journal entries.

P a g e | 1037

Fiction Story:
Chuck Guts and Case of the Mysterious Disappearances:
In a quiet and spacious, forested Georgia suburb, deep in the Southeast, local residents
keep mysteriously disappearing. They disappear all around the same spot where once
they vanish, no one ever hears from them again. This is a pretty close community, so it
comes as a shock to residents living in the area. The police are having trouble finding
suspects, and the families generally have no clue. Can anyone solve the case of these
mysterious disappearances. No bodies can be found anywhere. The whole case has
investigators baffled. Residents living in the area are scared, and some of them pack up
their bags and move out of the neighborhood altogether, terrified for their lives.
What happens next?

Writing About Fighting

Or as some call it, writing a fight scene or fight design. Or Action, or ballistics, or
military, or martial arts. Action and Drama go together like peanut butter and chocolate.
A lot of artists in Japan and America like to talk about and draw fighting. But seriously,
how often do fiction writers or screenwriters write about itwith literary merit or
credibility. If its just hitmen or drug dealers running around shooting, getting shot at and
screaming their heads off for the camera, without even actually using any pre-production
scripting, thats not really creative or artistic at all. It lacks artistry, and is a huge genrebased clich. Theres a difference between clumsy, slow, American action, and graceful
aesthetic Far East-esque aestheticization and masterful choreography of action and
violence. Im obviously a big fan and author of the latter.
JM Animation Studios in Korea aside, there really isnt any adult martial arts animation
made specifically for the U.S. market. I want to be the one to change that.
I have a sense of humor. And a very good one at that. But what I set out to compose on
the page is not humor. Nor comedy. What I produce on the page, in outlines, premises,
and scripts, is Greek Shakespearean Tragedy. Great actors must study and know both
Comedy and Tragedy equally well to incorporate into their range of emotions they can
draw upon, on both ends of the spectrum. To master one, drama and action or comedy
and humor, you must at the very least know both by heart, and you must know them
when you see them.
The Spectrum Works Like This
Comedy/Humor/Satire

<>

Drama/Tragedy

P a g e | 1038

Typical Animation Writing Style

My Style

This means

A broader scope of world building and narrative context

A longer narrative
No real jokes or slapstick comedy
Anthro

If youre on my writing team, you wont be writing any of the things Ive left out.
Formalist cinema of both Hollywood and International varieties show a blatant mastery
of the dramatic and formalist.

When it comes to my artwork online, who should I listen to? 3 established industry
veteran artists and actors who have already worked on numerous, and in some cases
many) projects, or some little 13 year old online fanboy kid with no credentials (let alone
an objective viewpoint)? Fuck that shit. Im listening to the people with experience who
actually get work, and they all approve of how I draw. Why even listen to hateful teens
online? Im glad those kids dont fool me into taking them seriously anymore. Fuck em.
What makes some amateur kids wannabe anime art better than my drawings. Nothing
according to real professionals. Thats my motto from now on. Who gives a shit what
the kids think?? Seriously, what have they dont themselves lately thats so much better
than what I do, other than write hateful belittling rants on some message board
somewhere. That doesnt exactly help their case. Especially when they have no tangible
credibility to back such an arrogant asshole attitude up. Im better than them. They really
dont have anything to their name in reality. At least people see what I do. That does not
apply to them. I make a habit out of not listening to any artist who isnt older than I am,
or at the very least around my age. Anyone a lot younger than that isnt reliable. They
dont know who they are, what they really want, or even what theyre talking about.
I dont really have any real power level at DeviantART, unsurprisingly. I have some
power at the Adult Swim Message Boards, but only a bit. Same with my tweets.
But I do have a ton of power on Google search. And I have tons and TONS of power at
YouTube. I have so much power at YouTube I dont know what to do with it all. I built a
lot of that online power, that I do have, myself.

If THORES, a top Japanese character-costume anime and video game designer in Japan,
doesnt have a problem adapting Mono Jubei 22,000 times on page and on screen, then
neither do nor should I. Even my simple artwork has been good enough for designers like
THORES. If its good enough for a master designer to adapt, which it is, then its worth
enough for me to draw it myself as well, and not just sit back and rely on other artists to

P a g e | 1039

do all the great drawings of Monomany of which they already have drawn. I put most
faith in artists who put the most faith in me.
Im not really actually retiring, like I said in the press release in my blog. I just said that
to get peoples attention off of the old pen and pencil for a while so I can take some of the
pressure to perform off. Awfully early to actually really retire (at 27/28), isnt it?
Quite Frankly, Im hesitating in terms of whether or not to just jump into the real deal
publishing industry and make my presence known. Its sopublic! Plus, publishing
doesnt just create good stuff. It can also createcomplications, and a whole new set of
problems and benefits to deal with: Demanding schedules and deadlines, public
appearances (if applicable), demanding fans, real fame, other media (if applicable),
economics, hangers-on. It would be like art school all over again, one of the most
stressful times I had growing up. Art school was stressful, and I didnt even attend one
that was prestigious like CalArts, or any famous school for that matter. I had some school
catalogues from the School of Visual Arts, Ringling School of Art and Design, Joe
Kubert School of Cartooning, and California Institute of the Arts, but in the end I decided
against attending the famous schools and instead attended The Art Institute of Ft.
Lauderdale, before I dropped out due to mysterious medical and psychological reasons
that the other students attending at the time had no clue about
Heh heh. Lookit them all. Gitty with excitement. I would be too if I just found out I
wasnt really down and out just yet. But Im me, so I knew that all along.
Im exhausted. Been cleaning my room/studio/office all day today! Tossing out unused
stuff, putting away stuff I havent used in a while, finding old papers
I see not many people are creating good NEW comics and animation, while manga and
anime is still taking the lead. I guess thats where I get involved.
I do like having respect. But I have none of it. No one really respects me anymore, if they
ever did to begin with. But not that many people respect me to begin with so I guess its
not that big of a deal. I never get any respect from anyone, including my family and the
media/web. Lets just say Ive become accustomed to others NOT respecting me. My
reputation doesnt command it. And neither does my disheveled eccentric look.

Friday, July 08, 2011,

Only those who do the work, persevere, and dont give up are the ones who succeed.
Talent and skill at detail or drawing wont save youre art career all by themselves. You
need patience, humility, and fortitude.
No matter how much or how many time Japanese and Chinese or Hong Kong
screenwriters write fight choreography into their scripts, I just know the American style

P a g e | 1040

of portraying fighting on screen will be written differently. The word arrangement and
writing style(s) will be separate and different.
Its hard to effectively compete in an open market when you dont have any outlet of
distribution other than YouTube, Webcomics Nation, and Lulu Publishing, Lulu being
the only one that charges money for an actual product.

Im finding a whole shitload of inspiration in my time capsule comic book collection

Ive had saved up since around middle school or so, composed of at least 300400
comic book issues Ive collected and saved up over the years. All the weird ones my
old friend Johnny said at one point. All the cool stuff Phil Ferretti said at a later point.
This huge collection of old school comic books from the 90s and the first decade of the
2000s, makes for some amazing retail and reference material. Well, that and it has a lot of
hot half naked bitches all up in there. Always a plus. So the copious stacks of hot
mostly-American female fanservice element and reference material element are always a
plus. There are still tons of cartooning and comic book design styles a hell of a lot less
detailed than mine. Im starting to think Im not exactly hated for my detail level. My
detail level is actually quite impressive compared to half of whats out there. In other
words, my style could be a lot more stylized, cartoony, simple, and iconic than mine has
been.
Wow. Jhonen Vasquezs family seems sonormal. Nothing like his public persona.
Much like another creator I know all too well. Myself. Still, its nice to know people like
Brian Michael Bendis, Todd McFarlane, Frank Miller, Paul Pope, and Jhonen Vasquez
all survived the first decade of the 2000s intact, and actually are still all actively
producing artwork. They were some of my earliest writing and art inspirations. I own
tons of their comics. They do amazing work. I own tons of Spawn and Ultimate SpiderMan.

Upon looking through my quasi-classic comic book collection and all the series Ive
boughtI think its time to buy some trade paperbacks anywayIve forgotten just how
good Ive gotten. Im like right between Oni/SLG and Marvel/Vintage Image/DC.
Well, met my quota for the day, far as premise creation and fiction building and writing is
concerned. I thought up a new villain today, and hes one of my most evil villains yet.
Hes a bit different in context than Nosferatu, who in a way is kind of like Darth Vader.
But not all villains in the world of End Times are nasty thugs and henchmen employed by
Nosfor. Some are just plain twisted, and exist in their own little worlds. Im starting to
address some things in my writing I havent addressed before. Like the Communications
and Media era, and how it relates to the dark side of mysticism and morality. But not in
some fucked up cheeseball Hollywood way like Untraceable or something like that.
Similar, but Untraceable was stupid people trying to cash in on an internet expose. My
storyline isnt really me trying to sell people or cash in on anything. Its just I have a
story to tell and it happens to involved look alike doppelgangers and sadism, and the

P a g e | 1041

sadistic mastermind who controls those sadistic look alikes, who are made into something
as twisted as the Dark Arts shaman-tech-guru himself.
Wow. I just realized it. Im a Beast. Ive got mad destructive powers. Like Tetsuo from
Akira or something. Yeah Ive got a lot of power, and I can dominate almost any
situation, but at what cost. My parents dont make me take pills just for the hell of it.
Taking pills is the only way my parents know how to subdue my very destructive powers.
They not all destructive, but they are very influential and can possibly cause a lot of
chaos, discord, suffering, and volatility. Not because thats what I desire or want to
manifest and createI can also manifest creative, imaginative, and powerful works of
epic and dynamic, archetypal art (an oddly satisfying benefit), but when my powers are
unleashed, either I snap or the people around me do. Its almost like being psychokinetic
with emotions or something. The only way my parents know how to control my powers
when Im acting destructive or dangerous every so often, or at the very least psychotic
and antisocialis by either sedating me with sleeper pills so I cant strategize my career
at night and go driving and things. That or just lock me in a jail like mental facility for
punishment for being a God, Sage, and Divine Genius International Freak. My skills
exist on the epic and long winded and obsessive compulsive side. Even now, I dont
know if Ill ever be able to read everything Ive ever written. Ive written thousands and
thousands of pages, Dave Sim and Osamu Tezuka style, like Im writing scripture or
something, and thats all part of the territory of my power. That and the internet and
anime, and comics. Probably some other areas I dominate too. But those are the ones I
remember right away. Damn Im powerful. But its such an extreme power I dont know
how to handle it or make it safe and sterile, let alone contain it. When Im most powerful
is when my mania is working overtime. Im manic-depressive, which I guess is a medical
condition, but it also is a potent and powerful artistic and creative fuel. I consume a lot of
caffeine and it often makes me manic.

As far as independent comic book creators who have reached the top of the creatorowned publishing heap in the United States specifically, Id say Todd McFarlane, Jhonen
Vasquez, and Dave Sim are way up there in terms of influence, power, and productivity,
perhaps the very top of the hierarchy, if were talking comics media specifically.
Jhonen while being newer than McFarlane or Sim, is the most successful comic book
creator turned TV animation creator of the last 25 years. Invader Zim, his show, lasted
longer on the air than Todds, Spawn by many years, in terms of actual amounts of
airtime.
Todd McFarlane works the hardest on his actual comic book pages. Hes a master builder
of both dark horror shock and superheroes, and has mastered the hardest elements to
draw: Cloth, anatomy, etc. For pure virtuosity & Ingenuity, his pages have inspired many.
Dave Sim, over the course of his 30+ year career, starting around the 60s or 70s created
the comic book series with the oldest and longest print run (not to mention literary and
sequential art narrative) ever for an independent comic book just about. Even going so far

P a g e | 1042

as to come close to rivaling the epic scale of Katsuhiro Otomo and Osamu Tezukas
works. Quite Wagnerian. And quite epic.
These three creators are incredibly powerful in the modern comic book medium.

Reached a new stage in life. I now have my own cell phone, along with my own cell
phone number.
I have my own phone number now [407-312-7996]
So now, Ive got:

A debit card
A cell phone
An mp3 player
A YouTube account
A Twitter account

Monday, July 11, 2011,

Monday Weekly Horoscope: The simple fact that you have a vision for the future, and that
you're able to talk about it in a way that makes other people look forward to it, sets you apart on
Monday. An intensity surrounds you. Your gait turns heads. Tuesday and Wednesday, you're
pinching yourself -- not because you're sitting on a pile of gold coins, but because
everything you could want for your life seems possible. The work ahead of you hardly
seems like work at all. Thursday and Friday, you are more determined than ever. Powerful
people are joining your team. This is the start of something big.

Received 2 books today:

The Godfather by Mario Puzo

Do The Work! By Steven Pressfield

Also, I found out about a new trenchcoat comic: EPOCH by Top Cow: Coming soon! Ill
check it out, probably buy it definitely. The art looks memorable.
Unfortunately, this journal of mine, manifesto, is slowing me down. Its making me fat.
Too much research and prep work, and preperation, and pre-meditation slows us down,
fattens us, and subtracts from doing the work. Im going to put a stop to this.
What is End Times about? End Times is about Fighting, Warriors and Vanquishing Evil
in the Name of Good.
By now, there is quite the energy field amassing around me and my comic book series
and character. Ive put in enough hours of work that by now its like they have their own

P a g e | 1043

gravitational pull, like something right out of Jhonen Vasquez or Akira, or Cerebus. Im
on my way. Most definitely. The world of New-Earth has an energy field, as do my
production design drawings and costume designs. To say nothing of my contributions to
the internet and YouTube. My choreographic fight design and fiction writing system Im
setting up also have their own energy fields and gravitational pull. That always happens
when you do a lot of work related to your various projects. Its happening to me big time.
I havent really integrated the fight scene and martial arts fighting element. I have
script premises, and outlines of fight seqeunces and fight thumbnails and sketches.
Ive got all the elements of successful manifesting my fighting sequences visually,
but Im going to need to start adding stories to my fights, and build up a knack for
that, otherwise it will always just be obligatory action, obligatory fight sequences.
Disposable, not completely integrated into the story. Ive got to find a way to
integrate my fight designs with my story arcs, episode premises, and the overall plot,
other than by just using thugs to mess shit up. That would feel a bit mindless, to just
have all this chaos without there being a reason for it, like what DBZ is borderline
guilty of (lacking story). Up till this point, Ive just included that element because it
feels and looks super cool, not because it matches the story or has been successfully
integrated into the plot (ala Matrix, and Kill Bill and Afro Samurai and Genndy
Tartakovsky or Min Woo Hung), because its not completely integrated into the
story yet, even if I do have a lot of thumbnails of it. I need to start thinking like an
author of action stories, not just a visual fight choreographer and stylist. There
needs to be the character and story perspective there. There needs to be the
motivation and the reason to fight, not just the ability to execute it (a fight or moves
or fight sequence).

Success Moments:
JYB
Steve Blum
AnimeTV
WCN
JM Strebler
End Times @ local shops
Trenner
Nick Weidenfeld
Scolex IM
John Lasseter
AiFL
Phil Lessons
Rima Lessons
Manifesto being published
Lulu publishing

P a g e | 1044

Shinji Kasai
The moment when we succeed the most is also the time we are most likely to fail or be
humiliated.
Writing, the writing process, is all about non-linear productivity and filling in The gaps
between the gaps. Cant think of a story from beginning to middle to end? Just write the
ending first, then the beginning, then the middle, all as a premise, thumbnails are
optional. You dont just write one episode with the ending being written first. You can
write entire series from beginning to end this wayor as I might say, end to beginning.

One of the biggest differentiators and separators of the social element of TV animation /
Live Action Filmmaking, and Comics / Books is this:

Animation and filmmaking always involves a team, and some form of teamwork.
Traditional publishing doesnt involve working on a team.

Comics and novels, at least in terms of novels, manga, and indie comics, in general is a
solitary venture. You do everything yourself and never have the pleasure of working with
a team, unless one of youre works gets adapted and you assist in adapting your style or
work yourself.
To work in comics, screenwriting, and fiction writing, truth be told, youre not required
to work on a team. Nor are you required to be a team player. Only when your work gets
received by the public do you ever even sort of have to work well with others. When your
working in print publishing, its very common to be alone at all times, doing everything
yourself, in your own house. Thats part of what makes the work satisfying is you can
work at your own pace.
All of the work Im doing, that Ive BEEN doing, is solo work. I work solo, in isolation,
at home, out of the home, as a one man army and team, individually. You get the idea.

Elements of my comics style:

Heroes
Villains
The Apocalypse
Guns
Fighting
Fabric
Fantasy
Drama
Intrigue
Action

P a g e | 1045

Violence
God Stuff
Espionage
Ballistics
Martial Arts
War
Military Strategy
The occult
Goth
Science Fiction
New Lessons Learned:

Dividing Line (Storyboard Panel Composition)

Three Act Structure (Art, Scriptwriting, Novels, Comics)
When Writing a Script/Novel, Start at the End, then write the Beginning &
Middle
Research Becomes Resistance
Drawing Cape/Cotail Flairs and Triangular shapes
Vanishing Point (Perspective)
Converging Line (Perspective)
Filled Up Sketchbook Page (How to Draw The Corey Way)
Tracing Paper, Cleanup Art
Colored Erasable Pencil (Layering, Detailing, Foreground/Background)
Inertia (Energy Momentum, Snowball, Force)
New Lessons Learned:

Continual Starting (and the finishing takes care of itself)

Fighter I.Q.
One Pose Per Panel (Queen and Country)
Fight Psychology
The Repetition of Discipline (Repeating a Practice Activity Daily, to Get Better at
it)
Outline / Premise Writing
Resistance
Energy Field
Shipping
The Big Crash
T-Square Ruler (How to Use one)
MP3 Headphones, to pass the time and get emotional energy when drawing,
Pencil Movement
Penciling Lightly, by buying lightweight pencils

P a g e | 1046

It would appear I know how to draw a decent character composition on paper now, with
just about any subject matter, now that Im aware of a hidden technique. The Dividing
line technique helps quite a lot. Almost any composition can be divided into two halves,
whether theyre horizontal, diagonal, or vertical.

Up till this point, the vast majority of my compositions have not really matched up with
the 180-degree rule, and havent used a dividing line, primarily because I wasnt aware
of this technique before. Im happy Ill have a chance to practice this trick, or panel
composition techniques. All animation storyboards and comic book panels use this
technique, whether knowingly or not. It makes it 1,000 times easier to draw more than
one figure in a composition, and it work equally well in comics and animation
storyboarding. Now that Ive mastered design, Im planning on mastering the 180-Degree
Line. Who knows, I might actually draw a comic book page and storyboard page or two
this way. Thatd be a miracle.
I gotta say, this works for me. Im really loving this new way of approaching comic book
pages. Drawing 2-or-more-character panel compositions is pleasurable. Drawing a good
panel composition is BETTER THAN SEX!!!! YEAH!!!! Even when its a simple one.
After all those years of feeling like Im drawing the composition wrong, I finally got it
right. Best art breakthrough ever.
If theres anything Ive learned from this techniqueand Im learning many things, and
making many breakthroughsits that the 180 Degree Line-Rule teaches me that
drawing comics pages isnt a solo act. Eventually, if a comic book artist wants to go pro,
he has to draw more than one character and pose in a panel, in numerous and many
panels along with the main character. You can have the most coolest, badass, awesomest
kung-fu kick-ass anime-manga protagonist in the world, but if youre unable to draw him
interacting with a cast and characters in various panels, drawing comics is a suicide
mission if you dont follow the 180-Degree Line-Rule.
Ive written 110 pages of story related material, all done on spec for Parallax: Ive
written: Synopses, Premises, Outlines, Scripts. Theres some amazing writing in that
document, the Parallax Pre-Production Development Document. My Script Notation
Manuscript.
Ive also got some recent art. I have a new motto regarding that. As far as sequential art
goes, youre only as good as your last 10 pages.
Thursday, July 14, 2011,
Im not saying Im Quentin, but I am saying I seem to be slowly but surely building my
reputation as one of the main power players in the American TV action cartoon and
comics biz. I have 100+ pages of writing work to show for it.

P a g e | 1047

I try not to think too hard about the fact that Im a Master Builder of modern action
cartooning, or that Im becoming one of the most influential power players in the entire
action cartoon/cartooning biz, this side of George Lucas, Bruce Timm, Sean Akins,
Genndy Tartakovsky, Joaquin Dos Santos, and Todd McFarlane. Or the whole matureadult animation pioneer thing. I just do my job. I write my scripts and draw my
storyboards, and count bodies later. Action cartooning is a genre many fans, diehards,
and network executives of all channels and all walks of life are getting very excited
about. And who can blame them? Action cartoons are thrilling and fun to watch. Its an
adrenalin rush when the timing is fast enough.
TV:MA-rated American action, chanbara-martial-arts science-fantasy action cartoon. Im
building an entirely new genre, Quentin Tarantino style. No pressure, of course.
I have books published now featuring my work in Production Design & Comics Trade
Paperbacks. I have documents published in all my areas of expertise except
screenwriting, and storyboarding, even though Im starting to understand the 180 Degree
Line-Rule. The only thing missing is published books on Scripts and Storyboards. The
Production Design book is going to be published and delivered to me from Lulu pretty
soon.