Академический Документы
Профессиональный Документы
Культура Документы
TO
WIN WITH
PEOPLE
JOHN C.
MAXWELL
And LES PARROTT, PH.D.
CARIBBEAN-BETHANY
Dedicated to:
Tom Mullins,
You're like the Pied Piper. When you walk into an office, people want to
follow you. More than anyone I know, you personify the 25 ways to win
people over. you you make those around you feel very valuable until I
feel so close to you!
-JOHN C. MAXWELL
CONTENT
Acknowledgements
" The greatest joy of life" by John C. Maxwell
" I'm better after having met " by Les Parrott
1. Begin with you
2. Practice Rule 30 seconds
3. Let people know you need them
4. Create a keepsake and go to it frequently
5. Praise people in public
6. Give others a reputation to have to keep
7. Say the right words at the right time
8. Encourage dreams of others
9. Give credit to others
10. Give the best of you
11. Share a secret with someone
12. Remove the gold of good intentions
13. Remove your gaze from the mirror
14. Do for others what they cannot do for themselves
15. Hear with Heart
" That made me thrill . "And , John, I think you should to call the book
How to make others feel valuable ."
Then he began to list some of the things he thought I should teach in the
book: how to give them others have a reputation to keep , how to treasure
the good intentions , good stories and how to use how to help people
succeed. The more he thought, the more I loved the idea. He had written
How win people to change the common way people interact . Getting to
do what the book suggested take his time, but the book was suggesting
that I could help people learn specific skills that could improve within
days .
" You know ," I said after a pause . " Sounds like a great idea. Why do not
you write the book with me ? "
I was surprised .
"I think we'd make a great team ," added . " You said you've seen me for
years.
You're a psychologist experience, together we could find out what skills to
teach. I teach people how to work with them and you you help to
understand the psychology behind the practice. "
And so it was written 25 ways to win people over . Les and I enjoyed
while we compared notes, we had talked about relationships and
anecdotes. We believe that if you practice the skills taught in this book,
may will transform the way that people who know they see themselves , as
may make them feel that they are very valuable.
I do not think there is a larger than see others flourish , grow and reach
their potential joy. This book will can help be part of this with people you
know .
in action.
AFFORDABLE
The 25 secrets you'll find explained here have the potential to change your
life. They can help you become the kind of person whose attractive lights
fill the room when you arrive. These skills are easy to learn. There are
only a lucky few that seem to have come with those innate qualities , but
that are available to anyone who seek and are vital for anyone who wants
to win people .
happen after our value as human beings is never lost. Nothing can take
away that value. Not never forget .
ACCEPT YOUR VALUE .
How many times have you heard people say, " Something's wrong with
him ?" What they mean is that this person is not moving . That is not a
healthy person . That something stopped and is not comfortable with
herself . It's what psychologists call a person who has no self-acceptance .
Let's face it , everyone on this planet suffer from insecurities and things
we wish to change about us thereof. But there are certain things we cannot
change . Some of our things are exactly So ours. Maybe you were not born
with the look you would like , or perhaps is not as high as I would like .
Their genes shuffled the cards and you touched something eventually had
to accept either that or you reject personal value and , if so , their lives
trying to compensate for their insecurities is passed. It has become a
captive of his desire to have been different. The term comes from the Latin
ad acceptance capere and means ' take for oneself '. In other words,
inherent in the process of accepting others is the act of receiving
acceptance of yourself. I say again : You never people will win unless he
becomes a winner.
INCREASE IN VALUE.
You may already recognizes and accepts its value. Maybe he knows within
himself , in his soul, God loves you and considers invaluable .
Congratulations ! The next step is to increase your value to others solving
many of their problems as you possibly can . In other words, who needs to
maximize is , winning or repairing those things that are within their ability
to change. You may fight , for example, with a strong temperament. You
may have difficulty in setting limits or accept responsibility ; may have
bad habits or perhaps your attitude needs an overhaul. We all have
when you sold poorly . If you think you have something valuable to offer
to another person - yourself- will never win people . What you are is the
greatest value it has. While recognize this value , accept it , increase it and
make it with absolute conviction , ways to win over people described in
this book may become part of his character. And when it comes from the
heart , works great.
A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
If I could meet him in person , one of the first things I say is that I believe
in you. Expected to find it difficult to accept because they do not even
know . But I know this : All people have value and some value offer. One
of my missions in life is to see that value to others, helping them to
discover and encourage them to reach potential. You can become a winner
and help others do the same. It is for that reason that I want to be your
teacher. Maybe I can not join you in person, but I have written this Les
book because I want to help . In the following chapters , I will devote a
few pages to what I call a moment teaching so we can show you
specifically how to make people feel one million dollars. It's way to help
you win people . And when we're done , I want to suggest that seek out a
mentor who can look in the face , a winner who can add value and take
you through many additional life lessons .
tempted to claim, looking at the students and I realized that father had
deposited good words in them .
"People never forget that kind of encouragement ," he continued .
"Yesterday I spoke to your father for me and he excitedly He told of the
many graduate students who continue to visit in Florida. No surprise that
stops people travel many miles to see him, but not me . Rule 30 seconds
that father had practiced with all them every day was returning to him and
how. "
" I've seen you do this for years," I said to John , " but I never knew it was
something that you learned from your father'.
"I have learned many lessons from father, he is an amazing leader," John
replied. " I practice this rule always with any person I know . Look,
someone once told me , " Be nice . Every person you meet is fighting
strong a battle . " People need a kind word , an encouraging compliment
and strengthen their hopes their dreams. Do not cost much , but really lifts
people . "
JOHN ... A MOMENT WITH TEACHING STYLE MAXWELL
When people come together , looking for ways to look good in front of
others . The key to Rule 30 second is to reverse this practice. When you
make contact with others , instead of focusing on himself, concerned that
they look good. Each day before leaving for a meeting , I stop to think of
something that can encourage these people. It I say may be one of many
things to thank you for something you have done for me or a friend ; tell
them about some of his accomplishments ; praise them for a personal
quality that exhibit , or simply give them a compliment
their appearance. The practice is not complicated but it takes time , effort
and discipline. The rewards of practicing is immense, because it really
stimulate , but you become a transmitter of energy. Each time you enter
somewhere brighten people ! You would be a participant in creating the
kind of environment that Everyone loves . His presence would happily on
people .
RULE 30 SECONDS INFUSE MOTIVATION
Vince Lombardi , the famous coach of the football team the Green Bay
Packers, was dreaded by thediscipline applied . But he was also a great
motivator. One day he ate a live player who had failed make several
blocks. After practice , he entered the locker room and saw the player
sitting next to his locker. His head was bowed and looked very
discouraged. Lombardi ruffled hair , gave a pat on the shoulder and said, "
One of these days you will become the best defense in the NFL ." That
player was Jerry Kramer. And Kramer says he kept that positive self image
for the rest of his career. "The encouragement that gave me Lombardi had
a tremendous impact on life." In time , he became a member both the Hall
of Fame Green Bay Packers as the " Team of All Time " in the NFL. We
all need motivation from time to time . Use the 30 seconds rule encourages
people to they are and give the best of themselves . Never underestimate
the power of motivation :
Motivation helps people who know what they should do ...to do it!
Motivation helps people who know what commitment should take to ... I
assume !
Motivation helps people who know what habit should stop ...to leave it !
Motivation helps people to know what path should take ...to take it
Motivation makes it possible to achieve what should be achieved .
One of the greatest side benefits of the 30 second rule is that it also helps
you . You can not help others without at the same time is not helping
himself . Benjamin Franklin was given account of this principle and use it
to help others. In a letter to John Paul Jones, said: "From now on, if you
see occasion to give his officers and friends a little more praise than it
should be , and confesses that he committed more fouls than you think you
should recognize that alone , will soon become a great captain . Criticizing
and censuring almost everyone with whom it relates , be reduced
friendships, increase his enemies and harm their plans . " Who increase
our value , bring us closer to them. Those who make us feel less than we
are, make we move away from them. If you want others to feel good about
themselves and feel like every time you see it , then practice Rule 30
seconds.
Remember this: Those who increase our value , bring us closer to them.
Who do wefeel less than who we are , do we get away from them.
makes the work meaningful . " Walter Shipley Citibank says: "We have
68,000 employees. With a company of this magnitude , I do not got it
business ... My job is to create an environment that allows people to
support each other beyond its own abilities ... I receive credit for providing
the leadership that got us there, but it was the people who has fact ' .
Shipley understands what every successful leader knows that people need
to know that they were an important part in the result obtained . It is not a
sign of weakness to others to let them know we value them . It is a sign of
security and strength . When you are honest with the need to ask for help
when it is specific about the value they add the others to the cause and
when it is inclusive with them to form a team that will do something more
than what one is , all win.
guy who was next , not wanting to be outdone, bought one hundred bags
of peanuts and distributed throughout the section . The two received a
standing ovation and soon journalists they focused more on us in the game
. I do not remember who won, but never forget that night . I know you will
not either friends who were with me.
SHARED EXPERIENCES . ACHIEVE SOMETHING HAPPEN TO
JOINTLY
Memories are shared if experience with someone you love. Memories are
shared if experience with someone you love. Several years ago our family
went on vacation Jasper Park in Canada. As we I were there , I took my
children , Elizabeth and Joel Porter, a fish. When we returned to the cabin,
Margaret phoned to say we were on the way and she asked how we had
gone . " We caught eight trout ," he said Joel , appearing calm even though
I knew he was proud . On the road We were saying how great it would be
trout dinner we had fish . When we arrived, we trout to the kitchen but we
are surprised to see four pieces of meat ready to be cooked. "What is this?
" Joel asked his mother. "We caught eight trout ! And we want dinner
trout. " Margaret began to laugh . " I thought they had just caught a trout ,
so I went to buy steaks ." I started laughing and Elizabeth . Finally , Joel
said , "Mommy is not very good with numbers, right?
This happened when our children were eleven and thirteen . Now, every
time we make a meal outdoors my kids remember the story of the trout .
To date, married and with children of their own , still enjoy say , "Mommy
is not very good with numbers " and that makes us laugh.
MEMORIES . SHOW SOMETHING HAPPENED
John McCrone says: "Almost everything you do today you'll have
forgotten in a few weeks . the ability remembering decreases exponentially
unless it is driven by artificial aids such as diaries and photographs . " Is
not it true? Do you keep photographs or souvenir on your desk where you
can see ? Does in your wallet photos of people she loves? Do you have a
trophy , a plaque, a ball or other award on a shelf where others can see it?
We all have things we love, not for their material value but for the
memories that we bring . When you help someone else will create a
memory , you must give that person something you can revive him.
RELIVE THE MEMORY . TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
The most important part is to create a memory revive . It is the reward!
Many times when traveling with other at the end of our trip I ask them to
share one of his favorite memories . Often this leads to great conversations
. Or I write a note to someone where I share favorite memory itself. This
forms a connection that unites us and makes us feel great.
There is no person on this earth who does not understand the value of
positive memories . These can sustain people during the most difficult
times and inspire during the good times . Moreover, anyone can create a
memory and go to it often !
To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...
Forget : Try to have quality time to form a memory if you are not willing
to invest the amount of time required . ask yourself: What memories I
have created with people who wish to relive together?
Do this : Plan an experience that will commemorate an achievement or a
triumph of what people will talk in the future. And do not forget to create
an object of it.
Remember: We should not expect the memories come to us . We have to
make those memories happen.
That day I sat with the audience and wrote down the ten characteristics of
an eagle :
are the best developer of discs in Washington. Putting the best music and
has the most beautiful voice I have heard on the radio. Please excuse the
crayon . Here let us not use anything sharp . Not all are equal praise . We
value a compliment depending on who gives it . A good comment of
someone who would not allow sharp objects do not have the same weight
as a eulogy given by your boss in front of people you respect .
CONFIRMING THE PEOPLE PRAISE AND STRENGTHEN
Ratify means affirming . An endorsement is a statement of truth that you
claim in the heart of the person when expressed. As a result , it generates a
conviction. For example, when you praise the attitude of a person , the is
strengthening and making more consistent. Since you noticed in a positive
way , that person is likely to show the same attitude again. Similarly, when
ratified the dreams of people , is helping to make the dreams become more
real than your doubts. Like repeating a weightlifting regimen , routine
praise builds the qualities of the people and strengthens their personalities.
Encouragement is the oxygen of the soul. "There are special moments in
everyone's lives ," wrote George Matthew Adams, " and most of them
come by the praise that someone else has done to us. No matter how big ,
famous or winning the person, all wish applause. Encouragement is the
oxygen of the soul. You cannot expect a good job of a worker without
breath. No one can live without it. "
that Nowery Kirk , President of ISS , is " the best friend of a pastor '.
Kevin Small , INJOY president , calls it "The goals achieved " and when
talking about Doug Carter , Vice President EQUIP , says that " he never
misses an opportunity to [p 45 ] EQUIP tell the story ." John always thinks
well of people and whenever you can , talk about the great qualities you
see in them.
A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
One of the best ways to inspire others and make them feel good is by
showing them what they could become. Several years ago , an
administrator of the New York Yankees wanted new players to realize the
great privilege it was to play on that team . I used to tell them : " Boys , it's
an honor to get the striped shirt New York. So when the dress , play like
world champions . Play like the Yankees . play with pride. " When you
give someone a reputation to keep , you are giving that person a goal that
has to reach ; something that is beyond what it is now . When he speaks to
their potential, helping them to " Play with pride ," as do the Yankees.
Why is it so important? Because people will go further than they thought
if they respect someone who tells them that they can achieve. If you want
to give others a reputation to be maintained , here are some suggestions of
how to get started :
accordingly to the way they perceive you expected to act ." Reputation is
something that many people spend a lifetime trying to validate ; then, why
not help them instead of denigrate ? All people have value and potential.
Those are things that can be found in everyone if one makes an effort to
find them.
BACK- ACTION WITH HAVING GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS
When you support what you believe about a person through actions ,
doubt she has of herself will begin to dissipate. One thing is to tell your
teen that thinks he's a good driver and another to pass the car keys to come
out at night. Likewise , if you want a new manager achieves expressed
high regard for him, then give it an important responsibility. There is
nothing that gives the more confident people see someone they respect
you risk for them. Not only do they strengthen emotionally , but that will
be a resource in your path to success .
LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND AND GIVE THEM A NEW REPUTATION
FOR THE FUTURE
Negative names in the past , nicknames or labels can stop the development
and progress of a person. Maybe that's why , in many cultures, rites of
passage from one stage of life include give a name or title to the person
who is being honored . A new name gives a hope for future again. A good
example of this can be seen in Man of La Mancha , a play and film based
Classic Cervantes, Don Quixote . The protagonist, Don Alonso, wants to
become a knight errant but cross time has passed. Go where others see
giant windmills and adventures where others see only see trails of rabbits.
Comically , " rescues " a prostitute named Aldonza , whom he sees as a
beautiful lady. The flame Dulcinea and becomes the object of his feats of
knight. At first it is offended , create that you are making fun of her
because Aldonza is actually hates herself and her life. But over time , the
perspective that he has it replaces its own and gives hope. At the end of the
play , when the old lies dying in his bed , thank you for seeing her she
could not see herself. Of course, the most dramatic examples of how
someone forgets the past of others and gives them a new reputation for the
future is found in the Bible . In the book of Genesis , God changes
Abram's life , a man old and childless , to give it a new name : Abraham ,
meaning " father of many " 2 And he does father their old age. And then
Jacob takes a liar who deceives his brother, his father and lies constantly
uses deception to get ahead ; and given a new name : Israel. Your future
will become the home of the nation Israel.3
GIVE THEM A NAME FOR PEOPLE SPEAK OF NEW POTENTIAL
Harry Hopman , one of the best tennis coaches and captains in the history
of Australia and Hall of Fame International Tennis , achieved at a time to
form a team that came to dominate the tennis world . How did?
Emphasizing what he called " Coaching with affirmation ." For example ,
had a slow player who would gave the name "rocket" . At another , it was
not known for his physical strength or constitution, called " muscles '. And
that 's encouraged so that before long, the ' Rocket ' Rod Laver and Ken "
Muscles " Rosewall became world champions . I love to put names to
people talk about their potential and their greatest strengths. Of Indeed, in
family know me for that. To my own children , Elizabeth and Joel Porter ,
I call 'the apple of my eye "and " Number one son " respectively. To my
nieces Rachael and Jennifer the call " Angel " and " Sweet Pea ". My
grandchildren Madeline , Hannah , John Porter and Ella are ' Sun Shine ', '
Hanna Banana ', ' JP ' and ' Peanuts ' respectively. Every time a child is
born in our family, others want to know what name you 'll put . It is a
tradition we love them all. Why? Because we all love that feeling of mood
that occurs because someone notice us and we talk about our potential.
indicates that it took at least ten years of dedicated practice and consistent
before that large obtain some level of recognizable brand. Research also
shows that the process can be advanced dramatically when individuals
begin to see the samples that are already beginning to achieve that
reputation.
To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...
Forget : Failures of a person in the past and focus on their future potential
ask yourself: What is special , unique and wonderful this guy? How I can
show your qualities to others ?
Do this : Support the high esteem in which a person has by actions that
reinforce that view.
Remember: Many people go further than they thought they could get
because someone else thought they could and the said.
do it Dad! You're the best dad world ! You can do it ! " Two words of his
daughter, said heart , helped him continue.
RECOGNIZE THE POWER OF THE RIGHT WORDS AT THE RIGHT
TIME
To say the right words at the right time can do more than just encourage
the person who received at that time. You can make a positive and lasting
impact . The painter Benjamin West as a boy that loved to paint . When
her mother went out , he sought materials and set to work . One day, while
he was painting , he spilled the paint and left the house a mess. Fearing
that his mother returned and was found with that disorder , tried to clean
up as best he could, but only half succeeded . When his mother arrived ,
Benjamin was prepared for the worst. But his mother , without a word ,
took the box that had tried to do , looked at his son and said, "Wow , what
a beautiful painting of your sister! " He kissed her on the cheek and
walked away. With that kiss , West says, he became a painter. I do not
know what kind of experience have you had as a kid. Perhaps, like me ,
had parents who understood the power of the mind. If not , what would
have been because someone had spoken at the right time : a parent , a
teacher, a coach or a pastor? What whether or not received at the time, you
can give now . Look for opportunities to encourage others with your
words. They might change their lives.
-MARK TWAIN
LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION
When I started talking to the office staff of John , one of the things I
discovered was that he receives dozens of letters each week thanking him
for the positive changes they have experienced through their books,
seminars and lessons on CDs . I asked Sue Caldwell to let me see some of
these letters . I brought a thick file containing some that she had shared
with staff. Passing the pages , I noticed how many times people would
write about their hopes and their dreams again lit .Two letters sticking as
related to things that happened at a conference for youth leaders Christians
in which John was involved . The first , written by Kevin said : Thank you
! Without being too dramatic, I cannot begin without telling you how
much value added to life in recent six years. I was one of the 5500
prospects of leaders who attended ' Catalyst ' ... While last week you told
us , I felt like God answered prayer ... You said, " I wish you to believe in
itself as I believe in you. " That's the first time I've heard that from
someone of his generation. I hear that filled a lot of energy . The second
was written by Matt and said : In recent months he had discouraged me a
lot and I had made the idea of the dream (which I had before tried to
reach) was dying . I attended " Catalyst 2003". Unexpectedly, God moved
in my heart and
said his plan was still in effect. When you prayed for us during the
session , I could not help but mourn . His words came straight from God's
heart to mine. I will never forget that moment . Thanks for impact life .
Matt went on to say that he had renewed his dream and persevere during
this preparation period. Speaking with employees and partners John , I
realized that he has repeatedly encouraged his dreams , even if it means
losing someone that appreciates . Often when Tim Elmore was pastor staff
John in San Diego for over 10 years has been recruited by another
organization , goes to John and asks that ' remove the hat pattern and put
the mentor " to ask your advice . Tim says John behaves remarkably
objective and repeatedly encouraged him , saying, 'May it be a good
change for you. I do not want you repent for not trying . I think you should
go. " On one such trip , Tim finally went after accepting a job as vice
president of an organization to outside the church in Colorado. John kept
encouraging him the entire time. Tim really wanted to conduct their
dreams and reach their potential.
A MOMENT WITH JOHN TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
I consider it a great privilege to me when people share their dreams. That
shows me his appreciation and trust. When such a thing happens, I am
aware that I have a great power in their lives. That is not insignificant
because inadequate word can destroy the dream of a person ; however, a
suitable word can inspire that person to continue trying to make your
dream a reality. If someone considers you important enough to share with
your dreams , put attention and remember this while encouraging that
person :
2. Ratify the person as much as his dream. Let her know you value your
sleep not only but also sees features in it that will help you achieve it.
3. Ask them what challenges they have to overcome to make your dream
come true . Few ask others about their dreams ; let alone questions about
the obstacles they have to overcome to achieve them.
4. Offer to help . No one can fulfill a dream worth alone . You will be
amazed to see how people are full of vitality when offering their help .
5. Hold your interest in the dreams of others . If you want to help others
fulfill their dreams , do not convert your participation in something one
day. Ask them how they are doing and support them as you can.
6. Take a daily determination to be a generator of dreams, not sink them.
We all have dreams and all need encouragement. Synchronize your mental
radar to be aware of the dreams of others and help in the process of
achieving them.
PEOPLE KEEP YOUR DREAMS ARE MADE ONCE
Scott Adams , creator of the Dilbert comic strip , tells the story of his
beginnings as a caricaturist : You do not have to be a 'person of influence'
to influence . In fact , people who have had more influence on life does
not even know the things I've learned from them. When I was trying to
become a cartoonist professional portfolio of work sent to several
publishers . I was rejected again and again . One of them even called me to
tell me I should take art classes. I kept trying until Sara Gillespie, an editor
at United Media and an expert in her area , offered me a contract . At first I
did not believe him . I asked if he wanted to change style , to work with a
partner or to learn to draw. However, she thought I was sufficiently good
to be a cartoonist whose work is published nationally. His confidence in
me made to change altered perspective and what he thought of my
abilities. This may sound strange, but from the moment that I hung up, I
started to draw better . You can see a marked improvement in the quality
of the cartoons I've drawn from that conversation. The editor Sara
Gillespie gave Adams a chance to fulfill his dream , but as many as had
discouraged him they felt unable to accept the offer . However, thanks to
the encouragement of Mrs. Gillespie and the opportunity you gave, Dilbert
is now one of the most popular comic strips in the United States. We do
not know what would happen if I started to encourage the dreams of those
around her . When your life is closing, would not you like to be the person
to whom others refer to as "I triumphed thanks to that person believed in
me when nobody else did ? " Begin to encourage others . The more you
do, the more people will share their dreams and opportunities to see those
dreams will blossom.
many others , including their parents. Kevin told me that when John had
finished, there were tears in the eyes of all the guests. Making a book is
successful and gets into the hands of those who need it will always be a
team effort , even when not all authors see it that way . Everyone involved
in the process have a role to John met and made every effort to give credit
and recognize the contribution of each one of those people .
JOHN ... A MOMENT WITH TEACHING STYLE MAXWELL
I will never forget that night in Orlando. When I wrote that book in 1979 ,
I never dreamed that anything I wrote would sell a million copies . That
night as we returned to the hotel, Margaret asked me what was the best
banquet . Without thinking twice I said that was when I could give credit
to the people who helped me both . We rarely have the opportunity to
thank enough the people who help us , especially in public places. I
wanted to take advantage of that time. Not only makes us feel good to
share a triumph , but also encourages others . And makes you feel like a
million dollars. Give credit to others is one of the easiest ways to win
people over . If you want to practice , they are here some suggestions that
can help you get started:
LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR
The number one reason why people do not give credit to others is because
they think that somehow they can lose yours. Many people are so insecure
that they have to be constantly feeding his ego to feel compensated . But
you can not practice this method of making people if the ego does not
allow a side . " A selfish is not thinking much of it , but someone who
thinks very little in others" Have you ever heard the saying : " A selfish is
not someone who thinks a lot about it, but someone who thinks little in
others " ? If you want to give credit to others , focus on them. What do you
need ? How feel when they give them the credit ? How does performance
When you give credit to people verbally, they are being encouraged for a
moment. When in writing, it is encouraging for the lifetime. People stand
plates on the walls as a reminder of their achievements. Saved and
treasured letters speak of recognition and appreciation for the things they
did . Deep inside of us , we all want to make a difference and occasionally
need some encouragement . I have a file in office with letters and notes
that have a special meaning for me. Occasionally sack the file and read
some of the things that people I respect have told me. That helps me relive
that moment stimulus . It is said that President Abraham Lincoln used to
carry a newspaper article that talked his accomplishments as president. He
was one of the greatest leaders in the history of the United States, without
But he wanted something to keep it lively. Please do not underestimate the
impact of an article , a public note or staff can achieve. What it takes for
you just a few minutes to write may be something that inspires someone
else for decades.
WHAT WE SAY , SAY HEART
I love this joke: An elderly man lay dying in his bed and his wife was
sitting near him. When he opened his eyes and saw her, he said: " Here
you are Agnes , by side again." " Yes, dear," she replied . " Come to
think ," said the old man , " I remember all the times you've been to side.
You were to side when received the news of recruitment and had to go to
war. Been to side when our first house you burned . When I had the
accident that tore our car. And you were at your side when business went
bankrupt and lost everything. " " Yes, dear ," said his wife. The old man
sighed . " Agnes ," he said, " you have brought me luck ." It may seem
obvious , but I want to say so that not misunderstand . Never say anything
that does not create just to encourage someone . If you are not sincere ,
you will not make people feel good; make them feel cheated . When you
give the credit to others, need to do it from the heart.
For many years I have been receiving the tapes with the leadership lessons
that John taught each month. After hearing one of them entitled 'Preparing
the difference between winning and losing , " I had to make a question to
John . " I loved teaching and took some things that have helped me ," he
said, " but I need to ask you a question . Do you really think the
preparation is so important in the life of a person ? " " Absolutely ," he
replied . "This is what really makes the difference between winners and
losers. Preparation is more than a discipline, it is an attitude , a lifestyle .
My father used to quote the Bible verse says : " Whatsoever thy hand finds
to do, do it with thy might ." In other words, what you do or as you have,
offers the best of you. I try to follow this principle in everything I do. " I
have watched John for years and know it's true . Everything he does , he
does with excellence, but it is even more than that. While we were
working on this book , we had a meeting in San Diego. Simultaneously,
John expected news about the birth of their fourth grandchild. When the
meeting ended , he took us to dinner at Peohe's , his restaurant favorite in
San Diego , which has an excellent menu and an even better view. It is
located on the island of Coronado, against the scenic bay area of San
Diego. We stood at the outer section , near the water. Immediately John
and Margaret took the seats looked into the restaurant for everyone else
enjoying ourselves view of the bay. During the meeting at office also had
sea view, John also sat with his back to the window , allowing other
people who came to visit could enjoy the view . And in neither case had
been a coincidence. I know John and I know you think in the details. He
had chosen the worst seat because I wanted to offer us us better .
A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
For years I have been invited to be the speaker for various organizations in
their special events. That's something I enjoy. I communicate with an
audience full of energy. It would be easy for me to ' improvise ' or do some
speech made before packaging elsewhere . But not because I do not think
that is correct. Rather, it took time to find out about the company. Find out
as much as possible about the particular event and what they want to
achieve. Why would he do that knowing that I do not need to succeed? I
do it because I have a goal every time I talk . I want the person who
invited me to speak say later: " You exceeded our expectations . " I want to
give the best. Maybe you're from the people who already have that
mentality to give their best . If so , I congratulate you and encourage you
to keep that attitude. But if not, I hope these ideas help him develop that
mindset :
ANYONE CAN BE IMPORTANT TO ME
Most likely give the best of ourselves to those we love and respect .
memory time when school teachers and wanted some aversion felt by
others. I always gave my best teachers and others who wanted to give
them only what is necessary to pass the course . Later I realized that these
attitudes often damaging my relationships with others as potential to
succeed . but then discovered the antidote : If I saw all people as important
, not only I liked them , then You could always give the best of me. This
change of attitude prompted a change in my actions.
WE DO ANYTHING TO BE IMPORTANT
Most times in life will be special if we see them that way. An average day
will be just a average day because we have not made it special. The best
way is to raise an experience best of us . That makes it special. A normal
conversation becomes better when listening with interest. Ratio common
is transformed when you make an effort. An insignificant event becomes
others . This cultivar is called ' satisfaction ' .1 No need for a research
study to know that when you give the best of themselves , automatically
feel satisfied.
To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...
Forget : From just do the minimum to pass it Apply to do your best .
Inquire: What can I do for someone who I can not return the favor ?
do it: Voluntarily give more than is required.
Remember: We all appreciate a person who gives his best .
In 1996 John took a very important decision that concerned his company
and for a while only a few would said . Charlie Wetzel was one of them .
This is what Charlie said about what that meant to him and his relationship
John : One day , John asked me to come to your home office for us to
work in the book that we were getting in those days . It was a very
productive session work and when we had finished, John said, " Charlie ,
before I want you to go talk to you about something. " When an employee
hears these words of his boss, pays attention immediately . Sometimes
words that follow include phrases like " tough economy ", " poor
performance " or "You're fired ! " John continued: " In about a year , will
move the company out of San Diego. We will not still promote it to all
staff but I'm telling people executive team - inner circle - so they can start
processing the information. We 're moving to Atlanta. " Then I said to be
traveling outside of San Diego was affecting him not only to him but to
the other consultants working for the company. When asked his assistant ,
Linda Eggers , who calculated how many days he had taken during the
previous year in connection flight from San Diego to Dallas , Chicago or
Atlanta , Linda returned with an amount that left him speechless :Thirty
days ! John was there that he realized he had to do something. I had to
begin to process all that information. Then John said, " Charlie , I hope
you come with us'. John only talked to me for a few minutes , but what he
told me changed lifetime. He had nearly two years of working with him
and we'd already written five or six books together. I had worked hard and
he I had always been very generous with your praise , but had no idea that
I valued so much. Once I shared that secret place in your esteem, career
and even changed my own eyes. John has done many wonderful things for
family and me through the years. It is very generous and many these
things have cost time and money. Share your secret about the move cost
him nothing ; however, caused a great impact on me. It made me feel like
1. SHARING
INFORMATION
SECRET
MEANS
GIVING
VALUABLE
When you share a secret information that must be the person you are
talking to is interested listening . Make it part of your interest or fill a need
that they possess . For example , two experienced seafishermen decided
one day to go ice fishing . Both made holes in the ice , put baits on hooks ,
released the ropes and waited. After three hours, they had not taken
anything. While they were sitting there , they saw a child reach also made
a hole between them. He put a bait your hook , dropped the rope in the
water and in a moment took a fish. The child repeated the process and
little time had taken more than a dozen fish. The other two fishermen
looked amazed. Finally , one of the men approached him and said, "
Young man, have been here for over three hours and no We have caught
nothing . And you, in minutes , has at least a dozen fish . What is your
secret? " The boy mumbled an answer, but the man did not understand .
Then he saw the child's left cheek had a bulge . "Please," he asked , could
you will get you the gum of the mouth, so that you can understand what
you say ?
The child made a cup with his hands, he had spat in his mouth and said,
" It's not gum ; is secret. one has to keep the hot bait. "
2. SHARING A SECRET THAT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL SPECIAL
Them know something other people always raises their egos . Charlie 's
comment says it all: "I did not idea valued me so much. Once he told me
that secret place in your esteem, career and even in my own eyes changed .
" But as I said, the secret does not have to be dramatic to have an effect
positive . For example , when I play golf , I usually bring with me a
laminated card that contains some advice he gave me the professional
player Scott Szymoniak . Sometimes , if a friend of the band is not playing
well , I call it aside and say, "I want to share you a secret that has helped
me in the game ." I draw card and show the six basic things that a golfer
must learn and perform . I also say it's personal plan for play golf and do
not share it with everyone . How do you feel when you know it's the first
one who is told something ? It makes me feel special. That's one of the
reasons why wife Margaret and I have practiced telling us rather than any
other person many things that have happened to us on the day. How do I
do ? I always carry a small notebook with me where I write the things I
want to tell . Anything I write, the "file" to tell it to her first . That gives us
special moments each day .
3. SHARING A SECRET MAKE OTHERS FEEL INCLUDED IN YOUR
EXPERIENCE
The main thing to share a secret with others is that doing so is creating an
act of inclusion. The main thing to share a secret with others is that doing
so is creating an act of inclusion. It is a form to invite people into your life,
your experience. Includes them in his triumph. When I speak to an
audience is a panel of executives or stadium full of people - intentionally
use inclusive language . Permi my listeners to enter into personal
experience. And when I'm revealing something I have not said previously
in public , I do know that I am. That action communicates to people how
much I care and that desire to help them.
Let's be honest . Not everyone has good intentions. If you are extracting
the gold from the good intentions probably you will meet people who want
to take advantage of you . To me it has happened to me and follow me
happening. But because now I assume the best of people , many have done
wonderful things for me , so many you can not even count them. I 've
noticed that when I suspect someone , that makes me have a wrong
attitude toward that person . And , of course , that makes interaction with it
is even worse. In general , you get what you expect from others. So I
decided to take the less complicated way , expect the best and be blessed
most of the time. If you want to have the same experience as me, then , do
this:
THINK WELL OF PERSONS
The first thing you need to do is analyze your attitude. How to watch
others ? Do you think that people want be good ? What they want to give
their best ? That matters , because if you do not think well of others, never
believe that his intentions are good. And if you do not believe in your
intentions , I imagine that will not strive to "extract" the gold in them .
LOOK AT THINGS FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF PERSONS
This matter of perspective really has to do with maturity. Think of these
two scouts Inexperienced whose younger brother had fallen into a lake.
Ran to his house, where his mother was . And one of sobbing told them : "
We tried to give mouth-to- mouth, but he insisted on standing and
running ." Without maturity , no perspective. The more immature a person
is, the more difficult it will be to see things from another point of view .
Think of the biblical story of the woman who was caught in adultery and
how Jesus challenged the people so that they would not have sin throw the
first stone. Older people in the crowd were first drop the stones and walk
away. Why? Because maturity gave them a better perspective. " As is our
tendency to see ourselves in the light of our intentions, which are invisible
others , "said the philosopher J. G. Bennet , " and see others in the light of
their actions, which are visible to us, then we have a situation where the
misunderstanding and injustice are the order of the day. " And that is This
is precisely the ability to see things from another perspective is essential to
extract gold from the good intentions of others .
PERSONS GRANTED TO THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
Surely when you were a child, you were taught the Golden Rule : " Do
unto others what you want them do unto you . " Often when my intentions
were good but not my actions , I wanted the other I saw the light of the
golden rule . In other words, wanted others to give me the benefit of the
doubt. So why not use that same courtesy to others?
"Knowing that anything we do has the seal of perfection and nothing that
we no longer have the brand a limited and fallible humanity , the only
thing that saves us is forgiveness . "
- David Augsburger
Frank Clark said : " What great things would be if everyone did what he
intended to do ." Although I am agree with that , I would add : " What
beautiful relationships if everyone would be appreciated intended to do
so , despite what they may have done. " When you give someone the
benefit of doubt, is the most effective interpersonal following rule ever
written .
Augsburger says, " Knowing that anything we do has the seal of perfection
and nothing that we ceases to be the mark of a limited and fallible
humanity , the only thing that saves us is forgiveness . " If you want to
extract gold from the good intentions of others, then forgiveness is
essential. And hardly be one thing time . The civil rights leader Martin
Luther King, Jr. was right when he said, " Forgiveness is not an occasional
act , it is a permanent attitude. "
" Forgiveness is not an occasional act , it is a permanent attitude."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
And remember, the attitude with which you judge others is the one that
will also be judged. If you remove the gold good intentions in their
relationships with others , then it is more likely that people will do the
same with you .
who were studied for over 30 years , found that adults with caring and
exceptional often emerged from a difficult childhood . What was it that
made the difference ? Two qualities stood out :
( 1) found a good relationship at some time in their lives , a mentor or
other kind of model, and
(2) were willing to help other people.
To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...
Forget : Justice and focus on grace and forgiveness.
ask yourself: How would I feel and what I would do if I were in the place
of that person?
Do this : Practice the golden rule to assess the intentions of others , not
just what they do; treat them in the same way that I would like them to
treat you.
Remember: If I cannot think well of others , I cannot force myself to
"extract" the gold that is on them.
I do not know what your destiny will be , but one thing I do know : the
only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought
and found how to serve.
ALBERT SCHWEITZER LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION
Shortly after John moved his company from San Diego , California to
Atlanta , Georgia, in 1997 , he hired researcher George Barna to come to
Atlanta and develop a strategic plan with the executive team . Barna He is
director of the Barna Group , a company of marketing studies located in
Ventura , California. this company has extensive experience analyzing
cultural trends and collecting information about the Christian church.
Leaders and thinkers John companies gathered in the conference room for
an eight- session hours where they could ask whatever they wanted Barna
and get a plan of business strategies marketing for the coming years . It
was not long for all it involve them in the conversation and began absorb
the thoughts of Barna . He answered every question . Discussing concepts
and strategies and then Barna expressing their ideas and hear your
opinion . Linda Eggers, John 's assistant for many years, during the session
noted that John listened intently but rarely did a comment . Seemed happy
just by listening . At the end of the day, when she and John were sat down
to talk about the agenda , correspondence, travel arrangements and things
like that , Linda noticed that John had a sheet full of questions for George
Barna who ignored him . Linda was surprised , especially since she was
the one who had arranged to hire services Barna and John knew what he
had paid for that advice. So I said: " John , all spoke , except you. Why did
not you any of your questions ? " "You know , Linda? " John said . "
Everyone was very excited to meet George and infused them that much
energy, which did not want to ruin the moment . No matter if you have not
done my questions , maybe next time . " Linda says that's one of the
reasons why she loves working with John . "I know that because he that
looks stunning and has great charisma in front of an audience are people
who think it is arrogant. Do not know how others think and how to give
them priority . " If you focus on others, strives to give them what they
need, then removed his gaze from the mirror and that is a wonderful way
to win over people .
A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
One of the key questions in the book How do I win [p 93 ] is the
connection people factor : Are we willing to focus on others ? The
fundamental concept of this question lies in the principle of perspective,
which says: "All the world's population , with one small exception , is
composed of other beings human '. If you have never seen life like that,
then it's time you try. If people think that they are the center of the
universe , not only will take a big disappointment when they realize that is
not true, but it also insulated from those around him. I have not met
anyone who can win others who have not mastered the ability to stop
looking in the mirror and serve others with dignity. Most people admit that
altruism is a positive quality and even the most self-centered individual
has the desire within himself to help others . Sometimes the problem is to
change our behavior to acquire habit of focusing on others instead of us.
Here are some thoughts that will help to stop looking in the mirror :
FOCUS ON YOU GIVE OTHERS A SENSE OF PURPOSE
If you grew up in the United States during the fifties and sixties, then you
might remember Danny Thomas , the host of Make Room for Daddy
( Make room for Daddy) . At one point, Thomas said : " We were all born
with a purpose, but not all discovered . Success in life has nothing to do
with what get in life or you achieve for yourself , but what you do for
others. " Thomas believed not only that, but it lived. As a successful
entertainer and TV star , he could have devoted enjoying the benefits of
their achievements. But he wanted more . He founded the St. Jude
hospital, a research center which deals with care of children suffering from
the most terrible diseases in the world. And he devoted much of his life to
hold economically that hospital. That helped him enjoy a purpose much
greater .
FOCUS ON OTHERS CAN YOU GIVE POWER
Continually focus only on you can actually leave it without power ; others
focus on produce the opposite effect. My friend, Bill McCartney knew this
and used it when he was the head coach of the Buffaloes University of
Colorado. Mac had heard that most people spend 86 % of their time think
of themselves and only 14 % thinking of others . But he instinctively knew
that if his players pegged their attention to someone who appreciated
rather than themselves, a new source of energy would be available. In
1991, when they had to face a challenge , decided to use this information.
Colorado had to play against super rival , the Nebraska Cornhuskers in
Nebraska Territory . The problem was that there was Colorado won a
game there for 23 years, but coach McCartney trusted his team and sought
a way to inspire them to win. In the end, decided to appeal to the love they
had for each other. He told his players to call any person to whom they
loved and told him they were going to spend that game. And being asked
to observe every play because every attack, every block and every point
would be dedicated to it. Mac took yet another step. He had sixty balls
were distributed with the final score of the game written on them, so that
each player could send one to the person to whom he had dedicated the
game. The Colorado Buffaloes won . The final score was written in the 2712 balls .
FOCUS ON OTHERS CAN GIVE YOU A FEELING OF COMPLIANCE
- JOHN BUNYAN
LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION
Some time ago , John gave a big boost to career as a lecturer when I
opened it doors I could never have opened. Thanks to your
recommendation , I could speak on various platforms around the country
and address audiences of several thousands at a time. The people who did
not know me events ; but I knew John and trusted their endorsement to
support a young lecturer was coming. That was 15 years ago, and am still
very grateful to John for what he did for me at that time. It gave me
something I never could have achieved without him the launch Race [p
98 ] professional and lecturer. Countless people could tell how John has
worked to help personally or professionally. Once I talked with Tim
Elmore , a longtime friend and employee who is now vice president of
EQUIP , after pondering for a moment, said: "It is difficult to reduce
everything to a single example . John has done so much for me and I owe
you so much ... " Maybe more staff can show you how the heart of John .
He and I went to Bangalore , India, to give some lessons about leadership.
I must admit that this was a trip I would not have done if I had not John
used in EQUIP. Before leaving the country , wife Pam asked him to take
care of me because I suffer from diabetes. If the level of blood sugar drops
suddenly , disoriented me , I did not realize that things are bad and
generally I need to go to a hospital for help. It is disturbing , especially
when one is in abroad. When we got to India, John was received like a
rock star. You cannot imagine how the people treated . Abroad, people are
lining up for hours to meet him and for me to sign some of their books .
Well, John gave a session in Bangalore and people are excited to the
extent that started coming up where he was but as there were so many ,
began to tighten . And what did he do? He tried to move amid the crowd,
grabbed my briefcase with tools for diabetes and made sure that was not in
trouble. It may sound like a small thing but it's hard to believe that
someone cannot get carried away by the moment and instead prefer
concentrate on the needs of another person. That shows me the nobility of
John and his desire for help others . Tim had to swallow as she told me
that last part . Her story impressed me , but there is more caused greater
impression on me. Each of the people with whom I spoke about this
quality of John told me he wanted to do for others what John had done for
each of them . Since I had helped them do things that otherwise could not
have done , felt inspired to encourage that in others.
A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
The ambassador and poet Henry Van Dyke said, " There is a nobler
ambition to become great only in the world . Is bending and lifting
humanity for her to be even bigger "What a great perspective! Do others
what they cannot do for themselves is really a matter of attitude. I believe
that everything I received must share with others. And as I have a mind
full of abundance, not worried about that left me with nothing. The more
you give , it seems that I get more to keep on giving.
"There is a noble ambition that only become great in the world. It's stoop
and lift up humanity for her to be even more great. "
-Henry Van Dyke
No matter how much or how little you have, you have the ability to do for
others what they do not can do for themselves . The exact way to do this
will depend on your personal gifts , resources and history.
However, you can try thinking of the following four areas :
1. THIS TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO MAY NOT KNOW AT YOUR
OWN
with a concept that I am eager to teach. I put some ideas on paper and then
I meet a group of thinkers creative to help me test the concept , ideas
launched air and ended up specifying a sketch. Every time we've done
this, you have given me great ideas I never would have thought of myself .
I have to say I am very grateful. One of the things I like about this is that
people enjoy creative ideas and always seem to have more . The more you
give, the more out of their heads. Creativity and generosity feed each other
, that is one of the reasons why I can easily share ideas with others. I am
convinced that I will die before I run out of them. It is better to give some
ideas and contribute to the success of another person to have those ideas
without to use.
Forget : Worrying about what you can get from others and focus on what
you can do for others .
ask yourself: What opportunity , idea or experience I can provide
someone who might otherwise never get ?
Do this : Using a list of your skills , resources and connections , consider
some specific things that you can make for others.
Remember: We need others to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves .
ever they do, their attitude often is: Forget the history of childbirth , just
show me the baby. I believe that John is a person of strong character. It
can be a class leader " you are in charge, not like prisoners. " But it is also
a very good listener . It is particularly adept at understanding how it feels
people . Because this feature is very rare in people like him , I asked him
how he became so good for listen . "Failure " was his reply. "The constant
failure . I started as a horrible listener . At first career thought I knew
everything. The only reason people left was because he knew that speak
would soon turn to. "In marriage things went a little better," he continued.
"I wanted to listen to Margaret because loved. But that did not stop me
from being Mr. " Wise Guy ." In the book How to win people over , I
mean how he used to win arguments with her but lost it emotionally.
Finally , to understand how it was hurting your feelings , I stopped what I
was doing and I learned to listen , not just his words, but the feelings had
behind the words . I learned to listen with the heart. " "And how did you
do the same in your career? ' I asked. " I could see the value of this attitude
by the way Margaret and our relationship changed . But it also gave me
that it was a good leadership. President Woodrow Wilson said : " The ear
of the leader must vibrate with voices of the people. " For a couple of
years , what I did was when I was in a meeting, writing a capital E largest
notebook to remind me I should listen . Over time , it became a skill that I
managed master . " If you already are a good listener , has come a long
way . All you have to do is listen " between the lines" for clues that tell
how others feel . If you are more like John , it will take a while to learn the
ability to listen with the heart, but anyone can do it . One need not be a
trained psychologist.
A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
One of the things he said was: " Managing people is like conducting an
orchestra. There many different musicians and instruments the principal
must know thoroughly . " Drucker knew challenged us to really the key to
our team people. During the past 20 years , purpose has been to discover
the keys to the hearts of people in life, beginning with family and inner
circle. This is what I learned :
ACCEPT THE FACT THAT PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT
I have written other books when I was younger I used to believe that
everyone should be like me if they wanted to succeed. I have matured a lot
since then. Part of that growth has been the result of travel and meet many
types of people. Books such as Personality Plus ( A top personality)
Florence Littauer also helped. I've come to realize over time that there are
large gaps in my skills , like everyone and if people with different talents
and temperaments work together , we all win and manage to make much
more . Also enjoy more from life. If you have a healthy self-image , is
likely to fall into the same trap as me. However, You cannot win if people
internally believe that everyone should be like you. Accept that people are
different and celebrate God made us that way .
must know what your goals are . " What makes you mourn ? " When one
understands the pain of the people , that makes you understand their
hearts. " What makes you sing? " What brings happiness to people is often
the source of his strength . " What are your values? " When people give
you access to your values , you must know who has entered the most
secret chamber of their hearts. " What are your strengths ? " What people
perceive as their strengths always make your hearts proud. " What is your
temperament ? " Know that, and often discover the way to their hearts.
Obviously , do not make your questions seem an interview nor need to
know all the answers in a single conversation . The process can be both
natural and directed .
SET POINTS IN COMMON
The word communication comes from the Latin communis , meaning "
common." Good leaders , communicators and charismatic people always
find something in common with the people you speak . It is there, in those
commonalities that manage to communicate with others . If you have
asked questions and listened , safely discover commonalities . Sometimes
in meetings , secret agendas make communication is inefficient because of
the way people cannot find common ground . When that happens , try to
suggest that all parties put agree on one basic rule. When someone
disagrees with another , before expressing his point itself , you have to
understand and be able to articulate the point of his opponent. You will be
amazed to see how fast this practice makes people find common ground .
ACCEPT THAT , OVER TIME, PEOPLE CHANGE
For some people , getting in tune with the dreams and desires of others is a
big step , as well can find the key to their hearts. But not enough to do that
once and then think that this is retained forever. Time changes everything,
even the human heart. Fred Bucy , former president of Texas Instruments,
said : " The easiest thing is to assume that what worked yesterday will
work today, but that is simply not true. " What is effective in motivating
people in a time of their careers will not necessarily be effective in
motivating them in the future. What hits your hearts on a stage their lives
will probably not be the same after a while . Successes and failures ,
tragedies and triumphs , goals achieved and dreams that are the basis of
everything, impact values and desires of a person. So what does that mean
for someone who wants to win people discovering the keys to their
hearts ? It means that you should ...
MAINTAIN A CONTINUING CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS .
Continue to communicate on an emotional level . Ask which has impacted
their feelings so far ; if the answers differ , then you know that they are
changing and having a new opportunity to learn what interests them now .
BE ALERT TO THE " CHANGE INDICATORS IN THE LIFE OF A
PERSON .
There are moments in the lives that people are more likely to change:
( 1) both suffer when they have to change ,
(2) when learn enough that they want to change , and
(3 ) when they receive enough training to change that .
If you practice these two disciplines , especially with his family and key
people in your organization may maintain a connection with them. I need
to tell you something more about discovering the key to the hearts of
people and this is the point Most important: Once you have found the key ,
you must act with integrity, because that person has been entrusted
something of great value . Never use it to manipulate anyone. " Use " key
only when it can add more value to that person.
" I just spent the Hotel del Coronado and I'm entering the complex ."
" What color is the car you rented ? "
"It's silver ," I said to John on the phone.
" All right, I'm watching " John said . " Turn right and see a space that is
left empty ."
"And where are you ? ' I asked.
' Above '. John was on the balcony of the building on Coronado Island in
San Diego. He had rented a condo and I had flown for a day of meetings
with him .
"Ah , there you are ! "
I started laughing when waving from the balcony. Only John would have
happened to be looking for spaces available from where I was so I could
find a place to park . Offer our help to others to earn people is one of the
first lessons we learn in any kind of social psychology. But John gives it a
new twist , he does everything he can to help and if someone are in need ,
it is often the first on the scene . "Sometimes it's the little details of John ,"
said the employee Ken Coleman. "When I travel with him , often I have
seen someone helps you put your bags in the compartment of the plane
even though most passengers do not pay attention or try to avoid the
person. John takes a conscious effort to help one at the time. It seems like
a reflex in him. " John 's career in the ministry for 26 years has probably
caused a great impact on him in this area. Good shepherds seem able to
tune into the needs of others. But you do not have to be a professional
pastor to see the needs of people and be the first to help. It's the kind of
thing that anyone can do, regardless of age , talent or socioeconomic status
.
A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
" You will get to have everything you want in life if you help enough other
so that they come to have everything they want . "
- Zig Ziglar
My friend Zig Ziglar said, " You will get to have everything you want in
life if you help enough for other they get to have everything they want . "
Zig is a living example of this. He has helped many people and as a result
has had great success. I love helping people . I think it's one of the
reasons why God put us in this land, but helping others is more than
benefit them. It also helps you to win them . I say this because whenever
you are ready to help , will be making a statement. It's like leaving a
business card that never forget . How, then, can you be the first to help ?
Follow these guidelines :
BECOMING THE HELP OTHERS IN A PRIORITY
Many times we are so consumed with our schedules to help others is not
important to us. The solution is to make helping others is part of our
agenda , a top priority. I read recently about something that the winner of
Academy Awards , Tom Hanks made several years ago while filming The
Green Mile ( The Green Mile ) shows that helping others is a priority for
him . Frank Darabont , director film , Hanks spoke of commitment to
make the actor Michael Duncan will give the best of themselves and spoke
of the impression that caused it. Darabont said : What remember in fifteen
or twenty years ( on this film)? One thing I will never forget : While we
were we filmed , we were about to take a shot with Michael Duncan, when
I realized that I was Hanks distracting while doing a wonderful
performance out of chambers , Michael Duncan. What I wanted was to
give Michael everything you might need for the best possible
performance. I wanted Michael to do well . that looked good . Never
forget that. Tom Hanks, like many other Hollywood actors , may have
been the first to ignore Duncan. In Instead, it was the first to help .
Obviously yes it worked. In 1999 Michael Clarke Duncan was nominated
for Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor . Since then , Duncan 's
career despeg.
BE AWARE OF THE NEEDS OF OTHERS
This may sound obvious, but no one can solve a need that does not know
exists . We must begin by worrying about the people who are around us
and look at your needs. Sometimes that knowledge can come from
listening with the heart . Sometimes just paying attention to what 's going
on around them. And even other to get mentally in the place of the other
person. There is a Jewish legend that two brothers were sharing a field and
a windmill. Every night divided grain product which had been milled
together during the day . One brother lived alone ; the other had married
and had a large family . One day the single brother thought , It's not fair
that we divide the grain evenly . I just have to watch myself , but brother
has kids to feed . So every night , secretly took some of their flour to the
cellar of his brother. But the married brother thought the situation of his
brother and said , It is not right to divide the grain equally , because I have
children and provide me when they 're old , but has no brother . What will
when you are old ? So every night also had secretly part of your meal and
put it in the cellar his brother. Logically , every morning the brothers
found their supplies of flour mysteriously the same amount . Until one
night they met halfway between their homes. They realized what the other
was doing and gave a big hug . The legend says that God saw that time
and said, " This is a place holy, a place of love , and this is where the
temple was built . " It is said that the first temple was built in the same
sitio. Be willing to risk Sometimes helping someone else can be risky ;
however, that should not stop us from doing so. Ken Sutterfield tells a
story that happened in the 1936 Olympics in Berlin, and illustrating the
impact that occurs when someone is willing to risk . American sprinter
Jesse Owens had established do three Olympic marks in one day ,
including a mark of 26 feet 8 1/4 inches in the long jump a record that
would not break in the next 25 years. However, Owens had to face a lot of
pressure during games . Hitler and his fellow Nazis wanted to use the
competition to establish the Aryan superiority and Owens a African
American , could feel the hostility towards him. When Owens was trying
to qualify for the finals during the games , a German was nervous to see
tall and blue eyes was practicing jumps in the category of 26 feet . On his
first jump, Owens spent few inches from the line. He also missed his
second attempt. Only had one more chance. If he failed , would be
eliminated . The German then approached Owens and presented . His
name was Luz Long. While Nazis looked , Long encouraged Owens and
gave him some advice. Since the distance to qualify was only 23 feet 5
inches, suggested he jumped a few inches before the starting line to make
sure there a mistake. Owens did so and called on his third jump. In the end
, made another Olympic record and won one of four medals . And who
was the first to congratulate ? Luz Long ! Owens never forgot the help that
Long had given him , even if they saw him . "If all melted medals and
trophies that I have " Owens wrote , " could never complete the 24-carat
friendship I feel for Light Long '.3
ONCE YOU START TO HELP SOMEONE DO NOT LEAVE
On one occasion , members of the Philharmonic Society of New York, a
favorite charity Andrew Carnegie , he approached the philanthropist
seeking financial support. I was about to write a check to completely
eliminate the deficit of the company when suddenly stopped. "I'm sure
there must be other lovers of generous and rich music in this town that
could also help " said . "Why not raise half of this amount and then return
me to give them the other half? " The next day , the treasurer returned and
said they had raised $ 30,000 and came by the other half. Carnegie was
extremely pleased with the effort and gave him the check, but out of
curiosity , he said, "Who , may I ask, contributed the other half? " "His
wife, Mrs. Carnegie ," was the answer. Sometimes when we are the first to
offer help, we discovered that the person who made you Offer has no such
need as we thought. Continue helping anyway. Be the first to help is a
great way to win over people . Offer your support and then not doing so is
a sure way to lose .
Forget: Thinking of personal gain and think about how you can help.
Inquire: How I can help ?
do it: Be the first to offer their services , your support or just lend a hand.
Remember: If you help enough people to get what they want , you also
get what you want.
have very little to offer. Why? Because they themselves have not been
recovered . Become more valuable is not an entirely selfish act . When you
acquire knowledge , learning a new skill , or experience is not only better,
but also is increasing its capacity to help others . In 1974 I committed to
personal growth . I knew it would help me be a better minister , so I
started to read books, listen to lectures , attend conferences and learn from
good leaders. At that time there had no idea that would be most important
commitment you'll ever make to help others, but that was what happened .
The more progressed, also progressed ability to help others. The more I
progressed, more could help others to develop. This principle is the same
for you. If you want to add value to people, you should make himself more
valuable.
KNOW WHAT PEOPLE RATE
As you have already read the chapters "Listen with your heart " and " Find
the key that unlocks the hearts of others " Has a good foundation on the
principle behind this practice. If you have already begun to practice , then
will have noticed that you might take a long time, but also know that it is
the most important step for add value to people . Once we know what
people value , we need only a little effort add value to you . Knowing what
people value appreciation has become part of life now and you should do
the same . Here are some examples of own life :
My wife Margaret valued time with her as well as attention to her. My
children , Elizabeth and Joel Potter , appreciate the legacy that Margaret
and I are leaving . Larry , brother, my prayers and valued our time
together. Eric and Troy, my nephews , value the fatherly advice and
unconditional love I give . Linda, wizard, time value and effectiveness , as
it is an integral part of it. John , the president of nonprofit organization
EQUIP , values and leadership opportunities I give . Kirk , the president of
company ISS , values friendship and companionship. Kevin , the company
do it: List the people in your life and write down exactly what they value
most about you.
Remember: If you do not value a person , she will never feel important in
your presence .
" Les " John said, " Tell me about your parents. How's them since moving
to Phoenix? " Only someone like him would remember that my parents
had recently moved . " What about your brothers? " He continued, "what 's
up with them? " John always seems to remember history , like that of
many others. It is very good at it and very consistent . When someone you
know , I've heard ask for his life. So I asked him how he had learned to
collect the stories of people. "To begin ," he explained , "I love a good
story , is about someone who just met or Adventure someone I know in a
lifetime. In fact, when I'm with father , who is now eighty-two years , we
spent telling stories. We talked about what new is happening in our lives,
and some stories I've heard dozens of times. Some , Dad loves to count
them again and again . others I ask you to do so . " " But in your case ," he
remarked , "I think you do not demand much effort to hear about
someone's life that just met. " "It is true," he said. " If I have some time, I
ask you to tell me about his life, because I know that during that while the
conversation will focus entirely on him, their interests, their dreams, their
disappointments , their questions , their hopes, their itinerary. Knowing a
person's life is a great way to connect with her. Remember your story and
building on it is the best way to develop a strong relationship. " For
example , the other day I took a taxi from the airport to San Diego
Coronado. And I talked to the driver of taxi. He said his name was Rafael .
I asked her to tell me something of his life and he said he had lived in
Coronado thirty-five years and that he had found something he had never
found anywhere else : living in community. Meets every afternoon with
friends in a local market where they talk and have fun. It felt so excited
that I had asked about him inviting ended market . " This shows the great
connection that one can do in a short time with just ask people about of
their lives. Imagine the shock when you remind them to one aspect of its
history ; you can re- connect easily with them.
reminds me ... " Tell the person you are speaking what you think you
heard. Start saying, " Let me see if I 'm understanding ." The important
thing is to pay full attention to the other person. There are many who talk
while they are thinking about what you will say when it is their turn and
are not listening. When you are paying attention entire people , will be in a
better position to take the next step .
3. REMEMBER
Some people have a knack for numbers , others for names or faces, but
almost all have the ability to remember a story. Young children 's recall .
And there are stories that have been recited and sung memory for
thousands of years . Even long stories like the Iliad and the Odyssey ,
which have about three thousand years old , were sung for three centuries
before being written . The stories are with us. A couple of years ago, the
department conferences INJOY received a letter from Ellis Brust of the
Episcopal Church St. Michael and All Angels showing us the power to
recall the history of a person. This is what The letter said :
One of my leaders in the church just opened a fast food business in the
small town of Gilmer, east Texas . Partnered with two other men of the
church and have committed to run the business under the principles
Christians. Ago as three or four years I took this head to listen to John at
one of his lectures . later friend remembered the story of Nordstrom
( about how their employees made an extra effort) that John told this time .
He has tried to train their employees using these principles. During the
first week of being open to the public , he overheard two old ladies talking
about of gaseous offered . One of them was disappointed because there
was Dr. Pepper diet . He spoke with lady knew he was diabetic and
preferred diet soda Dr. Pepper over the others, so I got into his car , went
to a " Seven Eleven " ( small convenience store ) , bought a six pack diet
Dr. Pepper , returned your business and offered the elderly your favorite
drink in a glass with ice. And I always said there would be a Dr. Pepper
diet box in the fridge with your name and return whenever you only have
to tell the dependent on its name and what was your favorite beverage to
give it to him . The lady, impressed, said : " Young people have been in
this lifetime. And I know many people who will hear what you did for me
today. Thanks , we will be repeat customers. " I thought you'd like to know
how , in a minimal way, your work is changing lives. Go ahead . Was what
made the restaurant owner of something important ? Did the life of the
elderly ? No. In fact , we know if you ever talk to her again or if he knew
something of its history, but made her feel special. If the people matter to
us if we listen and try to remember their stories , we can make an impact
on them. And we can make them feel like a million dollars.
I saw John on the sidewalk of Seattle airport and I went over to pick it up .
After taking part in his suitcase back of Jeep , got in the car and we left.
We had dinner before going to the commitment we had. After a few
minutes of catching up , we reached the hotel. When we passed through
the lobby , John said, " A time , I want to tell a story. " He led me down a
corridor until we reached a meeting room . " This place is very special to
me ," he explained . He said the seat was at the end of the conference table
. "I was sitting in that seat when ISS was becoming the company it is
today." John was referring to one of their organizations. He pointed out
every seat and told me who had been sitting in them . Then I explained the
whole process of what happened that day. He told me how he had flown to
Seattle to ask the advice of a business executive and how his dream of
helping pastors to raise money to expand their churches had grown from a
vision to a reality ; also told me that he had hired that business leader so he
could help churches nationwide. The way he told me made it easy to
visualize what happened and feel their enthusiasm . " I tell you, Les, back
to where something good happened always renews gratitude. " The lesson
of this story is stuck in me. John told me eight years ago and still
remember it vividly. In fact, I cannot stop thinking about it every time I
pass that hotel. At that time, it was an important connection point between
John and me. He included me in a private part of his life , sharing with me
his heart, your dreams and your personal history. It made me feel good.
Still does. As a communicator , I am always posting how people talk in
public. John always has a good story to tell , whether in front of an
audience or individually, and uses many stories when communicating . So
I asked him why he did it . "It's easy ," she said . " The stories are ; the
principles are . " "If you want people to remember what you said, tells a
story. " He added: " Let me tell you something else. It took me a while to
learn the lesson about using stories in my writing . Since I am a person
who likes to get down to business , I used to teach principles without
many anecdotes , but a friend convinced me that change style. And it's
been the biggest difference for my readers . As a writer, one has to wonder
: " The reader will turn the page? " Most likely, yes, if I am using a good
story . " I have not met a person who does not enjoy a good story. That's
one of the reasons why which the narrators have both magnetism !
JOHN ... A MOMENT WITH TEACHING STYLE MAXWELL
In the fall of 1999 , Margaret , some friends and I visited the village of
Jonesborough, Tennessee. More than seven thousand people from around
the country, many making a big spending, came to sit for several hours on
a sheets, or on folding chairs , sometimes in the rain. Why? Because they
wanted to attend the " National Festival Annual storytelling . " We note
narrator after narrator enthrall listeners . The stories were different , sad,
happy , funny , sentimental , historical and fictional , mystical . Some had
a great message ; others were just entertainment . but all the stories and the
storytellers had one thing in common : The power to captivate listeners .
At the end of the conference , my friends and I talk about why these were
so effective storytelling .
Who were the traits that made them so successful ' Here I present a list of
the things we discovered ? : Excitement . They enjoyed what they were
doing and expressed with taste and vitality. Animation. Presentations
supported with highly dynamic facial expressions and gestures. Audience
participation . Almost all involved the audience in a way or another.
They were asked to sing , which applaud , to repeat phrases or utilize sign
language .
Spontaneity . Responded spontaneously to his listeners .
Memorization. Told stories without using any paper allowing them to
make eye contact with the audience.
this " generating activity " and is linked consequently to a larger personal
growth and better health fsica.2
To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...
Forget: Scarcity ; rather , focus on abundance.
Inquire: Who can I help without expecting anything in return ?
do it: Make a point of being kind and generous to a specific person.
Remember: When you are doing something good for others , he is doing a
greater good to yourself.
John tells the story of how he used to memorize the names of people who
attended his church when he was pastor of Skyline Wesleyan Church in
San Diego , California. A visitation made them the following proposition :
If left someone to photograph the Sunday after the service , promised
learned their names to the following Sunday. John did this until he
finished his work with the church in 1995. Fulfilling its promise, could be
learned the names of more than two thousand two hundred. In the summer
of 2004, the Skyline Church celebrated its fiftieth anniversary and John
and his wife Margaret were to participate in the celebration. John told me
that day [p 154] attended by thousands of people , many of which had not
been seen for years. Fortunately , everyone wore a name tag . "But when I
approached a couple , "she said , " the husband put his hand on the label.
When I called him by name he smiled and said, " I just wanted to see if I
still remembered our names . '" " That does not surprise me ," he said, "
but it strikes me ." John replied , "You know ? At fifty- seven is not so
easy , but still I try to learn me names . " The name of a person is his sign
to the world , more intimate and distinctive possession . I have always
admired the ability of John . In fact, it has inspired me to work as a teacher
to learn me the names of hundreds of students who come to my classes
each semester in college. Why I do? Because I know the name of a person
is his sign to the world , more intimate and distinctive possession . And
when you remember the name of a person , it makes you feel like a million
dollars.
A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
The grandfather of all skills books was published in 1937. It was a success
overnight to the point that it sold more than fifteen million copies. Speak
of the book How to Win Friends and Influence People ( How win friends
and influence people ) Dale Carnegie. What made that book was so
My friend Jerry Lucas, who is known as the " Doctor Memory" has
dedicated his life, after his great career in the NBA, to assist school
children and adults for that improve their memory through a variety of
innovative techniques. One is the method called 'SAVE' ( Save, which
means "save" or "Save" is the word in the English language is used for
storing information on a computer. N. of Trad . ) . It works this way :
S ( Say the name) Say the name of the person at least three times in the
conversation.
A ( Ask) Ask a question about the name of that person ( for example , how
do you spell it? )
V ( Visualize ) Visualize a physical or character trait of the person .
E ( End) Complete the conversation by mentioning the name of the
person.
Several years ago Jerry showed how useful this method was when he
remembered the names of all persons at the hearing of the program The
Tonight Show ( a television very famous in the United States. N. of
Trad . ) . I think it can also help you remember names and last names of
people you know .
can help each other find with people. Introduce the person whose name
recalls the person whose name you do not remember ; It is likely that the
presented say their names. Or maybe you can agree with your friend in
advance to help each other. My wife and I do that. When we are presenting
, Margaret knows that if I do not show him to that person 's name because
I'm not sure or do not remember his name. She quickly introduces herself
to make the other person say his name. When all else fails , just say " I'm
sorry; I remember you but I'm afraid I forgot his name. " once that the
person has given his name again , use the SAVE method to make it less
prone to forget the future .
DO NOT FEEL SO BAD IF YOU FORGET A NAME
If you strive , achieve gradually remember the name of the people .
However, do not be too hard yourself when you are wrong . That
happened to me recently with a couple named Lake. One of the things I do
when I learn a name, the name is associated with a mental image . When I
was introduced to the Lake, immediately made a mental image of a lake as
Lake translated into Spanish means lake and thought in Hargus Lake
where I grew up . A few days later when again, I made a mistake by asking
, "How are the Hargus ? ' gentlemen will sometimes make mistakes .
much on a vision of Occasionally they passed over the people , but John
also helped me with that. And he sees people as if they all had the highest
scores to be obtained , he always finds the best in every one . And love to
help develop those strengths . John really put me on the road to victory.
When Kevin was four years with the company , John offered him the
position of president of INJOY something too big for a " soldier " who had
not yet reached thirty . But that's what can happen when you point out the
strengths of people and gives them the necessary stimulus .
A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
Often people make a mistake in your personal development when they
focus too much on their weaknesses. As a result , spend too much time
fixing their weaknesses instead of maximizing their points strong .
Likewise , it is a mistake to focus on the weaknesses of others. The selfproclaimed " exper80 cough " that may signal bad of others never won
people . Most people simply avoid them. Rather, we should focus on
discovering the strengths of people and point them out. This is why :
POINTING THE STRESSES THE STRONG AREAS OF SPECIAL
GUESTS
Most people have strengths that are rarely used. They can be on the job
skills , knowledge, general abilities , personality traits or other attributes. I
once read an interesting fact based on research that said that each of us can
do at least one thing better than another ten mil. Think about it! You have
a talent that cannot be matched by any in your town or neighborhood ... or
your college or company or industry where he works. Have you found that
talent? If so, you probably already go way to find the purpose of your life.
Otherwise so, would not you like to have someone come and is noted ?
How would you feel with that person ? I assure you I would be very
grateful. Why do not you try to be that kind of person for someone else ?
If you do , you may be helping others to discover for why God created .
MOTIVATED PEOPLE FEEL STRONG IN YOUR AREA
I once read a survey that asked workers in the United States where it was
found that almost 85 % of respondents said they could work harder at their
jobs. More than half of them said that could even double their
effectiveness if they wished. Why? Because very few people are working
on their strengths . Are you excited if asked to work on your weak areas ?
At least I do not. Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton have done a
lot of research in this field. To learn more , you suggest you read the book
they wrote : Now , Discover Your Strengths ( Discover your strengths ) .
but should know this: When you work using your strengths , not much
external motivation you need . If people suffer for doing the work using
their weak areas and are reassigned to work on your strengths , observe
how rapidly increase their motivation , enthusiasm and productivity.
PEOPLE CAN FILE IF MORE ARE STRONG IN YOUR AREA
I am often asked what is the key of success. I tell you, can be attributed to
three things:
( 1) The goodness God ;
( 2) The great people around me ; and
( 3) The ability to keep me strong area .
It took five years to find out what my strengths , but over the years have
focused attention on less and less stuff. The law of specialization in the
book The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork states: " Each player has a
place to give their best . " That place is their "strong area" . I do serve to
make many things, but There are four that I can do very well. And as far as
possible, try to keep doing those things . As a leader and a boss, try to help
others to do the same. Find their strong areas and that are located there as
much as possible. A successful person finds a place for herself , but a
leader winner is the right place for others . How do I do that ? A successful
person finds a place for herself , but a winning leader finds the right place
for others. First , I look for the best in others. Anyone can see the
weaknesses , errors and imperfections in other . For that you need not have
a special ability. See the good things , that it is difficult. In Player Review
Baseball Hall of Famer Reggie Jackson, the top leaders of the majors have
this ability . He said: "A great coach has a special ability to make players
think they are better than they really are . It forces you to have a good
opinion of you . You do know you believe in your ability . It makes you
more than you think you can give. And once you convince you how good
you really are , you'll never want to play in less than your potential "level .
That's true in all areas of life: business , parenting , marriage ,ministry, etc.
. Look no errors others look their best . Second, I speak. You may think the
best of others, but if it does not say, do not do to help. Always I believe
that all people have a " seed of success" within them. Most never find it
and that fail to achieve their potential. Often I look at a person and wonder
, "What is your seed of success? " When I find out , I say . Then fertilized
with encouragement and timely irrigation . You can do the same .
likely to use them, to show them and hold on to them as a key component
of its identidad.
To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...
Forget : From the weaknesses of others.
ask yourself: What this guy does exceptionally well ?
Do this : Each day this week , tell every person you see what strengths
you see in them are .
Remember: Every person in the world has a seed of success.
God is with you , who can oppose it ? ' Do all they are stronger than God?
Oh , "be not weary in well-doing ! " Continue in the name of God and in
the power of His strength , until even ( the vilest American slavery ever to
be under the sun ) vanishes in His power ... Who that has guided his
youth , continue strengthening it in this and all things, is the prayer of ,
Your affectionate servant ,
J. Wesley
"Four days later" recalled John , " Wesley died . And once again ,
Wilberforce was defeated when the Parliament voted to abolish slavery.
Finally , Wilberforce managed to win , but in the inter83 medium, was
vilified and faced countless frustrations. Their opponents came to
challenge him to a duel and tried to kill him . " John continued: " More
than once he was tempted to stop fighting , but every time I wanted to
discouragement Dam it, went to Wesley 's letter . And every time I read it ,
it was like the first time. He never failed to give encouragement and forces
. "If you do not believe in the power of the written encouraging after
reading this note ," John said, " probably never believe . " I can assure you
that John believes in that power. I have received many notes of
encouragement from you for years and still I keep many of them. They
may not have the historical value of the note by Wesley to Wilberforce ,
but for me are invaluable .
A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
If you have not guessed, I 'm a real history buff . Let me tell you the rest of
the story : In 1806 , after a tireless work 20 years , Wilberforce finally got
the amendment to abolish the slave trade was passed by Parliament.
Twenty-eight years later, on July 31, 1834 , slavery became illegal
said about baseball , but let your Uncle John show you something .
Baseball is a very simple game. " He asks me, " What do you mean ? "
I say, ' Just do one thing. The next time you touch hit every time you
launch the Butch ball, you just have to swing the bat. That's all you have
to do. Butch throws the ball; you swing your bat . Butch throws the ball;
you swing your bat . " He looks at me and says, ' That's all I have to do ? "
I say , "That 's it. Do not worry about hitting the ball ; just swinging the
bat. " And when you smile draws on his face and says, ' I can do that . " I
say , "Sure you can ! Consume them , boy . " The next time you hit Eric
touched , Butch Eric threw the ball and swung the bat. The ball passed
over him . In fact, as late hit the ball was already in the catcher's mitt . I
started clapping while saying : "Excellent batting , Eric, excellent batting ,
that is! Butch Every time you throw the ball , swinging the bat . " Butch
threw the ball ; Eric swung his bat. Butch threw the ball ; Eric swung his
bat again. Finally , we eliminated the third strike . I stood shouting, " Eric
McCullogh , deleted that was the best I've seen in life. All right ! " At that
time , the coach looked into the stands and gave me an angry look . The
other parents were not happy . Margaret said, " Honey, I 'm in the car and
read a book." But I did not care , because that after batting , Eric was
smiling. Now, to be honest , I did not think Eric out for a homer that day.
Moreover, in the Little League Baseball, there is no such thing as a hit. If
there is any kind of contact , not that I hit the bat to the ball ; this is the
ball has hit the bat. And there's one thing I know: if the ball hits the bat ,
does not go far ; just something . And in Little League Baseball , if the ball
is inside the box , you do not stop running . Well, did not think it would
happen , but it happened. The third time he went to bat , Butch threw the
ball , Eric swung his bat and the ball hit the bat. There was a strong hit. It
was a hollow sound . As soon as that the ball was in the area, stepped off
the platform and ran to first base , saying, "Eric , keep running , keep
running ! " While Eric went through first base, I ran as fast as I could to
third base as he yelled : "Come on Eric , come on! " Eric got past third
base and together we reached ' home '. Eric got up , shook the dust from
his uniform , I did the same with the bag; and when we were leaving the
field , the coach looked at me and smiled . That day we went to Eric's
house . His parents had to work so they could not see the game ; but We
told him . There I was in the middle of the room , pretending to be Butch
and Eric was near the piano there as if he were batting pad . I made the
shot ; he hit . He ran around the bases and threw for be under the piano
bench . All got up and gave a standing ovation. That day , Eric began his
career in Little League Baseball. Eric is now an adult , but when I was
graduating from high school , came to visit . He said, " Uncle John , I have
something very exciting to tell you. Do you remember the first baseball
game of the Little League ? " "Of course I remember ," I said . And we
made memories of that game. " I've never forgotten ," Eric said . " I just
wanted to tell you that this year going to college with a scholarship
baseball . " You do not have to be rich , famous or talented to help others
succeed , you only need to give the best of themselves and worry about
them. And you should know this: When you have the opportunity to help
someone succeed , you will be at life friend of that person.
Helping someone to succeed is one of the best feelings in the world. I have
not met anyone so far not want to succeed. And everyone I know who
have made an effort to help others have told me that it has been the most
rewarding of their lives. As the poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said, " One of
the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can try to help
another without helping himself estarse
If you want to help others succeed , follow these steps:
BELIEVE IN PEOPLE
After a conference in Toledo, a man came up and asked me a question :
"How can I get results amazing of a person ? "" Please incredible
expectations that person "was response. If you do not believe in people,
you are unlikely to be doing something to help them succeed . people
know when someone does not believe in them because they can see
through the pretense and false pats, but when know that you believe in
them , the magic starts to happen. Told by the writer John Spalding is
true : " Those who believe in our ability do more than stimulate . They
create an atmosphere for us in that facilitates success. "
GIVE THEM TO PEOPLE HOPE
A reporter asked the Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who directed
Britain during difficult moments of World War II , what was the weapon
which had its powerful country against the regime Nazi . Without
pausing , Churchill said, " The most powerful weapon which England has
always had is
hope. " Esperanza is one of the most powerful and dynamic words of
Spanish. It gives us energy to continue Later in the most difficult moments
and power fills us with excitement and anticipation to look to the future .
It is said that a person can live forty days without food, four days without
water, four minutes without air , but only four seconds without hope. If
you want to help people succeed , it must become a supplier hope.
FOCUS ON THE PROCESS , NOT ONLY IN THE WIN
Many of us want to succeed so much that we forget what it takes to get
there. We are like the child who when playing chess with his grandfather
and lost, says, "Oh no! Again ! Grandpa, you always win! " "What can I
do, I lose on purpose? " Replied the old man. " You'll never learn if you do
that ." In the Here's how we feel many times, but let's be honest . What is
more satisfying triumph : easy or it cost us jobs ? When you help someone
succeed , not regale her goal , even if it is in your power to do so. Help
him succeed. If it helps you in the process , he will not be giving the
victory but you'll be giving the means to have additional victories in the
future. You can succeed again and again . And the only thing sweeter
success is success many times.
UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN HELP OTHERS SUCCEED , YOU
ALSO TRIUMPHS
In 1984 , Lou Whittaker led the first all- American group to the summit of
Mount Everest. After several months of strenuous effort , five members of
the [p 179] team who reached the last camp was twenty-seven thousand
feet . I had yet two thousand more when they met in the store. Whittaker
had to make a difficult decision: He knew how motivated they were five
climbers to reach the highest point of planet . However, two of them
would have to return to the previous camp , carry food , water and oxygen
to then return to where the others were. The problem was that after this
work to support these two climbers they would no longer have the
necessary condition to reach the top of Mt. The others would be in store a
day enjoying water, breathing oxygen and getting ready to climb to the top
the next day. The first decision was to stay in Whittaker took camp at
twenty thousand feet to coordinate team activities . The following was sent
to the two strongest climbers to collect supplies ; that was more difficult
decision. The two weakest climbers would rest , renew their strength and
receive the glory of the summit. When asked why not assigned himself to
reach the summit , his answer showed his understanding for people and
the strength of his leadership. He said: " My job was to make others reach
the top ." Whittaker knew that when people make the right decisions to
help a team reach its goal, everyone benefits . Never wasted when others
succeed.
college you went to debug view . He taught me the steps you should take
and how could he have success. George , a friend of mine helped me
succeed teaching me how to start and run a pro89 radio program . Janice ,
publicist , help me succeed every time I get an interview on national
television to talk to any of my books. Kevin , another friend helped me by
showing me how to develop a successful significant mission statement of
life. Of course , John has also helped me to win race from various angles.
We all like to win ; and no one succeeds without help. More than three
decades ago, he did some research examining the types of people that
related well with others. The study was done with 268 sophomores at
Harvard , considered " the best and talented "and lasted forty years.
Among the findings was the fact that men emotionally recognized that a
good healthy life was not the absence of problems but the way in which
the individual chose to respond to these problems. In other words, these
men saw themselves as winners and helping others to succeed despite their
circumstances. It was not surprising that also had a communication much
more significant than others.
To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...
Forget : To see life as a competition where you have to beat all if you
want to succeed.
ask yourself: Who could help you succeed and how to do it?
Do this : Make a game plan . Design a course that carries both road
victory.
Remember: Once you help someone succeed , you will have a friend for
life.
A WORD OF CONCLUSION
PART OF JOHN
Life I wanted people to learn to win others . To achieve this , all that is
needed is believe in people and have a sincere desire to help . I hope that
after reading this book, you also make this. I also hope you do I endorse
the practices that Les and I have shown . If you have already tried some ,
surely have realized that really work. If you want to perfect them , then I
suggest you do the this: Hold a twelve-week program to win people . After
start , select two of the practices and run them every day for a full week.
By doing so , you will be engaging in a process that will ...
1. Being aware of how these principles work .
2. Learn the basics of how to do it .
3. Practicing each until perfect .
4. Turn them into a habit.
You probably will not feel comfortable to start running some of them, but
there is no that cannot master. And of course, keep adding other practices
that learns by itself alone or during the process. All Forms will never
learn too .
My wish: May you continue earning people by helping them succeed.