Академический Документы
Профессиональный Документы
Культура Документы
by
Michele L. Williams
May 2012
Dissertation written by
Michele L. Williams
B.A., Malone University, 1992
M.A., Malone University, 1997
Ph.D., Kent State University, 2012
Approved by
________________________________________________________________________
Nichole Egbert, Ph.D., Chair, Doctoral Dissertation Committee
________________________________________________________________________
Mei-Chen Lin, Ph.D., Co-Chair, Doctoral Dissertation Committee
________________________________________________________________________
Jeffrey Child, Ph.D., Member, Doctoral Dissertation Committee
________________________________________________________________________
Kristen Mickelson, Ph.D., Member, Doctoral Dissertation Committee
Accepted by
________________________________________________________________________
Paul Haridakis, Ph.D., Director, School of Communication Studies
________________________________________________________________________
Stanley Wearden, Ph.D., Dean, College of Communication and Information
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER
I. Introduction to the Study..1
Statement of Problem...... 1
Purpose of Study................. 9
Significance of Study ........10
II. Literature Review..11
Conceptualization of Romantic Love11
Historical Foundation.12
Caritas Synthesis...12
Biological Approach.....13
Sociological Approach..14
Modern Conceptualizations of Love..15
Lees Love Styles..15
Z Rubins Love vs. Liking....15
Sternbergs Triangular Theory of Love16
Marstons Ways of Loving...17
Key Constructs of Romantic Love17
Intimacy18
Passion.18
Communication of Romantic Love....20
Intimacy ... 20
Verbal Communication .... 21
Kinesics .... 23
Time Together ...... 24
Emotional Support ... 26
Affectionate Touch .. 27
Passionate Communication .. 30
iii
Future Directions.133
APPENDICES
Appendix A: Romantic Love Communication Scale...............................138
Appendix B: Hatfield Global Measure of Equity
Sprecher Global Measure of Equity...142
Appendix C: Modified Hatfield Global Measure of Equity
Modified Sprecher Global Measure of Equity...143
Appendix D: Quality Marital Scale.144
Appendix E: Scale of Sexual Satisfaction...145
Appendix F: Interpersonal Communication Satisfaction Inventory146
Appendix G: Inter-Item Correlation Matrix for Spouses Use................147
Appendix H: Inter-Item Correlation Matrix for Individuals Use...........161
REFERENCES175
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TABLES
Table
1
Final Factor Loadings for Retained Romantic Love Communication Behaviors (RLCB):
Partners Use............................................................................... 91
Final Factor Loadings for Retained Romantic Love Communication Behaviors (RLCB):
Individuals Use........................... ....................................... 94
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Acknowledgments
I would like to thank my husband who has provided support, encouragement, and
patience as I pursued my doctorate degree. I would also like to thank my parents who
instilled in me the importance of education. Finally, I would like to thank my advisors
and committee members for providing direction for this study.
viii
Chapter I
Statement of Problem
Strong communication skills are central to sustaining satisfying romantic
relationships. Many couples are not satisfied, and, therefore, are always searching for
ways to communicate better as evidenced by the number of magazine articles, books, and
marriage seminars devoted to the topic, as well as the hundreds of thousands of couples
who seek marriage counseling every year (Gilbert, 2005). According to Parrott and
Parrott (2004), psychologist and marriage and family therapist respectively, the most
common problem couples experience is a breakdown in communication. When
communication is not effective, satisfaction declines. Communication, more than any
other aspect of your relationship, can either buoy relational intimacy or be the deadweight
of its demise (p. 30). Several scholars have provided support for the idea that poor
communication skills precede dissatisfaction (Markman, 1981; Markman, Duncan,
Storaasli, & Howes, 1987).
Because dissatisfying relationships are distressing, many individuals seek
dissolution to the relationship. Although divorce rates have steadily declined since the
1980s when they peaked at 53%, divorce still remains a significant problem today.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: National Vital Statistics
Report (2007), the provisional estimate of divorces for the year 2007 from the National
Center for Health Statistics was projected to be 36%. According to the Americans for
2
Divorce Reform website (2005, para. 4), one of the most common reasons for divorce is
poor communication, once again underscoring the importance of strong communication
skills.
Researchers have sought to make sense out of the reasons relationships fail and
offer insights to relationship problems (e.g. Baxter & Bullis, 1986; Patterson & OHair,
1992). Given the devastating direct and social effects of divorce, it is important to
understand the contributing factors of divorce in an effort to prevent it, as well as define
the elements that contribute to a lifetime of marital happiness. As poor communication is
listed as one of the top reasons for divorce, it is vital to learn how to communicate better
with ones mate.
Many scholars believe that learning how to communicate well is the key to having
satisfying relationships (e.g. Burleson & Denton, 1997; Fowers, 1993). However,
perhaps the key to satisfying relationships goes beyond just the strength of ones
communication skills. Research has also pointed to the idea that an equitable balance of
what each partner is putting into the relationship (costs) as well as getting out of it
(rewards) is a key to having satisfying relationships as well (e.g. Walster, Walster, &
Berscheid, 1978, Van Yperen & Buunk, 1990). If the relationship is out of balance, in
other words, one partner is giving or receiving more than the other, the ratios are not in
balance and the partners will feel either overbenefited or underbenefited in the
relationship (e.g. Utne, Hatfield, Traupmann, & Greenberger, 1984; Walster et al., 1978).
According to Sprecher (1986), people in inequitable relationships experience a great
amount of distress, which can negatively impact the relationship.
3
The importance of an equitable balance in relationships is not something new.
Marriage therapists have been some of the strongest proponents of the equity perspective.
For example, Sager (1976) values using marriage contracts when working with couples;
the idea of individual marriage contracts has been extremely useful. The individual
marriage contracts refer to ones obligations within the marriage and the benefits one
expects to receive. The most important aspect of these contracts is their reciprocal nature.
What each partner expects to give and what each expects to receive from his/her spouse
in exchange is crucial. Although individuals on some level are probably aware of the
expectations they hold within a marital relationship, they may not realize that their
attempts to fulfill their partners needs are based on the covert assumption that their needs
will be fulfilled in return. If ones significant needs are not fulfilled, the relationship has
lost its equitable balance and the hurt partner will be dissatisfied with the relationship and
may react with rage, injury, depression, or withdrawal, thus, promoting marital discord.
If, on the other hand, ones needs are fulfilled, and the relationship is equitable, his/her
partner should be satisfied with the relationship.
Much has been discussed in regard to satisfying relationships; however,
satisfaction can be viewed from many different perspectives. For example, in romantic
relationships, satisfaction can be viewed in terms of Relational Satisfaction, Sexual
Satisfaction, and Communication Satisfaction. According to Vangelisti (2002), Relational
Satisfaction has been the predominant outcome variable for many interpersonal
communication researchers studying romantic relationships, as both researchers and the
general public want to know what makes a happy marriage. Previous research has
provided ample support for the notion that an equitable relationship is clearly associated
4
with relational and marital satisfaction; the more equitable a relationship is perceived to
be, the more satisfied one is with the relationship (e.g. Utne et al., 1984; Walster et al.,
1978). Van Yperen and Buunk determined that the correlation was one of cause and
effect; equity was the cause and satisfaction was the result rather than vice versa.
In addition to Relational Satisfaction, another aspect of satisfaction in romantic
relationships is Sexual Satisfaction. According to Sprecher and Cate (2004), Sexual
Satisfaction is generally defined as the degree to which an individual is satisfied or
happy with the sexual aspect of his or her relationship (p. 236). Research in this area has
provided insights as to the specific aspects of sex that lead to Sexual Satisfaction. For
example, according to Sprecher and Cate, frequency of sexual behavior, variety in sexual
behavior, orgasmic frequency and consistency, and effective communication about sexual
issues (e.g. sexual initiations and responses to initiations) all contribute to Sexual
Satisfaction. Equitable considerations are also relative to Sexual Satisfaction because the
behaviors listed above can be considered rewards and costs within the equity framework.
When partners perceive an inequity in the frequency or quality of sexual initiations
and/or positive responses to the initiations, for example, it may lead to lower Sexual
Satisfaction (Hatfield, Utne, & Traupmann, 1979). Equitable considerations in other areas
of the relationship also have an effect on sexual behavior. For example, studies have
shown that the frequency of sexual activity is higher when partners perceive an equitable
exchange of communication, emotional investment, material investment, sexual and
emotional fidelity, and degree of arousal during sexual activity (Lawrance & Byers,
1995; Peplau, Z. Rubin, & Hill, 1977; Regan & Sprecher, 1995; Walster, Walster, &
Traupmann, 1978).
5
Third, satisfaction can be viewed in romantic relationships from a
Communication Satisfaction perspective. Key components to Communication
Satisfaction include the perception that one is understood by his/her partner and the
perception that the communication interaction is successful (Anderson & EmmersSommer, 2006; Cahn, 1983). In addition, Communication Satisfaction has been shown to
contribute to relationship development (Hecht, 1978), relational closeness, and Relational
Satisfaction (Emmers-Sommer, 2004). Equitability also plays a role in Communication
Satisfaction. Although not studied from a romantic relationship perspective, research in
father-daughter relationships showed a significantly higher level of Communication
Satisfaction in equitable father-daughter relationships than inequitable relationships
(Punyanunt-Carter, 2008). Equitability in the use of relational maintenance behaviors has
also been positively correlated to Communication Satisfaction in friends with benefits
relationships (Goodboy & Myers, 2008).
One way for couples to improve their relational, sexual, and communication
satisfaction is to learn how to communicate their love for one another effectively and
equitably. Research has identified several behaviors that communicate romantic love and
linked them to these types of satisfaction. For example, research has shown that verbal
communication (e.g. Bruess & Pearson, 1993; Hendrick, 1981; Tucker & Aron, 1993),
time together (e.g. Duck & Pittman, 1994; Reissman, Aron, & Bergen, 1993), emotional
support (Acitelli & Antonucci, 1994; Xu & Burleson, 2004), affectionate touch
(Gulledge, Gulledge, & Stahmann, 2003), romantic gestures (e.g. Beatty, Kahle, &
Homer, 1991; Sherry, 1983), and sex (e.g. Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Cupach &
Comstock, 1990; Sprecher & Cate, 2004) all lead to various aspects of satisfaction.
6
Despite the importance of communicating ones love to ones mate, limited
research has been conducted on the topic. Researchers have provided various typologies
of love (Lee, 1988; Marston, Hecht, & Robers, 1987), identified the elements of love
(Beach & Tesser, 1988; Z. Rubin 1970, 1973; Sternberg, 1986) and offered practical
means by which to maintain relationships (Canary & Stafford 2001; Stafford & Canary,
1991; Stafford, Dainton, & Haas, 2000). Although the study of relationship maintenance
behaviors has been the predominant area of study in regard to how couples communicate
love and has provided useful insights as to how couples maintain their relationship, more
research is needed for a variety of reasons.
First, a substantial amount of research (e.g. Beatty et al., 1991; Blumstein &
Schwartz, 1983; Bruess & Pearson, 1993; Cupach & Comstock, 1990; Duck & Pittman,
1994; Gulledge et al., 2003; Marston, Hechtt, Manke, McDaniel, & Reeder, 1998;
Prentice, Briggs, & Bradley, 1983; Sherry, 1983; Sprecher & Cate, 2004) has shown that
couples utilize many other behaviors to communicate their love that are not reflected in
the relational maintenance typology, thus, providing support for the notion that relational
maintenance behaviors are not exhaustive. Because these behaviors (i.e. verbal
communication, time together, emotional support, affectionate touch, romantic gestures,
and sex) are used in part to communicate romantic love to ones partner, for the purposes
of this study, these behaviors will be referred to as romantic love communication
behaviors (i.e., RLCB). Second, the very definition of maintenance implies to keep
something in a certain state. Marriages, however, are not static; they experience
numerous changes throughout the couples life together. Therefore, behaviors that
function more than just to maintain a relationship need to be analyzed to reflect the
7
ever-changing nature of relationships. Romantic love communication behaviors have the
capacity to go beyond just maintaining the status quo by tapping into the heartfelt love
for another that propels the relationship to another level. Third, the focus of relational
maintenance behaviors seems somewhat void of passionate love (Lee, 1988; Z. Rubin,
1970; Sternberg, 1986). Passion, as Hendrick and Hendrick (1992) noted, is the
psychological and physical arousal aspect of eros love, which represents the cognitive
and physiological aspects of love respectively. In this study, romantic love
communication behaviors attempt to capture this aspect of love.
Several researchers have noted the importance of studying the passionate (Eros)
dimension of love. For example, Traupmann and Hatfield (1981) found that there was a
high level of passionate love, even among people who had been married for twenty years
or more. In addition, passion has emerged in several lines of research such as St.
Augustine and St. Thomass Caritas Synthesis (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992), Singers
(1987) courtly love, Lees (1988) Eros style of loving, and Sternbergs (1986) Triangular
Theory of Love. Lastly, although relational maintenance behaviors have been analyzed
from an equity perspective (e.g. Canary & Stafford, 1992, 1993, 2001; Dainton, 2003), no
one has ever used equity to analyze the behaviors couples utilize to communicate
romantic love to one another. Equitable considerations of romantic love communication
behavior usage could be valuable in explaining and predicting relational, sexual, and
communication satisfaction in marital relationships.
Perhaps one of the problems with conducting research on romantic love is the
difficulty in understanding and conceptualizing what exactly romantic love is. The
existing research on love has not used a consistent definition for romantic love, nor have
8
the key constructs found in romantic love been identified. Many scholars have argued
that love is such an elusive entity that providing a definition capturing all of its multifaceted dimensions has been nearly impossible. For example, Beach and Tesser (1988)
concluded that Love is a construct with meanings that vary with the individual, and it
seems unlikely that any model will adequately capture the full range of popular usage
(p. 351). Marston et al. (1987) contended, The transcendent and subjective nature of
romantic love seems to defy verbal expression, let alone rational explanation (p. 388)
and that there is no single manner of conceptualizing love (p. 404). However, if
research in this area is to be conducted, romantic love must be conceptualized so that
specific behaviors that relate to the key constructs in the definition can be identified as
the means by which romantic love is communicated.
Another problem in the research of romantic love is that the early published work
is largely atheoretical (e.g., Bell, Daly, & Gonzalez, 1987; Dainton & Stafford, 1993;
Dindia, 1994). In the past two decades, theoretical development has increased,
particularly in the area of relational maintenance behaviors (Canary & Stafford, 1992,
1993, 2001; Dainton, 2000; Ragsdale, 1996). As mentioned previously, although these
behaviors are not solely devoted to the type of behaviors that communicate romantic
love, they provide the closest basis of comparison. Of the theories tested to explain
relational maintenance behavior usage, Equity theory provided one of the most useful
explanations and predictions of relational maintenance behavior use (Canary & Stafford,
1992, 1993, 2001). As Canary and Stafford (2007) contend, the reason is quite simple;
most people want to be treated fairly and treat others in a similar manner.
9
Purpose of Study
The purpose of this study is to address the conceptualization and measurement
problems outlined above. First, an integrative review of the conceptualizations of
romantic love that have emerged throughout history will be performed. The definitions,
theories, constructs, models, and common linkages will be identified that will provide a
useful conceptualization of romantic love for this study.
Second, romantic love taxonomy will be developed that identifies the specific
behaviors that couples enact to communicate their romantic love to their mate. Studies
have independently identified specific behaviors that couples utilize to communicate
romantic love such as verbal communication (e.g. Bruess & Pearson, 1993; Hendrick,
1981; Tucker & Aron, 1993), time together (e.g. Duck & Pittman, 1994; Reissman, Aron,
& Bergen, 1993), emotional support (Acitelli & Antonucci, 1994; Xu & Burleson, 2004),
affectionate touch (Gulledge, Gulledge, & Stahmann, 2003), romantic gestures (e.g.
Beatty, Kahle, & Homer, 1991; Sherry, 1983), and sex (e.g. Blumstein & Schwartz,
1983; Cupach & Comstock, 1990; Sprecher & Cate, 2004). Relational scholars, however,
have not provided a comprehensive taxonomy of these behaviors. A preliminary analysis
of a scale based on the taxonomy will measure the self-reported and partners perception
of romantic communication behavior usage, allowing the advancement of theoretical
research in the area of romantic love.
Finally, the third purpose of this study is to explore romantic love communication
behaviors and their effect on satisfaction using the Equity theory as the framework.
Responses to inequity, being overbenefited or underbenefited, and their effect on
10
satisfaction will also be examined. Three specific aspects of satisfaction will be focused
upon: Relational Satisfaction, Sexual Satisfaction, and Communication Satisfaction.
Significance of Study
This study is significant for a number of reasons. First, it will provide a valuable
contribution to the literature on romantic love. As mentioned previously, much of the
research to date has focused on the various typologies of love, the elements of love, and
the means by which to maintain relationships. However, literature pertaining to the
actual communication of romantic love is scant. Not only will this study provide a
comprehensive typology of romantic love communication behaviors, but it will also
provide research on romantic love that is rooted in theory. The study will provide a
clearer understanding of the relationships between romantic love communication
behaviors, Equity theory, and relational outcomes (Relational Satisfaction, Sexual
Satisfaction, and Communication Satisfaction).
Second, the study is significant because it contributes practical and applicable
information that marriage counselors can use to help clients improve marital
communication. The romantic love communication behaviors will be valuable for
therapists because oftentimes one or both individuals in the marriage have difficulty
expressing and communicating love to one another. Therapists will be able to provide
clients with a concrete list of behaviors that may help to achieve that goal.
If results from the study support the idea that romantic love communication
behaviors have the potential to increase Relational Satisfaction, Sexual Satisfaction, and
Communication Satisfaction, the findings have potential to improve the quality of
marriages. Through counseling, therapists will be able to identify which romantic love
11
communication behaviors specifically contribute to an individuals feelings of
satisfaction and counsel couples to focus on those specific behaviors to express love to
their mate and thereby improve the relationship. If couples have consciously or
unconsciously withdrawn the communication of romantic love from their spouse, the
therapist can advise them to utilize the romantic love communication behaviors without
regard to the equitability of their relationship. If the results are as expected, Relational
Satisfaction, Sexual Satisfaction, and Communication Satisfaction levels for the couple
will increase. Ultimately, this study will provide useful knowledge about the
communication of romantic love that will lead to more satisfying relationships, and,
thereby, reduce the risks of marital dissatisfaction and possibly the subsequent divorce.
Chapter II
Literature Review
12
manner of conceptualizing love (p. 404). In order to conceptualize romantic love for this
study, key historical influences (theories, models, and constructs) that contribute to our
modern conceptualization of romantic love will be discussed.
Historical foundation.
Caritas Synthesis. The historical foundation for the conceptualization of romantic
love can be traced back to two theologians, St. Augustine and St. Thomas. St. Augustine
and St. Thomas worked to develop what they viewed as the ideal form of love between
humans and God. This ideal love was called Caritas Synthesis and reflected the synthesis
between Eros (romantic and passionate) and agape (selfless) love. The Caritas Synthesis
was later applied to human love and called courtly love. According to Singer (1984),
courtly love has five elements. First, love is an ideal worth striving toward. Second, love
is ennobling for both men and women. Third, love has rules that include ethical and
aesthetic dimensions. Fourth, love is intertwined with courtesy and courtship rituals, but
not necessarily marriage. And fifth, love is an intense, passionate relationship that
establishes a unity between a man and woman (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992).
Courtly love led to the Romanticism movement in the late eighteenth and early
nineteenth century. Romanticism focused on the equality of the sexes, similarities and
complementarities between partners, and sexual love as an ideal to strive for fulfillment.
These movements intertwine with what we know today as romantic love. At its idealized
best, romantic love is described by Singer (1987) as:
oneness with an alter ego, ones other self, a man or woman who would
make up ones deficiencies, respond to ones deepest inclinations, and serve as
possibly the only person with whom one could communicate fully. If the world
13
were properly attuned to the value of love, this would be the person one
married, establishing a bond that was permanent as well as ecstatically
consummatory. The sexual bond would participate in a social order constructed
out of loving relationships that united all people to one another and mankind to
nature as a whole. Since love was God, romantic lovers would be carrying out
the dictates of divinity throughout their mutual intimacy- in their sexual as well
as nonsexual oneness (p. 4).
The application of the Caritas Synthesis to human love provided a starting point
for conceptualizing romantic love. Since then, there have been primarily two main camps
from which scholars base their conceptualization of romantic love: the biological
approach and the sociological approach.
14
Acts of communication convey emotion, which provides behavioral cues and the basis
for love acts between males and females
15
Z. Rubins love vs. liking. Most scholars agree that romantic love is different
from other types of love and that it has its own unique characteristics; however, there is
significant disagreement over the exact nature of these characteristics (Berscheid, 1988).
Therefore, scholars (Beach & Tesser, 1988; Marston et al., 1987; Z. Rubin, 1970, 1973;
Sternberg, 1986) worked to identify with empirical precision the constructs that comprise
romantic love. Z. Rubins (1970, 1973) research, which is credited for beginning the
scientific study of love, differentiated between love and liking and contended that love in
the general sense is comprised of three relational elements: attachment, caring, and
intimacy. Beach and Tesser (1988) studied married couples and concluded that married
love is comprised of four components which represent an interaction of cognitions,
16
affects, and behaviors: commitment, intimacy, cohesion (sharing, closeness), and sexual
interaction.
17
Based on Sternbergs (1986) triangular theory of love, romantic love is defined as
love characterized by intimacy and passion, but not necessarily commitment.
Marstons ways of loving. Up until the 1980s love had predominantly been
studied as an emotional experience involving cognitive (attitudes, beliefs), behavioral
(action- i.e., sex), and/or physiological (feelings) responses. Communication scholars,
(Marston et al., 1987), however, contend that these researchers had largely ignored the
holistic and subjective experience of love. Therefore, their study integrated the cognitive,
behavioral, and physiological aspects of love and identified six ways in which love can
be experienced:
1. Collaborative Love- increased energy; intensified emotional response.
2. Active Love- feelings of strength
3. Intuitive Love- experienced (warmth, nervousness, loss of appetite)
4. Committed Love- being together and talking about future commitment
5. Traditional Romantic Love- feeling beautiful, confident, healthy; togetherness
6. Expressive Love- communicating (sending and receiving) love by doing things
or telling the other
Based on these categories, Marston et al. (1987) concluded that love could be
conceptualized as a way of thinking, behaving, or feeling or a combination of all three.
Key constructs of romantic love. The research on romantic love has provided
many definitions and identified numerous constructs. To provide a useful definition of
romantic love for this study, common linkages between the theories, constructs, and
18
models must be identified. Based on the existing research on love, two primary
commonalities have emerged that are both independent yet intrinsically integrated.
Intimacy. The first construct that has emerged from research is the construct of
intimacy which can be found in Singers (1987) definition of romantic love, Z. Rubins
(1970, 1973) research on love, Beach and Tesser (1988) married love, and Sternbergs
(1986) triangular theory of love. According to Hendrick and Hendrick (1992), intimacy
is a dyadically-oriented construct, that captures the human relationship aspect of the
biological approach and the we component of the sociological approach. It represents
the connectedness and closeness between two individuals and can best be thought of as
an emotional investment component. According to Sternberg (1986), it includes:
(a) desire to promote the welfare of the loved one, (b) experienced happiness
with the loved one, (c) high regard for the loved one, (d) being able to count on
the loved one in times of need, (e) mutual understanding with the loved one, (f)
sharing of ones self and ones possessions with the loved one, (g) receipt of
emotional support from the loved one, (h) giving of emotional support to the
loved one, (i) intimate communication with the loved one, and (j) valuing the
loved one in ones life (p. 121).
Passion. Second, the construct of passion has emerged in several lines of research
such as St. Augustine and St. Thomass Caritas Synthesis (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992),
Singers (1987) courtly love, Lees (1988) Eros style of loving, and Sternbergs (1986)
triangular theory of love. Hatfield (1988) defined passionate love as a state of intense
longing for union with another (p. 193). Passion, as Hendrick and Hendrick (1992)
noted, is the psychological and physical arousal aspect of Eros love, which represents the
19
cognitive and physiological aspects of love respectively. As a relationship progresses,
couples desire for union with another is acted upon through a sexual union of their
bodies. This aspect of romantic love is evidenced in the Biological Approach (Buss,
1988), Sociological Approach (Berscheid, 1988; Brown, 1987; Freud, 1963; Hendrick &
Hendrick, 2002; Regan, Kocan, & Whitlock, 1988), Romanticism, Singers (1987)
courtly love, and Beach and Tessers (1988) married love. Sex represents the behavioral
component of romantic love. It is important to note that sex does not have to be present
for romantic love to exist. The passionate, sexual desire for another, whether acted upon
or not, is, however, an integral component of romantic love.
By integrating the conceptualizations of romantic love that have emerged
throughout history in the form of definitions, theories, constructs, and models,
commonalities have been identified that will provide a useful definition of romantic love
for this study. For the purposes of this study, romantic love is defined as a passionate
affection for another based on sexual attraction that can be intimately and subjectively
experienced between a man and a woman through cognitive appraisals, emotional
feelings, physiological processes, and instrumental behaviors. The instrumental behaviors
are communicated intimately or passionately reflecting the two key constructs of
romantic love. Intimate behaviors are those that communicate an emotional
connectedness and closeness. Passionate behaviors are those that communicate a physical
desire for union with another.
Romantic love is a powerful component in relationships and prior research has
provided valuable insights to understanding its multi-faceted dimensions. Researchers
have provided various typologies of love (Lee, 1988; Marston et al., 1987) and identified
20
the elements of love (Beach & Tesser, 1988; Z. Rubin 1970, 1973; Sternberg, 1986);
however, as noted previously, research on the communication of romantic love is scant.
Also problematic is that research is fragmented not only between the psychology and
communication disciplines, but also within each discipline. To date, nowhere within
either discipline can a comprehensive review of the communication of romantic love be
found. Therefore, the following review of literature will bridge the gap between the
disciplines and provide a comprehensive review of the communication of romantic love.
The focus will be the primary constructs of romantic love, intimacy and passion, as
identified in the conceptualization of romantic love.
21
touching and attention) (p. 51). The following review of intimacy related literature is
categorized according to shared components of Sternberg and other researchers findings.
22
(1986) Triangular Theory of Love. Their study revealed that intimacy is communicated in
six ways, one of which relates to intimate communication which they categorized as
openness. Participants were asked how they communicate intimacy to their mate and
responded with comments such as: being open with him/her by discussing innermost
feelings and thoughts as well as verbally expressing love and concern for the other.
Although Chapmans (1992) research focused on love in general as opposed to
the specific construct of intimacy, he also noted that love can be communicated to ones
mate through verbal affirmation in the form of: verbal compliments, words of
appreciation, encouraging words, kind words, and humble/non-demanding words.
Phrases such as I love you or Im proud of you are among the most popular
(Chapman, 1992; Floyd & Morman, 1998; Prentice et al., 1983). Kline, Horton, and
Zhang (2008) also found that expressions of love (e.g., I love you?) are one of the most
popular ways that both American and East Asian university students express love to their
spouse, more so than merely being open with one another. Interestingly, Notarius and
Johnson (1982) reported that men are most often the first person in the dyad to make the
declaration, I love you. This finding was the result of investigating husbands and
wives emotional behavior while discussing a salient interpersonal issue. Six married
couples were videotaped and behaviors were coded using the Couples Interaction Scoring
System (Gottman, Markman, & Notarius, 1977; Gottman, 1979; Notarius & Markman,
1981).
In addition to expressions of love, another form of intimate communication used
in romantic relationships is the use of idiosyncratic language- a personalized and unique
language system whose meaning is understood only by the participants. Many scholars
23
have noted the component of intimacy inherent in idiosyncratic communication (Bell,
Buerkel-Rothfuss, & Gore, 1987; Betcher, 1987; Hopper, Knapp, & Scott, 1981). Hopper
et al. (1981) analyzed idiosyncratic communication among married and cohabitating
couples and identified eight categories of idiom use: partner nicknames, expressions of
affection, labels for others outside the relationship, confrontations, requests and routines,
sexual references and euphemisms, sexual invitations, and teasing insults. Kline et al.
(2008) found these types of symbolic bonds to be present in their cross-cultural study as
well.
Kinesics. Not all idioms are expressed verbally, however. Hopper et al. (1981)
found that 28% of the idioms used involve nonverbal behaviors categorized as kinesics.
Kinesics includes messages sent by ones body (gestures, posture, body movement),
ones face (facial expressions) and ones eyes (eye contact, eye movement). Kinesics are
linked to intimacy because they reflect two of the three criteria discussed in the
conceptualization of intimacy. Kinesics represent the connectedness and closeness of
partners because they reflect a strong favorable attitude toward the other and
communicate love nonverbally. Many kinesic behaviors are used by themselves or in
combination to communicate romantic love. The idiosyncratic behaviors that Hopper et
al. provided were: twitching the nose might mean Youre special, or pulling on the
right earlobe might mean, I love you. The number one reason why partners devise these
secretive modes of expression are because they allow couples to express affection for one
another (Bell et al., 1987; Hopper et al., 1981), particularly in public situations that might
frown upon overt displays of public affection. Secretive or not, the use of idioms has a
24
positive effect on relationships (Bruess & Pearson, 1993) and is linearly related to levels
of love, closeness, and commitment in the relationship (Hopper et al., 1981).
Numerous studies have also shown that kinesic behaviors such as smiling, eye
contact, head nods, and winking convey messages of affection, liking, and intimacy (e.g.
Burgoon, Coker, & Coker, 1986; Burgoon, Buller, & Woodall, 1989). Nonverbal
communication involving eye behavior (oculesics), in particular, plays an important role
in communicating interest in or love for another. For example, a demure glance
downwards is representative of flirtatious behavior (Burgoon et al., 1989). A sideways
glance at another may also indicate interest in the other, but a mutual glance between two
people signifies the beginning of a relationship and has been coined as shared interocular
intimacy (Grumet, 1983). Kellerman, Lewis, and Laird (1989) found support for the
connection between eye contact and intimacy when they had heterosexual strangers gaze
into one anothers eyes for two minutes. Afterwards, participants reported feeling more
romantic love, attraction, interest, and warmth for the other. Once individuals fall in love
with each other, much can be observed from their eye behavior as well. For example,
couples who are in love spend more time gazing into each others eyes (Z. Rubin, 1970).
And, according to Weiss (2004), eye contact is also a crucial element during sexual
intercourse because it makes the experience more intimate and relational, which in turn
makes it more fulfilling for both partners.
Time together. Sternberg (1986) also proposed that intimacy can be manifested
through quality time together. Chapman (1992) defines quality time as spending time
together, giving undivided attention, having quality conversation, and doing activities
together. Time together reflects two of the three criteria in the conceptualization of
25
romantic love. It fosters the closeness and connectedness of partners by demonstrating a
strong favorable attitude towards one another and communicates love by giving one
another attention. Marston et al.s (1998) research found support for Sternbergs (1986)
proposition that intimacy is communicated through time together. When asked how they
communicate intimacy to their mate, Marston et al.s research participants indicated one
way to do so is through togetherness and quiet company. Marston et al. differentiate the
two in that quiet company refers to spending time together while not talking.
Other researchers have also found that time together is important. Prentice et al.
(1983) surveyed college students to identify ways in which romantic love is
communicated and the element of quality time surfaced in this study as well. The most
popular shared activities were: cuddling, lying in front of the fireplace, walking in the
moonlight, jogging together, and/or watching television together. Tucker, Marvin, and
Varian (1991) conducted a similar study in which they asked university students to
identify what constitutes a romantic act. Taking walks ranked number one and, in a
follow-up study, having dinner together ranked three (Tucker, Vivian, & Marvin, 1992).
Netos (1997) survey of Portugese female university students also showed that sharing
time together was important. Sharing outdoor leisure activities and walking ranked
second and third. Additionally, common experiences that emerged from the Kline et al.
(2008) study included: having dinner together, sports, entertainment, and shopping.
Consistently finding time to be together is an important element to romantic
relationships. Bruess and Pearson (1997, 2002) identified seven types of rituals in which
married couples engage and couple-time rituals were at the forefront. Using the rituals
identified in Bruess and Pearsons research, Pearson, Child, and Carmon (2011)
26
developed an instrument, Rituals in Committed Romantic Relationship (RCRR), to
measure couple ritual use and analyzed the relationship of ritual use to relational intimacy
and relational quality. Findings suggest that couple-time rituals (as well as idiosyncratic
rituals and daily routines/tasks) promote deeper levels of intimacy.
Numerous researchers have concluded that spending time together is vital to
romantic relationships. It is the most important indicator of liking and intimacy (Marston
& Hecht, 1999), it communicates love to ones partner (Chapman, 1992), and it is crucial
to enhancing and maintaining romantic relationships (e.g. Acitelli, 2001; Dainton &
Stafford, 1993). According to Aron, Norman, and Aron (2001), however, the shared
activities must be self-expanding activities (meaning they are novel and arousing, which
in turn keeps the relationship from getting boring).
27
Kline et al.s (2008) cross-cultural comparisons of expressions of love revealed
that emotional support can be communicated through actions such as serving one another,
caring, and listening. These actions were found to be an instrumental means by which
to communicate affection in Floyd and Mormans (1998) study as well. In this study,
Floyd and Morman developed a self-report measure of affectionate behaviors called the
affectionate communication index (ACI). The results of this survey contributed to their
development of a tripartite model of affectionate communication behaviors that included
traditional verbal affection (i.e., saying I love you) and direct nonverbal affectionate
behaviors (i.e., hugging and kissing), but also what they termed as indirect nonverbal
affectionate behaviors, which included such things as doing favors for ones partner or
helping ones partner in some way. Research participants in this study indicated that they
expressed their affection to their mate through these types of supportive behaviors more
so than through traditional verbal and/or direct nonverbal means. In terms of listening,
Dainton and Stafford (1993) also found that just being there to listen to ones mate
communicates love.
28
a relationship and the intimacy of the touch used are positively correlated. By asking
college students to record various aspects of touch events over a three day period, Jones
and Yarbrough (1985) were able to identify three different types of touch that are used to
foster intimacy. Inclusion touches are sustained touches that involve lower body parts
such as the legs, knees, hips, and side-by-side hugs and are used to convey togetherness.
Affection touches are signified by a hand on the shoulder, squeezing an arm, etc. and
are used to communicate affection and nothing more. The third type of touch is the
sexual touch, which is a prolonged touch that involves multiple parts of the body, and
moves from one part of the body to another in order to show sexual intent. (Sexual touch
will be discussed in detail under passionate communication).
Guerrero and Floyd (2006) point out that there are varying intensities of touch
depending on the stage of the relationship. For instance, partners in newer relationships
will engage in short, upper-body contact hugs, whereas partners in more established
relationships will engage in longer, full-body-contact hugs. Floyd (1999) differentiates
three types of hug. In the criss-cross hug, each person has one arm above and one arm
below the others. In the neck-waist hug, one person has his/her arms wrapped around the
others neck, while the other partner has his/her arms wrapped around his/her partners
waist. The last type of hug is the engulfing hug (also called the bear hug) where one
partner has his/her arms pulled into his/her chest and the others arms are wrapped
completely around this person. In addition to the hug, the kiss may differ in intensity as
well. Early stages of a romantic relationship may be connoted by a peck on the cheek. As
the relationship progresses, however, the kiss becomes more intimate in that it is mouth-
29
to-mouth, prolonged, and often times involves the tongue which is referred to as a wet
kiss (Guerrero & Floyd, 2006).
It is important to note, although intimacy and passion are separate constructs of
romantic love, they are related in that rising levels of intimacy lead to passion
(Baumeister & Bratslavsky, 1999). This is evident in kissing. Kissing is a mutual
expression of affection for one another which fosters intimacy. In fact, kissing is so
intimate, that many prostitutes refrain from kissing their clients because it fosters an
intimacy they do not want to share with them (Freund, Leonard, & Lee, 1989). Those in a
romantic relationship, however, enjoy the intimacy that is created through kissing.
Kissing, in fact was ranked as the most popular romantic act in Tucker et al.s (1992)
study.
To summarize, research has shown that the intimacy component of romantic love
is communicated in a variety of ways. First, many individuals use verbal communication
to foster an intimacy between them through the use of self-disclosure (e.g. Acitelli &
Duck, 1987; Reis & Shaver, 1988), openness (Marston et al., 1998), verbal affirmation
(e.g. Chapman, 1992; Floyd & Morman, 1998), and idiosyncratic language (e.g. Bell et
al., 1987; Hopper et al., 1981). Second, intimacy is communicated through kinesics
including the use of nonverbal idioms (Bell et al., 1987; Bruess & Pearson, 1993; Hopper
et al., 1981), smiling, head nods, winking (e.g. Burgoon et al., 1986; Burgoon et al.,
1989), and oculesics (e.g. Burgoon et al., 1989; Weiss, 2004). Third, time together fosters
intimacy between individuals (e.g. Prentice et al., 1983; Tucker et al., 1991). Fourth, the
intimacy component is nurtured through emotional support (Cutrona, 1996; Sternberg,
1986) and can be communicated to one another by being there for ones partner (Marston
30
et al., 1998), serving one another (Chapman, 1992; Floyd & Morman, 1998; Kline et al.,
2008), caring (Kline et al., 2008), and listening (Dainton & Stafford, 1993; Kline et al.,
2008). And, lastly, intimacy is communicated through affectionate touch such as holding
hands, hugging, cuddling, caressing, backrubs/massages, and kissing (e.g. Guerrero &
Floyd, 2006; Jones & Yarbrough, 1985).
31
The following literature review on passion is categorized according to shared components
of Sternberg and other researchers findings.
Romantic gestures. Romantic gestures involve the use of environmental cues and
romantic gifts. Romantic gestures are linked to passion because they set the mood for
passion. They are linked to the conceptualization of passion in that they promote positive
feelings towards one another and those positive feelings are connected to a strong arousal
and desire to be with one another. Environmental cues create an ambiance for romantic,
passionate love and include such things as candles, sunset, moonlight, fire, etc. Romantic
gifts include items such as jewelry, candy, flowers, cards, etc. Several studies revealed
these passionate components of romantic love when exploring the concept of romance.
For example, Prentice et al. (1983) tapped the passionate component of romantic love
when they surveyed college students to determine how romantic love is communicated.
Prentice et al.s research resulted in the identification of three major dimensions of
romantic love: traditional romance (which is the focus here), sexual behavior, and shared
activities. Traditional romance, as defined in this study, included gestures that were
purely romantic: sending love notes, having dinner by candlelight, watching a sunset
together, walking in the moonlight, receiving a special card, and lying in front of a fire.
Of the three, traditional romance and sexual behavior were more prominent means by
which these students communicated romantic love. The most popular traditional ways in
which romantic love was communicated included: saying I love you, lying in front of a
fire, cuddling, and walking in the moonlight.
Interestingly, these same themes of romance and sexual behavior emerged in
Marston et al.s (1998) study as well. Marston et al.s (1998) study, which assessed the
32
subjective experience of the constructs of Sternbergs (1986) Triangular Theory of Love,
revealed that passion is experienced in two ways: romance and sexual intimacy. In terms
of romance, Marston et al. found that passion is often times communicated through
affection, verbal and nonverbal expressions of feeling, and romantic gestures such as the
giving of romantic gifts (i.e. sending roses), having a candlelight dinner, putting rose
petals on the bed, and ultimately the giving of an engagement and/or wedding ring
(Marston & Hecht, 1999).
The giving and receiving of gifts as a communication of romantic love has
appeared in other research as well. For example, Huang and Yu (2000) identified three
different types and purposes of gifts: self enhancement gifts to impress others (e.g.,
perfume, cosmetics), interpersonal gifts to express love (e.g., flowers), and joint gifts to
announce the relationship (e.g., matching clothes). Several researchers have found
support for the fact that giving gifts such as jewelry, candy, flowers, etc. communicates
love to ones mate (e.g. Chapman, 1992; Olsen, 2003). The giving and receiving of
flowers, in particular, has been a popular means by which to communicate passionate,
romantic love. For example, Tucker et al. (1991) surveyed university students asking
them to identify what constitutes a romantic act. Of the 10 items mentioned most
frequently, 7 were common to both sexes, although the relative ranking differed. The
most popular romantic acts include: taking walks, followed by sending and receiving
flowers, and kissing for women, and kissing and candlelit dinners for men. A follow-up
study (Tucker et al., 1992) resulted in similar findings. The three most popular romantic
acts mentioned included: kissing, sending or receiving flowers, and dinner in a variety of
settings.
33
Gift giving is universal as well. For example, through Chapmans (1992)
anthropologic study of various cultures ranging from the Mayans to the Eskimos, he
found that in every culture gift giving was a part of the love-marriage process. Netos
(1997) research surveying university women in Portugal showed similar findings to that
of Tucker et al. (1991, 1992). The Portugese women ranked the top three romantic acts
as: sending or receiving of flowers, sharing outdoor leisure activities, and walking.
Huang and Yu (year), however, explored the double-edged effect of gift giving among a
sample of college students who were currently or previously involved in a romantic
relationship. Through self-reported perceptions of gift giving frequency, results indicated
that when given too frequently or infrequently, gifts can have a negative effect on
romantic relationships.
Sexual touch. According to Sternberg (1986), passion can also be experienced
through kissing, hugging, touching, and making love. Touching, holding one another, and
having sex are all related to passion, a component of Eros love (Marston et al., 1998).
Sexual touch is linked to the conceptualization of passion provided in this study as well
because it reflects intense sexual desire and sexual behavior. As relationships become
more intimate, partners communicate their love through sexual expression. Many
scholars have confirmed that sexual expression is an important element in understanding
how people communicate romantic love (Hendrick & Hendrick, 2002; Prentice et al.,
1983). Hendrick and Hendrick noted that romantic love and sexual expression are not
two separate domains of scholarly inquiry, but rather linked constructs that must be
studied together in order to understand romantic love. In fact, several studies have shown
34
that Sexual Satisfaction is positively associated to the relational construct of love (e.g.
Aron & Henkemeyer, 1995; Sprecher & Regan, 1998).
The theme of sexual expression was found to be true in Prentice et al.s (1983)
study as well. As mentioned previously, Prentice et al. surveyed college students and
identified three means in which to communicate romantic love: traditional means (e.g.,
notes, candy, flowers), sexual expression, and shared activities. Of the three major
dimensions of romantic love identified in the study, traditional romance and sexual
behavior were more prominent means by which students communicated romantic love.
The most popular sexual means of expressing romantic love included: taking a shower
together, undressing each other, engaging in foreplay, and having sexual intercourse.
Interestingly, making love was noted as an act of romance in Tucker et al.s (1991) study
by men, but not for women. This finding underscores the importance of understanding
how romantic love is communicated by both men and women, as it may differ among
genders.
To summarize, research has shown that passion, a component of romantic love, is
communicated in various ways. Passion is communicated through romantic gestures such
as environmental cues that set the mood for passion (e.g. Marston & Hecht, 1999;
Prentice et al., 1983), romantic gifts (e.g. Chapman, 1992; Huang & Yu, 2000) and
sexual touch (e.g. Hendrick & Hendrick, 2002; Prentice et al., 1983).
The review of literature has provided evidence that romantic love is
communicated through two key constructs as identified in the conceptualization of
romantic love: intimacy and passion. Romantic love communication behaviors indicative
of intimacy include: verbal communication, kinesics, time together, emotional support,
35
and affectionate touch. Romantic love communication behaviors indicative of passion
include: romantic gestures, and sexual touch. One of the purposes of this study is to
develop a holistic typology representing the various means by which romantic love is
communicated. It is not known whether these romantic love communication behaviors
are exhaustive or if there are any other behaviors that can be included. Therefore, the
following research question is posed:
RQ1: What communication behaviors are used to express romantic love?
Romantic love communication behaviors bond couples together. In the beginning
stages of relationship development, these elements are communicated in a seemingly
effortless fashion. As time progresses and life gets in the way, couples realize that
sustaining the communication of romantic love for the duration of ones marriage
requires hard work. Research (Huston, Robins, Atkinson, & McHale, 1987; MacDermid,
Huston, & McHale, 1990) has shown that couples affectionate communication (e.g.,
saying something nice rather than criticizing or complaining) decreases significantly
shortly after marriage which may explain why there is the greatest decrease in marital
satisfaction during the first year of marriage (Glenn, 1998). If affectionate
communication declines after a couple is married, romantic love communication
behaviors most likely decline as well. The decline in romantic love communication
behaviors after marriage more than likely does not decrease at an equal rate for both
partners. Therefore, one partner will feel as though he/she is putting more or less into the
relationship than his/her partner. Per the tenets of the Equity theory (cite), this inequity
will cause distress to the couple. The underbenefited partner may feel angry he/she is
putting more into the relationship than his/her partner and the overbenefited partner may
36
feel guilty he/she is putting less into the relationship than his/her partner. The distress
caused by the inequity will in turn promote dissatisfaction with the relationship, which
leads to the third component to this study- satisfaction. Satisfaction will be analyzed in an
effort to understand how these three variables function together.
Equity theory
The theoretical framework for this study is equity theory. The idea of equity first
originated in social exchange theory, which seeks to explain why human beings behave in
certain ways in partnerships and groups. Social exchange theory can be traced back to the
1920s (e.g., Malinowski, 1922; Mauss, 1925) and has bridged many disciplines such as
anthropology (e.g., Firth, 1967; Sahlins, 1972), social psychology (e.g. Homans, 1958;
Thibaut & Kelley, 1959), and sociology (e.g., Blau, 1964). Although there are many
different views of social exchange, the basic premise is based on the idea of economic
behavior where the outcome of an interaction is the ratio of costs to rewards. The
interactions are interdependent and contingent upon the actions of another person (Blau,
1964). According to Emerson (1976), social exchange theory has evolved throughout the
years due to the work of four figures: George Homans, John Thibaut, Harold Kelley, and
Peter Blau. Each took a unique approach to the theory. For example, Blau (1964) focused
more on technical economic analysis whereas Homans (1958), Thibaut, and Kelley
(1959) focused more on the psychology of instrumental behavior. Homans, Thibaut, and
Kelley differed in their strategies of theory construction. For example, Thibaut and
Kelley started with psychological principles, applied them to the dyad, and moved
upward to small groups. Homans, did just the opposite, taking a reductionist approach.
37
Despite the different approaches to social exchange theory, there are five key
assumptions in which each perspective is based. They are as follows:
1. People seek to maximize their benefits and minimize their costs.
2. We can accurately gauge the payoffs of a variety of interactions.
3. We have the good sense to choose the action that will provide the best results.
4. If the costs outweigh the rewards, we will discontinue the relationship.
5. If the rewards outweigh the costs, we will continue the relationship
(Thibaut & Kelley, 1959).
The key constructs in the theory are rewards and costs, comparison level, and
level of alternatives. In terms of rewards and costs, the idea is that people will generally
avoid costly behavior and seek rewards that will maximize their profits. Foa and Foas
(1974, 1980) resource theory identifies six types of resources exchanged: love, status,
information, money, goods, and services. These resources are typically divided into
economic and socioemotional outcomes. The economic outcomes address financial needs
and are tangible, whereas the socioemotional outcomes address ones social and esteem
needs. Other scholars (Nye, 1979) have identified rewards as status, relationships,
interactions, emotional states, and experiences that gratify people. Costs would include
any of these same types of things that an individual dislikes. Individuals will strive to
achieve the best ratio of rewards to costs by maximizing profits and minimizing losses
(Miller & Bermudez, 2004). According to Gottman (1994), stable marriages maintain a
five to one positive to negative ratio.
The second key construct is comparison level. In dyadic relationships, individuals
expect certain things. These expectations are standards by which an individual evaluates
38
the rewards and costs of the relationship compared to what that individual thinks he or
she deserves. The expectations are influenced by the outcomes and profits others similar
in age, life stage, and experience are receiving, thus creating a comparison level (Miller
& Bermudez, 2004; Nye, 1979). Interdependence theory (Rusbult & Buunk, 1993;
Thibaut & Kelley, 1959), a sibling theory to Equity theory, grew out of this idea of
weighing inputs and outcomes by comparing them to ones expectations.
The third key construct is comparison level of alternatives. According to Thibaut
and Kelley (1959, p. 21), this is the lowest level of outcomes a member will accept in
the light of alternative opportunities. In other words, individuals compare the outcomes
of their current relationship, position, or experience to those they would expect to receive
in alternative relationships, positions, or experiences (Miller & Bermudez, 2004; Nye,
1979). In marital relationships, if the rewards in the marriage do not exceed the rewards
expected in an alternative relationship, one or both people might leave (Donovan &
Jackson, 1990).
As research progressed in this area, many scholars became interested in the
equitability of the costs and rewards, hence the development of equity theory. The
following literature review will cover the basic propositions of equity theory, criticisms
against and support for applying equity theory to intimate relationships, and applications
of equity theory to other areas of research.
39
earliest studies of equity resulted in what is now known as equity theory, which is a
general theory of social behavior developed originally as a model of distributive justice
(As rewards-costs/ investments= Bs rewards-costs/ investments) to be applied to social
groups and business contexts (Adams, 1965). The difference between equity theory and
social exchange theory is that with equity theory, individuals not only compute their ratio
of inputs to outcomes but they also compute their partners ratio as well.
With a few exceptions, it was not until the 1970s that sociologists and
psychologists really began to take an interest in the human behavior side of equity and
scholars began testing the propositions of equity theory in interpersonal relationships.
This was an important shift because the process involved with equity theory, according to
Adams (1965), has characteristics that generate affect, motivation, and behavior that one
cannot understand or predict unless the process of equity is understood. A second shift in
research was then made from applying equity theory to not only casual relationships, but
intimate relationships as well. According to Hatfield, Traupmann, Sprecher, Utne, and
Hay (1985), it would have been a grave error not to include intimate relationships in the
study of equity theory, given their importance to ones life.
Equity theory, as it relates to interpersonal relationships, is a theory that measures
the satisfaction of a couples relationship based on the ratio between partners input
(costs) and output values (rewards). If the ratios are equal, in other words, the partners
feel they are putting into the relationship as much as they are getting out of it, then the
relationship is said to be equitable (Adams, 1965; Walster, 1975). If, on the other hand,
partners feel they put more into the relationship than they are getting out of it (they are
underbenefited), or they are getting more out of it than they are putting into it (they are
40
overbenefited), then the ratios are not in balance and the relationship is said to be
inequitable. According to Sprecher (1986), people in inequitable relationships who are
underbenefited experience the greatest amount of distress (which can negatively impact
the relationship). It is important to note that whether a relationship or a specific aspect of
the relationship (e.g., romantic love communication behaviors) is equitable or inequitable
to an individual depends on that individuals perceptions (rather than the objective, actual
ratios), and those perceptions are influenced by the value one places on various inputs
and outputs (Byers & Wang, 2004).
Following are the four primary propositions of equity theory:
Proposition I: Individuals will try to maximize their outcomes (where outcomes
equal rewards minus punishments).
Proposition IIA: Groups (or rather, the individuals comprising these groups) can
maximize collective rewards by evolving accepted systems for equity, and will
attempt to induce members to accept and adhere to these systems.
Proposition IIB: Groups will generally reward members who treat others
equitably, and generally punish members who treat others inequitably.
Proposition III: When individuals find themselves participating in inequitable
relationships, they will become distressed. The more inequitable the relationship,
the more distress they will feel.
Proposition IV: Individuals who discover that they are in inequitable relationships
will attempt to eliminate their distress by restoring equity. The greater the
inequity that exists, the more distress they will feel, and the harder they will try to
restore equity (Hatfield et al., 1985, p. 91-92).
41
According to Adams (1965), restoration of equity can be accomplished in the
following ways: changing what one puts into the relationship, changing ones own
outcomes, altering ones perceptions of the inputs and outputs, leaving the field, insisting
ones partner adjust his/her inputs or outputs, using different bases for comparison, and
negatively reacting to ones partner.
42
out of it. Further, Mills and Clark supported Chadwick-Jones (1976) and Brunners
(1945) claim that applying a fairness principle to loving relationships is inappropriate
because much of the input is emotional, and thus essentially unquantifiable.
As time progressed, many researchers began collecting data to address this
controversy. For example, Lujanksy and Mikula (1983) conducted a study to support that
Equity theory could not be used to explain the quality and stability of romantic
relationships; their study provided support for their hypothesis. The primary criticism of
Lujansky and Mikula when applying equity theory to intimate relationships was that
equitability is difficult to measure. The equity ratio was typically determined by using
either the Walster (1977) Global Measure or the Traupmann-Utne-Walster (1977) scale.
The Walster (1977) Global Measure asked participants to assess their own contributions,
own outcomes, partners contributions, and partners outcomes. The results of which
were then placed into an equity formula to determine whether the relationship is
equitable, underbenefiting, or overbenefiting. Later versions of this scale, called the
Hatfield Global Measure (Hatfield et al., 1979) (Note: Hatfield was formerly Walster),
allowed participants to decide for themselves if they are underbenefited, overbenefited, or
treated equitably. The Traupmann-Utne-Walster (1977) scale measured the level of
equity that intimate couples perceived in their relationship by assessing four attributes of
ones relationship: personal concerns, emotional concerns, day-to-day concerns, and
opportunities gained or lost.
Martin (1985) was another researcher whose study found little support for equity
theory. His study found that married couples reported a greater satisfaction with their
relationship when rewards were high; their satisfaction did not come from having an
43
equitable relationship. In fact, the couples reported that they did not feel a need to keep
record of exchanges. Martin proposed that equity could be applied to casual interaction
but too much emphasis on bookkeeping can be detrimental to intimate exchanges. Martin
supported Schwartz (1967) finding that keeping track of exchanges in an intimate
relationship transforms it into an economic transaction. Cate, Lloyd, and Hentons
(1985) study had similar findings as that of Martin (1985). Cate et al. (1985) surveyed
dating couples rather than married couples, but like Martin (1985), found that reward
level rather than equity was a significant factor leading to relationship satisfaction in
intimate relationships.
Support for applying equity theory to intimate relationships. On the other side
of the controversy are theorists who claim that whether or not a relationship is casual or
intimate, people are still concerned with the concept of fairness. Many theorists such as
Hatfield, Utne, and Traupmann (1979) argue that equity theory and the concept of
fairness can be applied to all relationships whether they are casual or intimate. Although
there may be unique characteristics of intimate relationships that may affect the timing
and reaction to perceived inequity, the concept of fairness is still important and
applicable. To prove their point, Hatfield et al. cited various marital therapists (Lederer &
Jackson, 1968; Patterson & Reed, 1970) who based their marital counseling on a fairexchange model of intimate relationships.
In order to provide support for equity theory being applied to intimate
relationships, researchers conducted studies that tested the five hypothesis Hatfield et al.
(1979) developed. These hypotheses were derived from equity theory and applied to
intimate relationships. Following are the hypotheses with their corresponding support:
44
Hypothesis 1: In the casual and steady dating period, couples who feel that their
relationships are equitable will be more likely than couples in inequitable
relationships to move on to more intimate relationships. (For example, equitable
couples will be especially likely to become sexually involved-and to continue to
date, live together, or marry) (Hatfield et al., 1985, pp. 94-95).
Numerous studies provided support for Hypothesis 1. For example, Hatfield et al.
(1978) found that equitable relationships were more likely to move toward a more
intimate relationship, and were more sexually active. And other studies have shown that
the frequency of that sexual activity is higher when partners perceive an equitable
exchange of communication, emotional investment, material investment, sexual and
emotional fidelity, and degree of arousal during sexual activity (Lawrance & Byers,
1995; Peplau et al., 1977; Regan & Sprecher, 1995; Walster et al., 1978). Additionally,
Traupmann et al. (1983) found that men and women in equitable relationships felt more
loving, close, and more physically satisfied after sex with their partner than men and
women in inequitable relationships.
Hypothesis 2: Equitable relationships will be compatible relationships. Men and
women in equitable relationships should be more content than men and women
who are receiving either far more or far less than they feel they deserve. The more
inequitable their relationships, the more distress they should feel (Hatfield et al.,
1985, pp. 94-95).
A considerable number of studies provide support for Hypothesis 2. There is
evidence that inequity is distressing for all stages of relationships, from dating couples
(Hatfield et al., 1978; Schafer & Keith, 1981; Traupmann & Hatfield, 1981; Traupmann
45
et al., 1983) to newlyweds (Traupmann & Hatfield, 1981; Utne et al., 1984). Utne et al.s
(1984) study found that men and women in equitable relationships were more content and
satisfied with their relationship and felt their relationship was more stable than those
couples who felt they were in an inequitable relationship. Snell and Belk (1985) also
tested equity in dating couples. Their study confirmed that women who were in equitable
relationships had a higher degree of liking for their partner than those women who were
in inequitable relationships.
As mentioned previously, several studies (e.g. Utne et al., 1984; Walster et al.,
1978) found the more equitable a relationship is perceived to be, the more satisfied one is
with the relationship. A particular area of study that has also provided support for
Hypothesis 2 is the romantic communication behavior related to passion- sex. Sexual
frequency, sexual initiations, and responses to sexual initiations are all aspects of sexual
touch that can lead to sexual and Relational Satisfaction. These behaviors within the
equity framework can also be considered rewards and costs. When partners perceive an
inequity in the frequency or quality of initiations and/or positive responses to the
initiations, it may lead to lower Sexual Satisfaction (Hatfield et al., 1979). Low sexual
and Relational Satisfaction are associated with lower frequency of sexual activity
(Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Byers & Heinlein, 1989; Call, Sprecher, & Schwartz,
1995; Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, & Michaels, 1994), which could be a source of
distress for couples.
Hypothesis 3: Since inequities are disturbing, couples should continue to try to
resolve them over the course of their relationships. Men and women who feel
underbenefited should be motivated to demand more from their partners. Men and
46
women who feel overbenefited should find ways to meet the demands of their
partners. Thus, all things being equal, relationships should become more and more
equitable over time (Hatfield et al., 1985, pp. 94-95).
Schafer and Keiths (1981) study provided support for Hypotheses 3. They found the
greatest increases in perceived equity occurred when the couple was middle-aged and
their children had left home.
Hypothesis 4: In all relationships, there are certain crisis periods (e.g., when a
dating couple marries, when the first child arrives, when the children leave home,
when someone loses his or her job or retires). At such times of precipitous
change, relationships become unbalanced. If couples are contacted before, during
and after such crises, it is likely that couples will find the crisis period very
unsettling, and will work to reestablish equityor move in the direction of
dissolution of the relationships (Hatfield et al., 1985, pp. 94-95).
Ueleke, Miller, Giesen, and Miles (1983) study strongly supported Proposition
IV in that partners in an intimate relationship, especially the women, sought to restore
equity when they perceived their current relationship was inequitable. As discussed
previously, Adams (1965) identified several means by which equity can be restored:
changing what one puts into the relationship, changing ones own outcomes, altering
ones perceptions of the inputs and outputs, leaving the field, insisting ones partner
adjust his/her inputs or outputs, using different bases for comparison, and negatively
reacting to ones partner.
Several studies (e.g. Canary & Stafford, 1992; Walster et al., 1975;) have shown
that most individuals restore equity by changing what they put into the relationship. For
47
example, studies relating to relational maintenance behaviors have shown that individuals
in romantic relationships (Canary & Stafford, 1992; Dainton, 2003) and opposite-sex
platonic friendships (Messman, Canary, & Hause, 2000) will reduce inputs. Donaghue
and Fallon (2003), however, found that romantic partners would enact different
approaches to restoring equity depending upon whether the inequity was a result of being
overbenefited or underbenefited. They found that when men and women perceived their
relationship to be overbenefited (they were receiving more than they were putting into the
relationship), they would restore equity by increasing their own contributions to the
relationship rather than ask their partner to decrease theirs. When men and women
perceived their relationship to be underbenefited (they were receiving less than they were
putting into the relationship), they would restore equity by asking their partner to increase
their contributions rather than decreasing their own. However, it should be noted that
Donaghue and Fallons (2003) study assessed predictions of participants reactions based
on hypothetical scenarios that may not be reflective of what one would actually do in real
life if faced with an inequitable relationship.
Hypothesis 5: Among the committed relationships, equitable relations will be
especially stable. Individuals in equitable relations will be more likely to perceive
their relationships as long-term and will be more likely to have relationships intact
months and years later (Hatfield et al., 1985, pp. 94-95).
In terms of stability, several studies concluded the highest degree of contentment
and stability were found in equitable marriages as opposed to inequitable marriages
(Hatfield et al., 1978; Peterson, 1981; Utne et al., 1984).
48
Application of equity theory to relationship maintenance. Early research
primarily tested the validity of equity theory as applied to intimate relationships as
discussed above. However, over time the focus shifted to testing the application of equity
theory to other areas of research. For example, several studies have applied equity theory
to the process of relational maintenance (Canary & Stafford, 1992, 1993, 2001; Dainton,
2003). Stafford et al. (2000) defined maintenance behaviors as efforts to achieve
relational maintenance.
Through the work of Canary and Stafford (1992), five major relational
maintenance strategies emerged that serve to maintain relationships: positivity, openness,
assurances, social networks, and sharing tasks. Positivity refers to interacting with ones
partner in a way that is affirming, cheerful, optimistic, and uncritical. Openness refers to
talking with ones partner about the state of the relationship. Assurances refer to
messages that indicate ones loyalty and commitment to ones partner and to the
relationship. Social networks refer to interacting with and relying on the support and love
of a group of common friends and family. Sharing tasks refers to doing ones share
around the house and fulfilling ones responsibilities. Subsequent research by Stafford et
al. (2000) resulted in two additional relational maintenance strategies being added to the
original five: advice and conflict management.
Canary and Stafford (1992) predicted that couples in equitable relationships
would be the most likely to use relationship maintenance behaviors and those in
inequitable relationships would be the least likely. Using self-report measures, equity was
found to be a leading factor in the use of relational maintenance strategies, especially
when the wife reported an equitable marriage. In regard to perceptions of partner use of
49
maintenance strategies, the findings were similar. Again, when the wife reported an
equitable marriage, both husbands and wives perceived their partners using more
maintenance behaviors. These findings support Canary and Staffords hypothesis that
underbenefited spouses use and perceive fewer maintenance strategies than those couples
who are in equitable marriages. This finding is in line with Adams (1965) and Walster,
Berscheid, and Walsters (1973) study. That is, people in inequitable marriages attempt to
restore equity by reacting negatively or punishing ones partner- in this case, reducing
maintenance behaviors (withdrawing reward). The findings are also in line with the
foundational principles of Equity theory, in that maintenance behaviors require an
input/cost from one partner as well as a rewarding outcome for ones spouse (Adams,
1965).
Daintons (2003) study also supports the finding that couples in inequitable
relationships enact fewer maintenance behaviors. For example, through survey data,
Dainton found that the relational maintenance behaviors of conflict management and
positivity were used the least in inequitable relationships. This makes sense given the fact
persons in inequitable relationships experience feelings of anger, guilt, and frustration
(Sprecher, 1986) that would make it difficult to apologize and/or be cheerful.
To summarize, this literature review has focused on the application of equity
theory to intimate interpersonal relationships by first providing an overview of the basic
propositions of equity theory. Second, the criticisms against equity theory as applied to
intimate relationships were discussed. Many theorists claimed that equity theory could
not be applied to intimate relationships because intimate relationships are special
relationships and it would be inappropriate to apply a tit-for-tat exchange to them
50
(Brunner, 1945; Chadwick-Jones, 1976; Mills & Clark, 1982). Consequently, several
researchers conducted studies to show how equity theory could not be applied to intimate
relationships (Cate et al., 1985; Martin, 1985; Lujansky & Mikula, 1983). However,
numerous other theorists claimed that all relationships, whether casual or intimate, are
concerned with the concept of fairness (Hatfield et al., 1979). Researchers on this side of
the debate conducted studies to support how equity theory could be applied to intimate
relationships and did so by finding support for Hatfield et al.s (1979) hypotheses.
Hatfield et al. (1978) and Traupmann et al. (1983) found evidence that equitable
relationships move on to more intimate relationships. Hatfield et al. (1978), Snell and
Belk (1985), Traupmann et al., (1981, 1983), Utne et al. (1984), and Van Yperen and
Buunk (1990) confirmed that people in equitable relationships are the most satisfied.
Schafer and Keith (1981) found support that relationships become more equitable over
time. Uelek et al. (1983) found support that couples will seek restoration of equity if they
are in an inequitable relationship. And, Davidson (1984), Hatfield et al. (1978) and
Peterson (1981) provided support that equitable relationships are more stable than
inequitable relationships.
Third, the literature review has shown how equity theory has been applied to
relational maintenance. Canary & Stafford (1992, 1993, 2001) found that equity is a
leading factor in the use of relational maintenance strategies and Dainton (2003) found
that couples in inequitable relationships enact fewer maintenance behaviors.
Overall, equity theory has provided many valuable insights into intimate
relationships. The relationship between relational maintenance behaviors and equity
theory has clearly been established through research as discussed. However, no studies
51
have made the connection between romantic love communication behaviors and equity
theory. Because the purpose of relational maintenance and romantic love communication
behaviors is to promote the well-being of a relationship, it is hypothesized that romantic
behaviors will function similar to the way that relational maintenance behaviors do.
Research has shown that partners view equitable treatment as more emotionally
rewarding than being overbenefited or underbenefited (Sprecher, 1986). Canary and
Stafford (1992) proposed that equitability, then, could be considered an influential force
in the implementation of maintenance behaviors because partners should be more
motivated to maintain relationships they perceive as equitable.
Several studies have shown that relational maintenance behaviors are linked to
equitability in relationships (Canary & Stafford, 1992, 1993, 2001; Dainton, 2003). In the
same line of thought, it seems probable that equity could also be an influential force in
the implementation of romantic love communication behaviors. In other words,
individuals in equitable relationships will be more likely to implement romantic love
communication behaviors.
Previous research related to inequitable relationships has provided support for the
idea that individuals will reduce inputs if a relationship is perceived as inequitable
(Adams, 1965; Walster et al., 1975) in order to restore equity. Not only was support
found for this hypothesis in the theoretical studies, but also in studies relating to
relational maintenance behaviors in romantic relationships (Canary & Stafford, 1992;
Dainton, 2003) and opposite-sex platonic friendships (Messman, Canary, & Hause,
2000). It seems probable that romantic love communication behavior usage will be low
for inequitable relationships as well. Although the propositions of equity theory primarily
52
focus on two types of equity, equitable relationships and inequitable relationships, this
study will also analyze the two types of inequitable relationships, overbenefited and
underbenefited. Overnefited relationships are those in which one spouse perceives he/she
is receiving more than he/she is putting in. Underbenefited relationships are those in
which one spouse perceives he/she is putting more into the relationship than receiving.
Therefore, the following hypotheses are posed:
H1a: Individuals in an equitable relationship will report using Romantic Love
Communication Behaviors (RLCB) significantly more often than individuals
in an inequitable relationship (overbenefited and underbenefited).
H1b: Individuals in an equitable relationship will report their partner uses
Romantic Love Communication Behaviors (RLCB) significantly more often
than individuals in an inequitable relationship (overbenefited and
underbenefited).
Satisfaction
According to Vangelisti (2002), satisfaction has been the outcome variable of
choice for many researchers studying interpersonal communication in romantic
relationships because both researchers and the public want to know what makes for a
happy relationship. Satisfaction is typically operationalized as partners feelings about
their relationship at a given point in time (p. 668). The following review of literature
will first summarize the relationship between satisfaction and the two key constructs of
romantic love- intimacy and passion. Second, a summary of the literature linking
satisfaction to romantic love communication behaviors will be provided. Third, a review
of the literature linking satisfaction to the theoretical framework for this study, Equity
53
theory, will be discussed. The three types of satisfaction (relational, sexual, and
communication) as outlined for this study will be the focus.
Intimacy and passion. Several studies have shown the importance of looking at
the key constructs of romantic love (intimacy and passion) and their relationship to
satisfaction. For example, Aron and Henkemeyer (1995) asserted that intimacy and
passion are important correlates to studying the concept of love and claim that the
distinction between love in general and passionate love overlap when looking at
relationship satisfaction. They found that marital satisfaction was moderately correlated
to passionate love for women; however, there was no significant correlation for men.
This was a surprising find given that Hendrick, Hendrick, Foote, and Slapion-Foote
(1984) found that men tend to be more erotic in their love attitudes than women.
Hendrick et al.s (1984) study focused on measuring the love and sex attitudes of students
using a scale reflective of Lees (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992) love styles. The difference
in findings may be attributed to the fact that students, who may or may not have ever
been in love, were used in Hendrick et al.s (1984) study and married individuals were
used in Aron and Henkemeyers study.
Intimacy and passion are also two of the three elements found in the Triangular
Theory of Love (Sternberg, 1986) that has been studied in connection with satisfaction.
The Triangular Theory of Love states that love consists of intimacy, passion, and
commitment, and is most durable when these three elements are at peak levels and equal
for both partners. Lemieux and Hale (1999, 2000, 2002) conducted numerous studies to
analyze the relationships between the three components of the Triangular Theory of Love
and satisfaction. Using Hendricks (1988) Relationship Assessment Scale, Lemieux and
54
Hale (1999) sought to discover which of the components of the Triangular Theory of
Love would predict Relational Satisfaction for unmarried men and women. Results
indicated that all three of the components were significantly correlated to Relational
Satisfaction and predicted Relational Satisfaction for both genders. For men, the strongest
predictor was intimacy, followed by passion, and then commitment. For women, the
order was slightly different. For women, the strongest predictor was intimacy as well, but
was then followed by commitment, and then passion.
Lemieux and Hales (2000) subsequent study found that the correlations of the
three components to Relational Satisfaction for married individuals was significantly
higher than the correlations for unmarried individuals. Results also indicated differing
contributions of each component. For married men, commitment was the primary
predictor of Relational Satisfaction for unmarried men, followed by passion and then
intimacy. Ironically, the strongest predictor of Relational Satisfaction for unmarried men,
intimacy, was the weakest predictor for married men. The weakest predictor of Relational
Satisfaction for unmarried men, commitment, was the strongest predictor for married
men. For married women, intimacy was the primary predictor of Relational Satisfaction
followed by passion and then commitment. For both married and unmarried women,
intimacy is the primary predictor of Relational Satisfaction; however, the weakest
predictor for unmarried women is passion, whereas the weakest predictor for married
women is commitment. Noteworthy is the finding that intimacy is the strongest predictor
of Relational Satisfaction for unmarried men, unmarried women, and married women but
not married men.
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Romantic love communication behaviors. In addition to research linking the
key constructs of intimacy and passion to satisfaction, research has also linked the
romantic love communication behaviors associated with each of the constructs to
satisfaction. As discussed previously, the romantic love communication behaviors linked
to intimacy include: verbal communication, kinesics, time together, emotional support,
and affectionate touch.
Intimacy.
Verbal communication and satisfaction. In terms of verbal communication,
several scholars have found that intimate communication is associated with marital
satisfaction (e.g. Bruess & Pearson, 1993; Tucker & Aron, 1993). LanghinrichsenRohling, Schlee, Monson, Ehrensaft, and Heyman (1998) analyzed husbands and wifes
perceptions of positive communication and behaviors in marriage through positive
relationship questionnaires. Results indicated that people in happy marriages, as opposed
to distressed marriages, use more intimate language with one another which emphasizes
the importance of looking at the constructs of intimacy and love together.
As discussed previously, one of the most intimate forms of verbal communication
is self-disclosure. Many researchers have found that high levels of self disclosure are
characteristic of happily married couples (e.g. Dickson-Markman, 1984; Gilbert, 1976).
Gilbert (1976), however, found a curvilinear relationship between self disclosure and
marital satisfaction; the most stable and satisfying marriages were those that had medium
levels of self-disclosure as opposed to low or high levels. Rosentfeld and Bowens
(1991) research, however, supported yet another hypothesis that self disclosures in
marriages reach a threshold effect in that beyond a given point, additional amounts of self
56
disclosure do not increase levels of marital satisfaction. In addition to levels of selfdisclosure, researchers have found other facets of self disclosure that are related to
marital satisfaction. For example, Dickson-Markman (1984) sought to identify what types
of self disclosure (amount, intent, honesty, valence, and depth) are related to marital
satisfaction. She found that honesty, intent, and valence were related to marital
satisfaction, but amount and depth were not. Dickson-Markman notes the finding is
contrary to other researchers who found that as relationships become more intimate, the
amount and depth of self-disclosure increases (Wheeless & Grotz, 1976). The differences
in the studies is the length of relationships. In the Dickson-Markmans study, participants
were in long-term stable relationships averaging 12 years. Whereas in new relationships
couples self disclose greater amounts and depth of information as they get to know one
another, this type of self disclosure is not as relevant once the relationship is established.
Additionally, Bruess and Pearson (1993) surveyed married couples ranging on the
continuum of newly married to empty nesters to assess the relationship between the use
of idioms (e.g. nicknames or covert gestures) and marital satisfaction across the life
cycle. Respondents were asked to report idiom use via a questionnaire and report levels
of marital satisfaction using the satisfaction subscale of Spaniers (1976) Dyadic
Adjustment Scale. Bruess and Pearson found that marriages that have a higher degree of
marital satisfaction report more idiom use; unfortunately, idioms are used more often in
early marriage but decline over the span of ones marriage. Couples who use the most
idioms were married less than five years and had no children. This finding is consistent
with Tucker and Arons (1993) study which sought to measure passionate love and
marital satisfaction across three key transitional points in the life cycle: engagement to
57
marriage, childlessness to parenthood, and children living at home to empty nest. Tucker
and Aron found that the correlations between marital satisfaction and passionate love
decrease across the life cycle particularly after marriage and parenthood.
Research has also pointed to another form of verbal communication between
romantic partners that promotes Relational Satisfaction- compliments. Researchers
contend that compliments are a form of verbal communication that allows couples to
share intimate communication and positive feelings with their partner that contributes to
and/or reflects the satisfaction and value of the relationship (Doohan & Manusov, 2004;
Helgeson, Shaver, & Dyer, 1987; Prager, 1995). Using a diary method, Doohan and
Manusov analyzed complimentary behavior between participants involved in a
heterosexual romantic relationship. Results indicated that participants perceptions of
their own and their partners compliment behavior was positively related to Relational
Satisfaction. Although both men and women regard compliments as important to their
romantic relationship, women tend to be more aware of their presence or absence. In
terms of the content of the compliment, appearance was the most often complimented
topic and was most often received by women. Men received compliments most often on
personality traits, performance, and emotions. When asked what was the best compliment
they had ever received from their partner, participants recalled compliments that
expressed feelings/emotions about the relationship, the importance of the relationship and
the importance of the other person. And, finally, the most common response to a
partners compliment was a return compliment, which underscores the equitable balance
individuals seek to maintain as discussed in Equity theory (Adams, 1965).
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Time together and satisfaction. The connection between time together and marital
satisfaction has also been researched. Studies have shown that time spent together is
positively correlated to intimacy and relationship satisfaction (e.g. Duck & Pittman,
1994; Reissman et al., 1993), and that the lack thereof can cause significant marital
distress (Russell-Chapin, Chapin, & Sattler, 2001; Smith, Snyder, Trull, & Monsma,
1988). This is not a new finding. As early as 1976 the correlation between shared
activities and marital satisfaction was being investigated. For instance, building upon the
Orden and Bradburn (1968) model for marital happiness, Marini (1976) investigated the
relationship between three variables: marital satisfaction, marital tensions, and marital
companionships. Through this study, Marini concluded that the number of pleasurable
activities in which couples engage together is positively linked to their marital
satisfaction. This finding was given additional support through research in the 1980s and
1990s. Using a diary approach, Kirchler (1989) asked married and cohabitating couples
to log the amount of time they spent together at home and during recreation periods. In
addition, couples completed questionnaires regarding personality measures and marital
satisfaction. Results indicated that the happier couples spent more time together.
Although Reissman et al.s (1993) study of married couples supports the vital role that
sharing activities has on marital satisfaction, they distinguish the difference between what
types of activities. According to Reissman et al., there needs to be a degree of excitement
in the shared activity in order for it to enhance marital satisfaction. For example,
watching television together would not enhance marital satisfaction for the couple to the
degree that going on a vacation together would.
59
Emotional Support and satisfaction. Various types of marital support have also
been shown to be a vital component to marital satisfaction (Acitelli & Antonucci, 1994;
Xu & Burleson, 2004), and the lack of support has been shown to promote dissatisfaction
(Gagnon, Hersen, Kabacoff, & Van Hasselt, 1999) and even termination of relationships
(Baxter, 1986). Using typologies represented in previous research (Cutrona & Russell,
1990; House, 1981), Xu and Burleson (2004) broke support down into five different
types to determine which was the strongest correlate of marital satisfaction. Following
are the five types:
Emotional support (i.e., expression of love, empathy, and concern),
Esteem support (i.e., expressions of respect, validation, and confidence)
Network support (i.e., expressions that create a sense of belonging)
Tangible support (i.e., the provision of material assistance such as goods and
services)
Informational support (i.e., expressions that provide facts, advice, and appraisals
regarding situations of concern) (p. 125)
Emotional support was the most strongly correlated to marital satisfaction
regardless of gender or ethnicity.
Affectionate touch and satisfaction. Affectionate touch has also been linked to
relationship satisfaction (Gulledge et al., 2003), and the lack of these behaviors is a sign
of relationship deterioration (Owen, 1987). For example, Gulledge et al. conducted a
study to assess the effect of non-sexual physical affection on relationship satisfaction.
Male and female college students were asked to report their perceptions regarding seven
types of physical affection (backrubs/massages, caressing/stroking, cuddling/holding,
60
holding hands, hugging, kissing on the lips, and kissing on the face) and rank them
according to dimensions of frequent, intimate, favorite, and expressive of love.
Respondents who were currently in a dating relationship were asked to report the
frequency of each type of physical affection per week, as well as levels of Relational
Satisfaction. Through this study, Gulledge et al. found that physical affection was
positively correlated with relationship and partner satisfaction; in fact, conflict was
resolved easier with increased amounts of cuddling/holding, kissing on the lips, and
hugging.
Passion. Not only have some of the romantic love communication behaviors
related to intimacy been shown to be related to relational/marital satisfaction, but the
romantic love communication behaviors related to passion, romantic gestures and sexual
touch, are related to relational/marital satisfaction, as well.
Romantic gestures and satisfaction. In terms of romantic gestures, several studies
have noted the romantic element inherent in the giving and receiving of gifts (e.g.
Chapman, 1992; Marston & Hecht, 1999) as discussed previously. Gifts have been shown
to have a positive effect on individuals overall. For example, Haviland-Jones, Rosario,
Wilson, and McGuire (2005) looked at the effect of giving flowers, in particular, and
found that the gift of flowers for women of all ages, married and single, immediately
elicited a smile. In addition, these women when asked about their moods through
questionnaires, reported having more positive moods three days later. Other researchers
have found support that gifts play a vital role in maintaining and enhancing romantic
relationships (e.g. Beatty et al., 1991; Chapman, 1992).
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Sexual touch and satisfaction. Sexual touch has also been linked to marital
satisfaction through studies measuring Sexual Satisfaction. Sexual Satisfaction is defined
as the degree in which individuals are satisfied or happy with the sexual aspect of their
relationship (Sprecher & Cate, 2004). Several studies have shown that Sexual
Satisfaction is highly associated with the construct of love (e.g. Hendrick & Hendrick
2004; Sprecher & Regan, 1998) and have shown that couples who report being sexually
satisfied in their marriage report high levels of overall relational/marital satisfaction (e.g.
Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Sprecher & Cate, 2004). This connection is so strong, in
fact, that a change in Sexual Satisfaction is associated with a change in Relational
Satisfaction (Edward & Booth, 1994; Sprecher, 2002). It is important to note, however,
that the causal direction for these studies has not been determined. Although Sexual
Satisfaction could lead to Relational Satisfaction, Relational Satisfaction could also lead
to Sexual Satisfaction (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Hendersen-King & Veroff, 1994).
The following research will identify the specific aspects of sex that lead to Sexual
Satisfaction and ultimately, Relational Satisfaction. According to Sprecher and Cate
(2004), the specific sexual behaviors and experiences that contribute to Sexual
Satisfaction and Relational Satisfaction (either directly or indirectly) include: frequency
of sexual behavior, variety and type of sexual behavior, orgasmic frequency and
consistency, sexual communication, and sexual conflict. In terms of frequency of sexual
behavior, married couples early in their marriage have sex on average two times per week
(Call et al., 1995; Laumman et al., 1994; Rao & DeMaris, 1995). Studies have shown that
frequency of sex and Sexual Satisfaction are positively associated; in other words,
couples who have more frequent sex are more sexually satisfied. However, it should be
62
noted that although the frequency of sex declines with age, it does not reflect a decrease
in marital satisfaction (Edwards & Booth, 1994; Laumann et al., 1994). Terman et al.s
(1938) research provides the most plausible explanation; minor discrepancies, as opposed
to large discrepancies, between actual sexual frequency and desired sexual frequency are
associated with marital satisfaction. Therefore, as long as couples are having sex as
frequently as they personally desire, whether it be twice a week or twice a month, they
are satisfied.
Variety and type of sexual behavior also contribute to sexual and Relational
Satisfaction. For example, Greeley (1991) found that couples who engage in some
experimentation and variety in sex are more sexually satisfied. There has not been a great
deal of research, however, investigating what these other varieties and types of sexual
behavior are, other than oral sex. According to Blumstein & Schwartz (1983), there is a
positive association between frequency of oral sex and Sexual Satisfaction, particularly
for men.
Third, orgasmic frequency and consistency contribute to Sexual and Relational
Satisfaction. For example, a positive association has been found between orgasmic
frequency and consistency and Sexual Satisfaction (Birnbaum, Glaubman, & Mikulincer,
2001; Hyde, DeLamater, & Durik, 2001; Singh, Meyer, Zambarano, & Hurlbert 1998). It
has also been shown that orgasmic frequency and consistency is also associated with
greater love for the partner and feelings of being loved in return (Birnbaum et al., 2001),
as well as relationship satisfaction (Young, Denny, Young, & Luquis, 2000). Again, it is
important to note that research has not been conducted to determine the causal direction
between sexual and Relational Satisfaction.
63
Effective communication about sexual issues is also an important element to
satisfying relationships. Studies have shown that the more couples talk about sex, the
greater their Sexual Satisfaction (Byers & Demmons, 1999; Chesney, Blakeney, Cole, &
Chan, 1981) and Relational Satisfaction (Byers & Demmons, 1999; Yelsma, 1986). In
addition to the quantity of conversations about sex, the quality of sexual discussions is
also positively associated with sexual and Relational Satisfaction (Banmen & Vogel,
1985; Cupach & Comstock, 1990). Other researchers examined sexual communication in
terms of how sexual desire is communicated and received, as well as the disclosure of
likes and dislikes. In terms of communicating sexual desire or lack thereof, research has
shown that men initiate sex more often than women (Brown & Auerback, 1981; Byers &
Heinlein, 1989), but men and women are equally likely to accept their partners
initiations (Byers & Heinlein, 1989). From a social exchange perspective, research has
shown that sexual and relationship satisfaction is higher when acceptance of initiations
(e.g. reward) is higher than refusal of initiations (e.g. costs) (Byers & Heinlein, 1989).
Disclosing ones likes and dislikes is also an important aspect of sexual communication
in order to have more fulfilling sexual interactions with ones partner. Research in this
area has shown that more extensive disclosure of sexual likes and dislikes in committed
heterosexual relationships positively predicts Sexual Satisfaction (Byers & Demmons,
1999; MacNeil & Byers, 1997; Purnine & Carey, 1997), as well as Relational Satisfaction
(Byers & Demmons, 1999).
The disclosure of ones sexual likes and dislikes can also be viewed from a social
exchange perspective. Effective sexual disclosures will more than likely lead to couples
engaging in sexual activity that fulfills the likes (e.g. rewards) and avoids the dislikes
64
(e.g. costs) of partners. According to Weiss (2004), it is important for couples to
communicate and reach a sexual agreement on a variety of sexual issues. For example,
couples should agree on the number of times per week they would like to have sex,
places to have sex, and sexual behaviors that are acceptable, as well as alternate
initiations to achieve sexual and marital satisfaction.
One particular study in this area that is interesting to note is that of Litzinger and
Gordon (2005). Litzinger and Gordon examined the relationship between
communication, Sexual Satisfaction, and marital satisfaction. Litzinger and Gordon
identified that communication and Sexual Satisfaction have both independently been
positively correlated to marital satisfaction; however, the goal of their research was to
analyze the effect that communication and Sexual Satisfaction together have on marital
satisfaction. Married couples were randomly chosen from a commercial mailing list and
invited to participate. Marital satisfaction and Sexual Satisfaction were measured using
the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (Spanier, 1976) and a subscale of the Inventory of Specific
Relationship Standards (Baucom, Epstein, Rankin, & Burnett, 1996) respectively.
Litzinger and Gordon found that communication and Sexual Satisfaction both
independently predict marital satisfaction. The role of Sexual Satisfaction is so vital to
marital satisfaction, in fact, that Sexual Satisfaction can partially compensate for the
negative effects of poor communication on marital satisfaction.
To summarize, research has shown that verbal communication (e.g. Bruess &
Pearson, 1993; Hendrick, 1981), time together (e.g. Duck & Pittman, 1994; Reissman et
al., 1993), emotional support (Acitelli & Antonucci, 1994; Xu & Burleson, 2004),
affectionate touch (Gulledge et al., 2003), romantic gestures (e.g. Beatty et al., 1991;
65
Chapman, 1992), and sex (e.g. Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Sprecher & Cate, 2004) all
lead to marital satisfaction. Although each of the behaviors identified as romantic love
communication as outlined in this study have been researched independently and shown
to have a positive effect on Relational/marital Satisfaction, the model as presented in this
study has not been tested as a whole to determine its overall effect on Relational, Sexual,
and Communication Satisfaction. Therefore, the following hypotheses are posed:
H2a: The use of romantic love communication behaviors is positively associated
with Relational Satisfaction.
H2b: The use of romantic love communication behaviors is positively associated
with Sexual Satisfaction.
H2c: The use of romantic love communication behaviors is positively associated
with Communication Satisfaction.
Although some researchers (e.g. Gottman & Levenson, 1986; Huston &
Vangelisti, 1991) argue that negative behaviors are more directly linked to satisfaction
than positive behaviors, others (e.g. Jacobson, Waldron, & Moore, 1980) have found that
positive behaviors are sometimes more closely associated with positive behaviors than
negative behaviors. Perhaps the discrepancy is due to the fact that positive behaviors in
romantic relationships have not been researched as much as negative behaviors. Support
for this notion is given by Bradbury, Fincham, and Beach (2000) who argue that the role
of positive behaviors in romantic relationships has not yet clearly been defined. This
study will advance the understanding that positive behaviors such as romantic love
communication behaviors have on relationships, particularly satisfaction.
66
Equity and satisfaction. Not only has research shown that intimacy and passion
(e.g. Aron & Henkemeyer, 1995; Hendrick et al., 1984), and romantic love
communication behaviors associated with these constructs (e.g. Duck & Pittman, 1994;
Gulledge et al., 2003) lead to satisfaction, but research (e.g. Utne et al., 1984; Walster et
al., 1978) also has shown that equitability plays a role in satisfaction as well. As
discussed previously, equity theory (Adams, 1965), as applied to personal relationships,
is rooted in the idea of an equal balance of rewards (outcome) and costs (inputs).
According to Rusbult & Buunk (1993) satisfaction will be greatest when ones inputoutcome ratio is equal to that of ones partner; when these ratios differ, individuals feel
distress and dissatisfied (p. 182). This sentiment is echoed by Donaghue and Fallon
(2003), who argue that there are clearly costs and benefits associated with being in
intimate relationships. To argue that the distribution of these costs and benefits are not
related to relationship satisfaction is to dismiss a vital element of the dynamics of
intimate relationships.
The previous section identified several romantic love communication behaviors
that lead to satisfaction. However, according to Gottman and Levenson (1992), it is not
just the absolute frequency of positive (or negative) behaviors that most strongly
influence couples satisfaction, but rather the ratio of positive to negative behaviors
(social exchange theory which is the foundation for equity theory). When the ratio of
positive behaviors outweighs negative behaviors, it leads to satisfaction. For example,
research has shown that an equitable balance of maintenance behaviors (Oswald, Clark,
& Kelly, 2004; Stafford & Canary, 1991) leads to Relational Satisfaction. When the ratio
of negative behaviors outweighs positive behaviors, it decreases satisfaction. For
67
example, in terms of Sexual Satisfaction, when partners perceive an inequity in the
frequency or quality of initiations and/or positive responses to the initiations, it may lead
to lower Sexual Satisfaction (Hatfield et al., 1979).
Up to this point, satisfaction has been viewed as a relational characteristic or
outcome. For example, satisfaction was the outcome of equitable relational maintenance
behaviors (Stafford & Canary, 1991). Stafford (2003) contends, however, that satisfaction
can be viewed as not only an outcome but also a driving force in relationships; the most
satisfactory relationships are the most equitable ones and individuals adjust their efforts
(in this case maintenance behaviors) in accordance to their perceived equity in the
relationship (Adams, 1965; Hatfield et al., 1985; Walster et al., 1973) (p.69),
theoretically coinciding with an equity framework. In other words, if individuals are not
satisfied with their relationship, as the hypothesis indicates, they will adjust their efforts
(e.g., relational maintenance behaviors, romantic love communication behaviors) as a
means to restore equity.
Several studies (e.g. Utne et al., 1984; Walster et al., 1978) have found the more
equitable a relationship is perceived to be, the more satisfied one is with the relationship.
Utne et al.s (1984) study found that men and women in equitable relationships were
more content and satisfied with their relationship and felt their relationship was more
stable than those couples who felt they were in an inequitable relationship. In terms of
Sexual Satisfaction, Traupmann et al. (1983) found that men and women in equitable
relationships felt more loving and close and more physically satisfied after sex with their
partner than men and women in inequitable relationships.
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Not only has research shown that an equitable relationship leads to satisfaction as
outlined above, but Stafford and Canary (2006) also provided support for the notion that
equity and satisfaction are predictive of relational maintenance strategies. Over 200
married couples completed measures of equitability, satisfaction, and self-reported
maintenance strategy use. Results indicated that satisfaction is lowest for partners who
perceive they are underbenefited, highest for partners who perceive their relationship as
equitable, and lower for partners who perceive they are overbenefited. Although both
forms of inequitable relationships, underbenefited and overbenefited, resulted in low
levels of satisfaction, underbenefited partners reported a lower level of satisfaction than
overbenefited partners. When the wives perceived the relationship to be equitable,
relational maintenance strategies followed the same curvilinear pattern as satisfaction.
The curvilinear relationship found in this study directly supports the curvilinear
association predicted by equity theory (Buunk & Mutsaers, 1999; Hatfield et al., 1985).
Additionally, 3 of the 5 maintenance behaviors were used significantly less by
underbenefited husbands than overbenefited or equitable husbands. Stafford and Canary
noted that the combination of equity and satisfaction was a more powerful predictor of
relational maintenance behavior usage than either construct alone (based on womens
reports). This finding underscores the importance of studying these two variables together
in this romantic love communication behavior study.
Several studies have provided support for equity in relationships being related to a
higher degree of Relational Satisfaction (e.g. Utne et al., 1984; Walster et al., 1978). The
studies that most directly coincide with the current study have shown that equity in
relational maintenance behaviors (Stafford & Canary, 2006) and sexual behaviors
69
(Lawrance & Byers, 1992; Peplau et al., 1977; Regan & Sprecher, 1995; Walster et al.,
1978) are related to a higher degree of Relational Satisfaction. However, beyond the
sexual component, the relationship between equity, romantic communication behaviors,
and satisfaction has not been established. Because relational maintenance behaviors (e.g.,
positivity, openness, assurances, social networks, and sharing tasks) and romantic love
communication behaviors (e.g., verbal communication, kinesics, time together, emotional
support, affectionate touch, romantic gestures, and sexual touch) both promote the wellbeing of a relationships, it is hypothesized that romantic love behaviors will function in
much the same way that relational maintenance behaviors do. Therefore, it is
hypothesized that:
H3a: Spouses who perceive an equitable exchange of romantic love
communication behaviors, relative to those who perceive an inequitable
exchange, will report a higher degree of Relational Satisfaction.
H3b: Spouses who perceive an equitable exchange of romantic love
communication behaviors, relative to those who perceive an inequitable
exchange, will report a higher degree of Sexual Satisfaction.
The relationship between romantic love communication behavior equitability and
Communication Satisfaction will also be tested. However, previous studies have not been
able to provide definitive support as to whether equity increases communication
satisfaction or not. Therefore, the following research questions will be explored:
RQ2: Will spouses who perceive an equitable exchange of romantic love
communication behaviors, relative to those who perceive an inequitable
exchange, report a higher degree of Communication Satisfaction?
70
In addition to these hypotheses and research questions, several demographic
variables such as gender, age, years married, if previously married, and number of
children will be analyzed to determine which are significantly related to outcomes of
interest. Gender will be analyzed because several researchers have noted gender
differences in romantic love communication behaviors. For example, research has shown
that women tend to initiate touch after marriage (Willis & Briggs, 1992), but men,
however, are the first to say, I love you (Notarius & Johnson; 1982), and initiate touch
in the early stages of a dating relationship (Willis & Briggs; 1992). Researchers have also
noted the gender differences in romantic love with regard to perceptions and attitudes
about love (Areni, Kiecker, & Palan, 1998; Klusmann, 2002; T. Nguyen, Heslin, & M.
Nguyen, 1975; M. Nguyen, Heslin, & T. Nguyen, 1976), its effect on marital satisfaction
(Frisco & Williams, 2003; Pia & Bengston, 1993; Ward, 1993), and reasons for utilizing
(Areni et al., 1998; Olsen, 2003; Willis & Briggs, 1992).
Age and years married are relevant because research has shown that although the
need, perceptions, and desire for Eros love, passion, and intimacy do not decline
throughout ones life (Butler, Walker, Skowronski, & Shannon, 1995; Fiske & Chiriboga,
1990; Traupmann & Hatfield, 1981; Wang & Nguyen, 1995), Eros love, passion, and
intimacy, in fact, do decline (Acker & Davis, 1992; Tucker & Aron, 1993; Reedy, Birren,
& Schaie, 1981). One of the primary reasons, perhaps, is because individuals tend to stop
actively communicating their love to their mate as time goes on (Blumstein & Schwartz,
1983; Call, Sprecher, & Schwartz, 1995; Edwards & Booth, 1994; James, 1983). For
example, research has shown that idioms (Bruess & Pearson, 1993), physical affection
(Guerrero & Andersen, 1991), and sex (Klusmann, 2002) tend to dissipate throughout the
71
life stages of the relationship. Not only does the frequency of sex decline throughout
relationship stages, but the fact that it also declines as one ages is also a consistent
finding (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Call et al., 1995; Edwards & Booth, 1994; James,
1983). Call, Sprecher, and Schwartz (1995) attribute the decline to habituation, which is
the reduction in novelty because of being with the same partner. Habituation explains the
National Survey of Families and Households (NSFH) finding that remarriage was
associated with an increase in marital sex, when controlling for age (Call et al., 1995).
For this reason, number of times married was also analyzed.
The number of children a couple has is also relevant because this factor could
affect the amount of time and energy one has to invest in the relationship and,
subsequently, how satisfied one is with the relationship. Research has found that
parenthood does, in fact, have a negative effect on marital satisfaction. For example,
Tucker and Arons (1993) study sought to measure passionate love and marital
satisfaction across three key transitional points in the life cycle: engagement to marriage,
childlessness to parenthood, and children living at home to empty nest. They found that
the correlations between marital satisfaction and passionate love decrease across the life
cycle particularly after marriage and parenthood.
The relationships between equity theory and satisfaction have been a topic of
interest for many researchers for many decades; however, continued research as proposed
in this study will broaden researchers understanding of theoretical components of
relationships. As research continues to grow in this area, this study will assist in
understanding the complex nature of romantic love communication behaviors in order to
help couples sustain longer and more fulfilling relationships.
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Chapter III
73
understanding the effect of (in)equitability of romantic love communication usage on
these three aspects of satisfaction.
Pilot Study
The following section will address the research design and methodology
for the pilot study.
74
Individuals in dating relationships were not used because one of the variables in
this study is Sexual Satisfaction. Although some dating couples have premarital sex, not
all do. In addition, there was a danger of individuals who were in a sexual, non-married
relationship omitting the Sexual Satisfaction questions in an effort to provide a socially
desirable response. Non-probability and snowball sampling were used. Participants came
from two different categories- Kent State University students and other individuals
contacted through snowball sampling. The first category consisted of Kent State
University students who were enrolled in an undergraduate introductory human
communication course, married, and at least 18 years of age. Many undergraduate
students, however, were not married. Therefore, these unmarried students, as well as the
married students, recruited research participants via snowball sampling from their own
social network who were married and at least 18 years of age. The individuals obtained
through snowball sampling made up the second category of research participants.
Overall, there were one hundred and thirty nine participants for the pilot study
(n= 107 females; 32 male) and 77% were females. The average age of the participants
was 44 years old. Caucasian was the dominant ethnicity comprising 89% (n= 124) of the
sample. Most of the participants (n= 117; 85%) had only been married one time and the
average years married was approximately 18 years. Forty percent (n= 56) of the
participants did not have children, 25% (n= 36) had one child, 24% (n= 34) had two, and
9% (n= 13) had three or more. A high school diploma was the highest degree earned for
45% (n= 62) of the participants. Thirty six percent (n= 51) held a bachelors degree, 15%
(n= 21) held a masters, and 3% (n= 4) held a doctorate degree. The combined income for
most of the participants was $50,000-$99,000 (n= 67; 48%).
75
76
providing their consent. Participants were then asked to answer demographic questions
and the open-ended question. Participants were asked to complete the survey only once.
Instrument.
Romantic love communication. Participants were asked to provide their own
response to the open-ended question, How do you communicate romantic love to your
spouse?
Results.
Data analysis. The qualitative data from the open-ended questions was analyzed
to identify patterns and trends in the responses in order to answer the following research
question:
RQ1: What communication behaviors are used to express romantic love?
First, the author read the responses to the open ended question and engaged in
open coding (Strauss, 1987) and analysis of 20% (n= 28) of the data to achieve intercoder reliability. Through the process of open coding, categories were built, named, and
had attributes assigned to them. A codebook (e.g., Weston et al., 2001) was used to list
the categories according to the different themes that emerged, the code names of each
category, examples of each category, and the number of times each category was
referenced in participants responses. The themes for each category were established
using Owens (1984) three criteria: recurrence, repetition, and forcefulness. Although
particular categories for the means by which individuals communicate romantic love
were indicated in previous literature, open coding was used to identify categories,
themes, examples, and/or attributes that had not been identified in existing literature. As
77
Lindlof and Taylor (2005, p. 215) contend, A priori theory can sensitize one to what
could be important, but it should not override or overshadow the meanings that the
researcher discovers in the scenes being studied.
Through the process of open coding seven categories emerged based on recurring
themes. The seven categories include: verbal, kinesics, time together, social support,
tactile, romance, and sex. The same data were then analyzed by another coder to check
for inter-coder reliability. Scotts (1955) pi was used to determine inter-coder agreement.
The analysis completed by the second coder supported the categories identified by the
author with an inter-coder reliability of 89% which is considered very good (Landis &
Koch, 1977). The author then completed the coding of all the data. Table 1 identifies the
categories and the number of times the category was cited.
78
Table 1
Question #1: Categories Derived from Open Coding
____________________________________________________________
Category
Examples
# of times
cited
Percent
_________________________________________________________________
Verbal
Comm.
Compliments
Words of appreciation
Encouraging/kind words
Saying I love you
Secretive language
86
23%
Kinesics
Eye contact
A special look
Smiling
29
8%
Time Together
Take trips
Go places together
Spend time together
20
5%
Social Support
43
11%
Tactile
Hold hands
Hugging
Backrubs/Massages
Kissing
Holding/snuggling
145
38%
Romance
Walk on a beach
Buy flowers
Write love letters/notes
36
9%
Sex
Sexual Intercourse
22
6%
Lingerie
__________________________________________________________________
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The open-ended question regarding ways in which romantic love is
communicated supported the a priori categories as identified by the literature: verbal
communication, kinesics, time together, emotional support, affectionate touch, romantic
gestures, and sexual touch. However, it should be noted that results from this open-ended
question revealed that emotional support can be achieved through other means of support
as well. For example, doing chores and acts of kindness can alleviate a spouses stress or
bring joy to his/her life, thus ultimately providing emotional support.
Study 1
The following section will address the research design and methodology for Study
1.
Sample and population. Married individuals were the units of analysis for Study
1. Non-probability sampling was used. Participants included individuals from two
different categories: participants from the community and paid participants recruited
through Qualtrics.com. Participants from the community were sought first, then paid
participants were recruited. Because the survey was still open to volunteer participants at
the time paid participants responded, the exact number of volunteer versus paid
participants is unknown. Participants from both categories were married and at least 18
years of age. Only the husband or the wife participated in the study, but not, both, in
order to maintain an independent sample. Based on the demographic makeup of the
participants from the community, particular parameters were set for those participants
recruited through Qualtrics.com in order to obtain a more representative sample of
different ethnicities and age groups. The parameters indicated that at least 50% of the
Qualtics participants needed to represent any ethnicity other than Caucasian, 100
80
participants needed to represent the 18-29 age group, and 60+ participants needed to
represent the 60 and older age group.
Overall, five hundred and ninety two participants completed the survey for Study
1 with a fairly equal number of each gender (n= 281 females; 279 male). The sample
represented all age groups relatively equally as well (n= 114 in the 18-29 age group, n=
88 in the 30-39 age group, n= 111 in the 40-49 age group, n= 99 in the 50-59 age group,
and n= 146 in the 60+ age group). Caucasian was the dominant ethnicity comprising 67%
(n= 373) of the sample. Most of the participants (n= 426; 77%) had only been married
one time and the average years married was approximately 18 years. Forty six percent
(n= 256) of the participants did not have children, 24% (n= 133) had one child, 20% (n=
112) had two, 6% (n= 36) had three, 2% (n= 11) had four, 1% (n= 4) had five, and less
than 1% (n= 2) had 6. A high school diploma was the highest degree earned for 37% (n=
204) of the participants. Thirty five percent (n= 197) held a bachelors degree, 19% (n=
104) held a masters, and 9% (n= 51) held a doctorate degree. The combined income for
most of the participants was $50,000-$99,000 (n= 266; 48%). Any missing value in a
variable was omitted from the analysis for that variable; thus, the sample size varied for
different items based on the number of individuals who completed that item. Table 2
provides descriptive statistics for all of the demographic variables used in this study.
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Table 2
Descriptive statistics for demographic variables_________________________
Variable
Frequency
Mean
Mode
17.86
14.01
.98
1.15
SD__
Age:
18-29
30-39
40-49
50-59
60+
Gender :
Male
Female
114
88
111
99
146
279
281
Years Married
Previously married
Yes
No
129
426
Children at Home
Educational Level
High school
Bachelors
Masters
Doctorate
204
197
104
51
Ethnicity
African American
Asian
Caucasian
American Indian
Pacific Islander
Other
70
45
373
14
1
52
Household Income
$24,000 or less
$25,000-$49,000
$50,000-$99,000
$100,000+
39
126
266
122
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Data collection procedures. Individuals were invited to participate in the study
via multiple methods. First, a survey invitation was posted in various places within the
community using email, facebook.com, twitter.com, LinkedIn.com, and
scienceofrelationships.com. The invitation clearly explained the scope of the study,
identified who was eligible to participate, and provided a link to the online survey located
at Qualtrics.com.
The other category of research participants included paid survey takers through
Qualtrics.com. Using Qualtrics.com recruitment strategies, a panel that met the survey
and quota criteria was assembled and survey invitations were sent out. Quatrics
monitored the survey daily, checking for quality and sending new invitations as needed.
The data was then screened using a general quality control check that removed any
responses that were inattentive (participant randomly selected answers), duplicate, and/or
illegitimate. Once the quota was met and all of the necessary data was collected, the
survey was closed.
The primary method of data collection was self-report data through online
questionnaires. Prior to taking the survey, participants read instructional material, the IRB
consent form, and the scope of the study. The directions clearly stated that participation
in the study was purely voluntary, that responses were anonymous to protect participants
privacy, and that they could terminate their participation in the survey at any time without
penalty. Directions explained that only one partner in the marriage could participate in
the study. The instructions also clearly explained to participants that by clicking on the
link, they were providing their consent. Participants were asked to only complete the
survey once. Participants answered demographic questions and then completed the
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Romantic Love Communication Scale, two global measures of relational equity (Hatfield
et al., 1979; Sprecher, 1986, 1988), two global measures of romantic love communication
behavior equity (Hatfield et al., 1979; Sprecher, 1986, 1988), a measure of marital
satisfaction (Norton, 1983), a measure of Sexual Satisfaction (Hudson, 1998; Hudson,
Harrison, & Crosscup, 1981), and a measure of Communication Satisfaction (Hecht,
1978).
Instruments.
Romantic love communication. Participants completed the Romantic Love
Communication Scale (RLCS, see Appendix A). The RLCS is a comprehensive
taxonomy of romantic love communication behaviors identified in previous literature and
collapsed into categories. The RLCS measures ones own use, as well as ones partners
use, of the seven categories of romantic love communication: those related to intimacy
(verbal communication, kinesics, time together, emotional support, affectionate touch),
and those related to passion (romantic gestures and sexual behaviors). The scale measures
romantic love communication behaviors in total as opposed to dimensions. The scale
includes 45 statements where participants rate the degree to which their spouse
communicated romantic love to them using a particular behavior. Using the same 45
statements, participants were then asked to rate the degree to which they communicated
romantic love to their spouse using a particular behavior. Responses were rated using a 7
point Likert scale ranging from 1 (never) to 7 (always). The statements tapped both the
individual and the spouses use of each of the romantic love communication behaviors
for several reasons. First, including partner data is important because, according to
Thiabaut and Kelley (1959), it is the partners behavior that is rewarding. Additionally, it
84
is the partners behavior, rather than ones own, that is more directly associated with an
individuals perception of the relationship (Canary & Cupach, 1988). By collecting data
on both the individual and the partners use of romantic love communication behaviors,
analyses can be performed in Study 1 on the (in)equitability of romantic love
communication behavior use and how that affects satisfaction. Statements on the RLCS
include such things as My spouse hugs me and My spouse tells me he/she loves me
(See Appendix A). Cronbachs alpha reliability coefficients for the RLCS in Study 1
were .977 (Partners use) and .973 (Individuals use).
Equity.
Relational equity. Relational equity was measured using the Hatfield Global
Measure of Equity (Hatfield et al., 1979; 7 items) and the Sprecher Global Measure of
Equity (Sprecher, 1986, 1988; 7 items) (see Appendix B). Both measures assess the
equity of ones relationship overall. The Hatfield Global Measure of Equity asks:
Consider what you put into your relationship, compared to what you get out of itand
what your partner puts in compared to what he or she gets out of it, how does your
relationship stack up? Responses range on a 7 point Likert scale from (1) I am getting
a much better deal than my partner to (7) My partner is getting a much better deal than I
am. The Hatfield Global Measure of Equity has been used in several studies (e.g., Cate et
al., 1982; Michaels et al., 1984) and has high face validity and parsimony.
The Sprecher Global Measure of Equity states, Sometimes things get out of
balance in a relationship and one partner contributes more to the relationship than the
other. Consider all the times when the exchange in your relationship has become
unbalanced and one partner contributed more than the other for a time. When your
85
relationship becomes unbalanced, which is more likely to be the one who contributes
more? Response options range on a 7 point Likert scale from (1) My partner is much
more likely to be the one to contribute more to (7) I am much more likely to be the one to
contribute more. For both the Hatfield and the Sprecher measures, lower scores indicate
being overbenefited, moderate scores indicate being equitably treated, and higher scores
indicate being underbenefited. The Sprecher Global Measure of Equity is credited for
being possibly more sensitive to the assessment of mild and occasional forms of
inequity (Sprecher, 2001, p. 479).
Several studies (e.g. Canary & Stafford, 2001; Sprecher, 1986, 1988) have
combined the Hatfield and Sprecher Global Measures of Equity to create a two-item
equity Scale. According to Sprecher (1986), the Hatfield measure assesses stable
resources, whereas the Sprecher measure assesses more dynamic resources. Combining
the two provides a more reliable and precise measure of equity than either measure alone.
The two measures, when summed, yield a scale ranging from 2 to 14. Scores between 7-9
represent the midpoint and indicate an equitable relationship. Scores between 2-6 indicate
being overbenefited and scores between 10-14 indicate being underbenefited. Examples
of both measures are included in Appendix B.
Romantic love communication behavior equity. Romantic love communication
behavior equity was measured using modified versions of the Hatfield Global Measure of
Equity (Hatfield et al., 1979; 7 items) and the Sprecher Global Measure of Equity
(Sprecher, 1986, 1988; 7 items) (see Appendix C). The modified Hatfield Global
Measure of Equity asks: Considering how often you use behaviors that communicate
romantic love to your spouse, compared to how often your spouse uses behaviors that
86
communicate romantic love to you, how does the exchange stack up? Responses
range on a 7 point Likert scale from (1) I am getting a much better deal than my partner
to (7) My partner is getting a much better deal than I am. The unmodified Hatfield Global
Measure of Equity has been used in several studies (e.g., Cate et al., 1982; Michaels et
al., 1984) and has high face validity and parsimony.
The modified Sprecher Global Measure of Equity states, Sometimes things get
out of balance in a relationship and one partner contributes more to the relationship than
the other. Consider all the times when the exchange of romantic love communication
behaviors in your relationship has become unbalanced and one partner contributed more
than the other for a time. When your relationship becomes unbalanced, which is more
likely to be the one who contributes more? Response options range on a 7 point Likert
scale from (1) My partner is much more likely to be the one to contribute more to (7) I
am much more likely to be the one to contribute more. For both the Hatfield and the
Sprecher measures, lower scores indicate being overbenefited, moderate scores indicate
being equitably treated, and higher scores indicate being underbenefited.
As in the measure of relational equity, the Hatfield and Sprecher Global Measure
of Equity was combined to create a two-item equity scale. The two measures, when
summed, yield a Scale ranging from 2 to 14. Scores between 7-9 represent the midpoint
and indicate an equitable relationship. Scores between 2-6 indicate being overbenefited
and scores between 10-14 indicate being underbenefited. Examples of both modified
measures are included in Appendix C.
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measure of marital satisfaction. Participants evaluate their marital quality by responding
to five items using a 7 point Likert scale ranging from very strong disagreement to
very strong agreement. The last question asks respondents to rate their degree of
happiness in their marriage on a 10 point scale that ranges from very unhappy to
perfectly happy. The Cronbach alpha reliability reported from various studies utilizing
this scale range from .88-.96. Construct validity of the scale has been established
(Norton, 1983) and evidence of concurrent (Schumm et al., 1986) and criterion-related
(Baxter & Bullis, 1986) validity has been found. According to Rubin, Palmgreen, and
Sypher (2004, p. 302), the QMI appears to be a valid and reliable means of assessing
marital satisfaction. The QMI can be found in Appendix D.
Sexual Satisfaction. Sexual Satisfaction was measured using the scale of Sexual
Satisfaction (ISS; Hudson et al., 1981; Hudson, 1998). The ISS is a global measure of
Sexual Satisfaction consisting of 25 items. Participants evaluate their Sexual Satisfaction
by responding to items such as I feel that my sex life is lacking in quality and My
spouse does not satisfy me sexually. Responses range on a 7 point Likert scale from 1
(none of the time) to 7 (all of the time). Internal consistency and test-retest reliability
were found to be in excess of .90, and the scale has a discriminant validity coefficient of
.76 (Hudson et al., 1981, p. 157). The ISS can be found in Appendix E.
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of Communication Satisfaction within the relationship and consists of 19 items.
Participants assessed their own level of satisfaction with conversations they have had
with their spouse by indicating the degree to which they agree or disagree with each
statement. Examples of items include, I feel that I can talk about anything with my
partner and My partner changes the topic when his/her feelings are brought into the
conversation. Responses range on a continuum of 1 (disagree) to 7 (agree). Hecht (1978)
reported split-half reliabilities ranging from .90 to .97. Other researchers have reported
coefficient alphas ranging from .72 to .93 (e.g. Buerkel-Rothfuss & Bell, 1987; Hecht &
Marston, 1987). Sufficient reliabilities were found even when modified versions were
used. High content and convergent validity for the inventory has also been found (Hecht,
1978). The modified Interpersonal Communication Satisfaction Inventory can be found
in Appendix F.
Data analysis. Exploratory Factor Analysis was used to identify a minimum
number of traits, or factors, that account for the variance in the scales in Study 1.
Exploratory factor analysis (EFA) was used to analyze the data for the following reasons.
First, the indicators used in the RLCS fall under specific dimensions of the construct of
romantic love based on the literature; however, they had not yet been confirmed. Second,
there was not any pre-established theory predicting that an indicator variable would load
on a particular factor, as is the case in confirmatory factor analysis. EFA is appropriate
when a researcher wants to uncover the underlying factor structure of the variables
through factor loadings using the a priori assumption that any indicator may be associated
with any factor (Osborne & Costello, 2005). Principle component analysis (PCA), the
89
simplest type of factor analysis, was used to extract the components/factors. The goal of
PCA is to have fewer components than items (Kerlinger, 1986).
Cattells (1966) scree test was also used to determine how many factors to retain
for rotation. According to Costello and Osbornes (2005) article discussing best practices
for exploratory factor analysis, the scree test is the best choice for researchers to
determine how many factors to retain because of its accuracy, ease of use, and
availability in statistical software. Per Cattells guidelines, the factors above the elbow
were retained and those below it were rejected (DeVellis, 1991). A varimax rotation was
used to simplify and clarify the data structure and was chosen to keep the factors
statistically independent of one another in order to produce orthogonal factors (DeVellis,
1991). Items that showed at least a .60 loading on their primary factor and less than .40
on the secondary factor for both Individual and Partner responses were retained.
Because the Romantic Love Communication Scale (RLCS) was developed by the
author, no previous data on reliability was available. As this survey is an attitude
measure, the initial test should be, according to Sax (1989; p. 502), an internal
consistency measure which seeks to select items that appear to measure each separate
area of interest. Two areas of focus are found in the RLCS scale, each having the same
question. The first group is the respondant answering about his/her spouse (Partner) and
the second is the respondant answering about his/herself (Individual).
The analysis for Partners use originally yielded three componenets. The scree test
showed three to four components. A forced four factor solution was run; however, using
the .60/.40 decision rule, none of the items were valid for a fourth component. Therefore
a forced three-factor solution was run. Using the .60/.40 decision rule, 20 items were
90
eliminated. Once these items were eliminated, the factor analysis was rerun with the 25
items that were retained using varimax rotation and a forced, three-factor solution. The
three-factor solution accounted for 71% of the variance. The three factors include (1)
Intimacy, (2) Romantic Gestures, and (3) Sexual Behaviors. Table 3 provides a summary
of the final factor loadings for retained items.
Factor 1, Intimacy (eigenvalue = 13.12, Cronbach alpha = .97), accounted for
52.47% of the total variance after rotation. The factor included all five dimensions of
Intimacy: verbal communication, kinesics, time together, emotional support, and
affectionate touch. This 15-item factor reflected the emotional investment component of
relationships (M = 5.07, SD = 20.41).
Factor 2, Romantic Gestures (eigenvalue = 3.19, Cronbach alpha = .89),
accounted for 12.77% of the total variance. It consisted of only items found in the
Romantic Gestures dimension of Passion. This 6-item factor reflected behaviors that set
the mood for passion (M = 2.63, SD = 8.08).
Factor 3, Sexual Behaviors (eigenvalue = 1.44, Cronbach alpha = .90), accounted
for 5.76% of the total variance. It consisted of only items found in the Sexual Behaviors
dimension of Passion. This 4-item factor reflected behaviors that are sexually oriented
(M = 3.49, SD = 6.34).
91
Table 3
Final Factor Loadings for Retained Romantic Love Communication Behaviors (RLCB):
Partners Use
______________________________________________________________________________
Romantic Love Communication Behavior Factors
______________________________________________________________________________
RLCB
Intimacy
Romantic Sexual
M(SD)
Gestures Behaviors________
Intimacy
My spouse cares for me
My spouse gives me emotional support
My spouse is there for me when I need him/her
My spouse listens to me
My spouse speaks kindly to me
My spouse looks at me when we are talking
My spouse takes time to understand my feelings
My spouse helps me grow as a person
My spouse hugs me
My spouse finds time to spend with me
My spouse shares personal feelings/thoughts w/ me
My spouse smiles at me
My spouse invites me to do activities with him/her
My spouse tells me he/she loves me
My spouse cuddles with me
.86
.86
.84
.84
.82
.82
.81
.75
.74
.74
.73
.73
.72
.72
.67
.01
.19
.08
.17
.12
.10
.30
.32
.20
.33
.26
.21
.30
.04
.34
.18
.12
.06
.04
.16
.14
.13
.15
.33
.15
.22
.30
.21
.36
.35
5.85(1.54)
5.06(1.72)
5.52(1.59)
5.21(1.53)
5.19(1.55)
5.46(1.49)
4.76(1.70)
4.68(1.79)
5.02(1.75)
4.70(1.65)
4.77(1.76)
4.89(1.54)
4.89(1.67)
5.36(1.80)
4.52(1.85)
Romantic Gestures
My spouse suggests taking walks in the moonlight
My spouse surprises me with dinners by candlelight
My spouse invites me to watch the sunset together
My spouse invites me to lay in front of the fire
My spouse buys gifts for no special occasion
My spouse invites me for walks
.09
.10
.22
.09
.34
.40
.88
.84
.79
.74
.64
.64
.19
.22
.20
.30
.14
.11
2.26(1.55)
2.09(1.48)
2.63(1.72)
2.24(1.71)
3.18(1.70)
3.39(1.85)
Sexual Behaviors
My spouse initiates sexual intercourse
.19
.19
.86 3.76(1.80)
My spouse initiates foreplay
.28
.30
.80 3.57(1.77)
My spouse suggests experimentation/variety in sex .18
.40
.74 2.98(1.84)
My spouse talks with me about sex
.40
.35
.67 3.80(1.83)
______________________________________________________________________________
Eigenvalue
13.12
3.19
1.44
Variance Explained
52.47
12.77
5.76
Cronbach Alpha
.97
.89
.90
M
5.07
2.63
3.49
SD
20.41
8.08
6.34
N
512
519
524
92
The analysis for Individuals use yielded four factors; however, the scree plot
indicated three to four factors. A forced three-factor and a forced four-factor solution
were run to determine which accounted for the greatest variance. The forced four- factor
solution produced the greater variance and resulted in the following factors: (1) Intimacy
(2) Non-sexual nonverbal behaviors, (3) Sexual Behaviors, and (4) Romantic Gestures.
Using the .60/.40 decision rule, 20 items were eliminated. The forced four-factor solution
was rerun with the 25 remaining items. The new factor loadings resulted in two
additional items needing to be eliminated. The factor analysis was rerun with the 18
remaining items using varimax rotation and a forced, four-factor solution. The new factor
loadings resulted in four additional items needing to be eliminated. These remaining
items were the last remaining items for the component Non-sexual nonverbal
behaviors, therefore, confirming the original three factors (1) Intimacy, (2) Sexual
Behaviors, and (3) Romantic Gestures. The forced three-factor solution accounted for
66.13% of the total variance. Table 4 provides a summary of the final factor loadings for
retained items.
Factor 1, Intimacy (eigenvalue = 14.57, Cronbach alpha = .97), accounted for
48.58% of the total variance after rotation. The factor included all five dimensions of
Intimacy: verbal communication, kinesics, time together, emotional support, and
affectionate touch. This 19-item factor reflected the emotional investment component of
relationships (M = 5.26, SD = 22.08). The factor loadings for Intimacy for Individual use
resulted in four additional items being retained. They include: I tell my spouse I
appreciate him/her, I compliment my spouse, I spend time with my spouse without
93
the need to talk, and I eat dinner with my spouse. All of the other retained items were
the same compared to Partners use.
Factor 2, Romantic Gestures (eigenvalue = 3.76, Cronbach alpha = .90),
accounted for 12.54% of the total variance. It consisted of only items found in the
Romantic Gestures dimension of Passion. This 7-item factor reflected behaviors that set
the mood for passion (M = 3.10, SD = 9.63). All of the retained items were the same
compared to Partners use with the exception of one additional items, I give my spouse
cards.
Factor 3, Sexual Behaviors (eigenvalue = 1.51, Cronbach alpha = .89), accounted
for 5.02% of the total variance. It consisted of only items found in the Sexual Behaviors
dimension of Passion. This 4-item factor reflected behaviors that are sexually oriented
(M = 3.71, SD = 6.31) and were the exact same items retained under Partners use.
94
Table 4
Final Factor Loadings for Retained Romantic Love Communication Behaviors (RLCB):
Individuals Use
______________________________________________________________________________
Romantic Love Communication Behavior Factors
______________________________________________________________________________
RLCB
Intimacy
Romantic Sexual
M(SD)
Gestures Behaviors
______________________________________________________________________________
Intimacy
I give my spouse emotional support.
I care for my spouse.
I am there for my spouse when he/she needs me.
I look at my spouse when we are talking
I take the time to understand my spouses feelings.
I speak kindly to my spouse.
I listen to my spouse.
I smile at my spouse
I find time to spend with my spouse
I invite my spouse to do activities with me.
I tell my spouse I appreciate him/her
I hug my spouse
I compliment my spouse
I tell my spouse I love him/her
I help my spouse grow as a person.
I share personal feelings and thoughts w/ my spouse
I spend time with my spouse without the need to talk
I suggest spending one on one time together
I eat dinner with my spouse.
.84
.81
.81
.80
.80
.79
.79
.78
.78
.75
.74
.74
.71
.70
.70
.67
.66
.66
.64
.11
-.01
.02
.10
.23
.16
.17
.24
.26
.29
.31
.19
.31
.07
.29
.25
.28
.38
.08
.08
.07
- .02
.04
.10
.11
-.02
.24
.15
.15
.23
.32
.27
.30
.21
.26
.25
.26
.06
5.47(1.45)
6.06(1.32)
5.77(1.35)
5.57(1.32)
5.27(1.40)
5.36(1.34)
5.61(1.24)
5.11(1.45)
5.10(1.49)
5.15(1.49)
4.88(1.64)
5.12(1.65)
4.79(1.52)
5.53(1.66)
4.97(1.52)
4.93(1.76)
4.86(1.54)
4.68(1.64)
5.64(1.50)
Romantic Gestures
I suggest taking walks in the moonlight.
I invite my spouse to watch the sunset together.
I invite my spouse to lay in front of the fire.
I surprise my spouse with dinners by candlelight
I invite my spouse for walks
I buy my spouse gifts for no special occasion
I give my spouse cards
.05
.15
.05
.12
.33
.36
.34
.84
.83
.80
.78
.68
.61
.61
.25
.17
.30
.21
.13
.19
.02
2.62(1.75)
2.84(1.78)
2.39(1.77)
2.53(1.66)
3.66(1.71
3.71(1.72)
3.89(1.81)
Sexual Behaviors
I initiate foreplay.
.21
.26
.85 3.84(1.80)
I initiate sexual intercourse.
.19
.21
.85 3.93(1.78)
I suggest experimentation and variety in sex.
.10
.37
.77 3.27(1.90)
I talk with my spouse about sex.
.39
.40
.62 3.86(1.84)
_____________________________________________________________________________
95
Eigenvalue
Variance Explained
Cronbach Alpha
14.57
48.58
.97
3.76
12.54
.90
1.51
5.02
.89
M
SD
N
5.26
22.08
491
3.10
9.63
501
3.71
6.31
506
Data was analyzed using multiple linear regression analyses. The first variable
under analysis in this study was relational equity, where relational equity was the
predictor and romantic love communication behavior use was the criterion variable.
Separate analyses of both the individuals use and the perception of spouses use were
conducted.
To assess the relationship between equitable/inequitable relationships and the use
of romantic love communication behaviors, the following hypotheses were posed:
H1a: Individuals in an equitable relationship will report using Romantic Love
Communication Behaviors (RLCB) significantly more often than individuals
in an inequitable relationship (overbenefited and underbenefited).
Multiple regression analysis was used to test H1a and H1b based on the scores
from the Romantic Love Communication Scale (RLCS) and the Hatfield (Hatfield et al.,
1979) and Sprecher (Sprecher, 1986, 1988) relational equity measures. Participants were
categorized as underbenefited (score= 10-14), equitable (score= 7-9), or overbenefited
(score= 2-6). From that, three separate dichotomous/dummy variables were created:
96
underbenefited (0,1), equitable (0,1), and overbenefited (0,1). Equitable participants were
left out of the regression analysis as the referent group. Scores between 7-9 represented
the midpoint and indicated an equitable relationship.
The second variable under investigation in this study was satisfaction, where
romantic love communication behavior use was the predictor variable and satisfaction
(relational, sexual, or communication) was the criterion variable. To analyze the
relationship between romantic love communication behavior use and Relational
Satisfaction, the following hypothesis was posed:
H2a: The use of romantic love communication behaviors is positively associated
with Relational Satisfaction.
Multiple regression analysis was used to test H2a based on the scores from the
Romantic Love Communication Scale (RLCS) and Nortons (1983) Relational
Satisfaction measure. The hypothesis was tested with regard to ones perception of
spouses use and ones own use of romantic love communication behaviors.
To analyze the relationship between romantic love communication behavior use
and Sexual Satisfaction, the following hypothesis was posed:
H2b: The use of romantic love communication behaviors is positively associated
with Sexual Satisfaction.
Multiple regression analysis was used to test H2b based on the scores from the
Romantic Love Communication Scale (RLCS) and Hudson, Harrison, & Crosscups
(1981) Sexual Satisfaction scale. The hypothesis was tested with regard to ones
perception of spouses use and ones own use of romantic love communication behaviors.
To analyze the relationship between romantic love communication behavior use
97
and Sexual Satisfaction, the following hypothesis was posed:
H2c: The use of romantic love communication behaviors is positively associated
with Communication Satisfaction.
Multiple regression analysis was used to test H2c based on the scores from the
Romantic Love Communication Scale (RLCS) and Hechts (1978) Communication
Satisfaction inventory. The hypothesis was tested with regard to ones perception of
spouses use and ones own use of romantic love communication behaviors.
Satisfaction was also analyzed in connection with the (in)equitability of romantic
love communication behavior use. Romantic love communication behavior
(in)equitability was the predictor variable and satisfaction (relational, sexual, or
communication) was the criterion variable. To analyze the relationship between the
(in)equitability of romantic love communication behavior use and Relational Satisfaction,
the following hypothesis was posed:
H3a: Spouses who perceive an equitable exchange of romantic love
communication behaviors, relative to those who perceive an inequitable
exchange (over or underbenefited), will report a higher degree of relational
satisfaction.
Multiple regression analysis was used to test H3a based on the scores from the
modified versions of the Hatfield (Hatfield et al., 1979) and Sprecher (Sprecher, 1986,
1988) relational equity measures. Instead of measuring relational equity, the modified
versions measured the equitability of romantic love communication behavior use. As in
the relational equity measures, participants were categorized as underbenefited (score=
10-14), equitable (score= 7-9), or overbenefited (score= 2-6). From that, three separate
98
dichotomous/dummy variables were created: underbenefited (0,1), equitable (0,1), and
overbenefited (0,1). Equitable participants were left out of the regression analysis as the
referent group. Scores between 7-9 represented the midpoint and indicated an equitable
relationship. Satisfaction was measured using Nortons (1983) Relational Satisfaction
measure.
To analyze the relationship between the (in)equitability of romantic love
communication behavior use and Sexual Satisfaction, the following hypothesis was
posed:
H3b: Spouses who perceive an equitable exchange of romantic love
communication behaviors, relative to those who perceive an inequitable exchange
(over or underbenefited), will report a higher degree of sexual satisfaction.
Multiple regression analysis was used to test H3b based on the scores from the
modified versions of the Hatfield (Hatfield et al., 1979) and Sprecher (Sprecher, 1986,
1988) relational equity measures. Participants were categorized as underbenefited (score=
10-14), equitable (score= 7-9), or overbenefited (score= 2-6). From that, three separate
dichotomous/dummy variables were created: underbenefited (0,1), equitable (0,1), and
overbenefited (0,1). Equitable participants were left out of the regression analysis as the
referent group. Scores between 7-9 represented the midpoint and indicated an equitable
relationship. Satisfaction was measured using Hudson, Harrison, & Crosscups (1981)
Sexual Satisfaction scale.
To analyze the relationship between the (in)equitability of romantic love
communication behavior use and Communication Satisfaction, the following research
99
question was posed:
RQ2: Will spouses who perceive an equitable exchange of romantic love
communication behaviors, relative to those who perceive an inequitable
exchange (over or underbenefited), report a higher degree of communication
satisfaction?
Multiple regression analysis was used to test RQ2 based on the scores from the
modified version of the Hatfield (Hatfield et al., 1979) and Sprecher (Sprecher, 1986,
1988) relational equity measure. Participants were categorized as underbenefited (score=
10-14), equitable (score= 7-9), or overbenefited (score= 2-6). From that, three separate
dichotomous/dummy variables were created: underbenefited (0,1), equitable (0,1), and
overbenefited (0,1). Equitable participants were left out of the regression analysis as the
referent group. Scores between 7-9 represented the midpoint and indicated an equitable
relationship. Satisfaction was measured using Hechts (1978) Communication
Satisfaction inventory.
Chapter IV
Results
Table 5 provides descriptive statistics for all of the continuous variables used in
this study.
100
Table 5
Descriptive statistics for continuous variables
________________________________________________________________
Variable
SD
Years Married
553
17.86
14.01
Children at Home
554
.98
1.15
536
4.11
1.23
520
4.40
1.13
Relational Satisfaction*
521
5.88
1.48
Sexual Satisfaction*
508
5.11
1.20
Communication Satisfaction*
506
5.27
1.12
__________________________________________________________________
*Responses based on a 7 point Likert scale
Correlation matrices of all of the predictor and criterion variables in the study
were examined to analyze the interrelationships amongst them (see Table 6). There were
two large correlations. First, there was a significant positive correlation between the
Romantic Love Communication Scale (RLCS)- spouses use and individuals use
(r = .84, N= 520, p < .005, two tailed). Because these variables were both predictor
variables in H2, the high correlation may suggest multicollinearity, making it difficult to
draw inferences about the relative contribution of each predictor variable to the success
of the model. Second, there was a significant positive correlation between Relational
Satisfaction and Communication Satisfaction (r = .71, N= 506, p < .005, two tailed), both
of which were criterion variables. Medium correlations existed between both RLCS-
101
spouses use and individuals use and the three types of Satisfaction. Low correlations
existed between years married and children at home, RLCS- spouses use, RLCSindividuals use, and Sexual Satisfaction. An inter-item correlation of RLCBs can be
found in Appendix G for Spouses Use and Appendix H for Individuals Use.
Table 6
Correlations between all predictor and criterion variables
______________________________________________________________________
1
1 Years Married
--
-.18**
-.23**
-.23** -.02
-.20** -.04
2 Children at Home
--
--
-.05
-.03
-.07
.01
3 RLCS-Spouse
--
--
--
.84**
.65**
.58** .64**
4 RLCS- Individual
--
--
--
--
.50**
.52** .51**
5 Relation Satisf.
--
--
--
--
--
.51** .71**
6 Sexual Satisf.
--
--
--
--
--
--
7 Comm. Satisf.
--
--
--
--
--
--
.10*
.66**
--
________________________________________________________________________
*p < .05; ** p < .01
To address all of the hypotheses and research question in this study, hierarchical
regression analyses were performed. The first step was to control for the following
demographic variables by entering them in a block as independent variables: age, gender,
years married, previously married, children at home, educational level, ethnicity, and
household income. The second step was to enter the main variable (i.e. H1= Relational
102
Equity; H2= Romantic Love Communication Use; H3= Romantic Love Communication
Equity) in a second block as an independent variable. The third step was to enter the
dependent variable (i.e. H1= Romantic Love Communication use, H2= Satisfaction, H3=
Satisfaction).
Relational equity as predictor of Romantic Love Communication use
The first hypothesis, H1, examined whether the use of Romantic Love
Communication Behaviors could be accounted for by the demographic and Relational
equity predictors. Both the individuals use of Romantic Love Communication Behaviors
and perception of spouses use were analyzed (H1a and H1b, respectively). The results of
these analyses are described in Table 7 and discussed below.
103
Table 7
Predictors of Romantic Love Communication Behavior Use
(Individual: N= 498; Spouse: N= 514)
________________________________________________________________________
Criterion variable
Predictor variables
p value
pr
________________________________________________________________________
Individuals use of RLCB
Age
-.16
.08
-.07
Gender
.04
.35
.04
Years Married
-.15
.09
-.07
Previously Married
-.04
.50
-.03
Children at home
-.08
.08
-.08
Education level
.06
.17
.06
Ethnicity
-.05
.29
-.04
Household income
-.03
.56
-.02
Relation Overbenefited
-.17**
.00
-.16
Relation Underbenefited
-.27**
.00
-.25
Age
-.17
.05
-.09
Gender
.08
.06
.08
Years Married
-.14
.09
-.08
Previously Married
-.05
.41
-.04
Children at home
-.11*
.01
-.11
Education level
.07
.12
.07
Ethnicity
-.03
.45
-.03
Household income
-.02
.70
-.02
Relation Overbenefited
-.12*
.01
-.12
Relation Underbenefited
-.38**
.00
-.37
________________________________________________________________________
Note: Partial correlation is indicated by pr.
*p < .05; ** p < .01
The equitable relationship was the reference group.
104
H1a proposed that individuals in an equitable relationship would report using
Romantic Love Communication Behaviors (RLCB) significantly more often than
individuals in an inequitable relationship (overbenefited and underbenefited). To address
this hypothesis, a regression model was computed where demographic variables,
Relational overbenefited, and Relational underbenefited were entered as the independent
variables (entered sequentially in blocks as described previously) and Romantic Love
Communication- individual use was entered as the dependent variable. Results indicated
that an individuals use of RLCBs is significantly predicted by both demographic
variables (R2 = .07, F(8, 489) = 4.70, p < .001) and Relational inequity (R2 = .14, F(10,
487) = 8.00, p < .001; R2change= .07, Fchange (2, 487) = 19.78, p < .001). Individuals
who perceive their relationship as either overbenefited or underbenefited use Romantic
Love Communication Behaviors less often than those in equitable relationships
(Overbenefited: = -.17, pr = -.16, p < .01; Underbenefited: = -.27, pr = -.25, p < .01),
thus supporting H1a.
H1b proposed that individuals in an equitable relationship would report their
partner uses Romantic Love Communication Behaviors (RLCB) significantly more often
than individuals in an inequitable relationship (overbenefited and underbenefited).
Results indicated that the perception of a spouses use of RLCBs is also significantly
predicted by both demographic variables (R2 = .07, F(8, 505) = 4.98, p < .001) and
Relational inequity (R2 = .20, F(10, 503) = 12.32, p < .001; R2change= .12, Fchange (2,
503) = 38.70, p < .001). Individuals who perceive their relationship as either
overbenefited or underbenefited perceive their spouse to use Romantic Love
Communication Behaviors less often than those in equitable relationships
105
(Overbenefited: = -.12, pr = -.12, p < .01; Underbenefited: = -.38, pr = -.37, p < .01),
thus supporting H1b.
106
Table 8
Predictors of Relational Satisfaction
(Relational/Individual N= 497; Relational/Spouse N= 499)
________________________________________________________________________
Criterion variable
Predictor variables
p value
pr
________________________________________________________________________
Relational Satisfaction
Age
.07
.42
.04
Relational Satisfaction
Gender
-.04
.35
-.04
Years Married
.05
.56
.03
Previously Married
.07
.18
.06
Children at home
-.04
.29
-.05
Education level
.09
.05
.09
Ethnicity
.02
.69
.02
Household income
.06
.19
.06
.53**
.00
.52
Age
.07
.32
.05
Gender
-.05
.16
-.06
Years Married
.09
.22
.06
Previously Married
.06
.17
.06
Children at home
-.02
.61
-.02
Education level
.07
.07
.08
Ethnicity
.01
.77
.01
Household income
.03
.40
.04
.67**
.00
.65
________________________________________________________________________
Note: Partial correlation is indicated by pr. Beta is indicated by .
107
Table 9
Predictors of Sexual Satisfaction
(Sexual/Individual N= 486; Sexual/Spouse N= 487)
________________________________________________________________________
Criterion variable
Predictor variables
p value
pr
________________________________________________________________________
Sexual Satisfaction
Age
.20*
.02
.11
Sexual Satisfaction
Gender
-.07
.06
-.09
Years Married
-.24**
.00
-.14
Previously Married
.05
.37
.04
Children at home
.03
.47
.03
Education level
-.06
.19
-.06
Ethnicity
.04
.36
.04
Household income
.05
.28
.05
.52**
.00
.52
Age
.19*
.02
.11
Gender
-.08*
.04
-.10
Years Married
-.21*
.01
-.13
Previously Married
.04
.50
.03
Children at home
.05
.22
.06
Education level
-.07
.08
-.08
Ethnicity
.03
.50
.03
Household income
.02
.63
.02
.57**
.00
.57
108
Table 10
Predictors of Communication Satisfaction
(Communication/Individual N= 484; Communication/Spouse N= 485)
___________________________________________________________________
Criterion variable
Predictor variables
p value
pr
.19*
.03
.10
Gender
.02
.71
.02
Years Married
-.08
.34
-.04
Previously Married
.09
.09
.08
Children at home
-.06
.13
-.07
Education level
.05
.27
.05
Ethnicity
.04
.33
.04
Household income
.06
.14
.07
.54**
.00
.52
.18*
.02
.11
Gender
.01
.89
.01
Years Married
-.03
.65
-.02
Previously Married
.08
.10
.08
Children at home
-.04
.31
-.05
Education level
.03
.41
.04
Ethnicity
.03
.43
.04
Household income
.04
.35
.04
.66**
.00
.64
109
Relational Satisfaction. H2a proposed that the use of Romantic Love
Communication Behaviors is positively associated with Relational Satisfaction. RLCB
use was analyzed with respect to both the individuals use and the perception of spouses
use. To address this hypothesis, a regression model was computed where demographic
variables and RLCB use were entered sequentially in blocks as the independent variables,
and Relational Satisfaction was entered as the dependent variable. Results indicated that
Relational Satisfaction was significantly predicted by both demographic variables (R2 =
.03, F(8, 488) = 2.04, p < .05) and an individuals use of Romantic Love Communication
Behaviors (R2 = .29, F(9, 487) = 22.14, p < .001; R2change= .26, Fchange (1, 487) =
177.10, p < .001). Results also indicated that Relational Satisfaction was significantly
predicted by both demographic variables (R2 = .03, F(8, 490) = 2.10, p < .05) and
perception of spouses use of Romantic Love Communication Behaviors (R2 = .44, F(9,
489) = 43.39, p < .001; R2change= .41, Fchange (1, 489) = 361.33, p < .001). An
individuals use of Romantic Love Communication Behaviors ( = .53, pr = .52, p < .01)
and perception of spouses use of Romantic Love Communication Behaviors ( = .67, pr
= .65, p < .01) was positively associated with Relational Satisfaction; therefore, H2a is
supported.
110
significantly predicted by both demographic variables (R2 = .05, F(8, 477) = 3.33, p =
.001) and an individuals use of RLCBs (R2 = .31, F(9, 476) = 23.26, p < .001;
R2change= .25, Fchange (1, 476) = 173.09, p < .001). Results also indicated that Sexual
Satisfaction was significantly predicted by both demographic variables (R2 = .05, F(8,
478) = 3.26, p = .001) and perception of spouses use of RLCBs (R2 = .36, F(9, 477) =
29.21, p < .001; R2change= .30, Fchange (1, 477) = 224.55, p < .001). An individuals
use of Romantic Love Communication Behaviors ( = .52, pr = .52, p < .01) and
perception of spouses use of Romantic Love Communication Behaviors ( = .57, pr =
.57, p < .01) was positively associated with Sexual Satisfaction; therefore, H2b is
supported. Results of a Bonferroni post-hoc one way ANOVA test on age were
significant (F(5,500)= 3.34, pg < .05). There was a significant difference between the 1829 and 60+ age group (p < .05) and between the 40-49 and 60+ age group (p < .01). The
18-29 age group (M= 133.13, SD= 28.40) and the 40-49 age group (M= 131.64, SD=
27.76) reported significantly higher levels of Sexual satisaction than the 60+ group (M=
120.41, SD= 35.07). The 30-39 and 50-59 age groups did not report a significantly higher
or lower level of Sexual Satisfaction than the 18-29, 40-49, or 60+ age groups. Gender
was non-significant (F (1,505)= 1.84, p= ns).
111
Communication Satisfaction was significantly predicted by both demographic variables
(R2 = .03, F(8, 475) = 1.96, p =.05) and an individuals use of RLCBs (R2 = .30, F(9,
474) = 22.30, p < .001; R2change= .27, Fchange (1, 474) = 179.12, p < .001). With regard
to the perception of spouses use, results also indicated that Communication Satisfaction
was significantly predicted by both demographic variables (R2 = .03, F(8, 476) = 2.03, p
< .05) and perception of spouses use of RLCBs (R2 = .43, F(9, 475) = 39.29, p < .001;
R2change= .39, Fchange (1, 475) = 326.23, p < .001). An individuals use of Romantic
Love Communication Behaviors ( = .54, pr = .52, p < .01) and perception of spouses
use of Romantic Love Communication Behaviors ( = .67, pr = .63, p < .01) was
positively associated with Communication Satisfaction; therefore, H2a is supported.
Results of a Bonferroni post hoc one way ANOVA on age were non-significant
(F(4,498)= 2.157, p= ns).
112
Table 11
Significant predictors of Satisfaction
(Relational N= 499; Sexual N= 487; Communication N= 485)
__________________________________________________________________
Criterion variable
Predictor variables
p value
pr
________________________________________________________________________
Relational Satisfaction
Age
-.03
.76
-.02
Gender
-.04
.33
-.04
Years Married
-.00
.98
.00
Previously Married
.05
.40
.04
Children at home
-.09*
.04
-.09
Education level
.12*
.01
.11
Ethnicity
-.00
.94
-.00
Household income
.04
.46
.03
RLC Equity- Over
-.04
.34
-.04
RLC Equity- Under
-.19**
.00
-.18
Sexual Satisfaction
Age
.12
.23
.06
Gender
-.08
.10
-.08
Years Married
-.30**
.00
-.15
Previously Married
.04
.54
.03
Children at home
-.01
.80
-.01
Education level
-.02
.74
-.02
Ethnicity
.02
.62
.02
Household income
.03
.60
.02
RLC Equity- Over
-.05
.26
-.05
RLC Equity- Under
-.14**
.00
-.14
Communication Satisfaction Age
.10
.31
.05
Gender
.01
.91
.01
Years Married
-.14
.12
-.07
Previously Married
.07
.23
.06
Children at home
-.12*
.01
-.11
Education level
.09
.07
.08
Ethnicity
.02
.59
.03
Household income
.05
.34
.04
RLC Equity- Over
-.10*
.03
-.10
RLC Equity- Under
-.23**
.00
-.23
113
Relational Satisfaction. H3a proposed that spouses who perceive an equitable
exchange of Romantic Love Communication Behaviors, relative to those who perceive an
inequitable exchange (over or underbenefited), will report a higher degree of Relational
Satisfaction. To address this hypothesis, a regression model was computed where
demographic variables and RLCB equity were entered sequentially in blocks as the
independent variables and Relational Satisfaction was entered as the dependent variable.
Results indicated that Relational Satisfaction was significantly predicted by both
demographic variables (R2 = .03, F(8, 490) = 2.10, p < .05) and RLCB equity (R2 = .07,
F(10, 488) = 3.41, p <.001; R2change= .03, Fchange (2, 488) = 8.38, p < .001).
Individuals who perceived they were overbenefited in their exchange of RLCBs did not
report a lower degree of Relational Satisfaction ( = -.04, pr = -.04, p = ns). However,
individuals who perceived they were underbenefited, did report a lower degree of
Relational Satisfaction ( = -.19, pr = -.18, p < .01). Therefore, H3a was only supported
with respect to underbenefited relationships, not overbenefited. Results of a Bonferroni
post-hoc one way ANOVA test on education level were significant (F(3, 516)= 3.63, p <
.05). There was a significant difference between the high school and doctorate education
levels. Individuals with a doctorate degree (M= 6.32, SD= .80) reported significantly
higher levels of Relational Satisfaction than those with only a high school diploma (M=
5.64, SD= 1.63).
Sexual Satisfaction. H3b proposed that the equitable exchange of Romantic Love
Communication Behaviors would predict a higher degree of Sexual Satisfaction. A
regression model was used where demographic variables and Romantic Love
Communication behavior equity were entered sequentially in blocks as the independent
114
variables and Sexual Satisfaction was entered as the dependent variable. Sexual
Satisfaction was significantly predicted by both demographic variables (R2 = .05, F(8,
478) = 3.26, p = .001) and RLCB equitability (R2 = .07, F(10, 476) = 3.62, p < .001;
R2change= .02, Fchange (2, 476) = 4.83, p < .01). Individuals who perceived they were
overbenefited in their exchange of RLCBs did not report a significantly lower degree of
Sexual Satisfaction ( = -.05, pr = -.05, p = ns). However, individuals who perceived they
were underbenefited, did report a lower degree of Relational Satisfaction ( = -.14, pr = .14, p < .01). Therefore, H2a was only supported with respect to underbenefited
relationships, not overbenefited.
115
Chapter V
Discussion
Pilot Study
The pilot study addressed the conceptualization of romantic love communication.
RQ1 asked respondents to identify the means by which they communicate romantic love
to their spouse. Results from the qualitative data analysis supported a priori categories as
identified by the literature: verbal communication, kinesics, time together, emotional
support, affectionate touch, romantic gestures, and sexual touch. This finding
demonstrates that the RLCS is representative of the many means by which romantic love
is communicated. Therefore, no modifications were made to the RLCS before proceeding
to Study 1.
Study 1
This study explored romantic love communication behaviors and their effect on
satisfaction using the Equity theory as the framework. This section addresses the primary
findings, limitations of the study, and future research.
An exploratory factor analysis was used to analyze the quantitative data from
Study 1. Results for Partners use and Individuals use showed similar factor loadings,
confirming three factors. The three factors include (1) Intimacy, (2) Romantic Gestures,
and (3) Sexual Behaviors. The factors that emerged are consistent with the two constructs
used in the conceptualization of romantic love: intimacy and passion. Intimacy represents
the connectedness and closeness between two individuals and can best be thought of as
an emotional investment component. Passion, as Hendrick and Hendrick (1992) noted, is
116
the psychological and physical arousal aspect of Eros love, which represents the
cognitive and physiological aspects of love respectively. The intimacy factor collapses all
of the categories of romantic love communication behaviors that are reflective of the
intimacy component (verbal communication, kinesics, time together, emotional support,
and affectionate touch) into one factor. The second (i.e. Romantic Gestuers) and third
factors (i.e. Sexual Behaviors) are reflective of the passionate forms of romantic love
communication. The romantic gestures factor represents the passionate romantic love
behaviors that are non-sexual. The sexual behaviors factor represents the behavioral
component of passionate romantic love, sex. However, as noted previously, sex does not
have to be present for passionate romantic love to exist.
117
theory research has provided support for the idea that individuals will reduce inputs if a
relationship is perceived as inequitable (Adams, 1965; Canary & Stafford, 1992;
Dainton, 2003; Messman, Canary & Hause, 2000; Walster et al., 1975). This finding held
true in the current study as well. Those in inequitable relationships reduced their RLCB
inputs. For underbenefited individuals, this explanation makes sense. That is, if one is
putting more into the relationship than his/her spouse, one will reduce his/her own inputs
in order to restore equity. As their own inputs reward the partner, reducing ones inputs
also serve to punish the partner. However, with regard to overbenefited individuals,
reducing inputs seems counter-intuitive because the result will be even greater inequity.
Perhaps overbenefited individuals reduce their inputs as a means of acceptance. In
other words, perhaps they see that despite their best efforts, their inputs will never
measure up to their partners. So instead of trying harder, they actually accept this fact and
perhaps even rationalize or justify that they make up for it in other areas of their
relationship. Further analysis needs to be conducted to understand why overbenefited
individuals actually reduce inputs rather than increase them in an effort to restore equity.
Further analysis within inequitable relationships revealed that individuals who are
underbenefited use and perceive their spouse to use RLCBs less often than those who are
overbenefited. This finding was also consistent with prior research on relational
maintenance behaviors (Stafford & Canary, 2006) that found underbenefited individuals
use relational maintenance behaviors less often than overbenefited individuals. So, in the
long run, the underbenefited individuals will engage in a negative cycle of interaction,
which may contribute to emotional distress and relational dissatisfaction.
118
In terms of demographic variables, having children at home emerged as a
significant demographic predictor of the perception of spouses use of RLCBs.
Individuals perceived that the amount of RLCBs their spouse used decreased with more
children at home. Perhaps, the amount of time and energy one has to invest in the
relationship may decrease due to the time and energy required for parenthood.
Conversely, as children grow older and leave the nest, the amount of time and energy
required for parenthood decreases, thus affording the couple more time and energy to
focus on and invest in the relationship. Over time, couples may be able to restore the
equity that was thrown off balance during the child rearing years. This theory is
consistent with previous research and Hatfields Hypothesis 3 that states, all things
being equal, relationships should become more and more equitable over time (Hatfield
et al., 1985, pp. 94-95). Schafer and Keiths (1981) study provided support for this
hypothesis as well. They found the greatest increases in perceived equity occurred when
the couple was middle-aged and their children had left home. This will not always be the
case, however, as many middle-aged couples are waiting later in life to start their families
(Wilkie, 1981). Regardless of how long one waits to have children, perceived equity will
most likely be greater when children have left the home.
The fact that children at home emerged as a significant predictor is also consistent
with Hypothesis 4, that states, In all relationships, there are certain crisis periods (e.g.,
when a dating couple marries, when the first child arrives, when the children leave home,
and when someone loses a job or retires). At such times of precipitous change,
relationships become unbalanced. If couples are contacted before, during, and after such
crises, it is likely that couples will find the crisis period very unsettling, and will work to
119
reestablish equityor move in the direction of dissolution of the relationships (Hatfield
et al., 1985, pp. 94-95). Tucker and Aron (1993) studied the effect of such crisis periods
and found support for the negative impact these crisis periods have on relationships.
Their study sought to measure passionate love and marital satisfaction across three key
transitional points in the life cycle: engagement to marriage, childlessness to parenthood,
and children living at home to empty nest. They found that the correlations between
marital satisfaction and passionate love decrease across the life cycle particularly after
marriage and parenthood.
As discussed here, having children at home emerged as a significant demographic
predictor of the perception of spouses use of RLCBs; however, attention needs to be
given to the fact that it did not emerge as a significant demographic predictor for ones
own use of RLCBs. It appears as though individuals feel they are better than their spouse
at juggling all of lifes demands, more so than their spouse. Despite the many demands of
parenthood, individuals use of RLCBs was not significantly affected by more children
living at home. However, respondents did perceive that their spouse used significantly
fewer RLCBs when children were at home.
Gender did not emerge as a significant predictor of RLCB use, contrary to much
research indicating that gender differences do exist. For example, research has shown that
women tend to be the primary gift givers (Caplow, 1982; Cheal, 1987; Fischer & Arnold,
1990), do more household? tasks than men (Bird, 1999; Huppe & Cyr, 1997; Ragsdale,
1996; Ward, 1993), and initiate touch after marriage (Willis & Briggs, 1992); but men,
however, are the first to say, I love you (Notarius & Johnson; 1982) and initiate touch
in the early stages of a dating relationship (Willis & Briggs; 1992). It should be noted that
120
in the current study, although gender was not a significant predictor of ones own use of
RLCBs, it did come very close to being a significant predictor of the perception of
spouses use of RLCBs. Perhaps the fact that the variables in this study are important and
relevant to both men and women make gender a non-significant predictor. Further
examination of gender differences with regard to equity restoration is still required.
Age, years married, being previously married, education level, ethnicity, nor
household income emerged as significant predictors of RLCB use. Previous research has
not indicated that previously married, educational level, ethnicity, or household income
should have any significant effect on the use of RLCBs; however, research has shown
that age and years married should have an effect due to the concept of time. Researchers
have found that individuals tend to stop actively communicating their love to their mate
as time goes on (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Call, Sprecher, & Schwartz, 1995;
Edwards & Booth, 1994; James, 1983). For example, research has shown that idioms
(Bruess & Pearson, 1993), physical affection (Guerrero & Andersen, 1991), and sex
(Klusmann, 2002) tend to dissipate throughout the life stages of the relationship.
Although the use of RLCBs was shown in this study to decline with age and years
married, the decline was not statistically significant. One possible explanation is that in
todays culture, age is not always reflective of years married as many individuals are
getting remarried later in life. Therefore, their use of RLCBs may be more reflective of a
newly married individual rather than a 50 year old who has been married for many years.
121
satisfied one was with the relational, sexual, and communication aspects of the
relationship. The results are consistent with what previous research has shown when
testing individual behaviors separately. Previous research has provided support for many
of the behaviors in the Romantic Love Communication Survey leading to higher levels of
Relational and Sexual Satisfaction, such as verbal communication (Bruess & Pearson,
1993; Hendrick, 1981), time together (e.g. Duck & Pittman, 1994; Reissman et al., 1993),
emotional support (Acitelli & Antonucci, 1994; Xu & Burleson, 2004), affectionate touch
(Gulledge et al., 2003), romantic gestures (e.g. Beatty et al., 1991; Chapman, 1992), and
sex (e.g. Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Sprecher & Cate, 2004). Although each of the
behaviors have been researched independently and shown to have a positive effect on
Relational/Marital Satisfaction, this study was the first to test all of the behaviors as a
whole model and show their positive effect on Relational, Sexual, and Communication
Satisfaction. In particular, it is important to highlight the positive role RLCBs play in
Communication Satisfaction because Communication Satisfaction was not a variable
previously analyzed in relation to these types of behaviors.
Perception of spouses use of RLCBs use was shown to be a slightly better
predictor of the three types of satisfaction than ones own use. This finding is consistent
with Canary and Cupachs (1988) research partners behavior is more directly associated
with an individuals perception of the relationship . The finding in the RLCB study
coincides with Equity theory. According to Hatfield et al.s (1985) Hypothesis 2, the
most compatible relationships will be those that are equitable, and individuals in these
types of relationships will be more content than those in inequitable relationships. As
individuals, we can invest in our relationship, but unless we perceive our partner is
122
equally investing in the relationship, the compatibility and contentment mentioned in this
hypothesis cannot be attained. A partners behavior, in this case the use of RLCBs, is
crucial to an individuals perception of the relationship. The perception of spouses use of
RLCBs was the strongest predictor of Relational Satisfaction, followed by
Communication and then Sexual Satisfaction. Ones own use of RLCBs most strongly
predicted Communication Satisfaction, Relational Satisfaction, and then Sexual
Satisfaction.
None of the demographic variables under investigation proved to be significant
with regard to Relational Satisfaction, which was surprising. Previous research has shown
that gender has an effect on marital satisfaction (Frisco & Williams, 2003; Pia &
Bengston, 1993; Ward, 1993); however, perhaps the difference lies in the variables being
analyzed. In the studies cited, for example, the variables under investigation were
household labor, employment, and perceptions of support. These variables, according to
the researchers, are issues with which women have traditionally struggled, particularly in
terms of equitability, so it stands to reason that gender would emerge as a significant
variable. However, this study is tapping issues that are equally important to both men and
women. For example, Harley (2001) cites affection and verbal communication as two of
the top five greatest needs for women, and sex and time together as two of the top five
greatest needs for men. Given that some of the greatest needs for both men and women
are represented in the RLCS could explain why gender differences did not emerge as a
significant demographic variable.
Previous research has also indicated that having children at home (Tucker &
Aron, 1993) has a negative effect on Relational Satisfaction; however, it did not emerge
123
as a significant demographic variable in this study for either individuals use or
perception of spouses use. Perhaps men are taking on greater responsibility for the
parenting load, as compared to years past, which has eased the burden of their partner,
thereby reducing the negative effect on Relational Satisfaction.
Age, years married, and gender were significant demographic predictors of Sexual
Satisfaction, although it should be noted that gender was only significant with respect to
spouses use of RLCBs but not individuals use. Sexual frequency has consistently been
found to dissipate throughout the life stages of a relationship, as well as decline as one
ages (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Call et al., 1995; Edwards & Booth, 1994; James,
1983), so it stands to reason that age would be a strong predictor of Sexual Satisfaction.
Several of the participants in this study were remarried; however, it did not prove to be a
significant demographic predictor, despite the fact that remarriage is associated with an
increase in marital sex when controlling for age (Call et al., 1995). One possible
explanation is that many of the remarried individuals in this study had been married for a
significant number of years and were not recently remarried, thus, possibly falling into
the patterns of those who had been married for some time.
Age was the only significant demographic predictor of Communication
Satisfaction. As age increased, Communication Satisfaction increased as well. Perhaps
maturity can account for this finding. As one ages, one learns that child-like forms of
communication such as swearing, defensiveness, self-centeredness, etc. do not have
positive results. Therefore, one modifies and improves his communication skills as one
ages to be more diplomatic, understanding, and other-centered. As one practices and
sharpens these skills, one soon realizes that this form of communication is more effective
124
which leads to greater Communication Satisfaction. Support for this theory was found in
a study conducted by Zietlow and Sillars (1988) regarding life stage differences in
communication. They found that retired couples conversations regarding marital
problems were non-conflictive as opposed to younger couples who had a more intensive
and confrontational communication style. Future research will need to explore this idea
as well as other contributing factors further to explain why Communication Satisfaction
is greater as one ages.
125
sexual by nature; therefore, they are content with the relational and sexual aspects of their
relationship. However, although these aspects of their life may be fulfilled, they may
experience guilt over the fact they are not returning the favor. They may feel they need to
talk about this with their spouse, but have not for whatever reasons, thereby explaining
why their Communication Satisfaction may be affected.
The fact that overbenefitedness did not have the same negative affect on all three
levels of satisfaction as was the case with underbenefitedness supports proposition III of
Equity theory (Hatfield et al., 1985) and Sprechers (1986) claim that people in
inequitable relationships who are underbenefited experience the greatest amount of
distress. This is because they do not experience the same outcomes that the overbenefited
enjoy. As a result, they experience negative emotions such as anger, sadness, and
frustration. The findings are also consistent with prior research that found underbenefited
partners were less satisfied than overbenefited partners (Stafford & Canary, 2006).
When analyzing the overall effect of RLCB equity on satisfaction and comparing
underbenefited to overbenefited individuals, an interesting finding is worth noting. First,
as mentioned previously, RLCB inequity for underbenefited individuals had the greatest
negative effect on Communication Satisfaction, then Sexual Satisfaction, and then
Relational Satisfaction. The same pattern held true for overbenefited individuals, as well.
RLCB inequity for overbenefited individuals had the greatest negative effect on
Communication Satisfaction, then Sexual Satisfaction, and then Relational Satisfaction,
although sexual and Relational Satisfaction levels were not statistically significant.
This is a noteworthy finding as much of equity research focuses on sexual and relational
aspects of relationships. Limited research has been conducted on the communication
126
aspects of relationships as it relates to equity. This study shows the vital role that equity
plays in Communication Satisfaction and, therefore, warrants increased attention and
research.
The results of this study show that equitable relationships are the most satisfying
relationships, followed by overbenefited relationships, and then underbenefited
relationships. The connection between equitability and satisfaction supports the principles
of Equity theory that state equitability plays a role in satisfaction (e.g. Utne et al., 1984;
Walster et al., 1978). Specifically, Hypothesis 2 states that equitable relationships will be
compatible relationships and that individuals in such relationships will be more content
than those in distressing, inequitable relationships (Hatfield et al., 1985, pp. 94-95).
The results also support prior research that shows equity leads to Relational
Satisfaction (Oswald, Clark, & Kelly, 2004; Stafford & Canary, 1991; Utne et al., 1984)
and Sexual Satisfaction (Hatfield et al., 1979; Traupmann et al., 1983). For example,
Utne et al.s (1984) study found that men and women in equitable relationships were
more content and satisfied with their relationship and felt their relationship was more
stable than those couples who felt they were in an inequitable relationship. In terms of
Sexual Satisfaction, Traupmann et al. (1983) found that men and women in equitable
relationships felt more loving and close and more physically satisfied after sex with their
partner than men and women in inequitable relationships. As Gottman and Levenson
(1992) claim, it is not just the absolute frequency of positive (or negative) behaviors that
most strongly influence couples satisfaction, but rather the ratio of positive to negative
behaviors (social exchange theory which is the foundation for Equity theory). When the
ratio of positive behaviors outweighs negative behaviors, it leads to satisfaction. The
127
importance of an equitable exchange is also echoed by Rusbult and Buunks (1993) who
claim that satisfaction will be greatest when ones input-outcome ratio is equal to that of
ones partner; when these ratios differ, individuals feel distress and dissatisfied (p. 182).
Not only is the use of RLCBs important, but the equitable exchange of RLCBs plays a
vital role in satisfaction, as well.
When testing the effect of RLCB Equity on the three levels of satisfaction, a
couple demographic variables were statistically significant. Children at home and
education level emerged as significant predictors of Relational Satisfaction. Parenthood
has previously been shown to have a negative effect on marital satisfaction (Tucker &
Aron, 1993), so this finding was consistent with previous research. Education level, to
this authors knowledge, has not been a consistent predictor of Relational Satisfaction as
it was in this study. Further analysis of education level revealed that individuals with a
doctorate degree reported a significantly higher level of Relational Satisfaction than those
with only a high school diploma. Perhaps, as noted previously, individuals who are more
educated have more knowledge concerning what it takes to have a more satisfying
relationship. Although previous research has noted gender differences with regard to
marital satisfaction (Frisco & Williams, 2003; Pia & Bengston, 1993; Ward, 1993),
significant differences between men and women were not found in this study. As
mentioned previously, perhaps the reason that gender differences did not emerge as a
significant demographic variable in this study was because the RLCS tapped behaviors
that are important and relevant to both men and women, thereby reducing the gender bias
that may exist in other types of studies (i.e. household chores, employment, emotional
support).
128
Years married emerged as a significant predictor of Sexual Satisfaction. As noted
previously, sex has been found to decline throughout the life stages of a relationship
(Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Call et al., 1995; Edwards & Booth, 1994; James, 1983)
so it makes sense that this decline would affect ones Sexual Satisfaction. Finally, having
children at home emerged as a significant negative predictor of Communication
Satisfaction. This makes sense given that the amount of time devoted to parenthood may
affect the amount of time one has to sit down with his/her mate for quality
communication.
In conclusion, this study has provided valuable insights into Romantic Love
Communication Behaviors and their effect on Satisfaction using Equity theory as the
framework. Responses to inequity (being overbenefited or underbenefited), and their
effect on Relational, Sexual, and Communication Satisfaction were analyzed. The results
have provided support that Relational Equitability predicts RLCB use; RLCB use
predicts Relational, Sexual, and Communication Satisfaction; and RLCB Equitability
predicts Relational, Sexual, and Communication Satisfaction for underbenefited
individuals, but only Communication Satisfaction for overbenefited individuals.
The results have provided a valuable contribution to the literature on romantic
love. As mentioned previously, much of the research to date has focused on the various
typologies of love, the elements of love, and the means by which to maintain
relationships. However, literature pertaining to the actual communication of romantic
love is scant. Not only did this study provide a more inclusive typology of romantic love
communication behaviors, but it also provided research on romantic love that is rooted in
theory. The study provided a clearer understanding of the relationships between romantic
129
love communication behaviors, Equity theory, and relational outcomes (Relational
Satisfaction, Sexual Satisfaction, and Communication Satisfaction).
These results have also provided insight into the role of positive behaviors in
romantic relationships, something that Bradbury, Fincham, and Beach (2000) argue had
not yet clearly been defined. The findings are significant because they contribute
practical and applicable information that marriage counselors can use to help clients
improve marital communication. The identification of romantic love communication
behaviors is valuable for therapists because oftentimes one or both individuals in the
marriage have difficulty expressing and communicating love to one another. Therapists
can provide clients with a concrete list of RLCBs that may help to achieve that goal.
Because results from the study support the idea that RLCBs have the potential to
increase Relational, Sexual, and Communication Satisfaction, the findings have potential
to improve the quality of marriages. Through counseling, therapists will be able to
identify which RLCBs specifically contribute to an individuals feelings of satisfaction
and counsel couples to focus on those specific behaviors to express love to their mates
and thereby improve the relationship. If couples have consciously or unconsciously
withdrawn the communication of romantic love from their spouse, the therapist can
advise them to utilize the romantic love communication behaviors without regard to the
equitability of their relationship, thus increasing the couples relational, sexual, and
Communication Satisfaction. Ultimately, the results of this study provide useful
knowledge about the communication of romantic love that could lead to more satisfying
relationships, and, thereby reduce the risks of marital dissatisfaction and subsequent
divorce.
130
Limitations
This study conceptualized love in a way that integrates the key constructs found
in various definitions. However, the conceptualization used in this study still has its
limitations because as Beach and Tesser (1988) concluded, Love is a construct with
meanings that vary with the individual, and it seems unlikely that any model will
adequately capture the full range of popular usage (p. 351). Although this study has
sought to represent the various means by which love is communicated based on the
conceptualization and evidenced through prior research, how one communicates love is
still subjective and unique to individuals. Therefore, the Romantic Love Communication
Scale may not fully represent all the ways in which individuals conceptualize and
communicate romantic love. Additional testing of the survey is needed to be sure that the
survey fully represents the vast and unique conceptualizations and communications of
romantic love. It is also important to note that not all forms of RLCB are necessarily
visible to the spouse. For example, Bolger and Amarel (2007) found support for what
they term invisible support, which is support provided without the recipients
knowledge or with sufficient subtlety that the recipient does not interpret it as support.
According to their research, invisible support (practical and emotional) was more
effective in reducing partners stress than visible support or no support. The RLCS does
not take this type of support into account.
A second limitation of this study is that the Romantic Love Communication Scale
is aimed at only married North American couples. As a result, the findings may not be
applicable to individuals in other relationship stages or couples in other cultures. The
131
scale itself was aimed at the married North American couple and, therefore, may not
adequately represent these other populations. For example, couples who are not yet
married could take the RLCS; however, because some of the questions on the RLCB
focus on sexual behaviors, depending on the relationship stage, they may not yet be
engaged in a sexual relationship. Therefore, a part of the survey itself would not be
applicable to them.
Although the survey was offered online and individuals in other cultures could
potentially take it, it was written in English, thus, excluding anyone who was not fluent in
English. The RLCBs in the survey, which were largely driven by a Western
conceptualization of romantic love, may not be applicable to other parts of the world or
other North American subcultures. For example, Latin American and Italian cultures are
more touch-oriented than the United States, whereas German cultures are less touchoriented. In Muslim cultures, touch between opposite gendered individuals is generally
considered inappropriate in public. Eye contact in the United States is interpreted as
being attentive and honest, whereas in other cultures such as Hispanic, Middle Eastern,
and Native American cultures, eye contact is considered disrespectful and rude (Ikeda &
Tidwell, 2011). These examples are just a few of the differences that could affect how
other cultures view and enact RLCBs.
A third limitation to this study is the use of only equity theory to explain RLCB
use and its effect on satisfaction. On the positive side, equity theory provided a clear
understanding of the importance of both a husband and a wife making equal contributions
to the relationship. Without the equal balance, equity theory showed the negative effect
inequity could have on a relationship. One partner is not able to enact RLCBs alone. The
132
results of this study also supported the fact that equity theory and the concept of fairness
is applicable to intimate relationships. Equity theory provided a better understanding of
the reciprocal nature of positive communication.
However, in terms of limitations, equity theory does not address the ratio of
positive to negative behaviors. For example, how do negative behaviors such as
verbal/physical abuse, infidelity, lying, etc., fit into the equation? Additionally, equity
theory serves as a useful macro-theory in terms of understanding equitable versus
inequitable relationships; however, it does not specifically address and/or explain the
micro-findings within inequitability, overbenefitedness, and underbenefitedness. How
these specific types of inequity affect various outcome variables is not hypothesized
within the theory itself. Therefore, findings with regard to overbenefitedness or
underbenefitedness can not be said to either support the theoretical propositions or not. A
final limitation of equity theory in this study was that it was used to look at only one
aspect of equitability at a time--relational equitability or RLCB equitability. Overall
equity could perhaps still be achieved in a relationship even though RLCB equitability
may be lacking.
Although much support has been provided for Equity theory being applied to
intimate relationships, other theoretical considerations such as the triangular theory of
love (Sternberg, 1986) and/or uncertainty reduction theory (Berger & Calabrese, 1975),
for example, may also provide useful insights.
A fourth limitation was that some of the respondents were paid and some were
not. As mentioned previously, one the authors own social network was exhausted, paid
respondents were recruited through Qualtrics.com. The paid respondents answers may
133
differ from the non paid respondents in the fact that the majority of paid respondents may
share similar characteristics that were not necessarily targeted (i.e. all work from home,
non-professional, similar economic backgrounds, etc.). Another limitation that coincides
with this is the length of the survey; paid respondents had an incentive to complete it,
whereas volunteers may have gotten tired and exited the survey without completing it in
its entirety. A final limitation is that because numerous analyses were conducted, it may
increase the potential for Type 1 error, rejecting the null hypotheses when in fact it was
true.
Future Directions
The Romantic Love Communication Scale needs to be tested with other
populations to determine whether it is applicable to various audiences or applicable to
just the heterosexual, married, North American individuals. Dating individuals may differ
significantly from married couples in that they are still in the honeymoon stage of their
relationship and may be utilizing romantic love communication behaviors more often
than couples who have been married for an extended period of time. Because they are in
the honeymoon stage of their relationship, they may also not be as intently focused on
the equitable nature of such behaviors or may simply be more forgiving of the fact that an
equitable exchange does not exist.
Homosexual couples would also be an audience in which the RLCB should be
tested because of the differences noted in prior research. For example, as noted
previously, Holmberg and Blair (2009) found that although individuals in same sex and
mixed sex relationships reported similar sexual repertoires and levels of sexual
communication, heterosexual men and same sex couples reported a higher sexual desire
134
than heterosexual women. In addition, heterosexual men were less satisfied than
heterosexual woman and lesbian couples with tender, sensual, and/or erotic sexual
activities. Because these types of behaviors were fundamental aspects of this study,
homosexuals and heterosexuals could potentially differ in their responses. Although
similarities may exist with the target audience used in this study, differences must also be
explored.
Cross-cultural populations also need to be surveyed to determine if the findings
are onlyapplicable to North Americans, or the conceptualization and communication of
romantic love as defined in this study are universal. Although previous research has noted
similarities cross-culturally with respect to gift giving (Chapman, 1992; Neto, 1997;
Tucker et al., 1991, 1992), additional research is needed to determine whether other
means of communicating romantic love as used in this study (i.e. verbal communication,
kinesics, time together, emotional support, affectionate touch, and sexual behaviors) are
used in other cultures and whether or not they are similarly related to equity and
satisfaction.
It would also be interesting to include a demographic variable related to faith to
see if Christians, agnostics, atheists, etc. differ in their responses. The foundation of
Christian faith, for example, encourages an altruistic Agape love modeled after Christs
love. This selfless kind of love would not be focused on a tit for tat exchange of RLCBs
as reflected in equity theory.
Romantic Love Communication Behaviors also need to be tested using other
theories besides equity theory. For example, Sternbergs (1986) triangular theory of love
might also provide interesting insights to RLCB use. The triangular theory of love adds a
135
third component to the conceptualization of love, which is commitment. The triangular
theory of love is based on the idea that love is comprised of three different elements that
together form the vertices of a triangle: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy is a
dyadically-oriented construct that represents the connectedness and closeness between
two individuals and can best be thought of as an emotional investment component.
Passion is the psychological and physical arousal aspect of Eros love and is the
motivational component. And, commitment represents the decision to be together and is
the cognitive component (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992).
Although the triangular theory of love was not written with equity theory in mind
per se, there are some striking similarities when it comes to the discussion of
involvements and benefitedness. For example, in equity theory when partners feel they
are putting more into the relationship than they are getting out of it, they are considered
underbenefited, and when they are getting more out of it than they are putting into it, they
are considered overbenefited. Similarly, in the triangular theory of love when the levels
of the components are lower than what the individual would like, there is
underinvolvement, and when the levels of the components are higher than what the
individual would like, there is overinvolvement. Because of the striking similarity
between the two concepts of involvement and benefitedness, it seems plausible that
involvements (e.g. underinvolvement and overinvolvement) will be associated with
equity in the same way that benefitedness (e.g. underbenefited and overbenefited) is.
Another theory that may hold valuable insights into RLCB use is Berger and
Calabreses (1975) uncertainty reduction theory (URT). URT explains recurring
interaction patterns observed during initial interactions. When strangers meet, their
136
primary concern is one of uncertainty reduction or increasing predictability about the
behavior of both themselves and others in the interaction. There is uncertainty about how
the other might behave, as well as uncertainty in retroactively explaining the others
behavior.
Dainton (2003) analyzed both equity and uncertainty with regard to relational
maintenance behaviors because of the common denominator of distress. As previously
noted, people who are in inequitable relationships and are underbenefited experience a
great amount of distress (Sprecher, 1986). Similarly, Berger and Calabrese (1975)
concluded that people who are unable to make sense out of their environment
(uncertainty) usually become anxious. Dainton made the comparison that both inequity
and uncertainty are negatively correlated with maintenance behaviors (Canary &
Stafford, 1992, 1993, 2001; Dainton & Aylor, 2001). For example, when one is in a
relationship that is inequitable, it would likely lead to questions about the definition or
future of the relationship. Therefore, Dainton sought to measure how closely related
inequity and relationship uncertainty are to one another. Daintons findings concluded
that inequity and uncertainty are positively related in the case of underbenefittedness, as
described in the previous illustration, but did not indicate a positive relationship in the
case of overbenefittedness. This finding supports Sprechers (1986) study that
underbenefittedness and over benefittedness are not equivalent states, although, per
Equity theory, they both represent an inequitable state of a relationship.
Dainton (2003) also sought to discover whether inequity or uncertainty was a
stronger predictor of maintenance behavior use. Her results showed that although both
contributed to the predicted use of maintenance behaviors, uncertainty was a stronger
137
predictor of maintenance behavior use than was equity. Future research should analyze
RLCB use using all three theories to determine which provides better explanations and/or
has better predictive power.
Future research should also test each subscale/dimension of the RLCS as opposed
to testing it as a whole to determine if particular dimensions of romantic love (i.e. verbal
communication, kinesics, time together, emotional support, affectionate touch, romantic
gestures, and sexual behaviors) have greater predictive power than others. For example, it
would be interesting to determine if there are particular subscales/dimensions that have a
greater effect on satisfaction for specific genders and/or relational stages. For instance,
perhaps affectionate touch is more powerful for a woman, whereas, sexual behaviors are
more powerful for a man. In terms of relational stages, sexual behaviors may be more
powerful for newly married couples, whereas, time together may be more powerful for
empty nesters. Additionally, an exploration of demographic interactions with the
subscales should also be analyzed.
As research continues to grow in this area, scholars, counselors, and couples alike
will have a greater understanding of the complex nature of love and how it is
communicated. This study has shown the positive effect that romantic love
communication behaviors have on Relational, Sexual, and Communication Satisfaction
as well as the importance of an equitable exchange of such behaviors. The application of
this knowledge to ones own relationships can assist in sustaining a longer and more
fulfilling relationship.
138
Appendix A
Intimacy
Verbal communication
1. My spouse compliments me.
2. My spouse tells me he/she loves me.
3. My spouse tells me he/she appreciates me.
4. My spouse shares personal feelings and thoughts with me.
5. My spouse speaks kindly to me.
6. My spouse uses an endearing nickname for me.
Kinesics
1. My spouse smiles at me.
2. My spouse uses secret behaviors to communicate his/her love to me.
3. My spouse winks at me.
4. My spouse uses facial expressions and/or his/her eyes to flirt with me.
5. My spouse looks at me when we are talking.
Time together
1. My spouse suggests spending one-on-one time together.
2. My spouse invites me to go on a walk.
3. My spouse finds time to spend with me.
4. My spouse suggests taking extended trips together.
5. My spouse invites me to do activities with him/her.
6. My spouse spends time with me without the need for talk.
7. My spouse eats dinner with me.
139
Emotional support
1. My spouse is there for me when I need him/her.
2. My spouse helps me grow as a person.
3. My spouse gives me emotional support.
4. My spouse cares for me.
5. My spouse listens to me.
6. My spouse takes time to understand my feelings
Affectionate touch
1. My spouse hugs me.
2. My spouse holds my hand.
3. My spouse cuddles with me.
4. My spouse gives me backrubs.
5. My spouse puts his/her arm around me.
6. My spouse gives me affectionate kisses.
Passion
Romantic gestures
1. My spouse buys me gifts for special days.
2. My spouse buys me gifts for no special occasion.
3. My spouse gives me cards.
4. My spouse surprises me with dinners by candlelight.
5. My spouse invites me to watch the sunset together.
6. My spouse suggests taking walks in the moonlight.
7. My spouse invites me to lay in front of the fire.
Sexual behaviors
1. My spouse invites me to take a shower together.
2. My spouse undresses me.
3. My spouse initiates foreplay.
4. My spouse initiates sexual intercourse.
5. My spouse suggests experimentation and variety in sex.
6. My spouse consistently gives me an orgasm during sex.
7. My spouse talks with me about sex.
8. My spouse kisses me passionately.
140
Part B: Individuals Use
Instructions: For each of the behaviors listed below, rate how often you use that behavior
to communicate romantic love to your spouse using the following scale:
1 (never); 2 (rarely); 3 (sometimes); 4 (often); 5 (frequently); 6 (almost always); 7 (always)
Intimacy
Verbal communication
1. I compliment my spouse.
2. I tell my spouse I love him/her.
3. I tell my spouse I appreciate him/her.
4. I share personal feelings and thoughts with my spouse.
5. I speak kindly to my spouse.
6. I use an endearing nickname for my spouse.
Kinesics
1. I smile at my spouse.
2. I use secret behaviors to communicate my love to my spouse.
3. I wink at my spouse.
4. I use facial expressions and/or my eyes to flirt with my spouse.
5. I look at my spouse when we are talking.
Time together
1. I suggest spending one-on-one time together.
2. I invite my spouse to go on a walk.
3. I find time to spend with my spouse.
4. I suggest taking extended trips together.
5. I invite my spouse to do activities with me.
6. I spend time with my spouse without the need for talk.
7. I eat dinner with my spouse.
Emotional support
1. I am there for my spouse when he/she needs me.
2. I help my spouse grow as a person.
3. I give my spouse emotional support.
4. I care for my spouse.
5. I listen to my spouse.
6. I take time to understand my spouses feelings.
141
Affectionate touch
1. I hug my spouse.
2. I hold my spouses hand.
3. I cuddle with my spouse.
4. I give my spouse backrubs.
5. I put my arm around my spouse.
6. I give my spouse affectionate kisses.
Passion
Romantic gestures
1. I buy my spouse gifts for special days.
2. I buy my spouse gifts for no special occasion.
3. I give my spouse cards.
4. I surprise my spouse with dinners by candlelight.
5. I invite my spouse to watch the sunset together.
6. I suggest taking walks in the moonlight.
7. I invite my spouse to lay in front of the fire.
Sexual behaviors
1. I invite my spouse to take a shower together.
2. I undress my spouse.
3. I initiate foreplay.
4. I initiate sexual intercourse.
5. I suggest experimentation and variety in sex.
6. I consistently give my spouse an orgasm during sex.
7. I talk with my spouse about sex.
8. I kiss my spouse passionately.
142
Appendix B
143
Appendix C
144
Appendix D
145
Appendix E
146
Appendix F
147
Appendix G
S compliments
S tells me
S shares
S uses
S tells me
he/she
personal
S speaks
endearing
S uses
complime
he/she
appreciat
feelings
kindly to
nickname
S smiles
secret
nts me
loves me
es me
with me
me
for me
at me
behaviors
1.000
.554
.707
.529
.574
.480
.717
.483
.554
1.000
.622
.587
.595
.480
.633
.438
.707
.622
1.000
.663
.633
.510
.682
.570
.529
.587
.663
1.000
.618
.450
.617
.493
.574
.595
.633
.618
1.000
.454
.697
.470
.480
.480
.510
.450
.454
1.000
.502
.519
S smiles at me
.717
.633
.682
.617
.697
.502
1.000
.524
S uses secret
.483
.438
.570
.493
.470
.519
.524
1.000
S winks at me
.404
.383
.492
.377
.330
.402
.484
.465
S flirts with me
.558
.583
.638
.625
.543
.560
.631
.645
S looks at me
.525
.614
.596
.651
.756
.443
.649
.429
.579
.496
.623
.584
.487
.450
.598
.481
.505
.358
.541
.462
.402
.379
.472
.480
.537
.556
.609
.627
.627
.440
.611
.503
.487
.436
.602
.536
.448
.477
.477
.511
.548
.589
.620
.636
.642
.504
.605
.529
me
S tells me he/she
loves me
S tells me he/she
appreciates me
S shares personal
feelings with me
S speaks kindly to
me
S uses endearing
nickname for me
behaviors
when we are
talking
S suggests 1 on 1
time together
S invites me for
walks
S finds time to
spend with me
S suggests trips
together
S invites me to do
things with
148
him/her
S spends time
.516
.530
.584
.561
.628
.558
.602
.492
.359
.480
.392
.477
.525
.342
.488
.305
.481
.582
.557
.597
.693
.354
.614
.393
.537
.563
.685
.665
.623
.451
.612
.537
.545
.615
.655
.696
.729
.450
.650
.494
S cares for me
.495
.688
.572
.634
.755
.452
.636
.419
S listens to me
.492
.561
.586
.673
.721
.400
.641
.448
S takes time to
.553
.580
.679
.725
.713
.478
.650
.515
S hugs me
.647
.742
.657
.606
.654
.530
.724
.492
S holds my hand
.621
.675
.630
.534
.560
.512
.642
.498
S cuddles with
.600
.654
.669
.619
.606
.538
.655
.547
.479
.447
.524
.417
.471
.493
.502
.446
.611
.645
.700
.595
.626
.563
.671
.546
.605
.715
.662
.636
.631
.560
.693
.525
.456
.416
.424
.398
.446
.367
.449
.383
.514
.354
.535
.419
.355
.432
.464
.519
S gives me cards
.409
.342
.488
.416
.407
.374
.415
.398
S surprises me
.389
.223
.439
.340
.255
.400
.346
.465
.426
.302
.498
.383
.315
.418
.378
.457
.381
.170
.408
.342
.232
.379
.312
.447
with me without
need to talk
S eats dinner with
me
S there when I
need him/her
S helps me grow
as a person
S gives me
emotional support
understand my
feelings
me
S gives me back
rubs
S puts arm
around me
S gives me
affectionate
kisses
S buys gifts for
special days
S buys gifts for no
special occasion
with dinners by
candlelight
S invites me to
watch sunset
S suggests walks
in the moonlight
149
S invites me to
.323
.225
.345
.316
.265
.446
.289
.402
.424
.299
.434
.412
.299
.403
.410
.463
S undresses me
.411
.396
.470
.443
.319
.451
.473
.453
S initiates
.467
.431
.479
.415
.421
.435
.478
.439
.388
.415
.361
.329
.331
.410
.410
.389
.391
.357
.451
.438
.307
.419
.431
.453
.355
.454
.443
.478
.480
.281
.431
.292
.517
.514
.566
.622
.427
.460
.542
.471
.627
.639
.645
.575
.561
.489
.650
.519
foreplay
S initiates sexual
intercourse
S initiates
experimentation,
variety in sex
S gives me
orgasm during
sex
S talks with me
about sex
S kisses
passionately
Inter-Item Correlation Matrix
S
S compliments
S invites
S looks at
suggests
me when
1 on 1
S finds
me to do
S invites
time to
suggests
things
S winks
S flirts
we are
time
me for
spend
trips
with
at me
with me
talking
together
walks
with me
together
him/her
.404
.558
.525
.579
.505
.537
.487
.548
.383
.583
.614
.496
.358
.556
.436
.589
.492
.638
.596
.623
.541
.609
.602
.620
.377
.625
.651
.584
.462
.627
.536
.636
.330
.543
.756
.487
.402
.627
.448
.642
.402
.560
.443
.450
.379
.440
.477
.504
.484
.631
.649
.598
.472
.611
.477
.605
me
S tells me he/she
loves me
S tells me he/she
appreciates me
S shares personal
feelings with me
S speaks kindly to
me
S uses endearing
nickname for me
S smiles at me
150
S uses secret
.465
.645
.429
.481
.480
.503
.511
.529
S winks at me
1.000
.658
.312
.445
.469
.430
.457
.401
S flirts with me
.658
1.000
.503
.564
.525
.588
.595
.603
S looks at me
.312
.503
1.000
.506
.383
.596
.442
.679
.445
.564
.506
1.000
.554
.641
.637
.662
.469
.525
.383
.554
1.000
.538
.558
.541
.430
.588
.596
.641
.538
1.000
.624
.699
.457
.595
.442
.637
.558
.624
1.000
.620
.401
.603
.679
.662
.541
.699
.620
1.000
.396
.586
.593
.569
.414
.646
.580
.610
.284
.389
.554
.397
.377
.573
.435
.569
.304
.470
.651
.479
.354
.624
.394
.569
.428
.617
.601
.577
.531
.634
.543
.644
.409
.593
.667
.545
.445
.728
.483
.644
S cares for me
.282
.522
.715
.472
.329
.625
.425
.636
S listens to me
.340
.521
.721
.512
.435
.660
.491
.661
S takes time to
.393
.590
.672
.552
.500
.660
.534
.670
S hugs me
.444
.653
.619
.577
.481
.624
.483
.610
S holds my hand
.494
.643
.543
.575
.549
.602
.545
.618
S cuddles with
.507
.706
.581
.635
.518
.682
.612
.666
.532
.597
.387
.511
.493
.469
.525
.497
behaviors
when we are
talking
S suggests 1 on 1
time together
S invites me for
walks
S finds time to
spend with me
S suggests trips
together
S invites me to do
things with
him/her
S spends time
with me without
need to talk
S eats dinner with
me
S there when I
need him/her
S helps me grow
as a person
S gives me
emotional support
understand my
feelings
me
S gives me back
rubs
151
S puts arm
.536
.702
.591
.649
.557
.662
.610
.679
.517
.689
.583
.572
.485
.632
.579
.624
.269
.373
.473
.466
.335
.474
.436
.472
.441
.501
.371
.509
.533
.509
.534
.483
S gives me cards
.353
.409
.382
.458
.398
.470
.455
.412
S surprises me
.538
.469
.224
.433
.512
.341
.514
.318
.469
.550
.304
.497
.579
.436
.615
.445
.496
.463
.207
.449
.573
.374
.498
.359
.469
.485
.221
.369
.419
.304
.509
.335
.520
.537
.268
.407
.457
.373
.449
.369
S undresses me
.547
.571
.301
.475
.463
.408
.497
.397
S initiates
.431
.564
.377
.486
.401
.423
.480
.454
.392
.478
.300
.368
.341
.336
.357
.385
.467
.543
.283
.438
.382
.378
.464
.427
.287
.392
.467
.369
.341
.448
.341
.460
.478
.665
.438
.553
.464
.535
.544
.529
.541
.667
.530
.579
.517
.608
.536
.529
around me
S gives me
affectionate
kisses
S buys gifts for
special days
S buys gifts for no
special occasion
with dinners by
candlelight
S invites me to
watch sunset
S suggests walks
in the moonlight
S invites me to
lay in front of the
fire
S invites me for
bath/shower
foreplay
S initiates sexual
intercourse
S initiates
experimentation,
variety in sex
S gives me
orgasm during
sex
S talks with me
about sex
S kisses
passionately
Inter-Item Correlation Matrix
S spends
S eats
S there
S helps
S gives
S cares
S listens
S takes
152
time with
dinner
me
with me
without
when I
me grow
me
for me
to me
need
as a
emotional
understan
him/her
person
support
d my
need to
time to
feelings
talk
S compliments
.516
.359
.481
.537
.545
.495
.492
.553
.530
.480
.582
.563
.615
.688
.561
.580
.584
.392
.557
.685
.655
.572
.586
.679
.561
.477
.597
.665
.696
.634
.673
.725
.628
.525
.693
.623
.729
.755
.721
.713
.558
.342
.354
.451
.450
.452
.400
.478
S smiles at me
.602
.488
.614
.612
.650
.636
.641
.650
S uses secret
.492
.305
.393
.537
.494
.419
.448
.515
S winks at me
.396
.284
.304
.428
.409
.282
.340
.393
S flirts with me
.586
.389
.470
.617
.593
.522
.521
.590
S looks at me
.593
.554
.651
.601
.667
.715
.721
.672
.569
.397
.479
.577
.545
.472
.512
.552
.414
.377
.354
.531
.445
.329
.435
.500
.646
.573
.624
.634
.728
.625
.660
.660
.580
.435
.394
.543
.483
.425
.491
.534
.610
.569
.569
.644
.644
.636
.661
.670
1.000
.511
.551
.571
.628
.596
.622
.668
.511
1.000
.515
.467
.507
.554
.605
.517
me
S tells me he/she
loves me
S tells me he/she
appreciates me
S shares personal
feelings with me
S speaks kindly to
me
S uses endearing
nickname for me
behaviors
when we are
talking
S suggests 1 on 1
time together
S invites me for
walks
S finds time to
spend with me
S suggests trips
together
S invites me to do
things with
him/her
S spends time
with me without
need to talk
S eats dinner with
153
me
S there when I
.551
.515
1.000
.667
.770
.752
.688
.705
.571
.467
.667
1.000
.765
.658
.652
.738
.628
.507
.770
.765
1.000
.747
.741
.789
S cares for me
.596
.554
.752
.658
.747
1.000
.685
.695
S listens to me
.622
.605
.688
.652
.741
.685
1.000
.795
S takes time to
.668
.517
.705
.738
.789
.695
.795
1.000
S hugs me
.576
.492
.648
.641
.671
.691
.612
.653
S holds my hand
.534
.473
.516
.637
.621
.583
.561
.580
S cuddles with
.588
.464
.551
.651
.688
.613
.609
.624
.464
.355
.402
.476
.472
.396
.405
.492
.637
.474
.539
.643
.679
.604
.627
.663
.607
.507
.553
.652
.663
.629
.601
.678
.412
.335
.441
.418
.425
.422
.453
.479
.473
.278
.331
.493
.390
.314
.360
.466
S gives me cards
.406
.273
.339
.396
.394
.350
.370
.403
S surprises me
.332
.169
.202
.361
.283
.171
.253
.374
.401
.289
.278
.437
.371
.271
.335
.420
.337
.188
.186
.352
.283
.164
.246
.371
.351
.216
.168
.324
.279
.188
.232
.338
.378
.229
.227
.357
.299
.234
.260
.331
need him/her
S helps me grow
as a person
S gives me
emotional support
understand my
feelings
me
S gives me back
rubs
S puts arm
around me
S gives me
affectionate
kisses
S buys gifts for
special days
S buys gifts for no
special occasion
with dinners by
candlelight
S invites me to
watch sunset
S suggests walks
in the moonlight
S invites me to
lay in front of the
fire
S invites me for
bath/shower
154
S undresses me
.397
.261
.298
.415
.374
.306
.291
.391
S initiates
.469
.316
.313
.438
.419
.361
.346
.436
.364
.244
.230
.328
.315
.317
.239
.334
.395
.228
.270
.427
.341
.314
.275
.404
.431
.367
.454
.423
.468
.490
.505
.554
.516
.376
.391
.529
.489
.445
.437
.524
.540
.412
.537
.597
.602
.526
.536
.606
foreplay
S initiates sexual
intercourse
S initiates
experimentation,
variety in sex
S gives me
orgasm during
sex
S talks with me
about sex
S kisses
passionately
Inter-Item Correlation Matrix
S puts
S gives
S buys
S buys
S gives
arm
me
gifts for
gifts for
S hugs
S holds
S cuddles
me back
around
affectionat
special
no special
me
my hand
with me
rubs
me
e kisses
days
occasion
S compliments me
.647
.621
.600
.479
.611
.605
.456
.514
S tells me he/she
.742
.675
.654
.447
.645
.715
.416
.354
.657
.630
.669
.524
.700
.662
.424
.535
.606
.534
.619
.417
.595
.636
.398
.419
.654
.560
.606
.471
.626
.631
.446
.355
.530
.512
.538
.493
.563
.560
.367
.432
S smiles at me
.724
.642
.655
.502
.671
.693
.449
.464
S uses secret
.492
.498
.547
.446
.546
.525
.383
.519
S winks at me
.444
.494
.507
.532
.536
.517
.269
.441
S flirts with me
.653
.643
.706
.597
.702
.689
.373
.501
S looks at me
.619
.543
.581
.387
.591
.583
.473
.371
loves me
S tells me he/she
appreciates me
S shares personal
feelings with me
S speaks kindly to
me
S uses endearing
nickname for me
behaviors
when we are
talking
155
S suggests 1 on 1
.577
.575
.635
.511
.649
.572
.466
.509
.481
.549
.518
.493
.557
.485
.335
.533
.624
.602
.682
.469
.662
.632
.474
.509
.483
.545
.612
.525
.610
.579
.436
.534
.610
.618
.666
.497
.679
.624
.472
.483
.576
.534
.588
.464
.637
.607
.412
.473
.492
.473
.464
.355
.474
.507
.335
.278
.648
.516
.551
.402
.539
.553
.441
.331
.641
.637
.651
.476
.643
.652
.418
.493
.671
.621
.688
.472
.679
.663
.425
.390
S cares for me
.691
.583
.613
.396
.604
.629
.422
.314
S listens to me
.612
.561
.609
.405
.627
.601
.453
.360
S takes time to
.653
.580
.624
.492
.663
.678
.479
.466
1.000
.754
.751
.567
.756
.773
.464
.431
S holds my hand
.754
1.000
.740
.551
.732
.730
.430
.499
S cuddles with me
.751
.740
1.000
.600
.783
.750
.443
.486
S gives me back
.567
.551
.600
1.000
.627
.591
.300
.460
.756
.732
.783
.627
1.000
.748
.441
.515
.773
.730
.750
.591
.748
1.000
.448
.463
.464
.430
.443
.300
.441
.448
1.000
.566
.431
.499
.486
.460
.515
.463
.566
1.000
time together
S invites me for
walks
S finds time to
spend with me
S suggests trips
together
S invites me to do
things with
him/her
S spends time
with me without
need to talk
S eats dinner with
me
S there when I
need him/her
S helps me grow
as a person
S gives me
emotional support
understand my
feelings
S hugs me
rubs
S puts arm around
me
S gives me
affectionate kisses
S buys gifts for
special days
S buys gifts for no
special occasion
156
S gives me cards
.407
.407
.466
.367
.414
.431
.568
.539
S surprises me
.318
.360
.419
.519
.415
.394
.331
.587
.431
.486
.494
.514
.530
.480
.262
.486
.324
.367
.416
.477
.429
.388
.247
.533
.324
.386
.409
.500
.425
.389
.241
.437
.366
.414
.482
.501
.479
.474
.263
.465
S undresses me
.437
.471
.506
.575
.528
.533
.270
.439
S initiates foreplay
.472
.475
.553
.547
.583
.570
.310
.388
S initiates sexual
.438
.384
.441
.440
.487
.528
.246
.326
.420
.387
.464
.520
.508
.514
.255
.442
.461
.447
.470
.338
.461
.543
.400
.343
.579
.543
.645
.565
.658
.627
.347
.441
.735
.662
.704
.571
.738
.797
.553
.502
with dinners by
candlelight
S invites me to
watch sunset
S suggests walks
in the moonlight
S invites me to lay
in front of the fire
S invites me for
bath/shower
intercourse
S initiates
experimentation,
variety in sex
S gives me
orgasm during sex
S talks with me
about sex
S kisses
passionately
Inter-Item Correlation Matrix
S
surprises
me with
S compliments
dinners
S invites
suggests
S invites
S invites
by
me to
walks in
me to lay
me for
S gives
candleligh
watch
the
in front of
bath/show
undresse
S initiates
me cards
sunset
moonlight
the fire
er
s me
foreplay
.409
.389
.426
.381
.323
.424
.411
.467
.342
.223
.302
.170
.225
.299
.396
.431
.488
.439
.498
.408
.345
.434
.470
.479
me
S tells me he/she
loves me
S tells me he/she
appreciates me
157
S shares personal
.416
.340
.383
.342
.316
.412
.443
.415
.407
.255
.315
.232
.265
.299
.319
.421
.374
.400
.418
.379
.446
.403
.451
.435
S smiles at me
.415
.346
.378
.312
.289
.410
.473
.478
S uses secret
.398
.465
.457
.447
.402
.463
.453
.439
S winks at me
.353
.538
.469
.496
.469
.520
.547
.431
S flirts with me
.409
.469
.550
.463
.485
.537
.571
.564
S looks at me
.382
.224
.304
.207
.221
.268
.301
.377
.458
.433
.497
.449
.369
.407
.475
.486
.398
.512
.579
.573
.419
.457
.463
.401
.470
.341
.436
.374
.304
.373
.408
.423
.455
.514
.615
.498
.509
.449
.497
.480
.412
.318
.445
.359
.335
.369
.397
.454
.406
.332
.401
.337
.351
.378
.397
.469
.273
.169
.289
.188
.216
.229
.261
.316
.339
.202
.278
.186
.168
.227
.298
.313
.396
.361
.437
.352
.324
.357
.415
.438
.394
.283
.371
.283
.279
.299
.374
.419
S cares for me
.350
.171
.271
.164
.188
.234
.306
.361
S listens to me
.370
.253
.335
.246
.232
.260
.291
.346
S takes time to
.403
.374
.420
.371
.338
.331
.391
.436
feelings with me
S speaks kindly to
me
S uses endearing
nickname for me
behaviors
when we are
talking
S suggests 1 on 1
time together
S invites me for
walks
S finds time to
spend with me
S suggests trips
together
S invites me to do
things with
him/her
S spends time
with me without
need to talk
S eats dinner with
me
S there when I
need him/her
S helps me grow
as a person
S gives me
emotional support
understand my
158
feelings
S hugs me
.407
.318
.431
.324
.324
.366
.437
.472
S holds my hand
.407
.360
.486
.367
.386
.414
.471
.475
S cuddles with
.466
.419
.494
.416
.409
.482
.506
.553
.367
.519
.514
.477
.500
.501
.575
.547
.414
.415
.530
.429
.425
.479
.528
.583
.431
.394
.480
.388
.389
.474
.533
.570
.568
.331
.262
.247
.241
.263
.270
.310
.539
.587
.486
.533
.437
.465
.439
.388
1.000
.477
.418
.409
.361
.349
.329
.315
.477
1.000
.654
.771
.662
.551
.601
.445
.418
.654
1.000
.743
.651
.488
.540
.494
.409
.771
.743
1.000
.677
.555
.580
.450
.361
.662
.651
.677
1.000
.544
.525
.464
.349
.551
.488
.555
.544
1.000
.664
.568
S undresses me
.329
.601
.540
.580
.525
.664
1.000
.683
S initiates
.315
.445
.494
.450
.464
.568
.683
1.000
.226
.376
.379
.366
.387
.487
.583
.811
.292
.526
.459
.490
.527
.582
.680
.689
.279
.238
.275
.234
.208
.292
.337
.359
me
S gives me back
rubs
S puts arm
around me
S gives me
affectionate
kisses
S buys gifts for
special days
S buys gifts for no
special occasion
S gives me cards
S surprises me
with dinners by
candlelight
S invites me to
watch sunset
S suggests walks
in the moonlight
S invites me to
lay in front of the
fire
S invites me for
bath/shower
foreplay
S initiates sexual
intercourse
S initiates
experimentation,
variety in sex
S gives me
orgasm during
sex
159
S talks with me
.393
.452
.478
.465
.455
.593
.649
.691
.440
.436
.484
.427
.391
.490
.580
.617
about sex
S kisses
passionately
Inter-Item Correlation Matrix
S initiates
S initiates
S gives me
sexual
experimentatio
orgasm during
S talks with me
S kisses
intercourse
n, variety in sex
sex
about sex
passionately
S compliments me
.388
.391
.355
.517
.627
.415
.357
.454
.514
.639
S tells me he/she
.361
.451
.443
.566
.645
.329
.438
.478
.622
.575
S speaks kindly to me
.331
.307
.480
.427
.561
S uses endearing
.410
.419
.281
.460
.489
S smiles at me
.410
.431
.431
.542
.650
.389
.453
.292
.471
.519
S winks at me
.392
.467
.287
.478
.541
S flirts with me
.478
.543
.392
.665
.667
.300
.283
.467
.438
.530
.368
.438
.369
.553
.579
.341
.382
.341
.464
.517
.336
.378
.448
.535
.608
.357
.464
.341
.544
.536
S invites me to do things
.385
.427
.460
.529
.529
.364
.395
.431
.516
.540
.244
.228
.367
.376
.412
.230
.270
.454
.391
.537
.328
.427
.423
.529
.597
.315
.341
.468
.489
.602
appreciates me
S shares personal feelings
with me
nickname for me
talking
S suggests 1 on 1 time
together
me
with him/her
S spends time with me
without need to talk
him/her
S helps me grow as a
person
S gives me emotional
160
support
S cares for me
.317
.314
.490
.445
.526
S listens to me
.239
.275
.505
.437
.536
.334
.404
.554
.524
.606
S hugs me
.438
.420
.461
.579
.735
S holds my hand
.384
.387
.447
.543
.662
S cuddles with me
.441
.464
.470
.645
.704
.440
.520
.338
.565
.571
.487
.508
.461
.658
.738
S gives me affectionate
.528
.514
.543
.627
.797
.246
.255
.400
.347
.553
.326
.442
.343
.441
.502
S gives me cards
.226
.292
.279
.393
.440
S surprises me with
.376
.526
.238
.452
.436
.379
.459
.275
.478
.484
.366
.490
.234
.465
.427
.387
.527
.208
.455
.391
.487
.582
.292
.593
.490
S undresses me
.583
.680
.337
.649
.580
S initiates foreplay
.811
.689
.359
.691
.617
1.000
.675
.320
.612
.523
.675
1.000
.338
.721
.548
.320
.338
1.000
.427
.505
.612
.721
.427
1.000
.652
S kisses passionately
.523
.548
.505
.652
1.000
my feelings
kisses
S buys gifts for special
days
S buys gifts for no special
occasion
dinners by candlelight
S invites me to watch
sunset
S suggests walks in the
moonlight
S invites me to lay in front
of the fire
S invites me for
bath/shower
S initiates sexual
intercourse
S initiates experimentation,
variety in sex
S gives me orgasm during
sex
161
Appendix H
I compliment S
I share
I use
endearing
I tell S I
I tell S I
personal
compliment
love
appreciate
feelings
I speak
nickname
I smile at
him/her
him/her
with S
kindly to S
for S
1.000
.598
.743
.575
.634
.504
.830
.598
1.000
.681
.537
.574
.442
.658
I tell S I appreciate
.743
.681
1.000
.651
.638
.487
.730
.575
.537
.651
1.000
.480
.408
.609
I speak kindly to S
.634
.574
.638
.480
1.000
.421
.691
I use endearing
.504
.442
.487
.408
.421
1.000
.483
I smile at S
.830
.658
.730
.609
.691
.483
1.000
I use secret
.519
.439
.531
.448
.410
.587
.490
I wink at S
.463
.367
.486
.375
.331
.464
.438
I flirt with S
.547
.496
.602
.589
.461
.533
.564
I look at S when we
.538
.521
.580
.529
.662
.338
.588
.704
.586
.661
.639
.538
.473
.719
.435
.297
.441
.387
.328
.336
.403
.638
.539
.674
.603
.600
.392
.662
.486
.349
.529
.557
.418
.424
.446
.623
.556
.645
.635
.639
.426
.638
.604
.542
.618
.543
.550
.508
.620
.446
.407
.479
.436
.514
.254
.495
.541
.463
.525
.467
.609
.302
.593
.617
.490
.655
.614
.545
.428
.587
him/her
I share personal
feelings with S
nickname for S
behaviors
are talking
I suggest 1 on 1 time
together
with S
I suggest trips
together
I invite S to do things
with him/her
I spend time with S
without need to talk
needed
I help S grow as a
person
162
I give S emotional
.595
.530
.625
.603
.659
.387
.641
I care for S
.543
.588
.578
.509
.681
.350
.602
I listen to S
.542
.473
.574
.549
.685
.343
.598
I take time to
.594
.555
.660
.625
.697
.413
.665
I hug S
.708
.724
.714
.604
.643
.491
.740
I hold S hand
.682
.619
.654
.541
.567
.486
.679
I cuddle with S
.627
.580
.614
.577
.533
.512
.612
.417
.426
.486
.374
.394
.382
.384
.692
.633
.693
.554
.610
.533
.672
I give S affectionate
.642
.605
.660
.573
.538
.476
.644
.489
.449
.454
.375
.500
.354
.512
.513
.325
.481
.422
.370
.393
.470
I give S cards
.387
.280
.420
.309
.419
.360
.375
I surprise S with
.352
.223
.379
.307
.273
.367
.322
.388
.212
.409
.330
.287
.379
.337
.346
.187
.339
.291
.194
.399
.278
.366
.200
.344
.315
.218
.430
.299
.386
.310
.388
.382
.243
.396
.359
I undress S
.376
.337
.370
.386
.272
.392
.356
I initiate foreplay
.426
.344
.371
.343
.344
.420
.396
I initiate sexual
.384
.348
.379
.336
.288
.380
.354
.346
.239
.313
.324
.230
.385
.300
.343
.404
.358
.349
.320
.282
.357
.524
.480
.528
.604
.389
.481
.509
support
understand S
feelings
kisses
I buy gifts for special
days
I buy gifts for no
special occasion
dinners by
candlelight
I invite S to watch
sunset
I suggest walks in
the moonlight
I invite S to lay in
front of the fire
I invites S for
bath/shower
intercourse
I initiate
experimentation,
variety in sex
I give S orgasm
during sex
I talk with S about
163
sex
I kiss S passionately
.646
.617
.628
.541
.496
.489
.632
I suggest 1
I find time to
I use secret
I wink at
I flirt with
when we
on 1 time
I invite S for
spend with
behaviors
are talking
together
walks
I compliment S
.519
.463
.547
.538
.704
.435
.638
.439
.367
.496
.521
.586
.297
.539
I tell S I appreciate
.531
.486
.602
.580
.661
.441
.674
.448
.375
.589
.529
.639
.387
.603
I speak kindly to S
.410
.331
.461
.662
.538
.328
.600
I use endearing
.587
.464
.533
.338
.473
.336
.392
I smile at S
.490
.438
.564
.588
.719
.403
.662
I use secret
1.000
.571
.680
.347
.521
.442
.444
I wink at S
.571
1.000
.694
.283
.427
.473
.381
I flirt with S
.680
.694
1.000
.409
.562
.494
.528
I look at S when we
.347
.283
.409
1.000
.518
.297
.613
.521
.427
.562
.518
1.000
.537
.671
.442
.473
.494
.297
.537
1.000
.444
.444
.381
.528
.613
.671
.444
1.000
.472
.433
.566
.377
.587
.531
.509
.444
.371
.520
.668
.687
.499
.690
.502
.406
.521
.563
.600
.423
.665
.236
.219
.300
.533
.415
.292
.556
.352
.218
.348
.644
.469
.270
.570
.536
.414
.554
.560
.601
.447
.625
.415
.294
.455
.647
.571
.328
.728
him/her
I share personal
feelings with S
nickname for S
behaviors
are talking
I suggest 1 on 1 time
together
with S
I suggest trips
together
I invite S to do things
with him/her
I spend time with S
without need to talk
needed
I help S grow as a
person
I give S emotional
164
support
I care for S
.387
.206
.379
.606
.474
.259
.608
I listen to S
.347
.270
.387
.702
.510
.346
.617
I take time to
.444
.355
.482
.695
.592
.380
.653
I hug S
.500
.416
.575
.561
.683
.424
.640
I hold S hand
.499
.476
.585
.495
.629
.527
.616
I cuddle with S
.538
.464
.582
.456
.648
.509
.630
.450
.416
.423
.296
.422
.436
.392
.534
.521
.603
.508
.656
.491
.601
I give S affectionate
.524
.472
.597
.494
.647
.443
.635
.324
.281
.340
.486
.454
.281
.469
.497
.502
.529
.367
.494
.492
.459
I give S cards
.371
.426
.409
.318
.370
.408
.387
I surprise S with
.478
.552
.458
.187
.416
.514
.303
.468
.544
.474
.209
.437
.580
.324
.439
.497
.427
.121
.378
.585
.256
.462
.523
.477
.149
.361
.508
.275
.483
.547
.523
.206
.437
.470
.334
I undress S
.463
.519
.498
.177
.407
.416
.275
I initiate foreplay
.388
.427
.453
.250
.404
.358
.348
I initiate sexual
.378
.434
.415
.211
.362
.325
.335
.401
.439
.487
.199
.379
.365
.248
.349
.196
.377
.336
.350
.228
.378
.508
.501
.633
.363
.603
.468
.493
understand S
feelings
kisses
I buy gifts for special
days
I buy gifts for no
special occasion
dinners by
candlelight
I invite S to watch
sunset
I suggest walks in the
moonlight
I invite S to lay in
front of the fire
I invites S for
bath/shower
intercourse
I initiate
experimentation,
variety in sex
I give S orgasm
during sex
I talk with S about
sex
165
I kiss S passionately
.561
.548
.638
.425
.645
.471
.555
I spend
I suggest
do things
time with S
trips
with
without
together
him/her
need to talk
I there for
I help S
I give S
I eat dinner
S when
grow as a
emotional
with S
needed
person
support
I compliment S
.486
.623
.604
.446
.541
.617
.595
.349
.556
.542
.407
.463
.490
.530
I tell S I appreciate
.529
.645
.618
.479
.525
.655
.625
.557
.635
.543
.436
.467
.614
.603
I speak kindly to S
.418
.639
.550
.514
.609
.545
.659
I use endearing
.424
.426
.508
.254
.302
.428
.387
I smile at S
.446
.638
.620
.495
.593
.587
.641
I use secret
.472
.444
.502
.236
.352
.536
.415
I wink at S
.433
.371
.406
.219
.218
.414
.294
I flirt with S
.566
.520
.521
.300
.348
.554
.455
I look at S when we
.377
.668
.563
.533
.644
.560
.647
.587
.687
.600
.415
.469
.601
.571
.531
.499
.423
.292
.270
.447
.328
.509
.690
.665
.556
.570
.625
.728
1.000
.609
.512
.343
.335
.481
.421
.609
1.000
.591
.522
.558
.586
.619
.512
.591
1.000
.453
.471
.588
.578
.343
.522
.453
1.000
.516
.390
.445
.335
.558
.471
.516
1.000
.599
.739
.481
.586
.588
.390
.599
1.000
.713
.421
.619
.578
.445
.739
.713
1.000
him/her
I share personal
feelings with S
nickname for S
behaviors
are talking
I suggest 1 on 1
time together
with S
I suggest trips
together
I invite S to do
things with him/her
I spend time with S
without need to talk
needed
I help S grow as a
person
I give S emotional
166
support
I care for S
.347
.567
.526
.515
.701
.561
.702
I listen to S
.447
.654
.531
.552
.634
.542
.690
I take time to
.470
.651
.590
.471
.637
.613
.712
I hug S
.444
.616
.603
.445
.565
.594
.618
I hold S hand
.446
.574
.547
.422
.450
.615
.546
I cuddle with S
.489
.575
.615
.405
.421
.608
.597
.416
.421
.439
.269
.260
.425
.359
.503
.631
.601
.432
.440
.576
.560
I give S affectionate
.505
.581
.614
.398
.395
.558
.546
.382
.481
.410
.362
.446
.399
.449
.509
.442
.435
.216
.284
.493
.394
I give S cards
.442
.352
.381
.247
.283
.383
.356
I surprise S with
.431
.309
.342
.149
.136
.329
.200
.492
.364
.338
.196
.155
.340
.205
.452
.307
.323
.109
.051
.300
.137
.443
.276
.319
.133
.075
.313
.170
.427
.340
.349
.192
.164
.348
.257
I undress S
.411
.312
.367
.198
.153
.378
.237
I initiate foreplay
.364
.337
.389
.241
.181
.351
.275
I initiate sexual
.342
.326
.365
.240
.157
.358
.267
.341
.308
.328
.134
.146
.355
.215
.284
.358
.412
.220
.268
.298
.317
.521
.483
.509
.281
.304
.543
.439
understand S
feelings
kisses
I buy gifts for special
days
I buy gifts for no
special occasion
dinners by
candlelight
I invite S to watch
sunset
I suggest walks in
the moonlight
I invite S to lay in
front of the fire
I invites S for
bath/shower
intercourse
I initiate
experimentation,
variety in sex
I give S orgasm
during sex
I talk with S about
sex
167
I kiss S passionately
.492
.522
.520
.356
.391
.538
.499
I listen to understand
S
S feelings
I hug S
I hold S
I cuddle
I give S
I put arm
hand
with S
back rubs
around S
I compliment S
.543
.542
.594
.708
.682
.627
.417
.692
I tell S I love
.588
.473
.555
.724
.619
.580
.426
.633
.578
.574
.660
.714
.654
.614
.486
.693
.509
.549
.625
.604
.541
.577
.374
.554
I speak kindly to S
.681
.685
.697
.643
.567
.533
.394
.610
I use endearing
.350
.343
.413
.491
.486
.512
.382
.533
I smile at S
.602
.598
.665
.740
.679
.612
.384
.672
I use secret
.387
.347
.444
.500
.499
.538
.450
.534
I wink at S
.206
.270
.355
.416
.476
.464
.416
.521
I flirt with S
.379
.387
.482
.575
.585
.582
.423
.603
I look at S when we
.606
.702
.695
.561
.495
.456
.296
.508
.474
.510
.592
.683
.629
.648
.422
.656
.259
.346
.380
.424
.527
.509
.436
.491
.608
.617
.653
.640
.616
.630
.392
.601
.347
.447
.470
.444
.446
.489
.416
.503
.567
.654
.651
.616
.574
.575
.421
.631
.526
.531
.590
.603
.547
.615
.439
.601
.515
.552
.471
.445
.422
.405
.269
.432
.701
.634
.637
.565
.450
.421
.260
.440
.561
.542
.613
.594
.615
.608
.425
.576
him/her
I tell S I appreciate
him/her
I share personal
feelings with S
nickname for S
behaviors
are talking
I suggest 1 on 1
time together
with S
I suggest trips
together
I invite S to do
things with him/her
I spend time with S
without need to talk
needed
I help S grow as a
person
168
I give S emotional
.702
.690
.712
.618
.546
.597
.359
.560
I care for S
1.000
.616
.621
.611
.486
.489
.363
.512
I listen to S
.616
1.000
.740
.511
.495
.460
.291
.527
I take time to
.621
.740
1.000
.609
.523
.567
.357
.574
I hug S
.611
.511
.609
1.000
.705
.717
.455
.746
I hold S hand
.486
.495
.523
.705
1.000
.695
.483
.756
I cuddle with S
.489
.460
.567
.717
.695
1.000
.509
.720
.363
.291
.357
.455
.483
.509
1.000
.532
.512
.527
.574
.746
.756
.720
.532
1.000
I give S affectionate
.489
.510
.596
.701
.674
.701
.462
.709
.461
.423
.446
.501
.373
.391
.240
.425
.313
.345
.428
.470
.502
.483
.415
.525
I give S cards
.300
.333
.376
.346
.334
.390
.304
.409
I surprise S with
.147
.201
.285
.324
.372
.418
.499
.390
.142
.275
.326
.320
.410
.422
.439
.454
.104
.205
.261
.278
.371
.390
.461
.405
.089
.218
.269
.257
.372
.376
.437
.399
.183
.216
.302
.346
.430
.450
.478
.462
I undress S
.198
.223
.295
.372
.419
.465
.537
.460
I initiate foreplay
.245
.255
.326
.430
.431
.460
.441
.519
I initiate sexual
.223
.230
.318
.403
.414
.417
.421
.491
.153
.175
.244
.322
.364
.370
.406
.423
.340
.310
.453
.379
.327
.384
.244
.329
.346
.350
.460
.555
.553
.647
.481
.602
support
understand S
feelings
kisses
I buy gifts for
special days
I buy gifts for no
special occasion
dinners by
candlelight
I invite S to watch
sunset
I suggest walks in
the moonlight
I invite S to lay in
front of the fire
I invites S for
bath/shower
intercourse
I initiate
experimentation,
variety in sex
I give S orgasm
during sex
I talk with S about
169
sex
I kiss S
.453
.430
.506
.704
.657
.685
.499
.709
passionately
Inter-Item Correlation Matrix
I buy gifts
I surprise S
I suggest
with
I invite S to
walks in
I give S
I buy gifts
for no
affectionate
for special
special
I give S
dinners by
watch
the
kisses
days
occasion
cards
candlelight
sunset
moonlight
I compliment S
.642
.489
.513
.387
.352
.388
.346
.605
.449
.325
.280
.223
.212
.187
I tell S I appreciate
.660
.454
.481
.420
.379
.409
.339
.573
.375
.422
.309
.307
.330
.291
I speak kindly to S
.538
.500
.370
.419
.273
.287
.194
I use endearing
.476
.354
.393
.360
.367
.379
.399
I smile at S
.644
.512
.470
.375
.322
.337
.278
I use secret
.524
.324
.497
.371
.478
.468
.439
I wink at S
.472
.281
.502
.426
.552
.544
.497
I flirt with S
.597
.340
.529
.409
.458
.474
.427
I look at S when we
.494
.486
.367
.318
.187
.209
.121
.647
.454
.494
.370
.416
.437
.378
.443
.281
.492
.408
.514
.580
.585
.635
.469
.459
.387
.303
.324
.256
.505
.382
.509
.442
.431
.492
.452
.581
.481
.442
.352
.309
.364
.307
.614
.410
.435
.381
.342
.338
.323
.398
.362
.216
.247
.149
.196
.109
.395
.446
.284
.283
.136
.155
.051
.558
.399
.493
.383
.329
.340
.300
him/her
I share personal
feelings with S
nickname for S
behaviors
are talking
I suggest 1 on 1
time together
with S
I suggest trips
together
I invite S to do
things with him/her
I spend time with S
without need to talk
needed
I help S grow as a
170
person
I give S emotional
.546
.449
.394
.356
.200
.205
.137
I care for S
.489
.461
.313
.300
.147
.142
.104
I listen to S
.510
.423
.345
.333
.201
.275
.205
I take time to
.596
.446
.428
.376
.285
.326
.261
I hug S
.701
.501
.470
.346
.324
.320
.278
I hold S hand
.674
.373
.502
.334
.372
.410
.371
I cuddle with S
.701
.391
.483
.390
.418
.422
.390
.462
.240
.415
.304
.499
.439
.461
.709
.425
.525
.409
.390
.454
.405
I give S affectionate
1.000
.400
.482
.417
.405
.380
.394
.400
1.000
.517
.545
.269
.230
.248
.482
.517
1.000
.527
.506
.498
.494
I give S cards
.417
.545
.527
1.000
.460
.461
.457
I surprise S with
.405
.269
.506
.460
1.000
.645
.645
.380
.230
.498
.461
.645
1.000
.742
.394
.248
.494
.457
.645
.742
1.000
.373
.223
.489
.444
.659
.720
.742
.473
.192
.433
.328
.529
.491
.488
I undress S
.474
.218
.427
.314
.617
.478
.530
I initiate foreplay
.501
.299
.395
.306
.383
.402
.444
I initiate sexual
.442
.266
.349
.275
.349
.357
.407
.412
.208
.400
.264
.447
.411
.469
.416
.271
.264
.228
.185
.163
.130
support
understand S
feelings
kisses
I buy gifts for special
days
I buy gifts for no
special occasion
dinners by
candlelight
I invite S to watch
sunset
I suggest walks in
the moonlight
I invite S to lay in
front of the fire
I invites S for
bath/shower
intercourse
I initiate
experimentation,
variety in sex
I give S orgasm
during sex
171
.627
.351
.505
.393
.472
.474
.471
.787
.476
.556
.460
.440
.426
.453
sex
I kiss S passionately
experiment
I invite S to
for
lay in front
bath/showe
I undress
of the fire
I initiate
ation,
I give S
I initiate
sexual
variety in
orgasm
foreplay
intercourse
sex
during sex
I compliment S
.366
.386
.376
.426
.384
.346
.343
.200
.310
.337
.344
.348
.239
.404
I tell S I appreciate
.344
.388
.370
.371
.379
.313
.358
.315
.382
.386
.343
.336
.324
.349
I speak kindly to S
.218
.243
.272
.344
.288
.230
.320
I use endearing
.430
.396
.392
.420
.380
.385
.282
I smile at S
.299
.359
.356
.396
.354
.300
.357
I use secret
.462
.483
.463
.388
.378
.401
.349
I wink at S
.523
.547
.519
.427
.434
.439
.196
I flirt with S
.477
.523
.498
.453
.415
.487
.377
I look at S when we
.149
.206
.177
.250
.211
.199
.336
.361
.437
.407
.404
.362
.379
.350
.508
.470
.416
.358
.325
.365
.228
.275
.334
.275
.348
.335
.248
.378
.443
.427
.411
.364
.342
.341
.284
.276
.340
.312
.337
.326
.308
.358
.319
.349
.367
.389
.365
.328
.412
.133
.192
.198
.241
.240
.134
.220
.075
.164
.153
.181
.157
.146
.268
him/her
I share personal
feelings with S
nickname for S
behaviors
are talking
I suggest 1 on 1 time
together
with S
I suggest trips
together
I invite S to do things
with him/her
I spend time with S
without need to talk
needed
172
I help S grow as a
.313
.348
.378
.351
.358
.355
.298
.170
.257
.237
.275
.267
.215
.317
I care for S
.089
.183
.198
.245
.223
.153
.340
I listen to S
.218
.216
.223
.255
.230
.175
.310
I take time to
.269
.302
.295
.326
.318
.244
.453
I hug S
.257
.346
.372
.430
.403
.322
.379
I hold S hand
.372
.430
.419
.431
.414
.364
.327
I cuddle with S
.376
.450
.465
.460
.417
.370
.384
.437
.478
.537
.441
.421
.406
.244
.399
.462
.460
.519
.491
.423
.329
I give S affectionate
.373
.473
.474
.501
.442
.412
.416
.223
.192
.218
.299
.266
.208
.271
.489
.433
.427
.395
.349
.400
.264
I give S cards
.444
.328
.314
.306
.275
.264
.228
I surprise S with
.659
.529
.617
.383
.349
.447
.185
.720
.491
.478
.402
.357
.411
.163
.742
.488
.530
.444
.407
.469
.130
1.000
.568
.564
.444
.412
.541
.201
.568
1.000
.632
.549
.537
.595
.232
I undress S
.564
.632
1.000
.636
.614
.653
.259
I initiate foreplay
.444
.549
.636
1.000
.853
.698
.290
I initiate sexual
.412
.537
.614
.853
1.000
.647
.268
.541
.595
.653
.698
.647
1.000
.240
.201
.232
.259
.290
.268
.240
1.000
person
I give S emotional
support
understand S
feelings
kisses
I buy gifts for special
days
I buy gifts for no
special occasion
dinners by
candlelight
I invite S to watch
sunset
I suggest walks in
the moonlight
I invite S to lay in
front of the fire
I invites S for
bath/shower
intercourse
I initiate
experimentation,
variety in sex
I give S orgasm
173
during sex
I talk with S about
.527
.631
.658
.618
.564
.666
.383
.450
.570
.555
.568
.524
.524
.357
sex
I kiss S passionately
I kiss S
about sex
passionately
I compliment S
.524
.646
.480
.617
.528
.628
.604
.541
I speak kindly to S
.389
.496
.481
.489
I smile at S
.509
.632
.508
.561
I wink at S
.501
.548
I flirt with S
.633
.638
.363
.425
.603
.645
.468
.471
.493
.555
.521
.492
.483
.522
.509
.520
.281
.356
.304
.391
.543
.538
.439
.499
I care for S
.346
.453
I listen to S
.350
.430
.460
.506
.555
.704
with S
for S
talking
I suggest 1 on 1 time
together
him/her
I spend time with S without
need to talk
feelings
I hug S
174
I hold S hand
.553
.657
I cuddle with S
.647
.685
.481
.499
.602
.709
.627
.787
.351
.476
.505
.556
I give S cards
.393
.460
.472
.440
.474
.426
.471
.453
.527
.450
.631
.570
I undress S
.658
.555
I initiate foreplay
.618
.568
.564
.524
I initiate experimentation,
.666
.524
.383
.357
1.000
.689
.689
1.000
occasion
candlelight
moonlight
I invite S to lay in front of the
fire
variety in sex
I give S orgasm during sex
I talk with S about sex
I kiss S passionately
175
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