CIVIL INITIATIVE - GROUP OF PARENTS AND MEGJASHI DEMAND AMENDMENTS TO THE LAW ON

FAMILY: Joint custody and responsible parenthood also after divorce

A group of parents demand amendments to the Law on Family and introduction of joint custody and
responsible parenthood even after divorce. Naum Ribaroski from the parents initiative for Akademik
says that the model of joint custody is a complete opposite to the current practice and the main goal
of the initiative of the parents initiative is to introduce 50-50 divided, equal, joint or shared custdy
so that fair position of the parents is established regarding exercising parents rights after divorce.
The childrens embassy Megjashi supports this initiative and they point out that children have the
right and deserve quality and responsible parenthood even after their parents divorce.
Group of parents: Amendments to the Law n family it is interpreted and applied wrongly
The main goal of the group of parents initiative to introduce 50-50 divided, equal, joint or shared
custody is to amend the current unjust position regarding exercising parents rights after divorce.
The current concept of one main parent (unless there is a mutual agreement which often is difficult
to achieve during divorce) to whom childrens care and upbringing are completely entrusted and one
minor parent who has a extremely limited time to exercise quality parenthood is primarily harmful
to children who de facto lose one of the parents. Therefore, we propose a new concept with which
both parents, even after divorce, will continue to have equal rights and responsibilities for the
children the same way when they were married, says Naum Ribaroski from the group of parents
initiative.
He emphasizes that the main problem does not stem from the current Law on family, but as he says,
from its incomprehensible interpretation.
It is not determined anywhere in the Law how much time the parent who does not have the
custody should spend with their children. However, in order to realize in practice the changes we

suggest, the Law must be changed because it is very genera and gives a possibility to all
interpretations. We propose three main amendments to the Law on family.
First, explicitly stating that the principle of equal rights and obligations of the parents to the children
continues even after the divorce is needed. Parents must agree on the care and upbringing of their
children after divorce, as well as to arrange the manner of seeing the children, taking into account
primarily the interests of children. Secondly, if an agreement is not possible between the parents,
the final decision on the care and upbringing of children will be made by Court on the
recommendation of the CSW, thus the mandatory and starting point when deciding will be divided
custody and equal seeing of children by both parents. This will apply to all cases except when the
court procedure and evidence will establish that one of the parents due to some reasons
(psychological diseases, alcohol or drug abuse, physical or sexual abuse, etc.) is not completely or
partially suitable for shared custody and it should be proportionately reduced or completely revoke,
depending on the situation. And thirdly, supplementing the provisions stipulating that the CSW will
supervise the exercising of parental rights, in the sense that the principle of equal maturity may be
subject to change only if it is found that this way of viewing is detrimental to the development of
children, if one parent it is not suitable to exercise parental rights or if one parent explicitly states
that they are unable or unwilling to see the children according to this principle", he explains.
Introduction of joint custody is necessary
According to him, the main cause of parental alienation in Macedonia is the current practice in the
case of divorce, children are given for care and upbringing to only one parent, whereas, as Ribaroski
points out, the other parent gets minimum time to exercise their parental right.
It is on average not more than 4 or 5 days monthly, and often it might be even less than that.
Parental alienation is done often by the parents to whom children are entrusted in an active way (by
constant negative comments about the other parent) and in a passive way (without direct negative
comments, but actions that lead to limited contact with the other parent of the children).
This, in fact, is committing psychological violence against children they are in a position where they
do not have another choice or opinion and gradually they accept the ugly image for the other parent
causing negative feelings or indifference for the other parent. This kind of abuse of custody is huge
phenomenon in Macedonia and it is done for various purposes mostly confrontation with the
former spouse, but other material and social purposes. Unfortunately, it is rarely spoken about this
phenomenon in public -it is not treated by the experts and no one in the CSW dares to take a stand
on the subject. The intention of this initiative is not only to open up the subject, but also to solve it
with a move - the introduction of joint custody", says Ribaroski, explaining that the model of joint
custody means that regardless of divorce, parents remain with equal rights and responsibilities for
children.
The model of joint custody is a complete opposite to the current practice
"It involves spending equal time with the children (for example, a week with one parent, one week
with the other parent), and an equal share in making important decisions for the child (in terms of
education, health care, engaging in sports, social and other activities, etc.). The model of joint
custody is a complete contrast to the current practice where children spend most of their time with

one parent, who on their own makes all major decisions for the children and the other parent's role
consists in occasional meetings with children without having any significant impact on their growth
and development", adds Ribaroski.
As he says, the model of joint custody provides benefits for all parties: for children, parents and
society.
"The children will not have a major and a minor parent, but will continue to feel equally love from
both parents. Regardless of the divorce, the two pillars on which the personality of the child is built
will still be present in their life. The main requirement for the occurrence of parental alienation will
be eliminated, there will be an easier and a faster way to overcome the divorce, reducing the
likelihood of depression or other negative psycho-emotional states that at a later stage could lead to
violence, addictions and other deviant behavior, eliminating stigma 'child of divorced parents and
successful growth and development through the use of all resources (human, intellectual,
educational, experiential, psycho-emotional, family, family, material and time) of both parents.
For parents it is a contribution that there will be a reduction of mutual tensions and referral
agreement and cooperation for the benefit of the child. With the current system, the most common
reason for a lack of agreement about children is that parents are at a disadvantage - a parent who
knows that they will get custody is in a dominant position and has no interest in an agreement with
the other parent. With joint custody and putting parents in an equal position, there will not a
possibility to use children for their own interests, but rather the interests of children remain single
topic to discuss. The excessive burden on one parent is eliminated.
Shared responsibility and time for raising children leave more space for both parents to engage in
terms of career, social activities etc. Then, the possibility of occurrence of depression, addictions and
other negative psycho-emotional conditions as a result of lost custody is diminished and, finally, it is
encouraged to form a family again even after divorce. The current system, the parent who lost
custody is not motivated to repeat the same mistake when he knows that in case of a new divorce,
the same great loss expects him", says Ribaroski.
Ribaroski points out that one of the benefits to society is the avoidance of discrimination and
creating unhappy citizens, then shorter and easier decision-making processes before the courts and
the CSW, and thus releasing resources and raising healthy generations - the psychological
consequences on children when losing one parent increase the opportunities to fall into socially risky
activities (violence, crime, tobacco, alcohol, drugs, early pregnancy, prostitution).
"With the introduction of dual custody, such risks are significantly reduced, and Macedonia will be
included among the most advanced democracies in the world which have implemented this system.
At the same time, the possibilities of initiating any legal proceedings against the state before the
European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg and other international human rights organizations
and children's rights, loss of budgetary resources for that purpose, and moreover, violation of
international reputation of Macedonia are reduced",
summarizes Ribaroski, adding that the concept of joint custody exists in many developed countries Belgium, the Netherlands, Switzerland, USA, Canada, all Scandinavian countries, Slovenia etc., where
in the legislation of each country, as emphasized, it is explicitly stated that children even after

divorce remain equal responsibility of both parents, i.e. both parents are equally responsible for the
care and upbringing of children and there is an obligation for parents to agree on the care and
upbringing of children, i.e. parents 'must' agree in the interest of the child.
The Childrens Embassy Megjashi supports the initiative for joint custody and responsible
parenthood even after divorce
The general stance of the First Children's Embassy in the World Megjashi, as an organization for the
protection of children's rights, is aimed at giving support to this initiative which comes from a group
of parents for the introduction of joint custody and quality parenting even after divorce.
"We give support to create a legal basis that will give both parents an opportunity to get joint
custody of the children if they meet the conditions and criteria for responsible parenthood.
According to international experiences, this concept is one of the most complex ones, but it is
considered the best solution for the child, Embassy Megjashi says.
"The competent court and the expert team from the social work centers, when evaluating whom to
entrust the child's custody and upbringing, should start from the position that both parents should
work together and directly to exercise parental rights, i.e. the starting point for the opportunity to
have joint custody should be equal and fair. The First Children's Embassy Megjashi advocates for
such an opportunity when the social work centers decide that both parents can take an equal share
of responsibilities in raising and upbringing the child and their proper growth and development. In
this way, both parents will have the same rights and obligations for the child in their growth and
development, and in making decisions about the child or to carry out responsible and quality
parenting after divorce. If in such starting point, the expert teams from the social work centers, in
accordance with predetermined criteria, determine that both parents can offer the child a quality
parenting, then shared custody should be a starting base.
But the given joint custody in the future should be a subject to continuous monitoring and
supervision by the expert services and reviewing, or monitoring of both parents in exercising their
parental rights and responsibilities. If during this monitoring it is determined that one of the parents
does not carry out quality parental rights and if it is not in the best interest of the child, the Centre
reserves the right to offer that the custody should be given to the other parent, and the first to
maintain personal relations and direct contacts with the child, taking into account the interests of
children, Childrens Embassy Megjashi consider.
Megjashi point out to the emotional and psychological development of children and considering
that, as they say, it is important for the child to have support and love from both parents.
"A child should never be put in a situation to choose between both parents. Divorce should be the
dissolution of marriage, not termination of parenting. For the child it is important to know that both
parents made the decision to divorce and that they were not responsible for that situation. Given
that this situation bears many questions about the child, the children need to be presented with the
situation in a way acceptable for their age and maturity, their needs to be put in the foreground and
always attention should be paid to the emotions of children.
The consent for joint exercise of parental rights, with which the child's parents agree that they will
do the parental rights and responsibilities together and with mutual agreement, among other things,

means determining the residence of the child because for the psychological sense of the child it is
particularly important that they know where their home is. This model implies strengthening the
quality communication between parents in order to reduce and prevent traumatic sense in children
due to the separation of both parents, Megjashi emphasizes.
Data from the SOS helpline for children and young
In this regard, Megjashi say that the number of calls for possible violations of the rights of children
during divorce proceedings is among a few most common violations of children's rights in the
country.
"SOS helpline for children and young people at the Children's Embassy Megjashi has existed for 22
years and it has registered over 20,000 calls. According to the data, the number of calls for possible
violations of the rights of children during divorce proceedings is among a few most common
violations of children's rights in the country. From these data we notice that the most violated child's
right is the right to see with one parent. Children have problems when they see the parent, and also
there are issues regarding given custody and alimony payments.
In divorce proceedings, which are increasingly common, most victims are children who suffer
because of the problems their parents have, which are mostly related to problems in their
communication. During the divorce proceedings, childs opinion is not always taken into
consideration, so children often have to make contacts with one of the parents, even though it is
against their will. Parents instead of fighting for quality parenting, they use the child to outwit each
other who will get custody of the child. Our intention as an organization is to commit to the one who
will be a better parent and that would pay greater attention and commitment to the child,
Megjashi say.
Respecting childs opinion
"As an organization whose mission is to protect children and their rights, particularly we want to
stress that, in deciding to entrust the child's care and upbringing, the child should be in the center
and it is of particular importance that they are asked and their opinion is respected, in accordance
with his age and level of development. Our experience shows that a child who has reached the age
of 10 years can freely express their opinion in situations that decide on his rights and should be
asked and consulted about their opinion", they add.
Childrens Embassy Megjashi remind about art. 12 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child
which states: "The child who is capable of forming his or her own opinion, member-states shall
ensure the right to their own opinion, the right to free expression of opinion on all matters affecting
the child, thus his or her opinion is given due weight in accordance with the age and maturity of the
child.
For that purpose, the child shall in particular be given the opportunity to be heard in any judicial and
administrative proceedings affecting him or her, either directly, or through a representative or an
appropriate body in a manner consistent with the procedural rules of national law."
"In the national legislation of the Republic of Macedonia, in particular the Law on family, there is no
general provision which could refer to taking into account the views and opinions of the child when

making a decision that is of importance to him. The Law on family in art. 79 says that the Centre for
Social Work should inform the child and take into account his views and opinions, but does not
impose a legal obligation to hear the child when deciding with which parent the child will live if the
parents do not live together or if the marriage is divorced .
We call this provision of the CPA be embedded in the Law on family, which would impose an explicit
legal obligation for all involved in making important decisions for the child, including entrusting the
child for care and upbringing", the Children's Embassy remind, adding that according to the
Constitution, "international agreements ratified in accordance with the Constitution are part of the
internal legal order and can not be changed by law.
"From the sated provision, it arises that international treaties as part of the internal legal order, i.e.
source of law are directly applicable by the courts in the RM and hierarchically stand higher than
domestic laws. The Committee on the Rights of the Child at the United Nations, as a body composed
of independent experts who monitor the implementation of the Convention and its Optional
Protocols in practice by all countries that have signed and ratified it, including our country, the latest
report for the Republic of Macedonia says although it notes the inclusion of the principle of respect
for the views of the child in a part of the laws of the member-state, however, it regrets that it has
not been done in a systematic way and while the legislation does not provide certainty that the
child's right to be heard in any judicial and administrative proceedings affecting the child and that
are consistent with the evolving capacities of the child", Megjashi point out.
The First Childrens Embassy in the World MEGJASHI explain the distinction between custody given
to one parent and joint custody.
Distinction between custody given to one parent and joint custody.
"Custody granted to one parent means the child will be entrusted for care and upbringing to one of
the parents, thus the amount of alimony to the other parent will be determined and the manner of
maintaining personal contact with the other parent. The parent who directly does not exercise their
parental right, has the right and duty to support the child to maintain contact with the child and to
decide on important issues for the child's life (health problems, education and so on.).
Direct, joint exercising parental rights means that parents will do their parental rights and
responsibilities together with mutual agreement, which must be in the best interest of the child.
Joint custody or joint exercising the parental right implies mutual consultation and mutual
communication of parents about all issues related to the child, Megjashi explain.
Quality and responsible parenthood
Supporting this initiative, the Childrens Embassy Megjashi advocates for and points out once again
that children have the right and deserve quality and responsible parenthood even after their
parents divorce.
"The competent state institutions are required to support parents in their parental duties regarding
the best interests of children. The aforementioned Committee for Children's Rights, on the basis of
the second periodic report submitted by the Republic of Macedonia in June 2010, in the family
environment provides the following recommendations to the Republic of Macedonia: "To take all

appropriate measures and programs to provide assistance to parents in realization of their parental
obligations, including through the development of programs that aim to improve parenting skills
(and competence).
Regarding the exercise of responsible parenthood, as an organization we recommend the
institutions to exhaust all possibilities about questioning whether marriage can survive taking into
account the consequences of divorce, i.e. both parents should be well informed about the
consequences of divorce for the children and the parents, and then for them or give them the
opportunity and the chance to consider the decision, if there are conditions for that", Megjashi say.