THE INNER CIRCLE NEWSLETTER

Welcome back to another issue of the

Inner Circle Newsletter! This months DVD
discusses the importance of body language and
how to project yourself in a confident, and
attractive, way to the world!
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How To Get Her Chasing You

By: Eric Disco

The best guys out there know something that other guys dont know.
There are a lot of important components to getting great with women,
but one important concept, particularly when it comes to very
attractive women, is qualification.
As Ive talked about before, your over-all goal in your interaction with
a woman is to show genuine appreciation. If she feels like you saw

something in her that no one else could, then she will feel differently
about you than every other guy in the world.
And when I say genuine appreciation, it usually means appreciation of
something shes shared with you. Maybe shes passionate about
painting and you can say Wow, I really like that. Youre passionate.
Thats important.
The problem is, most women wont just come out and display their
innermost important qualitiesand they wont display it to just
anyone. There needs to be attraction there first.
You start interacting with her and, ideally, she is attracted to you.
Part of this is that you simply took the initiativetook the leadto
come up to her and talk to her. Another part of this may be that you
are fun and flirty, you show confidence and personality, you have
confident body language, you touch her in the right way, etc.
You show your attractive qualitieswhich happens very quickly. You
can tell shes attracted if shes smiling or intently focused on you.
Then its time to appreciate her.
If she starts opening up, then thats great. You can begin emotionally
connecting her without challenging her in any way.
But with extremely attractive women, what sometimes happens is that
you walk up to her, you show some attractive qualities, and then she
does reveal something about herself, but its not enough.
Maybe she thinks youre confident and cool, so shell give you a
moment. You ask her what she does and she gives you one-word
answers.
Its not usually that shes shy, its often that there just isnt enough
attraction there.
Yes, you were attractive when you came up to her. And therefore
shes giving you a minute. But this girl is very attractive. And she
gets guys talking to her all the time. So shes not going to display her
inner most beauty to you right away. She wants to see what else
youve got.

Most guys make the mistake of trying to impress her. They talk about
how awesome their life is or try to build themselves up in some way to
her.
The problem with this is that you are always fighting a losing battle.
Always. No matter how cool you appear to her, the overall tone of the
interaction is that of you trying to impress her. That means she is the
decider. It is still her deciding whether you are good enough for her.
And so even if she does decide you are good enough, you still need to
continue to impress her for as long as you know her.
Its like you are going to a job interview. You may be extremely
qualified for the job, but shes still the boss interviewing you.
A guy who is great with women knows how to flip this around so that
its him deciding if shes good enough for him. Its called qualification.
Qualification is huge. This is how you get her to try to win your
approval. In a certain sense, this is at the heart of all game. Instead
of you trying to impress her and win her over, she is trying to win you
over.
Qualification is a tool that allows you to amp up the interaction to
make you more of a challenge.
If there is no attraction or rapport there in the first place, qualification
doesnt work.
Qualification is not in itself a way to attract her or connect with her.
Qualification is based on the fact that she has already invested
something in you, no matter how small.
You are baiting her to display more of herself by building on what she
has already displayed.
One of the reasons that qualification is such a difficult concept for
people to grasp is that you cant really use a line for qualification.
Theres a line that people use to try and qualify:
So youre beautiful, but what do you have going for you beyond your
beauty?

This line, in my opinion, is not only useless, but its not truly
qualifying.
This is because the original aspect of her being beautiful was not
something she displayed to you based on attraction. She is beautiful
to everyone.
But lets suppose you found out, from talking to her, that shes a
lawyer. This is something that she has revealed to you in
conversation. And she revealed that because there was some
attraction in the first place.
You could go up to a random woman on the street and say What do
you do for a living? If there is no attraction there at all, she wont tell
you. She wont stand there and talk to you.
But if you approached her and she stays and talks to you, you can
assume theres some attraction there.
If shes going to stay there and talk to you shell usually reveal
something about herself no matter how begrudgingly she does it or
how small it is.
But there may not be enough to get into really deep rapport,
particularly if shes gorgeous and a lot of men approach her.
So lets say she reveals to you that shes a lawyer but isnt giving you
much else.
This is where qualification starts to become important. You take what
she revealed to you, validate her, and then throw out a qualifying
question.
One of my favorite ways to do this is to think about what shes given
you (she said shes a lawyer), tell her what you think is cool about it,
and then think about in your mind what is generally considered bad
about lawyers.
Maybe lawyers are too uptight and dont know how to have fun.
So you validate what shes given you, then throw back a qualifying
question:

Oh cool, youre a lawyer? Wow, that takes dedication. But wait,

youre not one of those girls who doesnt know how to have fun, are
you?
Im using what she told me to come across as a challenge and further
amp the interaction.
Ideally, she will bite and display herself even more. She may tell me
that she likes to rock climb. Then I can validate her on that and
possibly even qualify again or simply just go deeper with her into what
shes loves about rock climbing to build an emotional connection.
Qualification is a somewhat advanced technique. You must first learn
how to
1) Get some kind of attraction first, no matter how small. If she wont
engage in conversation in the first place, trying to use qualification to
get to her engage in conversation wont work.
2) Truly emotionally connect with her. If shes sensing you dont know
how to appreciate what shes already given you, then she wont
display herself any further no matter how challenging you come
across.
Qualification is one of the most important aspects of getting great with
women. But once in place, it starts to make all your interactions a lot
easier.
One of the great things about starting to qualify women is that after a
while they can hear it in your voice tone. After a while, you give off a
vibe that you are checking to see if shes good enough for you. She
feels like youre trying to find out if she qualifies to be with you.
When you get good at qualifying, you no longer think about impressing
her. You are no longer struggling and struggling to pour on more
attraction by displaying yourself. Instead, youre challenging her to
display herself.
She starts to wonder whether shes good enough for you and stops
wondering whether youre good enough for her.
And she wants that! She wants to feel that if she were slightly less
cool than she was, you wouldnt be with her.

That makes her feel like shes living up to her fullest potential. Thats
exciting for her.

Meeting Women in High Energy Clubs & Bars

By: Robbie Kramer

Over the past year, Brian and I have been helping guys strip away the
anxiety and nervousness they feel around women. In no time at all, a
huge percentage of these guys have completely turned their social
lives around and last week I took 4 clients out to a college type bar in
Hollywood called Happy Endings to see how theyd do in a high energy
environment. This bar is basically filled with college girls, a lot of them
looked underage and frat boy types. The music is loud, the drinks are
cheap and everyone gets wasted playing beer pong and flip cup. Yeah,
I told you College bar!
Of the 4 clients I had with me, one of them clearly had a way higher
level of anxiety and nervousness, yet over the course of the evening,
he made out with multiple women including 2 girls at once and had the
time of his life! Lets call him Client A. Interestingly, the client who had
the least amount of anxiety and the best communication skills had a
very tough time in that environment. Lets call him Client B. This lead
me to a realization
Even though client B had way less anxiety, better communication
skills, more money, rockin style and a grounded energy, he was not
able to let go, get out of his head and have fun in that sort of crazy
environment. Now, if we had been out meeting women during the day
at Nordstroms, client B would have had a MUCH easier time then client
A. I noticed what was going on that night, so rather then instructing
client B to do a bunch of approaches which would have failed
miserably, I instructed him to stare at a flyer I found on the floor and
talk jibberish to it until it made him laugh. After a minute, he
substantially let go of all his thoughts and got out of his head enough
to start connecting with the crazy people in the bar. But the concept of
not thinking logically and acting like a total idiot was so foreign to him
that staying in that state was very difficult.
If you are wondering what the point of all of this is then Ill let you
have it. I constantly meet analytical guy after analytical guy that
wants to get better with women and rock the bar and club scene but
they are looking for a logical and analytical way to approach it. This is
why analytical approaches, techniques and step by step systems WILL
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NOT work if youre in your head. So the next time you are out, forget
all that mumbo jumbo bullshit that these pickup artists are preaching
to you and just try to let go, be crazy, make a fool of yourself and
have some fun. Meeting women in a bar should be crazy, fun, exciting
and completely insane, and if its not, I guarantee you are sucking and
not having a good time.

Six Myths The Nice Guy Believes

By: Eric Disco
The nice guy.
His world is held together by certain ingrained beliefs.
These beliefs cause him to fail with women.
Heres a closer look at the myths the nice guy believes and what to do
instead.
Myth 1: Being nice makes women feel better.
The nice guy is always on the lookout for other peoples feelings.
He tends to treat women like theyre weak, fragile creatures that will
crumble if he isnt extra careful with her.
Picture the scene. You just met her. You ended up having an amazing
night with her. Morning roles around and you have stuff to do.
You could say Hey baby, Im really sorry, but I gotta do some stuff
today, so I cant really hang out in bed with you much more. Is that
okay?
Or you could say Alright Im kicking you out! with a wink and a
smack on the ass.
The first way turns her stomach. If the fact that you have things to do
doesnt bother her, it will make her feel like a child.
If she is sad that you have to get out of bed so soon, the first way will
make her feel worse because she senses how you feel about it.
You feel bad, so she feels bad.
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This isnt to say that you should never think about her feelings. But
95% of the time, the nice guy is needlessly probing how she feels.
Hes expecting her to be hurt every time he asserts himself. This
annoys her to no end.
Instead take the lead and let her know how you feel. She can respond
how she wants. Shes a grown-up.
Myth 2: Getting smarter, more confident, or learning how people react
will take the mystery out of Love and therefore render Love less likely
to happen.
Ah, the blind idealistic naivet of my youth. In a way it was beautiful.
Every once in a while I would fall hopelessly in love with a woman who
treated me like garbage. And I had no idea why.
It was nice because I didnt need to take responsibility.
I could just wallow in the pathetic predicament that the stars, the
universe, god, her or anyone else had put me in.
I could blame everyone but myself. I didnt have to experience the
anxiety of changing my situation and possibly failing.
I didnt have to risk doing anything that could possibly lay blame on
myself for my failures.
Learning to be better and smarter with women does not render Love
less likely to happen.
Part of becoming better with women is becoming more in tune with
how you feel. It is about feeling more at the appropriate time and
place.
This renders not only Love, but true happiness much more likely to
happen.
Myth 3: There is a fine line between being assertive and being
aggressive.

Assertive is good, the thinking goes, because you never step into
someone elses boundaries.
Aggressive is badbordering on criminalbecause to cross someone
elses boundaries is wrong.
In reality, there is no line between assertive and aggressive. There
is no way that you can be completely unobjectionable and not step
over anyones boundaries.
Almost any initiative you take can be construed as overstepping her
boundaries, from walking up to her and talking to her, to holding her
hand on the first date.
It is impossible to explicitly ask permission every time you take
initiative with her.
You can and must respect her when she declines, and you should be
reading her signals, but being a bit more aggressive than you have
been in the past is part of getting better with women.
Myth 4: If you are in a relationship, regardless of how happy you are,
you as a guy need to settle for who youre with, because wanting more
means that you are a bad person.
This is more of a feeling than an outright assertion for nice guys.
You are with a girl. Somehow you got into an exclusive relationship
with her. You care about her. But you arent happy.
And you decide to stay in it because you feel like to want more means
that you are mean or bad or you want too much.
Staying in an unhappy relationship does not serve her or yourself.
As much as she may be into you, if you arent happy with her, it is
better for everyone involved if you end the relationship, no matter how
much temporary pain it may cause both of you.
Myth 5: Not moving into an exclusive relationship with a woman youre
seeing means that you are tricking her or that you had false
pretenses.
There are a lot of shoulds for the nice guy.
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He feels like he should be nice to her.

He feels like he should get her flowers.
He feels like he should check how shes feeling.
He feels like he should commit to her.
Youre shoulding all over her.
No woman wants to be with a guy who is constantly doing things
because he feels he should do them.
Getting better with women is about learning to get in touch with your
own feelings and what you want.
She may not want an exclusive relationship. She may be happy with
where things are.
She may not be ready for a relationship.
Or if she does express interest in taking things to the next level, you
may not be ready it.
To assume an exclusive relationship is always the best thing right now
risks strangling her feelings or yours.
Myth 6: Having become more confident or acted more aggressive, you
are missing out on opportunities you would have had if you had been
nice.
As a former nice guy, there is always a lingering thought in the back of
my mind that I am missing out on that special girl who would have
just happened to come along if I had only sat and waited instead of
become more confident.
This is perhaps one of the most powerful myths of all.
Why?
If you ask what Western civilizations dominant religion is, most people
would answer Christianity.

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But there is a religion that is much stronger and more influential.

Its the western ideal of True Love.
Its the idea that everyone of us has that perfect mate out there and
she will come along sooner or later if we just be ourselves.
Almost every romantic comdedy, action adventure and Disney movie
has convincingly preached this idea to us since we were children.
This myth tells us that if we are unobjectionable enough and keep
doing what were doing, Love will come to us. Its not something you
can go out and find.
Its true that if you become more confident and take more initiative
you will experience a lot more rejection than if you are the shy,
introspective guy hiding in a corner with a beer in his hand.
And some techniques are slimy. Some things you try will turn
women off.
But you know from past experience that what you were doing wasnt
working.
Part of the growth process for any endeavor is pushing yourself to do
what you were previously uncomfortable doing.
Have some faith in yourself to be able to sort the good from the bad.
You are a real, thinking, feeling human being that can discern when
something feels wrong.
Contrary to your fearful inclination, more niceness is not the solution.
True confidence in yourself and your own feelings is the solution.
You can become a confident, independent man who loves and feels for
women without being overly care-taking and mushy.

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