Aladdin

Centerstage 2013
ALADDIN
by Paul Hendy
List of Scenes
ACT ONE
PROLOGUE: Beneath the Great Pyramids of Egypt
SCENE 1: The Market Place in Old Peking
SCENE 2: The Street of a Thousand Goldfish
SCENE 3: Widow Twankeys Laundry
SCENE 4: In the Midst of the Mysterious Mountains
SCENE 5: Inside the Cave
SCENE 6: The Cave of Jewels
ACT TWO
SCENE 7: The Market Place in Old Peking
SCENE 8: Outside Aladdins Palace
SCENE 9: The Garden of Aladdins Palace
SCENE 10: The Street of a Thousand Goldfish
SCENE 11: Night Flight to Cairo
SCENE 12: Beneath the Great Pyramids of Egypt
SCENE 12(a): Abanazars Palace in Egypt
SCENE 14: Songsheet
SCENE 15: The Pagoda of Perpetual Bliss
SONGS: ACT ONE use lyrics as re-written ins cript

Welcome to the City Page 8
SPIRIT/ABANAZAR/ENSEMBLE/JUVES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-L0i5pnDxs
Good Old Fashioned Loverboy Page 20
ALADDIN/JASMINE/ENSEMBLE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkr9V41_e40
Not Even The King Page 26
JASMINE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahsFa6AYRaQ
500 miles Page 43
TWANKEY/PONGO/ALADDIN/JASMINE/ENSEMBLE/JUVES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ4Ib-7fJqY
Price Tag Page 53
GENIE/SPRIT/ALADDIN/ENSEMBLE/JUVES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLEAMpzQLTc
ACT TWO
Old Macdonald (Kid participation) Page 88
PONGO/ALADDIN
Prince Ali Page 57
SPIRIT/GENIE/ENSEMBLE/JUVES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEryAoLfnAA
The Twelve Days of Christmas (Splosh Scene) Page 63
ALADDIN/ENSEMBLE 1/PONGO
Defying Gravity Page 76
SPIRIT/ALADDIN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlMBcTGJ4YM
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (Ghost Gag Bench) Page 79
ALADDIN/PONGO/TWANKEY/ENSEMBLE/JUVES
If Youre Looking For Trouble Page 81
ABANAZAR, JUVES, ENSEMBLE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yg-1qW2xAU4
Think Page 86
SPIRIT/GENIE/ALL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsL9UL9qbv8
Pantomime (Pom Poms) Page 90
ALL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHitulGaS9k
ACT ONE
PROLOGUE - BENEATH THE GREAT PYRAMIDS OF EGYPT
MUSIC CUE: Overture
LX CUE: House lights to half
LX CUE: House lights out
FLY CUE: Show cloth out
MUSIC CUE: ABANAZAR Motif and underscore.
ABANAZAR is discovered on, leaning over a burning
brazier, incanting a spell
ABANAZAR:
fair is foul and foul is fair. (Suddenly he turns and looks

upwards) Behold! Here, in the pyramids of Egypt, beneath
the cavernous tomb of Ramses II I, Abanazar, Greatest
Sorcerer in the World, purveyor of all things evil
Underscore stops and ABANAZAR looks at the audience
....and leading thespian of my generation
Underscore re-starts
shall learn the secret of omnipotent power. On this dark,
iniquitous night, the Ancient Pharaohs have decreed that I could
be the supreme ruler of the universe with the help of this: The
Ring of Tutankhamen! (over-dramatically) But how... how do I
unleash its malevolent power?
Music stops and ABANAZAR, almost disappointedly,
addresses the audience
Ahem its strange but the Ancient Pharaohs mentioned that, at
this juncture, there might be some sort of audience participation.
Ill try again...
Music starts
(over-dramatically again) How?... How do I unleash its
malevolent power?
PLANT in AUDIENCE shouts Rub the ring
(encouraging audience) I beg your pardon?
AUDIENCE shout Rub the ring
You want me to rub Tutankhamens ring? An unusual concept
4
but it might just work.

ABANAZAR rubs the ring
PYRO CUE: DSR
SND FX CUE: Thunder
MUSIC CUE: Spirit motif
The SPIRIT OF THE RING enters DSR. She is a vision of
beauty and ABANAZAR drops to his knees in subservience
ABANAZAR:
Ah, beautiful apparition; I beg thee to impart thy vast knowledge

upon me. Speak... speak in what Im sure are delicate,
whispering tones like soft, silver bells tinkling on a light summer
breeze.
SPIRIT:
(in a very annoying accent) Al-wight buddeeeeee! Hows it

goin? Hahahahahahahahahaha
She has a ridiculously long and comedic laugh with one of
those annoying snorts at the end
ABANAZAR:
I beg your pardon?
SPIRIT:
I said... Hahahahahahahaaaaaa
She snorts again
ABANAZAR:
Stop that ridiculous laughing. You are the Spirit of the Ring, a
supreme being. You must tell me what you know!
SPIRIT:
(returning to a serious Spirit-like pose and voice) I do know

one very important thing.
ABANAZAR:
Tell me, powerful spirittell me what you know!

Beat
SPIRIT:
I know how to dance Gangnam Style hit it two, three,

four
MUSIC CUE: Gangnam Style (8 bars)
SPIRIT does a very comedic Gangnam Style routine
ABANAZAR:
Stop... stop... stop! What are you doing whats all this? (he
attempts to dance Gangnam Style!) Right... Lets get a
couple of things straight here. Who is your master?
SPIRIT:
(returning to a serious Spirit-like pose and voice) I serve the

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wearer of Tutankhamens Ring.

ABANAZAR:
Ha! Then you serve me! I have three wishes and as my slave
you must grant them. One: to have supreme omnipotent power.
SPIRIT:
(bowing) I can help you, O Master.
ABANAZAR:
Two: To rule the entire universe.
SPIRIT:
(bowing) I can help you, O Master.
ABANAZER:
Three: To be the greatest Shakespearian actor that ever lived!

Pause
SPIRIT:
Hahahahahahaha! Shut upppppppppp!
ABANAZAR:
What?
SPIRIT:
Im a Spirit, not a miracle worker! Look, if you want to rule the

universe and be a successful Shakespearian actor (she sniggers),
you need a more powerful Spirit than me. You need the Genie
from... (in a deep and dramatic voice with echo) The Ancient
Lamp of The Orient!
MUSIC CUE: Dramatic Chord
ABANAZAR:
Not (in a deep and dramatic voice with echo) The Ancient
Lamp of The Orient?
MUSIC CUE: Dramatic Chord
So how do I find this lamp?
SPIRIT:
The Ancient Lamp lies at the bottom of The Cave of Jewels in far
off China. It may only be retrieved by an innocent young boy,
pure of heart and generous in spirit.
ABANAZAR:
Young boy? Bah (to the audience) I hate children! What do I

need the help of a young boy for? Surely Im young enough to
get the lamp myself (aside to the audience) I can still play
juvenile lead!
SPIRIT:
If you enter the cave it will mean certain death. The only person
who can bring you the lamp is a boy called Aladdin and even he,
once inside the cave, will only have thirty seconds to retrieve it.
ABANAZAR:
Aladdin? Where will I find this Aladdin?
SPIRIT:
He is the son of Widow Twankey and you cant miss her, shes a
fat guy in a dress! Youll find her in the Rainier Beach district of
6
Old Peking.
ABANAZAR:
Old Peking in far-off China, eh? Can you take me there?
SPIRIT:
In the blink of an eye O master...

MUSIC CUE: Welcome to the City SPIRIT OF THE RING,
ABANAZAR and ENSEMBLE
She indicates for the temple to disappear and we are
magically transported to a busy marketplace in Old Peking
LX CUE: Bright State for Song
The ENSEMBLE and JUVENILES enter from all sides
SCENE ONE - THE MARKET PLACE IN OLD PEKING

MUSIC CUE: Welcome to the City SPIRIT OF THE RING,
ABANAZAR and ENSEMBLE
There is a busy marketplace... the ENSEMBLE and
JUVENILES enter from all sides
SPIRIT:
(over intro) Welcome to the City of Old Peking.
ABANAZAR:
Very clever, Spirit. Come on, lets find the boy, Aladdin.
SPIRIT:
Hold your horses, guy, weve got to do a bit of sight-seeing

first... Hello everyone!
ENSEMBLE:
(smiling and waving) Hello!!!

During the song, SPIRIT tries to show ABANAZAR the
sights of PEKING. He isnt that keen...
SPIRIT:
Ay ay
Well done, welcome to the city
You'll become number one
With a witty mind
You will spellbind
Follow me, Set me free, do whatever
Hit the wall, get the call
And I have to say
's no other way
Throw your pennies
In a wishing well
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Might get heaven

And you might get hell
Thunder, lightning
Ain't that kinda frightening
ABANAZAR
GENIE
Saints and sinners

On the road to fame
Ain't no winner
'Til we know your name
(spoken)
Abanazar!!
Black white, flashlight
Show me what you got
SPIRIT/ENSEMBLE:
Have a good bite out of the city
Take a long cold look at the world
You might crash, burn
Either way you'll learn
Good bite out of the city
(Ahh, ahh, ahh)
SPIRIT:
Free your mind, your behind's gonna follow

Do the crime, do the time
When tomorrow comes
We're the pretty ones
ABANAZAR
Very true, lets review, find the cave, rub the lamp
What I take, what I get
My prerogative
That's how I live
SPIRIT:
Throw your pennies

In a wishing well
Might get heaven
And you might get hell
Black white, flashlight
Show me what you got
SPIRIT/ENSEMBLE:
The way you want it or won't, yeah
Yeah, yeah
ABANAZAR:
Show and prove, do or die

8
SPIRIT:
BOTH:
We won't sleep, we won't cry

No no, we don't cry
Hit 'em low, hit 'em high
Take an eye for an eye
Evil music vamps
ABANAZAR:
(over music) Bah, Ive had enough of this singing and dancing
nonsense; we didnt do this in the park with Greenstage, or even
at Renton Civic.... Look, we must find the boy, Aladdin. He will
retrieve the lamp for me and when he does, tremble fools, for I
shall rule the world and finally be recognised as the major acting
talent that I am! Follow me, Spirit...
ABANAZAR exits SL. SPIRIT goes to follow him and then
decides to ignore him
SPIRIT/ENSEMBLE:
Yeah!
(Oh yeah)
(speaks) Ladies and Gentleman boys and girls, lets hear it for
Aladdin!
ENSEMBLE cheer. SPIRIT exits. ALADDIN enters
ALADDIN:
Well done, welcome to the panto

You'll become number one
With a witty tongue
We praise the young
Panto time is sublime do whatever
Hiss or boo, up to you
And I have to say
's no other way
ENSEMBLE:
Have a good time out at our panto

Take a long lovely look at the world
(Oh yeah)
You might laugh, shout
Either way you'll learn:
Good time out at the panto
LX CUE: Bright state for scene
At the end of song ENSEMBLE stay on

ALADDIN:
Hello! (audience react) Oh come on, you can do better than

that Hello! (audience react) Are you friendly? My names
Aladdin and I live here in Peking with my mom, Widow
Twankey! Now, here in Old Peking, Ive got my own gang
watch this: (to ensemble) Hiya gang!
ENSEMBLE:
(stepping forward and waving in a very obvious manner)

Hiya Aladdin!
ALADDIN:
Hey, seeing as youre so friendly, you can be in my gang if you

want do want to be in my gang? (audience react) Heres what
you do: Every time I come on, Im gonna shout Hiya gang and,
at the tops of your voices, you have to shout Hiya Aladdin!
Do you think you can do that? Lets have a go. Hiya gang
(audience react) Brilliant.
VILLAGER 1:
Hey, Aladdin, why dont we have a competition to see whos the

loudest?
ALADDIN:
Good idea, Unnamed Villager Number One thats what hes

called in the script! Yes, well have a little bit of audience
patronisation... I mean participation! Whos going to be the
loudest?... Will it be the boys and girls, will it be the mums and
the wrinkly grannies... or will it be the dads and grumpy
grandads? Lets find out shall we? All the boys and girls first...
come on boys and girls, dont let me down... Hiya kids! (boys
and girls react). (To Aladdin) That was very good... (Aladdin
agrees) OK, mums and wrinkly grannies next... Now, boys and
girls, if your mum doesnt shout out it means she doesnt love
you! Come on, mums... Hiya mums!(mums react) What do
you think, gang?
The VILLAGERS agree that they were good
ALADDIN:
Yes, but now its time for ones weve all been waiting for the
dads and the grumpy grandads... This will be good. Come on
dads, pretend you want to be here... Hiya dads! (Dads react
ALADDIN imitates them) Id rather be watching the
Seahawks! Now, in my gang, we have got a secret signal and the
secret signal is this (he does the secret signal).
MUSIC CUE: Cow bell
Lets see everyone doing the secret signal (audience do secret
signal) So whenever I come on Im going to shout Hiya gang
and you shout Hiya Aladdin and we all do (secret signal)
MUSIC CUE: Cow bell
10
This guy on the front row wasnt joining in at all so were

going to get him to do it all on his own! (he gets man on front
row - who, for the purposes of this script will be called
John to stand up, he asks him his name and gets him to
shout on his own) Now John, If you shout Hiya Aladdin and
do the secret signal really loud, I guarantee all these people will
go crazy with applause just for you, and let me tell you why:
because theyre all very glad its not them who has to do it. Hiya
John (John reacts and does secret sign) Give John a great big
round of applause (audience applause) So, youre all in my gang
now and you all know the secret signal
AUDIENCE AND ENSEMBLE react
SFX CUE: Police siren.
PONGO:
(offstage) Clear the streets, clear the streets!
ALADDIN:
Oh no, its the police!

LX: Flashing light
MUSIC CUE: Chinese-style Bad Boys play on
ALADDIN and VILLAGERS run to the sides as PC PONGO
enters USR in a RIDICULOUSLY SMALL ELECTRIC
POLICE CAR.
PONGO:
Hello (audience react) Oh, come on, my costumes louder

than that! Hello! (audience react) I am PC Pingu Pongo PingPong of the Old Peking Police - Party Pooper Patrol! I have to
admit thats not easy to say in this totally authentic Chinese
accent. I should have been here sooner but I was using the latest
Police technology its a Bonnie Tyler GPS.
He holds up a SAT NAV
ALADDIN:
A Bonnie Tyler GPS?
PONGO:
Yes, its useless It keeps telling you to turn around and every
now and then it falls apart! (to a VILLAGER) Would you park
that for me?... Make sure you lock it, this is Federal Way!
VILLAGER takes CAR off
ALADDIN:
Is the crime rate bad at the moment, Pongo?
PONGO:
Oh yes. We have a lot of theft. Only we dont call it theft in

Peking.
ALADDIN
Oh really? What DO you call it?

11
PONGO:
Chinese takeaway.
MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish!
And you cant trust anyone these days. I caught the cashier at my
local supermarket taking money from the cash register.
ALADDIN:
Why would she do such a stupid thing?
PONGO:
She thought the change would do her good.!

Ba-dum-tish!
Now, what are you up to, Aladdin? You look to me like a lazy
layabout who larks around looking for a laugh.
ALADDIN:
Im not lazy! I work for my mom at the laundry, were opening a

Mobile Chinese Takeaway and Ive got a job at the bowling
alley.
PONGO:
The bowling alley?
ALADDIN:
Yes, the bowling alley.
PONGO:
Tenpin?
ALADDIN:
No, its permanent!

PONGO:
Well look, youve got to clear the streets... Theyre proceeding

with precipitation through the precinct in a precise procession.
ALADDIN:
Who are?
PONGO:
The Emperor and his daughter, the beautiful Princess Jasmine
ALADDIN:
Princess Jasmine?
Aladdins legs go wobbly
MUSIC CUE: Percussion coconut knock
PONGO:
Oooooo!!! (to the audience) Did you see that? Aladdins got
Coconut Knee! A terrible infliction but you can get cream for it.
ALADDIN:
No, its not that (to the audience) Listen, can you lot keep a
secret? (audience react) Im in love with Princess Jasmine
(audience react) Oh, come on, Im more in love than that!
(audience react) I love her but she doesnt even know who I am
12
because Im just a humble laundry boy but one day... Im going

to be more that that... youll help me wont you, guys?
PONGO:
Well, you need to make sure youre not here when the Emperor
and Princess arrive. You know what you get if youre caught
looking at the Princess, the penalty is...
In a completely over the top manner, PONGO mimes the
actions to his own soundtrack of running, screaming, having
his throat cut, hanging, machine gun, stabbing, strangling,
hand grenade, and every other imaginable death intercut
with and now the end is near Tell Laura I Love Her and
Who Wants to Live Forever. He ends up on the floor
ALADDIN:
You dont mean we get...
PONGO:
(sitting up) Yes, a night out in Fife!

MUSIC CUE: Chinese Fanfare into drum roll
Oh no, this must be the Princess Jasmine now... (to ensemble)
Right, you lot, on your knees and avert your eyes from her
beautiful looks and stunning figure...
ALADDIN and ENSEMBLE drop to knees and bow as
MALE ENSEMBLE enter carrying a ROYAL SEDAN
CHAIR
(to audience) Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, bow your
heads and show due reverence to the most beautiful lady in the
whole of China...
Drum roll stops.
WIDOW TWANKEY steps out of the Sedan Chair
TWANKEY:
Hello, Federal Way!

MUSIC CUE: Short burst of Chinese Nothing Like a Dame
ENSEMBLE exit SL and SR, disappointed
PONGO:
Widow Twankey, its you!
TWANKEY:
Yes. Thank goodness Im here. Ive been shopping at Target!

(French pronunciation) Oh it was terrible!
PONGO:
I thought you liked Target.
TWANKEY:
I do. But a blind person came in with a seeing-eye dog.
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PONGO:
Theres nothing wrong with that.
TWANKEY:
No. But he picked up the leash and started swinging the dog
around his head...
She demonstrates
PONGO:
And no-one stopped him?
TWANKEY:
Well, I asked him what he was doing and he said: Oh, just
looking around.
MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum tish!
PONGO:
We thought you were the Princess Jasmine.
TWANKEY:
Well, I can understand your confusion; were both young, slim

and extremely beautiful! The only difference is... Im a widow
(audience react) Is that it? Id hate to break an arm in front of
you lot! Come on... Im a widow (audience react)... Better! I
lost my first husband... what a card game that was! Actually, he
died when he fell into a jar of coffee.
ALADDIN/
PONGO:
A jar of coffee?
TWANKEY:
Yes... at least it was instant!

So what are you up to, Aladdin?
ALADDIN:
Ive been talking to all these people. Theyre lovely

(indicating the man in the front row) Johns hard work!
TWANKEY:
Ooh, I can see John checking me out, though... Hello John!...

Hes looking at me thinking I dont stand a chance with that red
hot sexy mama... But you do, John, you do! Where would you be
without a laugh, eh?
PONGO:
(indicating the man in the front row) Sitting in the front row
with John! Are you enjoying yourself, John? (John reacts)
Could you tell your face about it?! (to TWANKEY) Now then,
whats this about you Twankeys opening a mobile Chinese
Takeaway?
TWANKEY:
Oh... the mobile Chinese Takeaway? (she shouts) Bring on the

mobile Chinese Takeaway!
An ENSEMBLE MEMBER brings forward a cart with the
sign TWANKEYS MOBILE CHINESE TAKEAWAY
14
Here it is now, look... youve heard of cordon bleu?

PONGO:
Yes.
TWANKEY:
This should be cordoned off!
ALADDIN:
Ill have you know, Pongo, this is the best food in China.
PONGO:
How can you be sure?
ALADDIN:
A million flies cant be wrong!
PONGO
What will you take off for cash?
TWANKEY
Everything except my earrings.
PONGO
Have you no scruples?
TWANKEY
No, but I could order you some.
PONGO:
What are those things on sticks?
TWANKEY:
Theyre senior citizens! (to the audience) Hello to all the

seniors! (audience react)
PONGO:
Look at that, its like a Depends convention! Three cheers for

the pensioners hip hip replacement! Tell me, Widow
Twankey, do you have Prawn Balls?
ALADDIN:
No its just the way he walks!
TWANKEY}
PONGO}
She!
ALADDIN:
Sorry, she!
PONGO:
Do you do soup?
TWANKEY:
Of course we do soup! Aladdin, tell him what soup we have.
ALADDIN:
We have (he does chicken impression) buckkk buckkkkk

buckkkk!
PONGO:
Chicken?
ALADDIN:
Mushroom!
PONGO:
Why did you do an impression of a chicken?
ALADDIN:
Because I cant do an impression of a mushroom!

15
From the back of the cart, PONGO picks up a PLATE FULL

OF MARSHMALLOWS
PONGO:
What are these marshmallows doing here?
TWANKEY:
Ah, youll love this, Pongo. We can teach you to be a magician.
PONGO:
Oh, Ive always wanted to be a magician.
ALADDIN:
What you have to do is close your eyes, wave your hand over the
plate, say the magic word abracadabra and all the
marshmallows will magically disappear.
PONGO:
OK, Ill give it a go... I close my eyes, wave my hand over the
plate...
As he closes his eyes, ALADDIN and TWANKEY take the
marshmallows and shove them in their mouths
...say the magic words abracadabra and all the marshmallows
will disappear...
He opens his eyes to see the empty plate. He is very excited
by his new-found talent
That is amazing! I didnt know I could do magic. Im so good I
think Ill try it again but this time with (in a very knowing
manner) twice as many marshmallows!
He brings out another PLATE WITH TWICE AS MANY
MARSHMALLOWS. TWANKEYS react
... you didnt see that coming, did you? (he looks into the
wings) And there seem to be more marshmallows than usual!
Good luck! Right, I close my eyes, wave my hand over the
plate...
He closes his eyes. ALADDIN and TWANKEY take the
marshmallows and shove them in their mouths. Their
mouths are full of marshmallows!
...say the magic words abracadabra and all the marshmallows
will disappear...
He opens his eyes and sees the empty plate
This is brilliant. I can see a whole new career as a magician! Ill
try it again but this time with two donuts!
He brings out TWO DONUTS. TWANKEYS react (their
16
mouths are still full of marshmallows). They look at each

other and shake their heads
Im looking forward to this, boys and girls! I close my eyes,
wave my hand over the plate...
He closes his eyes. ALADDIN and TWANKEY take the
donuts and shove them into their (already full) mouths.
...say the magic words abracadabra and the donuts will
disappear...
He opens his eyes and sees the empty plate
This is brilliant. I cant believe it! I tell you what boys and girls,
Im so good at this, this time Im going to make all the food
magically re-appear!
TWANKEYS shake their heads
Shall we make the food come back, boys and girls? (Audience
react). Right, lets all count from five to zero and when we get
to zero, all the food will magically re-appear! Ready Five
four
PONGO closes his eyes and counts. THE TWANKEYS
panic. ALADDIN has an idea. He and TWANKEY remove
PONGOS helmet. They go behind the cart and act as if they
are spitting the food into the helmet. They actually do a swap
and bring out an IDENTICAL HEMET WITH A HOLE IN
THE TOP which is filled with SHAVING FOAM
Right, here we go... abracadabra! (Nothing happens) Oh no, it
hasnt worked
TWANKEY/
ALADDIN:
Oh yes it has!
ALADDIN puts the IDENTICAL HELMET ON PONGOS
head and foam shoots out the top!
MUSIC CUE: Comedy sting
PONGO:
Why I oughta
PONGO exits DSL in a comedic fashion
TWANKEY
Thats got rid of him! Come on Aladdin, wed better get out of
here. The Emperors on his way.
ALADDIN:
I think I'll stay, mum; I may get a cheeky glimpse of the Princess.
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TWANKEY:
Oh, hes just like his father...
ALADDIN:
What, brave?
TWANKEY:
No, drunk!
ALADDIN:
I didnt know my father, did I?
TWANKEY:
I didnt know him very well myself!
ALADDIN:
How long were you together?
TWANKEY:
About twenty minutes! He never even took his hat off And I
was eating chips at the time! Listen, son, Id better go; I dont
want to be late for my over-acting class which starts in
TWANKEY looks at her watch. She totally overacts in a
very exaggerated manner and then just as suddenly she stops
five minutes! Ill see you back at the Laundry. Exit Widow
Twankey downstage right to a massive round of applause. Thank
you, thank you...
TWANKEY exits DSR
ALADDIN:
There's got to be more to life than washing other people's sheets...

I know I just have to believe in myself and something positive
will happen...
MUSIC CUE: Gong and Fanfare and marching drums
That sounds like the Emperor's procession... (To the audience)
What do you think? Shall I stay and see the Princess? (audience
react) Shall I risk it? (audience react) Right! They're getting
close - I'd better find somewhere to hide...
ALADDIN hides at the top of the treads DSL. The
EMPEROR enters USR
EMPEROR:
Left right, left right, left right... Come along, Jasmine! Stop
lagging behind!
PRINCESS JASMINE enters USR
JASMINE:
Oh, Father, why do you insist on marching everywhere?
EMPEROR:
Emperors are always preceded by mighty armies.
JASMINE:
But you haven't got any armies
18
EMPEROR:
Yes I have theyre up my sleevies!!

MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum tish!
JASMINE:
Why don't we stop pretending and let everyone know we're poor?
EMPEROR:
Were not poor. (at speed) Its purely a passing interlude of

monetary mortification, a temporary period of financial
embarrassment and a transitory phase of economic humiliation.
JASMINE:
Were broke!
EMPEROR:
Alright, were broke! But not for very much longer; in two days
time, the Chinese billionaire, Cha-Ching will arrive and if he
finds you acceptable then he'll marry you and our money troubles
will be over.
JASMINE:
EMPEROR:
JASMINE:
EMPEROR:
JASMINE:
EMPEROR:
Father, I refuse to marry Cha-Ching!... Hes ninety years old.

Eighty three to be precise
He weighs four hundred pounds!
A tad over weight perhaps...
And he dribbles when he talks!
BUT HES VERY RICH!
JASMINE:
I don't care how rich he is, Father, I wont marry him!
EMPEROR:
Excuse me, Miss Impertinence! I may be in somewhat straitened

circumstances but I am still The Emperor of China, and if I tell
you to marry Cha-Ching, you will marry Cha-Ching!
JASMINE:
But Father -
EMPEROR:
Silence! We shall proceed with our Royal procession... By the

left - quick march!
MUSIC CUE: Fanfare and marching drums
The EMPEROR exits DSL
JASMINE:
Father! Oh, what's the point?! I'm never allowed to meet

anyone of my own age. I'm sure there must be a boy somewhere
out there who'd love me for who I am and not just because I'm
the Princess of China...
ALADDIN emerges from hiding. MUSIC CUE: Intro Good
Old Fashioned Lover Boy
ALADDIN:
This could be your lucky day...

I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things
We can do the tango just for two
I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings
19
Be your Valentino just for you

JASM/ALADDIN Ooh love - ooh loverboy
JASMINE
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
ALADDIN
Set my alarm, turn on my charm
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy
ENSEMBLE
ALADDIN
BOTH
JASMINE
ALADDIN
BOTH
ENSEMBLE
BOTH
JASMINE
ALADDIN
Ooh let me feel your heartbeat

(Grow faster, faster)
Ooh ooh can you feel my love heat
Come on and sit on my hot-seat of love
And tell me how do you feel right after-all
I'd like for you and I to go romancing
Say the word - your wish is my command
Ooh love - ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight,
hey boy
Write my letter
Feel much better
And use my fancy patter on the telephone
When I'm not with you
Ill think of you always
(Theyll miss those long hot summer nights)
When I'm not with you
Think of me always
Love you - love you
Hey boy where do you get it from
Hey boy where did you go?
I learned my passion in the good old
Fashioned school of loverboys
They Dance
ALADDIN
ENSEMBLE
ALADDIN
JASMINE
ALL
Dining at the Ritz we'll meet at nine precisely

One two three four five six seven eight nine o' clock
I will pay the bill, you taste the wine
Driving back in style, a palace room will do quite nicely
Just take me to the takeaway would be fine
(Come on and get it)
Ooh love,
(There he goes again just like a good old-fashioned lover boy)
Ooh loverboy
What're you doin' tonight, hey boy
Everything's all right
Just hold on tight
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned fashioned lover boy
20
JASMINE:
Oh! We cant talk like this! Dont you know that it is forbidden
to look at me and that by staying here you could be in serious
trouble.
ALADDIN:
Im willing to take that risk.
JASMINE:
Really? What's your name?
ALADDIN:
Aladdin, Your Highness, Im one of your loyal subjects. I might

just do lowly jobs at the moment but I'm ambitious and I'm
determined to make a success of my life.
JASMINE:
Why are you telling me this?
ALADDIN:
Because... because when I'm rich, maybe then Ill be able to ask
for your hand in marriage!
JASMINE:
What nonsense you talk; moneys not important to me. (looking

around) Look, you must go - and keep it a secret that youve
seen me; if my father finds out he will have you killed!
ALADDIN:
Im not scared of your father
EMPEROR (OFF): JASMINE!

ALADDIN:
It would be worth dying just to know that Ive spent these few
moments in your presence.
The EMPEROR enters USL
EMPEROR:
JASMINE! (He spots Aladdin.) - What- who- when- how-PC

Pongo! PC PONGO!
PONGO enters
Pongo where have you been?
PONGO:
Alright I suppose. I just pulled over a man for speeding. I said

Sir I couldnt help but notice that your eyes are bloodshot.
Have you been drinking?
EMPEROR:
What did he say?
PONGO:
Officer, I couldnt help but notice that your eyes are glazed.
Have you been eating donuts?
MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish
EMPEROR:
Arrest him, Pongo do you hear me? Arrest him

PONGO grabs ALADDIN
21
PONGO:
Im sorry about this, Aladdin but I hope you appreciate that for
perusing the Princess you must pay the perilous penalty of
personal palpable pain?
JASMINE:
Don't be ridiculous, he meant me no harm.
ALADDIN:
Indeed not, sir. In fact, one day, I intend to marry your daughter.
EMPEROR:
You? Marry my daughter? Jasmine is going to marry a

millionaire, not a pauper like you!
ALADDIN:
I may be a pauper now sir but if I need to be a millionaire to

marry your daughter, then I promise you that one day I will be.
EMPEROR:
Nonsense boy. You will suffer for this (he calls) CALL FOR
THE EVIL EXECUTIONER!
PONGO:
CALL FOR THE EVIL EXECUTIONER!
ENSEMBLE (OFF): CALL FOR THE EVIL EXECUTIONER!

ENSEMBLE (OFF): HERE COMES THE EVIL EXECUTIONER!
PONGO:
HERE COMES THE EVIL EXECUTIONER!

MUSIC CUE: Percussion on footsteps
THE SMALLEST JUVENILE with a BIG AXE enters
dressed as EXECUTIONER
EMPEROR:
Ah, this is the Evil Executioner Nee Hi! Drum roll, please
MUSIC CUE: Dramatic drum roll
Aladdin, do you have any last requests?
ALADDIN:
Only for the Princess to know that I love her.
JASMINE:
Oh, Aladdin...
ALADDIN:
Do you believe in me, Princess?
JASMINE:
I believe in you.
ALADDIN:
Then thats enough for me.
EMPEROR:
The impudence of the boy!
JASMINE:
Father, you cant do this... I forbid it!
22
EMPEROR:
Nonsense! Off with his head!
PONGO:
Aladdin, prepare to meet your death!

The DRUM ROLL increases the tension
THE EVIL EXECUTIONER lifts the AXE. He brings it
down on the back of ALADDINS neck.
There is a pause. The drum roll stops. Everyone looks DSR
There is a long, embarrassing pause and it is obvious that
somebody should have entered
TWANKEY enters DSR. She is out of breath and shes
obviously missed her cue
TWANKEY:
STOP!!!!!! (to the audience) I nearly missed that!
PONGO:
That could have been a very short show!
TWANKEY:
Hey, what are you doing with my son?
EMPEROR:
He is about to have his head chopped off.
TWANKEY:
You cant do that. Hell have nowhere to keep his hat!
EMPEROR:
Enough of this! Start the proceedings!

TWANKEY throws herself at the EMPERORS feet in an
completely over the top manner
TWANKEY:
Oh no, take me take me take me
EMPEROR:
Very well
The EXECUTIONER raises his axe
TWANKEY:
(Scampering away SR quickly) ...To Disneyland! Good grief

let me finish!
EMPEROR:
YOURE WASTING MY TIME! Off with his head.
TWANKEY:
No, wait Would you permit a condemned man one last meal?
EMPEROR:
I dont see why not, what is your request?
TWANKEY:
Would it be possible for my little boy to have one of his mothers

custard pies?
EMPEROR:
A custard pie? Do you want a custard pie, boy?

23
ALADDIN:
Oh, erm... Id love a custard pie, sir!
EMPEROR:
Well, I dont see what damage can be done with a custard pie.
Very well.
TWANKEY:
Pongo, get the people from the village to bring it on the custard
pie!
PONGO:
(he shouts) Could the people from the village bring on the
custard pie!
MUSIC CUE: YMCA play on
4 members of the ENSEMBLE enter DSR. They stand next to
TWANKEY.
One is wearing an INDIAN CHIEFS
OUTFIT; one is wearing A COWBOY OUTFIT; one is
wearing a SAILORS UNIFORM; one is wearing an
AMERICAN COPS UNIFORM. They all have handlebar
moustaches! One of them is holding a CUSTARD PIE.
PONGO:
I said the people from the village... not the Village People! Get
off!
The VILLAGE people look dejected and exit DSR
MUSIC CUE: YMCA play off
TWANKEY:
Now, boys and girls, if you want to find out what that joke was
all about, you need to speak to your favourite Uncle who lives
with his special friend!
TWANKEY:
(to Aladdin) Now, you do want these custard pies, dont you,
son?
TWANKEY has CUSTARD PIE
ALADDIN:
Oh, yes please mum!
TWANKEY:
(in a very obvious manner) Now, you wont move out of the
way, will you? Because we dont want to hit PC Pongo in the
face with a custard pie, do we boys and girls?
Audience react
TWANKEY:
Shall I? Shall I? Three, two, one

ALADDIN ducks as TWANKEY pushes custard pie into
PONGOS face. TWANKEY turns around and kisses the
EMPEROR on the cheek and he recoils in horror. Amid the
chaos, ALADDIN AND JASMINE make their escape into
24
auditorium
ALADDIN:
Come on, Princess Jasmine!
EMPEROR:
PC Pongo after them!

PONGO blows his whistle and chase begins
MUSIC CUE: Misirlou (Chase Music)
PONGO and EMPEROR chase ALADDIN, JASMINE,
TWANKEY, THE VILLAGE PEOPLE (who have come
back on) and JUVES around auditorium. The sequence ends
with everyone exiting in all directions. ALADDIN and
JASMINE return to stage laughing and breathless
ALADDIN:
We seem to have lost them
JASMINE:
This is so much fun!
ALADDIN:
We have to be careful though, the guards will be looking for us.
JASMINE:
But its so exciting, Ive never felt so free!

Beat
ALADDIN:
And Ive never felt so in love.
JASMINE:
Really, Aladdin?
ALADDIN:
Really, Princess Jasmine. When I woke up this morning I knew

this was going to be the most exciting day of my life
JASMINE:
And is it?
ALADDIN:
Yes, because todays the day I finally met the girl of my

dreams
JASMINE:
(teasing him) And who would that be?
ALADDIN:
(taking hold of Jasmines hand) You, of course. Listen, youd

better get back to the Palace.
JASMINE:
But will I see you again?
ALADDIN:
Oh definitely, but next time you do, Im going to be rich enough

to ask you to marry me.
MUSIC CUE: Not Even The King JASMINE
JASMINE:
You dont have to change what you are just to please me. I like
being with you; I like the way you make me feel about myself.
25
You wouldnt have to be rich, Aladdin. Listen...

Money...
Some people so poor; all that they've got is money...
Oh, and diamonds...
Some people waste their life counting their thousands...
I don't care what they're offering...
How much gold they bring.
They can't afford what we've got,
Not even the king...
Oh, castles...
Some people so lonely; what good is a castle
Surrounded by people?
But ain't got a friend that's not on the payroll...
Oh, and I don't care what they bring;
They can have everything...
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Came charging to get what we got...
They offered the crown and they offered the throne;
I already got all that I want...
All the king's horses and all the king's men;
They came marching through...
They offered the world just to have what we got,
But I found the world in you...
I found the world in you...
So darling, listen:
Your arms around me worth more than a kingdom...
Yeah, believe that
The trust that we feel the kings never felt that...
Yeah, this is the song we sing...
We don't need anything...
They can't afford this;
This is priceless...
Can't afford what we've got,
Can't afford what we've got,
26
LX CUE: Blackout
FLY CUE: Street Front Cloth In
SCENE TWO - THE STREET OF A THOUSAND GOLDFISH
LX CUE: Bright state
MUSIC CUE: ABANAZAR entrance motif
ABANAZAR enters DSL dramatically (carrying an
ACTORS SUITCASE)
ABANAZAR:
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,

Shakespeares Henry V, Act III, Scene I. No please, hold your
applause (Beat. He looks around) Oh, you are! Well, here
we are and finally I am within touching distance of the most
powerful object in the known universe... The Ancient Lamp of
the Orient!
MUSIC CUE: Dramatic chord
(He gives the band a withering look. He calls) Spirit!... Spirit!
SPIRIT enters DSR
ABANAZAR:
Ah, there you are, Spirit. Now, where is this boy, Aladdin?
SPIRIT:
Oh, he lives very close to here in the district of Old Peking

known as Wan Long Poo.
ABANAZAR:
Wan long Poo?
SPIRIT:
Yes,
ABANAZAR:
What a dump!
SPIRIT:
Well it's not Enumclaw. This is the Street of The Thousand

Goldfish in the City of Old Peking, oh great Avabanana
ABANAZER:
My name is Abanazar. Dont ever call me that.
SPIRIT:
Oh sorry.
ABANAZAR:
I am a respected Shakespearian thespianThat name.
SPIRIT:
What name?
ABANAZAR:
That name you just called me.
So, this is Cathay is it?
27
SPIRIT:
Avabanana?
ABANAZAR:
Argggghhh! Right... Lets get this cleared up straight away. I

am not called Avabanana. I have established a long and
successful career as a respected Shakespearian thespian and parttime criminal mastermind whose name spreads fear and terror
throughout the world. I AM ABANAZAR!
SPIRIT:
Wait a minute. Arent you the dude in Preparation H

commercial?
ABANAZAR:
Silence! So now were in Peking, how do I find the lamp?
SPIRIT:
Which lamp?
ABANAZAR:
The Ancient Lamp of the Orient!

MUSIC CUE: Dramatic chords
ABANAZAR:
(indicating the band) Are they going to play that every time I
say those words?
SPIRIT:
Which words?
ABANAZAR:
The Ancient Lamp of the Ohhhhhh-... (he realizes what she is

trying to do) I see what you did there, you tried to get me to say
it again... Are you trying to wind me up?
SPIRIT:
No, but if was, I know where Id stick the key! Look, we have to
find the boy Aladdin first. He lives with his mother, Widow
Twankey you cant miss her, shes a fat guy in a dress!
ABANAZAR:
How do we get to her laundry?
SPIRIT:
Well, you go out of here, first left, second right, straight over the
roundabout and right at the traffic lights. You then do a left and
you come to that new Chinese restaurant where they throw the
silverware out of the window
ABANAZAR:
They throw the silverware out of the window?
SPIRIT:
Yes, youll see a fork in the road! You take that, go down the
hill, second on the left and the laundry is just past DQ
ABANAZAR:
Is there a DQ in Peking?
SPIRIT:
No but there is a P and a K!

ABANAZAR:
Enough of this! If you are not careful I will confine you in this
ring forever! Now, lead me to Widow Twankey.
28
SPIRIT:
Yes, O Master.
ABANAZAR:
Take me there in the blink of an eye.
SPIRIT:
Yes, O Master.
ABANAZAR
And carry my bags for me!
SPIRIT:
Dont push your luck Avabanana!

The SPIRIT OF THE RING exits DSL
ABANAZAR:
So, the plan is... (at speed) Go to the laundry, charm Widow
Twankey, persuade Aladdin to go to the cave of jewels and once
there, he will get for me... The Ancient Lamp of the Orient!
(to the band) Ahem... Excuse me, gentlemen, youre giving me a
slight migraine. Would you mind not playing that every time I
say those words?
BAND:
Which words?
ABANAZAR:
The Ancient Lamp of the Orient!

MUSIC CUE: Dramatic chords
(losing his temper with the band) Enough... enough! Do that
again and youre in serious trouble. OK?
The band dont answer
OK?
BAND:
Sorry, Avanbana!
ABANAZAR:
DONT CALL ME THAT NAME! Right... this is my dramatic

bit.
He goes down on one knee
Could I have the lighting down to a dark and mysterious state,
please...?
LX CUE: Snap Blackout
Not quite that dark and mysterious.
The lights come up slightly
29
LX CUE: Mysterious state

Thank you
MUSIC CUE: Abanazar underscore
My hour of triumph now draws near,
With Aladdin's help I've nought to fear;
The greatest actor in the Universe,
You can boo if you like but youve seen a lot worse!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
MUSIC CUE: Abanazars motif
ABANAZAR exits dramatically DSL. After a couple of
beats, he returns somewhat sheepishly. He has forgotten his
SUITCASE
Erm... Ill just get the old suitcase and then well... erm...well
carry on...
He walks across the stage, picks up the SUITCASE from
DSR and returns to DSL. Just before he exits, he attempts a
half-hearted evil laugh
Hahahahahahahahahah.... ha ha... Oh whats the point!
He exits DSL
MUSIC CUE: Abanazars evil motif into Twankeys Dame
motif
FLY CUE: Street Front Cloth Out
LX CUE: Bright state for Laundry
SCENE THREE - WIDOW TWANKEY'S LAUNDRY
TWANKEY is found on holding a LARGE PAIR OF
KNICKERS
TWANKEY:
(she sings to the tune of Wouldnt it be Lovely) All I want

are some knickers like these, keeps me warm from my neck to my
knees! Hello, boys and girls, mums and dads and alternative
family units! Welcome to Widow Twankeys laundry... Ive got
some really sad news: Our pet leopard, Tiddles, died this
morning in the washing machine (audience react). Still, at least
he came out spotless!
Enter ALADDIN and PRINCESS JASMINE through door.
JASMINE is carrying a BALL OF WASHING
30
ALADDIN:
Hiya gang! (audience react secret signal)
TWANKEY:
Hello, son. Hey, what are you doing with the Princess Jasmine?
If the Emperor finds out, hell have us all killed.
JASMINE:
I promise I wont let that happen, Widow Twankey. Oh, by the

way, seeing as Im here, I thought you could do my laundry for
me.
JASMINE hands TWANKEY a basket of laundry. She pulls
out a colorful sock
TWANKEY:
Of course, dear. Oh what a lovely sock! Do you have a match for

it?
JASMINE:
Why? Are you going to set it on fire?

TWANKEY
Not much of a laugh for that one, dear. Lets try it again. Oh
what a lovely sock! Do you have a match for it?
JASMINE:
Why? Are you going to set it on fire?

TWANKEY shakes out the socks
TWANKEY:
Right, to wash your socks, heres what we need to do Hit it!

MUSIC CUE: Rap-style backbeat
TWANKEY puts the socks into a LARGE BOWL (already
set) TWANKEY start to rap. ALADDIN and JASMINE
dance in a comedically cool way
TWANKEY:
Into the water, out of the water,

Up to the light, nice and bright,
Across the nose (backbeat stops) smells like a rose!
There is a pause
TWANKEY:
Ah, there goes the doorbell...

SFX CUE: Door bell
ALADDIN:
How does he do that?
TWANKEY/
JASMINE:
She!
31
ALADDIN:
Sorry she!
JASMINE:
(looking through the door) Its PC Pongo!
ALADDIN:
(to the Princess) Hed better not find us together...
TWANKEY:
Dont worry, son. Princess, you get in the Tumbly drier; Aladdin,
you hide in the laundry basket.
ALADDIN takes JASMINE by the hand
ALADDIN:
Princess Jasmine, I promise you that, soon, Ill have enough

money that you wont be ashamed to be seen with me.
JASMINE:
Im not ashamed now, Aladdin. You love me for who I am, not
what I am and that means more to me than all the money in the
world
TWANKEY:
(interrupting them) HURRY UP! Oh, dont they go on

TWANKEY helps PRINCESS into TUMBLE DRIER and
ALADDIN hides in the LAUNDRY BASKET. TWANKEY
goes to the door
Come in...
PC PONGO enters through door (with BASKET of
WASHING)
PONGO:
Ah, Widow Twankey, I am in search of the Princess who was last

seen promenading in your sons presence; do you have any idea
of her proximity?
TWANKEY:
(in a very obvious manner) No, we havent seen her, have we,
boys and girls?
PONGO:
(examining his notepad) Well, seeing as Im here, weve had a

phone call from one of your customers making a complaint about
this laundry A Miss So-Shy from Shelton.
TWANKEY:
Miss So-Shy from Shelton?
PONGO:
Yes, shes a seashell shifter.
TWANKEY:
Miss So-Shy, the seashell shifter from Shelton? What did she
say?
PONGO:
She said shes a shirt short.
TWANKEY:
She said shes a shirt short?
32
PONGO:
She said shes shaken, shocked and shattered that shes a shirt
short.
TWANKEY:
Shes shaken, shocked and shattered that shes a shirt short.

What sort of shirt is Miss So-Shy from Shelton short of?
PONGO:
A short chiffon shirt!
TWANKEY:
Miss So-Shy said shes short of a short chiffon shirt?
PONGO:
Yes and a sheepskin sheet.
TWANKEY
(cod crackup etc.) A Sheepsthats not in the script!
PONGO
A sheepskin sheet.
TWANKEY:
A sheepskin sheet? Is there such a thing as a sheepskin sheet?
PONGO:
Yes. Miss So-Shy said she cant seem to sleep a peep since shes
short of a sheepskin sheet.
TWANKEY:
Let me get this straight
PONGO:
Good luck!
TWANKEY:
Thank you! Miss So-Shy the seashell shifter from Shelton is

shaken, shocked and shattered that shes a short chiffon shirt
short and she cant seem to sleep a peep since shes short of a
sheepskin sheet.
She waits for the applause
What did you tell her?
PONGO:
I told her shed got the wrong number!

They both laugh
Here, Twankey, will you wash these for me?
MUSIC CUE: Theme from Rocky
LX CUE: Boxing match
TWO MALE ENSEMBLE wearing SHORTS and BOXING
GLOVES jump on DSR and begin boxing.
Music stops
TWANKEY:
What are they?
33
PONGO:
A pair of boxers!
This is very subtle stuff, ladies and gentlemen!
TWANKEY:
Come on you two, in you get! (She pushes the BOXERS

towards the WASHING MACHINE) Hes got a lot of make-up
on for a boxer!
PONGO:
(grabbing one of the BOXERS and helping him into the

machine) This is Cal, Ladies and Gentlemen go on, Cal in
you go, Cal...
Boxers gets into the WASHING Machine
Cal is in the washing machine and hes totally disappeared We
like to put him in there because washing machines last longer
with Cal gone! I thank you! Actually, if youre doing my boxers
you might as well do my other laundry
He hands her A BALL of WASHING
TWANKEY:
(sarcastically) Oh, deep joy. Right, what have we got here?

TWANKEY pulls out a LARGE VEST
PONGO:
Oh, thats what I catch criminals with.
TWANKEY:
Thats what you catch criminals with?
PONGO:
Yes, I put it over their heads and say Youre under a vest!
TWANKEY/PONGO: Under a vest!...

Beat
TWANKEY:
Pongo, youre very funny!
PONGO:
(looking into the audience) If only the people of Federal Way

agreed! You see, Widow Twankey, can I let you into a secret? I
dont like working for the Emperor; in fact, Id love to be in
Aladdins gang... Ive even learned the secret signal!
He does the secret signal. WIDOW TWANKEY does it back
at him
MUSIC CUE: Cow Bell
34
TWANKEY:
Brilliant! Boys and girls, PC Pongos in the gang! (audience

react) Now, seeing as youre in the gang, Ill wash your vest for
you this is what we have to do... hit it!
TWANKEY puts the vest into the LARGE BOWL
MUSIC CUE: Rap-style backbeat
TWANKEY raps. PONGO dances in a comedically cool way
TWANKEY:
Into the water, out of the water,

Across the nose (backbeat stops) smells like a rose!
And now we need to put the vest through the mangle I tell you
what, you look like you need a bit of mangling yourself (giving
him the VEST). Hold that and get through there.
She helps PONGO through the mangle. As she does so,
JASMINE immediately re-enters through the TUMBLE
DRIER and ALADDIN comes out of the BASKET
JASMINE:
Widow Twankey, its getting very hot in there.
ALADDIN:
Hiya gang! (secret signal)

MUSIC CUE: Cow bell
(running to Jasmine) Princess, are you OK?
JASMINE:
Im fine, Aladdin. Wheres Pongo?
TWANKEY:
Its alright, hes in your gang now but Ive just put him through
the mangle. Here, watch this
She turns the handle and a FLAT PONGO (LARGE
PHOTOGRAPH OF PONGO) comes out of the mangle.
ALADDIN grabs it and comes downstage
ALADDIN:
Look at that, not only is he in my gang, hes now my flatmate!
TWANKEY:
I always said he wasnt cut out to be a policeman! Are we

facing the right way?
JASMINE:
Lets put him in the washing machine, maybe we can puff him up.
TWANKEY:
(putting the cut out in the washing machine) Puff him up?
JASMINE:
Yes.
TWANKEY:
Im saying nothing! Oh, there goes the doorbell

35
SFX: Doorbell
ALADDIN:
How does he do that?
TWANKEY/
JASMINE:
She!
ALADDIN:
Sorry, she! (looking through the door). Its the Emperor!
TWANKEY:
Quick, Princess, back in the tumbly drier, Aladdin, back in the

basket!
JASMINE quickly exits into TUMBLE DRIER. ALADDIN
rushes back into the BASKET
Come in!
EMPEROR enters just as the others disappear
EMPEROR:
Ah, there you are, Widow Twankey. My daughter, the Princess,

was last seen in your sons presence? Have you seen them?
TWANKEY:
(in a very obvious manner) No, we havent seen them, have we

boys and girls? (audience react)
EMPEROR:
(Handing TWANKEY A BASKET OF WASHING) Well,

seeing as Im here, you can do my laundry for me.
TWANKEY:
Funny that What have you got for me?

TWANKEY pulls out a LARGE PAIR OF Y-FRONTS they
are very dirty!
EMPEROR:
Ah, those are my Y Fronts.
TWANKEY:
Oh, lovely... (he shows them the audience) Look at the state of
those (TWANKEY smells them and they obviously dont
smell too good. TWANKEY comedically retches) Youre
not a Star Trek fan, are you?
EMPEROR:
Why?
TWANKEY:
I think youve got a couple of Klingons!...

Still, at least its not the Captains log! Right, here we go
She puts the pants into the bowl and starts to rap. The
EMPEROR dances in a comedically cool way
36
MUSIC CUE: Rap style back beat

(raps) Into the water, out of the water,
Across the nose (backbeat stops)
They obviously arent clean! She immediately raps again:
(backbeat starts again) Into the water out of the water
(backbeat stops again)
TWANKEY:
Lets forget that. Look, I think the best thing is if we put all your
clothes in the washing machine... I tell you what, to save time,
why dont you just get in yourself
EMPEROR:
Oh, very well, Widow Twankey.

TWANKEY
MACHINE
TWANKEY:
helps
the
EMPEROR
into
WASHING
So thats Aladdin in the smelly sox box, the Princess in the

tumbly drier, and Pongo, the Emperor and the boxers in the
washing machine Oh, I do miss my days touring with the
Pussycat Dolls! Life was so much simpler then
WIDOW TWANKEY bends over with her bottom facing the
audience and busies herself with A BASKET OF WASHING.
MUSIC CUE: Abanazar entrance motif
ABANAZAR enters USR (through door)
ABANAZAR:
At last - Widow Twankey's laundry! To get Aladdin on my side

I'll need his mothers help. (He notices Twankey) Arghhhhh!
Look at the state of that. This will have to be my finest
performance to date! Behold! Tis the east, and Widow Twankey
is the sun. (TWANKEY wipes her cheek) See, how she leans
her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand,
that I might touch that cheek!
TWANKEY scratches her bottom
MUSIC CUE: Scratching
Urggghhh! Now to use my charm...
ABANAZAR gooses WIDOW TWANKEY
MUSIC CUE: Honk
37
TWANKEY:
Three pints please, milkman. [She turns around and sees

ABANAZAR] Arghh! Avabanana!
ABANAZAR:
Dont call me that name! Allow me to introduce myself, ma'am:

Tis I
TWANKEY:
Hello Mr Tis I.
ABANAZAR:
No, Tis I Abanazar all powerful supreme sorcerer and parttime thespian. (to the audience) All legitimate offers
considered!... (From his sleeve he produces A BOUQUET OF
FLOWERS) Pour toi!
TWANKEY:
How touching. I haven't been so touched in years.
ABANAZAR:
I'm not surprised! I have travelled from a far-off land of mystery

and romance
TWANKEY:
Not... Spanaway?
ABANAZAR:
No! Egypt! You must know, Widow Twankey
TWANKEY:
I do know her, its me
ABANAZAR:
You must know, Widow Twankey, that I am strangely attracted

to you. Do you like to be wooed?
TWANKEY
I love to be wooed. If you want I can be weally weally

wooed!
ABANAZAR:
I have something very important to ask you, Widow Twankey

He goes down on one knee, grabs Twankeys hand, rolls her
in and sits her on his knee
TWANKEY:
ABANAZAR:
TWANKEY:
ABANAZAR:
TWANKEY:
ABANAZAR:
TWANKEY:
ABANAZAR:
TWANKEY:
ABANAZAR:
TWANKEY:
ABANAZAR:
You dont mean

I might
You cant
I can
I dont
You do
But why
I will
You wont...
I want...
You want?...
I want you to get off my leg...
TWANKEY stands up and ABANAZAR tries to get some life
back into his leg
38
TWANKEY:
(to Abanazar) Tell me, do you really find me attractive? You

dont think Im too tubby?
ABANAZAR:
Tubby?
TWANKEY:
Yes, tubby.
ABANAZAR:
Tubby or not tubby? Fat is the question!

They get worse Tell me, Madame, would you like to join me
for dinner this evening?
TWANKEY:
I cant this evening, Cabellas has a half-price sale on all their

camping equipment.
ABANAZAR:
Oh, yes I had heard that now is the winter of their discount tents!
MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-ba-dum-ba dum- tish!
You were warned! Widow Twankey... do you have a son,
Aladdin?
TWANKEY:
I do. Why do you ask?
ABANAZAR:
Because I am his long-lost uncle! Do you not see the likeness

between your late husband and myself?
TWANKEY:
I'm afraid not!

ABANAZAR produces a money-bag and jingles the coins
ABANAZAR:
Ahh what a pity, I had hoped to repay some money he lent

me
TWANKEY:
(grabbing the money-bag) Now you come to mention it, you do

look familiar!
ABANAZAR:
(grabbing TWANKEY) Widow Twankey, have you loved

many men in your life?
TWANKEY:
Oh no, just the one.
ABANAZAR:
Just the one?
TWANKEY:
No, I tell a lie forty seven, I'd forgotten that pajama party in
Puyallup!
They go to kiss as they do, JASMINE enters from
TUMBLE DRIER, ALADDIN enters from BASKET
39
ALADDIN:
Hiya gang! (Audience react secret signal)

MUSIC CUE: Cow Bell
JASMINE:
Aladdin!
ALADDIN:
Jasmine!
PONGO enters from WASHING MACINE
JASMINE/
ALADDIN:
Pongo!
TWANKEY:
Its alright remember, hes in the gang!

PONGO does the SECRET SIGN and the ALADDIN,
JASMIME and TWANKEY do it in return
MUSIC CUE: Cow Bell
ALADDIN:
Pongos in the gang!

They all cheer
TWANKEY:
Aladdin, this is your long-lost uncle!
ALADDIN:
I didnt know I had an Uncle Avabanana!
ABANAZAR:
Dont call me that name!
TWANKEY:
No, son; this is your Uncle Ebeneezer!
ABANAZAR:
Abanazar!
ALADDIN/
TWANKEY/
PONGO/
JASMINE:
} Bless you!
TWANKEY:
This is PC Pongo, this is Aladdin and this is

ABANAZAR pushes PONGO and JASMINE out of the way.
He puts his arm around ALADDIN and brings him CS. The
others gather around
ABANAZAR:
Ah, Aladdin, my dear nephew, I have travelled far in search of

you; I am here to make you rich.
ALADDIN:
Rich? That's wonderful! What do I have to do?
ABANAZAR:
High in the mountains above Peking there is a cave full of golden

40
jewels and precious stones a secret cave known only to me - I

will take you there and you will achieve great wealth. What do
you say, Aladdin? Are you up for the challenge?
ALADDIN:
(to Jasmine) Ill do it for you, Jasmine! (to Abanazar) Most

definitely, sir.
MUSIC CUE: Dramatic underscore
LX CUE: Darkens to a mysterious state
ABANAZAR:
Then an hour before daybreak, leave the city by the Great Gate,
take the treacherous path to the peak of Hell Mountain and I shall
meet you on the edge of the yawning chasm known as THE
VALLEY OF DEATH!
Music stops
PONGO:
Is that the one opposite McDonalds?
ABANAZAR:
Thats the one.

LX CUE: restore
ALADDIN:
I'll be there, Uncle Abercrombie!
ABANAZAR:
Abanazar!
TWANKEY:
ALADDIN:
PONGO:
JASMINE
} Bless you!
ABANAZAR:
TWANKEY:
ALADDIN:
PONGO:
JASMINE:
Until tomorrow (hammy) Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I

shall say good night till it be morrow.
}
} Get off!
}
}
MUSIC CUE: Abanazar exit motif
ABANAZAR exits through door
JASMINE:
Im not sure about him.
PONGO:
Me neither, for another ten bucks a week, we could have had Bob
Barnett!
ALADDIN:
Isnt it wonderful? This could be my one chance of proving to

your father that Im worthy of you.
41
JASMINE:
You are worthy of me, Aladdin.
ALADDIN:
Oh, Princess.
JASMINE:
Oh, Aladdin.
TWANKEY/
PONGO:
Oh, lordy!
TWANKEY:
Come on, Aladdin, youve got to go to the peak of Hell

Mountain. By the way, how far is it?
ALADDIN:
TWANKEY:
ALADDIN:
JASMINE:
ALADDIN:
About 500 miles.

500 miles? How are you going to travel 500 miles?
Im going to walk.
Youre going to walk 500 miles?
Im going to walk 500 miles!
PONGO:
Can you see where this is leading, boys and girls?

MUSIC CUE: 500 miles TWANKEY, ALADDIN, PONGO,
JASMINE and ENSEMBLE
TWANKEY:
(over intro) Well, Ive got about 500 sheets to iron here.
JASMINE:
Well dont worry about that Widow Twankey, well help you,
wont we, boys?
PONGO/
ALADDIN:
YES!
ALADDIN:
(he sings) WHEN YOURE IRONING, WELL YOU KNOW I'M

GONNA BE
I'M GONNA BE YOUR SON WHOS IRONING NEXT TO YOU
PONGO:
(at the MANGLE) WHEN YOURE MANGLING, YEAH YOU

KNOW I'M GONNA BE
I'M GONNA BE THE ONE WHOS MANGLING NEXT TO YOU
JASMINE:
AND IF YOURE FOLDING, HEY, YOU KNOW I'M GONNA

BE
I'M GONNA BE THE ONE WHO'S FOLDING NEXT TO YOU
TWANKEY:
IF IM SCRUBBING, WELL YOU KNOW I'M GONNA BE

I'M GONNA BE THE SCRUBBER SCRUBBING NEXT TO YOU
ALADDIN:
TWANKEY:
ALL:
BUT I WILL WALK 500 MILES

AND I WILL WASH 500 PANTS
WANNA BE THE ONE WHO IRONS A THOUSAND SHIRTS
AND SOCKS AND VESTS AND PANTS
42
ENSEMBLE enter from both sides with IRONING BOARDS

and IRONS
JUVES enter with BUCKETS and SCRUBBING BRUSHES
ALL:
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
PONGO:
Hey Widow Twankey, weve got all the happy, smiling villagers
who sing and dance for no apparent reason to help us... come on
guys!
TWANKEY:
AND IF IM CLEANING, WELL I KNOW I'M GONNA BE

I'M GONNA BE THE MUM WHO'S CLEANING PANTS FOR
YOU
ALADDIN:
WHEN I COME HOME
TWANKEY/
PONGO/JASMINE:(WHEN YOU COME HOME),
ALADDIN:
WELL I KNOW I'M GONNA BE

I'M GONNA BE THE SON WHO COMES BACK HOME TO
YOU
I'M GONNA BE THE SON WHOS COMING HOME TO YOU
ALADDIN:
TWANKEY:

TWANKEY/
PONGO/
ALADDIN/JASMINE: WANNA BE THE ONE WHO IRONS A THOUSAND SHIRTS
AND SOCKS AND VESTS AND PANTS
During the instrumental break, PONGO brings on a
MICROPHONE and does BEAT BOX
SFX CUE: Beat Box
JASMINE brings on the end of the MICROPHONE LEAD
which obviously isnt plugged in. PONGO stops the
beatboxing but the sound continues
The ENSEMBLE do a STOMP-STYLE tap dance which
develops using the METAL BUCKETS
ALL:
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
43
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)
ALADDIN:
TWANKEY:
ALL:

WANNA BE THE ONE WHO IRONS A THOUSAND SHIRTS
AND SOCKS AND VESTS AND BRAS AND PANTS
LX CUE: Fade to black
FLY CUE: Mysterious Mountain front cloth in
SCENE FOUR IN THE MIDST OF THE MYSTERIOUS MOUNTAINS

MUSIC CUE: Abanazars evil motif
SFX: Howling wind
ABANAZAR is found on CS.
ABANAZAR:
Hahahahahah! Blow wind, blow and crack thy cheeks! King

Lear, Act III, Scene II not just a pantomime but also an
education! Here we are on Hell Mountain and all I have to do is
find the Cave of Jewels; once Ive found that, the lamp will be
mine.
SPIRIT OF THE RING enters DSR
Ah, there you are, Spirit... where have you been?
SPIRIT:
Ive just handed in my notice at the Helium factory.
ABANAZAR:
Youve handed in your notice at the Helium factory?
SPIRIT:
Yeah... Im not having them talk to me like that!
ABANAZAR:
Stop doing these ridiculous jokes! Now where is this Cave of

Jewels?
SPIRIT:
Its just behind that rock.

There is a LARGE BOULDER (centre of the cloth)
ABANAZAR:
Boulder!
44
SPIRIT:
(Boldly) ITS JUST BEHIND THAT ROCK!
ABANAZAR:
(approaching the boulder) Ah, so close and yet so far! Do I

really need the boy to get the lamp for me?
SPIRIT:
Yes, and remember that once the cave is open, he only has thirty
seconds to retrieve it! Once the time is up, the cave will be
sealed forever!
ABANAZAR:
Thirty seconds... right! Ah, here comes Aladdin now. He seems

to have run all the way up the mountain
ALADDIN enters SR. He is jogging and out of breath
Is this a jogger I see before me?
ALADDIN:
Phew, that was quite a climb (spotting the SPIRIT) Just a

minute, where did you come from?
SPIRIT:
Just behind that rock.
ABANAZAR:
Boulder!
SPIRIT:
(Boldly) JUST BEHIND THAT ROCK! (to the audience) It

gets funnier the more times you say it!
ABANAZAR:
You may leave us now, Spirit.
ALADDIN:
A Spirit?
ABANAZAR:
SPIRIT:
ABANAZAR:
SPIRIT:
ABANAZAR:
SPIRIT:
ABANAZAR:
SPIRIT:
ABANAZAR:
A term of affection, Aladdin, thats all. Go on, get off!

Mm?
GET OFF!
Alright... easy, tiger.
Do not call me tiger, call me sir.
Pardon?
Call me sir.
Eh?
CALL ME SIR, IDIOT!
SPIRIT:
Alright, Sir Idiot!

SPIRIT exits DSR
ALADDIN:
(looking around) Is this it, Uncle? I cant see any treasure.
ABANAZAR:
This boulder conceals the entrance to a cave full of jewels, my

boy, jewels to make you rich beyond your wildest dreams!
ALADDIN:
That sounds brilliant Just a minute, whats in it for you?

45
ABANAZAR:
There is something rather special inside this cave, which you

alone can get for me something very close to my heart!
ALADDIN:
Your pancreas?
ABANAZAR:
No! (nonchalantly) No... its a lamp... just an old lamp; get it for
me and all the jewels shall be yours.
ALADDIN:
How can I be sure you won't trick me? I need a sign of your
good faith.
ABANAZAR:
What do you mean?
ALADDIN:
Well I quite like that ring you're wearing.
ABANAZAR:
You don't want this, you silly boy - it's just tacky theatrical
diamante.
ALADDIN:
But it would make a wonderful present for Princess Jasmine... so,

either you give me that ring, or the lamp stays where it is!
ABANAZAR:
(Aside) I cant bear to part with the ring but I must have that
lamp! (hammy) Tis the cause, tis the cause, my soul... (to
Aladdin) Oh very well, take it.
He hands Aladdin the ring
ALADDIN:
Thanks, Uncle.
ABANAZAR:
Now boy, move that rock.
ALADDIN:
Boulder!
ABANAZAR:
(boldly) MOVE THAT ROCK!... Bah, shes got me doing it

now!
ALADDIN:
Right... (he tries to move the rock) It's no use, Uncle - I can't
shift it.
ABANAZAR:
Stand back boy
ALADDIN:
What are you doing, Uncle?
ABANAZAR:
There's no use being a wizard if you don't have the occasional

wiz! Abracadabra - Abracadee! The magic words are Open
Sesame!
LX CUE: Lightening Flicker
SFX CUE: Thunder and boulder moving
SMOKE CUE: Smoke from behind the cloth
46
The BOULDER moves

LXCUE: Mysterious light from behind cloth
ALADDIN:
Thats very impressive, Uncle, but it looks pretty scary in there...
ABANAZAR:
Nonsense, dear boy, tis but a cave! You will be perfectly safe as
long as you are quick, very quick. in fact, in and out within
thirty seconds. Look, tie this rope around you and I will hold the
other end.
ALADDIN ties ROPE around himself and goes into the cave.
ABANAZAR ties the other end around himself
ALADDIN:
Wish me luck... Right... I'm in!

MUSIC CUE: Swannee Whistle going in the cave
ABANAZAR:
He's in! He's in!

ALADDIN jumps out again
MUSIC CUE: Swannee Whistle
ALADDIN:
I'm out! I'm out!
ABANAZAR:
Get in the cave!

ALADDIN exits
ALADDIN:
I'm in again!
ABANAZAR:
He's in again!
ALADDIN comes out again
ALADDIN:
I'm out again!
ABANAZAR:
He's out again!
ALADDIN:
I'm not sure I can trust you, Uncle (To the audience) Shall I
trust him? (audience react) Shall I go into the cave? (audience
react)
ABANAZAR:
(To the audience) Silence! Remember, Aladdin - the jewels

within this cave will make you rich! Rich enough to marry the
Princess Jasmine...
47
ALADDIN:
Youre right... I'll do it for her!

ALADDIN disappears into the cave
LX CUE: Reduce to just Abanazar
MUSIC CUE: Abanazar underscoring
ABANAZAR:
Hahahahaha! Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent

under 't! At last! At last...Aladdins in the cave, which, once he's
found the lamp, will also be his grave!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
MUSIC CUE: Evil motif into held note for Aladdin entrance
FLY CUE: Mysterious Mountain cloth out
LX CUE: Fade to black
SCENE FIVE INSIDE THE CAVE

ALADDIN is seen dropping in the last few feet on a ROPE...
LX CUE: Dark Cave state. A shaft of light highlights
Aladdin as he descends
SFX CUE: Cave ambience (dripping water etc...)
ALADDIN:
Uncle?... Uncle!... I cant see a thing... dont let go of that rope

will you, uncle?
ABANAZAR (off): The lamp, boy! Can you see the lamp?
ALADDIN:
It's no use, Uncle - there's nothing here. No jewels, no lamp, no

nothing
ABANAZAR(off): You only have thirty seconds... FIND ME THE LAMP!

ALADDIN:
(To the audience) Boys and girls, should I get him the lamp?
(audience react) Should I? They say not to Uncle, Im
coming out...
ABANAZAR (off): You stupid boy, theres no time for that...

SFX: Thunder and the sound of a large moving boulder
LX CUE: Flicker
No!... the rock is sealing the cave... No, no, I need the lamp... the
lamp! You stupid boy you will be locked in there forever!!!
SFX: There is a long echo on forever
48
LX CUE: The light in the cave is reduced

ALADDIN:
Uncle, let me out!... I cant be locked in here... Uncle?

UNCLE?! Its no good, hes gone. Now Im trapped and Ill
never see Princess Jasmine again. If only there was a ray of light
so I could see what I was doing.
MUSIC CUE: Ting
LX CUE: A shaft of light hits the LAMP
ALADDIN:
Thats convenient!... (he sees the lamp) Hey, that must be the
lamp that Abanazar was talking about. It doesnt look that
special to me... (he picks it up) Its very rusty; it looks like it
needs a good clean. What should I do with it, guys? (audience
react) What should I do? (audience react) Rub it? Well, Ill
give it a go.
He rubs the lamp.
PYRO CUE: DSR
MUSIC CUE: Mr Gee play on (You sexy thing)
The GENIE OF THE LAMP appears SR. He has a BIG
personality! He is dressed in 1970s outfit (Afro, shades,
flares, large collar, medallion and a GOLDEN SUIT)
GENIE:
Heyyyyyyyyyyyy! Wow, Im saying... wow, it is cramped in

that thing (He indicates the lamp) It aint no tardis, you know
what Im saying, dude?
ALADDIN:
Who are you?
GENIE:
Some people call me the Genie of the Lamp but my friends call
me Mr Gee!
ALADDIN:
Does that stand for Genie?
GENIE:
No, it stands for Gorgeous! (he licks his finger and touches
his butt he is hot!) Tssssttttttt! I think the ladies know what
Im saying Let me hear the ladies scream (ladies scream) I
said, let me hear the ladies scream (ladies scream louder).
ALADDIN:
Youre really a Genie?
GENIE:
Right on dude! Youve just released the coolest Genie in the

world! Ive been stuck in that thing since the most fashionable
decade in history... the Seventies!
49
ALADDIN:
The Seventies?
GENIE:
Yes, Im the Genie of the Lava Lamp! Let me tell you, there
aint no room to dance in there And ladies, Mr Gee loves to
dance!... Lets boogie on down!
MUSIC CUE: Disco beat
The band plays 8 bars of disco music and the GENIE shows
us his moves. He ends on an impressive disco pose.
ALADDIN:
Thats all very impressive but what do you do exactly?
GENIE:
What? Apart from having the coolest fro in the world?
ALADDIN:
Yes, apart from having the coolest fro in the world.
GENIE:
Well I serve whoever owns the lamp - in this case, dude, its
you!
ALADDIN:
You serve me?
GENIE:
Yeah, and by the look of it, you also got the Spirit of the Ring.
ALADDIN:
The Spirit of the Ring?
GENIE:
Yeah, that ring youre wearing has the Spirit in it. I havent seen
her in a thousand years.
ALADDIN:
But how do I get her out?
GENIE:
Same way you got me, my friend (he indicates for the audience
to tell ALADDIN what to do) What should he do?
AUDIENCE shout
ALADDIN:
What?... Oh
He rubs the ring
PYRO CUE:
SPIRIT OF THE RING enters DSL
SPIRIT:
Your wish is my command O Master Mister Gee! Wassup

dude?
GENIE:
Bam! What it is! What it is! You scrub up pretty good baby.
SPIRIT:
Youre looking pretty fine yourself, Mr. Gee!
50
ALADDIN:
Ahem
SPIRIT:
Oh, sorry You have three wishes, Aladdin... use them wisely.
ALADDIN:
Three wishes?...Well... erm... What would you wish for?
SPIRIT:
I think wed probably ask for our freedom; but lets be honest...
whod waste one of their wishes on a couple of Genies?
ALADDIN:
Well, if you two help me, I promise Ill help you. Right, first
wish... Can you get me out of this cave and take me back to Old
Peking?
GENIE:
Youre in luck, my friend As well as being the most handsome

man in the universe (he licks his finger and touches his
backside he is hotter!) Sssssst! Owww.(to Aladdin) Mr
Gee is the most powerful spirit of all. Peking is not a problem,
dude.
ALADDIN:
Oh, thats wonderful. And theres another thing... you see... (He
gabbles at speed) Im in love with a Princess and I think she
loves me too but her father, the Emperor, doesnt like me because
Im just a poor laundry boy so it would really help if I could have
a little bit of money...
GENIE:
Woah... woah... woah... could you cut to the chase, dude, the fro
is starting to wilt.
ALADDIN:
Can you make me rich?
SPIRIT:
You dont have to waste a wish on that, Aladdin. The jewels of

this cave already belong to you.
ALADDIN:
Jewels? I can't see any jewels.
SPIRIT:
Confined within this cavern is a wealth of precious jewels.

MUSIC CUE: Price Tag GENIE, SPIRIT, ALADDIN,
ENSEMBLE
The ENSEMBLE enter carrying JEWELLED BOXES, they
parade around ALADDIN
ALADDIN:
(over intro) You mean Im rich?
GENIE:
Beyond your wildest dreams, my friend. But remember Aladdin,

its not all about material possessions; Princess Jasmine loves
you for who you are, not what you are its whats on the inside
that counts lets get down
GENIE:
SEEMS LIKE EVERYBODY'S GOT A PRICE

51
I WONDER HOW THEY SLEEP AT NIGHT

WHEN THE SALE COMES FIRST AND THE TRUTH COMES
SECOND
JUST STOP FOR A MINUTE AND SMILE
SPIRIT:
WHY IS EVERYBODY SO SERIOUS?

ACTING ALL SO MYSTERIOUS
CAN WE ALL SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY RIGHT NOW
GUARANTEE WE'LL BE FEELIN' ALRIGHT
GENIE:
SPIRIT:
BOTH:
ALADDIN:
BOTH:
EVERYBODY LOOK TO THEIR LEFT

EVERYBODY LOOK TO THEIR RIGHT
CAN YOU FEEL THAT?
YEAH
WE'LL PAY THEM WITH LOVE TONIGHT
ALL:
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

WE DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
WE JUST WANNA MAKE THE WORLD DANCE
FORGET ABOUT THE PRICE TAG
AIN'T ABOUT THE CHA-CHING, CHA-CHING
AIN'T ABOUT THE BA-BLING, BA-BLING
WANNA MAKE THE WORLD DANCE
LX CUE: Down to a spot on GENIE
(As the focus is on the GENIE, ALADDIN exits)
GENIE:
(RAPS) YEAH, YEAH, WELL, KEEP THE PRICE TAG

AND TAKE THE CASH BACK
HEAR THE LADIES SCREAM
AT MY SIX PACK
(TAKE A) MAGIC CARPET RIDE
WHERE IM YOUR GUIDE
GROW A GREAT BIG FRO
SO YOU CAN BE MY BRO
(AND GUESS WHAT), IN 30 SECONDS WERE GO TO
PEKING
YOULL SEE THE PRINCESS, AND SHOW HER YOUR BLING
ILL ESCAPE THE LAMP, (indicating the Spirit) SHELL
ESCAPE THE RING
SO BRING BACK THE BEAT AND THEN EVERYBODY
SING
LX CUE: restore
ALL:

52

GENIE:
(spoken) All this wealth cannot buy you happiness but if you
think it will help you on your path, there is an old seventies
expression You aint seen nuthin yet! Behold
As the MUSIC BUILDS, the ENSEMBLE turn the
PERIACTOIDS and the set transforms into THE
JEWLELLED GARDEN
SCENE SIX - THE JEWELLED GARDEN

GENIE:
(spoken) And now Aladdin, this is the moment. It is time to turn

your rags into riches...
DRUM ROLL
ALADDIN appears upstage in Jewelled Costume. He comes
DS. Everyone cheers
ALADDIN:
Is all this really mine?
SPIRIT:
Its all yours, Aladdin but remember one very important thing
ALL:

END OF ACT ONE
53
ACT TWO
PRE ENTRACTE-KIDS ONSTAGE
ALADDIN steps forward as cloth flies in behind. Kids in

audience have had a lottery when they enter. Numbers are
drawn and six kids come up onstage.
ALADDIN:
Hiya, gang! (audience react secret signal) Well, what about

that for a story, eh? Im going to marry the Princess and Moms
going to marry the Emperor. Now then, we do have some people
to say hello to, and to help me do that please give a great big
cheer and a great big round of applause to the one and only PC
Pongo!
PONGO enters DSL
PONGO and ALADDIN do secret signal. They then read out
Parties and Birthdays
MUSIC CUE: Happy Birthday
PONGO:
Now, do you fancy a sing song? (audience react) I said, do you

fancy a sing-song?
(audience react)
Go on then!... Oh you dont know the words yet do you. Well,
heres a song that you can all join in with. Take it away Uncle
David...
MUSIC CUE: Old McDonalds Farm ALADDIN and
PONGO
ALADDIN and PONGO sing song and gets audience join in.
FOUR CHILDREN come up on stage. ALADDIN and
PONGO chat to them. They sing through the song getting
the children to do the animal noises
SPIRIT brings on GOODY BAGS and the children leave the
stage
ALADDIN and PONGO sings one more time with the
audience and exit DSL and DSR
54
ENTRACTE:
MUSIC CUE: Entracte ending with Genie and Spirits play
on
PYRO CUE: DSL and DSR
Enter GENIE OF THE LAMP DSR and the SPIRIT OF
THE RING DSL
SPIRIT:
OK just a minute just a minute its usual when Genies

appear, that all the kids AND moms and dads should give us a
great big cheer!
(The audience react)
What do you think, Mr Gee?
GENIE:
I think there were a couple of ladies not screaming - and Mr Gee

loves it when the ladies scream (if a lady screams) Wait for it!
SPIRIT:
Shall we do it again?
GENIE:
I think we should (to MD) One more time with feeling

MUSIC CUE: Gene Genie
They exit DSL and DSR and come back on again to huge
cheers
GENIE:
Thank you, thank you! Youre so sincere and so spontaneous!
SPIRIT:
Now, Aladdin has released us from the Lamp and Ring

to announce his arrival back in Old Peking.
GENIE:
Yeah... This guy is rich now, Im talking seriously loaded.
SPIRIT
Lets start the procession, a joyous rally,

As we welcome the one and only Prince Ali!
MUSIC CUE: Prince Ali GENIE, SPIRIT, ENSEMBLE
and JUVES,
GENIE:
(over intro) Is this the bit where we sing?
SPIRIT:
This is the bit where we sing
GENIE
Ive been looking forward to this Ladies and Gentlemen

boys and girls.
55
SCENE SEVEN THE MARKET PLACE IN OLD PEKING

ENSEMBLE, JUVES enter with BANNERS, PARASOLS
and RIBBONS. They dance in a long, never ending
procession. As soon as they leave the stage they go back to the
other side and start again
ALL:
SPIRIT:
GENIE:
SPIRIT:
GENIE:
SPIRIT:
BOTH:
GENIE:
SPIRIT:
MAKE WAY FOR PRINCE ALI

SAY HEY! IT'S PRINCE ALI
HEY! CLEAR THE WAY IN THE OLD BAZAAR
HEY YOU! LET US THROUGH!
IT'S A BRIGHT NEW STAR!
OH COME!
BE THE FIRST ON YOUR BLOCK TO MEET HIS EYE!
MAKE WAY!
HERE HE COMES!
RING BELLS! BANG THE DRUMS!
ARE YOU GONNA LOVE THIS GUY!
PRINCE ALI! FABULOUS HE!
ALI ABABWA
GENUFLECT, SHOW SOME RESPECT
DOWN ON ONE KNEE!
NOW, TRY YOUR BEST TO STAY CALM
BRUSH UP YOUR SUNDAY SALAAM
THEN COME AND MEET HIS SPECTACULAR COTERIE
GENIE:
PRINCE ALI! MIGHTY IS HE! ALI ABABWA

STRONG AS TEN REGULAR MEN, DEFINITELY!
SPIRIT:
HE FACED THE GALLOPING HORDES

A HUNDRED BAD GUYS WITH SWORDS
WHO SENT THOSE GOONS TO THEIR LORDS?
WHY, PRINCE ALI
ALL
Drum break with Chinese cymbols

GENIE:
SPIRIT:
GENIE:
SPIRIT:
PRINCE ALI! HANDSOME IS HE, ALI ABABWA

THAT PHYSIQUE! HOW CAN I SPEAK
WEAK AT THE KNEE
WELL, GET ON OUT IN THAT SQUARE
ADJUST YOUR VEIL AND PREPARE
TO GAWK AND GROVEL AND STARE AT PRINCE ALI!
TWO GENIES exit USL and USR
Music vamps
TWANKEY enters DSL, PONGO enters DSR
56
TWANKEY:
Here, Pongo... whats going on?
PONGO:
You wont believe this, Widow Twankey- Aladdins back and

he's rolling in it!
TWANKEY:
Rolling in it? Urrgggh!!
PONGO:
No! He's rolling in money! He just told me all about it.
TWANKEY:
What happened exactly?
PONGO:
You want to know what happened exactly?
TWANKEY:
Yes, I want to know what happened exactly.
PONGO:
Well...
ENSEMBLE freeze
MUSIC CUE: Vamp stops
LX CUE: Freeze
(PONGO talks very quickly without pausing for breath)
He met his Uncle Aberystwyth at the peak of Hell Mountain and
he made him get into the cave he said Im in Im in, he said Im
out Im out, he said Im in Im in, he said Im out Im out, Uncle
Avabanana made him go in the cave and locked him in there and
it was pitch black and he couldnt see a thing apart from a rusty
old lamp but he didnt know what to do with it but the audience
who were very clever or had just seen this before said rub it he
said what they said rub it he said what they said rub so he did and
puff out popped a Genie called Mr Gee who makes all the ladies
scream at him like this arggggggg! Mr Gee and The Spirit of
the Ring said youre going to be rich and then they burst into
song which they seem to do a lot lately, the curtain came in and
everybody bought some ice cream apart from the dads who went
to the bar to get drunk and they all said isnt Widow Twankey
wonderful and isnt the young lad playing Pongo extremely
talented, hes from St Albans apparently, is he really? Yes he is.
Then everyone came back to their seats, the curtain went up, they
sang another song, well theres a surprise, then you entered
downstage left, asked me what had happened exactly, I said what
happened exactly? You said yes, what happened exactly, and I
started talking like this!
Applause
TWANKEY:
Pardon? I dont believe Aladdins rich.
PONGO:
Well, hell prove it himself, here he comes now...

57
MUSIC CUE: Drum roll into Reprise

ALL:
PONGO:
ALL:
PRINCE ALI!
AMOROUS HE! ALI ABABWA
(HE) KNOWS THE PRINCESS IS A SIGHT LOVELY TO SEE
AND THAT, GOOD PEOPLE, IS WHY
HE GOT DOLLED UP AND DROPPED BY
WITH SIXTY ELEPHANTS, CAMELS GALORE
WITH HIS BEARS AND LIONS
A BRASS BAND AND MORE
WITH HIS FORTY FAKIRS, HIS COOKS, HIS BAKERS
HIS BIRDS THAT WARBLE ON KEY
ALADDIN enters, being pulled in a RICKSHAW
MAKE WAY FOR PRINCE ALI!
ALADDIN:
Hiya Gang! (audience react PONGO, TWANKEY,

ENSEMBLE and AUDIENCE all give the secret signal)
Thank you... you can have the rest of the afternoon off on full
pay!
ENSEMBLE exit in all directions, cheering
Hi, Mom!
TWANKEY:
Oh, son... youre all blinged up! Hey, you havent been ramraiding in Bellevue, have you?
ALADDIN:
No mom, weve made our fortune. Were rich... look at this ring
that Abanazar gave me.
He passes the ring to PONGO
PONGO:
Hey, we can take this to Cash for Gold! No, wait its got an
inscription on it...
TWANKEY:
What does it say?
PONGO:
(slowly turning the ring and reading the inside of it) Love will
conquer all...
TWANKEY:
Thats nice
PONGO:
(continuing to read) Love is the answer...
TWANKEY:
well you cant argue with that
PONGO:
(still continuing to read) Happiness is true love the greatest

gift is to love and be loved in return, no matter where you are or
58
what you are doing, if you have love in your heart you will find
happiness and that happiness will never desert you as long as you
have true love... I believe that children are the future, treat them
well and let them lead the way...
TWANKEY:
Is that it?
PONGO:
No, theres one more bit... Made in Everett!
TWANKEY:
Thats very nice, but its just tacky theatrical diamante.
ALADDIN:
No, it isnt, mum. Its got a Spirit inside
TWANKEY/
PONGO:
A Spirit?
ALADDIN:
Yes, and this has got a Genie

He produces the lamp
TWANKEY/
PONGO:
A Genie?
TWANKEY:
Thats just a dusty old lamp?
ALADDIN:
Its more than that, mum (to the audience) What do I have to do
with it, gang? (audience react) Rub it?... Right watch this.
ALADDIN rubs the lamp
PYRO CUE: DSR
MUSIC CUE: Sexy Genie of the Lamp play on
The GENIE enters DSR, strikes a pose and waits for the
screams
GENIE:
You summoned me, oh master?

WIDOW TWANKEY and PONGO throw themselves to the
ground and bow three times
TWANKEY:
Salaam! Salaam!! Salaam!!!
GENIE:
Close the shades dude, theres no need for Salaam!
TWANKEY/
PONGO:
False Alarm! False Alarm! False Alarm!
PONGO:
Thats my favourite one in the whole show!
ALADDIN:
Mum, PC Pongo this is Mr Gee.
59
TWANKEY:
Wow... he is gorgeous!
GENIE:
Hold on a minute, here.

He clicks his fingers. TWANKEY AND PONGO freeze
MUSIC CUE: Ting
LX CUE: Freeze special
GENIE:
Boss? (he pulls Aladdin to one side) Is that your mama?
ALADDIN:
Yes...
GENIE:
Well Im sorry to tell you your mama is ugly.
ALADDIN:
Sorry?
GENIE:
Shes ugly...
ALADDIN:
Ugly?
GENIE:
Your mama is ugly, she is ugly with a capital Ug!
ALADDIN:
Dont call her ugly.
GENIE:
Why doesnt she know?
ALADDIN:
Say youre sorry.
GENIE:
Im sorry your mama is ugly! Actually she is not the ugliest

person in the world.
ALADDIN:
Thank you
GENIE:
But she dont half look like her!
ALADDIN:
Look Id appreciate it if you could make my mum feel good

about herself.
GENIE:
OK... trust me, Ill give her a little of the old Mr Gee Charm.
He clicks his fingers and everyone unfreezes. Slow, sexy
music starts and the lights dim to a romantic state. He walks
over to TWANKEY in a slow, sexy fashion
MUSIC CUE: Sexy 70s style music
LX CUE: Romantic state
GENIE :
Widow T... You are one sexy mama...
TWANKEY:
You cant mean me... surely Im too fat.

60
GENIE:
Youre not too fat.
TWANKEY:
Surely Im too old.
GENIE:
Youre not too old.
TWANKEY:
Surely Im too ugly.
GENIE:
Youre not too old!

LX CUE: Restore
ALADDIN:
Mum, Pongo, as relations of the richest man in Peking, I think

you need more suitable clothing. Mister Gee, shower my mum
and the people of Peking with gifts and give them whatever they
desire!
GENIE:
Master, I obey! Widow Twankey walk this way.

MUSIC CUE: Sexy muisc
GENIE exits DSR in a sexy manner
TWANKEY:
If I walked that way I wouldnt need the Vaseline!

TWANKEY exits DSR in an over the top sexy manner
MUSIC CUE: Sexy music
ALADDIN:
You know, Pongo, thanks to this lamp Ive got almost everything
Ive ever wanted ... All I need now is the girl of my dreams. The
problem is that the Emperor wont let me anywhere near her
PONGO:
I know, why dont you invite Princess Jasmine and The Emperor
to your Palace but dont tell them its actually yours.
ALADDIN:
Good idea, Pongo; well tell them theyve been invited by the
mysterious Prince Ali. Now to impress the Emperor, I think we
need to lay a new road to the palace
PONGO:
Good idea, Aladdin

2 MALE ENSEMBLE bring on SLOSH SHEET and lay it on
the floor
(to the audience) Can you guess whats coming up? Boys and
girls, The Unnamed Villagers are not laying a new road, are
they? Theyre laying a tarpaulin especially designed for horrible
and messy and gooey theatrical scenes! (he points the audience
at the back of the auditorium) Back ten rows Safe! (he
61
points the audience in the front row) Front ten rows Not
safe!!!
ALADDIN:
Thanks guys (Ensemble exit) Pongo, go and get yourself some

gifts from the Genies.
PONGO:
Oh, thank you very much, Aladdin!

PONGO gives ALADDIN the secret signal and exits DSR
ALADDIN:
See you later, Pongo. The Genies are great; they keep giving
everyone all these wonderful presents but the problem is they
occasionally make a mistake...
FLY CUE: Palace Cloth In
SCENE EIGHT OUTSIDE ALADDINS PALACE

LX CUE: Bright
MUSIC CUE: The Twelve Days of Christmas ALADDIN,
ENSEMBLE 1 and PONGO
From the DSR wings, ALADDIN brings on a BRA THAT
WAS MADE TO HOLD THREE. He stands DSR
ALADDIN:
On the first day of Christmas, the Genie gave to me

A bra that was made to hold three...
PONGO enters DSR with TWO FOOTBALL SHIRTS. He
stands next to PONGO, DSR
PONGO:
ALADDIN:
On the second day of Christmas, the Genie gave to me

Two Football shirts...
And a bra that was made to hold three...
ENSEMBLE 1 enters DSR with THREE JUGGLING
BALLS. She stands next to PONGO, DSR
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALADDIN:
On the third day of Christmas, the Genie gave to me

Three Juggling Balls...
Two Football Shirts...
ALADDIN runs to the DSL wings for FOUR POTS and
PANS. He returns to DSR
ALADDIN:
On the fourth day of Christmas, the Genie gave to me

Four Pots and Pans...
62
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALADDIN:

PONGO runs to the DSL wings and gets a TROLLEY FULL
OF THIRTY FIVE CUSTARD PIES. He returns to CS
PONGO:
On the fifth day of Christmas, the Genie gave to me

Five custard pies!
Counting as they do it, ENSEMBLE 1 and PONGO push
FIVE CUSTARD PIES into PONGOS face
ALADDIN:
(to the audience) From now on gang, whenever we get to five

custard pies and the bra that was made to hold three we want
you to join in will you do that?
Audience react
I said, will you do that? Here we go...
ALL:
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALL:
Five custard pies!

ENSEMBLE 1 goes to DSL wings for SIX PAIRS OF PANTS
ENSEMBLE 1:
ALL:
On the sixth day of Christmas, the Genie gave to me

Six Pairs of Pants...
Five custard pies!
Counting as they do it, ENSEMBLE 1 and ALADDIN push
FIVE CUSTARD PIES in PONGOS face
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALL:

ALADDIN goes to DSL wings for SEVEN SMELLY SOCKS
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
ALL:
On the seventh day of Christmas, the Genie gave to me

Seven Smelly Socks...
Five custard pies!
Counting as they do it, ENSEMBLE 1 and ALADDIN push
FIVE CUSTARD PIES in PONGOS face
63
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALL:

PONGO goes to DSL wings for EIGHT TOILET ROLLS
PONGO:
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
ALL:
On the eighth day of Christmas, the Genie gave to me

Eight Toilet Rolls...
Five custard pies!
ENSEMBLE 1 and ALADDIN push FIVE CUSTARD PIES
in PONGOS face
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALL:

ENSEMBLE 1 goes to wings to get NINE TATTY FROCKS
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
ALL:
On the ninth day of Christmas, the Genie gave to me

Nine Tatty Frocks...
Five custard pies!
in PONGOS face
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALL:

They forget whos turn it is. MUSIC vamps
ALADDIN:
Its you!
PONGO:
No, its not its you!
ALADDIN:
What? Oh sorry...
ALADDIN goes to DSL wings for TEN CUDDLY TOYS
ENSEMBLE 1:
On the tenth day of Christmas, the Genie gave to me

Ten Cuddly Toys...
64
PONGO:
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
ALL:

Five custard pies!
in PONGOS face
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALL:

PONGO goes to DSL wings for ELEVEN RUBBER
CHICKENS
PONGO:
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
ALL:
On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Genie gave to me

Eleven Rubber Chickens...
Ten Cuddly Toys...
Five custard pies!
in PONGOS face
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALL:

They are all exhausted. PONGO stops the music.
ALADDIN:
Are you alright there, Pongo?
PONGO:
(he is covered in CUSTARD PIE FOAM) You can go off some

people, cant you? (to the audience) We have to do this three
times on a Saturday....
ENSEMBLE 1:
(sings) On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Genie gave to

YOUTwelve Gallons of Water.
ENSEMBLE 1 is passed a LARGE WATER PISTOL. She
passes two more LARGE WATER PISTOLS to ALADDIN
and PONGO. They go into the audience with them and get
the audience.
They come back to the stage.
65
ENSEMBLE 1:
Lets sing it one last time but this time Double time.
PONGO/
ALADDIN:
Double time?
ENSEMBLE 1:
Double time!
They pick up their props as they go
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
ALL:
Twelve Gallons of Water

Eleven Rubber Chickens...
Ten Cuddly Toys...
Five custard pies!
ENSEMBLE 1 and PONGO push FIVE CUSTARD PIES in
PONGOS face
ALADDIN:
ENSEMBLE 1:
PONGO:
ALL:

And a bra that was made to hold three..
They exit SR with the props, waving as they go
LX CUE: Reduce to Blackout
FLY CUE: Street cloth out to reveal
SCENE NINE - THE GARDEN OF ALADDIN'S PALACE

LX CUE: Warm, rich state
The MAGIC LAMP stands on a plinth USR
The EMPEROR and PRINCESS JASMINE are found on
EMPEROR:
Look at this: wealth beyond a mans wildest dreams. One things

for sure, Jasmine, whoever this mysterious Prince Ali is, you
shall have to marry him.
JASMINE:
Ive told you father, Im not marrying anyone unless they really
love me. And so far, only one man has proved that he does.
ALADDIN enters USL, unseen by the EMPEROR and
JASMINE
66
EMPEROR:
But this man is obviously extremely rich.
JASMINE:
I dont care if hes the richest man in the world. I promised Id

wait for Aladdin and thats exactly what Im going to do.
EMPEROR:
(furious) Aladdin? That young rapscallion from the backstreets

of Peking?
JASMINE:
If I have to wait a lifetime for Aladdin, then so be it.
EMPEROR:
(more furious) Aladdin? That lazy good for nothing laundry

boy!
JASMINE:
I love Aladdin, father and Aladdin loves me!
EMPEROR:
(even more furious) ALADDIN!!! THAT(suddenly

turning and noticing Aladdin) extremely talented young
man who I always said would make something of himself.
JASMINE:
(she runs to him) Oh, Aladdin is it really you?
ALADDIN:
Did you really love me before I had all this?
JASMINE:
Of course I did.
EMPEROR:
I always said youd do well for yourself, my boy. Good man,

good man
JASMINE:
Aladdin, where did all this come from?
ALADDIN:
Princess Jasmine, I have so much to tell you...

SUM TING-WONG (Juve) enters USR
SUM TING-WONG: Oh, great Aladdin.

ALADDIN:
Ah, this is my servant, Sum Ting-Wong. Is there something

wrong, Sum Ting-Wong?
SUM TING-WONG: Oh great one, you have visitors!

ALADDIN:
Bid them enter.
SUM TING-WONG: (calling) Worthy visitors, please enter the Palace of Prince
Aladdin!
MUSIC CUE: Chinese fanfare
COURTIERS (ENSEMBLE) enter from all sides
One visitor has asked to be announced, Your Royal Regalness.
67
ALADDIN:
Very well...
SUM TING-WONG: My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome The

Devastatingly Delightful and Dauntingly Delectable Dowager Duchess Twankey.
MUSIC CUE: Chinese Fanfare
WIDOW TWANKEY enters DSR dressed in
GLAMOROUS OUTFIT
ALADDIN:
Mum - you look magnificent!
TWANKEY:
Thank you, son! Im so rich even the bags under my eyes are
Gucci!
ALADDIN:
Emperor, I believe youve already met my mother, Widow

Twankey.
EMPEROR:
Duchess Twankey - I'm delighted to meet you again, ma'am. Tell

me, what did your ex-husband do?
TWANKEY:
He was in oil.
EMPEROR:
Was he a Sheik?
TWANKEY:
No, he was a sardine!

ALADDIN:
Emperor, Mum - Jasmine and I have an announcement to make we're engaged to be married!
ALL cheer and clap
EMPEROR:
Congratulations, my dears; and when's the happy day?
JASMINE:
We haven't decided yet.
EMPEROR:
How about tomorrow? The sooner the marriage contract is

signed the better! Widow Twankey, were going to be seeing a
lot of each other and Im so pleased. Your beauty is
overwhelming; you have the face of a film star.
TWANKEY:
Jennifer Lopez?
EMPEROR:
No, Shrek! (Getting flirty) Widow Twankey, you are a very

special woman.
TWANKEY:
A woman? He may be the Emperor of China but he doesnt

68
know everything, does he, boys and girls?!

EMPEROR:
You have that extra little thing that no other woman has.
TWANKEY:
You can say that again!
EMPEROR:
I just cant put my finger on it.
TWANKEY:
You do and youll get a punch on the nose! Its lovely chatting
to you Emp but Im afraid I must be going Ive got to finish
writing my international best seller, all about a man who dresses
as a woman but has problems with his five oclock shadow.
EMPEROR:
A man who dresses as a woman but has problems with his five
oclock shadow?
TWANKEY:
Yes.
EMPEROR:
Whats it called?
TWANKEY:
Fifty Shaves a Day!

See you later, boys and girls!
TWANKEY exits DSL
ALADDIN:
Jasmine, Ill go and sort out the marriage licence... (to ensemble)
Come on, guys Ill show you around the Palace. (To audience)
Well see you later, gang!
ALADDIN, SUM TING WONG and ENSEMBLE give the
secret signal and then exit USL
EMPEROR:
Ah, well done, Jasmine; I'm so glad you grabbed Aladdin before
some dreadful fortune-hunter did.
JASMINE:
Father, money's not important to me! (dreamily) Oh, Aladdins

so romantic, he always says things like.
ABANAZAR(offstage): New lamps for old!...

EMPEROR:
New lamps for old? that doesnt sound very romantic.

MUSIC CUE: Evil underscore
Enter ABANAZAR USL - dressed as an old peddler and
carrying a LARGE STICK WITH VARIOUS NEW LAMPS
hanging from it.
69
JASMINE:
That wasnt me Father, it was that old peddler.

ABANAZAR is relishing his role as the peddler
ABANAZAR:
New lamps for old! New lamps for old! (to the audience) This
cunning disguise will show my true versatility as an actor.
Nobody and I mean absolutely nobody will recognise me.
EMPEROR:
Hello, Avabanana!
ABANAZAR:
DONT CALL ME THAT NAME!! ahemI am not

AvabananaI am just an old peddler who is giving things away.
EMPEROR:
Well, Im afraid youre going to have to leave immediat... giving

things away? What sort of things?
ABANAZAR:
A bright, shiny, new lamp - in exchange for an old one. Would

you happen to have an old lamp, my lord?
EMPEROR:
No, Im afraid I havent...
ABANAZAR:
Not even one? (He winks very deliberately towards the magic
lamp)
EMPEROR:
Im sorry?
ABANAZAR:
Not even one? (even more deliberate winking)
EMPEROR:
Do you have something in your eye?
ABANAZAR:
(coughs) Lamp
EMPEROR:
I beg your pardon?
ABANAZAR:
(coughs) Lamp...
EMPEROR:
Lamp... where?
ABANAZAR:
(coughs) Behind you!
EMPEROR:
What?... Oh, what a stroke of luck, there just happens to be an

old lamp here.
ABANAZAR:
What a surprise!
JASMINE:
Father, that lamp belongs to Aladdin. I don't think you should

give it away. (To audience) Do you, boys and girls...?
The AUDIENCE react
EMPEROR:
Nonsense, my dear; they don't know a bargain when they see

70
one! Here you are, my good man...

The EMPEROR offers ABANAZAR the lamp
MUSIC CUE: Cymbal roll
The lamp is withdrawn
JASMINE:
Please, Father, don't! He shouldnt do it, should he, boys and

girls?
EMPEROR:
Why not, my dear? If Aladdin values this old thing he must be

mad!
ABANAZAR:
Quite right, your highness; may I take it?

MUSIC CUE: Cymbal roll
EMPEROR:
There you go, my man

The EMPEROR offers ABANAZAR the lamp. ABANAZAR
seizes it and throws off his disguise
MUSIC CUE: cymbal roll into Abanazar motif
ABANAZAR:
Aha! At last - all the power is mine!

ABANAZAR rubs the lamp
PYRO CUE: DSR
MUSIC CUE: Genie of the Lamp play on
The GENIE OF THE LAMP enters DSR. He is dancing as
he listens to some disco music on an i-pod
SFX CUE: Muffled tsssstsstsss tssstsss i-pod disco tune
GENIE:
(sings) I GOT THE MOVES LIKE JAGGER, I GOT THE

MOVES LIKE JAGGER, I GOT THE MOOOOOOOOOO-VES
LIKE JAGGER!
He removes the ear-phones and notices Abanazar
Whoah... what happened to the cool dude, Aladdin?
ABANAZAR:
I have the lamp now and you will do as I say.
GENIE:
(to the audience) I dont like the sound of this but... (he adopts
a Genie-like pose) Speak and I shall obey.
71
ABANAZAR:
Take Aladdin's riches through the air

To beneath the pyramids in Egypt, where
This beautiful Princess by my side,
Shall tomorrow become... ABANAZAR'S BRIDE!
ABANAZAR grabs PRINCESS JASMINE by the wrist
GENIE:
Well, I aint too happy about this but I guess you are the man!
Master - it is done!
The GENIE starts to blow
SFX CUE: The sound of a tornado
MUSIC CUE: Cymbal rolls and crashes
LX CUE: Tornado!
COURTIERS (ENSEMBLE and JUVES) enter from all sides
JASMINE:
Father - help! (she grabs The EMPEROR)
EMPEROR:
Help!!
ENSEMBLE:
Help!!
ABANAZAR, JASMINE, EMPEROR, ENSEMBLE and
JUVES whirl around the stage doing really impressive
tornado acting and then exit in all directions
ALADDIN twirls
CLOTHES).
in
DSL
(now
dressed
in
POOR
FLY CUE: Street of a Thousand Goldfish cloth in

SCENE TEN THE STREET OF A THOUSAND GOLDFISH
ALADDIN:
No... no...! Genie?
GENIE:
Im sorry, Aladdin...
GENIE exits DSR
ALADDIN:
Hiya gang (audience react- secret signal) My Princess gone!

All my riches too?! (shouting) Abanazar - I know it's you!!!
ABANAZAR:
(off) Dont you just love me!

The sound of the WIDOW TWANKEY and PONGO (now
dressed in POOR CLOTHES) twirl in DSL tornado fades
72
PONGO:
Hey, Aladdin... what's happened to all your posh clothes?
ALADDIN:
Our clothes aren't important! Abanazar's stolen the lamp, the

Palace, all the people of Peking and, worst of all, my Princess!
Were back in the streets with absolutely nothing. If only there
was something I could do if only there was something close to
hand.
TWANKEY/
PONGO:
(stroking their chins in a very obvious manner) Close to

hand...
Audience tell Aladdin to rub the ring
ALADDIN:
Whats that, gang?

AUDIENCE react
Right here we go.
ALADDIN rubs the ring... nothing happens
TWANKEY:
Nothings happened... Try again.

ALADDIN rubs the ring again
PYRO CUE: DSR
MUSIC CUE: Spirit of the Ring motif
The SPIRIT OF THE RING enters DSR
SPIRIT:
Sorry, I was just listening to Radio Hankook, Its SO Federal

Way! Anyways, I didn't think you'd need me now you've got
Mister Gee to serve you!
ALADDIN:
That's just what I haven't got! Abanazar's stolen the lamp and
carried Princess Jasmine away! Wheres he taken her?
SPIRIT:
One moment whilst I go into a trance like state...

MUSIC CUE: Trance state
LX CUE: Trance
The SPIRIT OF THE RING goes into a trance like state. She
places her fingers on her temples and starts to hum
TWANKEY:
Oh, maybe I could help with my hypnotic powers.
PONGO:
Are you a medium?
TWANKEY:
No Ive always been an extra large!

73
They all laugh hysterically. PONGO strikes TWANKEY

What did you so that for?
PONGO:
I always like to strike a happy medium!

They all go into a trance. They place their fingers on their
temples and starts to hum and sway
ALADDIN:
Can you see them, Spirit?
SPIRIT:
They're... they're... on 320th St..
ALL:
320th Street?
SPIRIT:
Yes! And now theyve gone into the Big Lots. I dont blame
them, everythings so cheap! (she gasps) OMG I dont
believe it, theyre now flying through the air and landing at The
Ancient Pyramids of Egypt!
ALADDIN:
I have to save Jasmine! Can you fly us there?
SPIRIT:
Not all of you, Im afraid, but Ive got just the thing for you,
Aladdin. Take this magic flying carpet...
They all gesture SR. A FLYING CARPET is thrown in from
wings SL
ALADDIN:
A magic flying carpet? Wow, thanks Spirit. See you in Egypt,

guys, Im off to rescue Princess Jasmine.
MUSIC CUE: Chinese-style Raiders of the Lost Ark
ALADDIN gives the secret signal and then exits heroically
DSL
TWANKEY:
(to the Spirit) Oi Beyonce! I cant let my son go to Egypt on his

own. We need to go as well.
SPIRIT:
I don't have a carpet big enough for you two.
TWANKEY/
PONGO:
Charming!
PONGO:
TWANKEY/:
SPIRIT:
Hey, we could go in one of those vans which sleeps up to four

people!
Camper?
74
PONGO:
(in a really camp voice) We could go in one of those vans which

sleeps up to four people!
TWANKEY:
Come on, well get the bus.
PONGO:
See you later, guys!

WIDOW TWANKEY, PONGO and PONGO exit DSL
SPIRIT:
Now, with the carpet, Aladdins equipped

To make his journey to far-off Egypt.
I hope he finds what hes looking for
But he must be wary, for theres trouble in store
So now Aladdin, its time to fly,
And surf the stars way up high
SPIRIT breaks far DSR
FLY CUE: Street Cloth out to reveal...
SCENE ELEVEN NIGHT FLIGHT TO CAIRO

MUSIC CUE: Defying Gravity ALADDIN and SPIRIT
LX CUE: For flying
ALADDIN is on the FLYING CARPET. He starts to fly
SPIRIT:
SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND HIM

LOOK TO THE EASTERN SKY!
AS SOMEONE TOLD ME LATELY:
"EV'RYONE DESERVES THE CHANCE TO FLY!"
AND IF YOURE FLYING SOLO
AT LEAST YOURE FLYING FREE
IF ABANAZAR DOUBTS ME
TAKE A MESSAGE BACK FROM ME
TELL HIM HOW YOURE DEFYING GRAVITY
YOURE FLYING HIGH, DEFYING GRAVITY
AND SOON YOU'LL MEET HIM IN CAIRO
ALADDIN:
ABANAZAR WILL NOT STOP MY FLIGHT

FOR JASMINES HAND ILL STAND AND FIGHT
SPIRIT:
HES NEVER GONNA BRING YOU DOWN!
ALL (B/V):
ALADDIN TO THE RESCUE
75
LX CUE: Blackout
FLY CUE: Pyramid Front Cloth in
SCENE TWELVE BENEATH THE GREAT PYRAMIDS OF EGYPT
MUSIC CUE: Spooky Egyptian music

PONGO enters DSL
PONGO:
Hiya boys and girls! (audience react) Wow, look at this... Were
beneath the famous pyramids in Egypt, and Abanazars used his
evil powers to turn the Citizens of Peking into Egyptian
mummies. It sounds ridiculous but its pantomime so it must be
true!
ALADDIN enters DSR
ALADDIN:
Pongo!
PONGO:
Aladdin!
They do the secret signal
ALADDIN:
Hey, Ive just seen Abanazar in his hideout. He was acting

suspiciously.
PONGO:
That doesnt surprise me; his acting was very suspicious in The
Turn of the Screw!
ALADDIN:
My Princess is locked in Abanazars hideout until she agrees to

marry him! We've got to rescue her and the people of Peking!
PONGO:
But the palace is bristling with guards - all armed to the teeth!
ALADDIN:
Armed to the teeth?
PONGO:
Yes, theyve got machine gums!

SFX CUE: Scary mummy sound
ALADDIN:
Did you hear that?
PONGO:
Did it go ohhhhhhhh!
ALADDIN:
Yes.
76
PONGO:
I didnt hear a thing!
ALADDIN:
I dont like this place I think it may be haunted.
PONGO:
Dont be silly, Aladdin, you know the rules. A place is only

haunted if theres a fat guy pretending to be a woman and
wearing a ridiculous costume.
TWANKEY enters DSR wearing PEKING WOK NOODLE
BOX dress
TWANKEY:
Hello, boys and girls. Did anyone order a Chinese Takeaway?

(to the audience) Peking Wok, ladies and gentlemen, Federal
Ways finest Chinese Restaurant!
She looks into the wings and sticks her thumb up
PONGO:
Widow Twankey, we think this place might be haunted! What do

you think we should do?
Beat
TWANKEY:
Peking Wok!
She looks into the wings and mimes two
PONGO:
What?
TWANKEY:
Peking Wok... A Taste of the Orient!

She looks into the wings and mimes three
ALADDIN:
Just a minute, mom... Has somebody paid you to wear that

costume and keep mentioning their name?
TWANKEY:
Pardon?
ALADDIN:
Has somebody paid you to wear that costume and keep

mentioning their name?
TWANKEY:
Which name?
ALADDIN:
Peking Wok!
TWANKEY:
(looking into the wings) Thats got to be worth a bonus.

SFX CUE: Ohhhhhhhhhh
ALADDIN:
Theres that noise again. This is Egypt, I bet its full of scary
mummies.
77
TWANKEY:
Theres one or two scary mummies in the front row!
PONGO:
Look, all we have to do is sit on that conveniently placed bench,

sing a song and it will keep the scary mummies away.
PONGO gets BENCH from wings (SL)
ALADDIN:
Are you sure it will work?
PONGO:
It has done for the last seven years!
ALADDIN:
Now, gang, if you see anything will you shout out and warn us?
(react) Will you shout louder than that? And join in with this
song.
TWANKEY:
Thank you Uncle David...

MUSIC CUE: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!'
LX CUE: Mysterious
ALL:
Always look on the bright side of life

De dum, de dum de dum de dum.
(Swinging right arm) Yeah!
1 MUMMY enters SL and stands behind them
ALL:

MUMMY exits SL
ALADDIN:
AUDIENCE:
ALL:
AUDIENCE:
ALL:
AUDIENCE:
ALL:
(Rising from the bench) What was it?

A MUMMY
A MUMMY?
Yes!
Was it?
Yes!
Well, well have to sing it again then wont we woops! (swing
right arm and kick right leg)
ALL:

2 MUMMIES enter SR and stays behind the bench
(Swinging right arm) Yeah
ALL:

78
PONGO:
Where is it? Behind us come on well have a look.

They circle the bench clock wise, MUMMIES follow and then
exit
TWANKEY:
AUDIENCE:
ALL:
AUDIENCE:
ALL:
AUDIENCE:
ALL:
Theres no sign of him, what was it?

MUMMIES!
MUMMIES?
Yes!
Was it?
Yes!
ALL:

2 MUMMIES enter, tap ALADDIN on shoulder and chase
him off
BOTH:

TWANKEY:
Sing up, Aladdin. (realising he has gone) Wheres Aladdin

gone?
MUMMIES!
MUMMIES?
Yes!
Was it?
Yes!
PONGO:
AUDIENCE:
BOTH:
AUDIENCE:
BOTH:
AUDIENCE:
BOTH:
BOTH:

2 MUMMIES enter, tap PONGO on shoulder and chase him
off
TWANKEY:
AUDIENCE:
TWANKEY:
Sing up, Pongo (realising he has gone)

MUMMIES!
A what?
79
AUDIENCE:
TWANKEY:
AUDIENCE:
TWANKEY:
AUDIENCE:
TWANKEY:
MUMMIES!
MUMMIES?
Yes!
Was it?
Yes!
Well, Ill have to sing it again then, wont I woops! (swing
2 MUMMIES enter and sit next to TWANKEY. They join in
with the hand jive
Slowly TWANKEY stops and turns to face the MUMMIES.
TWANKEY:
Hello there!
The MUMMIES scream and exits SR and SL.
Peking Wok!
LX CUE: BLACK OUT.
MUSIC CUE: Comedy play off
(TWANKEY exits during BLACKOUT taking bench with
her)
FLY CUE: Cloth out
LX CUE: Lights up to reveal
SCENE TWELVE (a) ABANAZARS PALACE IN EGYPT

MUSIC CUE: Trouble ABANAZAR, ENSEMBLE and
JUVES (MUMMIES)
The scene starts with ABANAZAR (wearing shades)
emerging from behind 4 MUMMIES (Juves) and eventually
we see more and more enter until there are 8 MUMMIES
(Juves and Ensemble) on stage
80
ABANAZAR:
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR TROUBLE

YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR TROUBLE
JUST LOOK RIGHT IN MY FACE
I WAS BORN STANDING UP
AND TALKING BACK
MY DADDY WAS A GREEN-EYED MOUNTAIN JACK
BECAUSE I'M EVIL, MY MIDDLE NAME IS MISERY
(spoken) My parents had a funny sense of humour!
WELL I'M EVIL, SO DON'T YOU MESS AROUND WITH ME
I'VE NEVER LOOKED FOR TROUBLE
BUT I'VE NEVER RAN
I DON'T TAKE NO ORDERS
FROM NO KIND OF MAN
I'M ONLY MADE OUT
OF FLESH, BLOOD AND BONE
BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA START A RUMBLE
DON'T YOU TRY IT ON ALONE
BECAUSE I'M EVIL, MY MIDDLE NAME IS MISERY
Abanazar Misery Elizabeth Smith!
WELL I'M EVIL, SO DON'T YOU MESS AROUND WITH ME
I'M EVIL, EVIL, EVIL, AS CAN BE
I'M EVIL, EVIL, EVIL, AS CAN BE
SO DON'T MESS AROUND DON'T MESS AROUND DON'T
MESS AROUND WITH ME
I'M EVIL, I'M EVIL, EVIL, EVIL
SO DON'T MESS AROUND, DON'T MESS AROUND WITH ME
I'M EVIL, I TELL YOU I'M EVIL
SO DON'T MESS AROUND WITH ME
ABANAZAR:
Thank you... thank you... Isnt this wonderful? Ive put a curse
on the people of Peking and turned them into my very own army
of yummy mummies hahahahahahaha! Now, bring the
prisoners to me!
MUMMIES:
Yes, Avabanana!
ABANAZAR:
DONT CALL ME THAT NAME!

Mummies exit in all directions
I have everything Ive ever desired; the only thing now is for
Princess Jasmine to agree to be my bride! Hahhahaha!
TWO MUMMIES return SL with PRINCESS JASMINE and
EMPEROR
Ah, my Princess - how beautiful you look tonight!
JASMINE:
Don't you dare touch me!

81
ABANAZAR:
So beautiful and yet so cold! Either you consent to marry me or

there will be some very painful consequences.
JASMINE:
(turning on Abanazar) Your threats do not frighten me,

Abanazar; I would rather die than become your bride!
ABANAZAR:
EMPEROR:
ABANAZAR:
EMPEROR:
Oh I dont intend to harm a hair of your beautiful head

What did I tell you?
it is your father who will suffer!
he's got a heart of .WHAT?!
ABANAZAR:
If you do not accept my proposal, your father will be taken to the

dungeons where he will endure a long and lingering demise Death by a Thousand Cuts!!
EMPEROR:
A thousand cuts? (to the audience) Sounds like the budget for
the Federal Way School District!
JASMINE
I will never marry you Abanazar, you are a cruel, hideous

creature and... oh, by the way... I hate you!
ABANAZAR:
Do not provoke me, girl! Marry me or youll never see your

father again!
ALADDIN jumps on SL. PONGO and TWANKEY jump on
SR
ALADDIN:
(Taking the lamp) And youll never see the lamp again!
ABANAZAR:
Aladdin!
ALADDIN:
Mum, catch!!
ALADDIN throws the lamp to TWANKEY
PONGO:
KUNG FU FIGHT!
SFX: Chinese Voice Over
We are suddenly in a bad Chinese-Kung-Fu-Enter-theDragon-type movie. ALADDINS and ABANAZARS
mouths move far too quickly for the words we are hearing (as
if it is a badly dubbed foreign film).
ABANAZAR:
(VO) Now is the time to meet your doom, Aladdin
ALADDIN:
(VO) No, now is the time to meet your doom... Avabanana!
ABANAZAR:
(VO) Dont call me that name!
82
ALADDIN:
(VO) Which name?
ABANAZAR:
(VO) Avabanana! Arggggghhhhhhhhh!

A comedic KUNG FU FIGHT ensues
MUSIC CUE: Chinese-style fight music (with Kung Fu-style
cymbals)
SFX CUE: Comedy punches etc
LX CUE: Stylised Kung Fu fight
ALADDIN defeats ABANAZAR
EMPEROR:
What are we going to do with this villain?
TWANKEY:
Make him do The Sound of Music at Tacoma Musical Playhouse!
ABANAZAR:
No anything but that!
ALADDIN:
What shall we do with him, boys and girls?

Audience react. Some small children will invariably shout
kill him
PONGO:
Theres a little boy over here - about six years old - shouting kill
him kill him! (to his parents) You must be very proud! Well
see him on Jerry Springer in a couple of years!
ALADDIN:
The Genies will sort him out; mom, you rub the lamp, Ill rub the
ring.
TWANKEY:
Will do, Aladdin!

ALADDIN and TWANKEY rub the LAMP and RING
PYRO CUE: DSL and DSR
The GENIE OF THE LAMP enters DSR and the SPIRIT OF
THE RING enters DSL
MUSIC CUE: Genies play on
GENIE/SPIRIT:
(very serious) What is your command, O master...?
SPIRIT:
(realising it is Aladdin) Aladdin!
GENIE:
Hows it hangin dude?... its good to see you!
ALADDIN:
Genies... Can you make this monster lovable?
GENIES
As our master wishes...

83
SPIRIT:
(To Abanazar) Now, by our spell you'll be beguiled...
GENIE:
As weak and helpless - as a child!

MUSIC CUE: Spell Zap
ABANAZAR becomes like a five year-old child
ABANAZAR:
(he cries) I want to watch Sesame Street! (he sings) I love

Elmo!! (he sings) Sweepin' the clouds away, On my way to
where the air is sweet, Can you tell me how to get, How to get to
Sesame Street! (To Jasmine) It's not fair - everyone picks on
me! Make them stop - they're hurting me!
JASMINE:
Get off! You big cry-baby!
ABANAZAR:
I want my mummy! I want my mummy!

A MUMMY (male ensemble) enters DSR
ABANAZAR:
Mummy!
MUSIC CUE: Mammy
The Mummy picks ABANAZAR into his arms. ABANAZAR
bursts into song (Al Jolson-style). He sings as they exit, with
the MUMMY kicking his legs in time to the music
ABANAZAR:
ID WALK A MILLION MILES FOR ONE OF YOUR SMILES,

MY MUMMY!
They exit DSR
JASMINE:
Aladdin, the people of Peking are still trapped as mummies
ALADDIN:
Genies, can you release them?
GENIE:
Are there any pretty ladies?
PONGO:
Oh, yes, there are lots of pretty ladies!
SPIRIT:
Are there any really big butch men?

Beat
PONGO:
There are lots of pretty ladies!
GENIE:
Master it is done!
84
The PEOPLE of PEKING (JUVENILES/ENSEMBLE) enter

cheering
ALADDIN:
I have one more thing to ask of you, Genies.... can you transport
us all back to Peking where Princess Jasmine and I are going to
be married.
TWANKEY:
Make it a double wedding, the Emperors just proposed to me!
EMPEROR:
Have I?
TWANKEY:
Were the family with all the money!
EMPEROR:
My darling wife!
ALADDIN:
Hey, youre all invited to the wedding!
ALL:
Hooray!
GENIES:
Master, it will be done!
ALADDIN:
I wish you'd both stop calling me master - my name's Aladdin!
SPIRIT:
But if you own the lamp and ring, you own us!
ALADDIN:
Then I give the lamp and the ring to you!
GENIE:
I dont get it.
ALADDIN:
Well, I have everything Ive ever dreamed of; I dont need

anything else. If you own the lamp and ring, you serve
yourselves... My final wish is to set you free! Spirit, your ring...
ALADDIN hands her the ring
Mr Gee, your lamp!
ALADDIN hands him the lamp
GENIE:
Free?...
SPIRIT:
Shaaaattt apppppppppp!What? After all these years were

finally free? Are you sure, Aladdin?
ALADDIN:
Of course Im sure.
GENIES:
Were free!
ALL:
Hooray!
MUSIC CUE: Think! - GENIE, SPIRIT, ALADDIN,
85
TWANKEY, PONGO, JASMINE, EMPEROR,

ENSEMBLE & JUVES
SPIRIT:
ALL:
SPIRIT:
ALL:
SPIRIT:
ALL:
SPIRIT:
ALL:
YOUD BETTER THINK!

THINK
THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE TRYING TO GIVE TO ME
THINK!
THINK THINK
YOURE LETTING ME GO, LETTING ME BE FREE
LETS GO BACK, LETS GO BACK, LETS GO WAY OVER
WAY BACK WHEN
I DIDNT EVEN KNOW YOU WHEN YOU FIRST RUBBED
THE RING BACK THEN
I AIN'T NO PSYCHIATRIST, AIN'T NO GENIE WITH A
DEGREE
IT DON'T TAKE TOO MUCH HIGH IQ'S TO SEE WHAT
YOU'RE GIVING ME
(BUT) YOUD BETTER THINK!
(THINK)
THINK!
THINK THINK
FREEDOM, FREEDOM, FREEDOM, FREEDOM
SPIRIT:
YEAH - THINK ABOUT IT, OOH - THINK ABOUT IT
GENIE:
IVE BEEN STUCK INSIDE THAT LAMP GRANTING WISHES

TO ONE AND ALL
NOW YOUVE OFFERED ME ONE LAST WISH AND ITS MY
GREATEST WISH OF ALL
YOUD BETTER THINK!
THINK
THINK!
THINK THINK!
GIVING US OUR FREEDOM IS THE BEST THING YOU
COULD DO
WELL ACCEPT YOUR OFFER IF YOURE SURE YOUVE
THOUGHT IT THROUGH
YOUD BETTER THINK!
THINK
THINK!
THINK THINK!
YOU NEED ME
AND I NEED YOU
WITHOUT EACH OTHER THERE AINT NOTHING WE CAN
ALL:
GENIE:
ALL:
GENIE:
SPIRIT:
BOTH:
ALL:
BOTH:
ALL:
BOTH:
SPIRIT
GENIE:
BOTH:
86
DO
FLY CUE: Palace gates cloth in
SCENE FOURTEEN - THE PAGODA OF PERPETUAL BLISS

MUSIC CUE: Walkdown - Bring Me Sunshine
JUVENILES
ENSEMBLE
EMPEROR
SPIRIT
GENIE
WIDOW TWANKEY
PONGO
ABANAZAR
PONGO:
Ladies and gentlemen, three cheers for Aladdin and Princess

Jasmine Hip hip Hip hip hip hip
Enter ALADDIN AND JASMINE
Music stops
EMPEROR:
And so our storys over and now its time to go.
PONGO:
So just one final question... have you all enjoyed the show?
SPIRIT:
Weve made Abanazar good so now, hes quite a charmer...
ABANAZAR:
(in best stage English) So if you see me in the street - you may
call be Avabanana!
TWANKEY:
Im getting quite emotional - I think I need a hanky....
GENIE:
I never thought Id say this, Im in love with Widow Twankey!
JASMINE:
Before you all leave for home well ask for one more cheer...
ALADDIN:
...and a promise to come back to our pantomime next year!

(ALL cheer)
MUSIC CUE: Pantomime (Pom Poms) FULL
COMPANY
87
(David assigns lyrics as he sees fit)

More to love when your hands are free
Baby got your pantomime from me
Come on shake it up 123
Yeah they come from miles away
Just to see how we get down
Feels like an earthquake
Every time you come around
You hear em saying yeah (yeah)
Every time feels like a revival (glory)
So get up, right now
Were coming for the title
Baby get your pantomime from me
When you move I fall to my knees
I want you on my team
Want you like kid just wants a milkshake
And I wont let it go to waste if I get a taste
Im gonna drink the whole thing
You hear em saying yeah (yeah)
Every time feels like a revival (glory)
So get up, right now
Were coming for the title
Ladies to the left, fellas to the right
If you like to see me in my pantomime
Then sing it to me baby sing it right now
Na na na na na na, yeah yeah
If you like to see me in my pantomime
Then sing it to me baby sing it right now
Na na na na na na, yeah yeah
88

89

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Centerstage 2013

SONGS: ACT ONE use lyrics as re-written ins cript

fair is foul and foul is fair. (Suddenly he turns and looks

but it might just work.

Ah, beautiful apparition; I beg thee to impart thy vast knowledge

(in a very annoying accent) Al-wight buddeeeeee! Hows it

I beg your pardon?

(returning to a serious Spirit-like pose and voice) I do know

Tell me, powerful spirittell me what you know!

I know how to dance Gangnam Style hit it two, three,

(returning to a serious Spirit-like pose and voice) I serve the

wearer of Tutankhamens Ring.

(bowing) I can help you, O Master.

Two: To rule the entire universe.

(bowing) I can help you, O Master.

Three: To be the greatest Shakespearian actor that ever lived!

Hahahahahahaha! Shut upppppppppp!

Im a Spirit, not a miracle worker! Look, if you want to rule the

Young boy? Bah (to the audience) I hate children! What do I

Aladdin? Where will I find this Aladdin?

Old Peking in far-off China, eh? Can you take me there?

In the blink of an eye O master...

SCENE ONE - THE MARKET PLACE IN OLD PEKING

(over intro) Welcome to the City of Old Peking.

Hold your horses, guy, weve got to do a bit of sight-seeing

(smiling and waving) Hello!!!

Might get heaven

Saints and sinners

Free your mind, your behind's gonna follow

Throw your pennies

Show and prove, do or die

We won't sleep, we won't cry

Well done, welcome to the panto

Have a good time out at our panto

At the end of song ENSEMBLE stay on

Hello! (audience react) Oh come on, you can do better than

(stepping forward and waving in a very obvious manner)

Hey, seeing as youre so friendly, you can be in my gang if you

Hey, Aladdin, why dont we have a competition to see whos the

Good idea, Unnamed Villager Number One thats what hes

This guy on the front row wasnt joining in at all so were

(offstage) Clear the streets, clear the streets!

Oh no, its the police!

Hello (audience react) Oh, come on, my costumes louder

A Bonnie Tyler GPS?

Is the crime rate bad at the moment, Pongo?

Oh yes. We have a lot of theft. Only we dont call it theft in

Oh really? What DO you call it?

Why would she do such a stupid thing?

She thought the change would do her good.!

Im not lazy! I work for my mom at the laundry, were opening a

The bowling alley?

Yes, the bowling alley.

No, its permanent!

Well look, youve got to clear the streets... Theyre proceeding

The Emperor and his daughter, the beautiful Princess Jasmine

because Im just a humble laundry boy but one day... Im going

You dont mean we get...

(sitting up) Yes, a night out in Fife!

Hello, Federal Way!

Widow Twankey, its you!

Yes. Thank goodness Im here. Ive been shopping at Target!

I thought you liked Target.