Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a

person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her

own worth. Self-esteem can best be described as your
own abilities and values. It does not mean thinking you
are the best at everything, but feeling comfortable with
yourself even when you are not. It is accepting yourself,
with all your strengths and weaknesses, while still
taking opportunities for self-development (Wilding &
Palmer, 2010).
Emmett Miller, a noted authority on selfesteem, says that as adults we tend to define ourselves
in terms of the following items:

The Things We Possess. Miller says this is the

most primitive source of self-worth. People who
define themselves in terms of what they have may
have difficulty deciding what is enough and may
spend their life in search of more material
possessions.
What We Do for a Living. Miller points out that
too often our self-worth and identity depend on
something as arbitrary as a job title. Amy Saltzman,
author of Downshifting, points out that we have
looked to outside forces such as the corporation,
the university, or the media to provide us with a
script for leading a satisfying, worthwhile life.
Our Internal Value System and Emotional
Makeup. Miller says this is the healthiest way for
people to identify themselves: If you dont give
yourself credit for excellence in other areas of life,
besides your job and material possessions, youve
got nothing to keep your identity afloat during a
job layoff or a troubled family relationship. People
who are in touch with their real identity weather
the storm better because they have a more varied
and richer sense of themselves, owing to the
importance they attach to their personal lives and
activities.

As an adult, you will be constantly adjusting the level

of your self-esteem as you cope with events at work and
in your personal life.
Self-esteem influences behavior, thought, and
emotions in its capacity (Kernis, 2013). People with
healthy self-esteem tend to have a sense of personal
worth that has been strengthened through various
achievements and through accurate self-appraisal
(Reece, et. al., 2011). But if our self-esteem is low, we
invariably seek out other means for affirmation of our
self-worth. When our self-worth is derived from the
views and opinions of the society in which we live, we
have condemned ourselves to an existence of instability
and ever changing values (Davis, 2010).

Characteristics of people with low selfesteem (Reece, et. al., 2011)

1.

2.
3.

They tend to maintain an external locus of

control. People who maintain an external locus of
control believe that their life is almost totally
controlled by outside forces and that they bear little
personal responsibility for what happens to them.
When we rely too heavily on validation from
external sources, we can lose control over our lives.
They are more likely to participate in selfdestructive behaviors.
They tend to exhibit poor human relations skills.
Individuals with low self-esteem may have
difficulty developing effective interpersonal skills.

Characteristics of people with high selfesteem (Reece, et. al., 2011)

1.

They tend to maintain an internal locus of

control. They make decisions for their own reasons
based on their standards of what is right and wrong.
They learn from their mistakes, but are not
immobilized by them.

2.

3.

4.

5.

They are able to feel all dimensions of emotion

without letting those emotions affect their
behavior in a negative way. It is okay to have
anxious, scared, angry, or depressed feelingsas
long as you dont let them stop you from doing
what you have to do.
They are less likely to take things personally. Don
Miguel Ruiz, author of the best-selling book The
Four Agreements, cautions us to avoid taking
others comments personally. He says that when
you react strongly to gossip or strongly worded
criticism (Youre so fat!), you suffer for nothing.
Ruiz notes that many of these messages come from
people who are unable to respect you because they
do not respect themselves.
They are able to accept other people as unique,
talented individuals. They learn to accept others
for who they are and what they can do. People with
high self-esteem build mutual trust based on each
individuals uniqueness.
They have a productive personality. They are
optimistic in their approach to life and are capable
of being creative, imaginative problem solvers.
Because of this, they tend to be leaders and to be
skillful in dealing with people. They have the
ability to evaluate the dynamics of a relationship
and adjust to the demands of the interaction. They
are able to handle stress in a productive way by
putting their problems and concerns into
perspective and maintaining a balance of work and
fun in their lives.

Ways To Boost Your Self-Esteem

Building your self-esteem is often a do-it-toyourself project. No one can wrap a package of selfesteem and give it to you for your birthday. Healthy
self-esteem comes from realizing what qualities and
skills you have that you can rely on and then making a
plan to build those qualities and skills that you want in
the future. Such a change is the result of a slow, steady

evolution that begins with the desire to overcome low

self-esteem.

Search for the Source of Low Self-Esteem.

Increasing your self-esteem requires achieving a
greater level of self-awareness and learning to
accurately perceive your particular balance of
strengths and weaknesses.
Identify and Accept Your Limitations. Become
realistic about who you are and what you can and
cannot do. Demanding perfection of yourself is
unrealistic because no one is perfect.
Take Responsibility for Your Decisions. Making
decisions helps you develop confidence in your
own judgment and enables you to explore options.
Engage in Strength Building. Most organizations
take their employees strengths for granted and
focus on minimizing their weaknesses. The
research findings suggest that the best way to excel
in a career is to maximize your strengths.Strength
building also requires the acquisition of knowledge
and skill.
Seek the Support and Guidance of Mentors.
Building Partnerships for Learning, defines a
mentor as someone who helps someone else learn
something the learner would otherwise have
learned less well, more slowly, or not at all.

1.

2.

Search for a mentor who has the qualities of

a good coach. Look for someone whom you
would like to emulate, both in business savvy
and in operating style. Be sure it is someone
who is absolutely credible, a person you trust
enough to talk with about touchy issues.
Market yourself to a prospective mentor. The
best mentor for you may be someone who is
very busy.

An effective mentor is someone who will tell

you things you may not want to hear but make you want
to be better. A good mentor will support your attempts
to accomplish goals and give you the confidence to rise
above your inner doubts and fears.

Set Goals. People who set goals and successfully

achieve them are able to achieve higher selfesteem. Why? Because setting goals enables you to
take ownership of the future. Once you realize that
just about every behavior is controllable, the
possibilities for improving your self-esteem are
endless. Self- change may be difficult, but its not
impossible. If you set goals that really excite you,
desire will fuel your will to achieve them.
Practice Guided Imagery. Guided imagery is one
of the most creative and empowering methods for
achieving your goals available today. It provides

you with a way to harness the power of the mind

and imagination to succeed at something.
Use Positive Self-Talk. Self-talk takes place in the
privacy of your mind. It can be rational and
productive, or it can be irrational and disruptive.
You can create effective, positive self-talk
statements for each of your goals by using the
following guidelines:
1. Be specific about the behavior you want to
change.
2. Begin each self-talk statement with a firstperson pronoun, such as I or my.
3. Describe the results you want to achieve. Be
sure to phrase the statement as though you
have already achieved what you want.