Академический Документы
Профессиональный Документы
Культура Документы
by Joshua Allen
frankly, that he would not show up. He'd been acting erratically
even before his sabbatical, and just my brief run-in with him
the blue. I hadn't even known he was back in town. His clothes
before me. But I had been fighting with Kitty over money lately,
to meet him.
just called Kitty and apologized for our stupid fight. It was my
fault, anyway. I had only been too selfish to admit it. She's
private quarters I turn into a selfish child. Too late for what
if's now, Andrei opened his mouth and spoke, his voice sounding
household.
was happy when he opened the menu and took the focus of his eyes
discomfort must have just been the long stretch of time that had
something out.
violation, I was the one with the English accent. Here in Iowa,
Allen - Dinner - 2
that all scientists must have. I must believe in natural
Really vivid stuff. But you know how most times you get
spoke again. "I left Yelena when the dreams started to get
especially vivid."
Allen - Dinner - 3
"You left your wife?" Normally I'm unflappable. But I nearly
hadn't seen her at any functions, and not just since Andrei had
Andrei downed half a glass of thick red wine. "I don't want
you to trouble yourself about it. Please. I only tell you now in
passing. It was the dreams, you know? The dreams made life
unbearable."
Allen - Dinner - 4
dreaded going home. Knowing I had gone wrong again, that I was
night the dreams got more and more clear, as though they were
hungry. So I ate. "What were these dreams? What would make you
leave Yelena?"
all. "Maybe saying I left her was too strong. It wasn't out of
"Surely you get that? I simply was making more time alone
than together with her. We didn't really talk about it. Maybe I
to say"
Allen - Dinner - 5
Yes, the work. Kitty likes to say that when I am there,
in your brain billions of times more than its size should allow.
Divorce.
only depressed me. "You still haven't told me what your dreams
were," I said.
"Yes. The dreams." He ate his food and peered at me. "They were
Allen - Dinner - 6
The language of this statement was what struck me as off at
first. Our universe. We had always ever talked about the birth
studying that singular event: the birth of the universe, the Big
silence.
you. But I was seeing it more vividly than we had ever seen it
in the lab, Oppy. I mean, I was seeing the zero point, the point
where it all began, the point we've been trying to reach for our
the stuff leading up. There was stuff leading up, you see."
Allen - Dinner - 7
"It was all wrong, you see. Particles were there that
checked by a psychiatrist."
"No."
"Come off it, then, Andrei. You left Yelena for some fantasy
sting him.
"I can't explain it, Oppy. I knew what I was seeing was
"Then your dreams were more vivid when you were awake."
it."
looked for the waiter. Had he gone home for the day? "At least
Allen - Dinner - 8
I leaned back, sighing. The waiter had apparently slipped
recuperate on my own."
me. You know them, but I don't want to tell you who they are.
knows we've seen it. I mean, you were probably near the
university, am I right?"
was German. Two Americans. A Swede joined the cabal before too
notice that the building next door was chock full of famous
Allen - Dinner - 9
scientists, but then I realized how foolish I was being. What
find a few for whom our names would ring a vague bell, one or
name alone, but who among them would recognize our faces? None
unnoticed."
"Surely you weren't all able to stay silent too long. You
mean?"
dream. All of us. We began to meet and do what we do: map out
Allen - Dinner - 10
"Gods, you mean?" I asked.
soup created us--or the things that eventually evolved into us.
existed. But Andrei, you are scientists. How could you have
was more than just dream. I make us sound so rational. Truth is,
for the first three months, all any of us felt was fear."
Allen - Dinner - 11
fear, of course, came worship," Andrei said, stopping to wet his
mouth.
think of. We needed to test these dreams, as you said. And how
I had no suggestions. They were all clearly mad. Why not add
sex and drugs to the mix? Madness was easier to take high and in
been. No, it was another man who finally stepped up and bade us
Allen - Dinner - 12
We were a byproduct of that work, nothing more--as we have
universe.
I who put it into words," Andrei sound with quiet pride. "What
thing."
"But how?"
you do when you have a hypothesis you must test and no obvious
test?"
and prodded, sometimes for years, before we figured out what the
Allen - Dinner - 13
right question was always the first step, but the rest of it was
veins going into each room and held the wires as we slept. Other
some glimmer in Andrei's eye, but saw nothing. "So what worked?
at the check and laid a credit card inside the leather case.
something we tried early on. One of the first things we did was
Allen - Dinner - 14
construct an antenna. Well, we had the right idea, but we should
the dream, Oppy. Amazing things about the origin, the Big Bang.
did before.
and tried to figure out by elimination which one was causing the
Allen - Dinner - 15
soon as we started up again, the transmission strengthened. I
try having people in motion while others slept. That was the
key. It took a long time to get to that point, but once we were
best. When we made a right move, we all knew it right away. More
findings during the day and tuned them in at night, sleeping and
read the findings the next day and would be ready for their
Allen - Dinner - 16
shift that night. Then we found the perfect configuration and
there was a...I don't know what to call it. A paradigm shift. A
blue shift. Red to blue, just like the beginning of the end. We
asleep."
be over.
Andrei rubbed his chin and sighed. "I can't tell you,
Robert."
You must hold the magic words to have access to the secret
knowledge. "
"Taste."
Allen - Dinner - 17
I flinched, disturbed by this sudden change in disposition.
"What?"
"I can't tell you, but you can know," Andrei said.
demanded.
(Christ, how I had fallen into something like love when I had
different king of blue completely. Gone was the pupil, gone the
white sclera, a blue light shined there now. Shined under its
The color modulated and fluxed within the eye socket, like the
to me.
Now I could see the fork was starting to glow blue as well,
very faintly, like the surface of skim milk. Then the fork began
Allen - Dinner - 18
to vibrate and shake in his hand. The tines of the fork curled
apology of light. I don't know what the thing was across from
Insistently.
ran and ran until I got home. Kitty was gone. Apparently, she'd
had she simply grown bored waiting for me? Perhaps she was
Allen - Dinner - 19
A few hours passed and I started seeing strange things out
look and nothing would be there. I would fix on a spot, but the
lived. How many times had he and Yelena been here for supper? I
left, without waiting for Kitty to come back. I left and drove
cult I guess.
the food when it was offered. She would eat. She was so damn
disappearing.
Allen - Dinner - 20
The news, to my surprise, actually covered the disappearance
as well have never existed. But the others. After I hid out they
started disappearing all over the country. All over the globe.
it. I was mentioned on two newscasts, but not on the other three
that I followed during that time. I hoped Kitty knew that I was
safe. I hoped she figured out I had gone into hiding. I hoped
hoped she was telling the news people that I was not a part of
any insanity such as this and that was why my name refused to
for three months, they said. Dating back to the day I holed up
I still can't figure that out. Maybe it's a message to me. Maybe
it's their way of telling me that they are still after me, and
Allen - Dinner - 21
I sleep often. Every night since my dinner with Andrei, I
that could come here and save us. Maybe if I dreamed hard enough
I could bring in the antidote to the blue shift, the liquid blue
Soon, I will have a dream, but not the one I want. It will
be their dream. They will come and take me and I will dream
away.
something else that had devoured him from the inside out,
destroying the clicks and buzzes inside him that had once made
him simple old Andrei, a guy who liked to drink too much at
Meat and bones and animal Andrei. Something had eaten him and
my pen down now and take these pills. I hope that when I fall
Allen - Dinner - 22
asleep, I have a vivid dream, unlike every other night. I want
that dream. That good, red dream that counters the liquid blue.
It will be my one last dream. Our one last hope. But I'm afraid,
THE END
Allen - Dinner - 23