Mindfulness Gill Hasson

Enable people to make the most of their time, to live their life with purpose,
dignity and support, to make the most of the present, rather then getting too
caught up in regrets for the past or fears for the future.
We can gain experience from the past, but we cannot relieve it. We can hope for
the future, but we do not know if there is one.
Learn to be mindful.
Informal mindfulness means simply bringing mindful awareness to everyday life.
All the time your mind is chattering with commentary or judgement.
You can get stuck in the past, going back over and over events or becoming
paralyzed by worries about the future.
Anxiety disorders mean dwelling on the past can lead to depression.
Experience and appreciate your life instead of rushing through it.
Mindfulness is a way of living your life.
Mindfulness is living in the moment, not for the moment.
You make conscious decisions and you take responsibility for your choices.
You can change the way you think.
Actively seek out the good things in life. Make an effort to notice the good things
in life.
You probably do most things automatically, without noticing what you are doing.
You are disconnected from what is happening right now.
Being stuck in the past leads to depression and being trapped in the future leads
to anxiety.
Children are great role models for being in the moment. Cats show us how to live
in the moment.
You dont need to like or dislike, approve or disapprove of whats happening. You
simply need to be aware of it.
Thinking is not always an unmitigated blessing. Your thoughts can trap you.
Thinking seems to be our default setting. Your mind has a life of its own. It just
goes on and on, thinking, musing, fantasizing, planning, anticipating, worrying,
liking, disliking, remembering, forgetting, evaluating, reacting and so on.
You can get swept away by a tidal wave of thoughts and feelings. Habitual
thought patterns. Stay focused.
When you are mindful you are less critical. Mindfulness frees you from
judgement.
Self-talk have slipped into negative and unhelpful patterns.
You are less reactive and more responsive.

The quality of your life improves you are able to manage difficult situations
more easily and get more out of the good things in life.
You are able to let go and turn your attention to the things that make life worth
living.
Frees you from being preoccupied with your own situation.
Creates a new perspective.
It gives you confidence and courage. You develop a stronger self-belief.
Acceptance means understanding that things are or are not happening.
Non judgemental means not making an evaluation just simply experiencing or
observing.
Letting go means not hanging on or getting attached to thoughts, feelings, ideas
and events.
Focus and engagement means focus your attention on one thing at a time.
Use a beginners mind.
Patience and trust mean understanding that things develop in their own time.
You can learn to think in a more open, flexible, helpful way.
Recognize unhelpful way of thinking.
Core components of the brain are neurons, cells in the nervous system that
process and transmit information. Neurons connect to each other to form neural
pathways and networks.
They become habits. Reverts to automatic pilots.
Mind traps. Catastrophizing, like worst case scenarios. You also worry about what
you have little control over. Jumping to conclusions. Tunnel thinking when your
mind excludes possibilities and options. Nothing is ever good enough. You are
over focused on the future. The past is dominating your present. The
confirmation trap is the basis for prejusice. The conformity trap. The sunk cost
trap. The blame trap when looking for someone to blame for the unfortunate
situation you find yourself in.
Any thought or action creates a neutral pathway in the brain. There are the
reptilian brain, the limbic brain and the neo-cortex. Limbic responses reflect your
feelings, attitudes and intentions. Neo-cortex, the new brain is responsible for
your cognitive abilities, thinking, remembering and reasoning.
All that matters is what happens from now on.
Meet new people. New people bring new thoughts, ideas and perceptions into
your life. You have to decide to do things differently to experience different
results.
Next time youre with someone who you know well try and see something new
about them. Take a fresh approach. Start from scratch.
Let go of the thoughts of how life should be and enjoy it just as it is.

Your brain has to build new networks of neurons,memory pathways.

Pre awareness stage of change. Identification and comtemplation stage.
Preparation stage. Action stage. Progress, change and replapse.
I want to be free from worrying about things I have no control over.
Patience and trust mean knowing that things develop in their own time. Be
patient and kind to yourself, dont think of difficulties as failure.
Empty your mind. Your mind cannot be easily controlled.
Feelings are just one aspect of an emotion. An emotion has three aspects:
thoughts, behaviour and feelings. Interact with each other to create an emotion.
When you are relaxed and happy, your body relases serotonin.
All emotions have a positive intent that serves physical and social purposes.
Emotions protect you and help keep you safe. To feel that you are accepted,
appreciated, needed and cared for and that you belong. There is a close link
between emotional intelligence and creativity.
Instead of allowing them to inform and direct us, we allow them to overwhelm us
and drag us into the past or pull us into the future.
Sadness is an internalized expression of loss and helplessness. Trapped ina
downward spiral that can lead to depression.
Emotions are intended to be quick short messages that motivate you to respond
in a way that is helpful.
Start by accepting your emotions.
Acceptance does not mean you have to like whats happening.
Intuition. Listen to your body. Ignore distractions. Listening is an active
experience.
Our lives are made up of our thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
Notice the world around you. Vecome comfortable with the silence and stillness.
Quite your thoughts by returning to your senses.
Do one thing at a time. Single-task, dont multitask!
Prioritize. Work out whats important and let go of whats not.
Take your time. Make some space.
Flow refers to time spent doing something that keeps you focused and engaged.
It involves bringing your complete attention to the present experience. With flow
activities, your brain is fully occupied with one absorbing activity. A mind in a
state of flow is so engaged there is no room for undesirable thoughts. Sing and
dance. Creative interests. Games. Books and films. You become lost in the story.
All require a level of concentration. They keep you so absorbed that you cant
think outside the present.
There has to be balance between challenge and skills. With a beginnerss mind,
nothing can distract you.

Gratitude. Instead of appreciating what you already have, its easy to focus on
what you did not get and what you think you need. The moment we are content,
we have enough. The problem is that we think the other way round. That we will
be content only when we have enough.
Make a difference to someone elses life with an unexpected act of kindness.
Mindfulness has qualities such as patience and trust.
Feel inspired: Yes, I can do this!
Reminiscence about good times and look forward to upcoming events.
Acknowledging difficult and painful emotions can help to manage them.
Anger is a natural response to feeling wronged, offended, threatened or attacked
in some way.
Amygdala the emotional, instinctive part of your brain. This shuts down the neocortex, the thinking part of the brain.
Respond in an assertive way. Tense situation gets out of control. Using I avoids
blaming anyone, and the other person is less likely to feel attacked.
Treat the other person with the same attention and respect that you want from
them.
Acceptance occurs when you recognize that what has happened cannot be
changed.
Anger happens when the expectations and beliefs a person has about a situation
differs to what actually happens. Use your listening skills. Its easy to become
irrational and illogical because the anger has overwhelmed their rational mind.
Listen. Interrupting adds fuel to the fire. Respond calmly.
Hallmark of anxiety is worry. Allowing negative possibilities to dominate your
mind. Unrelenting doubts and fears can paralyze you.
When you get anxious thoughts and feelings, acknowledge them. Acceptance can
also help to cope with doubt and uncertainty if you tend to worry about things
you cannot solve easily. If you want to stop worrying, start by tackling your need
for certainty and immediate answers. Reduce uncretainty. Empty your head.
Focus on whats in your control. Worrying rarely leads to solutions. Focus on what
you can change, rather than aspects of the situation that are beyond your
control. The huge bag of worries. Talk things over with someone. Give yourself
worry time then move on.
Carrying guilt around is like hiking up a mountain, picking up rocks and throwing
them in your rucksack. Every time you think about what happened, you take a
rock out and hit yourself on the head with it. It pulls you down and stops you
moving forward. Guilt sucks up your good intentions, drains your energy and
causes stress and anxiety. The best possible use of guilt is to experience it,
accept what happened, learn from it, figure out what needs to be done and move
on. Guilt is a feeling. Accept responsibility for what happened. Accepting and
taking responsibility is not the same as blaming yourself. An act done with a
positive intention, especially without self-interest, is not a bad thing. Wishing
otherwise will not fix things.

Think about what you can learn from the situation. She has learnt to know what
her limits are not to overcommit herself. With a beginners mind you can learn
from your mistakes and start again.
Adopt a beginners mind. Recognize, accept and acknowledge negative emotions
rather than trying to suppress or battle with them. Use assertive techniques to
manage anger. Let go of your fears and worries. Give yourself worrytime and
then move on. Accept responsibility for your mistakes, and learn from them
rather than blaming yourself.
The key aspect of self-esteem and confidence is how it is influenced by your
thoughts, beliefs and ideas about yourself in the past and the future. Pride,
gratitude and relief. If your ideas and expectations about yourself in the future
are negative, anxious, worried, frightened or hopeless you may lack confidence
and have low self-esteem. Trust and optimism.
Result is often the same. Feeling sad, alone and disconnected from others.
Confidence is not about what you can or cannot do, it is what you think or believe
you can or cannot do. Self-esteem is how you feel about what you can and cannot
do. If your feelings about your abilities are positive, you probably have good selfesteem.
You can influence what happens from now on. Accept and learn from your
mistakes. Acceptance means recognizing that what has happened cannot be
changed.
Divorce, bereavement, illness, diability, discrimination and unemployment are
common causes of loneliness. It is possible to feel lonely in a crowd. Feelings of
being disconnected. You feel sad, alone and that no one understands. There is a
difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness is an unhappy
feeling of feeling detached, isolated and unconnected. If you are lonely, you are
feeling you are without friendly, meaningful companionship and support.
Successful personal relationships are the only key to happiness and feeling
connected. Instead of dwelling on feelings of loneliness, do something. Explore
activities and hobbies. Activities where you experience flow. Periods of time spent
alone, can be rewarding. Reach out to others with less of a need and more of an
ability to give. Make the most of opportunities for social contact. Do not go with
the sole idea of making friends or meeting people. Try to go with no expectations,
just see what happens.
Give more than you receive.
Spirituality is about having a sense of being connected to something bigger,
more eternal than yourself. Flow is an intrinsic aspect of spirituality. Something
that connects you to a purpose in life larger than yourself. Negative self-talk
makes things worse.
Focus on the positive aspects of life, on the things that make you feel good about
yourself.
You need clear aims and focus. You face barriers, pitfalls and setbacks, you need
something to keep you on track. Inner determination. Keep you feeling motivated
and encouraged. We got a limited amount of willpower.

You plan for the future but live in the present. Goal has a purpose that is
meaningful to you. Feel inspired. Emphasis is not on where you will arrive at, its
on what happens and what you experience along the way. See if you can focus
your energy and attention on the process, to achieve your goal, rather than the
goal itself.
Starting each goal with a positive statement. Set your goals on two levels. It can
be difficult to meet a long-term goal without first using a series of short-term
goals.
Have patience and trust. Understand that as you work towards your goal, things
will develop and unfold in their own time. Record your achievement. Remain
flexible. Your goals may change as time goes on. Recognize they were the right
decisions and actions then but not for now.
Manage setbacks. Dont get discouraged and give up. Know, that having goals
and working towards them is what separates those that do and those that only
wish they had!
Keep focused and achieve your intentions and goals. To do what you intend to do
even when you do not feel like doing it. We all have a limited amount of willpower
and it is easily used up. Pre-frontal cortex is largely responsible for your
willpower. Willpower can also be increased and strengthened. Self-control. Do one
thing at a time. Single-task, dont multi-task! Focus!
Make some space. Leave room between activities on your schedule.
Recognize unhelpful self-talk.
Aim to see things in new light. Set yourself up for success.
Urges always pass eventually.
Focus on the beliefs, not the difficulties.
Interactions with other people can be handled with confidence and sensitivity.
A mindful listener giving full attention. Mindful listening helps to build rapport and
empathy, to minimize misunderstandings and confusion. Its easy to be
distracted. Cornerstaone of mindful listening is reflective listening. Paraphrase.
Listen as if you were going to reflect back. Ask questions to clarify your
understanding. Non-verbal communication conveys a persons true feelings.
When youre criticized its hard not to react back immediately. A critisism gives
you an opportunity to practice mindful, reflective listening. Resist the urge to
interrupt or defend yourself. Give evidence, not excuses. Writing down how you
feel can really help. Do not counter attack. Focus solely on the other persons
grievance. Learn when to draw a line. Look for seeds of truth in criticism.
Criticism opens you up to new perspectives.
You cant please all the people all the time. Let people think whatever they want,
theyre going to do it anyway. Accept it. Then let it go.
Giving someone a criticism in a clear, calm and honest way is rarely easy. Build
resentment with all thats been unsaid. Exact problem for you. Decide what
change wou want to see. Be constructive.

Is it necessary? Is it kind? Is it true?

Give criticism in a calm and honest way. Consider the time and place. It may not
be appropriate whan there are other people around. Give criticism to the other
person directly, face to face. Show respect. Fovus on one problem at a time.
Dont bring up past misdemeanors. Focus on the action not the individual. Focus
on your specific concern and keep it brief. Do not accuse and judge. You
message label the other person in a negative way. Use I statements. Tell the
other person how you feel. Listen mindfully, do not interrupt. Let go and move on.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. It can be a
real struggle to accept what happened and forgive the other person. Forgiveness
means letting go of the resentment, frustration, anger. It involves no longer
wanting punishment, revenge or compensation.
Reach a point where you do want to put it all behind and move on with your life.
Be aware of how and what you feel. You want to protect yourself and take control.
Allow yourself to let go. Forgiveness allows you to free yourself. When you let go
of your need to punish the other person you can move forward. Accept what has
happened. Every time you think about it or retell the story to other people you
are back in the past. Forgiveness is for you and not the other person!
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill your enemy.
Learn from what happened and move on. Give yourself time to heal.
If you want to motivate othersraise their awareness with unusual requests.
Strange request provoke increased interest. Try a new approach. Keep it focused,
simplify your request and highlight how it will benefit them. Persuasion should
use suggestion not demand. Listen and acknowledge. People are far more willing
to cooperate if they feel acknowledged, understood and appreciated. Use positive
language. Know when to compromise.
Keep you grounded and centred, less pushed by whats going on around you. You
can develop a stronger self belief, you can be positive about your abilities.
Interview. Put past interviews behind you. Focus on this interview, now. Do your
research. Plan to relax. Breathe. Listen. Answer the question in a confident, firm
voice. Let go. Ask for feedback.
Public speaking. You need to believe that you can do it. Main message of your
talk. Never read from a script. Actively engage your audience. Get them to
participate. Ask if there are any questions, listen carefully. Drain everyones
energy. Open with a clear objective and keep it focused. Know, when to stop
someone. Listen carefully. Wrap up the meeting with clear action points.
Mindfulness isnt about getting somewhere. Open yourself to new ways of
thinking and doing. Be patient with yourself, it takes time and commitment.
Mindfulness becomes how you live your life.