1.

2 Is Chinese Parenting Culturally Distinct?

Thursday, September 3, 2 015

Issue Summary
Yes:

Amy Chua, author of The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, discusses strategies to
achieve success in childrearing, highlighting techniques of "Chinese" mothers. She
argues that raising successful children is less about bolstering their self-esteem and
more about instilling disciplined work habits and high standards, values that are
important to academic and life success.

No:

The "Tiger Mother" idea is just another example of the types of privileged parenting that
ultimately prioritize self-confidence , self-esteem and perpetuates differences more
dependent on class than on culture.

Introduction

Western parents emphasize unconditional love and boosting self-esteem to help

children develop into successful adults
Is attention and encouragement enough?
May set expectations too low
Types of parenting:
Authoritarian: strict rules and unquestioned authority
Authoritative: combination of some rules and some more democratic
responsiveness
Promoted
Challenging
Permissive: few demands and many indulgences
Uninvolved: low responsiveness and few demands
American emphasis on self-esteem as top priority for children
Not considered essential in many other cultures
American emphasis on individualism rather than appreciation for
collectivism
Chua claims most Western parents too easy on children
Hard-driving style identified as Chinese is better for children's success
Strict rules and discipline to achieve high grades
Should parents be strict or lenient?
Does self esteem matter?
How can self-esteem be produced?
Does parenting really determine whether or not people are successful?

Hard-driving style identified as Chinese is better for children's success

Strict rules and discipline to achieve high grades
Should parents be strict or lenient?
Does self esteem matter?
How can self-esteem be produced?
Does parenting really determine whether or not people are successful?

Yes: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

Even when Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come
close to being Chinese mothers
E.g. 30 min/day practicing piano vs. 3 hours/day
70% Western mothers said either "stressing academic success is not good for
children" or "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun" vs. 0% of Chinese
mothers feeling same way
Western kids more likely to participate in sports
Things are hardest in the beginning, Western parents give up
Nothing is fun until you're good at it
To get good you have to work
Once they get good they get praise
Builds confidence and makes it fun
Chinese parents order straight As meanwhile Western parents ask kids to try their
best
3 big differences between Chinese and Western parental mindsets
Western parents concerned about children's psyches; Chinese parents aren't
(assume strength, not fragility)
Western parents praise child for A-; Chinese parents ask what went
wrong
Western parents sometimes blame curriculum and teacher, Chinese
parents get practice tests and work until grade improves
Chinese parents assume child can get perfect grade then lavish with
praise when they do
Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything; Western
parents believe their duty is to their own kids
Chinese parents believe they know what is best for children and override all
children's own desires and preferences
Worst thing you can do for child's self-esteem is let them give up
Nothing better for building confidence than learning something you thought you
couldn't

No: The Social Value of Self-Esteem

The "Magic" of Self-Esteem

Building children's self-esteem cornerstone of contemporary American parenting

practices
Through personalized success
"Free range kids"

No: The Social Value of Self-Esteem

The "Magic" of Self-Esteem

Building children's self-esteem cornerstone of contemporary American parenting

practices
Through personalized success
"Free range kids"
Allowing children ample independence and opportunities to make mistakes
"Helicopter parenting"
Be present and intervene liberally
Argue kids need to succeed for own benefit
Success may be influenced by how good children believe they are
Compelling sociological evidence that we should pay more attention to emotions
as form of cultural capital

Class Reproduction Among the New Elites

Focus on emotional competency and self-esteem of childrearing philosophies of

today's elites
Makes sense for reproducing class advantages of privileged parents
Working class parents emphasize obedience
Middle-class parents emphasize independence and creativity

Professional Control

Parenting through discipline vs. parenting through control

Discipline ( previous strategy):
Develop inner compulsion to "do the right thing"
Control ( today's strategy):
Constant communication > enclosure and confinement
Shifting possibilities > clear rules
Intimacy > hierarchy
Denial surveillance is necessary because of trust > surveillance

Constant Communication and Shifting Possibilities

E.g. stay in touch by cell phone instead of having curfew

Case-by-case basis
Reflects parents' jobs
Flexible
Always in touch with employers and colleagues
Reward creative problem solving
Encourage workers to overcome obstacles by recreating existing guidelines

Intimacy and Trust

Emotional IQ increasingly a necessary skill

Again reflects parents' jobs
Emotional demands of growing number of jobs
Most professionals not subject to intense supervision like other workers
Precariousness of trust, once broken they're screwed ( i.e. usually
fired)

 Emotional IQ increasingly a necessary skill

Again reflects parents' jobs
Emotional demands of growing number of jobs
Most professionals not subject to intense supervision like other workers
Precariousness of trust, once broken they're screwed ( i.e. usually
fired)
Serve as basis for creative risk-taking often required for professional success in
today's world

An Ongoing Process With No Finished Product

Again reflects parents' jobs

Limits not clearly spelled out and bar always changing for highly
accomplished new elites at work
Careers ongoing and never complete
Education more targeted to standardized tests than joy of discovery
Higher and higher levels of education required for success
Sports and activities seen as resume-builders for college
College prerequisite for graduate degree or unpaid internship
Heavy emphasis on credentialing
More complicated to pass on "achieved" class advantages than heritable wealth

The Future of Emotional Styles

Self-esteem is vital measure of good parenting

New elite playing game that operates by different rules than ones their parents
taught them
Now rewarded for "thinking outside the box" instead of following clearly-defined
rules

Is There Common Ground?

Individual parenting styles shaped by many influences

Media, family environment, culture
Yes: importance of discipline and achievement above fun and comfort
No: importance of how people are positioned to compete in global economy
Both see parenting as meaningful beyond actual act of interacting with child