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TECHNIQUES OF
RAPPORT
Mini-Ebook on NLP and Rapport
He felt that everyone uses all four of these modes, but that, for example, a
person could be typed by his or her using predominantly thinking and
sensation, and using less intuition and feeling. In addition, Jung felt that a
person could be more introverted than extroverted, or vice versa.
One of the major uses Jung made of this model of human character was to
describe some differences in the way women and men are trained to behave
in society.
Women- trained to act on intuition and feeling.
Men- trained to act on thinking and sensation (using sensory data).
These differences can be very significant for both personal and business
relationships. Jung, as well as many other leading thinkers today, believed
that a person can become whole by learning to function in modes they are not
trained to. Again, having requiste variety and the range to cover all modes of
perception will help you establish rapport more easily.
The feeling mode is the one most people in our culture have most difficulty
understanding. This, no doubt, is a major reason why body and emotive
theories have become so popular in recent years. We want to get back in
touch with our bodies and feelings, and it seems we need the help of
professionals to do so. Perhaps the cause of this is that as children we were
often punished for expressing our feelings, especially when those feelings
went counter to the desires of our parents and other adult authority figures.
NLP and Advanced Rapport Techniques Copyright ISI-CNV Tel. 00393482213449
And for safetys sake, small children are often admonished to look but dont
touch.
The fact that different people process information in different modes is, of
course, critically important. Communication means different things to different
people. Couples go into counselling because of communication problems
arising from the differences over what communication means. In a typical
interview the counsellor would ask what the problem is -- the wife may say
that her husband doesnt listen to her whilst he may say she doesnt look at
him when he talks to her. Or either may feel that the others unfeeling or
uncaring because theyre not very affectionate or emotionally responsive.
When a mismatching of perceptual modes is involved in the problem, the
counsellor would first make the couple aware of whats going on, to point out
to them that each is asking something alien for the other. The next step might
be to get each person to learn to communicate in ways that are meaningful to
the other. In the case above, for example, the counsellor might encourage the
husband to pay more attention to what the wife is saying. The wife might be
advised to establish eye contact with her husband more frequently to show
him that shes paying attention to him.
NLP Basics:
Seeing Is Believing,
Hearing Is Believing, Feeling Is Believing
Each of us has, at any one time, a dominant or primary mode of perception.
Bandler and Grinder observed psychiatrist Erikson and therapists Satir and
Perl and referred to the three ways people generally process information as
representational systems. They describe the process this way ; When you
make initial contact with a person, they will probably be thinking in one of the
three main representational systems. Internally they will be generating visual,
images, having feelings, or talking to themselves and hearing sounds.