TheSocialandEmotionalNeeds

ofGiftedChildren:Implications
forFamilyCounseling
GwenL.Fornia
MarshaWigginsFrame
UniversityofColoradoinDenver

Theauthorsexaminethepsychosocial
dilemmasfacedbygiftedchildrenandtheir
familiesandprovidefamilycounseling
strategies.Definitionsandcharacteristicsof
giftednessaresummarized.Lifespanand
socialconstructionistframeworksareused
forworkingwithgiftedclients.

arentsofgiftedchildrenoften

considerthemselvesbothblessedand
cursed.Althoughgiftednessentailsmany
strengths,thereareavarietyofexternal
andinternalfactorsthatcontributeto
strugglesintheemotionalandsocial
experiencesofgiftedchildrenandtheir
families(Moon&Hall,1998).The
purposeofthisarticleistoprovidethe
informationneededtohelpfamily
counselorsbecomefamiliarwiththe
uniqueissuesofgiftedfamiliesandtooffer
themtechniquesforcounselingthese
clients.Therearemanywaysofformally
identifyingordefininggiftednessamong
childrenthatvaryfromstatetostateand
evenwithinschooldistricts.However,the
bodiesofliteraturedoseemtoagreeon
severalcommoncharacteristicsamong
thosewhoareidentifiedasgifted.
Therefore,inthisarticleweare
emphasizingthese

characteristicsanddescribethemin
detailbelow.
DEFINITIONOFGIFTEDNESS

Giftednessmeansdifferentthingsto
differentpeople.Attemptstodefine
giftednessbeganwithLewisTermanin
the1920s(Walker,1991;Winner,1996)
andhavebeenrevisedandbroadened
sincethenbymanyexpertsingifted
educationwhohavecontributedtoa
conceptualizationofgiftednessthat
includesandexpandsupontherather
narrowdefinitionofIQ.YetIQscoresor
otherstandardizedachievementor
aptitudescoresremaintheprevailing
factorinidentifyingchildrenforgifted
programs.
Thereareshortcomingsinusing
standardizedtestscoresasasolebasis
forrecognizinghighabilitiesinchildren.
PerinoandPerino(1981)described
intelligenceashaving

manyfactorsandheldthattheIQscoreisa
unitaryfactor.Apersonstestscoremaybe
affectedbyfactorsbesidesintelligence,
suchasdegreeofmotivationorstateof
health.AlthoughasuperiorrangeIQscore
remainsastrongindicatorofgiftedness,it
maybetoonarrowadefinition,andother
realmsofexceptionalityneedtobe
considered.Smutny,Walker,and
Meckstroth(1997)describedthechallenge
ofdeterminingwhatitmeanstobegifted.
Theyadvisedlookingforatypeanddegree
ofexceptionality.Theypointedtotheneed
forusingseveralsourcesfordefining
giftedness,includinga1972definitionof
giftednessprovidedbytheU.S.Officeof
Educationinapublicationknownasthe
Marlandreport(U.S.Departmentof
Health,Education,andWelfare,1972).

Thisdefinitionofgiftedandtalented
identifiesgiftedchildrenasthosewith
outstandingabilitiesinareasofintel
lectualpursuits,specificacademic
aptitudes,creativeorproductivethinking,
leadership,visualandperformingarts,and
psychomotorprocessing.Psychomotor
abilitywaslaterremovedfromthe
definition(Assouline,1997).

Smutnyetal.(1997)alsoreferredto
descriptionsofgiftednessgivenby
RobertSternberg,whoemphasizedhow
intelligenceisappliedtoreallife
situations,andtoGardner(1993)who
stressedmultipleintelligences.The
distinctcompetenciesproposedby
Gardnerincludelinguisticintelligence,
musicalintelligence,logical

mathematicalintelligence,visualspatial
intelligence,bodilykinesthetic
intelligence,interpersonalintelligence,
intrapersonalintelligence,andnaturalist
intelligence.
CHARACTERISTICSOF
GIFTEDCHILDREN
DabrowskisTheory
Dabrowski(1967)studiedintellectually
andartisticallygiftedchildren,providing
thefirstempiricalstudyofgifted
children.Recognizingthatcreative
individualstendtolivemoreintensely,
Dabrowskitooktheintensityoftheir

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emotions,theintensityandemotional
extremes,aspartandparcelof
psychophysicalmakeup(Piechowski,
1997,p.366).Thisintensitygeneratespain
andconflictforgiftedchildrenbutalso
givesthemanabilitytosearchforaway
outofit.Thisideaisthebasisfor
Dabrowskistheoryofpositivedisintegra
tion.Hepostulatedthatthegifted
individualsabilitytorecoverfromacrisis
canresultinahigherleveloffunctioning
ratherthanreturningtotheprevious
normalfunctioning(Dabrowski&
Piechowski,1977).Theabilitytomoveto
anew,higherleveldependsonthe
individualshavingwhatDabrowskiterms
overexcitabilities.Dabrowskiand
Piechowski(1977)highlightedthefive
formsofoverexcitabilities,summarized
hereas:
PsychomotorOverexcitability.Itmanifests
itself,forexample,inrapidtalk...intense
athleticactivities,restlessnessandactingout
onimpulse.
SensualOverexcitability.Inchildren,itmay
beseenasanincreasedneedfortouchingand
cuddlingortheneedtobethecenterof
attention.

ImaginationalOverexcitability.Itmanifests
itselfthroughassociationofimagesand
impressions,inventiveness,vividandoften
animatedvisualization...dreams,nightmares,
mixingoftruthandfiction,fearsofthe
unknown,etc.

IntellectualOverexcitability.Itismanifested
inthepersistencetoaskprobingquestions,
avidityforknowledge,analysis,theoretical
thinking,reverenceforlogic,preoccupation
withtheoreticalproblems.
EmotionalOverexcitability.Themanifestations
ofemotionaloverexcitabilityincludeinhibition
(timidityorshyness)...concernwithdeath...
fears,anxieties,depressions,feelingsof
loneliness...[and]concernforothers.(pp.30
36)

Theseoverexcitabilities,alsoknownas
intensities,thatcontributeto
individualspsychologicaldevelopment
inrelationtotheirstrength,standout
loudandclearingiftedchildren
(Piechowski,1997,p.367).Someofthe
internalcharacteristicsthatmayleadto
emotionaldifficulties,andareoften
mentionedintheliterature,includehigh
sensitivity,highintensity,andexistential
angst.
EmotionalSensitivity

Sensitivityisoneofthefirstandmost
oftencitedaspectsrelatedtogiftedness
thatdealswiththenoncognitiveoremo
tionalstatesofthechild(Aron,1996;
Lovecky,1993;Mendaglio,1995;Perino
&Perino,1981;Walker,1991;Webb,
Meckstroth&Tolan,1982).These
writersholdthatgiftedchildrentendto
besensitive,andareoftensupersensitive.
Giftedchildren,whosesensitivitylends
itselftoheightenedperceptiveness,are
alerttosmallchangesintheirenvi
ronment,andtheyareveryawareoftheir
ownuniquegifts.Thisperceptiveness
actuallycandiminishtheirselfesteem
becausetheyfocusonhowtheyare
differentfromtheirpeers(Walker,1991).
Becausetheyaremoreintunetocurrent
eventsandadultconversation,theymay
alsoendupwithanabundanceof
informationtoprocess.Their
perceptiveness

Fornia,Frame/COUNSELINGNEEDSOF
GIFTEDCHILDREN385

maycauseangstorgivethemworries
that,aschildren,theymaynotbeableto
manageadequately.
Also,giftedchildrenspassionforjustice
andtruthmakesthemespeciallyawareof
hypocrisy.Theycannotfathomwhy
injusticeoccursorwhytheirparentsdont
protectthemfromit.Insomecases,this
awarenessofhypocrisymakeschildren
anxious,andtheymayexhibitwhatis
consideredtobeimmaturebehavior
becauseitfeelssafetothem.

Intensity
Intensityreferstothedepthoffeelingand
behavior.Again,Dabrowskiprovided
empiricalworktoexplaintheseintensities
asoverexcitabilities.Thedegreeof
emotionalintensityisastableindividual
characteristicandquiteindependentof
whatactuallyevokedtheemotion
(Piechowski,1997,p.62).
Whileexaminingtheintellectual,creative,
emotional,orbehavioralaspectsofgifted
children,itistheintensityofthe
characteristicthatisnotable.Forexample,
whereasanormallyempathicchildmay
frownwhensheseessomeonehurt,an
emotionallygiftedchildmaybeontheverge
oftearsforhours,orevendays,thinking
abouthowunjusttheworldisforlettinghurt
exist.Theincreasedintensityingifted
childrenhelpstoexplainwhystronger
emotionsandreactionssuchasdepression
(vs.sadness)andoutbursts(vs.milddismay)
mayoccur.

PerfectionismandUnderachievement
Intensityofthoughtandfeelingscanlead
toperfectionism,whichgenerallyis
acceptedasoneofthemostcommonissues
forgiftedchildren.Ironically,gifted
childrenareawareofwhatispossible
(perfection)andmayfeeldefeatedbefore
theyattemptatask.Definedasthefeeling
thatoneseffortsareneverenough,
negativeperfectionismcanleadtopsycho
logicaldisorders(Orange,1997).
Perfectionismcanalsoleadto
underachievement,whichisbestdefined
bythegiftedchildsfailuretoperformata

levelequaltohisorhermeasuredpotential
(Baker,Bridger,&Evans,1998).Gifted
underachieversmayknowthattheyare
intelligent,buttheydonotfeelcapableof
livinguptotheirgiftedlabel.Theirlow
selfesteemmayleadthemtoavoidcertain
tasksorrebelagainstthosewhorequire
thatthetasksbedone(Rimm,1997).
Underachievementinschoolcanleadto
powerstruggleswithinthefamily.
Onegroupthatisatriskfor
underachievement(andthatmakesupthe
mostcommonbehaviorallydisordered

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groupamonggiftedchildren)isthegroup
ofchildrenwhohaveattention
deficit/hyperactivitydisorder(AD/HD)
(Moon&Hall,1998).TheDiagnosticand
StatisticalManualofMentalDisorders,
4thedition(DSMIV)(American
PsychologicalAssociation,1994)lists18
criteriaforAD/HDinareasof
hyperactivity,impulsivity,andinattention.
Atleast12ofthesecriterianeedtobe
presentforachildtobediagnosedas
AD/HD,theonsetmustbebeforeage7,
andtheymustbepresentforatleast6
months.

Althoughgiftednessentailsmanystrengths,thereareavarietyof
externalandinternalfactorsthatcontributetostrugglesinthe
emotionalandsocialexperiencesofgiftedchildrenandtheir
families(Moon&Hall,1998).
386THEFAMILYJOURNAL:COUNSELINGANDTHERAPYFORCOUPLESANDFAMILIES/October2001

Manyofthesebehaviorsmightalsobefound
ingiftedchildren.Whatmayappeartobean
inabilitytosustainattentioncouldlikelybe
boredomwithroutinetasks,especiallyifthey
seemirrelevant.Highactivitylevelmay
appeartobehyperactivity.Likewise,
questioningofrulesmayseemtosometobe
rudeorofftask.Thereisagreatpotentialfor
misidentificationinbothAD/HDand
giftedness(Webb&Latimer,1997).

GiftedchildrenwhohaveAD/HDorare
otherwiselearningdisabled(twiceexcep
tional)haveveryuniqueconcernsinthat
theymaybeexceptionallybrightbutnot
abletoexpresswhattheyknow.Thisexpe
riencecancreateafeelingofdysfunctionor
asynchronyinchildrenwhomayotherwise
shineiftheycouldexpresstheirtalents
moreeffectively.

reconciletheirownintensityandadvanced
awarenesswiththeknowledgeofothers.
Withsomanypeoplearoundthemnot
questioningwhythingsworkthewaythey
do,withthesameintensityastheydo,
giftedchildrenmaybegintofeelisolated
andselfdoubting,whichmayleadto
withdrawal(Tolan,1998).
WithDabrowskistheoryasaframework,itis
clearerwhythecharacteristicspresentedhere
areparticularlyrelevantinadiscussionof
giftedchildren.Thetheoryprovidesan
explanationofwhygiftedindividualsmay
exhibitcertainsocialandemotional
expressionsthatarenotunderstoodbythe
popula

tionatlargeandmaycreateconflicts.They
alsohaveuniquestrengthsandcompensa
tionskillsthatmightenablethemtoover
comethesedifficulties.

Asynchrony
AccordingtotheColumbusGroup(1991),
giftednessisasynchronousdevelopmentin
thatadvancedcognitiveabilitiesand
intensitiescombinetocreateinnerexperiences
thatdifferfromthenorm.Thisasynchrony
increaseswithincreasedintellectualcapacity
andrendersgiftedchildrenmorevulnerableto
feelingoutofsyncwithothers(Silverman,
1993a).
Lackofsynchronicitymayalsoincreaseinner
tensionbecausethechildsadvancedabilities
inonearea(e.g.,cognitive)arenotmatchedin
anotherarea(e.g.,physical).Giftedchildren
mayfeelparticularlyvulnerable,also,
becauseattimestheymay

seememotionallyadvancedandatother
timestheymayseememotionallyimmature
(Silverman,1993a).Thepsychicconflictin
selfdefinitionthatcanresultfromthis
unevendevelopmentmayleadgifted
childrentogiveuponthemselves(Tolan,
1998).
Anotherwayinwhichasynchronyisfeltby
giftedchildrenisintheirattemptsto

Whengiftedchildrenarenotsupportedfor
theirdifferencesandtheirstrengthsarenot
emphasized,thereisariskforanumberof
problems,includingdepression.Virtuallyall
giftedchildrenexperienceatleastoneperiod
ofexistentialdepressionthatmayarisefrom
impossiblyhighstandards,feelingsof
alienation,orproblemsofhumanexistence
thatmayweighontheirmindsmoreintensely
thanonothers(Webbetal.,1982).

FAMILYISSUES
Thereislittleliteratureavailableregarding
classicfamilyconceptsandtheirrolewith
familiesofthegifted.Onesuchconceptisthe
familylifecycle.Familieswithyoung
childrengothroughoneofthemostdefinitive
stagesoflife.Marriages,whichmayhave
beenmoreequalpriortochildrearing,must
readjusttodemandsoftimeandfinancialand
emotionalconstraints,oftencausingpower
imbalances(Carter&McGoldrick,1999).
Parentsofyoungchildrenoftenbecome
passionateaboutdisciplineandprotection,
doingthingsforthesakeoftheirchildrenthat
theywouldnotdoforthemselves.Thenext
periodofmajorreadjustmentinthefamilyis

duringthestageofadolescence.Thisisatime
whenparentsbeginpreparingtheirchildren
fortheoutsideworldbyincreasingflexibility
offamilyboundaries(Carter&McGoldrick,
1999).Familiesofgiftedchildrenmayhavean
outofsyncexpe
riencewithwhatisthenorm.Becauseof
aforementionedlevelsofintensitiesand
development,forexample,itmaybedifficult
todiscernbetweenchangeableintensemoods
ofadolescenceandoverexcitabilities
characteristicofmostgiftedchildren.Parents
ofprecociouslyindependentgiftedchildren

mayneedtoworkmorepersistentlyat
maintainingdisciplineandparentalboundaries
duringtheyoungeryears.
Howandwhenafamilydealswithunexpected
changesinthecycleisimportant,asisthe
structureandfunctionalityofthefamily
(Minuchin,1974).Basedonthecharacteristics
ofgiftedchildren,itisplausibletoassumethat
thereisaneedforspecialattentiontofamily
issuesofgiftedchildren.Unfortunately,
familytherapistsoftenarenottrainedor
educatedaboutthestrugglesassociatedwith
giftedness,andthereislittleresearch
conductedtodeterminetheeffectivenessof
fam

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ilytherapywithgiftedpopulations(Moon&
Hall,1998).Empiricalresearchisneededin
thisarea.
FamilyFunctioningandStructure
Familieswithgiftedchildrenhaveauniqueset
ofendogenousandexogenousconcerns
stemmingfromtheaforementionedtraits.
Pressurefromoutsidesources,suchasneigh
borsortheschoolsystem,createsinternal
dilemmasforthechildthat,inturn,directly
affectfamilyfunctioningandstructure.Our
caseexampleillustrateshowtheseexternal
andinternalforcesmayinteractwitheach
other.

Also,becauseparentsandsiblingsofgifted
childrenarealmostalwaysgifted
themselves(Silverman,1997),examining
howgiftednesshasaffectedtheirownlives
isanimportantcomponentinbalancing
familyissues.Thus,transgenerational
issues(Bowen,1978)mayneedtobe
consideredregardingfamilyinteractional
patternsandhowotherfamilymembers
havemettheseuniquechallenges.
Healthyfamilyrelationshipsandparentchild
interactionsarethemostimportantfactorsin
thedevelopmentofgiftedchildren(May,
1994).Atthesametime,giftednessitselfmay
beastressorthatinfluencesandisinfluenced
bythefamily(May).Itisimportant,then,to
recognizetheissuesofgiftednessthatare
causedbyandhaveanimpactonthefamily.

FamilyThemes

Thereareseveralthemesthatarisefor
familiesofgiftedchildren.Theyincludebut
arenotlimitedtoissuesoftrust,isolationor
alienation,reactionsfromothers,andloss.
Recognizingandaddressingtheseissues
shouldbeapartofthecounselingprocess.
Theissueoftrustiscentralforfamilieswith
giftedchildren.Raisingagiftedchildoften
requiresthatafamilyenterrealmsthatmay
notaffectotherfamilies.Cooperationwith
othersystems,suchasschoolandgifted
programs,areessentialinmeetingthe
needsofthegifted.AccordingtoBennett
(1999),becauseoftheuniqueaspectsof
meetingtheneedsofgiftedchildren,parents
mustlearntotrustpeopleatseverallevels.
Inthebeginning,parentsmustask,Dowe
trustourownassessmentofourchilds
abilities?andmoveontoquestionsoftrust
regardingtheoutsideassessmentsthatare
designedtotestgiftedness.After
identification,thereisstillthequestionof
trustwiththeschoolandwiththeidentified
childastowhetherhisorherneedswillbe
met(Bennett,1999).
Thegiftedcanbeseenasmisfitsina
societythatvaluesconformity.Gifted
childrenarenotaverage,andoftentheydo
notconformtosocietysideals.This
differencemaycreatesocialproblems,
particularlyatschool(VanTasselBaska,
1990)butalsowiththepublicatlarge
(Walker,1991).Adolescencemaybea
timewhenpressuretoconformisparticu
larlyproblematic,especiallyforgifted
adolescentswhoaredifferentinmanyways
fromtheircontemporaries(Perino&Perino,
1981).

Fornia,Frame/COUNSELINGNEEDSOFGIFTED
CHILDREN387

Alongwithconformity,oursocietyvalues
equality.Americansalsohavesupportedthe
notionofexcellenceandtheencouragementof
individualstoreachtheirfullpotential.These
idealscanbeseenascontradictory,andforthe
gifted,theycancauseconfusion.Ingeneral,
thepublichasnotbeensupportiveofgifted
andtalentedprograms(Walker,1991).Infact,
programstomeetthespecializedneedsof
giftedchildrenoftenareerroneouslyperceived
aselitist.Thesamechargerarelyismadeof
programstomeettheneedsofchildrenwho
arelearningdisabledorwhohaveother
specializedneeds.Thislackofsupportfrom
societycanmakegiftedchildrenandtheir
familiesfeelisolated(Silverman,1993b).
Individualcharacteristicsofgiftedchildren
mayalsohaveanimpactonthewayothers
respondtothem.Theirintensity,sensitivity,
andspecialquirksoftenevokestrong
emotionsfromotherswhofeeltheneedtoput
giftedchildrenintheirplaceorpushthem
downanotch(Webbetal.,1982).Some
times,adultswhoarethreatenedbybeing
correctedorquestionedbyachildmay
criticizeachildopenlybylabelinggifted
characteristicsnegatively.Childrenwithtraits
suchaspersistenceandhighenergy,for
example,maybemislabeledasstubbornor
hyperactive.Byturninganassetintoa
liability,somepeopleunwittinglyturnmajor
strengthsofgiftedchildrenagainstthem,
causingstress,withdrawal,andpoor
adjustment.Ifreframed,thesequalitiescould
beconsideredactivedisplaysofstrengthand
exceptionaladjustment(Webbetal.,1982).

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Lackofsupportfromthecommunityand
misunderstandingsaboutthecharacteristics
ofgiftednesscanmakeparentsfeel
overwhelmedwithissueswithwhichother
familiesdonothavetodeal.Infact,oncea
childisidentifiedasgifted,thefamilybegins
ajourneyofmourningthelossofanormal
childwhoseneedscaneasilybemet
(Silverman,1997).

CASEEXAMPLE
Scottshowedsignsofgiftednessattheageof
3.Hetaughthimselfhowtoreadandwas
interestedinrelationshipsbetweennumbers.
Hisparentsandhisbrotherenjoyedhis
precociousnessandencouragedhimtolearn
throughgames.Hedidnotshowsignsof
stressuntilheenteredkindergarten,whenhe
waslabeledimmaturebecauseofcrying
spells,whichoccurredafterheaskedhis
teacheraquestionandshetoldhimtobequiet
andfinishhiscoloring.Alongwithbeing
labeledimmature,Scottexperiencedsocial
difficultiesbecauseofalackofmotor
coordinationthataffectedhiswritingskills
andhisabilitytoplaysportsinwhichother
childrenexcelled.Scottbecameincreasingly
frustratedwithschooltosuchapointthatby
secondgradehehadstoppedcompleting
assignmentsandwaswithdrawingsocially
fromhispeers.
Notallchildrenwhoaregiftedareaffectedby
theirgiftednessinthesameway.Scotts
brother,Ryan,whowasalsoacademically
giftedbutwasmoresociallyadept,became
frustratedwithandembarrassedbyhis
youngerbrother,who

388THEFAMILYJOURNAL:COUNSELINGANDTHERAPYFORCOUPLESANDFAMILIES/October2001

wasbecomingasocialoutcast.Thewhole
familywasaffectedbyScottsoutburstsand
seeminglyimmaturereactionsanddecided
toseekhelp.Independenttestingafterthird
graderevealedthatScotthadanIQof160
andneededmuchmoreacademic
stimulation.Schoolpersonnelhadnottested
Scottpreviouslybecausehispoor
handwritingandemotionalimmaturityhad
maskedhisgiftedness.AfterScottsparents
enrolledhiminaschoolforgiftedchildren,
manyoftheacademicproblemswere
resolvedbuttheywerefacedwithanewset
ofconcerns.
AlthoughScottbegantolikeschoolmoreand
waseasiertogetalongwithathome,hehad
developedapatternofwithdrawalfromother
childrenthatwasdifficulttochange,even
amongothergiftedchildren.Therestofthe
familyalsofeltisolationfromtheir
communitybecauseofthemisunderstandings
oftheirneighbors.Communitymemberswere
proudoftheirschoolanddidnotunderstand
Scottsuniqueneedtobearoundlikeminded
peersinanotherschoolsetting.

FamilyCounselingInterventions
EarlyIntervention/PreventiveCounseling
Withpreventiveratherthanremedial
interventions,counselorscouldplan
developmentalcounselingprogramsto
facilitatetheemotionalwellbeingofchildren
andtheirfamiliesbeforeacrisisoccurs
(Silverman,1993b).Oneobstaclethatmustbe
overcomeinmeetingthecounselingneedsof
thegiftedisthefailureofprofessionalsinthe
counselingfieldtoacknowledgetheirneeds
(Alsop,1997).Astrongereffortineducating
counselorsaboutthesespecialconcernsis
needed.
Becauseoftheearlydevelopmentofcognitive
andadaptiveskillsofgiftedchildren,itis
importantthatcounselorsrecognizegiftedness
earlyoninchildrensdevelopment.The
familycanrallyaroundScottandbecome
morecohesiveratherthanincreasingfamily
tensionbyblamingtheirstrugglesonhis
developmentaldifferences.InScottscase,he
developedanadaptivecopingskillthatledto
isolation.Whenhetalkedaboutsubjectsthat
werenotunderstoodyetbyhispeers,they
laughedathim.Hefounditeasiertokeephis
thoughtstohimself,beginningapatternof
socialwithdrawal.Ifheandhisfamilycould

havebeentaughtmoreopencommunication
andadequatecopingskillsandhadunderstood
thenatureofhisgiftednesswhenhewasfirst
identified,itispossiblethatthecyclecould
havebeeninterrupted.

Thefamilyneedstoseeitselfdifferently
fromthenorm.Theyhavetheirown
constructionofwhotheyare.Earlyinter
ventionthattakesgiftednessintoaccount
willallowthefamilytothriveinawaythat
isrelevantforthem,ifnotnecessarily
relevantforthemajorityoffamilies.
SocialConstructionistModel
Ecosystemiccounselingtakesinto
considerationtheexternalsystemssuchas
school,peerrelationships,andneighborhood
ofthefamily(Moon&Hall,1998).Thesesys

temsareespeciallyimportantbecauseofthe
tremendousimpacttheyhaveongifted
childrenandtheirfamilies.Itisthrough
thesesystemsthatlifescriptsaredeveloped
forthechild.
Postmodernsocialconstructionisttheoryis
basedonsecondordercybernetics,which
placesthetherapistsinapostureofanot
knowerwhowillusetheclientsrealityasthe
basisforchange(Atwood,1997).Thereisno
setofabsoluterulesthatgovernswhatis
normalforthefamily.Thecounselorand
familyworktogethertoexaminescriptsthat
overlapwithinthefamilyandtouncover
hiddenscriptsthatmaybeusefulin
reconstructingthefamilysrealityinaway
thatbenefitsallfamilymembers.Atwood
(1997)describedthestepsthatcounselors
mighttakewhenworkingwithinasocialcon
structionistframework.Thosestepsandtheir
applicationtoScottandhisfamilyareoutlined
here:

Joinwiththeclientsmeaningsystem.The
counselorshouldbeginbyadoptingastance
asanonexpert,readytolearnfromScott
andhisfamily.Thisgoalcanbeaccom
plishedbyprovidingasafeenvironmentand
listeningcarefullytothestoriesofeach
familymember.Additionally,an
understandingoftheuniquedevelopmentof
giftedchildrenandtheirfamiliesiscrucial.
Ifthefamilystoriesincludeinformation
thatiscongruentwithgifteddevelopment,
thisfactcanbevalidatedandnormalizedfor
thefamily.Suchinformationmightinclude
examplesofhighintensityorasynchronous

development,whichmayseemtobea
conflictforthefamilyunlessitis
normalizedasbeingtypicalforfamiliesof
giftedchildren.
Explorethepastandhowithascontributedto
thecurrentmeaningsystem.Exploringthe
pastwillrevealScottssystemofviewing
himselfasseparatefromhispeersandhis
familysfrustrationovernotbeingabletoget
allofhisneedsmetinthecurrenteducational
system.Thepatternofcommunication
betweenScott,hisparents,andhisbrother
alsowillhavebeenaffected,asrevealed
throughtheirinterviews.Currentscriptsand
familylanguagealsowillbeevident,aswill
pastcopingskillsthathavebeeneffectivein
areasotherthanjustproblemareas.Atthis
stage,acounselorcouldengagefamilymem

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withdrawaldidnotexist.Thislineof
questioningwillhelpthefamilyexplorethe
processofdevelopingcopingmechanisms
thattheycanalsoapplytoothersituations.
Anotherexampleinvolvestheparentsfear
ofseemingpushybyconfrontingeducators.
Byaskingtheparentswhatthepayoffsare
forriskingconfrontation,theymaybe
betterabletoreframetheirfeelingsof
pushinessasaconstructivewayofmeeting
Scottsspecialneeds.
Amplifyandstabilizethenewmeaning
system.Ryancouldcreateanewmeaning
systembyreframinghisbrothersangeras
hisfrustrationovernotbeingunderstood
andcouldthendevelopanewwayof
respondingthatwouldnotexacerbate
Scottsanger.ByaskingRyanhowheis
goingtocarrythatsametypeofadaptation
intonewsituations,thecounselorhopesfor
secondorderchangeinwhichRyanapplies
thisbehaviortonewcircumstancesrather
thanjustchangingitthisonce.
Onesuggestionforcreatinganewmeaning
systemforthefamilyistodevelopamore
supportivesocialnetworkwithlikeminded
people.Scottandhisfamilymightjoinan
organizationsuchasSupportingthe
EmotionalNeedsoftheGiftedtocontinue
feelingempoweredandsupportedbylike
mindedpeople.

bersinadialogueofwhatgiftednesshascome
tomeantothem.Familiescanthenbehelped
torewritetheirfamilyscripts(White,1989).
Putthepastinperspective.Reframingor
lettinggoofpastscriptscanbefacilitatedby
educatingthefamilymembersabout
giftednessandofferingsuggestionsaboutwhy
othersmightrespondinnegativeways.
Focusingthefamilysenergytowardcreating
newgoalsbasedontheirownrealitywillalso
helpinputtingthepastintoperspective.
Inviteclientstoexpandmeaningsystems
throughreflectiveinfluencequestioning.In
Scottscase,thefamilyreferredtohissystem
ofcopingaswithdrawal.Usingthefamilys
language,thecounselormightaskabout
situationsinwhich

Counselorscancontinuetobeenlistedas
advocates,whenneeded.InScottscase,he
mayneedaprofessionalcounselortomeet
withschoolstaffmemberstodevelopan
individualizedlearningplantoaddresshis
specialneeds.
Thismodelcanbeusedtoexploreanyof
theindividualorfamilyissuesthatmaybe
ofconcerntoScottsfamilyorotherslike
them.Itisaflexibleandnonjudgmental
therapythatdoesnotforcefamiliesinto
coercivenormswithwhichgiftedchildren
andfamiliesoftencontend.
CONCLUSION
Toworktherapeuticallywithgiftedchildren
andtheirfamiliesitisimportantfirstto
recognizetheuniqueattributesofthegifted.
Thesecharacteristicsincludeahighlevelof
intensity,sensitivity,andmoralconcernthat
makesthemuniqueindevelopmentand
expressionofemotionandmaycreatealevel
ofasynchronythatiscommonamonggifted
children.
Workingwithinagifteddevelopmentalmodel
andasocialconstructionistmodel,the
counselorwillbeknowledgeableaboutthe
socialimpactofbeinggiftedwhilealso
allowingthefamilysrealitytodictatehow
theywillorwillnotrespondtogivensocial
pressures.Thisapproachallowsthecounselor
tohelpthefamilyconstructanewrealitythat
willlessenthedifficultieswithoutdirecting
themtofitintosocietalnormsthatcastthem
asoutsiders.Multiplefamilygroupscanalso

helptoreducesocialisolationandunderlying
concernsbyprovidingsupportandeducation.
Familycounselorsasadvocateswillhelpdraw
insupportthatcanhelptoformamore
positiveinteractionbetweenfamilyand
community.

Fornia,Frame/COUNSELINGNEEDSOFGIFTED
CHILDREN389

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GwenL.Fornia,M.A.,isanationalcertified
counselorworkinginprivatepracticeinDenver,
CO.Herprimaryfocusisworkingwithgifted
childrenandtheirfamilies.
MarshaWigginsFrame,Ph.D.,isassociate
professorofcounselingpsychologyand
counseloreducationattheUniversityof
ColoradoatDenver.

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