Contents

Five Points has been designated a city park -- just for the 24 hours of St. Patrick’s Day
March 11, 2010 VOLUME 5 Issue 13
p. 6
Editor-In-Chief Todd Morehead
todd@columbiacitypaper.com

ARTS EDITOR Judit Trunkos

jtrunkos@columbiacitypaper.com

News.Politics.Commentary. colatheater.com
S.M. Baleem, Garrett Kellerhals
regional briefs running from police in a go-cart 3 Design
Local news Transparency in Cayce 4 Lindsey Downen
Letters to the reader Dear grandma 4
system of injustice don’t excercise Your constitutional rights 5 Music
Editorial on st. Patricks Festival Can we drink beer at walgreens? 7 Kingsley Waring, Max E. Pad
Statehouse report legislators need more issues training 14
The right’s woodstock The Conservative Political Action Committee 15 Pg. 8 Publisher
Paul Blake
paul@columbiacitypaper.com

Arts.Entertainment.Etc. Account Executives

John Gibson, James Wallace
st. pat’s in five points guide: map and band listing 8 Contributors
Bacardi soundboard punk/indie/emo/ska/hardcore/metal/rock 11 S.M. Baleem, Andy Brack, Garrett Kellerhals, Ismail
Vocal booth hip-hop review and events 15 Lagardien, WR Marshall, Will Moredock, Ted Rall,
Ask a Mexican Taco Bell edition 14 Dan Savage, Kingsley Waring, Baynard Woods
Arts USC’s 54th Annual Student Art Exhibition 17
savage love dude on the airplane 18 Columbia City Paper
jonesin crosswords Quote of the issue: 18 2965 North Main Street
Sudoku, Derf, and Red Meat “Debbie, it’s time to get out your red pen!” 19 Pg. 15 Columbia, SC 29201
803.218.9455 (dial area code)

Advertisers in Columbia City Paper assume responsibility for the entire content of the advertisements. The first copy of Columbia City Paper is free. Additional copies
are $1 and two-bits each. Views expressed do not necessarily represent the opinions of Columbia City Paper or its publisher. (C) Columbia City Paper, LLC
 AIKEN
Area raccoons acting odd
A City of Aiken Animal Control officer says four
incidents of “strange” raccoon activity were reported in one
week.
According to the Aiken Standard, the most recent
incident involved a raccoon fighting with a homeowner’s
dogs. Another incident involving dogs and a separate
raccoon occurred a few days prior. Experts are particularly
concerned that three of the four incidents occurred during
daylight hours, as raccoons are normally nocturnal. One of
the animals tested negative for rabies. Tests on the others are
pending.
Aiken veterinarian Charlie Timmerman told the Standard
that the raccoons could have distemper. He also said that
some raccoons become intoxicated on fermented berries.
The only raccoon captured during the night was acting
erratic near a Wal-Mart.
Motorists on I-20 report objects thrown from
overpass
Aiken County Sheriff’s deputies are investigating mul-
tiple claims of highway vandalism reported by victims who
say someone threw objects at their cars.
Authorities are looking into five incidents that occurred
on roadways near Graniteville. In separate incidents, two
motorists reported that objects had been dropped on their
vehicles from an overpass on I-20 near mile marker 11.
Paint was thrown on a vehicle during another incident. Two
other motorists reported shattered windshields due to objects
being thrown at their cars on a road near Graniteville.
No injuries have been reported so far and no suspects
have been named.
“In separate incidents, two motorists reported
that objects had been dropped on their vehicles
from an overpass on I-20 near mile marker 11.”
CHARLESTON
Fourth grader accused of poising teacher
A Colleton County girl is accused of attempting to poison
her teacher with crushed prescription pills after the teacher
switched her to a different class.
Authorities said the 10-year-old Hendersonville
Elementary student placed the crushed pills and possibly
other poisons in her teacher’s drink. The teacher, Laura Tew,
reportedly began to feel ill, but worked through the rest of
the day. When her symptoms worsened she was forced to SUMTER
call in sick. The principal learned that a student had bragged
that she had “taken care” of Tew, according to authorities. Intoxicated cop accused of pulling his pistol at Shoney’s
The girl has not been formally charged, but prosecutors A Lee County sheriff’s deputy has been charged with
may take the matter before a judge. She could be charged
with either a felony count of administering or attempting
to administer poison or a felony count of tampering with
products or food items. However, state law prohibits the
state from incarcerating a child younger than 11.
FORT MILL
Man beaten over choice of alcoholic beverage
A Fort Mill man has been charged with assault after he
allegedly punched a man who bought the wrong type of
alcohol for a party.
According to York County authorities, two men left a
party on Fossil Stone Lane to purchase booze for the group.
When they returned, an altercation ensued over the kind
of alcohol purchased. The individual responsible for the
purchase was then beaten by one of the dissatisfied drinkers.
GREENVILLE
Argument over parking spot ends tragically
Investigators say an employee at a Gray Court car lot
killed his coworker in an altercation over a parking spot.
According to multiple media reports, Randy Lyn Fuller, pointing a gun at employees of a Hartsville area Shoney’s
50, was angered by a car that had been parked in front of before driving away drunk, according to a report in the
another vehicle that was about to be shipped from Classic Sumter Item.
Cars of South Carolina. Fuller and another employee argued A spokesman for the Lee County sheriff’s office said
over the parking arrangement and Fuller reportedly died Sgt. James Reddick, 55, will be terminated. According to the
during the ensuing altercation. No evidence of stabbing or report, Reddick was intoxicated at Shoney’s and pulled his
other wounds were found. Authorities have not yet filed handgun on employees. About 20 people were reportedly in
charges in the case and are investigating a claim that Fuller’s the restaurant. He was later stopped by Hartsville police for
coworker was acting in self- driving erratically.
defense.
UNION
ROCK HILL
Drunken man tries to evade police in go-cart
Inmate accused of Police cruisers didn’t have to work too hard to catch up
exposing himself to guard to a man suspected of stealing a go-cart.
An inmate in the York Authorities arrested Edward Sweezy, 29, at an intersection
County jail faces additional charges after a female guard said in Union after spotting him in a go-cart, turning on their
he attempted to masturbate in front of her. lights and sirens, and pulling him over. Sweezy reportedly
According to a report filed by the York County Sheriff’s became agitated during questioning and later struggled after
Office, a 22-year-old inmate told a female officer that he police found a crack pipe and a bottle of pills. The police
had a question about a form he needed to fill out. When turned the go-cart over to Sweezy’s wife.
she approached, she said he exposed himself and began to
masturbate as she neared. The officer turned and walked
away and the inmate apologized.
March 11,, 2010 3
 Letters to the Reader
Dear Facebook paparazzi,
Remember the early days of cell
phone cameras? It was a simple time,
when, at most, young coeds would cluster
together, lips pooched, and take head-
shots of themselves at Art Bar for gaudy
MySpace slideshows. Maybe added some
animated glitter and a Maroon 5 song for
kicks. Folks generally kept to themselves
in them days. Folks was content.
Nowadays, these newfangled
Facebookers and Tweeters have turned
their digital lenses outward and introduced
a new Wild West of cell phone photogra-
phy. These days a fella will post a photo of
his buddy in a dress without even explain-
ing that it was a joke at a surprise party.
And if a respectable young lady is visible
in the background at said party passed out
on a dog bed in her skivvies, folks think
nothing of tagging her in the photo to alert
her 480 friends and coworkers.
Something has to give here. This cen-
ter cannot hold.
Columbia City Paper
Dear S.C. Legislators,
This is yet another letter to you guys
sincerely asking that you pull yourselves
together up there. State workers are
entering another year of furloughs due
to budget cuts, education spending has
been slashed and burned, among a slew
of other financial woes befalling our state.
Yet, some of you are proposing to lend
$10 million to a Hilton Head PGA golf
tournament because Verizon pulled out as
a sponsor? The proposal was apparently
tucked into the state’s spending budget.
Rep. Brian White of Anderson –who
also wants to erect a statue memorializing
aborted fetuses on the State House
grounds—recently defended the proposal
in a newspaper report, claiming the tax
4 March 11,, 2010
revenue the tournament would generate
makes up for the investment. And, maybe it
would. But, why not just invest that money
in small businesses, who could also turn
that investment into profit for the state?
Sure, Hilton Head hotels, restaurants, call
girls, and coke dealers would suffer, but
times are tough for everyone.
Columbia City Paper
Dear grandma,
The flannel shirts for Christmas
and $15 checks for my birthday have
been great every single year for the past
20-something odd years. I’m not com-
plaining. But, a grandmother in Wisconsin
recently camped for 43 hours so her
grandson would be first in line at a new
ice cream shop. According to one report,
she had planned to spend the night in her
car, but locked her keys in it, so she had to
sleep in a public restroom. Now, I’m not
saying I don’t appreciate your brownies
(though lately I can tell they’re not home-
made), but I’m just wondering how deep
your commitment to me really goes.
You know, stores will be releasing the
new Apple iPad next month. Maybe we
should take this opportunity to reevaluate
our relationship. ...I’m just sayin.’
Columbia City Paper
Dear municipal election commission,
So, we have a convicted felon running
for city council and a mayoral candidate
who was recently removed from the bal-
lot stemming from a felony conviction in
1994 –and both in the same election? And
all this time I thought the felonies came
after a candidate takes office.
Columbia City Paper
 Columbia’s system of
injustice rears its ugly head
and shows officers getting formal request for the trial transcript.  
physical with McCoy. This is where the judge, officer and
This is not the first City of Columbia should be ashamed of
time Officer Passmore, in themselves. The City left me a voicemail
particular, has used poor stating, “The transcript is inaudible” and
judgment. Passmore is that “there was something wrong with the
shown in the video initiating tape.” Had the judge been embarrassed
both arrests. On August 20, about his behavior in denying the request
2003, I personally had a run- for an attorney days earlier?  Was Passmore
in with Passmore and several worried about the statements he made under
of Columbia's finest in Five oath?  What if this was a murder case and
Points.   According to that not someone enjoying a fountain in the
police report, I was arrested summer?
because “...Reporting officer McCoy's federal lawsuit against the
identified the subject in the officers involved describes similar cover
city fountain splashing.”   up tactics. Page five of the lengthy suit
No joke.   alleges that the incident, “should have been
“Allegedly” cooling recorded by the dashboard camera video
off  in the fountain on that equipment located inside the Defendants’
August evening didn't patrol vehicle pursuant to policies and
bother them. They were procedures of the City of Columbia Police
According to court documents Allen Keith McAlister Jr. disputed upset that I was exercising Department. However, Defendants now
several charges placed on his food and beverage tab at Red Hot my Fifth Amendment rights claim that no video recording of this incident
Tomatoes and it ultimately landed him a night in the slammer when they approached me: I exists.”
didn’t explain why I walking So, Columbia City Paper would
Editorial by Paul Blake home wet a few blocks away like to help judges, attorneys, and police
from the fountain on Harden Street. It was with a “fundamental freedoms” refresher
Laws and Constitutional amendments an officer-initiated incident and cops don't course.   We are offering free pocket
don't seem to matter at all times in the like it when you don't answer questions. constitutions at our offices on North Main
Columbia, S.C. justice system.  It only takes Exercise fundamental rights the way McCoy Street with proper identification showing
sifting through a few weekend police reports did on October 16, 2009 and you could get that you are part of Columbia's justice
to see that sometimes police don't feel the punished.     system.
need to use probable cause. Fortunately, my cellmate didn't kill The above column is just my opinion,
According to a federal lawsuit, on the himself and I was only lightly scarred by based on what I have seen and experienced.
night of October 16, 2009, Officer John an inmate’s offer that I could “masturbate A person’s opinion, thankfully, is still a
Passmore and two other officers arrested the in front of him if I wanted to.”  In a bizarre protected liberty. But, in Columbia, it’ll
wrong man: Myrtle Beach attorney Jonathan twist, he claimed to be the stepbrother of the probably just land me in court.    
McCoy.   McCoy was arrested outside mayor of the City Of Charleston and said he  
Sharky’s and in return filed a lawsuit on was arrested in a shoplifting attempt to score talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
January, 19 against three officers involved. some money for cocaine. Not sure if this is
Video surveillance of the incident true; that’s just what he said. Considering
backs up McCoy’s allegations that the some of the other alternatives, I was actually
officers exaggerated the incident and made lucky to have that fat bastard take a dump
misleading remarks on the police report. next to my cot pillow. An errant turd and an
The charges include resisting arrest and offer of mutual masturbation is something
interfering with a police officer.  Video from I will get over. That’s not much worse than
the scene contradicts their own police report hanging out at a downtown bus stop for a
few hours. But, McCoy wasn't so lucky. His
cellmate committed suicide in front of him.  
When I fought what I believed to be a
bogus disorderly conduct charge in court,
shady things began to happen. The judge
initially denied my right to an attorney.
After name dropping an attorney and
firmly demanding a recess, I returned with
representation 15 minutes later.
Immediately, the judge changed his
tune and declared a mistrial for “procedural
error.”   After the mistrial, Passmore
reinstated the charges. During the initial trial
Passmore made contradictory statements
Video survaillence shows Office Passmore shoving
(as he has in the McCoy case), so I made a This little criminal is enjoying a chlorine
Myrtle Beach Attorney Johnathan McCoy
treated public fountain on a summer day March 11,, 2010 5
 By Paul Blake
Five Points has been designated a city
park -- just for the 24 hours of St. Patrick’s
Day.
Proponents of the idea say it gives
police more leeway to enforce rules
associated with the St. Pat’s in Five Points
festival, such as restrictions on outdoor
consumption of alcohol and liquor and
possession of coolers and backpacks.
But some Five Points merchants
who had planned to sell beer at their
establishments during the popular festival
claim the new resolution could affect -- if
not shut down completely -- their beer
sales.
“It seems like they are doing everything
they can to prevent retailers from selling
beer,” said Krista Snyder, co-owner of
Disorderly Conduct, a business in Five
Points. “I was told I could get fined and
be held criminally liable if someone leaves
my store with beer that day.”
The controversy had its genesis on
February 3. That day, the Five Points
Association, a nonprofit organization that
runs the St. Pat’s in Five Points festival,
lobbied for and won city council approval
to designate the entire Five Points area
a park for the day. The resolution
also gave Five Points Association the
potentially lucrative control over beer
sales by requiring establishments to serve
beverages in containers purchased from
the nonprofit group if patrons were to
drink alcohol inside the festival.
Last year, prior to the city council’s
resolution requiring that “possession and
consumption of alcoholic beverages shall
be permitted only in containers provided
by the Five Points Association,” the FPA
took in $7,500 from sales of cups, which
sold for on average 25 cents per cup.
Now that the city council has required
businesses to purchase cups from the
6 March 11,, 2010
nonprofit organization in order to sell beer
out their doors, the association could earn
far more than $7,500 in cup sales this year.
In short, City Council gave the Five
Points Association a monopoly on beer
sales during St. Pat’s in Five Points,
providing the nonprofit with a guaranteed
cut of as much as $160,000 in beer sales
revenue.
The new law could also mean cuts in
profits for bars and businesses in Five Points
-- an irony given Five Points Association’s
mission to promote and foster business in
the area. In previous years, merchants in
the festival zone obtained one-day permits
to sell beer and alcohol. They were able
to sell beverages in any type of plastic
container out the door, and that meant
sizable revenue spikes during the festival
that attracts about 40,000 people to the
area.
Because of the new law, the state
Department of Revenue in a letter urged
Snyder of Disorderly Conduct to return
a one-day license it had already issued.
The state agency wanted to give Snyder
“One FPA board member, Richard Burts, chairs the city’s
Hospitality Tax Advisory Committee at the same time he sits
on the board of Five Points Association”
a restricted license following passage of
the park designation. Snyder refused, and
she is now letting other merchants know
they may have a right to sell beer that day
-- without having to buy cups from Five
Points Association.
Friction between Five Points business
owners and the nonprofit whose mission is
to promote business in the area is nothing
new. In 2007, City Paper detailed a
growing rift between Five Points business
owners and the Five Points Association,
particularly regarding St. Pat’s in Five
Points. In the article, City Paper described
how former board member Duncan
MacRae tried to block Groucho’s owners
Bruce Miller and Deric Baum out of the
St. Pat’s event by assembling portable
toilets and a stage in the way of their
business. Other merchants shared similar
stories, and many retailers protested by
shutting down the day of the festival.
Merrit McHaffie, Executive Director
of the Five Points Association, said the
park designation and her organization’s
control over beer sales will bolster safety
during the festival. Police weren’t able
to enforce some rules in previous years,
she said, and the park designation and
cup requirement will provide police with
greater authority to write tickets for a
number of violations, not all of which
pertain to beer sales.
As for selling cups it is unclear
what the Association will do on the day
of the festival. The festival organizers
are claiming ignorance to what will be
enforced that day. “We were not asking
anyone to buy them this year, but if a bar/
restaurant wants to, they can,” McHaffie
wrote in an email to City Paper. McHaffie
responded with more ambiguity on the
question of enforcing the “containers
provided by the Five Points Association”
in the new park designation resolution
and passed the buck on questions to the
Department of Revenue.
Outgoing president of the Five Points
Association, Don McCallister, told City
Paper, “I would say that the answer is yes-
-we cannot require them to use our cups,
but would very much like to see beverages
in plastic for safety reasons.” Although
McCallister has admitted privately that he
is powerless over the St. Pats In Five Points
committee that organizes the festival.
But particularly relevant to Five Points
Association’s monopoly over beer sales is
the nonprofit’s close relationship to city
government. In fact, due to receiving
nearly 50 percent of its operating capital
from taxpayers, Five Points Association is
a quasi-public agency.
During the one-year period from
April 2008 to March 2009, Five Points
Association received $280,000 in taxpayer
funding from the city’s hospitality tax
fund. That money goes largely unchecked
by city officials. Despite the fact that City
Paper has reported how the Five Points
Association has paid tens of thousands
of dollars in “commissions” to board
members and associates in conjunction
with the annual St. Pat’s in Five Points
-- money that would not be available were
it not for taxpayer funding -- the City of
Columbia still does not require a certified
audit of the organization.
In short, the city doesn’t know how
exactly Five Points Association spends
$280,000 in taxpayer funds. What’s more,
one FPA board member, Richard Burts,
chairs the city’s Hospitality Tax Advisory
Committee at the same time he sits on
the board of Five Points Association --
an apparent conflict of interest. (Burts
maintains no such conflict exists, since he
recuses himself from votes pertaining to
 “ Van Loan receives what can only be
described as an Act of God Bonus. If St.
Pat in Five Points isn’t rained out, Van Loan
receives $5,000.”

downplayed the significance of the beer what can only be described as an Act of
contract when talking to City Paper. God Bonus. If St. Pat in Five Points isn’t
She said her business had to bid for rained out, Van Loan receives $5,000.
the contract and compensation is on a St. Pat’s in Five Points, for the record,
sliding scale maxing out at 8 percent is supposed to benefits charities. For the
-- significantly lower than in previous 2008 festival, which had expenses totaling
years. $353,970, Five Points Association gave
But even with a lower percentage, $39,500 to charity.
Glynn still stands to earn a healthy In other words, the City of Columbia
commission check. Last year, when kicks in $280,000 in taxpayer money to
Glynn’s commission was $4,570, St. help put on a festival to benefit charities.
Pat’s in Five Points had low attendance That festival, in turn, generates about
numbers and low beer sales figures due $40,000 for those charities -- making for
to rain. This year, weather permitting, a negative 88.5 percent return on taxpayer
Glynn stands to make an estimated investment.
$9,000 after expenses. (Assuming beer Mayoral candidate Kirkman Finlay III
sales are around $150,000 and expenses told City Paper in 2007: “Three hundred
are similar to last year.) thousand dollars in taxpayer money seems
Yet she isn’t necessarily the an inefficient way to give $30,000 to
greatest beneficiary of St. Pat’s in Five charity.”
Points. That distinction goes to Skip talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
Anderson, the executive director of
operations for the Columbia Blowfish
who organizes a mostly volunteer staff
for the St. Patrick’s Day Festival. In
previous years, Anderson received a
percentage of wristband sales. Records
show as much as $28,000 in wristband
commissions were paid out in previous
years. Anderson denies ever making that
much and last year he received $8,000
A letter from the Department of Revenue threatening the owner of small business “Disorderly Conduct” for his action on the wristband sales.
with criminal prosecution if their patrons leave the establishment with alcohol into the festival area. “No, it is not percentage based,”
Anderson told City Paper. “I’m just here
Five Points Association.) member Kelly Glynn took in $4,570 in
to help out and see what happens, man.”
Absent oversight by public officials, beer sales commissions after paying $2,750
City Paper’s interview with Anderson
City Paper has attempted to audit the in expenses -- giving her a profit of $1,820
came to a halt when Duncan MacRae, the
festival annually until the city implements a for the festival. Glynn owns Village Idiot
co-owner of Yesterday’s and a co-founder
better process to account for how taxpayer Pizza and Pub with her husband Brian,
of St. Pat’s in Five Points, interrupted.
money is spent. That hasn’t always been an who formerly worked for Budweiser.
“Get off my ass,” MacRae said.
easy process for the paper. Not surprisingly, Glynn controls
Also benefitting financially from St.
Five Points Association failed to the beer order this year and stands to
Pat’s in Five Points is Jack Van Loan,
disclose commission payouts for the 2009 take in even more money in Five Points
the economic development director for
festival when City Paper requested such Association commissions. On March 7,
Five Points Association. Van Loan receives
information in March of that year. More at training for event volunteers, Glynn
recently, City Paper requested a list of all
vendors and consulting contractors and
money paid to those entities for St. Pat’s
in Five Points. According to the state
open records law, Five Points Association
has until March 19 to provide City Paper
with those records. At deadline, the
organization had not yet provided those
records.
Those records are important because
the commission on beer sales in years
past was 18 percent. That commission
has meant sizable amounts of money
for people connected to Five Points
Association. Last year, board Resolution 2010-002 past on February 3, 2010 designates all of Five Points a park on the day of the
festival. The resolution includes the language “possession and consuption of alcoholic beverages shall
be permitted only in containers provided by the Five Points Association in designated areas.” March 11,, 2010 7
 all you need to know!
It is safe to say without expert opinion
or attribution that planning and pulling off
the annual St. Patrick’s Day Festival in Five
Points is no small feat. Executive Director
of the Five Points Association Merrit
McHaffie and all the staff, vendors and
volunteers put an immeasurable amount
of effort into putting together one of the
marquis street festivals in the region. As
the FPA continues to acknowledge a need
to be more transparent and sensitive to the
needs of all merchants in the district; as the
monetary “cookie jar” of what is supposed
to be a charity event has finally been
nibbled down to a few thousand crumbs;
and as the City of Columbia continues
to improve its accounting practices, the
annual St. Patrick’s Day festival can only
get better. Many hope going forward that
it will be beneficial for all parties involved,
be they association members, stand-alone
merchants, vendors and, most importantly,
tax payers.
Drink to that!
The following information has been
provided by festival organizers:
THREE Days of Pre-Party Festivities
March 12 - Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!
Time/Location: 5-10 p.m. on Santee Avenue
Admission: FREE to the public!!
Description: What better way to pre-
party for St. Pat’s in Five Points than
listening to 6 local bands vying for a slot on
a St. Pat’s stage and seeing if you have what
it takes to be named Rock Band Champion.
Always Responsible. Always treats, a petting zoo, magic shows, karaoke,
Alert Cab! Need A Safe Ride face painting and the new Fun Bus- a
Home After the Festival? Get a fitness playground on wheels. Notes: Silly
ride from your Bud. adults... St. Pat’s is for kids!
Take an Alert Cab from the
following gates and Checker- SC Education Lottery Shaggin’ on
Yellow & Budweiser will pay the Santee Time: Noon – 6:00 p.m. Location:
first $10 of your fare to a home Santee Avenue
or hotel. • Blossom Street (near Description: Irish Jig? Southern Shag!
Wachovia) The Capital City Shag Club is bringing
• Greene Street (near Claussen’s the State Dance to St. Pat’s in Five Points.
Inn) • Devine Street (near Subway) DJs from around the state will be throwing
down beach, boogie, blues and shag tunes
Ready. Set. Run -or parade, -or play while Shag enthusiasts shag, shuffle and
-or shag! glide during exhibitions, showcases,
Whatever you prefer, this lessons and free-style dance. Top off the
year St. Pat’s has something for day with Jim Quick and Coastline! See the
everyone. Best of all, you’ll find music tab for the DJ
tons of free activities to choose
from that are sure to please all the SC Education Lottery’s Shaggin’ On
little (and big) leprechauns! Santee
DJ Throwdown Schedule - Free Shag &
Notes – Adult beverages will be available
Get to the Green 5K Run & 1 Mile Line Dance Lessons/Demonstrations
for sale. Rock Band competition is free.
Walk Day of Registration: 7:00 a.m. Noon - 1:00 - 2:00 -
– 8:00 a.m. - Official Start: 8:30 a.m. 3:00 - 4:00 - 5:00 -
Comfort Zone + Shuttle Service
Location: Registration and race start line DJ Skip Lancaster, R&B Spartanburg
+ Alert Cabs = Complimentary
on Blossom Street (by Carolina First) Shag Club CCSC Shag/Line Dance
Convenience
Description: Runners follow rainbows Demonstration & Shag Lessons DJ Brett
St. Pat’s in 5 Points is quickly
through the beautiful tree lined streets of Bishop, Sumter Shag Club Junior Shag/
approaching and festival planners have
Shandon to a pot of gold at the finish line Line Dance Demonstration & Shag
devised a number of ways to make your
on Devine Street. Over 1,500 lean green Lessons DJ Billy Cook, Florence Shag
festival experience as enjoyable and safe
running machines made the 2009 race the Club CCSC Junior Shag/Line Dance
as possible.
Largest Road Race in the Midlands. *Don’t Demonstration & Shag Lessons Jim Quick
Crowds + Music – Energy = A Need to
forget to dress in your leprechaun best and Coastline Junior Shag/Line Dance
Relax Solution: South Carolina Hospital
and vie for an award as the Best Dressed Demonstration & Shag Lessons DJ Dennis
Association Comfort Zone Location: Five
Leprechaun! Notes: All participants in the Brumble, Camden Shag Club CCSC Shag/
Points Fountain (center of the festival) Seek
5th annual race get FREE entry into the Line Dance Demonstration & Junior Shag
solace in the chairs and cots of the Comfort
festival and the official race t-shirt. Demonstration & Lessons
Zone. Rest and recharge your batteries.
Enjoy the day the safe way. Amenities:
St. Pat’s Parade Time: 10:00 a.m.
fruit, water, juice, band-aids, diapers and
Location: Musical Mile of Free Viewing on
other similar provisions
Devine Street (from Dreher to Five Points)
Description: There will be magic in the
Tips on Avoiding Five Points’
air and clover everywhere as this visual
Traffic! Park and Ride for Free -
spectacle delights and entertains with lively
Shuttle Transportation - Time: 9:00 a.m. –
music, entertaining floats and amusing
8:00 p.m. Hassel free parking is available
characters. Bring a bag to collect all the
at a number of locations throughout the
goodies shared by the parade participants.
city.
Be sure to watch for Five Points own
Shuttles run every 20-minutes from
Kudzu Queens!
these locations and deliver riders to the
festival gate: • Capital City Stadium on
FREE Wachovia Children’s
Assembly St.; drop off at Green Street Gate
Carnival Time: 10:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.
• Park Street behind the Koger Center;
Location: Martin Luther King Park
drop-off at Green Street Gate • Hand
Description: Celebrating with wee
Middle School on King Street side; drop
ones? Your little leprechauns are sure to
off at Devine Street Gate
think they’ve found the end of the rainbow
NOTE:
in this safe fun filled area with rides,
food, beverages, backpacks, coolers
games, kid-approved entertainment, tasty
and containers are not allowed on shuttles!!
March 11,, 2010 9
Voted best In Property Management!
Wed 03/10/10 John Satterfield Thu 03/25/10
Josh Roberts & The Wayne «The Train» Manchester Orchestra
Peter Mulvey Hinges Hancock Laura Story Jillian's
White Mule Justin Smith White Mule Columbia Int'l University Biffy Clyro
Long Miles O'Brother
Thu 03/11/10 Patrick Davis Fri 03/19/10 Telepath The Features
Perpetual Groove Elbow Room
Weatherbox Robert Earl Keen David Bazan Sun 04/11/10
New Brookland Tavern Saosin New Brookland Tavern Fri 03/26/10
Sequoyah Prep School Headlights Rachael Sage
Fri 03/12/10 Shallow Palace Pinna White Mule
The Movement Edwin McCain Utopia Danielle Howle
Full Throttle The Skelligs Clarion Town House
Hard Knox Villanova Patrick Davis Jeff Dunham Simplified
Colonial Life Arena Capital City Stadium
Total Denial Jason Dalton Irritating Julie
Utopia Hard Knox Hard Knox Tue 03/30/10
Thu 04/22/10
Kevin Hart Sun 03/14/10 Jelly Roll & The Delicous Pretty Lights
Comedy House Theatre Dish Club 1800 Laura Story
DB Bryant Utopia Two Fresh Spring Valley Baptist
Sat 03/13/10 and Friends Church
Hard Knox Sat 03/20/10 Tigercity
Coolie G & Lion Reggae New Brookland Tavern Fri 04/23/10
Utopia Kevin Hart Benjy Davis Project
Comedy House Theatre New Brookland Tavern Wed 03/31/10 Appetite For Destruction
Kevin Hart Sequoyah Prep School - Trib. To Guns N' Roses
Comedy House Theatre Wed 03/17/10 Abandon Kansas (NC)
Marshall Ruffin Trio New Brookland Tavern New Brookland Tavern
«St. Patrick's Day Jazz Fusion & Funk Elbow Room Farewell Flight
Festival» Columbia, SC With Jeremy Roberso Bess Rogers
Ballyhoo! Hard Knox Blackberry Smoke w The White Mule
Celtic Blue Crime In Stereo DB Bryant Band Thu 04/08/10
Crash Kings New Brookland Tavern Hard Knox Sat 04/24/10
Dangermuffin The Wonder Years Yarn Patrick Davis
Deepfield Foxy Glenn Powell & Friends White Mule White Mule
Shazam Blues Jam with Naz Utopia
Jet Hard Knox Fri 04/09/10

Rockin’ Out With Their Banjo Out

By Shelby Sachs
Known for their plaid shirts,
banjo’s, love songs, and tons of
screaming 16-year-old girls,
Sequoyah Prep School will be sure
to pack out yet another show March
20 at New Brookland Tavern.
Justin Osborne, They are gaining fans all over the
vocals, West Jones, country, but they know no one is
guitar, Jordan Hicks, more devoted than their very own
guitar, Johnnie South Carolina fan base. During
Matthews, bass, every performance, you can point
and Harrison Boyd, out the newbie’s from the die-hard
drums, are no strang- fans as they will be singing, clap-
ers to Columbia or ping, and stomping along to every
their popularity song; they are truly a huge contribu-
amongst the locals. tor to why every Sequoyah Prep
Performing songs off School show is so memorable and
their latest album, entertaining.
Ghost Town, as well Although this will be one
as some older songs for their older of Sequoyah Prep’s Schools first
fans, everyone in attendance won’t shows as an opener, headlining
be disappointed as the boys are Southern-rock band, Benjy Davis
certain to unveil some new songs Project, whom just released their
during their performance. latest album, “Lost Souls Like Us,”
Recently, Sequoyah Prep are certain to be a perfect fit to this
School has been touring the country Columbia favorite.
and recording some new music.
 thursday 11 Friday 12 Saturday 13 Sunday 14 monday 15 tuesday 16 Wednesday 17
$8 7:30pm $6 9pm no cover 6pm $7 7:30pm $5/8 5:30pm $5/8 6pm $10 7pm

twilight St. PAttieS DoYourWorst

Horrendous
mArCH

Ruby Blue & Wonder Shakedown! Forgetting

armada Thank God FeSt @ nBt The Isnauts With Reckless
Old Canoe Fera
Satanized W/ roB Mobley Abandon
All Get Out
Vindictive Sovereign The WonderYears
no cover 9pm
Weatherbox Sein Zum Tode $2.50 Killians, Dance Commander
The Makeout Party uSeleSS triviA W/: TheYellow Team Behold The
The Restoration Guinness, Harp Hardy and Dewayne Messenger
Calculator $2.00 Domestics $100 Worth Of Prizes Crime in Stereo
thursday 18 Friday 19 Saturday 20 Sunday 21 monday 22 tuesday 23 Wednesday 24
$5/8 8pm $12/14 9pm $10/13 8pm $5/8 7:30pm $5/8 5:30pm $5/8 6pm $5/8 7pm
Gasoline Heart Kill MeABear new music The Sea Wolf
mArCH

Fuzz Orchestra Benjy Davis Project I In The Sky Last Breath OfAugust night: Mutiny
Tunguska David Bazan Sequoyah Prep The Dirty White From The Heart Brass To The Future Full Color Footage
School Faces Unturned
Headlights William Cronin M-Tank
...for science! Todd Carey
The Jones Machine
uSeleSS triviA W/: Great TequilaAssassins Famous Last
midnigHt Hardy and Dewayne Caleb Davis Band Words
murderAmA $100 Worth Of Prizes Constellations
thursday 25 Friday 26 Saturday 27 monday 29 tuesday 30 monday 31 tues. Apr 6
7:30pm $5/8 5:45pm $5/8 5:30pm $5/8 5:30pm $10 7pm $7 7:30pm $3/5 6:30pm
AAron & grAnt City UnderFlames My Losing Season
mAr/APr

Ten Car Pile-Up

CAmPAign Enemy Within (Farewell Show) With Reckless Tigercity FAreWell acoustic
Annihilation Of The Freshman 15
Abandon O'Verona FligHt showcase:
FundrAiSer DoYourWorst TBA
Preach Jacobs
Exiled
$5/7 9pm
The Fierce Pursuit Parades and Versus The Robot
The Elements
$5/8
Obraskai
9pm
Shallow Palace
uSeleSS triviA W/:
Armies Abandon Kansas
If interested in
playing please e-mail
Sons OfYoung
TBA
Decadence
Host ToAnother
Lionz Of Zion
Sounds Of Suburbia Hardy and Dewayne
TBA Cayla Fralick newbrooklandtavern@
hotmail.com
$5 suggested donation Shotgun Opera Thee Mad Frogs $100 Worth Of Prizes

Blue david Bazan Benjy Davis

ruBY Project

AND THE ISNAUTS

Crime in Stereo
tunguska Sequoyah Prep Versus The Robot
Mobley Forgetting Fera
School
Dance Commander The Wonder Years ...For science! Abandon Kansas
The Makeout Party Behold The Todd Carey Cayla Fralick
Messenger Headlights
Sun. Feb 14 Wed. mar 17 thurs. mar 18 Fri. mar 19 Sat. mar 20 mon. mar 31
$7 7:30pm $10 7pmm $5/8 8pm $12/14 9pmm $10/13 8pm $7 7:30pm

122 State St. W Columbia SC 29169

12 August 6, 2009 www.newbrooklandtavern.com 803.791.4413

Greetings!!! March is upon us, 4) Code of the Streets (GS- Hard
the Weather is on the upswing, and the time To Earn)
keeps rolling…summer is right around the 5) Words I Manifest (GS- No More
corner. Based on how cold it’s been, it Mr. Nice Guy)
will be pretty hot this summer; SC weather 6) Just To Get A Rep (GS- Step In
always happens in extremes. A big thank The Arena)
you to every person out there reading this 7) JFK 2 LAX (GS- Moment Of
CCP for the continuous support and love of Truth)
The Vocal Booth; be on the lookout for the 8) Dwyck (GS- Hard To Earn)
website and much more on the way. Much 9) Step In The Arena (GS- Step In
music has dropped since last issue. The Arena)
Method Man, Raekwon, and Ghostface 10) Skillz (GS- The Owners)
teamed up to make the ‘Wu Massacre’, 11) Ex To The Next Girl (GS- Daily
Erykah Badu is about to drop part 2 of her Operation)
‘New Amerykah’ series, Ludacris is having 12) Soliloquy of Chaos (GS- Daily
the time of his life as he rides the ‘Battle of Operation)
The Sexes’ wave, and labels are gearing up 13) Wordplay (by Bahamadia-
to make as much money as possible from Kollage)
their artists as the ‘cash cow’ season gets 14) You know my Steez (GS-
underway. Although March is Women’s Moment Of Truth)
History Month, today we are going to shine 15) Watch What You Say
the spotlight on one of Hip Hop’s greatest (Jazzmatazz Vol. 2)
emcees that’s currently battling an illness, 16) Bring It On (by N’Dea
suffered a heart attack, endured surgery, fell Davenport s/t)
under comatose, yet still remains strong. 17) Certified (Jazzmatazz-Street
This enemy is none other than…Gifted Soul)
Unlimited Rhymes Universal aka GURU 18) Check The Technique (GS-Step
(of Gang Starr & 7 Grand). Here is a list of In The Arena)
the 20 best songs by Guru, featuring Guru, 19) Royalty (GS- Moment Of Truth)
or produced by Guru. Let’s get it!!!! 20) Brainstorm (GS-Hard To Earn)
GURU (of Gang Starr & 7 Grand) 20 WORDS OF WISDOM
Best!!! (In No Particular Order except You never know what day will
#1-my personal fav!!) be your last…Live your life now!!! Stay
Up!!!!
1) Mass Appeal (from Gang Starr-
Hard To Earn) DJ Kingpin-Villain Of Vinyl kingp-
2) Loungin’ (Jazzmatazz Vol. 1) invillianofvinyl@gmail.com
3) Jazz Thing (from Mo’ Betta
Blues Sdtk.)
¡Ask a Mexican!
A Niño Named Sue?
Dear Mexican: I’m a about the bullied kid, of
pan blanco, and my wife is course, but also about the
puertorriqueña. Our son father’s thought process.
looks white (though a casual The dad’s not a racist pig—
observer might admit there just an understandably upset
is some Latin going on papi. But pendejos exist in
there). I’m not sure how this every ethnicity, and there’s
pertains to my question—it no reason to use those
may or may not be worth fuck-ups to smear a group
mentioning. Our son is a as a whole. It’s a natural
high-functioning autistic inclination to do so, but a
12-year-old. The way he wrong one. To the dad: My
looks and behaves makes best advice is to get on the
him a target for bullies. He school administration’s ass
is sweet and innocent. He to protect your beautiful son.
doesn’t understand sarcasm And trust me, at some point
or how to be cool. He studies By GUSTAVO ARELLANO in his life, there’ll be a good
hard and gets good grades. Mexican kid who’ll kick the
He is a classic four-eyed, Harry Potter asses of those bullies like any good person
dork. He doesn’t bother anyone, but he gets would.
teased and bullied by cruel classmates. It
breaks my heart and makes me furious. Dear Mexican: Whenever I read some
Today, a bigger kid came up and twisted Mexican history, I’m always amazed at the
his arm behind him, causing him pain. After variety of first names that apparently have no
he told me about it, and as I fought back English equivalent. I’m only 40 pages into a
tears of rage (and yes, I tell the authorities, book about Pancho Villa, and already I’ve
and they do what they can, but they can’t be seen such beauties as Indalecio, Fidencio,
everywhere at once), he asked me, “Daddy, Maclovio, Nemesio and Belisario. I’ve tried
why is it that every time I’m bullied, it’s by Google, but I can’t seem to find a place
a Mexican?” where the origins of these names and their
I’m wondering the same thing. Every meanings can be found. Any suggestions?
time—and I mean every single time–he’s
been bullied and tormented since we moved Flummoxed In Flagstaff
to California three years ago, it’s been by a
Mexican kid. Oh, and the Mexican students Dear Gabacho: Try Google again. All the
are in the minority in his school. A large names you mentioned are the Hispanicized
minority, but a minority nonetheless. It’s not nombres of Catholic saints (respectively,
like he’s the only white kid in the yard. I’m Indalecio, Fidelis, Maclou and Nemesius),
truly at a loss as to why this seems to be so. with the exception of Belisario, which refers
Are all of these kids beaten by their fathers to the great Roman general Belisarius.
so they have to take it out on what they Mexicans traditionally pulled their names
might perceive to be a pampered gringo? from the Bible and the Papist calendar.
I’m guessing. Other than teach my kid how This resulted in two separate celebrations
to defend himself, I don’t see what can be for someone’s birth—the cumpleaños
done about it. (the actual birthday) and the día de santo,
Is it cultural? I wonder if you could the feast day of the saint corresponding to
suggest what I might say to my son to the person’s name; sometimes the twain
prevent him from hating Mexicans by the did meet and knock back Herradura.
time he reaches adulthood, if not before. Or Those traditions and esoteric names
what I might say to myself, for that matter. are unfortunately disappearing because
Why is it always a Mexican kid tormenting American culture devours all. But you
my son? Every fuckin’ time. Why? I don’t know what’s the weirdest male name I’ve
like the dark place my mind is going to. Can heard? Susano. Etymology? From Susanna,
you help me? obviously, but no pinche clue how it became
A Good Papi accepted for hombres . . .
Dear Readers: The more I think about Ask the Mexican at themexican@
this question, the more it saddens me— askamexican.net
803-218-9455
March 11,, 2010 13

Legislators need more
issues training
By Andy Brack
The opposite of a leader is a lemming, a
political metaphor for a follower who will
do just about anything, including blindly
jumping off a cliff, to back a leader.
South Carolina’s General Assembly is
full of lemmings – so much so that one
top lawmaker privately confided this week
that some legislators wouldn’t know where
babies came from if they had not been per-
sonally involved.
Part of the reason for the vast number
of lemmings in South Carolina politics is
“ I would argue, for example, that at least
half of the General Assembly’s 170 members
really don’t understand the state budget”
the institutional structure of the legislature.
In other words, committees. Legislators
get experience on a range of specific issues
through committees to the exclusion of
other issues. For example, a House member
may serve on the Agriculture and Natural
Resources Committee and learn a lot on
environmental issues. But because she
isn’t on Ways and Means, she doesn’t have
as much familiarity with budget issues.
Therefore, she relies on colleagues who deal
with budget issues to provide information
and voting recommendations about those
issues.
That’s how committees are supposed to
work – as structures to help lawmakers use
time more wisely and deal with multiple
issues. Unfortunately these days, seri-
ous issues often fly through committees so
fast that there’s little deliberate discussion
before a meaningful vote occurs – and then
they move on to the next big thing.
Another reason for so many lemmings is
lawmakers face a great number of issues on
which they seem to have a hard time keep-
ing up with details. They have, for lack of
a better description, a knowledge gap on
proposals outside their narrow committee
scope. I would argue, for example, that at
least half of the General Assembly’s 170
members really don’t understand the state
budget or have a big-picture view of how
government is funded. (Some people say
I’m very low in the estimate.)
While changes to the General Assembly’s
committee system likely aren’t in the tea
leaves, there is something lawmakers could
do to bone up better on the issues they face:
Attend a special annual training session to
get non-partisan educational information
on top issues impacting the people of South
Carolina.
14 March 11, 2010
It is time to shake things up
at City Hall!
Call it an “Institute of Government.”
Such an idea has been successful in North
Carolina in helping to build camaraderie
among partisans. It also has allowed leg-
islators to deepen their understanding of
issues.
From a practical perspective, such an
Institute wouldn’t cost much. Legislators
already meet for an organizational ses-
sion each December. They could spend an
extra day in Columbia to hear from leading
university professors on everything from
Aaron Johnson
candidate for Mayor
& Grant Robertson
for City Council at large
budget and health care to education, envi-
ronment and growing jobs. Because many
of the professors already are state employ-
ees, they could do presentations as part of For a Greater Columbia Area
their jobs. Vote April 6th
Several political insiders and legisla- www.aarongrant2010.com
tors – Republicans and Democrats – who
we asked about the idea said annual training
would be a good thing.
To get something like this moving,
however, would require the House’s and
Senate’s leaders or caucus leaders to support
educational training by requiring lawmakers
to attend. Mandatory attendance is neces-
sary if the exercise is to have an impact.
Because lemmings, you know, do what
they’re told. If they’re not told to attend,
they won’t.
So now we read that House lawmakers
have voted to cut the amount that can be
awarded for negligence in civil lawsuits to
$350,000 at most.
Proponents claim such tort reform is
needed to attract jobs, which seems to be the
new rationale for anything that anti-lawyer
forces use to get what they want. Opponents
of this next iteration of tort reform say
reform isn’t needed because the system
already works – that of 136 jury verdicts for
personal injury in 2007 and 2008, only two
involved damages of more than $7,000.
We urge state senators to look beyond
the rhetoric when considering this mea-
sure that would take away people’s rights
to receive compensation for corporate or
personal negligence. Instead of listening
to special interests, think about it this way:
If you lost your arm in an accident caused
by an employer’s negligence, wouldn’t you
want to sue for more than $350,000 in dam-
ages? Or is having use of your arm for the
rest of your life worth less?
talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
 By Baynard Woods
I walked out of the Capitol building,
waist high mounds of gray snow glistened
in the sun. I walked down C Street, thinking
about Senator DeMint and the highly politi-
cal, yet tax exempt, organization that rents
him a room in its frat house on the street. But
DeMint wasn’t on C Street. He was across
town at the Marriot where the Conservative
Political Action Committee (CPAC) was
meeting.
I made my way to the nearest Metro.
As I rode down the escalator on my way to
CPAC, I felt like I was descending into the
underworld.
It was about 3:00 o’clock when I got
there. Before I went up to the Marriot, I
stopped at Murphy’s Irish Pub around the
corner. It was filled with young Republicans
in suits, looking over their shoulders every
other minute, hoping some luminary may
walk in. A union organizer I know goes
there every year for a CPAC happy hour
and tries to pick a fight. He didn’t go this
year. Knowing he likes a good fight, I could
see why. Though the rhetoric of the CPAC
Republicans has become robust—downright
revolutionary, in fact—the guys at the bar
were the same dweeby young Republicans I
knew in college and high school. Picking a
fight at Murphy’s that day would have been
like shooting wolves with machine guns
from helicopters and calling it sport.
But, as I walked up the hill to the
Marriot’s service entrance, I was a bit ner-
vous. Aside from being a straight white
dude—the obvious favorite racial and gen-
der characterization of CPACers—I was the
embodiment of so many of the hatreds they’d
been railing against. I live on the east coast
where I teach at a University. I write for
what they would consider the “mainstream
media.” (If you imagine a world where
Columbia City Paper is considered main-
stream and FOX News independent, you can
get an idea of just how skewed the CPAC
worldview is).
In fact, I had no trouble getting in at all,
even though I didn’t have any kind of badge
or pass. I walked into the lobby. Everyone
was either watching the conference they
were attending being broadcast on wall-
mounted televisions, talking on cell phones,
or scanning the room for important people.
Nobody even noticed me. By the time I made
it to the exhibition hall, I grabbed a couple
of the most radical stickers I could find
and stuck them on my jacket, and I moved
around the conference freely. compared CPAC to Woodstock he claimed “Email?”
Then people were running and scream- “our women are more attractive.” (That may “He doesn’t do email.”
ing, as flames engulfed them. Oh no, that not be an exact quote—I couldn’t bear to It’s hard to know how DeMint gets by
wasn’t here. That was an IRS office that a watch him again). Well, there did seem to be with a luddite press secretary. Or maybe, he
right wing anti-tax terrorist flew his plane an overabundance of the type of blonde that is just living up to his principles and cutting
into at the exact moment that Pawlenty was every network must now hire as sportscaster. the costs of his office staff. He had after all,
urging conservatives across the country to But they were as bland and boring as the just called for the abolition of the Federal
emulate Elin Woods and smash out the rhetoric is radical. As I walked around, I income tax that pays his expenses.
government’s windows just as she had done noticed that they were definitely showing the When I got back out onto the street, it
Tiger’s. dorky guys exactly why the Republicans are was dinnertime. I noticed large groups of
And this is the amazing thing. None of called the party of no. blue blazers standing stunned on the street-
these staunch anti-terror advocates will call Most importantly of all, I kept my eyes corners. I listened in and realized what
this terror. And, so afraid of them are we, that peeled for Senator DeMint. See, I had called was going on. The only obvious restaurants
no one else will either. A guy gets on a plane him earlier. I wanted to write about one of in Woodley Park were ethnic—Indian or
with some kind of ridiculous flammable his staffers in the same way I wrote about Ethiopian—and the CPACers didn’t know
underwear and is apprehended and it is all Clyburn’s policy director. When I called and what to do. “I don’t think I’m hungry any-
Obama’s fault. In the middle of a confer- asked for the Press Secretary, the woman more,” one young man said. I didn’t know if
ence where radicals are urging citizens to do who answered the phone asked who was call- it was because he was a bigot or because he
harm to their own government, a man attacks ing. I told her. She put me on hold. She came had been fed such a load of shit all day.
the very heart of conservative hatred—the back. “He’s not in right now.”
IRS—and nobody “connects the dots” as ter- “OK,” I said. “Could I get a voicemail?” talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
rorism people like to say. “He doesn’t have voicemail.”
But that explained why there was no
heightened security—these were the terror-
ists. Or at least the people who share their
ideological hatred of the United States gov-
ernment.
Earlier, I watched the worst comedian
I had ever seen—some bozo with a book
called Obama Zombies. He called CPAC
“our Woodstock.” Sure, I’ll take those odds.
We get Jimi Hendrix, you get Alec Baldwin’s
right wing brother. We get Janis Joplin, you
get Anne Coulter.
But, as I walked around, I figured the
zombie guy was right. These tea party folks
are like the Right’s hippies. I saw a couple
of guys dressed in Colonial garb and won-
dered if everyone in the Marriot had taken
the brown acid. John Kerry lost in 2004
because of what the hippies did over thirty
years earlier. Stopping at the NRA exhibit,
I wondered what long-term negative effects
CPAC types would have on the Republican
Party over time.
In a flashback moment, I saw a pony-
tailed guy running the John Birch Society
booth. Their booth had a picture of black
children smiling hanging above it. I wasn’t
even alive in the Sixties and it freaked me
out. Birchers should not have ponytails.
I talked to the man who navigated the
Enola Gay and dropped the atomic bomb. He
told me “it ended the war, but did not win it.”
He asked me if I wanted to have my photo
taken with him. I did. I talked to some radical
student groups, because everyone here was
obsessed with “capturing” the youth.
Oh, and I forgot, when the zombie guy
March 11,, 2010 15
Arts

Fresh on the Scene

Notes from USC’s 54th Annual when viewed from the other direc-
Student Art Exhibition tion it features images from all over
campus.
By Judit Trunkos Venugopal’s painting depicts
Each year the University of South young Indian couple on their wedding
Carolina Art Department invites stu- day. The bride, represented as femi-
dents to submit works in any media nine and soft, the groom as strong and
for an annual juried exhibition. disciplined, seem to be optimistically
This year, Jeanette Guinn, Program looking towards the future together.
Director for the South Carolina Arts The bride gives the viewer a hint of
Commission, judged the competition. a smile as the groom looks at the
She selected 57 works ranging from viewer with a certainty.
photography, painting, multimedia Morris, who earned first place
sculptural installations and video. among undergraduate students, does
The works are a good representation not limit his work to a certain theme

“Venugopal’s painting depicts young Indian

couple on their wedding day.”

of the departments’ undergraduate or object, but wants the viewer to

and graduate students.
Mallory Collins’  “USC Library
Card Catalog Book,” graduate stu-
dent Katie Venugopal’s  “Venugopal
and Vasantha on Their Wedding Day”
and undergraduate student  Jordan
Morris’  untitled work all received
awards.
Collins’ hand stitched picture book
incorporates photographs and descrip-
tions of buildings and plays with the
idea of cataloging an entire univer-
sity. When viewed from one direction
the book features sepia-toned images
of USC’s Thomas Cooper Library,
16 March 11,, 2010
come to their own conclusions. The
normally two-dimensional pieces of
paper turn into a three dimensional
object in Morris’ hands. The aes-
thetically pleasing sphere creates a
seemingly organic object, individual
details dissolving into Morris’ larger
fantasy.
The USC group exhibit can be seen
through March 27 at the McMaster
Gallery at the University of South
Carolina.
talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
March 11,, 2010 17
 SavageLove Sex Advice
by Dan Savage
I am a girl
who sabotaged
my relationship. I
was angry; I had
complaints. But my
real issue was a
store of repressed
childhood trauma,
and I was working
it out on the closest person to me, my BF. We had
something magical, and I destroyed it. I am now
willing to give 110 percent to fix it.
We no longer have sex. We are hardly on
speaking terms. I know now that my relationship
skills are stunted—more childhood baggage—but
I want to save my relationship. Do you have any
tips on initiating sex with someone whom I have
traumatized or on improving communication with
someone who is so resentful? I am willing to give
it time and effort, accept my faults, and breathe
deeply rather than react in anger when we talk
through things.
Saboteur Addressing Dysfunctions
I’ll get to your problem in a second, SAD.
But first, a Savage Love programming note:
I don’t usually mention where I’m writing a
particular column, because it doesn’t really matter
whether my computer is sitting on Ann Landers’s
desk or resting on Apolo Ohno’s ass. (I will let
you know when I am writing in a bar, though,
because alcohol can impair an advice columnist’s
judgment.)
I’m writing this column on an airplane, and
I was totally in the zone when I noticed that the
guy sitting next to me on this airplane was reading
my laptop screen. So I wrote this: “HEY! YOU!
YEAH, YOU! THE GUY SITTING NEXT TO
ME ON DELTA 2360! STOP READING THIS
SHIT UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO
ADD!”
Some people.
Okay, SAD: Unless your boyfriend is a weight
bench or an exercise ball, you weren’t “working
it out” on him. You were taking it out on him.
Now, maybe you’ve been led to believe—by your
counselor, by Oprah, by some other idiot with an
advice column—that you can just throw up your
hands and say, “Childhood issues! Childhood
baggage!” and everything will be magic again.
Sorry, SAD, but sometimes the damage is too
great. Your boyfriend won’t speak to you? Won’t
fuck you?
Game over.
Accept that you—not your issues, not your
baggage, but you yourself—screwed yourself
out of a decent guy. End it, get your ass into
counseling, and make an effort to resolve your
issues and unpack your bags before you inflict
yourself on some other dope. You don’t have to
be 100 percent healthy before you date—no one
is 100 percent healthy—but you do have to be in
relatively good working order.
And what does the guy sitting next to me on
this airplane think?
“I’ve dated girls like her,” says TGSNTMOTA.
“Daddy issues. She should get over her shit
before she dates someone else, you know, but
she probably won’t. Girls like her never do. But
maybe this one will, because you’re pulling her up
short. And she should move to an island—Hawaii,
the Big Island—because being on an island can
really help you work through your shit.”
Thanks, TGSNTMOTA!
I am a leather daddy in a big city. A young
man—early 20s, in a small town—contacted me
online and asked to be my boy. I declined, due
to distance, but agreed to be his confidant and
adviser. The boy has one huge problem: He is in
a long-term relationship with a vanilla boyfriend
who has no interest in BDSM and vehemently
18 March 11, 2010
Across
JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS
““The Future Is Now”--and they got it wrong.”
51 On the ___ (fleeing) 16 Sore from walking
1 What writer Malcolm Peltu predicted 52 Silent ___ (presidential nickname) 21 Ex-UN Secretary-General U ___
opposes allowing him to explore with others. could “cross a busy highway without 53 Visually finds 22 They’re shorter than LPs
Presently, the boy goes to dungeon parties and being hit” by 2010 54 Sitcom with a famous Turkey Drop 25 Eeyore’s pal
plays with men behind his boyfriend’s back. I feel 6 Heavy falling sound episode 26 Biblical prophet
very strongly that the boy should either come to an 10 Green living prefix 55 Director Reitman 28 Clumsy oaf
understanding with his boyfriend that allows him 13 Verdugo of “Marcus Welby, M.D.” 57 “___ be easy” 31 Fish and chips fish
to explore or break up with him so they can both 14 Bar mitzvah dance 58 Ex-UN Secretary-General Boutros 33 Limp
find what they need. 15 Fetal position? Boutros-___ 34 Winston Churchill’s niece (and no,
I wouldn’t ordinarily presume to know what’s 17 Guilty pleasures 59 Drowsy she never went door-to-door)
best for other people, but this boy is starving 18 Phil of poker 60 Fox comedy with Jane Lynch 35 On fire
sexually, emotionally, and spiritually. But my 19 Daredevil Knievel 61 Sedan named for an Italian city 36 Curtis of “A Fish Called Wanda”
conscience will not allow me to advise him on 20 Acronym used a lot by Rachael Ray 62 Badminton divider 37 Spy planes of the ‘60s
navigating the leather scene when I know he’ll use 21 Malaria-carrying fly 63 The “Big Board,” on Wall Street 38 Euro follower?
this knowledge to cheat on his boyfriend. Do you 23 Peyton Manning’s brother 64 Its cause is what rocket scientist 42 Three in Torino
agree with the advice I’ve given this boy? 24 2016 Olympics site Robert Truax predicted would be found 43 Naval officer
Wanna Be A Good Influence 25 With “The,” country that’s already and corrected by 2010 44 In a wholly absorbed way
a U.S. state by 2010, in the 1968 novel 46 Blue litmus indicator
I agree with the advice you’ve given this boy— “Stand on Zanzibar” Down 47 “Spider Kiss” author Ellison
get the boyfriend’s okay or get out—but this boy 27 Panama currency named for an 1 Studio feedback 48 Energizing, with “up”
is already navigating the leather scene, WBAGI, explorer 2 Singer Newton-John 50 Mah-jongg pieces
and will continue to cheat on his boyfriend with or 29 Impressionist painter Mary 3 “Just chill, OK?” 54 Old party
without your guidance. 30 Classical architecture style 4 “___’Clock Jump” (Count Basie 56 Crossword editor Will Shortz’s
So continue to serve as this boy’s confidant 32 Chips to play song) paper, for short
and adviser, WBAGI, all the while pressing him 33 Manned space mission that gets car- 5 Prof’s helpers 58 Chris Cuomo’s former show, for
to do the right thing and leave his boyfriend. And ried out in the 1984 movie “2010” 6 Aptly-titled 2009 Michael Jackson short
we both know that he needs to leave his boyfriend, 39 Actress Turner documentary
WBAGI, not just get the boyfriend’s permission 40 “I won’t ___ guy who doesn’t own a 7 Run-down abode ©2010 Jonesin’Crosswords (editor@
to explore. If this boy’s interest in BDSM is so toolbox” (Kristy Swanson quote) 8 Pertaining to pee jonesincrosswords.com)
strong that he’s jumped into the deep end of the 41 Electronic device 9 Place for a manicure and seaweed For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-
pool—i.e., dungeon parties—he’ll never be happy 45 Villain’s evil laugh wrap 226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be
with a vanilla monogamist who grudgingly allows 49 Online world where people live and 10 Lamb’s mom 18+. Or to bill to
him to play with other guys. pay taxes in 2010, according to Tom 11 Written agreement your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548.
And what does the guy sitting next to me on Clancy’s “Net Force” series 12 Brunch dish Reference puzzle #0457.
this airplane think?
“The guy with the boyfriend should do
what the other guy, the leather guy, says,” says
TGSNTMOTA. “Because the leather guy has a
good head on his shoulders, and the guy with
the boyfriend should listen to the leather guy and
leave the other guy, the boyfriend guy, and see
other guys.”
Um... thanks, TGSNTMOTA!
I’m an 18-year-old hetero male college
student. I’m in a relationship with an awesome
girl. I’m dominant; she’s submissive. I like name-
calling; she likes being called names. Our libidos
match, etc. There’s only one thing I’m into that she
isn’t: watersports.
The idea of urinating on a girl turns me
on. My fetish is by no means unusual, and I’m
perfectly comfortable saying, “I’m into piss!”
She, however, finds the idea unappealing, to say
the least. I know that I’m young and have a long
time to act on my fantasies, but this one seems like
it will always be difficult. Do you think that, down
the road, I will be able to find a girl who is willing
to get pissed on?
I Want To Pee On Someone
Watersports, for the kinkily inclined, is one
of those things that can seem almost unspeakably
perverse at 18 and not that big a deal at 28. Don’t
do it first thing in the morning, and don’t do it after
chowing through a plate of asparagus. Do it after
you’ve had a few beers and the piss is just so much
warm—and sterile—water.
So relax, IWTPOS, because the odds that
you’ll be with this girl forever—remember, you’re
18, she’s 18—are slim, and the odds that you’ll
meet a girl at some point who’s either into it or can
be talked into it are high.
And what does the guy sitting next to me on
this airplane—a very nice-if-nosey thirtysomething
dude from Lubbock, Texas—think?
“I have a thing for girls peeing on me,”
TGSNTMOTA whispered to me. “Because it’s like
a sort of female ejaculation thing. I met girls on the
Big Island who were into it, clear and nice, and—”
Okay, TGSNTMOTA, thanks for sharing
and—hey—it looks like we’re getting ready to
land, so... thanks for playing Savage Love.
mail@savagelove.net
March 11,, 2010 19