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A. You View
1. For your convenience, please use the order form supplied at the back of our catalog.
2. So that you can be served quickly, please bring your credit card to the store with you.
3. For the next week, you can receive a 25 percent discount on all our 15-inch monitors.
4. Do you need a bright, capable person to handle the bookkeeping in your office? If so, please
consider me for the job. I recently earned a business degree with honors from Mira Costa
College and am eager to put my skills to work for you.
5. Enclosed is the $25 refund you requested.
B. Positive
6. So that your credit rating can be preserved, please remit your payment within 10 days.
7. We offer refunds for merchandise that is returned in like-new condition.
8. We will ship your Baby Cry doll in 10 days.
9. Please indicate the blouse color you prefer on the enclosed order form and return it to us so
that we can mail your order.
10. The damage to your waterbed was caused by unusual conditions not covered by the
guarantee; however, we will be happy to send you a replacement valve for $9.95, plus
C. Bias free language
11. Maggie certainly is outgoing.
12. His job performance isnt affected by his wheelchair.
13. Pilots must have the ability to stay calm under pressure and they must be trained to cope with
any problem that arises.
14. Candidate Renata Parsons will attend the debate.
15. Sam Nugent is still an active sales representative.
D. Conciseness
16. The board cannot act with a consensus.
17. To surpass our competitors, we need innovations both in products and in company operations.
18. George McClannahan has wanted to be head of engineering a long time.
19. Dont pay more than you have to. You can get our new fragrance at $50.
20. The old calculator isnt good for solving hard problems.
21. The pay increases must be stopped before an unusually large debt mounts.
22. The executives all agreed that Ms. Jacksons strange ways were cause for a required meeting
with the companys personnel director.
23. The upcoming sale of the companys assets delighted the companys competitors.
24. Writing is important.
25. Prices will probably go up.
26. Well make a decision soon.
27. I will summarize this experiment when its over.
28. Several examples here show that Elaine cant hold a position very long.
29. A generous contribution to Mildred Cooks retirement party would be appreciated.
30. Generally reliable sources in Washington report today that the White House will soon make
an important announcement.
31. According to the rule, we cannot work overtime without permission.
E. Parallelism
32. We watched the countryside glide by as the train ran down the railroad tracks in a cloud of
33. Ruby saw the seashell lying on the shelf.
34. Judging by the information, I think we should buy the property.
35. Sandy took the whole afternoon to clean up her desk, which was cluttered and filthy.

F. Kick the Noun Habit

36. The meeting discussed deregulating the bank interest rate.
37. The government task force recommends that we should revise our procedures of evaluating
job applicant.
38. Assuring production department quality includes training employees, cooperating supplier,
and computerizing detection equipment.
39. The plan of reducing supermarket warehouse inventory will be implemented next month.
G. Proofreading
1. Its time that you learned the skills required to get what you want from suppliers and vendors.
2. Easy, flexible wireless calling plans start for as little as $19 a month.
3. Several criteria are used to select customers to receive this offer.
4. When PetFood Warehouse officially became PETsMART, Jim left the company for health
reasons. [Or PetFood Warehouse officially became PETsMART; Jim left the company for
health reasons.]
5. First-quarter sales gains are evident in both the grocery store sector (up 1.03%) and the
restaurant sector (up 3.17%), according to Food Institute estimates. [Or spell out percent in
both places]
6. Whatever your challenge, learning stronger negotiating tactics and strategies will improve the
way you work and the results that come from your efforts. [Or Whatever the challenge,
learning stronger negotiating tactics and strategies will improve the way people work and the
results that come from their efforts.]
7. To meet the increasing demand for Penta bottled drinking water, Bio-Hydration Research Lab
is expanding production capacity by 80 percent.
8. Seminars begin at 9 a.m. and wrap up at 4 p.m. [Or 9:00 a.m. /4:00 p.m.]
9. Temple, Texas-based McLane Co., a subsidiary of Wal-Mart, has bought a facility in
Northfield, Minnesota, that it will use to distribute products to customers such as convenience
stores, discount stores, and mass merchants.
10. The British Retail Consortium is releasing the third edition of its Technical Standards on
April 22, reported The New York Times.
11. SkillPath is the fastest-growing training company in the world because of our commitment to
providing clients with the highest-quality learning experiences possible.
12. According to Professor Charles Noussair of the Economics Department of Purdue University,
opinion surveys capture the respondent in the role of a voter, not in the role of a consumer.
13. The study found that people exposed to Purina banner ads were almost 50 percent more likely
to volunteer Purina as the first dog food brand that came to mind.
14. In a consent decree with the Food and Drug Administration, EOla International, a dietary
supplement maker, agreed not to sell any more products containing the drug ephedrine.
15. Dennis Dickson is looking for a company to both make and distribute plaidberries under an
exclusive license. Plaidberries are blackberries that are mixed with extracts and are used as a
G. Revision
Students should note that this message lacks professionalism. It is too informal and uses the I
attitude rather than the you attitude. The writer appears to be overconfident. Heres a revision:
Our e-tailing site, www.BestBabyGear.com, provides carefully selected, high-quality products
designed for newborns, infants, and toddlers. With their high quality and excellent reputation,
Inglesina strollers and high chairs would certainly be popular with our customers. We would like to
market these products through our award-winning website.
Would you please e-mail me at jthomas@bestbabygear.com with information on how we could
become an Inglesina retailer?