1) Assume comfort in any

interaction.
Our brain is an incredibly complicated instrument. Our
relationship with it, is a love-hate one. We think we have
control over it but usually something unconscious dictates our
actions.
In most of our social interactions, we find it difficult to feel
comfortable among strangers because our brain tries to
protect us from exposure.
This however isnt helping us when trying to be social and
meet new people, is it?
This is why assuming comfort is so powerful. Commanding
your brain to feel that you already know the person you are
about to meet puts you in a position of advantage. It increases
the chances of people showing interest in you and
consequently even liking you.

2) Pay attention to peoples

feet when you are
approaching them.
Interrupting people when they are in the middle of an
important conversation is one of the most annoying things to
do. It shows that you have zero knowledge of social dynamics
which will lead to unpleasant social situations.
When you approach a group of people while in a conversation,
pay attention to their bodies. If they turn only their torsos and
not their feet, it means they are in the middle of an important
conversation and they dont want you to interrupt them.
If they turn both torso and feet, it means you are welcome.
This is extremely important, because the right timing in such
situations may put you in a position of advantage, especially if
the conversation was boring for both sides.

3) Whenever you have an

argument with someone,
stand next to them and not
in front of them.

Weve all been in situations where out of nowhere the

conversation started escalating.
Unless you love drama, I would suggest you to avoid these
situations. You might have the best argument in the world, but
usually people get irritated when they feel they are wrong.
So, whenever you feel that the argument you have with
another person (especially friends its not cool to fight with
friends) creates tension, move next to them. You wont appear
much of a threat, and they will eventually calm down.

4) Whenever you need a favor,

open with I need your
help.
Admit it. We all love to get others to do stuff for us. Either
because we are lazy, or because we really need some help to
complete a task.
Social dynamics show that when it comes to platonic
relationships, nobody really likes an asshole. So whenever you
need a favor, start your sentence with I need your help.

In most cases, people will accept your request and help you
out. This occurs because we dont really like the guilt of not
helping someone out and we do like to be the one who is
capable of helping.

5) If you want people to feel

good, give them validation.
Rephrase what they just
told you.
We love validation. Most of our actions are the outcome of our
need for validation. So what is the best way to get people to
like you? Give them what they need of course. A simple
example, is when you are in a conversation with another
person and he says something really important for him. After
he finishes, rephrase what he just said in your own words. This
will make him think that you are a good listener and that you
are really interested in him. It makes him feel he is the center
of attention. Thats validation right there.

Why Life Hacks Dont Work If You Dont Get Your

Shit Together First

6) If you want to get a positive

response from someone,
nod while you talk.
This one is extremely powerful and also a bit manipulative
especially if the person is suggestive. So use it with your own
responsibility and in an ethical way. Getting a positive
response from someone is usually what we want. Whether it is
making a sale, or promoting a viewpoint, we always want
people to get on board. Nodding while you try to deliver your
message is a powerful way to get the person to agree with you.
People usually like mimicking, so they will most probably nod
back while you talk. This will subsequently communicate to
their brains that they have to agree with you.

7) Want to see if someone is

paying attention to what you
are saying? Fold your arms.
Usually when we are in the middle of a conversation and
especially if we talk about something very important to us, we
get lost in our talking and rarely pay attention to whether the
other person is following or not. So instead of losing time

talking to a person who is distracted and might not even be

interested in what you are saying, do this. Fold your arms
while talking and see if the other person follows your move. If
the other person is observing you and pays attention, they will
most likely mimic you.

8) Having trouble
remembering names?
Repeat the other persons
name during the
conversation.
I suck at remembering names. I usually dont even listen to the
other person when he says his name the moment we get
introduced to each other. So usually, I ask a friend to
introduce himself to the person so I can listen to his name. But
then I forget it again. Awkward. Remembering names is very
important because we feel important when someone mentions
us. So the moment you meet someone repeat his name.
Example: Hi my name is Alex Nice to meet you Alex. So,
Alex how do you know John? And continue to repeat his
name throughout the conversation.

9) If you ask someone a

question and they only
partially answer, just wait.
They will keep talking.
This is a very common situation when you dont know the
other person that well or your question wasnt clear enough. If
they finish the answer without providing a full answer, just
wait. Stay silent and keep eye contact. If the tension becomes
unbearable, raise your eyebrows. It puts a bit of pressure on
them but it communicates that you show interest. It also subcommunicates that you are a person that usually gets what he
wants.

10) People usually focus on

the emotion and not on the
subject.
This is very useful in public speaking but also in building
rapport with an acquaintance. Whenever you introduce
yourself to new people, most probably they have already heard
what you are about to say. Well thats not a problem. Even if
you want to talk about the most boring topic in the world,

make sure of one thing: Always try to evoke emotions. From

my experience the 3 emotions that you want to evoke are:
Excitement Laughter: Everyone likes to laugh Intrigue:
Leave a little mystery so the other person has to invest energy
to hear more. Dont be purposely distant, but avoid verbal
diarrhea.
There are many techniques to turn a boring
conversation into an exciting and intriguing one, but
here are a couple of my favorites:

Pause: A lot of the time when we want to keep

someones attention, we tend to talk really fast, but
this subcommunicates neediness and nervousness. A
well-placed pause can create tension that makes your
words have more gravitas.

Tone and Inflection: No one finds monotone

exciting. Switch up your tone of voice from deep for
declarative statements, to high inflection when you
want to leave them guessing.

Paint pictures and compose symphonies in

their mind with sensory details: When telling a story,
take the person youre talking to on an emotional
journey by describing the colors, sounds, textures,
tastes, smells, and how they made you feel. This will

cause their mirror-neurons to fire off, making it easier

for them to imagine actually being there with you.
So if you want to be memorable, focus on the emotion behind
the words. People may forget what you say, but they will never
forget how you make them feel.

READ: 8 Ways to be UBER Charismatic

11) Confidence is more

important than knowledge.
Two young candidates walked into the interview office to apply
for the same job. The first one had a Phd, two Masters and a
Bachelors degree. The second one had just a Bachelor. The
first one was kind of shy, didnt talk much, his body language
was turned inward. The second one had an upright posture,
was looking the interviewers directly in the eyes, showed a lot
of interest in the job and his answers where emitting
confidence. We dont have to tell you who got the job.

12) Fake it until you make it.

No one became an expert on anything over night. However,
the learning process in everything you do is accelerated by
commanding your brain to think what you want it to think. In

simple words. You are what you believe you are. You are
confident if you believe you are confident You are attractive if
you believe you are attractive You are extrovert if you believe
you are extrovert If you want to look deeper into this idea look
up two words. Neuroplasticity andbrain rewiring.

13) Pose in a Power Stance.

This is similar to the previous point, but more concrete than a
mantra or belief. Go stand in the mirror, put your hands on
your hips, thrust your pelvic forward, pull your shoulders up,
back and down, open your chest, tilt your head up, and force
the biggest smile you can possibly manage to fit across your
face. Even if you consciously know youre just faking it, your
brain cant tell the difference, and will release endorphins to
match your body position. This can feel silly, but it really
works.

14) If you want to be

persuasive, try and reduce
the use of the words I
think and I believe.

I dont really feel the need to elaborate on this one. Obviously

these words do not evoke confidence and the other person will
most probably not take you seriously. Change them to I know
and I will instead.

15) A clean and organised

environment affects your
mood, productivity, and
others perception of who
you are.
How many times have you waken up without any motivation
at all? How many times have you started working on
something without being able to get focused and inspired?
Next time this happens, take a look around you. Is your
environment clean and well-organized? If not, take some
minutes to clean it up and put everything into place. You will
feel refreshed and reborn and productivity will spark
immediately. But not only that, you will come across as caring
and punctual, two highly esteemed traits. Why do think most
of the big companies pay so much attention to creating the
best working environment for their employees? They know
what makes them happy and how it affects their productivity.

16) Want to find out which

people are close to each
other within a group and
who is perceived as the
leader?
Pay attention to who is looking at each other when everyone in
the group laughs at a joke. People instinctively look at and
agree with the person they feel closest to within the group.

17) Whenever you call a

person you want to meet,
show excitement!
Always have this in mind. Excitement is contagious. Why do
you think the music video from Pharrell Williams Happy
got so many views and so many people were talking about it?
People love excitement! It is like an escape from their boring
lives. Never forget that.

(You can mirror this and show disappointment if somebody

lets you down, making them painfully aware of their hurtful
actions.)

18) Want to build rapport and

gain respect? Match body
language.
This is quite a common topic among body language experts
and works well if you want to gain respect from a person that
has high value.
Example:
You are in a social situation where a person has higher value
among others within the group. He is the center of attention
and he totally enjoys it. How do you match his value? By
befriending him!
If you want his respect and attention the best thing to do when
you approach him is to match his body language and speaking
patterns. If he has open body language and he talks with
excitement and joy, dont go there with crossed arms and with
an attitude of negating his words.

Approach him with the same amount of excitement and show

openness and interest.

19) When someone insults

you, either ignore him or
mock him. Never lose
temper. Always control the
frame.
Haters are everywhere. The more you feed them with hate, the
stronger they become. Never lose your temper. This is a great
example of how to deal with a hater. Enjoy!

19) Stand up straight, have

warm hands and always
keep eye contact.
Keep a straight posture and walk like a born leader. This subcommunicates confidence and others will respect
you automatically.
Keep your hands out of your pockets. If you dont know what
to do with them, it is better to fold your arms rather than keep

them inside your pockets.

Keep your hands warm. If you have a warm hand when you
shake somebodys hand, you immediately become a more
desirable person to get along with. Secret Tip wash your
hands with warm water often to keep them warm ortake cold
showers.
You have heard this a thousand times. Here is the 1001st.
never lose eye contact! Losing eye contact is like losing your
confidence. One cool trick when first meeting someone is to
focus on their eye color and smile at the same time. The eyes
are the gateway to the soul, and taking the extra second to gaze
shows you are confident and present. (Be sure to move your
eyes away periodically, a constant stare will creep people out.)

20) The Benjamin Franklin

Effect.
The Ben Franklin effect is a psychological finding:
A person who has done someone a favor is more likely to do
that person another favor than they would be if they had
received a favor from that person. Similarly, one who harms
another is more willing to harm them again than the victim is
to retaliate.

This is an unbelievable finding. In social situations, you can

hack this by making someone do something small for you,
then asking for your true favor. Its such a small favor that they
will say yes, and due to cognitive dissonance their brain will
rationalize that they must like you enough to do you a favor in
the first place. This is also called the foot-in-the-door effect.

21) Dont be afraid to touch

another person.
Touching someone on the shoulder or their knees creates an
emotional and physical bond. Especially during moments of
joy, laughter and excitement touching positively reinforces
these traits. If youre uncomfortable with touching, remember
12, fake it until you make it.

22) Use the door-in-the-face

hack.
The opposite of foot-in-the-door. Make an unreasonably large
request that will most likely be turned down (but if it isnt then
thats even better!), and follow up with your true intended,
more reasonable request. The other person will be more likely
to agree to the second request.

23) Always frame a request as

a choice.
No one likes to feel pressured into doing something they dont
want to do. By subtlety rephrasing a request, you can make the
person feel like they came to the decision on their own terms.
Homeless people who say things like, its up to you if you
want to donate or not end up making more money than those
who simply ask for money. The same is generally true for
bands that offer pay what you want payment structures for
their music. They know you can easily download their music
for free off the internet, so they encourage you to pay what you
feel is right.
A slightly more aggressive technique is the assumptive close:
This is a classic sales technique that can be used in any social
situation. Instead of asking for permission, do you want to
donate/go on a date/get something to eat assume that the
person already does. Of course, you cant just force someone to
do something, but a leading question can nudge them in the
right direction: Would you like to donate 5 dollars or 10
dollars?

Now instead of simply saying yes or no, they have to actively

deny your request and feel like a naysayer.

24) If you work in a bar or in

customer service of any
kind
Put a mirror behind you at the counter. When an angry
customer approaches you, he will have to see himself in the
mirror and will most probably calm down. Nobody likes
ruining his image.

25) Chew gum if you are

nervous.
Evolutionarily speaking, our brains assume that if we are
eating then we arent in any immediate danger, so the fight or
flight response is weakened.

There you have it. The 25 most useful psychological

life hacks that can help you gain advantage in
social situations. Use them wisely.