Now What? Facing Learning Disabilities and Attention Deficit Disorder

The
T.O.L.D.
Try On Learning Disabilities
Now
What?
Facing Learning Disabilities &
Attention Deficit Disorder
By Barbara Allison R.N. and Mary-Jane Hardie
The
T.O.L.D. Workshop Society
is a non-profit, volunteer organization, working through public
awareness to support, educate and advocate for individuals and families
affected by learning disabilities and/or attention
deficit hyperactivity disorder.
© April 1998
T.O.L.D. Workshop Now What? Revised 2010
This book is dedicated to
Audrey Farnden
who made a difference
with
her energy, passion
and belief
in the power of parents
helping parents.
Table of Contents
Page
About This Guide Book 1
Now What? A Note To Parents 2
If You Are Worried 6
Learning Disabilities (LD) 8
Seeking Help LD 9
Receiving the Results 11
Frequently Asked Questions 13
Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD) 16

Seeking Help ADHD 17
Receiving the Diagnosis 19
Frequently Asked Questions 21
Medication 25
FAQ About Medication 27
Where to Begin – The Acceptance Process 29

What is Advocacy? 30
Keep A File 31
Parent / Teacher Meetings 36

Table of Contents Continued
Page
The Informal Parent / Teacher Meeting 37
The Formal Parent / Teacher Meeting 38
The Teacher Requested Meeting 39
Attending the Meeting 40
Advocating in the Education System 42
Example Letter # 1 43
Responsibilities 48
The District Ladder 49
Final Thoughts 50
References 52
Creative Commons
Checklist and Strategy Guide by TOLD Workshop is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-
Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License.
Based on a work at toldworkshop.wordpress.com.

About This Book
This book is written by parents for parents. We offer our experience and
emotions to others who may find themselves in similar situations. Finding help
from professionals with current knowledge about learning disabilities and
attention deficit disorder was difficult for us and the struggle to keep our
children from further setbacks brought us to this point. We hope that our
experience will help other parents through the challenges ahead.
In this book we have used “he” instead of “she”. This was only done to simplify
the writing and because we are both the mothers of sons. We are aware that
just as many girls may be affected by learning disabilities and/or ADHD,
although higher numbers of boys are diagnosed due to their more obvious
characteristics. Girls tend to have more subtle characteristics but in no way
does this mean that their challenges are any less.
For more on specific characteristics and strategies for learning disabilities and
attention deficit disorder, we offer information in the T.O.L.D. Workshop
Checklist and Strategy Guide.
Creative Commons
Checklist and Strategy Guide by TOLD Workshop is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License.

Now What?
A Note To Parents
If it is unexpected, or even if we suspect, it is still often a shock to

be told our child is dealing with learning disabilities (LD) and/or
attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). What does this
mean? What do we do? So many questions race through our
minds. There can be an overwhelming feeling about the future.
Now What?
Realize that you can’t do everything at once. To address the areas

where your child will need help, you may have to prioritize and work
at this process slowly. To suddenly implement strategies, changes,
tutors, therapies, etc. will quickly burn you out, possible shut down
your child or bring added upheaval to the family.
Begin the process by learning as much as possible LD or ADHD.

As a place to start, the last chapter of this book will give you
suggestions of books and DVDs. It is great to first get an overall,
“big” picture of LD or ADHD and then begin to narrow down to the
information that applies to your child.
2
A Note To Parents Continued
Each of our children bring their own personality and combination of

learning disabilities or attention deficit disorder to the picture. We
need to see how our child fits in that picture. Learning as much as
possible about LD and ADHD will also help to work through the
emotions parents experience. As parents, we will be the one
constant in our children’s lives – professionals will come and go.
KNOWLEDGE is the very best tool we can have to address LD or
ADHD.
Not only are books, DVDs and the internet excellent resources to
gain knowledge, but other parents can be invaluable. Exchanging
information, experiences, frustrations and humour are in many ways
healing as well as educational.
Children with LD or ADHD will face many challenges and defeats in

their lives. A knowledgeable parent can be instrumental in keeping
their child on a constructive path. Our children need someone to
fight for them, believe in them and love them unconditionally. This
is so much easier when we understand. The non-visible aspect of
LD or ADHD can make it difficult to remember the challenges they
face. If we understand, as best we can, it is often easier to remain
calm, patient and accepting.
3
Your child need awareness and knowledge too. He’ll need to

understand why he requires strategies* or accommodations* and
he’ll have to learn how to go about getting them. This too, is a
process better done slowly. The rate at which a child will gain this
knowledge and understanding will depend upon his acceptance and
willingness. At times this may be a challenge in itself. Hang in
there! It is a lifelong necessity.
At home as well as at school, it is often better to address only one

or two areas at a time. If mornings are chaotic, you may choose
tasks of personal grooming and organization of school books: work
on those areas until they run smoothly before adding a new task. If
this means that for a while mom or dad make the bed – then, so be
it.
It often takes several tries to find a strategy that works and different
stages in a child’s life may require a change in the strategy.
Children will often develop their own strategies and as parents we
need to watch, learn and guide them on the best use of that
strategy. We must also help others to see the strategy as useful.
For example: A child who places his head down on his desk while
the teacher is reading a story or giving lengthy verbal instruction
may be seen by the teacher as tired or not paying attention.
4
This child, in fact, may be placing his head on the desk as a

strategy to block out visual distractions so that he can concentrate
better on the verbal instructions or story.
For both parent and child, a support system can have tremendous
value. If a friend, grandparent or other relative is willing to learn
about LD or ADHD and spend time with the child, there will be
benefits for both child and parent.
As you set out to acquire knowledge and understanding about your

child, we hope you will be able to use much of the information in this
book. You may not always be successful in helping achieve goals
for your child but through the act of trying, you will show your child
that you believe in him.
***Strategy***
A planned intervention done to help one with areas of challenge.
For example: If your child loses track of time he could use a watch
with an alarm as a reminder.
*** Accommodation***
An alteration to one’s environment to help with areas of challenge.
For example: Having a quiet place and extra time to wrote tests.

Revised 1998, 1999, 2009
If You Are Worried
N Document
Write down observations and feelings about your concerns. This will be
useful information if you decide to seek diagnosis from a physician or
psychologist. It will also help you have a clearer picture of your child’s
strengths, weaknesses and behavioural patterns.
F Talk
Talk to your child’s teacher about your concerns. Find out if your
concerns are realistic or shared.
Remember that children will often hold it together at school and release
their true feelings (frustration, anger helplessness, etc.) at home where
they are in a safe environment – free from the criticism and observation
of their peers.
Talk to your family physician. Does your child need a physical

examination, an eye or hearing test? Doing this will help rule out other
conditions which may be affecting your child.

If You Are Worried Continued
Listen
Listen to what your child tells you.
For example: If there are a lot of tears over school work and your
child tells you the work is too hard, maybe it is.
☺ Feel
Listen to your “gut feelings”. If you continue to feel that something
is wrong despite reassurances from others, then don’t give up.
Find someone who will listen and take your concerns seriously.
Learn
Learn everything you can about learning disabilities or attention
deficit disorder.
Attend programs, workshops and conferences offered in your

community. Research information on the internet.
Local libraries and bookstores also carry excellent books and DVDs
on these subjects. Your local Learning Disabilities Association may
have a resource library.
Remember,
you know your child best!

Now
What?
Learning Disabilities
Seeking Help
Receiving The Results
Frequently Asked Questions

Seeking Help
If you Suspect Learning Disabilities (LD)
If you are concerned your child may have learning disabilities, a

psychoeducational assessment needs to be done by a registered
psychologist. This assessment will determine areas of strength as
well as well as the severity in areas of challenge.
In many school systems, a psychoeducational assessment is often

necessary before strategies and accommodations are implemented.
It is important an assessment be done as soon as possible if it
appears that strategies and accommodations are necessary to help
meet your child’s needs.
The psychoeducational assessment should consist of extensive

history taking and a variety of tests to assess your child’s verbal and
nonverbal performance in different areas.
This assessment can be done by the school registered psychologist

or by a private registered psychologist of your choice.
If done through the school psychologist, waiting lists are often

lengthy. If done privately, a cost is involved.
9
Seeking Help (LD) Continued
If you proceed with an assessment, these are some questions you may
want to as the psychologist:
Is this testing for learning disabilities?
What can I expect to find out from this testing?
Will I receive an explanation and a written report?
What other sources of information are considered in the

assessment?
For example: prenatal history, infant and child development,
report cards, family history, pertinent medical information
Will my child’s school be involved?
How long will testing take?
When can I expect the results?
How much will it cost?
A psychoeducational assessment should take approximately

6 or more hours and is usually done over a couple of sessions.
Educational testing is often done by a resource room teacher

or learning assistance teacher to determine grade level for a
specific subject.
Educational testing is not a psychoeducational assessment.
10
Receiving the Results
Facing Learning Disabilities
It is important for the psychoeducational assessment to be explained to

you in detail with plain language. The assessment results can be
overwhelming and a great source of confusion. This can be a very
emotional time.
It is often helpful to take notes as you may be able to remember the

information better if it is in your own words.
Make sure you receive your own copy of the assessment and be sure
that any questions you ask are answered to your satisfaction.
Each child will have his own unique strengths as well as his own
challenges.
You may want to ask:
i In what area is my child having the most difficulty?
i In what areas are my child’s strengths?
i What are some strategies that can be put in place to help my

child at home and school
11

Receiving the Results (LD) Continued
i What are some strategies the teachers and support staff can
put in place at school?
i How can my child use his strengths to help with his areas of
challenge?
i How do these specific difficulties show up at home?

For example: Visual-Motor Integration difficulties can be
displayed by poor pencil skills or difficulty handling a knife
and fork.
After receiving the assessment results, parents often become

upset and overwhelmed.
Knowledge and understanding

are the most important
aspects of addressing learning disabilities.
A psychoeducational assessment
is only one of the tools in this process.
12

About Learning Disabilities
Q: What is a learning disability?
A: A learning disability is a non-visible neurological disability

which can affect specific areas of a person’s life. These areas
can include reading, writing, speaking, understanding spoken
language, mathematics, memory, reasoning, coordination and
social skills. People who have learning disabilities have the
potential for average or above average intelligence and often
have areas of considerable strength.
______________________
Q: Do people with learning disabilities have problems in all

these areas?
A: It is common for learning disabilities to appear in combination.

It is less common to have learning disabilities in all areas or
to have only one learning disability.
_______________________
Q: How common are learning disabilities?
A: It is estimated that approximately 10% of the population have

learning disabilities.
13

Frequently Asked Questions About LD Continued
Q: How do you find out if you have a learning disability?
A: Diagnosis is made by a registered psychologist through a

Psycho-educational assessment ( see page 9). This assessment
should show areas of strength as well as areas of difficulty.
_____________________
Q: Are there degrees to which a person can have learning

disabilities?
A: Yes. A psycho-educational assessment will show the degree to

which a learning disability exists. Learning disabilities can be
mild, moderate of severe. It is not always the severity that
presents the greatest challenge. Occasionally, certain
combinations of learning disabilities present greater challenges.
____________________
Q: What causes learning disabilities?
A: The exact cause of learning disabilities is unknown, however,

there is a genetic tendency for learning disabilities to run in
families. Illness or trauma in infancy may also present learning
disabilities.
14
Frequently Asked Questions About LD Continued
Q: Can you outgrow a learning disability?
A: You do not outgrow a learning disability. Adults may say they had
learning disabilities as a kid but do not have them any more. After
leaving school, adults can choose to avoid those tasks which
present a challenge to them. They may also have learned
strategies and techniques for dealing with those areas of challenge.
It therefore may seem that they no longer have learning disabilities.
______________
Q: Do more boys than girls have learning disabilities?
A: More boys are diagnosed yet there may be just as many girls who
have learning disabilities. The behaviour that often results from
learning disabilities is less obvious for girls.
If we believe in our children,

they in turn,
will believe in themselves.
15

Now
What?
Seeking Help
Receiving The Diagnosis
FAQ About ADHD
Stimulant Medication
FAQ About Medication
16
Seeking Help
If you suspect Attention Deficit Disorder
If you are concerned about ADHD, talk to your family physician.

Your doctor may want to refer your child to a specialist – a
pediatrician or psychiatrist.
Many parents feel that having their child see a psychiatrist is

unnecessary. However, psychiatrists are often very knowledgeable
about ADHD and its impact on the family.
There is no test for ADHD.
The diagnosis for ADHD is done by the doctor through extensive

history taking.
Some questions that you may be asked:
Were there any difficulties with the pregnancy or birth?

When did your child first walk, talk, etc.?
Did your child have any major illnesses and/or accidents?
Does your child seem to be accident prone?
17

Seeking Help ADHD Continued
Is there a family history of any major illnesses?

For example: diabetes, thyroid problems, etc.
How well does your child get along with his peers group?
Does he have a lot of friends or does he tend to play alone?
Does your child have difficulty following instructions?
Does your child have any hobbies?
Has anyone in the family had difficulty with school, work or

relationships?
Your and your child’s teacher may each be asked to fill out a
questionnaire about your child.
Your doctor may want to see past report cards. Comments on report
cards are often informative.
Often, children who have ADHD may also have learning disabilities –
whether mild, moderate or severe. Your physician may want to see the
psycho-educational test results if you have had an assessment done.
18

Receiving the Diagnosis
As the diagnosis for ADHD is made by a physician through

extensive history taking, it may be necessary for you to make a
number of visits to the doctor before a diagnosis is reached
(see page 17).
Often children with ADHD are very calm and focused when they
visit the doctor. Therefore, the diagnosis for ADHD should not be
made by only observing the child during a brief office visit. Children
with ADHD frequently have lengthy periods of intense concentration
– usually when they are doing something they like, something they
are good at or when the situation is novel.
The doctor needs to explain attention deficit disorder to you and

why they feel that your child may or may not have it. It is also
important for other medical conditions to be ruled out.
Suggestions of what you can do to help, where you can go to get

more information and what needs to be done at school should be
included.
Be sure to ask questions.

19

Receiving the Diagnosis for ADHD Continued
Be cautious of anyone purporting to have tests to determine a

diagnosis for ADHD. Any tests that may be given should only be a
part of the information gathering process. A test does not
determine the diagnosis.
If you are feeling uncomfortable with the diagnosis or the diagnostic

process, it may be necessary to seek another opinion.
Follow
Your “gut” feelings…
…You know
your child best!
20
Receiving the Diagnosis for ADHD Continued
Be cautious of anyone purporting to have tests to determine a

diagnosis for ADHD. Any tests that may be given should only be a
part of the information gathering process. A test does not
determine the diagnosis.
If you are feeling uncomfortable with the diagnosis or the diagnostic

process, it may be necessary to seek another opinion.
Follow
Your “gut” feelings…
…You know
your child best!
20
About ADHD
Q: What is ADHD?
A: Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurological

condition which affects the chemicals of the nervous system that
are responsible for the transmission of nerve impulses to and
from the brain. (neurotransmitters). These chemicals are not
present at the correct levels and therefore interrupt the normal
process. One area of the brain that seems to be affected is the
frontal lobe ( the impulse control centre).
____________________
Q: What are the characteristics of someone with ADHD?
A: The term attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is somewhat

deceptive. A more appropriate name might be attention variability
disorder.
There are three predominant types of ADHD.
1. The Inattentive Type: The person has difficulty paying attention

to an activity for an appropriate length of time.
21

Frequently Asked Questions About ADHD Continued
For Example: They may be intensely focused on an activity but

lose interest after a short period or they may be playing attention to
other activities rather than the desired one.
2. Impulsive/ Hyperactive Type:
Impulsivity: The person has difficulty with self control beyond what
is expected for his or her age.
For Example: They may have great difficulty waiting their turn,
frequently interrupt others or act on desires without thinking about
consequences first.
Hyperactivity: The person moves and/or talks too much or too

fast. It can also be demonstrated by feelings of restlessness. In a
few people the activity imbalance appears as hypoactivity, where
the person moves and talks at a slower speed than others.
Hyperactivity does not determine the diagnosis.
3. Combined Type: The person displays a variety of

characteristics of inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity.
22

Frequently Asked Question About ADHD Continued
Q: Doesn’t everyone experience impulsivity and distractibility?
A: Yes, these are all normal human characteristics. The difference

is people with ADHD experience them with greater intensity,
frequency and duration. To the point where their every day life
is affected and problems are presented.
____________________
Q: What causes ADHD?
A: No one really knows what causes ADHD. Often more than one
family member has ADHD which suggests a genetic link. While
no one gene has been found, many researchers feel that a
combination of genes may be responsible. ADHD symptoms
could also result from illness or trauma during childhood.
____________________
Q: How common is ADHD and why do more boys have it?
A: Statistics show that approximately 5 - 7% of the population has

ADHD. Prior to 1994, 8 times as many boys than girls were
diagnosed with ADHD. It is now believed that just as many girls
ash boys have ADHD but symptoms for girls tend to be more
subtle and difficult to identify.
23

Frequently Asked Questions ADHD Continued
Q: Some days my son who has ADHD is extremely impulsive

and distractible and other days he’s not. Why is this?
A: It is very common for symptoms of ADHD to come and go.

The only thing consistent with someone who has ADHD is that
they are consistently inconsistent. There are many other factors
which can affect the severity and frequency of symptoms. For
example: stress, diet exercise, environment, learning disabilities.
____________________
Q: My son gets good grades at school but has great difficulty

with his social life and getting along with others. Could he
still have ADHD?
A: Yes. Not all people with ADHD will have difficulty with school
work. If you have concerns, a physician needs to be consulted
for a correct diagnosis.
____________________
Q: Can someone have dyslexia as well as ADHD?
A: Yes. It is common for people with ADHD to also have learning

disabilities. LD is often overlooked because of the behaviour
associated with ADHD. When the LD is addressed, the symptoms
of ADHD often become less severe.
24

Medication
Stimulant medication (eg. – Ritalin) is commonly prescribed for

children with ADHD. Antidepressants can also be prescribed to treat
ADHD.
Medication for children with ADHD is not always necessary and in

some cases is not always effective. If you and your doctor feel that
medication is appropriate, then it should not be the only form of
treatment. Parents need to assess lifestyle and put structure,
alterations and strategies in place which help with those areas of
challenge. Many times when the appropriate strategies and lifestyle
changes are made, the need for medication diminishes.
Learning disabilities may also be present and can be overlooked

because of the behaviour displayed. Once learning disabilities are
addressed, the need for medication may also decrease.
If your doctor feels that medication is necessary to help treat your

child, be sure to ask what the medication will and will not do for your
child. Inquire about side effects and what you can do to help evaluate
the effectiveness of the medication.
25

Medication Continued
Your doctor will want to follow up after prescribing medication for your
child. This is done to evaluate the effectiveness of the medication
and to make sure your child is responding to the medication
appropriately. Dosage for stimulant medication varies from child to
child so your doctor will want to ensure that your child is receiving
the correct dosage.
Remember…
Medication plays only one part in the

treatment
for some people with ADHD.
Lifestyle alterations, strategies and

education on the part of all those
involved with a person
with ADHD
is vital.
26

About Medication
Q: Why would you give a stimulant to someone who is already

hyperactive? Won’t this make them worse?
A: ADHD is a neurological condition in which areas of the brain

responsible for impulse control are sluggish. This impaired
control results in behaviour (distractibility and/or impulsivity
with/without hyperactivity) which is inappropriate for the person’s
age. Stimulant medication “stimulates” the sluggish control
centre so the person is better able to regulate their behaviour.
____________________
Q: If stimulant medication doesn’t work, does it mean that you

don’t have ADHD?
A: Stimulant medication does not always help everyone. However, if

it doesn’t seem to help, it does not mean that your don’t have
ADHD. Adjustments to the dosage or a different medication may
be necessary.
27

Frequently Asked Questions About Medication Continued
Q: Does medication cure ADHD?
A: Medication does not cure ADHD. It may help certain symptoms

and/or improve behaviour but it does not make ADHD go away.
With the inconsistent nature of ADHD, symptoms may seem to
“come and go”. There are many environmental factors that also
affect symptoms of ADHD such as stress, diet illness, lack of
sleep, etc.
____________________
Q: Does stimulant medication “drug” the child?
A: Stimulant medication does not “drug” the child or make

them sedated. If a child appears sluggish, they are most likely
on the wrong dose of medication. Your doctor should be
consulted to correct the dosage. Each child is unique and a
correct dose for one is not necessarily the correct does for
another.
28

Where to Begin
The Acceptance Process
Once you receive the assessment or diagnosis and realize that your
child faces the challenges of learning disabilities and/or attention deficit
disorder, it is important to be aware that this may be a very emotional
time for you and your family.
You may experience emotions such as denial, anger, frustration,

sadness, isolation, disappointment or GUILT!
It is not uncommon to retreat from acceptance back to a level such as

denial or anger when your child takes on new challenges or reaches
different stages.
For example: adolescence
It is helpful to remember that both parents may not go through this

process with the same emotions at the same time.
For example: Mom may feel guilt while Dad is in denial.
It is important to talk openly about your feelings with your spouse,

partner, friend or support group.
29

What is Advocacy?
If your child has attended preschool, swimming lessons or even had

a hair cut your have advocated for them…You spoke on their behalf
while seeking their best interest.
As parents of children with learning disabilities and/or attention

deficit disorder, advocating for our children becomes a necessity
during their school years.
We have to advocacy challenges. First we must attempt to access

what is required to best address our child’s needs. Secondly we will
have to educate our child to advocate for himself. This is a
necessary life skill.
We must look at professionals as partners and remember that we

are part of the team. It is important to not only intervene when there
is a difficulty but to appreciate the many positives and the value
others have in our children’s lives.
“Fairness doesn’t mean that everyone gets

the same.
Fairness means everyone gets what he or she

needs.”
Richard Lavoie
30

Keep A File On Your child
A important tool for parents to have is a file with past and up to date
information on their child. A three ring binder works well. When
talking to doctors, teachers, psychologists and other professionals,
it is often helpful to have your child’s binder with you for easy
access to information they may request.
The following is a suggestion list of items you may want to

keep in your child’s file.
A Photograph
34 A photograph of your child will make it much more personal

when you are advocating. Update the photograph each year.
It is fun to watch your child “grow” over the years.
Medical Information
When organizing your file consider some of these questions:
Z Is there a family history of illness or any conditions?
Z Does your child have a history of illness or any conditions?
Z Is there a family history of allergies?
Z Does your child have allergies
31

Keep A file Continued
Z Did your child suffer from frequent ear infections?
Z Has your child had any major injuries?

For example: head injury from a fall or car accident –
if so, to what extent?
Z Is your child on any medications?
Z Do your frequently need to take your child to the doctor?

It is common for children with LD/ADHD to have recurring
headaches, stomach aches, problems with eating and sleeping.
These are often signs of stress and could be some of the early
symptoms that something may be wrong. Other conditions also
need to be ruled out.
Prenatal Information
( if known)
o It is important to write down a brief description about the pregnancy

and delivery.
o Were there any complications or was everything routine?
32
Keep A File Continued
Infant Development
Did your child suffer from colic as an infant?
Did your child have difficulty with eating or sleeping routines?
Was your child an extremely easy baby?

For example: ate and slept well and rarely fussed
Was your child an extremely fussy baby?

For example: overly sensitive to sounds, light, activity, etc.
When did your child learn to sit up, crawl, walk, talk, etc.?
Did you fell that your child developed normally compared with other
children the same age?
Social Development
Did your child attend preschool?

Did they participate in activities?
Does your child worry more than other children?
Has your child attended any clubs? – Brownies or Cubs
Has your child taken any lessons or played any sports?
Were these good experiences for your child?
33
 Does your child have any special interests?
 How does your child fit into a group situation?
 Does your child often choose to play alone?
Schools
List the schools attended with the name of each grade teacher
and a brief summary of your child’s year.
Keep a copy of your child’s report cards from each year.
Keep samples of your child’s work from each year.
If your child attended learning assistance, speech therapy or
occupational therapy, keep a record of comments and strategies.
What are your child’s likes and dislikes about school?
Assessments, Reports and Tests

Make sure you have a copy of your child’s psycho-educational
assessment results and a list of the recommendations.
Include any other testing that your child may have had done.
Keep a copy and a history of hearing and vision checks.
34

Correspondence
N Include copies of all letters that your send and receive on behalf
of your child.
N Keep notes of all meetings, discussions and phone calls –

include dates, names of those attending, information on
what was said and what follow-up was required.
Other Information
N Keep track of expenses and all receipts – tutoring, medical

treatments, psychoeducational testing, counseling, therapies,
medications, etc. (You never know when they may be helpful.)
N Include any other information useful for an overall picture of

your child. With the file you won’t have to trust your memory
and much of this information is helpful to professionals when
they assess your child.
Someday your child’s file may make a great keepsake!
35
Parent / Teacher Meetings
Work As A Team
Parent / Teacher meetings are an extremely important part of

advocating for your son or daughter. When home and school work
together with consistency and open communication, the results
will be much more effective.
Many times, parents feel uncomfortable in a school situation,

especially if their experience at school was negative. Often, parents
are afraid they will hear upsetting comments about their child –
especially if the child seems to be struggling with schoolwork.
These are normal feelings and most parents will admit that
parent / teacher meetings produce some anxiety.
Understanding your own feelings about school before you go to

a parent / teacher meeting may be helpful. To be an effective
advocate for your child, work with your child’s teacher/s and
support staff to form a positive team approach.
Focus on what is best for your child!
36

Requesting An Informal Parent / Teacher Meeting
A request for an informal meeting with your child’s teacher is usually

done in person.
If you are dropping your child off at school you may want to request
10 minutes of their time after school. As if that is an appropriate
time for them.
Example:
“ Would it be possible to chat with you after school today
for about 10 minutes or would another time be better for you?
I have a question about John’s math.”
Example:
“Could I chat with you for 5 minutes right now or would
another time be better? I have a question concerning
John’s reading.”
Make sure you take only the time requested. If you ask for 10 minutes,
take only 10 minutes. If you are finding that you may need more time,
set up a more formal meeting at a date convenient to you and the
teacher.
37

Requesting A Formal Parent / Teacher Meeting
When requesting a “formal” meeting, it is best to contact the school

and make an appointment.
You may have to wait until the teacher can return your call in order to
set the date and time. This will ensure the meeting will not be rushed
for everyone in attendance.
If you run into difficulty you may want to ask the principal to help
arrange the meeting. This can be done with a phone call or you
could send a note or letter to the teacher with a copy to the principal.
When making the appointment, be sure to let the teacher know the
length of the meeting and some idea of what your wish to discuss. If
necessary, the teacher can come prepared with the appropriate
information.
You may want to request others attend the meeting.

For example: learning assistance teacher, speech therapist,
principal etc.
You may want to bring others to the meeting.

For example: spouse / partner, social worker, youth worker, etc.
38

The Teacher Requested Meeting
There are times when the teacher requests a meeting. This can be
unnerving particularly if the meeting was not anticipated.
Some Questions you may want to ask are:
j How long will you need?
j Who else will be attending?
j What is it about? You do not want to worry unnecessarily.

(The teacher may just want you to help with a class project!)
j If you need more time to prepare questions or gather

information, ask to set up a meeting at a more convenient
time.
39
Attending The Meeting
When attending a parent / teacher meeting it is important to be

prepared.
Some this you may want to remember are:
Be on time!
Take your child’s binder with you. All your child’s information
will be easily accessible. Even if you don’t need it you will

look like you came prepared.
Prepare a list of questions. It is often difficult to remember
questions when you are at the meeting.
Take a list of point you want to make.
Go prepared with a pen and paper. Make notes of points you
want to remember or suggestions the teacher offers you.
It is permissible to take someone along to take notes for you.

Inform the school ahead of time.
Listen to what the teacher has to say.
Stay calm even if you find you are becoming emotional.
40
Attending The Meeting Continued
Ask what you can do at home to help with your child’s schooling.
Clarify any requests the teacher may ask of you.

For example:
“So you would like me to read to my son every night
for 20 minutes?”
Follow up at the next meet with feedback.
Be sure to include positive statements about your child’s

schooling.
For example:
“John really enjoyed the unit on spiders this fall.”
Remember your dress and personal grooming sends a
message that the meeting and your child are important.
If another meeting is necessary, set the date and write it down.
Be sure to thank the teacher and any others at the end of the
meeting.
41

Advocating In The Education System
The education system can present challenges. Many parents at

some point may meet with obstacles. It is important to know the
process when advocating for your child. In each school district,
there will be a procedure which must be followed. It is important to
exhaust all efforts of resolution at each level before seeking help at
the next level. The two most important levels are at the school level
with the teacher and the principal.
The School
T Take your concerns to the teacher and try to work in a positive

way to resolve it.
T Be as calm and clear as possible and go with information to

back up your concern.
T Make notes of all meetings and phone conversations which

include date and time. Don’t trust your memory.
T If resolution is becoming difficult, put your concern in writing

and send a copy to the principal.
See: Advocating at The School Level Example #1 next page.

42

Advocating In the Education System Continued
The School Level - Example # 1
Dear Classroom Teacher:
I would like to thank you for the time and effort you have
put I trying to help my son John with his classroom work. I
can understand how challenging he is when you have many
other students to teach.
As you know, I am concerned that John may have a
learning problem and I would like to discuss further options
available to help meet my his needs at school. I feel that a
meeting with you, Ms. Principal, and ourselves might help
the situation. I will contact the school to set up an
appointment so that we may all agree upon a convenient
time. Thank you.
Yours truly,
Mrs. M. Concerned
cc Ms. Principal
43

Advocating in the Education System
The School Continued
If your concerns are still not resolved, request a meeting with

the principal.
Take a list of questions or points you wish to make.
Take notes of important points you want to remember.
Write a follow-up letter to the principal
This will help clarify points and avoid misunderstandings.

Include interventions and timelines agreed upon by both the
school and the parents.
See: Advocating at the School Level Example # 2 next page.
Remember:
It is important you make all efforts to resolve your concerns at the

school level. In some situations however, you may need to continue
the advocacy process at the district level.
44

The School Level - Example # 2
Dear Ms. Principal:

Thank you for meeting with my husband and myself on
February 12, 2010.
As you know, we have had concerns for the past six months as
our son John has been struggling with his school work. We are
worried that he may have learning disabilities.
It is our understanding that from now on his classroom work will
be altered and that you will arrange for him to be seen within the
month by the school psychologist for psycho-educational testing.
We have agreed to have his vision and hearing checked and
take him to his family doctor for a check-up. We will also phone to
arrange another meeting at the end of the month as suggested.
It is reassuring to know that there is now a plan of action and
we look forward to working with John’s teacher and the school to
best meet John’s needs. Thank you.
Yours truly,
Mrs. M. Concerned
45

Advocating in the Education System Continued
The District Level
Send a letter to the principal stating your continued concerns
and what result you expect.
Send a copy of this letter to the appropriate person at the
district level.
See: Advocating at the District Level Example # 3 next page.
Make sure that the principal is aware that a copy is being sent.
If you receive an unsatisfactory or no reply, direct your
following letter to the person who is next on the ladder.
Be sure to save copies of all letter that you send and receive
as well as documentation of all conversations in your file.
If you have not documented your attempts to rectify the
situation at the school level, the district personnel may

not address your concerns and could send you back to do so.
46

The District Level - Example # 3
Dear Ms. Principal:

This school year is rapidly coming to an end and my son
John has still not had his psycho-educational testing done.
As you stated at our meeting of February 12, 2010, our son
would receive this testing within a month. It is now May.
Our son’s school work has not been altered as his
teacher is awaiting the test results. John’s self esteem is
rapidly plummeting and he is now asking to stay at home.
He has had a complete physical examination by his doctor
and his hearing and vision have also been checked. All
results are normal and copies have been submitted for his
file.
I expect the psycho-educational assessment will be done
by the district psychologist within the next two weeks. I look
forward to hearing from you with the exact date.
Sincerely,
Mrs. M. Concerned
cc Coordinator of Special Education
47

When advocating for your child, it
is important to understand:
- the jobs and responsibilities of

others who are helping to meet
the needs of your child
- the responsibilities you have in

working with these people.
48
Advocating in the Education System Continued
The District Ladder
Make sure you know the name and title of the appropriate
person at the next level. Always have a clear understanding
of what the problem is and what solution you would like to
see.
The District Ladder Superintendent
For
Advocacy Assistant
Superintendent
District
Coordinator
Principal
Teacher
49

Final Thoughts
Success is vital in the life of a child with learning disabilities

or attention deficit disorder and it is important to find an area
where the child can experience success. Often sports, art or
drama, etc. will be an area where the child can shine.
Sometimes, no strength will be apparent so one needs to be
created. Perhaps the child could become the house, “Mr.
Fix-it” changing light bulbs or tightening screws that seem to
be loose. Maybe he makes the best French toast or pot of
tea and is highly in demand in the family. Daily assaults to
the child’s self esteem often require creative approaches by
the parent. As parents, one of the greatest challenges we
face is keeping the self esteem of our children intact.
Celebrate Every Success!
We hope this book has given you some basic tools to face these
challenges. We hope these tools will make the road a little
smoother.
50

You may not always be
successful
In achieving your goals…
…you will succeed however,

in showing your child
you
believe in him.
51
T.O.L.D. Workshop References
Amen, D. Windows into the ADD Mind.

Fairfield, California, Mindworks Press, 1997 ISBN 1-886554-08-0
Amen, A. A Teenagers Guide to ADD.

Fairfield, California, Mindworks Press, 1997 ISBN 1-886554-05-6
Barkley, Russell Taking Charge of ADHD.

New York, Guilford Press, 1995 ISBN 0-89862-099-6
Comings, David Tourette Syndrome and Human Behaviour

Duarte, California, Hope Press, 1990 ISBN 1-878267-28-0
Comings, David Search For Tourette Syndrome and Human Behaviour

Genes. Duarte, California, Hope Press, 1996 ISBN 1-878267-41-8
Cummings, R. Fisher, G. The Survival Guide for Kids With LD.

Minneapolis, MN., Free Spirit Publishing Inc., 1990 ISBN 0-915793-18-0
Cummings, R. Fisher, G. The School Survival Guide for Kids With LD.
Cummings, R. Fisher, G. The Survival Guide for Teenagers With LD.

Dornbush, M., Pruit, S.K. Teaching the Tiger.

Duarte, California, Hope Press, 1995 ISBN 1-878267-34-5
Hallowell, E.M., Ratey, J.J. Driven To Distraction.

New York, Touchstone, Simon & Schuster, 1994 ISBN 0-684-80128-0
Hallowell, E.M., Ratey, J.J. Answers To Distraction.

New York, Bantam Books, 1994 ISBN 0-553-37821-X
Hallowell, E.M., When You Worry About The Child You Love.
New York, Simon & Schuster, 1996 ISBN 0-684-80090-X
Hallowell, E.M., Worry.

New York, Pantheon Books, 1997 ISBN 0-679-44237-5
52

Hamaguchi, Patricia, Childhood Speech, Language and Listening Problems.

Toronto, Wiley & Sons nc., 1997 ISBN 0-471-03413-4
Hartmann, T. Bowman, J., Burgess, S., Think Fast! The ADD Experience.
Grass Valley, California, Underwood Books, 1996 ISBN 1-887424-08-3
Haerle, T. (editor) Children With Tourette Syndrome.

Woodbine House, 1992 ISBN 0-933149-44-1
Hipp, E., Fighting Invisible Tigers.

Ingersoll, Barbara Daredevils and Daydreamers.

Toronto, Doubleday, 1998 ISBN 0-385-48757-6
Kelly K., Ramundo P., You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?!
New York, Simon & Schuster, 1993 ISBN 0-684-80116-7
Latham P., Latham S., Succeeding In The Workplace.

Washington D.C. JKL Publilshers., 1990 ISBN 0-915793-32-6
Cummings, R. Fisher, G. The Survival Guide for Teenagers With LD.

Minneapolis, MN., Free Spirit Publishing Inc., 1994 ISBN 883560-03-9
Levine Mel Keeping A Head In School.

Cambridge, Mass. Educators Publishing Service Inc.1994 ISBN 0-8388-2069-7
Levine Mel Educational Care.

Levine Mel All Kinds Of Minds.

Lynn, George T. Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child.

Underwood Books, Inc. 1996 ISBN 1-887424-19-9
McCarney, S. Bauer, A. The Learning Diability Intervention Manual.

Hawthorn Educational Services Inc., Revised Ed. 1995
53

Moghadam, H., Attention Deficit Disorder: Hyperactivity Revisited.

Calgary, Alberta, Detselig Enterprises., 1998 ISBN 0-920490-78-6
Nowicki, S. Jr., Duke, M. Helping the Child Who Doesn’t Fit In.
Atlanta, Georgia, Peachtree Publishers, 1992 ISBN 1-56145-025-1
Osman, B.B. Learning Disabilities and ADHD.

New York, John Wiley & Sons Inc., 1997 ISBN 0-472-1551-1
Phelan, Thomas W. Surviving Your Adolescents.

Glen Ellyn, Illinois, Child Management Inc., 1993 ISBN 0-9633861-0-7
Ratey, J. Johnson, C., Shadow Syndromes.

New York, Random House, 1997 ISBN 0-679-43968-4
Rief, Sandra The ADD/ADHD Checklist.

New Jersey, Simon & Schuster, 1997 ISBN 0-13-762395-X
Schumm, J., Radencich, M. School Power: Strategies for Succeeding In

School. Free Spirit Publishing Inc., 1992 ISBN 0-915793-42-3
Smith, Sally L., No Easy Answers: The Learning Disabled Child at Home
and School. New York, Bantam Books, 1979 ISBN 553-27095-8
Stevens, Suzanne H. The Learning Disabled Child: Ways That Parents Can
Help. Winston-Salem, N.C. John F. Blair, 1991 ISBN 0-89587-036-3
Stevens, Suzanne H. Classroom Success for the Learning Disabled.

Winston-Salem, N.C. John F. Blair, 1984 ISBN 0-89587-036-3
Thomas, James, L. Do You Have Attention Deficit Disorder?

New York, Dell Books, 1996 ISBN 0-440-22260-5
Weiss, L. Attention Deficit Disorder In Adults.

Dallas, Texas, Taylor Publishing Co., 1992 ISBN 0-87833-979-5
Weiss, L. ADD On the Job: Making Your ADD Work For You.
Dallas, Texas, Taylor Publishing Co., 1996 ISBN 0-87833-917-5
54

DVDs
Brooks, Robert
Learning Disabilities and Self Esteem: Look What You’ve Done!
www.drrobertbrooks.com/products/index.html
Hallowell, Ed.
A.D.D. From A to Z
http://www.drhallowell.com/add-adhd/
Lavoie, Richard
How Difficult Can This Be? F.A.T. City Workshop.
http://www.ricklavoie.com/videos.html
Lavoie, Richard
Learning Disabilities and Social Skills: Last One Picked…
First One Picked On.
Lavoie, Richard
Learning Disabilities and Discipline: When The Chips Are Down
Creative Commons
Checklist and Strategy Guide by TOLD Workshop is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-
Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License.
55

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The

By Barbara Allison R.N. and Mary-Jane Hardie

About This Guide Book 1

Now What? A Note To Parents 2

If You Are Worried 6

Learning Disabilities (LD) 8

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD) 16

Where to Begin – The Acceptance Process 29

T.O.L.D. Workshop Now What? Revised 2010

The Informal Parent / Teacher Meeting 37

The Formal Parent / Teacher Meeting 38

The Teacher Requested Meeting 39

Attending the Meeting 40

Advocating in the Education System 42

The District Ladder 49

T.O.L.D. Workshop Now What? Revised 2010

T.O.L.D. Workshop Now What? Revised 2010

If it is unexpected, or even if we suspect, it is still often a shock to

Realize that you can’t do everything at once. To address the areas

Begin the process by learning as much as possible LD or ADHD.

Each of our children bring their own personality and combination of

Children with LD or ADHD will face many challenges and defeats in

Your child need awareness and knowledge too. He’ll need to

At home as well as at school, it is often better to address only one

This child, in fact, may be placing his head on the desk as a

As you set out to acquire knowledge and understanding about your

T.O.L.D. Workshop Now What? Revised 2010

If You Are Worried

Talk to your family physician. Does your child need a physical

T.O.L.D. Workshop Now What? Revised 2010

Attend programs, workshops and conferences offered in your

T.O.L.D. Workshop Now What? Revised 2010

T.O.L.D. Workshop Now What? Revised 2010

If you Suspect Learning Disabilities (LD)

If you are concerned your child may have learning disabilities, a

In many school systems, a psychoeducational assessment is often

The psychoeducational assessment should consist of extensive

This assessment can be done by the school registered psychologist

If done through the school psychologist, waiting lists are often

What can I expect to find out from this testing?

Will I receive an explanation and a written report?

What other sources of information are considered in the

Will my child’s school be involved?

How long will testing take?

When can I expect the results?

How much will it cost?

A psychoeducational assessment should take approximately

Educational testing is often done by a resource room teacher

Educational testing is not a psychoeducational assessment.

Facing Learning Disabilities

It is important for the psychoeducational assessment to be explained to

It is often helpful to take notes as you may be able to remember the

You may want to ask:

i In what area is my child having the most difficulty?

i In what areas are my child’s strengths?

i What are some strategies that can be put in place to help my

T.O.L.D. Workshop Now What? Revised 2010

i How do these specific difficulties show up at home?

After receiving the assessment results, parents often become

Knowledge and understanding

T.O.L.D. Workshop Now What? Revised 2010

Q: What is a learning disability?

A: A learning disability is a non-visible neurological disability

Q: Do people with learning disabilities have problems in all