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dropouts
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eating disorders
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Out-of-Control Parents
out-of-control parents
overuse injuries
sexual abuse
Shane Murphy, Ph.D.
steroids
Team of Experts
violence
Rose-colored glasses
There is a strong tendency in our
society to view participation in
sports in the most favorable light.
Children
are
encouraged
to
participate in organized youth sports
programs because they are thought
to promote such fundamental values
as character, teamwork, determination and commitment .
But this bias can be troublesome if it prevents us from seeing that problems in youth
sports exist. While we have recently come to realize that some professional athletes have
serious problems - drug and alcohol abuse, spousal violence, and acts of sexual
aggression - we have been much slower to recognize the problems that have developed in
youth sports.
Six problem areas
As I see it, there are six major problem areas that we need to address:
1. Out-of-control parents
Every parent who has been on the sidelines has seen instances of emotional abuse that
are too common in the world of youth sports: the mortified child whose mother is
screaming at the referee about a "blown call", or the despondent child who is being
verbally attacked by his or her parent or coach for some perceived lack of effort or for
making a "dumb" mistake
It has become fashionable to blame "pushy parents" for many of the excesses seen in
children's sports.
I think that this is a mistake.
Why do, time and again, well-meaning parents begin to act out of character as they get
caught up in the emotional roller coaster of their child's competitive situation?
In my view, it is because, for parents, the youth sports experience:
Is seductive: It isn't that bad parents make the youth sports experience a bad one.
It is that the strong emotions aroused by seeing their child locked in a competitive
struggle with others lures parents into acting in ways that end up hurting their
children, or their relationship with their children. The seductiveness of the youth
sports experience draws those involved into a tangle of emotions.
Provides an ego trip: There is a great deal of narcissistic appeal in sports
competition. Parents who fall into this trap begin to act impulsively, letting their
emotions get the better of them, and are often viewed by others as acting like children
rather than adults.
Exceeds some parents' ability to cope. Parents who lack the skills to cope with the
powerful emotions of ego gratification triggered in them by watching their child
compete are those most strongly affected by participation in youth sports programs.
They are the individuals who come to be viewed by others as out of control but who
believe that they are doing what is best for their child.
The question is often asked, is competition bad for children? We should also ask be
asking, "Is being a parent of a competitive youth sports participant bad for parents?"
Sometimes, a child isn't old enough for a parent to handle the stress of competition
pressures being placed on children who begin these dangerous practices at such a
young age. It suggests to me that the crisis we are facing is getting worse, not
improving.
Alcohol abuse: The statistics on alcohol abuse among student athletes are
alarming. In one study intercollegiate athletes were found to have the highest rates of
binge drinking of any group of students. In another study, male high school student
athletes in a middle class community were found to have rates of alcohol use than
other students. (There were no differences between female athletes and non-athletes).
Many sports have a long tradition of promoting alcohol consumption on a social basis
(such as keg parties).
These serious health problems would be cause for concern even if they affected only
older, more committed athletes. But when we see evidence that these problems are
filtering down to children in high school and even middle school, we should be deeply
concerned. No trophy or medal or national championship is worth destroying the health
of even one child.
5. Sexual abuse
One of the worst violations of the trust we place in the youth sports system is when young
athletes are sexually abused . Coaching youth athletes is an important responsibility
precisely because coaches are in a position of power in their relationships with children
and adolescents. Coaches who abuse that power and have sex with young athletes are a
very small minority (although, due in part to the shame and secrecy associated with such
abuses of power, it is hard to know how extensive the problem is). Their existence
requires that parents keep a watchful eye on their children . Parents who shirk their
responsibilities for their child and allow the young athlete to live with, or be in the care
of, a top coach may be making a much more serious mistake than the overinvolved
parent.
Read more: http://www.momsteam.com/team-of-experts/six-problems-in-youth-sports?
page=0%2C2#ixzz3QfQkTMcs
6. Violence in youth sports
Here are just three examples of the kind of youth sports violence that fills our newspapers
on an almost daily basis:
Unhappy about the unfair treatment his son received in the previous week's game,
a father sharpened the buckle on his son's football helmet like a razor, gashing five
players, one injured serious enough to require five stitches.
A youth baseball coach, feeling that the umpire had been unfair in his decisions,
stayed behind after the game was over to physically harass the umpire. He was just
sixteen years old.
After verbally abusing a basketball official, a female assistant basketball coach,
whose sister was in the game, attacked the official as he was starting to leave,
jumping on his back and hitting him. The reason? She was upset because she did not
agree with some calls he had made!
Apologists for this sort of behavior point out that professional sports on television are
often violent, such as some the big hits we see in hockey and football. But this argument
really has nothing to do with the violence associated with youth sports. The parents just
mentioned are not imitating the pro athletes they see on television - that violence takes
place within the game. What is disturbing about the violent behavior we see on the
sidelines and in the stands is that it takes place outside the game. Once again, these
parents are out of control, behaving in blind response to feelings of anger and frustration
generated by watching youth sports.
Meeting the needs of kids and adults
Despite these problems, I still believe that youth sports programs can do a great deal of
good for children and for families. There are many positive aspects of organized sports
for children.
But if we are to improve the programs we offer to our children, we need to acknowledge
and confront the problems. Not only do we need to understand that youth sports are not
just "games for kids," but we also need to understand the important roles they play in our
society and the powerful psychological pressures they exert on children, families, and
communities. We need to realize that youth sports programs are for adults as much as
children - perhaps more so. Until we recognize this fact, we will not be able to organize
programs that meet the needs of these involved adults and best meet the children's needs.
Dr. Shane Murphy is a sports psychologist in Connecticut and the author of Cheers and
Tears: A Healthy Alternative to the Dark Side of Youth Sports Today (San Francisco:
Jossey-Bass, 1999).
Read more: http://www.momsteam.com/team-of-experts/six-problems-in-youth-sports?
page=0%2C3#ixzz3QfQsMuc2