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Fiction OCTOBER 28, 2013 ISSUE

Samsa in Love
BY HARUKI MURAKAMI

T
G+

TABLE OF CONTENTS

IllustrationbyJavierJan.
HewoketodiscoverthathehadundergoneametamorphosisandbecomeGregorSamsa.
Helayflatonhisbackonthebed,lookingattheceiling.Ittooktimeforhiseyestoadjusttothe
lackoflight.Theceilingseemedtobeacommon,everydayceilingofthesortonemightfind
anywhere.Once,ithadbeenpaintedwhite,orpossiblyapalecream.Yearsofdustanddirt,
however,hadgivenitthecolorofspoiledmilk.Ithadnoornament,nodefiningcharacteristic.
Noargument,nomessage.Itfulfilleditsstructuralrolebutaspiredtonothingfurther.

Therewasatallwindowononesideoftheroom,tohisleft,butitscurtainhadbeenremoved
andthickboardsnailedacrosstheframe.Aninchorsoofspacehadbeenleftbetweenthe
horizontalboards,whetheronpurposeornotwasntclear;raysofmorningsunshonethrough,
castingarowofbrightparallellinesonthefloor.Whywasthewindowbarricadedinsucha
roughfashion?Wasamajorstormortornadointheoffing?Orwasittokeepsomeonefrom
gettingin?Ortopreventsomeone(him,perhaps?)fromleaving?
Stillonhisback,heslowlyturnedhisheadandexaminedtherestoftheroom.Hecouldseeno
furniture,apartfromthebedonwhichhelay.Nochestofdrawers,nodesk,nochair.No
painting,clock,ormirroronthewalls.Nolamporlight.Norcouldhemakeoutanyrugor
carpetonthefloor.Justbarewood.Thewallswerecoveredwithwallpaperofacomplexdesign,
butitwassooldandfadedthatintheweaklightitwasnexttoimpossibletomakeoutwhatthe
designwas.
Theroomhadperhapsonceservedasanormalbedroom.Yetnowallvestigesofhumanlifehad
beenstrippedaway.Theonlythingthatremainedwashissolitarybedinthecenter.Andithad
nobedding.Nosheets,nocoverlet,nopillow.Justanancientmattress.
Samsahadnoideawherehewas,orwhatheshoulddo.Allheknewwasthathewasnowa
humanwhosenamewasGregorSamsa.Andhowdidheknowthat?Perhapssomeonehad
whispereditinhisearwhilehelaysleeping?ButwhohadhebeenbeforehebecameGregor
Samsa?Whathadhebeen?
Themomenthebegancontemplatingthatquestion,however,somethinglikeablackcolumnof
mosquitoesswirledupinhishead.Thecolumngrewthickeranddenserasitmovedtoasofter
partofhisbrain,buzzingalltheway.Samsadecidedtostopthinking.Tryingtothinkanything
throughatthispointwastoogreataburden.
Inanycase,hehadtolearnhowtomovehisbody.Hecouldntlietherestaringupattheceiling
forever.Theposturelefthimmuchtoovulnerable.Hehadnochanceofsurvivinganattackby
predatorybirds,forexample.Asafirststep,hetriedtomovehisfingers.Thereweretenofthem,
longthingsaffixedtohistwohands.Eachwasequippedwithanumberofjoints,whichmade
synchronizingtheirmovementsverycomplicated.Tomakemattersworse,hisbodyfeltnumb,as
thoughitwereimmersedinasticky,heavyliquid,sothatitwasdifficulttosendstrengthtohis
extremities.
Nevertheless,afterrepeatedattemptsandfailures,byclosinghiseyesandfocussinghismindhe
wasabletobringhisfingersmoreundercontrol.Littlebylittle,hewaslearninghowtomake
themworktogether.Ashisfingersbecameoperational,thenumbnessthathadenvelopedhis
bodywithdrew.Initsplacelikeadarkandsinisterreefrevealedbyaretreatingtidecamean
excruciatingpain.

IttookSamsasometimetorealizethatthepainwashunger.Thisravenousdesireforfoodwas
newtohim,oratleasthehadnomemoryofexperiencinganythinglikeit.Itwasasifhehadnot
hadabitetoeatforaweek.Asifthecenterofhisbodywerenowacavernousvoid.Hisbones
creaked;hismusclesclenched;hisorganstwitched.
Unabletowithstandthepainanylonger,Samsaputhiselbowsonthemattressand,bitbybit,
pushedhimselfup.Hisspineemittedseverallowandsickeningcracksintheprocess.MyGod,
Samsathought,howlonghaveIbeenlyinghere?Hisbodyprotestedeachmove.Buthe
struggledthrough,marshallinghisstrength,until,atlast,hemanagedtositup.
Samsalookeddownindismayathisnakedbody.Howillformeditwas!Worsethanillformed.
Itpossessednomeansofselfdefense.Smoothwhiteskin(coveredbyonlyaperfunctoryamount
ofhair)withfragilebluebloodvesselsvisiblethroughit;asoft,unprotectedbelly;ludicrous,
impossiblyshapedgenitals;ganglyarmsandlegs(justtwoofeach!);ascrawny,breakableneck;
anenormous,misshapenheadwithatangleofstiffhaironitscrown;twoabsurdears,juttingout
likeapairofseashells.Was this thing really him?Couldabodysopreposterous,soeasyto
destroy(noshellforprotection,noweaponsforattack),surviveintheworld?Whyhadnthe
beenturnedintoafish?Orasunflower?Afishorasunflowermadesense.Moresense,anyway,
thanthishumanbeing,GregorSamsa.
Steelinghimself,heloweredhislegsovertheedgeofthebeduntilthesolesofhisfeettouched
thefloor.Theunexpectedcoldofthebarewoodmadehimgasp.Afterseveralfailedattempts
thatsenthimcrashingtothefloor,atlasthewasabletobalanceonhistwofeet.Hestoodthere,
bruisedandsore,onehandclutchingtheframeofthebedforsupport.Hisheadwasinordinately
heavyandhardtoholdup.Sweatstreamedfromhisarmpits,andhisgenitalsshrankfromthe
stress.Hehadtotakeseveraldeepbreathsbeforehisconstrictedmusclesbegantorelax.
Oncehewasusedtostanding,hehadtolearntowalk.Walkingontwolegsamountedtoakind
oftorture,eachmovementanexerciseinpain.Nomatterhowhelookedatit,advancinghisright
andleftlegsoneaftertheotherwasabizarrepropositionthatfloutedallnaturallaws,whilethe
precariousdistancefromhiseyestothegroundmadehimcringeinfear.Hehadtolearnhowto
cordinatehishipandkneejoints.Eachtimehetookastepforward,hiskneesshook,andhe
steadiedhimselfagainstthewallwithbothhands.
Butheknewthathecouldnotremaininthisroomforever.Ifhedidntfindfood,andquickly,
hisstarvingbellywouldconsumehisownflesh,andhewouldceasetoexist.
Hetotteredtowardthedoor,pawingatthewallashewent.Thejourneyseemedtotakehours,
althoughhehadnowayofmeasuringthetime,exceptbythepain.Hismovementswere
awkward,hispacesnaillike.Hecouldntadvancewithoutleaningonsomethingforsupport.On
thestreet,hisbesthopewouldbethatpeoplesawhimasdisabled.

Hegraspedthedoorknobandpulled.Itdidntbudge.Apushyieldedthesameresult.Next,he
turnedtheknobtotherightandpulled.Thedooropenedpartwaywithaslightsqueak.Hepoked
hisheadthroughtheopeningandlookedout.Thehallwaywasdeserted.Itwasasquietasthe
bottomoftheocean.Heextendedhisleftlegthroughthedoorway,swungtheupperhalfofhis
bodyout,withonehandonthedoorframe,andfollowedwithhisrightleg.Hemovedslowly
downthecorridor,handsonthewall.
Therewerefourdoorsinthehallway,includingtheonehehadjustused.Allwereidentical,
fashionedofthesamedarkwood.What,orwho,laybeyondthem?Helongedtoopenthemand
findout.Perhapsthenhemightbegintounderstandthemysteriouscircumstancesinwhichhe
foundhimself.Oratleastdiscoveraclueofsomesort.Nevertheless,hepassedbyeachofthe
doors,makingaslittlenoiseaspossible.Theneedtofillhisbellytrumpedhiscuriosity.Hehad
tofindsomethingsubstantialtoeat.
Andnowheknewwheretofindit.
Justfollowthesmell,hethought,sniffing.Itwasthearomaofcookedfood,tinyparticlesthat
waftedtohimthroughtheair.Theinformationgatheredbyolfactoryreceptorsinhisnosewas
beingtransmittedtohisbrain,producingananticipationsovivid,acravingsoviolent,thathe
couldfeelhisinnardsbeingslowlytwisted,asifbyanexperiencedtorturer.Salivafloodedhis
mouth.
Toreachthesourceofthearoma,however,hewouldhavetogodownasteepflightofstairs,
seventeenofthem.Hewashavingahardenoughtimewalkingonlevelgroundnavigating
thosestepswouldbeatruenightmare.Hegrabbedthebannisterwithbothhandsandbeganhis
descent.Hisskinnyanklesfeltreadytocollapseunderhisweight,andhealmostwenttumbling
downthesteps.
AndwhatwasonSamsasmindashemadehiswaydownthestaircase?Fishandsunflowers,for
themostpart.HadIbeentransformedintoafishorasunflower,hethought,Icouldhavelived
outmylifeinpeace,withoutstrugglingupanddownstepslikethese.
WhenSamsareachedthebottomoftheseventeensteps,hepulledhimselfupright,summoned
hisremainingstrength,andhobbledinthedirectionoftheenticingsmell.Hecrossedthehigh
ceilingedentrancehallandsteppedthroughthediningroomsopendoorway.Thefoodwaslaid
outonalargeovaltable.Therewerefivechairs,butnosignofpeople.Whitewispsofsteam
rosefromtheservingplates.Aglassvasebearingadozenliliesoccupiedthecenterofthetable.
Fourplacesweresetwithnapkinsandcutlery,untouched,bythelookofit.Itseemedasthough
peoplehadbeensittingdowntoeattheirbreakfastafewminutesearlier,whensomesuddenand
unforeseeneventsentthemallrunningoff.Whathadhappened?Wherehadtheygone?Or
wherehadtheybeentaken?Wouldtheyreturntoeattheirbreakfast?

ButSamsahadnotimetopondersuchquestions.Fallingintothenearestchair,hegrabbed
whateverfoodhecouldreachwithhisbarehandsandstuffeditintohismouth,quiteignoringthe
knives,spoons,forks,andnapkins.Hetorebreadintopiecesanddowneditwithoutjamor
butter,gobbledfatboiledsausageswhole,devouredhardboiledeggswithsuchspeedthathe
almostforgottopeelthem,scoopeduphandfulsofstillwarmmashedpotatoes,andplucked
pickleswithhisfingers.Hecheweditalltogether,andwashedtheremnantsdownwithwater
fromajug.Tastewasofnoconsequence.Blandordelicious,spicyorsouritwasallthesame
tohim.Allthatmatteredwasfillingthatemptycaverninsidehim.Heatewithtotal
concentration,asifracingagainsttime.Hewassofixatedoneatingthatonce,ashewaslicking
hisfingers,hesankhisteethintothembymistake.Scrapsoffoodfleweverywhere,andwhena
platterfelltothefloorandsmashedhepaidnoattentionwhatsoever.
BythetimeSamsahadeatenhisfillandsatbacktocatchhisbreath,almostnothingwasleft,and
thediningtablewasanawfulsight.Itlookedasifaflockofquarrelsomecrowshadflownin
throughanopenwindow,gorgedthemselves,andflownawayagain.Theonlythinguntouched
wasthevaseoflilies;hadtherebeenlessfood,hemighthavedevouredthemaswell.
Hesat,dazed,inhischairforalongwhile.Handsonthetable,hegazedattheliliesthrough
halfclosedeyesandtooklong,slowbreaths,whilethefoodhehadeatenworkeditswaythrough
hisdigestivesystem,fromhisesophagustohisintestines.Asenseofsatietycameoverhimlike
arisingtide.Hepickedupametalpotandpouredcoffeeintoawhiteceramiccup.Thepungent
fragrancerecalledsomethingtohim.Itdidnotcomedirectly,however;itarrivedinstages.It
wasastrangefeeling,asifhewererecollectingthepresentfromthefuture.Asiftimehad
somehowbeensplitintwo,sothatmemoryandexperiencerevolvedwithinaclosedcycle,each
followingtheother.Hepouredaliberalamountofcreamintohiscoffee,stirreditwithhis
finger,anddrank.Althoughthecoffeehadcooled,aslightwarmthremained.Hehelditinhis
mouthbeforewarilyallowingittotrickledownhisthroat.Hefoundthatitcalmedhimtoa
degree.
Allofasudden,hefeltcold.Theintensityofhishungerhadblottedouthisothersenses.Now
thathewassated,themorningchillonhisskinmadehimtremble.Thefirehadgoneout.None
oftheheatersseemedtobeturnedon.Ontopofthat,hewasstarknakedevenhisfeetwere
bare.
Heknew thathehadtofindsomethingtowear.Hewastoocoldlikethis.Moreover,hislackof
clotheswasboundtobeanissueshouldsomeoneappear.Theremightbeaknockatthedoor.Or
thepeoplewhohadbeenabouttositdowntobreakfastashortwhilebeforemightreturn.Who
knewhowtheywouldreactiftheyfoundhiminthisstate?
Heunderstoodallthis.Hedidnotsurmiseit,orperceiveitinanintellectualway;heknewit,
pureandsimple.Samsahadnoideawheresuchknowledgecamefrom.Perhapsitwasrelatedto
thoserevolvingmemorieshewashaving.

Hestoodupfromhischairandwalkedouttothefronthall.Hewasstillawkward,butnow,at
least,hecouldstandandwalkontwolegswithoutclingingtosomething.Therewasawrought
ironumbrellastandinthehallthatheldseveralwalkingsticks.Hepulledoutablackonemade
ofoaktohelphimmovearound;justgraspingitssturdyhandlerelaxedandencouragedhim.
Andnowhewouldhaveaweapontofightbackwithshouldbirdsattack.Hewenttothewindow
andlookedoutthroughthecrackinthelacecurtains.
Thehousefacedontoastreet.Itwasnotaverybigstreet.Norweremanypeopleonit.
Nevertheless,henotedthateverypersonwhopassedwasfullyclothed.Theclotheswereof
variouscolorsandstyles.Menandwomenworedifferentgarments.Shoesofstiffleather
coveredtheirfeet.Afewsportedbrightlypolishedboots.Hecouldhearthesolesoftheir
footwearclackonthecobblestones.Manyofthemenandwomenworehats.Theyseemedto
thinknothingofwalkingontwolegsandkeepingtheirgenitalscovered.Samsacomparedhis
reflectioninthehallsfulllengthmirrorwiththepeoplewalkingoutside.Themanhesawinthe
mirrorwasashabby,fraillookingcreature.Hisbellywassmearedwithgravy,andbreadcrumbs
clungtohispubichairlikebitsofcotton.Hesweptthefilthawaywithhishand.
Yes,hethoughtagain,Imustfindsomethingtocovermybody.
Helookedoutatthestreetoncemore,checkingforbirds.Buttherewerenobirdsinsight.
Thegroundfloorofthehouseconsistedofthehallway,thediningroom,akitchen,andaliving
room.Asfarashecouldtell,however,noneofthoseroomsheldanythingresemblingclothes.
Whichmeantthattheputtingonandtakingoffofclothingmustoccursomewhereelse.Perhaps
inaroomonthesecondfloor.
Samsareturnedtothestaircaseandbegantoclimb.Hewassurprisedtodiscoverhowmuch
easieritwastogoupthantogodown.Clutchingtherailing,hewasabletomakehiswayupthe
seventeenstepsatamuchfasterrateandwithoutunduepainorfear,stoppingseveraltimes
alongtheway(thoughneverforlong)tocatchhisbreath.
Onemightsaythatluckwaswithhim,fornoneofthedoorsonthesecondfloorwerelocked.All
hehadtodowasturntheknobandpush,andeachdoorswungopen.Therewerefourroomsin
total,and,apartfromthefreezingroomwiththebarefloorinwhichhehadwoken,allwere
comfortablyfurnished.Eachhadabedwithcleanbedding,adresser,awritingdesk,alamp
affixedtotheceilingorthewall,andarugoracarpetwithanintricatepattern.Bookswere
neatlylinedupintheircases,andframedoilpaintingsoflandscapesadornedthewalls.Each
roomhadaglassvasefilledwithbrightflowers.Nonehadroughboardsnailedacrossthe
windows.Theirwindowshadlacecurtains,throughwhichsunlightpouredlikeablessingfrom
above.Thebedsallshowedsignsofsomeoneshavingsleptinthem.Hecouldseetheimprintof
headsonpillows.

Samsafoundadressinggownhissizeintheclosetofthelargestroom.Itlookedlikesomething
hemightbeabletomanage.Hehadntacluewhattodowiththeotherclotheshowtoputthem
on,howtowearthem.Theywerejusttoocomplicated:toomanybuttons,foronething,andhe
wasunsurehowtotellfrontfromback,ortopfrombottom.Whichwassupposedtogoonthe
outside,andwhichunderneath?Thedressinggown,ontheotherhand,wassimple,practical,and
quitefreeofornament.Itslight,softclothfeltgoodagainsthisskin,anditscolorwasdarkblue.
Heeventurnedupamatchingpairofslippers.
Hepulledthedressinggownoverhisnakedbodyand,aftermuchtrialanderror,succeededin
fasteningthebeltaroundhiswaist.Helookedathimselfinthemirror,cladnowingownand
slippers.Thiswascertainlybetterthanwalkingaroundnaked.Itwasntaswarmasitmighthave
been,tobesure,butaslongasheremainedindoorsitwouldstaveoffthecold.Bestofall,heno
longerhadtoworrythathissoftskinwouldbeexposedtoviciousbirds.
Whenthedoorbellrang,Samsawasdozinginthebiggestroom(andinthebiggestbed)inthe
house.Itwaswarmunderthefeatherquilts,ascozyasifheweresleepinginanegg.Hewoke
fromadream.Hecouldntrememberitindetail,butithadbeenpleasantandcheerful.Thebell
echoingthroughthehouse,however,yankedhimbacktocoldreality.
Hedraggedhimselffromthebed,fastenedhisgown,putonhisdarkblueslippers,grabbedhis
blackwalkingstick,and,handonrailing,tottereddownthestairs.Itwasfareasierthanithad
beenonthefirstoccasion.Still,thedangeroffallingwaseverpresent.Hecouldnotaffordtolet
downhisguard.Keepingacloseeyeonhisfeet,hepickedhiswaydownthestairsonestepata
time,asthedoorbellcontinuedtoring.Whoeverwaspushingthebuzzerhadtobeamost
impatientandstubbornperson.
Walkingstickinhislefthand,Samsaapproachedthefrontdoor.Hetwistedtheknobtotheright
andpulled,andthedoorswungin.
Alittlewomanwasstandingoutside.Averylittlewoman.Itwasawondershewasabletoreach
thebuzzer.Whenhelookedmoreclosely,however,herealizedthattheissuewasnthersize.It
washerback,whichwasbentforwardinaperpetualstoop.Thismadeherappearsmall,though,
infact,herframewasofnormaldimensions.Shehadfastenedherhairwitharubberbandto
preventitfromspillingoverherface.Thehairwasadeepchestnutandveryabundant.Shewas
dressedinabatteredtweedjacketandafull,loosefittingskirtthatcoveredherankles.Astriped
cottonscarfwaswrappedaroundherneck.Sheworenohat.Hershoeswereofthetalllaceup
variety,andsheappearedtobeinherearlytwenties.Therewasstillsomethingofthegirlabout
her.Hereyeswerebig,hernosesmall,andherlipstwistedalittletooneside,likeaskinny
moon.Herdarkeyebrowsformedtwostraightlinesacrossherforehead,givingheraskeptical
look.

IsthistheSamsaresidence?thewomansaid,craningherheaduptolookathim.Thenshe
twistedherbodyallover.Muchthewaytheearthtwistsduringaviolentearthquake.
Hewastakenabackatfirst,butpulledhimselftogether.Yes,hesaid.SincehewasGregor
Samsa,thiswaslikelytheSamsaresidence.Atanyrate,therecouldbenoharminsayingso.
Yetthewomanseemedtofindhisanswerlessthansatisfying.Aslightfrowncreasedherbrow.
Perhapsshehadpickedupanoteofconfusioninhisvoice.
SothisisreallytheSamsaresidence?shesaidinasharpvoice.Likeanexperienced
gatekeepergrillingashabbyvisitor.
IamGregorSamsa,Samsasaid,inasrelaxedatoneaspossible.Ofthis,atleast,hewassure.
Ihopeyoureright,shesaid,reachingdownforaclothbagatherfeet.Itwasblack,and
seemedveryheavy.Wornthroughinplaces,ithaddoubtlesshadanumberofowners.Solets
getstarted.
Shestrodeintothehousewithoutwaitingforareply.Samsaclosedthedoorbehindher.She
stoodthere,lookinghimupanddown.Itseemedthathisgownandslippershadarousedher
suspicions.
Iappeartohavewokenyou,shesaid,hervoicecold.
Thatsperfectlyallright,Samsareplied.Hecouldtellbyherdarkexpressionthathisclothes
wereapoorfitfortheoccasion.Imustapologizeformyappearance,hewenton.Thereare
reasons....
Thewomanignoredthis.So,then?shesaidthroughpursedlips.
So,then?Samsaechoed.
So,then,whereisthelockthatscausingtheproblem?thewomansaid.
Thelock?
Thelockthatsbroken,shesaid.Youaskedustocomeandrepairit.
Ah,Samsasaid.Thebrokenlock.

Samsaransackedhismind.Nosoonerhadhemanagedtofocusononething,however,thanthat
blackcolumnofmosquitoesroseupagain.
Ihaventheardanythinginparticularaboutalock,hesaid.Myguessisitbelongstooneof
thedoorsonthesecondfloor.
Thewomangloweredathim.Yourguess?shesaid,peeringupathisface.Hervoicehad
grownevenicier.Aneyebrowarchedindisbelief.Oneofthedoors?shewenton.
Samsacouldfeelhisfaceflush.Hisignoranceregardingthelockstruckhimasmost
embarrassing.Heclearedhisthroattospeak,butthewordsdidnotcome.
Mr.Samsa,areyourparentsin?IthinkitsbetterifItalktothem.
Theyseemtohavegoneoutonanerrand,Samsasaid.
Anerrand?shesaid,appalled.Inthemidstofthesetroubles?
Ireallyhavenoidea.WhenIwokeupthismorning,everyonewasgone,Samsasaid.
Goodgrief,theyoungwomansaid.Sheheavedalongsigh.Wedidtellthemthatsomeone
wouldcomeatthistimetoday.
Imterriblysorry.
Thewomanstoodthereforamoment.Then,slowly,herarchedeyebrowdescended,andshe
lookedattheblackwalkingstickinSamsaslefthand.Areyourlegsbotheringyou,Gregor
Samsa?
Yes,alittle,heprevaricated.
Onceagain,thewomanwrithedsuddenly.Samsahadnoideawhatthisactionmeantorwhatits
purposewas.Yethewasdrawnbyinstincttothecomplexsequenceofmovements.
Well,whatstobedone,thewomansaidinatoneofresignation.Letstakealookatthose
doorsonthesecondfloor.Icameoverthebridgeandallthewayacrosstownthroughthis
terribleupheavaltogethere.Riskedmylife,infact.Soitwouldntmakemuchsensetosay,
Oh,really,nooneishere?Illcomebacklater,wouldit?

This terrible upheaval?Samsacouldntgraspwhatshewastalkingabout.Whatawful

changewastakingplace?Buthedecidednottoaskfordetails.Bettertoavoidexposinghis
ignoranceevenfurther.
Backbent,theyoungwomantooktheheavyblackbaginherrighthandandtoiledupthestairs,
muchlikeacrawlinginsect.Samsalaboredafterher,hishandontherailing.Hercreepinggait
arousedhissympathyitremindedhimofsomething.
Thewomanstoodatthetopofthestepsandsurveyedthehallway.So,shesaid,oneofthese
fourdoorsprobablyhasabrokenlock,right?
Samsasfacereddened.Yes,hesaid.Oneofthese.Itcouldbetheoneattheendofthehall
ontheleft,possibly,hesaid,faltering.Thiswasthedoortothebareroominwhichhehad
wokenthatmorning.
It could be,thewomansaidinavoiceaslifelessasanextinguishedbonfire.Possibly.
SheturnedaroundtoexamineSamsasface.
Somehoworother,Samsasaid.
Thewomansighedagain.GregorSamsa,shesaiddryly.Youareatruejoytotalkto.Sucha
richvocabulary,andyoualwaysgettothepoint.Thenhertonechanged.Butnomatter.Lets
checkthedoorontheleftattheendofthehallfirst.
Thewomanwenttothedoor.Sheturnedtheknobbackandforthandpushed,anditopened
inward.Theroomwasasithadbeenbefore:onlyabedwithabaremattressthatwaslessthan
clean.Thefloorbareaswell.Boardsnailedacrossthewindow.Thewomanmusthavenoticed
allthis,butsheshowednosignofsurprise.Herdemeanorsuggestedthatsimilarroomscouldbe
foundalloverthecity.
Shesquatteddown,openedtheblackbag,pulledoutawhiteflannelcloth,andspreaditonthe
floor.Thenshetookoutanumberoftools,whichshelinedupcarefullyonthecloth,likea
hardenedtorturerdisplayingthesinisterinstrumentsofhistradebeforesomepoormartyr.
Selectingawireofmediumthickness,sheinserteditintothelockand,withapracticedhand,
manipulateditfromavarietyofangles.Hereyeswerenarrowedinconcentration,herearsalert
fortheslightestsound.Next,shechoseathinnerwireandrepeatedtheprocess.Herfacegrew
sombre,andhermouthtwistedintoaruthlessshape,likeaChinesesword.Shetookalarge
flashlightand,withablacklookinhereyes,begantoexaminethelockindetail.
Doyouhavethekeyforthislock?sheaskedSamsa.
Ihaventtheslightestideawherethekeyis,heansweredhonestly.

Ah,GregorSamsa,sometimesyoumakemewanttodie,shesaid.
Afterthat,shequiteignoredhim.Sheselectedascrewdriverfromthetoolslineduponthecloth
andproceededtoremovethelockfromthedoor.Hermovementswereslowandcautious.She
pausedfromtimetotimetotwistandwritheaboutasshehadbefore.
Whilehestoodbehindher,watchinghermoveinthatfashion,Samsasownbodybeganto
respondinastrangeway.Hewasgrowinghotallover,andhisnostrilswereflaring.Hismouth
wassodrythatheproducedaloudgulpwheneverheswallowed.Hisearlobesitched.Andhis
sexualorgan,whichhaddangledinsuchasloppywayuntilthatpoint,begantostiffenand
expand.Asitrose,abulgedevelopedatthefrontofhisgown.Hewasinthedark,however,asto
whatthatmightsignify.
Havingextractedthelock,theyoungwomantookittothewindowtoinspectinthesunlightthat
shonebetweentheboards.Shepokeditwithathinwireandgaveitahardshaketoseehowit
sounded,herfaceglumandherlipspursed.Finally,shesighedagainandturnedtofaceSamsa.
Theinsidesareshot,thewomansaid.Itskaput.Thisistheone,justlikeyousaid.
Thatsgood,Samsasaid.
No,itsnot,thewomansaid.TheresnowayIcanrepairithereonthespot.Itsaspecial
kindoflock.Illhavetotakeitbackandletmyfatheroroneofmyolderbrothersworkonit.
Theymaybeabletofixit.ImjustanapprenticeIcanonlyhandleregularlocks.
Isee,Samsasaid.Sothisyoungwomanhadafatherandseveralbrothers.Awholefamilyof
locksmiths.
Actually,oneofmybrotherswassupposedtocometoday,butbecauseof
thecommotiongoingonouttheretheysentmeinstead.Thecityisriddledwithcheckpoints.
Shelookedbackdownatthelockinherhands.Buthowdidthelockgetbrokenlikethis?Its
weird.Someonemusthavegougedouttheinsideswithaspecialkindoftool.Theresnoother
waytoexplainit.
Againshewrithed.Herarmsrotatedasifshewereaswimmerpracticinganewstroke.Hefound
theactionmesmerizingandveryexciting.
Samsamadeuphismind.MayIaskyouaquestion?hesaid.
Aquestion?shesaid,castinghimadubiousglance.Icantimaginewhat,butgoahead.

Whydoyoutwistaboutlikethateverysooften?
ShelookedatSamsawithherlipsslightlyparted.Twistabout?Shethoughtforamoment.
Youmeanlikethis?Shedemonstratedthemotionforhim.
Yes,thatsit.
Mybrassieredoesntfit,shesaiddourly.Thatsall.
Brassiere?Samsasaidinadullvoice.Itwasawordhecouldntcallupfromhismemory.
Abrassiere.Youknowwhatthatis,dontyou?thewomansaid.Ordoyoufinditstrangethat
hunchbackwomenwearbrassieres?Doyouthinkitspresumptuousofus?
Hunchback?Samsasaid.Yetanotherwordthatwassuckedintothatvastemptinesshecarried
within.Hehadnoideawhatshewastalkingabout.Still,heknewthatheshouldsaysomething.
No,Idontthinksoatall,hemumbled.
Listenup.Wehunchbackshavetwobreasts,justlikeotherwomen,andwehavetousea
brassieretosupportthem.Wecantwalkaroundlikecowswithouruddersswinging.
Ofcoursenot.Samsawaslost.
Butbrassieresarentdesignedforustheygetloose.Werebuiltdifferentlyfromregular
women,right?Sowehavetotwistaroundeverysooftentoputthembackinplace.Hunchbacks
havemoreproblemsthanyoucanimagine.Isthatwhyyouvebeenstaringatmefrombehind?
Isthathowyougetyourkicks?
No,notatall.Iwasjustcuriouswhyyouweredoingthat.
So,heinferred,abrassierewasanapparatusdesignedtoholdthebreastsinplace,anda
hunchbackwasapersonwiththiswomansparticularbuild.Therewassomuchinthisworld
thathehadtolearn.
Areyousureyourenotmakingfunofme?thewomanasked.
Imnotmakingfunofyou.

ThewomancockedherheadandlookedupatSamsa.Shecouldtellthathewasspeakingthe
truththeredidntseemtobeanymaliceinhim.Hewasjustalittleweakinthehead,thatwas
all.Hewasprobablyafewyearsolderthanshewas.Aswellasbeinglame,heseemedtobe
intellectuallychallenged.Buthewasfromagoodfamily,andhismannerswereimpeccable.He
wasnicelooking,too,thoughalittlescrawnyandpastyfaced.
Itwasthenthatshenoticedtheprotuberancepushingoutthelowerpartofhisgown.
Whatthehellisthat?shesaidstonily.Whatsthatbulge doingthere?
Samsalookeddownatthefrontofhisgown.Hisorganwasreallyveryswollen.Hecould
surmisefromhertonethatitsconditionwassomehowinappropriate.
Igetit,shespatout.Yourewonderingwhatitwouldbeliketofuckahunchback,arent
you?
Fuck?hesaid.Onemorewordhecouldntplace.
Youimaginethat,sinceahunchbackisbentatthewaist,youcanjusttakeherfromtherear
withnoproblem,right?thewomansaid.Believeme,therearelotsofpervertslikeyouaround,
whoseemtothinkthatwellletyoudowhatyouwantbecausewerehunchbacks.Well,think
again,buster.Werenotthateasy!
Imveryconfused,Samsasaid.IfIhavedispleasedyouinsomeway,Iamtrulysorry.I
apologize.Pleaseforgiveme.Imeantnoharm.Ivebeenunwell,andtherearesomanythingsI
dontunderstand.
Allright,Igetthepicture.Shesighed.Yourealittleslow,right?Butyourwienerisingreat
shape.Thosearethebreaks,Iguess.
Imsorry,Samsasaidagain.
Forgetit.Sherelented.Ivegotfournogoodbrothersathome,andsinceIwasalittlegirl
theyveshownmeeverything.Theytreatitlikeabigjoke.Meanbuggers,allofthem.SoIm
notkiddingwhenIsayIknowthescore.
Shesquattedtoputhertoolsbackinthebag,wrappingthebrokenlockintheflannelandgently
placingitalongside.
Imtakingthelockhomewithme,shesaid,standingup.Tellyourparents.Welleitherfixit
orreplaceit.Ifwehavetogetanewone,though,itmaytakesometime,thingsbeingtheway
theyare.Dontforgettotellthem,O.K.?Doyoufollowme?Willyouremember?

Illtellthem,Samsasaid.
Shewalkedslowlydownthestaircase,Samsatrailingbehind.Theymadequiteastudyin
contrasts:shelookedasifshewerecrawlingonallfours,whilehetiltedbackwardinamost
unnaturalway.Yettheirpacewasidentical.Samsawastryinghardtoquellhisbulge,butthe
thingjustwouldntreturntoitsformerstate.Watchinghermovementsfrombehindasshe
descendedthestairsmadehisheartpound.Hot,freshbloodcoursedthroughhisveins.The
stubbornbulgepersisted.
AsItoldyoubefore,oneofmybrotherswassupposedtocometoday,thewomansaidwhen
theyreachedthefrontdoor.Butthestreetsarecrawlingwithsoldiersandtanks.Peopleare
beingroundedup.Thatswhythemeninmyfamilycantgoout.Onceyougetarrested,theres
notellingwhenyoullreturn.ThatswhyIwassent.AllthewayacrossPrague,alone.Noone
willnoticeahunchbackgirl,theysaid.
Tanks?Samsamurmured.
Yeah,lotsofthem.Tankswithcannonsandmachineguns.Yourcannonisimpressive,she
said,pointingatthebulgebeneathhisgown,butthesecannonsarebiggerandharder,andalot
morelethal.Letshopeeveryoneinyourfamilymakesitbacksafely.
Samsadecidedtotakethebullbythehorns.Woulditbepossibletomeetagain?hesaid.
TheyoungwomancranedherheadatSamsa.Areyousayingyouwanttoseemeagain?
Yes.Iwanttoseeyouonemoretime.
Withyourthingstickingoutlikethat?
Samsalookeddownagainatthebulge.Idontknowhowtoexplainit,butthathasnothingto
dowithmyfeelings.Itmustbesomekindofheartproblem.
Nokidding,shesaid,impressed.Aheartproblem,yousay.Thatsaninterestingwaytolook
atit.Neverheardthatonebefore.
Yousee,itsoutofmycontrol.
Andithasnothingtodowithfucking?

Fuckingisntonmymind.Really.
Soletmegetthisstraight.Whenyourthinggrowsbigandhardlikethat,itsnotyourmindbut
yourheartthatscausingit?
Samsanoddedinassent.
SweartoGod?thewomansaid.
God,Samsaechoed.Anotherwordhecouldntrememberhavingheardbefore.Hefellsilent.
Thewomangaveawearyshakeofherhead.Shetwistedandturnedagaintoadjustherbrassiere.
Forgetit.ItseemsGodleftPragueafewdaysago.Letsforgetabouthim.
SocanIseeyouagain?Samsaasked.
Anewlookcameoverthegirlsfacehereyesseemedfixedonsomedistantandmisty
landscape.Youreallywanttoseemeagain?
Samsanodded.
Whatwouldwedo?
Wecouldtalktogether.
Aboutwhat?thewomanasked.
Aboutlotsofthings.
Justtalk?
ThereissomuchIwanttoaskyou,Samsasaid.
Aboutwhat?
Aboutthisworld.Aboutyou.Aboutme.Ifeelliketherearesomanythingsweneedtotalk
about.Tanks,forexample.AndGod.Andbrassieres.Andlocks.

Anothersilencefelloverthetwoofthem.
Idontknow,thewomansaidatlast.Sheshookherheadslowly,butthechillinhervoicewas
lessnoticeable.Yourebetterbroughtupthanme.AndIdoubtyourparentswouldbethrilledto
seetheirprecioussoninvolvedwithahunchbackfromthewrongsideoftown.Evenifthatson
islameandalittleslow.Ontopofthat,ourcityisoverflowingwithforeigntanksandtroops.
Whoknowswhatliesahead.
Samsacertainlyhadnoideawhatlayahead.Hewasinthedarkabouteverything:thefuture,of
course,butthepresentandthepastaswell.Whatwasright,andwhatwaswrong?Justlearning
howtodresswasariddle.
Atanyrate,Illcomebackthiswayinafewdays,thehunchbackedyoungwomansaid.Ifwe
canfixit,Illbringthelock,andifwecantIllreturnittoyouanyway.Youllbechargedfor
theservicecall,ofcourse.Ifyourehere,thenwecanseeeachother.Whetherwellbeableto
havethatlongtalkornotIdontknow.ButifIwereyouIdkeepthatbulgehiddenfromyour
parents.Intherealworld,youdontgetcomplimentsforexposingthatkindofthing.
Samsanodded.Hewasntatallclear,though,howthatkindofthingcouldbekeptoutofsight.
Itsstrange,isntit?thewomansaidinapensivevoice.Everythingisblowinguparoundus,
buttherearestillthosewhocareaboutabrokenlock,andotherswhoaredutifulenoughtotryto
fixit....Butmaybethatsthewayitshouldbe.Maybeworkingonthelittlethingsasdutifully
andhonestlyaswecanishowwestaysanewhentheworldisfallingapart.
ThewomanlookedupatSamsasface.Idontmeantopry,butwhatwasgoingoninthatroom
onthesecondfloor?Whydidyourparentsneedsuchabiglockforaroomthatheldnothingbut
abed,andwhydiditbotherthemsomuchwhenthelockgotbroken?Andwhataboutthose
boardsnailedacrossthewindow?Wassomethinglockedupinthereisthatit?
Samsashookhishead.Ifsomeoneorsomethinghadbeenshutupinthere,itmusthavebeen
him.Butwhyhadthatbeennecessary?Hehadntaclue.
Iguesstheresnopointinaskingyou,thewomansaid.Well,Ivegottogo.Theyllworry
aboutmeifImlate.PraythatImakeitacrosstowninonepiece.Thatthesoldierswilloverlook
apoorlittlehunchbackgirl.Thatnoneofthemisperverted.Werebeingfuckedoverenoughas
itis.
Iwillpray,Samsasaid.Buthehadnoideawhatpervertedmeant.Orpray,forthatmatter.
Thewomanpickedupherblackbagand,stillbentover,headedforthedoor.

WillIseeyouagain?Samsaaskedonelasttime.
Ifyouthinkofsomeoneenough,youresuretomeetthemagain,shesaidinparting.Thistime
therewasrealwarmthinhervoice.
Lookoutforbirds,hecalledafterher.Sheturnedandnodded.Thenshewalkedouttothe
street.
Samsawatchedthroughthecrackinthecurtainsasherhunchedformsetoffacrossthe
cobblestones.Shemovedawkwardlybutwithsurprisingspeed.Hefoundhereverygesture
charming.Sheremindedhimofawaterstriderthathadleftthewatertoscamperaboutondry
land.Asfarashecouldtell,walkingthewayshedidmadealotmoresensethanwobbling
arounduprightontwolegs.
Shehadnotbeenoutofsightlongwhenhenoticedthathisgenitalshadreturnedtotheirsoftand
shrunkenstate.Thatbriefandviolentbulgehad,atsomepoint,vanished.Nowhisorgandangled
betweenhislegslikeaninnocentfruit,peacefulanddefenseless.Hisballsrestedcomfortablyin
theirsac.Readjustingthebeltofhisgown,hesatdownatthediningroomtableanddrankwhat
remainedofhiscoldcoffee.
Thepeoplewholivedherehadgonesomewhereelse.Hedidntknowwhotheywere,buthe
imaginedthattheywerehisfamily.Somethinghadhappenedallofasudden,andtheyhadleft.
Perhapstheywouldneverreturn.Whatdidtheworldisfallingapartmean?GregorSamsahad
noidea.Foreigntroops,checkpoints,tankseverythingwaswrappedinmystery.
Theonlythingheknewforcertainwasthathewantedtoseethathunchbackgirlagain.Tosit
facetofaceandtalktohisheartscontent.Tounraveltheriddlesoftheworldwithher.He
wantedtowatchfromeveryanglethewayshetwistedandwrithedwhensheadjustedher
brassiere.Ifpossible,hewantedtorunhishandsoverherbody.Totouchhersoftskinandfeel
herwarmthwithhisfingertips.Towalksidebysidewithherupanddownthestaircasesofthe
world.
Justthinkingabouthermadehimwarminside.Nolongerdidhewishtobeafishorasunflower
oranythingelse,forthatmatter.Hewasgladtobehuman.Forsure,itwasagreat
inconveniencetohavetowalkontwolegsandwearclothes.Thereweresomanythingshe
didntknow.Yethadhebeenafishorasunflower,andnotahumanbeing,hemightneverhave
experiencedthisemotion.Sohefelt.
Samsasatthereforalongtimewithhiseyesclosed.Then,makinguphismind,hestood,
grabbedhisblackwalkingstick,andheadedforthestairs.Hewouldreturntothesecondfloor
andfigureouttheproperwaytodress.Fornow,atleast,thatwouldbehismission.

Theworldwaswaitingforhimtolearn.
(Translated, from the Japanese, by Ted Goossen.)

HARUKI MURAKAMI
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