Stress Management-Take Control of Your Life with These 24 Steps

What is Stress?
Stress is defined as a persons physiological response to an internal or external stimuli that triggers
the fight or flight response.
It is a situation where one feels as if one is under too much pressure. The pressure could be physical,
mental or emotional.
We all have ways of coping with the pressures of life. Without life pressures, we would not be
motivated to aspire or achieve anything in life.
However, there comes a point when the pressure becomes too much and this point differs in every
one of us.
Some people are more able to cope with stress than others. What Mr A regards as stressful may not
be stressful at all for Mr B.
Constant stress causes damage to health, mood, productivity, relationships, and quality of life.
The art of living life is full of things that can cause stress for us.
E g, work situations, money problems, relationship problems, having deadlines e g assignment for
students, projects at work. Etc.
A stressful situation causes our body to go into fight or flight mode. i e it prepares our body to
either prepare to defend itself (fight) or take itself away from the aggravating condition(flight)
These hormones are called adrenaline. They get secreted in response to stress but once the situation
passes they return to normal levels.
An acute reaction may occur when the affected person responds to a terrifying or traumatic event
acutely. It could be exhibited as vivid dreams and flashbacks, emotional detachment or amnesia.
They usually occur within four weeks of the event.
When a person is stressed, you feel as if you havent got the time to do everything that you need to
do and you start panicking as a result. It may be financial stress when you have lots of bills to pay
without having the means to pay for them. It may be work stress when you have lots on your to do
list and you dont have the time to do all of them.

Long Term Effects of Stress

For somebody who is always under stress, the hormones will constantly be at high levels in the body
and they cause chronic effects like
Raised blood pressure,
Being on edge all the time,
Heart disease
Heart attacks
Gastrointestinal problems
Chronic insomnia
Depression
Weight gain/weight loss
Autoimmune problems e. g hair loss/alopecia
Increased risk of strokes
Increased vulnerability to panic attacks and anxiety
Asthma
Back pain
Headaches
Immunosuppression which leads to increased susceptibility to infections
It can hasten the aging process etc.
Children who grow up in stressful homes due for example to serious marital discord, alcoholism or
child abuse may have their development or growth retarded.

Why is stress management important?

Putting stress into perspective.
American Psychological Association in August 2014 conducted a survey, 72 % of Americans reported
feeling stressed about money at least some of the time during the previous month.
Stress about money and finances appear to have a significant impact on many Americans lives.
On average, American stress levels are trending downwards .The average reported stress level is 4.9
on a 10 point scale, down from 6.2 in 2007.
Even, in spite of these lower stress levels, the report concludes that Americans are living with stress
levels higher than what we believe to be healthy which is 3.7 on a 10 point scale and some 22% say
they are doing enough to manage their stress.
The APA-American Psychological Association stated, This years survey continues to reinforce the
idea that we are living with a level of stress that we consider too high. Despite the good news that
overall stress levels are down, it appears that the idea of living with stress higher than what we
believe to be healthy and dealing with it in ineffective ways continues to be embedded in our
culture.
It further states, All Americans, and particularly those groups that are most affected by stress
(which include women, younger adults, and those with lower incomes) need to address this issue
sooner than later in order to better their health and wellbeing.
Americans who say they have someone they can ask for emotional support such as family and
friends, report lower stress levels and better related outcomes than those without emotional
support. Unfortunately, some of the respondents say that they do not have anyone to rely on for
emotional support.
According to the survey, 43 % of those who say they have no emotional support report that their
overall stress has increased in the past year, compared with 26% of those who say they have
emotional support.
In the United Kingdom, a survey carried out by the Mental Health Foundation in 2013 indicated that
stress was becoming increasingly common in these difficult economic times.
59% of British adults said that their life is more stressful than it was 5 years prior to the survey.
Hospital admissions for stress had also risen by 7% in the twelve months prior to the study.
Money and Work related problems were the main causes of stress in Britain.
People were 3 times more likely to drink alcohol to help deal with stress than go to see their doctor.
A large percentage of people also said that they just keep to themselves, instead of seeking help
from family and friends.

The Chief Executive of the Mental Health Foundation said The impact of current economic
problems has put a lot of people under stress due to the fear, or reality of unemployment, insecure
housing and high levels of debt and these results are not surprising. Unmanaged, stress can develop
into serious health problems such as depression, as well as increasing the risk of physical illness such
as heart disease. The results of our survey suggest that too many of us still arent making managing
stress a priority .Its important to recognise the symptoms of stress early. Recognising the signs and
symptoms of stress early will help you figure out ways of coping and save you from adopting
unhealthy coping methods such as drinking or smoking.

Signs and Symptoms of Stress

Stress can affect the mind, body and behaviour.
It can lead to physical and mental conditions alike.
Emotional Symptoms
-Becoming irritable
-feeling overwhelmed with things
-feeling lonely or isolated
-becoming moody
-having low mood
-generally feeling unhappy

Physical Symptoms
-Dizziness

-headache

-Nausea

-sweating

-Generalised aches and pains

-tight muscles

-Chest pain

-painful muscles

-Palpitations

-abdominal pain

-irritable bowels e g diarrhea /constipation

-constant feeling of tiredness

-low libido

-rash

-Susceptibility to viral infections

Behavioural Symptoms
-Sleeping too much or too little
-eating too much or too little
-procrastinating
-not fulfilling your responsibility
-too much drinking or smoking
-nail biting
-lip smacking
-shaking of limbs
-becoming isolated from friends and loved ones

Cognitive Symptoms
-inability to concentrate
-judgement errors
-negative mind set
-feeling anxious
-forgetting things
-worrying all the time.

The signs and symptoms of stress as listed above are not unique to stress alone.
The same symptoms can be found in many other physical or psychological conditions
It is best to see a doctor if you have any of these symptoms as you cannot assume that they are just
due to stress.

Causes of Stress
Some of the common situations that can cause stress are

financial pressure

being busy at work

work stress

school stress

relationship problems

moving houses

death of a loved one

loss of job

worrying excessively

negative mind-set

being too rigid i e not compromising

birth of a child

getting married

getting divorced

going to college

perfectionism

starting a new job

Stress Management Identify

The most important measure is to identify what exactly causes your stress levels to rise.
You can keep a diary whereby you write down when each stressful situation starts , e g date and
time of the event, what you were doing, who were you with, what were you thinking about at the
time, how did you feel at the time, you can even rate the stress on a scale of say 1-10.
After about two weeks look at the diary and use it to find out the causes of your stress and how you
react to it.
The more you know about what causes your stress, how long they last for and how you react to it,
it will be easier for you to deal with.

Reach out
It helps to talk to other people who may be going through stressful situations.
You may wish to consider joining an online forum /group on a class in your neighbourhood.
It is very easy to just recoil into yourself and just do your own thing in your own way.
Some people may resort to drinking which is not such a good thing to do when you are stressed.
You may feel a temporary relief from your problems but such relief never lasts usually. You have to
take control of the situation.
It is very important to make friends and engage with them.
In times of stress or troubles, your family and friends are invaluable sources of help.
They will listen to you and give you their ideas on how to make the situation better.
You can work with them to enable a satisfactory solution to the stressful problem.
Where you dont have any close family nearby, or you dont get on well with your family, you could
develop friendships with your neighbours or with your colleagues at work.

Exercises
It is good to keep physically active by doing exercises .This helps to release chemicals called
endorphins into the body and these chemicals help to reduce stress levels.
You feel good in yourself and you can think more clearly.
Exercises like brisk walking for thirty minutes a day, done three to four times a week is
recommended as a way of keeping healthy.

Time Management
Poor time management is a common reason for getting stressed.
You should learn to prioritise the things that need doing in the short term, medium term and long
term.
You learn to focus on the tasks that matter.
Do not procrastinate and leave things till the last minute.
Some people always feel that they never have time to finish their tasks.
They need to learn effective time management.
You should work out your life goals
-what do you aspire to be?
-what are your life priorities?
-what do you hope to become in your career or personal life.
The above constitute the big picture as it were.
Once youve worked out the big picture, you can then develop medium and short term objectives to
lead you to your overall aims.

Create lists
Creating lists is another way of managing time.
Make the list to be in order of your priorities.
It ensures that you do not omit anything that really needs to get done that day.
It also spares your brain from having to remember everything that needs to be done. Once an item
on the list is done, that can be ticked off and you will get a satisfaction from ticking off the job as
done.

Smart Working
Wherever possible, try to finish your workload at work, and dont form the habit of taking office
work back home with you. This enables you to have a truly relaxing time at home and then you can
go back to work refreshed the next day.

Take a break
During your lunch break, try to get away from your desk .You could decide to go on a short walk,
This helps to clear your mind and refresh you.
If there is a gym near your workplace, you could use the lunch hour to go and work out in the gym
and this has many advantages for your health, e g weight loss, refreshed mind and you are able to be
more productive in the afternoon at work.

Emails
A common cause of stress is the amount of emails in our inboxes.
If you dont need to act on it, just delete it immediately.
Act immediately if it needs to be acted on .If left until later you may never have the time to go back
to it.
Sometimes it needs actioning but you cant deal with it immediately, you can create groups for later
action in terms of priority e g short term, medium term, long term.
It may be a good idea to have a set time of the day to deal with emails, perhaps first thing in the
morning, just before lunchbreak and at the end of the day before you go home.
However, it has to be realised that some people do need to have their email inboxes on all day so
that they can receive any important emails that may come in.
The same applies to going on the internet.
We all know that people can spend longer time than they intended to as they keep clicking from one
site to the other.
You have to be disciplined about how much time you dedicate to going on the internet.

Create Time for Yourself

In the midst of the various life stresses, you must create time for yourself to wind down and relax.
If you are a parent who has to go to work and look after children in the evening, do homework with
them and prepare them for the next day, it is a good idea to have a time where you can relax
yourself at the end of the day. If you are a couple, it is good to have me time with your partner once
the children have gone to bed. This helps to improve your relationship and keep you close to your
partner.

Healthy Eating Habits

When you are stressed, there may be a tendency to comfort eat and thereby put on weight.
And you may even get more stressed by the fact that you are putting on weight when you did not
intend to.
Some people drink excessively when stressed or smoke cigarettes or hard drugs in order to feel
relaxed. As mentioned earlier before, this will not help.
You should try to eat foods that are low in fat /carbohydrates/sugars.
Avoid processed foods as much as possible as they usually contain high levels of sugar.
Aim for a balanced, nutritious diet.
Eat regular meals.
Make your diet more Mediterranean in type, i e more fruits and vegetables.
Drinking lots of water is also good to keep your body healthy.
Be careful with what you eat close to bedtime.
Having caffeine, alcohol or a large meal can disturb your sleep.
Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, energy drinks and fizzy drinks contain caffeine and should ideally not be
consumed within four hours of going to bed.

Volunteering
Its a good idea to give your time to the service of other people (if you have spare time on your
hands).Whilst you are doing it, it takes off your mind from having to ruminate about your problems.
For example, you could join the Samaritans and talk to people who may be going to through stress
for one reason or the other. They hopefully would give you any necessary training.
The same applies to all other areas depending on where your skill set lies, e g a chef may decide to
volunteer in a soup kitchen or in a hostel for homeless people.

Mind-set
Having a positive outlook to life generally helps to prevent you from becoming easily stressed.
Let your glass be half full and not half empty.
Always try to see the positive in people and situations,
With a positive outlook, you will develop confidence in yourself and in this way you can be in
control.
Accept what cannot be changed.
There is the saying that says God give me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the
things I cannot change, and wisdom to know the difference.
If you are in for example a stressful relationship, it may not be wise to try to change your partners
personality, it might be better if you try to understand him/her and both of you work out ways of
making the relationship better.

Learn to say no
Some people try to please other people by saying yes to everything that they are asked to do,
whether it was convenient or not.
They start to feel overwhelmed and stressed.
You must learn to say no, sorry I am not able to do that to anything you are asked to do if it is not
convenient for you.

Resilience
You will need to have a resilient frame of mind in order to be able to bounce back after a period of
stress.
You should have knowledge of how to calm down after becoming stressed or angry with people
around you.
Try not to avoid the situations that you associate with stress.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Our thoughts and feelings affect our stress levels.
It is important to recognise that they are just thoughts without any real basis and they are not
necessarily facts.
You must remember that the thoughts should be questioned as they are based on wrong
assumptions most of the time, i e stress produces irrational thoughts and actions.
Self-awareness becomes very important here, which is knowing how the stressful situation affects
your thoughts and feelings and also how it affects you physically.
When you are feeling stressed you need to be able to recognise an unhelpful thought such as
Im going to fail this exam as I have not prepared much
In order to challenge this negative/unhelpful thought, you can ask yourself
Have I passed exams in the past?
What would happen if I continue to spend time ruminating on these thoughts and not doing what I
should be doing to get my desired result?
If a friend was in a similar situation what would my advice be to the friend?
So, instead of expending time on negative thoughts and irrational fears, you will try to challenge yourself to
knuckle down and do the study required for the exam.

Money Management
Money is a major factor causing stress in the UK and America and it is particularly common in people
who have children less than eighteen years of age.
It is more important than ever before to talk freely about money as a family and teach the young
ones how to deal with money so that they can manage their money wisely when they grow up.
Discussions about money are almost a taboo amongst many families and this has gone on for
generations.
Aim to have a family spending plan.
Focus on what are the essential expenses and those that are not essential can be done without.
Have financial goals, for example, save for a vacation or a car or a house.
You could put the goals on a bulletin board so that it can serve as a reminder and it helps both adults
and children alike.
Nowadays, money has become an abstract matter in that we use mainly credit cards and online
banking to pay for stuff and rarely do people carry cash anymore.

It might help to set aside a jar or a piggy bank and put coins/notes periodically so that the children
can see how the savings grow.
Seeing is believing as the saying goes!
Parents should also be cautious about what they say to their children.
Parents often say things like we cannot afford it to their children when they ask them for stuff that
they would like to have, for example, a new phone .This would make the children to have a wrong
understanding of the family finances. They may start to worry that the family hasnt got enough
finances for their needs. Instead, the parents can say something like lets plan how to save for it or
lets put it on your birthday list. This helps the children learn not to have an attitude of instant
gratification and they will learn to have the discipline to wait until they can save the money up.
When parents give monthly allowance to their children, it might be a good idea to divide the money
into separate areas such as spending, saving, donating, investing.
All these will create good money management skills in the children.
If your family is struggling with credit card debts, it is advisable to cut up the credit cards and seek
the advice of a debt specialise to find a solution.
And there is an age old adage that says cut your coat according to your size
There is so much pressure nowadays to buy the latest gadgets, electronics, designer shoes, designer
clothes etc. such that people just go into unnecessary troubles to get it even when they clearly know
that they cannot afford.
It is a different story if you have the means to do it.
The advice would be to try to live within your means
If your means is not enough to cater for your needs, look for a better job or try to get further
qualifications to enable you to acquire the skills or knowledge needed for a better paying job or
better business opportunities.

Diversion
When you start to feel stressed, you could try to take your mind off it by doing activities that you
enjoy e g going for a walk, listening to music, having a relaxing bath or shower, or watching a
favourite television programme or movie.
The idea is just to get your mind occupied with something pleasurable.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness exercises are ways paying attention to the present moment using techniques such as
medication, breathing or yoga.
Training in mindfulness helps people to become more aware of their thoughts, feelings and body
sensations so that instead of being overwhelmed by them, they can manage them better.
If you practice mindfulness, you can get more insight into your emotions , boost your attention and
improve relationships.
Much of our stress is related thoughts and feelings about the past and the future.

Practising Mindful Breathing

1) Sit in a comfortable position with your eyes closed and your back straight.
2) Bring your attention to your breathing
3) Imagine that you have a balloon in your stomach. Every time you breathe in, the balloon inflates,
each time you breathe out, the balloon deflates. Take note of the sensations as you breathe in and
out. Your chest and stomach will rise with inspiration and fall with expiration.
You will notice that thoughts enter into your mind, that is not unexpected, because that is what the
mind does, it thinks. Just notice the thoughts and then bring your attention back to the breathing.
You may notice sounds, physical feelings and emotions, and again, just try to bring your attention
back to your breathing.
Do not follow those thoughts or feelings, dont blame yourself for having them or analyse them in
any way.
It doesnt matter how many times your attention drifts, just keep bringing it back to your breathing.
You could do this for anything from 15 to 30 minutes daily.
The more you can practice this mindful breathing exercise, the more it will help you manage your
stress.

Deep Muscle Relaxation

Deep muscle relaxation is often helpful in reducing overall levels of tension.
Please read the instructions first and eventually learn them by heart.
1. Look for a quiet, warm, and comfortable place with no chance of disturbance. Do it at a time
when you feel most relaxed.
2. Lie down and make yourself comfortable
3. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few minutes, breathing slowly and
calmly.
4. Count 1-2-3 breathing in
5. And count 1-2 3 breathing out
6. Say the word calm or relax to yourself as you breathe out.
This exercise will take you through different muscle groups, teaching you to tense first and then
relax.
You should breathe in as you tense the muscles and breathe out as you relax the muscles.
Start with one muscle group and then move on to others.
Hands
Clench one fist tightly and think about the tension you feel in the muscles of your hand and forearm.
Study the tension for a few seconds then relax your hands.
Take note of the difference between the tension and the relaxation.
Do the same with the other hand.
Think about how the muscles feel when the muscles are relaxed.
Think about the difference in how the muscles feel when they are relaxed and when they are tense.
After the hands you can then go on to other groups of muscles such as
Arms
Bend your elbows and tense your hand.
Feel the tension in your in your upper arms for a few seconds and then relax.

Neck
Bend your head back and roll it from side to side slowly.
Feel the tension in the muscles, then bring your head to the normal position.
Face
Frown your face and then relax it,
Clench your jaw and then relax it.
Notice the difference between the contraction and the relaxation.
Shoulder
Shrug your shoulders up and then relax them
Chest
Take a deep breath, hold it in, notice the tension, then relax and return to normal breathing.
Stomach
Tense your stomach muscles tightly and then relax
Buttocks
Squeeze your buttocks together and relax
Legs
straighten your legs and bend your feet towards your hips and then relax.
Try to practice these exercises daily.
They may be done even when you are not in your own home e g on the train, whilst waiting for the
bus, when you are feeling nervous etc.

Aromatherapy
Aromatherapy is the practice of using the natural oils extracted from flowers and other plants to
enhance psychological and physical wellbeing.
The oils are known as essential oils.
The commonly used ones are

Lavender

Frankincense

Rose

Chamomile

Vanilla

Peppermint

Geranium

Lemongrass

Bergamot

Cinnamon

Jasmine

Valerian

They can be very potent in their pure form so they should be used with carrier oil like jojoba oil or
diamond oil before use. They may then be applied onto the skin to massage the skin, or onto a
handkerchief or pillow.
They can also be used as bath salts.
It is important to recognise the difference between pure oils and the artificially made fragrance oils
which contain synthetic chemicals which may themselves not be very kind to the skin.

Yoga
Yoga is the oldest defined practice of self-development.
The techniques that have been found to help reduce stress derive from yoga. Some of those
techniques are controlled breathing, meditation, physical movement, mental imagery, stretching.
Yoga derives its name from the word yoke which means to bring together and it does exactly that,
which is to bring together the mind, body and spirit.
Yoga helps to reduce stress, gives sound sleep, gives a sense of wellbeing, reduces anxiety and
muscle tension. It also reduces pain and helps to improve mood.
Yoga does involve some time commitment and may be difficult if your body is not very flexible as it
does involve quite a bit of stretching and forming different poses.
You should seek advice from your doctor before you start yoga as it may not be such a good idea in
people with herniated discs, risk of blood clots, glaucoma, balance problems, pregnancy and those
with uncontrolled blood pressure.

Reflexology
Reflexology involves the application of pressure to the feet, hands and ears .The aim is to send a
calming message to the central nervous system which in turn sends signals to the body to adjust the
tension levels.
Stress in the body can cause pain.
Reflexology may reduce pain by reducing stress and improving mood.
Reflexology promotes relaxation and brings balance to the body.
It encourages relaxation of the muscles in the body.
It also relaxes mind, body and spirit.
It can feel pleasurable and relaxing to receive.
It invigorates and energises the body.

Medication
There are some medications that can be used to treat high stress and and anxiety levels.
Examples are benzodiazepines, antidepressants like fluoxetine or paroxetine.
The medications however can have side effects and they can affect your ability to cope with the
stress naturally.
So, it is better in general to try and do some or all of the above suggested ideas first for more long
lasting effects.
Wishing you a better control of your stressful situations!