Overview: Part I

Marriage is the socially recognized union of two or more people. Throughout

the world, it is an effective method of regulating heterosexual intercourse
by defining who is socially acceptable as a sexual partner and who is
not. Following marriage, all people, other than one's spouse, are usually
defined as off limits for sexual access. In this way, socially disruptive sexual
competition is reduced. In male dominated societies, these sexual access
restrictions often are more rigorously applied to wives than to
husbands. Marriage also functions as a glue in the organization of society. It
establishes social relationships that are the foundation for families and
households. In many societies, it also is an important tool for creating
economically and politically valuable links between families.

Marriage Partner Selection

Selecting a marriage partner is very much a culturally defined process. The
rules governing selection vary widely from society to society and are often
complex. How would you go about selecting a long-term mate? Where would
you begin? What criteria would you use? Would you take the views and
wishes of your relatives and friends into consideration?

When we look around the world to see how other societies deal
with these questions, it is clear that love and sexual
compatibility are not always the basis for selecting a spouse.
However, when romantic love is an important criterion, physical
beauty is frequently a key factor. Age, health, body shape, and
especially facial appearance are usually the focus. What is
considered to be attractive varies considerably from culture to
Padaung woman
culture. For instance, if yougrew up in the Padaung tribal (Thailand)
culture of Thailand, you probably would consider the woman
shown on the right with heavy neck rings to be unusuallydesirable.

It is clear that concepts of beauty are not universal. Some traditional societies
of Africa and the South Pacific define large, plump bodies as being attractive,
especially for women. Europeans and North Americans today usually define
such a body shape as being unhealthy and even ugly. However, ideals of
beauty change over time. The slender people shown in the photo on the
left below may be an ideal today, but in 18th and19th century Europe, they

1
generally would not have been considered plump enough to be pretty.
Renoir's sketch of a woman shown below on the right reflects this preference
for plumper bodies.

Common North American 19th century European preference

and European Cultural for heavier female bodies
ideal of beauty (sketch by Auguste Renoir)

In China, round "moon-shaped" faces, like the one shown below on the
left, have been considered exceptionally beautiful. In contrast, angular
Northern European faces, like the one on the right below, have been viewed
as being undesirable. Similarly, long-legged Europeans have often
been stereotyped as being unattractively stork-like. The Chinese also have
traditionally thought that large female feet are ugly. Prior to 1949, rich
families sometimes bound the feet of their daughters tightly with
clothwrappings so as to stunt their growth. This of course resulted in severe
foot deformities that prevented them from walking normally. However, it made
it much easier for them to marry a rich man since they were now more
attractive. Over the last two decades, mainland China has rapidly
industrialized and developed modern high-rise cities. They have also begun
to emulate the life-styles of North America and Europe. This has resulted in a
change in middle class concepts of beauty. Taller Chinese men and women
are increasingly viewed as being more attractive and successful.
Subsequently, there is a thriving business in surgery to increase leg length. It
is also becoming popular for women to use makeup and even plastic surgery
to acquire more European-like faces.

Comparison of traditional Chinese

and European concepts of beauty

2
The Chinese are no more prejudiced about appearance than are people from
other parts of the world. Ethnocentric values universally play an important
part in our perceptions of beauty. However, some psychologists have
suggested that in all societies the essence of beauty is a symmetrical face
and body. For instance, having the same shape eyes equidistant from the
center line of the face and at the same elevation on the head would be
universally considered attractive. Individual cultural differences come into
play in favoring particular shapes, sizes, and colors of eyes. It has been
suggested that body asymmetry can indicate other hidden genetic
abnormalities. If that is the case, preference for symmetry could have
evolutionary advantages.

Personality, education, wealth, and other individual

characteristics also are important mate selection criteria in
many societies. In fact, they may be far more important
than physical beauty. In India, the parents of young middle
class urban women seeking a husband commonly place an
add in newspapers. These adds prominently mention the
potential bride's college degrees, caste , and implied
potential for paying a
large dowry .
An arranged marriage
in contemporary India
Television, cinema, and other
largely Western dominated mass media have been
responsible for spreading the notion of romantic love
around the world. In previously more isolated nations,
such as Nepal, the increasing stress on romantic love
Passionate kissing in public
has been disruptive of traditional marriage practices in (a Western image of romantic
which two brothers marry the same women. The love that makes many people
Western version of romantic love fosters the desire for in the Middle East and East
Asia very uncomfortable)
exclusive emotional attachments which undermines
marriages in which a spousemust be shared.

Arranged marriages have been common throughout the world. This is due to
two principal considerations. First, a marriage unites two families, not just two
people. All of a family's members become obligated by the marriage of one of
its members. In addition, marriages can be valuable tools in creating alliances
and, therefore, must be considered carefully and even negotiated. Secondly,
mate selection is seen as being too important a decision to be left up to
inexperienced young people, especially if they have had little contact with
members of the opposite gender. Parents are presumed to have the

3
experience needed to help their children find a mate who is appropriate for
them.

In some nations, the legal system encourages

arranged marriages. In Pakistan, for instance, the law
prohibits women from marrying without parental
consent. This is based on Islamic teachings in
the Koran that require fathers to protect their
daughters. This obligation has been interpreted as
advocating arranged marriages. Specifically, it is seen as a father's duty to
find suitable husbands for his daughters, however, he should not force them
into unwanted marriages.

It is common for people today in the Western World to strongly reject the idea
of arranged marriages and to consider them to be barbaric infringements on
the "universal human rights" of young adults and especially of women.
However, it is useful to suspend our own ethnocentric views on this matter in
order to understand why arranged marriages continue to be popular in some
societies. In addition to being integral parts of their cultural traditions,
arranged marriages are usually seen as being better for the young people
getting married and for the community in general because they are thought to
result in lasting marriages, and they bring families together. In contrast,
basing marriage selection on romantic love alone is often a socially isolating
process. The intense romantic focus on one other individual can
separate people from their families and friends. It is common for newly
married couples in the Western World to set up their own independent
household which may be hundreds or even thousands of miles away from
family members. This life apart is an appalling prospect for people in
traditional societies that practice arranged marriages. It is also an
ethnocentric projection to see arranged marriages as being inevitably
loveless. In societies that have them, married couples often become loving
life-partners. Their marriages set them on a path of discovery to love. In the
West, marriage is usually at the end of this path. In both cases, the
destination is the same.

Restrictions to Sexual Access

4
No society allows a person to have complete sexual
access to everyone who might be a potential sexual
partner. There are always social and legal restraints.
In male dominated societies, women are usually
expected to be virgins before marriage. They are also
expected to mate only with their husbands. There
often is an expectation that a woman will remain celibate after her husband
dies, regardless of her age. These same rules rarely apply to men. Such a
double standard has been a traditional cultural pattern in rural Greece, Italy,
and a number of other countries around the Mediterranean Basin.

At the other extreme, are societies like the Muria Tribe

of Central India. At the age of six, boys and girls
traditionally are placed together into a village
dormitory by their parents. Through their early teen
years, they are encouraged to carry out sexual
liaisons with each other to provide them with
experiences that will help in selecting compatible marital partners later in life.

All societies, including the Muria, have incest taboos . These are rules
prohibiting sexual intercourse with close relatives. While the definition of who
is included in this prohibition varies throughout the world, it generally at least
includes members of one's nuclear family , such as parents, brothers, and
sisters. Commonly, the taboo extends to grandparents, some cousins,
uncles, aunts, and may even include more distant relatives.

Societies that have rigid class stratification tend to be more restrictive in terms
of sexual experimentation before marriage. As social inequality between the
classesincreases in such societies, parents become more concerned with
preventing their children from marrying "beneath them." Premarital sexual
permissiveness is generally prohibited because it might lead to such
undesirable attachments. Likewise, the idea of romantic love before marriage
is discouraged. However, there are ways of getting around such restrictions
in all societies. These include secret liaisons and elopements. Shakespeare's
dramatic story of Romeo and Juliet describes just such a case. The two
young lovers were forbidden to have contact by their families but they
contrived to meet in secret anyway.

5
 Overview: Part II
Actual mating patterns may be different from the cultural ideal. For instance,
in the more traditional regions of Spain, Portugal, and Latin America,
men generally strive to be machos-- that is, confident, strong, dignified, brave
men. Machos should be overtly masculine and sexually active. They are
expected to have a wife with many children and possibly one or more
mistresses. Men are usually assumed to be adulterous by nature. Women, in
contrast, are expected to be passive in responding to the demands of their
husbands and to have sexual intercourse only with them and only when they
are married. They are to emulate the Virgin Mary in being chaste. As a
result, this female counterpart to machismo has been referred to
as marianismo (from Maria or Mary).

Spanish ideals of machismo

and marianismo

In reality, both men and women deviate from these ideals. However, women
are usually more often punished for it. Especially when there is a pregnancy
outside of wedlock. Androgynous men may only suffer ridicule for their
failure to achieve the difficult goals of machismo. This sort of double standard
over sexual fidelity is common in male dominated cultures.

All societies have rules to regulate marriage partner selection. Even when
individuals are left free to make their own choices, there are still rules that limit
and narrow the range of potential marital partners. These rules can be explicit
or implicit. In North America, the important social constraints are mostly
implicit. Family and friends usually encourage marriage within the same
social class, religion, and ethnic/racial group. Explicit rules are in the form of
formal laws. Typically in North America, these only require that a mate be of
the opposite gender, over the age of consent, willing, alive, and not a close
family member.

6
In small-scale societies, most people are expected to
get married. Unmarried adults are usually pitied if
they are women and distrusted if they are
men. Cities in large-scale societies are more likely to
provide an acceptable status for unmarried adults.
Such societies are also likely to be somewhat more
tolerant of deviant dress and uncommon life styles. single, independent women
in Europe
For instance, the two young urban European women
shown here have the freedom to remain unmarried as well as socially and
financially independent.

Marriage in all societies involves acceptance of an agreement, either written

or verbal. Most often, this includes four categories of privileges, rights, and
obligations of the marrying couple:

1) agreeing to exclusive sexual access

2) having and caring for children
3) accepting a sexual division of labor
4) agreeing to extend kinship bonds to your spouse's relatives

The right to have children is not the same as sexual access, though it may
initially seem so. It means the right to socially recognized descendants. In
many cultures, biological paternity is often less important than socially
acknowledged paternity. In any case, the prolonged dependency of human
children requires a long term agreement to share in their upbringing.

The acceptance of a division of labor based primarily on gender involves

sharing the fruits of each other's work. In most societies, this results in
women performing the routine domestic household tasks such as cleaning
and food preparation as well as child rearing. Men are usually responsible for
the periodic household tasks requiring upper body strength and for work
outside of the home. This traditional division of labor has been popularly
interpreted in the Western World as exploitation of women. However, that
may be a hasty conclusion. Likewise, it would be equally premature to see it
as exploitation of men. In depth, objective studies of marriage and family life
in other cultures often show that the reality is far more complex with mutual
benefits derived by both men and women.

The agreement to an extension of kinship bonds is a right to have long term

social ties with in-laws that can provide security against economic and social
misfortune. In small-scale societies, marriage is usually the best means of
securing and assuring alliances between unrelated families.

7
Limiting the Number of Births
Despite the common desire to have children, most societies try to limit or at
least space births to allow those babies that are here to survive and have
economic advantages. Common methods of preventing pregnancy even in
small isolated societies with low levels of technology include:

1) not allowing adolescents to marry (especially

boys)
2) using magic (ritual acts, protective jewelry, etc.)
practicing abortion (chemical or surgical)
3) adhering to a post partum sex taboo
(prohibition against husbands
4) and wives having sexual intercourse for a
period of time following the
birth of a child)
Post partum sex taboos are surprisingly
long in some societies. Among the Indians
of the North American Plains husbands and
wives traditionally were expected to abstain
from sexual intercourse for up to four years
after each birth. Among the Dani and
some neighboring societies in New Guinea, Mother and child
in New Guinea
the abstention was for five years.

North American and European cultures also advocate post

partum sex taboos "for the health of the mother."
Regardless of the rationale, however, the net effect is the
same. Births are spaced farther apart. In societies with
long post partum sex taboos, it is common for husbands to
be relatively free to have sex with other women or men
during the required period of marital sexual prohibition.
This is not the case in Europe and North America today.
North American couple

8
As a last resort, population may be controlled
by infanticide (that is, killing young children). In the
past, the Inuit , or Eskimo , of the North American
polar regions were occasionally forced by winter starvation
to kill the individual within the family who had the least
potential for bringing in food. That was usually the
youngest daughter. She died so that the others could
live. The Inuit took no pleasure in killing their baby girls.
They also were well aware that this selective female
infanticide had long term negative effects in their society. It ultimately reduced
the number of marriageable women, resulting in increased competition among
men for mates. This has been suggested as a leading cause of relatively high
murder rates for Inuit men in earlier times.

Infanticide in response to severe economic hardships has not been unique to

the Inuit. However, no society considers it to be a desirable practice. It
occurs where circumstances leave desperate
parents with little alternative.

Female infanticide reportedly also has occurred

in the People's Republic of China in response to
the official one child per family policyinstituted in
1979 and to the high cultural value placed on
male offspring. Many female fetuses allegedly
have been selectively aborted and female "Surplus" men lost in warfare
newborn infants have been killed secretly or
abandoned so that parents can have another chance at producing a male
heir. The net effect of this for China now is a relative scarcity of marriageable
women, which allows them to demand more from prospective husbands.
Another consequence has been a high number of Chinese girl infants that are
adopted by North Americans and people in other Western nations.

Warfare also can have a limiting effect on birth frequency. The removal of
men in their breeding years from society can reduce the number of
pregnancies, especially if monogamy is the rule and extramarital sexual
intercourse is rare. Warfare also has the harsh effect of killing "surplus
people." However, it is doubtful that any society went to war with birth control
and population reduction as an intended goal.

9
 Marriage Rules: Part I
There are two universal categories of marriage partner selection restrictions.
They are referred to by anthropologists as exogamy and endogamy
rules. Exogamy rules require that marriage be outside of some defined social
group, such as one's own family. In contrast, endogamy rules require that it
be within some larger group, such as the local community. In other words,
rules of exogamy tell you who you cannot marry, while rules of endogamy
specify who would be acceptable and preferred as a marriage partner. Both
of these types of rules operate at the same time.

Social distance is the key factor in this determination. Incest taboos exclude
close relatives (the exogamous group). Beyond that group are more
distant relatives, friends, and associates (the endogamous group) with
whom marriage is usually desirable. More distant still are all outsiders or
aliens with whom marriage and sexual relations are by and large either

Traditional wedding
in Punjab, India

discouraged or forbidden.

In North America, the exogamous group includes an individual's siblings,

parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and sometimes cousins. There often

10
are explicit incest laws prohibiting marriage or mating with these relatives.
The endogamous group generally consists of the members of an individual's
ethnic/racial, religious, socio-economic and/or age groups. The North
American endogamy rules, which encourage marriage within these groups,
are usually in the form of implicit social pressure by friends and relatives.
These rules may remain unstated below the surface until an individual tries to
deviate from them.

About 30% of all cultures define some cousins as preferred mates. In other
words, the endogamous group includes relatives outside of the nuclear
family but not more distant than cousins. In the rural areas of India, Pakistan,
and Bangladesh, it is not unusual to find that a third of marriages are with first
cousins. The rate is even higher in some Middle Eastern nations. Roughly
half of the marriages are with first cousins in much of the Arabian Peninsula,
especially in the south. Among the Bedouin Arabs , for instance, marriage
partner preference is specifically for a patrilateral parallel cousin (father's
brother's child). To understand this preference, it is first necessary to know
that Bedouins traditionally determine kinship patrilineally --that is, only from
males to their offspring. The red people in the diagram are all related
patrilineally.

Bedouins make a distinction between cousins who are members of the

patrilineal extended family (parallel cousins) and those who are not (cross
cousins). By marrying his patrilateral parallel cousin (father's brother's
daughter), ego is marrying the closest female relative other than his mother,
aunt, and sister.

11
Marrying a patrilateral parallel cousin potentially
strengthens extended family solidarity and reduces
obligations beyond the family. This Bedouin marriage
preference ultimately means that the family tends to be a
relatively closed, isolated group. Alliances between
different extended families are inhibited. In reality,
however, genealogies are not all straight-jackets within
which the Bedouins are constrained. They can be
creatively manipulated or altered as social and political Bedouin men in Jordan
circumstances require.

Among the Yanomamö Indians of Brazil and Venezuela, the cultural

preference is to unite different patrilineal lineages by exchanges of women.
This begins by two men marrying each other's sisters, thereby creating a
kinship bond between the men. The alliance is continued by men in
subsequent generations marrying their cross cousins (father's sister's
daughters) as shown below. The yellow and red extended families are linked
anew each generation.

A Yanomamö village

Due to Yanomamö intermarriages in previous generations, ego's wife is not

only his father's sister's daughter but also is likely to be his mother's brother's
daughter. Study the diagram above to assure yourself that this could be the
case. Since one's spouse is often related on both sides of the family, it
is essentially a bilateral cross cousin marriage pattern. The net result is
reinforcement each generation of ties between paired lineages that assures
dependable allies in the frequent Yanomomö intervillage raiding and internal
village squabbles.

Number of Spouses Permitted

12
How many spouses an individual is allowed to have varies from culture to
culture. The rule that is familiar to North Americans and Europeans
is monogamy--that is, one man married to one woman. While this is now by
far the most common form of marriage around the world, it is, in a sense, the
least preferred. In a sample of 850 societies, less than 20% preferred
monogamy over other marriage patterns.

In North America and most other large-scale industrial

societies where remarriage is permitted after divorce or
death of a spouse, there often isserial monogamy--that
is, marriage to multiple spouses, but only one at a time.
However, in Greek villages, women traditionally have
been socially prohibited from marrying again after the A Greek coffee house
death of their husbands. On becoming widows, (traditional male bastion
they are thought to rapidly go through in conservative villages)
menopausemaking them less desirable as potential
wives for most men. Widows take on a somewhat sexually neutral status and,
therefore, are free for the first time in their lives to go into male places, such
as coffee houses. However, they must wear black clothes to indicate their
widow status for the rest of their lives. Greek men who become widowers are
not similarly restricted and stigmatized as being gender neutral.

Polygamy , the marriage of more than one spouse at a time, has been
popular on all continents except Europe. Surprisingly, it is often popular even
among women in some societies. When most people think of polygamy, they
assume that it is a pattern in which a number of women share the same
husband. This relatively common form of polygamy is known as polygyny
. However, a rarer form, known as polyandry , occurs when several
husbands share the same wife. Both forms of polygamy have advantages
and disadvantages over monogamy in their
particular cultural settings.

Polygyny is most common today in Moslem nations,

among cattle herding societies of East Africa, and in
the remnants of the old kingdoms of West Africa.
The rationale for a man to have more than one wife
is usually a combination of more sexual partners,
more children, and, above all, increased social Polygynous family in Nigeria
prestige. However, the European belief that
polygyny is nothing more than the exploitation of

13
women and that wives in a polygynous household are weak is somewhat
of an ethnocentric projection that does not fit the reality in all societies.

Among the Turkana of Kenya, for instance, a wife

generally considers it an economic advantage for her family
to have additional co-wives since the women help each other
in doing domestic chores and in caring for their animals. The
co-wives may also help their husband find a new bride.
They interview young women with a goal of finding one who
will be compatible with them and hard working. Their
husband usually must have their approval before going
ahead with the wedding. For him, an additional wife also has
disadvantages. The co-wives may get together, gang-up on him, and force
him to do things that he does not want to do. However, he achieves a higher
social status by having more wives.

Polyandry is found in some isolated rural regions of

India, Sri Lanka, and especially Nepal, and Tibet.
Usually, it isfraternal polyandry --that is, two
brothers married to the same woman. This reduces
the problem of determining what family their children
belong to since both potential fathers have the same
parents. The younger brother typically marries the
shared wife when he is in his early teens but often
does not have sexual relations with her for years. Her initial relationship with
him is often something between a mother and a wife.

Polyandry has distinct economic advantages for these small-scale agricultural

societies. It keeps the family farm in one piece. It allows one of the husbands
to be away from the farm working for months to years at a time without
disrupting the family. It also provides economic security for the wife when one
of her husbands dies. However, it places an increased domestic work load on
her. In recent years, the introduction of the notion of romantic love has begun
to be disruptive in polyandrous marriages due to growing demands for
exclusive bonds with the wife by each husband. However, occasional female
infanticide resulting from the high priority placed on having a male child very
likely will make polyandry a practical solution for the near future.

14
 Marriage Rules: Part II
Monogamy, polygyny, and polyandry all have inherent though different types
of problems for family members. Not surprisingly, husband and wife
disagreements are common with monogamy. Parent-child rivalry for the
attention of the other parent is typical also.

With polygyny, jealousy between co-wives over perceived unequal attention

from their shared husband is common. However, this is often avoided, or at
least reduced, by giving each wife a separate house and a ranked status. The
first wife is usually in a commanding position. Rivalry is also reduced
by sororal polygyny , which is sisters marrying the same man. The
assumption is that sisters will be more likely to amicably share a
husband. The most disruptive rivalry in a polygynous family is often between
the children, especially if there is something important to inherit, such as a
royal title or wealth. This also results in rivalry between the mothers. The
typical way of avoiding this situation is to formally define the eldest son or
daughter of the senior wife as the heir apparent.

With traditional polyandry, the most common source of friction is rivalry

between the fathers and their children for the attention of their wife/mother.
This causes tension for the already heavily burdened wife.

Unusual Marriage Arrangements

Some societies are flexible in allowing unconventional
marriage arrangements. The cattle herding Nuer tribe
of southern Sudan are an example. A woman who is unable
to have children is sometimes married as a "husband" to
another woman who then is impregnated by a secret
boyfriend. The barren woman becomes the socially
recognized father and thereby adds members to her
father's patrilineal kin group.

The Nuer also have several forms of "ghost marriage." A man may marry a
woman as a stand-in for his deceased brother. The children that are born of
this union will be considered descendants of the dead man--the "ghost" is the
socially recognized father. This allows the continuation of his family line and
succession to an important social position. A Nuer woman of wealth may

15
marry a deceased man to keep her wealth and power. Married Nuer women
traditionally have no significant wealth--it belongs to their husbands. With this
form of "ghost marriage", there will be no living husband, though she may
subsequently have children. She is, in effect, a widow who takes care of her
husband's wealth and children until they are mature.

Second Marriage Preferences

Many societies have specific kinds of second marriage rules that
anthropologists refer to as the levirate and the sororate . The levirate
specifies that a widow should marry the brother of her deceased husband (as
shown in the diagram below). The rationale for this rule is that it keeps the
dead man's children and wealth within his family. It also maintains the
existing bond between the two families. The levirate was named after Levi the
son of Jacob in the Judeo-Christian Old Testament. It is a marriage rule that
was common in Jewish society several thousand years ago and in other
patrilineal societies that have polygyny.

A mirror image of the levirate is the sororate. It is a rule that a widower should
marry the sister of his deceased wife (as shown in the diagram below). Both
families usually encourage this remarriage because it continues the bond
between them. Where polygyny exists, there may be a degree of sexual
permissiveness between a husband and his wife's younger sister in
anticipation of a presumed future marriage between them. This anticipatory
sororate generally is found in societies in which sororal polygyny is
popular. The older sister is likely to encourage this sexual relationship
because she knows that her younger sister would be more likely to take care
of her children if she dies than would a co-wife who is not related to her.

The Price of Marriage

16
The marriage process often involves a predetermined agreement to transfer
wealth or to perform labor for one's in-laws. In the mostly monogamous
societies of Europe and Asia, this traditionally has been in the form of
a dowry, which is money or property given by the bride's family to the groom,
ostensibly to establish a new household or estate. It is, in a sense, her share
of the family inheritance. Dowries may be seriously negotiated, especially
when the bride's family is wealthy. Until the early 20th century in Europe, rich
families commonly hired lawyers do draw up formal marriage contracts that
often specified the dowry details. The North American traditions of the "hope
chest" and the bride's family paying for the wedding are survivals of a dowry
system.

In India today, the failure to pay all of an agreed upon dowry amount is
considered an extremely serious problem. It places a newly married young
woman in a difficult and dangerous position in the home that she shares with
her husband's family. Hundreds of these brides die each year in what are
euphemistically referred to as "kitchen accidents." In fact, some are killed by
the husband, mother-in-law, or other members of his family who view the
failure to pay the agreed upon dowry as being a breech of contract and the
ruining of his life. The death of his "failed" wife allows him to marry again and
to obtain the dowry that his family believes he deserves.

Bride price (or wealth) is the reverse of a dowry. It involves the groom giving
things of high value to the bride's father. Bride price is most common among
polygynous, small-scale, patrilineal societies--especially in sub-Saharan
Africa and among Native Americans. When European missionaries first
encountered bride price, they misinterpreted it as being nothing more than a
demeaning "bride purchase." It actually is a way of showing respect for the
bride and her parents. At the same time, it is a compensation for the bride's
family for the loss of her economic services. Very importantly, it is also a way
of validating the groom's right to future offspring. In some societies, children
are not "legitimate" if their father did not pay a bride price. It is more important
than a marriage ceremony is establishing legitimacy.

Often the bride price is large enough to require kinsmen to help the groom in
making the payment. This is especially common among pastoralists societies,
such as the cattle herders of East Africa who have traditionally paid bride
price with cows. Among tribes like the Nuer, Turkana, and Masai, borrowing
to make up the agreed upon bride price puts the groom in debt to his older
male relatives for many years. The bride's father usually disburses the
payment in turn as bride price for his sons and nephews. As a result, the
community's wealth is circulated.
17
 Masai mother and child

Among these tribes, the bride's family has a strong economic interest in
keeping her marriage together because a divorce would require the return of
the bride price, which often has already been given away to relatives. If there
are children, however, the bride price usually does not have to be returned,
but they belong to the groom's family. He keeps the children instead of the
bride price. In a sense, the bride price becomes a payment for children and,
therefore, has also been referred to as "progeny
price" .

In societies with little material wealth

and social rules requiring sharing, it is
rarely possible to accumulate a bride
price. As a result, such societies often
have bride service instead. The groom
agrees to work for his in-laws for a set
period of time. Among the Yanomamö
and other lowland forest peoples of South America, this
service may go on for years. Making it moredifficult is the fact
that Yanomamö men are customarily prevented from speaking directly to their
in-laws and must avoid them.

In Melanesia , the Amazon Basin of South America, and scattered

elsewhere among warlike peoples, there have been cultural patterns
allowing marriage by capture as an alternative method of acquiring a wife. It
has occurred usually when bride price could not be arranged or when women
were in short supply. It is a mistake to assume that marriage by capture is
always a forceful act on an unwilling woman. At times, it is merely a ritual or a
cover for a prearranged elopement.

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NOTE: In contemporary Japan there is a system of traditional gift exchanges
between the groom's and the bride's families that does not neatly fit the usual
definition of a dowry or a bride price. They have essentially combined both
patterns in a largely symbolic gift exchange. When a couple becomes
engaged, the two sets of parents formally exchange betrothal gifts with each
other, thereby reinforcing that the marriage will be a bond between the
families rather than just the young couple. In the Tokyo region, these "yuino"
gifts usually consist of nine items that are considered to be auspicious (e.g.,
abalone, dried bonito, dried kelp, etc.). During this ceremony, the groom also
gives "yuinokin" (betrothal money) to his future bride's family. It is understood
that this money is to be used in establishing a household for the newly wed
couple. During the late 1990's this betrothal money averaged 878,000 yen (a
little more than $7,300 U.S. dollars at the time). It is popular for urban
Japanese couples to design their own wedding rituals and to incorporate
North American traditions (e.g., white wedding dresses, tiered wedding cakes,
etc.). It is also very popular to get married in Hawaii and other places outside
of Japan. For more information about contemporary Japanese marriage
traditions see "Marriages of Convenience" and "What is the Ideal Marriage."

Residence Rules
In most societies, newly married couples do not establish their own residence
but instead become part of an existing household or compound occupied by
relatives. Which relatives are favored is culturally prescribed. However, there
are a few common patterns around the world including patrilocal ,
matrilocal , avunculocal , ambilocal , and neolocal residence. In
order to understand the rationale for each of them, it is essential to know that
the most important determining factor is the specific type of kinship system.
Of secondary importance usually are economic concerns and personal
factors.

Patrilocal residence occurs when a newly married couple establishes their

home near or in the groom's father's house. This makes sense in a society
that follows patrilineal descent (that is, when descent is measured only from
males to their offspring, as in the case of the red people in the
diagram below). This is because it allows the groom to remain near his male

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relatives. Women do not remain in their natal household after marriage with
this residence pattern. About 69% of the world's societies follow patrilocal
residence, making it the most common.

Matrilocal residence occurs when a newly married couple establishes their

home near or in the bride's mother's house. This keeps women near their
female relatives. Not surprisingly, this residence pattern is associated with
matrilineal descent (that is, when descent is measured only from females to
their offspring, as in the case of the green people below). Men leave their
natal households when they marry. About 13% of the world's societies have
matrilocal residence.

Avunculocal residence occurs when a newly married couple establishes

their home near or in the groom's maternal uncle's house. This is associated
with matrilineal descent. It occurs when men obtain statuses, jobs, or
prerogatives from their nearest elder matrilineal male relative. Having a
woman's son live near her brother allows the older man to more easily teach
his nephew what he needs to know in order to assume his matrilineally
inherited role. About 4% of the world's societies have avunculocal residence.

Ambilocal residence occurs when a newly married couple has the choice of
living with or near the groom's or the bride's family. The couple may also live
for a while with one set of parents and then move to live with the other. About
9% of the world's societies have ambilocal residence.

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Neolocal residence occurs when a newly married couple establishes their
home independent of both sets of relatives. While only about 5% of the
world's societies follow this pattern, it is popular and common in urban North
America today largely because it suits the cultural emphasis on
independence. However, economic hardship at times makes neolocal
residence a difficult goal to achieve, especially for young newlyweds.
Elsewhere, neolocal residence is found in societies in which kinship is
minimized or economic considerations require moving residence periodically.
Employment in large corporations or the military often calls for frequent
relocations, making it nearly impossible for extended families to remain
together.

There are several other rare residence patterns found scattered around the
world. These include virilocal , uxorilocal , and natolocal residence.
For those who wish to understand them as well, the glossary of this
tutorial provides brief explanations.

Regardless of the culturally preferred post-marital residence rules, at times

there are unique personal circumstances which result in a deviation. In many
societies, it is possible also to create a fictive kinship status to allow what
would otherwise be unacceptable marriage and residence patterns.

Resident Family Size

Residence rules have a major effect on the form of family that lives
together. Neolocality leads to independent households consisting of
single nuclear families--that is, a man and a woman with their children
(shown in the diagram below). This is a relatively small, two generation
family.

All other common residence rules potentially result in the formation of larger
family groups. These larger groups are most often in one of three general
forms: an extended family, a joint family, or a polygamous family. Extended
families consists of two or more nuclear families linked together by ties of
descent (as shown below). They consist of living relatives from three or more
generations.

21
Members of an extended family household usually
share farming, animal herding, and domestic
household tasks. Such families can be
efficient collective work units. However, each
generation, the number of family members tends to
get larger, which inevitably puts a severe strain on
resources. This results in personal conflicts which Extended family in Samoa
cause the extended family and its household to divide into two or more
independent families. This dynamic segmentation process usually repeats
every few generations.

Joint families consist of two or more relatives of the same generation living
together with their respective spouses and children. Polygamous
families potentially consist of all spouses and their children. This is difficult to
diagram two-dimensionally, particularly when there are three or more wives in
the case of polygynous families.

Residence rules and the size of family residential groups often change as the
economy changes. In other words, family household type correlates with
subsistence base. The following graph summarizes this relationship.

Both modern large-scale societies and hunting and gathering societies in

marginal environments have a high degree of geographic mobility that is
mandated by their economies. In the former case, jobs often
22
require periodic relocation to other parts of the country or the world. Among
foragers in harsh environments such as deserts and arctic regions, there is
usually a seasonal need to disperse the community when
food sources become scarce. Both situations make it difficult for much more
than nuclear families to stay together year round. In contrast, big families are
economically advantageous among small-scale farmers and pastoralists
because larger, permanent labor groups are needed to farm or tend herds of
animals.

Despite cultural preferences and the type of subsistence base, there may not
be a father in a home due to divorce, death, or his abandonment of
the family. As a result, amatricentric , or matrifocal , family household
may exist. Such a household consists of a woman, her children, and
sometimes her grandchildren as well. Matricentric family households have
become common in North America during the late 20th and early
21st centuries. Approximately 70% of African American children are now
being raised in such families.

There are a smaller but growing number of family households in North

America that do not have a mother in residence. These could be referred to
as patricentric or patrifocal family households.

Homosexuality
Homosexuality , or the sexual and/or emotional desire for others of the
same gender as oneself, is found widely among the societies of the world.
However, the social acceptance of it varies dramatically. In fact, the range in
permissiveness and restrictiveness with regards to homosexual acts is at least
as great as it is for heterosexual ones. In the United States, for instance,
there has been a wide difference in legal restraints on sexuality from state to

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state. Some states, like California, essentially have the same restrictions on
both homosexuality and heterosexuality. That is, all sex acts that do not lead
to bodily harm are legal as long as they are done with consenting adults in
private. However, California shares the oldest age of consent (18) among the
states. The youngest (13) is in New Mexico.

Fourteen states, Puerto Rico, and the U.S.

military have criminalized "unnatural sex acts" or "crimes against nature"--that
is, they have anti-sodomy laws. Sodomy is generally defined as anal or
oral copulation with another person or animal. It is also sometimes defined in
law more ambiguously as non-reproductive sex. Ten of these
states extended anti-sodomy laws to heterosexual partners as well.
There has been considerable variation in the possible penalty for this crime.
In Louisiana, for instance, sodomy has been a felony that could result in a 5
year prison sentence, $2000 fine, and exclusion from public jobs such as
teaching and the law. In Idaho, it theoretically could result in life in prison.
However, few people are prosecuted under anti-sodomy laws in the U.S. In
Arkansas, for instance, the current anti-sodomy law has been in existence
since 1977, but there have not been any prosecutions based on it. In June
2003, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a Texas anti-sodomy law. This
decision very likely will have the effect of nullifying all such laws in the
country. These legal changes regarding homosexuality apparently reflect a
growing acceptance, or at least tolerance, of it among the general public.

U. S. States With Anti-Sodomy Laws

(prior to the June 2003 Supreme Court ruling that very likely nullifies them)

(Data source: SodomyLaws website)

Elsewhere in the world, attitudes and legal consequences for homosexuality

vary from wide acceptance in Western Europe to absolute rejection in some
nations of the Middle East, Africa, and Asia. In sixteen nations, the

24
punishment for sodomy can be life in prison or even death. The most severe
penalties are in the Islamic nations that adhere to traditional law based on
interpretations of the Koran .

Severe Penalties for Homosexuality

Life in Prison Death Penalty

Uganda Mauritania
Guyana Nigeria
Bangladesh Sudan
Bhutan Afghanistan
India Pakistan
Maldives Saudi Arabia
Nepal United Arab Emirates
Singapore Yemen

(Data source: SodomyLaws website)

In considering this information, it is important to keep in mind that the

existence of harsh legal consequences for homosexuality does not
necessarily result in people being prosecuted. In Afghanistan, for instance,
there is a widespread tradition of male homosexuality. Estimates of the
number of Afghan men who engage in sex with teenage boys or other men at
some time in their lives range from 18-50%. This unusually high frequency is
quite surprising since Islamic law in Afghanistan mandates that sodomybe
punished by being burned at the stake, pushed off of a cliff, or crushed under
a toppled wall. In 1998, three homosexual men were executed in the city of
Kandahar by the then ruling ultraconservative Taliban by having a tank push a
brick wall over on them.

There is a curious double standard in regards to anti-homosexual laws--they

do not always apply to lesbians. This may be due to the fact that the
existence of female homosexuality is less likely to be socially acknowledged
or that it is considered acceptable behavior, at least in private. This double
standard is most common in the South Pacific Islands, the non-Islamic nations
of Africa, and some Caribbean Islands on which a high percentage of the
population has Sub-Saharan African ancestral roots. Governments may even
officially deny that any form of homosexuality occurs. This apparently has
been the the case in Albania, Bangladesh, Congo, Lebanon, and Liberia.

Nations in Which Only Male Homosexuality is Criminalized

(Female Homosexual Acts are Apparently Ignored)

25
South Pacific Africa Caribbean Central Asia Southeast Indian Ocean
Europe

Cook Islands Botswana Grenada Kyrgyzstan Armenia Maldives

Fiji Ghana Guyana Tajikistan Srbska Sri Lanka
Kiribati Mozambique Jamaica Turkmenistan
Marshall Namibia Uzbekistan
Islands Nigeria
Niue Tanzania
Papua New Uganda
Guinea Zambia
Solomon Zimbabwe
Islands
Tokelau
Tonga
Tuvalu

(Data source: SodomyLaws website)

In 1991, the World Health Organization removed homosexuality as an illness

from their classification of diseases. Contrary to common belief in Western
Nations, laws criminalizing homosexuality are not universally disappearing
around the world. In the 1990's, Nicaragua enacted a law making it a crime.
However, in the same decade, 8nations and territories rescinded their anti-
homosexuality statutes (Bahamas, Belize, Chile, Hong Kong [China], Ireland,
Latvia, Russia, and Ukraine).

In some societies, homosexuality has been socially

accepted but limited to certain times and to certain
individuals. For example, The Papago Indians of
southern Arizona traditionally set aside nights during
which any man could perform homosexual acts.
Women could as well if they had the permission of
their husbands.

The Papago also had a socially accepted status for transvestite men.
They wore women's clothing throughout the year and did women's chores.
Unmarried men were allowed to visit them for homosexual acts.

NOTE: transvestitism, or the wearing of clothes and bodily adornment

normally associated with the other gender, is not necessarily connected with
homosexuality. It is important to understand the specific cultural patterns. In
North America, for instance, some strictly heterosexual men are sexually

26
stimulated by putting on female clothes, especially undergarments. Likewise,
many homosexual men do not wear such garb or even approve of it.

There is a double standard in regards to

transvestitism, or cross dressing, in North America
today. Women are permitted to wear overtly
masculine clothing without social disapproval,
especially in business and recreational settings.
However, American men are much more restricted
in their clothing choices. When it becomes known
that a man wears dresses or other female garb, he
is almost universally stigmatized and often labeled
as a homosexual. This can have major negative North American woman wearing
effects on his career, social life, and even personal traditionally "masculine" clothes
safety.

The anthropologically most

well known transvestites
who also often happened to
be homosexuals were
theberdache , or two- Heterosexual Plains Indian man
spirited, men of the North
American Great Plains Indian tribes. These men led
the lives of women and had socially accepted
statuses--they were valued members of their societies.

Heterosexual Plains Indian men who were going on hunting or war

expeditions generally held the view that sex with their wives or other women
was polluting and depleting. In contrast, a two-spirited man did not pose
these dangers. As a result, two-spirited men were regularly taken along to
perform women's chores and to entertain. Some of them were renowned
story tellers.

The Hijras of India are another example of a culturally accepted (or at

least tolerated) male transvestite status. These are men who dress as women
but apparently are not often homosexual. Many Hijras even have their genital
organs surgically removed to symbolize their transition to "womanhood."
They are devotees of the Hindu mother goddess Bahuchara Mata. Through
emasculation, they express their faith in her and become conduits for her
power. The Hijras are difficult to label as to gender. They identify themselves

27
as "incomplete men", "incomplete women", or "inbetweens", but the Indian
national census counts them as women. There are about 50,000 true Hijras
today living mostly in North Indian urban centers. They work at many different
kinds of jobs including construction. However, the largest percentage of them
make their living by blessing babies and entertaining at parties. Some of the
better Hijra musicians, dancers, and singers perform regularly in Indian films.
Recently, a few of the Hijras have successfully run for public office, especially
in Utar Pradesh State. In 2003, however, a court in Madhya Pradesh State
ruled that a Hijra must give up his office as mayor of Katni because he is a
male and this political office was reserved for women. There are 10's of
thousands of other eunuchs and homosexuals in India who dress as women
and falsely claim to be Hijras. Many of them make their living on the edges of
society by prostitution or by extorting money for blessing children. Few
people refuse to give them money for fear of being cursed.

Do you think that the

people in these photos
are real women or Hijras?

Click the button to see

if you are correct.

The Etoro and some other societies of the Trans-Fly River

region in southern New Guinea provide an extreme example of the social
acceptance of male homosexuality. Apparently, all Etoro men engage in
homosexual acts and most also marry and engage in heterosexual acts with
their wives. However, heterosexual intercourse is prohibited for up to 260
days of the year and is forbidden in or near their houses and vegetable
gardens. In contrast, homosexual relations are permitted at any time.

Jiwiki men in New Guinea

28
The Etoro believe that homosexual acts make crops flourish and boys strong.
Etoro men and women mostly live apart so that social contact between them
is generally limited and often hostile. Not surprisingly, their birth rates are
low. To compensate for this problem and to avoid depopulation, they
allegedly have stolen children from neighboring societies and raised them as
their own.

There is no clear explanation as to why societies are permissive or restrictive

in regards to homosexuality. However, there are two interesting correlations.
First, societies that strongly forbid abortion and infanticide are likely to be
equally intolerant of homosexuality. Second, societies that have frequent
severe food shortages are more likely to allow homosexuality. An implication
is that homosexuality may be tolerated and even encouraged when there is
severe population pressure. Heterosexual abstinence and other birth control
methods would be expected to be common then also. That appears to have
been the case with the Plains Indians and some New Guinea societies.

NOTE: It is not clear what leads one person to be homosexual and another to be
heterosexual or bisexual. Both environmental and social factors have been proposed
by psychologists and others engaged in researching this question. In reality, both kinds
of factors may be involved to some degree. In addition, an individual may change
sexual preference at different phases of his or her life. Anthony Bogaert's recent
research at Brock University in St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada indicates that birth
order within a family may be an important factor in male homosexuality. He found that
the more biological older brothers a man has, the more likely he will be homosexual,
and that it does not matter if he is raised with his older brothers. It may be that each
succeeding pregnancy with a male child somehow causes a mother's immune system to
respond to male fetuses in a way that changes their sex-related brain development.
This same correlation between male birth order and homosexuality does not occur if
older siblings are half-brothers, stepbrothers, or adopted brothers. (Science News Vol.
170 July 1, 2006)

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