Power of Love

A Course in Relationships

Teachings and Assignments

by Dr. Pillai

2013 Pillai Center for MindScience All Rights Reserved

Platos Symposium discusses why men and women are attracted to each other.
It is because in primordial times man and woman were just one androgyne -- a
being consisting of both a male and a female part.
Zeus sliced the being in two, so what was one being became two. Since that time, the
separated part is seeking to unite with the other. This is the reason for the attraction
between the two genders.
Tantra, the Hindu and Buddhist spiritual science of sex, affirms Platos notion that
sexual attraction is a spiritual phenomenon.

Key Problems in Relationships

So, I might hear from a couple, Yes, yes. We approve of the sacred nature of sex, but
how do you solve the innumerable relationship problems?
I have several answers for your question, but the most important part is the remedy
that I will suggest. First, the following are some key problems in relationships:
1. You like the guy, but he doesnt like you or vice versa.
2. We like each other, but we constantly fight.
3. I am always the one to make compromises. I am tired of it.
4. There is no love behavior, but the physical part is good or vice versa.
5. Fear/economics is the reason why we are together.
6. I dont know why we are together. It is hell.

First Change Yourself

On one of the Valentines Days, I felt the pain of hundreds of thousands of people
battling with relationship problems.
You want to change your partner/brother/father/boss/co-worker. But, have you
had any success?

You go to a counselor who says with revelatory authority that you can change only
yourself and not others. He advises you to change yourself. Yes, its good advice. You
must change yourself.

Relationship: Some Questions &Answers

There are several questions I am frequently asked about relationships:
Are relationships important for everyone?
The need for relationship varies from person to person. Generally speaking,
relationship is karmic.
The gender attraction is the collective karma of life itself. You see it in the plant
kingdom, animal kingdom and among humans. Human beings dramatize
relationship.
How can I attract the right person?
Mr. Right and Ms. Right simply dont exist. Everyone is a combination of good and
bad. You have to find out what you can live with or put up with.
As regards attraction, it is simple. You can use mantras and chants. Kleem is the
mantra for attracting relationship.
I just broke up with my boyfriend/girlfriend. The pain is unbearable. Is there a
solution?
The pain resulting from loss/separation/divorce/death is really intense. A certain
amount of grieving is indispensable.
Practice the One Minute Meditation. It will give you peace of mind and heal your
heart.
I am afraid that my spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend is going to leave me. What can I
do?
Get rid of this idea from your mind. Otherwise, you will manifest it.
Nevertheless, if you prepare for separation, that is fine, too.
How can I get rid of an obsessive relationship?

Every relationship, to a degree, is obsessive. The obsessive part is due to karma that
brings two people together. Once the karma is done, the obsession is gone.
Then, you will celebrate your aloneness as much you do being with another.

Relationship Karma: Compatibility Check

In a matrimonial relationship, you should check with a Vedic astrologer who will
compare your natural charts for compatibility.
Once, I was looking at a married couple who hated each other. I found out that Rahu,
the snake planet (i.e., the Moons North Node), was in the seventh house of
relationships in the girls chart.
Accordingly, there was constant bickering and poisonous exchanges between them.
There is a simple remedy for the problem.
Go to a Snake vortex dedicated to Rahu and do a ritual for your birth star. This
simple act will help prevent a lot of agony, psychotherapy, physical illness, and a
host of other problems.
Whatever may be the outward reason for your relationship problems,
metaphysically there is only one reason: Your relationship karma is screwed up.
You work out your karma through your planets -- through the nature of the house of
the chart, the nature of the planet that rules the house, and the planet that occupies
the house -- all cumulatively contribute to a good/bad relationship.
Astrologically speaking, unless you take care of the planet that causes the problem,
you will not have a lasting solution. You will continue to play games in your
relationship.
(Note: Eastern and Western systems of astrology differ on the meaning of the
Moons Nodes, but this work refers to the Eastern School.)

Finding a Perfect Relationship

Remember, there is nothing called a perfect relationship. People growing up in the
West have fantasies that they developed during their pre-school and kindergarten
times.

The idea of the prince showing up in a chivalrous fashion and marrying the girl and
living happily ever after is ingrained in the consciousness of many women. The
guys have comparatively fewer fantasies than women do.
The solution to the problem is to find out what you want in life. How important is
that in your life? Can you live with/without relationship? These are questions that
each individual has to answer for himself/herself. There are some general principles
that I want to lay out.

No Mr./Ms. Right
I have already explained there is no Mr. Right or Ms. Right. The whole idea of Mr.
Right/Ms. Right is based on the following issues:
1. Insecurity
2. Control
3. Ego
Insecurity is based on the fear that the partner is going to leave you at some point.
This fear leads to the next stage -- control.
One has to realize that you cant live your life in insecurity nor can you control
anyone. If you feel insecure deep down, you are going to manifest it outside: The
guy is going to leave me if I dont lose weight or do a face-lift or re-shape my nose, skin
or rear end.
I am not saying that you shouldnt shape up. But you shouldnt do it for the guy,
because the guy may leave you for a fat woman with less money and less education
than you have. I insist that you shape up not for the guy/girl, but for yourself.
I have advised a lot of insecure guys who go on buying gifts because they fear that
the girl is going to leave and that is not right behavior either.
Control doesnt work at anytime. The bottom line is that no one wants to be
controlled, although everyone wants to control the other person. I am not saying
that control is not needed. Control is an organizing principle that gives stability and
security.

Cultural laws are based on control. But then, there is a natural control and an
imposed control. The control mechanism that comes out naturally is based on love.
The control that comes out of social/cultural/legal obligation doesnt hold for long.
Sigmund Freud discussed this issue in his writing, Civilization and its Discontent
(see The Case of Dora and other essays).

Interpersonal Relationships and Success in Life

Vedic astrology is deep into relationship compatibility which you can check before
you get involved.
Rahu, the snake planet, can do the same thing in the houses. To give you a few
examples, in the fourth house, Rahu will challenge the relationship with the mother;
in the 9th house he will create problems with the father; in the 10th house with the
employer.
Astrology is not superstition, and in my opinion, it is Gods gift to humanity to help
us.
You are a social being, and it is terribly, terribly important that you develop
interpersonal relationship skills. If there is one principle that I want to emphasize
for success in your life, or business life, that is the importance of having very good
interpersonal relationships.
Relationships are not easy because they are full of challenges. You dont agree with
the other person or the other person does not agree with you. There are suspicions,
there are jealousies, and there are some things that you always have to keep private.
There are so many other issues.
The bottom line in learning to create a good relationship is that you should not carry
on your judgments about the other person. Every moment is new, and you should be
willing to look at that person in a different way. And even if that person is a
scoundrel, you pretend as if there are no problems between you.
Then you not only pretend but you believe that it is true. And then you will find that
things do change. You cannot change the other person. You can only change
yourself. So, let the other person do whatever he wants to do.
As far as you are concerned, this is what you are going to do. You are going to be
open, you are going to be friendly, and you are not going to be judging. Or, even if

you judge, that will disappear in the next moment and then you are open. And then
you go on with your life.
This is an important idea to absorb. Every moment is new. Every moment can open
to a new reality.

Getting to the Root

I want to emphasize that behavioral problems need to be dealt with not at the
symptom level, but at the causal level. Behavior is the manifestation of a cause,
which is invisible.
Here is a possible scenario dealing with a typical relationship behavioral symptom:
You get up in the morning. You want to make sure that you dont even see your
spouses/fathers/mothers/childrens face(s). You want to avoid them. But it so
happens that you end up seeing them.
Before your mind responds, your body and heart respond. You are irritated and
annoyed. You exchange dirty looks, although outwardly you pretend to be
acceptable and kind
Your body is more authentic than your formal behavior. Everyone is psychic and
knows what the other person thinks. Always follow your gut feelings. They speak
the truth. You may ask me, What if my gut feelings always say negative things?
There are two answers for this question. Check if you are by nature negative. Do a
self-analysis of your own behavior. Secondly, the fault may be largely the other
persons.
I want to talk about a specific situation. Lets say you got into a relationship. For a
few years, everything was rosy, but now you completely hate it. However, you dont
want to leave and start another nightmare.
You say to yourself, if possible, I want to change this nightmare into a sweet dream.
How do I do it? You may go into analyzing what caused the change in the
relationship. You may think that if there is a change in the finances/career/social
situations/new people in your life, something will shift.
One or many of these categories may be contributing to the relationship failure. It is
important that you analyze these factors. But most importantly, look at the planets
that govern your relationship with your mother/father/siblings/spouse. Working

with the planets is more productive because the planets are at the root of your
symptoms.

Relationship is Karmic
Relationship is irrational. To use religious language, relationship is karmic.
You often marry the man or women you have married at least five times in previous
lives. In each lifetime, you got married and kept the marriage partly or fully. And,
again you do it in another lifetime.
Every human being has gone through millions of lifetimes and several millions of
relationships. Since you dont remember past lives, you dont understand what is
happening now. You may have murdered your wife/husband in a previous lifetime.
He/she has to come to avenge you. He/she may get married to you and give you
constant problems.
Or, you may be involved in an abusive relationship where you hurt each other on an
hourly basis, establishing psychic routines. Sometimes you cry out: God, I want this
to be over. Can you help me?
When a person gets to this level, God does come down to give you guidelines. He
says: No relationship is perfect. Relationship is past memory. Dont take it seriously
and kill yourself. The only true relationship is with God.

Your True Relationship is with God

God will eventually make you understand that you are God. When you become God,
then there will be no animosity, fingerpointing, abuse, hatred or anger.
You will be just love. You love everyone unconditionally and not because both of you
scratch each others back, although that may appear to be kind of nice.
You may reply back to God: God, thats all fine. But do you have a remedy for my
tooth-ache? (meaning your pain in your current relationship situation). God says:
Yes, I do. Use the mantra KLEEM.
Kleem is a seed syllable for Parvati who is a feminine aspect of the Divine, a Goddess
who can assist you with relationships. Some people say it is selfish to pray for a
relationship, but I say it is important to ASK for what you want.

These same people have no problem to go into a restaurant and tell the waitress
what food they want for dinner that night. If you do not give your request to the
waitress she cannot serve you.
My suggestion to you is get a set of Rudraksha mala beads and chant KLEEM 108
times on a daily basis. It will silently remedy your relationship problems.
Mantra: Kleem Shreem Hreem
(Pronounced: Kleem Shreem Hreem)
This mantra brings in a host of Divine blessings that are very potent seed syllables
that combine effectively to bless relationships.
I would like you to understand some concepts concerning the planets in Vedic
astrology. In Vedic astrology, the planets are not just celestial objects.
Each planet is a celestial being, and the celestial body is only an outer manifestation
of the planetary being. The planetary being, in turn, is governed by a god. When
remedies are being suggested, several of these factors are taken into consideration.
Relationship problems are caused, primarily, by two planets: Mars and Venus.

Mars
Mars is the pre-eminent problem for fights between partners. Mars represents ego
and quarrels, which are also ego based: Who is bigger, me or you? I make more
money. You dont deserve me. I am way, way above you.
Mars also will create delays (because of fears, insecurities, and so on). You may be
dating a guy/girl, but you put off doing anything serious. At the end of the day, you
go home separately. Not that you dont love each other, but then, there are trust
issues or fear issues or something else. All these problems are created by Mars.
Mars is funny. He can make you extremely sexual or dry up your desire and juices.
Particularly with women, Mars can play lots of games. He will manipulate their
menstrual cycle and play hardball with their emotions. Mars is also related to
menstrual fluid. He can make a woman mean and a man a philanderer.
Unless you are a Mars person (dont ask me what that means -- you may want to talk
with a Vedic astrologer!), dont go on a date on Tuesdays -- perhaps, that will be the
last date. (But, remember that may not be so bad!)

A Mars person is more inclined to pull out from a relationship. Even a small
disagreement will trigger a serious break up. It is fair to say that almost sixty
percent of breakups, separation, and divorce are caused by Mars.
Its funny that I am writing this section at this time (it is the hour governed by Mars
energy). Those of you in conflict with each other might want to propitiate Mars and
his planetary god, Muruga.
To do this, you light a candle (a small tea-candle is fine) in front of their pictures and
chant their mantras.
Mantra: Om Mangalaya Namaha
(Pronounced: Ohm Man-ga-li-ya Na-ma-ha)
The mantra for the planetary god of Mars, Muruga, is Om Saravana Bavaya Namaha
(pronounced: Ohm Sa Ra Va Na Ba Va Ya Na Ma Ha).

Venus
Venus is another planet that is directly related to relationships. Venus particularly
creates romance more than sex.
Between Mars and Venus, Mars is associated with sex, and Venus with romance.
Venus energy is very active on Friday. This is the reason why lots of people go crazy
on Friday evenings.
The romantic energy of Venus causes you to blindly fall in love, without scruples. It
is only later that you understand your mistakes. Most of teenage love is caused by
Venus. Venus energy leads to lots of partying, movies, wine and beer.
Passionate love feeling or passionate separations are caused by Venus. The
planetary goddess for Venus is Lakshmi. You can propitiate Venus and Lakshmi
through the following mantras.
Mantra: Om Shukraya Namaha
(Pronounced: Ohm Shuk-Rah-ya Na-ma-ha)
The mantra for the planetary goddess of Venus, Lakshmi, is Om Shreem Namaha
(pronounced: Om Shreem Na Ma Ha). Light a candle before a picture of each deity
and chant each mantra 108 times.

Workbook
Instructions: Please take a printout of the Workbook. Reflect on the questions that
apply to you, and answer them authentically.

If you are seeking to be in a relationship:

Are you willing to live for the other person? What does this mean to you?

You and your partner should have the same goals and ambitions. List your
goals and ambitions.

(When you find a person that has similar goals and ambitions, you should consult a
Vedic Astrologer to find out about your deeper compatibility.)

If you are currently in a relationship:

Are you living for your partner? What does this mean to you? Are you willing
to?

Are you playing games with your partner?

Are you trying to cover up your differences?

Are you trying to control your partner?

List your goals and ambitions that are similar and focus on these.

Daily Assignments
Morning: Review your relationship goal(s). Take note of any progress or lack of
progress.
Evening (or Late Afternoon): Do the Attraction Meditation (approx. 23 minutes).
It contains the sounds Kleem Shreem Hreem for 3 archetypes who can help in
attracting relationship.
These sounds give a lot of emotional energy, the energy of desire. You will induce
those feelings in others who look at you.
Pray Every Hour: When your watch beeps, mentally say Kleem. Feel the positive
vibration of the sound.
Then, make a prayer regarding your relationship. Example: I am experiencing love
and joy with my partner.
Write Your Goal Everyday: Write your relationship goal(s) 9 times every day.
Example: I am manifesting a partner whom I can live for.
The written word is a more concrete medium than thought. Thought involves only
the mind, where writing involves both the body and mind.
Atleast Once A Week: Listen to the Teachings by Dr. Pillai. Every time you listen,
the teachings will penetrate deeper and deeper into the mind and the unconscious.
They contain affirmations that are designed to reorient your thinking mind as well
as your subconscious to a new model of functioning.
Allow the affirmations to go deep into your consciousness. The mind will soon
develop an automatic reaction to the affirmations. If you listen attentively, however,
these affirmations will deeply penetrate your awareness.
Awareness Times: Practice regular awareness times when you work with your
relationship goal(s).
When you first wake up in the morning.
When you pray before every meal.
Before you go to bed.
Mentally say Kleem Shreem Hreem with emotion & make a prayer about your goal.