>

.\
,

.
IN DUE TIME
Unlike previous generations of Latinos, many of us are deLaying
motherhood Into our 50s and liDs. But at what cost? By Dorkys Ramos

WHEI'i RAGHEL*GOT married three years ago, she had no plans to become a Like Rachel, more women in the
mom right away."I used to think I'd have children by the time 1 turned 27 and last decade have been putting off the
that by now I'd already have two," says the 35-year-old. "But 1 didn't get mar- decision to have kids.Unlike men, who
ried until later, and once 1 did, 1wanted to wait two years to travel and enjoy produce sperm throughout their lives,
being married before starting a family."Only now that she's ready, she's having women are born withallofthe eggswe'll
difficulties conceiving. ever have, and our fertility-or our

54 LATINA.COM . FEBRUARY 2010 ILLUSTRATIONS BY KAGAN MCLEOD

r. _
II bodies' readiness to conceive-peaks
in our mid-20s. Once we reach 30, our
chance ofgetting pregnant each month
is around 20 percent, and then dips as
low as 5 percent after 40. "Ideally,early
30s would be the best time to conceive:'
says Rudy Quintero, M.D.,founder and
medical director of CAR.E. Fertility.
"Youstill have a fair amount offertility
and you've had enough time to estab-
lish your career."
Regardlessof age,once you're ready
to try and conceive, you should prep
your body. A monthly period is key;
otherwise it could signal that some-
thing's off from the get-go. Aside from
a healthy high-fiber diet of fruits, veg-
gies and low-fatprotein, begin taking a
folic acid supplement to guard against
potential birth defects.
Keep in mind that although it takes
two to tango, baby-making is all about
dancing atjustthe righttime. Yourfer-
Don7t Give Up
From cutting-edge to cradic/onal, there are more routes
tile window is that slim period in the
to parenthood than ever before.
middle of your menstrual cycle when
your eggs can be fertilized-usually ADOPTIOn Whether you decIde eo flrsr explore foseer care, go oueslde ehe
Unleed Scaees or adopr a specIal-needs child, ehere are numerous opelons our
lasting fiveto six days and ending on there and ehe coses varyjusr as wIdely. II's a compllcaeed process that requIres
paelence. research and dedlcaelon. adoption. com
the day after ovulation. Youcan chart
your cycle,track changes in your body SURROGACY HavIng another woman carry your chIld requIres legal
arrangements (check your scaee's laws), and In mose cases you will be
temperature or check for an egg-whites responsIble for all of the carrIer's medIcal expenses. In vlero fertilization Is the
method ofren used eoproduce ehe embryo. surrogacy.com
consistency in your cervical mucus to
determine yours. Or take the guesswork EMBRYO ADOPTIOn I{you and your parmer can't produce a vIable embryo,
you may be able to adopl one from anoeher couple's unused In vlero
out ofthe mixand buy an ovulation pre- ferelllzaelon embryos. embryoadoptlons.com
dictor kit to know when to get it on.
Today, one out of every 10 couples
experiences difficulty conceiving. If it happen on its own," she says. "But at weight. While underweight women
you're under 35 and havebeen trying to the same time, we want a child." might stop menstruating, obesity can
conceive for a year, or are 35 and older In the United States, because ofthe mess with hormones needed to release
and have been trying for six months treatment options available,more than an eggeach month. It's not uncommon
with no luck, then get thee to a repro- half of infertile couples end up with a for fertility drugs such as Clomid to be
ductive endocrinologist. Forty percent pregnancy. Advanced technology also prescribed to promote ovulation,
of the time it's something going on in means costs can add up quickly, so it's Youcan also turn to more invasive
your body, and 40 percent ofthe time important to knowwhat expenses your procedures. Rachel has opted for artifi-
it's him, but there's also the chance that insurance plan will cover-if any are cial-or intrauterine-insemination, in
the reason will be frustratingly unex- covered at all. which your partner's sperm is injected
plainable. Once you've figured out your into your uterus with a catheter, result-
After a year and a half of trying finances, your doctor may recommend ing (hopefully)in fertilization.Amissed
with no luck, Rachel and her husband starting with health changes.For exam- period the followingmonth could signal
decidedto seekout a specialist."It was a ple, as much as 12 percent of fertility good news. "My husband takes things
difficultdecisionbecause I would rather problems can be attributed to body harder than I do because he wanted to
start a family a lot sooner than I did,"
Rachel admits. "Everymonth when my
KEEPINMINDTHATALTHOUGH ITTAKESTWO cycle starts. he's obviously hurt. So I
just try to be the patient and positive
TOTANGO!BABY-MAKINGISALLABOUTDANCING one. That's all I can do."
ATJUSTTHERIGHTTIME. While artificial insemination only

-
-
results in pregnancy fiveto 25 percent husband finally got the happy ending cultural expectation:' she adds. "So it
of the time, in vitro fertilization (IVF) he'd promised they'd have: a baby boy doesn't matter if you've gone to grad-
has a higher rate of success (between and girl. uate school at Harvard, Your mother
28 and 35 percent). With IVF,your eggs Because multiple eggs are often will still ask, 'When are you going to
are extracted and fertilized with sperm produced through these treatments, give me a grandchild?'" It's a question
in a lab dish;days later, the embryos are your chances of "twinning" increase. Quintanilla often heard herself during
implanted into your uterus to continue Even though Vargas-Bridgejust wanted her own struggle with infertility,before
growing naturally. The success rate is one child, she was thrilled when she her two sons were born. Her mom,filled
higher with IVF,but it is also a signifi- was blessed with two. "Deep down, I with embarrassment and pity, would
cantly more expensive option. did want twins because I thought this secretly lie to family in Mexico, telling
Expect fertility shots prior to the was probably going to be my last shot:' them her daughter was on birth control
procedure to boost your egg count. she says. and much too engrossed with school to
"Injecting myself with three or four Within the Latino community, dif- think about babies,
needles almost every night was the ficulty conceiving can carry a stigma. Meanwhile, Rachel continues to
hardest part for me:' EvyVargas-Bridge, "For some people, infertility is a pun- struggle. With the arrival ofher period,
39, remembers. "I would just sit there ishment from God, and they think that she realizes that her first insemination
sweating and saying, 'Okay,you can do it's their cross to bear," says Maria L. didn't take. But she's already undergo-
this. Youcan do this.''' Waiting for that Quintanilla, executive director and ing another cycle of artificial insemi-
phone call with the results after every founder of the Latino Family Institute, nation and is considering IVF if this
cycle wasn't easy either. But last sum- an adoption,foster-care and family-sup- second round is unsuccessful. "Atthis
mer, after four rounds of Clomid, four port agency.But in a culture that honors point I'm trying not to think about it:'
of IVF and contemplating surrogacy family, the pull for maternidad can be she says. "It's all timing, and when it's
in between, Vargas-Bridge and her incredibly strong. "Beinga mother is a our time, it'll happen." re:J

TENDER LOVING CARE

ONCE YOU GET PREGNANT, YOU MAY WANT THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL
SUPPORT OF A DOULA.
How did you get childbirth education class How does being Latina
started as a doula? and learn CPR. There help you?
I was motivated to help was an extensive reading The fact that I'm bilingual
women have satisfying list. as well as gives me two worlds of
and safe births after a three-day intensive opportunities. I reach
having two very different seminar followed by a lot of women who just
birthing experiences. The a test. I was then got here and don't speak
first time was scary and evaluated by other English. I help them
painful because olthe medical professionals understand the maternity
way it was handled in the and mothers. system. which is usually
hospital. When I had my very different than where
second child, I was more What are some of your they come from. and let
informed and got myself responsibilities? them know their options.
a midwife. She made me I help my client devise
feel like I had a say on a birth plan so that we What's the coolest
what was going on. Then have a clear vision of thing about your job?
one day I saw an ad that what she wants. The day As my own boss, I can
said, "How would you of the birth. I remind the provide for my family in
like to assist women mother of breathing a way that doesn't take
during childbirth and techniques and positions me away that much. I'm
empower them?'" that will help the baby trying to help these
come faster. I provide women be better
How did you train to massages for coping mothers and I don't have
do this job? with the labor and help to sacrifice my own
I became certified her stay focused once it's mothering, The most
through the Association time for pushing. After I would take is three to
of Labor Assistants and the baby arrives, I don't four births in one month.
Childbirth Educators make my exit until Plus. I get paid to do
NAME: Venus Rodriguez-McGregor program. where I had to everyone is ready to something I would
AGE:35 volunteer during six relax. do-and have done-for
LATIli ROOTS:Puerto RIcan births. observe a free. - Grace Bastidas

FEBRUARY2010 . LATINA.COM 57