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ABSTRACT:
Introversion and extroversion are common ways of defining personality types that describe how individuals
derive their energy, process information, and respond to stimulation. Introverts are known for gaining
energy from spending time alone, while extroverts get energy from being around other people. Both
personality types bring important skills and contributions to the world. Parents can discover their own, and
their childrens personality types in order to find ways nurture their families strengths and resiliency.
KEY TERMS: Introversion, Extroversion, Personality Types, Personal Strengths
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The biggest distinction between these personality types is about how each one derives energy. Introverts
are characterized as people who gain energy from spending time on their own, away from other people.
Extroverts are the type of people who gain energy from being around others.
More about Introverts
Introverts are often characterized by their capacity for inward reflection and a need to understand the
world before they experience it (Tieger & Barron-Tieger, 1995). They may be easily overstimulated by new
ideas and unfamiliar situations. Introverts need time to take in new information and compare it to internal
experiences, in order to understand it and respond to it (Tieger & Barron-Tieger, 1995).
This is why introverts seek time away from the outside world, in order to process and reflect on new
information (Laney, 2001). In group situations, such as during a classroom discussion or at an office
meeting, introverts may appear reluctant to share their ideas, but this may be because they need to take
time away from the group to fully develop these ideas first (Cain, 2012). Introverts can be capable of
profound insights when they are afforded the time and space to think things through.
To the rest of the world, introverts may appear shy or anti-social, but they are just social in different ways
(Laney, 2001). They often prefer to spend time is smaller groups, or one-on-one, and usually like to get to
know new people more slowly (Tieger & Barron-Tieger, 1995).
More about Extroverts
If introverts focus their energy and attention inward, extroverts focus it outward. They crave the
stimulation they get from engaging with the world outside themselves. In contrast to introverts, extroverts
need to experience the world to understand it; they tend to like a lot of activity (Tieger & Barron-Tieger,
1995, p.14).
Extroverts tend to appear much more social because they are eager for the stimulation that comes from
meeting new people. They also tend to think and talk at the same time, and formulate their ideas best by
saying them out loud (Laney, 2001). Because of these qualities, extroverts often meet new people easily
and often do well in social situations.
In discussing one of the defining qualities of extroverts, Tieger and Barron-Teiger said: Many extraverts
find that their preference helps them at work because they generally can think quickly on their feet. When
asked a question, they just start talking. Eventually they come up with an answer, and usually they can
persuade others that it makes sense (1995, p.15).
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Make sure your child has private time built into his/her daily routines.
Encourage your child to take breaks from highly stimulating and group activities if he/she
feels he/she is getting overwhelmed.
When you sense your child is in a bad mood, help him/her determine if this may be because
he/she has had too much stimulation.
Talk with your child about his/her need to take breaks to help him/her understand why this
helps recharge his/her batteries.
Ensure your child has his/her own physical space for privacy.
Respect your childs need for personal space and dont take it personally when he/she
expresses needing to be alone.
If you know personal space will be limited (such as on long road trips) make a game plan
ahead of time such as bringing head phones for your child to listen to and books to look at
alone.
Be patient when your child takes time making a decision or responding to a question.
(Laney, 2001)
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Allow your extroverted child opportunities to talk aloud, tells stories, and share his/her feelings.
Help your child develop relationships outside of your family so he/she has lots of people to talk
to.
Help your extrovert discover his/her own skills and interest so he/she doesnt always get caught
up in going along with what others are doing.
Extroverted children respond especially well to positive feedback; a few small positive words will
go a long way.
Because extroverted children are less reflective than introverted ones, they may need help
labelling their emotions; help your child take time to think about how he/she is feeling and help
him/her find words to describe these emotions.
When your child just needs to process ideas out loud, be there to listen.
Even your extroverted child can benefit from learning to slow down so help him/her schedule
quiet time every once and a while.
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KEY TERMS:
Introversion: A personality type in which the individual is energized by spending time alone. Introverted
individuals often need time to process information inwardly before responding, act cautiously, and avoid
crowds.
Extroversion: A personality type in which the individual is energized by being with other people. Extroverts
often like to be the centre of attention, think out loud, and enjoy meeting new people.
Personality Types: Categories of various personality traits that often appear together. Many different
personality types have been proposed by different theories over the years; two of these are introverted
personality type and extroverted personality type.
Personal Strengths: Our unique sets of skills and abilities that we use in our everyday lives. By identifying
these strengths, we can use them to make choices that contribute to well-being in ourselves and others.
Do our children use their gifts and their abilities constructively or destructively? The world would be a better
place if every child grew up with integrity, curiosity, compassion, the ability to love and be loved, and the
capacity to develop their inner strengths (Laney, 2001, p.158).
Other Tips
If you find that you have some children who are introverted and some that are
extroverted it may be hard to make sure everyones voice is heard. An example of a
way you might support your family here could be by making sure that each person in
the family has a turn to talk at dinner (Laney, 2001). This gives talkative children
practice waiting to speak, and allows quiet children the chance to develop confidence
sharing their thoughts. Help your children with different personality styles learn to be
patient and respect each others preferences. You can make sure that you work
together as a family to ensure that no ones thoughts or feelings are left out (Laney,
2001).
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References
Cain, S. (2012). Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that cant stop talking. New York: Crown Publishing.
Cain, S. (2011). Manifesto. Retrieved from: www.thepowerofintroverts.com/sixteen-things-i-believe/
Johnson, D. L., Wiebe, J. S., Gold, S. M., Andreasen, N. C., Hichwa, R. D., Watkins, L., Boles Ponto., L. L. (1999). Cerebral
blood flow and personality: A positron emission tomography study. The American Journal of Psychiatry 156(2),
252-257
Jung, C. G. (1976). Psychological types (H.G. Baynes, trans.) (Rev. ed.). Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press. (Original
work published in 1921).
Laney, M. O. (2001). The introvert advantage: How to thrive in an extrovert world. New York: Workman Publishing.
Tieger, P. D. & Barron-Tieger, B. (1995). Do what you are: Discover the perfect career for you through the secrets of
personality type (2nd ed.). New York: Little, Brown and Company.