What are you searching for or should I say what are you yearning for?

What is that you are

striving for?
Everyone is looking for something be it money, fame, power, glory, recognition etc etc. Have
you ever thought why we seek anything? It doesnt matter what you seek, question is why?
You always seek something which you dont have? And how do you come to realise that you
dont have that thing?
You might look at your office colleague and realise he or she has got a new car, bought a new
house, booked a holiday, got a promotion and you might conclude that you want the same.
Now look closely what is happening underneath all this? You were not aware of this
unhappiness or this feeling of discontent before, only when you looked outside, when you
looked at the external world, did you get this feeling?
So is it a real feeling or is a fabricated one? Is it manufactured by your mind which makes
you feel inferior, something less than others?
But why is your own mind doing that? Why is your own mind making you unhappy? Isnt our
mind supposed to be the tool which we can utilize to achieve anything we want? Rather than
being the tool, it has become a fake master which rules and feeds over your insecurities, pain,
discomfort, discontent.
But lets stay with that feeling and understand what the essence of it is?
So you want a new phone because your friend got a new one. What happens is that desire
creates a void inside you which means you get cut off from your true nature at that point,
your focus is shifted externally and unless you fill that void you feel at unease.
What happens when you get that thing? You are happy, at peace, feel elated; in short basic
feeling of all of these emotions is happiness whether you want to show-off your new phone,
or you want to use it to manage your life effectively or you want to just get your hands at the
latest technology at the end of the day you are seeking contentment and happiness.
Accept this thing first, that all your desires create a void, a hole leading to a feeling of
discomfort which your mind then tries to fulfil by giving you something in return to fill that
void or emptiness. Agree?
But the real problem is that you are trying to fulfil that void or hole with something which is
material or temporary or illusory.
You might say but my phone is real, but what makes it real? Is it your mind which is creating
this illusion which is the very source of suffering in the first place?
It is like a Jigsaw puzzle, imagine your life as complete whole just like a completed jigsaw but
then the moment you got a desire a hole gets created and after that your mind is trying its
best to fulfil that hole with a piece which never fits it completely or it tries to fill that hole but
lasts only for a short time and a hole gets created at that same spot or somewhere else in the
meantime due to arising of a new desire.

Do you understand what is happening? You are endlessly trying to recreate the picture with
all wrong pieces ultimately leading to the image being totally different than what it was at the
start. And the big problem is that there are holes or void pieces everywhere?
How will you solve this problem?
You have two choices- you fill it with more material things or you need to go the source. You
need to go to the building block of that image.
How that image got created in the first place? You dont know infact you dont even need to
know. Just trust it will get created, dont try to think how because the more you think more
you are using your mind to recreate it. It wont happen with the mind, you need to go beyond
it.
Lets talk about how to go beyond?
Have you ever felt peace in your life, that contentment which you seek everywhere in all the
worldly things. Some people find it in their children when they are so lost playing with them,
talking to them, being in their childrens world, all the problems appear so far away and they
feel so happy and truly content in their life. There is no distress, there is no yearning for
happiness, happiness just happens. You dont need to go looking for it because it finds you
when you find yourself.
Some might find it in a temple, when they feel unison with their God, although not all find
that because many times you are either thinking about your problems and communicating to
God asking him to help you but still when you sit there and just get involved you do feel that
peace.
Some might find it in drugs, alcohol, and other intoxicants when you just forget where you
are, who you are, you forget the external world and are just happy being with yourself.
Some might find it in running, some in music, some in movie theatres, some in adrenaline
sports and some in near death experiences.
There is no limit to it, everyone has experienced that true peace in some form or the other, if
you have not then dont worry it might have happened and you might not know what it is.
Try to think a bit and I am sure you will find atleast one truly peaceful memory in your past.
What is happening in all the above situations? Is the situation responsible for the
gratification or gratification was always there with you but the situation brings it out in
someway?
Answer is the second option; the peace, contentment, happiness, oneness you seek was
always there within you, problem is you were looking outside for it while all the time it was
inside.
Such an irony right, it is so beautifully hidden in this whole world of Illusion that the thing
which is closest to you, appears farthest and most difficult to achieve.
You always attribute happiness to either some heavenly quality or you attribute it to future
saying that once I do this I will be happy, or you might look for it in the past thinking all the

time how good my life was then back in time and I didnt recognise it back then. But you
never ever understand this simple concept that what you seek exists within.
The problem is you always identify yourself to external things, for example when you take
alcohol and you feel happy, you wrongly attribute happiness to alcohol, saying it is the best
thing because it brings you happiness but you forget it is just a tool, all it does is it shuts your
brain activity for some time and you are connected to your real self and you feel oneness
albeit for a small duration with obvious side effects.
But you get addicted to alcohol, and you always need more of it, why? Because the mind,
once it experiences a particular thing for first time just goes numb and you get connected
instantly to the real self. But the second time, the mind will compare with the first experience
and will say this has happened before and will continue with the chatter, and so you will need
more of alcohol to shut it down.
The same thing happens with drugs, relationships, material things, you will always need
more to satisfy your brain before it shuts down and you get to experience your real self. And
this is true for all the temples in the world, there is no peace in the temple unless you are
peaceful inside. But the good thing associated with them is your faith in them.
If you go to a temple and you make a wish and it gets fulfilled and you attribute it to the
temple, you will stay in that loop as long as your faith is active. Faith is something beyond the
mind, it is still you or your inner self connected to the source who fulfils your wish but
because you are still not open to your true self rather you will attribute to the temple or your
guru etc.
Please understand temple itself will have consciousness of its own, guru will have power of
his own but ultimately both are channelling your energies, activating your energies to fulfil
your wish or desire. There is no problem with that except that if you get attached to the
temple or guru. Suppose the external situation you find yourself in is such that it takes a long
time to resolve and you dont have patience, this might test or shake your faith a little bit and
the game will be over.
The problem here is again you placed your belief on an external object. Even if the faith is
unshakeable it is always a risk, why because the trust is not in urself but the external factor
and external factors are never under your control.
Lord Krishna rightly said that only your karma is in your hands, so forget everything else, do
your work, place your trust in yourself first and leave the results to me.
Real problem is, we place our trust in the tool, and Solution is to place the trust in your real
self.
You erroneously believe that tool as the saviour and think that it will take you to the real
happiness or God or True source but the tool is merely a vehicle, ultimately it will only take
you so far as long as your trust and faith stays after that it is you who has to cover the
remaining journey.
So the real happiness is always within you, external agents will get you a glimpse of it but
there will not be stability and sustenance.

Take example of anything which got you a glimpse of your real self but cannot be continued
indefinitely, you cannot drink alcohol every minute, you cannot be with your kids every
minute, you cannot be in temple every minute, you cannot be on drugs every minute, you
cannot be listening to music every minute.
The moment there is a break, the mind will take over and you will fall back in the vast abyss I
talked about. What is the solution?
You need to find something which is ever present, something which is always there no matter
where you go. You may be anywhere on earth, in space, in water, but it will always be there.
That thing is Now; Present moment which you never even acknowledge.
Eckhart Tolle in his book The Power of Now rightly attributes Now as the only thing which
matters, only thing which will take you closer to your real self.
What happens when you are in Now and I am not saying thinking about Now (there is a
difference between the two) is your whole attention, your whole awareness is concentrated to
one single thing.
Mind cannot deal with non-duality it always wants something to compare, always wants two
things to work with, it cannot accept Now.
It will always keep you either in past or in future atleast 90-95% of the time. Think about it.
How many times you live in present?
And the truth is Now is the only thing you actually have. It is here you find everything.
You will find yourself, your true self and not the personality created by mind.
It is in Now that you will find happiness, peace, contentment, joy. You will understand that
the things you are seeking no longer are required, you are happy right here.
But it is not easy to get into Now.
Who is stopping you? It is Your mind.
How it is stopping you? By creating a fictitious self or ego which you identify as real self.
What is its power? The past and future where it keeps you trapped.
How you can achieve the present state then?
You need to be aware at all three levels Body, Mind and Energy.
Right now you have allowed your driver to take your car (your life) to any destination where
it wants you to take, and you are just sleeping at the back seat.
The moment you start taking conscious decisions, the more you will be in control and the
less automatic control will be in hands of the mind.
It is similar to a DSLR camera, there is always an automatic mode with which you can click
good pictures, but if you got to utilize the true potential of the camera you got to control the
aperture, shutter priority, ISO and finally click in manual mode in order to get a really great

picture. Nothing wrong with the auto mode but what is the point of a DSLR if you dont use
its actual potential.
So for Body it can be as simple as getting up early in the morning when your automatic
reaction is to go back to sleep, if at that moment you can conquer your mind and make a
conscious decision that No I will get up, right then and there you took a conscious decision
and took a step away from the unconsciousness mode or the automatic mode as I call it.
Or it can be a cold bath in winter, because it will take tremendous consciousness to pour that
cold, icy water over your head; the mind will give you hundreds of reason to not do it, but if
you can do it, right there you have another small victory.
For mind, It is all about being conscious in all the small tasks you do, if you are climbing the
stairs just climb the stairs, dont let anything else come to your mind, if mind sways bring it
back to stairs or take your attention to breathing and observe it, if mind sways bring it back
to breathing.
All the meditations of the world talk about bringing yourself to Now and as the mind cannot
create its illusions in the Now you are connected to your real self.
It doesnt mean mind will stop functioning, it will function but it will be under your orders
and not the other way around.
You can even try asking small questions and try to observe like How I am feeling inside
today, What is going on inside me at this moment?
Dont try to answer these just observe from a distance. All these things will bring you back to
the present and help you loosen the grip of time and mind.
On energy level, it is all about doing breathing exercises, pranayama, control of breath
because once you have some control over your breath you can control the senses.
You dont need to become a true master at all these three levels.
Just start, as I said before dont think about the end, enjoy the journey, dont lose heart if it
is not happening as per your expectations, at the end of the day it is all about the journey and
not about the fruit.
The fruit will come if you enjoy your path and put your 100% effort into it. Dont go looking
for the fruit; just enjoy the present and the journey.
Slowly and steadily start chipping away that fake image, fake persona that has been created
by your mind and at the end all that would be left is your Real Self.
Once you are close to your real self and time is right, the mind will know when to end the
illusion. It might take a lot of time to establish this habit and end this illusion which mind
has created but trust me it will break if you try this consciously.
Once the illusion is broken, you cannot go back; to highlight when the external things were
used there was a connection no doubt with your true self but the connection was not stable
because it depended on those things. It was almost momentary or illusory because the
connection itself was created by an illusory thing.

With meditation, practicing self awareness and placing yourself in ever present the
connection will always be there and only become stronger. It doesnt mean you will not feel
sadness, happiness or you will not show emotions but you and your mind will be separate,
once they are separate you no longer are under its control.
Even if some emotion takes you over, you will come out if it much easily than what you could
have done earlier. The more your consciousness expands, less will be your individualism and
lower will be the number of your desires but it will take time, important thing is to start.
In short you will be able to get into the zone, connect with yourself whenever you want and if
you want to move your attention to some practical task in life you can direct all your energies
to that task.
You no longer need some external thing to achieve this state, it is always there with you now,
the door is ever present, and all you got to do is open the door, connect with the source and
after you are recharged get back to the real world.
This I feel is a big difference. Spirituality or enlightenment does not mean you leave your
worldly tasks, forget all relationships, just go to some mountain and whole day remain in
meditation and get attached to the feeling of oneness because that is a whole new trap once
you reach this state.
Rather it is to do all the tasks that you were meant to do without any attachment and by
being ever close to your real self. You will enjoy everything you put your energies in, nothing
will be unachievable because you will only concentrate on your present and even if you dont
get the fruits you still would have loved every moment of the journey which is a fruit in itself.
So now do you know what real liberation is? As Tolle says in the book The secret of life is to
"die before you die" - and find that there is no death. Only after that you are truly awakened
from a deep sleep and your real journey begins.