A very good morning to all honoured guest of today.

Let me introduce myself as

Madam Maria Lvesque, the founder of the Brainy Montessori. I felt very glad and grateful
for having this precious opportunity with dear parents in this open day of Brainy Montessori. I
would like to deliver a speech on Parenting Tips and we will focused on what does it take to
be good parents.
Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world; and the one
for which you might feel the least prepared. Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty,
self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness. It also promotes
intellectual curiosity, motivation, and desire to achieve. It helps protect children from
developing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behaviour, and alcohol and drug
abuse. Too many parents base their actions on gut reaction. But some parents have better
instincts than others. Children should never be hit; not even a slap on a toddler's bottom. If
your young child is headed into danger, into traffic, you can grab him and hold him, but you
should under no circumstances hit him. Many people use the same tactics their own parents
used, and a lot of times that meant using really harsh discipline. A parent's relationship with
his or her child will be reflected in the child's actions; including child behaviour problems. If
you don't have a good relationship with your child, they're not going to listen to you. Think
how you relate to other adults. If you have a good relationship with them, you tend to trust
them more, listen to their opinions, and agree with them. If it's someone we just don't like, we
will ignore their opinion. Based on studies, researchers identified facts about child
development.
The early years of a childs life are very important for his or her health and
development. Healthy development means that children of all abilities, including those with
special health care needs, are able to grow up where their social, emotional and educational
needs are met. Having a safe and loving home and spending time with family; playing,
singing, reading, and talking, are very important. Proper nutrition, exercise, and rest also can
make a big difference.
Skills such as taking a first step, smiling for the first time, and waving bye-bye are
called developmental milestones. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak,
behave, and move; for example, crawling and walking. Children develop at their own pace, so
it's impossible to tell exactly when a child will learn a given skill. However, the
developmental milestones give a general idea of the changes to expect as a child gets older. As

a parent, you know your child best. If your child is not meeting the milestones for his or her
age, or if you think there could be a problem with your childs development, talk with your
childs doctor and share your concerns, dont wait.
A childs growth and development are followed or monitored; through a partnership
between parents and health care professionals. At each well-child visit, the doctor looks for
developmental delays or problems and talks with the parents about any concerns the parents
might have. In addition, doctors conduct developmental screening. Developmental screening
is a short test to tell if children are learning basic skills when they should, or if they might
have delays. Children with special health care needs should have developmental monitoring
and screening just like those without special needs. Monitoring healthy development means
not only paying attention to symptoms related to a childs condition, but also to the childs
physical, mental, social, and emotional well-being. If a child has a developmental delay, it is
important to get help as soon as possible. When a developmental delay is not found early,
children must wait to get the help they need. This can make it hard for them to learn when
they start school.
Here are some of the tips on commandments and principles of good parenting; steps to
more effective parenting. These child-rearing tips can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent
and enjoy your kids more, too. The principles hold true for anyone who deals with children;
parents, babysitter, teacher, even coach.
This is one of the most important principles. What you do makes a difference. Your
kids are watching you. Don't just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself; what do I
want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result? Young kids learn a lot about how
to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you.
Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this; is that how you
want your child to behave when angry? Be aware that you're constantly being observed by
your kids. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression
at home. Model the traits you wish to cultivate in your kids; respect, friendliness, honesty,
kindness, tolerance. Exhibit unselfish behaviour. Do things for other people without expecting
a reward. Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you
expect other people to treat you.

Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your
kids in a given day? You may find yourself criticizing far more often than complimenting.
How would you feel about a boss who treated you with that much negative guidance, even if
it was well intentioned? The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right;
You made your bed without being asked, that's terrific! or I was watching you play with
your sister and you were very patient. These statements will do more to encourage good
behaviour over the long run than repeated scolding. Make a point of finding something to
praise every day. Be generous with rewards; your love, hugs, and compliments can work
wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are growing more of the
behaviour you would like to see.
Kids start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through
their parents' eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are
absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing selfesteem more than anything else. Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them
feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. By
contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavourably with another will make kids
feel worthless. Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like
What a stupid thing to do! or You act more like a baby than your little brother! cause
damage just as physical blows do. Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let
your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you
don't love their behaviour.
It's often difficult for parents and kids to get together for a family meal, let alone spend
quality time together. But there is probably nothing kids would like more. Get up 10 minutes
earlier in the morning so you can eat breakfast with your child or leave the dishes in the sink
and take a walk after dinner. Kids who aren't getting the attention they want from their parents
often act out or misbehave because they're sure to be noticed that way. Many parents find it
rewarding to schedule together time with their kids. Create a special night each week to be
together and let your kids help decide how to spend the time. Look for other ways to connect;
put a note or something special in your kid's lunchbox. Adolescents seem to need less
undivided attention from their parents than younger kids. Because there are fewer windows of
opportunity for parents and teens to get together, parents should do their best to be available
when their teen does express a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending

concerts, games, and other events with your teen communicates caring and lets you get to
know more about your child and his or her friends in important ways. Don't feel guilty if
you're a working parent. It is the many little things you do; making popcorn, playing cards,
window shopping; that kids will remember. Being an involved parent takes time and is hard
work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means
sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as
physically. Being involved does not mean doing a child's homework, or reading it over or
correcting it. Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not. If
you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning.
As a parent, you're responsible for correcting and guiding your kids. But how you
express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how a child receives it. When
you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which undermine
self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, strive to nurture and encourage, even when
disciplining your kids. Make sure they know that although you want and expect better next
time, your love is there no matter what. It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love.
What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child
too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving child things in place of love; things like
leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions.
Discipline is necessary in every household. The goal of discipline is to help kids
choose acceptable behaviours and learn self-control. They may test the limits you establish for
them, but they need those limits to grow into responsible adults. Setting limits helps your
child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps them develop a sense
of self-direction. To be successful in life, they are going to need both. It is normal for children
to push for autonomy. Many parents mistakenly equate their child's independence with
rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human
nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else. If you don't
manage your child's behaviour when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to
manage himself when he is older and you aren't around. Any time of the day or night, you
should always be able to answer these three questions; Where is my child? Who is with my
child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape
the rules he applies to himself. But you can't micromanage your child. Once they're in middle
school, you need let the child do their own homework, make their own choices, and not

intervene. Establishing house rules helps kids understand your expectations and develop selfcontrol. Some rules might include; no TV until homework is done, and no hitting, namecalling, or hurtful teasing allowed. You might want to have a system in place; one warning,
followed by consequences such as a time out or loss of privileges. A common mistake
parents make is failure to follow through with the consequences. You can't discipline kids for
talking back one day and ignore it the next. Being consistent teaches what you expect. If your
rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion, or if you enforce them only
intermittently, your child's misbehaviour is your fault, not his. Your most important
disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiable. The more your authority is
based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it. Many parents have
problems being consistent. When parents aren't consistent, children get confused. You have to
force yourself to be more consistent.
Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances. Children who are spanked,
hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children. They are more likely to be
bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others. There is a lot of
evidence that spanking causes aggression in children, which can lead to relationship problems
with other kids. There are many other ways to discipline a child, including time out, which
work better and do not involve aggression.
Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to. Generally, parents
over explain to young children and under explain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may
not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment or experience that
you have. An example: A 6-year-old is very active and very smart; but blurts out answers in
class, doesn't give other kids a chance, and talks too much in class. His teacher needs to
address the child behaviour problem. He needs to talk to the child about it. Parents might want
to meet with the teacher and develop a joint strategy. That child needs to learn to give other
children a chance to answer questions. You can't expect kids to do everything simply because
you, as a parent, say so. They want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. If we
don't take time to explain, kids will begin to wonder about our values and motives and
whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and
learn in a nonjudgmental way. Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it,
express your feelings, and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include

consequences. Make suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child's suggestions as
well. Negotiate. Kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.
If you frequently feel let down by your child's behaviour, perhaps you have
unrealistic expectations. Parents who think in shoulds for example, My kid should be pottytrained by now might find it helpful to read up on the matter or to talk to other parents or
child development specialists. Kids' environments have an impact on their behaviour, so you
may be able to modify that behaviour by changing the environment. If you find yourself
constantly saying no to your 2-year-old, look for ways to restructure your surroundings so
that fewer things are off-limits. This will cause less frustration for both of you. As your child
changes, you'll gradually have to change your parenting style. Chances are what works with
your child now won't work as well in a year or two. Teens tend to look less to their parents
and more to their peers for role models. But continue to provide guidance, encouragement,
and appropriate discipline while allowing your teen to earn more independence. And seize
every available moment to make a connection. Keep pace with your child's development.
Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child's behaviour. The same drive
for independence that is making your three-year-old say no all the time is what's motivating
him to be toilet trained. The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old
curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table.
For example: An eighth grader is easily distracted, irritable. His grades in school are suffering.
He's argumentative. Should parents push him more, or should they understand so his selfesteem doesn't suffer? With a 13-year-old, the problem could be a number of things. He may
be depressed. He could be getting too little sleep. Is he staying up too late? It could be he
simply needs some help in structuring time to allow time for studying. He may have a
learning problem. Pushing him to do better is not the answer. The problem needs to be
diagnosed by a professional.
After all, what is the goal when you are dealing with children? To show who is the
boss? Or to instill fear? Or to help the child develop into a decent, self-confident human
being? Let me conclude the main points of this speech. Apart from the tips I just mentioned,
the most important characteristics of a good parent are the crucial substances in making both
parent and child harmonious.
The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully.
You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him

politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try
to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your
relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others. For example, if
your child is a picky eater; parents should not make a big deal about eating. Children develop
food preferences. They often go through them in stages. You don't want turn mealtimes into
unpleasant occasions. Just don't make the mistake of substituting unhealthy foods. If you don't
keep junk food in the house, they won't eat it. Likewise, the checkout line tantrum can be
avoided. Children respond very well to structure. You can't go shopping without preparing
them for it. Tell them; 'We will be there 45 minutes. Mommy needs to buy this.' Show them
the list. If you don't prepare them, they will get bored, tired, upset by the crowds of people.
Parents forget to consider the child, to respect the child. You work on your relationships with
other adults, your friendships, your marriage, dating. But what about your relationship with
your child? If you have a good relationship, and you're really in tune with your child, that's
what really matters. Then none of this will be an issue.
Face it, you are an imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family
leader. Recognize your abilities; I am loving and dedicated. Vow to work on your
weaknesses; I need to be more consistent with discipline. Try to have realistic expectations
for yourself, your spouse, and your kids. You don't have to have all the answers; be forgiving
of yourself. And try to make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the
most attention rather than trying to address everything all at once. Admit it when you're
burned out. Take time out from parenting to do things that will make you happy as a person,
or as a couple. Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It simply means you care
about your own well-being, which is another important value to model for your children.
I have gathered all tips and advices in this speech that will have a profound effect on
your whole family. Let us together share the latest thinking about raising happy and healthy
kids. Before I end my speech, I would like to express loads of thankful and most appreciation
to dear parents as the honoured guest for this blessed morning. Thank you.