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0 range of grammar
This lesson looks at the idea of range of grammar. If you are aiming for a high band score, it is not
simply enough not to make mistakes, you also need to show that you can use a number of different
grammatical constructions. First of all, I talk you through some principles and then I give you some
practical suggestions on what sort of grammar can help and, just as importantly, how to use it.
simple structures when you are making main points often in the opening
and/or closing sentences of your paragraphs
more complex structures when you are explaining/developing those main points
in the body of your paragraphs
a movement from the more simple to the more complex
When you have something simple to say, say it simply. Only use complex structures for more
complex thoughts.
Close Me
This paragraph expresses some complex thoughts, but it starts off simply to make the main point.
The major argument against hosting international sporting events is financial.Typically, it can cost
several million pounds to build the arenas and modernise the infrastructure so that it can cater
for the athletes and the spectators. This money, it is argued, would be better spent on welfare and
education programmes that provide direct support for the population.Indeed, some governments
have incurred so much debt through hosting the Olympic Games that they have had to reduce
spending on other social programmes.
The first sentence of this paragraph is simple. All I want to do is make clear that the main reason is
financial. I use simple clear English so that reader gets the main point. The grammar is It is
financial.
The next sentences are more complex and use complex structures to express more complex
thoughts
so that because I am talking about results
would be better spent because I am talking conditionally
that provide direct support for the population because I am defying my terms
1.
2.
Close Me
None of the sentences in this paragraph are particularly long for short.
Another way in which free public transport could improve our quality of life relates to
congestion. Currently, the trend is for increasing numbers of people to choose to drive to work. This
means that in many cases the rush hour is several hours long and it is sometimes almost
impossible to travel across a city.It is probable that this level of congestion would be reduced by
making public transport free.
The first sentence is shorter because it is the opening sentence of the para and it also includes the
complex in which construction.
The second sentence is shortish again because it is merely stating a fact no need to make it
more complex
The third sentence is a longer sentence, but it is simply linked using and
The final sentence is again relatively short/simple sentence but it does contain a conditional
would and a by structure.
1. the passive
I start with the passive because it is so often misused. It is not the case that the passive is an
academic structure that should be used in essays. We use it all the time in all sorts of contexts.
Here, though, is one way you might find it helpful in writing: to avoid repeating words
especially nouns/pronouns. You may want to avoid using some words too much especially
words from the question. Here the passive can help you. In a question about government action,
rather than writing:
The government should introduce measures to
you can try
Measures should be introduced
so that you dont repeat the word government.
2. Relatives
This is another piece of grammar you need to feel comfortable with and can help you. You should
be careful, however, not to overuse relatives as they can make your writing both confusing and
confused. One tip I would give you here is to try and restrict yourself to one relative per sentence
and to try and avoid them in already complex sentences. Look at this example:
There is a real danger that allowing people to travel for free would deprive transport authorities
funds which they need and lead to a lower standard of service.
The relative can be avoided by changing it into an adjective phrase:
There is a real danger that allowing people to travel for free would deprive transport authorities of
much needed funds and lead to a lower standard of service.
When you do use relatives though is to define terms and add detail. Here is an example in action:
More than that, if the authorities plan carefully, they can use the occasion of the sporting event to
help finance public works which benefit the whole population in the long term.
I want to say what sort of public works I am referring to so I define them in the relative which
benefit the whole population in the long term.
3. Conditionals
Here is another piece of grammar that can help you out. Provided that is, you see how and when to
use it. One of the best ways to use these conditionals to explain and give examples. This
means they are likely to come in the body of your paragraphs and not the introduction/opening
sentence. Try this example:
There is also, however, a strong argument not to implement this proposal. This argument is based
on economic competitiveness. If a company was forced to employ more workers to produce the
same amount of goods, then its wage bill would rise and its products might become more
expensive and less competitive compared to companies with longer working weeks. In this case, it
is possible that the company either might become insolvent or it would have to make some
employees redundant. As a result, the intended benefit to the personnel would not happen.
This time around I have given you the whole para so that you can see the context. I use a
conditional because I am explaining a point. You should also see that we use might and would
in the following sentences even though there is no if.
Do you want to show off? Then you might consider using conditionals that do not use if. So you
could use:
Were a company to be forced
4. Parallel structures
There are a number of different parallel structures we have in English. They come in useful when
we are combining, comparing or contrasting points again something that you are likely to do
in your essays. This is a useful piece of grammar to focus on, as when used well they make your
writing more cohesive. For example
Not only would unemployment be reduced, but the working conditions of employees on very long
shifts would also be significantly improved.
You may think not only..but also is too easy to impress. Dont. Simple things done well impress
too and this sentence is complex enough as it is.
The point here is that I use them to make impersonal points or sound academic. They too have
their meanings and uses.
Do you use different grammatical structures? (You should have at least some of
the ones I have mentioned)
Can you see why you have used any of the more complex structures?
How long is your average sentence? (around 15 words is about right I would
suggest)
Do your paragraphs combine longer and shorter sentences and simpler and
more complex sentences?
Do you use and and but?
avoiding words like big that are not normally used in more formal written
English
avoiding words like do unless they are part of a set phrase there is almost
always a better variation
finding variations for words such as very to show your range
thinking about collocations (phrases)
The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they choose. So,
if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do so and it
should be accepted that it is not the place of the government to dictate how they lead their lives. A
further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in many so-called
dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday activities such as crossing
the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
The principal reason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can be highly dangerous
and sometimes life-threatening. More than that, it is not just the participants who are at risk, but
spectators too can be seriously injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may not
escape unharmed and there is also a chance that a bouncing tyre or debris will fly into the crowd.
Given this level of danger, it is understandable why people call for the authorities to take action.
Part of the academic writing skill is learning to qualify what you say so that it is not too general.
Take a look at these two examples of qualifying phrases I add in to the improved version. Again,
the changes may seem small but taken together they can have a significant effect on your writing.
We live in a world where health and safety is an ever greater priority. One of the signs
of this is the demand that dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that
argument, my view is that, within certain limits, people should retain the freedom to
participate in whatever sports they choose.
The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they
choose. So, if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should
be free to do so and it should be accepted that it is not the place of the government
to dictate how they lead their lives. A further point is that in statistical terms there is a
low probability of injury in many so-called dangerous sports and people are at greater
risk carrying out everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as
bungee jumping.
retain
principal
assume
participate in
These are all excellent words to learn as they can be used in all sorts of different
contexts. All I would add is that you also need to learn how to use them and that is
where my daily word exercises come in.
So wheres the problem then? For me, the problem is that when I get to the end of the paragraph, I
am not immediately clear what the main point being made was. This can perhaps be best shown
by looking at my improved version of the same paragraph.
Despite these reasons, there is a strong argument in favour of also promoting staff because of their
performance. This can be seen by how some multi-nationals use annual performance and
development reviews when deciding on promotion. Under this system, a supervisor can set targets
for an employee and if those targets are met, then the employee can be promoted, even if they are
relatively junior. The benefit of this approach to promotion is that it encourages staff to work harder
and rewards merit and not just long service.
Notes
1. Less can be more
My version is considerably shorter than the original even though it makes all the same points.
Sometimes, it can help your writing become more coherent if you concentrate on using fewer
words. Likewise, I am not afraid to keep my sentences relatively short. Again, it can be easier to
transmit your ideas if your sentences do not become too complicated.
2. Identify the main idea of the paragraph put it in the first sentence
The first step is to identify what one point you want to make in the paragraph and to state it clearly
in the first sentence. In this example, the main point is promoting staff because of their
performance. Part of the problem with the original version is that most multi-national companies
certainly implement some specific policies to select employees for promotion is not particularly
clear. The idea of performance only occurs in the 4th/5th line.
Practice suggestion
Write paragraphs, not essays
One very simple suggestion is that you practise writing paragraphs and not just essays. It can be a
problem if you only write essays, as it is harder to focus on one particular skill. As you write the
paragraph, it helps to focus on:
simple first sentences that identify the main point of the paragraph and relate to
the question
consider using a circular approach where you restate the main point in the final
sentence
leaving out details that are irrelevant
remember cohesion too (that part of the sample was excellent)
however, to control other forms of the advertising. This means we need to use our commonsense
when we go to the shops, and ask us whether we really need to make that purchase. Parents
should, however, ensure that young people are protected about too much exposure to advertising.
this can mean explaining that it is not in fact necessary to buy the newest Xbox.
My conclusion is that while we cannot escape advertising or its effects in the modern world,
children should be being encouraged not to pay too much attention to it.
mistakes. You need to a range of grammar too remember. What it does mean is:
you almost certainly need a teacher to check your writing and tell you where
you make mistakes
you need to build a checklist of the type of mistakes you make most people
have their own mistakes and it also makes sense to concentrate on common bits of
grammar like countables and uncountables as you will use these in every
sentence.
you need to understand that grammar is more than just verb tenses: it includes
things like word order too
you need to learn to check your own writing (my personal suggestion is that you
dont leave this to the end of the essay when you are tired, but you check as you go)
avoid long, long sentences (20 words is a long sentence, unless its structure is
very simple)
dont forget the basic S-V-O structure of English and think word order (many
mistakes in more complex sentences happen when the subject gets separated from
the verb)
try verbs instead of abstract nouns where you can
be careful with relative clauses and other complex structures (one relative is
more than enough for each sentence)
try and formulate the whole sentence in your head before you start writing. If
you cant, it may be that the sentence is not complex but complicated not a good
thing
How can you achieve this? Avoid complicated ideas and writing
too much
There are no marks in IELTS for quality of ideas. They need to be relevant to the question, but that
is all. It really makes no difference if the examiner disagrees with your thoughts. Many candidates
who are aiming for a high score (perhaps because they are smart), try to show off with great ideas.
Problem you have 40 minutes and you are writing in a second language.
Bigger problem if you try and write something clever, there is a good chance
that your language will become over-complex and you will make mistakes you didnt
need to.
Point to consider the more you write: the more likely you are to make
mistakes and the less likely you are to have time to check
Its a language test: always remember that.
Where next?
Writefix is an exceptional site for writing. It has loads of good materials. Try this as a starting place
and then start browsing:
Important footnote
In the first version of this lesson I described a topic sentence as a map that was a big mistake.
Maps contain lots of details and can be hard to read and take time to understand this is exactly
what a topic sentence should not be.
This new and improved version describes topic sentences as signposts. Signposts can be
understood immediately and show you what way to go without using too much detail. Take a look
below. You are aiming for the first one and not the second!!!!
the shortest sentence in each paragraph is the first one (thats not a rule!)
I dont give reasons (use because) or examples in the first sentence
I do use more complex structures (relatives and if clauses), but I keep them for
my reasons and examples once the examiner is clear about my point of view
morally wrong if they abandoned them when they most needed care. [Now the reason why its
about duty]So, the children of the elderly should be prepared to make sacrifices in their careers
and home life to provide for their parents and this is especially true when they are sick and
incapable of looking after themselves. [A more complex sentence explaining the idea]
Go back over your old essays and copy out the first sentence of each paragraph.
Can you see what that paragraph was about just by reading that sentence?
Thats good.
3.
Does it have reasons and examples in it? That can be dangerous.
Listing paragraphs
This lesson talks you through one way to write your paragraphs: one possible solution is to choose
the listing paragraph method. To help you to learn how to write this type of paragraph, you will find
below instructions on how to write them, useful vocal to do this and examples of what works and
doesnt work.
Do you see how the ideas contained in the content sentences all link back to the main idea in the
topic sentence, highlighted in red?
the topic sentence should come first and be simple: you want the reader to see
immediately what your para is about
it should ideally say that you are going to list different reasons etc. If you dont
do this, the reader may not understand your structure and how the points relate to
each other
Secondly,
One [reason] is
Thirdly/Finally
Simple version
There are three main reasons why people are abandoning the countryside and moving to
cities. Firstly,
Secondly,
Thirdly,
More advanced
There are a number of reasons for this migration from the countryside to urban centres. Perhaps
the most significant of these is that
Another connected reason is that
It can also be caused by
Expert
Close examination shows that there are a variety of causes for this migration. The primary reason
why
Perhaps as significant as this is the fact that
It is also sometimes suggested that
Footnote on IELTS
Can you use this structure in IELTS essays. Most definitely. In fact, you would be foolish not to
practise this form of paragraph, it works very well in exam circumstances when you may not be
able to think of fully developed ideas but have lots of little ideas.
both versions of the test require writing a 250 word essay. Both versions have a separate question
on any given exam day, but the topics and types of essays seem to be about the same.
In terms of the grading, the same four criteria are used to assess both versions of the exam (Task
Response, Cohesion and coherence, Vocabulary, Grammar). As well as this the same people
(examiners) assess the tasks. So, from this perspective they can be considered as equally
challenging to pass.
However, the general exam is easier to prepare for, and less likely to lead to a nasty surprise on
exam day because task 1 only involves leaning how to write a few styles of letters, whereas the
academic version requires the students to learn how to write about a wide variety of charts,
different time periods, and passive tense in order to be able to write about processes and maps.
a quick test to see how well you understand coherence and the use of examples
4 suggestions on how to use examples well
a list of vocabulary to help you do this
Close Me
There are three principal reasons why people commit crimes. The first of these is that they may be
career criminals who have made an active choice to make their living illegally. A second reason
reason relates to the environment they grew up in: a possible illustration of this is if they have been
subject to peer group pressure at an early age to join a gang that terrorised the neighbourhood.
Finally, it is sometimes argued that genetic factors play a role and that some people cannot be
blamed for their criminal actions because they are naturally predisposed to commit crimes.
It is possible to argue that more effective education would lead to a decrease in the crime rate and
that prison is an ineffective deterrent. People who argue in favour of prison often claim that it is not
only the most appropriate way to punish offenders, it also prevents crimes from being
committed. For example, many young people join gangs at an early age due to peer group
pressure and they are led into a life of crime in later life because of the choices they made when
they were younger.
Close Me
This first paragraph works well. It is a listing paragraph with a clear main point in the first sentence
saying there are 3 reasons. The next 3 sentences each state one reason (this is one form of
coherence).
I have highlighted in red an example that clearly relates to and explains the idea in the second
sentence about how environment can affect crime
There are three principal reasons why people commit crimes. The first of these is that they may be
career criminals who have made an active choice to make their living illegally. A second reason
reason relates to the environment they grew up in: a possible illustration of this is if they have been
subject to peer group pressure at an early age to join a gang that terrorised the neighbourhood.
Finally, it is sometimes argued that genetic factors play a role and that some people cannot be
blamed for their criminal actions because they are naturally predisposed to commit crimes.
This paragraph does not really work. It has plenty of good language but the ideas and how they
relate to each other are not especially clear. The first sentence has two main ideas (always
dangerous), one about education, the other about prison being a deterrent.The idea of education is
not explained in the paragraph this is incoherent. The other main problem is that the example in
red does not clearly relate to the main ideas of the paragraph. This also is incoherent
It is not enough to use examples, you need to show how they relate to your main idea.
It is possible to argue that more effective education would lead to a decrease in the crime rate and
that prison is an ineffective deterrent. People who argue in favour of prison often claim that it is not
only the most appropriate way to punish offenders, it also prevents crimes from being
committed. For example, many young people join gangs at an early age due to peer group
pressure and they are led into a life of crime in later life because of the choices they made when
they were younger.
Tip four just say how the example illustrates the main point
P-E-E-P
This tip is similar to the previous one. Only the idea this time is that you add a sentence after the
example to explain how it links to the main idea. This leads to a model paragraph that goes:
Point Explanation Example Point
Look at how it can work here. The first sentence and the last sentence of para make essentially the
same point and the final sentence links back into the example (This leads to the conclusion).
There are many people who believe that longer prison sentences are necessary for repeat
offenders. The idea is that people are much less likely to re-offend if they know that they will
receive a serious sentence of perhaps 20 years for any further crimes. This would reform the
system where many criminals do re-offend simply because they know that the consequences will
not be very severe if they are caught. For example, a petty thief who might take the risk of a gaol
term of 6 months would not risk 20 years for the same crime. This leads to the conclusion that
longer gaol terms for repeat offenders are an effective deterrent.
The first step is naturally to think about what pronouns are. Dont let the name put you off, they are
among the first words you learned in English and you use them all the time in any case. Perhaps
the best way to show you what they are is if you try this quick exercise. I have written a short
passage and taken the pronouns out all you have to do is put them back in. As you work through
the exercise you should note how:
pronouns can link both different sentences and parts of the same sentence
pronouns can help you avoid repetition
pronouns do have some grammar too so you need to be able to choose they
or their for instance
pronouns can refer back to one word or back to a whole group of words
and
but
furthermore
Question 1 Explanation:
Note how cohesion works inside sentences. "something that" refers back to/links to
the first part of the sentence: "There are a number of different ways of ensuring that
your writing links together". So cohesion is a way of linking the different parts of your
sentences together. The "that" here is a form of relative pronoun.
Question 2
There are a number of different ways of ensuring that your writing links together something that teachers call cohesion. One of __________ is, of course, to use the
normal linking words such as furthermore and moreover.
this
that
those
these
Question 3
It would be a mistake, however, to think that ______ is the only method of achieving
cohesion because there are in fact other options _______work just as well and,
sometimes, much better.
this/which
these/who
those/that
Question 4
Indeed, the ability to employ a range of cohesive devices and not just the normal
linking words is one of the keys to good writing. It can also be argued that
learners __________ only concentrate on using ________ words write less cohesively as a
result.
which/that
who/those
not/those
Question 5
This is particularly the case when learners use a linking phrase such as as a matter
of fact' wrongly because ______ fail to realise that it has quite an exact meaning and
can only be used in some cases.
of
to
they
them
their
Question 6
My personal recommendation is that learners who wish to improve the cohesion
of _________ writing should concentrate not on the traditional linking words, rather
that they should think about how using pronouns well can link their writing together much more
effectively.
they
them
their
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List
The writing is just as cohesive as before only now the grammar is more sophisticated and we
have avoided some needless repetition.
4. A top tip old information comes first
A standard guideline is to start sentences with old information (from the previous sentence). If you
do this (use old information first), you will almost certainly start to use pronouns like this in an
intelligent way.
The plan serves three purposes. First, it helps you think about the main points you will write, so it
increases your score for Task Response. Second, it helps you structure your essay better, so it
increases your score for Cohesion and Coherence. Finally, it saves you time. Thats right! By
making a plan first, you wont have to keep stopping to think what you will write next.
Each essay question is composed of two parts. The TOPIC, which is what the essay is about; and
the TASK, which is what sort of essay you need to write. There are three main types of essays. The
first asks you opinion, or do you agree or disagree. The second asks you to explain two sides of an
argument and then give your own personal opinion on that topic. The third asks you two questions;
for example, discuss the problems and solutions.
You should learn how to plan for all three types of essays. You can practice your planning by
looking at past exam questions and thinking what would be your main points and how would you
structure the essay. If you need someone to correct your essays and give feedback on how to
improve checkout my service at: http://ieltsanswers.com/IELTS-Essay-Correction.html
Academic language
Start
Points to avoid in academic writing
This is a short form guide to some of the donts in academic writing.
2. Imprecise language
When we write academically, we tend to use more precise language. So these examples dont
work:
I dont think its very important for small kids to learn English.
This is the best thing to do.
6. Personal pronouns
A big area. Academic writing tends to be relatively impersonal and so we try to avoid over-using
personal pronouns. This does not mean that you cant use them, you just need to be careful how
you do it. If it is important to show that something is your personal opinion, then I or my can be
acceptable. The one pronoun to avoid is the informal you.
I dont think its very important for small kids to learn English.
3. Cautious language
This is really to do with opinions. The more academic we become, the more we hedge or weaken
opinions/statements that are strong. In practice, what this means is that we use a lot of possibility
and probability type words when we write academically. For example:
This solution is perhaps too radical and may cause as many problems as it solves.
On balance, this would seem to be the most appropriate course of action.
A sample essay
To see how this works, try looking at this sample essay. You will find two parallel versions of it. One
is more formal/academic and the other isnt. I have highlighted the major differences between the
two versions.
Close Me
In the modern world, we frequently no longer rely on food that has been grown locally, but we have
become accustomed to buying produce from all over the world. While this trend has some clear
benefits to consumers, I would argue that overall transporting food over long distances is a
negative.
In the modern world, we often dont rely on food that has been grown locally, but we have got used
to buying food from all over the world. While this trend is good for consumers, I think that overall
transporting food over long distances is not a good thing.
The strongest argument against importing food is environmental. Studies have shown that
transport and the use of fossil fuels is one of the leading causes of global warming and climate
change. This means that if we want to lead a greener lifestyle, we should be trying to
minimise transport and this includes the unnecessary transport of foodstuffs.
The biggest argument against importing food is environmental. We know that transport and the use
of fossil fuels is the biggest cause of global warming and climate change. This means that if we
want to lead a greener lifestyle, we should try not to use transport so much and this includes
transporting of foodstuffs when we dont have to.
Another point that needs to be considered is the impact of transporting food on local farmers and
traditional ways of life. Again, there is good research to show that farmers and smallholders
are unable to compete in price with the supermarkets that import cheap, and often low-quality,
produce from abroad. This is not just a problem for local farmers who are likely to go out of
business, it also has an impact onweakening traditional communities that rely on those farms for
employment and trade.
Another point is that transporting food is bad for local farmers and traditional ways of life. This is
because farmers and smallholders cannot compete in price with the supermarkets that import
cheap, and often low-quality, produce from abroad. This is not just a problem for local farmers who
will go out of business, it also weakens traditional communities that need those farms for
employment and trade.
A further consideration is that food that has travelled across the world is considerably less
healthy than locally grown, fresh produce. The point is that the further food travels before it
reaches the consumer, the less fresh it will be and any nutritionist will confirm that fresh food
is fuller of vitamins. Therefore, it would be preferable if supermarkets and other stores did not
transport food from other countries.
We should also think how food that has travelled across the world is not as good for you as locally
grown, fresh produce. This is because if food travels a lot of miles before it reaches the consumer,
it wont be very fresh and experts say that fresh food is better for you. So, in my opinion,
supermarkets and other stores shouldnt transport food from other countries.
In conclusion, I believe that the trend for transporting food over long distances
is undesirable because it is environmentally unfriendly, threatens local communities and results
in less healthy options for the consumer.
In conclusion, I think that the trend for transporting food over long distances is wrong because it
is not good for the environment, it is bad for local communities and means consumers eat less
healthily.
The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if someone
wants to jump out of a plane, then they should be allowed to and the government cannot say what
they should do. Many dangerous sports are also not very risky and it is as dangerous doing
everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
I think that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not ban them. It should
also make certain that there is as little danger as possible because safety is the most important
thing. This is most important for young children.
avoiding words like big that are not normally used in more formal written
English
avoiding words like do unless they are part of a set phrase there is almost
always a better variation
finding variations for words such as very to show your range
thinking about collocations (phrases)
Close Me
We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important. One of the signs of
this people want the government to ban dangerous sports. While I understand that argument, my
view is that people should be free to do whatever sports they want.
We live in a world where health and safety is an ever greater priority. One of the signs of this is the
demand that dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that argument, my view is
that, within certain limits, people should retain the freedom to participate in whatever sports
they choose.
The biggest reason for objecting to dangerous sports is that they can be very dangerous and can
sometimes kill people. More than that, it is not just the sportspeople who are in danger, but
spectators too can be badly hurt. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may
be hurt and it is possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is
understandable why people want the government to ban these sports.
The principal reason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can be highly dangerous
and sometimes life-threatening. More than that, it is not just the participants who are at risk, but
spectators too can be seriously injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may not
escape unharmed and there is also a chance that a bouncing tyre or debris will fly into the crowd.
Given this level of danger, it is understandable why people call for the authorities to take action.
The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if
someone wants to jump out of a plane, then they should be allowed to and the
government cannot say what they should do. A further point is that many dangerous sports are
not very risky and it is as dangerous doing everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking
a meal as bungee jumping.
The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they choose. So,
if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do so and it
should be accepted that it is not the place of the government to dictate how they lead their lives. A
further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in many so-called
dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday activities such as crossing
the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
I think that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not ban them. It should
also make certain that there is as little danger as possible because safety is the most
important thing. This is most important for young children who cannot make their own decisions.
My personal view is that while the government and other authorities do need to regulate dangerous
sports, it would be preferable not to impose a ban on them entirely. I would suggest that
safeguards need to be established so that any risk is minimised. What these safeguards are will
vary from sport to sport, but safety has to be paramount, especially where minors are involved.
Tip when you learn vocabulary, learn phrases and not just words
Part of solution to this problem is to learn phrases. For example, you are much more likely to be
able to use participate, if you have first learnt the phrase participate in a sport.
The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they choose. So,
if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do so and it
should be accepted that it is not the place of the government to dictate how they lead their lives. A
further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in many so-called
dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday activities such as crossing
the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
The principal reason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can be highly dangerous
and sometimes life-threatening. More than that, it is not just the participants who are at risk, but
spectators too can be seriously injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may not
escape unharmed and there is also a chance that a bouncing tyre or debris will fly into the crowd.
Given this level of danger, it is understandable why people call for the authorities to take action.
retain
principal
assume
participate in
These are all excellent words to learn as they can be used in all sorts of different
contexts. All I would add is that you also need to learn how to use them and that is
where my daily word exercises come in.
give your opinion this must be clear in the introduction and the conclusion
about whether health will be better in future this means that you need to talk
about the future and now there must be some comparison
3.
about whether people will live longer this needs to be mentioned to
All these things must be included.
the introduction matches the conclusion the opinion/point of view is the same:
you just need to change the language
the two body paragraphs link to the opinion/point view in the introduction
To do this try this simple essay structure plan. It may just look like 4 boxes on a blank piece of
paper , but it might save your life!
See my example
Im going to go for a balanced type essay with an argument that it health and longevity (living for a
long time) will get worse in the West but better in developing nations. Before I start writing I make
sure I can say this simply
I think health will get worse in the west but better in developing countries and this will affect how
long people live.
Introduction
There is no question that medicine has progressed dramatically over the last century, but this does
not mean that all our medical problems have been solved. Indeed, my belief is that the average life
span in the Western world may actually fall in the 21st century. This is in contrast to the situation in
developing countries where I expect health provision to improve and longevity to increase.
Paragraph 1
The main reason why overall health may become worse in the industrialised nations of the
West relates to modern lifestyles there.
Paragraph 2
The situation in the developing world is, however, quite different and overall health is likely
to improve.
Conclusion
My conclusion is therefore a mixed one. While it is true that people may face greater problems with
their health in the future, this only applies to industrialised nations and not to the developing
world where life expectancy may increase.
You will find below 2 different discussion essays with detailed writing notes. What you should see is
that:
both essays answer the question: they discuss the issue and give an opinion
one essay keeps the opinion to the end and discusses only objectively
the other establishes the opinion in the introduction and comments on the issues throughout the
essay
Which is better?
I have a very strong preference for the second type of essay particularly if you are aiming for a high
score of 7.0 and above
it is typically more intelligent by adding comments on the points of view you get more to say and
you are able to discuss the views both objectively and subjectively this is likely to help you give
a much more complete answer by discussing the points of view fully and not merely stating
objectively what people think
it is typically much more coherent your point of view is clear throughout the whole essay and not
just the conclusion
it allows you to avoid some very tired formulaic language
Some people prefer the other structure. Here is why it may help
it is perhaps quicker to learn it often includes more formula language
it allows you to treat the two parts of the question separately: first their views and then your opinion
this can seem simpler especially at lower levels
it does not need much thinking time before you start writing as your own opinions only come in the
conclusion personally I dont believe that thats a good thing
Introduction
The goal here is to state clearly that the essay is going to take a balanced position and/or look at
both sides of the issue. This means examiner/reader should understand from the introduction your
position and how essay will be structured. In practice this means that in the intro you should try to:
While there are grounds to argue that it would benefit society and young people themselves if
teenagers were made to do unpaid work in the community, it can equally be argued that this would
be an infringement of their rights. In this essay, I shall examine the merits of both sides of the
argument and state my own opinion.
Balanced approach
This is the approach I generally prefer as you clearly identify your position on one side of the
argument or the other. I believe it is better because it is simply clearer.
There are grounds to argue that it would benefit society and young people themselves if teenagers
were made to do unpaid work in the community. While this is an interesting proposal and has some
merit, my own view is that it would infringe their rights.
Main body
In the main body, there are two ideas to focus on:
1.
2.
The conclusion
The same ideas apply to the conclusion: the language and ideas of the intro and the first/topic
sentences should be reflected here too. You may also consider referring back to some of the
details of your argument to emphasise that you are able to support your case with reasons and
examples. Do that and the the essay should be coherent. Again, it greatly helps if you remember to
go back and re-read the essay before you write the conclusion.
Some people think that teenagers should do unpaid work to help society because this will
help them to be better individuals and also improve the society as a whole. To what extent
do you agree or disagree with this proposal?
While there are grounds to argue that it would benefit society and young people themselves if
teenagers were made to do unpaid work in the community, it can equally be argued that this would
be an infringement of their rights. In this essay, I shall examine the merits of both sides of the
argument.
One argument in favour of making teenagers to do voluntary work in the community is that it
would benefit society. It is certainly true that there is a shortage of labour in many parts of the
public sector and if young people worked, then many public services would improve. For example,
it would be quite possible for teenagers to do part-time jobs in the health such as working as
hospital porters. This would have the effect of ensuring patients got better care and would allow
trained professionals to concentrate on more skilled tasks something that would benefit society
as a whole.
A second argument is that teenagers would mature as individuals if they went out to work,
especially if it was in the voluntary sector. Currently, many teenagers have little sense of social
responsibility and spend much of their free time plying basketball or computer games. If, however,
they were given real life tasks to do, they would learn important life skills such as responsibility,
teamwork and leadership. These skills would almost certainly benefit them in their later careers.
Despite these arguments, there is an equally strong case to be made that it would be morally
wrong to force teenagers to go out to work, particularly if they did not earn a salary. This can be
explained by the fact that in recent years, there has been a global movement to stop the practice of
child labour. The main philosophy behind this movement is that childhood, including the teenage
years, should be a time for education and growth, not work. It would not just send the wrong
message out if teenagers were made to do voluntary work, there is also the real danger that young
people would be exploited in the workplace.
In conclusion, I believe that while there are real merits on both sides of the argument, the moral
case againstforcing young people to work slightly outweighs any benefit to society or to
teenagers as individuals. This is reinforced by belief in the principle that childhood is a time for
education and fear of the danger of exploitation.
General approach
My suggested approach is the same as for any type of essay question:
Understand the question
Decide on your point of view
Make the point of view clear in the introduction
Decide how to use your 2/3 main body paragraphs
Use the conclusion to reflect your introduction
The tricky part is probably getting the introduction and conclusion right.
Quite often with this type of question the two separate parts ask you to write in different ways
and that typically (not always) one part of the question will ask you to discuss a problem and the
other part of the question will ask you to give an opinion.
So in the example question
In what ways has technology affected the types of personal relationships? is a discussion type
question which you can write more objectively
Has this become a positive or negative development? is an opinion question which requires
a subjective opinion answer
This means your answer has two include two separate parts a more general discussion and an
opinion.
Close Me
Model introduction
Here is my example:
Advances in technology have without doubt influenced the way we communicate with each other in
a number of different ways. While some of this change can have a negative influence on the we
way interact, my view is that overall modern technology typically improves communication in
personal relationships.
Close Me
Notes
You should see that I clearly identify the two parts of the question:
Advances in technology have without doubt influenced the way we communicate with each other in
a number of different ways.While some of this change can have a negative influence on the we way
interact, my view is that overall modern technology typically improves communication in personal
relationships.
Also note that I am 100% clear that I will have an opinion as the question asks me to do
Advances in technology have without doubt influenced the way we communicate with each other in
a number of different ways.While some of this change can have a negative influence on the we way
interact, my view is that overall modern technology typically improves communication in personal
relationships.
Close Me
Model paragraphs
Paragraph A
It is clear that technology has changed the way we communicate in several respects. Perhaps the
clearest example of this is that nowadays many people prefer to keep in touch to their friends and
relatives using applications and social networking sites like FaceTime, Skype and
Facebook. Another way this change is evident is how the email and texting have almost
completely replaced the letter as the primary form of written communication. Because these
modern forms of communication are typically much more convenient and instant, one result is
that we can communicate more easily with people who we do not see on a daily basis.
Paragraph B
I would argue that these innovations have mostly improved personal relationships. The principal
benefit is that it just so much easier to stay in touch with people we might otherwise lose contact
with. It is for example now very straightforward to keep in contact with friends from university who
move to different cities after they graduate and this means relationships last longer. The only real
drawback is that sometimes people become so addicted to their online social networks that they
stop communicating with friends in the real world. That, however, is a minor issue.
Close Me
Notes
You should see that Paragraph A lists different ways technology affects personal relationships:
email/FB etc.
This is quite a neutral paragraph as my opinion is coming in the Paragraph B. You should see that
the examples in paragraph A are referred to in paragraph B.
You need to be careful to make sure your ideas are consistent. Most of the examples in my
paragraph A are positive because my paragraph B is positive. If you want a negative paragraph B,
then your examples in paragraph A should be negative too.
The conclusion
Just as with the introduction you want to try and identify both parts of the question. Ideally, you
want to refer to the different changes and your opinion.
Close Me
Model conclusion
My conclusion is therefore that new forms technological communication have in fact largely
improved human interaction because emails, texting and social networks enable us to maintain
friendships which might otherwise be lost.
Notes
This is a great conclusion as it covers both parts of the essay task. It also manages to include my
main reason.
The top top top tip is to re-read your essay before you write the conclusion. That way it is much
easier to write a summary like this.
a little bit more about why I think it helps to concentrate on the process of
writing an essay
a suggested process with explanation about what you should think about in
each stage
advice on common mistakes that can happen if a stage in the process is missed
out
a practice exercise
I should add that there is no magic formula here. This is just one process that I believe works for
IELTS essays. You may be familiar with other processes. Thats fine. The smart candidate will
adapt what they read here to themselves.
Many good essays go wrong simply because they dont answer the question that is being asked.
All IELTS essay questions have a precise question that needs to be answered. If you fail to give
time to reading and understanding the question, you are most unlikely to answer it well. A
possible problem here is that some candidates may come from an academic background where it
is enough to write about the general topic within the question. That doesnt work in IELTS. To avoid
this common mistake simply make giving enough time to read and understand the question part of
your writing routine.
Common mistakes
You get an essay topic, you have written before. You write the same answer. The
question is different.
You write about a general topic, not the question itself.
You simply misunderstand what the question is asking you to do.
Common mistakes
The ideas and examples are fine, they dont relate to the question as it is asked
You start writing and then half way through you realise that your essay doesnt
make sense its too late to start over
Common problems
Theres too much detail and it isnt clear what the main idea is
The ideas arent supported with reasons and examples
The ideas are good but they dont relate to the question
Common mistakes
sometimes the conclusion doesnt get written that means you havent written
an essay
sometimes the conclusion doesnt match the content of the essay or, even
worse, it doesnt answer the question
Concentrate on each phase of the process ask yourself the question what I
am trying to do now?
Dont worry about timing too much it may even make sense to have a cup of
tea between each stage
Some people like to put essays into categories such as opinion essay discussion essay
argument essay etc and decide to answer the question based on a certain model. To do this, you
look at the question and decide what type of essay it wants. This can help because it makes the
planning of your essay less stressful its already half done. Id add though:
you want to be flexible in how you use your models and remember to focus on
the question in front of you. This is especially true if you want a high band score, then
you need to learn to vary your models or have a much greater range of models.
you get a mark for answering the question , not writing a discussion essay or
following a particular model. The examiners do not have a special set of criteria for
different models of essay and it can be misleading to think that any one question must
be written according to one model.
5. count the questions
Questions vary. Some questions require more than one answer. These can be dangerous
questions because if you only answer one part of it, you will lose considerably on Task Response.
Simple answer. Count how many questions there are.
In many countries there has been an exodus of people from rural areas to live in big cit
factors have caused this to happen and is it a positive development?
Hint:
This a double question. The introduction does not identify either part of the question. Th
would need to focus on why people are moving from the country to the city and indicat
this is a good or bad thing. Neither of these is in the intro.
Some people believe that it is preferable to raise their children in the countryside becau
growing dangers of modern urban life. To what extent do you agree with this point of vi
Hint:
This question asks you to say how much ("To what extent") you think it is better for chil
brought up in the countryside than the city because cities are getting more dangerous.
introduction, though, does not really identify this question - it is mentioned only briefly
context of commuting.
Many people say that that the modern ideal is to live in the countryside, but work in the
what extent do you agree with this point of view?
Hint:
This was the question. The introduction works because it identifies the question as bein
much do you think that it is a good idea to work in the city but live in the country." The
opinion is also made clear by saying that there is much to be said for it but it has proble
both good and bad.
An increasing number of people choose to live in the countryside and commute to work
There are those, however, who prefer to live and work in the same place. Discuss both
view and give your own opinion.
Hint:
Close but no cigar. This is a form of 2 part question. The essay (and intro) need to ident
discuss whether it is better to commute to work in the city and live in the country OR w
better to live and work in one place. This second idea is not mentioned in the intro. The
written only answers the yopic and not the task part of the question.
Once you are finished, click the button below. Any items you have not completed will
be marked incorrect.
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PARTIAL-CREDIT
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You need to say what you think
Hint:
Yes, it tells you to give your own opinion
Hint:
No. It clearly says that you must write about both views.
Hint:
Not really. Your opinion could be that there is merit on both sides of the argument. It is
stay on the fence. You do not have to state a strong opinion: you need to state a clear o
something that is very different.
Question 2
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
You can decide to agree only slightly with one point of view.
Question 3
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship that people make? Has
this become a positive or negative development?
You need to say whether this has been a good or bad thing.
If you think that it has been both a good and bad thing you can say that.
Once you are finished, click the button below. Any items you have not completed will
be marked incorrect.
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Make a plan for how long you plan before you walk into the exam room, you
should know more or less how long you expect to plan for
Know how you will plan the exam is not a time for experimentation there
are different ways of making plans find out which way(s) works for you before the
exam
Know what you will plan there are different things you may plan know
what you personally need to plan before the exam
Can I see the structure of the essay in my head? Can I draw my essay?
Aim: The idea here is that your essay should form one complete whole. Sometimes in the process
of writing it is easy to get lost in the detail of what youre trying to say. The solution is to make sure
that you can see in your head (or on a piece of paper) what the final essay will look like.
Skill: What I personally do here is draw a picture of my essay.Its much quicker than writing things
out and visual often works. How much detail you include will depend on you. I typically dont
include much as I am concentrating on the structure of the essay, not the detail.
Practical use: This is practical as drawing a plan is quicker than writing one and time is of the
essence.
I choose to put not much detail on my drawn plan just the main ideas and notes of reasons and
examples. I use it as a map and I find too much detail can confuse. You may like to put more detail
there. Experiment.
Why: The examiner looks for a clearly established and coherent position throughout the essay: if
you dont have this in your head before you start, your essay will lose on Task Response and
Coherence
Tip: Its a simple thing.Read the task words in the question. If it says To what extent do you agree
or disagree, make a sentence saying I agree with this idea to some extent
A top tip dont think of ideas, think of main points, reasons and
examples
The reason for this is that you dont need ideas, you need main points, reasons and examples to
write complete paragraphs and you need to be clear about which is which.
5.Supporting reasons
What and why: these may be more complex.You need them because both Task Response and
Coherence require you to support your ideas.
Tip: It is sometimes as simple as asking yourself the question Why do I think this?
6. Examples
Why: Examples are useful as they help you expand your main points into complete paragraphs.
Tip: Your examples do not need to be clever. The rubric asks you to use examples from your own
knowledge and experience. To get examples,it can help to ask yourself the question about
examples you know of personally.In exams it is often easier to think of memories.
One final tip learn to select that means not including all your
ideas
Many essays go wrong because they try and include too much everything that is in the plan. If
you want to write a coherent essay in exam time, you need to make sure that all your ideas fit
together. Choose the ones that suit argument,leave out the ones that dont no matter how good
they are.
Further reading
Purdue OWL is one of the top writing resources on the internet. It has many, many good
things.Check out its brainstorming page and follow the links from there.
Complex questions
Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and
disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately.
Do you agree or disagree?
If you look at this question, you should see that it is complex as are most IELTS
questions. It is complex because it contains different parts. There is the background
info Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others, the
proposition Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and
taught separately and the task Do you agree or disagree?
My best suggestion is that with questions such as these you should make sure that
your intro identifies both what I call here the background and the proposition. This
may mean your introduction is slightly longer, but it should ensure that you answer
the complete question. If you dont, you may lose on Task Response and Coherence.
you have written 260 words, but in fact it is only230 words. There will be penalised on Task
Response heavily.
Close Me
A serious problem is caused in many schools by children who not only do not pay
attention to their teacher but also disrupt their classmates. One proposed solution is to
place these children in separate classes to minimise disruption. While there is
something to be said for this, I do not believe that it is practical.
Close Me
Some people believe that exams are an inappropriate way of measuring students
performance and should be replaced by continuous assessment. Do you agree or
disagree with this view?
the introduction is a map to the essay you want to spend as much time writing
the content of the essay as as possible. The more time you spend on the intro, the less
you have for the content
2.
some questions are more complex than others and have 2 parts. These
questions may need longer introductions
Further reading
An excellent introduction to introductions is to be found at Writefix. You may need to decide to
adapt the advice there for exams.
You may also want to play with the Essay Map at readwritethink: its an interesting tool that shows
you how the different parts of an essay fit together.
25%
25%
25%
25%
Task response
Coherence and Cohesion
Vocabulary
Grammar
If you are well prepared, then that may be enough information. I would emphasise, however, that it
still pays to stop before you write each paragraph and ask yourself how you will answer the
task, be coherent and cohesive, use a range of vocab and write accurately. You might even
do this before each sentence!
Example
Sometimes it is easier to see the problem when something goes wrong. Try this.
Close Me
This is a slightly amended version of an essay sent to me that was marked down for Task
Response/Essay coherence. If you look at just the topic sentences of the two content paras and
the conclusion, you should see the problem. The language is okay, the ideas are okay- the ideas
dont fit together.
Intro
Every school around the world has a number of problems, one of which is these children causing
noise and disorder in classrooms. Consequently, schools see that putting them together in private
class rooms will be far much better for both students and staff
Content 1
There is a little evidence that putting all noisy students in special classrooms is the
answer_________
Content 2
On the other hand, we must acknowledge that some students are intolerable and are mainly
responsible for the noise for the duration of classes._________________
Conclusion
To conclude, I am convinced that students who step out of line have to be taught together, because
many problem children go to school to kill time not to study; therefore, grouping them together is
simply the solution.
Notes
This essay was marked down on Task Response/Coherence. The problem is highlighted in red.
The first/topic sentence in the first content para does not fit the argument of the essay summarised
in the conclusion. It is incoherent to argue that problem students should be taught together and say
there is no proof that this will work.
You also need to focus on making sure your paragraphs make sense. Again,this is where a good
plan really can help. In practical terms, my suggestion here is that before you write each paragraph
you should know how that paragraph finishes. If you write dynamically and simply keep on adding
ideas, then there is every chance the ideas may not work together no matter how good they
1.
2.
3.
4.
are. Here is a quick checklist for you to look at before you write:
Do I know the one main idea of the paragraph?
Do I know the structure of the paragraph?Am I going to list or explain one point
more fully?
Am I clear about what is the main idea,what is a supporting reason and what is
an example?
Do the reasons and examples support the main idea?
consider beginning each sentence with a linking idea this need not be a word
like Furthermore,often a pronoun like Thisworks just as well
2.
consider using synonyms and words of the same family to link your writing this
is a very practical idea because it will also help your vocabulary
know how you will finish a sentence before you start it a lot of mistakes are
caused by starting- stopping starting again. The first bit is ok. So is the second bit.
They just dont work together.
good vocab tends to be precise vocab precise vocab tends to come from
examples
some of the best grammar you can use comes from qualifying your
ideas (modals, relatives and if clauses)- so if you want to use better grammar think
about not having too many general statements, but using one statement that you
explain in different ways
You might note that there is a strong connection between these ideas and coherence, which is part
of the reason why I started this lesson talking about it. If you want to focus on just one thing as
you write your content paras, for many people coherence may be the best answer
Exercise
Read this essay question. Ask yourself what language you need to include in the conclusion to
answer it
Exercise
Read the essay introduction and ask yourself what is the position of the essay. Your conclusion
must balance this.
Exercise
Read the content paras of this essay to find the main points. To make it easy for you, I have
highlighted the topic sentences
It is almost certainly true that separating out problem students will result in quieter and more
orderly classrooms. This should benefit the majority of children and enable them to learn more
effectively. They would no longer be distracted by classmates who either talk all the time or ignore
the teacher. Teachers would also be able to concentrate on instructing their students and not have
to waste time on disciplinary matters, which should mean that most children learned betetr.
There may, however, be practical problems in implementing this policy. One difficulty would be that
the children placed in special classes may behave even worse than before when they are put
together. It also seems likely that there is less chance of their behaviour improving when they do
not have the positive influence of well-behaved classmates. As a result, this special class could
become so unmanageable that it caused even more problems for the school administration than it
solved.
Close Me
In summary, my belief is that while providing special classes for disruptive children is likely to
benefit the education of the majority of students,it could also lead to more difficulties for school
administrations. For this reason, I suggest that this policy should only be implemented in extreme
circumstances.
Notes
The questions asks Do you agree or disagree? In my intro I outline that there are good and bad
sides to this policy. In my conclusion I answer the question by saying it should happen only
sometimes.
My first content para says that there are some good parts and my second says there are some bad
any time spent checking should be focussed -dont look for mistakes, look for
particular mistakes
dont leave it to the end when it may be too late to help you
reviewing what you have written can help you write better
checking in stages allows you to keep a clear head
I explain these ideas briefly, then suggest a model review plan that you can adapt to your needs.
The key idea is that reviewing your essay is part of the process of writing it, not something
best left to the end. In the exam,the last thing you do is write your conclusion you will already
have reviewed essay before then.
Idea two check as you write and not just at the end
A further suggestion is that you go back and check each part of the essay after you have written it.
Too time-consuming? Perhaps. Though with a little practice, it can work for you. Consider these
thoughts:
time is of the essence in the exam you want to use your 40 minutes efficiently
if you spend time reviewing your writing and find no or only few mistakes, that
is inefficient
it is much easier to check a paragraph than a whole essay there is less to
read! You are much more likely to find grammar/vocabulary problems you might
otherwise miss this way
review ideas:
Can I rephrase the question in my own words?
How many parts of the question are there?
What is the task?
Step 2. Introduction
Generally, you want to check that your intro matches the question and leads into the essay you
want to write.
review ideas
Have I identified all parts of the question?
Have I identified the task?
Is my position clear?
Have I repeated too much vocab from the question?
review ideas:
Is the main idea obvious from the first sentence? (This is a common problem
and if you have a problem, a quick fix is not to rewrite the whole para but add
one sentence at the end to summarise the main idea)
Does the first sentence refer back to the introduction?
If the content paras make different points is this clear from the introduction?
If they make the same point in different ways, is this clear in the intro?
Do I repeat one word too much?
review ideas;
Do I refer to ideas in both/all 3 content paras in my conclusion?
Do I use some of the same language in my conclusion as in the content paras to
help cohesion and coherence?
Do I explicitly answer the question as it is asked?
Does my conclusion mirror what I say in the intro?
http://www.dcielts.com/ielts-essays/reviewing-your-essaypart-of-the-process-of-writing/