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Physical Changes:
At adolescence - a period ranging in most children from 11 18 years, but earlier in onset for
girls than for boys a number of physical changes occur which can be a source of great
embarrassment and perplexity to children. The rapid bodily growth known as the adolescent
growth spurt causes a sudden increase in height and an elongation of the arms and the legs
which now seem to be too long. They therefore look and feel clumsy and awkward, they easily
bump into objects and people and they drop things often. All these changes induce self
consciousness and easy embarrassment in them. The rapid growth is also often accompanied
by restlessness due to energy that becomes readily available and which must be dissipated but
which once dissipated is followed by sudden fatigue.
Adolescents differ in the rates at which they grow. Some mature early while others mature late
and these differences cause corresponding changes in the behaviour of these children. The
early maturing boy, for instance, is big for his age, muscular, well built and well coordinated. He
is therefore likely to be treated as an adult and his social experiences are likely to be those of an
adult. He is also likely to be a good athlete, he may therefore enjoy great social prestige and
popularity and these may give him poise, self assurance and generally good adjustment. The
late maturing boy, on the other hand, is small for his age and he tends to be regarded and
treated as a small child. He is not likely to be too successful at athletics and therefore he is not
as popular as his early maturing colleagues. He may thus have feelings of inadequacy and
inferiority and he may tend to withdraw and may then become isolated. Moreover, he may try to
compensate for his inferiority feelings by bragging, arguing or aggressiveness. These
characteristics might come to have adverse effects on both his academic performance and his
social relationships.
Perhaps more startling than the effects of increase in physical size and of differences in rates of
maturing are the effects of attaining sexual maturity on the behaviour of the adolescent. Puberty,
the time when sexual maturity is reached has a wide range in children 10 to 16 in girls and 12
to 18 in boys. It is marked in boys by growth in the size of the testes and the penis, appearance
of pubic and; facial hair, the breaking of the voice and the first ejaculation of semen. In girls,
puberty is marked by the development of the vagina and uterus, enlargement of the breasts,
growth of pubic hair and the first menstruation. These sexual changes are matched by sex
linked changes, in body proportions. The girls shoulders become more rounded, the waist
narrows and the hips broaden while the boys shoulders broaden and the hip narrows to give
the typical feminine and masculine figures respectively. The sensitivity and interest in the
opposite sex and an increase in sex drive is true for both boys and girls. This period is therefore
prolific of intense love affairs which have profound effects on the academic performance and on
the emotional welfare of these adolescents. The conflict between their sex drive and societal
norms is especially intense and a way of resolving this conflict must be found by those who help
these children in finding methods of adequate adjustment to lifes problems.
Societal Expectations:
Problems and conflicts arising from the attainment of physical and sexual maturity are not the
only ones confronting adolescents. They have certain personality needs which determine their
behavior. In trying to fulfill these needs, they may come into conflict with societal norms thus
increasing their own problems. The four most urgent personality needs during adolescence are:
1. Need for status: Adolescents want to be important, to have a standing in their group, to be
recognized and to be regarded as adults. They therefore tend to copy adults boys smoke
cigarettes, girls wear bras and use lipsticks. When they cannot achieve such status among
peers or in the esteem of their parents, they may become discipline problems.
2. Need for Independence: Adolescents also want to be free of parental control and to be self
directing.
3. Need for Achievement: Adolescents want to be able to achieve something in life, to be
successful and to become important. When they are faced with successive failures, they may
become difficult and aggressive from frustration. Threats and punishment will, in such situations,
only worsen matters.
4. Need for a Satisfying Philosophy of Life: The adolescent, equipped with his newly acquired
ability to reason, actively questions most of the things around him and searches for the meaning
of his existence. He is highly idealistic and he is sensitive to injustices, corruption, and
misgovernment and to those who do not practice what they preach. Disgusted with the society
around him, he may try to forget his own society like the hippy cult or he may resort to
taking drugs or he may look for comfort by embracing new religions like many Nigerian
adolescent students who are subscribing to the Apostolic Faith or the student Christian
Movement. These adolescents need to be helped in their search for a meaningful philosophy of
life.
Implications for Counseling
Before indicating some of the procedures that have been found useful in helping adolescents to
cope with the problems described above, it is necessary to indicate some of the qualities
desirable in those who are to provide such help. The helper himself must be approachable or
adolescents may find it difficult to come to him with their problems. He must be able to listen, to
have a ready ear for other peoples problems; he must be able to keep a secret, i.e. trustworthy;
he must be quite knowledgeable especially, with regard to relevant information and in
understanding the source of adolescents problems such as have been outlined above. He must
also be aware of different methods of solving human problems and he must be tolerant enough
to accept adolescents as they are without being too critical.
Concerning the problems arising from the physical changes occurring during the adolescents
growth spurt, children should be educated as to the normality and the universality of these
changes. They should be prepared in advance to expect these changes and they should be
taught how to cope with them e.g., with the first menstruation. The excess energy causing
restlessness should be diverted into games and other useful activity after which some time for
abundant rest should be provided because of the easy fatigue in adolescents following any
exerting activity. This easy fatigue should not be misconstrued, for instance, for laziness. The
early matured should be helped to manage his powers at athletics as well as the attendant
popularity so that these do not work to the detriment of his academic work. The late matured, on
the other hand, must be given plenty of support and he should be reintegrated into the class if
his tendency to boast and to be aggressive has started to isolate him from his mates. No effort
should be spared in explaining to the adolescent that the physical changes that cause him
embarrassment are normal and transitory.
In relation to those problems attendant upon sexual maturity, the adolescent must be given sex
education that is appropriate to the society in which he lives. The Nigerian tradition of making
sex topics taboo is unhelpful to todays adolescents and both parents and teachers should
provide these adolescents with adequate knowledge of themselves, their inner tendencies, and
of societys requirements and the various alternatives open to them in resolving the ensuing
conflict between these. During periods of intense love affairs or disappointments which
characterize this stage, adolescents should be made aware of the possible outcomes of such
friendships and given adequate support in the time of frustrated love something which is
often very disruptive of their personal equilibrium.
Those problems which arise from societal expectations of the adolescent as well as from his
own deeper personality needs must be handled with careful understanding by the teacher and
the parent. Adolescents must be given positions of responsibility and they should be made to
feel that they are controlling their own lies by being allowed to plan and execute their own
programmes. They need to have information about their abilities and their capabilities and about
the world of work so that they can begin to make realistic occupational plans. They should be
given work that is commensurate with their abilities so that the experience of success which
follows could begin to generate a measure of self confidence in them. They should also be
aided in their search for a meaningful philosophy of life by attempting to explain to them the
reasons for the apparent contradictions in the behaviour of people around them. May be by
doing this, they will become less idealistic in their own expectations of society.
In conclusion, it must be remembered that whenever the adolescent exhibits undesirable
behaviour, it is often because he has certain physical and personality needs that must be
satisfied. Whether he is shy or aggressive, reckless or negatively idealistic, helpful or impudent,
all depends on the needs which are active at the time of such behaviour and how he goes about
satisfying them. Since his behaviour always has a motive, the important question to ask in
dealing with the behaviour is What need of this particular adolescent is being met by this mode
of behaviour? Once identified, the teacher or parent should then help the adolescent to satisfy
the need in more socially acceptable ways.
During adolescence, youll notice changes in the way your child interacts
with family, friends and peers. Every childs social and emotional
development is different. Your childs development is shaped by your childs
unique combination of genes, brain development, environment, experiences
with family and friends, and community and culture.
Social and emotional changes show that your child is forming an
independent identity and learning to be an adult.
People spend their childhood learning to be like their parents, and their
adolescence learning who they are and how they are different from their
parents.
Dr Miriam Kaufman, 2006
Social changes
You might notice that your child is:
searching for identity. Young people are busy working out who they are
and where they fit in the world. This search can be influenced by gender,
peer group, cultural background and family expectations
seeking more independence. This is likely to influence the decisions your
child makes and the relationships your child has with family and friends
seeking more responsibility, both at home and at school
looking for new experiences. The nature of teenage brain
development means that teenagers are likely to seek out new experiences
and engage in more risk-taking behaviour. But they are still developing
control over their impulses
thinking more about right and wrong. Your teenager will start
developing a stronger individual set of values and morals. Teenagers also
learn that theyre responsible for their own actions, decisions and
consequences. They question more things. Your words and actions shape
your childs sense of right and wrong
influenced more by friends, especially when it comes to behaviour, sense
of self and self-esteem
starting to develop and explore a sexual identity. Your child might start
to have romantic relationships or go on dates. These are not necessarily
has more arguments with you. Some conflict between parents and
children during the teenage years is normal, as children seek more
independence. It actually shows that your child is maturing. Conflict tends to
peak in early adolescence. If you feel like youre arguing with your child all
the time, it might help to know that this isnt likely to affect your relationship
with your child in the longer term
sees things differently from you. This isnt because your child wants to
upset you. Its because your child is beginning to think more abstractly and
to question different points of view. At the same time, some teenagers find it
difficult to understand the effects of their behaviour and comments on other
people. These skills will develop with time.
Your childs relationships with family and peers will undergo dramatic
changes and shifts. Strong relationships with both family and friends are
vital for healthy social and emotional development. Parents tend to influence
a young persons long-term decisions, such as career choices, values and
morals. Their friends are more likely to influence short-term choices, such as
appearance and interests.
Supporting social and emotional development
Here are some ideas to help you support your childs social and emotional
development.
Be a role model for forming and maintaining positive relationships
with your friends, children, partner and colleagues. Your child will learn from
observing relationships where there is respect, empathy and positive ways of
resolving conflict.
Get to know your childs friends, and make them welcome in your home.
This will help you keep in touch with your childs social relationships. It also
shows that you recognise how important your childs friends are to your
childs sense of self. If youre concerned about your childs choice of friends,
provide gentle and consistent guidance.
Listen to your childs feelings. If your child wants to talk, stop and give
your child your full attention. If youre in the middle of something, make a
specific time when you can listen. Respect your childs feelings and try to
understand your childs perspective, even if its not the same as yours. For
example, It sounds like youre feeling left out because youre not going to
the party on Thursday night.
Be explicit and open about your feelings . In particular, tell your child
how you feel when your child behaves in different ways. For example, I felt
really happy when you invited me to your school performance. This helps
your child learn to read and respond to emotions. It also models positive and
constructive ways of relating to other people.
Be a role model for positive ways of dealing with difficult
emotions and moods. For example, there will be times when youre feeling
cranky, tired and not like interacting with your teenager. Instead of giving
your child the silent treatment, you could say, Im tired and cross. I feel like
I cant talk now without getting upset. Can we have this conversation after
dinner?
Talk with your child about relationships, sex and sexuality . Look for
teachable moments those everyday times when you can easily bring up
these issues. This is often better than having a big talk. Find out what your
child already knows. Correct any misinformation and give the real facts. Use
the conversation as a chance to discuss appropriate sexual behaviour and
values. And always let your child know youre available to talk about
questions or concerns.
Focus on the non-physical . Teenagers are often self-conscious and
anxious about their bodies and appearance. So reinforce the positive aspects
of your teenagers social and emotional development. For example, you
could praise your teenager for being a good friend, or for having a wide
variety of interests, or for trying hard at school and so on.
Its easy to get caught up in your childrens needs. Theres also the day-today business of getting children to the sporting and social activities that are
important for their development. Even with all this going on, looking after
yourself and making time for the things you enjoy can keep you feeling
positive about parenting your teenage child.
Problems related with intensification of sexconsciousness: The sudden awakening of sex instinct during
adolescence results in intensification of sex consciousness.
Adolescents are curious to know about sex related topics and are
seeking answers to their innumerable doubts in sexual matters. In
our country most of the parents are illiterate and they do not have
scientific knowledge of sex problems. Moreover, our social values
Childhood-Adulthood Conflict:
In our society, the
adolescent is considered as neither as a child nor as an adult. He
has to depend his parents and elders for his physical and
emotional needs. But at the same time he wants to hold
independent views and opinions like an adult. He can very well
manage his own affairs and resist any unnecessary interference
from the part of elders. He begins to feel ashamed and
embarrassed for the protection and care shown by the parents.
He is often treated in an ambiguous manner by parents and
teachers. Sometimes they expect him to behave as an adult and
at other times, they treat him as a child. The poor adolescent is
caught between the role of the child and the adult, which push
him into confusion and tension.