How to Be Different (with Pictures) - wikiHow

How to Be Different
Three Parts:Knowing YourselfFinding Your UniquenessPutting It into Action
There are many people out there who want to be "part of the crowd." If you want to be
the leader and stand out from the crowd instead, then this article is for you. It's a
wonderful feeling when you know that you are original and unique.

Steps
Part 1 of 3: Knowing Yourself
1. 1
Know you're unique. For starters, know that you're already different than everyone
on the planet. Sure, some people are more different than others, but all of us have a
unique set of experiences and characteristics that spell out a different reality than
everyone else on Earth. No one else has the same brain you do, the same thoughts
you do, and the same reactions as you do. You're different by just being human.
Labels are pretty useless. Even striving to be different isn't something that's truly
achievable. A quick change of cultures will show you that people operate
differently by default. Instead, accept that you're already unique and work with
yourself. Who is you, anyway?
2. 2
Find yourself and be yourself. In order to be as different as possible, you have to
be you -- not a carbon copy of someone else. If you don't know who you are, that
process can seem a bit scary. In order to be yourself, you have to find yourself. Do
you know what it is you like? What you are like? Who are you when no one else is
around?
It's important to love yourself, too. If you're not comfortable with who you are,
you'll inevitably end up trying to be someone else -- or at the very least being
someone who you're not to please others.
3. 3
Spend some time alone. It's normal nowadays to be constantly bombarded with
stimuli -- whether it's on a screen or the people around us. To really get down to who
you are and what makes you different, spend some time alone. Disconnect from
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everything. What are you left with? Meditate on what matters to you.
We're constantly being told what to wear, what to eat, what to say, what to look
like, how to act, what to read, what to watch...you get it. Get alone and all of a
sudden you'll be without guidance. It'll be a strange feeling, sitting there,
thinking about what you wouldn't miss if you never had to
wear/eat/say/do/read/watch it again. Think about what aspects of your
environment are shoved onto you and which ones you openly embrace.
4. 4
Know what you want. Be very careful that you actually want to be different.
Maybe you're just in a group of friends that you don't jive with and that little voice in
your head is just being misinterpreted. What does different actually mean to you?
What do you perceive as normal? What is it about people that strikes you as "the
same?" Every person's interpretation of what "different" actual is is, well,
different. Is it how they look? Act? Talk? Dream?
5. 5
Know how you want to be different. Once you've pinpointed what "different" is
to you, how do you want to go about it? If you're in a group of friends that only eats
Swedish protein bars and wears pink on Wednesdays, how do you want to go off on
your own? Do you want to become a math mastermind or do you just want to shake
it up by wearing purple? You could be different in so many ways.

Part 2 of 3: Finding Your Uniqueness

1. 1
Note your environment. A Japanese man that shakes hands instead of bowing will
be different in his culture, but be pretty normal in the West. Reading Thoreau for fun
will be commonplace in some circles, while "normal" is Cosmopolitan in others. In
order to know how to be different, you have to take into account your environment.
Think of three words to describe yours. Now, what's the opposite of that?
Let's go back to "Mean Girls." Three words to describe that environment?
Superficial. Vain. And unsurprisingly, mean. Wanna be different from the Plastics?
You'd have to be a deep thinker, not into looks, and nice. However, being nice in
other circles is totally normal (and expected). What's your circle like?
2. 2
Observe. Take a step back from your surroundings for a moment and just observe.
How are people behaving? How do they interact with each other (friends, strangers,
cashiers, lovers)? What assumptions do they all make? How are they dressed? If you
were to walk in unexpectedly, how could you not fit into the mold?
There's definitely a spectrum of outrageousness here. Something so simple as
wearing a bright color could set you out from the crowd in a caf on a dreary
day.
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You could make small changes to your behavior -- when the cashier at the caf
asks you what you'd like, instead you could reply, "Hmm. Not sure. How was
your day?"
You could go the wrong way -- be loud, throwing things, start dancing on tables - that'd sure be different than normal public etiquette. But it'll probably get you
thrown out.

3. 3
Do what you like. Straight up, you're going to enjoy some things that are trendy
and some things that are not. That's fine! As long as you're doing what you enjoy,
you'll have a combination that's probably unique to you. Maybe you love baking,
jiujitsu, and thrift-shopping. If you enjoy it, it'll feel right.
It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks or does. Do you want to sing a song
from Jekyll & Hyde at karaoke in German? Awesome. Go for it. Do you want to
buy that Abercrombie & Fitch bag? Well, if it would make you happy, sure. Just
make sure it's not someone else telling you to do it!
4. 4
Try new things. We are naturally raised as part of a group. Therefore, we're
constantly being exposed to things that others around us have already approved.
These things are good -- they can open us up to things we're not even aware of -but it's also important to try things that are brand spankin' new to you that other
people haven't already endorsed. How else will you find out what you like and do not
like?
5. 5
Color outside the lines. From a very young age, we're sort of brainwashed to fit
into our society. We wear clothes, eat with utensils, go to school, do things to match
our gender, et cetera and so forth. It's hard to realize that this is a box you can get
out of. There are lines that you can color outside of. It just hasn't occurred to most of
us.
Think about how you would act if you were in a dinosaur costume. No one can
see your face or body and you're in a dinosaur costume. All of a sudden you
start bursting into rooms and waving your tiny arms and creeping up on people
just because you can. You could do this in real life. You just choose not to.
...Why?
6. 6
Be absurd. As if the dinosaur example wasn't enough, instead of just coloring
outside the lines, you don't even have to use your metaphorical crayons on the
metaphorical paper. If you want to go around school wearing headphones and
dancing like you're in a Selena Gomez music video, the thing is, you can . If you want
to wear a hat shaped like the state of Texas and stand outside of Wal-Mart all night
long, if you can find one, you can . (Doesn't mean you should, but you definitely
could.)
Some people are going to severely frown on the dinosaur costumes, the public
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dancing, and the weird-shaped hats. Know that you if do want to start pressing
the limits and toeing the line, you'll most likely experience opposition. If you can
handle the heat, go for it. But know that lots of people frown on what's
"abnormal."

Part 3 of 3: Putting It into Action

1. 1
Shake hands with your enemies. This is a way to say act differently toward
people than they expect. In a good way, of course! And see where it gets you -- who
knows, the next time you have to deal with a cop, shake his hand, ask him about
himself, and see if you get out of that ticket! You very well may.
One way to be certainly be different is to be friendly to everyone. How many
people do you know that are friendly to literally everyone? Probably not many.
It's hard work! We all end up judging those around us and gravitating toward
certain types of people. Instead, be friendly toward those you may not feel
inclined to be friendly toward. You'll be different and learn a lot!
2. 2
Dress for yourself. It's really easy to get caught up in what society tells us looks
good and is attractive. While it's impossible to completely avoid that (without making
the clothes yourself), use fashion like a cafeteria -- take what you want and leave the
rest. Do you like a certain trend? Great. Would you rather be sporting a pair of rain
boots from 1972 than a pair of Uggs? Awesome -- maybe your mom has some in her
closet.
3. 3
Don't get caught up in games. It's hard to come up with a few examples that
everyone does. You could say, for example, "listen to unpopular music," but there are
loads of people that do that. However, one thing that seems to be a pretty normal
characteristic across the board is drama. We love it. If you want to be different, avoid
it! Don't let it be a part of your life. And definitely don't start it!
Because of how interacting with people works, we all end up playing games a lot.
A friend asks us if we're mad and we say no to keep things calm, even though
we are. We do things to get attention, we lead people on, we employ tactics to
get what we want, even if they're not the nicest. If you can recognize those
urges, try to resist them. Being honest and genuine is a characteristic to be
proud of and is more unique than it should be.
4. 4
Say what everyone else is thinking. One of the games people play is not saying
what we mean. We're afraid of standing out, making noise, hurting someone's
feelings, or just getting embarrassed. There will be times when an entire room is
thinking something, but no one says it. The term "elephant in the room" exists for a
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reason! Be that person!

Most people are caught up in what they look like or the impression they give off
to truly do what they really want. They're too wrapped up in thinking about
others and not being themselves to really operate on a genuine level. If you
catch yourself not doing something because others are present, do it anyway!
(Within the law, of course!)
5. 5
Don't bother trying to impress. If you haven't noticed, there's a pattern here of
how others' opinions shouldn't really matter. Since most people are concerned with
impressing others and how they're perceived, try not to do it. It's often when we're
not trying to impress that we do the most impressing!
You know how they say love will come to you when you stop looking for it? It's
sort of like that. Instead of presenting an image to the world, just present you.
It's so much better and so much more unique.
6. 6
Know the world works in opposites. Nothing is really as it seems. So many
people are trying to be different it results in them all being the same! Being quiet may
mean that when you talk, people hear you louder. When you're not trying to attract
that boy or girl, they become attracted to you. So trying to be different may not get
you anywhere.
Dressing in a squirrel suit (or a dinosaur outfit) and walking into a bar, for
example, isn't necessarily different. In a certain way it's saying, "Look at me!"
just the same as a short skirt and high heels are. So the next time you're trying
to be different, think about what you're actually doing. Is it the opposite?
7. 7
Know you'll bump heads. Society isn't super good at accepting what isn't trendy.
People are praised for being fashionable and pretty -- few are praised for expanding
our limits and coloring outside the lines. Those people may not welcome you with
open arms. And that's fine! You don't need 'em. But you do need to know it's gonna
happen. That way you'll be prepared for when it does.
Aristotle said, To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.[1] This is
one thing he nailed. Criticism is going to happen if you step outside of the box at
all. Think of it as a good thing! By getting criticism, you're doing something.
You're getting noticed. You're exposing people to other things. Excellent! You're
different.

Tips
Remember that self-discovery is an ongoing process. The person you are at 15 is not
who you will be at 22, or 49, or 97! Our needs and interests change as we grow
older. Things which were important to us then, sometimes don't seem to matter

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anymore. Wisdom replaces petty ambitions as we learn to grow from ourselves.

Be very open-minded, or at least try to be. Learn to see the world from different
perspectives (and not necessarily just human perspectives, either). Don't be afraid of
those who challenge your preconceptions and values.
Try to be at peace with yourself. Being surprised if people dislike your weirdness is
just oblivious stupidity on your part. If you are not willing to endure some odd glances
or comments, you will have no choice but to keep your blossoming strangeness to
yourself.
Do what you like and don't think about what people will say.
Don't act superior to those who are not different. Many of them truly like the styles
they wear and the TV shows they watch. Remember, popular things are popular for a
reason. Don't dismiss them, as you may truly love them. You could be astonished by
"The O.C."'s wit, or fall in love with The Plain White T's.

Warnings
Don't label yourself. Just because you feel that you are a "gangsta" doesn't mean that
you can't love ballet.
Remember that being weird is not necessarily better than "being normal." All people
are weird in their own ways, even if they do conform to society's rules.
Being random in order to seem weird is often extremely obnoxious and is, again, very
superficial. It will not necessarily help you see the world in a new or different way.
Take note that by asking someone else how to be different, you are defeating the
purpose of what you are trying to do. Meaning if you're asking someone else how to
be different you will NOT be different because the vast majority of the time they tell
you things that they themselves would do to be different. Therefore asking someone
else how to be different is practically impossible because they will unknowingly tell
you how to be like them. It's quite a paradoxical conundrum, isn't it?

Sources and Citations

1. http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/46700-to-avoid-criticism-say-nothing-donothing-be-nothing

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