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IamintheprocessofbecomingatrulypracticingMuslimandwonderwhatissaidregardingyourlifeprevioustothefullintegrationofIslam.Iwonderwhether
anyexperiencesthatIhavehadwouldlimitmefrombecomingafollowerofthestraigtpathtoAllah?
Please forgive my explicitness...but since men and women are not allowed to engage in fullblown relationships, how do I resolve the conflict that prior to it's
integration in my life, I have had different experiences and now have read repeatedly that it is forbidden...how can I possibly reconcile the two dichotomous
notions?Irecognizethatyoudoreceivemanyquestions,pleaseacceptmysincerethanksforhavingthissite,regardlessofwhetherIreceiveananswerornot.
Maypeacebewithyou...:)
PraisebetoAllaah.
Wecannotconcealourjoyandpleasureattheintentionexpressedinyourquestionofembracingthetruereligion,Islam.Theconfusionandhesitationthatyou
describe are quite understandable, because when a person has been indulging in forbidden relationships and then wishes to move to a religion of purity and
chastity,itisnaturaltofeelthathisownnafs(desires)willdefeathimandthathewillnotbeabletodowhatIslamrequiresofhiminthewayofpurityand
chastity. But we will tell you some things here which we hope will help you to overcome any difficulty that you may be fearing and give a true picture of the
situation.
Whenapersonfollowsthetruereligion,itisexpectedtohaveafarreachingeffectonhispersonalityandbehaviour,sothatitreformshimandgiveshimafresh
startandanewdirectioninlife,completelydifferentfromthewayhewasduringhisjaahiliyyah(daysofignorancebeforehisIslam).Thisradicalchangewill
producemoralsandvaluesthatwerenottherebefore,whichwillpurifyhisheartandfillhimwithasenseofchastity,sothatthenewMuslimlookswithrevulsion
anddisgustbothathisownformerdeedsandattheignorantworldofpromiscuity,infidelity,nakednessanduttercorruptionthatexistsinthesocietyaroundhim.
Hewillcomebacktothesoundnature(fitrahthenaturalstateofman)andpurityofheartofwhichShaytaanhadrobbedhimduringthedayswhenhewasa
nonMuslim and sinner. This new direction in life is undertaken freely, by choice, and is accompanied by contentment and acceptance stemming from his total
submissiontothecommandsandprohibitionsofAllaah,WhorevealedthisreligionofIslamwithallitslaws.Wehavetwosourcesofprooftosupportwhatwesay
here,onefromtheshareeah(Islamiclaw)andonefromhistory.
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Theshari(textual)evidenceistobefoundinnumerousplacesintheQuraan,forexample(interpretationofthemeanings):
Ishewhowasdead(withoutFaithbyignoranceandbydisbelief)andWegavehimlife(byknowledgeandbyfaith)andsetforhimalight(ofBelief)wherebyhe
canwalkamongstmen,likehimwhoisinthedarkness(ofdisbelief,polytheismandhypocrisy)fromwhichhecannevercomeout?[alAnaam6:122]
AndthosewhoinvokenotanyothergodalongwithAllaah,norkillsuchlifeasAllahhasforbidden,exceptforjustcause,norcommitillegalsexualintercourse
andwhoeverdoesthisshallreceivethepunishment.
ThetormentwillbedoubledtohimontheDayofResurrection,andhewillabidethereinindisgrace,
Exceptthosewhorepentandbelieve,anddorighteousdeeds,forthose,Allaahwillchangetheirsinsintogooddeeds,andAllaahisOftForgiving,MostMerciful.
[alFurqaan25:6870]
ConcerningthephraseAllaahwillchangetheirsinsintogooddeedsthemufassireen(commentators)said:theirevildeedswillbereplacedbygooddeeds.Aliibn
AbiTalhahreportedthatIbnAbbaassaid:Thesearethebelievers,whobeforetheybelieveddidevildeeds,butAllaahwantedthemtodosomethingelse,soHe
changedtheirbaddeedsintogooddeeds
AtaaibnAbiRabaahsaid:Thisisinthisworld:amanmaybedoingevilbutthenAllaahreplacesitwithgood.SaeedibnJubayrsaid:Allaahchangedthemfrom
worshippersofidolsintoworshippersoftheMostMerciful,andchangedthemfromthosewhofighttheMuslimsintothosewhofightthe(polytheists),andfrom
thosewhomarrymushrik(polytheist)womenintothosewhomarrybelievingwomen.AlHasanalBasrisaid:Allaahchangedthemfromevildeedstogooddeeds,
fromshirk(polytheism)toikhlaas(purityoffaith),frompromiscuitytochastity,fromdisbelieftoIslam.ThisistheviewofAbuAaliyah,Qutaadahandagroupof
others.(IbnKatheer,TafseeralQuraanalAzeem).
ThehistoricalevidenceincludesanumberofstoriesofMuslimswhoenteredIslamafterhavingbeen(disbelievers),andhowtheychangedandbecamerighteous.
Amongthesestoriesisthefollowing:
There was a (Muslim) man called Marthad ibn Abi Marthad who used to smuggle Muslim prisonersofwar from Makkah (which was the territory of the
mushrikeen)toMadeenah(whichwastheterritoryoftheMuslims).TherewasalsoawomaninMakkah,calledAnaaq,whowasaprostitute.Shehadbeenafriend
ofMarthads(beforehebecameMuslim).MarthadhadpromisedtotakeoneoftheprisonersfromMakkahtoMadeenah.Hesaid:Icametotheshadeofoneofthe

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gardensofMakkahonamoonlitnight,thenAnaaqcameandsawmyshadowbythegarden.Whenshereachedme,sherecognizedmeandsaid:Marthad?Isaid,
Marthad.Shesaid:Welcome!Staywithustonight.Isaid,OAnaaq,Allaahhasforbiddenzinaa(unlawfulsexualrelations).Shecalledout,Opeopleofthecamp!
This man is stealing away your prisoners! (i.e., she wanted to take revenge on him because he refused to have unlawful relations with her, so she called the
polytheiststocomeandseizehim).Eightmenpursuedme(andhedescribedhowAllaahsavedhimfromthem).Thiseventwasthereasonfortherevelationofthe
verse(interpretationofthemeaning):Letnomanguiltyofadulteryorfornicationmarryanybutawomansimilarlyguilty,oranUnbelievernorletanybutsucha
manoranUnbelievermarrysuchawomantotheBelieverssuchathingisforbidden.[alNoor24:3YusufAlistranslation](Reportedandclassedashasanby
alTirmidhi,3101).
ThereasonfortellingthisstoryisthatitillustrateshowthismanchangedafterheembracedIslam,andrefusedtocommittheharaamdeedwithwhichhewas
tempted.AnotherstorydescribesawomanwhoembracedIslamandbecamerighteous:
AbdAllaahibnMaghfalreportedthattherewasawomanwhohadbeenaprostituteduringthedaysofignorance(beforeIslam).Amanpassedbyher,orshe
passedbyhim,andhetouchedher.Shesaid:Stopit!(Mah!Awordconnotingarebukeordenunciation).Allaahhasdoneawaywithpolytheismandhadbrought
Islam.Soheleftheraloneandwentaway.(ReportedbyalHaakim,whosaidthishadeethissaheehaccordingtotheconditionsofMuslim,althoughtheydidnot
reportit).
IfyouenterIslamandbecomeatrulypracticsingMuslim,adheringtothispureshareeah,worshippingAllaah(Godwilling)asHewantstobeworshipped,obeying
HiscommandsandheedingHisprohibitions,theninshaAllaahyouwillnotencounterorsufferthedifficultiesyourefertoinyourquestion.Moreover,youwill
havethemeansofkeepingchaste,suchasmarriage,whichwillhelpyoutorefrainfromdoingunlawfuldeedsmarriageisenjoinedbythisshareeah.Theonewho
choosesapureandcleanwayhasnoneedtoenterthemire(ofillicitrelationships).WeaskAllaahtoguideyouandmakethingseasyforyou,andtokeepevilaway
fromyou.MayAllaahblessourProphetMuhammad.
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