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The Dentist and The Wise Old Birds, together with retired police officer Ellis and his faithful friend Barney the dog, live in a small village in the Yorkshire Dales.
Despite their idyllic surroundings they all yearn for excitement. When Quinton the Pixie arrives in their midst they are intrigued, if slightly apprehensive. His mission is to find out how the human population are looking after their world and what he discovers dismays him. He is soon joined by the Fairy Queen accompanied by her band of helpers and together with the village folk they set out to save Mother Earth.
The Dentist, The Fairies and The Wise Old Birds is a charming story placing fairy tale characters in the tranquil setting of the English countryside to deliver an important message about our duty to protect the world about us.
The Dentist and The Wise Old Birds, together with retired police officer Ellis and his faithful friend Barney the dog, live in a small village in the Yorkshire Dales.
Despite their idyllic surroundings they all yearn for excitement. When Quinton the Pixie arrives in their midst they are intrigued, if slightly apprehensive. His mission is to find out how the human population are looking after their world and what he discovers dismays him. He is soon joined by the Fairy Queen accompanied by her band of helpers and together with the village folk they set out to save Mother Earth.
The Dentist, The Fairies and The Wise Old Birds is a charming story placing fairy tale characters in the tranquil setting of the English countryside to deliver an important message about our duty to protect the world about us.
The Dentist and The Wise Old Birds, together with retired police officer Ellis and his faithful friend Barney the dog, live in a small village in the Yorkshire Dales.
Despite their idyllic surroundings they all yearn for excitement. When Quinton the Pixie arrives in their midst they are intrigued, if slightly apprehensive. His mission is to find out how the human population are looking after their world and what he discovers dismays him. He is soon joined by the Fairy Queen accompanied by her band of helpers and together with the village folk they set out to save Mother Earth.
The Dentist, The Fairies and The Wise Old Birds is a charming story placing fairy tale characters in the tranquil setting of the English countryside to deliver an important message about our duty to protect the world about us.
Chris is now retired, an ex-lecturer. Having successfully taught in all phases of education including post graduate courses and consultancy work for governments and commercial enterprises both in this country and overseas, Chris is now meeting the promise made to herself long ago, to stop messing about with poetry and write a novel. Chriss subject being Psychology, with particular reference to cognitive issues and what is best described as personal interactions, has enabled the idea to be fully tested; that if the human race if not completely barmy, is at least creatively so. Her workplace party piece was sorting out dysfunctional teams brought down by trivia, scraps over car parking places being a favourite. In the course of such work Chris has had articles, self-help booklets for teachers, head teachers, careers service and various research reports. This unfortunately left its stylistic mark but after a short creative writing course at her own university of Leeds she felt equipped to begin The Dentist, The Fairies and The Wise Old Birds. When not hiding up the Yorkshire Dales writing, Chris skis in France with the French relatives and sails her ketch Galadriel of Ravenglass with every intention of bringing the boat home, but always getting waylaid by Corsica.
Christine Gibson
THE DENTIST, THE
FAIRIES AND THE WISE OLD BIRDS
Copyright Christine Gibson (2015)
The right of Christine Gibson to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers. Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages. A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library. ISBN 9781785545719 (Paperback) ISBN 9781785545726 (Hardback) www.austinmacauley.com First Published (2015) Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd. 25 Canada Square Canary Wharf London E14 5LQ
Printed and bound in Great Britain
Acknowledgments Thanks to Dave Wilson for the photograph on the front cover of this book.
We need to go back to the beginning
Not so very long ago, a dentist fed up with spending
his time looking into resistant mouths, was found unconscious in nearby woods not far from the Gill Beck pub. Given the situation most people assumed he was peacefully fast asleep on account of the drink. But he would not be roused, was obviously not dead, worse he appeared to be enjoying himself. Once discovered people wanted to know what was going on. To help, interfere, settle old scores, prevent themselves from becoming bored, or whatever else took their fancy. However, whenever large numbers of assorted well-wishers or possibly just busybodies become involved, the inevitable happens, it becomes more complicated. Teeth went unattended to, arguments and misunderstandings developed, some of which have not been settled to this day. Up here on the edge of the moor tribalism has yet to die a decent death. Once a retired CID officer and his superannuated search and rescue dog became involved it turned into a right old mess, some 1
matters remain unclear to this day. Individuals sure
their interpretation of events was right, everybody elses wrong still argue in the pub and post office about events. The usual self-interest at work, with the more in touch doubting their sanity. The good folk were sure that all could be easily explained, but Fairies, never in a month of pink Sundays. Dennis the Dentist dead, no he was just drunk and sleeping it off, and as for an itinerant Pixie turning up to offer unwelcome advice, once again never in a month of pink Sundays. Some folks, for reasons best kept to themselves, denied playing any direct part in what came to be known as The Right Old Carry-On. Others wildly exaggerated both events and their part in them. While some poor souls to this very day remain in the realms of the bewildered. Matters became tangled. It is easy to be wise after an event, however misguided it might be. Should anybody be interested, what follows is the best explanation presently available.
Ellis and Barney
Slowly dawn light spread over the stone flagged
floor, covering Ellis and his dog Barney, who was as usual an exemplary, exceptionally warm and peaceful sleep mate. They were dead to the world on the kitchen floor. Barney snored softly, Ellis loudly but with less musicality. Usually, they became conscious about dawn when the light and breakfast smells from next door engulfed Barney. It took much longer to rouse Ellis, but last night troubled dreams disturbed him. When Barney sneezed Ellis woke up, tried to move his cramped arm but failed. It was comforting, warm and peaceful lying next to Barney; reluctant to move, being comfortable to a fault, Ellis drifted back into sleep. Barney groaned, he was feeling hungry but disturbing his sleeping companion of many years was unthinkable. The previous night, Ellis, without Barney, had walked across to the pub. He went every night just for a couple of pints, but mainly for the company of friends, one of whom was the Dentist. This could not unfortunately be part of Barneys routine 3
because he was over fond of other peoples beer. It
had tried Elliss affection for him on too many occasions. Barney, a Springer Spaniel, was a heavy dog to carry home after he had been beer testing. The pub was only just opposite Elliss cottage but it felt like a serious assault on an alp trying to carry Barney home. After having to fetch the wheelbarrow a time or two as transport, Ellis gave up. Being a dog taxi was not part of his retirement plans, so from then on Ellis went to the pub while Barney stayed at home trying to work out why he was excluded and fondly remembering the beer. It was not just the beer. No ice cream van was safe. Barney, after clearing the garden gate, would shuffle up to the ice cream van and wait, sure in the certain knowledge that somebody would buy him an ice cream cone. With Barneys special skills needing to be kept in check, he found himself at home most evenings watching and waiting for Elliss return. Barney, by now, quite an elderly, distinguished, retired search and rescue dog, was perfectly content, it gave him time to think and remember. Barney moved again and licked Ellis, both finally woke up. Gradually Ellis remembered surfacing earlier to a ringing sound, being reasonably sure that it was not in his head, wondered what was going on. Usually the old red phone box opposite his cottage remained silent. It looked decorative enough but now served very little purpose. Mobiles rule the day. A group of villagers 4
had tried to adopt the telephone box, but were
foiled. The telephone company were having none of it. However, the deciding snag, which led to complete breakdown and failure was due to a dispute over potting compost. Another unexpected consequence getting in the way brought on by the belief that anyone born south of Sheffield was not to be trusted. And as Mrs Bickersdyke, self-styled postmistress, all too fully explained, why should an incomer be allowed to chair the telephone box committee? There existed absolute belief that only folks whose families had been here for centuries understood how to do things properly. This surfaced, came into action each time something threatening came over the horizon. However, if there had been any chance of the telephone box being removed the whole village would have been up in arms, and that would not have been a pretty sight. After prolonged consideration, a slice of toast and marmalade donated by Mrs Bickersdyke, Ellis attempted to sort himself out. The ringing was not in his head, or at least not yet. If the telephone had indeed rung the previous night, it begged the question why. Ellis was approaching the always worried phase of not getting any younger, which realization only added to his already overwrought mind. He had begun to worry, when earlier in his life it would have passed by, he would not give it a second thought. Elliss worrying in turn caused disturbance in Barney. Transference of feelings between this particular man and dog was almost 5
complete. They depended upon each other for
mutual comfort. Which others, less blessed could find either alarming or endearing. At least Ellis managed to convince himself the ringing was external. He had always been careful, tended to check and double check everything, which up to a point had been useful in his former CID profession. Ellis needed to acquire a certain level of assertiveness and purpose to survive, but however hard he tried to be in command of himself and possibly others, was destined to remain one of the meek, who no matter what happened, would never inherit the earth. Giving too much consideration to life and its irritations had become an unfortunate hobby, an integral part of Ellis and Barneys life together. However, mysteries were another matter altogether which unsettled the professional part of Ellis. Who, he wondered, who or what could be ringing an ancient red phone box in the middle of the night. They may be trying to find out if the coast was clear to steal it, sending a message to a gang of international art thieves, or perhaps it was just a wrong number. Once or twice Ellis had looked out of the window while it was still ringing. Nobody was in sight. Nobody was in the phone box, nobody outside it, or in the trees next to it, and no car was parked nearby. However, he knew that the phone boxs number was very close to that of the Dentist. Ellis toyed with the idea that anybody trying to ring a dentist in the middle of the night must be mad. 6
Dentists were elusive enough creatures in the
daylight, why should anybody try to ring one at night, only madness could explain that possibility. Being keen to unravel the mystery of the late night phone ringing, Ellis did some serious pondering. He devised a plan, decided to investigate the matter, to write down the dates and times when the telephone rang and find out if there was a pattern. Having been trained in his ex- police career to look for patterns, this was second nature to him. Perhaps there really was somebody hiding in the trees waiting to pick up the phone, or waiting in a car. It needed a thorough investigation. The following night Ellis sat in the window seat, which faced the pub and telephone box, hidden behind the curtains, and with the lights off, he could watch in secrecy. Nothing happened. Each night he repeated the procedure. A week passed by until, on the following Wednesday night, when he was just about to give up, after returning from the pub, the telephone rang four times and then stopped. Watching closely Ellis saw the shadow of a figure leave the side entrance to the pub and walk towards the road beyond the telephone box, into the trees. This person seemed to leave behind them a slight green glow and, if he had been able to hear it, a gurgle of giggling. Somebody appeared to be illegally at the beer. Ellis, with difficulty managed to contain himself. He wanted to rush out and find out what was going on, to tackle the figure and bring it down. Fortunately he remembered, just in time, that the 7
last opportunity he had to tackle somebody ended in
tears and hospital for both him and his innocent victim. So Ellis stayed put, satisfied at least that he was right all along, the ringing was not in his head. Ellis sat for a while longer, his mind running here and there over supposed and actual wrongs, until tired out with old age, thinking, and the cold began to feel sleepy. Getting up from the window seat he tripped over Barney, who was on the receiving end of the last dregs of Elliss tea. Ellis passed out accurately but incapable, on the red rug on the stone flagged floor. Barney was not amused but it followed a familiar pattern, and Barney thrived on familiarity. So, as usual, he relaxed at the side of his master providing a warm, hairy blanket for the night. All was well, all was familiar, they were set fine for a good nights sleep together, old man and Springer Spaniel. It started to become light. The dawn crept across the rug on which Barney and Ellis lay peacefully snoring as usual. The light reached out to the rug and slowly began to colour in the red. Barney shifted his position, sighed deeply, and leaned even more heavily on the collapsed Ellis who remained still. As the dogs weight began as usual to cramp his arm Ellis began to stir, gradually returning to the land of the living. Having gained some semblance of consciousness, although not necessarily as most folks would recognize it. Open eyes being the only sign of life not unique to Ellis, it could well apply to many others we meet every day. Elliss former work had 8
spanned all hours and happily, still allowed him to
appear conscious while remaining close inside himself, not giving out any indication of being awake while still absorbing everything which was going on. At one time he even learned to sleep standing up, just like a horse, quite a skill and considerable help in his professional duties. Ellis collected himself, realized he was at home, because Barney never stayed overnight at other peoples houses, he always refused to stop anywhere except with Ellis in the cottage. The chip in the stone flag beneath his nose seemed familiar. Barney was asleep, so he was indeed at home. As always Barneys comforting warmth tempted Ellis to stay put, but the feeling that all was not well would not go away. He felt very uneasy, things were not quite as they should be. He began to feel twitchy, just as he had done, in the past, at the start of a difficult job. After a few attempts to move Barney, he rolled the dog off the rug onto the floor. Barney grumbled, Ellis rolled over to the opposite rug side onto his knees and pulled himself upright by clinging to the legs of the sturdy kitchen table, it needed to be. Once upright, Ellis moved over to the cracked mirror propped up on a shelf above the kitchen sink and stared at himself for some time. Making sure he was still all there being the most important first job of the day. Who knows what could happen in the night if you were not too careful?