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Enough PhDs, thank you


PERVEZ HOODBHOY UPDATED NOV 21, 2015 05:37PM

When Freeman Dyson suggested we have lunch together at


the Princeton University cafeteria on my next visit, I
almost fell off my chair. To be invited by this legendary
physicist, now 90-plus but sharp as ever, meant more than
a banquet especially arranged for me by the Queen of
England. Countless kings, queens, and generals have come
and gone but only a tiny number of visionaries, Dyson
included, actually make history.
Overwhelmed, I was about to blurt thank you, Dr Dyson
but stopped in time. Else this would have violated an
unstated protocol. We theoretical physicists address
colleagues by their first name. And so I simply thanked
him as Freeman. This avoided a still more serious error.
Freeman Dyson does not have a PhD and has never sought
or needed one.
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Three books and biographies have been written on this


PhD-less scientific genius. But, were he to apply to a
Pakistani university, at best he might become an assistant
professor. I thought of this while suffering through some
lectures last week at an international physics conference in
Islamabad.

Troops wont be
Sadly, the presentations by most Pakistani PhDs were

deployed outside
region: ISPR

uninteresting, others were wrong. One was even laughably


wrong. Probably the worst was by a professor who was not
just a doctor but a professor doctor. This terrible
pomposity, borrowed from some German tradition, is now
routinely augmented with distinguished professor,
national professor and what-not. Like cartoon generals
who have won no wars but have medals stuck to oversized
chests, Pakistan now has legions of highly paid ignoramus
cartoon professors.

Pakistan now has legions of highly paid


ignoramus cartoon professors.
But wait, am I not being terribly unfair? Our professors are
publishing huge numbers of research papers these days,
almost 10 times more than a decade ago. Some produce as
many as 40-60 every year (Dysons lifetime total is a mere
50). These appear in so-called international journals with
high-impact factors, are well-cited, and seemingly fulfil
all requirements of high quality. The authors rake in cash
prizes, national awards, and the Higher Education
Commission (HEC) screams about the post-2002

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Commission (HEC) screams about the post-2002


revolution at every opportunity.
But the truth forlornly begs to be heard: there is no actual
research behind most of these so-called research papers.
The internet has placed at an authors fingertip vast
amounts of literature from which to freely cut and paste,
invent data, and plagiarise ideas. Although software
checks like Turn-It-In exist, they are next to useless. True,
the ideal journal referee is supposed to be a know-all. But
in fact he is too hard-pressed to check everything, or may
even be complicit. Publishing in fly-by-night journals, or
arranging for your paper to be cited, is now a finely
developed art form.
Crime in Pakistani academia has overtaken even the
legendary bribery of our police departments or the easy
corruption of income tax authorities. But dealing with
academic heist, now organised and systematised, wont be
easy. Heres why.
First, knowledge is increasingly specialised and to detect
cheating isnt easy. A molecular biologist might not fairly
judge the work of an ethologist, or a plasma physicist that
of a string theorist. In principle any academic community
must police itself rather than be policed from outside. But
the small number of genuine academics in Pakistan means
that there are precious few policemen.
Second, a thoughtless government policy that pays by the
number of research papers and PhDs produced allows
cheats to get rich. Unable to tell good from bad, the
Pakistan Council for Science and Technology actively
encourages our professors to pillage public property.

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encourages our professors to pillage public property.


The same dynamics applies to PhD production. The basic
subject knowledge of PhD candidates is rarely tested and, if
ever, only perfunctorily. Although the referees of a
candidates thesis are supposed to be impartial, they are
often chosen by a supervisor for being cooperative. Of
course, the reports can be appropriately doctored when
necessary.
Most PhD supervisors never get caught while doctoring.
But if by rare chance someone does, he gets little more
than a tap on the wrist. A colleague, a former professor of
biology at Quaid-i-Azam University, then also the dean,
was caught red-handed while faking referee reports for his
PhD students. He admitted guilt but was not terminated
and retained all retirement benefits. The administration
and other colleagues shrugged off the incident; why be
strict to one of your own kind? The man moved on to
become dean at another university, and then emerged yet
again as vice chancellor at still another university.
This kindness has put the cancer of corruption into
metastasis. Arresting further growth will require a harsh
chemotherapy regime. As the very first step, rewarding
authors of research papers with cash should be stopped.
PCST, as well as other government organisations
deliberately fuelling academic corruption, should be closed
down and their directors charge-sheeted.
Transparency should be non-negotiable. While it cannot
end abuse, it can discourage. So, before the author of a
research paper gets any kind of credit, such as for
promotion, he must give a presentation that anyone can

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promotion, he must give a presentation that anyone can


freely attend. This should be video-recorded and archived
for open access on HECs website. Whereas HECs present
chairman privately agreed to my suggestion nearly two
years ago, and then publicly on television a year later, I see
no signs of implementation.
Still more radical therapy may be needed. As with a driving
licence, all PhD degrees (including my own) should be derecognised every 10 years, and re-recognised only after
passing a literacy test in that particular discipline.
Administered by some trustable overseas organisation, the
written test should be at the level of an undergraduate
examination equivalent to that taken by students after
their first year of studies at a good foreign university. Will
this reduce our current PhD population by 50 per cent?
Eighty per cent?
No country becomes wealthy by printing a mountain of
paper currency. And no university system becomes better
by dishing out substandard PhD degrees, or by accepting
vacuous research papers as valid. Instead, the way forward
lies in adhering to strict ethical standards, cultivating
excellence, rejecting mediocrity, and nurturing a spirit of
inquiry and intellectual excitement.
The writer teaches physics in Lahore and Islamabad.
Published in Dawn, November 21st, 2015

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The views expressed by this writer and commenters below do not necessarily reflect the views and
policies of the Dawn Media Group.

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