THEATRE III/IV

Dress Code Skit

9/1/15
Writer: Mr. Krecklow
Director: Natalie
Presenters: Kyle & Abby
Special Guest: Chris
Freshmen: Manny, Alex, Alexis, Taylor, & Noah
Paparazzi: Kaylyn, Frank, Dylan, Chantelle, & Sarah
Dress Code Violations:
Manny: headphones, ripped jeans, offensive shirt w/cleavage
Alex: Grillz
Alexis: Sheer top, leggings + short shorts
Taylor: Short dress/Spaghetti straps, midrift
Noah: Muscle shirt, sagging, hat

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(PAPARAZZI enter from SL, flashing cameras. KYLE and ABBY

enter SR.)
KYLE: And were back! Welcome to Juan Seguin High Schools
Freshmen Orientation: the new students just keep coming!
Good thing for those photographers the entrance is marked
BYOT Green!
(PAPARAZZI stop, check cameras, talk silently, etc.)
ABBY: Thats right, Kyle! The buzz down here at Red Carpet
Central has been fashion, fashion, fashion! So many gorgeous
hits and-KYLE (INTERRUPTING)--and a few unfortunate misses, too,
Abby.
ABBY: Thats right, Kyle!
KYLE: Ive heard some students choices in apparel have
actually gotten them sent to the principal. Is that true, Abby?
ABBY: Thats right, Kyle! Here at Seguin Nation we take pride
in our school by taking pride in our appearance! That includes
grooming, too!
KYLE: Wow!
(CHRIS enters; PAPARAZZI take photos as he poses.)
KYLE: And look whos coming down the red carpet now: its
our old friend and fashion guru, Chris!
ABBY: Hi Chris!
(KYLE and ABBY wave; CHRIS notices.)
ABBY: Come over here, Chris!
(CHRIS denies.)
ABBY: Oh, Come on Chris, please?
KYLE: Yeah, come on!
(CHRIS pretends to deny, then crosses to podium)
CHRIS: Hello, Kyle. Hi Abby: girl, you look fantastic!
ABBY: Well, thank you, Chris!
CHRIS: Stunning! Your Cougar couture is cou-tight!
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KYLE: What about me Chris? Do you like my new suit?

CHRIS: Maybe: is it supposed to look like you got that fabric
off an old couch?
ABBY: (LAUGHING) Oh, Chris, you are so bad!
CHRIS: Oh, girl: so bad its fabulous. Right, Kyle?
KYLE: (DRYLY)Thats right, Chris
ABBY: Look at your ensemble! Theres no way you are within
dress code guidelines.
CHRIS: Oh, but I am! Just because you have to follow the
code, doesnt mean you cant express yourself! Besides, I got
prior approval from Mr. Nix.
KYLE: Really?
CHRIS: Oh yeah: we fist-bumped and everything!
ABBY: Oh look, one of the freshmen is coming down the red
carpet
(Enter NOAH, working it for cameras; PAPARAZZI ignore him.)
ABBY: (DISMAYED)--ooh, look at that sag!
KYLE: And the paparazzi are not impressed!
CHRIS: Thats right, Kyle. Students must wear pants and
shorts properly at the waist: he looks like his pants are handme-downs from a much shorter cousin!
ABBY: And what about that muscle shirt!
KYLE: The code says that boys shirts must cover the entire
crown of the shoulder.
CHRIS: What about that hat? This aint no basketball game:
take it off!
KYLE: No hats are allowed for males or females at any time.
(PAPARAZZI boo; NOAH walks off, dejected.)
ABBY: Heres another one!
(ENTER Alexis, strutting. PAPARAZZI prepare to shoot, but
turn away.)
ALEXIS: (AT PAPARAZZI) Whats your problem?
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KYLE: Whats wrong with this look?

ABBY: Are you kidding? Her top is see-through!
CHRIS: See-through clothes are okay as long as you wear
something approved underneath it; I was thinking its those
bottoms.
ABBY: Of course! Form-fitting garments like leggings must be
worn with something over the top of them!
ALEXIS: Really? Hold on a sec!
(ALEXIS runs behind partition; PRESENTERS look puzzled;
ALEXIS returns wearing short shorts)
KYLE: Those shorts arent longer than the tip of your longest
finger: you cant fix a dress code violation by putting another
banned item over the top of it!
(PAPARAZZI Boo; ALEXIS stomps off.)
ABBY: Thats true for anything: short skirts, sheer pants, even
ripped jeans.
(MANNY enters, starts flexing; PAPARAZZI boo until next line
starts.)
KYLE: Oh, wow
CHRIS: Where shall I begin?
ABBY: Anywhere, just get him out of here!
CHRIS: Okay: the ripped jeans are out
KYLE: --So are obscene or offensive decorations: like the
cigarette-CHRIS: Cleavage is certainly not allowedfor either gender
and headphones at school? Are you kidding me?
(PAPARAZZI move to kick him out, MANNY runs away.)
KYLE: Well, it cant get any worse than that.
ABBY: Dont be so sure
(TAYLOR enters being TAYLOR; PAPARAZZI are disgusted.)
CHRIS: Oh..mygoodness, Im speechless
(TAYLOR runs off)
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KYLE: (MUMBLED) Never thought that would happen.

CHRIS: What did you say?!
ABBY: Boys, come on, the students are counting on us! Now
although it might be obvious to some of uswhat is wrong
with her outfit?
KYLE: Spaghetti straps!
ABBY: Yes, all straps must be over two inches in length.
KYLE: Tube tops are out too, but strapless dresses are okay if
worn with a jacket.
ABBY: What else?
CHRIS: Her belly!
ABBY: Thats true! Midriffs are banned, and tops must touch
the waist of the bottoms at all times.
KYLE: What about the length of her dress! Obscene!
ABBY: Another point: skirts and dresses must be at least as
long as half the distance between the fingertips and the
knees when the arm is fully extended.
KYLE: Were there others? I dont remember.
CHRIS: Im trying to forget!
ABBY: Remember, if youre in doubt, ask an administrator in
advance: they always have the final say.
KYLE: Good point, Abby. Is that everyone?
(ALEX enters normally; the PAPARAZZI start shooting.)
ABBY: Looks like theres one more!
KYLE: Hey, hes following the code!
CHRIS: Finally!
(ALEX looks at the audience, flashes his grillz; loud boos
from PAPARAZZI as they chase him off.)
ABBY: Oh yeah, grills, gages, and some piercings are out too.
KYLE: Thats right, Abby!
CHRIS: Wow, what a show!

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KYLE: Thanks to the APs, the theatre department, and most of

all, the freshmen class!
ABBY: On behalf of myself and the whole Theatre III/IV class.
Have a great school year.
ALL: Go Cougars!

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