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The 5th and the 11th Love Given and Love Received
I was reading this article recently about the astrology of relationships, and it
brought up the notion of the 5th house representing how we give love, and the
11th representing how we receive it
Astrologically this seems makes sense when you look at derivative houses
If we want to explore our expectations of how our partners will express their
love to us, we would then take the Dsc (our partner), and turn it around so that
it is our Asc. If the 5th house is supposed to represent the giving of love then
we would look at the new 5th house to see how our partner would, in theory,
be expressing love to us. As it happens, the 5th house form the 7th house is
always our natal 11th house. So the symbolic 5th house of our partner is
represented via the characteristics of our 11th house That is, our natal 11th
house reveals a lot about the type of attention we want to receive in an ideal
romance, and what types of expectations we have of our partner during
courtship. The 11th also represents what is understood as loving behavior and
appreciation in general, and how it is perceived
The 5th house seems to represent what characteristics we are attracted to,
who inspires our heartfelt feelings of adoration, who impresses and fascinates
us the most, and how we in turn express these special feelings that we have
for that person when someone acts like your 5th house they inspire your
love
While the 11th house seems to represent what types of behaviors and
situations that make us feel the most loved and appreciated by another, what
makes us most grateful for anothers attention and caring, our fantasies of
how love should be given, and who falls in love with us when someone acts
like your 11th house the make you feel loved
Another way to think about it is that the 5th house cusp represents the show
and the performance, or in other words, our self-expression when we are
trying to impress somebody while the 11th house cusp represents the
observation of our performance, our audience, and the response we most
hope to achieve from that one we are trying to impress.
When you look at the signs Leo and Aquarius, again, you can see how this
dynamic works. Leo is all about passionate self-expression, and experience,

while Aquarius is about objectivity and observation. Leo represents the star
who puts on a display looking for love and appreciation from those people in
the world, with the capacity to appreciate them the most. Aquarius represents
the audience, the rest of humanity, and the objective observers who receive
this performance. Aquarians are the people watchers of the zodiac (theres a
reason why they say this sign rules astrology!). Of course, some audience
members will love what Leo has to offer and others will not. Going back to
houses, the symbolism of the 11th house tends to represent the type of
response we want the most from the audience to our 5th house selfexpression. When people act towards us in a way reminiscent of our natal
11th house, they make us feel special and validated. The 11th house
symbolizes our ideals concerning how we would like to be loved, and what
types of treatment feel loving to us.
When I looked at my own chart I started to see how this made sense.
LOVE GIVEN
My 5th house cusp is Aries ruled by Mars in Leo. And it is certainly true that
fiery bold people really impress me. The childlike innocence and generous
nature of these two signs truly has the ability to tug at my heartstrings, and
their courage thrills and excites me. Also, I have noticed that when I am in
love or even just really impressed with somebody, I am more inclined to act
courageously on their behalf as a token of my affection. This is so, even
though in general terms I am a Capricorn with Moon in Cancer, and am
actually quite shy and cautious. The initial stages of flirting and courtship tend
to make want to be more bold and confronting. By stepping out of my comfort
zone in this way, I am showing that you inspire me, and are worth the extra
effort because of your special place in my heart If I love you, I will do daring
things for you that Id usually shy away from, because you are THAT important
to me
LOVE RECEIVED
My 11th house cusp is Libra, ruled by Venus in Sagittarius, with Pluto in Libra
and Uranus in Scorpio falling into this house. And, yes, I have noticed that
when a guy is courteous and considerate (Libra) with me, and yet also direct
and humorous (Sagittarius) it really makes me feel cared for. I also love it
when a guy is able to introduce me to new people and experiences, show me
around, and treats me like a good friend. Like he accepts me for how I am,
not matter how quirky and unusual I may be (I mean Im into astrology, the
paranormal, and all kinds of other new age things, and yes I do feel a little

quirky at times). I want someone who is cool with me being the unique
individual that I am and in fact actually prefers me that way. It makes me feel
really appreciated. Im pretty sure that this part comes form Uranus in the
11th.
Then theres Pluto in the 11th , and I must admit that when someone is very
curious about me and honestly tries to compassionately (Pluto is sextile
Neptune) understand me at a deeper, more psychological level, I really do
take it as a compliment and am touched. That is, as long as they are patient
and allow me to reveal myself as Im ready. I also just drink it up when a guy is
able to demonstrate that he has passionate and intense feelings toward me,
and is even a little obsessed not in a psycho kind of way! I just like to
know that he feels strongly for me, and really wants to get in close and know
me intimately thats Pluto for ya.
Youll probably notice that the discussion of my 11th house is a little longer
then the one on my 5th house, and thats probably because my 5th house in
empty, except for the south node, while the 11th house contains two planets
and the north node. Placements in the 5th house seem to highlight a
preoccupation with people whom you adore, and your own personal self
expression, and placements in the 11th seem to place more of an emphasis
on attaining a sense of belonging, and receiving the specific type of attention
that you desire.
Below is an excerpt from an essay by a professional astrologer named
Eleanor Buckwalter, and parts of it touch on some of the themes Ive been
getting at
***
Our intimate relationships are associated with the 4th, 5th and 8th houses (in
my opinion the 7th too). Eleventh house associates are friends with whom we
have relationships that are cooler and more objective. With these people,
there is sympathy, understanding and good feeling --fellowship. With little or
no emotional involvement, there is less ego and co-dependency. Our social
circle is a network of unrelated individuals whom we encounter beyond the
level of our inward struggles and the security and entanglement issues of
family and marriage. It is often a blessed respite to spend time hanging out
in the 11th house! With the 5th house of love, romance, passion and risk,
there is a lot of ego. Our lover, or child, better be and behave the way we
want! Our 11th house friends can be just the way they are and we can easily
tolerate their opinions, quirks and foibles. The 5th house is the star of the
show, while the 11th house is the whole production company with all the

individual artists and technicians contributing their creative talents to the

group, thus making the artistic performance possible. That is synergy; the
whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
The 11th house is where we experience belonging and being loved. The 5th
house is where and how we give love. From the 11th, we see how we receive
love, and the feeling of being loved by others. It shows the characteristic
qualities of attitude and behavior that we tend to interpret or misinterpret as
loving. If poorly aspected planets such as Mars or Saturn tenant the l11th, our
ideas of loving behavior may be dysfunctional. Anger, cruelty, harshness and
rigidity may feel like love.
The different signs on the 11th house cusp give a general indication about
what an individual may consider loving. Self-assertive openness is loving to
Aries; comfort and sensuality does it for Taurus; talking and listening is love for
Gemini. A sentimental card, a box of chocolates, being introduced to his family
lets Cancer know you care. Leo believes you love him if you are having a lot
of fun together. Virgo feels loved when you help her clean her garage and
take her car in for service. Being fair, being nice and looking good does the
trick for Libra; get intense and take a chance with Scorpio and hell think you
are hot for him. Appreciate the wisdom of Sagittarius and let her teach you
how to show your loving feelings. Be clear, punctual and above all, show
respect to make Capricorn feel cared for; Aquarius knows you love her when
you give her space, freedom and delight her with surprise encounters. A little
candlelight, music and a really good bottle (or two) of wine will make Pisces
feel cherished.
When we give others what they can receive, in ways they can accept, we
make them feel loved by being demonstrative in accordance with their charts
(their 11th house cusps as well as their Moon signs).
***
In conclusion, the 5th house shows whom you adore and how you adore
them, while the 11th house shows the type of attention you are looking for
from those who love you. If you were to peek at your partners 5th house you
would likely see through Synastry the reasons they initially fell in love with
you. And if you were to peek at their 11th house, you would see what type of
attention they desire from you the most and Synastry may also show how
you are able to fulfill them on this level. If your planets influence someones
5th house you become like a star to them, and you inspire their passionate
interest. However, If your planets influence someones 11th house then you

become like the appreciative audience to their own performance and have
what it takes to make them feel special and appreciated.
Synastry example: Your Moon in someones 5th house causes them to adore
the vulnerable child in you, but, in turn, your Mercury sextile their 11th house
ruler means that things you say help them to feel appreciated.
Okay people, please come on and let me know if this info fits for you in your
own life and relationships? And give examples if you have any, Id love to hear
from you all!

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IDENTIFYING YOUR ROMANTIC TYPE AND RELATIONSHIP

PRIORITIES
For identifying someones romantic type and relationship style when looking at
the natal chart first I check the OBVIOUS things (Note: Later Ill go on to
discuss what Ive observed as the hidden indicators of attraction) This Starts
with the three houses most strongly associated with relationships in
astrology The 5th, 7th , and 8th houses. The signs of the cusps of these
houses, the condition of the house rulers by sign, house, and aspect, and any
planets located within these houses, describe the characteristics of our
romantic type. Now, within three houses, you can pull out a lot of information,
but usually the partners people choose will fit all three of these houses in
various different ways. Through their personality temperament, their private
interests, their relationship tendencies, and even their family background and
career choices. These three houses are able to give quite a detailed picture of
the type of partner well end up with. These houses also describe what
qualities we look for as part of the relationship. Do we like to keep things
light and humorous in a certain area? Or do have a serious lets get down to
business attitude? Or a sentimental nurturing tone? Each of these houses
represents a different area of the relationship, and has its own particular
focus The signs and planets associated with each of these houses also
reveal our attitude towards that area of the relationship

From an astrological perspective, the 5th house is the

ROMANCE/COURTSHIP period of the relationship, where we fall in love, and
observe how special and unique the other person is.
The 7th house is the MARRIAGE/COMMITMENT period of the relationship,
where we relate as individuals, exchange appreciation, and make
agreements
And the 8th house is the CONSUMATION/MERGING OF RESCOURCES
period of the relationship, where after the being united as one officially, we
become interdependent on each other through the sharing of ourselves and
our stuff.
Heres a more detailed guide for examining the symbolism of THE THREE
RELATIONSHIP HOUSES
THE 5TH HOUSE
The 5th house cusp and ruler, plus planets in the 5th Show who is
romantically exciting to you, who impresses you, and who is the Apple of our
Eye. This house is the one in charge of romantic sparks, infatuation,
adoration, and the epic saga of your personal love story With a certain
special someone.
THE 7TH HOUSE
The 7th house cusp and ruler, plus planets in the 7th houseShow who gives
you feelings of sweet affection, warmth, established acceptance, and
completion. As if they offer you what you need in a partner. The 7th house
is not always exciting like the 5th house, rather it represents who you LIKE,
and want relate to as a partner and friend in your daily existence.
THE 8TH HOUSE
And last but not least, the 8th house cusp and ruler, plus planets in the 8th
Show who attracts you in an intriguing, magnetic type of way Here you want
to figure the other person out, and merge with them in the most deep, intimate
way possible. This house is where we share ourselves, and what we have to
offer, with another physically, emotionally, and financially to the point where
our lives are inextricably intertwined.

(Note: for all of these houses also take into account the sign next along after
the cusp sign, if a large part of that sign falls into the 5th, 7th or 8th house.)
THE HIDDEN INDICATORS OF ATTRACTION
After looking the obvious indicators of romantic attraction, as is shown directly
by the 5th ,7th and 8th houses, Ill start examining the HIDDEN INDICATORS
OF ATTACTION in the persons chart
Our SECONDARY 5th, 7th and 8th house cusps
Just as we all have the PRIMARY 5th , 7th and 8th house cusps in our chart,
which we all know about, there are also other houses in our chart which
function as secondary versions of these houses. A backup, if you will, that
provides extra information about our tastes in that area of life These
backup houses are called SECONDARY HOUSES, and Ive found, they can
be amazingly revealing in terms of our romantic tastes when scrutinizing the
secondary 5th, 7th and 8th house cusps and rulers
Ill continue to explain this using the Dsc as an example. But remember that
EVERY house in your chart (including the 5th and the 8th ) has another
secondary house that functions in a supplementary way regarding the theme
that house.
Heres how it works (Using the Dsc as an example)
Every sign in the zodiac is naturally linked (on a symbolic level) to a certain
house cusp in our chart Aries is linked to the 1st house, Taurus is linked to
the 2nd house, Gemini is linked to the 3rd house, Cancer is linked to the 4th
house, and so on.
So if you want to know which of the house cusps in your chart are
symbolically linked to your Dsc look at the sign of the 7th house cusp (our
PRIMARY 7th house), and then find the house in your chart that is
symbolically linked to your Dsc cusp sign. For example, if you have a Pisces
DSC look at the 12th house. In the case of a Pisces Dsc, the 12 house will
revel supplementary information about who you are attracted to, and who you
have chemistry with. Also look at planets in the 12th, the sign of house ruler,

and how this ruler is aspected. In another example, if you have an Aquarius
Dsc look at your natal 11th house for extra clues on what you like in
partnership. For a Capricorn Dsc look to the 10th house. For a Virgo Dsc look
at the 6th house. For an Aries Dsc look at the 1st house, and so on through
the zodiac.
The house symbolically linked to the DSC sign is the SECONDARY DSC and
it can function as an extension of the 7th house.. In terms of what you
attract, what type of partnership experiences you have, and what you look for
in a partner. Its like the secondary Dsc is an ECHO of the primary or
original natal 7th house. The first time an echo bounces it is the clearest
and the loudest. And this echo is shown by the house symbolically linked to
the sign on 7th house cusp
Looking at it in another way People with an Aries Dsc look for others who
energize their personality and self assertion. So when a partner places
planets in Libra or Scorpio in this persons 1st house, it will feel like natural
partnership material for them. Same thing for people with a Gemini Dsc
They look for those who will energize them in the area of communication.
So when people put planets in this persons 3rd house of communication, it
also brings to the fore issues of partnership And for people with a
Sagittarius Dsc, they look for others that they can share their beliefs with, and
explore with, both mentally and physically So when people put planets into
this persons 9th house it inspires them to want to join forces with this
person And as you can guess it continues like this on through the zodiac
using Dsc signs
FOR ANYONE STILL CONFUSED ABOUT LOCATING THE SECONDARY
DSC
Heres a list of the house cusps to look to as an extension of your DSC for
each rising sign. These house cusps are symbolically linked to the sign on
your DSC showing what other traits you are attracted to in others, apart
from just what the DSC alone shows.
Aries rising, Libra DSC The 7th House has double importance.

Taurus rising, Scorpio DSC Look to the 8th House.

Gemini rising, Sagittarius DSC Look to the 9th House
Cancer rising, Capricorn DSC Look to the 10th House
Leo rising, Aquarius DSC Look to the 11th House
Virgo rising, Pisces DSC Look to the 12th House
Libra rising, Aries DSC Look to the 1st House
Scorpio rising, Taurus DSC Look to the 2nd House
Sagittarius rising, Gemini DSC Look to the 3rd House
Capricorn rising, Cancer DSC Look to the 4th House
Aquarius rising, Leo DSC Look to the 5th House
Pisces rising, Virgo DSC Look to the 6th House
Can you see the pattern now?
Celebrity examples
Ryan Reynolds has late Virgo rising, with a Pisces Dsc. His secondary 7th
house is the 12th house. So hes attracted to Pisces and 12th house energy in
his love life. He married Blake Lively who has a stellium in early Virgo (Sun,
Mercury, Venus, Mars, and possibly the Moon) all falling into Ryans 12th
house Blakes Asc is unknown, so we can only guess as to why she was
attracted to Ryan.
Angelina Jolie has her planets falling in Brad Pitts primary 5th 7th and 8th
houses. Brad has Sagittarius rising with Gemini on the 7th house cusp, Aries
on the 5th house cusp, and Cancer on the 8th house cusp. Angelina has
Sun/Mercury in Gemini, Moon/Mars in Aries, and Venus in Cancer. From

Angelinas side, she has Capricorn on her Dsc. This matches Pitts Capricorn
Moon/Venus energy, but not his Sagittarius Sun Well, Angelinas secondary
Dsc is her 10th house cusp. She likes 10th house energy in her love life
because of her Capricorn Dsc. Angelina has Jupiter in Aries conjunct her
Mc And Brad is a Sag Asc/Sun ruled by his Jupiter also in Aries
ALL HOUSES HAVE SECONDARY HOUSE CUSPS LIKE THIS
This same pattern can be used on all your other house cusps including the 5th
and the 8th if you are interested in looking more deeply into your romantic
tastes.
MORE ON ANALYZING THE 5TH, 7TH, AND 8TH HOUSES.
By looking at the symbolism for each of the three relationship houses in your
natal chart, you should have a much clearer idea of qualities you look for, and
appreciate most, in the three relationship areas. Courtship, official partnership,
and intimacy. But although these houses are assigned a particular phase of
the relationship on a symbolic level, in terms of actual human experience, any
one of these houses could be dominant in a relationship depending on how
two people influence each others charts. Its all about how two charts interact
that determines what relationship houses have the strongest bearing on the
relationship.
So how do we tell if peoples charts activate with our relationship houses?
Partners whose natal charts reflect the characteristics of these houses will be
those who are most attractive to us. The more they reflect this back to us the
stronger the attraction will be The people who reflect, or influence, these
houses in our charts bring the THEMES of these houses vividly alive for us.
There are THREE major ways to connect with your partners chart using these
houses
1. Sign/Planet/House Matching (Symbolism Matching).
2. House Overlays.

3. Aspects to the House Cusp Rulers.

Below Ill explain all of these in more detail
1. SIGN/PLANET/ HOUSE MATCHING or SYMBOLISM MATCHING
This is when the SIGNS of the relationship house cusps, and/or the cusp
rulers, are dominant in the partners chartAlso if you have a PLANETS in
these houses, the signs that these planets rule may show up in the partners
chart. Or conversely, the planet itself my be strong in the partners chart Or
even the HOUSE related to the sign on a relationship house cusp, or the
planet in a relationship house, may show up strongly in the partners chart
Its all about a theme showing up in your partners chart that reflects the
symbolism of your relationship houses. Like if you had an Aries Dsc, your
partner could have Aries planets in their chart, Mars strongly aspected in their
chart, or a strongly emphasized 1st house in their chart
When a partners chart reflects the symbolism or your relationship houses in
this way, what it means is that they appear to be your type in terms of the
personality characteristics, and qualities they exhibit
~~~
Heres a more detailed illustration of this principle using an example A
hypothetical chart with a Taurus Asc, a Scorpio Dsc, Virgo on the 5th house,
and Sagittarius on the 8th
For instance, if you have Virgo on the 5th house cusp, ruled by Mercury in
Sagittarius, a partner with combos of Virgo and Sagittarius strong in their
charts will be romantically exciting, and impressive to you Perhaps they
have a Virgo Sun with Sagittarius rising
And if you have Scorpio on the 7th with Pluto in Scorpio also in the 7th ,
Scorpio types will win your affection, and make you feel whole. Perhaps
this Virgo partner with Sag rising also has a Scorpio Moon/Venus conjunction
in the mix

(Note that with the Dsc ruler Pluto in the 7th house, there is a Libra/Venus
theme, as well as a Scorpio theme to the partners chart)
And if you also have Sagittarius on the 8th house cusp, ruled by Jupiter in
Aquarius, free Aqua/Sag types will by like a mystery youd love to figure out,
and get inside Perhaps this Virgo partner with Sag rising has, not only their
Asc in your 8th house, but Uranus in Sagittarius conjunct the Asc, and
squaring their Virgo Sun.
~~~
The above example was meant to show how there are variety of different
ways that the symbolism in the partners chart can match the symbolism of
each of the 5th ,7th and 8th houses in yours. Using the example above of the
Scorpio Dsc with Pluto in Scorpio in the 7th house. This can manifest in a
partner that actually has some planets in Scorpio, or who has Pluto strongly
aspected in their natal chart, or who has a strong 8th house in their natal chart
(same as the Aries example). Another thing to consider is the condition of the
house ruler by sign, house and aspect So with Pluto in Scorpio in the 7th
house as the Dsc ruler, the sign Scorpio is strongly emphasized in your
attraction pattern, and the partner may also have some Libra/Venus/7th house
influences in their chart And lets just say that this Pluto in Scorpio in the 7th
house is also square Saturn, and opposite The Moon Then partner could
have Capricorn/strong Saturn/10th house influences in their chart, or
Cancer/strong Moon/4th house influences in their chart
The best scenario is to have ALL your relationship houses represented in your
partners chart to some extent. This is so that the different facets of each of
the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses are all fulfilled to at least some degree within
relationship. This is not as hard as it sounds. There are many different ways
that a partner can meet these requirements though the composition of what
planets, signs, houses, and aspects are strong in their natal symbolism. As
long as the general themes of each or your relationship houses are repeated
in the partners natal chart in some fashion, they will fit your attraction pattern.
Its also worth looking into how you yourself fit into your partners attraction
pattern, to check that the pull to each other is mutual. Take a peak at their

5th , 7th , and 8th house symbolism and see how your chart reflects this
symbolism back to them Through the signs, houses, planets, and aspects
strong in your chart.
2. HOUSE OVERLAYS
This one is pretty basic. When a partner has planets actually falling into one of
your relationship houses (the 5th, 7th and 8th ) this is whats referred to as
HOUSE OVERLAYS When this occurs the partner will bring to the fore the
area of life associated with that house, and stimulate feelings within you
related to the theme of that house. The main comment I want to make about
this is that house overlays work better if the planet sitting in the house in
question is actually aspecting something in your chart. For example, if
someone has a planet sitting in your 7th house but not actually making any
aspects to anything else in your chart, you might have only a vague liking for
them or you may not even notice them at all.
When a partner does aspect your chart with planets overlaying your
relationship houses, the results can be like magic. Glorious even. This is when
you really feel the other persons energy lighting your romantic, affection, or
intimacy needs in a way that fascinates and excites you Conjunctions,
sextiles, and trines are particularly pleasing squares and oppositions can be
either extra dramatic and invigorating or heartbreaking sometimes both.
In terms of what planets are most significant in house overlays, the Sun, the
Moon, Venus, Mars, and the Asc tend to generate the most attraction, and
chemistry in these houses. The outer planets can also be quite exciting and
glamorous when they tightly aspect your personal planets from these houses.
Saturn brings responsibility and groundedness to these relationship areas.
Mercury here may bring an attraction to someones communication style. And
Jupiter a big bundle of joy that wants to give you a bear hugPeople who put
Jupiter in one of these houses, especially tightly aspecting your personal
planets, just brighten your day and make you smile.
Look into how you too overlay your partners relationship houses, and
especially take note of any strong interaspects involving the planets you have
these houses for your partner. This will show a great deal about what attracted

your partner to you, and also some possible areas of tension in the
relationship, if difficult interaspects are present.
3. ASPECTS TO THE HOUSE CUSP RULERS
The third way that a person can connect to your relationship houses is by
ASPECTING the HOUSE RULERS of the 5th ,7th and 8th houses in
synastry. I can not overemphasize the importance of aspects to house cusp
rulers enough in terms of how they can create CHEMISTRY between two
people. Even if a partner has no planets in your 5th, 7th or 8th houses what so
ever, if they strongly aspect the rulers of these houses, powerful feelings of
attraction can be generated. And yes, you can wind up married to someone
with nothing in your 7th house, and vice versa for your partner, because of the
such house ruler synastry.
Aspects to the relationship house cusp rulers from planets like the Sun, the
Moon, Venus and Mars and the Asc, can be particularly magnetic in how they
attract you to another.
For example having someones Moon conjunct your 8th house ruler could
make you feel profoundly intimate toward that person, even though their Moon
is not actually in your 8th house
Someones Mars trining your 5th house ruler might have a vitality about them
that is impressive, and thrilling for you
And Venus apecting your 7th house ruler can feel incredibly sweet and gooey,
like you wanna hug and kiss that person all the time
As with house overlays, the type of aspect that a planet makes to your
relationship house rulers will affect how that person influences you. Sextiles
and trines tend to be sweet and supportive. Whereas hard aspects are a
challenge And could be rewarding or painful depending on how that
challenge is dealt with.
Also pay attention to what the angle rulers in your partners chart are doing
If the rulers of the Asc, Dsc, Mc, and Ic aspect one of your relationship house

rulers it can increase your attraction to them in various different ways. (Of
course, check aspects to the Mc/Ic axis itself as well).
Aspects from your partners Asc ruler would attract you to their outer persona.
Aspects from your partners Dsc ruler could attract you to the charming way
that they relate, even if they way they relate is not traditionally charming, it
may seem charming or cute to you. Aspects from your partners Mc ruler may
mean that there is something about their reputation that excites you. And
aspects from the Ic ruler may mean that their place of origin, or family life,
seems interesting and desirable to you.
Look at what your partners 5th, 7th , and 8th house rulers are doing to your
chart as wellDo they aspect Sun, the Moon, Venus, Mars, the Asc, or the
angle rulers in your chart? If they do this may explain a lot about what
attracted them to you in the first place, and where the chemistry is coming
from in your relationship.
Also, relationship house rulers aside, when you get configurations in synastry
like the Asc ruler of one persons chart aspecting the Asc/Dsc Axis, the Asc
ruler, or the Dsc ruler in the other persons chart this is very potent form
compatibility. And any connection between the Asc of one person and the Dsc
or another has a strong attraction theme to it, and tends to pull people
together. Like a house ruler version of a Mars/Venus aspect
When it comes to house ruler synastry in general things can get very
interesting. You can find many interesting combinations to involving the
various house rulers in aspect to each other. Like the 5th house ruler
opposite someone elses 8th house ruler, the 2nd house ruler trine someone
elses 3rd house ruler, the 7th house ruler conjunct someone elses 11th
house ruler Each of these aspects have there own connotation completely
separate from what actual planets are involved in these aspects. All
interplanetary aspects that you have with someone else and be looked at on
an entirely new level when you consider what house cusps they rule And
what this means for the dynamic of the relationship
Of course, whenever one of the 5th, 7th, and 8th house rulers in one partners
chart, aspects any house ruler in the other persons chart, itll give a little

insight as to what attracts them to that person. For instance, with the 5th
house ruler aspecting the 3rd house ruler in synastry, the way the 3rd house
person talks might be exciting to the 5th house person. And there would be a
Mercury/Sun vibe to this aspect regardless of what actual planets are involved
in the aspect. Or with the7th house ruler aspecting the 4th house ruler in
synastry, the way the 4th house person creates a safe haven for the7th
house person, may be part of what attracted the 7th house person to the 4th
house person to begin with. And this aspect would have a Moon/Venus vibe to
it regardless of what actual planets are involved in the aspect.
There is so much information about a relationship that you can explore using
house ruler synastry.
~~~

OTHER HOUSES TO LOOK INTO REGARDING RELATIONSHIPS

It may also be worth taking into account the 2nd and the 11th houses in
relationship synastry.
THE 2ND HOUSE IS THE HOUSE OF SENUSAL PLEASURE AND HAVING
SOMETHING TO OFFER
The 2nd house can have to do with a very basic kind of physical attraction in
synastry and overlays. The Sun, Moon, Asc, Venus, or Mars here particularly
could enhance physical attraction. This is a very sensual house. People who
influence this house in a positive way can also bolster your feelings of selfworth, as if we have something of tangible value to offer in a relationship. A
person influencing this house will not make them your romantic type But
therere other benefits to be gained from 2nd house synastry in a relationship
context. Like physical attraction, comfort, security, and an increased feeling of
self-worth. If the synastry is positive our stuff (which includes our body) feels
valued, useful, and relevant, within that relationship. The other person wants
what you have. Its a very confirming, secure type of feeling.

THE 11TH HOUSE IS THE HOUSE OF LOVE RECEIVED AND

APPRECIATION
The 11th house represents group friendship, but it also represents how others
can make you feel special and adored. The 11th house represents the crowd
or the people, and is naturally opposite our 5th house. The 5th house
represents our heartfelt self expression before others, as well as who inspires
us passionately in this expression. Our muse if you will. And the stage on
which we express what is special to our hearts. As such, the 11th house
theoretically represents the audience to our personal performance in the
world. The symbolism of the 11th house reveals the response we are looking
for from others, and what behavior gives us feelings of approval, and
acceptance. Put another way, the 5th house may show who we fall in love
with, and what we express But the 11th house reveals the people who fall in
love with us, who are our number one fans. The 11th house reveals the type
of people we are able to captivate with our 5th house charisma. We give our
passion through the 5th house. And receive the appreciation from others
through the 11th house. Think of it like a theater. The stage and the
performance is symbolized by the 5th house. And the audience and the
applause (or lack there of) is symbolized by the 11th house. When people
positively influence our 11th house through synastry and overlays, its as if
they know just the right way to treat us to make us feel important and loved.
People who influence our 11th house make us feel that what we have to
express is worthy of applause. Like we are accepted and valued for our
uniqueness, and welcomed into the fold of that persons life.
As with the 5th, 7th and 8th houses, look at the sign of the cusp, and the
condition of its ruler by sign, house, and aspect synastry and overlays
involving these houses will activate these themes in a relationship.
And about the 11th house/5th house thing, previously I did an entire thread on
this topic which some of you may be familiar with. Heres a link if youre
interested. http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/208851.html
~~

This essay was written for the purpose of analyzing the primary 5th, 7th, and
8th houses. But of course we can use the same method to analyze the
secondary 5th, 7th, and 8th houses. We can look for symbolism matches
between the partner's chart and the secondary 5th, 7th, and 8th houses. The
partner overlaying our secondary 5th, 7th, or 8th houses. Or the partner
aspecting the rulers of our secondary 5th, 7th and 8th houses.
I've found that, for some reason, it's quite common for the symbolism of a
secondary love house to show up in a partner's chart, and for the partner's
planets to be overlaying a secondary love house. However, while aspects to
the secondary love house rulers do seem to generate some chemistry, I've
noticed that they are not quite as strong as aspects to the primary 5th, 7th,
and 8th house rulers. When it comes to the chemistry generated by house
ruler synastry, the primary rulers seem to produce the most dramatic effect.
Don't know why this is so. It's just something I've noticed.
I guess it could be that the planets ruling the primary love house are just a more direct
line to that area of life.

Here's another post from 'Quick reminder of Attraction Factors [apart from
synastry]' thread. Again, this may also help clarify what I'm getting at.
Ill elaborate more on my Physical attaction synastry + 5th, 7th, and 8th
house activation in syanstry = strong romantic attractions theory.
What Ive noticed is that romantic attraction comes from a combination of
mostly two factors, and that both are needed for an attraction to be fully
developed. The 1st factor concerns whether or not someone matches your
relationship ideals, and the second factor concerns whether or not you have
synastry aspects with the person in question that produce physical attraction.
FACTORS THAT TELL IF SOMEONE IS YOUR TYPE
Factor 1.) Does the person in question match your relationship ideals? Are
they your type? Our relationship ideals are shown though our 5th, 7th, and
8th houses, the Vertex Axis, and Juno. People seem to be your type when
Planets in the partners chart aspect the rulers of your 5th, 7th, and 8th
houses, or planets in the partners chart are actually in your 5th, 7th, or 8th
houses And when planets in the partners chart aspect your Vertex Axis or
Juno. Or are in the same sign as your Juno, or in the same sign as your
Vertex or Antivertex (particularly if they are within orb of a conjunction or

opposition to the Vertex). When we really fall in love, the person in question
usually influences and matches our relationship ideals in multiple different
ways. The more ways your partner resembles and aspects your 5th, 7th, and
8th houses, Vertex Axis, and Juno, the better!
AND
Factor 2.) Do you find the person in question physically attractive? Does their
mere presence turn you on? This is revealed through traditional physical
attraction synastry aspects like Venus/Mars, Sun/Moon, Pluto/Mars,
Moon/Mars, Venus/Sun and so on (Im sure most of us a familiar with the
traditional physical attraction synastry aspects by now, there are like a million
threads on them). Usually when were really attracted to someone well have
at least one, and often several, of these types of aspects with the partner.
HERES WHY BOTH FACTORS ARE NECESSARY
From my observation, sometimes the traditional physical attraction aspects
can actually be present in synastry without any real sexual attraction
occurring For instance, its entirely possible to have a Venus/Mars aspect
with someone random, like a co-worker, and not feel a romantic/sexual
attraction to them at all. HOWEVER, when the person in question also has
planets influencing your 5th, 7th, and 8th houses, the Vertex Axis, or Juno,
this tends to ACTIVATE any traditional physical attraction synastry aspects
you have with them. So that the aspects can be felt in a sexual/romantic kind
of way, rather then just in a platonic kind of way.
Personally, I find the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses to be crucial in attraction for this
reason. Not just because of the planets in houses thing (not just overlays!).
When the rulers of these houses aspect important parts of the partners chart,
this too activates already existing physical attraction synastry aspects. A few
people have already pointed this out. Over the years, Ive come to observe
that people influencing each others 5th, 7th, and 8th houses (by overlay OR
house ruler aspects), Vertex, and Juno, is what ACTIVATES physical
attraction synastry.
The 5th, 7th and 8th houses, the Vertex Axis, and Juno ACTIVATE synastry
so that any potential attraction in the synastry can be felt. When people hit
these parts of our chart it tends to open our eyes to them as a romantic
possibility. Almost like they flip a switch in our psyche.

Sometimes traditional physical attraction aspects can be felt faintly without the
Vertex, Juno, and 5th, 7th, and 8th house interconnections between charts.
This is usually when the aspect is really tight and powerful. Still, traditional
physical attraction aspects never seem to reach their full potential unless they
are activated by the above mentioned factors. Only very mild attraction
occurs at best when they are lacking. It takes more then Venus/Mars or
Sun/Moon synastry to really fall in love, the person also needs to be our type.
FACTORS TO TELL IF WE ARE SOMEONE ELSES TYPE
If we are going to wonder about who will fall in love with us, we would look at
the partners chart to see how we influence THEIR 5th, 7th, and 8th houses,
THEIR Vertex, and THEIR Juno Mutual attraction happens when both
people show in each others charts in this way.
We check our partners chart to see if we fit THEIR pattern, to gauge their
potential attraction towards us
With sign matching, and house ruler aspects for the partners 5th, 7th, and 8th
houses.
Aspects to the partners Vertex and Antivertex (Especially oppositions and
conjunctions, although any aspect works). To some extent sign matches
work with the Vertex Axis as well. The sign on either side of the Vertex Axis
can have an attractive pull, and some people favor one side over the other.
And Juno by sign, house, and aspect, definitely describes something of what
we need in someone in order to be willing to commit to them. Juno has some
similarities to the 7th house in this way. If we aspect the partners Juno, or if
our chart resemble their Juno, we seem more like we have serious
relationship potential for them.
LOVE HOUSES, AND THE RULER VS CUSP DELIMA
One thing that I've noticed about the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses attraction
theory, is that different people latch onto certain parts of their pattern more
then the rest of it. Meaning, some people are more attracted to the sign of the
cusp ruler then the then the sign on the cusp itself. Some people are more
attracted to a planet in the house in question (Like, having Venus in the 7th
and liking Libra/Taurus energy). While others really do find the actual sign on
the cusp more attractive. For whatever reason, perhaps it relates to childhood
experiences or the way the rest of our chart is set up, different people

'prioritize' different parts of their 7th house pattern in terms of attraction. And
sometimes the part that you're most attracted to changes over your lifespan,
depending on your experience. Which part you 'prioritize' also varies from
house to house (between the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses).
Like in my case, I've got Aries on the 5th house cusp ruled by Mars in Leo.
For some reason I'm just more attracted to Aries then Leo. Although I do find
Leo energy attractive in a way, the attraction to Aries is stronger. I seem to
have prioritized the sign on my 5th house cusp over it's ruler.
My 7th house is different yet again. I've got a Gemini Dsc ruled by Mercury in
Sagittarius, plus Jupiter in the 7th house. I can find Gemini energy attractive,
but usually I'm overwhelmingly more attracted to Sagittarius. The Sag part of
my 7th house outweighs the Gemini part. A guy having a strong Mercury in his
chart, or strong Mercury synastry with me is very attractive though.
My 8th house is Cancer ruled by the Moon also in Cancer in the 8th house.
8th house ruler in the 8th. I really do seem to have a thing for Cancer and
Scorpio by Moon sign, although usually not by Sun signs. I seem to prefer
masculine Sun signs, especially Aries and Sagittarius, with water Moons.
I'll admit I'm not entirely sure why people prioritize different parts of their
relationship houses. I just know that it happens. If two people both had Taurus
on the Dsc ruled by Venus in Sagittarius, one could lean more towards liking
Taurus, while the other could learn more towards liking Sagittarius. And yet a
third person, with the exact same configuration, could go for both signs pretty
much equally. It varies with each person. Each of the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses
will attract us in some way though. We may just prioritize different parts of
each of these houses in terms of what we're attracted to. Different people
seem to latch onto different parts of their own personal 5th, 7th and 8th
houses, and have favoritism regarding the sign on the cusp, the sign of its
ruler, or a planet that house.
Also, different houses will refer to different parts of our partner's chart.
In my case my 8th house usually relates to his Moon sign, and his Sun sign
will usually relate to either my 5th, or 7th house. It works best if we look at our
partners whole chart in terms of how they relate to our 5th, 7th, and 8th
houses. And it helps if we look beyond the signs on the cusps. Not taking the
rulers into account is not only limiting but misleading. I also take note of the
house in which the cusp rulers fall. This too can be very illuminating.

JUNO
This Asteroid has really caught my attention lately.
The asteroid Juno is said to describe what we need and are attracted to in a spouse.
Junos placement by sign, house, and aspect in our chart shows the type of qualities we
need in a partner as a sort of bottom line. Its often a deal-breaker for us, whether or not
a romantic interest has the qualities of our Juno placements. Juno shows who we look
for when it comes to serious relationships. If a person doesnt relate to the qualities of
our Juno sign, even if we find them very attractive, we may not consider them a serious
long term possibility for us. Juno tells what we MUST HAVE in a partner for them to feel
they are someone we want to commit to Not just though the partners Sun sign! Any
important part of the partners chart can relate to our Juno, either by the partners sign
placements or through positive synastry involving Juno.

SYNASTRY OF ATTRACTION: WHY IT DOES OR DOESNT WORK

Okay. So we've probably all had that experience of meeting somebody with
whom we share strong physical attraction synastry, and yet for some puzzling
reason we're just not into them like that. And other times were head-overheels. I think the answer to why this happens in the majority of cases is
HOUSE RELATED SYNASTRY! Attraction is not purely just about what
planets are aspecting what other planets. We can have Venus/Mars with one
person and not harbor any romantic feelings for them at all And have the
very same aspect with a different person and be overwhelmingly attracted.
This is because the ROLE a person will be playing in our lives is also largely
determined by how they influence our natal houses in synastry.
Ive been into astrology since Ive been an early teen, and Ive got a lot of
observation under my belt. Of the people around me, myself, and celebrity
case studies. As Ive honed my passion for astrology Ive started to notice
certain patterns, especially with regard to the astrology of romantic attraction.
One themes Ive noticed is that HOUSE RELATED SYNASTRY 'ACTIVATES'
ATTRACTION PRODUCING INTERPLANETARY ASPECTS. Its seems that
the physical attraction potential of certain astrological aspects can be either
activated or not depending on how the other person influences our natal
chart through house ruler synastry, house overlays, and house symbolism
matches.

But before I get into the house synastry thing, Ill outline the aspects typically
associated with physical attraction (Most of us know these already).
Astrology is REALLY flexible when it comes to physical attraction. There are
many combinations of planets that indicate this...
PLANETARY COMBINATIONS INDICATING PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.
Sun/Moon, Sun/Venus, Sun/Mars, Sun/Pluto, Moon/Venus, Moon/Mars,
Moon/Pluto, Venus/Asc, Venus/Venus, Venus/Mars, Venus/Uranus,
Venus/Pluto, Mars/Asc, Mars/Mars, Mars/Uranus, Mars/Pluto...
Different planetary combinations seem to work better for different people
depending on their natal charts, and the rest of the synastry with the partner.
I've noticed most people do have their personal favorites based on their
experiences. All of the above aspects do work, it's just a matter of preference.
I've also noticed that even if people are the same sex and are straight, that
these aspects work for liking each other's look even in just a platonic way.
There haven been a few women whose sensual look/vibe I really liked who
had Venus in Capricorn in my 2nd house opposite my Cancer Moon in the
8th. These aspects can describe simply admiring someone's attractive
features in general, as well to the more romantic/sexual types of attractions.
I also want to mention Venus/Mercury. This aspect is not typically associated
with physical attraction in the purest sense. But it can indicate finding each
other's mannerisms attractive, flirty little interactions, and good kissing (so I've
heard).
WHY HOUSE SYNASTRY IS IMPORTANT.
The 5th, 7th, and 8th houses are the power players when it comes to who we
find attractive, and why we find them attractive. If we have a typical physical
attraction interplanetary aspect with somebody, and we don't feel it that way, I
suspect that the main reason for this is that they may not be hitting any of the
'relationship houses' (5th, 7th, and 8th) in synastry.

People can influence our relationship houses either by putting planets in that
house through overlays (Especially if the overlaying planets make important
aspects to your natal chart), or by aspecting the ruler of that house in your
chart with their natal planets. When people touch the 5th, 7th, or 8th houses
in your chart with their natal placements they bring the theme of that house to
life for you. Almost like they are turning that house on.
Another way for someone to activate your relationship houses is with a
symbolism match... For instance, if you have a Scorpio Dsc, with Uranus in
the 7th, and Pluto in Libra ruling the Dsc, and the other person has strong
Scorpio/Pluto, Aquarius/Uranus, and/or Libra/Venus in their chart, then they
match the symbolism of your 7th house with the makeup of their chart...
Creating a symbolism match to your taste and preferences. Symbolism
matches are what makes a person seem like they are your type in terms of
personality and style.
HOUSE SYNASTRY AND PHYSICAL ATTRACTION PLANETARY ASPECTS.
I've noticed over time that house related synastry seems to 'activate' any
physical attraction aspects that exist in your synastry with somebody. Like it
flicks the switch in our psyche that distinguishes between a platonic
relationship and a potential lover. The stronger and more intense such
5th/7th/8th house related synastry is, the more intense and complete the
attraction to that person will be.
If, for example, you have Moon trine Mars with somebody, and they also had
their Sun in your 5th house, their Venus sextiling your 7th house ruler, and
their Moon in you 8th house trining your 7th house ruler This house related
synastry would likely flick the Moon/Mars aspect on in a romantic/sexual way.
If such house related synastry involving the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses is
missing, the Moon/Mars aspect would likely stay platonic, and you may like
that persons energy in a friendly way, but not find them particularly attractive.
The 5th, 7th, and 8th houses (The relationship houses) in synastry seem to
be the keys to activating the romantic attraction potential of any synastry that
you have with somebody.

ACTIVATING ALL THREE OF THE HOUSES IS IMPORTANT.

In romantic relationships, it does work best if the person in question
influences all three of the relationship houses in your chart some way or
another. The three relationship houses (the 5th, 7th, and 8th) each represent
one of the three important levels in all romantic relationships. Romance (the
5th), partnership (7th) and intimacy (8th).
If your partners chart connects to all three of these houses, this is a very
good sign. As it indicates that the relationship feels balanced and complete for
you. Having your partner connect to all three of these houses in at least some
way is actually not as hard as it sounds. Your partner could aspect the ruler of
one of these houses. Have planets actually in these houses. Or simply have a
natal chart that matches the symbolism of one or more of these houses. For
example, you have Jupiter in the 7th house, and your partner has important
natal placements in Sagittarius (a symbolism match).
Its also an extremely good sign if your partner, in turn, has all three of their
relationship houses activated by you (in some why). Something as simple as
a sextile to the ruler of one of the 5th, 7th, or 8th houses will be effective,
especially if the other two relationship houses are strong in synastry. This way
the relationship will feel balanced and complete for your partner.
REQUITED AND UNREQUITED LOVE.
The strongest house 'relationship house' activated in the synastry for each
person will determine the flavor of the relationship for them. If only one or two
of these 'relationship houses' are activated for one or both of the people in the
relationship, then the relationship can feel lopsided or somehow incomplete.
Sometimes this even leads to an unrequited love situation, if one person has
strong activation of their relationship houses in synastry, while the other
person has weak or no activation of their relationship houses.
Of course if there is no relationship house activation for either person in a
situation, even if they have Mars conjunct Venus, the relationship will likely
stay in the platonic zone. A reverse to this is also true. If you have no typical
physical attraction synastry aspects with someone, and yet they activate your

relationship houses very strongly, you could see them as very much your type
in terms of personality and style, and yet there seems to be a spark missing...
Like theres just not enough passion to build a connection on.
The synastry of romance seems to be a rather complicated balance between
each person in the relationship having all of three of the 5th, 7th, and 8th
houses activated in some way And also having a couple of really nice
typical physical attraction interaspects in the synastry. Both seem to be
necessary for a relationship for worthwhile and viable to both parties.
THE THREE FLAVORS OF ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS.
I mentioned earlier about how the 'flavor' of a relationship is determined by
which relationship houses are strongest for each person in the synastry. The
symbolism of 5th, 7th, and 8th houses describe what we like on 3 different
levels.
The 5th house is about romantic sparks, infatuation, courtship, and falling in
love. It's that euphoric 'RUSH' we get when we first meet that special
someone who impresses us big time! The 5th house is all about how and why
we fell in love with someone in the first place (Most movies and romance
novels are about this part of the relationship).
The 7th house is about what we view as 'partnership material' for the long
term. And about who we really like and just want to be with in the most basic
of ways. That feeling of tender sweet affection that we have for a loved one...
That longing to embrace their whole vibe as a person, interact with them, and
know them. This comes from the 7th house (The happy couples in typical
American sitcoms exemplify 7th house love).
The 8th house is about the private bond that a couple builds up as they learn
to trust each other. The 8th house is where we get intimate, reveal our mutual
vulnerabilities, share secrets, and negotiate the power balance in the
relationship. It's where we combine forces and unite with our partner, in the
deepest, most complete ways possible... Sexually, emotionally, financially.
(Media example of 8th house relationships? Psychological thrillers and Xrated stuff. Although, hopefully we get a more peaceful type of 8th house

relationship than is typical of the average psychological thriller!! The 8th

house has a gentle soothing side too).
THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCE EACH PARTNER HAS IS
DIFFERENT.
The relationship house that is strongest for each person in synastry will show
how the relationship feels for them. For example, if you have your 5th house
strongly influenced by your partner (Though 5th house overlays, aspects to
your 5th house ruler, or your partner's natal matching the symbolism of your
5th house), then therell be a consistent theme in the relationship for you
relating to the meaning of the 5th house: Feeling 'in love', being impressed,
seeing the other person as adorable and special, a playful tone.
If your partner then has their 8th house strongly influenced in the synastry
(Though 8th house overlays, aspects to their 8th house ruler, or your natal
matching the symbolism of their 8th house), then therell be a consistent
theme in the relationship for them relating to the meaning of the 8th house:
Sexual attraction, trust, and getting emotional and physical security from the
relationship, a serious tone.
Each person in a relationship will have a different experience of the
relationship depending on house related synastry, and which relationship
house is the strongest for them in the connection. Giving each person in the
relationship their own unique experience of the flavor, feeling, or vibe of the
relationship. Although, preferably all three of the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses will
still be touched to some extent for each partner, even if theres a different
emphasis in the synastry.
EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE?
Astrology is complex, so I'm sure there is more to the story... Occasionally
there may be exceptions to the rule. But in the majority of cases, it's seems
that what switches physical attraction producing planetary aspects from
platonic to romantic, is house related synastry.

House related synastry shows if a person is able to fit into the role of a
romantic partner for us in very specific ways. How they are able to match our
individual conceptions of courtship, partnership, and intimacy is revealed by
how their chart influences these areas of life (houses) for us. If they don't
influence these areas of life for us at all, they simply won't attract us much
regardless of what the interplanetary synastry is.
The general trend that I've noticed is that the house person feels more the
planet person, and is inspired by them. Although, I have seen a few random
exceptions to this... Sometimes, for reasons unknown, the planet person will
feel more for the house person. As if they personally feel it's their role to be
the house person's lover/partner/intimate, and became attracted to the house
person. Perhaps house related synastry goes both ways to some extent.
Even if its usually felt more strongly on the house person's/receiving side,
then on the planet person's/giving side. I think it would be interesting to
explore more about what the planet person actually experiences in house
related synastry, and how sensitive we really are to being in other peoples
houses, and touching their house rulers.
Another type of exception that I've noticed is that if two people have a really
powerful physical attraction producing aspect... Like Sun exact conjunct
Moon, or Venus exact conjunct Mars, there can be some attraction even if the
5th, 7th, and 8th house related synastry is absent. Here, its like the power of
the aspect is so intense that it can override the 'activation switch' of the
relationship houses. In these cases, you may see the person as sexy or good
looking But they won't match what your 'type' is, or fit in with your
relationship ideals. As a result the connection usually goes nowhere due to
lack of motivation to actually have a relationship with that person. The
astrology of romantic/physical attraction is complicated stuff.
Anyway, thats my astrological theory of why physical attraction aspects
sometimes work, and sometimes dont work, in synastry.