Peer Review Sheet: Ethnography Paper

Authors name: ________Danny deRoos_______________

Reviewers name: ___________Brad Bonham____________
Author: Before exchanging papers with one of your classmates, fill in the following
information about your draft.
1.
State the main purpose of your ethnography: Are you trying to explain an
aspect of the subculture/site to outsiders? Do you want to convince outsiders of the
subculture/sites value? Would you like members of the subculture/site to examine
something about themselves? Are you comparing outsiders to insiders? If so, do you
favor one side?

2.
-

I am trying to explain that soccer is more than a weak sport as most people
think. Other than the game, the fans are similar to all other sports. I would like
you to notice that
Describe the best section of your ethnography.
The best section of my ethnography is going in depth and describing what I had
observed when watching the soccer games at UNCC. The crowd and who was in
the crowd especially.

3.
Explain one or two problems that you are having with this draft that you
want your reader to focus on.
-

My organization skills are very bad

How can I reword the part where I talk about peoples chemistry or add to it?

Reviewer: Read the authors comments above, and read the entire draft through
once without making any comments. Then reread the draft in order to answer the
following questions.
1.
Locate at least two key passages in the ethnography. Give an example of
something the writer does well. Suggest areas that could benefit from more
description of the subculture, more explanation of the thesis, or forms of

information that are needed to improve the passages.

-

I like the paragraph about describing the crowd. Very in depth and could
visually see what you had described.
Like you said in the problems, the part with the chemistry stuff is kinda hard to
follow. Add more to what you were trying to get across.

2.
Find a section where the author uses primary research. Is the research used
appropriately? Is it clear how the research supports the point being made by the
author? Suggest areas where more primary research would be useful to help
improve the ethnography.
- The research in describing the crowd at the games is used well. It is clear about
the description. No need for more primary research

3.
Find a section where the author uses secondary research. Is the research
used appropriately? Is it clear how the research supports the point being made by
the author? Suggest areas where more secondary research would be useful to help
improve the ethnography.
- I did not see any secondary or couldnt tell if there was secondary research. Add
some in

4.
What overall idea does the ethnography convey to you? How does your
notion of the main idea compare to the authors? Explain how the author might
revise the essay to make the thesis clearer; point out specific ways to accomplish
this.

5.

The overall ideas are trying to convince the reader that soccer is not as weak
as portrayed. This is very close to what the author thought is his idea. Once
youre secondary research is in there, you can add stuff about that in the thesis.

Suggest solutions to the problem(s) the author wanted you to focus on.

- Add more to the chemistry part in what you mean by that

Important: When your reviewers return your peer review sheets, please pay close
attention to (but also evaluate) all comments and suggestions for revision. Please
seriously consider your peers' suggestions on how to improve your paper and
convey your main idea successfully.