Life is Hard, Life is Difficult

My message today is titled Life is hard and its about how to live a great life despite the fact
that life is difficult.
Everybody wants to be happy in life. We all want to live a perfect life. We want that great
job or a successful business. We want to be married to Mr. Right or Mrs Perfect. We want to
have great kids. We want to have friends that stick by us come rain or shine. We want to be
able to have all the material things life has to offer and have all our problems just disappear.

Everybody wishes for good life. It may be at different levels. One person may define a good life
one way and another may describe it another way. For one person a good life may be just having
three meals a day and a roof over their head. For another it may be having a huge mansion and a
couple of million dollars in the bank.
There are different levels and meanings to what a good life is. But whatever you definition
of it, there is perhaps one thing that you may have in common with many other people. You
might want that good life stress free. You would like to have it without having to work so
hard or struggle so much for it. That is a normal human expectation. Nobody likes to
struggle through life.
Unfortunately, that is also what may be stopping you from having that great life. The
thought of all that work, all that planning, overcoming hurdles and resistance is enough to
make a lot of people give up before they even start. It can all seem too overwhelming, and
for many it all just doesnt seem be worth it. Its like being drained of energy just at the
thought of running a marathon. Before you are even at the starting line the thought of all
that running just scares you and tires you so much mentally you just decide not to go for it.
Its just too hard.

One of my favourite books is titled The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck. The first
sentence in the book is:

Life is difficult.
Now, if you pick up a book and the first thing it tells you is life is difficult you may just
think is this book going to get reassuring and encouraging after such a start?
But, as Peck goes on to explain, once you accept that life is hard, it no longer becomes an
issue that its difficult. He says:
Once we know that life is difficult- once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no
longer difficult.
In life you will have difficulties getting anything you want. It is very rare to get anything in
life without some degree of effort. Only if you win the lottery will you have everything
without effort, and even then you would have had to go out and buy the lottery ticket
anyway so its not free at all.

Life is hard your boss will not always be the nicest person in the world. Your job will have
challenges that you did not foresee. Your workmates will sometimes be a pain. You wont
always get the salary and recognition that you want and deserve at work. Your clients may
not be the nicest people in the world.
Life is hard your kids wont always be the ideal kids you want them to be. Your wife or
husband may not be as perfect as you thought they were when you married them in fact I
can guarantee you they are not. Your home may not be the ideal place you would want it to
be. You may not the perfect wife or husband that you once thought you were.
Life is hard running a business is not as easy as you thought it would be. No one is lining
up to bring money to your business, even though you are a really nice person and your
business has great products to offer.
I could go on and on with these examples, but the bottom line is that Life is hard.
I dont mean to say in all this that you dont deserve a break. I am not saying that you are
not justified in thinking that you deserve more than what you have gotten from life and the
world to this point.
I am not saying that you are not justified in feeling the way that you feel. I know you have
had it tough at times. I know that at times you feel that its all very confusing and just too
hard. I mean you have worked very hard. Youve done all that you possibly could in your life
whether it is at work or at home. But things just dont seem to have worked out as well as
you had planned or hoped. It all just seems to have gone wrong and you dont know or
understand how or why.

But thats okay. Its normal. Thats what being human is all about. Thats what life is all about.
Life is hard. Accept that.
Once you do, you will feel better about your circumstances. Then you wont think of your
situation as anything but what is common to every human being. Then you will think of your
situation as a part of life. You will no longer beat yourself up about how bad things are or
how you are not doing so well in one area or another. You will realise that you are only
human. You make mistakes just like everybody else. You are not perfect just like everybody
else.
But dont stop there. Accepting that life is hard does not mean that you accept every
circumstance and simply go with the flow.
You see, there are two sides to this story. There is another side to this coin. On the one side
of the coin is where you have the words life is hard inscribed, but if you turn that coin over
you will five very small but powerful words. They read:

You can make it better

That is one of the beautiful things about life. You can make your life better. You have total
responsibility for what you do and how you respond to the fact that life is hard. As the now
clich saying goes:

If life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

Accepting that life is hard comes with accepting that you have the responsibility to make it
better. Not only do you have the responsibility to make it better, you have the ability and the
power to make it better.
You can make it better become a better employee and someone worth giving more
responsibilities at work. The promotions and the better pay are sure to follow one way or
another.
You can make it better learn how to raise better kids and have a happier home. Become
the good husband or wife you would like your spouse to be.
You can make it better learn how to turn that business around. Gain the extra skills you
need to run a successful business.
You see, the only person you have any control over is yourself. You cannot change other
people. Lets take the example of marriage for moment. Notice that I did not say you should
turn your husband or spouse into an ideal spouse. I said you should become the ideal
husband or wife you want your spouse to be. Then, once you become such a person you
may have several choices as to how to relate to your spouse.
Firstly, once you are as near perfect a spouse as anyone can be your husband or wife might
see the difference and also decide to change for the better or they may just change
naturally as a response to your new attitude. Secondly, if they dont change, perhaps you
will have reached a level of maturity where you are content and satisfied with who they are
and their faults no longer bother you. Or thirdly, in some cases, such as in abusive
relationships or in relationships that are a risk to your health, you may reach a level of self
acceptance and courage where you are able to leave that abusive or unfaithful partner.
Whatever the case may be, this example illustrates one other important fact about teh fact
that life is hard and taking responsibility. That is:

You always have choices

No matter what situation you are in, you have a choice. No matter how bad things are, you
have a choice. No matter what you think you can or cannot do, you have a choice.
Now it may not be an easy choice, by any means. It may be a very difficult choice and the
road you decide to take may be a tough one. It may push you way out of your comfort
zone. It may mean that in the initial period your life may get even harder than it already is.
But it is a choice nonetheless.
A lot of times you will actually find that the choices are not as hard as you thought they
were. You may just have shut off your mind from seeing those choices and possibilities
because you thought you had no choice. Once you become open to the idea that you are
responsible for your life and that you have choices, you will find that you are no longer stuck
just because life is hard.

At that point, life is still hard, but you have the final say. Your life becomes more
meaningful and purposeful.

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen: members of university administration and faculty, scholarship donors and
recipients, families! It is a great pleasure for me to greet you here today. First of all, let me introduce myself.
Some of you already know me; some of you can only imagine who this person is. Well, I used to be a student.
I graduated from this university ten years ago. I succeeded in my academic years, and I was a recipient of a
scholarship. Those days I was like a duck to water within the walls of my alma mater. Today, I feel a little bit
like a bull in a china shop, but I hope you'll understand my excitement.
Tonight is a special evening for me. Tonight I want to express my deepest gratitude to this university which
made me the person I am now. Though like any person I would like to believe that I am special and gifted by
myself, I cannot underestimate the role of the university in my formation as individuality. It is here that I
understood the value of academic success and the importance of one's skills development. The university
years were an essential part of my life: they taught me to be a social and sociable individual who can speak
the same language with different people. I found a lot of friends, and we continue to support relations even a
decade after graduation. Communicating with them, I see that my success in life is not accidental - the
majority of my friends have also succeeded. I'm inclined to think of the common denominator such as
university which faceted us like diamonds (without false modesty). I think that independency today play an
outstanding role in the life of any person. We all want to demonstrate our independency and freedom. We
want others to honor us and we want to be honored for our own achievements. However, university plays an
outstanding role in the formation of a personality. Even self-made people cannot reject the importance of
their university days and their influence on their lives. As for me, I came here as a freshman more than ten
years ago and like the majority of freshmen I was full of ideas, aspirations andfear. I wanted to contribute
my talents and gifts to the academic community. I wanted to become the part of this friendly and favorable
environment. Certainly, it was not so easy, and I had to apply certain strategies for my integration into this
community. But the presence of clear mind, proper qualities and university faculty allowed me to do so. I
succeeded; I received the scholarship while attending the university. It was my merit as well as the merit of
my academic advisor and the merit of the university, because I wouldn't be so successful in the absence of
that special environment.
After graduation, I became a scholarship donor. And here is my appeal to you, today's scholarship recipients
and future scholarship donors: be open and responsive. Be team players! Remember that you should
participate in the lives of other people, because your help may become crucial for the success of another
person. This is like a relay race - you should pass the baton, and then your team will win. Otherwise, you will
be standing alone in the center of the playing field with that baton. Will it be beneficial for you? Will you feel
yourself a winner? I really doubt it. So, pass the baton after your graduation, that is, let others feel that
excitement like you do now. Be responsive and open: we all live in the world, where all resources go round.
You can't just accumulate them for yourself; you should share them with others. The more you give, the more
you receive. I want to assure you that this proverb is completely true. Though I was very happy and proud of
myself when I received the scholarship, I cannot express my pride and happiness today, when I am a donor
of scholarship. This feeling is much deeper because it gives me the understanding of my role in the society I
live in. I feel that I am important and my contribution is essential. Don't get me wrong: there is no selfadmiration in my message. I just want you to understand the underlying benefits of scholarship donor
system. You are going to graduate from the university and enter the life as it is soon. I want warn you, that
you'll face a lot of challenges and obstacles on your life way. It is only your inner power, will and real skills
that can help you to get out of those troubles brilliantly.
I remember my gratitude to my scholarship donors whom I saw as successful and responsible people.
Despite their social status they were open and responsive. They saw their duty in giving and sharing,
because they also obtained their scholarships in due time. They received the same attitude from their donors
etc. So, you see, this process is everlasting. I want to tell you one story that I've heard from one of the
donors of past years. I hope that you'll find it useful. Maybe, sometime later you'll have that happy chance to

stand in front of students and you'll consider it reasonable and appropriate to tell this story. It could happen
to anyone. Moreover, it can happen to you. So, listen carefully and think. He is an honorable person working
for an IT company. He told that in the beginning of the career he faced the issue of a moral nature. In short,
his future position in the company depended on the personal information he possessed about his superior
officer. He could share this information with the decision-maker, and then this position almost undoubtedly
would be his. However, he always remembered the precept of his university tutor: "The third party is always
watching". Each person imagines one's own "third party". For some of us, it is God, for others their families or
friends. There is common word for this third party - one's conscience. So, my acquaintance did not use that
dubious chance. He was advanced later, but he secured his reputation, good name and good relations with
his senior officer. Just like I have already mentioned, only you decide what your life will be like. Will it be
constant fight or reasonable compromise with people and yourself - it's up to you to decide.
Also, I suggest you value each day of your university experience. My grandma used to tell me that in
advanced age I would have the wisdom but it can turn out that I lack strength. Of course, I hope that she
would turn out to be wrong. And I wish you to find that balance of wit and strength in your university years. I
advise you to work on the edge of your capabilities. You'll find that it is not as difficult as it may seem but the
result of such work cannot be compared to anything else. Besides, you would know that nothing more could
be done and you made your best. This is the recipe of the best education - to do your best. You study in the
wonderful university which provides you with the great educational base. Use it and value it! You've been
recognized as the best students, because you are awarded with the scholarship. But even this is not enough
to be best. Today you are students, tomorrow you'll become employees. You have to bring your principles
into your life, no matter who you will be in future and what you r life will be like. But remember your
university, those people who contributed to your education and be grateful. Life is neither short nor long. It
can be measured by your experience, memory and cooperation with other people. It is either deep and full of
sense, or routine and senseless. Only you decide what you would do of it. As for me, I can state I am glad
that I entered this university in due time; that I developed my skills and gained new knowledge here in due
time; and that I learned how important is the recognition from others such as scholarship. It can raise your
self-confidence enormously, but you should not forget where did you come from, I mean university. I
appreciate deeply and sincerely the opportunities my university gave to me. I've used them and succeeded.
You are special students. You feel pride and inspiration. Keep that feeling of recognition! It is wonderful and
worth of remembering. Strive for even better feeling - the feeling of sharing. Future generations of students
will wait for your support just like you have waited for mine. Remember: the more you give, the more you
receive. I wish you to be successful and remember your university which gave you a start in life!