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IELTS Writing Task 1: describe a process

Here is some more advice for describing a process diagram. The
question I'm using comes from Cambridge IELTS 6. It's also on this
website (go down the page to test 3).
Advice:
1. Introduction: paraphrase the question statement (one sentence).
2. Summary paragraph: write how many steps there are in each of
the 2 diagrams. You could also mention the first step and the
last step in each process (two sentences).
3. Details: describe each step in the diagrams. We'll look at this
next week.
Here's my example introduction and summary paragraph:
The figures illustrate the stages in the life of a silkworm and
the process of producing silk cloth.
There are four main stages in the life cycle of the silkworm,
from eggs to adult moth. The process of silk cloth production
involves six steps, from silkworm cocoon to silk material.
Can you see the paraphrasing I have used? Next week we'll work on
describing the stages in each process.
paraphrasing:
diagrams=figures
show=illustrate
stages=steps
the life cycle of the silkworm=the stages in the life of a silkworm
production=process of producing...=process of ...production.
there are ...stages=...involves ...steps.
Hello Simon,
I hope the paraphrasing aboved is correct. I enjoy you daily lessions
very much. I am preparing for the IELTS test, and your lessons help
me a lot. Thank you very much.
Here I have some qustions about this lession. The following is my
sentence:
There are six stages in the process of silk cloth production,
beginning with selecting cocoons. Then the qualified cocoons will* be

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boiled, unwind into* thread, and the thread will be twisted and
finally weaved.
My first question is that should I use future tense (will be
boiled....) or present simple tense (is boiled)?
The second question is that which preposition should i use? (the
qualified cocoons will be unwind into* thread: should I use "into") ?
I am looking forward to your reply. Thanks again.
Best wishes
Theresa
Hi Theresa,
Your paraphrasing is perfect. Here are the answers to your questions:
1. I would use the present simple to describe processes e.g. "The
selected (not 'qualified') cocoons are boiled."
2. I would avoid trying to use a preposition - I'd find another way
to describe it e.g. "The cocoon is unwound, leaving a single thread".
Or, "it is then possible to unwind the cocoon in order to have a
thread of silk."
Hope this helps,
Simon
When describing stages in a process:
1. Start at the beginning. Use words that clearly show the stages
(e.g. firstly, at the first stage, after that, next, following
this, finally).
2. Use the present simple tense.
3. Use the 'active' when someone or something does the action
(e.g. the moth lays its eggs).
4. Use the 'passive' when it is not important to say who or what
does the action (e.g. the silk cloth is dyed).
Here are some example sentences from last week's question:

The life cycle of the silkworm begins when the moth lays its
eggs.

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After 10 days the silkworm larva is born, and 4 to 6 weeks

later the larva produces silk thread.
At the first stage in the production of silk cloth the cocoon
is boiled in water.
Next, the silk thread is unwound and twisted.
It is then dyed, to give it colour, or woven to make cloth and
then dyed.

I have highlighted the passive verbs and the words that mark stages.
Advice: you can avoid difficult passive verbs like 'unwound' or
'woven' by writing 'it is then possible to unwind' or 'the thread is
then ready for weaving'.

IELTS Writing Task 1: describe a table

Today I'm going to look at a question from Cambridge IELTS book 5
(page 98). You can see the question and an example answer on this
website.
The problem with the example answer is that it is long (233 words)
and quite complicated. I'm going to suggest some changes, starting
with the introduction and summary paragraph.
1. Introduction. Paraphrase the question (make small changes):

The table shows data about the underground rail networks in six
major cities.

2. Summary paragraph. Look for the most noticeable feature or main

trend:

The table compares the six networks in terms of their age, size
and the number of people who use them each year. It is clear
that the three oldest underground systems are larger and serve
significantly more passengers than the newer systems.

Next week I'll add the final paragraphs.

Last week I wrote the introduction and summary paragraph for this
question. The example answer on the website is good, but it's 233
words long, it contains a few mistakes, and it's a bit complicated.

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I've now written the full essay. I've followed my usual 4 paragraph
structure (see previous Task 1 lessons) and I've tried to make the
essay clear and simple.
I'd give my essay a band 9, but maybe I'm biased! Please let me know
if you find any mistakes in my writing (nobody's perfect), or ask if
anything is unclear.

Describe a table (Cambridge IELTS 5, page 98)

The table shows data about the underground rail networks in six major cities.
The table compares the six networks in terms of their age, size and the
number of people who use them each year. It is clear that the three oldest
underground systems are larger and serve significantly more passengers than
the newer systems.
The London underground is the oldest system, having opened in 1863. It is
also the largest system, with 394 kilometres of route. The second largest
system, in Paris, is only about half the size of the London underground, with
199 kilometres of route. However, it serves more people per year. While only
third in terms of size, the Tokyo system is easily the most used, with 1927
million passengers per year.
Of the three newer networks, the Washington DC underground is the most
extensive, with 126 kilometres of route, compared to only 11 kilometres and
28 kilometres for the Kyoto and Los Angeles systems. The Los Angeles
network is the newest, having opened in 2001, while the Kyoto network is the
smallest and serves only 45 million passengers per year.
(185 words)
Analysis of this essay:
Simple paragraph structure: Introduction, summary paragraph, one
paragraph about the 3 older systems, one paragraph about the 3
newer systems.
Select key information: There is too much information to include in a
short essay. I found it difficult to write less than 185 words. Notice that I
tried to include only one (sometimes two) statistics for each city.
Compare as much as possible: e.g. London is the oldest and largest;
Paris is about half the size but serves more people.
Commas: Notice how I use commas to add extra information e.g. is
the oldest system, having opened in I often use the word with after
a comma to add a figure to the end of a sentence e.g. is the most
used, with 1927 million passengers.
Model

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It is a nice piece of writing

I have tried one.
The table reveals information on the Underground railway station
among six cities during two centuries.
As is shown by the table, London, the oldest railway system, has by
far the longest distance with 394 km, closely followed Paris, the
second oldest underground railway , with 199 km, or equaling a haft
distance of London system. This then preceded the opening of the
railway system in Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles.
Interestingly, although Tokyo has the middle position as regards the
kilometers of route with 155 km, it appears to be the highest system
used by passengers, with 1927 million. This number is considerably
higher than that of both Paris and London. These figures are 1191 and
775, respectively.
Surprisingly, Kyoto and Los Angeles have the lowest number of either
kilometers of route and passengers per year. In fact, the number of
passengers using both of them is a great deal less than that of
Washington DC, with approximately three times less , while the
distance of Kyoto and Los Angeles railway system is negligible
(ranging from 11 to 28).
In conclusion, London has the highest number of kilometers of route,
while Tokyo occurs to be the successful railway system with the
overwhelming majority of passengers
(193 ws)

IELTS Writing Task 1: comparing (bar charts)