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MAP S.T.A.R.S.
8 Week 12 Step
Introductory Program
Its as easy as A. B. C.
STRANGER
AWARENESS
CHARACTER
DEVELOPMENT
CONFLICT
EDUCATION
SELF
PROTECTION
______________________
________________________
__________________________
____________________________
Stranger Awareness
SAP
12 Dos and Dont
For Keeping Safe
Courtesy
Gentleness
Honesty
Make Friends
Use Humor
Walk Away
The Force
The Circle of Awareness
Friend or Foe
Humility
Use Cleverness
Push - Spin-away
Intelligence
Push - Roll-away
Kindness
Refuse to Fight
Order
Responsibility
Scream/Yell
Wisdom
Compassion
Use Authority
Ignore the Threat
Respect
Take a Stance
Demo
Module 1 Aware
Do Know Name/Add/Ph#
Do Know Family Code
Do Be With Friends
DoTrust Gut Feelings
Do Go To An Authority
Figure If Lost
Do
Say
NO
When
Invited to a Strangers Car
Do Use Your Head In A
Bad Situation RUN, RUN
Do Know 12 Ways To Walk
Away with Confidence
Dont Tell You Are
Home Alone
Dont Take Shortcuts
Dont Take Candy/Gifts
From a Stranger
Dont Wear Clothes With
Your Name On Them
Demo
Module 2 Avoid
Module 3 - Bargain
Module 4 Control
SOS
12 Ways to Protect
Yourself From Harm
Be SHARP! Be AWARE!
Twelve Ways To Sharpen Stranger Awareness
Dos and Donts for Staying Safe!
A Martial Arts for Peace
Life Skills for Kids Program TM
by
Dr. Terrence Webster Doyle
with Adryan Russ
based on the
Martial Arts for Peace books
by Dr. Terrence Webster-Doyle
Atrium Society
P. O. Box 816
Middlebury, VT 05753
Phone: (800) 848-6021
Online website: www.youthpeaceliteracy.org
Email: martialartsforpeace@gmail.com
ii
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page
Lesson 1:
Do Be Aware
Lesson 2:
Lesson 3:
Lesson 4:
Lesson 5:
11
Lesson 6:
14
Lesson 7:
16
Lesson 8:
18
Lesson 9:
Do Go to a Safe Zone
21
25
27
30
iii
LESSON 1:
DO Be Aware
2.
Does being aware mean you are observant? Focused on whats going
on around you? Living in the moment?
Does being aware make you feel strong? If so, in what way?
Tell students:
"
"
"
Its good to be aware all the time, but when youre in an unfamiliar
area, or talking with suspicious strangers, its especially important.
"
The voice inside us that tells us to beware is usually right! Listen to it!
Focus! Be aware!
Activity 1: Exercise
I Am Alive!
#
Ask students:
1.
2.
When you walk down the street, are you aware of whats in your
line of vision? Do you really look at whats on the street, who is on
the street, and whats going on?
3.
Tell students:
1.
Lets sit, right where we are (if the weather is good, take students
outside). Sit comfortably, close your eyes and just LISTEN. For two
whole minutes, sit as quietly as you can and do nothing but LISTEN.
(Whisper:) On your mark, get set, go.
2.
(After two minutes:) Lets open our eyes now and just LOOK. Dont
move from where youre sitting but, as quietly as you can, just LOOK
around you. Say nothing, but NOTICE what you see.
Ask students:
1.
By sitting quietly with your eyes closed, did you notice any sound
that you dont normally notice? What did you hear?
2.
By sitting quietly and looking around, did you notice any sight that
you dont normally notice? What did you observe?
3.
How do you think you could practice being aware when youre
at home, at school, or out in the world? Does this activity help?
4.
LESSON 2:
1.
2.
Did you notice new things about any friends or family this week?
Did you try last weeks exercise on them? What happened?
Do you think its a good idea to talk with any stranger who
approaches you? Why do you think so?
Tell students:
"
"
This feeling of power comes from using our brains instead of our
fists.
"
Activity 2: Exercise
Stranger Awareness!
#
Zone 2
Zone 3
MILD!
MEDIUM!
HOT!
Be friendly
Use humor
Be clever
Walk away
Use reason
Agree with stranger
Ignore threats
Refuse to go
Stand up to stranger
Call an authority
Shout at stranger
Take a stance
Tell students: Here are three Stranger Awareness Zones that could help
you deal with a stranger who might be dangerous! Zone 1 has some mildmannered, gentle approaches, if the danger level feels low. Zone 2
approaches are more energetic, if something tells you there is danger! Zone 3
approaches are the most aggressive, and can be used when you feel certain
that danger is on the rise, and youre going to have to deal with it.
2.
Do you think that being friendly, using humor, or being clever can throw
a stranger off-guard and give you more time to keep your distance, or
get away?
3.
5.
Which of the hot responses would work best for you, if you believe
the danger level is high? Standing up to the stranger? Calling for
help? Screaming loudly, Leave me alone!? Preparing to fight the
stranger?
LESSON 3: DO
2.
Do you think its important to know that when you shout, Leave me
alone! or I dont know you! you are not being a coward?
Do you think that shouting at a stranger might throw the stranger offbalance, and stop violence before it starts?
Tell students:
"
"
"
"
Its sad that there are such people who will say these things in order to
get their way, but the fact is they do exist, and we need to be aware,
in case were the ones theyre talking to.
"
Activity 3: Roleplay
I Dont Know You!
Ask for two Volunteers to play the parts of STRANGER and DALE.
!
Tell Volunteers to get into their parts and to have fun with the
roleplay!
DO ROLEPLAY!
1.
Were there any indications that this stranger meant to do harm? Was
Dale imagining it all?
2.
Did Dale make use of any of the Stranger Awareness Zone skills? If
so, which do you notice? Did Dale use humor, reason, cleverness?
3.
Do you think the stranger intended harm? Were you able to know for
certain?
4.
Do you think that Dale wasnt sure but perhaps felt uncomfortable?
5.
6.
What do you think it was that made Dale feel that way?
7.
Activity 3: Roleplay
I Dont Know You!
STRANGER
Hi, Dale. How are you doing?
DALE
Oh, hi. Okay. (Looks at Stranger.) Do you live near here? I dont
see you very often.
STRANGER
(Moves a little closer to Dale:) Oh, yeah. Just a mile or so.
DALE
Ive never seen you in school. Do you go to school here?
STRANGER
(Moves a little closer to Dale:) Um, no. I go to Roosevelt, the other
school in the neighborhood.
DALE
(Moves away from Stranger.) Im meeting my group director just down
the street. Gotta go.
STRANGER
(Moves closer:) Hey! Where you going so fast? Lets talk a minute!
Wait a second, Dale! Stop!
DALE
(SHOUTS:) How do you know my name? I dont know you! Leave
me alone! (Starts to move fast, but shouts with great authority:) If you
dont leave me alone, Im going to report you!
STRANGER
Hey! Im just trying to be friendly!
Be Afraid to Say
No, Thanks.
LESSON 4: DONT
1.
2.
Do you think its important to practice saying no, so that we are good at
saying no if were ever approached by a stranger who does not have
good intentions?
Tell students:
"
"
"
"
Cut the page into strips, then fold the strips, so no one can see what
they say, and put them into a hat or bowl. Make sure there are
enough strips for everyone. You can make more than one copy of
each, or be creative, and make up some strips of your own!
Ask for a Volunteer to pick one strip out of the hat or bowl.
Ask the Volunteer to open the strip and say whatever the strip says. The
Volunteer must give a quick, short response!
Then, ask that Volunteer to stand in front of another student, offer the bowl
or hat of strips, and ask that students to pick and say whatever question
is on the strip of paper. Allow student responses to be serious or funny.
The subject matter can be touchy, and we want students to be able to
respond any way they like. What matters is that they answer quickly and
spontaneously!
Continue until all students have had a chance to respond! But youll
have to move fast!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Someone youve seen around the schoolyard invites you to a party thats
happening in 15 minutes. What do you say?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Someone you know whose lived in your neighborhood for 10 years offers
you a ride to school. What do you say?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A stranger approaches you and says, Oh, my God! I cant find my child!
Will you help me find her, please? you say:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A complete stranger calls you by name and wants to help you carry the
groceries youre carrying back to your house. What do you say?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Someone you dont know says he knows you can be trusted and asks you
to keep a secret, and you say:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------You happen to get lost and you get separated from the adults you were
with. A stranger, instead of telling you to go to the security office, asks
you to follow, and what you do is:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Someone approaches you and says, Im so sorry to bother you, but my
puppy is lost. Could you please help me find her? Im so worried about
her! And what you do is:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------If you sense someone following you, and that person catches up to you
and wants to show you a short-cut to the school, or back home, you say:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Someone rings your doorbell when youre at home by yourself. You look
through the peephole and see that its someone youve never seen before.
What you do is:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Whenever you get lost in a public place, the right thing to do is:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Whenever you meet someone who gives you the feeling that this person
might be dangerous, the right thing to do is:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------There are lots of different ways to say no. One of them is:
10
LESSON 5: DO
1.
2.
Who are the five most trustworthy people in your life? Can you name
them? You dont have to name them out loud, but you should know
who they are, just in case you have to call upon them.
Tell students:
"
"
The first thing to do is to think of one person you trust the person
you would contact first if you were in danger. This kind of thinking
enhances your Mental Self-Defense skills and strengthens your
brain!
"
Our number one martial arts goal is always to stop conflict before it
starts. With that in mind, lets focus on the best way to stop conflict that
could be caused by a stranger bothering you!
11
Activity 5: Roleplay
Who Do You Trust?
#
Ask for two Volunteers to play the parts of MRS. SAVION and WALKER.
!
Suggest to Volunteers that they really try to get into their parts and
have fun with the roleplay!
DO ROLEPLAY!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
If its an adult that was bothering Walker, do you think Walker might
find it difficult to tell another adult about it?
7.
12
Activity 5: Roleplay
Who Do You Trust?
MRS. SAVION
Hey, Walker! Youre looking pretty down. Whats happening?
WALKER
Oh, nothing, Mrs. Savion. Nothing at all.
MRS. SAVION
Doesnt look like nothing to me! You look awful!
WALKER
Yeah, thanks.
MRS. SAVION
Look, Walker, the best thing to do when somethings bothering you is
to talk about it. If it sits on your chest, it never goes away!
WALKER
Well, its kind of personal.
MRS. SAVION
Okay. Its personal. I understand. Ive been teaching at this school for
10 years, and Ive seen it all. Okay. Let me guess. Someone lied to
you. Someone stole from you. Someone ticked you off. Someones
taking advantage of you. Am I getting warm?
WALKER
(No response.)
MRS. SAVION
Hey, listen. You dont have to talk to me, if Im not the right person.
But you should talk to someone. Cmon! Tell me youll talk to
someone I mean today! You need help. I can tell.
WALKER
I need help all right. Okay, will you listen to me?
MRS. SAVION
Sure.
WALKER
This isnt easy to talk about, but well, youve known my family and
me for a long time. Okay, here goes.....
13
LESSON 6: DONT
Accept Gifts
1.
2.
Do you think you would ever accept a present from someone you
dont know?
Do you think it would be very wise to not accept the box of candy?
Why do you think so?
None of us likes to think about it, but do you think its possible that
someone with bad intentions might add something to candy before
giving it away?
Do you go trick or treating for Halloween? If so, is the candy you get
always from people you know or people you know that are well
intentioned? How do you know?
Tell students:
"
Someone might try to give you candy, or take your picture and offer
to give it to you as a present, or offer you a box when you dont
know the contents of the box.
"
Its awful to have to be wary of gifts people give us, but as the
saying goes, Its better to be safe than sorry. All were trying to do
is keep everyone safe!
"
"
Talk through the chart on the next page. Photocopy and enlarge it!
Keep adding to it, on an ongoing basis!
14
Activity 6: An Activity
Stranger AWARENESS Gifts!
Here is a list of possible stranger-awareness gift situations in which a
stranger might offer you a gift. Ask your friends, family, adults and other people
for suggestions and ideas to add to this chart. Keep adding to this chart!
1.
2.
3.
4.
Someone you dont know says theres a gift for you in the car, but
you have to come and get it.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
15
Tell Adults
Where Youre Going
LESSON 7: DO
2.
Do you always tell your parents and/or teachers where youre going,
when you leave their sight?
Is there any reason why you would not tell them where youre going?
What would those reasons be?
Would you be afraid that perhaps they might not approve of where
youre going? Or might worry about you?
Tell students:
"
The world today is more dangerous than it use to be. There have
always been people around with bad intentions, but there seem to
be more of them these days.
"
"
Its always smart to let parents know where you are and when
youre expected back.
"
One way to prevent conflict from brewing is to keep the people you
know best informed about where you are and what youre doing.
That way, if you need help, they know where to find you.
16
Tell Students:
"
"
"
Ask Students:
1.
Why do you think its a good idea to talk with any stranger who
approaches you?
2.
3.
Can you think of a time when a person you dont know made you
feel uncomfortable? When was that?
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
17
Get Into a
Strangers Car
LESSON 8: DONT
Never Go Anywhere
With Someone You Dont Know!
1.
2.
Do you think that someone could trick you into getting into their car
by using the names of people you know?
Would you ever consider going anywhere with someone you dont
know?
Tell students:
"
The way we think creates the way we feel, and the way we think
and feel creates how we act.
"
If we think that a stranger has told us the truth, we will believe it,
and possibly get into the strangers vehicle. If we are aware
enough to question whether a stranger has told us the truth, we are
prepared!
"
"
18
Activity 8: Roleplay
Get in the Car!
Ask for two Volunteers to play the parts of LANE and CAMPBELL.
!
Suggest to the Volunteers that they get into their parts and have fun
with the roleplay!
DO ROLEPLAY!
1.
What do you think? Did Campbells mother really get into an accident?
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
19
Activity 8: Roleplay
Get in the Car!
LANE
Campbell! Campbell! Quick!
CAMPBELL
(Squints to see:) Who is that calling me?
LANE
Get over here! Quick!
CAMPBELL
Who are you? What do you want?
LANE
Listen! Your mom just had an auto accident! Quick! Jump in the car,
and Ill take you to her!
CAMPBELL
What? What are you talking about?
LANE
I said, your mother just had a car crash. Shes right near your house!
Quick! Jump in the car, and Ill take you over there!
CAMPBELL
How do you know my mother? Who are you? (Shouts:) Leave me
alone! Im going home on my own! Dont get near me!
LANE
Hey, Im just trying to help! Ill give you a ride!
CAMPBELL
(Shouts:) If you get any closer, Ill call the cops! Get away! Get away!
Get out of my sight!
LANE
Okay! Okay! Im gone!
20
LESSON 9: DO
Go to a Safe Zone
1.
2.
Ask students the following questions and, once again, encourage them
to give you quick, alert answers. Remember, you have only 15 minutes!
!
Tell students:
"
"
"
"
"
21
Activity 9
My Safest Place!
Ask for two Volunteers to play the parts of SIMPSON and KARLIN.
!
Remind Volunteers that its good to really get into their parts and to
read their lines with enthusiasm!
DO ROLEPLAY!
1.
What did you think about Karlin and Simpsons choices for safe
places?
2.
3.
4.
Do you think it might be helpful to make a chart for the people you
know, in your home or school?
5.
22
ROLEPLAY
My Safest Place!
SIMPSON
Are you crazy?
KARLIN
What do you mean am I crazy?
SIMPSON
During an earthquake, you would run outside?
KARLIN
Yes, I would!
SIMPSON
I cant believe it!
KARLIN
Well, its not like the sky is falling! We live in a rural area, there are no tall
buildings or anything. A tree might fall, but if all youre looking for is trees,
Id feel much safer outside than in a house that might fall on me!
SIMPSON
Well, maybe you have something there. I grew up in a big city, so I would
never think of running outside, but you may be right about that. What safe
place would you run to if someone was trying to abduct you?
KARLIN
Oh! That makes my stomach queasy. You keep hearing about those
things on the news. Its awful. I dont know where Id go. It depends on
where I was at the time. If I was home alone and someone broke in, Id
probably try to get out. If I was on the street, Id probably run to my martial
arts school. If I was far from home I dont know.
SIMPSON
You have to be more creative than that!
KARLIN
What do you mean?
SIMPSON
You have to close your eyes and pretend youre somewhere, and then
think of a safe place that isnt the usual or the ordinary, you know?
23
KARLIN
Oh. You mean, like if theres an earthquake, I could maybe slip into the
cement cave in the garage of our house?
SIMPSON
What cave? Yes, a cave! Great!
KARLIN
And if someone tries to abduct me, I could use one of the martial arts
techniques weve used distract the would-be abductor by being clever,
or walking away, and then hide behind bushes, or run in the opposite
direction that the abductor would expect, or run to someones house and
yell for help or run as fast as I can to the police station!
SIMPSON
Yeah! Those are great ideas!
KARLIN
Where would you go?
SIMPSON
Me? Well, our house has a hidden basement no one knows about. Well,
you know about it now, but no one else does. I wouldnt tell anyone I dont
know about it. And I would run anywhere there are lots of people and hide
among the people! Ive seen that in movies, and that always seems to
work!
KARLIN
Wow. Maybe we should get a bunch of kids together and make a huge
chart called Safe Places and keep a running list!
SIMPSON
Thats a very cool idea! We could put up a chart in school, and make
copies for kids to take home.
KARLIN
We could put up a chart at the community center or at the grocery
store, or anyplace a lot of people go.
SIMPSON
Lets get started!
KARLIN
Im with you!
24
Go Alone
Into Dangerous Areas
LESSON 10: DONT
2.
Do you take a hard look at how these things DID happen to these
people?
No matter how strong you are, how much martial arts youve
studied, and how smart you may be, do you think that everyone is
basically vulnerable, at one time or another?
Tell students:
"
The phrase Better safe than sorry makes good sense! Whenever
you find yourself in a place where you do not feel safe, its good to
stop and think for a moment about your next step.
"
You never want to walk through dark alleys, poorly lit parks or
deserted areas especially when youre by yourself.
"
"
25
Ask students to calmly sit in a circle and close their eyes. Ask them
to think silently about the most dangerous place they can think of.
(Give them half a minute.)
Then ask students to open their eyes and ask, Who wants to tell the
most dangerous place they can imagine?
Ask students:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Do you think it would be helpful to let other people know that they
ought to stay away from this place?
5.
What do you think would be the best way to inform people you
know about the danger of this place?
6.
Are there any people you know who hang out in this place, even
though they are aware that its risky?
7.
Are there any people you know who hang out in this place, who do
not know that they may be putting themselves in jeopardy by being
there?
8.
26
LESSON 11: DO
2.
Is it your opinion that our inner voice is our gut feelings trying to
give us some good advice?
Tell students:
"
Its important to respect our gut feelings. Those feelings are not
just wild or crazy thoughts running rampantly through our heads!
Those feelings are based on our instinct, which is doing its best to
give us some important advice!
"
"
More often than not, our gut feelings are accurate. They are like
built-in signs or warning bells, signaling us to pay attention.
"
27
Go around the room many times, as many as you wish, firing the
questions that appear on the following pages. Youre always invited
to make up some of your own that you know are appropriate for your
students. Its okay to re-use the questions over and over again,
because different students will have different responses.
28
1.
A stranger walks up to you and wants to show you some great stuff he has
for sale in his car. Your instinct tells you to:
2.
Someone youve seen around the neighborhood but dont know very well
knocks on your door, says his car is stalled and asks to use your
telephone. Your instinct tells you to:
3.
A person youve never seen before is following you down the street, and
you sense that you are going to be attacked. Your instinct tells you to:
4.
5.
A clown on the street is passing out candy to all the kids. You take the
candy and youre about to unwrap it. Your instinct tells you to:
6.
Theres been an explosion in your house, and a fire has started. Your
instinct tells you to:
7.
Youre in a neighborhood thats not your own, and youre heading home
when a car of teenagers stops and begins to follow you down the street.
Your instinct tells you to:
8.
Youve just moved to a new house and havent yet memorized your
telephone number. You need to call someone at home. Your instinct tells
you to:
9.
A group of kids is following you down the street. You think that if you run,
they will probably run after you. Still, you dont want to let them catch up
to you. Your instinct tells you to:
10.
You are a very trusting person, and you tend to believe everything people
tell you. Someone you dont know that well tells you that youd better
hurry and get in the car, because someone in your family has been hurt,
and this person will get you there quickly. Your instinct tells you to:
29
Distrust All
Strangers
1.
When you ask your students the following questions, keep in mind
that this is the last segment make it the best one! Remind students
that there are no right or wrong answers only honest ones!
!
Do you think we should trust our instinct all the time, no matter what
it tells us?
What is the most important thing you think youve learned from
becoming more aware of strangers?
Lets say that youve been inducted into the local Police
Department.
"
Your job is to come up with safety tips for kids and to go around to
schools to help students learn more about stranger awareness and
what they can do to live as safely as possible.
30
After five minutes, call time. Ask each group to quickly report their
findings to the rest.
"
"
"
31
Twelve Ways
To Act With Respect
An Education for Peace
Life Skills for Kids Program
Ages 9-14
by
based on the
Education for Peace Series books
by Dr. Terrence Webster-Doyle
TM
LESSON 1:
Courtesy
2.
Did it make you feel strange to be courteous? Did it hurt? Did you get
sick when you decided to be courteous? Just kidding, of course!
Tell students:
Some people believe that being courteous is for wimps. What do YOU
think?
Being courteous makes you strong! AND being courteous makes you
feel good!
Being courteous makes you feel strong, because you make a decision
to use your mind to get to know someone else a powerful martial
arts skill!
Activity 1
Do The Unexpected!
Ask students:
1.
What are some ways you find yourself being less than courteous?
2.
Do you think were less courteous with people we know well? Why
do you think so?
3.
4.
Do you groan when any adult asks you to do something that you
dont want to do? Does this sound vaguely familiar?
Tell students:
1.
Heres a way to apply courtesy to your daily life. Go home tonight and
after dinner when someone asks you to do the dishes, or finish your
homework early, do it! Do the unexpected!
2.
3.
4.
5.
(fill in
First, I bow.
What do you think will happen? Will the adults at home pass out in
disbelief? Will they think youre ill? Will doing the unexpected be like a
focused block? Have fun!
LESSON 2:
Gentleness
1.
2.
What did you discover happens to people around you when youre
courteous?
Do you feel any different in your mind? In your body? More in control?
When you did the unexpected, did you feel any conflict? Did you feel
calm? Is that feeling better than the feeling you get when you resist
doing what youre asked to do? In what way?
Tell students:
This feeling of gentle power arises when we use our brain instead of
our fists.
Activity 2:
Turn the Bully into Jelly!
Zone 2
Zone 3
MILD!
MEDIUM!
HOT!
Make friends
Use humor
Be clever
Walk away
Use reason
Agree with bully
Ignore the threats
Refuse to fight
Stand up to bully
Call an authority
Kiai/Yell
Take a stance
Tell students: Here are three Target Safety Zones to help you turn a bully
into jelly! Zone 1 has some mild-mannered, gentle approaches to use with a
bully. Zone 2 approaches are more energetic, but theyre still gentle! Zone 3
approaches are the most aggressive, but can still be done with gentleness!
2.
Whats the gentlest, most courteous way you can think of to use this
approach with a bully?
3.
Do you think that being courteous and gentle with a bully can take the
wind out of the bullys puffy sails? Turn the bully from steel to jelly?
4.
5.
Does winning, mean focusing your power on being peaceful and calm
so that you are in control of your self?
6.
Whats one way you can act gently today that will show the world how
powerful you are? Encourage all responses.
4
LESSON 3:
Honesty
2.
Did you know that the martial arts were started by people who wanted
not only to protect themselves, but to understand themselves?
Does it hurt your feelings to know someone lied to you? Do you think it
helps to understand why that person may have lied to you?
Tell students:
Even though most of us, at one time or another, have been dishonest,
we know that being dishonest isnt good and doesnt feel good!
The reason it feels better to be honest is because honesty frees us from
being in conflict!
Activity 3:
Faking It, Not Making It!
Tell students:
Are you ready to think silently? Shhhhh! (Whisper:) On your mark, get
set, go!
After two minutes, call time! Then, move as quickly as you can! Ask
students how that person faked it. Then ask:
Do you think this person who was lying was afraid of something? What
could this person have been afraid of?
Do you remember not telling the truth sometime? Were you afraid of
something? What made you afraid?
If you could go back to that situation, do you think you could be truthful
this time around?
How would you handle any fear you might feel about telling the truth?
LESSON 4:
Humility
1.
2.
In this full-power moment they experience, do you think that they are
free of fear, because all they can see is that someone else is in
danger and needs help? Is this real humility? Why?
Do you think theres any conflict in their minds at these times? Or are
they so focused that all they see is what they must do?
The cheetah can run much faster than we can! The gorilla is
stronger than we are! The monkey can climb higher and swing
better!
The best human athletes jump about seven feet high! An ordinary
flea can jump the equivalent of more than 100 feet!
There are more than six billion people on Earth. From a distance,
each of us is like a tiny grain of sand on the Sahara Desert.
The Earth is one of nine planets orbiting the sun, which is only one
of several billion stars in the Milky Way! And the Milky Way is one
of 30 or more galaxies in a local cluster thats a tiny speck in an
ever-expanding universe! Do you feel humble now?
When our focus tends to be too much on ourselves, when fear and
conflict distort our view of whats real whenever we take
ourselves too seriously, its good to think about these facts!
Activity 4:
One Grain of Sand!
A MENTAL FREESTYLE
BEFORE CLASS, photocopy the following page, and cut the sayings
on that page into strips.
Fold the strips, so no one can see what they say, and put them into a
hat or bowl.
Ask for a Volunteer to pick one strip out of the hat or bowl. If there
arent enough strips for everyone, make two copies of each, or make
some up!
Ask the Volunteer to pick a strip! Open the strip and ask the
Volunteer whatever the strip says. The Volunteer must give a
quick, short response!
Continue until all students have had a chance to respond! But youll
have to move quickly!
1.
2.
3.
Would you rather spend time talking with someone who feels selfimportant, or with someone who likes to share credit? Why?
4.
What are some actions you could take to practice humility at school, at
home, and within your community?
5.
Would these actions involve being helpful to someone you know? What
are some ways youd like to help another person, or many other people?
6.
How would you define the power and strength that can come from being
modest, being humble practicing humility?
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
How does taking the time to understand someone set you free?
12.
LESSON 5:
Intelligence
1.
2.
Suppose you meet someone new, and decide that you like this person.
Would you want to get together with that person again?
What if you discovered that this new person you met lives in a
neighborhood that a lot of people avoid. Would that change your
desire to get together with this person?
If so, do you think your reaction would be one of prejudice? Would you
be making a decision based on incomplete information?
Tell students:
10
Activity 5:
Prejudice Is in My Blood!
What was the last time you saw someone who looks very different
from you, different from most people you know?
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
Did your opinion stay the same because you never met the person?
10.
How would you feel if YOU were that person and someone had prejudged YOU?
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
Have you had this kind of fear? Does having this fear help you
understand how a foreigner or stranger might feel?
11
LESSON 6:
Kindness
1.
2.
Do you think your visit helped that person feel a little better?
Do you think its good to be kind? Do you think being kind can be
exciting, even awesome?
What would you think of starting our own Random Acts of Kindness
network and, instead of just watching good guys and bad guys in
action films, you actually got involved in actively helping people in your
neighborhood?
What do you think are some ways we could help our neighborhood?
Encourage as many ideas as you can get. There are no wrong
answers! Make the chart on the following page an activity!
Tell students:
We are all in this life together. We all have similar problems and
we all want and need to be cared for and helped.
It feels good to be cared for, and it also feels good to help others.
12
Activity 6
Matters of the Heart Chart!
Here are some activities we want to try in our neighborhood! Add to this
chart anytime! Which of these should we do first? Ask your friends, family, adults
and other young people for suggestions and ideas. Keep this chart alive!
1.
2.
Visit a firehouse, get a tour, and thank fire fighters for all they do,
and ask how we can help them.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
13
LESSON 7:
Order
1.
2.
Do you remember what it was like to bite into an orange for the first
time and taste its sweetness? Or smell a rose for the first time and be
amazed by the scent?
Tell students:
When were filled with conflict, our minds and bodies feel as if
theyre in a state of disorder.
One way to prevent conflict from brewing inside you is to see the
world as it is, as its happening, right here and right now. Just look
at it without doing anything! See it as it is!
14
Activity 7
Go for a Walk in the Dark!
A Mental Freestyle
Tell Students:
Ask Students:
1.
2.
Do you think that its Okay to do what you want when you want to?
Why? Why not?
3.
4.
Do you think that the real goal in life is just to make money? Why?
5.
I understand you Martial Artists can kick the living daylights out of
anyone. Why dont you prove it? Why not?
6.
Arent the martial arts just more violence? Why? Why not?
7.
8.
Do you think the only way to resolve a fight is to fight? Why not?
Thank your students for their willingness to take a walk in the dark!
15
LESSON 8:
Responsibility
1.
2.
Do you think good health also has to do with how a person thinks,
feels and acts?
Did you know that a baseball player who hits only one-third of the
time up at bat is considered a great batter? Thats about three hits
out of ten. Hows YOUR batting average in the things YOU do?
Tell students:
The way we think creates the way we feel and the way we think
and feel creates how we act and how we think and feel and act
creates what we believe and this affects how we respond to life.
We need to stand back and see the big picture how we all
create the world by the way we think, feel and act.
16
Activity 8
Seeing the Big Picture!
17
LESSON 9:
Wisdom
1.
2.
What does it mean to know who you are? Do you think you know
who you are? Are you Tiger Woods? Brittany Spears?
Tell students:
18
Activity 9
A Kick in the Chest!
Ask for two Volunteers to play the parts of TWINKY and MARSH.
Tell Volunteers to get into their parts and to have fun with the roleplay!
DO ROLE-PLAY!
1.
Did you see any bullies in the role-play? Any victims? Any victors?
2.
Did these two friends make use of any Safety Zone skills? Which
ones did you see?
3.
4.
5.
Are these two friends comfortable enough with each other to work
things out fairly easily? What makes this possible?
6.
7.
8.
Do you have a friend like this with whom you can be straightforward
and honest without being afraid?
9.
19
ROLEPLAY
What A Kick!
TWINKY
Ooowwww!
MARSH
Oh! Wow! Oops! Sorry!
TWINKY
Youre not supposed to kick me for real! This is self-defense practice!
MARSH
I know. I know. Didnt mean it. Im really sorry.
TWINKY
Yeah, sure.
MARSH
I said Im sorry. Youll have to trust me. Besides, thats not why youre
upset.
TWINKY
I am NOT upset! (Pause.) Okay, Im upset. You kicked me in the
stomach, and its killing me!
MARSH
Thats not why youre upset.
TWINKY
Oh, this is really good. Youre gonna tell ME why Im upset. Okay, smart
aleck. I guess you know me better than I do.
MARSH
Actually, I do.
TWINKY
Im in too much pain to listen to this.
MARSH
Youre upset NOT because I kicked you but because your focus was
seriously lacking. When I kicked, your mind was I dont know WHERE
it was, but it wasnt HERE.
20
TWINKY
How do you know that?
MARSH
If you could have seen yourself in the Mirror of Truth, you would have
seen that you were distracted. You didnt block my kick.
TWINKY
Well, you didnt control your kick! You were as distracted as I was.
MARSH
(Pauses.) Yeah. Youre right, I was.
TWINKY
What were you thinking about?
MARSH
Okay, I have to be honest here. I wanted to show ME off. I forgot you
were there.
TWINKY
Its hard to get out of the habit of trying to win, isnt it?
MARSH
You also never thanked me for helping you the other day. Remember
Lesson 3, Honesty? I thought I did a pretty good coaching job.
TWINKY
Remember Lesson 4, Humility? Where is yours?
MARSH
Okay, youre right. Youre right. (He bows.) I bow to your wisdom.
TWINKY
Actually, you did a good coaching job, and it WAS disrespectful of me not
to thank you. So . . . . thanks.
MARSH
Dont mention it. You think theres any hope for us?
TWINKY
Lets go to class. Maybe the Sensei can kick a little sense into us.
MARSH
Please dont use the word kick in my presence ever again. Wow, that
hurts.
21
Compassion
LESSON 10:
Compassionate Thoughts Can Be Powerful!
1.
2.
3.
Tell students:
Did you know that when you hear someone elses point of view,
you get smarter?
Ask students:
When you offer compassion to someone, and you learn how that
person thinks and feels, how do you think this makes you powerful?
How much kindness will you show someone today? How powerful
do you want to be?
22
Activity 10
Today is a Bully Compassion Day!
Ask students to sit in a circle and close their eyes. Ask them to think
silently about someone they believe is a bully a classmate, an
adult, a person in the news that they want to be compassionate to.
(Give them half a minute.)
Then ask: Can everyone think of a bully? (Give them some ideas:
Someone who calls people names; someone who is mean; someone who
hurts peoples feelings.) Let the room be quiet for half a minute.
Then, ask students to open their eyes. Ask for Volunteers to talk
about the bully theyve chosen. (They should NOT name any person
everyone knows personally!)
Ask students:
1.
Why have you chosen this person for Bully Compassion Day?
2.
3.
4.
Have you ever been angry enough to want to act that way too?
5.
Do you think you can understand why the bully acted this way?
6.
7.
Would you want someone to see through your anger and help you?
8.
9.
11.
Does it make you feel strong to think about offering respect and
comfort to a bully?
23
LESSON 11:
Respect
2.
Have you ever watched a bird soar through the air, wings spread,
float easily, effortlessly, glide freely in the beauty of the endless
sky?
In that moment, have you wished that you too were free, soaring
above the earth with no cares, no worries?
Tell students:
Respect is honoring the dignity of all life, treating all people, all
things with care and sensitivity.
In the natural world, everyone and everything has its place and
purpose. A tiny spider is as special as the North Star.
24
Activity 11
Soar Like an Eagle!
A Mental Freestyle
Go around the room many times, as many as you wish, firing the
questions that appear on the following pages.
When you are done, have students bow to each other within the
circle; then, give themselves a round of applause!
25
Activity 11
Soar Like an Eagle!
A Mental Freestyle
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
26
LESSON 12:
1.
Is there a chance that your way of peace might come into conflict
with my way of peace? Is there any way to bring about peace?
Lets say that youve become Ambassadors for Peace for the world.
Its your job to work with two separate groups who fight constantly.
Youve been asked to turn a We vs. Them attitude into a mutual
attitude of Us.
What ideas would you suggest to all humanity to help these two
dissenting factions get along?
27
Tell them:
You hope that all of you can get together again to learn about
yourselves.
There are other classes you offer at your school that are like
this one but even more fun!
28
Twelve Ways
To Walk Away With Confidence
An Education for Peace
Life Skills for Kids Program
Ages 9-14
by
based on the
Martial Arts for Peace books
by Dr. Terrence Webster-Doyle
TM
LESSON 1:
Make Friends
2.
Tell students:
Think about it. There isnt a bully alive who does not need
admiration and respect. Maybe its not a bad idea to think of a bully
as a friend instead of an enemy.
We can stop a bully with our minds, instead of our fists, by making
friends.
Am I A Bully?
Tell students that youre going to walk around the room and say the first
part of an unfinished sentence. As you walk around the room, stop and
indicate that a certain student should finish the sentence. Tell students
there are no right or wrong answers. Have fun! Move quickly!
Am I a bully? The last time I got angry with someone, I . . . . .
Am I a bully? People get me really upset sometimes, and
when they do, I have to . . . .
Am I a bully? Sometimes, when Im really angry, I probably
would never DO this, but I feel I would really like to . . . . .
Am I a bully? Sometimes, I get very angry, but I dont want
people to know Im angry, so I . . . . .
Am I a bully? I enjoy telling people what to do and how to do
it,
because . . . . .
Am I a bully? I like feeling strong and pushing other people
around because it makes me feel . . . . .
Am I a bully? The thing I really dont like about kids who are
smart is . . . . .
Am I a bully? The thing I really dont like about kids who
have lots of friends is . . . .
Im going to make friends with a bully today. The way Im
going to do this is . . . .
Have as much fun with this as you can. Give every student more than one
sentence.
Make up more of your own sentences that you know will apply specifically
to your particular students!
When we recognize that we ourselves
COULD BE or HAVE BEEN a bully,
we start to understand how a bully thinks.
Thats the beginning of our strength
our power of perception!
2
LESSON 2:
Use Humor
2.
Why do you think using humor might be good to use with a bully?
Do you think using humor might keep a bullys mind off fighting, and
keep the situation from getting scary?
Do you think that, even if the bully doesnt laugh with you, using
humor gives you a chance to take the puffy wind out of the bullys
sails?
Do you think it might be important to HAVE fun WITH the bully, but
not MAKE fun OF the bully? Whats the difference?
Tell students:
The main point of using humor is to distract a bully, and take the
bullys mind off threatening thoughts.
Whether or not a bully laughs, the idea is to throw the bully off
balance, by putting new thoughts in the bullys head.
While the bully is thinking about what youre doing, rather than
thinking about hurting you, this gives you time to think about your
next move.
Tell Volunteers to get into their parts and to have fun with the
roleplay!
DO ROLEPLAY!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Did the bully laugh? Did the bully think this was funny?
7.
Did the use of this prank work anyway? Did it stop a fight?
8.
9.
Do you think the use of humor made Tweedle-Dee feel good? Feel
more confident? Have more time to think of other ways to keep the
bully from getting violent?
ROLEPLAY
I Dont Get It!
TWEEDLE-DEE
Uh-oh! Here comes that bully Tweedle-Dum. Hes going to ask for money
again and threaten to beat me up if I dont give him any. Maybe I can use
some kind of trick!
TWEEDLE-DUM
(Looks tough:) Well, hello there, my rich friend. Youre the buddy whos
going to give me a couple of bucks for my lunch RIGHT?!
TWEEDLE-DEE
Look, Tweedle-Dum, you must think the money I have grows on trees or
something, but look! (He pretends to draw a dollar bill from behind
Tweedle-Dums ear.) It grows on you instead!
TWEEDLE-DUM
What? What are you doing? Give me that dollar bill!
TWEEDLE-DEE
Yeah, sure. But you should know its funny money.
TWEEDLE-DUM
What do you mean, its funny money.
TWEEDLE-DEE
Its not real. I bought it at a toy store.
TWEEDLE-DUM
You did?
TWEEDLE-DEE
Its a really good copy, isnt it?
TWEEDLE-DUM
Gimme that! Let me see! (Examines the bill closely.)
TWEEDLE-DEE
Yes, you can get a hundred of these for 5 cents at the toy store up the
street. Isnt that amazing?
TWEEDLE-DUM
This looks real, you twerp. Are you making fun of me?
TWEEDLE-DEE
Of course not! Okay, okay. You win. Its real.
TWEEDLE-DUM
No, its not! Now youre tricking me again!
TWEEDLE-DEE
Well, you didnt believe me when I said it was funny money, and now you
dont believe me when I say its real.
TWEEDLE-DUM
(Throws dollar bill back at Tweedle-Dee.) Take this phony money, you
stupid kid! Get out of my sight before I punch you!
TWEEDLE-DEE
(Picks up his dollar bill.) Anything you say, Tweedle-Dum. Anything you
say. See you at the 5-cent store!
LESSON 3:
Walk Away
2.
What do you think would happen if you did nothing but walk away?
Tell students:
When a bully acts mean by, say for example, calling us a name,
and then we call the bully a name too, as a reply we are
REACTING to what that bully did. The bully ACTS, and we RE-act.
When a bully acts mean, and we ignore the bully, agree with the
bully, are nice to the bully, or walk away from the bully we do
something the bully does not expect. Rather than REACT to the
bully, we ACT based on our own thoughts and feelings.
Walking away from a bully doing nothing else but walking away
is one of the best ways to bamboozle a bully. The bully expects
you to stay and shudder in fear, but instead, you turn and walk
away, which shows great personal confidence and strength!
Ask for two Volunteers to play the parts of BABBLER and STROLLER.
Tell Volunteers to get into their parts and to have fun with the
roleplay!
DO ROLEPLAY!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Do you think just walking away is a good tactic to use with a bully?
Why do you think so?
8.
Do you think that with some bullies, you could walk away, but you
might need to be prepared to do something more?
9.
ROLEPLAY
Say Not hing!
BABBLER
(Shouts:) Stroller! Hey, Stroller! Ive been looking for you all day!
STROLLER
(Stops, looks at Babbler and says nothing.)
BABBLER
(Shouts:) You made a fool out of me in history class today, and Im gonna
pay you back!
STROLLER
(Just stands there, continues to look at Babbler and says nothing.)
BABBLER
Everybody laughed at me when I told you to stand there and wait, and you
just left! Do you not understand whos the boss around here!
STROLLER
(Looks at Babbler and starts to walk away.)
BABBLER
(Shouts and gets angrier and angrier:) You idiot! You dont have any
guts, do you! You think youre so smart, dont you! Well, I know and
everybody knows that youre a freaking coward, because you wont fight
me.
STROLLER
(Keeps walking, showing no sign of emotion.)
BABBLER
Well, guess what! Everyone knows I can beat you up, and theres no
reason to prove it!!! Thats why you walk off, isnt it!!! Youre scared Im
gonna beat you to a pulp, arent you!!!
STROLLER
(Looks at Babbler, turns and walks away, and says softly:) The highest
goal of a martial artist is to stop a fight. Id like nothing better than to show
this fool whos boss and thats what Im doing. There will be no fight,
because Im controlling this situation! (Smiles to self:) Say nothing, say
nothing, say nothing!
LESSON 4:
Use Cleverness
1.
2.
3.
Tell students the following. Move quickly! Remember, you have only
15 minutes per lesson!
Since our highest goal is always to prevent a fight, the use of clever
conversation calls upon your creative imagination to fool a bully,
and can often stop a fight before it starts.
What are some ways your creative imagination is telling you, right now, to
get a bully to not fight, to not hurt you or anyone else?
Could you say you are sick and have a communicable disease?
Tell students:
When we hurt, sometimes our instinct is to hurt back, but thats not our
only choice! We can ACT instead of REACT!
Its good to practice thinking in the moment for this very reason! The more
we practice, the stronger our minds and bodies become!
10
I Can Be Cl ever!
Tell students that youre going to walk around the room and say the first
part of an unfinished sentence. As you walk around the room, stop and
indicate that a certain student should finish the sentence. Tell students
there are no right or wrong answers. Have fun! Move quickly!
I can be clever! If a bully demands that I hand over my
money, I can . . . . .
I can be clever! When a bully comes after me and looks
pretty threatening, I can try to . . . .
I can be clever! There are some adult bullies I know, and
sometimes I have to do what they tell me. But when its
something I really dont want to do, I know I can . . . . .
I can be clever! I know a bully who is really annoying. Im
trying to picture this bully as a friend instead of an enemy. To
try to make this bully more of a friend, I could . . . . .
I can be clever! The best thing anyone can do when
threatened by a bully is to . . . . .
I can be clever! Theres a dog that barks at me on my way
home. This dog is a bully! Hes huge and his bark is scary.
The next time I pass this dog, I think Ill . . . . .
I can be clever! Bullies like to have their way. I think the best
way to get a bully calm is to . . . . .
I can be clever! I can do whatever a bully least expects. This
one bully I know would least expect me to . . . .
Im going to make friends with a bully today. The clever way
Im going to do this is . . . .
Make up more of your own sentences that you know will apply specifically
to your particular students!
11
LESSON 5:
1.
2.
Did you know that the most important thing you can learn in the
martial arts is respect?
Do you think the act of respect is a way to show people you like
them, or honor them?
Tell students:
While breaking boards and bricks and doing flying kicks in the air
are powerful physical skills, the most important part of martial arts
is learning how to be aware of people and things around you and
how to get along with other people.
12
Okay!
Your e Right!
Every day there are people, places and things that can trigger
a reaction in us to fight.
2.
2.
3.
What did you tell yourself about these words and thoughts?
4.
For those of you who yelled insults, how did it feel to say mean things and
put this other person down?
5.
6.
7.
8.
Were your mean words facts or did you make them up?
9.
13
ROLEPLAY
Okay! Your e Right!
BULLY #1
(Shout an insult at the Volunteer. Make it up! Shout it loud. Be angry!
Call this student a name!)
VOLUNTEER #1
Okay! Youre right! You are absolutely right when you say that
about me. Thats exactly how I am. I have always been that way.
Maybe I always will be that way. You are right! Your words dont
upset me. I am the one who controls my feelings not you.
BULLY #2
(Shout an insult at the Volunteer. Shout it loud. Be angry! Call this
student a name!)
VOLUNTEER #2
Whenever I want to, I can take a trip inside my mind and find lots of
fascinating places there. Its calm, peaceful, safe and I know Im in
good company. My mind understands that you believe what you are
saying is true. Okay! Youre right! But know that I wont fight!
Allow the VOLUNTEER to use this dialogue. Just make sure that the insults
are not too mean, saying real hurtful things to some of the kids who may feel
sensitive to certain insults. Also, make sure they do not use swear words.
14
LESSON 6:
Refuse To Fight
Just Say No!
1.
Ask students the following. Move quickly and passionately! Get them
excited about what you have to say!
It isnt always easy to make the right choice for a situation, but with
practice do you think we get better and stronger?
How many people does it take to have a fight? One? Two? Does
it take one to start it, and another to complete it?
What about a fight inside your mind? Does that take only one
person?
Do you think that turning your back, walking away, and refusing to fight
even when friends are watching takes great mental strength?
Do you think, when we refuse to fight, that decision can stop conflict in
an instant? Isnt it amazing, to be able to stop conflict in an instant?
15
I W ont Fight!
2.
3.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I hate when
The reason I wont fight about this is
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Its okay to use the above statements over and over, but take the
time to make up some of your own that you know fit your students!
Give every student a chance to participate!
LESSON 7:
1.
2.
Do you think you can focus so you can see why a bully is upset
and tell the bully, with words, with your body, with how you
present yourself that you do not want to be bullied ever again?
If you stand up to a bully and lose, do you think youll feel better
than if you give in? Why?
You must decide if you think this alternative will work for you. If a
bully does get angrier, you can always be prepared to try
something else!
Your first goal is always to stop a fight, if you possibly can, before it
begins. When you stand up to a bully, sometimes you stop the
fight, and sometimes you dont. Be careful!
17
Listen!
Tell students:
1.
2.
The more practice we get observing rather than fighting back, the
stronger our minds become.
3.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
18
ROLEPLAY
Listen!
BOBBIE
Hey, you! Sammie! Listen to me! What are you doing just sitting there
with your eyes closed like a dumb idiot?
SAMMIE
(Sits calmly, without opening eyes:) Im practicing my martial arts.
BOBBIE
You are the weirdest looking person Ive ever seen in my life! Where did
you get those frumpy clothes? Did your baby sister pick those out? Wow,
Ill bet you think you look cool, huh? That hairstyle went out in about
1872. Dont you know how to get with it?
SAMMIE
(Keeps eyes closed and takes a big breath:) This is my martial arts
clothing, Bobbie. Its very comfortable.
BOBBIE
Are you too dumb to know anything? I guess, considering where you live,
how you grew up and the crazy people you hang out with maybe this
shouldnt come as a surprise to anyone. Ive seen those stupid, cowardly,
putty-brained people you call your friends. Youre just like them!
SAMMIE
(Takes a big breath, opens eyes and stands up to face Bobbie, eye to eye.
Takes a strong, self-assured stance, clears throat, then rattles off the
following as quickly but as clearly and calmly as possible:) Okay, heres
the deal. Listen! What I wear and who I hang out with has nothing to do
with you. Another thing: I dont have to listen to you. You know why?
Because you do not matter in my life. You know what else? I find it
difficult to even look at you. You know why? Because you take
advantage of people and have no respect for anyone. Do you know why?
Because you dont have respect for yourself! If you respected yourself,
you wouldnt pick on other people! And heres the best offer youve
probably had in your life: If you ever want to learn what respecting
yourself is about, ask me sometime when Im in the mood to tell you. In
the meantime, buzz off! (Walks away quickly.)
BOBBIE
(Standing alone and silent for a moment:) What a jerk!
19
LESSON 8:
Scream or Yell
1.
2.
Why do you think that a shout or strong cry a kiai or kiyop can
sometimes be more powerful than a punch?
Do you think its because our sense of hearing has a strong effect
on how we think and how we act?
Tell students:
Many parts of the body work together to create this shout. The
brain, the head, the body, and the arms and legs as support.
In the martial arts, kiai is used with a block, punch, kick or strike.
The body and the breath work as one, and the synergy that comes
from combining both is forceful.
Kiai can frighten a bully, or throw a bully off guard, and, for a
moment, make the bully forget about wanting to fight you or hurt
you!
20
Scr eam!
2.
3.
Use each statement as often as you like, but take the time to
make up some of your own that you know will fit your
students lives and situations, and inspire them to perform
strong kiais!
LESSON 9:
Use Authority
Help Is on the Way!
1.
2.
If a bully is hurting you, do you think you have the right to use any
means possible to get help?
Isnt our highest goal always to stop a fight, any way we can?
Who are some adults you would call if you needed help?
Its important for us to learn skills that help us end conflict before it
starts, and before anyone gets hurt.
There is a right time to call for help the right time to call for help
is when you know you need it!
22
Hel p!
2.
2.
3.
4.
Remind students:
Do not be afraid to call for help when you need it. If your instinct
tells you that you need help, call for it!
23
ROLEPLAY
Help!
JARON
(To self:) Uh-oh. Here comes that bully, Jesster. This could be scary.
Maybe if I say something pleasant, itll be okay.
JESSTER
(To self, angry:) Okay, okay. So Im gonna fail geometry. Big deal! The
stupid principal expects me to do something about it, right? (Kicks the
street.)
JARON
(To Jesster:) Hi, Jess. Great football game yesterday, huh?
JESSTER
(Angry:) WHO CARES! (Grabs Jargon by the collar.) WHAT MAKES
YOU
THINK I CARE ABOUT A STUPID GAME? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I
CARE ABOUT ANYTHING YOU SAY!?
JARON
Hey. What are you doing? Let go! I didnt mean anything. I was just
trying to be friendly.
JESSTER
SHUT UP! I dont want to hear another word out of you!
JARON
I dont want to fight, so Im not going to get into it.
JESSTER
SHUT UP, Jaron! Take off those stupid glasses!
JARON
Didnt I help you with your geometry stuff last week? Whats the matter
with you, Jess? Are you not feeling well? What did I do?
JESSTER
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! TAKE OFF THOSE GLASSES!
JARON
(Looks around and sees school principal, and shouts:) MR. ROTH! MR.
ROTH! HELP! COME HERE, PLEASE! JESS IS ABOUT TO GO NUTS!
I NEED HELP!
24
LESSON 10:
1.
2.
Does it mean to walk away, pretending you didnt hear a word the
bully says to you?
So if you decide to ignore a bully, you better get ready to move quickly
just in case!
25
Invis ibl e!
2.
Do you think ignoring the bully worked well for Genghis? Why do
you think so?
3.
4.
5.
Remind students:
When deciding to ignore the bully, it helps to imagine the bully gone
to pretend the bully is invisible!
Thats why its good to be prepared. When you make the decision
to ignore a bully, you need to be prepared to get away just in
case as quickly as you can.
26
ROLEPLAY
INVISIBL E!
GENGHIS
(Sits in a comfortable position, reading a book.)
MARSH
(Shouting:) Hey, you! Genghis! (Waits for a while but gets no response.)
HEY! Im talking to you! Are you deaf?
GENGHIS
(Continues to ignore Marsh and to read.)
MARSH
Listen, you creep! You know you were supposed to do my social
studies homework for me yesterday. Where were you after class? I
was looking for you! (Waits for a response.)
GENGHIS
(Shifts sitting position but says nothing.)
MARSH
If you dont start talking. . .
GENGHIS
(Interrupts Marsh, as if Marsh wasnt really there:) Its difficult for me to
pay attention to my reading when you talk to me like this. I understand
that you have a problem, but Im afraid I cant help you.
MARSH
I need that homework!
GENGHIS
(Looks up from book.) Im leaving.
(Stands up and walks away, as quickly as possible.)
27
LESSON 11:
1.
2.
Ask students the following questions. Make sure they understand, but
move quickly!
Do you think, as you move through your life, that it will be helpful for
you to practice reasoning skills to strengthen your mind? Why
do you think so?
Tell students:
When your mind is wrapped around daily concerns, you will not be
able to sense an attack that is about to happen.
When your mind is calm and the cup is empty! you can turn
up this awareness. Sensing an attack, you can try to reason with a
bully before the bully strikes.
28
2.
3.
Ask for another Volunteer to be the first approacher. Then follow up with
another one or two approachers. Move quickly! Leave enough time to give
every student a chance to be in the center of the circle, to experience being
the victim.
DO EXERCISE.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Did you lose focus for a second? If you did, what happened?
5.
LESSON 12:
Take a Stance
1.
2.
Ask students:
Do you think that the smart way to fight a bully might be to NOT
fight the bully at all? Why do you think so?
Tell students:
Taking a martial arts stance does not mean you are going to fight; it
means you are ready to fight, if necessary.
You hope, by taking this stance, that the bully will back down and
leave you alone. That, however, is not always what happens!
Hopefully, you will try all the other ways to walk away with
confidence before you take a martial arts stance.
30
2.
Use Humor. You can turn a scary situation into a funny one,
but be careful. When making jokes, dont make fun of the bully.
3.
Walk Away. Don't get into it. Walk away. This is a simple and often
overlooked way to end conflict before it ever begins. Keep walking.
4.
5.
Agree With Bully. If a bully insults you, agree with him/her. Theres
nothing cowardly about walking away from a bully. Its a simple way to
end conflict before it begins.
6.
Refuse To Fight. This may sound contrary to what youve always been
told, but one way to stop conflict is to not fight, no matter what happens.
7.
Stand Up To The Bully. This can work, but it can make some bullies
angrier. You must decide if you think this alternative will work for you.
If the bully gets angrier, try something else.
8.
Scream/Yell. A good shout or yell (Kiai) can shock and distract a bully,
giving you time to get away. Develop your Kiai; it can help.
9.
10.
Ignore The Threat. This is similar to simply walking away. You hear the
threats and you turn and walk away from the bully, even though the bully
is calling you a coward and trying to get you angry enough to react.
11.
Reason With The Bully. If you are a good talker, perhaps you and the
bully can talk it out. If you don't argue or get angry, if you act friendly,
you might convince the bully to not hurt you.
12.
Take A Martial Arts Stance: As a last resort, take a strong martial arts
stance. This tells the bully that you are prepared to protect yourself if
you are attacked. But hopefully, one or more of the first ways will work.
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C$Why is Everybody Always Picking on Us? explores the roots of prejudice. I don't think I've
seen another book like it. How wonderful if this book could be used in social studies
classrooms! I have learned where prejudice begins, how it is created, how it is perpetuated,
and how it can be resolved. This book looks at stereotypes, bigotry, discrimination,
scapegoating, racism, and more. It is a wonderfully comprehensive manual for young people
and adults alike on understanding our conditioning and the root of prejudice. American
Pride Through Education.
C$"Helps young people deal with conflict and violence by describing practical skills for Peace."
Holistic Education Review
C$We use his books and thoroughly endorse the usefulness of his methods which have high
potential in schools."
Stewart W. Twemlow, M.D. Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis Menninger Clinic and Martial
Arts School owner
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Staff
Dr. Terrence Webster-Doyle, the Education Administrator of the Atrium Society, has a
Ph.D. in Health and Human Services, a Master's degree in psychology, a life-time secondary
and community college teaching credential and draws on many years of experience in
teaching character development and conflict education prevention. He is the Director of
the Youth Peace Literacy Program that has effectively helped over 5000 children of war in
Liberia. He is the founder and Director of the Martial Arts for Peace Association and is the
author of over 60 internationally acclaimed, award winning peace educating and character
development resources used throughout the U.S. and worldwide.$
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