The Gift of Dhamma

Excels All Other Gifts

The Lord Buddha

His Holiness Somdet Phra Yannasangvorn,

The late Supreme Patriarch of the Thai Sagha
I provide knowledge to anyone who is interested in practicing
Dhamma and at the same time, I am repaying the kindness of
my preceptor by serving His Holiness Somdet Phra Yannasangvorn.

cariya Mah Boowa asampanno

Por Mae Kru Jarn, means Father, Mother, and Teacher.
The novices and monks staying with Luangta Mah Boowa
were treated as if they were his sons while Luangta himself
was regarded as both father and mother to them.

Dhamma should not be sold like goods in the market

place. Permission to reproduce this publication in any
way for free distribution, as a gift of Dhamma, is hereby
granted and no further permission need be obtained.
Reproduction in any way for commercial gain is strictly
prohibited.

First printing : November, 2014

: 6,100 copies
ISBN
: 978-616-7174-83-9
Printed by
: Silpa Siam Packaging Printing Co., Ltd.
61 Soi Phetkasem 69,
Leabklong Phasricharoen Rd., (North),
Nongkham, Bangkok, Thailand 10160
Tel. 66 2444-3351-9 Fax. 66 2444-0078
E-mail: silpasiamprinting@hotmail.com

CONTENTS
Chapter One

-- Growing Up

Early life
3
School
6
The Question of Converting to Christianity
8
Discovering the Dhamma 9
Chapter Two

-- The Worldly Life

Earning Money for Studying Abroad

An Overseas Student
The Fruits of Merit
My Feelings after Graduation
The Life of an Ice Cream Shop Manager

Chapter Three

-- Approaching the Dhamma

My First Approach to Studying Dhamma

The Fascination with Dhamma
The Movie Trailer
Resigning from My Job
My Resolution after Resigning

Chapter Four

-- The Lay Meditator

My Self-Meditating Life
Fighting against My Desires
Becoming Confident in My Dhamma Practice

Chapter Five

-- Becoming a Monk

Searching for a Temple for Ordination

Requesting Permission for Ordination

11
13
15
16
18
20

23
25
30
31
33
35

39
41
43
47

51
53
58

Chapter Six

-- A Monks Life

61

Starting My New Life as a Monk

63
The First Test as a Newly Ordained Monk
65
Changing My Perspective
69
Monastic Life at Wat Pa Baan Taad
73
Enhancing My Dhamma Practice
by Reading Luangtas Books
79
Listening to Dhamma Talks by Luangta
85
The Western Monks Listening to Dhamma of Luangta 90
A Good Meditation Teacher
92
Eating to Live
93
Fasting to Defeat the Defilements
95
Luangta Giving Advice without Me Asking
102
Beating the Fear
103
Physical Work vs. Spiritual Work
104
Putting the Right Person on the Job
107
Appropriate Time for Meditation
109
Fear of the Tiger
110
Reprimanding Students with Loving-Kindness
113
Using Anger to Trick Students
116
The Strictness of Luangta
118
Refraining from Sleep
122
Frugality of Luangta
123
Behaviors of an Arahant
124
Healthcare of Luangta
124
Dhamma Therapy
125
Luangtas Personal Attendants
127
Memory and the Truth
128
Knowledge Excluded from Tipiaka
129
Isaan Funeral Ceremony
131
Fighting without Retreating
133
No Other Interest except in the Dhamma
135

Chapter Seven

-- Moving to Wat Yannasangvararam

Goodbye to Wat Pa Baan Taad

Staying at Wat Yan
History of Wat Yan
Buildings in Wat Yan
History of Meditation Residence at Chi-On Mountain
Somdet Did Not Recognize Me
Repaying the Kindness of My Preceptor
Meditation Center on Chi-On Mountain
Routines and Responsibilities of Monks at Wat Yan
Meditation Center for Laymen
Observation of Myself
Bitten by a Snake at Wat Yan
Luangtas Visits to Wat Yan
Funeral Rites for Our Teachers
The Substitute Teacher for Luangta
Conclusion

Dhamma on the Mountain

Addendum

Daily Life Schedule of Phra Ajahn Suchart Abhijto

Glossary

137
139
142
143
144
145
148
148
149
151
153
154
155
157
158
159
160
163

181
183

Chapter One

Growing Up

My Way

Growing Up

Early Life

My father came from Suphanburi and met my

mother in Bangkok. He didnt go to school because
my grandfather passed away when dad was still young,
and my grandmother could no longer afford to send him
to school. Because of this lack of education, my dad
had done all he could do just to earn a living. Wherever
there was a job offered, he moved to work there. Because
my parents had jobs that required them to move around
frequently, it was extremely difficult for them to take care
of me, so when I turned two years old, my dad took me
to stay with my grandmother, who lived in Suphanburi,
so that she could look after me.
Living with my grandmother was an enjoyable time
in my young life. In fact, since I only saw my parents
when they visited once or twice a year, I really didnt miss
them. In fact, I hardly knew them. As we know, children
just take life as it comes to them, and my life with
grandmother was where I felt the most comfortable

My Way

it was my home. Reflecting on the influence that people

have had on my life, I realize that my grandmother
was an important figure as I grew up. She was a strict
vegetarian, and I grew up eating a mostly vegetarian diet.
When I craved noodles with meat, she suggested that
I eat plain rice porridge with peanuts instead.

Grandmother sold vegetarian dumplings to be

offered to ancestors or Chinese gods, and I often
accompanied her, wearing white clothes and watching
traditional Chinese plays at vegetarian festivals.
Spending so much time with an elderly person had
a great deal to do with shaping my personality.
My tendency to seek solitude is undoubtedly partially
influenced by my grandmother. My temperament
is best described as kind, friendly, and reserved
all most likely formed during my early years with my
grandmother.
I feel I was a relatively normal kid, usually spending
time hanging out with my friends, playing sports and
the games country market kids usually play. Yet there
was a limit to what I did, based on moral and ethical
considerationsthat is, I never broke the precepts.
Because I disliked killing animals, I always refused to go
fishing. I also refused to steal others property; it felt
uncomfortable to do so. I learned early on that lying to
others just leads to discomfort due to the fact that deep
in your mind you are aware of your own deeds.

Growing Up

During the time that I lived with my grandmother,

I would sell pork buns, dumplings, or Pa Thong Go
(Thai-style Chinese crullers), and lists of lottery winners
to earn the money to buy toys and snacks for myself.
Again, I just took this in stride, seeing opportunities to
make a little extra spending money and actually enjoying
thinking up ways to come up with the money.

I only have one sibling: a younger sister born nine

years after I was. Because of this age difference, she
did not live with me while I was with my grandmother,
and by the time she was born, I was already off to school
in Bangkok. And later, when I went to the U.S. to study,
she went to Chulalongkorn University in Bangkok.
These circumstances help explain why we never
developed a close sibling relationship. Her knowledge
and understanding of the Dhamma are limited because
it isnt something that is genetically transmitted by
parents, but from Kamma that each person has
accumulated. We were both born from the same mother
and by convention are called brother and sister, but
spiritually we are not true siblings.

My Way

School
When I reached the age to enter school, I started
First Grade at a local public school in Suphanburi, but
after only one year, my grandmother, following her
Chinese cultural background, moved me to a Chinese
primary school. The only drawback I encountered there
was that they placed me in the First Grade again.

I completed Third Grade at the age of nine or ten,

and after school was over that year, since my parents had
gotten steady construction jobs in Pattaya, I went there
to live with them. While life with my grandmother was
good, it was also great to be living with my parents again
as a family.

Not long after moving to Pattaya, my father got to

know a teacher from the Seventh Day Adventist School
(a Christian school offering English courses), and she
suggested sending me to study at their school in Bangkok.
Dad and mom discussed this opportunity and decided
to send me to Bangkok when the new school year began.
Despite the fact that I was supposed to go into the Fourth
Grade according to my age, because my previous school
taught in Chinese, I was again subject to starting over
againin the First Grade. Compared to kids my own age,
I was way behind them because I had to study in the
First Grade for three years.
My progress in school changed, however, after
my first year. After one year, I was eligible to skip to
Third Grade, and then after that year, to skip Fourth and

Growing Up

Fifth Grades and go on to Sixth Grade. This helped me

close the gap in age with my classmates.

During the time that I was a student in Bangkok,

my parents ran a restaurant in Pattaya, and I would come
back home on weekends and summer breaks, working
as a waiter and assisting customers and even sometimes
guiding tourists. Looking back, I see that this was a good
opportunity to learn about the realities of working life.
While the school in Bangkok was a Christian school,
I found that their religious beliefs and teachings on
abstaining from unwholesome deeds were similar to the
five precepts in Buddhism, such as not killing animals,
not stealing property, and not lying. And the school
provided only vegan food, a diet followed by many
Buddhists. But even though there were many similarities,
there were some fundamental differences, especially
the potential for meditation to end all forms of suffering
that is the centerpiece of Buddhism.

Just when I was beginning to feel as if I was on track

with my education, a school inspection by the Thai
Ministry of Education revealed that the school failed to
meet legal requirements, and it was closed for about
three months. When the school reopened, one of the
changes I remember was not in the curriculum but in the
dress code. Previously, students had been allowed to
wear whatever outfits they wanted, like many foreign
schools, but the new dress code required a white shirt
with the students name on it and trousers just like the
vocational students.

My Way

The Question of Converting

to Christianity
During my time at the Seventh Day Adventist School,
the school gave an incentive to students to pay only
half of the tuition if they converted to Christianity. I was
almost convinced initially to take this opportunity to help
my family by cutting my expenses. And since I wasnt into
Buddhism (my folks had never taught me about religion
or even gone to a temple), I gave a great deal of thought
to converting.

I didnt immediately respond and when later asked

whether I would agree to convert to Christianity, I decided
not to. The financial advantage to my family couldnt
override my inability to believe in God, as well as other
doctrines of Christianity. After considerable thought and
vacillation, I had to be true to myself. I had to say no.
There was something about committing to a religion for
monetary benefit that felt like too big a compromise
as if I was, in a way, lying.

Growing Up

Discovering the Dhamma

I discovered the Dhamma when I was very young
about twelve years of age. It was a life experience that
was so powerful that it changed the way I saw life and
death. One of my classmates at the Seventh Day Adventist
School passed away, and the funeral ceremony had an
open casket so that we could pay respect to the deceased.
What I saw spontaneously and distinctly imprinted on
my mind throughout the ceremony that I would be
just the same as him in the futureas would my family
members and literally everyone.

So I kept thinking about death long after I left the

ceremony. I had not fully accepted death yet and still
feared it to some extent, but I had begun the process of
seeing it as a normal, natural occurrence, something that
all of us would eventually face. What struck me was that
I didnt feel sad at all. I analyzed it logically, much like
a scientist who, for example, analyzes the economic ups
and downs with an unbiased mind.

Consequently, this discovery led to overcoming

attachment and craving. However, my attachment and
craving couldnt be entirely eliminated because the
mind was not able to contemplate and stay focused on
a continuous basis.

10

My Way

Chapter Two

The Worldly Life

12

My Way

The Worldly Life

Earning Money
for Studying Abroad

fter graduating from high school

in 1966, I didnt go to college or university

in Thailand right away. Because the Seventh Day Adventist
School I attended had not been accredited by the Ministry
of Education, the students were not eligible to take
entrance examinations for any university in Thailand.
The only option to further my education was to study
overseas, and this applied to most of my school friends.
As for me, knowing that my parents financial situation
would not enable them to send me abroad to study,
I moved back home to find a job and begin the process
of saving money.
I got a job near U-Tapao airport working as a typist,
and while that was my official job, I was also assigned
additional responsibilities such as translating for
Westerners, driving, and purchasing. And even though
I worked at a variety of tasks from 7:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.,
Monday through Saturday, it wasnt too taxing. So I would
also work on Sunday, being paid double time. Being able
to borrow my fathers Mazda pickup truck was helpful
in cutting down my commuting time.

13

14

My Way

My desire to go overseas and seek new experiences

gave me the motivation to keep up this seven-day work
week so that I could save sufficient funds for my studies
abroad. Something in my nature made me sympathize
with my parents and I knew how difficult it was to make
ends meet, so right from the start I was committed to
trying to earn the money for my studies without asking
them to sacrifice.
After about a year, I had saved 30,000 baht, which
I naively figured would be enough for my studies abroad.
Then I began the process of finding and applying to
schools and buying a plane ticket.

I never expected to be able to rely on my family

at all. I planned to rely on myself using my savings to
cover the first portion of my stay in the States and then
to study and work simultaneously. It didnt matter if
I graduated or not, assuming that even if I failed to finish
my degree, what I learned and experienced would be
better than not going abroad at all. My thinking was that
even if I were only able to stay for two years, I wouldnt
regret it. In fact, going overseas let me gain experience
from inside and outside the classroomopening me up
to experiences and ideas that I would never have been
exposed to in Thailand.
Approaching my 20th birthday, I said goodbye to
my parents on the departure day in fall 1967 and told
them that I didnt mind if they didnt send me money.
But as parents tend to do, they saved what they could
and each month transferred money that helped cover
about half my expenses. By working during vacations

The Worldly Life

and even sometimes during the academic semesters,

I was able to make up the difference. While I didnt live
comfortably, I managed to get by.

An Overseas Student
One advantage of having studied at a high school
that offered international programs was that my language
proficiency was advanced enough to enable me to avoid
long remedial language instruction when I entered
junior college in the U.S. After two and a half years there,
I transferred to California State University, where I spent
another two and a half years working towards a Bachelor
of Science degree in Civil Engineering. The choice of
major was based on the fact that I was always more
interested in mathematics than in the humanities.
The usual four-year university study extended to
five years for two reasons. Working to pay for school and
expenses, I was not always able to focus fully on my
studies and had to retake some courses in which I had
not performed well enough. Though this might appear
to have been a waste of time, it didnt really matter
to me. I wasnt in a hurry to graduate and knew that
sooner or later I would graduateknowing that things
happen according to conditions over which we have
little, or even no, control.

Life as a student in the U.S. was demanding.

Between working to support myself and studying,
there wasnt much time for anything else. I lived the life

15

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My Way

of a poor student, even having to skip meals when my

money ran out. There were days when I only had enough
money for one meal, and I reluctantly took a job washing
dishes because both hunger and cold weather made it
extremely difficult to focus on my studies.

After graduation, I decided to return to Thailand

by traveling through Europe. Taking a flight to Belgium,
I boarded a train and visited the Netherlands, Denmark,
Sweden, Norway, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, France,
and Italy. I had wanted to visit the U. K., but I would have
had to get a separate visa just to enter.

With my belongings in a backpack, I slept in YMCAs,

student dorms that cost US$1.00 a night, and even on the
night train trips between countries. Likewise, I rarely
spent more than US$1.00 on food and even visited
some places that offered free food and drinklike
a brewery that offered free beer. Throughout the trip,
I spent roughly US$5.00 per day.

The Fruits of Merit

One event that happened on a trip to the U. S. gave
me some insight into merit.

I was on a plane from Osaka to Tokyo and found

myself sitting next to a flight attendant during a break in
her work. Because of some rough weather, she remained
in the seat for quite a while, and we had a nice chat. I told
her that I was going directly to the U. S. for my studies

The Worldly Life

and wouldnt have a chance to visit Tokyo. She said that

it was unfortunate that I wouldnt get to see this amazing
city and if I were to be staying, she would be glad to
give me a tour. Even though she knew I was just passing
through, she gave me her address anyway.

Due to bad weather, I missed my connecting flight

from Tokyo to Hawaii and because the standard rooms
typically reserved for passengers were all occupied, I was
put up in the Okura, a luxurious, five-star hotel. It was
already 10:00 p.m. when I reached the hotel, but I decided
to see if I could get in touch with the nice person who
had generously offered to show me her city. I asked the
receptionist how I might contact her and she offered to
help me send a telegram with my hotel and room number
in the message. Amazingly, at 8:00 a.m. the next morning,
there she was, ready to show me the city. We spent
the whole day seeing the sights, with her pointing out
places of interest and explaining their significance.
I had, by chance, been put up in a free, first class
hotel, had my food paid for, and equally by chance
had met a nice person who took a day out of her busy
life to show a stranger around Tokyo. What could have
been a negative, uncomfortable travel delay became a
memorable, pleasant experience. It seemed to me that
perhaps this was the fruit of merit that I had made in
the past.

17

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My Way

My Feelings after Graduation

After my studies were over in the U. S., I had no
motivation to work for money. I was solely in search of
true happiness; it seemed like there was fuel to light
the fire of spiritual life. I had wondered what the key to
happiness actually was but never had a clue. All I knew
was that it definitely wasnt gained by working, having
a family, or being wealthy.

Id always been fond of peace and solitude and

wasnt really into socializing with others even though
I occasionally joined my friends when necessary. I loved
to go to the forest, the mountains and the beach and
was the happiest when I was surrounded by nature.

So, after returning to Thailand, I was worn out

from the grind of studying and working and wasnt
really very enthusiastic about finding a job. I questioned
whether life was about long hours hustling to make
money. I had just spent several years working long hours
to save money to get to the U.S., then spent five years
studying and working, and now being faced with the
prospect of finding another job that I would labor at
for 30 years until retirement made me seriously question
if there was nothing more to life than that.
Luckily, I had saved enough money from my work
in the States to enable me to live for another year without
being forced to seek a job. I felt that I needed, and deserved,
a well-earned rest. I enjoyed swimming, sun bathing,
and reading books. Sometimes I got books from people

The Worldly Life

I knew; sometimes I exchanged them with tourists.

Often, though, I just read books at a bookstore so that
I didnt have to buy them. I read novels about the
philosophy of life, gaining insights into the choices
people make in their lives. Some went along with the
crowd, working and getting married; others led spiritual
lives in the forest seeking the truth of life, but my questions
about life went unanswered.
Eventually, I realized that I had to find a job to support
myself, but in looking for one, I decided that I would only
take a job I liked. Just before I ran out of money, a friend
came to Pattaya to design an ice cream shop for a Western
owner, and when I found out that he didnt have a manager,
I offered my service and described my previous experience
in the ice cream shop in the States. After a meeting with
the owner, I was given the job and began work that I was
comfortable with.

So, here I was, an engineering graduate working in

an ice cream shop. I had made up my mind that I didnt
have the desire to do engineering work because dealing
with calculations would keep me thinking and prevent
me from having a peace of mind. Because a career was
not what I was looking for, and being rich wasnt a
priority, I figured that Id just do what was easy and
relaxed. I had made up my mind that a stressful, hectic
job was the antithesis of what I wanted in life. A job
that enabled me to live simplymanaging an ice cream
shopwas just the ticket.
At this point in my life I had come to the conclusion
that money, and the things that it buysexpensive car,

19

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My Way

gourmet food, a luxurious housecreated a circular

pressure to continue to earn more money to pay for them
all. To me, a simple life with a cup or two of noodles and
minimal expenses just seemed to be more reasonable.
I found myself quite content to work at the shop a short
distance from my house and live on 20 baht a day.

The Life of
an Ice Cream Shop Manager
Working for a Western entrepreneur, I found the
job quite easy. Since he wanted to serve ice cream like
it was served in the States (with flavored toppings
something quite uncommon in Thailand at that time),
I just applied what I had learned in my job while I was a
student. I was in charge of setting up the operation,
hiring and training staff, and ordering supplies for the
shop. What was ironic about this job was that it paid
a higher salary than that of an engineer in Bangkok
where I would still have to rent a house and commute.
In Pattaya, I could live at home, take a one-baht minibus
to work, and make a higher salary doing relatively easy
work.
As things progressed, I found that I didnt have to
work all day long and just made sure that things were
running smoothly. After that, I could read the newspaper,
have some coffee, or even take a swim in the sea.
And when the shop got busy, wed all pitch in and help
each other. Since weekends were high volume days,

The Worldly Life

the weekdays were often relaxed, providing me with a

comfortable lifestyle. During this period I was quite
contented with the way things were going along.

21

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My Way

Chapter Three

Approaching
the Dhamma

24

My Way

Approaching the Dhamma

My First Approach
to Studying Dhamma

y first attempt at meditation

was a slow process of reading and
waiting for the motivation to commit to actually
meditating.

After working for two months, by chance I was

chatting with a tourist in Pattaya. He found out that I was
interested in Dhamma, so he gave me a Dhamma book,
which was the first English Dhamma book I read.
A small book of about 20 pages, it was originally
from Tipiaka (the Pli Canon) and translated into
English by a Western monk. The book focused on Anicca,
known as impermanence, and the comparison between
the Buddhas teachings and those of philosophers
from the West. As I read through it, I found the book
enlightening.
Apart from Anicca, the Lord Buddha also taught
about Magga, referring to the Path for dealing with
uncertainty. From the book, I realized the significance of
meditation. It would calm your mind so that you would

25

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My Way

be capable of accepting any changes or conditions. If you

didnt have peace of mind, you would not be able to
accept the changes in your life. But if you were mindful,
you would not be affected by uncertain situations.
Then I wrote a letter to Sri Lanka requesting more
Dhamma books, and they sent back the books of The
Three Basic Facts of Existence, Dhammacakkappavattana
Sutta (The Wheel of the Dhamma) , and Mah Satipahna
Sutta (The Four Foundations of Mindfulness). I relied
most heavily on Mah Satipahna Sutta, taking it as
my teacher and my guide to practice meditation.

In this Sutta, the monks are taught to start with

sitting meditation and find a quiet place under a tree,
in the forest or on a mountain. The book suggests
sitting crossed-legged with eyes closed and consciously
watching the breath throughout the practice. When the
meditation is over, a monk must continue to be aware
of four body postures: standing, walking, sitting, and
lying down. Another meditation object is repulsiveness
towards 32 body parts. Also, he needs to contemplate
corpses in various states of decomposition. It is required
that a monk contemplate Vedan, or feeling, when it
arises in order to understand whether it is a pleasant
feeling, a painful feeling, or neither a painful-norpleasant feeling. Moreover, he should contemplate
the nature of arising and vanishing in the feelings.
Then, contemplating Anicca (impermanence), Dukkha
(suffering), and Anatt (not-self), he simply lets go,
not clinging to anything.

Approaching the Dhamma

I had been reading the books for nearly three

months without practicing sitting meditation until
one day I asked myself, Why dont I just start
meditating? Once I was conscious that I was wasting
my time, I immediately started sitting meditation, and
that was the beginning of my virtue practice. If I didnt
start doing it, I would end up not practicing and would
be distracted by other issues all the time. I would be
procrastinating or postponing the practice to next week,
next month, or after getting other things done.
At the very beginning of the practice, I felt restless
and distracted from breathing exercises, so I recited Mah
Satipahna Sutta in English while sitting, which took
approximately 40 minutes before meditating.

Therefore, for new practitioners, if you are distracted,

you can resort to chanting, instead of saying Buddho
Buddho, or visualizing breaths. Chanting is another form
of meditation practice. To follow this approach, its not
necessary to have palms joined at the chest or to sit
sideways. You can sit with legs crossed, like when doing
sitting meditation, and keep chanting. The key is to be
mindful when chanting. The longer you do the chanting,
the longer you can sit and maintain the inner peace.
Reciting the Buddhas name, Buddho, Buddho, tends
to leave a gap between words, enabling strayed thought
and disturbance of body aches; however, being attentive
to chanting produces less pain because the mind is
concentrating solely on chanting and disregarding
feelings created by the body. After the chanting session
of about 30-40 minutes, you will feel lighter.

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My Way

When chanting Mah Satipahna Sutta, you will

understand the Lord Buddhas teaching. The Lord Buddha
taught us to be mindful by contemplating the body,
feeling, mind and phenomena. The meditation of body
awareness comes in several strategies. To exemplify,
we should be mindful of the four postures. A person
should be mindful when walking, standing, sitting, or
lying down. Alternatively, other meditation objects
could be the contemplation of the 32 body parts, or
awareness of the present actions and activities of the
body, such as speaking, facing to the left and to the right.
These techniques could help foster mindfulness. In the
presence of mindfulness, thoughts are under control,
adhering to breaths or the words Buddho, Buddho
so that the mind would not wander.

Next, I concentrated on my breath where my mind

would attain happiness and tranquility. Though my mind
didnt go deep, it wasnt restless. It only went deeper
when experiencing bodily pain while sitting. At that
moment, I automatically realized that I had to depend
on a meditation object, so I chose to recite the words
Anicca, Anicca, which I did not have to do for long. After
doing so, the pain immediately disappeared, allowing
the mind to stay in peace. I was amazed by the potential
of the meditation object to change the state of mind.
At first, the suffering in mind occurs when experiencing
unbearable pain. You would like to get rid of the pain and
want it to vanish. At that particular moment, if there is
nothing to control the mind, you will no longer want to
bear the pain or continue sitting. Reciting the mantra
only for a short time will cause the pain to vanish and let

Approaching the Dhamma

the mind become cool and calm. Just let the mind stay in
that meditative state until it withdraws from that state
before you get up to do other things.

Always be mindful when standing up. Even before

standing up, you should be mindful that you are going to
stand up and try to be present all the time. To demonstrate,
you can practice contemplation of the body (Kyagatsati) through the four body postures. You will be
constantly mindful when you are going to do sitting
meditation, as well as when standing, walking, and
lying down. When walking, you may feel like chanting
which is another approach to help bring the mind back
from wandering. The chanting could be applied through
four postures: walking, standing, sitting, or lying down.
For me, the Dhamma was easily understood
because I read Dhamma books in English, which did not
contain royal or hierarchical terms, but only simple
words. For instance, the word eat is being used when
communicating with the Lord Buddha or a beggar, and
all classes of people comprehend this term, no matter
who they are. It was easier that way. I usually got confused
by royal or holy words because I was not familiar with
those terms. Those with good English will find the English
version of Dhamma easier to understand.

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My Way

The Fascination with Dhamma

In terms of Dna (giving), since I didnt have many
possessions, there was no need for me to contribute
much, yet I always helped those who were in trouble.
When I was a layman, I had never given foods to monks
during the morning alms round or been to a temple
even once. Also, I had no clue about how temples or
monasteries functioned. I only learned about Dhamma
from the books. The reason why I did not make merit
was that I had nothing to give. All I had was just enough
to support myself. However, I wasnt concerned about
not contributing because I had been helping people
all along. When I could, I was more than happy to help
those who were in need; I had never been selfish. I knew
that I already had Dna within my heart as I was never
possessive or clinging to my belongings, and I didnt have
a lot of money or material things with me.
Regarding the five precepts, I never killed living
beings, told lies, or stole. I always kept precepts in mind
as I never dared to commit a sin. It just wasnt in my
nature and would only make me feel bad if I did.

The only thing lacking was meditation. All I would

do was meditate and develop mindfulness as an attempt
to keep the mind calm and to contemplate Ti-lakkha
(the Three States of Impermanence, Suffering and
Uncertainty) with total attention. Thus, I gave it a try
by practicing little by little until I felt I was doing fine
with it. The more deeply I went into it, the more clear it
became that everything was totally meaningless.

Approaching the Dhamma

The Movie Trailer

Having peace of mind is better than getting millions
of dollars because a peaceful mind is considerably better
and more valuable than wealth. Peace of mind cannot be
purchased, no matter how much money one has.
Formerly, I was not interested in religion. A liberal
who considered religion as being old-fashioned, I was
hesitant to believe because I found religious people were
superstitious. They foolishly believed in what couldnt
be proved. Some religions make people believe without
proof, but Buddhism is different.

The Buddhist teachings are provable, teaching that

the root cause of suffering is actually desire. The way to
stop suffering, therefore, is to abandon ones desires.
I followed the teachings, and once I stopped my desire,
the suffering (Dukkha) was just gone. As a consequence,
I became convinced that the Buddhist teachings were
real and accurate, and always helpful when being attacked
by suffering.
When studying a religion, one must take notice
of the mind in order to determine the effectiveness
of the teachings towards ones mind. If it can lessen
the suffering, then it is effective. However, when
observing the ability of each religion to completely
remove suffering, the majority of the religions appear
to only help reduce the suffering at some level, while
Buddhism is the only religion that is capable of entirely
eliminating it.

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My Way

Before I decided to quit my job, I had already

observed the movie trailera hint of the profound
power of Buddhism. Otherwise, I absolutely couldnt have
made such a decision. The trailer for Buddhism refers
to the state of mind where the pain was completely
dispelled by the method of recitation. When the aches
occurred, recitation of mantras was constantly performed
and it took only a short time for the pain to disappear.
This resulted in the feelings of lightness, relief, and
comfort. Previously I underwent enormous suffering due
to great pain, but reciting incessantly led to overcoming
the pain.
However, a preview was just a guide or sample.
It was not the whole movie. It was more like offering a
sample for me to know what the fruit of meditation was
like, and that I was on the right track. This was what
I had been searching for throughout my life and never
realized where it was hidden. Once I had found it,
I learned that it took time and dedication to successfully
attain the fruits. Realizing the truth, I decided to follow
this path.

I looked forward with full hope in the Dhamma

path, which I believed I was able to follow to the fullest.
Whoever becomes fond of Dhamma practice would see
that being a monk is the best life path. The Lord Buddha
created the path for us to follow. Monks sole duty is
to meditate. If one studied the path taught by the Lord
Buddha, he would be aware that his principal teachings
are referred to merely as Bhvan, or meditation,
which could be achieved through the cultivation of Sla
(morality), Samdhi (calm and stability of the heart),
and Pa (wisdom).

Approaching the Dhamma

Resigning from My Job

Before making a decision to resign from my job to
undertake meditation, I already had some experiences
of Samdhi, or mental concentration, where physical pain
or muscle soreness gradually arose when practicing
sitting meditation. After reciting the word Anicca
(impermanence) for a while, I felt free from the pain and
hurt I was holding on to. At this point, the mind had
entered a deep mental stage where the pain here and
there no longer persisted. I was surprised at how little
time it took for the agitated mind to become calm. Hence,
I came to understand that all existence was subject to
change and decay.
Without concern for money or material things and
being content to eat street noodles or food at a hotel,
I was able to concentrate on that which concerned me:
my mind which was restless, unstable, and emotionally
responsive to interferences, and needed to be improved.

Once I started meditating, I was happy and knew

that I was on the right track. My goal was to achieve
happiness. I did not want anything else on earth because
I had seen wealthy people who were not really happy
with their lives. They were faced with chaos and numerous
problems. I never ever wanted to have an issue with
anyone. All I wanted was freedom where I could be
myself and live my own life, so I assumed that this path
seemed to suit me best.

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My Way

However, when I was not practicing meditation

and became involved with business, turbulence occupied
my mind when unsettled issues arose at work. In my
head there were endless thoughts, which made it hard
to keep my mind calm. Therefore, I learned that work
was an obstacle and a hindrance that caused restless
mind. If a practitioner sought tranquility and happiness,
he would need to give up his working life.

However, if he had to work to support himself,

it would be necessary for him to save enough money
for future expenses. When he earned enough money
to sustain his life, the option of leaving a job was then
feasible.

In my case, after six months of working, I saved up

about 6,000 baht, which, I believed, would be enough for
a year of living, so I quit my job.
When I submitted my resignation, the owner of
the ice-cream shop thought that my reason for leaving
the job was to negotiate a higher salary. He asked me
if I wanted a higher salary or not. I denied it and told
him that I had a chance to study Dhamma and practice
meditation. I found out that work and meditation were
totally contradictory, and I was determined to cultivate
a more meditative life. I had been through numerous
work experiences, had observed secular happiness,
and had traveled a lot already. However, I hadnt found
the serenity that I expected, and I was yet eager to
experience more. This led to my decision to resign from
the job. I planned to commit to meditation practice
for one year, to give it a try and see how it would turn out,

Approaching the Dhamma

and also to see if I could progress on this path or not.

If the outcome was promising, I would enter the monkhood. And if it didnt go well, I would return to work and
give up meditation. I could only choose one.

Practicing meditation along with working was just

like mixing hot water with cold water. It was neither hot
nor coldjust warm. That was the same scenario as
being sort of progressive in meditation and still having
a job at the same time. The attainment of Dhamma
wouldnt be as successful as it should be because these
two factors were totally poles apart. It was time for me
to choose, so I decided to quit my job and take one year
off to undertake meditation practice.

I notified the owner in November, which was one

month ahead of my resignation. My last day of work was
on December 31, 1973. I had worked for the company
for six months in total.

My Resolution after Resigning

I resolved that I would not satisfy my sensual desire.

My intention was not to seek happiness through the five
physical senses; the eyes, the ears, the nose, the tongue,
and the body. I would dedicate myself to meditation
only and cultivate my awareness based on the Four
Foundations of Mindfulness.
At the early stage of my practice, I did sitting
meditation on my own. After practicing for a while, I felt

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My Way

calm and stable, so I was determined to do more meditation.

In November, when I had made up my mind that I would
resign at the end of the year, I made a commitment to
myself to practice meditation for a year and not to do any
irrelevant duties. I would also limit the food to a single
meal before noon. My daily schedule mainly consisted
of doing walking and sitting meditation, and reading
Dhamma books. I would no longer seek happiness
from the outside world like I used to. Formerly, after
I woke up, I just had to leave home and go to the beach,
or anywhere else as long as I could go outside. However,
I made a decision not to do that anymore. I would just
stay home and meditate. If I did go outside, it would be
to find a peaceful and quiet place in a new environment
for me to meditate. The place could be a quiet corner
along the beach, or I might stay overnight on an island.
I was determined to try to sustain this regimen for about
a year.

Approaching the Dhamma

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My Way

Chapter Four

The Lay Meditator

40

My Way

The Lay Meditator

My Self-Meditating Life

fter resigning from the job,

I started by locking myself up in my place
on January 1, 1974. I was fortunate that my parents had
a vacant town home located near Na Kluea market, and
it was like living in a temple because I was alone in the
house. I spent most of my time there for the better part
of a year. Apart from my place, I might spend a night on
an island or elsewhere from time to time, but generally
I lived alone at home.

After getting up in the morning, I started my day

with sitting meditation. I chanted the Sutta and practiced
breathing meditation before washing my face and doing
everything else that needed to be done. Then I came down
to practice walking meditation, read Dhamma books and
do sitting meditation alternately.
Regarding the food, I sometimes cooked for myself
or would dine out for one meal per day. I also observed
the eight precepts which kept me away from sensual
pleasures, consisting of visible objects, taste, scents,

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My Way

sounds, and tangible objects. I basically stayed at home

and cleaned up my house. However, I never went to a
temple; I just practiced as I was guided by the books.

Practicing by myself, spending five baht a day was

already enough for me since I only had one meal a day.
In those days, it cost 3 baht for a plate of rice and 2 baht
for a single bowl of noodles. Having a dish of rice and
a bowl of noodles once a day was more than enough for
me. There was no need to use much money for my life.

Even before engaging in Dhamma practice, I was

never that particular about food and ate anything that
I was served. Also, it was unnecessary for me to go to
restaurants recommended by a food expert. Street noodles
were fine as long as they could satisfy my hunger. When
I just came back from the U.S., I was selective with
restaurants and usually went to an air-conditioned
restaurant with food service staff, but that changed as
I became centered on a meditative existence.
I loved to be free, so I voluntarily lived an impoverished
life. I didnt want to work under anyone, especially negative
people who had the power to command others just
because they were richer. Eventually, I settled into a
monk-like daily life, living simply, avoiding distractions,
and concentrating each day on the Dhamma.

The Lay Meditator

Fighting against My Desires

I still got defeated by the Kilesas, or defilements,
now and then. For example, when doing sitting meditation,
the pain had increased and become so unbearable
that I needed to adjust my sitting postures. Sometimes
I resisted it. Sometimes I grew tolerant. Sometimes I was
weak and discouraged. Sometimes I was inclined to
surrender. These were normal scenarios that could
happen in the fight. I was disheartened when doing
something extremely difficult as well, yet I was aware
that I couldnt step backwards and just give up the struggle.
I had already made my commitment to pursue this path,
so I had to carry on in any circumstances. If I was still
alive, I would not retreat. Fortunately, I was able to stick
with it.
During that first year of Dhamma study and
meditation, I did sitting meditation, walking meditation,
and Dhamma reading. I tried to curb my desire to go out
and not to follow my craving as I knew how it would turn
out in the end. Though I would feel joyful going outside
initially, I knew I would also end up feeling lonesome and
sad once I came back home. I figured that it was better
for me to put up with my own desire in the first place
and to get over sadness and loneliness within me. I was
aware that it was the defilements and emotion created
by the mind. If I concentrated on sitting and walking
practice for some time, those defilements and
emotions would be absent eventually, and I found that
was the right way to handle them.

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My Way

When feelings of loneliness and bleakness came

over me, there was a strong internal force tempting me
to go out and seek activity just to escape. But my
meditation over time enabled me to see clearly the
inevitable return of the desperation, leading me to realize
both the futility and seduction of the desire to go out.

Eventually, this apparent problem became an

excellent teacher. I saw clearly that the feelings were not
permanent, and knowing this, I was encouraged to
overcome loneliness by not going out no matter how sad
I would become. With Dhamma guidance, one would be
on the right track to fix the problem because meditation
practice would help eradicate such feelings.
During the first year of practice, I found my mind
entered Samdhi stage. However, it alternated between
feelings of serenity during meditation, and restlessness.
When I withdrew from meditation, my mind jumped
from one thought to another. Accordingly, I had to resume
sitting or walking meditation in order to regulate
the mind. When the mind was successfully stabilized,
the serenity of heart established itself.

When the mind was left uncontrolled, a few moments

later it would start wandering and running around again,
which made it necessary to have Samdhi reestablished.
It seemed like fighting back and forth between the mind
and the defilements.
Sometimes when I had a desire to hang out, I had
to get over it by using Pa, or wisdom, to teach the
mind that going out meant falling back. I felt I had

The Lay Meditator

come so far, like I had climbed the mountain and already

reached higher levels. Going out was simply equivalent
to returning to the starting point. If I did, I knew that
it would mean climbing all over again in order to get to
the summit. At the same time, I realized that I would
reach even higher levels if I refrained from following
the desire in my heart to go out. I had reached the stage
of my practice where I preferred to continue climbing up
and not following the desire in my heart. I exerted myself
to resist my own cravings of going outside until they
vanished. The agitation caused by the desire to go out,
which resulted in an extreme frustration and suffering
in my mind, was slowly softened by Sati, or mindfulness,
and when the mind knew that the desire wouldnt be
fulfilled, it stopped asking for it. As a result, the mind
came into peace. I constantly practiced this until one day
I asked myself this question:
I have never remained seated in one place at all.
Why dont I give it a try today?

Then I got a comfortable chair for myself to sit on,

and placed some water within my reach. I intended to
do nothing. I would neither watch nor listen to anything,
and I would either meditate or investigate Dhamma.
If there occurred muscle fatigue due to prolonged sitting,
I would stand up or go to the bathroom. Apart from those
mentioned, I would never leave the chair.

I started sitting late in the morning after breakfast,

and I made up my mind that I would be sitting there
till dusk. When the light needed to be turned on, I would
get out of the chair. I had to resist the desire to do this

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My Way

and thatto move just for the sake of moving. I fought

my cravings by using meditation, reciting Buddho, and
contemplating Dhamma. Nonetheless, I would not be
reading or listening to anything. All I did most of the time
was just to battle with my own desires.

Alternatively, I might be watching my breath, gazing

at the body, investigating 32 body parts, contemplating
corpses, and contemplating the five sensual pleasures
(visible objects, taste, odor, sound, and tangible
objects) and perceiving them as Ti-lakkhaa (the Three
Characteristics of Existence - Impermanence, Suffering,
and Not-Self). I kept practicing like this, contemplating
and strictly following the Dhamma.
Since I realized that desires were identified as
Dukkha, or suffering, I no longer searched for, watched,
listened to, and indulged in visible objects, taste, odor,
sound, and tangible objects. I consumed only the things
necessary for the body. For instance, it was necessary
to eat for health, and I just ate anything that was available.
Also, I only drank plain water, not any other beverages.

The Lay Meditator

Becoming Confident in
My Dhamma Practice
My practice of Dhamma based on a book on the
Mah Satipahna Sutta continued without any advice
from teachers or mentors. I took this book as my teacher
throughout one year-long commitment to self-meditation.
I had never doubted the Buddha, Dhamma, and Sagha
regarding their existence at any stage. As I was reading
the Dhamma book, it seemed like the Lord Buddha was
teaching me the Dhamma directly. Despite the fact that
his teachings originated 2,500 years ago, they remained
genuine just like I was listening to the teachings straight
from his mouth, giving me confidence in them.
Apart from doing meditation and attaining mindfulness, I also worked on contemplative wisdom, or
Pa, in accordance with the Satipahna Sutta. I mostly
dwelled observing the body. I also continued the constant
battle with the Vedan (feeling) and tried to overcome
the desires within me. The previously mentioned struggle
with the desire to go out and have fun was not easily
overcome. Such feelings occurred as a consequence of
inconsistent meditation practice. It became apparent
that the calmness when the mind entered into Samdhi
was not going to be permanent, and that my meditation
was going to have to strengthen before the long-hopedfor steady calmness would establish itself. It also became
clear that expecting permanent peace was, at this stage,
unrealistic.

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My Way

However, I looked deep within and knew that

this battle with desires was at the core of suffering, that
the sense of loneliness and sadness would reassert
itself, and that I had to take immediate action right
at that moment to establish awareness, contemplate
the Dhamma, or meditate to calm the mind. Otherwise,
the thoughts would turn to be overwhelming in the
passage of time. It was essential to carry on combating
the desires, and keep it up incessantly until there was
no room for the mind to think of anything futile and
irrelevant. By following this, the mind would be developing
and progressing as a result. Throughout the day, I would
alternate walking and sitting meditation, or I would read
Dhamma books. Of course, there were times when I had
to do necessary household chores: cleaning the floor,
washing clothes, cooking food, or eating. I had to make
sure that I was mindful in whatever activity or duty I was
doing so that the mind wouldnt wander.
After completing the chores, the practice session
was to continue as I might be switching between walking
and sitting meditation. I gradually came to the point
where I could see that at the moment that my activity
changed, the mind would create an opportunity to
insinuate a feelingoften a distracting one. I sharpened
my awareness so that I would not be absent-minded
or buzzing with reminiscences or sweet memories as
this could potentially trigger lonely feelings and make
me sad about missing my friends. Even though I was
sometimes absent-minded, I quickly began sitting or
walking meditation practice right after I was aware of it
in order to prevent daydreaming or distracted mind.

The Lay Meditator

When Sati, or mindfulness, is discontinuous and

one is not aware, the defilements, quickly take over
the mind. If one is unable to realize it in time, it will
generate intense pain within the mind, requiring a huge
amount of effort just to bring the mind back into the
Samdhi stage again.

It was natural for the mind to be in pain and misery,

yet it wasnt terrible since there were also advantages.
When the pain was gone, it was like being saved from the
devil. Being released from the control of the defilements
was truly a relief, even a joy. The heart was free from
distractions and delusional seductions. It could be happy
even when it didnt have anything to do. This was a truly
rewarding experience.

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My Way

Chapter Five

Becoming a Monk

52

My Way

Becoming a Monk

Searching for a Temple

for Ordination

or me, I wasnt sure if it was due TO

my past good deeds or not that unexpectedly
there was always a way for me to go. I had never thought
of becoming a monk due to my non-religious family
background. As mentioned earlier, I attended Christian
school, and I almost converted, but eventually changed
my mind. Also, the Dhamma books that I got were from
a Western tourist in Pattaya, not from any temple. Prior
to my Dhamma practice, I had never gone to a temple or
known any teacher as I self-studied.

Since the very beginning of solitary practice, as

a layperson, I had never even wished to be ordained
at all. I thought if I had come from a rich family with a lot
of money, to sustain my life, I certainly would not have
become a monk. I would be a layman practicing Dhamma
in my way. As my budget was adequate for a year of
Dhamma practice, I chose to do it at home for that time
period only.

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My Way

When the end of the year arrived, I asked myself

what I was supposed to be doing next. There were two
options for me. The first one was to continue living as
a layman and find a new job. As I saw it, a days work
would take me eight hours. I would then have to spend
two more hours per day commuting to the workplace.
Added to that, I would end up being very tired when
I arrived home. Thus, there wouldnt be much time left
for the intense practice, day and night, which had become
such an integral part of my life over the past year. It became
quite clear that if I wished to continue meditation like
I did for a year, I would need to be ordained.
I was in a dilemma at that time. I didnt want to be
a monk. I was still attracted to the defilements, which
include sensual pleasures derived from the eyes, the ears,
the nose, the tongue, the body and the freedom to travel
around. The reason behind this was that I perceived
being a monk was parallel to being imprisoned, so
I was in fear at the moment. Added to this conflict, I was
frustrated at my indecisiveness.

After careful consideration, I finally decided to

become a monk so as to have time for Dhamma practice.
Plus, I would no longer have to be worried about earning
money. After having made up my mind, I felt immensely
relieved. In fact, being ordained wouldnt be a problem
since I had been experiencing living like a monk
meditating all year long, and I had avoided being exposed
to the sensual pleasures. Each day, I was immersed in
reading Dhamma books, sitting meditation, walking
meditation, and taking one meal per day.

Becoming a Monk

Since I didnt own a lot of property or have any

money, my circumstances made the transition relatively
smooth. It was like I brought nothing with me to this
world when I was born and had nothing with me when
I left for the monkhood. I also did not have attachments
to anything, so there was nothing that could potentially
take me back to the lay life.

I decided that I had to look for a quiet and peaceful

monastery where there was no emphasis on Pariyatti
(the study of the Scriptures), ritual performances, and
invitation of monks. Moreover, the monastery I sought
should be a place where funerals or meritorious events
were never held and where there was no involvement in
any other activity that would interfere with meditation.
In my reading of the Tipiaka, there was no mention of
such work which is currently widespread. At the time of
the Lord Buddha, according to the principle of Dhamma,
monks were taught to practice meditation in the forest
right after being ordained. For these reasons, it was
essential for me to find a monastery that solely emphasized
meditation practice.

I studied the types of temples available in Thailand

before my ordination. It was coincidental that I got a book
written by an American layman named Jack Kornfield,
who had once become a monk. His book, A Guide to
Buddhist Monasteries and Meditation Centers in Thailand,
covered the monasteries that concentrated on meditation
practice in Thailand.
He made a visit to every single important monastery
across the country. He was remarkably eager to learn

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My Way

and acquire knowledge and obtained detailed information

of each monastery in regard to the teaching styles of
the senior monks, the food, and the total number of
the novices and monks. His guidebook was similar to
a travel guide listing the sightseeing highlights of
each country, containing suggestions of monasteries,
especially those of the Thai Forest Tradition and
Dhamma practice-based ones. I was able to learn
where many of the best monasteries for meditation
were located, but I had to wait until I became a monk
before I could go there.

After I decided to enter the monkhood, I went to

ask for advice from a monk at Wat Chonglom, located in
Nakluea District, Chonburi province. It was a renowned
temple of the Dhammayut order with strict discipline,
earning much respect among the local residents. During
that time, Phra Khru Viboonthammakit or Luangpor
Buagate Pathumsiro served as the abbot and was in
charge of being the preceptor of this temple. Whenever
there was no ritual or ceremony at the temple, he usually
went to study Kammahna, the way of meditation
practice, from disciples of Venerable Ajahn Mun Bhridatta
Thera (Luangpu Mun) in the Northeastern part of
Thailand. At that time Luangpor Buagate had just come
back from visiting Luangpu Fan.
I went to inform him that I wanted to be ordained,
but when I told him what kind of monastery I sought,
Luangpor Buagate kindly told me that there was no
Dhamma practice session provided at his temple since
it was a Pariyatti temple, emphasizing the study of
Scriptures. In addition, the monks there were obligated

Becoming a Monk

to study the Buddhas teachings, chant verses, partake

of a forenoon meal, participate in domestic rituals,
and accept invitations from the laity. Also, there was a
cremation site at the temple. If ordained there, it was
required that I stay under his guidance for five years,
according to the Buddhist disciplinary code.

Thus, Luangpor said that if I was willing to be a

monk and practice meditation, he recommended that
I study with one of the followers of Luangpu Mun in
Northeastern Thailand: Luangpu Chob, Luangpu Fan,
Luangpu Thate, Luangpu Khao, Luangta Mah Boowa,
or Luangpu Chah.
Luangpor Buagate suggested being ordained by
Somdet Phra Yannasangvorn (Somdet) at Wat Bowonniwet
Vihara (Wat Bowon). After the integration period,
for any monks aiming for Dhamma practice, Somdet
would give his permission for them to shift from this
temple to study with another senior monk in the Thai
Forest Tradition instead of staying with him for five years
corresponding to the Buddhist disciplinary code.
That was the first time I ever heard the name of
Luangpu Mun, because I only read the book from Sri
Lanka throughout the time of self-meditation. The book
contained the English version of discourses derived
from the Sutta, so I had no knowledge about the monks
in the Thai Forest Tradition at all.
I went straight to Wat Bowon though I didnt know
Somdet. I knew there were foreign monks residing there,
so I decided to go. Once I arrived at the temple, I ran into

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My Way

one British monk who had been ordained for ten years
(currently left the order). We had a Dhamma conversation
in English and I informed him of my intention to be
ordained at Wat Bowon. He volunteered to inform
Somdet regarding my request.
After the monk informed Somdet, I was told to meet
with him. He asked me whether I knew anyone at the
monastery or not. I answered that I didnt know anybody
because it was my first visit and that I just happened to
encounter the Western monk who had informed him
about me.
The next question was about my parents because
he thought I was homeless. I told him that I still lived
with my parents. Then Somdet told me to bring them to
meet him, and an appointment was made. I then went
back and told my parents about the appointment and
took them to meet and pay respect to Somdet.

Requesting Permission
for Ordination
Once I encountered Dhamma and experienced
meditation, I became so fascinated with it that I just went
with the flow. I had neither an issue to be concerned
with nor a problem about leaving anyone behind. I was
still single at that time and, therefore, didnt have to take
responsibility for anybody. Also, my parents were not
having problems that required my help. I made my

Becoming a Monk

commitment to this journey without any involved

planning. It was simply the way my life was supposed
to play out. Besides, I didnt have any set idea of how long
I would be ordained. I was not very attached to anything
and didnt have precise expectations of specific outcomes.
My approach was simply to carry out an action first before
evaluating the result. Then I considered the result to see
how to improve my performance. For example, if I acted
in a certain way, I would see if there was any obstacle in
the way. If so, I would try to sort it out, make improvements,
and learn from it.
When I requested permission to be ordained,
my mother congratulated me on this, but my father
disagreed as we had different points of view. My father
thought that I had come to a stage in life where I felt I
had nowhere to go, so I had to be a monk to support
myself. His perspectives were just like that. He thought
that those who became ordained were hopeless people,
but he was sure that I wasnt that type of person. In his
opinion, I was well-educated and knowledgeable, so he
wondered why I turned out to be so discouraged about
life. He perceived ordained monks as being dispirited
and dejected about life, failures in fighting for their lives,
and he wanted me to stay and fight to overcome my
problems without feeling discouraged.

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Chapter Six

A Monks Life

62

My Way

A Monks Life

Starting My New Life as a Monk

n the day of the appointment,

I took my parents to meet Somdet Phra
Yannasangvorn at Wat Bowonniwet Vihara (Wat Bowon).
Somdet discussed my decision with my parents and
scheduled the date for the ordination on February 19,
1975. Also, he would be my preceptor. In the ceremony,
I would be ordained together with the son of a general
who had recently finished his Masters degree from the
U.S. His ordination was to be temporary: only for 15 days.
There was 3,000 baht left in my savings which was
just exactly the right amount of money to buy the eight
requisites for monks consisting of the upper robe, the
lower robe, the outer robe, an alms bowl, a razor, a needle,
thread, a belt, and a water strainer. Thus, I didnt need to
ask my parents for the money.

On the ordination day, approximately 100 attendants

of the other family went to the ceremony. In contrast,
only four of my family members which included
my parents, my sister, and my cousin attended because
I didnt tell other people about this. I liked to keep things

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low-keyed, with as little fanfare as possible. I didnt even

let anybody know when I was resigning from my job.
Moreover, during a year of meditating alone at home,
I didnt tell anyone about it either. I didnt see any reason
to tell other people about my private life and this also
helped me avoid being bothered by others. Literally, there
was one other person who knew about my ordination
a fellow who sent me a telegram asking me to come to
work for him. I declined, explaining that I was about to
take my vows as a monk.

During my stay at Wat Bowon, there were some

Western monks heading to Wat Pa Baan Taad who told
me about the existence of some well-known Thai Forest
Tradition monasteries in the Northeast of Thailand,
which included the monasteries of Luangta Mah Boowa,
Luangpu Thate, and Luangpu Fan. They reinforced what
I had read in Kornfields book of these respected Forest
Monasteries, and I planned to make a trip to those places
starting with Wat Pa Baan Taad of Luangta Mah Boowa.
As I didnt know anyone there, a Western monk told
me that it was required to write a letter to Ajahn Pa
for permission in advance before going there. Ajahn
Pa was a British monk, so foreign monks would
approach him when contacting the monastery. He then
would inform Luangta of the request for permission
to stay in the monastery. If Luangta gave his consent,
they were eligible to go.
I, therefore, wrote a letter to Ajahn Pa. He took
my request to Luangta, and Luangta then gave me the
permission to stay.

A Monks Life

But first there was my training. Throughout the six

weeks of my monastic life at Wat Bowon, I was instructed
on the correct way to wear the main robe, walk alms
round, handle my requisites, and travel without being
uncomfortable or concerned about wearing the robe.
When I talked to Somdet regarding my departure and
asked for his approval to stay with Luangta Mah Boowa
at Wat Pa Baan Taad, he approved my request, but said
it really depended on Luangta whether or not he would
be allowing me to stay there. And, since I had already
gotten approval, I prepared to leave.
My departure from Bangkok was in early April,
a couple of days before the Chakri Memorial Day.
Traveling by train in the evening, I arrived at the
destination in Udon Thani very early in the morning.
Luckily, with the help of the monastery, a Buddhist
devotee picked me up at the railway station and drove
me to the monastery.

The First Test

as a Newly Ordained Monk

I had chosen to go to Wat Pa Baan Taad upon the

recommendation of a foreign monk. I had no intention
to stay there for long, but I just wanted to see what Wat
Pa Baan Taad was like and whether I would like the place.
At the same time, I also understood that even if I liked
it there, I could not be able to stay if I was not granted
permission. I did not have much expectation. I was

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simply seeking a quiet place that allowed me to have time

to practice to the fullestmy only goal. Furthermore,
at first, I did not think that having a teacher was essential
and assumed that Dhamma books would be sufficient
to guide me in this path.
All I knew was that I had to go there. I did not know
any highly respected teachers in Thailand or how to find
them because I had never read books about the practice
of Dhammayuttika-nikya monks. Most of the books
I read were about Bhikkhus (Buddhist monks) mentioned
in the Tipiaka (Buddhist Pli Canon).

When I arrived, I went directly to the meeting hall,

and it was time to go for alms round. Luangta had just
come down and I went to pay respect to him. Luangta
then said that I could not stay there for long. I could only
stay temporarily because the Kus (monks dwellings)
were all occupied. Luangta did not say anything else.
I quickly prepared my requisites and left for morning
alms round.
I felt like a newborn baby who had just been
introduced into the new world of monkhood. On the
first day of my arrival at the monastery, I realized how
incapable I was.
At Wat Pa Baan Taad, the walking pace on the way
to the village was relaxed, but after alms round it was
very fast. I had never walked that fast before. On the way
back, as soon as we went past the last devotees home,
a monk would immediately help carry Luangtas alms
bowl, and everyone else would then speed walk back to

A Monks Life

the monastery. It was like a speed-walking competition

in the Olympics. I walked with alms bowl full of sticky
rice and it was very heavy. Furthermore, the bag sling
for my alms bowl was not tightly secured, and it fell off
halfway along my way back to the monastery. I also had
to secure my main robe as it had also slipped off my
shoulder. I was so disordered that by the time I reached
Sl (meeting hall), everyone else had already started
arranging the food collected from the alms round.

Luangta must have noticed my disorderliness, yet

he showed Mett (loving-kindness) and did not make
any comments. For those who were new in the monastery,
Luangta appeared to be lenient, even pretending to be
indifferent. Only when a new monk seriously misbehaved
would he reprimand directly. Luangtas attention was on
the monks determination to practice. For other matters
such as being slow but still being able to perform ones
duties correctly, Luangta would not say anything.
Typically about one month before the beginning of
Vassa, or the rains retreat, Luangta would decide which
monks would be the Vassa residents, that is, who would
dwell permanently throughout the three months of the
rainy season. He would usually accept about fifteen to
sixteen monks. When it came to my turn, Luangta asked
me, You remember, on your first day here, you agreed
that you could not stay here for long, that your stay was
only temporary, therefore, you would not be allowed to
spend the Vassa here? After hearing Luangtas words,
I did not know what to do. I did not say anything and was
undecided about what to do next.

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After that Luangta gave a Dhamma talk for almost

two hours. When it ended, all monks paid respect to the
Lord Buddha all together.

Then, Luangta surprised me by turning to me and

giving me his permission to stay. He announced, For the
monk who came from Wat Bowon, if you would like to
stay here, you are allowed to do so. All other monks
who had been staying there started to congratulate me
because Luangta did not accept monks to stay with him
easily. There were many monks whom Luangta did not
permit to stay at the monastery. Luangta wanted us to
see the value of being allowed to stay with him. He wanted
us to have the determination to practice meditation. For
anything that is easily obtained, we have the tendency
to take it for granted, and for anything that is obtained
with difficulties, we would have a greater appreciation.
For this reason, I was allowed to continue to stay.

A rule practiced at the monastery was that monks

who had less than five rains retreats were not allowed
to go anywhere, except for emergency reasons. According
to the Vinaya (Monastic Code of Disciple), new monks
are not allowed to be without a teachers guidance.
Luangta would not allow monks to travel here and there,
unless the five-year rule was completed. For example,
a monk with a two-year rains retreat wanted to go for
Dhutaga wanderings. In addition to evaluating the
suitability of the proposed wanderings, Luangta would
consider whether it was beneficial to do so. If he felt that
it was not beneficial, Luangta would not give permission
to go. There was a monk with two to three rains retreats
who wanted to go for Dhutaga wanderings, and had

A Monks Life

asked for permission several times, but Luangta did not

allow him to go. When he asked again for the last time,
Luangta told him that if he went, he would not be allowed
to come back.

Luangta considered the mind of each monk to be

more important than the number of Vassas he spent.
Sometimes, a monk, after spending five years of rains
retreat, wanted to leave the monastery, but Luangta
thought that it was inappropriate for him to go. His
practice might deteriorate, or he might even leave the
monkhood. If this was the case, Luangta would try to
hold him back. At least, if he stayed in the monastery,
he could continue to learn from the Teacher.
I stayed there for five years before leaving on even
a short trip.

Changing My Perspective
My experience at Wat Pa Baan Taad as a monk
very gradually caused a shift in my perspective about
monkhood and meditation practice. Before, I had never
thought of seeking teachers to lead me on the path to
enlightenment. Besides, I had studied another religion
during my school years and continued my studies in
other parts of the world. Why could I still come along the
path to inner peace in spite of these circumstances?
It was because I did not feel I belonged to any of the
places where I lived and worked. Moreover, I went to the
U.S. as part of my responsibility for studying. After

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fulfilling my student role, then I thought I had the right

to choose my way of life.

For successful practice, it requires the combination

of a supportive environment, knowledgeable and
experienced teachers, and strenuous exertion. This is
a cause-and-effect relationship. One of the causes is
having a right perspective. Skilled and experienced senior
monks play an integral role in establishing and guiding
practitioners to the right understanding. Practitioners
need to be diligent, strong-willed, forbearing, and
courageous. A suitable place for practice with the
absence of extraneous disturbances to distract them from
meditation, such as construction work and merit-making
events, is also essential. The absence of distractions
would encourage practitioners to develop walking and
sitting meditations and undergo practice in seclusion.
Also, they could obtain the techniques from those
teachers whose practice has successfully come to fruition.
Such teachers are able to help inexperienced monks
develop a more mature practice more rapidly than if
they practiced alone.
As an ordained monk staying at Wat Pa Baan Taad,
I realized that being ordained wasnt analogous to
imprisonment at allas I had always seemed to view it.
Becoming a monk never crossed my mind when I initially
started to practice meditation. I thought that Dhamma
practice would make me happy as a lay person. However,
after practicing for some time, I found that staying in the
lay life was in complete opposition to living the Dhamma
life.

A Monks Life

The lay life couldnt go hand in hand with inner

peace. Learning the truth, I no longer thought that
becoming a monk was synonymous with being captive.
Before I had ordained, there were some defilements
remaining somewhere deep down in my mind that
defeated my determination to be ordained. I had thought
that if I had enough money to sustain my life without
working, I would probably not become a monk but
continue living my lay life and keep on practicing
meditation. But now I realized that there would have
been many disadvantages due to the lack of supportive
factors such as having senior monks as my teachers and
living the monastic life with my peers. Moreover, as a
monk, I came to realize that I wouldnt have been capable
enough to achieve the ultimate goal independently.
The delusion of attaching to a lay life would have always
been lurking.
There are some lay people who think that they are
competent, which implies that they are tremendously
deluded. I used to think that way too before entering
monkhood. However, I eventually came to value the
precious opportunity to be with the excellent senior
monks and among other monks in the great monastic
order. Also, having a chance to stay in a wholesome place
was extremely helpful to my practice.
Living in Central Thailand before I had gone to stay
with Luangta Mah Boowa, I never had the opportunity
to encounter those highly revered monks, but I only
saw the monks in the city who appeared to be
undistinguished. At that time, I was dependent on

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reading Dhamma books as I felt that reading could be

a guide to self-discovery.
However, when I got a chance to stay with a highly
revered monk, I came to realize the difference. Reading
is like having a map taking one out of the forest, and
staying with a highly experienced monk is like having
a qualified hunter providing the same guidance. The two
approaches are really different from each other and lead
to very different results.

The attempt to follow the map is sometimes

likely to yield mistakes. On the other hand, if there is
an experienced person taking a practitioner to the
destination, he will only have to follow that person and
do whatever he is told to do. In that way, the practitioner
will not waste his time with possible faults or misunderstandings in every single step throughout the
meditation practice.

Practitioners who do not get to stay and study

Dhamma with highly experienced monks will not realize
the value of following the strict monastic observances.
Their practice would simply follow their feelings and
thoughts which are literally based on defilements. In the
case of people who have not yet attained Nibbna,
or enlightenment, and persist in self-meditation, they
are most likely to be trapped by their delusion or waste
a lot of time.

A Monks Life

Monastic Life
at Wat Pa Baan Taad
The novices and monks staying with Luangta Mah
Boowa were treated as if they were his sons while
Luangta himself was regarded as both father and mother
to them. Therefore, these novices and monks called him
Por Mae Kru Jarn, which means Father, Mother, and
Teacher.
During my early monastic life at Wat Pa Baan Taad,
Luangta accepted only about seventeen residents.
Whoever was the eighteenth person was ineligible
to stay and was required to leave. Luangta gradually
increased the number of the residents later on due to the
rising number of people wishing to study with him.
However, the senior monks who could help him teach
and train younger monks had grown much older and
declined in number. Therefore, Luangta needed to bear
an excessive burden, which subsequently affected the
quality of the monks.

The increasing number of the resident monks

also disturbed the peace of the monastery. When there
were several monks who did not follow Dhamma in
the monastery, this could probably lead to disengagement
among the rest of the monks. And as might be expected,
having a small number of qualified monks at the monastery
could potentially enhance the environment of Dhamma.

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That was the reason why Luangta would consider

Dhamma engagement of each monk when accepting the
new residents. He would make sure that those accepted
were really interested in Dhamma practice. He would
also see whether they were mindful or not. The presence
of mindfulness implied the alignment with Dhamma of
the monks. On the other hand, the absence of mindfulness
manifested that the monks didnt embody the Dhamma.
Without mindfulness, they wouldnt be able to achieve
anything from their Dhamma practice. If careless
mistakes still occurred, it showed that they were not
consciously aware of themselves and their actions,
and this was easily observed and noticed by Luangta.
Hence, he became selective when it came to choosing
the incoming monks to stay with him.
There were times when those accepted to study
Dhamma with him would be dismissed after their short
stay at the monastery. Luangta said that he wanted to
give some other monks, who were also dedicated to
the Dhamma, an opportunity to come study with him.
Rules and regulations of Wat Pa Baan Taad during
my stay were as follows. After waking up, each person
would complete his daily morning washing-up and then
join the group at the meeting hall where monks would
need to rush to be on time. Any monks getting there late
would be considered selfishly taking advantage of others.
When arriving, they would be arranging seats, food
containers, or any other items. Before leaving for alms
round, they would clean the floor. Luangta would come
down to the meeting hall to watch over the monks while
they were working. Meanwhile, Luangta would also be

A Monks Life

stretching so as to make the most out of his time by doing

his routine physical activity along with keeping an eye
on the monks. He preferred doing so instead of working
out at his dwelling and letting the monks complete the
cleaning tasks on their own at the meeting hall because
those hard-working and diligent monks would be
cleaning extensively, whereas those who slacked off
wouldnt be doing anything. However, when Luangta
showed up, everybody would cooperate and help each
other.
Sometimes Luangta also had to clean up since there
were some clueless monks from other places who were
unaware of their duties and responsibilities. For example,
in the morning session when the monks were to clean
the meeting hall, once in a while, there were some monks
from Bangkok standing around and doing nothing
because they had never experienced cleaning the
meeting hall before. Thus, Luangta needed to do those
tasks by himself so as to make them realize what they
should do.
The floor of the meeting hall was coated with tallow
candles, boiled with kerosene and applied to the wooden
floor of the meeting hall. As a result, each footprint would
be left when stepping on the floor, so it was necessary
to clean the floor using coconut shells every morning
and evening, and every monk had to cooperate to help
clean it. After cleaning, all of them would then sweep the
floor together. Finally, when all the cleaning tasks were
finished, the monks would prepare for alms round.

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One year, the weather was very cold as the

temperature hit six degrees Celsius. Although it was
extremely cold, the monks still had to go on alms round
as usual. The road in those days was paved with lateritic
gravel instead of asphalt. When walking on the gravel
road, it felt like stepping on ice cubes. It was extremely
torturing because we needed to walk barefoot, but it was
great practice and I never felt discouraged at all.

There were a couple of lay people from Udon Thani

province partaking in almsgiving to monks on Saturdays
and Sundays. The major portion of the food was
collected from alms round, and more was gathered from
the kitchen hall and the fruit grown in the monastery,
such as bananas, pineapples, and mangoes which were
available in a particular season.
After finishing the meal, each monk would wash his
own food bowl before gathering for the cleaning session
at the meeting hall. After that, they would go back to their
dwellings to practice meditation. At 2:00 p.m. in the
afternoon, there were tea, coffee, and other Pana drinks
prepared to offer the monks. Afterwards, we would sweep
the floor and clean up the meeting hall together. Then
we would take water from the well and push a water cart
in order to pour the water into earthen jars arranged
in the restrooms, at monks dwellings, and other spots
before going back to our dwellings for a shower and
meditation.
During my stay with Luangta, he would normally
give a Dhamma talk to the monks every four or five days,
which lasted at least two hours. During the rains retreat,
he would do it more frequently. His Dhamma teaching

A Monks Life

was remarkably intense because at that time he still had

a lot of energy. His Dhamma flowed out rapidly like
a flash flood. Sometimes the Dhamma flowed faster
than he could put into words. He would talk faster and
faster. Every time I listened to his talk, I was highly
motivated and energized. I felt like a caged fish released
into the river.

Luangta regarded the training assembly as very

important and beneficial for the monks. Regarding the
training, when I did not listen to his Dhamma talks for
a certain period of time, my mind seemed to gravitate
towards worldly thoughts or matters. In contrast, after
being exposed to his teaching, my heart would turn to
the spiritual way of Dhamma. Listening to his Dhamma
made me feel inspired just like a tree absorbing water.
Subsequently, I grew so enthusiastic that right after the
meeting, I could continue practicing the walking and
sitting meditation throughout the night. Instead of
feeling drowsy, I felt warm. I was convinced that my
revered master and Nibbna, or enlightenment, were
very near me.

When there was no gathering of monks for 4-5 days,

the enthusiasm in my mind declined over time.
Concurrently, the defilements kept on gaining more
power which caused me to be lazy when meditating.
After only a few steps of walking, I became bored because
my mind failed to follow the Dhamma path, unlike
the mind of Luangta. His mind was consistent and full
of Dhamma all the time, whereas my mind was more
likely to go the other way round. I was still thinking about
this and that. Also, by thinking about secular matters,

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my energy and power to practice meditation declined.

Listening to Dhamma talks gave me great encouragement
and energy to practice.
For these reasons, studying Dhamma by oneself
couldnt be compared to staying and studying with a great
master. Luangta was like a doctor while Dhamma books
were comparable to medical textbooks, so they were not
the same in terms of effectiveness. Given that we,
as patients, informed the doctor of our symptoms, the
doctor would be able to reach a diagnosis of a disease
so that he or she could explain to us the treatment, inform
us how to track the signs and symptoms, and then
prescribe the right medicines for treatment. Were we
only to have medical textbooks to rely on, with many
diseases and conditions, we would need to search for
a specific of treatment suitable for our diseases and
conditions. Such a process would take a long time, and
we might be prescribing wrong treatments or medicines.
It is much easier to have a doctor giving us a hand.
Similarly, highly experienced monks were regarded as
doctors, and those Dhamma books were like medical
books written by the doctors.
Actually, my original and primary purpose of going
to Wat Pa Baan Taad was not to approach any spiritual
teacher. I only meant to find a proper place for my
meditation development. I was not disrespectful, though.
But, of course, this naive idea was seen for what it was
after I was fortunate to stay in a wholesome place and
study with one of the greatest meditation masters.
These two crucial factors substantially accelerated
my meditation practice and made it progress more

A Monks Life

smoothly because I encountered an appropriate path.

All I needed to do was just follow the provided path,
where I could unexpectedly attain the fruitful outcome
in the end. It was the result of religious virtue and
past good deeds of each individual. A lot of meritorious
deeds in the past and spiritual development would
ultimately promote and push a person towards the
Dhamma path that would lead to the desired destination.

Enhancing My Dhamma
Practice by Reading
Luangtas Books

When I was very new to the monastery, there were

still no audio cassettes of Dhamma teachings available
back then. I could only read from the books written by
Luangta one hour each day, which was like listening to
his Dhamma Desan because they flowed from his mind
as he expounded his pure Dhamma. Reading his books
allowed me to achieve inner peace. Whenever there was
no gathering session, I resorted to his books instead.
The Dhamma derived from the books kept reminding me
to exert myself to the utmost in my Dhamma practice.
That was why listening to Dhamma talks was very crucial
for those who did not know much about Dhamma and
meditation, the tricks and techniques in practicing, and
the problems that might arise at every single step of
practicing. After reading, practitioners would gain
additional knowledge which would be beneficial for
their practice.

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I didnt study Dhamma directly from the Tipiaka,

or Buddhist Scriptures. Rather, I was exposed to them by
listening to Dhamma talks of meditation masters. Also,
I learned it by reading books containing certain selections
from the Buddhist Scriptures. Actually, I didnt really
read directly from the Buddhist Scriptures because they
comprise an enormous and complicated variety of texts,
which were too much to read. Also, some topics covered
in the texts were not what I wanted to know. However,
when reading the books containing Dhamma talks by
highly respected meditation masters, their words were
straight to the point of practice where I had a problem
or wanted to learn more. Finding a decent book like
those of the highly revered meditation masters provides
important insights into Dhamma practice and is effective
for practitioners.

During my early stay with Luangta, whenever

I didnt practice meditation, I would read his books for
an hour every day as part of my daily routine. Eventually,
I ended up reading almost all of his books. I usually read
in cross legged sitting posture just like when listening to
his Dhamma talks, which made my mind attain calm as
I read. Plus, it generated wisdom and understandings
as well.

There werent many books available in those days.

The ones available during that time included Paipada
-Venerable cariya Muns Path of Practice, Venerable
cariya Mun Bhridatta Thera- a Spiritual Biography,
the Dhamma Teachings of cariya Mah Boowa in London,
and Wan Duang Jai, which was the thickest one. A Set of
Dhamma Books for Self-preparation hadnt been printed
at that time yet.

A Monks Life

This Set of Dhamma Books for Self-preparation

was great because Luangta taught mainly about Dhamma
practice method for the ultimate aim of attaining Nibbna,
or enlightenment. Luangta didnt discuss Dna
(contribution) and Sla (precept rules) in the books,
but he taught mainly about meditation. Additionally,
this set covered abandonment of Tah (cravings,
delusion) and detachment from the body.
The book is a collection of talks given to Mrs. Paowpanga Vattanakul, a lay disciple who suffered from
terminal cancer. The doctor told her that there was
no treatment or therapy available to cure her and that
she had only six months left at most. Therefore, she
approached Luangta to receive spiritual guidance. She
asked Luangta for permission to stay at Wat Pa Baan Taad
so that Luangta could teach her to cultivate her mind.
She hoped Dhamma practice would help eliminate the
pain and suffering of death. Luangta told her that if
she would like to come for meditation, she was allowed
to do so. However, if she had to bring along a doctor or
medicine with her, then shed better not come. She was
fearless and went there without taking anything with
her as she truly and sincerely wanted to learn meditation
practice. Luangta noticed her mental toughness and
saw that she was seriously determined to rely on him,
so he finally agreed to teach her so as to provide her the
mental shelter.
Luangta delivered these Dhamma talks in 1975.
I went to stay at the monastery in April while Khun
Paow-panga went there after the rains retreat at the end
of October or early November. With his great mercy,

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Luangta literally taught her every night. Ever since the

establishment of Wat Pa Baan Taad, he had never taught
anyone every night in the kitchen and dining hall. That
was the first and the only time he actually gave his talk
every night. Unless he had something else to do, say, to
teach monks or go out for his personal business, he would
go there to teach her. He gave the Dhamma talks well
over 90 times within four months and commented later
that he had never taught like this to anyone before.
As far as I knew, she finally achieved the ultimate goal
in her Dhamma study and practice there.

This account shows that Dhamma is what everyone

is able to practice and accomplish no matter who
you are, whether a monk or lay person, female or male.
What is important is having an experienced teacher
to guide you, and you, as a student, must be truly
determined to study and be committed to practice. I can
guarantee that the successful outcome will definitely
emerge.

After Luangta had completed the series of Dhamma

talks for Khun Paow-panga, M.R. Songsri and her sister
made repeated requests to Luangta to publish the
discourses he gave. Luangta finally allowed them to
publish A Set of Dhamma Books for Self-preparation and
Where Is the Religion? as requested. Luangta mentioned
that this Dhamma set was a difficult read for some people,
as it instructed how to get prepared to prevail over
Vedan, or suffering, when death approached. Thus,
Luangta didnt want to distribute them to those who
didnt practice because he was afraid that they wouldnt
benefit from them.

A Monks Life

It was like letting children have spicy red curry, and

they would be able to take just one bite before turning
away. In contrast, for adults who loved hot and spicy food,
they would become fascinated with the food after a bite.
The books are very useful as Luangta did emphasize the
body and how to defeat Dukkha-vedan, or unpleasant
feelings, using meditation techniques. Practitioners
need to have their minds fixed on one Kammahna,
or meditation object. It can be Buddhnussati, or
recollection of the Buddha. In addition, the Pa,
or insight, can be applied in order to realize that feeling
is just feeling, and that it is not that severe. It does not
matter that there are pleasant feelings, unpleasant
feelings, or neutral feelings within the heart, as all of
these feelings are identified as feelings. This is just caused
by Avijj, or delusion, which categorizes that which is
good or bad. Without being distinguished, everything is
just all the same.

Sukha-vedan, or pleasant feelings, refers to feelings.

Unpleasant feelings, also refers to feelings. Lastly,
Upekkh-vedan, or neither-pleasant-nor-painful
feelings, is characterized as feelings as well. They appear
in the mind and simply disappear from it in the cycle of
ups and downs of the mind. If the mind is free from Avijj,
or ignorance and delusion creating good and bad types
of feelings, there will be no problems at all. This is
comparable to water that comes in the colors of green,
white, and red offered by lay people. If monks specify
what they like or dislike, then it would be an issue. Those
who like white water would shake their heads when
getting red water. Likewise, those who like red water
would refuse to have a white drink. These people are not

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different in terms of how their minds function. The

difference is just that they have been deluded to like
or dislike a certain thing.
The mind is influenced by Avijj and delusion to
resist painful or unpleasant feelings but to seek pleasant
feelings. Encountering pleasant feelings would make
people smile and desire possessions. As a result, they
compete with each other, fight over property or commit
adultery, because they crave for pleasant things. However,
if they would have to work under difficulties, all of them
would refuse to do it. Because people have been taught
that way, they appear to have those kinds of responses.
Nevertheless, none of us ever realize the fact that we are
being misguided. People have been convinced that this
is innate knowledge that does not need to be taught by
parents. Regarding pleasant feelings and unpleasant
feelings, parents do not need to waste their time
teaching their children about them as the mind would
be automatically aware of these feelings. If people face
painful or unpleasant feelings, they would run away.
On the contrary, when encountering pleasant feelings,
they would go for it straight away.

A Monks Life

Listening to Dhamma Talks

by Luangta
When listening to Dhamma talks, Chanda (desire
to practice Dhamma) and Viriya (effort to practice
meditation continuously and with perseverance) would
arise. With proper Chanda and Viriya, practitioners
would no longer need to stay close to Luangta throughout
their Dhamma practice. Instead, they would find a
solitary place for their meditation. However, when
Dhamma seemed to fade away from the heart, then they
would go to see Luangta again and listen to his Dhamma
talk before getting back to continue their Dhamma
practice in isolation. Therefore, it was crucial that
meditation masters train the novices and monks who
stayed with them on a regular basis.

During my early stay at Wat Pa Baan Taad, the training

period for monks by Luangta really depended on his
availability. The training session was normally arranged
every 4-5 days at dusk. Luangta would tell a monk who
served him to notify the rest of the monks to attend the
Dhamma talk session without hitting the drum, the bell,
or anything else.
Afterwards, the informed monks would then spread
the word. Right after the notification, all the residents
would rush immediately to the assembly no matter
what they were doing at the moment. They would simply
get a sitting cloth, a flashlight, and the upper robe, and

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quickly head to the meeting to avoid being late because

Luangta would already be sitting there waiting for them.

A microphone wasnt yet provided at that time,

but since there were only about ten monks and a few
novices sitting in front of him, Luangta spoke loudly
enough for all of them to hear.
The Dhamma talk was divided into two parts and
lasted approximately two hours. The first part of the
Dhamma talk took about 45 minutes or one hour, and
then he would take a short break to have some water or
chew betel nut. After the break, he would tell the story
about the time he stayed with Luangpu Mun and about
his practicing experiences, for instance, about the time
when he underwent sitting meditation all night.

I was highly motivated throughout the session.

When I got back to my place, I would become so much
more diligent as I was enthusiastic to practice the sitting
and walking meditations for a long period of time. It was
like a catalyst that kept stimulating me to practice
endlessly without being negligent at any stage.
Listening to Dhamma talk is, therefore, essential for
practitioners to do on a regular basis. Kalena Dhamma
Sawanang listening regularly to Dhamma teaching
would help to transform ones mind for the better. Once
listening to Luangtas teaching, I was so heartened that
sometimes I meditated all night till dawn. I felt like
Luangta filled me with motivation.
When one had the opportunity to stay with a great
meditation master like this, it was considered as being

A Monks Life

blessed and extraordinarily meritorious, because

practitioners were barely self-motivated in general.
On top of that, they tended to lack Dhamma to motivate
themselves to practice and had nothing to show for their
practice. Great meditation masters were skillful in
Dhamma practice. Having reached enlightenment
resulting from their meditation, the masters would
show the way to practitioners so as to inspire them.
It was like they had glamorous diamond rings to show
practitioners so as to send the message that they,
practitioners, would be getting these kinds of rings if
they gave their best effort in their Dhamma practice.
Seeing magnificent rings would simply engender their
desire for those rings, and they became encouraged to
practice correspondingly. Besides, meditation masters
would be giving hints about how to progress in their
practice, how tolerant they were required to be, and
how to dedicate themselves for effective practice. All of
these clues potentially widened their knowledge of their
Dhamma practice as a result.
Exposure to the Dhamma of Luangta on a regular
basis helped to raise awareness and made practitioners
realize which path to take to reach the destination.
The mind of practitioners oftentimes fell into traps
throughout the practice. Once being able to attain
Samdhi, they tended to become addicted to peace
and tranquility, and got stuck at this very state. When
meditating, they would exclusively aim to enter the state
of calm where they could enjoy the feelings of bliss.
After withdrawal from Samdhi, they didnt carry on
with their investigation and contemplation of Dhamma.
Instead, they resumed their worldly activities and their

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mind ended up becoming restless. When this scenario

happened, they would re-enter Samdhi, yet they failed
to develop their Pa, or wisdom.

For this reason, Luangta needed to regularly

warn his followers that it was necessary to investigate
with Pa right after withdrawing from Samdhi.
He recommended that they were supposed to start off
with contemplation of the body by investigating
unattractiveness of the body, known as the Asubha
practice, so as to eradicate sensual cravings. Apart from
the five external parts of the body including head hair,
bodily hair, nails, teeth, and the skin, there were also
internal constituents hidden under the skin, such as
muscles, tendons, ligaments, bones, and other organs.
Therefore, practitioners should contemplate those body
parts with Pa, or wisdom, due to the fact that humans
were unable to look through the skin. However, with
Pa the practitioners had ability to investigate those
body parts since they could visualize the pictures of such
organs in the body as part of the contemplation.

The meetings were held less often later on due to

his increasing obligations and his health problems from
time to time. Sometimes, there would be an interval of a
month without any gathering sessions. One of the reasons
was that at the time there were plenty of audio recordings
of his Dhamma talks available. All the monks could listen
to the talks by themselves, so Luangta wasnt worried
as much about the training of the monks.
Modern technologies and equipment were useful
for Dhamma teaching. For instance, like the monks,

A Monks Life

his followers could just listen to his Dhamma talks

whenever they wanted and didnt have to go see him in
person. Most practitioners tended to absorb only a small
amount of Dhamma contents. When Luangta said 100
words, they might be able to grasp or understand only
10 words. That was because their mind on that particular
day was at a low level of perception. As their meditation
practice progressed, their ability would be increased a
bit more. Listening to the same talk again was like
listening to a new one. They would feel as if they had
never listened to that talk before and might even wonder
if it was the same as the one they had previously listened
to. They were often able to grasp something new in the
second listening, which they hadnt caught the first time
around.
Therefore, practitioners should not think that
listening to the repetitive Dhamma talks is boring or that
there is nothing new in them. Actually, there is something
new, but they just do not realize it. It is recommended
that they alternate between listening to Dhamma talks
and practicing meditation. The point of approaching
meditation masters is not getting to see them, but
listening to their Dhamma discourses so that
practitioners can practice further on their own after
learning something new from the Dhamma talks.
Anything mentioned in the talks by the masters that
practitioners still fail to attain or comprehend are their
assignments to analyze and investigate. When they are
able to complete an assignment, the issue will be cleared
up. This is an ideal way of approaching highly revered
meditation masters.

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For the laity, when you go to the temple or monastery

and cannot get the front seat, you dont need to be fussy
about it. If the quality of audio or sound equipment is
good enough and can reach everyone, then that is fine
because it is like you are sitting close to the meditation
master already. The main purpose of going to the temple
is to seek Dhamma as the masters mind fully contains
it, and you dont need anything else from them. You dont
need their snack bars, their smiles, or their greeting.
Youd better take those impressions as something extra.
It is similar to going to a gas station where you receive
any giveaway the station provides, such as a towel, a pen,
a pencil, or a notebook. However, the point of going to
the gas station isnt to get these free gifts but to refuel
in order to reach the destination. Similarly, when you go
to see a meditation master, it means you are seeking
Dhamma, which is analogous to the fuel driving the mind
to Nibbna, or enlightenment.

The Western Monks Listening

to Dhamma of Luangta
When I arrived at the monastery, there were three
western monks including Tan Pa, Tan Cherry, and
Tan Ian (Tan Ian has since left the monkhood). In the
following years, more western monks went there, so
there were 4-5 of them in total. For those foreign monks
staying with Luangta, if there were any profound contents
of Dhamma, they would need help with translation.

A Monks Life

Tan Pa was responsible for translating the

Dhamma to other Western monks. After Luangta gave
his Dhamma talk, he would tell Tan Pa, So, Tan Pa,
explain this to the rest of your friends! Then Tan Pa
would spend about 10 minutes summarizing the talk.

Meanwhile, Luangta would be drinking water

and chewing betel nut, and other Thai monks would be
practicing meditation while waiting for Tan Pa to
finish translating the Dhamma explanation. Later on,
Luangta would continue the conversation sharing his
Dhamma practice experiences, telling about his life while
staying with Luangpu Mun and other stories for about
45 more minutes.
During my stay in the monastery, I also helped
translate some Dhamma books for other foreign monks
to read. Apart from the books, I also explained some of
the Dhamma talks given by Luangta in a translated version.

Because Dhamma is subtle and abstract, using

body language to explain Dhamma is inadequate for
understanding. Dogs do not have an opportunity to
grasp Dhamma because they lack merits. They need to
be born human. The Lord Buddha was human. Being able
to be born human, meet the Lord Buddha, and encounter
Buddhism, is the most wonderful luck that one can ever
ask for. This phenomenon does not easily happen at all.
In the next life, being born as human, one may not find
Buddhism.

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A Good Meditation Teacher

Having an excellent meditation teacher was great,
despite unfavorable food. The Western monks staying
with Luangta had never eaten local food before, but
they still could take it. Also, they had never stayed in
such humble dwellings, but they were able to tolerate it.
Western monks were born in a comfortable place and
got everything that made life convenient, like heaters,
air-conditioners, running water, and electricity. Still, they
could leave those things to find something more valuable.

The person who can provide them with this

precious thing is a meditation master. Therefore, it is
crucial that a practitioner be with an agreeable person,
such as a proficient and intelligent meditation teacher.
If practitioners cannot find one, then they will need
to associate with fellow monks, with whom they can
practice Dhamma. If the fellow monks are smarter and
cleverer than practitioners themselves, the monks and
practitioners will all benefit. However, there may be a
situation where the practitioners lack the knowledge
and commitment to the Dhamma and their friends might
initiate chitchatting or ask the monks to do irrelevant
activities, which can waste their time.
Accordingly, it is essential to select the friends to
be with due to the fact that it is impractical to stay alone
all the time. In the monastery, there are many types of
people staying together. When encountering people who
are less likely to practice meditation, one should avoid
them if possible. If it is not required to participate in the

A Monks Life

monastic duties together with them, then it is better to

find a secluded location for meditation.

At Wat Pa Baan Taad, Luangta normally had the

monks live separately in order to prevent them from
gathering as a group. After finishing the daily duties,
they would disperse. In the afternoon, all came to have
hot drinks before separating. Since talking while drinking
was not allowed, Luangta would come and ensure that
silence was maintained.

Eating to Live
On a regular basis meditation masters ate from
the alms bowl containing the combination of food and
dessert once a day as a certain portion of food was just
enough to meet the bodys needs. Having more than one
meal indicates that one cannot withstand the strength
of the defilements and is still attached to the flavor of
the food. For picky eaters, mixing all the food in the bowl
before eating is a way to suppress the defilements.
They only need to employ this method until the bad
eating habit disappears or until they can eat whatever
is available. Eventually, they would not even have
issues with rice mixed with only fish sauce.
The monks at Wat Pa Baan Taad were not allowed
to choose the food they ate. Each monk would dish out
the food into every monks open bowl after receiving
the plates passed on from Luangta.

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When I was newly ordained, I dealt with my picky

eating habit by putting the food, dessert, and fruits
altogether into my bowl and mixing them well. That was
because ultimately all the food would be combined in my
stomach anyway, which did not cause me any problem.
In fact, the body is the one who consumes, and it does
not even have trouble with the food taken. The mind does
not consume the food, yet it becomes fussy and demanding.
The mind does not eat it, and the body is actually the
eater. The mind is like the mother while the body is like
the child. The mother might have trouble selecting the
food for her child and ends up forcing him or her to eat
the mothers favorite food. In this way, the child is trained
to eat anything available, and for the monk, the body
can consume whatever food is provided. This is how the
training is supposed to be.
If you would like to make progress in your Dhamma
practice, you will have to be frugal and contented. That
is to say you should live with less and be content with
what you have. Therefore, you have to eat whatever food
available. On condition that you cannot force yourselves
to eat such food, then its your opportunity to fast so as
to combat the defilements. If you skip a meal, you find
when you eat the next meal that because you are hungry,
you will be able to take the food that you have never had
or that you dislike. Even the rice mixed with fish sauce
can turn out to be delicious. If you do not implement this
approach, you will not be able to reach higher levels of
Dhamma. Given that you continue living the same old
repetitive lifestyle, your practice will fail to move forward.
Its a must to suppress your defilements by using a variety
of techniques.

A Monks Life

The Lord Buddha prescribed the 13 ascetic practices

(Dhutaga) for monks so as to make the Kilesas, or
defilements, suffer, such as the practice of eating alms
food and doing alms round. Those were the means of
oppressing the defilements. The defilements love eating
but they do not like going alms round. The observance
of eating once a day is designed to shake off the
defilements, which are fond of eating all day. The
ascetic practices are the tricks to inflict pain on the
defilements, which will help make the mind progress and
subsequently eliminate the defilements. It is parallel to
draining pus from an abscess as it wouldnt be able to
drain on its own if not treated. The pus is required to be
drained so that the wound would heal fast and effectively.
Practitioners who wish to be progressive in developing
their mind are required to have the courage to use these
strategies.

Fasting to Defeat
the Defilements
After ordination, I didnt really experience much
suffering because ever since I stayed with Luangta,
I became steadily immersed in meditation all the time.
At that time I attacked the defilements first, instead of
letting them trample all over me. I fought them by fasting
in order to make the defilements intimidated. In the
evening, if I didnt fast, I would always think about
food and wanted to have something to eat. However,

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if I fasted, I wouldnt be obsessed with food at all. When

fasting, I could not stay still but focused on meditation
relentlessly. Whenever I stopped meditating, the mind
would suddenly be careless and unguarded. It would
think about food again and again, and I would eventually
end up feeling hungry. When I kept practicing sitting and
walking meditations, the mind would be calm and
thoughts about food seemed to just disappear.

Having a chance to stay with my fellow practitioners

at Wat Pa Baan Taad allowed me to observe diverse tips
and tricks for Dhamma practice, one of which was fasting.
Throughout my time of self-meditating, I had no idea
about fasting at all. Even during my early stay at the
monastery, I didnt realize that some monks were fasting.
There were times when some of the monks were absent,
and I thought they had gone off on some business.
However, when I asked one of them, he replied that
he was actually fasting.

Fasting was pretty new to me as I had never fasted

before. At first I thought that eating once a day was
already extreme enough. Apparently, after I saw other
monks fast for many days straight, I became enthusiastic
about trying it as well. Fortunately, fasting suited me well,
and I found that it was a very good way of motivating me
to do meditation. Because of the extreme hunger, as you
would expect, I would end up thinking about food all the
time, which made me suffer enormously. By resorting to
meditation, I eradicated my suffering.
Meditating when hunger arose, I managed to stop
the flow of thinking and successfully subdue the mind.

A Monks Life

Subsequently, the hungry feeling resulting from such

thoughts also disappeared. Thus, I learned that hunger
mainly arose in the mind. The thoughts about food caused
an intense suffering in the mind. Sometimes if I happened
to think of my favorite food, I would immediately crave
those dishes even after I had just finished the meal.
My desire to eat was still strong although I was full.

During fasting, a monk wouldnt be required to join

the group, participate in monastic activities at the
meeting hall, attend morning alms round, or get
together for cleaning. He would only be responsible for
cleaning his own hut. Luangta strongly encouraged
fasting monks to stay in a secluded place to avoid exposure
to sensual pleasures. Practitioners who were fasting
would be reminded to focus exclusively on meditation.

It is very common for practitioners to feel pressured

when fasting because they suffer from hunger. In this
case, the following two solutions can help fix the problem.
They can either go find the food to eat or try to eliminate
the feeling of hunger that is created by the wandering
mind. During the fasting periods, they will not get the
food to eat. Therefore, the only way to overcome hunger
is meditation to calm down the mind because for the
most part, hunger is generated by the mind, not the body.
In other words, the body causes only 10% of hunger
whereas the wandering mind contributes to 90% of the
hunger. Thinking of food always makes people drool.
Therefore, when a practitioner fasts, it is similar to fighting
in the boxing ring in order to knock down the rival which
is the defiled cravings, not just practicing with the sand

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bag as usual. Therefore, practitioners can no longer simply

relax, but must practice sitting and walking meditations
intensively. If they happen to feel exhausted due to
prolonged sitting meditation, they may probably want
to switch to walking meditation. Similarly, once they get
tired from walking, they can change back to do sitting
meditation again. This is meant to force them to keep
practicing. And just as the boxer in the ring is not supposed
to just stand there clumsily, but must use all his skills to
defeat the opponent, the one who fasts must always be
using his or her skills to battle the cravings.
Thus, fasting and the accompanying gnawing
hunger was seen as a kind of suffering, and all I could
do to alleviate my suffering was develop meditation.
I discovered that when the mind dropped into a state
of calm, hunger was automatically extinguished, and
I was able to do walking meditation very easily. After
a while, inevitably, Samdhi began to weaken and the
mind started to think about food once again, and I had
to go back to do sitting meditation all over again. And
gradually, upon attaining the inner peace, hunger would
just disappear. As you might imagine, it was difficult and
tiring to sit in meditation for long periods, and this is
where I learned the technique of switching to walking
meditation. It was great to alternate between sitting and
walking meditation all day and night so that the mind
would always be overseen by mindfulness and wisdom
(Satipa).
Sometimes, I would contemplate food as unpleasant
and loathsome. When I thought of well-presented food
on a serving plate, I tried to visualize it in the mouth,

A Monks Life

in the stomach, or out of the body after digestion. In this

way, I was able to relinquish attachment to food for
a while. Therefore, when craving for any food, it is crucial
that a practitioner picture it while in the mouth, in the
stomach, and out of the body after digestion. As a result,
the desire for such food will disappear.
To contain the defilements, it is imperative that
practitioners put pressure on the mind in order to spur
Pa (wisdom) and Samdhi (meditative calm and
concentration) into action. If practitioners take it easy,
the defilements will run amok.

After the meal, I usually felt sleepy once I reached

my Kut. I would be drawn to my pillow first of all since
I didnt feel like doing walking or sitting meditation. If
I persisted in sitting meditation, only after a short period
of time, I would end up falling asleep. That was another
reason why I found fasting to be so helpful: it intensified
my effort in meditation. Its important to point out that
this material body needs to take in food to be healthy, so
I would alternate between fasting and eating: sometimes
fasting for three days or five days and eating for another
two days.
Luangta actually warned the monks to know their
own body limit regarding their health condition or sickness
during fasting. Over-fasting might cause diarrhea so they
needed to be careful. I never had blackout during my
fasting period as I began with little steps and gradually
intensified my fasting over time. In other words, I gradually
cut my food intake to let my stomach adjust itself.
For those who had health problems during fasting,

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they found that this approach did not suit them well,
so they had to choose other ways. In my case, I could
fast for nine days at maximum. If the fasting period was
extended, it wouldnt be effective anymore, because
I wouldnt be practicing meditation but more likely falling
asleep instead.

Five days of fasting is just the right period of time

for me. The first three days suffering could be quite
intense due to excruciating hunger. After that, you might
as well not think about it because you know you are not
going to eat it anyway, so you just continued fasting.
Fasting period could be three days, five days, or every
other day. Sometimes, if I had a meal one day, I would not
eat anything on the following day. I used this approach
for 2 to3 years because it helped my meditation practice
progress rapidly and kept me from being lazy and sleepy.

During fasting, Luangta allowed monks to have

some milk. In those days, there were no milk boxes
available but sweetened condensed milk blended with
Ovaltine. I had a glass of milk every day when fasting
so that I wouldnt get too weary. The afternoon was the
time to have Pana, which are permissible drinks. Now
and then Luangta would give dark chocolate bars to
monks. He would particularly give them to those who
fastedrarely for non-fasting monks. Another advantage
of fasting was that I wouldnt have to meet the Tiger
(as we referred to Luangta) at the dining hall. Going to
eat each day wasnt easy at all. Monks had to go to
the dining hall and meet the Tiger. If they were too
afraid of and didnt wish to be challenged by the Tiger,
they had a choice of fasting. Consequently, there were

A Monks Life

a number of novices and monks undertaking fasting, and

they actually fasted frequently. Especially during the rains
retreat, half of the residents didnt show up at the dining
hall. Those who did not fast and came out to eat would
potentially be roared at, or reproved, by the Tiger.
This confrontational tactic was not to intimidate the
monks; rather, Luangta just wanted the monks to exert
themselves in practicing meditation.

At Wat Pa Baan Taad, if the monks did not fast,

they had to go alms round. When joining the group for
activities, they had a chance of chatting that could cause
the mind to be agitated and slow down, or even derail
progress. They would easily forget about their walking
path or meditation because there was nothing to force
them to practice. Hunger is like the medicine that people
never think of when they have good health. When they
feel ill, they will always think about it because they
want to recover from their sickness. Similarly, fasting
makes practitioners only want to do sitting and walking
meditations. If not, they will greatly suffer because their
strayed mind keeps thinking about food.
After perceiving the value of fasting, I persisted in
this commitment until the mind was on the right track,
so I no longer needed to rely on the fasting method.

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Luangta Giving Advice

without Me Asking
Whenever I encountered problems, I never once
asked Luangta for help the whole time I stayed with him.
His talks already covered everything I needed to know,
so I did not have to ask him anything regarding my practice.

The one exception occurred one time I went to serve

him. Usually selected monks pulled out his eyelashes.
Eyelashes normally grow outward, but his grew inward,
requiring regular plucking. One person held a flashlight
while the other one pulled them out using a small pincer.
In fact, I wasnt responsible for this initially, but there
was no one available, so a monk asked me to help.

Before going there, I had a talk with the monk

who held the flashlight. I cannot recall what I asked him
about. In the process of plucking Luangtas eyelashes,
he suddenly told us how to handle such problems.
Luangta addressed my question without my even asking.
While this was an unusual, even surprising event, for the
most part when it came to the field of Dhamma practice,
there was almost no need to ask him any questions
because Luangta already taught thoroughly. Luangta
actually shared every story with the monks. As I had an
opportunity to listen to hundreds of his Dhamma talks,
this allowed me to understand different aspects of
Dhamma he expounded without the need to make any
queries.

A Monks Life

Beating the Fear

In the old days, to see if their mind could stand the
test, meditation masters often sought to live in dense,
overgrown jungle areas or mountain ranges abounding
in tigers and fierce animals. They wandered in their
ascetic practices, or Dhutaga, to practice insight
meditation (Vipassan) because they wanted to know
the deepest truths of the real Dhamma.
When we develop wisdom (Pa) in secure
environments, we might think that we have already
overcome fear. But when we encounter a real fearful or
scary situation, we might not know how to deal with it.
I tried to counteract my fear when I was staying at
Wat Pa Baan Taad. I was terrified of snakes when walking
in the monastery at night, and it became so intense that
I knew that this was a challenge I had to confront.

When I saw this truth, I decided not to use a flashlight when walking in the dark. If I stepped on a snake,
and if it bit me, I would let it do so. When I thought I was
going to be bitten by a snake, I was extremely scared.
I knew I had to accept death. When I did, my mind became
calm and peaceful. I thought that I was really going to be
bitten by a snake and that I was going to die when in fact
I was just imagining. I was deceiving myself. But I needed
this deception to force me to let go of my life, to obtain
peace of mind and to get rid of my fear.
This is the way to test if I can handle fear and the
way of getting rid of fear from my heart.

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Physical Work vs. Spiritual Work

Luangta used to tell us that His Majesty the King
wanted to construct an Ubosot, which is an ordination
hall, for him. Even though it was the King offering it,
Luangta still refused the offer. Luangta said that his main
focus was not on constructing buildings, but on cultivating
monks. It was not necessary to have an Ubosot in order
to transform men into monks, but secluded places in the
forests or on the mountains.

When I had stayed with Luangta, he emphasized

that spiritual duty was top priority. He mainly encouraged
mental development, or Bhvan, among the monks.
At the same time, other routine duties in the monastery
were to be performed as necessary. Luangta was very
careful in assigning routine duties to novices and monks
at the monastery. He never emphasized constructing
permanent structures. They were only built to serve
functional purposes, without dazzling or elegant
decorations. In addition, the Sl, or open pavilion, which
had been built since the establishment of the monastery,
was still in use to accommodate a large number of people
coming to the monastery. As the space of the upper floor
wasnt large enough, the floor was raised in order that
the ground floor which had more space could be used in
daily activities instead.
Before deciding to build a Ku for a monk, Luangta
would consider very carefully if it was really necessary.
He wanted his monks to focus solely on meditation.
At that time, Luangta didnt accept too many monks

A Monks Life

for two reasons. With a large number of residents,

it would be essential to construct more buildings to
accommodate them. Also, too many residents might lead
to ineffective teaching and care. Because of Luangtas
thoughtful considerations, there was just the right number
of Kus at the monastery. If Luangta had accepted more
residents, the buildings would have had to be constructed
too close to each other. Subsequently, the existing
seclusion in the monastery would be replaced by a
congested and noisier environment. If it was absolutely
necessary to construct a building, all would gather
and rush to finish it as fast as possible. However, the
construction work was required to be stopped in the
evening so that monks could continue their mental
cultivation at night.
Regarding regular routines, all residents of the
monastery would complete them together, such as
making brooms which was carried out once a year.
Monks cut and collected bamboo twigs to make brooms.
They also had to plane the heartwoods of jack-fruit trees
for dyeing monk robes every 15 days.

As the monastery got more financial support from

the laity, monks were no longer obligated to do construction
work. The construction of the walls around the monastery
was financed by lay devotees. Novices and monks didnt
have to be responsible for building them because funding
provided for hiring local residents to do this work instead.
Luangta inspected the construction work by himself in
the morning after finishing the meal, in the afternoon
and in the evening. He did not allow the workers to work
overtime at night as the noise could disturb the monks
meditation.

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Although there were laypeople offering money

for building Kus, Luangta never accepted it if he found
there was no need to build a new one. He would return
the money to them and tell them that it was unnecessary
because nothing could be as valuable as spiritual work.
Luangta was so protective of his monks that he never let
them do extra work, accept invitations, or be involved
in construction work in the monastery. The focus was
always on meditation.

If there were any quiet and secluded pieces of

land suitable for cultivating meditation offered for sale,
Luangta would buy them. He tried to support this as
they were wholesome places for meditation which
would gradually become unavailable over time. Due to
increasing population, there would be an increase in
deforestation. The reason why he fought for this matter
was to sustain forests and mountainous areas for the
benefits of meditation.
If the monks do not spend their monkhood in the
forest, then it will be hopeless for them to attain Nibbna.
If they dwell in temples with a magnificent Ubosot or
splendid air-conditioned Kus, it will surely be impossible
for them to reach enlightenment because the way they
live is like that of laypeople. The only difference is that
they shave their heads and wear monk robes. Perhaps
they have a better and more comfortable life style than
that of laypeople. Besides, in some temples the monks
dwellings are air-conditioned, carpeted, and full of
material items. If so, how could these monks get
themselves to practice meditation? They are unable
to endure even a little pain or discomfort when doing
sitting meditation.

A Monks Life

Regarding worldly duties, if practitioners follow

their own desires, they would end up constructing
extraordinary buildings. You can see that some magnificent
and stupendous structures in some temples are nonsense
indeed. Constructing physical structures is totally different
from creating Dhamma within the human mind. Therefore,
practitioners should not be misled or deluded in creating
physical structures or accumulating unnecessary worldly
material items so that they would have time to cultivate
their mind.
To sum up, when making merit, one needs to have
wisdom in order to get beneficial results. For those who
want to support Buddhism, they should do it in the right
way. Instead of building structures they can help to
provide suitable places for meditation. Most importantly,
they can also support the monks who propagate Dhamma
so that it will enable other people to perceive the genuine
Buddhas teachings and put them into practice.

Putting the Right Person

on the Job
As menial external work was coarse, meditation
masters were more likely to support spiritual work.

Those still having coarse minds appeared to be

unable to effectively handle delicate tasks. Accordingly,
Luangta would assign them to do menial work first.
As they could not engage in practicing meditation

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just yet, Luangta let them take care of the kitchen and
do sweeping and cleaning tasks. Those whom he felt
were able to perform delicate tasks would not be given
menial jobs. Whenever he saw them work at menial jobs,
he would tell them to stop.

It also happened to me during my stay at the

monastery when there was a construction of a Ku.
Monks gathered to help in construction activity, and
I felt like I should also lend a hand. As soon as Luangta
saw me there, he told me to go away. However, the way
he spoke with me didnt discourage the other monks.
He said, You are no good at this! Dont mess around
here! It was like he signaled me to go meditate instead
of doing this work. I was so relieved that I didnt feel
bad about not showing up at the construction work the
next day.
It was common to take responsibility or contribute
when living with others. Luckily, Luangta was merciful.
He put the right persons on the job, which resulted in
more benefits.

Menial labor jobs are useful but spiritual work is

better. After one finishes his or her spiritual work,
one can help others to get benefits from his or her
accomplishment.
Practitioners should go to a monastery or temple
where there are wise teachers, who can differentiate
between coarse work and delicate work. These teachers
should also be able to distinguish between different
types of practitioners. They know some are suitable for
a particular type of work while others are not. On the
other hand, in a monastery where teachers are not good

A Monks Life

at distinguishing between various types of practitioners,

if there is coarse work for monks to do, everyone will be
obligated to contribute. No matter how far some monks
have progressed in their spiritual work, they will have
to stop and participate in the menial work instead.
Therefore, their inner spiritual work will be abandoned
or stagnate, and it will also be a waste of their time.

Appropriate Time
for Meditation
There was one time while practicing walking
meditation that I was very sleepy, but I tried to keep
myself from falling asleep. I forced myself to continue
walking and concentrate on the words Buddho, Buddho
and Left-Right along with the practice. After a while,
the mind entered the deep state of tranquility. I was
suddenly wide awake and felt fresh. I was not unconscious,
but totally mindful when I experienced the tranquility.
Before I went to bed, I usually felt very exhausted.
When I woke up, after having enough rest, the mind
would become refined. The average sleep hours for
practitioners range between 4 -5 hours. It is recommended
that they wake up at 2:00 or 3:00 a.m., which is the time
when the mind becomes the most refined. At this time
of day, the environment outside is also wholesome and
quiet which enhances serenity of the heart. Of course,
there are some differences in people, but in general,
this is the best time to meditate.

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After practicing meditation in a consistent manner,

I was able to practice anytime except after a meal because
then I would be falling asleep while meditating. I did
walking meditation before switching back to sitting.
After that, if I wished to relax, I would take a one-hour
break. Then I would continue walking and sitting
meditations before sweeping the monastery compound
and cleaning my place. After a shower, I would walk
until the sitting meditation time arrived and then rest
for four to five hours before resuming sitting and walking
meditations. It was only when I slept that I didnt meditate.
Even when I was engaging in other daily routine activities,
I was always mindful. Normally the monks at Wat Pa Baan
Taad were not supposed to talk to each other when doing
everyday activities; this made it easier for them to maintain
their mindfulness.

Fear of the Tiger

During my stay at Wat Pa Baan Taad, there was the
Tiger, which was Luangta. My reaction when I was in
his presence helped determine if my fear still existed.
If I could continue my work without being terrified or
nervous, it implied that Samdhi and wisdom (Pa)
started to emerge within. In contrast, if I was too tense,
this showed my inability to gain mastery over the mind
and to meditate. At the time of stress, I had to develop
wisdom to get rid of fear, with Samdhi only playing the
supportive role in fear management.

A Monks Life

Through my experiences as a lay person, I learned

that harsh teachers were actually kind-hearted. Students
would actually obtain more benefits from this type of
teacher rather than from one who was lenient. Even when
I was a student, I usually looked forward to studying
with harsh and tough teachers. Otherwise, I wouldnt be
gaining knowledge in class.

Before Luangta was harsh with someone, he would

consider whether the monk could be directly reprimanded
and would benefit from it or not. Luangta was careful to
analyze personal behaviors of individuals to determine
to what extent they could accept the criticism, focusing
more on advantages and disadvantages that might occur
when criticizing his students.
Sometimes, he reprimanded a monk by telling him
a story about another person. In fact, he was indirectly
criticizing that monk. If that monk was wise enough,
he would humbly listen and ponder whether or not
it was the story about himself. The listener was always
supposed to welcome being criticized as a chance to
improve himself without anger and emotion involved.
Regardless whose stories they were, each individual
was required to Opanayiko, or to humbly reflect on himself.

The master was very wise and knew that humans

were varied in temperament. Being taught and
reprimanded directly in front of their peers could
be unacceptable for some students. They might feel
embarrassed and possibly resent or lose respect for their
teacher. The master would carefully consider how much
each student could take when choosing his words.

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During my early stay at the monastery, I was

reprimanded for sitting with my arm resting on the floor.
Luangta told me very firmly not to sit like that, and
I realized that that sitting posture was improper.

Another time I was attacked for not knowing

how to properly behave with the master. I did not realize
monks were not supposed to ask the master questions
unless they were given permission. Until permission was
granted, what all the students were expected to do
was simply agree with whatever issues the teacher
brought up by saying Yes, sir, or just remaining silent.
When traveling with Luangta, every single monk
would remain calm. They would be watching their own
mind and be mindful and would not engage in frivolous
talk or conversation. When Luangta was around, it was
like he used his magic to make everyone sit still like a
stone.

When I was still new to the monastery, seeing a

monk shaking while he was in front of Luangta made me
wonder if I would act the same. I wasnt trembling with
fear initially because I hadnt been attacked by the
Tiger yet. Later, after I was reprimanded 2-3 times,
I just snuck away whenever I saw Luangta coming.
Over time, I became terribly scared of Luangta
as I didnt wish to repeat my stupidity. After the first
reprimand, I would try not to make the same mistake
twice. I would keep it in mind because what Luangta
taught was straight from his heart, and his teachings
were utterly priceless. Even so, people still took his
teachings about small things and manners for granted,

A Monks Life

causing them to miss the subtlety and refinement of his

teaching. Eventually, their meditation was marked by
carelessness and lack of progress.

Reprimanding Students
with Loving-Kindness
At Wat Pa Baan Taad, Luangta also participated in
a Pavra meeting (inviting admonition or inviting
others to advise one). On Pavra day which usually
falls on the full moon day of the eleventh lunar month,
the Lord Buddha established a rule giving the opportunity
for resident monks within each monastery to invite
one another for reprimand at the end of each retreat.
This religious practice would start with senior monks.
Generally, Luangta would criticize and warn his students.
It is the principle of forest tradition that once a monk has
entered the monastic community, he has to be prepared
for others to criticize his conduct consistently. However,
monks generally follow this principle as fulfillment of
ritual obligations. In fact, this practice should be seriously
observed from the first day of their ordination because
monks are supposed to be open to admonition.

As the aim of ordination is to develop selfcultivation, monks need to admit their wrongdoings
and correct them. On that ground, it is essential for monks
to be reprimanded or criticized for their unbecoming
behaviors. If there is the practice of Pavra in the
society, there wont be any problems. Before warning,

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the one who reprimands should choose words carefully

to see whether they are true and coming out of lovingkindness and compassion, not with prejudice. If the
person offering constructive criticism is angry and full
of hatred, he had better not warn another person until
he feels calm. However, practically, the only persons
who can actually admonish other monks are teachers or
venerable monks. Otherwise, those who are warned
might not be able to accept it. The one who warns should
be concerned about his own status because it is possible
to offend and cause anger, hatred and bad Kamma in
others.
Having a teacher like Luangta is tremendously
helpful for the monks. Yet, they have to be respectful,
obedient, and fearful of their teacher so that the teachings
would be effective in helping them succeed in their
meditation practice. However, they shouldnt be so
fearful of the teacher that they are nervous and shaking
just by seeing him around. Instead, they need to listen to
and believe him.
When a teacher reprimands his students, it implies
that he is helping his students. Because students do not
like to be hard on or restrain themselves, they need
a teacher to help control and give them firm direction.
As students are generally not receptive to others
reprimands, the only person allowed to scold them is
their teacher. Without respect towards the teacher,
students will not get any benefits from his admonition.
For instance, some monks do not pay attention to the
teachers admonition or obey him. In this case, even if
they are still allowed to stay with the teacher, they will

A Monks Life

take his words for granted. This is like a ladle in a

soup pot, yet it never realizes how flavorful the soup is.
Therefore, their stay with the teacher becomes useless.

Most people wanted Luangta to love and be merciful

towards them. However, once he told them off, they
thought that Luangta wasnt merciful towards them
anymore. On the contrary, that was the way Luangta
showed his mercy and kindness to people; if Luangta
didnt say anything to the wrongdoers, it meant that
he didnt care about them and implied that he did not
see any benefit in helping right the wrongs or warn the
wrongdoers. Monks wishing to practice meditation
together under a wise supervising teacher are required
to have courage, patience, mindfulness, and wisdom.
They should not react to whatever the teacher says under
any circumstances. They need to stay still like a stone,
and just listen to him in order to think over the reproof
to see if what the teacher said is true. If true, they must
improve themselves as soon as possible, and never let
the teacher warn them again. Because if the teacher has
to criticize his students over and over again, it shows
that they are intractable and disobedient. Also, they will
not make progress in meditation practice due to their
uncorrected wrong views.
If their lack of progress is not because of their wrong
views, then it means they are too limited and blind to
realize their own faults when reprimanded. Wise people
tend to lead their lives along the path of Dhamma all the
time. In addition to being open to reprimand, they are
careful to disregard praise from others. No matter what
flattery they receive from others, its not going to change

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anything. It is not necessary to have others tell them how

great and wonderful they are because they are already
aware that they are living a skillful life. Likewise, if the
praises are untrue, it wont make them better as well.
Praise is meaningless for sages and wise people. In the
society of wise men, they dont really give praises to one
another. Only unwise people like to admire, compliment,
and reward each other.

Using Anger to Trick Students

Anger is one of the tools that teachers usually use
to teach their students by constantly provoking them.
Students are aware that they cannot get angry with
teachers, so all they can do is keep their anger within.
However, they can overcome it and clear their mind
ultimately because the teachers help arouse the defilements
for them to extinguish.

Some people who successfully attain Samdhi tend

to think that they have already become enlightened
and that anger no longer exists in their mind. Having
listened to a lot of Dhamma talks until they have become
integrated in their heart makes them believe that their
anger is totally absent. There is one story of a high-ranking
lady who listened to Dhamma talks and became engaged
in the talks wholeheartedly until her mind was very
serene. Her defilements were also calm. She thought that
greed and anger were completely extinguished from her
heart. When this happened, she happily went to see her

A Monks Life

teacher and told him about it. She said, Ever since I had
a chance to listen to your Dhamma talks, my mind has
become so peaceful and blissful, and I no longer feel
angry with anyone. The teacher said, Liar! Right after
that, her anger suddenly manifested.

When people went to visit Luangpu Jia, a venerable

master in the Forest Tradition of Thailand, they had to
have their mind well-prepared before approaching him.
Once Luangpu saw people coming, he would ask,
What are you here for? Other times, when lay devotees
approached Luangta, he would say Dont mess with me!
What are you doing here? He would keep telling them
to go back home.
Thats the trick of the teachers. They start teaching
their students as soon as they step into the monastery,
often quickly attacking them before they are prepared
for it.

Therefore, what students must know and prepare

for is that their teachers will be harsh on them for sure.
However, they will grasp Dhamma as a consequence.
The innate nature of the defilements is to be fond of
being praised, cherished, and welcomed. Thus, whenever
people were told to leave, they couldnt really take it.
They were really eager to approach the teacher. Instead
of getting a warm welcome as they expected, it turned
out that they were harshly asked, Why are you bothering
me? This kind of question was only meant to examine
how their mind would react. Those who could not take
it would feel dejected. At the same time, those who
were perceptive would have no response and disregard

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whatever their teacher said but listen to him because the

point of approaching a teacher was to learn from him,
not to be welcomed, adored, or praised. The primary
reason of going to see a teacher is to listen to his Dhamma
talks.

People who seek Dhamma will try to subdue their

mind like a goalkeeper whose job is to catch the ball
no matter what the circumstance is. He must be able to
catch it no matter how hard it comes. Accordingly, there
werent many people going to Wat Pa Baan Taad back
then because they were afraid of Luangta. The good thing
was that it made the monastery so quiet and simplified
daily life to keep the focus on meditation and avoid
unnecessary troubles.

The Strictness of Luangta

Because Luangta had a reputation for being very
stern and not really open to visitors, the monastery wasnt
popular. If they wanted to approach him, they would need
to get ready for his unfriendly welcome. People who
couldnt take it would choose to go to another monastery
instead. However, Wat Pa Baan Taad was most crowded
during the Kahina season. There were usually groups
of laypeople traveling from Bangkok by bus. They didnt
spend much time there, though. After they finished
offering and receiving blessings from the monks, they
would leavenot daring to spend a night there. During
the normal weekends, there were only a few lay people

A Monks Life

coming in two or three cars from Udon Thani province

to give alms food and offer the food at the monastery.

Due to the relatively small number of lay devotees,

after the meal and daily duties were completed, each of
us would abruptly go back to our own Ku to begin
walking and sitting meditations. If there was any monk
wandering outside his Ku, he would be told by Luangta
to get back to meditating. If this happened repeatedly,
he would be forced to leave the monastery straight away.
Luangta was very strict with the monks. He didnt
want them to waste their time taking delight in
defilements. He knew the tendency of inexperienced
monks to desire food and to feel the need to engage
in idle chitchatting and made sure that this kind of
behavior was cut short.

At Wat Pa Baan Taad, the monks would gather only

when Luangta called for the meeting. Luangta wanted
them to practice meditation in seclusion. Oftentimes,
there were monks secretly coming out to sit and relax
at the beverage Sl. Accordingly, Luangta made sure to
come check the monks every 30 minutes. The first time
that a monk was seen lolling around was still fine as
Luangta wouldnt say a word. However, if Luangta came
for the second time, the monk would have to run away
as quickly as possible; otherwise, he would be scolded.
Luangta would ask, Why are you still here? When will
you get enough of it? Why dont you get back to your
walking meditation path? Why dont you go to meditate?
Luangta always kept reprimanding his monks. He didnt
really allow monks to talk with each other. He wanted

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them to rush to their Ku right after finishing drinking

because talking could make their mind restless, potentially
leading to a fight or an argument.

If Luangta happened to see there were two or three

pairs of sandals in front of any Ku, those monks would
absolutely be reprimanded. When they wished to go
visit each other, they had to hide their sandals. Besides,
they had to talk very quietly so that their voices would
never leak out of their Ku. At that time, Luangta would
walk around at night to watch his monks. He did not allow
them to socialize or talk with each other. Sometimes,
Luangta didnt wear his sandals but quietly walked
barefoot so that it wouldnt make a noise. Also, he didnt
use a flashlight, which made the monks feel intimidated
and become more careful. If any of them did not engage
in meditation, they would be harshly criticized for sure.

I didnt like socializing with anyone because I was

captivated by meditation. I tended to stay at my Ku
alone for a long period of time. If it was really necessary,
I might go to talk to some monksmostly before dawn,
during sweeping time or the gathering for monastic duties.
I would talk to them for a few minutes and leave and
never had any discussion at my Ku. Normally, I went to
complete my daily routine duties at the meeting hall and
came right back to my Ku. Alternatively, I might go to
practice walking meditation in the forest. Staying alone
allowed me to feel so delighted and happy. Whenever
I practiced until my mind reached bliss, I wouldnt feel
like socializing with anyone. When the mind was so
blissful, it was like still water. The blissful mind could
begin rippling just by talking with others. It would no

A Monks Life

longer be clear, refreshing, and tranquil; also, it would

be such a waste of time. Besides calming my mind,
there was still another duty to fulfill which was even
more important. It was wisdom cultivation including
investigating the impermanence, suffering and
selflessness in the five aggregates (Khandhas).
Ever since I became ordained, I have never been to
any ceremonies or rituals such as those of robes offering,
Kahina ceremonies, celebrations, or funerals. During
the rains retreat, its part of the tradition where monks
have to approach their teachers and request forgiveness.
Luangta went to do it by himself as he would never let
his monks go anywhere. Luangta never took them to pay
respect to other senior monks outside the monastery.

At the funerals of some senior monks or teachers

in other monasteries, resident monks were not required
to attend. For instance, in the funeral of the Venerable
Ajahn Singthong, Luangta only let a couple of senior
monks go with him. The residents were not allowed to
go outside the monastery. Luangta said that the monks
who were still practicing meditation should not waste
their time doing other things. Luangta valued the priority
of practicing meditation rather than going to help out in
the funerals which was only the work of Dna. Going
outside simply prevented the monks from engaging in
meditation, and their mind became agitated and restless.
For these reasons, Luangta was really protective of them.
He didnt want them to get exposed to visible form, sound,
odor, and taste because these five aggregates would
potentially get stuck in their mind when they came back.
When they meditated, they would be thinking of what

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they previously saw and experienced, which was very

dangerous for the mind.

These are the reasons why I rarely went anywhere.

Since my early introduction to Dhamma practice, I never
got involved with any rituals. After I was given Dhamma
books which suggested concentrating inside the mind,
I always practiced in this manner. Nothing could turn my
attention away from focusing on the inside of the mind.

Refraining from Sleep

To refrain from sleep, practitioners can focus
on three positions: standing, walking and sitting while
meditating.

Concentrating on these three positions will prevent

one from falling into a long sleep. When I was extremely
sleepy, I would sleep in a sitting position for one or two
hours before waking up again. Afterwards, I would
continue walking meditation until I felt tired and then
switch to sitting meditation so that I wouldnt waste my
time sleeping. If I was falling asleep, I would make sure
to be in a sitting position. If I lay down, I would end up
sleeping for too long. Plus, I wouldnt feel like getting up
after waking up.

However, Dhamma practice really depends on

personal behaviors and preferences of each individual.
Some people are good at refraining from sleep,
relying on three positions. Others are fond of fasting

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123

or meditating in scary places. Practitioners must be

proactive and down to earth. They should not be too
selective in their living conditions and food and also be
able to sacrifice their life for their achievement by
contemplating death on a regular basis. In addition, they
have to contemplate that one day everyone has to die,
and there is no way to avoid death. Thus, they should
take death as a motivation for meditation. Realizing the
fact that everyone will die one day, they should be diligent
in their meditation while they are still alive. If they dont
have a sense of immediacy, death will come and they will
have lost their chance to see the truth about existence.

Frugality of Luangta
I heard that when Luangta came to Bangkok,
he would take a third-class train with a wooden seat.
He didnt fall asleep at night but remained sitting upright
throughout the journey. Even though he was offered
a sleeper class ticket, he refused to take it. By doing this,
he intended to strengthen his mind and subdue the
defilements so that they would be unable to afflict his
heart. Therefore, it is recommended that we should
follow what he did by always being frugal and content
with little.

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Behaviors of an Arahant
Luangta used to tell his students that what he
expressed or did was not out of anger. The forceful tone
of his remarks derived from the power of Dhamma. He
felt no anger or resentment toward anybody. It was just
an act. How about us? Can you act like him? For example,
if you fail to get the desired result, will you get upset?
Anger is not beneficial at all and it hurts you. If you get
angry, it is because you might be too obsessed with what
you are doing and forget that youre only acting. When
you take things so seriously, it shows that you are still
attached to sensual happiness. For instance, when you
cannot get what you want to eat, you will get upset.
Why not just think you are acting the role of whatever
you seem to be in this world?

Healthcare of Luangta
There are a number of monks who meditate regularly
and yet never develop osteoarthritis of the knee.
Likewise, when Luangta was more than 90 years old,
he could still go to many places to perform his duties
with efficiency. Thats because he knew how to maintain
good health by doing yoga exercises, practicing constantly.
When he came to watch the monks while they were
sweeping and cleaning at the meeting hall, he would be
doing stretching poses. Moreover, there were always
monks doing massage for him because when his muscles
were tight and stiff, rubbing could help release tension.

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125

In the past, Luangta always walked through the

monastery to check the monks at night. This was another
way of workouts, because sometimes he didnt have time
to walk for exercise. Therefore, he walked around the
compound to exercise and see if the monks and novices
were meditating.

When he was in his 90s, Luangta could still walk

very well for his very old age and was considered
distinctly healthy. He was active and his movement
was still quite spry. In addition, he could still do
anything by himself. Compared to Luangta, Somdet
Phra Yannasangvorn, who lived in the city, didnt have
a chance to walk much because he had to welcome
so many guests and lay devotees. Therefore, his health
gradually declined faster with old age.

In brief, as our body is impermanent, you had better

try to do what benefits others, as well as yourself, with
conscious awareness.

Dhamma Therapy
Most forest monks do not depend on medicines
or treatments, relying instead on herbal medicine when
sick and not going to the hospital to see the doctor except
for the diseases that can be treated effectively. If we have
malaria, we will rely on Dhamma Osoth, which are the
therapeutic qualities of Dhamma.

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Since my ordination, I have never taken any painkiller,

not keeping even one pill at my Ku, but Ive always
had Dhamma Osoth as pain relievers kept in my heart.
When the pain manifested, I would let it display. The pain
only occurred in my body, but it could not enter my mind.
Through meditation, the mind and the body can be
separated. The mind is one thing and the body is another.
For practitioners who are able to fast for five days or
seven days straight, the suffering arising from pains
will be insignificant to them. Therefore, you had better
let go of your body. You should always contemplate death,
and you will learn that no matter how well the body
is treated, you will have to die one day. Its such a waste
to spend too much time just taking care of it. It is much
better to treat the heart because it will give you
everlasting happiness, and you wont be bothered
by any health conditions. No matter how rich or poor
you are, you will not have any problems at all.
If you do not take care of your mind, you will be
defiled by the desire for this and that. You will want to
be rich and happy for the rest of your life. When you have
financial problems, your mind will be restless and
agitated. Therefore, you should not give excessive
importance to your body. We have been born and
have died repeatedly in numerous previous existences,
so we used to have countless bodies, which is like
having a lot of clothes. Accordingly, it will be better
if you concentrate on purifying your mind.

A Monks Life

Luangtas Personal Attendants

The monks who had an opportunity to serve as
personal attendants to Luangta would have access to
Dhamma or to the solutions to their meditation problems
throughout the time of serving him. In addition, the
attendants appeared to have more opportunities to learn
from him than the other monks. Staying close to Luangta
was like getting into the boxing ring, they had to handle
punches thrown at them. Therefore, they had to be well
prepared all the time. Subsequently, this allowed them
to develop mindfulness and wisdom to respond to his
needs. In contrast, those who didnt stay close to Luangta
were like audiences who could only observe. They didnt
have Luangta to help trigger Dhamma as often for them.
However, for those who were able to practice meditation
by themselves, they wouldnt need Luangta to motivate
them. Still, it would be a great opportunity to serve and
stay close to Luangta.

This situation was similar to the monk, nanda

Bhikkhu, who was very close to the Lord Buddha, which
enabled him to learn a lot about Dhamma. Yet, it wasnt
possible for everybody due to the fact that there were a
large number of the Buddhas disciples. It depended on
the Buddhas consideration as to who would be selected
to serve him. However, it was not absolutely necessary
that every disciple should be near the Lord Buddha.
Certainly, many of those who didnt get to serve the Lord
Buddha or meditation masters would still be able to
attain enlightenment as well.

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Memory and the Truth

Most of the Buddhist books in English contain the
theoretical study of Dhamma (Pariyatti) rather than
Dhamma practice (Paipatti). Those English books
usually list the names of the defilements and the types
of phenomena, but they fail to define their characteristics.
Luangta said, The knowledge gained from reading
is a function of memory, not the truth.

Normally we will try to imagine the picture of what

was mentioned in the book since we havent encountered
the real thing yet. Thus, all we can do is speculate and
imagine in our mind. Our mind is like eye-glasses that
are blurry or have the wrong prescription. We see things
and colors in accordance with the lenses of the glasses.
For example, we might believe we see something in red,
while the object is actually purple. Its just the tinted
eye-glasses that cause apparent vision problems resulting
in distortion of the color.
Likewise, the mind perceives things according to
our speculation. Therefore, only the knowledge gained
through theoretical study is not enough. Practitioners
have to put theoretical knowledge into practice so that
the truth can be determined. The mind will realize what
the truth is. The mind must be clear and clean prior to
performing the investigation. Although the mind does
not remain clean all the time, at least it can be temporarily
clean so that it will be able to see the truth in a flash.
Similarly, the clean eye-glasses can remain clear for

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129

a while, which is long enough for one to see the real

image clearly. Therefore, to visualize everything based
on the truth, the mind needs to attain Samdhi stage,
remain calm, and stay free from defilements.

Humans thoughts are under the control of Avijj

and Kilesas, or defilements. Avijj Paccay SakhrIgnorance conditions the arising of Sakhra. Our
thoughts are driven by Avijj, so the way we perceive
things will be controlled by Avijj, or delusion. This is
like the dirty eye-glasses that must be wiped and cleaned
so that we can see things as they really are. We will see
green objects as green, and red ones as red. We wont see
them in any other color.

Knowledge Excluded
from Tipitaka
According to the biography of Venerable Ajahn Mun
written by Luangta, Ajahn Mun was visited by the Lord
Buddha and his Arahant disciples who came to deliver
discourses on Dhamma and have conversations with him.

However, this is a special case which occurred

with the person who had an exceptional ability to
communicate with others in a spiritual way. People
who lack this ability will not be able to contact others
spiritually. This can be exemplified by contrasting
between people who own cell phones and those
who dont. People who have the phones will be able to

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communicate with others who also own them. Even if

they live in different countries, these people can still
make a call to each other. The story like that of Venerable
Ajahn Mun was just never documented in Tipiaka or the
Pli Canon.
Some people who were bookworm scholars reading
only Tipiaka would become skeptical and dead set
against Venerable Ajahn Mun, criticizing him, accusing
him of bragging. At the end of his biography, M.R. Kukrit
Pramoj, a Buddhist scholar, alleged that Venerable Ajahn
Mun rambled because what he talked about was never
found in Tipiaka. M.R. Kukrit, who thought he was an
expert in Tipiaka, insisted that what Venerable Ajahn
Mun mentioned never existed in Tipiaka.

Luangta replied that the knowledge in Tipiaka was

merely like water in a small jar, whereas the knowledge
manifesting in the mind of the Dhamma practitioners
was like water in a vast ocean. Likewise, the Lord
Buddhas knowledge that wasnt documented in the
scriptures was comparable to the immense volume of
water in the ocean. It was also like the leaves in the forest
which were countless.
The Lord Buddha asked the Bhikkhus whether the
leaves in his hand were more than the leaves in the forest.
The Bhikkhus answered that there were very few leaves
in his hand, but the leaves in the forest were countless
indeed. The Lord Buddha said that the knowledge in
his mind was like those leaves in the forest, but the
knowledge he taught them was like a handful of leaves.
He only covered what was necessary for them to apply
in their practice, and when they did practice, they would

A Monks Life

learn what he didnt teach. If they only studied from

Tipiaka, they shouldnt be so confident; otherwise, their
knowledge would be useless just like a plain palm leaf.
They should undertake meditation practice, and then
a vast amount of profound knowledge would manifest
in their hearts. At that time, they would not reject the
knowledge excluded from the scriptures.

Isaan Funeral Ceremony

During the early period of my stay at Wat Pa Baan
Taad, I participated in the funeral ceremony there. I noticed
that they did not use closed wooden coffins. The coffin
was made of paper with wooden frames, and it had no
lid. The cremation was done by placing the coffin on top
of firewood with two pieces of wood laid on top of the
coffin. When the fire started burning, the dead body
would spring up in the coffin for all to see. I participated
in the funerals several times. In contemplating death,
if you cannot picture it in your mind, you should go
to see the real thing. Keep visualizing it as it gives you
a picture of what will, one day, become of your body.
The funeral of Luangtas mother was held one
afternoon in front of the meeting hall in the monastery.
There was no crematory funeral pyre, only a pile of wood
on top of which the coffin was placed. When the time
came for the cremation, a fire was lit. Later that night,
when the fire burned itself out, the bones and ashes
were collected and sprinkled under the Bodhi tree in the
monastery. From dust to dust.

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In the morning, nothing was left to be seen in front

of the meeting hall. No remnants of the funeral remained.
Everything was put away. At the beginning, Luangta
wanted to have the cremation done the day of her death.
She passed away in the morning, and the cremation
would have been done in the afternoon of that day.
However, at the request of the relatives who wished to
allow those who lived far away from the funeral site to
join the funeral, the body was kept overnight for relatives
to come and pay respect. There was no religious ceremony
performed on that night. There was no chanting of
traditional Kusala Dhamma, the Abhidhamma verses.
Before the cremation, ten monks were invited to chant
the recollections on impermanenceAnicca vata
sankharafor her.
Kusala means wisdom. It refers to the deliberation
regarding a human as a doll made of earth, water, air, and
fire, which will age, get sick, and die. Therefore, Kusala
Dhamma should be given to a person before death, not
after. Kusala Dhamma must be given to a living person
who contemplates Kusala by himself or herself, not to
invite a monk to do it for him or her. The monk should
contemplate Kusala of his own body, while we should
also contemplate Kusala of our own bodies. In this way,
we create wisdom in our hearts and comprehend the
nature of our body: merely earth, water, air, and fire.
It is transient: It will age, experience sickness, and die.

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133

Fighting without Retreating

When I was at Wat Pa Baan Taad, I did not practice
the Dhamma with utmost efforts. I only practiced as much
as I was capable. Talking about utmost efforts might
create the sense of something too big to handle. This is
because there are many whose utmost efforts were
beyond mine since each persons Majjhim (middle path)
is not the same. We must do the best we can and that
is all.

Practicing Dhamma can be compared to driving

a car. You press on the gas pedal to the fullest. But whether
your car will run faster or slower than the other cars is
another matter. Your car is 150 cc.; you might encounter
a car with 250 cc., which also runs at its fullest speed.
That car is definitely running faster than your car. But
both cars will get to the destination. That is, if you do not
give up. But if you feel discouraged, you will not get there.
Practicing Dhamma, you will sometimes feel
discouraged or bored when you encounter obstacles.
But do not give up practicing. You should slow down,
take a break or read a Dhamma book. If you push too
hard, you will induce more stress and resistance to your
practice. Therefore, on days that you dont seem to get
anywhere with your practice after trying as hard as you
could, take a rest and resume your practice the next day
after you feel reinvigorated.
When you flow with the Dhamma, your practice will
be smooth and easy. When you flow against the Dhamma

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your practice will be tough and hard. It is like walking

with the wind or against the wind. When you flow with
the Dhamma, it is easy to make the mind calm and peaceful.
On the other hand, when you flow against the Dhamma,
it is hard. This is why you should always observe the
mind. If the mind does not want to meditate, you should
do something else, like reading Dhamma books. If the
mind wants to keep thinking, let it think about Dhamma,
the 32 parts of the body, birth, aging, sickness, or death.
Thinking about Dhamma is the way of developing
wisdom. If the mind does not want to think and wants
to become still, then it is easy to meditate. Thats why
you should constantly observe the mind.

When you feel discouraged, you should think of your

teachers or the Lord Buddha. Being human beings like
you, they also had to struggle when taming the mind. You
should use them as your role models. See how they fought
and won. They never gave up. They also had to take
a break because they could not practice intensely all
the time, but they never deviated from their meditation
practice.

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135

No Other Interest except

in the Dhamma
While residing at Wat Pa Baan Taad for nine years,
I did not venture out. Nor did I form any close relationship
with anyone at the monastery since I had entered monkhood. Although we resided in the same monastery, I only
knew the other monks by name and by face. I did not
form close relationships with anyone because we all had
our own duties and responsibilities.
Staying there is the same as staying here. Every
morning I went to the meeting hall to prepare to go out
begging alms. Upon my return, I consumed my meal,
cleaned up, and returned to my Ku. In the afternoon,
I swept the outside. When the chore was done, I had
hot tea. After that, it was time for a bath before doing
meditation. That is the essence of the life of a practicing
monk.

Chapter Seven

Moving to
Wat Yannasangvararam

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Moving to Wat Yannasangvararam

139

Goodbye to Wat Pa Baan Taad

had never visited Wat Bowon

and had not known anyone there. However,
merit brought me to meet Somdet Phra Yannasangvorn,
who, out of compassion, ordained me. Merit also helped
introduce me to various forest monasteries. This was
because there were several foreign monks who, after
ordination, followed their mentors to reside at the forest
monasteries. There were the monasteries of Luangpu
Khao, Luangpu Thate, Luangpu Fan, and Luangta Mah
Boowa. After I was ordained at Wat Bowon on February
19, 1975, I chose to go to the monastery of Luangta Mah
Boowa that April. I had planned to visit a few of the
forest monasteries eventually. However, when I arrived
at Wat Pa Baan Taad, I did not go anywhere else.

I stayed there for eight years and eight months,

leaving there in December 1983 after completing nine
rains retreats. I stayed there all the time and only went
to Udon Thani 4-5 times and was invited to perform
Buddhist rituals outside the monastery once or twice.
I went to visit a doctor two or three times for treatment

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My Way

of malaria. The farthest trip I made during my stay there

was to join a Kahina ceremony in Chiang Mai.

During my stay at Wat Pa Baan Taad, I never went

to pay respect to other teachers. I did not feel compelled
to go because I knew that the teachers would teach me
the same lesson: that is to meditate. All of them would
teach the same lesson about generosity (Dna), morality
(Sla), and mind development (Bhvan). You should
search for the right teaching, and once you have found
it within your heart, you do not have to search for an
external teacher.
I did not go for Dhutaga walks because I knew that
I could practice Dhamma at the monastery. A Dhutaga
walk that a monk undertakes is an activity that cuts into
his meditation time. Luangta promoted meditation.
If a monk or a novice desired to meditate, Luangta
would not give him assignments that take time away
from meditation.

After spending five rains retreats, in April 1980,

I asked Luangtas permission to visit home. Permission
was granted and I spent approximately two weeks
at home. On my way back, I stopped to meditate
at Chulabhorn Dam in Chaiyaphum province in
Northeastern Thailand. I meditated there for about
a week when I heard about the crash of the plane that
carried five senior Buddhist monks. They all died in
the crash. I decided to return to the monastery in case
I could be of assistance to Luangta. Upon arrival, I was
told that Luangta did not want the monks and novices
to help. He wanted them to meditate. This is because

Moving to Wat Yannasangvararam

worldly tasks are coarse, while the inside work is delicate.

If you are performing internal work and then go out
to perform external work, you might spoil the internal
work already done. Therefore, he did not allow monks
and novices to go. Only Luangta and two senior monks
went to oversee the funeral of the dead monks.

After the end of the eighth rains retreat, I asked

permission to go out to meditate and to also visit home.
That was the end of 1982. I went to visit home first. Then
I went to Wat Yannasangvararam (Wat Yan) for the first
time. I had heard that Somdet Phra Yannasangvorn had
this temple built. Luangpu Jia used to reside there as an
abbot. Therefore, I went there to see how this monastery
was. I stayed there for about two weeks, and then I went
to stay at the garden of Wat Chonglom for about three
months. After that I returned to Wat Pa Baan Taad to
spend my ninth rains retreat there.
After the rains retreat of 1983, when the Kahina
ceremony was completed, I heard news from home that
my father was ill with cancer of the neck. I then asked
permission to leave so I could be near my father and
take care of him. During this time, I stayed at Wat
Phothisamphan in Pattaya. My father was under medical
care until June 1984 when he passed away. The cremation
took place right after his death and was over when the
rains retreat was approaching, so I did not go back to
Wat Pa Baan Taad.

When I left Wat Pa Baan Taad, I did not intend to

leave for good. The reasons for my not returning were
that it was almost the rains retreat when the funeral

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ended, and I knew that many monks wished to stay at

Wat Pa Baan Taad, therefore, my returning would take
away some peoples opportunity to stay there. I also
thought that I had had the privilege and ample time of
being there from the first to the ninth rains retreats,
for more than eight years. So I decided not to go back to
Wat Pa Baan Taad, and I have never returned since then.

Staying at Wat Yan

I spent my first nine years after being ordained at
Wat Pa Baan Taad, the tenth year at Wat Phothisamphan
in Pattaya, and from the eleventh year (1984) until
present, at Wat Yan.

After my one year at Wat Phothisamphan in Pattaya,

at the end of the rains retreat in 1984 after the Kahina
ceremony, I came to stay at Wat Yan where I had visited
earlier. At that time, I stayed at the temple because
the monks residence on the mountain had not been
established. Its been almost 30 years since I moved up
to the hillside residence in 1986, but I have continued to
participate in ceremonies, going for alms round, and
eating at the same meeting hall in the main temple where
monks who are not ready for the mountain solitude
reside.
My routines at Wat Yan havent varied much from
when I was at Wat Pa Baan Taad with Luangta. I have
gone down for alms round and when finished with the
morning routines, gone back up to the mountain. I have
practiced meditation as usual and though I havent taught

Moving to Wat Yannasangvararam

formally, I have been willing to talk about the Dhamma

with anyone who is interested. I have offered Dhamma
talk to the best of my ability with no particular goals in
mind.

My main focus, however, has always been to look

after the mind, to live simply and peacefully, and to
always stay in the present until the end of my time.
If something at this monastery were to have caused
agitation and disturbance, preventing the heart from
getting calm, I would have had to leave. However,
I would not have known where to go because I had not
visited any other temple or associated with any monks
from other monasteries.

History of Wat Yan

Wat Yannasangvararam (Wat Yan) is a Dhammayuttika Nikya Royal temple (Aram Luang). Its importance
ranks within the third tier of the royal patronage (Woramahavihara) and is situated in Tambon Huay Yai, Amphur
Bang Lamung, Chonburi province. His Holiness, Somdet
Phra Yannasangvorn (Charoen Suvaddhano), the late
Supreme Patriarch of the Thai Sagha, was the chief
implementer of the building of the temple. He had
envisioned a temple used for religious activities and
meditation and pilgrimage with the strict discipline and
practices similar to Wat Bowonniwet, a royal temple
in Bangkok; however, due to its beautifully designed
architecture, Wat Yan has become a tourist attraction,
constantly receiving visitors as well.

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The original 300 rais (approximately 119 acres)

of land that the temple is built on was donated to His
Holiness in 1976 by Dr. Kajorn and Khunying Nitiwadee
Ontrakarn. Supporters for the building project added
another 66 rais (approximately 26 acres) and the temple
was given the name Wat Yannasangvararam. On March
25, 1982, it received the royal decree granting the land
for religious usage. His Holiness the late Supreme
Patriarch oversaw the temple as official abbot and
the temple now covers 366 rais (approximately 145
acres) of land excluding the additional 2500 rais
(approximately 988 acres) of land used for HM
the Kings royal project.

Buildings in Wat Yan

Every building at Wat Yan was built as a tribute
to the kings of Thailand and the royal families who
have protected Thailand and its people. For example,
The

ordination hall (Ubosot) took the Chinese

style design from Wat Bowonniwet as a tribute to
King Taaksin and the principle Buddha image in the
Ubosot is named Somdet Phra Buddha Yannaret
as a tribute to King Naresuan the Great.

The pagoda (Chedi) was constructed as a tribute

to all nine kings of the Chakri dynasty.

The Pavilion (Mondop) at the top of the mountain

is a tribute to Their Majesties the King and Queen.

Moving to Wat Yannasangvararam

The

praying Hall is a tribute to HRH the Crown

Prince and HRH the Crown Princess.

The Eating Hall is a tribute to HRH the Princess

Mother and HRH Princess Galyani Wattana, the

Kings sister.

History of Meditation
Residence at Chi-On Mountain
His Holiness Somdet Phra Yannasangvorns vision
for Wat Yan was that it would be a meditation retreat
temple. For many years Wat Yan didnt have an abbot.
As senior monks from Wat Bowonniwet then werent
meditation teachers, His Holiness had asked meditation
monks from the Northeast such as Luangpu Jia, a venerable
master in the Forest Tradition of Thailand, to stay
temporarily for a couple of retreat seasons. Some other
meditation monks intermittently came to stay. Finally
in 1982, Phra Ajahn Whan Chulapandito, a disciple
of Luangpu Khao Anlayo, from Wat Tham Klong Pane
was invited to become the head monk and stayed for
several years.
While there, Phra Ajahn Whan saw that the mountain
was a quiet and peaceful place conducive to meditation,
so he asked His Holiness for his permission to develop it.
At that time there was only a walkway through the
woods and buildings materials were donated and
carried up through the paths by the villagers to build a

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Sl (meeting hall) and Kus (monks dwellings). A few

months after these structures were built, His Holiness
the late Supreme Patriarch received His Majesty the King
there. Those who accompanied His Majesty expressed
a desire to upgrade the structures to improve it, but
the villagers, who had helped build the original, refused
and threatened to stop giving alms to the monks if
the original structures were torn down; thus they remain
standing until the present time.
Through the years the mountain retreat structures
have received many honorable guests ranging from His
Majesty the King, His Holiness the late Supreme Patriarch,
and Luangta Mah Boowa. It has held a special auspicious
aura, and while other attempts through the years to
rebuild and upgrade were no longer rejected by the
villagers, these improvements never came to fruition
anyway. This story about the villagers attachment to the
memories of how hard it was to carry building materials
up the mountain made them refuse the offers for a more
permanent structure to replace the original ones is
a good example of how the feeling of attachment to
things can create problems. Had it been a different
temple, the original shack would likely have been
replaced without much fanfare.
Phra Ajahn Whan spent the first night at the retreat,
and he said that after he got into a meditative state,
a large dark-skinned man appeared with a big stick
trying to chase him away. Phra Ajahn said that he
explained to the being that he wasnt there to try and
take over the place and chase anyone away, but he was
there to practice Dhamma to seek peace of mind as taught

Moving to Wat Yannasangvararam

by the Buddha. The man then walked away. The second

night the same being came back, more friendly this time,
and told Phra Ajahn that if the place would be used in
this manner, then it would be possible to coexist. Since
then other monks and novices have been able to use the
mountain retreat.

Up on the mountain, the retreat is meant for

solitude. Individual monks meditate instead of
participating in group activities such as chanting.
The solitary retreat doesnt suit everyone and some can
only last one night, not able to handle unexplained
encounters while meditating. For example, one
New Years Eve a layman asked to stay at the retreat.
After one such encounter, he asked me for advice
about how to handle it. I recommended giving
loving-kindness and asking the spirit of the place for
permission to stay and meditate. However, the man
never found out if it would work since he didnt feel
strong enough to stay around to try it.

Personally Ive never had any such encounters in

the 30 years that Ive been here. Ive never seen any of
those beings and nobody ever appeared to chase me
away. It could be that Ive never made any changes or
additions to the retreat buildings that are not necessary.
I think that if one comes to stay at the mountain retreat
with a sincere desire to meditate, keep the mind and
spirit calm and not let thoughts run wild, the delusion
will not be likely to occur.

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Somdet Did Not Recognize Me

I was ordained at Wat Bowonniwet by Somdet
Phra Yannasangvorn, His Holiness the late Supreme
Patriarch. I had only been at Wat Bowon for six weeks
when I asked His Holiness permission to go study with
Luangta Mah Boowa at Wat Pa Baan Taad. He gave me
the permission to go, and after I left, I never went back
to visit Somdet after that. It was not until I came to stay
at Wat Yan that I saw him again, so understandably,
he didnt remember me.

He asked me who ordained me. His secretary

recognized me because he was my trainer after my
ordination and pointed out that His Holiness, himself,
was the one who ordained me. Not being remembered
was of little consequence to me, especially since Somdet
later gave me the opportunity to show my gratitude for
his ordaining me many years before.

Repaying the Kindness

of My Preceptor
Ecclesiastical order is the order of the ranking
for Thai monks. Monks who have administrative
responsibilities or monks with higher ranking may
induct other monks into the ecclesiastical order by
the rank given to them according to the royal decree.

Moving to Wat Yannasangvararam

The position of Phra Chulanaayok is a high rank

within the ecclesiastical order that only exists under the
Supreme Patriarch because it is a special appointment
with responsibilities for special tasks for one whose
qualifications have been screened by His Holiness the
Supreme Patriarch.

Somdet Phra Yannasangvorn bestowed this high

rank of Phra Chulanaayok in his ecclesiastical order on
me and appointed me the Assistant Abbot of Wat Yan
in order to oversee all the monks and activities within
the temple in his place. As the Assistant Abbot, anyone
ordained at the temple will come under my charge and
care. In this capacity, I also provide knowledge to anyone
who is interested in practicing Dhamma and at the same
time, I am repaying the kindness of my preceptor by
serving His Holiness.

Meditation Center
on Chi-On Mountain
The meditation center on the mountain is not that
well-known, so there are very few visitors to disturb
the peaceful environment. There is also a check point to
prevent any unauthorized entry into the preserved forest.
Most merit makers at Wat Yan arent always aware of
its existence. They tend to come and offer alms in the
morning, listen to Dhamma talk, and leave. Because
the center is quite small, care has been taken to keep it
private.

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The center is situated in the 2,000 rais (approximately 791 acres) of the non-hunting area of Chi-On
Mountain, with a nearly 8 km-long road running around
the areas. The ten or so meditation buildings for monks
sit on approximately 80 to 100 rais (approximately
32 to 40 acres) around the circular walkway. Usually only
five or six of these buildings are occupied at one time
because monks ordained at Wat Yan, in order to practice
meditation, usually come to study with me. Others who
are temporarily ordained dont usually prefer to stay at
the mountain center because it looks barren and lacks
water and electricity. Unlike the main temple below
where water is plentiful, the only water available for each
Ku on the mountain is rain water stored in two or three
tanks. However, monks can also take a shower at the main
temple in the morning before going on alms round.
During the earlier days, water conservation was severe
monks could only use four or five bowls of water to wash
each day.
Whenever I want something, I can get it without
asking. The walkway was originally made of dirt, and
in the rainy season, the path became muddy and difficult
to walk on. The mud would stubbornly stick to monks
sandals and cause them to slip, making walking hazardous.
I thought that a concrete walkway should be constructed
instead. Not long after that, a lay devotee asked me if
I needed anything, such as Kus. I told him that there
were enough Kus to accommodate the monks and
explained the need for a concrete walkway. The lay person
gave me a check after I told him about the estimated cost
of the concrete road construction.

Moving to Wat Yannasangvararam

Water containers are also essential. When building

the Kus, the donors did not realize the importance
of water containers. Therefore, each Ku was usually
equipped with one water container, which was not
adequate. I thought that there should be three containers
for each Ku. Not long after that, water containers
were sufficiently provided for nearly all the Kus by
generous lay persons.

Routines and Responsibilities

of Monks at Wat Yan

Monks residing at the main temple dont have to

walk very far, and electricity and ample water are available.
Those who stay up on the mountain have to start out
before dawn, around 4:30 a.m. to make the 3.5 kilometer
walk in order to start out at 5:45 a.m. for alms round.
It takes about 45 minutes to walk down to the main
temple and monks make the trek rain or shine.

The reasons that there is never a ride to bring

the monks down from the mountain are that, firstly,
it is too early for the drivers to get up, and secondly,
it is also a meditative practice to use the time to think
about mortality because living in the wilderness,
one never knows what one would encounter (snakes,
other animals, etc.). By not living in a comfortable and
convenient location, one can spend the time during the
downhill walk considering the possibilities that death
may occur at any time. Through this practice, one gains
the wisdom to accept the eventuality of death and the
mind becomes free from fears.

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Once reaching the main temple (around 5:30 a.m.)

and having about 15 minutes to rest, a car would pick up
the monks to go for alms round. Wat Yan does not follow
the ascetic practices and monks can accept food given to
them inside or outside of the temple; theres no fasting
period because theres no tradition of serious meditation
practice at this temple. Most monks who stay at the
temple are usually those who are ordained temporarily
for three months. Some who stay on longer only follow
the ritual routines such as chanting, praying, and seeking
alms.

When the monks return to the temple after alms

seeking around 7:00 a.m., there usually are supporters
who bring food to donate at the eating hall. During the
weekend or holy days, the process is finished by around
8:00 a.m., and the Dhamma talk is given for about half
an hour before the monks, along with the people who
came to give food, start to eat. During the normal week
days, it takes less time. Everyone disperses after the meal.
The monks from the mountain then walk back up the hill
and usually begin the day with walking meditation to
ward off sleepiness before sitting down to meditate.
Some may take a nap first if necessary. They usually
take a break around midday and continue to do either
walking or sitting meditations. Sometimes they sweep
the ground, keeping the mindfulness on the movement
of the sweeping, keeping the mind off of other matters,
and staying with the present that way. Once the
mindfulness is established in the present, the mind
will be still, just like the ball on a pendulum that has
stopped swinging to the left and the right.

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153

Meditation Center for Laymen

At Wat Yan, theres a meditation retreat for lay
people to stay, but there are no teachers to help them.
There is morning (5:00 a.m.) and evening (6:00 p.m.)
chanting and praying with a half-hour meditation
session afterward. After that, meditators return to
their rooms situated in a large building, each bedroom
having an en suite bathroom just like in hotels. They are
required to stay for at least three days and no more
than seven days each time. The minimum three-day
requirement is set to keep out tourists who need an
overnight place to stay while passing through the area.
On the mountain, due to the Spartan facility
the retreat can only handle a few people at a time as
the rain water in the tanks does not last for so long,
and there is no electricity eitheronly laymen who
had been ordained at the temple previously are allowed
to stay a night or two if a Ku is available. Only serious
meditators tend to like the peacefulness and the
stillness that the mountain has to offer, as barren
as it is, because it is more conducive to meditation.
Even novice monks are not allowed to stay at the
mountain Ku right away so that they would not disturb
the other monks. The new monks have to stay at the main
temple below and are observed to determine whether
or not they appreciate the peaceful quietness that
the mountain has to offer and whether or not they are
interested in meditation. Being up on the mountain
without the desire for solitude would be useless.

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For lay people who are really interested in the

meditation retreat, it is recommended that one come
alone to cut down the talking and socializing so that more
time can be spent concentrating on meditation.

Observation of Myself
When I was first ordained, in order to stave off
afternoon hunger, I used to drink hot cocoa with several
spoonfuls of sugar. This practice had no ill effects until
I got older when I started to notice that I was experiencing
an allergic reaction to sugar. I developed sores in my
mouth. Generally, most people tend not to think about
the cause; they just treat the sores with medication.

However, I started to observe my food intake and

kept reducing things that I thought might be the cause
until I reduced the sugar intake. If I took less sugar for a
couple of days, the sores would go away; increasing it,
they would come back. Thus I determined the actual
cause and noticed the warning signs. I no longer developed
any sores in the mouth, and as Im getting more advanced
in age, I hardly take anything sweet anymore. Its really
up to each of us to do what is right for the body.
Our body usually gives us warning signs about
whether or not we are taking good care of it by making
sure we have enough sleep and exercise. If we sit around
all the time, we are likely to experience a lack of energy.
With regular exercises such as walking and doing physical
chores, the body usually feels healthier and stronger.

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155

We need to keep observing the body to determine

if any part of living would give it problems. For example,
many things can create stomach problems. For me, if
I drink milk every day, my stomach is usually fine.
Skipping a day or two, then drinking it again, can upset
my stomach.

Bitten by a Snake at Wat Yan

I was bitten by a snake once at Wat Yan. It was still
dark one early morning when I was walking down a clear
path that Ive used for so many years without a problem.
I was so familiar with the path that I didnt use the
flash light. The dim light from the stars and the moon
seemed adequate.

I thought that I was pricked by a thorn so I shone

the light on it and saw a fairly small Malayan Pit Viper.
I squeezed blood out through the small bite that looked
like a needle hole and went for help at the nearby forest
officials residence. By the time I got there, my leg had
begun to hurt and it was hard to walk. They put lime on
the bite to help pull out the venom and got me to the
hospital.

It was almost 6:00 a.m. when we got to the hospital.

The blood test showed normalcy at that point because
it hadnt been long enough for the poison to spread yet.
We had to wait six more hours to test it again. I thought
that I would get the serum right away, but they only
hooked me up to a saline solution. I asked the nurse

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about it, and she said that the poison from this type of
snake doesnt kill right away or make your heart stop
or destroy the nerves. It makes the blood thin so the
bleeding would not stop. The doctor had to keep checking
to see if the blood would coagulate. He said that since
the bite happened early in the morning, the nocturnal
snake had likely used the poison for hunting during
the night, and the poison that got into the body might
dissipate without treatment, saving the patient from
a possible allergic reaction to the serum. Until the
explanation was given to me, I was quite anxious, thinking
that my time might have come and trying to resign myself
to the fact.

By noon the second blood test showed that the

blood would not coagulate after 30 minutes while the
normal time for it should have been within 10 minutes.
The serum was then given and I was monitored for
possible shock, resulting from an allergic reaction. The
first dosage, given intravenously, took about 45 minutes.
After six hours, the blood test still showed no coagulation,
so the second dosage had to be given as well. The blood
test after another six hours showed normal coagulation,
but the wound and some veins became visibly darkened.
The doctor recommended a two-day observation, saying
that if gangrene appeared, part of the leg muscles might
have to be removed. However, after two days the skin
regained its color, perhaps because of squeezing the
wound when I was bitten or the early application of the
lime right after the bite. Luckily, no removal of flesh was
necessary.
Nobody thinks about getting a snake bite, but if
it should happen, Sati (awareness) to prevent the mind

Moving to Wat Yannasangvararam

from excessive worry will help. You are not supposed to

ignore a problem like this or be at the mercy of death.
You need to do something about it. If you need help from
a doctor, you should do it.

Luangtas Visits to Wat Yan

In the beginning, Luangta who kindly visited us
quite often, used to come almost every year. Before Suan
Sangdham was built, he used to have his retreats at
a forest meditation center at Wat Chonglom, tambon
Nakluea, whose abbot was Luangpor Buagate. A Chinese
merchant, Khun Gimgai, had built a Ku for Luangta at
this temple. I sometimes would go there to pay respect
to him when I heard about his visits.
He came to stay on the mountain once to seek
solitude and a quiet place to rest when his heart condition
was aggravated. He came by himself and chose to stay
at the Sl, telling us that all he wanted was peace and
quiet and that he wouldnt need to eat the next day.
He stayed there for one day until his disciples picked
him up the following day.
After Suan Sangdham was built, Luangta would
only stop by once in a while when he came through this
area. He came unannounced but Ive always been here
to receive him since, as mentioned, I rarely left Wat Yan.
Ive never been back to Wat Pa Baan Taad since 1983
though it has remained an important place that offers
peace and quiet with teachers who can guide us and help
solve problems.

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Funeral Rites for Our Teachers

Paying respect to our teachers after their passing
can be done with or without attending the funeral rites.
It is not necessary to be in the presence of their bodies
because we can honor them right where we are.
As Luangta always taught us, practicing the Buddhas
teaching such as giving (Dna), keeping the precepts,
and meditating is the true way to honor the Buddha,
Dhamma, and Sagha. Where we do this is not important.

The Lord Buddha said, If you stay close to me and

touch my robe, but do not follow my teaching, then you
are really far away from me. But if you put my teaching
into practice, even if you are far away, you are actually
close to me. For one who sees the Dhamma, sees me, the
Tathgata. One who sees me, the Tathgata, sees the
Dhamma. Therefore, the important thing is to put the
Lord Buddhas teaching into practice and practice it
correctly and perfectly.
When we put into practice the Lord Buddhas
teaching, whether we hear from the Lord Buddha himself
or from his Noble Disciples, we are actually honoring
them. Their goal is for us to become enlightened and
released from suffering, because it is the most important
thing for us.

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159

The Substitute Teacher

for Luangta
Luangtas teachings have become the substitute
teacher for Luangta, so we are never without a teacher.
An ample amount of his teaching had been recorded
in forms of books and voice recordings as well as in
videos. These should never be kept high on the altar but
should be read and listened to regularly. The teachings
are timeless and do not deteriorate with time or with the
passing of the teacher.
Luangtas teachings remain as effective now as they
were in his live Dhamma talks. Even though his body has
left us, his teachings have remained. If we accept his
words into our heart and follow the practice, we will
benefit from them the same way we would if we had
heard them live from his talks. His teachings become the
truth only when we follow them and practice Dhamma
to wash away greed, anger and obsessions. The truth
in the teachings will stay in our mind and will provide
protection so that we can weather the hard times and
remain happy in any situations.

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Conclusion
My life has been with the Dhamma since the day
I started to read a Dhamma book. Reading my first
Dhamma book filled me with the conviction that I wanted
to practice the Dhamma, and I have been eager to focus
on it to the exclusion of almost everything else. In so
doing, the results materialized quickly. The Lord Buddha
predicted seven years at the most. When I read the
prediction, I never gave much thought, as to whether that
was possible or not, because at that time I just wanted
to practice Dhamma without interruption and without
giving up. The only thing that I was afraid of was failure.
I did not care how long it would take me to attain the
ultimate goal. I knew that as long as I kept on practicing,
I would definitely get there. To me, practicing Dhamma
is like eating. If I keep on eating, I will eventually get full.

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on the Mountain

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Dhamma on the Mountain

I never used to give Dhamma talks, but it had

become necessary because if I didnt do it, nobody else
at the temple would do it. When I began, I felt a bit
nervous but as I continued, I realized that I could do it,
so I just let it flow. I used to prepare and memorize
the Dhamma talk to make sure that I knew what I was
going to say. But now I no longer need to do that. I just
let the words flow out naturally like turning on the
water faucet.

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Natthi Santi Para Sukkha. No happiness can

be greater than the happiness of the absolute peace that
the practitioner of mental development will come to
possess following the total extinction of defilements. The
happiness generated by Samadhi (meditative calm and
concentration) is temporary, comparable to a movie
preview. The happiness of Nibbna, on the other hand,
is compared to the main feature that is shown all day and
all night, 24 hours a day. Whether walking, standing,
sitting or lying down, you will always be in this state of
supreme bliss. There is no need to do any more Dhamma
practice. You have your fill of Dhamma, abstaining
from committing sin and letting go of your attachment
to doing good deeds.

Dhamma on the Mountain

Money, gold, and other worldly possessions

are not the sources of happiness. The true source of
happiness is the virtue that dwells in your heart.
Morality, however great or small, will lessen the strength
of desire in your heart. When desire decreases, happiness
will increase. Happiness is in your heart; therefore, wealth
and worldly possessions are not important. We should
have in our possession only necessary things. For example,
this Sl serves the purpose of protecting us from
the sun and the rain and has enough space for needed
activities. It does not have to cost a lot to build. The major
consideration in acquiring anything should be based on
its function or purpose. Cost should not be the main
factor. If a cheaper item can serve the same purpose as
the more expensive one, we should choose the cheaper
one, because it will set a good example. We do not have
to put in time and effort to bring in more money to build
something that is costly but will serve the same purpose
as the one that is less expensive. The same goes for food.
A meal that costs 50 baht and a meal that costs 500 baht
serve the same purpose. They both fill you up. Meals
eaten at the temple will fill you up as much as expensive
meals at a hotel. Both experiences will pass. It is better
to save the time you will spend on earning money to pay
for expensive meals to do something to benefit society
and religion.

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Do merit for merits sake. Do merit and give alms

from your heart. Do not expect return or compensation
of the deed from anyone. Do it out of loving-kindness
(Mett). Let go. Do not hold on to things, property, and
wealth. Having more than what is needed is not beneficial
to you. On the contrary, it will create suffering because
you will worry about it being lost or stolen. It is better
to offer it as alms in order to get rid of the problem, and
at the same time you will feel happy because you have
helped those in need. This is the purpose of merit making
and alms giving.

Dhamma on the Mountain

Nowadays there is confusion in our society because

of the lack of religion in peoples hearts. Religion has its
presence in temples, in various objects, but people do
not embrace religion in their hearts. Their hearts are
filled with defilements and cravings. They go to the
temple to argue or to fight with each other. If you want
to go to the temple, you must go in peace, go with
the intention of not causing problems for others.
The ultimate aims of going to the temple are to practice
Dhamma, to improve oneself through meditation,
and to observe the precepts. Do not pay attention to
other peoples opinions or viewpoints. It is better to
behave like a small mouse, rather than a big lion. A big
lion might get into a fight whereas a small mouse will not
run into a problem. As a result, you will have time to
meditate.

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Education through reading Dhamma and

practicing on your own without the benefit of a
mentor will be difficult and might not take you to
your destination. This is because you might be tempted
by desires and trapped by delusion. For example, you
may think you have attained enlightenment, even though
you are still a layman. You think that if you do not infringe
on others, do not have greed, do not have desire, you have
reached enlightenment. You do not know that, living as
a layman, you are still trapped in visual objects, sounds,
smells, tastes and tactile sensations. If you live as a monk
in the forest, will you feel the same way you feel when
you are at home or not? Will you feel peaceful and calm
or not? If you have not gone through the experience,
you will not know the difference. If you want to know,
you will have to go through the test. For example, you
might want to find out if your fear is gone. You might
think that you are no longer afraid because you are in a
place where there is nothing to trigger your fear. If you
are in a place where you are surrounded by danger like
being in a forest, will you still feel calm in that kind of
situation? If you have not tested yourself in various
situations, you might be deluded.

Dhamma on the Mountain

We have to be aggressive and go on the offensive.

We must not wait for defilements to first launch an
attack before we start to fight. We will risk not being
able to win if defilements launch their attack first. This
is because upon attacking, defilements will overpower
us and leave us totally weak. Whatever defilements
desire, such as craving for food or drinks, we will have
to give in. We have to go on an offense by setting limits
and a timetable regarding how much to eat or to drink.
For example, if we limit our food intake to once a day,
whatever we wish to eat, we will have to eat during
that time. Whatever we wish to drink, we will only drink
at that time. Beyond that time we will only drink water.
This is how it has to be managed.

Watching television is off limits. Sell the TV set.

Remove anything that is connected with entertainment.
Donate all entertainment gadgets. That is what we call
being aggressive and going on the offensive. If we sit
and wait, defilements will entice us to watch this and
that, eat this and that. When this kind of craving occurs,
we might not be able to win the fight. Without the props
of the defilements, when the craving occurs but we
do not have anything to chew or to watch, we will not
have a problem.

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We have not seen or recognized the value of having

peace of mind because we do not often look into our
mind. We have been preoccupied with observing
material things, gauging their values, and neglecting
the care of our mind, which has been left withered,
lonely, hungry, and full of cravings. We do not look into
our mind. And even if we do, we look in the wrong place.
The recitation of Buddho and concentration on the
meditation objects are practices that bring us back to
focus on observing our mind, its condition, and how to
take care of it. These practices should be repeated
as often as we can. If we do not perform the practices,
we will not be able to see the condition of our mind and
the care it needs.

Dhamma on the Mountain

Life is like a candle. Once lit, it will continue to

be shortened. As you age, your life span becomes
shorter. The number increases now you are 40 or 50
years old, but the remaining years of your life continue
to be shorter. The remaining time to practice in line with
the Path (Magga) gradually decreases. Do not waste time.
You should get on with this. Relieve yourself from
worldly affairs. Do away with whatever is not essential.
Commit yourself to this work of mental development.
This kind of work is genuine, leading you to the cessation
of suffering while endless worldly work takes you
nowhere.

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The Dhamma practice aims at eliminating wants

and desires in order to bring peace to your heart.
It is a waste of time to look at things that do not extinguish
desires. Take, for example, the sun and the trees. These
bring you nothing useful because they are not things
that create problems. You should look at things that bring
you problems, things that create turmoil and suffering
in your heart. You should look at themthings such as
deterioration of your body and that of your loved ones,
so you will accept the fact that one day all of us will
end up this way. Our bodies as well as those of our loved
ones will one day stop functioning, becoming ashes
and bone fragments. That is how you should look.
When looking at the person you desire to have sexual
relationship with, you should see the skeleton within
the body. If your loved one dies today, can you still think
of having an intimate relationship with this person?
You can be with your loved one while he or she is alive,
but when your loved one is dead, you will think that it is
a ghost lying there and you will not want to be with him
or her any more.
This is how you should think in order to extinguish
sexual desire because sexual desire does not bring

Dhamma on the Mountain

peace. If you want happiness generated by peace or

calm, you must eliminate your sexual desire. You must
regularly contemplate loathsomeness (Asubha). Think
about the unattractiveness of the body. Think about
the situation when one is dead for three days and the
body decomposes and emanates stench. Do you still want
to have sexual relationship with this body? This way of
thinking will extinguish your desire. You can then live
alone, and your heart will have peace. You will achieve
genuine happiness without the help of impermanent
things. As someone you care about is impermanent,
when this person is gone, you will be sad and lonely.
If you have happiness in your heart, you do not want
anything else. That is the reason why you should
contemplate eliminating everything from your life.
You should be aware that material things will
eventually leave us or will deteriorate. Even our own
body will also deteriorate. However, the deterioration
of the body does not mean that you will no longer be
living. You are still alive; however, you have to decide
what kind of existence you will have. You will either have
a miserable existence or you will be free of misery. If
you accept the impermanence of your body, you will

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escape misery, be indifferent and happy like nothing

has happened. If you use wisdom (Pa) in your
contemplation, you will see that it is even better not to
have to take care of your body any longer because taking
care of it is such a burden. From the time you get up
in the morning until the time you go to sleep at night,
you have to breathe, look for water to drink, prepare food
to eat, clean your body, and go to the toilet when needed.
Everyones body requires such activities. Without body,
such activities are not required. Using wisdom, you will
conclude that death is a good thing. Death relieves all
responsibilities and burden. If you still have your body,
even though there is no physical desire or suffering,
you will still have the responsibility of taking care of your
body. The Lord Buddha himself had to go around taking
alms, eating, taking a bath, and taking medicine when
sick. Therefore, you should contemplate deterioration
of everything so that you will not hold on to them;
you will not cling to your worldly possessions to provide
you with happiness. This is because you have more
genuine happiness. If you have peace of mind, you do not
need anything else. If you can let go, your mind will
experience happiness, calm, and comfort. You will
not be mistaken by clinging to or coveting this and
that in your quest for happiness.

Dhamma on the Mountain

Westerners say that the truth is painful. So too is

medicine like tincture of iodine that stings but heals
the wound fast. Buddhism teaches only the truth. If
a teacher of Buddhism has not yet realized the truth,
he will modify the truth. Luangta said: I dont modify
the truth. The truth of Dhamma is above modification.
I dont modify the truth to please my students. I give
the truth of Dhamma precedence over everything
else. If I dont give the truth of Dhamma to those
who seek it, how then will they acquire the truth of
Dhamma? Students of Buddhism want to learn the truth
of Dhamma. They dont want to be pleased. To learn the
truth of Dhamma, you have to be bravebrave in facing
the truthand not be afraid of the truth. If you are afraid
of the truth, dont study Buddhism because you are
just like a person who is afraid of the light, who enjoys
staying in the dark and remaining immersed in his or her
own imagination.

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If we do not push ourselves, there is no one who

will push us. Teachers have taught us, but they are
not able to drag or push us. We have to push ourselves.
We have to be reminded of thinking about death
on a regular basis. It will stimulate us to persevere.
We do not know when we will die. Therefore, we should
not be negligent and complacent. We should think about
the Lord Buddha and his disciples all the time. Look at
their examples. They were once like us, even though they
were born in the midst of fame and wealth, surrounded
by pleasures deriving from the eyes, the ears, the nose,
the tongue, and the body. How could they have attained
Nibbna? They persevered and had wisdom (Pa).
We, perhaps, do not have wisdom; that is why we do not
see the danger of fame and fortune, and of pleasures
derived from the eyes, the ears, the nose, the tongue, and
the body. We are like a fish caught with a lure in its mouth
and afraid to remove the lure from the mouth because
we do not want to endure pain. When we remove ourselves
from fame, fortune, and happiness, we are afraid of
suffering. We are afraid of loneliness and sadness if
we go to stay at the temple. So we continue to remain
prisoners trapped in the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth.

Dhamma on the Mountain

The goal of Dhamma practice is to let go. To set

your mind free from stress. Your mind creates stress by
interfering with other people and things. You want to
change them. But you dont know that you cant really
control or change them. Because they are Anatt:
According to the Lord Buddha, Sabbe Dhamm Anatt.
All phenomena including humans are natural processes,
they are without a self. You cant order them to be like
this or like that. If you want unceasing happiness in your
heart, you will have to let go of all things in this world.
If you dont, they will make you suffer.
What makes you suffer? Everything in this world,
including your physical body, does. Your body is a heap
of suffering, so are your spouses, your childrens and
your grandchildrens, as well as your possessions, and
all the visual objects, sounds, smells, tastes, and tactile
sensations. You are living unknowingly with these hoards
of suffering. Without the teaching of the Lord Buddha,
you would never know this truth. You would forever be
stuck with these masses of suffering. After death, you
will be reborn and repeat this cycle of suffering again.
But if you study Buddhism and take up the Dhamma
practice, you will have peace and happiness. You will
see that your suffering is the result of your clinging to
things. You will then use Sati (mindfulness), Samdhi
(meditation), and Pa (wisdom) to let go of your
clinging. You will let go of what you like and what you
dislike. When you have let go of everything, you will then
have accomplished your mission. Vusita Brahma
Cariya.

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Addendum

Addendum
Daily Life Schedule of Phra Ajahn Suchart Abhijto
5:54 a.m. 6:40 a.m. (approximate time) Walking
with other monks from Wat Yan for alms around Baan
Amphur

8:00 a.m. 10:00 a.m. At the Sl (dining hall)

at Wat Yan. - Morning meal and conversation with visitors
afterwards. On every Buddhist Holy Day, Saturday, and
Sunday, Phra Ajahn Suchart gives a 30-minute Dhamma
talk (around 8:00 a.m.) at the Sl (dining hall).

2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. At Chuladham Sl on

Chi-On Mountain Giving a Dhamma talk on every
Holy Day, Saturday, Sunday, and Buddhist Holiday while
other weekdays will be Dhamma conversation with visitors.
**Please do not visit Phra Ajahn outside of the
scheduled time.**
**When ladies plan to visit Phra Ajahn or to
attend a Dhamma Talk, please refrain from wearing
short pants or short skirt around the temple or the
meditation retreat.**
**Phra Ajahn Suchart does not accept any
out- of-temple events or functions.**

Phra Ajahn Suchart Abhijto Websites

www.kammatthana.com
www.PhraSuchart.com
www.facebook.com/PhraAjarnSuchart

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Glossary

Glossary
Abhidhamma:

(1) In the discourses of the Pli Canon, this term

simply means higher Dhamma, and a systematic
attempt to define the Buddhas teachings and
understand their interrelationships. (2) A later
collection of analytical treatises based on lists of
categories drawn from the teachings in the discourses,
added to the Canon several centuries after the Buddhas
life.

cariya:

Teacher, mentor; also used as a term of respect when

referring to a senior monk. When capitalized, cariya
is the respectful title given to a teacher by his
disciples, as in cariya Mun and cariya Sao.

Ajaan, ajahn, achaan, etc.:

(Thai). Teacher; mentor. Equivalent to the Pli

cariya.

Anatt:

Not-self; ownerless.

Anicca:

Impermanence; constant change.

Arahant:

One who is worthy, one who attains the ultimate

state of Nibbna.

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Avijj:

Fundamental ignorance; ignorance of ones own

true nature.

Baan:

(Thai). Village.

Bala:

Power; strength; health; energy.

Bhvan:

Mental cultivation or development; meditation.

Bhikkhu:

A Buddhist monk; a man who has given up the

householders life to live a life of heightened virtue
in accordance with the Vinaya in general, and the
Pimokkha rules in particular.

Bojjhaga:

The seven factors of enlightenment, consists of

mindfulness, investigation of the law, energy,
rapture, tranquility, concentration, and equanimity.
Because they lead to enlightenment, they are called
factors of enlightenment.

Buddha:

The name given to one who rediscovers for himself

the liberating path of Dhamma, after a long period
of its having been forgotten by the world. According
to tradition, a long line of Buddhas stretches off into
the distant past. The most recent Buddha was born
Siddhattha Gotama in India in the sixth century BCE.
A well-educated and wealthy young man, he

Glossary

relinquished his family and his princely inheritance

in the prime of his life to search for true freedom
and an end to suffering (Dukkha). After seven years
of austerities in the forest, he rediscovered the
middle way and achieved his goal, becoming
Buddha.

Buddhnussati:

Recollection of the Buddha.

Buddho:

Supremely enlightened. A traditional epithet for the

Buddha, Buddho is a preparatory meditation-word
(Parikamma) that is repeated mentally while
reflecting on the Buddhas special qualities. In its
simplest form, one focuses attention exclusively on
the repetition of Buddho, continuously thinking
the word Buddho while in meditation. One should
simply be aware of each repetition of Buddho,
Buddho, Buddho to the exclusion of all else. Once
it becomes continuous, this simple repetition will
produce results of peace and calm in the heart.

Chanda:

(1). Will, aspiration; the will to do; resolve; zeal;

desire; impulse; wish; loving interest; desire for
truth and understanding. (2). Consent; declaration
of consent to an official act by an absentee; proxy
vote.

Chedi, Phra Chedi:

(Thai). Equivalent to Pli term Cetiya which refers

to: (1) person, place or object worthy of worship;

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reminder. (2). A sepulchral monument; pagoda;

shrine; dagoba; bell-shaped stupa (with a slender
spire); tapering-spired stupa.

Citta:

The underlying essence of mind where Dhamma

and the Kilesas dwell. In its pure state it is indefinable.
It is beyond birth and death. It controls the Khandhas,
but does not die when they do.

Dna:

Generosity; giving, liberality; offering, alms.

Specifically, giving of any of the four requisites to
the monastic order. More generally, the inclination
to give, without any expectation of the reward.

Desan:

Preaching; discourse; sermon; instruction; Dhamma

talk.

Dhamma (Skt. Dharma):

Truth; the ultimate order underlying everything;

the teaching of the Buddha.

Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta (Skt. Dharmacakra

Pravartana Stra):

The Setting in Motion of the Wheel of Dhamma is a

Buddhist text that is considered to be a record of
the first teaching given by the Buddha after he
attained enlightenment. According to tradition,
the Buddha gave this teaching in Sarnath, India, to
the five ascetics (his former companions with
whom he had spent six years practicing austerities).
The main topic of this Sutta is the Four Noble Truths,

Glossary

which are the central teachings of Buddhism that

provide a unifying theme, or conceptual framework,
for all of Buddhist thought. This Sutta also introduces the Buddhist concepts of the middle way,
impermanence, and dependent origination.

Dhammayuttika-nikya:

The Dhammayuttika Sect.; an order of Theravda

Buddhist monks.

Dhutaga:

Ascetic practices. The Dhutagas are a set of 13

specialized ascetic practices that Buddhist monks
voluntarily undertake. Their purpose in each case
is to counteract specific mental defilements (Kilesas).
They are: 1) Wearing only robes made from
discarded cloth; 2) Wearing only the three principle
robes and no others; 3) Going on alms round
everyday without fail; 4) Not omitting any house
on alms round; 5) Eating only one meal per day;
6) Eating all food directly from the alms bowl;
7) Refusing to accept food offered after the alms
round; 8) Living in the forest; 9) Dwelling at the
foot of a tree; 10) Living in the open not at the foot
of a tree or under a roof; 11) Living in a cemetery;
12) Being satisfied with whichever bed or resting
place is available; 13) The sitters practice; that is
to say, sitting, standing or walking, but never lying
down.

Dukkha:

Suffering, pain, discontent; the unsatisfactory

nature of all phenomena. Dukkha is the condition

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of fundamental discontent that is inherent within

the very nature of all sentient existence. Essentially,
it is the underlying sense of dissatisfaction that
ultimately undermines even the most pleasant
experiences, for everything in the phenomenal
world is subject to change and therefore unreliable.
Thus, all of Samsric existence is characterized by
Dukkha.

Dukkha-vedan:

Painful feeling; unpleasant feeling.

Isaan:

(Thai) The northeastern region of Thailand.

Kamma (Skt. Karma):

Intentional acts that result in states of being and

birth.

Kammahna:

Literally, basis of work, Kammahna refers to

the occupation of a practicing Buddhist monk:
namely, the contemplation of certain meditation
themes that are conducive to uprooting the defiling
forces of greed, hatred, and delusion from his mind.
In the ordination procedure, a new monk is taught
the five basic Kammahna that lay the groundwork
for contemplation of the body: hair of the head,
hair of the body, nails, teeth, and skin. By extension,
Kammahna includes all 40 of the classical
Buddhist meditation subjects. The term
Kammahna is most often used to identify
the particular Thai forest tradition and lineage
that was founded by cariya Sao and cariya Mun.

Glossary

Kahina:

A ceremony, held in the fourth month of the rainy

season, in which a Sagha of Bhikkhus receives a
gift of cloth from lay people, bestows it on one of
their members, and then makes it into a robe before
dawn of the following day.

Kya:

Body. Usually refers to the physical body, but

sometimes refers to the mental body.

Kyagat-sati:

Mindfulness immersed in the body. This is a blanket

term covering several meditation themes: keeping
the breath in mind; being mindful of the bodys
posture; being mindful of ones activities; analyzing
the body into its parts; analyzing the body into
its physical properties; contemplating the fact
that the body is inevitably subject to death and
disintegration.

Khandha:

Literally, group or aggregate. In the plural,

Khandhas refer to the five physical and mental
components of personality (body, feelings, memory,
thoughts, consciousness) and to the sensory
experience in general (sights, sounds, smells, tastes,
tactile sensations). Also known as aggregates
of attachment because they are the objects of a
craving for personal existence, they are, in fact,
simply classes of natural phenomena that
continuously arise and cease and are devoid of
any enduring self-identity whatsoever.

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Kilesa:

Mental defilement. Kilesa are negative psychological

and emotional forces existing within the hearts and
minds of all living beings. These defilements are of
three basic types: greed, hatred, and delusion.
All of them are ingenerate pollutants that contaminate
the way people think, speak and act, and thus
corrupt from within the very intention and purpose
of their existence, binding them (through the
inevitable consequences of their actions) ever
more firmly to the perpetual cycle of rebirth. Their
manifestations are many and varied. They include
passion, jealousy, envy, conceit, vanity, pride,
stinginess, arrogance, anger, resentment, etc., plus
all sorts of more subtle variations that invariably
produce the unwholesome and harmful states of
mind which are responsible for so much human
misery. These various Kilesa-driven mental states
interact and combine to create patterns of conduct
that perpetuate peoples suffering and give rise to
all of the worlds disharmony.

Kusala:

Wholesome, skillful, good, meritorious. An action

characterized by this moral quality (Kusala-kamma)
is bound to result (eventually) in happiness and
a favorable outcome. Actions characterized by its
opposite (Akusala-kamma) lead to sorrow.

Ku:

An abode of a Buddhist monk or novice; hut or home

for a monk.

Glossary

Luangpor:

(Thai ). Venerable Father, a reverential term for

an elderly monk.

Luangpu:

(Thai). Venerable (paternal) Grandfather,

a reverential term for an elderly monk.

Luangta:

(Thai). Venerable (maternal) Grandfather,

a reverential term for an elderly monk.

Magga:

Path; usually refers to the eight-fold path leading

to Nibbna.

Mah:

A monk who has passed the Pli grade 3 (Parien 3)

examination. This is not a rank, but a degree.

Majjhim:

Middle; appropriate; just right.

Mett:

Loving-kindness; friendliness; pure love.

Mondop:

(Thai). Equivalent to Pli term Maapa which

refers to a pavilion; temporary shed; square spired
pavilion.

Nibbna (Skt. Nirva):

Literally meaning extinguished, Nibbna is

compared to a lamp or a fire going out. That is to

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say, the threefold fire of greed, hatred and delusion

goes out in the heart due to lack of fuel. The
extinguishing of this fire frees the mind from
everything that binds it to the cycle of rebirth
and the suffering experienced therein. Nibbna is
Absolute Freedom, the Supreme Happiness. As such,
it is the ultimate goal of the Buddhist training. It is
said to be Unborn, Deathless, and Unconditioned,
but being totally detached from all traces of
conventional reality, a description of what Nibbna
is, or is not, lies wholly beyond the range of
conventional figures of speech.

Opanayiko:

Pli:

Referring inwardly; to be brought inward. An epithet

for the Dhamma.

An ancient variant of Sanskrit, Pli is the literary

language of the early Buddhists and the language
in which the texts of the original Buddhist Canon
are preserved.

Pasukla:

To perform a requiem for the soul of the dead.

Pa:

Wisdom; intuitive insight.

Pram:

Perfection of the character. A group of ten qualities

developed over many lifetime by a Bodhisatta,
which appear as a group in the Pli Canon only in
the Jtaka (Birth Stone): generosity (Dna), virtue

Glossary

(Sla), renunciation (Nekkhamma), discernment

(Pa), energy/persistence (Viriya), patience/
forbearance (Khanti), truthfulness (Sacca),
determination (Adhihna), good will (Mett), and
equanimity (Upekkh).

Pariyatti:

Theoretical understanding of Dhamma obtained

through reading, study, and learning.

Pimokkha:

The Buddhist monks basic code of discipline.

It comprises 227 rules of conduct and is usually
recited rule by rule before an assembly of monks
once every fortnight. The Budhist monks basic code
of monastic discipline, consisting of 227 rules for
monks (Bhikkhus) and 310 for nuns (Bhikkhunis).

Phra:

(Thai). Venerable. Used as a prefix to the name of

a monk (Bhikkhu).

Piapta:

Rai:

Walking on the alms round to receive food.

(Thai). A unit of area, equal to 1,600 square meters

(40 m 40 m), used for measuring land area.
Its current size is precisely derived from the meter,
but is neither part of nor recognized by the modern
metric system, the International System. It is
commonly used in Thailand and equals 16 acres.

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Sl:

Meeting hall in a monastery, a hall where the monks

can meet and eat. The hall is also used for acts
within the Sagha, and for Dhamma talks.

Samdhi:

Meditative calm; absorbed concentration, having

many levels and types.

Sagha:

The community of the Buddhas disciples. On the

conventional level, this means the Buddhist
monastic order. On the ideal level, it refers to those
of the Buddhas followers, whether lay or ordained,
who have attained at least the first of the four
Transcendent Paths culminating in Arahantship.

Sakhra:

Sati:

As a general term, Sankhra refers to all forces

that form or condition things in the phenomenal
world of mind and matter, and to those formed or
conditioned phenomena that result. As the fourth
component of personality (Sankhra khandha),
it refers to thought and imagination; that is, the
thoughts that constantly form in the mind and
conceptualize about ones personal perceptions.
Sankhra creates these ideas and then hands them
on to Sa, which interprets and elaborates on
them, making assumptions about their significance.
Mindfulness, self-collectedness, powers of reference
and retention. In some contexts, the word Sati when
used alone covers alertness (Sampajaa ) as well.

Glossary

Satipahna:

Sla:

Foundation of mindfulness; frame of reference

body, feelings, mind, and mental events, viewed in
and of themselves as they occur.
Morality; moral behavior; the five moral precepts.

Sukha-vedan:

Pleasant sensations; pleasant feelings.

Sutta:

A discourse or sermon spoken by the Buddha. After

the Buddhas death, the Suttas he delivered to his
disciples were passed down in the Pli language
according to a well-established oral tradition. They
were finally committed to written form in Sri Lanka
around 100 BCE and form the basis for the Buddhas
teachings that we have today.

Tah:

Craving craving for sensuality, for becoming, and

for not becoming; the chief cause of Dukkha.

Theravda:

Doctrine of the Elders. Handed down to us in the

Pli language, it is the oldest form of the Buddhas
teachings. Theravda is the only one of the
early schools of Buddhism to have survived into
the present. It is currently the dominant form of
Buddhism in Thailand, Sri Lanka, and Burma.

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Ti-lakkhaa:

Three characteristics inherent in all conditioned

phenomena being inconstant (Anicca), stressful
(Dukkha), and not-self (Anatt).

Tipiaka (Skt. Tripitaka):

The Buddhist (Pli) Canon. Literally, three baskets

in reference to the three principal divisions of the
Canon: the Vinaya Piaka (disciplinary rules), Sutta
Piaka (discourses), and Abhidhamma Piaka
(abstract philosophical treatises).

Upekkh:

Equanimity. One of the ten perfections (Params)

and one of the four sublime abodes (Brahmavihra).

Upekkh-vedan:

Indifferent feelings (neither pleasure nor pain);

neutral feelings.

Ubosot:

(Thai) or short bot is a building in a Buddhist Wat.

It is the holiest prayer room, also called ordination
hall as it is where ordinations take place. Equivalent
to Pli term Uposathagara, which refers to a
hall used for rituals on the Uposatha days the
Buddhist Sabbath, which falls four times a month
on the full moon, new moon, and eighth day after
each.

Vassa:

The annual three-month rains retreat, when a

bhikkhu is required to remain in a single residence.

Glossary

Vedan:

Feeling - pleasure (ease), pain (stress), or neither

pleasure nor pain.

Vinaya:

The code of conduct and discipline of a Bhikkhu.

Vipassan:

Clear intuitive insight. Aided by a clear, quiet state

of meditative calm, Vipassan is spontaneous
insight into physical and mental phenomena, as they
arise and cease, that sees them for what they really
are: inherently impermanent and unstable, bound
up with pain and suffering, and devoid of anything
that can be identified as self.

Viriya:

Wat:

Persistence; energy. One of the five spiritual faculties

and powers (see Bala), one of the seven factors of
enlightenment (see Bojjhaga), and identical with
right effort of the Eightfold Path (see Magga).
(Thai). Monastery; temple-monastery; temple.

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SOURCES:
cariya Mun Bhridatta Thera: a Spiritual Biography,
by: cariya Mah Boowa asampanno; translated by
Bhikkhu Dick Slaratano. Udon Thani: Forest Dhamma
of Wat Pa Baan Taad, 2003, Glossary, p. 487-496.

Buddhist Dictionary: Manual of Buddhist Terms

and Doctrines, by Mah Thera Nyanatiloka, 24 October
2012, http://what-buddha-said.net/library/Buddhist.
Dictionary/index_dict.n2.htm

Dictionary of Buddhism, Part II Thai - English

Buddhist Dictionary, by Bhikkhu P. A. Payutto. Sixth
edition,2003. http://www.thawsischool.com/old/
dhamma_English/ index.html