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This list is compiled from several other lists found on teh intarwebz, with a few of our

own sprinkled in for good measure. Please reproduce & redistribute WIDELY.

Eggs are a symbol of fertility. Wear a condom.


Satan wishes you a Happy Easter!
That lump is cancer.
This is an unfertilized egg.
This egg is CHOLESTEROL FREE!
The Easter Bunny does not exist.
Beef is a vegetable.
The purpose of power is power.
Hale-Bopp says kill yourself.
Aliens are watching you.
Jesus died for your sins, so make them count!
I am a cloned egg.
Your fly is open.
What rhymes with orange?
You’re not paranoid, everyone really does hate you.
Lick this paper, you may be one of the lucky 23.
Balding? TOO FUCKING BAD.
Beer makes you smarter and stuff.
Lie to your friends, it saves time.
This egg OUT OF ORDER.
Stop touching yourself in public.
Beer, it’s not just for breakfast.
Toilet paper is a government conspiracy. Use your hand.
Kick an atheist.
Kick a Christian.
Abortion, the other white meat.
Polka!
Volkswagen: Hitler’s automobile of choice.
Tickle me this, you red bastard!
Communism works in the minds of the lazy.
Eat a queer fetus for Jesus.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two X chromosomes make evil.
I hope the next baby you save is gay.
At least the War Against Earth is going well.
Fuck the colorblind!
I wish I owned a midget.
This is National Blow Job Week.
I’m standing right behind you.
Live long and prosper.
Stop touching me!
Avoid excessive pronouns in your speech.
Fuck the FDA!
Potato
My favorite flavor is purple.
YOU WIN $1000! See manager for details.
We put the boom in Oklahoma!
Jesus loves you, and for $5 so will your mom.
Even Jesus thinks you’re an asshole.
Nothing is true. All is permissible.
Freemasons are destroying your life.
Donate your appendix.
Might makes right.
Fuck the rain forests.
You may already have won $20 million dollars! See Management for details.
Crack kills.
Junkies make good speed bumps.
Got AIDS yet?
Drink and drive for a less populous future.
Little kids hate you.
Dogs do it better; ask Hillary Clinton.
Darwin was wrong. (So was God.)
We are watching you.
Hello, how can I be of assistance?
Yellow is a lie, ignore it.
Hip, hip, dirty hippie, hooray!!!
Chaos theory is jhsdfg oiwenbsaQ brtoiwys.
Thinking hurts the government.
GI Joe is a pedophile homosexual.
Where the hell are my pants?
To err is human. To ignore that is American.
Don’t think we’re not watching you.
Jump up and down until your head falls off.
What is missing from this statement?
Sanity is just the majority of lunatics setting the standard.
Normal is a setting, not a state of mind.
Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you don’t.
Join your local Grammar Nazi Coalition today!
When in Rome, don’t drink the water.
Oral sex rots your teeth.
We’re all blind men searching in a cave for a candle lit 2,000 years ago.
I killed the Cosby kid.
Which came first, the sarcasm or this egg?
Laugh and the whole world humors you; cry and they all get a laugh.
Feed me cookie!
Utopia is an ideal way of confusing people.
Be a hypocrite, buy American.
Smile! You’re on camera!
You chose the 10 of Clubs.
Why exactly do you think you can just take this Easter Egg?
Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!
fnord
This egg is cursed and will bring you bad luck until you give it away.
This egg will bring you good luck if you give it to the first person you see.
Jesus was a Sagittarius.
Captain Capitalism vs. Comrade Communism, tonight on Pay Per View!
Your television is lying to you.
Your government is lying to you.
Your family is lying to you.
Your friends are lying to you.
Beware the Ides of March.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department
Suspend due process, restrict privacy, detail without cause, legalize profiling, allow
secret evidence, reconsider torture… FEELING MORE SECURE?
No human should be constrained by manufactured labels divided into pre-packaged
units reduced to simplistic profiles under the guise of patriotism.
Throw away your television.
Your DTV box is spying on you.
Your television is spying on you.
Your government is spying on you.
If I killed you, would it be considered murder or community service?
Talking with you is like being fisted with a cactus.
Sometimes when I’m alone, I google myself.
We’re not just fucked, we’re raped up the ass with a serrated steak knife.
I’d be a hell of a lot nicer if you’d worship me.
Don’t talk to me about depression. I can always make your day worse.
FUCK YOU! (This message brought to you by the First Amendment.)
Friends are like potatoes; if you eat them, they die.
Cows aren’t grown like potatoes.
Q: What’s the difference between jam & jelly?
A: You can’t jelly your cock into your girlfriend’s mouth.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an idiot.
If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Love: Two vowels, two consonants, two fools.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist.
Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
Pride is what we have. Pity is what others have.
Forget about world peace . . . visualize using your turn signal.
Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of “smart.”
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Diplomacy is the art of saying “nice doggy” . . . until you can find a rock.
I like you but I wouldn’t want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.
“Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog.” – Dorothy
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Clue #3: A tisket, a tasket, a head in a basket.
Clue #5: Double, double, toil & trouble. Fire burn & cauldron bubble. (Hint: see
Pluto’s Allegory of the Cave.)
Chaos theory is owthw Pdjqhwuht ppwehghn.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to
where you can’t find them.
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how
difficult it was.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren’t sucked into jet engines.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
Change is inevitable….except from vending machines.
Don’t sweat petty things….or pet sweaty things.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
To be considered sane by a sick society is nothing to be proud of.
Black sheep are still sheep.
Inspected & Approved by #523
Leave me the hell alone!
Black sheep are still sheep.
Don’t think
Beware of falling hammers
Existence is futile
Secure your future: Declare yourself Jesus while masturbating in public.
In the US, TV watches you. In Soviet Russia, you watch TV.
There is nothing to worry about, ever, really!
Bliss is a Dirt Sandwhich!
You have 30 seconds to forget this message
We have this area under surveillance
Don’t forget to die
Recycle your pets
RUN WHILE YOU STILL HAVE LEGS!
WE WILL MARCH ON A ROAD OF BONES.
The revolution has abandoned you– You’re on your own now
Caution!–Suspicious contents
Congratulations!–You’ve found clue no.3 The man in the green jacket will tell you
what to do next.
You SHOULD have picked door number 2!
Forget about your rights and they’ll go away.
Abandon all art NOW
Kill Your Idols.
after birth is before death
(BLANK) RUINED!
the unknown has done nothing to warrant it being something worth fearing
No one gets out alive.
Freedom can be taken away but its more likely given away
FREEDOM ISN’T FREE.
I SUPPORT MORE TROOPS THAN YOU.
I SUPPORT THE WAR, JUST NOT THE TROOPS
We Must Break Our Addiction to Extra Virgin Olive Oil!
Change your mind.
The Bucket is Going to Kick You!
Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
Actor is not a lawyer.
Watch your back or I’ll do it.
THIS IS YOUR TRUE DESIRE.
The mainstream is a sewer. Learn to swim.
Think inside the box
There is no Santa Claus. It’s your parents. PS. Same goes for Jesus.
Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow
I’m not suffering from insanity, I’m enjoying a delicious creampie.
I am no longer infected
those who do the impossible never believe the impossible
Sometimes your best just isn’t good enough.
“Normal” is what gouges out your third eye and you fail.
“Normal” is an extremely rare occurence.
There is no such thing as “normal”…please try again.
“Average” isn’t.
“Life comes at you fast, if you’re lucky.”
those who don’t queston their own beliefs probably shouldn’t have any
a belief is just a thought you keep having
“Every statement contains falsehood”
A conclusion is simply where you stopped thinking
Reality is not a persistent hallucination.
“Reality does not give a shit about your opinions.”
“You are not a unique and wonderful being.”
“With age, ignorant altruism looks more and more like calculated wickedness.”
Live fast, live slow, die anyway.
Do not live, do not die.
HIMEOBS – The Bakery is Open
Concrete thinking is still a metaphor
The womb is a prison – Fetus liberation front
All the horrible shit you’re paranoid of is coming true.
Wroth like a zealot, believing in nothing and suspecting all. Annhilative, to the point
of hyperbole. Passionate as napalm, yet contained and masterful like unto calligraphic
strokes. We are now approaching the Aftermath, and it will shake the mountains
asunder. There will be terrifying and uncontrollable events that will pave all for the
Next Cycle in Her terrible works in this world. It will amaze us all.
YOUR MIND IS UNDER CONTROL
Do what you want to say
If ignorance is bliss, wipe that smile off your face.
If you fuck the system without protection something nasty is bound to happen.
when you act like someone is your enemy, they’ll soon start playing to the role as
they feel threatened.
It’s all or nothing. Accept no substitute!
Consume, conform, OBEY!
power for those who can fuck it freedom for those who can fight it sex for those who
can buy it television today never lies
Property is theft. Property is liberty Property is impossible.
ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE!
We care about your saftey as much as you care about our profit margin. -The Mgt
Reason is the Illusion of Reality.
Reality is the Illusion of Reason.
Those you think are your friends are really your enemies… and those you think are
your enemies are still your enemies…
Contrary to what you may have made yourself to believe, no one really gives a shit
about what you think.
Give me liberty or I’ll fucking kill you!
If this was a movie, would you be a character in it? Or just an extra?
There are no extras in THIS movie.
Visualize Whirled Peas
Read less, live more.
Boredom is counterrevolutionary.
No replastering, the structure is rotten.
We want nothing of a world in which the certainty of not dying from hunger comes in
exchange for the risk of dying from boredom.
Plebiscite: Whether we say yes or no, it makes chumps of us.
Don’t negotiate with the bosses. Abolish them.
The boss needs you, you don’t need him.
Please leave the Communist Party as clean on leaving as you would like to find it on
entering.
Be realistic, ask for the impossible.
They buy your happiness. Steal it.
Beneath the paving stones – the beach!
Let’s be cruel!
Live without dead time [time of boredom, time at work] – enjoy without chains.
It is forbidden to forbid.
Meanwhile everyone wants to breathe and nobody can breathe and many say, “We
will breathe later”. And most of them don’t die because they are already dead.
In a society that has abolished all adventures, the only adventure left is to abolish
society.
The liberation of humanity will be total or it will not be.
The revolution is unbelievable because it’s real.
I came. I saw. I believed.
Run, comrade, the old world is behind you!
It’s painful to suffer the bosses; it’s even stupider to pick them.
A single nonrevolutionary weekend is infinitely more bloody than a month of
permanent revolution.
Happiness is a new idea.
Culture is the inversion of life.
Poetry is in the street.
Art is dead, don’t consume its corpse.
Arise, you wretched of the University.
Even if God existed, it would be necessary to abolish him.
Workers of the world, have fun!
Power to the Imagination.
Be young – shut up!
I take part you take part he takes part we take part you all take part they profit.
It’s not a benefit unless you use it.
Are you trying to tell me that there was a time before celebrities?
Famous people are delicious.
The fate of the nation is in my hands and I’ve got a booger.
Nothing bad ever happens if you don’t do anything.
It’s only due to modern technology that you can be as pleasingly plump as you are.
Let’s go stomp those weirdies for Jesus!
hey sheeple! whos your shepard!
get off your knees!!!!!
If life gives you lemons, build a rocket-powered lemon gun.
It’s yuor pet hate. Keep it out of my face. I’m allergic to dumb animals.
Freedom is a VERB.
Darwin Hates You.
Move within the crowd not with the crowd
don’t go with the flow go within the flow
I don’t know if it’s lonely at the top but it’s pretty crowded at the bottom
You can’t buy fun like this
get an afterlife
Keep your hands to yourself or you won’t be allowed to have them.
Fear of consequence doesn’t equal a lack of choice
you are free to do whatever you like provided you live with the consequences
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Just remember, no one likes an
asshole.
There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you damn well please. And
with it comes the only basic human duty: the duty to take the consequences.
END THOUGHT CRIME; STOP THINKING
The truth is the biggest lie anyone ever told
This message is false
Beware of false profits
I saw what you did just now
There are no security cameras on the premises.
Support free enterprise: shoplift.
God isn’t a cupcake: but what if He was?
Fill in the blank: I’m always ______ myself.
fate is how your life looks backwards
Don’t Think!! BELIEVE!!
I think the terrorists just won.
Dead girls don’t say yes, either.
Bad metaphors are like hit Broadway shows about toe fungus — they don’t exist.
Imagine a world without Religion. Now live in it.
Freedom of speech ain’t free.
All religions are true, and everyone is going to hell.
God doesn’t give a fuck. Get over it.
A naked mind is sexy.
false. All religions are true, and everyone is going to hell.
Are you still awake?
WILL TONY SOPRANO DIE BALD?
Can you hear me now?
being broke is childish
There is not a struggle between authority and democracy, but between industrial
society and humanity.
Politicians do not rule our lives: a million paper pushers do.
Politics is a strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
History is the study of the world’s crime.
Eschew Obfuscation.
Complicated machinery has had to be matched by complicated social arrangements,
designed to work as smoothly and efficiently as the new instruments of production.
I have found a truth.
The future is history.
You cannot be, what you really could, be as long as you think, you are only what you
are.
Confusion is paradise
Those who think ignorance is bliss are ignorant and blissful
Laugh
I think the Government likes you, he’s looking at you.
They know about the milk in your fridge.
Look behind you, they’re looking behind you.
Great minds think alike, but they seldom march in single file.
Terrorism.
Anarchism is a game at which the police can beat you.
The state calls its own violence law, but that of the individual crime.
The hidden hand of the market will never work without a hidden fist.
“Violence never settles anything.” – Genghis Khan
People are Human.
Not all people are human.
this is a secret society, quick spread the word.
It’s not lies if we know the truth.
Reality is unbelievable.
Life is not a free show…the price is life.
if you think this line is clever, you should check what i wrote on the back of the toilet
pot
Peace is a graveyard.
There is no conspiracy.
Make up your words.
This message is thoughtcrime.
You don’t really fit in this hole.
Be a badass
Freedom- now comes in a new minty scent
Here, take this shovel. You know what to do.
Just do it.
pants are overrated
Rome wasn’t built from a couch.
Innocence Proves Nothing.
A Closed Mind Gathers No Heresies.
There is no such thing as innocence, only varying degrees of guilt.
Give me a thousand men crazy enough to conquer hell, and I will do it.
Thought for the day: Hate enriches
It is not the horror of war that troubles me, it is the unseen horrors of peace
My armor is contempt
A suspicious mind is a healthy mind
Only the insane prosper
Zeal is it’s own excuse
Only in your deepest self is the truth of what you can be, and, without a doubt, that
truth is terrible to bear
I shaved a message even more interesting than this one on the back of your head
This is not as apparent as it looks.
Consider just thinking about it.
Go places. Do things
Truth Hurts, Troof Tickles.
GOD IS DEAD AND NOONE CARES
YOU GOT TANGO ON MY WANGO!
ignorance is knowledge
Cherries come in pairs.
Warning: ambitious careerists may now be disguised as “progressives”.
People who work get bored when they don’t work. People who don’t work never get
bored.
We refuse to be highrised, diplomaed, licensed, inventoried, registered, indoctrinated,
suburbanized, sermonized, beaten, telemanipulated, gassed, booked.
I declare a permanent state of happiness.
Insolence is the new revolutionary weapon.
I suspect God of being a leftist intellectual.
To be free today means to participate.
No forbidding allowed.
In here we’re all anemic.
Good Morning! Nope, nothing’s changed.
What you change, changes you.
It’s bread and circuses, not bread, health, shelter, dignity and circuses
If you’re not living on the edge You take up too much room
DANGER, DANGER ABANDON THOUGHT IMMEDIATELY
In the long run we are all dead.
There is some fiction in your truth, and some truth in your fiction.
fuck your brand of individuality.
This bears repeating.
How am I not who I Am?
The End Is Queer!(tm)
Support Our Fruits.
Life is a joke – death is the punchline
angst is lame
annoy the boring
challenge your habits
change your mind
check your assumptions
CONFUSE EVERYONE
dare to be smart
delusions comfy enough?
don’t postpone joy
fun is my function
GET OVER IT
i just changed the world
keep your eyes open
let the good times roll
MAKE IT STOP
maybe partying will help
meet us in orbit
practice random acts
read banned books
SHHHHHH. listen.
take nothing for granted
unleash infinity
WE KNOW IT WAS YOU
what’s stopping you?
you LIVE in that head?
don’t eat your soul to fill your belly
education is everywhere
what a drag it is getting sold
what is stopping you from doing something so cool that it renders you IMMORTAL?
you are stupid and evil and do not know that you are stupid and evil
Your mother was lying
The world is the inbox and you are the spam
Why obey when they don’t trust you anyways?
IT’S ONLY A JOKE UNTIL “THEY” GET THE PUNCHLINE
When you go to hell, you DIE
If you disobey, they will take away your iPods.
If you disobey, we will increase funding for the Entertainments.
Everyone laughs at the drunk in the gutter but no one likes to admit that the drunk is
laughing back.
there are no answers. only questions. BE YOUR OWN FUCKING MESSIAH.
White Washing Reality Creates A Canvas Of Villany
No, you’re not a rebel.
These days, it takes a square to show you what’s cool.
Optimism is easy if you ignore everything and drink a lot.
If you can read this, you’re not drinking enough poison
I’LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, GADGET!
Laughter is never inappropriate.
Choking on the sweet air of freedom.
Learn to Dis-earn
Mentally Retarded Zen Masters
You an Ill-Lusor, eh?
Such Oddacity.
That wasn’t aimed at you.
The only thing worth doing with your time is wasting it
There is an exception to every rule. Chaos is everywhere!
“I managed to sneak up behind you while you were reading this.”
Please litter, landfills are bad for the environment.
Emotions are simply gears your brain/body can go into. You either drive a stick or an
automatic.
[copper] Conduct a Fucking Thought [/zinc]
Go back and pick that up, I saw that!
you’re only as genuine as they think you are
I see what you did there.
STRUCTURE IS THE LEADING CAUSE OF CHAOS
If you hadn’t seen this, it wouldn’t exist.
There Is No Friend Anywhere.
Slippery when slick
Please use your natural reaction.
the dishonest sage tells you he is lying
Around the World and back and I still haven’t seen the CocaCola logo
Will Someone please return the Priests Porn Collection
Never reconstruct the indestructible
Soil isn’t a document
Stop history
We’re behaving like insects
You are not your ego
Simulate yourself
Reduce Distill Purify Teach
Less is a possibilty
Control is not control
You might not count in the New World Order
The Sun is not your enemy
Ignorance is bliss the best you can hope for
How come you so Dumb?
Dead humans are easier to control then live ones
Dead humans are fucking delicious
KING KONG DIED FOR YOUR SINS
You’re standing in it now.
It’s ok that you don’t know.
ENJOY WITHOUT CAUTION.
If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
I want to exist, therefore I am thinking.
If you aren’t thinking, stop existing.
They Live. We sleep
Now that you’ve read this I’ll follow you home.
If I had an axe, I’d still be free.
Okay now recite the alphabet from 0
If you’re the answer, what was the question?
you gotta do something with all that eternity we got lying about
The spiritual fridge is full of leftovers.
Kill time before it kills you!
Eating the menu?
Kill your Idle
When push comes to shove, you will fall.
Beware your actions, your future is another’s past.
Squad 23 disguises the jet ski.
The incredible yike-ness of peeing.
If it ain’t broke, fix it ’til it is.
You Can Use Fire
Two 4 One
Im With (Biased Individual)
Think of a Parade
My other outlet for my chaotic impulses is YOUR MOM.
Subconscious included. Results may vary.
NO Purchase (is) Necessary
If you fry it, they will come.
THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED.
Can you prove you’re not the enemy?
I’m already against the next war.
I’m already fighting the next war.
I wasted this life on the Bodhisattva Promise, and all i got was YUO!
you taste of Mental MSG.
Embrace Free Will….It’s your DESTINY!
Some days it seems like the whole point of everything is just to laugh like a fucking
goon.
God exists only when we are unaware of him.
THE REVOLUTION IS HERE SOON THE FISH WILL RULE US ALL AND
THEY WILL MAKE THINGS RELATED TO SODOMY–REPENT!!
Caution: Reality ahead.
SPOILERS: You die at the end.
Just because you wake up, doesn’t mean you have to stop dreaming.
i support the right to say stupid shit.
don’t just defend your right to be wrong–exercise it!
Victimize Circumstance!
I bet you stepped in it.
Hey, you in the gray suit. Your wife is cheating on you.
Don’t read me, I’m embarrassed about being self-referential.
This is the distraction.
All is well, watch the days go by.
Quick, while no one is looking!
You too can be No. one!
You’re No. One
The world doesn’t stop just because you are having a shitty day.
Adapt or die!
You can’t be too serious.
Don’t just defend the right to be wrong–exercise it!
RUN WHILE YUO STILL HAVE LEGS!
Shit Floats.
Enlightenment is Bullshit
Without bullshit, the grass would never grow
Don’t run! We are your friends!
You are now breathing manually.
The purpose of accepting authority is to learn to outgrow it.
Enlightenment is like the Police State – if you’d shut up for once, you’d realize you’re
already there.
You can hit the Jackpot if you attempt suicide.
Once you leave this room, will anything change?
Ignoring politics won’t make it disappear.
You’re still playing by their rules!
You are the opposition!
They know you’re reading this.
You’re just saying that because you disagree with me.
It’s getting worse, isn’t it?
If you’ll read this, what else do you waste your time on?
It’s now and then
all you get from shitting on someone’s shit is more shit.
No one noticed. You got away with it.
You got away with it.
No one noticed.
Quick! What are your last words?!
Go on, I won’t tell.
Start up, log in, zone out.
Everything is Pornographic.
That was a bad idea.
Why will you forget this message ever existed?
Somebody you spoke to recently is stalking you.
Don’t stop believing, just don’t limit your options.
A tainted mind cannot tell the difference twixt being ballsy and being an asshole.
Everything you know… is just that.
Democracy by Autocracy! Give them liberty and give them death!
Without my ___________ I’d be just like everyone else.
Can my false memory be that convincing?
The laws weren’t made for people like you
if nothing changes, nothing changes.
The Average Person has less than three Original Thoughts per week. You’d better get
cracking.
If your thoughts aren’t original, they’re not really yours, are they?
The mainstream is Warm and Cozy running down my thigh.
YOU ARE NOW AWARE OF EVERY TIME YOU BLINK.
it’s not an afterlife; it’s an afterthought.
You are illegal. Please cease immediately.
In the event of an emergency, celebrate!
“Stamp Out ___ism.”
Try looking at these words WITHOUT reading them.
Buddah wasn’t perfect, he was fat
Did I say Harri Kirshna? I ment Dali Lama
Remove your company loyalty genes.
Cosmetics made me alien.
Evolve! The monkeys are catching up!
Know: Purchase necessary.
Swim Upstream to Reverse Current Thinking
Feed Your Change to The Machine.
It’s your fault we’re cheating.
Pose as a spy, work as a friend.
Behave as you like, but think like others.
Strike the sheep and the shepherds will scatter.
EXTREME BUDDHISM.
Tell ________ we’re looking for him.
Secrecy kills.
You’ll appreciate the environment much more when you’re not allowed out of your
house.
If you jump off a bridge, would you do it too?
Pretty soon you’ll get arrested for reading this.
If you won’t shut the hell up, go watch TV so it can shut you the hell up.
The cops haven’t caught me yet.
Run. You’re watching you.
If you thought this life was just a ha-ha, kill yourself and live it again.
if you aren’t a monkey wrench yet, you still have evolving to do
Break a pattern today.
Discordia is the auto-immune disease of The Machine (TM).
The Machine (TM) says: Go back to sleep!
Social norms are for the weak.
Freedom? Freedom is for proles.
“I’m done counting statistics.”
not valid without receipt
The longer you’re around the older you get.
Moderation is… luke-warm tea, the devils own brew!
The new money is info.
You are MORTAL. You will die. SOON. Start living how you want to be
remembered? Do it for us.
Freedom is a party
You Are The Enemy, And We Are You.
If any of you loved me, you’d kill yourselves in my honor.
Return to this spot at __ o’clock for further information.
Capitalism: If it feels like you’re stealing, then you’re doing it right.
If you were really thinking outside of the box, you’d be asking why it’s a box you
have to think outside of.
There is no excess of self-expression that will not serve you well.
How many people stood exactly where you are now?
You were reading this, but now you’re not.
Get paranoid to act fast.
Get paranoid to act first.
A little bit, and a little bit, and a little bit more.
We saw that, go back there and pick it up.
Moisten pellets with water to stimulate feeding behavior.
Write this somewhere else.
“Makes little sense when applied to its quotation” makes little sense when applied to
its quotation
Don’t Get Hurt.
I found Nirvana. It was in my album collection.
The Truth is not for sale – your tax money helps keep the Truth in good hands.
There’s $30 hidden around here.
You saw this message yesterday.
You’d do almost anything for $30.
I make a living off of saying badass shit
Give up while your still where you started.
Talk to the next person that reads this
Its the penultimate countdown.
Q: Can you think for yourself? A:
Are you interesting?
Always be extremely moderate.
The best practice of abstinence is abstinence of it.
There are five kinds of people:
I pooped in the urinal on my birthday.
Scene, and Herd.
I am delighted to have been of entertainment.
You catch more flies with honey, but why are you trying to catch flies?
9/11 people refuse to be reduced to statistics
Some farts go poof.
Some farts go poop.
Science is a cult
Starting a cult is both a science and a fart.
HIMEOBS: Yuo can’t paddle fast enough.
The Truth Is No.
When I grow up, I want to die and reincarnate as a bumblebee.
When I grow up, I want to be a dull working class citizen with a wife and kids and a
male archetypal hobby.
Never attribute to intelligence that which can be adequately explained by sheer dumb
luck.
Intelligence should never be multiplied into the realm of the truly arbitrary
Instant opinion: Malice generally is stupidity.
Don’t worry, no one else believes this bullshit either.
No one can tell you’re faking it, too.
The Sanity is IN.
Narrow Mindedness is an awful condition to contract.
Undermine society, everybody!
A small mind is a tidy mind.
It’s too late; you’re part of it now.
Post “Warmer” and “Colder” signs around and see if anyone follows them.
If a tree falls in the forest, and no-one is around to hear it… is God omnipresent?
if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, did i put my underwear on
backwards?
This isn’t a debate, it’s a historical re-enactment.
Absolutes are absolutely wrong
All urban myths suggest HIMEOBS
What makes you think you aren’t a target?
HIMEOBS: Dude, where’s my spysat?
Laws make criminals.
We may all be dust in the wind ; but im makein a fucking kite, how about you?
How many advertisements are you wearing?
Facts: Confusing humanity since.
The last person to read this was far more attractive then the next, don’t you agree?
Pwn free and clear.
The Management would like to thank you for not subverting the dominant paradigm.
Being the Inquisition is GOOD.
Stop deluding yourself, everyone finishes last..
They think you’re weird.
Make weirdness normal.
What if you’re the one?
Never mind that.
Avert thy gaze!
No Starring.
warning: you are now entering a bullshit free zone.
The truth is manifest in such a way that it can be found in the thickest of lies.
Any sufficiently advanced postmodernism is indistinguishable from necrophilia.
They know you’re not as weird as you pretend.
No more mindless graffiti No more mindless graffiti No more mindless graffiti No
more mindless graffiti No more mindless graffiti
For a good time call Eris
Quiet! The ears have walls!
Freedom allows you to choose which cage to live in.
Popes needed
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
Click here to win.
Watch for falling hopes.
Please ask one of our scared bureaucrats for assistance.
Trust the experts. You really don’t have a choice.
People with gas masks shouldn’t be trusted.
Follow the leader.
WARNING: When you finish reading this, you will be shot.
Why do you avoid eye contact with strangers?
This is a distraction.
America no longer has a breadbasket; now it has a cornhole.
Convictions create convicts.
Batteries are a government conspiracy.
Darwin loves you!
Blasphemy is a victimless crime.
Abstinence Makes the Church Grow Fondlers
Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole
Don’t pray in my school, and I won’t think in your church.
Intelligent Design Makes My Monkey Cry
Thank God I’m an Atheist.
Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.
There’s A REASON Why Atheists Don’t Fly Planes Into Buildings
If you think god is your co-pilot, try letting him land the plane.
“Worship Me or I Will Torture You Forever. Have a Nice Day.” God.
If Jesus is inside me, I hope he likes fajitas ’cause that’s what he’s getting!
Gods Don’t Kill People. People Who Believe in God Kill People.
If There is No God, Then What Makes the Next Kleenex Pop Up?
He’s Dead. It’s Been 2,000 years. He’s Not Coming Back. Get OVER It Already!
All religion is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry –
Edgar Allan Poe.
Viva La Evolución!
Praying is begging
Actually, If You Look It Up, The Winter Solstice Is The Reason For The Season
I Wouldn’t Trust Your God Even If He Did Exist
Cheeses Is Lard. Argue With THAT If You Can.
Cheeses Dried Foyer Shins. Praise the Lard.
The difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate controlled.
People Who Don’t Want Their Beliefs Laughed at Shouldn’t Have Such Funny
Beliefs
Jesus is Coming? Don’t Swallow That.
Threatening Children With Hell Is FUN!
GOD – APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD!
Jesus Told Me Republicans SUCK
God + Whacky Tobacky = Platypus
God Doesn’t Exist. So, I Guess That Means No One Loves You.
When the Rapture Comes, We’ll Get Our Country Back!
Q. How Do We Know the Holy Ghost Was Catholic? A. He Used the Rhythm
Method Instead of a Condom.
You Say “Heretic” Like It Was a BAD Thing
And God said unto His followers, ‘Get on your knees and prey.’
Creationism: Holy Shit!
I Love Christians. They Taste Like Chicken.
How many prophets does does it take to make a profit?
Science: It Works, Bitches.
“Intelligent Design” Helping Stupid People Feel Smart Since 1987
I Found God Between The Sheets
I Gave Up Superstitious Mumbo Jumbo For Lent
My Flying Monkey Can Beat Up Your Guardian Angel
Every Time You Play With Yourself, God Kills a Kitten
If God Wanted People to Believe in Him, Then Why Did He Invent Logic?
Praying Is Politically Correct Schizophrenia
ALL Americans Are African Americans
I Forget – Which Day Did God Make All The Fossils?
I Was An Atheist Until The Hindus Convinced Me That I Was God
The Spanish Inquisition: The Original Faith-based Initiative
If we were made in his image, then why aren’t humans invisible too?
JESUS SAVES….You From Thinking For Yourself
How Can You Disbelieve Evolution If You Can’t Even Define It?
Q. How Can You Tell That Your God is Man-made? A. If He Hates All the Same
People You Do.
Every Time You See a Rainbow, God is Having Gay Sex
I Went to Public School in Kansas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt and a Poor
Understanding of the Scientific Method.
WWJD = We Won. Jesus Died.
WWJD = Who Would Jesus Date?
WWJD = What Would Jesus Drive?
WWJD = What Would Jesus Drink?
Religion requires faith, science requires thinking.
“Lighthouses are more useful than churches.” Ben Franklin
“The nearest I can make of it, Love your enemies means hate your friends.” Ben
Franklin
“The way to see by Faith, is to shut the eye of Reason.” Ben Franklin
“If man is this evil with religion, then what would he be like without?” Ben Franklin
Religion: the original pyramid scheme.
The Family That Prays Together is Brainwashing the Children
Oh, Look, Honey Another Pro-lifer For War
Another Godless Atheist for Peace and World Harmony
God is Unavailable Right Now. Can I Help You?
When Lip Service to Some Mysterious Deity Permits Bestiality on Wednesday and
Absolution on Sundays, Cash Me Out. Frank Sinatra.
No Gods. No Mullets.
When you kill one man you’re a murderer, a bunch you’re a psycho, thousand and
you’re a hero, millions you’re a conqueror and if you kill them all… you are God!
Transubstantiation: Just say no to cannibalism.
Anything God can’t do we can do better.
Atheist: a man who sells his soul to get money to give to the needy; theist; one who
takes from the needy to protect his soul.
Jesus may love you but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
Evangelical Agnostic: God? I don’t know and neither do you. God? I don’t care and
neither should you.
The clergy build castles in the sky; the religious live in them and the rest of us have to
pay their rent.
As an atheist, I condemn your religion, not you; now, do you condemn me?
As an atheist, I am more compassionate than your God.
Relax. We did not suffer before our births and we can’t suffer when we’re gone.
I wouldn’t send God to hell, if i could, but I would commit Him.
If evil exists there is nothing that can be done about it, but if suffering is only caused
by ignorance, then there is true hope.
We think, therefore there is hope.
Good does not require religion, but it is threatened by it.
All religious extremism begins as religious moderation.
Most religions preach tolerance until one of them gets the upper hand.
A fool is guided by religion; the wise question it, and politicians abuse it.
Faith is the refusal to see reality. Sanity is the insistence on reality.
Believers made God in their image: violent and irrational.
Jesus, save me from your followers.
God was more than capable of judging people, without help before you were born
God hates you, and that’s why he’s letting you die.
If people send each other to heaven or hell it is murder, but it is natural if God does it.
I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your
Christ. — Gandhi
Have You Threatened Your Children With Eternal Damnation Today?
A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE CAN GO A LONG WAY
A LOT OF PROFESSIONALS ARE CRACKPOTS
A MAN CAN’T KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE A MOTHER
A NAME MEANS A LOT JUST BY ITSELF
A POSITIVE ATTITUDE MEANS ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD
A RELAXED MAN IS NOT NECESSARILY A BETTER MAN
A SENSE OF TIMING IS THE MARK OF GENIUS
A SINCERE EFFORT IS ALL YOU CAN ASK
A SINGLE EVENT CAN HAVE INFINITELY MANY INTERPRETATIONS
A SOLID HOME BASE BUILDS A SENSE OF SELF
A STRONG SENSE OF DUTY IMPRISONS YOU
ABSOLUTE SUBMISSION CAN BE A FORM OF FREEDOM
ABSTRACTION IS A TYPE OF DECADENCE
ABUSE OF POWER COMES AS NO SURPRISE
ACTION CAUSES MORE TROUBLE THAN THOUGHT
ALIENATION PRODUCES ECCENTRICS OR REVOLUTIONARIES
ALL THINGS ARE DELICATELY INTERCONNECTED
AMBITION IS JUST AS DANGEROUS AS COMPLACENCY
AMBIVALENCE CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE
AN ELITE IS INEVITABLE
ANGER OR HATE CAN BE A USEFUL MOTIVATING FORCE
ANIMALISM IS PERFECTLY HEALTHY
ANY SURPLUS IS IMMORAL
ANYTHING IS A LEGITIMATE AREA OF INVESTIGATION
ARTIFICIAL DESIRES ARE DESPOILING THE EARTH
AT TIMES INACTIVITY IS PREFERABLE TO MINDLESS FUNCTIONING
AT TIMES YOUR UNCONSCIOUSNESS IS TRUER THAN YOUR CONSCIOUS
MIND
AUTOMATION IS DEADLY
AWFUL PUNISHMENT AWAITS REALLY BAD PEOPLE
BAD INTENTIONS CAN YIELD GOOD RESULTS
BEING ALONE WITH YOURSELF IS INCREASINGLY UNPOPULAR
BEING HAPPY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE
BEING JUDGMENTAL IS A SIGN OF LIFE
BEING SURE OF YOURSELF MEANS YOU’RE A FOOL
BELIEVING IN REBIRTH IS THE SAME AS ADMITTING DEFEAT
BOREDOM MAKES YOU DO CRAZY THINGS
CALM IS MORE CONDUCTIVE TO CREATIVITY THAN IS ANXIETY
CATEGORIZING FEAR IS CALMING
CHANGE IS VALUABLE WHEN THE OPPRESSED BECOME TYRANTS
CHASING THE NEW IS DANGEROUS TO SOCIETY
CHILDREN ARE THE MOST CRUEL OF ALL
CHILDREN ARE THE HOPE OF THE FUTURE
CLASS ACTION IS A NICE IDEA WITH NO SUBSTANCE
CLASS STRUCTURE IS AS ARTIFICIAL AS PLASTIC
CONFUSING YOURSELF IS A WAY TO STAY HONEST
CRIME AGAINST PROPERTY IS RELATIVELY UNIMPORTANT
DECADENCE CAN BE AN END IN ITSELF
DECENCY IS A RELATIVE THING
DEPENDENCE CAN BE A MEAL TICKET
DESCRIPTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN METAPHOR
DEVIANTS ARE SACRIFICED TO INCREASE GROUP SOLIDARITY
DISGUST IS THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO MOST SITUATIONS
DISORGANIZATION IS A KIND OF ANESTHESIA
DON’T PLACE TO MUCH TRUST IN EXPERTS
DRAMA OFTEN OBSCURES THE REAL ISSUES
DREAMING WHILE AWAKE IS A FRIGHTENING CONTRADICTION
DYING AND COMING BACK GIVES YOU CONSIDERABLE PERSPECTIVE
DYING SHOULD BE AS EASY AS FALLING OFF A LOG
EATING TOO MUCH IS CRIMINAL
ELABORATION IS A FORM OF POLLUTION
EMOTIONAL RESPONSES AR AS VALUABLE AS INTELLECTUAL
RESPONSES
ENJOY YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYTHING ANYWAY
ENSURE THAT YOUR LIFE STAYS IN FLUX
EVEN YOUR FAMILY CAN BETRAY YOU
EVERY ACHIEVEMENT REQUIRES A SACRIFICE
EVERYONE’S WORK IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT
EVERYTHING THAT’S INTERESTING IS NEW
EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE DESERVE SPECIAL CONCESSIONS
EXPIRING FOR LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL BUT STUPID
EXPRESSING ANGER IS NECESSARY
EXTREME BEHAVIOR HAS ITS BASIS IN PATHOLOGICAL PSYCHOLOGY
EXTREME SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS LEADS TO PERVERSION
FAITHFULNESS IS A SOCIAL NOT A BIOLOGICAL LAW
FAKE OR REAL INDIFFERENCE IS A POWERFUL PERSONAL WEAPON
FATHERS OFTEN USE TOO MUCH FORCE
FEAR IS THE GREATEST INCAPACITATOR
FREEDOM IS A LUXURY NOT A NECESSITY
GIVING FREE REIN TO YOUR EMOTIONS IS AN HONEST WAY TO LIVE
GO ALL OUT IN ROMANCE AND LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY
GOING WITH THE FLOW IS SOOTHING BUT RISKY
GOOD DEEDS EVENTUALLY ARE REWARDED
GOVERNMENT IS A BURDEN ON THE PEOPLE
GRASS ROOTS AGITATION IS THE ONLY HOPE
GUILT AND SELF-LACERATION ARE INDULGENCES
HABITUAL CONTEMPT DOESN’T REFLECT A FINER SENSIBILITY
HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS IS DESPICABLE
HOLDING BACK PROTECTS YOUR VITAL ENERGIES
HUMANISM IS OBSOLETE
HUMOR IS A RELEASE
IDEALS ARE REPLACED BY CONVENTIONAL GOALS AT A CERTAIN AGE
IF YOU AREN’T POLITICAL YOUR PERSONAL LIFE SHOULD BE
EXEMPLARY
IF YOU CAN’T LEAVE YOUR MARK GIVE UP
IF YOU HAVE MANY DESIRES YOUR LIFE WILL BE INTERESTING
IF YOU LIVE SIMPLY THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT
IGNORING ENEMIES IS THE BEST WAY TO FIGHT
ILLNESS IS A STATE OF MIND
IMPOSING ORDER IS MAN’S VOCATION FOR CHAOS IS HELL
IN SOME INSTANCES IT’S BETTER TO DIE THAN TO CONTINUE
INHERITANCE MUST BE ABOLISHED
IT CAN BE HELPFUL TO KEEP GOING NO MATTER WHAT
IT IS HEROIC TO TRY TO STOP TIME
IT IS MAN’S FATE TO OUTSMART HIMSELF
IT IS A GIFT TO THE WORLD NOT TO HAVE BABIES
IT’S BETTER TO BE A GOOD PERSON THAN A FAMOUS PERSON
IT’S BETTER TO BE LONELY THAN TO BE WITH INFERIOR PEOPLE
IT’S BETTER TO BE NAIVE THAN JADED
IT’S BETTER TO STUDY THE LIVING FACT THAN TO ANALYZE HISTORY
IT’S CRUCIAL TO HAVE AN ACTIVE FANTASY LIFE
IT’S GOOD TO GIVE EXTRA MONEY TO CHARITY
IT’S IMPORTANT TO STAY CLEAN ON ALL LEVELS
IT’S JUST AN ACCIDENT THAT YOUR PARENTS ARE YOUR PARENTS
IT’S NOT GOOD TO HOLD TOO MANY ABSOLUTES
IT’S NOT GOOD TO OPERATE ON CREDIT
IT’S VITAL TO LIVE IN HARMONY WITH NATURE
JUST BELIEVING SOMETHING CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN
KEEP SOMETHING IN RESERVE FOR EMERGENCIES
KILLING IS UNAVOIDABLE BUT NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF
KNOWING YOURSELF LETS YOU UNDERSTAND OTHERS
KNOWLEDGE SHOULD BE ADVANCED AT ALL COSTS
LABOR IS A LIFE-DESTROYING ACTIVITY
LACK OF CHARISMA CAN BE FATAL
LEISURE TIME IS A GIGANTIC SMOKE SCREEN
LISTEN WHEN YOUR BODY TALKS
LOOKING BACK IS THE FIRST SIGN OF AGING AND DECAY
LOVING ANIMALS IS A SUBSTITUTE ACTIVITY
LOW EXPECTATIONS ARE GOOD PROTECTION
MANUAL LABOR CAN BE REFRESHING AND WHOLESOME
MEN ARE NOT MONOGAMOUS BY NATURE
MODERATION KILLS THE SPIRIT
MONEY CREATES TASTE
MONOMANIA IS A PREREQUISITE OF SUCCESS
MORALS ARE FOR LITTLE PEOPLE
MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT FIT TO RULE THEMSELVES
MOSTLY YOU SHOULD MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS
MOTHERS SHOULDN’T MAKE TOO MANY SACRIFICES
MUCH WAS DECIDED BEFORE YOU WERE BORN
MURDER HAS ITS SEXUAL SIDE
MYTH CAN MAKE REALITY MORE INTELLIGIBLE
NOISE CAN BE HOSTILE
NOTHING UPSETS THE BALANCE OF GOOD AND EVIL
OCCASIONALLY PRINCIPLES ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN PEOPLE
OFFER VERY LITTLE INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF
OFTEN YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE YOU ARE SEXLESS
OLD FRIENDS ARE BETTER LEFT IN THE PAST
OPACITY IS AN IRRESISTIBLE CHALLENGE
PAIN CAN BE A VERY POSITIVE THING
PEOPLE ARE BORING UNLESS THEY ARE EXTREMISTS
PEOPLE ARE NUTS IF THEY THINK THEY ARE IMPORTANT
PEOPLE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THEY DO UNLESS THEY ARE
INSANE
PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK WITH THEIR HANDS ARE PARASITES
PEOPLE WHO GO CRAZY ARE TOO SENSITIVE
PEOPLE WON’T BEHAVE IF THEY HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE
PHYSICAL CULTURE IS SECOND BEST
PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE IS ESCAPISM
PLAYING IT SAFE CAN CAUSE A LOT OF DAMAGE IN THE LONG RUN
POLITICS IS USED FOR PERSONAL GAIN
POTENTIAL COUNTS FOR NOTHING UNTIL IT’S REALIZED
PRIVATE PROPERTY CREATED CRIME
PURSUING PLEASURE FOR THE SAKE OF PLEASURE WILL RUIN YOU
PUSH YOURSELF TO THE LIMIT AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE
RAISE BOYS AND GIRLS THE SAME WAY
RANDOM MATING IS GOOD FOR DEBUNKING SEX MYTHS
RECHANNELING DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSES IS A SIGN OF MATURITY
RECLUSES ALWAYS GET WEAK
REDISTRIBUTING WEALTH IS IMPERATIVE
RELATIVITY IS NO BOON TO MANKIND
RELIGION CAUSES AS MANY PROBLEMS AS IT SOLVES
REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS HAVE FREEDOM OF CHOICE
REPETITION IS THE BEST WAY TO LEARN
RESOLUTIONS SERVE TO EASE OUR CONSCIENCE
REVOLUTION BEGINS WITH CHANGES IN THE INDIVIDUAL
ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN
ROUTINE IS A LINK WITH THE PAST
ROUTINE SMALL EXCESSES ARE WORSE THAN THEN THE OCCASIONAL
DEBAUCH
SACRIFICING YOURSELF FOR A BAD CAUSE IS NOT A MORAL ACT
SALVATION CAN’T BE BOUGHT AND SOLD
SELF-AWARENESS CAN BE CRIPPLING
SELF-CONTEMPT CAN DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD
SELFISHNESS IS THE MOST BASIC MOTIVATION
SELFLESSNESS IS THE HIGHEST ACHIEVEMENT
SEPARATISM IS THE WAY TO A NEW BEGINNING
SEX DIFFERENCES ARE HERE TO STAY
SIN IS A MEANS OF SOCIAL CONTROL
SLIPPING INTO MADNESS IS GOOD FOR THE SAKE OF COMPARISON
SLOPPY THINKING GETS WORSE OVER TIME
SOLITUDE IS ENRICHING
SOMETIMES SCIENCE ADVANCES FASTER THAN IT SHOULD
SOMETIMES THINGS SEEM TO HAPPEN OF THEIR OWN ACCORD
SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT IS ANTISOCIAL
STARVATION IS NATURE’S WAY
STASIS IS A DREAM STATE
STERILIZATION IS A WEAPON OF THE RULERS
STRONG EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT STEMS FROM BASIC INSECURITY
STUPID PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BREED
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST APPLIES TO MEN AND ANIMALS
SYMBOLS ARE MORE MEANINGFUL THAN THINGS THEMSELVES
TAKING A STRONG STAND PUBLICIZES THE OPPOSITE POSITION
TALKING IS USED TO HIDE ONE’S INABILITY TO ACT
TEASING PEOPLE SEXUALLY CAN HAVE UGLY CONSEQUENCES
TECHNOLOGY WILL MAKE OR BREAK US
THE CRUELEST DISAPPOINTMENT IS WHEN YOU LET YOURSELF DOWN
THE DESIRE TO REPRODUCE IS A DEATH WISH
THE FAMILY IS LIVING ON BORROWED TIME
THE IDEA OF REVOLUTION IS AN ADOLESCENT FANTASY
THE IDEA OF TRANSCENDENCE IS USED TO OBSCURE OPPRESSION
THE IDIOSYNCRATIC HAS LOST ITS AUTHORITY
THE MOST PROFOUND THINGS ARE INEXPRESSIBLE
THE MUNDANE IS TO BE CHERISHED
THE NEW IS NOTHING BUT A RESTATEMENT OF THE OLD
THE ONLY WAY TO BE PURE IS TO STAY BY YOURSELF
THE SUM OF YOUR ACTIONS DETERMINES WHAT YOU ARE
THE UNATTAINABLE IS INVARIABLE ATTRACTIVE
THE WORLD OPERATES ACCORDING TO DISCOVERABLE LAWS
THERE ARE TOO FEW IMMUTABLE TRUTHS TODAY
THERE’S NOTHING EXCEPT WHAT YOU SENSE
THERE’S NOTHING REDEEMING IN TOIL
THINKING TOO MUCH CAN ONLY CAUSE PROBLEMS
THREATENING SOMEONE SEXUALLY IS A HORRIBLE ACT
TIMIDITY IS LAUGHABLE
TO DISAGREE PRESUPPOSES MORAL INTEGRITY
TO VOLUNTEER IS REACTIONARY
TORTURE IS BARBARIC
TRADING A LIFE FOR A LIFE IS FAIR ENOUGH
TRUE FREEDOM IS FRIGHTFUL
UNIQUE THINGS MUST BE THE MOST VALUABLE
UNQUESTIONING LOVE DEMONSTRATES LARGESSE OF SPIRIT
USING FORCE TO STOP FORCE IS ABSURD
VIOLENCE IS PERMISSIBLE EVEN DESIRABLE OCCASIONALLY
WAR IS A PURIFICATION RITE
WE MUST MAKE SACRIFICES TO MAINTAIN OUR QUALITY OF LIFE
WHEN SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS PEOPLE WAKE UP
WISHING THINGS AWAY IS NOT EFFECTIVE
WITH PERSEVERANCE YOU CAN DISCOVER ANY TRUTH
WORDS TEND TO BE INADEQUATE
WORRYING CAN HELP YOU PREPARE
YOU ARE A VICTIM OF THE RULES YOU LIVE BY
YOU ARE GUILELESS IN YOUR DREAMS
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CONSTITUTING THE MEANING OF THINGS
YOU ARE THE PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE
YOU CAN LIVE ON THROUGH YOUR DESCENDANTS
YOU CAN’T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE SOMETHING THEY’RE NOT
YOU CAN’T FOOL OTHERS IF YOU’RE FOOLING YOURSELF
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WHAT UNTIL YOU SUPPORT YOURSELF
YOU HAVE TO HURT OTHERS TO BE EXTRAORDINARY
YOU MUST BE INTIMATE WITH A TOKEN FEW
YOU MUST DISAGREE WITH AUTHORITY FIGURES
YOU MUST HAVE ONE GRAND PASSION
YOU MUST KNOW WHERE YOU STOP AND THE WORLD BEGINS
YOU CAN UNDERSTAND SOMEONE OF YOUR SEX ONLY
YOU OWE THE WORLD NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND
YOU SHOULD STUDY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
YOUR ACTIONS AE POINTLESS IF NO ONE NOTICES
YOUR OLDEST FEARS ARE THE WORST ONES

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