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October 16, 2013

Fatherhood, Marriage, Relationships & Family

60+ Family Tradition Ideas

Last week we published an article that discussed why and how to establish family traditions. Traditions offer
numerous benefits: they strengthen your familys bonds, enrich the life you share together, contribute to your
childrens well-being, and create lasting memories. For this reason, they form one of the three pillars of
family culture.
Today we offer a list of over 60 specific family tradition ideas. You can incorporate some of these directly
into your family, or use them as inspiration for creating your own traditions.
Before we get started, lets cover a few things that will help ensure that your establishment of new traditions
will be met with success:
While its tempting to go crazy with starting lots of traditions, shoot for quality over quantity. If you do
a couple from within each category, youre gold.
Choose traditions that most resonate with you. Having said that, as you review the list, try not to
immediately write off some as silly or not elaborate enough. This isnt only about what appeals to you
as a jaded adult, but what will appeal to your kids. If you think back to your childhood, some
surprisingly silly and simple stuff was a lot of fun and created great memories.
Traditions need to be practiced regularly to be effective. Its easy to throw a tradition out the window
when life gets busy and youve had a long day. Commit to the tradition and do your best to be as
consistent as possible with it.
The ideas below come from The Book of New Family Traditions, from mine and Kates respective families,

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Daily Connection Traditions are the small things you do every day to reinforce family identity and values.
Brettand
& Kate
McKay your familys daily traditions can devolve into everyone surfing the
Without thought
intentionality,
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internet on their
own devices. So be sure to incorporate some rituals that bring you together face-to-face and
allow you to re-connect each day.
Secret Handshake. Secret handshakes have been used by groups for millennia to distinguish members and
non-members. Make one up for your own family. It can be elaborate and complex or simple but meaningful.
An example of the latter comes from a family profiled in The Book of New Family Traditions. This family
had the tradition of squeezing each others hands three times to signal the three words I love you. On the
day the daughter got married, the father squeezed her hand three times as he walked her down the aisle.
Only she knew that this was happening, a tiny personal ritual lodged invisibly within one of the grandest and
most public, and she says it was one of the most moving moments of her life.
Family Meal. Countless studies have shown the positive influence that sharing a meal together as a family (it
doesnt have to be dinner) has on children. Well be dedicating an entire post to how to get the most out of
family meals, but in the meantime, consider these suggestions to turn the breaking of bread into a cherished
tradition:
First: no TV, no cellphones, and no tablets.
Begin with grace. If youre not religious, have everyone share something that theyre grateful for that
day.
Family news: everyone takes turns sharing something positive and negative that has happened to them
during the day.
Got any stories? This is a tradition that Kate and I have had for a few years. Each person is expected
to bring something interesting to the table that theyve read or heard during the day.
Family Prayer. For religious families, prayer is an important ritual. Family prayer doesnt have to be just a
dinnertime thing. You can pray as a family before everyone leaves in the morning, before everyone goes to
bed, or both. Our family has prayers at night. Everyone takes turns saying the prayer, including Gus.
Family Singing Time. Theres something about singing that unites humans on a primal level. Whats more,
through song, you can pass on your values and cultural heritage to your children. Our family always sings a
song or two when we put Gus to bed. Its something weve done since he was an infant, and you can tell it
makes him feel comforted, loved (we often sing songs about being a family), and relaxed. Its been cool to
watch him slowly learn the words and start singing along with us.
I really hope that Gus or Scout is interested in taking piano lessons, as I have a very fond dream of one day
standing around the piano singing Christmas carols together.
The What We Learned Today Journal. Buy a fancy, leather-bound journal. Each night before bed,
every member of the family needs to write something they learned during the day. Parents can transcribe for
little children. Entries dont have to be long or profound. It can be as simple as, If you touch a turtle, he puts
his head back in his shell. This is a great way to foster a love of lifelong learning in your children.
Surprise Daily Drawing/Note. Theres a guy here in Tulsa who drew little comics or wrote inspiring quotes
on the napkins he put in his daughters school lunches. Napkin Dad was born. I want to do something like
this when my kiddos start school.

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and the idea is to really drive home our family identity.

Brett & Kate McKay
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Bedtime Story. Children who have parents that read to them regularly typically do better in school and have
larger vocabularies than children who dont. Reading with your child will not only make them smarter, but
its a great way to bond. Theres something really comforting about hearing your dad read aloud to you. For
inspiration, check out this dad and daughter who read together every night for 3,128 days straight until the
daughter was in college.
Evening Walks. Not only can walking help solve problems, but it can also strengthen families. Evening
walks are a great time to get some fresh air and digest the days events along with your dinner.
Family Call-and-Response Motto. When they were growing up, brothers Jim and John Harbaugh (the
coaches of the NFLs San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens respectively) didnt have much. But
their father always made them feel like they had everything they needed. To reinforce this feeling, he would
ask his boys, Whos got it better than us? To which they would respond: Nooo-body! Jim now uses the
same call and response to build the unity of his football team.

Weekly Connection Traditions

Family Game Night. Analog games, from cribbage to Apples to Apples, are a fun and cheap way to bond
and have fun together as a family. Tamp the competition down and ramp the laughter up. I personally cant
wait to play Boggle with Gus and Scout.

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poetic about how movies were just plain better in the 80s. Have fun with the snacks too come up with dads
special popcorn
recipe
or occasionally
take the kids to the drugstore and let them each pick out their own
Brett
& Kate
McKay
candy.
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Saturday Football. Theres something incredibly relaxing and comforting about watching college football
with your family on a Saturday afternoon in the fall. Pass down your alma mater pride as you cheer on your
team together.
Pizza Night. Everyone loves pizza, and its nice to be able to look forward to having it on a certain night
each week. Skip the delivery now and again and make your own allowing the kids to decide how to top
their own super simple mini pizzas.
Dont like pizza? How about Taco Tuesday? We love Taco Tuesday around here.
Family Home Evening. Mormons are encouraged to set aside one night per week (usually Monday night) for
Family Home Evening. A typical Family Home Evening includes a fun activity and a short lesson or
devotional on some virtue or scripture. FHE is usually capped off with a special treat.
The goal of Family Home Evening is to teach your children the principles and values you want them to carry
with them as adults, all within an informal and loving atmosphere. FHE can be adapted by families of any
religious stripe or even families who arent religious. Theres no formula for Family Home Evening. Just
corral the kids for 30 minutes one night a week for fun, discussion, and eats.
Family Vinyl Dance Party. AoM contributor Cameron Schaefer shared a fun family tradition in his post on
getting started in vinyl record collecting. On Friday nights the Schaefer family gathers in their family room
for a Vinyl Record Dance Party. A family member selects a soundtrack for the night, and they all dance until
they collapse on the floor.

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Special Saturday/Sunday Morning Breakfast. Lots of families have special Saturday/Sunday morning
breakfast traditions. For some its pancakes or cinnamon rolls, for others its a giant breakfast casserole. Dads
and breakfasts just go together, so work on coming up with your own specialty.
Breakfast need not be a solely in-home tradition, however. I take Gus to Braums every Saturday morning for
breakfast. Pancakes and milk for Gus. Sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit for dad. Weve been doing this since
Gus was about 10 months old, and weve rarely missed a Saturday. Its a hoot to see Gus get all excited about
Breakfast at Braums on Friday night.
Dinner & Grocery Shopping. Every Monday we go as family to a grocery store that also has their own little
restaurant. We eat dinner there first and then do our shopping. Doesnt sound really exciting, but we all look
forward to it.
Weekly Family Meeting. Your family is an organization. And like any successful organization, you need to
plan, discuss issues, and synchronize schedules. Enter the weekly family meeting. Ill be dedicating an entire
post on how to run a successful family meeting in the future. Stay tuned.

Monthly Connection Traditions

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Full Moon Walks. A full moon occurs roughly every 29 days. While you may have gotten used to seeing
them, they really are a magical sight especially for kids who havent lost their sense of wonder. Whenever a
full moon has risen, take a walk outside at night as a family to have a look at it. Get into the woods
sometimes if you can in order to experience the awe of nature at night. This is a great way to get your kids
keyed in to the rhythms and cycles of our world.
Box of Goals. An important life skill for your children to develop is how to set and work towards a goal.
What better way to teach this than with a family tradition? Get a cigar box or fancy wooden box and on the
first day of each month, have your family members write down one goal they want to accomplish that month
on a piece of paper and place it in the box. When next month rolls around, take out the pieces of paper and
review the goals to see how everyone did. Then write new goals for the next month. Rinse and repeat.
Daddy Date. We have a friend who has three daughters. Ever since they were knee-high to a grasshopper, he
took one of them each month on a Daddy Daughter Date. Rules were simple. The daughter he spent the
evening with got to pick the activity they took part in. He didnt care what they did. His goal was to give each
one of his kids one-on-one time with dad.
The monthly date with dad isnt just for daughters. You can do something similar with your sons as well.
Family Service Day. If creating a culture of service is part of your family mission statement, put that goal
into action with a monthly Family Service Day. Designate one Saturday or Sunday to serving others. It could

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Life Changes/Milestone
Traditions
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Milestone traditions celebrate events that may occur only a few times, or even just once for your immediate
family. But they become traditions as they are passed down from one generation to the next.
New Home Traditions
New Home Dedication. Buying a home is a momentous occasion and thus a great time for instituting a
family tradition. Some religious folks hold ceremonies in which they dedicate the home (and all those who
dwell in it) to God.
In the Jewish tradition, its customary to hold a Chanukat Habayit (home dedication) party. At this gathering,
words from the Torah are spoken and family and friends use the occasion to express their blessings and
wishes for a fruitful and happy stay in this new home.
New Muslim homeowners will often host a feast in their new house and those that enter are to leave their
blessing.
Differing Christian denominations have their own unique new home dedication rituals, but they typically
involve a dedicatory prayer and a reading from the Bible. For some ideas on which scriptures to read check
out this list. I know many Christian families that will place a plaque near their homes entryway with the
famous verse from Joshua 24:15 (As for me and my house) after a home dedication ceremony.
Its a Wonderful Life Blessing. In the classic holiday movie, Its a Wonderful Life, George Bailey and his
wife, Mary, give a nice housewarming gift/blessing to a family that just moved into a new house:
Mary: Bread that this house may never know hunger.
[Mary hands a loaf of bread to Mrs. Martini.]
Mary: Salt that life may always have flavor.
[Mary hands a box of salt to Mrs. Martini.]
George Bailey: And wine that joy and prosperity may reign forever. Enter the Martini Castle.
[George hands Mr. Martini a bottle of wine.]
You dont need to know a thoughtful couple like the Baileys to experience this tradition. Just do it yourself
when you move into your home. Make some focaccia maybe, and enjoy it with wine for mom and dad and
grape juice for the kiddos.
Mortgage Burning Party. This one is for you Dave Ramsey gazelles out there. Once you pay off your
home mortgage, throw a party with your family and ceremoniously burn your mortgage agreement. Mortgage
burning parties were actually once a common tradition in America, but due to changing mores and the
increasing mobility of Americans (thus making it less likely a homeowner will live long enough in a home to
pay it off), Mortgage Burning Parties are pretty much unheard of today. I think its a tradition well-worth

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Family Time Capsule. Bury a family time capsule when you move into what you think will be your forever
home. Fill the capsule with some of your familys favorites things, notes, and items that represent the time
period. Then open in it up in 20 or 30 years. Make sure you exhume it if you end up moving sooner than you
thought you would.
School-Related Traditions
First Day of School Photos. On the first day of every school year, take your kiddos to the front of the house
and snap a picture of them for posterity. Youll enjoy looking back at how theyve grown through the ages. I
remember looking forward to this little ceremony as a kid. It was my chance to show off my cool new
backpack and Air Force One high-tops.
First Day of School Chalk Pep Talk. Kids can sometimes be a little nervous on the first day of school. Give
them a nice surprise by writing messages of encouragement on the driveway with chalk the night before. It
will put a smile on their face when they walk out the door the next day.
Parent/Teacher Conference Note. Whenever Kates parents came in for parent/teacher conferences, they
would leave a note for her in her desk, telling her how neat her desk was, how nice her artwork on the wall
was, and a nice thing the teacher had said about her. Kate says she really looked forward to finding the note
and that it was cool to think her parents had been there.

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the universitys fight song playing in the background. The mom would then snap a pic of the whole clan
dressed in their
school
colors,
frame it, and pack it in their kiddos stuff when he or she shipped off to
Brett
& Kate
McKay
college. Cheesy?
A
little
bit,
but
I always thought it was a nice gesture.
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Wedding Traditions
Night-Before-Wedding Roast. We have another friend whose family always stayed together at a hotel the
night before one of the kids got married. Theyd hang out and do a good-natured roast of the bride or groomto-be. They had a big enough immediate family (5 kids) to make this fun. If your family is smaller, invite
close extended family to take part too.

Birthday Traditions
Most families have traditions for celebrating birthdays. Cake, presents, dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. You
know, the usual. Below are some birthday traditions you may not have thought about.
First Cake Cut Wish. I picked this one up from Kates family. In addition to getting a wish for blowing out
the candles, the birthday boy or girl gets another wish for making the first cut into the birthday cake. Two
wishes, one cake. Cant beat that.
New Privilege/New Responsibility Cards. Amidst all the fun and hoopla, remind your kid that with age
comes greater power and with greater power comes greater responsibility. In addition to birthday presents,
present your child with two envelopes. One envelope is labeled, New Privilege; the other, New
Responsibility. Provide an age appropriate privilege and responsibility each year.
8th/ 18th Birthday Time Capsule. On your childs 8th birthday have him fill a time capsule with some of the
things he likes and a note to himself. Open it a decade later on his 18th birthday.
Nose Grease. This birthday tradition comes from our friendly neighbors north of the border. In Canada
(particularly the Atlantic Coast providences) its common for the birthday boy or girl to get ambushed by
friends or family members and have their nose greased with butter for good luck. The buttered nose
supposedly makes the person too slippery for bad luck to catch them. This tradition is said to come from
Scotland. I think Im going to have to adopt this one as it hails from my ancestral homeland of Nova Scotia.

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The Yearly Measurement on the Door Frame. Many families have a doorframe where they keep rough
pencil lines marking off the height of their kiddos as they age. Make it a tradition to take the measurement on
birthdays.

Miscellaneous Traditions
Hunting Traditions. Our hunter/gatherer ancestors developed meaningful traditions to celebrate the
life-giving hunt. While hunting is no longer essential for survival, many families continue to have traditions
that surround their yearly hunt. A few include celebrating the first kill by having the new hunter share his
harvest with those in the group, the Hunting Beard, and the after-hunt breakfast or dinner. There are many
more. Id love to hear yours in the comments.
Meteor Watching Party. Once a year or so (use this handy calendar) get everybody up in the pre-dawn
hours, dress warmly, drive out to a spot where theres less light pollution, lie down on a blanket, and pour
cups of cider or cocoa from a thermos as you watch for meteors and point out different constellations to your
kids.
Welcome to Fall Dinner. Usher in the first day of the indisputably best season of the year by having a
harvest-y dinner: turkey, stuffing, apple crisp, and the like. Its something my mom did in my family growing
up and I really enjoyed it.
Baseball Opening Day. While football has overtaken baseball as Americas favorite sport, theres still

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Barbershop Visit with Dad. Every man should frequent the barbershop. So should every little boy. Instill in
your strapping little lad the time-honored, manly tradition of visiting the barbershop by making his first visit
a big deal. Take pictures of him getting his ears lowered and then take him out for breakfast or lunch
afterwards. From then on, get your haircuts together.
Annual Camping Trip. Inspire a love of the great outdoors in your kids by taking them camping at least
once a year. If you find a campsite you love, return to it again and again as you build special memories
around that place.
Another fun tradition is to pick a day each year that you go backyard camping with your kid.

Holiday Traditions
The holidays are the most tradition-rich time of the year. There are a lot of great classic traditions out there
from making cookies for Christmas to doing an egg hunt on Easter. Here are some holiday traditions you may
not have thought of.
Easter
Easter Basket Scavenger Hunt. Instead of setting out the Easter baskets by their bed or in the living room,
have your kids do a fun hunt for them. Leave the first clue by their beds, and have them follow one clue to

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An important note: adding a scavenger hunt to anything turns it into an awesome, memorable tradition. Im
not sure theres
anything
fun as a kid than a scavenger hunt.
Brett
& Katemore
McKay
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Egg Wars. The fun of dyeing Easter eggs doesnt have to end when you pour out the food coloring. On
Easter Day, commence the egg wars. Two people each hold an egg and on the count of three, they hit the end
of their eggs together. Whoevers egg cracks loses; the winner goes on to another battle. You can offer a prize
to whoever has the egg that lasts the longest. During the Great Depression, Kates grandfathers family was
so poor, that the prize was keeping the other persons egg.
Halloween
Pumpkinfest. Make the classic tradition of pumpkin carving extra special by finding a nice pumpkin patch
that you return to each year, taking a hayride while there, and making a whole pumpkin-themed meal to
precede the carving (pumpkin soup, pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie).
Tombstone Rubbing and Ghost Stories. Tombstone rubbing used to be a popular pastime with folks. Its
still popular among genealogists searching for info about ancestors. Basically, you just get some butcher
paper, place it over the face of the tombstone, and then rub charcoal or crayon on it so that the lettering on the
tombstone is transferred to the paper.
To make this activity a bit spookier, visit an old cemetery at night and have a contest to see who can get the
oldest tombstone rubbing. (Make sure to bring flashlights!) Afterwards, tell ghost stories while sitting in the
cemetery. Spoooky!
Candy Swapping Wizard. This is a good one if youre not crazy about your kids grazing on their tricko-treat candy for the next 6 months, but want to do something about it thats more fun than curmudgeonly.
Tell your kids to select X number of pieces of candy they get to keep, and then to place the rest of their booty
outside the door to their room. During the night, a wizard comes and swaps their candy for a gift.
Jack O Lantern Burial. After serving valiantly on Halloween Night, a carved Jack OLantern typically
experiences an ignoble end by slowly wilting away on the front porch and eventually being tossed in the
trash. One family featured in The Book of New Family Traditions didnt think their Jack O Lanterns deserved
such an anticlimactic demise. So they decided to give their carved pumpkins a proper burial the day after
Halloween. They have a small patch in their backyard thats designated as the Pumpkin Graveyard. The
day after Halloween the family brings their respective Jack O Lanterns to the graveyard and offer a short
eulogy that goes thusly:
We are gathered here to pay homage to our dearly departed Jack O Lanterns. Throughout their
short lives our Halloween Pumpkins have brought both us and our Trick-or-Treaters much joy.
We now consign them to the earth where they first came. May they rest in peace.
All of this is done, of course, with tongue firmly placed in cheek.
Says the mother of this family, The Great Pumpkin would be proud.
Thanksgiving
Thankful Box. As they hang out before dinner begins, family members are encouraged to take time to

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draws a slip and reads it aloud until the box is empty. The fun comes both in hearing family members offer
heartfelt (andBrett
occasionally
humorous) thank yous, and in guessing who wrote what.
& Kate McKay
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Turkey Bowl Football Game. For families that have huge extended family gatherings at Thanksgiving, a
morning of touch football is a great way to work up an appetite for turkey and pumpkin pie later that day.
Watching the Lions Lose. No Thanksgiving would be complete without the family gathered around the TV
to watch the Detroit Lions lose. It would be like Thanksgiving without pumpkin pie or the Macys
Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Christmas
Out with the Old, In with the New. To teach your kids to live just a bit more simply, to accumulate less
stuff, and not to hold onto what they have too tightly, require that for however many gifts they get for
Christmas, they have to get rid of the same number of their old toys/clothes. Throw away or donate what they
discard.

Glass Wax Stencils. This is a tradition from Kates family that we plan to carry into ours. Glass wax is a
liquid window cleaner that comes out pinkish and dries with a white frost. By blotting it with a sponge over
stencils, you can, as the makers of glass wax used to tout, turn you window into a winter wonderland!
Stenciling with glass wax used to be popular decades ago, but has almost entirely disappeared, making both
the stencils and the wax hard to find. Look for the stencils on ebay and the glass wax at the Vermont Country
Store.
Pickle on the Christmas Tree. Legend has it that during the Civil War, Private John C. Lower was being
held at a prison camp and was given a pickle on Christmas Eve by one of the guards. Starving, he believed
the pickle helped save his life, and after the war he began a tradition of hiding a pickle on the Christmas tree
on Christmas Eve for his family to find the next morning. Other origin stories for this 19th century American

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Countdown Brett
to Christmas
with Books. There are a lot of fun ways to count down to Christmas with your
& Kate McKay
kids, from making
a paper chain to opening the doors of an advent calendar. Heres a new one I picked up
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from The Book of New Family Traditions: wrap 24 books about Christmas, and open and read one each night
during December. On the 24th, the book that is opened is The Night Before Christmas.
Run a Marathon Before Opening Presents. The parents of a family we know who are very ambitious,
gung-ho about life, and love physical challenges would make their kids run a marathon before they got to
open presents. Not individually, mind you! The 26 miles was split between the parents and their 4 kids,
depending on age and ability. Quite a way to teach delayed gratification.
New Years Eve
Rent a Hotel Room. Staying at a hotel is terribly exciting when youre a kid. Rent a room on New Years
Eve, bring board games and snacks, let the kids swim, and have a family slumber party to ring in the new
year.
Banging on Pots and Pans at Midnight. The tradition of noisemakers at midnight originates from the belief
that it would scare away bad luck and evil spirits. Let your kids run down the streets banging on pots and
pans when the clock strikes twelve.
Eating Chinese. Im not sure why we associate New Years Eve with Chinese food, since the Chinese New
Year is on a different date, but Kate and I have started a tradition of going out for Chinese food on December
31. Just seems lucky somehow.
If youre feeling more ambitious, try your hand at making our own fortune cookies and creating personalized
fortunes for your family.
Putting Regrets to the Fire. Have each family member write down and then share one of their regrets from
the past year. Then throw the regrets into the fireplace to symbolize a fresh start.
Read the other posts in the series:
The Importance of Creating a Family Culture
How and Why to Create a Family Mission Statement
The Importance of Establishing Family Traditions
How to Plan and Lead a Weekly Family Meeting
How to Get the Most Out of Family Dinners
How to Become Your Familys Transitional Character
Despite the size of this list, there are tons of other great traditions out there we didnt even mention all
the specific religious/ethnic/cultural traditions that exist! Tradition ideas are limited only by your
creativity. Please share your familys traditions in the comments!
Illustrations by Ted Slampyak
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