1

00:00:00,789 --> 00:00:03,462

[Chattering]
[Bell Tolling]
2
00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:06,484
[Man]
I didn't sleep well last night,
and I woke up with a scratchy throat.
3
00:00:06,552 --> 00:00:11,339
- I just don't feel so good. Uh, cough.
- ~ [Rock, Faint]
4
00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:17,100
[Clears Throat] Yeah, um-um,
I have a bit of an upset stomach too,
and I think I'm running a fever.
5
00:00:17,174 --> 00:00:22,189
I'm just worried
I might be contagious. [Coughs]
6
00:00:22,267 --> 00:00:27,122
Inventory. Tomorrow.
I'm-Yeah, I'm sure
I'll be feeling better by then.
7
00:00:28,131 --> 00:00:30,472
Thanks, Mr. Innabe.
8
00:00:32,252 --> 00:00:36,261
[Exhales, Chuckles]
I cannot believe you just did that.
9
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:39,184
L-I really do have a cough.
10
00:00:39,255 --> 00:00:41,596
Oh. So you weren't lying.
11
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:46,350
You'd be curled up in bed
with a bowl of chicken soup[Moans, Kisses]
12
00:00:46,425 --> 00:00:48,595
Even if you didn't have
a horny girl in your bed?

13
00:00:48,671 --> 00:00:52,680
Yes. [Laughs]
Because I really do- Hey.
14
00:00:52,759 --> 00:00:57,442
I really do have a cough.
You also have a little rash.
15
00:00:57,517 --> 00:01:03,206
[Laughs]
Um, I'm not sure
we should be kissing.
16
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:07,461
Oh. [Kisses] It's okay.
Because I have almost
no interest in kissing you.
17
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:10,036
Perfect.
[Laughs]
Good.
18
00:01:12,260 --> 00:01:15,264
Uh-uh-uh.
[Exhales, Laughs]
19
00:01:17,722 --> 00:01:20,635
Oh, baby.
[Exhales]
20
00:01:20,703 --> 00:01:22,645
[Both Moaning]
21
00:01:28,042 --> 00:01:30,783
[Moaning Continues]
22
00:01:37,926 --> 00:01:40,599
[Panting]
23
00:01:46,001 --> 00:01:50,284
[Breathing Erratically]
24
00:01:50,357 --> 00:01:55,817
[Giggles]
Oh, Brandon.

25
00:01:55,886 --> 00:01:59,895
[Chuckles]
Brandon.
26
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,456
[Laughs]
I know I'm good,
but come on.
27
00:02:06,943 --> 00:02:09,078
Brandon?
28
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:14,071
Brandon. Brandon. Brandon.
29
00:02:14,147 --> 00:02:17,323
Brandon.! Brandon.!
30
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:55,499
[Woman On P.A.]
Any additional R.N. To Surgical.
Any additional R.N. To Surgical.
31
00:02:58,914 --> 00:03:03,079
[Labored Breathing]
32
00:03:07,026 --> 00:03:10,258
[Groans, Shudders]
33
00:03:10,332 --> 00:03:12,425
[House]
Why do you want me to treat this guy?
34
00:03:12,502 --> 00:03:14,493
Blood pressure's not responding
to I.V. Fluids.
35
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:17,165
No, no. I didn't ask how you plan to
con me into treating him.
36
00:03:17,242 --> 00:03:19,905
I asked you why
you want me to treat him.
37
00:03:19,979 --> 00:03:22,642
He's sick. I care.

I'm pathetic.
38
00:03:22,716 --> 00:03:25,379
There are about a billion sick people
on the planet. Why this one?
39
00:03:25,453 --> 00:03:29,447
Because this one's
in our emergency room.
Ah, so it's a proximity issue.
40
00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:32,519
If somebody was sick in
the third-floor stairwell,
that's who'd we be talking about.
41
00:03:32,597 --> 00:03:35,761
Yes. I checked the stairwell.
It's clear.
42
00:03:35,835 --> 00:03:38,327
Okay, then.
Emergency room guy it is.
[Elevator Bell Dings]
43
00:03:38,405 --> 00:03:42,069
Wait. Why was that so easy?
You know why.
44
00:03:43,346 --> 00:03:46,748
- Blood pressure's not responding to
I.V. Fluids?
- Yeah.
45
00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:50,985
That's just weird.
46
00:03:52,726 --> 00:03:55,855
C.B.C. Was unremarkable.
Abdominal C.T. Scan didn't show anything.
47
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:58,594
So, people, differential diagnosis.
What's wrong with her?
48
00:03:58,669 --> 00:04:00,603
- Him.
- Him. Her. Does it matter?

49
00:04:00,672 --> 00:04:04,837
Does anyone think
it's a testicular problem? No. So, Chase?
50
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,904
- Yersinia infection?
- No. You wouldn't get the rash or cough.
51
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:11,316
What about arthritis?
Accompanying vasculitis
causes nerve damage52
00:04:11,386 --> 00:04:15,187
- No. It wouldn't cause
the blood pressure problems. Allergy?
- The kid's got abdominal pain.
53
00:04:15,259 --> 00:04:17,524
Maybe carcinoid?
No. But then you wouldn't get the54
00:04:17,596 --> 00:04:22,194
Foreman, if you're going to list
all the things it's not,
it might be quicker to do it alphabetically.
55
00:04:22,269 --> 00:04:27,402
Let's see, now. "Absidia." Excellent.
Doesn't account for any of the symptoms.
56
00:04:27,477 --> 00:04:30,311
- No condition accounts for
all these symptoms.
- Oh, good.
57
00:04:30,381 --> 00:04:33,442
Because I thought maybe he was sick.
But, apparently, he's not.
58
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:36,081
Who wants to do up
the discharge papers?
[Sighs]
59
00:04:37,224 --> 00:04:41,059
[Sighs] Okay. Unless we control
the blood pressure,

60
00:04:41,130 --> 00:04:44,294
he's gonna start circling the drain
before we can figure out
what's wrong with him.
61
00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:48,899
Treat him for sepsis, broad-spectrum
antibiotics, and I want a Cort-stim test
and an echocardiogram.
62
00:04:48,975 --> 00:04:51,809
[Heartbeat]
[Coughing]
63
00:04:55,385 --> 00:04:58,719
You all right?
[Coughs]
Yeah.
64
00:04:58,789 --> 00:05:02,954
The Cort-stim test will tell us
if your pituitary and adrenal glands
are working properly.
65
00:05:03,029 --> 00:05:06,193
- His glands? What does that mean?
- We have a few theories we're working on.
66
00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:08,930
- You mean you don't know.
- Mindy.
67
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,769
I'm just saying, if they knew
they wouldn't be testing you,
they'd be treating you.
68
00:05:11,841 --> 00:05:16,803
Yeah, well, that's the way it works.
First we find out what it is,
then we get you better.
69
00:05:25,561 --> 00:05:28,622
You're half an hour late.
Busy caseload.
70
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:31,067
One case is not a load.

71
00:05:31,136 --> 00:05:34,971
So how are we doing
on cotton swabs today? If there's
an acute shortage, I could run home72
00:05:35,042 --> 00:05:38,535
No, you couldn't.
Nice.
73
00:05:43,555 --> 00:05:46,923
Hello, sick people
and their loved ones.
74
00:05:46,993 --> 00:05:51,328
In the interest of saving time
and avoiding a lot ofboring
chitchat later, I'm Dr. Gregory House.
75
00:05:51,399 --> 00:05:55,666
You can call me Greg.
I'm one of three doctors
staffing this clinic this morning.
76
00:05:55,739 --> 00:05:59,870
Short. Sweet. Grab a file.
This ray of sunshine
is Dr. Lisa Cuddy.
77
00:05:59,945 --> 00:06:03,438
Dr. Cuddy runs this whole hospital,
so, unfortunately, she's much
too busy to deal with you.
78
00:06:03,517 --> 00:06:07,113
I am a board-certified diagnostician,
79
00:06:07,188 --> 00:06:09,783
with a double specialty of
infectious disease and nephrology.
80
00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:13,695
I'm also the only doctor
currently employed at this clinic who is
forced to be here against his will.
81
00:06:13,765 --> 00:06:16,257
That is true, isn't it? But not to worry.
82

00:06:16,336 --> 00:06:20,034

Because for most of you, this job could be
done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin.
83
00:06:20,107 --> 00:06:24,204
Speaking of which,
if you're particularly annoying,
you may see me reach for this.
84
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:27,944
This is Vicodin. It's mine.
You can't have any.
85
00:06:28,019 --> 00:06:32,013
And, no, I do not have
a pain management problem.
I have a pain problem.
86
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:36,393
But who knows? Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe I'm too stoned to tell.
87
00:06:36,465 --> 00:06:38,798
So, who wants me?
88
00:06:42,607 --> 00:06:45,076
And who would rather wait
for one of the other two guys?
89
00:06:46,813 --> 00:06:51,309
Okay. Well, I'll be in Exam Room One
if you change your mind.
90
00:06:53,590 --> 00:06:56,458
Jodi Matthews?
91
00:06:56,527 --> 00:06:59,827
Please accompany Dr. House
to Exam Room One.
92
00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:07,403
Dr. Chase.
93
00:07:07,477 --> 00:07:10,970
I'm not sure scaring your boyfriend
is the best medicine for him right now.
94
00:07:11,049 --> 00:07:15,384

I know. I get stupid

when I'm scared.
Don't go rock climbing.
95
00:07:15,455 --> 00:07:18,789
Look, I was wondering.
Before this happened, we were having sex.
96
00:07:21,196 --> 00:07:25,190
[Sighs]
What? You're wondering if
whatever he has, you might've gotten it?
97
00:07:25,269 --> 00:07:28,262
It-It's unlikely.
We ran a complete S.T.D. Panel, so98
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:33,006
No. I'm wondering if maybe
I did this to him. I was kind of rough.
99
00:07:39,857 --> 00:07:43,692
It was yellow.
It was?
100
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:46,892
It's not anymore.
Well, that's a shame.
101
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:51,633
I thought that might be a problem,
so I brought you this.
102
00:07:55,146 --> 00:07:59,140
Your mucus was "pale goldenrod."
103
00:07:59,219 --> 00:08:02,917
Last week, yes.
Should I be worried?
Oh, yes. Very.
104
00:08:02,990 --> 00:08:06,427
Really?
I thought it was okay now.
105
00:08:06,496 --> 00:08:08,988
And yet, here you are.
What happened?

106
00:08:09,066 --> 00:08:11,627
Paramedics took a week
to respond to your 911 call?
107
00:08:11,703 --> 00:08:14,605
You're not a very nice doctor,
are you?
108
00:08:14,675 --> 00:08:17,406
And you are very bad at
whatever it is you do.
109
00:08:17,478 --> 00:08:20,778
You don't even know me.
I know you're gonna get fired.
110
00:08:20,850 --> 00:08:24,947
That's why you got the new glasses.
That's why your teeth are sparkly white.
111
00:08:25,022 --> 00:08:28,515
You're getting the most of
your health insurance while you still can.
112
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:32,021
I might be quitting.
[Zipper Zips]
113
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:36,596
If you were quitting, you'd have known
that last week when your snot was still
pale goldenrod. You're getting fired.
114
00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:40,938
I just don't like being told what to do.
115
00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:47,580
I can get you in
for a full body scan later this week.
116
00:08:47,656 --> 00:08:50,148
Thanks.
117
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:55,664
It's got to be viral.
We should start running gels and titers.
118

00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:59,831

Maybe we should look into
the girlfriend's theory.
She thinks she rode him to death.
119
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:03,275
[Chuckles]
What'd you tell her?
120
00:09:03,345 --> 00:09:05,814
I told her 22-year-old men
don't die of sex.
121
00:09:05,882 --> 00:09:07,975
- What'd you ask her?
- What do you mean?
122
00:09:08,052 --> 00:09:11,045
I mean, I hope you got some specifics
on exactly what was going on.
123
00:09:11,123 --> 00:09:14,958
If the girl thinks it could kill you,
it's worth knowing about.
124
00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:20,492
Have you ever taken a life?
125
00:09:30,084 --> 00:09:32,018
We should stop the antibiotics.
126
00:09:32,087 --> 00:09:34,021
It's too soon to say
they're not having an effect.
127
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:36,183
They're having an effect.
128
00:09:37,729 --> 00:09:41,359
His B.P. 's falling fast.
There's fluid filling his lungs.
129
00:09:41,434 --> 00:09:43,699
His creatinine is rising.
130
00:09:49,713 --> 00:09:51,704
His kidneys are shutting down.

131
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:57,417
Our treatment isn't making him better.
It's killing him.
132
00:10:00,662 --> 00:10:05,829
So, we had six symptoms that didn't
add up to anything. Now we got seven.
Who's excited?
133
00:10:05,902 --> 00:10:09,566
I don't think it complicates things.
The kidney failure was caused by
the antibiotics.
134
00:10:09,641 --> 00:10:14,307
- Maybe.
- Typically, low blood pressure
and abdominal pain means an infection.
135
00:10:14,382 --> 00:10:17,284
An abdominal infection causes sepsis,
low blood pressure.
136
00:10:17,353 --> 00:10:20,289
Except we checked for
abdominal infections.
137
00:10:20,357 --> 00:10:24,351
But what if it's the other way around?
What if the low blood pressure's
causing the abdominal pain?
138
00:10:24,430 --> 00:10:28,926
Viral heart infection.
The intestines aren't getting
enough blood, and the result is belly pain.
139
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:32,963
- I know it's not
the standard presentation.
- It's a 10 million-to-1 shot.
140
00:10:33,043 --> 00:10:35,706
I thought that's what we dealt with here.
141
00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:41,448
It explains the cardiomyopathy, the pain,
the low B.P., the fever.

142
00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:47,623
You read the book.
Impressive.
143
00:10:47,697 --> 00:10:53,194
It's a ludicrously long shot that
explains every one of those symptomsexcept for the cough and the rash.
144
00:10:53,272 --> 00:10:56,936
Should we just erase those?
Well, anything can cause a rash.
145
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:02,048
Okay. Cardiac infection.
146
00:11:03,554 --> 00:11:06,490
- Cameron, you thought allergy.
- Mm-hmm.
147
00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:10,957
Chase, what was it you thought?
Carcinoid?
148
00:11:11,031 --> 00:11:13,796
Then there's hypothyroidism.
149
00:11:13,869 --> 00:11:17,670
Could be parasites.
150
00:11:20,579 --> 00:11:22,513
Finally, sinus infection.
151
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:26,212
If you're gonna list
all the things it can't be,
you're gonna need more colors.
152
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:30,621
Cameron was right.
No condition explains all these symptoms.
153
00:11:31,795 --> 00:11:36,928
- But orange and green covers everything.
- Orange and green?
154
00:11:37,002 --> 00:11:40,029

Two conditions contracted simultaneously?

155
00:11:40,107 --> 00:11:43,373
Occam's Razor.
The simplest explanation
is always the best.
156
00:11:43,445 --> 00:11:46,415
- And you think one is simpler than two?
- Pretty sure it is, yeah.
157
00:11:48,418 --> 00:11:53,414
Baby shows up. Chase tells you that
two people exchanged fluids
to create this being.
158
00:11:53,493 --> 00:11:58,091
I tell you that one stork
dropped the little tyke off in a diaper.
Are you gonna go with the two or the one?
159
00:11:58,167 --> 00:12:00,796
- I think your argument is specious.
- I think your tie is ugly.
160
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:05,935
Why is one simpler than two?
It's lower, lonelier. Is it simpler?
161
00:12:06,011 --> 00:12:09,106
Each one of these conditions
is about a thousand-to-one shot.
162
00:12:09,183 --> 00:12:12,847
That means that any two of them
happening at the same time
is a million-to-one shot.
163
00:12:12,922 --> 00:12:15,756
Chase says the cardiac infection
is a 10 million-to-1 shot,
164
00:12:15,825 --> 00:12:18,420
which makes my idea
10 times better than yours.
165
00:12:18,496 --> 00:12:21,295
Get a calculator. Run the numbers.

166
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,890
We'll run the tests.
Tests take time.
167
00:12:22,969 --> 00:12:26,804
Treatment's quicker.
Start the kid on Unasyn
for the sinus infection,
168
00:12:26,875 --> 00:12:31,507
and... what was orange?
[Cameron]
Hypothyroidism.
169
00:12:31,582 --> 00:12:35,747
My uncle has hypothyroidism.
Not like this.
170
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:39,451
Intravenous Levothyroxin
is an artificial thyroid medication
that should take care of it.
171
00:12:39,527 --> 00:12:43,020
Also, the nurses are going to
start you on Unasyn.
It's a more targeted antibiotic.
172
00:12:43,098 --> 00:12:44,759
For the sinus infection?
Yes.
173
00:12:44,834 --> 00:12:48,498
- The other stuff is
for something else entirely.
- Bad luck, huh?
174
00:12:48,573 --> 00:12:52,305
Don't worry. He should be
back to ditching work in no time.
175
00:12:52,379 --> 00:12:54,780
Brandon?
176
00:12:57,620 --> 00:13:01,955
Hey, Mom.
[Coughs]
177

00:13:02,026 --> 00:13:03,789

We're his parents.
How's he doing?
178
00:13:03,862 --> 00:13:06,354
Um, Brandon is179
00:13:06,432 --> 00:13:11,064
Uh, Mom. Dad-[Clears Throat]
This is Mindy.
180
00:13:12,241 --> 00:13:17,374
I was gonna bring her home for Christmas.
Um, we're engaged.
181
00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:30,927
[Woman On P.A.]
Dr. Hall to the recovery room.
Dr. Hall182
00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:32,662
Did you tell the family House's theory?
183
00:13:32,737 --> 00:13:36,731
Two odd conditions striking
completely coincidentally
at the exact same time?
184
00:13:36,810 --> 00:13:39,803
I didn't phrase it
quite that way.
They agree to treatment?
185
00:13:39,881 --> 00:13:43,215
Of course they did. We're doctors.
They believe whatever we tell them.
186
00:13:43,286 --> 00:13:45,949
So, is that our job?
House's puppets?
187
00:13:46,023 --> 00:13:48,857
He comes up with an insane idea,
we get to pretend it's not?
188
00:13:48,927 --> 00:13:52,091
His insane ideas are usually right.
We've been here long enough to-

189
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:54,327
We've been here long enough
to have Stockholm syndrome.
[Laughs]
190
00:13:54,402 --> 00:13:59,068
What, because we don't hate him?
He thinks outside the box.
Is that so evil?
191
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,805
He has no idea where the box is.
192
00:14:01,879 --> 00:14:06,545
If you guys think he's right, go home.
Relax. Just wait for
the kid to get all better.
193
00:14:06,619 --> 00:14:09,453
I'm going to the lab
to test for viral infections.
194
00:14:13,464 --> 00:14:15,398
[Groans]
195
00:14:20,173 --> 00:14:22,972
Negative for Coxsackie "B" virus.
196
00:14:23,044 --> 00:14:25,707
Seven down, about 5,000 to go.
197
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:30,082
You really think we're gonna
come up with your mystery virus just by
running gels till we guess it right?
198
00:14:32,057 --> 00:14:35,653
No. I think we're gonna do it
by standing around
watching other people work.
199
00:14:35,729 --> 00:14:39,496
I'm waiting for
the Epstein-Barr virus.
200
00:14:43,073 --> 00:14:45,304
- She's weird, isn't she?
- Bad idea.

201
00:14:45,376 --> 00:14:48,710
- What?
- Bad idea. You work with her.
202
00:14:48,782 --> 00:14:50,716
What did I say?
203
00:14:50,785 --> 00:14:56,453
Is weird some new
ghetto euphemism for sexy,
like bad is good and phat is good?
204
00:14:56,526 --> 00:14:59,052
- Then what the hell does "good" mean?
- "Ghetto euphemism"?
205
00:14:59,129 --> 00:15:02,361
- [Scoffs]
- You don't think she's hot?
206
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,232
No.
207
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:08,766
Wow. Then you're brilliant.
And I am using "brilliant" as a euphemism.
208
00:15:08,844 --> 00:15:12,178
Obviously, the girl is hot.
Y-You're not talking about her aesthetics.
209
00:15:12,248 --> 00:15:14,683
You're talking about
if I want to jump her. I don't.
210
00:15:14,753 --> 00:15:16,812
Brilliant.
211
00:15:20,761 --> 00:15:23,663
- [Machine Beeps]
- Your Epstein-Barr is ready.
212
00:15:29,307 --> 00:15:31,640
What are you doing?
Level four.
213

00:15:31,710 --> 00:15:35,272

No, no. I meanI know what you meant.
We're waiting.
214
00:15:35,349 --> 00:15:38,717
My throat hurts.
So you said.
215
00:15:38,788 --> 00:15:43,284
How long are we waiting?
Two minutes less than when
you asked me two minutes ago.
216
00:15:45,197 --> 00:15:51,035
- Hi.
- Hi. I'm Dr. Cuddy.
Nice to meet you.
217
00:15:51,105 --> 00:15:55,771
Dr. Cuddy, thanks for the consult.
His throat seems to have some condition.
218
00:15:58,650 --> 00:16:01,916
Say "Ah."
Ah. [Mumbles]
219
00:16:03,423 --> 00:16:05,050
He has a sore throat.
220
00:16:06,895 --> 00:16:10,059
Of course. Yes, why didn't l221
00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:14,070
I mean, because he said that
it hurt, and I should have deduced
that meant it was sore.
222
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,631
I was in a board meeting.
Patients come first, right?
223
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,372
Wouldn't want to prescribe a lozenge
if there's any doubt about
its efficacy, huh?
224
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:23,611
You once asked me

why I think I'm always right,

and I realized that you're right.
225
00:16:23,686 --> 00:16:26,815
At least, I think you're right.
I don't really know, now do I?
226
00:16:28,059 --> 00:16:32,394
- Hey. I'm here.
- Go home. Drink some hot tea.
227
00:16:37,239 --> 00:16:39,435
[Exhales]
Excellent counsel.
228
00:16:39,509 --> 00:16:42,843
Negative on parvovirus B-19.
229
00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:46,078
I'm impressed.
Thank you.
I was born to run gels.
230
00:16:46,152 --> 00:16:49,281
I meant about Chase.
What about Chase?
231
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:53,019
Well, the man has no
physical interest in you.
232
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:58,593
He has a completely professional
relationship with you, respects you
as a colleague and a doctor.
233
00:16:58,670 --> 00:17:02,664
And yet, he can't look at you
without thinking sex.
234
00:17:02,743 --> 00:17:04,677
Because I asked
what kind of sex could kill you?
235
00:17:04,746 --> 00:17:08,376
You now have total control
over your relationship with him.
236

00:17:08,452 --> 00:17:12,787

So, a woman can't express
her interest in sex without it
being some professional power play?
237
00:17:12,858 --> 00:17:16,693
No. If you look the way you do
and you say what you said,
238
00:17:16,763 --> 00:17:19,665
you have to be aware of the effect
that it's going to have on men.
239
00:17:19,735 --> 00:17:23,069
- Men should grow up.
- Yeah, and dogs should stop
licking themselves.
240
00:17:23,139 --> 00:17:24,731
It's not gonna happen.
What's going on?
241
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,737
- Yeah, what are you doing here?
- Looking for you guys.
242
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,907
- Why didn't you page us?
- 'Cause I knew you'd be here.
243
00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:33,077
Who told him?
No one.
244
00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:37,752
I assume you're trying to prove
my crazy, two-illness theory wrong,
so, obviously, you're gonna be in the lab.
245
00:17:37,827 --> 00:17:39,852
- You spin the urine?
- Not yet.
246
00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:42,456
Talk to me when you have.
247
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:54,107
What'd you find out?
Kidney failure.

It's acute interstitial nephritis.

248
00:17:55,186 --> 00:18:00,421
- I wonder if that's significant.
- It means the antibiotics
didn't cause the kidney failure.
249
00:18:00,493 --> 00:18:02,427
How'd you know?
250
00:18:02,496 --> 00:18:05,955
If you guys hadn't been so busy
trying to prove me wrong,
you might've checked in on the poor kid.
251
00:18:06,035 --> 00:18:08,334
You visited a patient?
252
00:18:08,405 --> 00:18:12,467
I was sitting by his bed all morning, just
so he'd know someone was there for him.
253
00:18:12,545 --> 00:18:14,342
I looked in on him.
He's much better.
254
00:18:14,414 --> 00:18:17,350
Ergo, the treatment's working.
Ergo, me right, you wrong.
255
00:18:17,418 --> 00:18:19,785
Hey, I'm glad for the kid.
256
00:18:23,427 --> 00:18:26,761
That smugness of yours
really is an attractive quality.
Thank you.
257
00:18:26,832 --> 00:18:31,167
It was either that
or get my hair highlighted.
Smugness is easier to maintain.
258
00:18:31,238 --> 00:18:34,231
I get that you're not
a big believer in the
"catching flies with honey" approach,
259

00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:37,803

but do you honestly think
you'll collect a jarful
by cleverly taunting them?
260
00:18:37,881 --> 00:18:40,715
Flies, no. Doctors, sure.
If I'd said to Foreman,
261
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:44,314
"Nice try. Great guess,
but sorry, not this time,"
what do you think he'd be doing right now?
262
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:48,725
I think he'd go home
not feeling like a piece of crap.
Exactly.
263
00:18:48,797 --> 00:18:52,461
You want him to
feel like a piece of crap?
No. I don't want him going home.
264
00:18:56,142 --> 00:18:59,306
Dr. Foreman.
[Coughs]
265
00:18:59,379 --> 00:19:02,713
Still have the cough.
I'm feeling a lot better though.
266
00:19:02,785 --> 00:19:05,949
His fever is gone.
His rash is going away. [Chuckles]
267
00:19:06,022 --> 00:19:10,016
I see.
Is everything okay?
268
00:19:10,095 --> 00:19:13,930
Just ordering some tests.
Absolutely nothing to worry about.
269
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:30,056
[Game Beeping]
270
00:19:30,124 --> 00:19:35,928
- How much longer?

- 9:30. I figure she was on

the eighth hole when I paged her.
271
00:19:40,105 --> 00:19:42,438
You probably got another half hour.
272
00:19:47,349 --> 00:19:53,256
I ran a T.S.H., T3 and T4.
The patient's negative for hypothyroidism.
I'm not talking about you.
273
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:57,353
The fact that he's getting better would
indicate the unreliability of the tests.
274
00:19:57,431 --> 00:20:00,424
If I'm right and it's a viral infection,
one of two things always happen:
275
00:20:00,501 --> 00:20:03,994
The patient dies,
or the patient's immune system
fights off the invader.
276
00:20:04,074 --> 00:20:05,974
What's with her?
277
00:20:06,043 --> 00:20:10,037
Her leg hurts after running six miles.
Who knows? Could be anything.
278
00:20:10,116 --> 00:20:13,177
He's getting better.
That doesn't prove you're right.
That just proves he's getting better.
279
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:18,151
It-It's not two illnesses.
It can't be two illnesses.
280
00:20:18,227 --> 00:20:21,095
I am so glad you work here.
281
00:20:21,165 --> 00:20:24,829
[Exhales] If I'm right,
the antibiotics you prescribed...
282
00:20:24,904 --> 00:20:28,068

could box his kidneys and liver,

impeding his ability
to fight off the virus.
283
00:20:28,142 --> 00:20:33,309
- It could kill him.
- Well, that certainly would be a concern.
284
00:20:33,383 --> 00:20:35,112
Fifty bucks?
285
00:20:35,185 --> 00:20:37,882
Don't look away.
The space monkeys
will be all over you.
286
00:20:37,956 --> 00:20:40,551
- You wanna bet on the patient's health?
- You think that's bad luck?
287
00:20:40,627 --> 00:20:45,259
You think that God will smite him
because of our insensitivity?
288
00:20:45,334 --> 00:20:47,735
Well, if God does,
you make a quick 50.
289
00:20:47,804 --> 00:20:50,399
- [Scoffs]
- [Beeps]
290
00:20:50,474 --> 00:20:54,468
- Oh.
- Go check his white blood count.
291
00:20:54,547 --> 00:20:57,711
If he's fighting off a virus
like you think, it'll be way up.
292
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:07,759
Hey. Cuddy said you needed a consult.
What's up? I'm busy.
293
00:21:16,612 --> 00:21:18,705
Oh!
294
00:21:24,391 --> 00:21:27,384

- I was just being glib.

- You haven't said anything.
295
00:21:27,462 --> 00:21:33,266
No. Before, when I was talking about
Brandon's girlfriend thinking sex
could kill you.
296
00:21:33,337 --> 00:21:35,636
I was just making a joke
because I was uncomfortable.
297
00:21:35,707 --> 00:21:38,575
Oh, I don't even
remember what you said.
I'm uncomfortable about sex.
298
00:21:40,447 --> 00:21:45,079
- Well, we don't have to talk about this.
- Sex could kill you.
299
00:21:45,154 --> 00:21:48,249
Do you know what
the human body goes through
when you have sex?
300
00:21:48,325 --> 00:21:50,817
Pupils dilate. Arteries constrict.
301
00:21:50,896 --> 00:21:53,923
Core temperature rises, heart races,
blood pressure skyrockets.
302
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,300
Respiration becomes rapid and shallow.
303
00:21:57,372 --> 00:22:00,706
The brain fires bursts of
electrical impulses
from nowhere to nowhere.
304
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:02,574
Secretions spit out of every gland,
305
00:22:02,646 --> 00:22:06,811
and the muscles tense
and spasm like you're lifting
three times your body weight.

306
00:22:06,886 --> 00:22:11,552
It's violent, it's ugly,
and it's messy.
307
00:22:11,626 --> 00:22:17,464
And if God hadn't made it
unbelievably fun, the human race
would've died out eons ago.
308
00:22:20,539 --> 00:22:23,031
Men are lucky
they can only have one orgasm.
309
00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:27,137
You know that women
can have an hour-long orgasm?
310
00:22:27,215 --> 00:22:29,206
Hey, Foreman. What's up?
311
00:22:29,285 --> 00:22:31,516
- Hey, Foreman.
- Hey.
312
00:22:32,523 --> 00:22:37,758
- White cell count isn't up, is it?
- No. We were both wrong.
313
00:22:37,831 --> 00:22:40,995
White cell count is downway down-and dropping.
314
00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:44,562
His immune system is shot.
We need to get him into a clean room.
315
00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:53,576
[Chase]
Can you walk, Brandon?
316
00:22:53,653 --> 00:22:55,644
Yeah. A little.
317
00:22:55,723 --> 00:23:00,185
Okay. 'Cause we'll need to
leave the chair outside. Thank you.
318

00:23:00,263 --> 00:23:02,892

Where's April? April?
319
00:23:02,968 --> 00:23:07,805
Can you take that chair, please?
Thank you.
Yes, Robert.
320
00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:11,209
I'll need to take your, umyour mask and your robe too.
321
00:23:18,089 --> 00:23:22,687
You might wanna block your ears
for this, it's quite loud.
322
00:23:26,134 --> 00:23:29,263
[Loud Hissing]
323
00:23:33,278 --> 00:23:35,439
Something's made him
immuno-compromised.
324
00:23:35,514 --> 00:23:40,010
His white blood cell count is down,
which means his body
can't fight off infections.
325
00:23:40,088 --> 00:23:44,423
If he gets sick, he'll die.
Sick? How sick?
326
00:23:44,495 --> 00:23:47,158
Lfhe gets a cold, he'll die.
327
00:23:54,976 --> 00:23:57,377
[Coughing]
328
00:23:57,446 --> 00:24:03,284
Okay. I'm gonna push the needle
into your hip bone
and take some of the marrow.
329
00:24:05,792 --> 00:24:07,726
That's not so bad.
330
00:24:07,795 --> 00:24:12,234
Uh-uh. That was just the anesthetic.

[Instrument Clatters On Table]

331
00:24:12,301 --> 00:24:16,967
The core biopsy needle,
it's a bit bigger.
332
00:24:17,041 --> 00:24:22,208
Hey, man. Take a deep breath.
This-This is gonna hurt... a lot.
333
00:24:25,053 --> 00:24:27,682
[Gasping]
334
00:24:27,757 --> 00:24:31,091
Your marrow makes the blood cells.
335
00:24:32,932 --> 00:24:35,299
We take a peek at it
under a microscope,
336
00:24:35,369 --> 00:24:39,363
and maybe we find a viral infection.
337
00:24:39,441 --> 00:24:41,466
Maybe we find some fibrosis.
338
00:24:41,544 --> 00:24:45,538
Something to explain why
your blood count is so low.
339
00:24:46,551 --> 00:24:48,485
There we go.
340
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:52,220
One step closer to an answer.
341
00:24:52,294 --> 00:24:55,287
[Shaky Breath]
If you don't find one,
342
00:24:57,167 --> 00:24:59,728
I can't stay here forever.
343
00:25:01,540 --> 00:25:06,570
[Panting]
344

00:25:08,083 --> 00:25:11,110

- [House] The patient could've died.
- The one with the pulled muscle?
345
00:25:11,187 --> 00:25:16,024
Those symptoms are consistent
with a dozen other conditions.
346
00:25:16,094 --> 00:25:18,996
- [Stammers]
I'm entitled to a consult.
- You are not getting out of clinic duty.
347
00:25:19,066 --> 00:25:23,698
Come on. You got a hundred other
idiot doctors in this building who go...
348
00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:27,470
all warm and fuzzy every time
they pull a toy car out of a noseyou don't need me here.
349
00:25:27,545 --> 00:25:30,709
No, I don't. But working with people
actually makes you a better doctor.
350
00:25:30,782 --> 00:25:33,877
When did I sign up for that course?
When did I give you
the impression that I care?
351
00:25:35,222 --> 00:25:38,886
Working in this clinic obviously instills
a deep sense of compassion.
352
00:25:38,961 --> 00:25:43,457
I've got your home number, right?
In case anything comes up at 3:00
in the morning.
353
00:25:43,534 --> 00:25:46,163
It's not gonna work.
You know why?
354
00:25:46,238 --> 00:25:48,730
Because this is fun.
355
00:25:48,808 --> 00:25:52,711
You think of something to make

me miserable. I think of something

to make you miserable356
00:25:52,781 --> 00:25:57,447
It's a game, and I'm gonna win
because I got a head start.
You are already miserable.
357
00:26:01,427 --> 00:26:03,327
UhIs this important?
358
00:26:03,397 --> 00:26:05,331
Uh, no.
Good.
359
00:26:07,336 --> 00:26:09,270
What's with you and her?
Don't.
360
00:26:09,339 --> 00:26:11,500
You have a thing for her?
The only people who can get to you361
00:26:11,575 --> 00:26:13,736
No. There is not a thin line
between love and hate.
362
00:26:13,812 --> 00:26:18,979
There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China,
with armed sentries posted every 20 feet
between love and hate.
363
00:26:19,052 --> 00:26:21,385
Thirty-six Vicodin.
Who's the patient?
364
00:26:21,456 --> 00:26:23,287
I am.
You can't365
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,851
Dr. Wilson is
the prescribing physician.
Yeah.
366
00:26:25,929 --> 00:26:30,094
You will lie, cheat and steal
to get what you want, but you're

incapable of kissing a little ass?

367
00:26:30,169 --> 00:26:32,103
[Pills Rattle]
We all have our limitations.
368
00:26:32,172 --> 00:26:36,405
House?
Wrong bottle. Do me a favor.
369
00:26:36,478 --> 00:26:41,474
Take one of these,
wait five minutes for it to kick in,
then find Cuddy and kiss her ass.
370
00:26:43,154 --> 00:26:46,147
What was the kid's first symptom?
371
00:26:46,226 --> 00:26:49,719
You did the history.
Of his 800 symptoms,
which one hit him first?
372
00:26:49,797 --> 00:26:51,731
Uh, the cough.
373
00:27:49,317 --> 00:27:53,652
[Coughing]
374
00:28:05,341 --> 00:28:08,334
[Erratic Breathing]
375
00:28:18,527 --> 00:28:20,461
Gout.
376
00:28:26,304 --> 00:28:28,933
Um, are we talking about Brandon?
Gout?
377
00:28:29,009 --> 00:28:30,943
Uric acid crystals in the joints?
378
00:28:31,011 --> 00:28:36,883
The symptoms are pain,
swelling, redness, stiffness.
Not one of which do I see on that board.
379

00:28:36,953 --> 00:28:39,252

Because he doesn't have gout.
[Makes Popping Sound]
380
00:28:41,593 --> 00:28:43,926
Every day, cells die.
381
00:28:46,935 --> 00:28:50,394
We survive because the remaining cells
divide and replace the losses.
382
00:28:51,908 --> 00:28:57,576
The colchicine, a gout medicine,
blocks mitosis and stops cell division,
383
00:28:58,752 --> 00:29:02,154
which will result in
abdominal pain, rash,
384
00:29:02,224 --> 00:29:06,890
nausea, fever, kidney failure,
low blood pressure...
385
00:29:06,964 --> 00:29:08,989
and will also mess with the bone marrow.
386
00:29:09,067 --> 00:29:11,228
But he doesn't have gout.
Why would he have gout medication?
387
00:29:11,303 --> 00:29:14,762
Because you guys were right.
He didn't have two conditions
at the exact same time.
388
00:29:14,842 --> 00:29:18,301
First, he got a cough.
And because he's an idiot,
he went to a doctor.
389
00:29:18,380 --> 00:29:22,340
In order to justify charging $200,
that doctor felt
he should actually do something.
390
00:29:22,420 --> 00:29:25,083
Oops. He wrote a prescription.
391

00:29:25,157 --> 00:29:28,992

Seven thousand people die each year
from pharmacy screwups.
392
00:29:29,063 --> 00:29:30,997
Not nearly as many as die
from doctor screwups,
393
00:29:31,066 --> 00:29:33,695
but still, not something
they use in their promotional materials.
394
00:29:33,769 --> 00:29:37,262
The pharmacist gave him
gout medicine instead of cough medicine.
395
00:29:37,341 --> 00:29:39,502
And the only thing it wouldn't do,
396
00:29:39,578 --> 00:29:43,572
it would do absolutely nothing
to relieve his cough.
397
00:29:43,651 --> 00:29:45,676
Occam's Razor398
00:29:45,754 --> 00:29:49,555
the simplest explanation is
almost always that somebody screwed up.
399
00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:53,619
But once he checked into this hospital,
he was completely in our control.
400
00:29:53,698 --> 00:29:55,859
Our food, our pills, our everything.
401
00:29:55,935 --> 00:29:58,598
So even if you're right,
no more gout medication.
402
00:29:58,673 --> 00:30:01,666
He'd either continue to deteriorate,
or he would've gotten better.
403
00:30:01,744 --> 00:30:04,578
But he got better,
and then he got worse.

404
00:30:04,647 --> 00:30:07,116
It doesn't fit.
It doesn't make sense.
405
00:30:07,184 --> 00:30:10,177
Okay. Two people screwed up.
406
00:30:10,256 --> 00:30:12,782
Not as simple as one, but407
00:30:22,306 --> 00:30:24,969
He's resting. He'sI'm Dr. House.
408
00:30:25,044 --> 00:30:29,038
I'm your son's physician.
Oh. You're the one
we haven't met yet.
409
00:30:29,116 --> 00:30:33,521
You're the one he hasn't met.
How can you treat someone
without meeting them?
410
00:30:33,589 --> 00:30:36,753
It's easy if you don't
give a crap about him.
411
00:30:36,828 --> 00:30:39,320
That's a good thing.
412
00:30:39,398 --> 00:30:43,803
If emotions made you act rationally, well,
they wouldn't be called emotions, right?
413
00:30:43,871 --> 00:30:47,706
That's why we have
this nice division of labor.
You hold his hand, I get him better.
414
00:30:47,777 --> 00:30:50,440
If I start tucking him in at night,
well, that's not fair to you guys.
415
00:30:50,514 --> 00:30:52,949
And if you start prescribing medicine,
well, that's not fair to me.

416
00:30:53,018 --> 00:30:56,750
So, what I wanna know is,
who stepped on my side of the net?
417
00:30:56,824 --> 00:31:01,695
Who cared enough
to get stupid enough
to give him his cough medicine?
418
00:31:01,764 --> 00:31:03,698
When we checked in, Dr. Foreman419
00:31:03,767 --> 00:31:07,761
Tuesday, he's getting better.
Wednesday, he's getting sick again.
420
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:11,538
Somebody gave him
his cough medicine Wednesday.
421
00:31:15,451 --> 00:31:18,444
Come on. Nobody's gonna be mad.
422
00:31:18,522 --> 00:31:22,015
I just wanna know
who tried to kill the kid.
423
00:31:26,534 --> 00:31:30,494
- Dr. House, maybe we should- His throat was sore.
424
00:31:33,510 --> 00:31:36,844
Page Dr. Occam.
He's gonna wanna hear about this.
I'm sorry.
425
00:31:36,915 --> 00:31:41,080
He was coughing,
and I just wanted to help himAren't you a dear.
426
00:31:41,154 --> 00:31:45,023
Where are the pills?
He took the last of'em before
he was switched into that room.
427
00:31:45,094 --> 00:31:46,755

They're all gone?

It was just cough medicine.
428
00:31:46,830 --> 00:31:49,459
No, it wasn't.
Where's the bottle?
429
00:31:57,812 --> 00:32:00,509
We need to know
exactly what you put in this bottle.
430
00:32:00,583 --> 00:32:02,517
We think it was colchicine,
a gout medication.
431
00:32:02,586 --> 00:32:05,579
If the prescription said cough medicine,
that's what I dispensed.
432
00:32:05,658 --> 00:32:07,819
The family is prepared
to waive liability, all right?
433
00:32:07,894 --> 00:32:12,059
We just need to know what it was,
what dosage it wasIt was cough medicine.
434
00:32:12,134 --> 00:32:14,626
Refill it.
435
00:32:16,573 --> 00:32:20,408
He's gonna be okay.
You don't know that.
436
00:32:22,315 --> 00:32:25,808
Does Brandon like
that quality in you?
437
00:32:25,887 --> 00:32:28,048
You're a little negative.
438
00:32:29,893
Things don't
work out for
Doesn't hurt

--> 00:32:34,263
always
the best.
to hope they do.

439
00:32:34,333 --> 00:32:39,170

No. Not unless that makes you figure

you can do whatever you want,
like give people cough medicine.
440
00:32:40,608 --> 00:32:45,070
This is cough medication.
This is what Brandon
was supposed to get.
441
00:32:45,148 --> 00:32:47,845
They're small, round and yellow.
442
00:32:47,919 --> 00:32:52,254
Can you tell this man what
the pills in your son's medicine bottle
actually looked like?
443
00:32:54,595 --> 00:32:57,190
They were small, round and yellow,
exactly like this.
444
00:32:57,265 --> 00:32:59,426
Those were the pills
that Brandon was taking.
445
00:32:59,502 --> 00:33:04,601
Hey, I'm just a pharmacist,
but I know what
cough medicine looks like, Doctor.
446
00:33:08,782 --> 00:33:12,116
[House]
It was so perfect.
It was beautiful.
447
00:33:12,187 --> 00:33:15,351
Beauty often seduces us
on the road to truth.
448
00:33:17,028 --> 00:33:19,862
And triteness kicks us in the nads.
449
00:33:19,932 --> 00:33:23,096
So true.
This doesn't bother you?
450
00:33:23,170 --> 00:33:26,504
That you were wrong?
I try to work through the pain.

451
00:33:26,575 --> 00:33:31,571
I was not wrong.
Everything I said was true.
It fit. It was elegant.
452
00:33:31,649 --> 00:33:37,317
- So, reality was wrong?
- [Sighs] Reality's almost always wrong.
453
00:33:43,332 --> 00:33:46,496
The cough medicine did something.
454
00:33:46,571 --> 00:33:49,268
[Exhales]
Aggravated the condition.
455
00:33:50,409 --> 00:33:52,400
It's all over the place.
Must be in his blood.
456
00:33:52,479 --> 00:33:55,210
- What if it is his blood?
- Lymphoma?
457
00:33:55,284 --> 00:33:57,617
Unless you've got something better.
458
00:33:57,687 --> 00:34:01,180
We foolishly ruled out lymphoma because
his C.T. Scan showed no adenopathy,
459
00:34:01,258 --> 00:34:05,959
C.B.C. Showed a normal differen-smear,
bone marrow showed noScrew the tests.
460
00:34:06,033 --> 00:34:08,935
Do an exploratory laparotomy
and find out what's in there.
461
00:34:09,003 --> 00:34:13,704
He has no blood pressure,
no immune system and no kidneys.
Surgery will kill him.
462
00:34:13,777 --> 00:34:17,805
Yeah, you're right.

Let's stick with the wrong pill theory.

463
00:34:21,822 --> 00:34:25,156
I'll schedule him for surgery.
464
00:34:29,166 --> 00:34:32,330
[Foreman]
Okay, Brandon, we're running this tube
through your heart...
465
00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:35,499
and into the pulmonary arteries
in your lungs.
466
00:34:35,575 --> 00:34:39,012
[Cameron] The sensors will give us
information we need for the exploratory
surgery later this afternoon.
467
00:34:43,554 --> 00:34:46,388
- My fingers are numb.
- Try not to move.
468
00:34:46,458 --> 00:34:51,727
We're in the right atrium,
trying to catch the flow
through the tricuspid valve.
469
00:34:51,798 --> 00:34:54,495
[Chase]
I think the catheter's curling
in the atrium.
470
00:34:54,570 --> 00:34:59,032
Got it. We're in the R.V. Now.
471
00:34:59,110 --> 00:35:01,739
[Beeps]
Ectopy.
472
00:35:01,813 --> 00:35:05,215
- You must've irritated the heart wall.
- It'll calm down.
473
00:35:05,286 --> 00:35:08,120
- He can't tolerate any cardiac arrhythmia.
Pull back.
- He needs the surgery.

474
00:35:12,596 --> 00:35:16,431
[Monitor Beeping Rapidly]
475
00:35:18,838 --> 00:35:23,334
- [High-pitched Tone]
- Pressure's dropped.
476
00:35:23,412 --> 00:35:25,973
- You still with us, Brandon?
- Get the curtains.
477
00:35:26,049 --> 00:35:28,644
V.F.
478
00:35:30,488 --> 00:35:33,652
[Sustained Beep]
479
00:35:33,727 --> 00:35:36,959
[Crying]
480
00:35:37,031 --> 00:35:41,332
[Chase]
Charging. Clear.
481
00:35:44,175 --> 00:35:47,839
- [Rhythmic Beeping]
- [Exhales] Sinus rhythm.
482
00:35:49,383 --> 00:35:51,579
I got a pulse.
483
00:35:51,653 --> 00:35:53,952
[Sighs]
484
00:35:54,023 --> 00:35:56,822
Yeah, but no surgery today.
485
00:36:03,503 --> 00:36:07,031
- How're you doing?
- Okay.
486
00:36:07,109 --> 00:36:09,442
Great. I'm doing good too.
487
00:36:09,512 --> 00:36:12,846
I get to knock off an hour early today.

You know why?

488
00:36:12,917 --> 00:36:16,684
Because I kissed my boss's ass.
Do you ever do that?
489
00:36:16,756 --> 00:36:19,419
I think she just said yes 'cause
she wants to reinforce that behavior.
490
00:36:19,494 --> 00:36:23,158
Wants me to kiss a lot of
other people's ass,
like she wants me to kiss yours.
491
00:36:23,232 --> 00:36:27,397
What would you want?
A doctor who holds your hand
while you die,
492
00:36:27,471 --> 00:36:29,906
or a doctor who ignores you
while you get better?
493
00:36:29,975 --> 00:36:33,912
I guess it would particularly suck
to have a doctor
who ignores you while you die.
494
00:36:35,250 --> 00:36:37,913
- I should go.
- You think it's gonna come out on its own?
495
00:36:42,927 --> 00:36:46,659
Are we talking
bigger than a breadbasket?
496
00:36:46,733 --> 00:36:49,601
Because, actually,
it will come out on its own.
497
00:36:49,670 --> 00:36:54,666
Which for small stuff is no problem.
It's wrapped up in a nice,
soft package, and plop.
498
00:36:54,745 --> 00:36:56,576
Big stuff, you're gonna rip something,

499
00:36:56,648 --> 00:36:59,345
which, speaking medically,
is when the fun stops.
How did you500
00:36:59,418 --> 00:37:03,446
You've been here half an hour,
you haven't sat down.
That tells me its location.
501
00:37:03,524 --> 00:37:06,688
You haven't told me what it is.
That tells me it's humiliating.
502
00:37:06,762 --> 00:37:10,631
You have a little birdie carved on
your arm. That tells me you have
a high tolerance for humiliation.
503
00:37:10,701 --> 00:37:14,069
So I figure it's not hemorrhoids.
504
00:37:17,378 --> 00:37:19,711
I've been a doctor 20 years.
You're not gonna surprise me.
505
00:37:21,650 --> 00:37:24,984
[Exhales]
It's an MP3 player.
506
00:37:30,930 --> 00:37:33,091
Mm.
507
00:37:33,167 --> 00:37:39,005
Is it- Is it because of the size,
or the shape,
508
00:37:39,076 --> 00:37:41,807
or is it the pounding bass line?
509
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,577
What are we gonna do?
510
00:37:47,822 --> 00:37:50,257
- I'm gonna wait.
- For what?
511

00:37:52,429 --> 00:37:54,590

Okay. It's 3:00. I'm off.
512
00:37:54,665 --> 00:37:57,999
Would you tell Dr. Cuddy
there's a patient in Exam Room Two
needs her attention?
513
00:37:58,070 --> 00:38:01,234
And the R.I.A.A. Wants her to check
for illegal downloads.
514
00:38:02,510 --> 00:38:05,002
Brandon's not ready for surgery.
Okay.
515
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:09,245
Let's leave it a couple of weeks.
He should be feeling better by then.
Oh, wait. Which way does time go?
516
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,654
He crashed during prep.
He's also experiencing
pain in his fingers.
517
00:38:12,724 --> 00:38:14,715
Think some bug
may have gotten in the clean room.
518
00:38:14,794 --> 00:38:19,290
I think we should double his dosage
of G-CSF to temporarily boost
his white blood cell count.
519
00:38:19,367 --> 00:38:23,304
Pain in his fingers. Right.
520
00:38:31,419 --> 00:38:33,888
Hi again.
He can't521
00:38:33,956 --> 00:38:36,949
Where's he going?
[Hissing]
522
00:38:38,062 --> 00:38:40,223
Hey. How you all doing?

523
00:38:40,298 --> 00:38:44,760
Interesting fact. Every seven years,
it's a whole new you.
Inspiring metaphor, huh?
524
00:38:44,838 --> 00:38:48,502
Dr. House,
this is a clean room.
Yeah. I read the sign.
525
00:38:48,577 --> 00:38:53,278
But cells of different organs
reproduce at different rates.
526
00:38:53,351 --> 00:38:56,844
- [Groans]
- So, you get a new kidney
every three years.
527
00:38:56,922 --> 00:38:59,255
Get a new stomach lining every week.
528
00:38:59,326 --> 00:39:03,559
This is why colchicine poisoning
causes all these symptoms,
but not all at once.
529
00:39:03,633 --> 00:39:06,125
But we went to the pharmacy.
We saw the pills.
530
00:39:06,203 --> 00:39:09,196
Colchicine does its damage
in a very specific order.
531
00:39:09,274 --> 00:39:13,541
First of all, there's the pain in
the abdomen, the rash, the fever.
Isn't that what you got first?
532
00:39:13,613 --> 00:39:18,075
Then the kidneys go,
which is exactly what happened to533
00:39:18,153 --> 00:39:20,053
- Brandon.
- Right.
534

00:39:20,123 --> 00:39:25,153

Then it screws up your bone marrow,
and then neuropathy.
535
00:39:25,230 --> 00:39:28,758
[Brandon Groans]
A painful tingling
in the fingers and toes.
536
00:39:28,835 --> 00:39:31,396
And what do you suppose
happens after that?
[Grunts]
537
00:39:35,412 --> 00:39:39,247
Hair loss. The bad news is...
538
00:39:39,318 --> 00:39:42,755
your special boy is doing drugs.
[Mom]
No, he's not.
539
00:39:42,822 --> 00:39:45,291
Ecstasy?
No.
540
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:50,356
- Twice with Dan and Mike.
- You know what they cut that stuff with?
541
00:39:50,434 --> 00:39:54,930
Apparently, colchicine.
Unless you ingested the colchicine
through your contact lens solution,
542
00:39:55,007 --> 00:39:57,704
or skin cream
or some other drug you're lying about.
543
00:39:57,777
I don't know
I don't care
It happened.

--> 00:40:02,648
how it happened.
how it happened.
Start, uh-

544
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:06,212
- Brandon.
- Lovely name.
545
00:40:06,290 --> 00:40:10,455

Start Brandon on FAB fragments,

and get him some Tylenol
for the hair I pulled out.
546
00:40:10,529 --> 00:40:12,690
And get some air in here.
547
00:40:14,469 --> 00:40:17,132
Make a note.
I should never doubt myself.
548
00:40:17,206 --> 00:40:20,870
I think you'll remember.
You know, it wouldn't hurt you
to be wrong every now and then.
549
00:40:20,945 --> 00:40:23,312
What, you don't care about
these people?
550
00:40:23,382 --> 00:40:27,376
[Monitor Beeping]
551
00:40:27,454 --> 00:40:31,789
The colchicine interferes with
the ability of the heart muscle
to contract,
552
00:40:31,861 --> 00:40:34,695
pumping blood,
lowering your blood pressure.
553
00:40:37,035 --> 00:40:41,531
The antibodies we're giving you
should neutralize the colchicine,
554
00:40:43,210 --> 00:40:46,009
allowing your heart
to beat at its normal rate.
555
00:40:47,016 --> 00:40:50,350
When will you know?
556
00:40:50,421 --> 00:40:52,355
We know now.
557
00:40:53,693 --> 00:40:56,356
Thank God.

[Laughs]
558
00:40:56,430 --> 00:40:58,364
Mmm.
559
00:41:02,539 --> 00:41:06,032
[Exhales, Laughs]
560
00:41:18,462 --> 00:41:22,399
Big weekend?
It's not for me.
I'm fully stocked.
561
00:41:22,468 --> 00:41:26,930
- Cuddy got you doing inventory?
- Nope. Trying to solve that kid's case.
562
00:41:27,007 --> 00:41:29,670
The gout medicine O.D.?
Yeah.
563
00:41:29,745 --> 00:41:33,147
The fact that I know it's a gout
medicine O.D. Would indicate
the case is already solved.
564
00:41:33,217 --> 00:41:35,151
Well, you'd be wrong.
565
00:41:35,220 --> 00:41:40,057
What about the fact that
the kid is now- I believe
the technical term is- "not sick"?
566
00:41:40,127 --> 00:41:42,460
You know how many forms
of colchicine there are on the market?
567
00:41:42,530 --> 00:41:44,999
- Stop it.
- Neither do I. But it's a lot.
568
00:41:45,067 --> 00:41:48,265
Pills, powders, liquids, I. V. Fluids.
569
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:52,504
Somewhere at a party, in his coffee,
up his nose, in his ear, this kid had some.

570
00:41:52,578 --> 00:41:54,478
You're not happy with
your Ecstasy theory?
571
00:41:54,548 --> 00:41:56,881
- He said he used it twice.
- People lie.
572
00:41:56,951 --> 00:41:59,147
- If you're gonna lie, it's- You know what? I'm not interested.
573
00:41:59,221 --> 00:42:03,488
- Not curious?
- No. Because I'm well-adjusted.
574
00:42:03,561 --> 00:42:06,360
Right.
575
00:42:08,368 --> 00:42:11,668
Temperature's normal.
I want cousin Sharon there.
576
00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:13,971
If we invite Sharon,
we have to invite all the cousins.
577
00:42:14,043 --> 00:42:17,241
So what? My side of the family
doesn't need anything.
578
00:42:17,314 --> 00:42:21,649
[All Chuckle]
[Coughing]
579
00:42:21,720 --> 00:42:25,213
I don't suppose I could have
some of those cough pills, huh?
They're okay, right?
580
00:42:25,293 --> 00:42:27,762
- Yes. You're doing great.
- You should invite Dr. House.
581
00:42:27,830 --> 00:42:30,698
- [Brandon] Will he come?
- No. But he'll send a gift.

582
00:42:30,767 --> 00:42:33,259
[Laughs]
I'll make sure it's a good one.
583
00:42:33,337 --> 00:42:37,001
There's a letter
on the back of these pills.
584
00:42:38,078 --> 00:42:40,343
Your old pills
didn't have a letter on them?
585
00:42:40,415 --> 00:42:43,715
No. Round and yellow,
but no letter.
586
00:42:50,729 --> 00:42:53,961
Well, these will help your cough.
587
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,801
Hey, you wanna go get someNo.
588
00:44:03,769 --> 00:44:05,031
That's some bad hat, Harry.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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