Sample Essay

Sample Question
You are living in Cambridge and planning to meet a friend in London to spend the weekend. Your friend has asked
you to find out about accommodation there. Read the advertisements you found in a Bed and Breakfast Guide and
the notes you made when you phoned the hotels. Write a letter to your friend giving the information about the
hotels, say which one you prefer and why, and ask your friend to write back before you make the bookings.
Write a letter of between 120 and 180 words in an appropriate style. Do not write any postal addresses.

Macmillan Publishers 2005.

Sample Essay

Dear Ian,
Heres some information about hotels in London.
The Mount Royal B&B is an old place in central London, close to the teatres,
department stores and tourist sights. The rooms are a bit expensive - 45, but
they have en-suite bathroom, TV and we can prepare a cup of tea or coffee in the
room if we want. Theres a small restaurant in the hotel where we can have our
meals there at a good price and the bar is open till late and they have snacks and
sandwiches. They also make discounts to students and if we make an early
reservation.
The Riviera B & B is cheaper - 30, but they dont make any discounts, the
bathroom is shared and they dont have a restaurant. Theres a small bar but we
can only have drinks. Besides that, we need to take a bus to get to the city centre.
There are buses every ten minutes but only till midnight.
I think the Mount Royal is the most convenient. Its nearest the centre of the
city. Its more expensive but they make discounts. We can also have our meals
there and we dont need to spend money traveling.
What do you think? Write back and tell me so I can make a reservation.
Best wishes,
Frank

Macmillan Publishers 2005.

Assessment

Content
Q. Does the letter do everything the question asks? Are there any irrelevant points or muddled parts?
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A. The letter does everything the question asks. All major content points are included and fully developed.

Organization
Q. Is the letter arranged and paragraphed in an appropriate way?
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A. The letter is properly laid out and ideas are clearly organized. The opening paragraph, however, would
need some reference to a previous communication between the two friends. Paragraphs 2 and 3 describe one
hotel each effectively and the fourth paragraph states the writers opinion clearly.

Sentence structure and cohesion

Q. Are the sentence structures correct and interesting?
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A. There is an adequate range of structure, which fulfils the task requirements. However, linking devices are
too simple for the level and rarely used, e.g. but, and, besides that. Paragraph 4, for example, could be
rephrased as follows: I think the Mount Royal is the more convenient because its nearer the centre of the city.
Although its more expensive, they give discounts, we can have our meals there and we dont need to spend
money travelling.

Range
Q. Is there a good range of vocabulary and is it used correctly?
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A. The range of vocabulary is reasonable, with some attempt at more complex expressions like an early
reservation, at a good price, and there are no misuses of vocabulary items. There is some lifting of input
material in paragraph 2, e.g. close to the theatres, department stores and tourist sights, en-suite bathroom.

Macmillan Publishers 2005.

Accuracy
Q. Are the verbs and nouns used grammatically? Are there any points of grammar that need to be changed
and improved?
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A. Accurate use of tenses although there are some basic errors, e.g. use of superlatives instead of
comparatives, e.g. the most convenient, its nearest the city centre, a few spelling mistakes, e.g. teatres,
traveling, and some awkward expressions, e.g. They also make discounts to students and if we make an early
reservation, but they do not obscure meaning.

Appropriacy of register
Q. Is the style appropriate?
_______________________________________________________________________________________
A. The style is appropriately informal and consistent throughout. However, the use of the imperative in the
closing paragraph may sound somewhat impolite. It may be better to reformulate the sentence using a modal
or a polite expression, e.g. Could you write back and tell me what you think so that I can make a reservation?

Macmillan Publishers 2005.