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Looking Again at the Verb “To Be” and Verbs Ending in -ing:
No rule says you can’t use “to be” verbs like “are” and “were” or start a sentence with
“It is” or “There are.” Likewise, no rule says you can’t use gerunds, verbs ending with –
ing like “running." But we sometimes fall into these constructions without looking for
other options. See how many “to be” and "-ing" verbs you can eliminate—with what gain
in voice.
First version: There was a time when I believed that if it was in a book, it must be true.
Edited: I once believed all books tell the truth.
First version: He said that he’s leaving and that he’s not coming back.
Edited: He said he’s leaving and he’s not coming back.
First version: When I left, I promised to write my friends but never did. This puzzles me
now.
Edited: When I left, I promised to write my friends but never did. How quickly I cut those
ties puzzles me now.
First version: Moving very slowly, she walked across the room.
Edited: She inched across the room.
First Version (a sentence that appeared on the front page of the Boston Globe!): Cocaine
has a capable lethal potentiality.
Edited: Cocaine can kill you.
First version: When starting a sentence with a long introductory clause, it's easy leave
out the sentence's real subject.
Edited: When starting a sentence with a long introductory clause, you can easily leave
out the sentence's real subject.
"My eyes snapped open as I woke up from a comforting dream, a dream of home, where
my friends and I were enjoying a warm summer night in Vermont. We were lying under
the moonless sky as we chatted about the sweet nothings of summer, watching the
brilliance of a million lit stars, feeling smaller and smaller in this massive universe. My
heart swelled to be in such a beautiful place, to be with people I loved so much. Then,
one of my friends turned to me and started yelling, " ¿Clara? ¿ Clara? ¡Despiértate!" and
the stars seemed to coalesce into one huge ball, turning into the sun high in the sky,
glaring down on me, burning through my retinas. I was dizzy and perplexed as I came to
the conclusion that this sun was nothing other than the bright overhead light of this
unfamiliar house I had been staying in for a week."
From the standpoints of punctuation, and style, the above sentences, the opening to
Elinor Claire Goodwin's "Las Barreras of Language" are well written. But consider that
sometimes a writer may decide to depart--for a particular rhetorical purpose, voice,
effect--from traditional style. Check out--and then try out--the below examples of playing
with voice through run-on or labyrinthine sentences, fragments, repetition, and one-
sentence paragraphs.
I was dizzy and perplexed as I came to the conclusion that this sun was nothing other
than the bright overhead light of this unfamiliar house I had been staying in for a week.