G U A R A N I News

Paraguays Only English Weekly Magazine

Founded on 21 October 1982
Sent FREE through E-Mail as a Bulletin since January 2001

Published/Edited by Norman M. Langer

N 244. Friday, August 19, 2005

Our Cellular Telephone Number: for international calls
+(595-991) 724.217
for local calls 0991-724.217
CONTENTS
From the Publisher
People in the News - Coming Events Sports - Church Notices
News from France Gemplus smart cards to improve border controls /
New high-speed train line to link France, Germany
Japan Today Forests in late Autumn by Mitsuhiko Imamori
The Humour Corner by Eduardo Teddy Abello & Donald Sym Smith
A wee bit of Memorabilia
TID-BITS from around the world
All rights reserved. No part of GUARANI NEWS may be reproduced without permission from the
Publisher. Opinions expressed by named authors do not necessarily coincide with those of the
Editor. The Editor will review any submission; however no responsibility is assumed for materials
submitted. If you wish to be removed from our listing, send E-mail to stranger@highway.com.py with the
title REMOVE and accept our apologies.

From the Publisher

Quick response
Someone, with plenty of clout in our Town Hall must be an avid reader of this
humble magazine for no sooner did I complain on the appalling state of our city buses
than the Number 6 line was taken off. Now it happens that this specific line, with
atrocious buses mind you, is one of the three that pass by my dwelling so perhaps I
opened my mouth too soon since I now could only count with two lines, both with
pretty poor service.
Not on your nannyfour days later the Number 6 buses were again running,
dilapidated and in just as bad a state as before. So perhaps the gent did not have that
much clout after all, or what is more likely, the owner of said line found some higher
ups palm to grease
English reading material
What with the high cost of English reading material specifically books or what our
friends from up North like to call Pocket Books notice is hereby given that during
the next Strangers Club Luncheon Friday 26 August (not as erroneously printed as 27
in last issue) there will be available a limited quantity of books pocket-books that
can either be exchanged or rented out.
Should the effort find sufficient interest, arrangements will be undertaken with the
management of the Hotel Chaco in order to extend the service so that perhaps once a
week those in need of English reading material can come and exchange or rent what is
available. Its up to you out there to let us know what you think

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Into second place
My Paraguayan countrymen can now rest in peace regarding their being famous for
never being on time. Read on, youll soon know who has the upper hand on being
tardy
A national psyche set with an automatic two-hour snooze timer By David Atkinson
Saturday night in La Paz. Im invited to a dinner party hosted by a fellow journalist, a
correspondent for Chilean television news. The guest list includes doctors, lawyers and
writers, while the conversation topic promises frank exchanges about the movement to
nationalise Bolivias natural gas reserves and the influence of President Chavez of
Venezuela on Bolivian foreign policy. The invite says 8pm.
At 8.15pm Im at the front door with a bottle of Bolivian red for the hostess. She looks
slightly shocked and ushers me into the living room. Im the first to arrive. By 9pm, Im
still the only one.
At 9.15pm another guest arrives followed by a third around 9.30pm. At 11.30pm the last
guest arrives without so much as an apology and we finally we sit down to eat.
By this time Im not only practically gnawing the table leg with hunger, but Im also
assured a night of severe indigestion as, at an altitude of 3,577m, everyone in La Paz
knows to eat at lunch and snack in the evening as the body cant metabolise heavy
meals quickly.
To the European mind, arriving three-and-a-half hours late would be enough to end a
friendship. To Bolivians, it was perfectly acceptable. Its just the hora Boliviana
[Bolivian time], said Luis, who turned up on this night a little after 10.30pm. Nobody
expects you to actually be on time in Bolivia, so everyone just factors in the delay.
One Bolivian colleague once left me waiting two hours in a coffee shop to
accompany them to an interview. When I finally got through to his mobile, he breezily
announced that he was a bit tired and didnt fancy it. But, he added, without a
hint of irony, we can go tomorrow if you like. This is more than just the maana
lifestyle of southern Spain or Mexico. This is a national psyche set with an automatic
two-hour snooze timer. But what effect does it have on the economy?
Something different
Im not bringing up the matter of just how Australia managed to obtain a draw in
their second Cricket Test Match against England for the Ashes. The series are not
over yet so we shall just have to await the outcome of the third match with England one
up at the moment.
No, what I had in mind is bringing to light the amazing new Spanish tennis prodigy
called Rafael Nadal. Now I am quite sure that a very high percentage of my readers are
either keen tennis players or at least enjoy watching sport prodigies, in this case in the
field of tennis, so let me put it quite bluntly, Rafael, still a teenager, will be breaking
records left and right, mark my words.
Rafaels final in the Montreal Tournament against US Andr Agassi, who has been a
tennis myth for the past three decades and at 35 still nobodys push-over, was proof of
what I wrote above: the kid is a delight to watch, not to mention the 400,000 he received
for taking top spot.
Now it is also true that Rafael got bumped out of the Cincinnati Tournament three
days later by Czech-born Berdich, also a teenager, in three gruelling sets. But my
thoughts will be to watch a final of the US Open (starting 29 August) between Rafael
and the reigning Swiss champ Federer, who, by the way, is only 23 and who for the past
two years has been unquestionably the star tennis performer. Veremos
Until then, here is wishing you all a most enjoyable weekend

3
We know about Internet!
HIGHWAY INTERNET- Grupo Aventura.com
www.aventura.com.py
info@highway.com.py
Tel.662-609
PEOPLE in the NEWS NOTICES - SPORTS - COMING EVENTS
BIRTHDAYS
AUGUST
20
GOICOA, Gonzalo
27
RICKMANN, Juan Jos
30
SIEMENS, Peter

SALE - ARGENTINE HANDRICRAFT PRODUCTS

Saturday 20 August from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.
Unique works made in wood, alpaca, tiento and cattle horns
Centurin Miranda 169 c/ Sacramento
Hola Queridos amigos: Una vez ms realizar en casa una feria con lindsimos
productos artesanales argentinos para decorar el hogar. Los invito para que se den una
vuelta el sbado, aunque sea para mirar y tomarnos un cafecito. Carios,
Ana Mara Madero de Dellepiane Tel 661.875.

LUNCHEONS
FRIDAY, 26 August Strangers Club 299th Luncheon at Chaco Hotel
The Strangers Club Asuncin will be holding their 299 th Luncheon on FRIDAY, 26
August at the Chaco Hotel commencing at 12:45 a.m. The meal to be served punctually
at 1 p.m.
On this occasion a special Club plaque will be presented to Mrs. Doris Waelchli
Giraud, the Swiss Embassy 2nd Secretary and Consul who together with her family will
be departing from Paraguay in September due to End of Mission.
Members Gs. 60,000 Non-Members Gs. 90,000 (Wines included during the meal)
Confirmations by phone: 0991-724-217 or by e-mail to stranger@highway.com.py
Confirmed attendees at the time of going to press include: HE Monsignor Antonio
Lucibello, Legatus a latere; HE Dino Florentin Bogado, former foreign Affairs
Minister and Honorary Chairman Strangers Club; HE Fernando Guardia,
Ambassador of Costa Rica; Hctor Dellepiane, Charg dAffairs Argentine Embassy;
Flix Ugarte and Divina Ayala of the French Embassy Commercial Sector; Juan Jos
Bentez Rickmann, Honorary Consul of Costa Rica; Vladimir Ionescu, Honorary
Consul of Rumania; Hartwig Thees from Encarnacin; Mara Ins Robles de
Berkemeyer; Federico Lewkowitz; Francois Pillonel, former Charg dAffairs Swiss
Embassy; Margarita du Guerny; Tefilo Stegens; Rubn Falcn; Alex Semm; John
Helmfelt; Col. Ernesto Oviedo; Peter Siemens; Architect Guillermo Hellmers;
Carlos Cazenave and Michael Becker. First timers include: Yamil Daantje Omaa,
Charg dAffairs a.i., Venezuelan Embassy; Ricardo Aino, Secretary and Consul
Spanish Embassy and his wife Rosa.

BCC (British Community Council)

The following is a list of the proposed events for the coming months:
FRIDAY 26th AUGUST

4
MUSICAL EVENING - at the home of Angela Froude San Pedro 186 eq. Tte.
Quiones, Barrio Stma Trinidad from 8 p.m. Tickets at the door price Gs.15,000
(including finger food buffet). Bar serving beers, wines, spirits and soft drinks.
Anyone can take part; so if you can sing, dance, play a musical instrument or recite
poetry or prose, do come along. If youd rather just watch, then come along too.
SATURDAY, 17th SEPTEMBER
FANCY DRESS PARTY at the home of Julian and Beth Unthank, Antonio Taboada
5730 from 8 p.m.
SUNDAY, 20th NOVEMBER
AFTERNOON at the RACES - at the Hipodromo from 1 p.m.
SATURDAY, 10th DECEMBER
CHRISTMAS DINNER - at the home of Cord and Margarita Kelly, Hassler 438 (to be
confirmed)
End of January 2006
BURNSNIGHT - at the home of Guillermo Peroni or the home of Charles and Camilla
ONeill (to be confirmed)
We hope you will be able to attend all or some of these events.
The Committee of the BCC
Maps, travel-guide books, postcards and CD Roms on Paraguay
For more details and information contact: Distribuidora Meier through
E-Mail: lotharst@rieder.net.py or Telefax (595-21) 301-084
CHURCH NOTICES
ST. ANDREWS ANGLICAN CHURCH - Avda. Espaa 1357 (near corner of
General Santos) Services in English every Sunday at 10:00 a.m. For further information,
contact the Diocesan Office Tel. 200-933.
CATHOLIC MASS IN ENGLISH
Chapel of the Fathers of the Oblates of Mary Immaculate. Quesada 4365 c/McArthur .
Behind what used to be Diario HOY). Every Sunday at 10:30 am.
Chaplain: Reverend. Robert Hopwood, C.S.S.R
.
Your Home away from Home whilst in Asuncin
Hotel WESTFALENHAUS
Tel. (021) 293-374 E-Mail: hotel@westfalenhaus.com
Homepage: http://www.english.westfalenhaus.com - http://www.paraguay-hotel.com http://www.paraguay-search.com - http://www.paraguay-travel.de

News from France

Gemplus smart cards to improve border controls
French company Gemplus International was selected last May by an ad hoc group of
European countries to develop contact-less smart cards that would facilitate the
verification of visas inside the Schengen area (a zone formed by 15 European countries
that have agreed to end internal border controls). As part of the Biodev project aimed
at improving European standards with regards border security, the new smart cards will
contain biometric data on small chips that can be read remotely, thereby speeding
security checks.

5
New high-speed train line to link France, Germany
A new Paris-Frankfurt line will cut travel time between the two cities from about 6
hours to less than 4 hours, by linking the French (TGV) and German (ICE) high speed
train lines. A joint company, similar to Eurostar (for the Paris-London TGV) and Thalys
(Paris-Brussels) has been created by the German and French railway companies to run
the new Paris-Frankfurt and Paris-Stuttgart lines, which are slated to open in 2007.
More than 1.5 million travellers a year are expected to use the new lines.
Source: News from France
NEXT ISSUE: French student roots out world record / New home for Mona Lisa
U.S.A.F. trained electronics handyman
BILLS ELECTRONICS
Specialising in: Computers, communications Audio & Video Equipment Servicing,
Repair and Installation - Tel. 942-844 Cellular: 0981-441-924

JAPAN TODAY
Forests in Late Autumn by Mitsuhiko Imamori
In the forests of late autumn, the signs of winters approach become clearer with
every passing day. The leaves falls thicker and faster, and the blue sky becomes visible
through the gaps between the unburdened branches, the weak autumn sun can finally
reach the inner confines of the forest. For some people, the changing face of the autumn
forest has a slightly sad feel to it, but for me it signals the beginning of a new season.
The process by which mixed forests assume their autumn colours takes time, and
allows for many different delights. Forests high in the mountains burst into colour like
flames that seem to go out just as quickly. Lowland forests change colour slowly; the
process starts in early Autumn, and lasts about three months until the last trees have
changed.
The first trees to turn red are the poison oaks and wax trees. Their bright red leaves
appear early, offering a contrast to the verdure that still surrounds them and announcing
that autumn is on its way. Once they have finished, one after another all the other
deciduous trees start to change colour. The timing varies between species, and even
between trees of the same species, but it never takes any longer than a week for a tree to
change colour completely. There may be as many as a hundred different species in a
typical mixed forest, so the change of colour continues over a long period of time. The
maples, the quercus oaks and the Japanese spicebushes provide the grand finale, and by
the time they have shed their leaves the presence of winter can already be felt.
Mitsuhiku Iamamori is a photographer. His philosophical search for the relationship
between the human and animal inhabitants of rural areas, and his thinking on our
natural environment, have drawn attention both within Japan and overseas.
Source: Asia-Pacific Perspective
Next issue: New Years Day by Mitsuhiku Iamamori
TRIGO DEL SUR
English run B and B. Lovely house, pool, garden, a/c, and very reasonable rates.
Tel: 602-389 or e-mail joepeacock2001@yahoo.com

6
The Humour Corner by Eduardo Teddy Abello and Donald Sym Smith
Good Wednesday!!
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is
Chinese. Its the first time theyve flown together and an awkward silence between the
two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish
captain activates the auto pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, I dont like
Chinese.
No rike Chinese? asks the co-pilot, why not?
You people bombed Pearl Harbour , thats why!
No, no, the co-pilot protests, Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not
Chinese.
Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... doesnt matter, youre all alike!
Theres a few minutes of silence. No rike Jews! the co-pilot suddenly announces.
Why not? asks the captain.
Jews sink Titanic, the co-pilot responds.
Jews didnt sink the Titanic! exclaims the captain, It was an iceberg!
Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg , Rosenberg , no mattah... all same.
Why do men pee standing up?
God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He
couldnt quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve. He thought He might
just as well ask them. He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would
allow the owner to pee while standing up. Its a very handy thing, God told them,
and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it. Well, Adam jumped
up and down and begged, Oh, please give that to me! Id love to be able to do that! It
seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me! On
and on and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled and told God that if
Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it. So God gave Adam the thing that
allowed him to pee standing up. Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over
the place - first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he
tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away - laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, Well, I guess
youre kind of stuck with the last thing I have left. It is really handy.
Whats it called? asked Eve
Brains, said God
When intending a visit to Asuncin, we recommend you stay at the
HOTEL CHACO
Caballero / Mcal. Estigarribia - Tel. 492-066 E-mail: info@hotelchaco.com.py
A wee bit of Memorabilia
19 August
John Dryden was born 1631
20 August
Gen. William Booth died 1912. Trotsky died 1940
21 August
Princess Margaret was born 1930
22 August
Richard III died 1485. Claude Debussy was born 1862
23 August
William Wallace was executed 1305
24 August
Vesuvius erupts A.S. 79
25 August
Liberation of Paris (World War II) 1944

7
Wooden Trophies Lapel Pins Cups Medals Company Gifts
MADERA & METAL
Caballero 691 - Tel. 490-776 Web Site: www.maderaymetal.com.py
TID-BITS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
Cultural Diversity
* A French bus line filed an unfair-competition lawsuit against a group of cleaning
ladies in Moselle, who used to be customers but who recently began car-pooling to their
jobs across the border at European Union offices in Luxembourg. Transports Schiocchet
Excursions wants the ladies fined and their cars confiscated. And in Tokyo in July, a
group of French-language schoolteachers filed a lawsuit against the city's governor
(asking the equivalent of almost $100,000) for his having denigrated the French
language, calling it a "failed international language." Said Malik Berkane, head of a
French school in Tokyo, "(I)t's unacceptable for him to insult French in this way." [The
Guardian (London), 7-11-05] [Chicago Sun-Times-AP, 7-14-05]
*The Living Word Tabernacle in Waverly, Ohio, terminated the membership of Loretta
Davis recently, according to a July report by WCMH-TV in Columbus, because she had
stopped paying her tithe. Davis' contributions ended in January after she was
hospitalised the first of 15 times this year for congestive heart failure. The church's
founder said non-member Davis could still attend, but Davis' daughter said, "In the time
of (her) need, (the church) should be caring, supporting, asking what she needs, help her
if she needed help." (When healthier, Davis was donating $60 a month out of her $592
Social Security check.) [WCMH-TV, 7-15-05]
Incompetent Home Improvement: A bee-plagued homeowner in northwest Tucson,
Ariz., attempting to "frighten the bees off" (according to a fire department spokesman)
by lighting a small fire in the attic, inadvertently ignited insecticide vapour, with the
resulting blaze causing about $100,000 damage to the roof (March). And a woman in
Mecklenburg County, N.C., attempted to chase snakes out of a couch on her front porch
by dousing the nest with lighter fluid, but then an accidentally dropped match set a fire
large enough that she had to jump out a window to safety (June). [Arizona Daily Star, 326-05] [WSOC-TV (Charlotte), 6- 15-05]
* Fetish du Jour: In July in Exeter, England, Paul Pennington pleaded guilty to engaging
in sexual activity in a public restroom, while incidentally dressed in a baby diaper, bib
and girl's dress and carrying a baby bottle (but also wearing a stuffed bra). [Western
Daily Press, 7-15-05]
Latest Religious Messages
Britain's Church Mission Society, with 200 missionaries around the world, decided
recently that a place that needs one the most is the town of Telford, England (population
150,000), where fewer than one in a hundred residents attends an Anglican church.
(Said a CMS spokesman, "These days the CMS goes to the hard places and takes on the
hard cases.") (The Church of England might have a larger problem, according to a July
survey by Bangor University researchers: 3 percent of its clergy doubts the existence of
God, which works out to nearly 300 non-believing ministers.) [The Guardian (London),
7-11-05] [The Times (London), 7-4-05]
A growing number of historical sites in Mecca (perhaps even including the home of
the Prophet Muhammad) may soon fall to urban renewal as developers plan skyscrapers

8
with stores and condominiums, according to a July Reuters dispatch. (Ironically, many
devout Wahhabi Muslims support the demolition, hoping to prevent people from
worshipping such "sacred" buildings instead of concentrating on their proper duties in
Islam. Those Wahhabis view only the Grand Mosque, which is the destination for the
annual hajj pilgrimages, as untouchable.) [Reuters, 7-12-05]
The New Born Fellowship Christian Centre in Rochester, N.Y., recently adopted a
several-weeks-long "Spiritual Warfare" theme that featured its pastor, Warren Meeks,
delivering sermons while in military fatigues (and asking congregants to wear fatigues,
too), to battle the spirits opposing U.S. troops overseas and those challenging American
youth with drugs and gangs. Meeks also brought in an Army missile, to help with the
message, according to a report on WHAM-TV. [WHAM-TV (Rochester), [7-4-05]
First Things First
In June, the Arab Balad party went to court in Haifa, Israel, challenging ultra-nationalist
Jews of the Gush Katif settlement, who are virulently opposing the
government's mandatory withdrawal from Gaza. However, the Balads'
complaint has little to do with sovereignty or religion. The party has for years
used orange as its organizing theme colour and filed the lawsuit to make the
upstart Gush Katif stop using orange in its own materials. [Reuters, 7-105]
Thinning the Herd
The bodies of Kentucky State Reformatory inmates Avery C. Roland, 26, and Michael
Talbot Jr., 24, were found in a nearby landfill the day after they went missing in July; a
Department of Corrections official said they had probably hidden inside a garbage truck
without realizing that, to prevent escapes, the prison requires that garbage be compacted
twice before it leaves the grounds. And four days apart in July, two 19-year-old men (in
Sheboygan, Wis., and Louisville, Ky.) fell to their deaths while car-surfing at high
speeds. (According to a witness, the Sheboygan man's fatal fall came shortly after he
yelled to his driver, "Is that all you got?") [WLEX-TV (Lexington, Ky.)-AP, 7-15-05]
[WLKY-TV (Louisville), 7-12-05] [WBAY-TV (Green Bay, Wis.), 7-8-05]