Philip Smith

Tom Brady 205

3/17/15
Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr.: The Hero of Our Generation
Not much is known about the origins of Tom Brady. Some say he burst forth, fully
formed, in a supernova from the remnants of a dying sun. Others say when the pilgrims first set
foot on Cape Cod, Tom Brady was found bundled, football in hand, on top of the famed
Plymouth Rock. Others still insist he was born and raised in San Mateo, California to parents
Galynn Patricia, and Thomas Brady Sr. The true story, we may never know. Sun, moon or Mateo
Tom Brady has been one of the most, if not the most, important men of our generation, and has a
set a bar for greatness that will not soon be surpassed.
Growing up Brady had a deep interest in football, an interest that would blossom into a
love, then a passion, then a mission. Players like Joe Montana became inspirations for the young
superhero. Football brought out the best in the young boy, and he lived a full and happy
childhood, presumably helping many elderly couples, saving several kittens and getting laid
continuously from the age of 14 onward. Following his interest after high school Brady went on
to the University of Michigan but unfortunately found that it would take more than merely
passion and effort to reach the top. Overshadowed by future Superbowl champion Brian Griese,
Brady struggled to get playing time over his first two years. Low on the depth chart and
underappreciated, any normal player would have given up or transferred to a school with a more
open roster. But this is Tom Fucking Brady were talking about. After spending countless extra
hours training with the assistant coaches Brady won the battle for starting quarterback his junior

year against Drew Henson and went on to set several Michigan records. After finishing a college
career with victories in the Citrus Bowl and the Orange Bowl Brady was ready for the big
leagues, but, although they did not know it yet, the big leagues were not ready for Tom
Motherfucking Brady.
Drafted #199 in the sixth round as a compensatory pick in what would become known as
the best NFL draft pick of all time (Im serious look it up), Tom Brady started with the one and
only national team he would ever play for, The New England Patriots. Starting fourth string and
ending second string Bradys first season was uneventful. However, this was just a ploy by Brady
and Belichick to lure the playing field into a false sense of safety before they started the most
successful decade and a half of national football the Patriots had ever seen. Starter by the third
game, Tom Brady brought the Patriots out of the ashes like a phoenix from Hell. Pass after pass,
game after game Brady and the Pats forged forward into their first Superbowl victory. Taking the
year after 2001 off to let the rest of the field recover, Brady led the charge again in 03 and 04
with an unprecedented set of back-to-back Superbowl victories. These victories however came at
a price. Sapped of his super human strength over the next ten years Brady was unable to convert
even a perfect season into a Superbowl victory against archrival and professional supervillain Eli
Manning. However, after a decade of struggle, reflection and improvement Tom Brady, at age 37,
won his fourth Superbowl game. With this game he tied his hero Joe Montana for Superbowl
victories and cemented his name in the annals of history as the greatest Quarterback of all time.