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problem (89). We must learn that humans are responsible and are therefore
response-able. I must acknowledge that I am where I am
because of me.
Circle of Concern and Influence: If you focus on your
circle of influence, you improve what you can, and
eventually your success will increase your Circle of
Influence. If you focus on the Circle of Concern, you only
dwell on that which you cannot change and eventually decrease your Circle of
Influence. The point is that you can always do something; therefore focus on
what you can address and be at peace with you cannot.
We are free to choose actions, but not consequences. Do what you can to bring
about change and do not beat yourself up over the response or lack thereof.
II
III
I
Not Important
IV
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Consequences: Explain the rewards and punishments that will
result when evaluated.
o TRUST
Trust is the highest form of human motivation, (178).
Establishing appropriate amounts of trust
For Immature People: Specify few desired results and
more guidelines, resources, frequent accountability, and
immediate consequences.
For Mature People: Specify more challenging desired
results; less guidelines and frequent accountability; less
measurable but more discernable consequences.
6
o Organizations and individuals profit most when appropriate responsibility
and freedom is given to individuals.
o Focus is on results, not methods
o Accountability comes from people evaluating themselves.
o Establish consequences
Financial (income, allowances, etc)
Psychic (approval, respect, etc) usually more motivating than
financial
Opportunity (training, benefits, etc)
Responsibility (shift of authority domain)
o If you talk Win/Win but reward Win/Lose youve got a losing program on
your hands, (229).
o Process for creating a Win/Win organization:
Understand the problem from the other view
Identify the key issues and concerns (not positions)
Determine what results would constitute and acceptable solution
Identify options to achieve the desired results
Chapter 8: Habit 5, Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Unless you are influenced by my uniqueness, Im not going to be influenced by
your advice (239). Too often we proscribe before gaining enough understanding
to diagnose.
Effective communication
o Rephrase their content and reflect their feelings. You must show you
caught their emotion and their words. Understand people emotionally!
o Ethos, Pathos, Logos Sequence: Communication starts with your
credibility, grasps the others concerns/wants, and then gives a logical
response that addresses those concerns.
o Effective business transactions often come down to communicating an
understanding of the others needs and then honestly explaining to what
extent you can meet those needs.
Chapter 9: Habit 6, Synergize
1+1=3 or 4. Coveys synergy philosophy teaches that two people, perspectives,
or thoughts can be pooled together to create something entirely different and
notably better than the summation of individuality. This is essentially the
Buddhist teach on the middle way middle is not the compromise, but the
higher point between the two, for example the apex of a triangle.
Our ability to Synergize comes down to how we proportionately value one
thought vs. another. If you are extremely confident in your ability to make proper
assessments and plans, you will not sense a need for help from everyone else that
is off track and therefore will not synergize. For Synergy to happen we must
believe that another person is extremely valuable in working with us to create
success in that they represent experiences and perspectives that I will never be
able to take into account all on my own.
Do not press your mold on another, do not accept anothers mold for yourself;
work with them to create a new mold superior to either.
Part 4: Renewal
Chapter 10: Habit 7, Sharpen the Saw
Previous chapters taught that we must monitor the health of that which creates our
production capability if we want to produce. This chapter focuses on taking care of
ourselves as the highest source of production capability.
Physically: Exercise, Nutrition, Manage stress
Spiritually: Take retreats to 1) Listen carefully, 2) Try reaching back, 3) Examine
your motives, 4) Write your worries on the sand. Prayer and Meditation
Mentally: Our minds were sharpest in college. We would do well to maintain
mental excellence through reading, writing, planning, and visualizing.
Emotionally: Serve, Empathize, Synergize, Develop Intrinsic Security.
Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be
and he will become as he can and should be. Goethe
Chapter 11: Inside-Out Again
Covey closes with personal lessons of how he and his wife came together in greater unity
as they conversationally exposed personal scripting and did not intimidate the other by
probing.