Ballad of a BULLIEE, Part I
YOUR JACK, AND HIS BEANSTALK
2006, 2016 by David v. GOLIATH [L0h]
from Tenants Joining Resources (aka 10JR)
01 The ground is shaking when the giant comes,
Climbing on down with his "Fee-fi-fo-fum's".
02 His ego wants you up at him to look,
But he's no more than just a common crook.
03 Unjust evictions are crimes he'll foster.
Bad Unscrupulous LandLord Imposter,
04 Embezzler, Extortionist, Swindler, too;
BULLIEE for short, though that list isn't through.
05 His kind's lawbreakers and credit denters,
Using apartments for robbing renters.
06 Bullys a good name 'cause that's how he acts,
Abusing tenants. A conscience he lacks.
07 He will rip off just about everyone.
Sucking enough money up can't be done
08 'Cause this BULLIEE's greed encounters one glitch:
Hes GOT to get even richer than rich!
09 There is no amount that will be too small.
Whatever you've got, he'll snatch at it all.
10 Imposing on you with intent to rob,
He thinks stealing from tenants is his job.
11 The day he came into your life it rained.
He believes "Nothing stolen, nothing gained."
12 He won't "Give and take" nor "Live and let live."
His favrite motto is "Take and let give!"
13 No matter how much he gets, this BULLIEE
Can't ever quite be satisfied fully.
14 Having more money than he'll ever need's
Not nearly enough to fulfill his greeds.
15 If he stacked his bucks they'd be way too high,
But he won't let up 'til they reach the sky.
16 Though his pile stretches from ceiling to floor,
He'll never pass up a chance to grab more.
17 Landlord predators mess with renters' lives
For hundreds, fifties, twenties, tens and fives.
18 For a dollar hell take your parking space,
Then lease it back out with another place.
19 Backdated papers to the day before
Don't give him the right to barge through your door.
20 Since he won't hesitate to lie or cheat,
When you pay, make sure you get a receipt.
21 He mistreats renters whose homes he poaches
Laden with mold, ants, rodents and roaches.
22 Hed probably pull out all of his hair
Before he ever would make a repair!
23 Gives a short term lease; at time to renew,
He illegally extorts more from you.
24 To motivate you to change your abode,
His buildings are never quite up to code.
25 He jacks up the rents and he doesn't care
If it's illegal or merely unfair.
26 Following the law's not what he's about.
If you don't pay up, he'll just kick you out,
27 Or coerce you to move to circumvent
The city's program to control your rent.
28 While he sleeps in bed, and you're on the street,
He can then get more for your "ritzy suite."
29 Even when you're gone, there seems no escape
From a captive tenant's financial rape.
30 You've cleared out and left, but you're still not through,
'Cause hes embezzled your deposit, too!
31 So you file a suit and to court you go.
His big defense is "Hey, I didn't know!
32 It really must be some kinda mistake
Because undue money I'd never take.
33 Damage penalties ought to slow him down,
But you wont get that from courts in this town,
34 'Cause he pulls wool over the judges' eyes,
And they fall for it. There's a real surprise.
35 "It's got to be somebody else's fault.
Their money's accidently in my vault."
36 With no cost to him despite proof in court,
He just breaks even. Why would he abort?
37 Though you've accomplished your primary goal,
You had to re-earn the money he stole.
38 Now he pays you back, but still gets off free,
Then plans out who his next victim will be.
39 As he continues exploiting tenants,
He seems to think he'll get off with penance.
40 No predator living a life of sin
Can buy his way through the door to Heaven.
41 That doesn't mean he won't give it a try,
But he can't afford things money won't buy.
42 When he takes Your Jack, don't just wail and squawk.
Grab an axe and hack down His Damned Beanstalk!!