A Party Boys Production TO PROTECT

AND SERVE

MFO 51 Toilet Paper E-4 MAFIA

10 APRIL 2008 VOLUME 1, ISSUE 3

The Hottest Past-Time to Hit the OP!
There is a game out
there, so diabolically
addicting, that it should
be outlawed. So many
soldiers have succumbed
to the dark-side while
playing it, that the Chap-
lain should be notified
Physical Training? immediately. Of course
you know, I am describ-
The key to a successful ing Pirate Poppers!!
physical training program This game can be found
while here in the Sinai is on the computers at
strength training. After many OP’s and Offices
many long and grueling throughout camp. What
hours of physical training was once a small matter
on the OP’s, this soldier of computer Solitaire has
can easily lift even the now created the addic-
heaviest equipment on tion that feeds this game.
South Camp. Keeping Your task during this
fit is your duty as a sol-
dier, even if the equip-
ment at the OP’s is me-
dieval in quality and
quantity. Good Work
SPC BECK!!
“Smithers, I Believe I would Like Another
Fruit-Smoothie! Chop-Chop!! I am Feeling
game is to destroy all of
the cannonballs on each A Little Peppy Today!! Release The Mako
level. You shoot like- Shark So I Can Chase It To The Farthest
colored cannon balls to
Buoy and Back.” Monty “MFO” Burns
create packs of three or
more. Each time more
than three cannon balls
combine, they explode.
When the board is clear,
you win the level and
add treasure to your se-
cret cave. (Kind of hot,
isn’t it?) You can play
the Adventure, the Puz-
zle, or the Arcade. All
are roughly the same
game, but some require
speed and other games
require brain-power. Do
not be fooled? You will
ultimately find yourself
screaming at 0300 hours
while staring at the
screen with bloodshot
eyes and praying for
sunrise to end your suf-
fering. ARRRGGHH!

Big Night Out At The Sharm El Sheik Swap Meet!! Newsletter Policies for Submission:

That’s right folks, come
and get it, the best junk
this side of the Sahara.
Everything in the store
can, and will be yours, if
the PRICE IS RIGHT!!
“You, my good friend,
come and see my good
junk!” can be heard from
near and far in the Sharm
This fabulous El Sheik Marketplace.
6-Foot-6-Inch While searching for that
Wooden Horse perfect t-shirt to send
was reportedly home to your “tater-tots”,
hand-carved by don’t forget to peruse the
an elderly, many special gifts you can
blind woman only find in this locale.
with her spoon Gifts that include $200
L.E. fake Rolex, Breitling,
and a nail file.
and Gucci watches.,
wood carvings, electronics,
jewelry, and many other
treasures. Be sure to stop
by and take a camel ride
near the entrance to the
waterfall area.
All of the café’s and bar
areas will seem inviting.
We only found one spot
worthy of a party though,
The Terrazzina Beach
Club rocks! The food is
edible, the beer is cold, the
bikinis and banana-
hammocks are every-
where. The nightlife on
weekend nights cannot be
beat. It was a ton of fun,
and they are renovating a
nightclub to open soon!!
All material is to be submitted to the publisher no
later than 24 hours before printing. This me-
dium was designed for fun only. Any descrip-
tions of events or news presented is fake and does
not reflect the views or orders of the official peo-
ple running our camp. Any similarity to actual
events and people is purely coincidental and shall
not be interpreted as truth. We accept submis-
sions for content from anyone on camp, prefera-
bly E-4 or below. Submissions are accepted on a
first come-first served basis and there is no guar-
antee of publication. All submissions become the
sole property of the editorial staff. 2008 NOTE:
There was some difficulty with the previous MSN
Email. Please resend all articles for submission
to the new email address. They will make the
next issue. This news medium accepts submis-
sions from ALL RANKS and ALL TROOPS!!

All submissions can be made to mfotoiletpaper@gmail.com

10 APRIL 2008 MFO TOILET PAPER VOLUME 1, ISSUE 3

Important Info for Readers: Little Children Will Need To Behave!
Is there a cricket in your
♦ Check out the newest “CLUB” on post in
pants or is that the Drive-
the Charlie Troop Billets Area. Good Right going off?
Drinks, Good Soldiers, Good Times!!
♦ It is getting hotter every day!! Don’t for-
get to hydrate!!
♦ Try the Luxor Beer and the chicken sand-
wich at the beach club.
♦ If you pay more than half of the opening
price while haggling, you paid too much!
Ignoring that little noise
could cost you! Don’t
lose a license because
you are in a hurry to see
the whole desert. Try
slowing down and turn-
ing up the radio. Both of
these solutions will help
you to forget that the
“MAN” is watching your
speed. While there are
good reasons for acceler-
ating, just make sure you
“Terrazzina Beach Views” note the beep and brake.
LAWN FURNITURE
SUICIDES CAN BE
PREVENTED!!
Most suicides by lawn
furniture can be easily
prevented. Counsel
your picnic tables and
other furniture on the
hazards of standing too
close to fire or water.
For some on South
Camp it is too late. A
recent tragedy took
place when a depressed
table flung itself into a
fire screaming that “it
wanted to end it all.”
Soldiers nearby bravely
tried to drag the burning
table to safety , but re-
suscitation efforts failed.
Lets not lose another
brave piece of furniture
this tour!! Counseling
and Intervention pro-
grams as well as varnish
are available from S-4.
PERSONALS
Dear MDF:
How about vegetarian meals
at the OP’s for a change?
The fried food is killing us.
The Guys
HELP WANTED:
Now seeking all appli-
cants to tend bar at local
clubs. SCO approval
requested. Non-teaching,
non-librarian, out-of-
work-at-nite, USBATT
soldiers only. Lets revive
this 20-year old tradition!
Lifeguards:
Swim slower tomorrow, I
cannot keep up.
Mako the Pet Shark
Favorite new cocktail of
the Month:
BIG H COOLER
(In a Pint Glass with Ice)
2 shots Vanilla Vodka
1 can Ginger Ale

VODOPHONE is the Way To Go OP Cooking at it’s Best, Part Duex!!

The little modem with a
lot of speed is pictured
above. It is widely re-
ported that the pathetic
internet access that is cur-
rently on the OP’s can be
bypassed by purchasing
one of these internet
cards. Sources say that the
best place to purchase
them is either Naama Bay,
or at the Il Mercator mall.
The Vodophone store or
retail outlet should not
require an address if you
show your MFO ID.
There are many plans to
choose from. The card
itself will run $1455 L.E. ,
this is around $267 US
Dollars. The plans run in
increments of gigabytes.
A 1-GB plan can can be as
low as $30 US a month.
The more memory you
use, the higher the plan
you will need. It seems
like the most popular plan
is the 5-GB for approxi-
mately $100 US per
month. Some say that
around SC the cards can
have DSL-like speeds, but
on the OP’s they are
slowed considerably. All
in all, this beats the
“fabulous” internet from
Rome, Italy that is cur-
rently installed on the
satellite systems at OP’s.
Angel Hair Pasta with amount of sauce mixture when
Shrimp And Vegetable vegetables are soft. Serve hot over
Alfredo.
pasta with freshly toasted garlic
bread and salad with balsamic vinai-
1 bag - Raw Shrimp
grette. Serve with a regional white,
2 ea - Peppers (Red,Green,Yellow)
semi-sweet table wine. Serves 8-9.
1 pk - White Mushrooms
3 ea - Yellow Onions
2 pk - Angel Hair Pasta (cooked) Dessert suggestions include apple
1 pk - Skim Milk
crisp, ice cream, or cookies and
1 cup - Flour
1 cup - Parmesan Cheese, grated milk. Creator: Unknown
Various—Olive Oil, Garlic, Salt,
Pepper, Oregano, Basil
Boil Shrimp in hot water with olive
oil, garlic, basil, oregano. Drain.
Mix milk, cheese, and flour with
small amount of garlic and spices.
Blend with fork until creamy.
In hot oil on grill or in skillet, sauté
vegetables and shrimp. Add small

All submissions can be made to mfotoiletpaper@gmail.com