Our child is a girl American Civil Liberties Union of Illinois

04/03/16 8:43 pm

November 12, 2015 10:00 am

Our child is a girl

By Anonymous
The ACLU represents the family of a female student denied access to the locker room at her high school
because she is transgender. Recently the U.S. Department of Educations Office of Civil Rights found that
the school was violating the girls federally-protected rights. The family has not spoken about this case,
seeking to protect their familys privacy. The mother of the student, however, shared this statement with
the ACLU. We are pleased to share it with you.
My husband and I laughed recently when our daughter
said her friends say Youre the most famous anonymous
person. Laughter has been rare these days. Thats
because our daughter is Student A at the center of the
recent controversy over whether a girl who is
transgender should be permitted to use the girls locker
room. The Department of Educations Office of Civil
Rights (OCR) says yes. Our school district Township
District 211 insists that students of the opposite sex
should not be permitted in the girls locker room. For the
record, we agree with District Superintendent Daniel
Cates about not permitting students of the opposite sex
in the locker room. But the inconvenient fact for Mr.
Cates and his supporters is that our daughter is not of the opposite sex. She is a girl.
The District wrongly assumes what many who are not educated about the issue assume; that what makes a
girl a girl and a boy a boy is simple anatomy. We believed this, until our daughter came along. Despite
early signs from as young as four, when she declared herself a girl, to the fact that she had mostly
girlfriends growing up, played with dolls, begged to wear girls clothes, insisted on wearing a Hannah
Montana wig while she danced around the living room and was heavily distraught over the male
characteristics of her body we were still shocked and ill-prepared when, at the end of seventh grade, our
daughter again told us that she was a girl and had to live openly as one.
This is a difficult concept to grasp. However, just because something is difficult to understand, does not
mean we should mock it or deny its existence. When we were struggling to understand, we sought out
medical professionals, and support groups. Through this education process, we learned that gender
extends beyond the sex a person is assigned at birth. We learned that scientific evidence has determined
that gender is also determined by the brains anatomy, which is why the sexual characteristics assigned to
many at birth are incongruent with their true gender identity. We also learned that ones gender identity is
different from ones sexual orientation. Most importantly, we learned acceptance.
We then tried to work with our daughters educators, our church, family and friends, to mitigate the risk
that she would be one of the at least 20 transgender individuals who were brutally murdered this year or
one of the more than fifty percent of transgender youth who attempt suicide by the age of 20. We were
cautiously optimistic when many of our family and friends expressed support. However, we faced
roadblocks early on with the school system.
http://www.aclu-il.org/our-child-is-a-girl/

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Our child is a girl American Civil Liberties Union of Illinois

04/03/16 8:43 pm

In Junior High, our daughter was not permitted to use the girls restroom or locker room or to participate
in girls sports. As a result, she was bullied on a daily basis. The emotional toll this took on her broke our
heart and we vowed to do all we could to ensure she never had to endure this kind of abuse in High
School.
We knew that a big factor in whether our daughter would be fully accepted by her peers was whether the
High School would treat her as a girl in all respects. If she was segregated, forced to use separate
facilities, it would signal to others that it was acceptable to treat her differently. To ensure our daughter
would not be discriminated against, we legally changed her name, obtained a passport which correctly
identified her gender as female, submitted medical records to the District which demonstrated she had
been diagnosed with gender dysphoria and was receiving treatment for it including hormone injections.
Despite the overwhelming evidence that my daughter is a girl, the institution that is charged with
educating and enlightening our children, was only concerned with her body. The District therefore did not
allow her in the girls locker room and instead felt compelled to discipline her on several occasions after
she did, in fact, dare to use the same facilities as every other girl. The result was devastating to her there
were times she was inconsolable and all we could do was hold her and tell her that we loved her and
would continue to advocate on her behalf.
After four months of meeting with the administration, it is the District that left us no other remedy but to
file a complaint with the Department of Education with the help of the ACLU of Illinois. Despite the
Districts best efforts to frame the OCRs findings as big governments attempt to regulate at the local
level, it is the District that has trampled on the rights of our daughter. The fact that Superintendent Cates
has the nerve to state hes being bullied into complying with the law shows he has absolutely no
sensitivity or compassion for what my daughter or any other transgender youth in the District has suffered
under his policies. It is simply reprehensible and the lowest form of political posturing.
The fact that neighboring school districts have managed to grant transgender youth access to the locker
rooms which correspond with their gender identity without any issues only serves to highlight that District
211s stated concerns are mere subterfuge for discrimination. The only real fear is that which my daughter
faces now and probably will for the rest of her life fear that she will never be truly accepted by society,
fear that she will never get married and have a family and, most concerning, fear that she will be harmed
by people who are threatened by her very existence.
Some of the opinions and comments on this case have been hurtful and difficult to read; still, we are
pleased that the issue is in the public discourse. We are hopeful that those with open minds and hearts will
come to a place of acceptance. And we are thankful for the courageous voices of those who came before
us and those who stand beside us in this journey for justice. And while our daughter will continue to
remain anonymous for now, she is well-represented by the thousands of transgender youth who are
fighting for the right to live their true authentic selves.
Issue(s): LGBT Rights

http://www.aclu-il.org/our-child-is-a-girl/

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