Session No.

525

How to Turn a Definite "No" into a Sustainable "Yes"

J.A. Rodriguez Jr.

Global Senior Manager
Raytheon Intelligence, Information and Services
Dulles, VA

Introduction
Back in the day: Yes, we have all heard it, some researchers claim more than tens of thousands of
times by the age of five years old, the word no. Can I have some candy? No! Can I stay up late?
No! Can I have some money? No! Can I.? No! Please? No! We are so accustomed and
programed to hearing the word no that most of us have learned to expect it,even though we do
not like accepting it.
Fast forward to the present day and your career as a professional: Can I have some funding
for? No! Can I buy? No! Can I attend? No! Can I get promoted? What about an increase
in pay? No! Can I? No!
Add in the stressors of the economy, and we are surrounded by the fortified no response
and resulting expectation. Things have not changed much from back in the dayor have they?
The curious question is can this undesirable answer be systematically turned around? One word:
Yes!
Our natural responses to questions are often the result of a subliminal yet purposeful risk
assessment. That is to say, what is the risk of saying yes versus the risk of saying no? The
no response is frequently viewed as being the likely safe choice or low risk answer. The word
yes often comes with or implies a commitment that people may not want to necessarily make at
the moment. Compounding the issue is a society that is imprisoned in an era of distractions where
everyone is doing much more with much less. No is the easy way out. This unique set of
variables encourages a natural habitat for the response of no to flourish.

Our Brains are Reportedly Wired to Connect the Dots

Consider all of those optical illusions that trick our eyes into thinking something is there when, in
fact, it is not or into seeing shades of color that are not present, or different color dots on a
unicolor grid. See for yourself. Enter the term, optical illusion images in your favorite search

engine. What you will see is a myriad of images that trick our brain into thinking something is
there or not there when the complete opposite is true.
So why does this happen? Experts say that our brains are wired to connect the dots, to fill
in the missing information. Our brains need to make sense of the world around us, and when it
cannot, it fabricates information to make the connection. Often, this fabricated information is
incorrect and leads us to draw conclusions that are not facts. Worse yet, experts tell us that our
brains are not wired to remember the details.
Try this exercise:
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Find a penny.
Look at both sides of the coin.
Put the penny away in a place where you can no longer see it.
Search for the term find the real penny in your search engine.
Several of the images that come up will illustrate fifteen pennies perfectly aligned.
Select and enlarge one of those images.
See if you can identify the real penny from those images.
Commit to one image as being the correct representation of a penny.
Locate the penny you just looked at and put away.
Validate if your selection is correct.

Most of us will get this wrong. We will not be able to select the right penny from the
group of mostly wrong pennies. We do this, despite the fact that we just looked at an actual
penny. Why is this? How does this happen? Are we all suffering from short-term memory
paralysis?
Experts say that our brains store enormous amounts of data every day, reportedly to the
tune of tens of gigabits per day. They also tell us that our brains encounter hundreds of billions of
bits of information per second, but are only aware of several thousand of those. What? This
means that every second of our lives, we are only retaining .5 millionth of a percent (5x10-9 or 5
Nano) of what we experience. To put this into further perspective, if we equate the information
we are exposed to per second to an 80-year life span, we would only capture 12.6 seconds of our
lives. It is simply incredible the amount of information our brains must to ignore to make sense of
the world around us.
Lets put this to the test. Take a look out your window or across your room. What do you
see? Do you count every dot, every imperfection on every surface you see? Did you count every
leaf on every tree? What about the number cars that past you by in the few seconds you took
notice? What about the total number of tires on those cars? How many of those vehicles are
damaged, clean, or dirty? How many red ones and blue ones? Do you know every dimensional
attribute of every object within your view? Did you remember every color of every object? Did
you notice that the things that are closer to you field of view also appear larger? Suddenly, after
going through this exercise, the realization of information overload can be overwhelming if our
brain somehow did not extrapolate what is important to keep and what it can discard. That is why
we only keep several thousands of bits of information per second and not the several hundred
billion that are available to us. Another key retention facilitator is emotion. Any time emotion is

tied to information, our brains tend to retain it. Another way at looking at this is that if it is not
important to us, we likely will not remember it and if we do, it will not be for very long.
Lets consider one more example of why the brain experts may be on to something. I am
going to offer up a number. Once you see it, take note of the first thought that comes to mind. Are
you ready?
9/11
What was your first thought? Did your technical tendencies equate that number
representation as nine divided by eleven or did you equate that number to a date of infamy back
in 2001, when our nation was attacked? The likelihood is high that if you are old enough, your
thoughts were brought back to that faithful day. You likely remember where you were when you
heard the news and how you felt back in 2001. So, the question is, do you remember the same
details from 9/11 of last year. If you are like me, the likelihood is low that you will remember that
likely insignificant date and those likely insignificant details.
Why is it that we remember details about specific world events during our lifetime? We
remember details that include where we were, who we were with, and our thoughts at the time of
the event, yet most of us cannot remember the license plate number of the last car we saw this
morning, never mind the color. The reason is that we were exposed to information that we did not
emotionally process. The information did not make a pit stop; therefore, the low retention factor
was predictable and inevitable.
The fact is that we all experience difficulty remembering any information that does not
matter to us. Experts say that our short-term memory can only hold between three and seven
details in our brains at any one moment. When that number is exceeded, we tend to remember
details wrong, just like in the penny identification example. When we do not have the details or
cannot remember them, our brains simply connect the dots from the information that we do have,
often incorrectly.

What Does Connecting the Dots Have to do With Yes or No?

So what does not capturing everything we are exposed to and not remembering everything we
experience have to do with securing a yes over a no from your organization, from your boss?
Well, everything!
How, how much, and what you present as information determines what is important to
leadership and what they remember. Think of presenting a 50-page presentation on your project
to your leadership. If the experts are correct, the likelihood is high that they will only remember a
fraction of what you presented. To make matters worse, your leadership will only remember the
parts they chose to remember versus what you feel is important. They will likely connect the dots
to make sense of your presentation (leaving things to interpretation). Next, your leadership will
make a decision based on what they remember and their extrapolation of the information. Given
this framework, the response you receive may not be the anticipated or the desired response.
To offset and counteract the way the brain works, present your information in short,
digestible bursts in consideration of the theory that we can only keep track of three to seven

details at a time. Connect your presentation to leaderships goals, company mission, and vision.
Interweave the business side into your presentation to demonstrate global and enterprise
acuteness. This will incorporate the emotional factor required for leadership to positively
remember you and your presentation long after the event. Work on connecting the dots for
leadership and not setting it up for your leadership to connect the dots themselves.

Turning a Definite No into a Sustainable Yes

It is estimated by some researchers that most of us have heard the word no tens of thousands of
times by the age of five, that we have heard this word so much that we naturally expect it as an
acceptable response! Lets consider present day.
Do we still hear the word no often? Think about the answers to these questions and you can
be the judge:

Boss, can I have a raise? A promotion?

Can I have the approval to hire more people? We need two.
Can I have a new computer? This one is three years old.
Can I fly business class? The flight is seven hours.
Can I work from home four days a week? I can be more productive.
Can I get a company car and a marketing budget higher than the one I have now?
Can I only work forty hours a week?
Okay, can I at least have a window office?
What about a designated parking spot?
An administrative assistant?

The fact is that we hear the word no more often than we realize. The key is to recognize
the opportunity to turn this trend around. The following four steps will help you turn a No into
a sustainable Yes:
1. Think positively. Your expectations and approach are energy delivery devices. If you walk in
projecting that you are expecting a no, you will likely achieve that goal. Positive thinking is
facilitated by being extremely prepared for every question, every scenario, and anticipating
every curveball thrown your way. Preparedness in turn facilitates positive energy.
Organizations typically respond to positive energy, positively.
2. Perform the risk assessment for leadership and demonstrate why the yes is a better option in
the long run, e.g., Heres my question, but before you answer, please allow me to share the
pros and cons of my request so you can make an informed decision. I have considered the
following five options and have elected this one for these reasons Performing the risk
assessment ahead of time will prepare you for the various points of view that you will
encounter. Aligning these points of view is a key in securing a yes from the stakeholders if
your proposal is vision and mission aligned. Knock each anticipated argument down by
demonstrating that the path you selected is superior in meeting the organizational objectives.
3. Ask for you leaderships immediate input on your analysis, your viewpoint, during your
presentation. Incorporate their concerns in your assessment, and present a revised strategy that

mitigates those concerns, e.g., Is there anything that I am not considering? What are your
thoughts on my justification for this request? This step demonstrates that you are prepared and
have organizationally thought things through. Additionally, it creates a teaming type of an
environment.
4. If the glowing eyes of no appears to be glancing through the darkness despite your efforts,
encourage leadership to take more time to make a decision, e.g., I know these things take
some time to think through, so Ill go back and review my request with your input and check
your calendar to touch base again. Work towards a maybe or perhaps answer, regroup and
return to step one. Continue diligently until the yes is achieved. Resolve to not ever accept
no as an answer. Like everything, this takes conviction and practice.

Conclusion
All indications are that our brains are wired to process the few among the many. There is simply
too much information within the world around us every day. Most of us cannot capture and
remember it all. What we remember becomes a selection process that often leaves gaps in
information. Our brains fill in these gaps, sometime incorrectly. The key to encourage the right
connections is to deliver information succinctly, accurately, and strategically so as to achieve
alignment with organizational goals.
No is the easy way out. It is normally viewed as the lowest risk answer. We have become
accustomed to hearing it. The trick is to evaluate the risks and develop the course of action to
move forward.
The goal of most professionals is to make a positive impact in their work and profession.
To do this, we must acquire the ability to consistently secure a sustainable and consistent yes
from leadership. This skill is no longer a luxury. The best innovation will go unnoticed if it is not
sold properly. If innovations are not viewed as innovations, then there are no innovators from
leaderships vantage point. You want to be viewed as an innovator.
The key to a fruitful career is to develop the skill to extract yes responses where no
seems to be the norm. Doing so will advance your career. It will define how you are viewed in the
eyes of your leadership. Think positive, perform the risk assessment for the organization, ask for
immediate input, and forget about taking no for an answer. Adopt this strategy and the
likelihood is rather high that the yes will subdue the no, that the blank stares will be replaced
with nods of approval, and that the apparent glow within the darkness bestowed in step four is
actually the spark of something great to come.
It is just a matter of energy, expectation, approach and time. Yes! Yes!
Dare to think differently.

References
Calvin, W.H. 1996. How Brains Think. New York: Basic Books.
Farah, M.J. 2000. The Cognitive Neuroscience of Vision. Malden, MA: Wiley-Blackwell.
Hubel, D.H., Wiesel, T.N. 2005. Brain and visual perception: the story of a 25-year
collaboration. New York: Oxford University Press U.S.
Jerison, H.J. 1973. Evolution of the Brain and Intelligence. New York: Academic Press.
Kandel, E.R. 2007. In Search of Memory: The Emergence of a New Science of Mind. New York:
WW Norton.
Roth, G., Dicke, U. 2005. "Evolution of the brain and Intelligence." Trends in Cognitive Sciences
Rodriguez, J.A., Jr. 2012. Information Pit Stops Motivate Employees to Love Their PPE . ISEA
Protection Update, EHS Today Magazine, Retrieved March 5, 2014,
from http://ehstoday.com/sitefiles/ehstoday.com/files/archive/ehstoday.com/ppe/ISEA_Feb2012Final.pdf
SharpBrains.com. How do words, such a yes and no change our brains and lives? (Retrieved
March 5, 2014) (http://sharpbrains.com/blog/2012/07/09/how-do-words-such-as-yes-and-nochange-our-brains-and-lives/)